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luxshine · 3 years

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The Great Supernatural Rewatch Project - Salvation

I started writting this in the middle of season 13 but RL and work and some mental health issues made me take a step back from fandom in general and well, I was also fearing this would be an unending job since the series JUST.KEPT. GOING.

However, now that the series is done (And omg, what a clusterfuck that was. My tallies are going to go insane if I get there) and thus there’s an ending in sight, I will do my best to finish season 1, and try and get the rest of the seasons in a more timely manner. Say, before they do the inevitable reunion and ignore the last episode completely.

(I’m going to be honest, part of the problem was that Supernatural used to be SO good back then, and when I see the new episodes I weep a bit inside. I can’t believe they were so much better at creating story arcs when they weren’t TRYING to create story arcs)

Of course, now we all know that Dean’s plots in general will not have a happy ending no matter what, and that makes that particular tally bittersweet. But there are STILL people who claim that nope, Dean was never mistreated by the writers and well, Jack damn it, I am not going to let that claim go without bringing numbers to the table. Hopefully, it won’t take me 15 years to finish (Because by then, I would be the only one caring I guess)

In any case, last lap for Season 1 and we begin with Salvation.

General stuff

A specific reason for me having rage quitted this episode in particular for so long: For some stupid copyright thing with Netflix, they don’t have Carry On My Wayward Son as the song for the final recap –at least in Netflix Latam. And Supernatural without Carry On My Wayward Son is no Supernatural. So I had to hunt my DVDs. Then my computer DVD player died. Then I decided to make 5 webcomics at the same time. THEN I decided to start doing illustration works, and three other projects and let’s just say I am a bit of a workaholic and leave it like that as the rest is not SPN-related.

Ahem.

Funny thing about the Road so Far –you know, besides being a LOT shorter than the ones we’re getting now- is that it focuses a lot more on DEAN at the beginning, while if you watch the show, well, we know most of those Dean scenes come from MoW episodes and not the actual mytharc. Another interesting thing is that if one believes those things to be chronological, it makes it as if the Colt had been with the brothers for a lot longer than half an episode, and that Sam’s issue with the visions is not that recent. Edition Magic everyone! Also, omg, they were babies when the series started, and how WEIRD is to see John looking at them with pride and smiling at Dean at some points.

Anyway, the recap and the epicness that is Carry On my Wayward Son ends and we start the actual plot.

Hello Pastor Jim. Goodbye Pastor Jim. And here Supernatural begins the long, long tradition of killing characters who could’ve been useful later on, and more importantly, that could’ve been the boys’s support system later on. While here it’s understandable since we need to show how dangerous and vicious Meg is –ah, irony that in about 8 seasons people will be rooting for her Redemption- it also makes the Hunters kind of useless. I mean, he has all that weaponry and only uses a knife? Sigh. Really, a waste. Pastor Jim as a concept was really intriguing –and I don’t think we’ve heard of any other hunter who was also a priest. Funny, when we have so many demons free now. There’s also the fact that when Pastor Jim claims that she can’t be in the church because it’s hallowed ground, she replies that “That might work with the minor leagues, but not with her” and I wonder… did we ever got a demon that couldn’t enter a church? Because right now out of the top of my head I can’t remember, and yet Pastor Jim was surprised but later no one seems to think it weird there were signs of demonic activity around his body. Another sign that, as engaging as the series was, once we start digging the world building, things fall apart very quickly.

Actually, if I may digress for a bit, here we have the very first look at Supernatural´s second biggest problem: killing support characters that may have been useful lately. Here it is because Kirkpe had this weird idea that Hunting would never be glamorized by the show/fandom and it would be a completely miserable and lonely existence. He also didn’t think that the series would survive past season 2. So, ok, killing the guy we only knew by throw away lines didn’t seem so bad. By season 13 every single recurring character had died at least once –and there were petitions to bring back I think every one of those who haven’t come back- it’s a big problem.

As I restarted writing, I also realized that the mere existence of Pastor Jim and his room of awesome research and weapons creates a problem in the future about the Men of Letters because… ok, so ONE member of the clerigy knew enough about demons and stuff to be a hunter and have THE Hunter as his main contact (John Winchester was sort of a legend back then. And he had also fell out of contact with many others so the fact that he and Pastor Jim were still friendly? Kind of interesting), but what about the rest? Did the Vatican have any contact with the British men of Letters or the American ones? And if so, what the hell did they think when suddenly ALL the Men of Letters disappeared? Ok, so that’s a lot of stuff that doesn’t matter right now as it won’t actually exist until much, much, MUCH latter, but see what I mean when I say that they didn’t plan anything and the lack of a series bible hurts the show more than it helped it thrive? I am realizing right now I could write a whole treaty on the Men of Letters and their non-relationship with hunters ONLY using this cold beginning and the Henry Winchester episode.

But this is not the time for that, so we get our title card and a very, VERY young Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

We move to John who is explaining off camera everything he knows about Yellow Eye´s plan. We can tell it´s not much as he thinks it came out of hibernation and that the whole attacking families is part of a cycle, but back then it was impressive how much he had managed to find out about this demon. We also know that it attacks exactly when the baby in the house is six months old, which brings us to this little jewel:

JOHN It starts in Arizona, then New Jersey, California. Houses burned down to the ground. It's going after families, just like it went after us.

SAM Families with infants?

JOHN Yeah. The night of the kid's six-month birthday.

SAM I was six months old that night?

JOHN Exactly six months.

SAM So basically, this demon is going after these kids for some reason. The same way it came for me? So Mom's death...Jessica. It's all because of me?

DEAN We don't know that Sam.

SAM Oh really? Cause I'd say we're pretty damn sure Dean.

DEAN For the last time, what happened to them was not your fault.

SAM Right. It's not my fault but it's my problem.

DEAN No it's not your problem it's our problem!

Now, in the following seasons we will know that yes, it was ALL about Sam. But right now, the characters and the viewers don´t know that. We know that a lot of families were killed by the demon (That at this point was still “The demon” and wouldn´t become Azazael until later), and that he doesn´t take the children. So… how did Sam leap from “this demon attacks families with 6 month old children” to “It´s all about ME!”? He even ignores that Dean and John lost Mary for his last line, when he decides it´s his problem and not their problem. Also, and this is important for the “Dean is the most awful person to Sam” crowd… Dean immediately tells Sam that no, it´s not his fault. While he could harbor some ill feelings against Sam –and demon Dean, 8 seasons later, will voice them- at this point he is 100% on Sam´s side. There’s also a sideway glance from John to DEAN when Sam claims that everything is about him, and then I wonder exactly why, if John knew all about the fact that the demon chased six month old children specifically, he never resented Sam over it. One would think that given John’s love for Mary and deep desire to revenge, Sam would really be the outcast and the one only treated like a soldier (as he claims he was, but not really as we’ve seen), instead of Dean who was completely blameless in the whole thing.

(Also, this is the first time we see that Azazael´s plan didn´t make much sense IF we believed that Kirkpe had everything planned. But that´s a discussion for another time)

Anyway, John interrupts the argument to explain that while he has no idea what the demon is after (Another thing that later would be contradicted as he knew Sam had powers), but that he has managed to figure out his pattern of attack to the point that it even repeated it for Jessica’s killing (Even if much, much later, we’ll learn that it wasn’t Azazael the one who killed her, and Demons would completely forego the signs when attacking. Have I mentioned I miss the times when the myths made sense?) and the three of them pack up for their first real hunt together as they decide they will save the next baby on the demon’s list, in a town named Salvation.

Important thing to note: when John recites the demon signs, Dean immediately replies “that happened in Lawerence”. He remembers, quite clearly, what happened a week before his mother died even if logistically, at his age? He wouldn’t care nor notice. Sure, he remembers his mom’s death because that was traumatic. But random cow deaths before that? Weird show.

If Sam noticed or not the signs before Jessica died, we don’t know. John is the one who points out they happened.

After two gorgeous road shots where we see John’s truck being followed by Baby (yet another thing we lost, John’s truck. I know we needed to have the guys together all the time, but man, if Sam had inherited it, they would’ve been able to cover more terrain at times, have double the arsenal and maybe not being identified by everyone and their leviathan in season 7, but I digress), and just entering Salvation John stops, obviously spooked by something. As Dean stops behind him, they find out that Pastor Jim is dead, and John got a call from another hunter named Caleb to tell him. They assume it may be the demon they’re chasing, or maybe another demon that was looking for Pastor Jim specifically but that last theory is not very probable.

Here I have to pause to applaud Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s acting, as you can practically FEEL John’s despair at knowing an old friend of him died, and that HE was probably the cause for that death. A Winchester trait, of course, blaming themselves for everything bad that happens in their world, but unlike Sam’s early outburst, here it seems far more desperate. Of course, JDM had a lot more experience than Jared at that point, but I really wanted to make a note of it because we lost a LOT of that characterization for John, where he actually WORRIED about people and not just the hunt. Even as he decides the plan for finding out what baby the demon will take in a week, we can see him broken and confused. So much that while Sam calls him “sir” when receiving orders, Dean continues the conversation by calling him “Dad”.

John then declares that this ends now, obviously feeling responsible for what happened to his friend. A long shot from the flanderized man we’d hear about in future seasons who was infamous for letting his hunting partners die without so much as a second glance.

Also, and not to be mean to the writers, but in their endless accidentally making Sam unsympathetic, they made him say that there were too many children in the county that could be a victim and that it would take forever to check all of them. While I KNOW the intent was to make clear that they had a deadline of one week, it comes out weirdly as “I don’t want to do the footwork.” Seriously, writers should be careful with that.

Actually, let’s dissect that. Because I just thought of two ways they could’ve fixed it AND give us more info.

JOHN Now we act like every second counts. There's two hospitals and a health centre in this county. We split up, cover more ground. I want records. I want a list of every infant that's going to be six months old in the next week.

SAM Dad that could be dozens of kids. How do we know which one's the right one?

JOHN We check em all that's how. You got any better ideas?

SAM No sir.

So, first way to make Sam not look that bad: Give the line to Dean. I wouldn’t like it specially, but hey, he’s the sidekick, not the hero, and so far he has only wanted to bail on ONE hunt because he wasn’t sure it was a supernatural hunt so he’d be better standing than Sam in that regard.

Second way: Make Sam say that YES, he has a better idea. Because the brothers ALREADY faced Max, so he could say they could look for a baby that was a bit “strange”, like, with poltergeist stuff going around. John could not believe him, but at least Sam would be being proactive.

In any case, they separate as John planned and we see each of them get into the hospital records. We get a glimpse of John’s collection of fake IDs, that include one for a Morgue forensic doctor, then Sam getting a homely nurse giving him files and him taking notes, and Dean… getting flirty with a very hot nurse.

And I make a point of the “Oh, look, Dean is an irresponsible womanizer” trope because once again the writers shoot themselves in the foot by showing the opposite of what they were telling (And no, this time I can’t blame it on Jensen’s acting and refusal to look at his female co-stars without respect).

WOMAN Hi. Is there anything I can do for you?

DEAN (smiling) Oh God yes.

She smiles and looks down.

DEAN (Holding up his ID) Only I'm uh....working right now, so...

The writers here make us remember that a) Dean is AMAZINGLY charismatic, as the woman IS flattered and seems interested, and b) That he will NOT dump his work for a quickie. We don’t even get a “maybe later” that could make him look as if he was really into her. It’s just that he flirts naturally, or at least, this is what we can infer now, as so far he hasn’t had any one night stand fling. The one time we saw him have a sexual encounter in the middle of a hunt was with an ex-girlfriend.

And again I have to wonder what was Sera Gamble’s intention with those scenes as yes, this was written by the same team as Faith, another episode where Sam’s good intentions tend to have a darker side, and gave Dean some amazingly cool scenes.

We don’t know what Dean says to the woman, as we cut back to Sam, coming out of the hospital just in time to have a very convenient vision of a woman, a nursery and a fire. Thankfully, the vision also comes with the useful audio hint of a train passing by, so Sam gets out his map and starts checking where that could be, which leads him to the house in his vision.

And by this point, we know we’re in the right track and this is an important Myth Arc episode, because Sam only has multiple visions in Myth Arc episodes, and he has one the moment he steps in front of the house in said vision. The gods of convenience smile upon him as right then and there a woman pushing a pram comes by, and he manages to talk to her, all friendly like by pretending to having just moved. Then Sam learns the woman’s name is Monica, her baby is Rosie, and Rosie is just six months old, exactly to the day.

Also, that she’s a very quiet baby and that it sometimes seems as if she was reading your mind. Oh, and that Monica really is blind to suspicious men asking her about her family with a face that reads “Oh shit, this is bad”.

Now, HERE is where the whole “five year myth arc” story falls completely. I mean, we already knew it was pretty unlikely it was real, given Kirkpe’s original interviews, but the mere existence of Rosie contradicts every single future story beat. Because if SHE has powers before Azazael goes into her house, then it means that the babies he was hunting didn’t get powers because of him, just that his blood either connected them (hence Sam’s very specific visions), made said powers far more powerful (quite likely), or made them a little bit more prone to violence/prideful behavior. All of those possibilities match with the plan of “raising” a new King or Queen of Hell, that would be faithful to Azazael, but are a bit iffy on the “finding Lucifer’s vessel” thing. Especially since we later learn that the Angels were also helping, and all Hell knew that Lucifer��s vessel HAD to come from the Winchester/Campbell bloodline due to Cain and Abel being the roots of said bloodline, and later pretty much everyone knew Sam was Lucifer’s vessel so the whole targeting a ton of kids, in particular after Mary’s death, is kinda weird.

Oh, Lux, you will say, it is because he wanted to hide his true intentions! No one knew that Sam had been feed demon blood!

Except that the important parties, namely Heaven and Hell, did. Michael had Heaven convinced of his orders, so even if a rogue angel found out that they were speed running the Apocalypse, said angel could be killed. And any demon who was against getting Lucifer back on top would be smart enough to keep quiet so, why the secrecy?

And again, ok, I buy the original demon blood kids being important to “hide” Lucifer’s vessel but… Rosie? What good would it do to Azazael’s plan to have a psychic 4 year old when Lucifer rose? Was “little four year old girl” a good match against a grown up hunter? What was Azazel thinking, if that was the plan all the time?

Now, I want to make clear this doesn’t make THIS episode or the Season-myth arc bad. This original “Boy King of Hell” storyline WAS good. It had a lot of potential, made sense for Sam and since it was before the days of the eternal “What is wrong with Sam?” seasons, there was no boredom of a repeat. It also set a very good question of what made a monster a monster, which would be explored a bit more in Season 2. And it was long before we realized Dean having a myth arc was a pipe dream, so there was no issue there either. It made sense.

But the fact that the writers kind of forgot about everything I just pointed out with Rosie’s scene to try and weld this to the “Heaven vs. Hell” storyline in season 4, and then just promptly forgot because Sam’s powers were then firmly connected to Azazael’s blood so they never came up again and even worse, we never find another psychic kid that could’ve been feed blood by Azazael THIS year that John was chasing him? (Since we know there were no other survivors from Sam’s generation, and later we have a scene that proves that there were no previous generations to Sam’s), it's kind of weird. Personally, I dunno about you, but maybe a return to this storyline in season 6 would’ve been a lot better than we got. Maybe.

By the way, I am not counting the Boy King of Hell story arc as a dropped plot for Sam yet, as we’re going to keep with this at least until season 3. Yes, now we know it didn’t go anywhere, but at the time, and for these episodes in particular, it was THE myth arc of Supernatural. So it can’t be counted as dropped plot yet.

In any case, Sam goes and tells John and Dean about his vision and… oh, boy do we have to move John’s reaction to Emotional Violence.

It’s not good.

But before he can do more damage to Dean’s psyche, Sam gets a call from our favorite demon, Meg. Even if he doesn’t recognize her voice immediately which is weird because a) he did throw her off a window and one would think that makes a girl memorable, and b) it’s not as he knows that many girls who would call him, despite Dean’s best efforts to get him a new girl.

Meg dismisses Sam and asks for John. She makes clear that she is not playing, that she knows he has the Colt and that he will kill every single person who has ever helped John unless he gives it to her that same day at midnight. And to the brothers’ surprise, John accepts those terms (Unfortunately not before we loss Caleb too. I have a lot less interest in Caleb as a character given that he has exactly half a line in the whole show, but it’s still it’s sad to see a guy so defiant even in the face of death go so soon).

Meg also points out that John having the Colt is a “declaration of war” which is interesting as it sort of implies that if he hadn’t gotten it, then the demons would leave him and the brothers alone. And I find that incredibly funny since… no they won’t. And Azazael would’ve been ok if Sam kept the gun anyway, given why they really wanted and once again I am putting holes on the idea that this was planned from the start, aren’t I?

In any case, John declares that Meg is a demon “or is possessed by one” which… ok? First and only time we get the possibility of a demon not using a meat suit. I don’t think this is a mistake, because after all, this is back before the guys faced demons in a normal basis so they could believe that they had their own bodies besides the ones they possessed (And, more importantly, before there was a retcon that made the brothers face and know about demons since pretty much ever). To be completely fair, as much as I love Jimmy and the whole Lucifer arc once it started to make sense… I would’ve been ok if vessels weren’t needed. It added a lot of complications and ended up making the brothers actual serial killers.

Ahem.

After that little gem of wisdom that will be ignored forever, John declares that he will be taking the gun to Meg to avoid more killing and we get another questionable line for Sam. And I am curious as to how to tally it as it’s the opposite of him wanting to leave the hunt, but it’s not that nice either:

DEAN What do we do?

JOHN I'm going to Lincoln. DEAN What? JOHN It doesn't look lilke we have a choice. If I don't go, a lot of people die, our friends die.

SAM Dad, the demon is coming tonight. For Monica and her family. That gun is all we got, you can't just hand it over.

I mean, yes, it is true that the demon is coming for Monica (Well, actually, he’s coming for Rosie, the baby, but I will let that slip pass. Sam is not interested in married ladies), and that with the gun they can kill the demon but it’s not all they’ve got. By this time, Sam has already had his big hero moment when he exorcised a plane in free fall so they could do that, then chase the demon again and then kill it.

But what is jarring is how he hears “a lot of people die, OUR FRIENDS die” and he goes “yeah, whatever, we have a mission to fulfill”.

Which is precisely what later episodes will tell us John used to do, and was the reason why John was not exactly liked by the general hunter population. And at the same time, it’s an eerie reminder of Wendigo, where Sam is willing to let innocents die (his family friends, in this particular case, just as he heard Caleb choke on his own blood) in order to get his way (revenge on the demon that killed Jess. NOT revenge on the demon that killed his mom, since at this point, Sam is still on the “I never knew that woman” train of thought).

Sure, his mind is in the hunt, and that’s commendable because yes, in the long run, killing Azazael would save more innocents (And probably stop the Apocalypse, not that Sam or the writers at that time know it), but it is still strange to see our nominal hero simply not care for his friends’ lives. I mean, at this point WE don’t know about Bobby, so the closest to a parental figure that is not John that Sam had was Pastor Jim and he just DIED.

Worst part is, this could be solved really easy: Just have DEAN be the one who voices the complaint, and have “empathic” Sam mumble that there has to be a way to save everyone (Which, of course, John will mention in a second). It would make Dean look bad, sure, but we’ve been told once and again that Dean never, EVER goes against John plans. Which… not true, ut we will talk about that later. The scene continues, and John declares that he will go to Meg alone, with a fake Colt and while Dean thinks that that won’t work, Sam has a different complaint:

DEAN Yeah but for how long? What happens when she figures it out?

JOHN I just...I just need to buy a few hours, that's all.

SAM You mean for Dean and me. You want us to stay here, and kill this demon by ourselves?

JOHN No Sam. I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school, I want Dean to have a home. I want....I want Mary alive. It's just....I just want this to be over.

And oh, boy. Do this four lines again hold so much weight.

First, once again, Dean seems to be worried for John (logically, he’s their dad), while Sam is making the weirdest line in the universe sort of work because he’s complaining that John is trusting them to kill the demon, something HE wants to do and not four seconds ago was saying they had to do, as if it was John shifting HIS job to Sam. Seriously, I don’t want to think the worst of Sam but when you take out Jared’s acting, the text doesn’t do the younger Winchester’s any favors.

And finally… John’s lines that encompass pretty much Dean’s philosophy in the following seasons. “I want to stop losing people we love” is pretty telling, but what comes next? He actually WANTS Sam to go back to college and not worry about the Supernatural. He actively agrees that Dean doesn’t have a home, and WANTS Dean to have one. It’s as close as love as we’ll see from John to Dean in Season 1, and it hurts. It hurts because we can tell he knows he won’t be there to see it… and now, in hindsight with the finale having aired, we also know Dean didn’t get that. (And to be fair, this is the John who did deserve Heaven. Not the flanderized version we’d get in the future)

Although, ironically, Mary got to be alive again, so… One out of three?

(No, seriously, it’s obvious the writers didn’t even remember this speech when Season 12 hit, much less Season 15)

Ahem.

Dean is sent to get a fake Colt, while Sam and John wait for him. If they talked about anything, we don’t know, but when they exchange guns, Dean voices what we all know is true:

DEAN You know this is a trap don't you. That's why Meg wants you to come alone?

JOHN I can handle her. I got a whole arsenal loaded. Holy water, Mandaic, amulets...

DEAN Dad... JOHN What? DEAN Promise me something. JOHN What's that. DEAN This thing goes south just...get the hell out. Don't get yourself killed all right, you're no good to us dead. JOHN Same goes for you. (There is a long pause) All right listen to me. They made the bullets special for this colt. There's only four of them left. Without them this gun is useless. You make every shot count.

SAM Yes sir.

JOHN Been waiting a long time for this fight. Now it's here I'm not gonna be in it. It's up to you boys now. It's your fight, you finish this. You finish what I started. Understand?

Again, I wish they remembered all they had to get rid of demons before, you know, killing everyone willy-nilly. I mean, I don’t even think I know what Mandalac IS but hey, John says it works, it works. And once more, Dean gets a line that makes clear he is the empathic, loving brother, when it wouldn’t have hurt Sam to say it. In fact, it would make clear that no matter what, he doesn’t hate John. But nope, Sam only acts like the soldier we’re TOLD Dean is, while Dean makes clear that for him, family is more important than revenge (And boy will that come to bite him in the ass later, not in the series, but in this same episode).

Also, I have to admit. When I started this rewatch, John’s final line was just a good moment for John to start letting go of his anger. Now? After that horrid finale? It hurts so, so much. But it hurts more because I KNOW that there’s no way it was intentional. Obviously, Kirkpe didn’t know the series would last 15 years, and I highly doubt Dabb remembered this scene when writing 15x20. But even so, it ends up being Dean’s epitaph. OUCH.

In any case, the Winchester separate again, and we go into act three. Get ready for the feels.

John Winchester hunting alone is a thing of beauty. Seeing him scope the place, check the water tank and immediately think of a plan? Makes me wish Jeffrey Dean Morgan had stayed longer on the show. Sure, John became an asshole, but in this episode he’s still not that bad, we still have no episodes that make clear he didn’t care for Dean, and wasn’t textually abusive. And I am willing to bet that if JDM had stayed, John would’ve evolved more to be a Bobby-like character. But well, What ifs is not why you came to this meta for.

As John is hunting, the brothers are staking out the house were they know Azazael will attack. And while they talk and decide that they have no way to get the family out (In a nice callback to how none of their excuses ever work) we get to this little gem of an exchange:

SAM I wonder how Dad's doing.

DEAN I'd feel a lot better if we were there backing him up.

SAM I'd feel a lot better if he were here backing us up.

Where once again we see where the brother’s priorities lie, and I wonder why the hell the writers ever thought they were writing Sam as an empathic character.

Because yes, Dean is wishing he could be out there helping his Dad, proving that for him, it has always been about the family. Not the hunting, but the protecting. But Sam doesn’t want to protect John. He wants John protecting Them. And helping them in the revenge hunt, not trying to save others.

Sure, we know the brothers are there to save an innocent mother, but John is also saving a ton of hunters and people who, in the past, were nice and open to the family. And it would’ve been so much easier to make Sam look better if he instead had said “I’d feel a lot better if we hadn’t had to separate” or something like that, that proved he saw BOTH missions were important.

Seriously, I do wonder why the writers made these choices, and I wish someone had asked this at cons.

We go back to John, who, really, Is an amazing hunter even if he is a horrible father. Also, I wonder if he got ordained at a web church, in order to be able to sanctify water. That would be such a John Winchester thing to do, and I do wonder why the boys never did it too. ANYWAY, he hands the gun to Meg, and to her ally that came so that we could have a scene to prove the Colt is fake as the ally shoots Meg.

As John says, Meg was lucky the gun was fake. And once again, I do wonder what the plan was if it WAS the Colt. I mean, Meg was Azazael’s second in command. Why would nameless demon risk killing her? Or did he kinow the gun was fake?

In any case, this makes the moment where we can be 100% sure that Meg’s meat suit 1.0 was dead. I mean, she could’ve survived the fall in Shadow, but a bullet to the chest? No way.

We go back to the brothers, and Sam breaks every single law of a procedural show by giving this great speech about how thankful he is to Dean for everything, and how he needs to say that “in case” something happened.

Dean is definitely not impressed and reminds him that the only one dying today is Azazael.

As we see John temporarily escape from Meg and her muscle boy, we go back to the brothers who see the demon omens start up so they get ready for the final fight.

The brothers manage to save Monica and her baby, despite the very understandable interference from Hubbard, the husband (I mean, you would not react nicely to two strangers intruding in your house and yelling to your wife to not go into the nursery room), however, before Sam can shoot Azazel, he disappears into smoke (A really interesting question here is, WHY did Sam wait to shoot and then wasted a bullet, but I digress).

Going completely against M.O, Azazael makes the CRIB burst into flames, but fortunately Dean has already gotten Rosie out of it so the brothers escape the flaming house. While Monica cries her thanks, Sam notices that Azazael is still inside, and tries to go after him, but Dean stops him because he is not going to lose his brother to the fire. By the way, I am not counting “Dean stopping Sam from going into a burning building” as “Dean forcing Sam to do something” since, uh, he was saving Sam’s life and it’s something anyone in Dean’s place would’ve done.

At the same time, we see John getting captured by Meg and her muscle boy because he didn’t think about getting a third escape route (But honestly? That was pretty much a plot necessity. John was HEAVILY prepared for that fight)

Back in the hotel, Dean is worried that John is not answering his calls, while Sam is furious that Dean didn’t let him kill himself by running into a burning house. They have a nasty fight that mirrors the one they had back in the pilot, but since it IS a fight between the brothers, you know the drill. We’re examining it under Violence.

Once Sam calms down, he tells Dean to try calling John again. Unfortunately, it’s Meg who answers and she tells Dean that they’re never seeing their dad again.

And we get the first “To be continued” for the series (Which to be honest, despite all the little continuity mistakes I mentioned here? Is still pretty epic)

Violence

Well, we had to run out of episodes where the brothers don’t fight each other at some point, didn’t we?

This fight, over Sam wanting to kill himself in his search for revenge, is a very neat parallel to the fight they had back in the Pilot, over Sam NOT wanting to even involve himself in the family’s search for revenge. Which I know it’s supposed to be ironic and a show of character growth since now Dean is the one saying that revenge is not worth their lives but… it falls a little bit flat because the reason why Sam is so gung-ho in killing Azazael is, once again, a very selfish one and the way in he expresses it makes it quite clear. (Again, I do wonder if the writers stopped to think about the implications of Sam only getting really into hunting when it was about him or his losses?)

But let’s start at the beginning:

SAM If you had just let me go in there, I coulda ended all this.

DEAN Sam, the only thing you would have ended was your life.

SAM You don't know that.

DEAN So what, you're just willing to sacrifice yourself, is that it?

SAM Yeah. Yeah you're damn right I am.

DEAN Well that's not going to happen, not as long as I'm around.

This right here? Is a nice summary of the relationship of the brothers for the whole series. Sam wants to do something stupid, like, say, running into a burning building, Dean is there to stop him before he hurts himself.

Also, let’s make clear the use of first person by Sam. It’s not “We coulda ended this”, as in the family ending the hunt, but “I coulda ended this”. Again, at this point, not something that is a problem, but considering hindsight, we can see how the writers are completely invested in SAM as a sole main character, and write him as such, while Dean is more of the sidekick.

In any case, the argument continues, still not escalating to violence.

SAM What the hell are you talking about Dean, we've been searching for this demon our whole lives. It's the only thing we've ever cared about.

DEAN Sam I wanna waste it. I do. Okay? But it's not worth dying over.

SAM What?

DEAN I mean it. If hunting this demon means getting yourself killed then I hope we never find the damn thing.

Important thing how Sam apparently forgot he left for four (two) years and wanted out of the family business, now that he is angry and into the revenge thing. It’s not “You’ve been searching for this demon your whole life”, which would’ve been correct AND a logical counterargument against Dean. Before this episode, Sam was supposedly the brother who understood that revenge was a way of living, while Dean is the one who was Daddy’s little soldier. But here, when it actually would matter to the narrative, it is as if Sam’s wishes for a normal life are completely forgotten and it’s Dean the one who understands that there’s more to living than revenge (Which, btw, is consistent through the season despite everyone claiming that Dean needs Sam to keep hunting. All season, Dean has been giving Sam outs, telling him it’s ok to quit)

And of course, Dean here proves that Sam is more important to him than revenge for his mother, as he is willing to never get to kill the demon as long as his family, his brother in particular, survives.

Poor Dean.

SAM That thing killed Jess. That thing killed Mom.

DEAN You said yourself once, that no matter what we do, they're gone, and they're never coming back.

SAM Don't you say that, not you! Not after all this don't you say that.

DEAN Sam look. The three of us...that's all we have...and it's all I have. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely holding it together man...and without you or Dad....

Unfortunately, script doesn’t quiet convey the scene as there’s a LONG pause between “That thing killed Jess” and “That thing killed Mom”. Enough so that we can believe that Sam is using that second phrase not because he cares (in the Pilot he made clear he didn’t), but to make Dean get on board with the whole “I can kill myself if it means getting revenge” plan. In other words, once again, Sam is weaponizing Mary against Dean, and that is a really nasty habit the younger Winchester never quite shakes out of. Instead, Dean shows how he LISTENED to Sam back in the Pilot and repeats Sam’s words to him on the bridge.

Which is when Sam loses it and pushes Dean against a wall, Dean not defending himself at all, and yells that Dean has no right to say what Sam told Dean the very first hunt they had together after years of separation.

And of course, once Dean mentions their father, Sam starts calming down. NOT when Dean says that he’s barely holding it together, or that he only has them. Just when he mentions their father who is, in Sam’s mind, the one who can help him get revenge.

The fight ends, but Sam never once apologizes for what he said to Dean, nor for the fight. Which, by the way, contradicts his claim that Dean “always has his back”.

Emotional Violence

Whenever we have John on an episode, we’re going to have to talk about emotional violence and I kind of hate that because on one hand, I get how John could’ve been a very tragic figure that loved his sons but still wanted to avenge his wife, and not being the abusive bastard we know and don’t love that much.

When Sam and Dean explain about Sam’s visions, and how they started as nightmares but have grown in intensity, his reaction is quite subdued, but clear. He is not happy, but the problem isn’t the visions –for a man obsessed with the supernatural, his outward reaction to his younger son being a psychic is quite calm- but that they didn’t inform him of what was going on:

JOHN All right. When were you going to tell me about this?

DEAN We didn't know what it meant.

JOHN All right, something like this starts happening to your brother, you pick up the phone and you call me.

DEAN dumps the coffee jug and cup back on the counter and strides toward JOHN.

DEAN Call you? Are you kidding me? Dad I called you from Lawrence all right? Sam called you when I was dying. I mean, getting you on the phone? I got a better chance of winning the lottery.

JOHN You're right. Although I'm not too crazy about this new tone of yours, you're right. I'm sorry.

And let’s be clear, John’s anger is not directed at Sam, it’s directed at Dean. “Something like this starts happening to your brother” is not “Something like this starts happening to either of you”. Which is also a show of how good an actor JOHN is in universe because WE know that he knew. Missouri TOLD him point blank that Sam was powerful and that he could have known that John was around during the Home episode. But here, he acts as if this was news to him when he could ALSO have told them what to expect if that happened. (Mind you, I am assuming that Sera Gamble knew or remembered about Home’s script when writing this and didn’t just forget or was unaware that John was supposed to know)

Now, all season, Sam has been complaining and yelling about how John doesn’t answer their calls, doesn’t seem to care what’s going on with them. So it’d be logical and in character for Sam to say something here. But instead is DEAN, Dad’s little soldier, the one we’ve SEEN obeying John without question finally have enough and talk back to his father with some truths. And it’s VERY interesting that his first complain is not that John didn’t care that Dean almost died, but that he didn’t reply when Dean called from Lawrence. One could almost infer that Dean expected John not to care if Dean died, but was honestly hurt that he didn’t care about a case that could’ve involved MARY.

John, surprisingly, sort of agrees. He does say “I’m sorry”, which makes him the Winchester who is quicker to say those words… but he still manages to make a threat against Dean “I am not too crazy about this NEW tone of yours”.

Making it clear that before? Dean never talked back. And John doesn’t like it when his soldiers talk back.

It makes it hard to believe John ever thought of Dean as his son and makes it very clear why Dean never understood Sam’s confidence that Dean was the favored one.

Speeches and Apologies

I considered not including this particular speech, but then I remembered that Supernatural is ALSO famous for their big emotional speeches, and this is Sam’s first, and also, Dean’s first time listening to someone he cares about give him the “I am saying goodbye because I am going kamikaze” speech and after all the drama in season 15, I guess it’s necessary to do some dissection.

It is important that despite all the things that Sam has done to Dean, the words “I’m sorry” are never uttered here.

SAM Dean...ah...I wanna thank you. DEAN For what? SAM For everything. You've always had my back you know? Even when I couldn't count on anyone I could always count on you. And ah...I don't know I just wanted to let you know, Just in case DEAN Whoa whoa whoa, are you kidding me? SAM What? DEAN Don't say just in case something happens to you. I don't wanna hear that freaking speech man. Nobody's dying tonight. Not us, not that family, nobody. Except that demon. That evil son of a bitch ain't getting any older than tonight, you understand me?

This is not a bad “freaking speech”. I understand why Dean didn’t want to hear it, because it is like jinxing the mission (And, let’s be honest, it did), but it’s not a bad speech.

Except that, reading it again, it lacks one important part. Sure, Sam thanks Dean for always being there (Forgetting that, at least three times this season alone, he has accused Dean of not having his back and being unreliable. Which will ALSO be a constant theme in the series’s long run), but he never mentions the times HE did things that would be hard to back up. Which, again, I am not counting as a bad thing against him in this precise moment in time, since he is young, in his roaring roadtrip of revenge, and we’ve only know the brothers for a year, but it is the beginning of a series’ long crutch to make us forgive all of Sam’s sins without him actually doing the work to be forgiven.

On the other hand, it all goes to waste a bit later when Sam starts hitting Dean for the horrible sin of not letting him run into a burning building and kill himself so… it’s not really a “thank you for having my back” speech but a “You better remember, you never fight me and my choices are the best” speech in hindsight. Which… not good on Sam, no.

Double narrative standards

This episode is kind of balanced, except for that little moment where we’re supposed to think Dean is wrong for telling Sam that revenge is not worth their lives. So there’s not much to write in this particular segment.

Final Tally

Ok, back in the saddle. And after all that, I decided not to tally Sam’s little slip about not caring if their loved ones die as long as he gets to kill Azazael. Let me know if you disagree.

The count is still not good on Sam’s side, but as always, you are free to disagree with me, and dm me if you think I missed a tally or I should change one. If your argument is solid and canon based, I will listen to it and may change the numbers.

Numbers (or the TL;DR summary)

(Episode/Total so far)

Times Dean has lied to Sam or to a loved one: 0 / 0

Times Sam has lied to Dean or to a loved one: 0 / 3

Times Dean has been caught in a lie: 0 / 0

Times Sam has been caught in a lie: 0 / 1

Times Dean has hit Sam in anger: 0 / 1

Times Sam has hit Dean in anger: 1 / 4

Times Dean's lies or secrets have caused someone's death: 0 / 0

Times Sam's lies or secrets have caused someone's death: 0 / 1

Times Dean has abandoned (Or wanted to abandon) a hunt in the middle for his own needs: 0 / 0

Times Sam has abandoned (Or wanted to abandon) a hunt in the middle for his own needs: 0 / 7

Times Dean forced Sam to do something: 0 / 0

Times Sam forced Dean to do something: 0 / 7

Secrets kept by Dean: 0 / 1

Secrets kept by Sam: 0 / 2

Times Dean has blamed Sam for something: 0 / 0

Times Sam has blamed Dean for something: 1 / 4

Times Dean has apologized with words to Sam: 0 / 3

Times Sam has apologized with words to Dean: 0 / 2

Times Dean has respected Sam's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 7

Times Sam has respected Dean's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 0

Times Dean hasn't respected Sam's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 0

Times Sam hasn't respected Dean's boundaries and / or rules: 0 / 13

Times Dean has made fun of something Sam does or has: 0 / 6

Times Sam has made fun of something Dean does or has: 0 / 31

Times we focus on Dean's needs: 0 / 1

Times we focus on Sam's needs: 1 / 6

Arc episodes dedicated to Sam: 1 / 7

Filler episodes dedicated to Sam: 0 / 6

Arc episodes dedicated to Dean: 0 / 0

Filler episodes dedicated to Dean: 0 / 4

Arc episodes dedicated to both brothers (or to none): 0 / 2

Filler episodes dedicated to both brothers (or to none): 0 / 2

Dean's Dropped Plotlines: 0 / 1

Sam's Dropped Plotlines: 0 / 2

#Supernatural rewatch project #Salvation #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #not very Sam positive #John Winchester #Season 1 #Season 1 episode 20 #SPN #Supernatural meta

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gold-from-straw · 6 years

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Writing Process tag game

Tagged by @gothyringwald! Thank you ^_^

1. What are your favourite genres and/or styles to write in?

I recently discovered I actually LOVE magical realism. I really like world building like that. But most of all I like writing about people and relationships, so within that, anything really

2. What was the last writing project you finished and felt successful with?

I get a total buzz from finishing anything, often because I’m super excited about starting on the next thing! I think Wicked Boys, though - it’s just the first draft that’s finished, but I’m really pleased with how it turned out. The Forest Hotel, as well, I finished that quite a while ago but I still feel really positive about it, which is unheard of for me lol! My friend has finished the front cover art, so hopefully I’ll be able to publish it soon! But the most surprising success was Nature of Trust, because it’s STILL gathering hits and kudos like crazy, it didn’t slow down after I finished uploading, and I can’t even quite figure out why?! I feel like I hit on some magic formula there and I’m fascinated lol!

3. If you have a WiP how do you feel it’s going? What stage are you in?

Oh dear, hold on people. So I’ve got 2 original novels that are about 1/3 the way through. One of them I recently got enthusiastic about again, but I nearly cried when I re-read the first few chapters. They were shit. I’ve convinced myself to move past that - that’s a problem for second draft Lyndsay - and just write the damn thing.

I’ve got a couple of first drafts that need transcribing so I can upload them - Wicked Boys, which is my current baby, Golden Prince, and Living the Dream (shit, I need to be writing that like now, so I can upload tomorrow...)

I’ve got a Drarry novel which might ACTUALLY turn into an epic re-write of the entire HP series, oops. I’m only on book 1 as well, so... it’s getting there?

There’s a short story I promised my daughter, too, I should really prioritise that...

Oh, yeah, I forgot about Zero Degrees! I have a few extra chapters to add, and a bunch of edits, but I’m hoping to publish that next year

I have too many WIPs!

4. What are your favourite places to write?

I write my first drafts in notebooks (literally because I like buying pretty notebooks...) so I actually end up writing in some lovely places, like a hill where I walk my dog! My dedicated writing place is in a golf club cafe I go to after my karate lesson (random, know), they make the best BLT baguettes, and the old dudes there tease me and ask me when I’m going to write a book about them

5. Do you prefer to write with long hand or type? Or some other method?

If it’s something long I usually write in a notebook, because I kinda like having physical evidence of the VOLUME of shit I write! Also I really like pretty notebooks. Also also, it forces me to finish a first draft - I can’t edit as easily as I can on a laptop. And then when I type it up it forces me to second draft it, I spot things that don’t flow better than if I was just reading through

6. Do you remember your first character? If so can we meet them?

Yes! I used to write stories and pass them around my school, and the first one I wrote was about a girl who lived as a stowaway in a container ship like some pre-teen phantom of the opera on the fucking ocean! I actually don’t know if I ever finished the story, but she was trippy. First story I know for sure that I finished was about a bus crash where one girl nearly dies and her body is taken over by an angel so she can heal. It’s mostly from the POV of the boy who had a crush on her and who goes slightly crazy noticing the similarities and differences between this girl’s character before and after. I mean that was trippy AF too, I’m not even sure what was going on there... I was clearly a little edgelord already...

7. Where do you get your inspiration?

I really don’t know, half the time. Daydreaming. Something will set me off and I’ll take tangent after tangent until BAM, I’m re-writing the story of how my great-grandfather walked half way across Kenya with a donkey and a wooden leg, only now he’s gay and he and his Masai friend rescue a kid from an abusive household.

8. Do you outline a story before writing it, or does it all live in your head until the first draft gets put down?

So much outline. The reason being, I have so many random ideas that if I started all of them I’d go crazy. So instead I have a book full of tangled mind-maps (my header photo is an example), and once they’re outlined there, they can hibernate for years before I get started, but they don’t go away. If I just let them live in my head I’d lose them! I also have a book dedicated to doing character notes, like backstories and random bits of info that will probably never make it into the story but which give me a good idea of who the person is before I try to write them - otherwise they tend to be a bit two dimensional. @salamanderink gave me that idea by asking me loads of questions about some of my Zero Degrees characters!

9. Where do you go/ What do you do when you’re feeling stuck?

I just leave it alone, write something else or absolutely nothing. I don’t try to push it any more. I think I used to, because I was scared of losing momentum, but now I’ve got this backlog of ideas, I know that if I ever run out of inspiration at least I’ve got starting points for loads of new ones! I don’t know if that’ll change in the future, but it seems to be OK for right now. I sometimes change and do a bit of drawing for a while instead, that usually loosens me up

10. What got you started writing/doing Art? (Because I always love origin stories)

I’ve kept a diary since I was 6 or so, on and off, but consistently since I was 11. That just sort of turned into me writing stories, somehow. I remember writing in my diary ‘nothing interesting ever happens so I’m going to write down my daydreams until I get a boyfriend or something’. Then IDK, some of the kids a couple of years below me in high school found some of my stories, and asked if they could share them around, and I started sewing them up to hand out - I’ve still got all of them! Some of them were fucking dark...

We had a talk by an author one day, and he asked if anyone wanted to be a professional writer. I put my hand up (and got teased by the assholes in my class afterwards, because apparently the boys in my class were actual baby boomers and didn’t think writing was a real job - like mate, you’re 15, what do you care?!) but this dude looked at me with a super intense expression and said ‘never stop writing’. So I didn’t. And I self-pub my original stuff, and get my regular dose of validation on AO3, and writing is my most effective coping mechanism. Tadaa!

Tagging @slytherinvalues, @turned-her-brain, @salamanderink, @elizabethhollowswriting and @soz or whoever else wants to do this and needs to procrastinate as much as I do ;)

#writing about writing

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project-ml · 6 years

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Project: Calendar 2018 — May Flowers and Garden Bugs (MAY)

may flowers and garden bugs

Written By: @breeeliss | Ao3

Beta’d By: @the-bored-bookworm | Ao3 & @krzed | Ao3

Word Count: 3685

Summary: “Did you know it’s always good luck for someone to have ladybugs and bees in their garden? They make a really great team without even realizing it. That’s why I knew from the moment you joined us that you and I were going to make a great team. I still think that.”

Two teammates have a heart-to-heart tucked away under the cover of Marinette’s rooftop garden.

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Tags: Chloé Bourgeois&Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Friendship, Beginnings of Romance, Bee Tendencies, Ladybug Tendences, Bug Tendencies, Springtime, Flowers, Rooftop Gardens, Aftermath of Reveal, Heart-to-Heart, Fluff, ML Spoilers

It started when Chloe began adding honey to her tea.

Normally, Chloe took her tea and her coffee black. It made no sense ruining expensive imported tea leaves and coffee beans by adding sweeteners that would dull the taste. But one day she was standing in the kitchen while her tea was steeping and eyed the jar of honey sitting in the cabinet. She didn’t know what came over her, but she added three whole tablespoons of the stuff into her mug and actually enjoyed the oversaturated taste after she’d done it.

She chalked it up to a momentary sweet tooth after checking her period tracker and assuming she was just getting weird midnight cravings. But there was one afternoon when she decided to go for a swim in the pool on the roof’s hotel and realized that being in the water felt wrong to her. Like it wasn’t really what she wanted to be doing all the way up here on the top floor of the hotel, which was strange because Chloe used to absolutely adore staying in the water until her skin pruned. Then, as she was toweling off, Chloe eyed the stone railings on the edge of the roof and suddenly felt this strange compulsion to stare out over the edge.

Chloe wound up climbing on top of the railings, letting her legs dangle over the edge, shutting her eyes, and holding her arms out to greet the breeze that was blowing in her direction. She could feel the great distance from the sidewalks below to the tips of her toes, and when she tipped her head back far enough, it almost felt like she was flying. Suddenly, she felt perfectly content, like something had finally been righted and satisfied.

By the time she started sneaking flower pots from the living room and hoarding them in her bedroom, Chloe decided that there was something severely wrong with her.

“Oh, it happens occasionally to some miraculous holders,” Pollen explained while Chloe stuck another spoonful of honey in her mouth. “Your powers are so intimately linked with the essence of the animal your miraculous stone represents that sometimes things can...bleed over, so to speak.”

Chloe raised a brow. “So what, am I going to start building beehives in my room and recruiting a colony of drones and workers?”

Pollen laughed. “Nothing like that, I promise. Most of the side effects are rather harmless and easy to ignore or get used to. Your honey cravings are about as inconvenient as they’ll get.”

“Inconvenient is an understatement. I’m pretty sure my butler thinks I’m a freak after asking him to add ten extra jars of honey to his shopping list. I’m going to have to start taking spinning classes or something. Burn off the extra calories.”

“You’ll be just fine,” Pollen giggled. “Past miraculous holders have told me the side effects get easier to manage with time, you just have to be patient. I’m sure your teammates have to deal with this as well. Ladybug might actually be particularly sympathetic to what you’re going through.”

Chloe blinked thoughtfully at the mention of Marinette and spoke around her spoon. “Why would you say that?”

“There are a lot of things that ladybugs and bees have in common,” Pollen winked. “Besides, it might be a good way to start a conversation with her.”

Chloe frowned and turned her chair away from Pollen. “Not happening.”

“Chloe,” Pollen sighed. “You can’t keep avoiding her forever. It’s been a month. The two of you ought to talk about this. You’re friends, after all.”

“Ladybug and Queen Bee are friends,” Chloe calmly corrected. “Chloe and Marinette aren’t. It isn’t as easy as you make it seem.”

It was almost laughable that after being so meticulously careful about keeping their identities a secret, Queen Bee and Ladybug would reveal them to each other over something as silly as flying into the same alleyway to detransform on accident. It was so anticlimactic that it took Chloe a few seconds to even register who was staring back at her, and by that time it was definitely too late to play it off like she hadn’t seen anything. Nothing had been communicated between them — only the silent understanding between two superheroes that this was something that needed to remain a secret for their own safety — and they walked off in opposite directions to create as much distance between them as possible.

Patrols were awkward, akuma attacks were awful, and their fighting and bickering during school hours had come to an abrupt halt once the two of them realized that their relationship had become ten times more complicated and that they didn’t know how to begin talking about it. So they settled with civil silence that somehow seemed to make things worse the longer it lasted.

But Chloe admired Ladybug with her entire soul. How was she supposed to talk to her now that she knew she was the same person she’d been butting heads with since they were eleven?

Pollen kept saying they needed to discuss what happened, that revealing identities to each other wasn’t anything to trivialize, but Chloe wasn’t trying to do anything of the sort. Every time she stared at Marinette from across the classroom or saw her walking by her desk, she’d think this was the moment she could say something. But whenever they made eye contact, Chloe would shrivel back inside herself and decide to say nothing. Seeing any animosity from Marinette at this point would feel like it was coming straight from Ladybug. Chloe didn’t think she could handle Ladybug looking at her like she was disappointed to know who had her back all these months when they were out risking their lives. Better to just not say anything and hope it would blow over on its own.

The next morning, Chloe shocked her driver into silence when she said that she preferred to walk to school rather than take the car. There was something criminal about not enjoying the warm weather, the flowers sprouting from the cracks in the sidewalk, and people poking their heads out of their apartment windows to water their windowsill gardens flourishing in the sunlight. Better than all of that was the cloudless sky hanging above Chloe’s head — vibrant, beautiful, and blue. It made her wish she could transform and go for a fly around the city.

But by the time she was halfway through second period, her entire mood flipped around. She felt agitated and tetchy, so much so that her leg was bouncing uncontrollably and it was too hard to bother focusing on the lesson. She wanted to be outside. Being in here was maddening and it was making her feel like she was shut in a cramped box with no way out. Chloe wondered if this was another side effect because she wasn’t normally this fidgety during class. At one point, she had to lay her head down on her desk and try to imagine the walk to school to get her brain to stop fixating on the next moment when she’d get to be outside again.

It wasn’t until Chloe felt a tap on her shoulder that she snapped her head up and realized class was finally over, everyone filtering out of the classroom and chatting about their lunch plans. She rubbed her eyes, looked to her left, and saw Marinette standing by her desk, staring at her worriedly. Chloe instinctively leaned away from her and contemplated quickly slipping out of her seat and putting as much distance between the two of them as possible. But Marinette held up a finger as she dug into her backpack and pulled out a stem of purple, bell shaped flowers.

“Here,” Marinette offered. “You looked like you were losing your mind during class.”

Chloe eyed the flowers suspiciously. “Are you hitting on me or something?”

“No,” Marinette glared. “Just….trust me. Take it. It’ll help. A few whiffs oughta do it.”

It was the first time they’d spoken in weeks, but if Marinette was willing to give Chloe an out by starting a conversation herself, she supposed it was worth it to at least play along. She took the stem of flowers and held them up to her nose, feeling a pleasant shiver run through her body as she inhaled deeply. It was like all of the muscles in her body relaxed and her anxiety from earlier had dissipated as the beautiful fragrance took over her senses.

“Oh my God,” Chloe sighed out. “What is this stuff?”

“Foxgloves,” Marinette laughed. “I checked online, they’re supposed to be really good for attracting bees.”

“Excuse me?”

“Spring is tough,” Marinette sympathized. “It’s hard to be indoors because you just wanna sprint outside and throw yourself in a bed of flowers. Carrying flowers or wearing some floral perfume helps a little bit, but it doesn’t beat the real thing.”

Chloe frowned as she took a few of the flowers and tucked them behind her ear. “Wait, how did you know?”

“I was watching you,” she admitted. “I recognized the signs, I used to get like that right after I got my miraculous too. I figured I’d give you an olive branch and help you out. Or….a foxglove sprig. Same difference.”

Chloe swallowed and finished packing up her books, carefully going along with their tentative camaraderie. “Thanks,” she mumbled. “I’m still trying to figure out how to deal with all this crap. I keep swallowing honey like it’ll kill me if I don’t.”

Marinette snorted. “Yeah, well, I stop just short of hibernating in the winter time. We just have to roll with it.”

“Yeah, lucky us. I’ll just have to walk around with a garden growing out of my bag so that I don’t throw myself out the window for the rest of the school year. No big deal.”

Marinette bit on her lip and balanced on the tips of her toes. “You, uh….have any lunch plans?”

“No. Why?”

“Mind if I show you something? It’s at my house so it’s not far, but it might make you feel better.”

“You’re….inviting me to your house,” Chloe stated as if she were trying to determine if she’d heard her correctly. “You sure about that?”

Marinette winced and looked down at her feet. “I figured….or I hoped that we could also talk for a bit. I mean, you obviously don’t have to, but it’s hard to keep avoiding each other when we literally have to work together almost every day.”

Chloe stayed in her seat and kept her bag hugged close to her chest. “We don’t talk. We never did.”

“That’s not true,” Marinette replied. “We’ve been talking since you got that hair comb. We’re talking right now. Nothing’s exploding.”

“It should be. I’m not just your partner or your friend anymore.”

Marinette opened her mouth and looked like she was about to refute the point, but she swallowed it back when she finally realized that not even her optimism could erase the truth of that statement. Their dynamic was a lot more complicated now and they needed to be up front about that. She remained silent, so Chloe took that as her cue to start making her way towards the door. But Marinette caught her hand before she could leave.

“If you’re not ready to talk we don’t have to,” Marinette promised. “We don’t have to say a word. But….please come over? I have something that’ll work better than one little flower stem. It’ll give you enough relief to last you through the rest of the school day, I promise. I just want to help you.”

“I’ll be fine,” Chloe insisted.

“Please? I’m asking as Ladybug.”

Chloe dipped her head and chuckled. “God, that’s such a low blow.”

Marinette shrugged. “Worth a shot.”

There were a lot of ways Chloe could imagine this going wrong, but she was starting to feel the irritability of being stuck indoors coming back despite the flowers in her hair, so perhaps it was best to defer to an expert on this one. She adjusted the strap of her bag and gestured to the doorway of the classroom. “Alright, bug. I’ll bite.”

As promised, Marinette didn’t try and initiate any sort of conversation as they made their way across the street towards her apartment above the bakery. It wasn’t until they were climbing to the top floor of the four story walk up that Chloe noticed how many flowers Marinette was keeping on her today. They were poking out of her purse and out of her backpack, woven into the bracelets she was wearing, and sewn into the hair clip that was holding all of her hair in a bun on top of her head.

Chloe sort of remembered Marinette having a thing for flowers last Spring, but attributed it to just a strange fashion statement. It wasn’t until now that she recognized it for the coping mechanism that it was. It made Marinette seem like this calming, walking garden that gave Chloe a small shred of peace if she stayed close to it. She sneakily plucked a pink flower from the side pocket of Marinette’s bag and wrapped it around her index finger, bringing it up to her nose and smiling at the immediate satisfaction it brought her.

Marinette brought Chloe up to her bedroom and told her to leave her shoes by the trapdoor while she climbed on top of her bed and pushed open the hatch to her skylight. Chloe gave her an odd stare, but Marinette didn’t seem to notice it as she ushered Chloe out to her balcony. She grumbled complaints under her breath as she squeezed through the hatch and hoisted herself up onto the small balcony, but all of her annoyance flew right out of her mind as she looked around her.

Lining the railings of Marinette’s balcony were dozens of pots, vases, hanging baskets, and glass jam jars filled with with potted flowers that made the space look like a miniature rooftop garden with a marvellous view of the sky stretching over Paris to boot. There were so many flowers and leaves practically spilling out of their containers, wrapping around the handrails, and crawling along the brick of the building that Chloe was overwhelmed by the smell of them all. But it was such a lovely smell, and Chloe felt a smile break out on her face as she closed her eyes, gulped in a huge breath of air, and let the beauty of Marinette’s small garden fill her all the way up to her toes.

She opened her eyes to find Marinette sitting cross legged on an old quilt that she’d laid out in the middle of the floor, presumably so that she could lay out and stare up at all the flowers growing around her. “You like it?” she asked with a grin.

Chloe reached out and brushed her thumb along the petals of a bundle of yellow flowers that were hanging from the railing and tickling her cheek. “How long did this take you?”

“A few weeks,” Marinette said. “I started saving up my babysitting money to get a few flowers. Also made a little deal with the florist next door for some flowers in exchange for free baguettes from the bakery. He helped me do a little research on which were the best ones to get.”

“Best ones?”

“So all the ones on the right over there are cosmos, yarrows, marigolds, and angelicas. Apparently ladybugs really like them. I think there are a few sitting on the petals.”

Chloe crawled closer and indeed saw several ladybugs milling about on the leaves of some of the flowers. “What about the ones on the other side?”

“Uh, more foxgloves, calendulas, crocuses, heliotropes, and some lavender. Those are great for bees actually,” Marinette smiled, watching Chloe reach out and pull a pot of flowers closer to her so that she could see the honeybee hiding in the petals. “I’ve got bees buzzing around here all the time.”

“Why do you have flowers here for attracting bees?”

Marinette shrugged. “I, uh….sort of always meant to invite you to sit here with me. Well, you as in Queen Bee. But I guess it’s easier to show you this now that we know about each other.”

Chloe bit her lip and saw the way Marinette hugged her knees to her chest to make herself look smaller, realizing she’d brought up the taboo topic they promised not to discuss. Chloe was tempted to leave it at that, but something about being outside with all of these flowers made her feel less scared. Or perhaps it was Marinette’s kindness in sharing something like this with her. She wouldn’t have done something like this if she hated Chloe, right? Surely this was something that could be seen as a show of good faith? Proof that there was no disappointment, no anger, no malice.

Chloe jutted her chin towards the blanket. “Can I sit with you?”

“Sure,” Marinette agreed, scooching over to make room for her. “Take this side.”

They both wound up laying on their backs side by side as they stared up at the plants dangling over their heads and twisting around every surface of the balcony. It was like a tiny slice of heaven tucked away in a small corner of the city, and the charm of it all made Chloe brave as she opened her mouth first. “I should’ve been more careful. About the detransformation thing. That was my fault.”

“It’s just as much my fault,” Marinette said, shaking her head. “Accidents happen. Now we just have to be careful to keep it a secret. It’s probably best if Chat Noir and Rena Rouge don’t know.”

“Makes sense,” Chloe said. She folded her hands on her stomach and sighed. “I thought you hated me.”

“Why would I hate you?”

Chloe snorted. “Are you seriously asking me that?”

Marinette relented the point with a short laugh. “Okay. Fair. But I never hated you. I was….confused by you. I wasn’t sure what I did to you to make you hate me so much.”

“I never hated you either. You were grating.”

“How is that different?”

“Because things came easily to you,” Chloe said. “I remember when you first became Ladybug. You caught onto things pretty quick. That’s because you’re a natural at literally everything. And it’s annoying. Because most people have to work at that stuff and you’re just good at it. Good at making friends, good at balancing your life, good at being a superhero. It pissed me off. Still does.”

“And what?” Marinette asked. “You’re not a good superhero?”

Chloe gave her a deadpanned stare. “You’re Ladybug. No one’s as good a superhero as you.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “Don’t give me that. You’re a marvelous superhero. You take your job seriously, you care about civilians, and you want to do the right thing. Getting used to your powers isn’t as important as having the heart for the job and you have so much heart. And knowing that it’s you with all of that passion and heart is….really sweet to see. It made me realize that there was more to you than I was letting myself see. Like, maybe you’re not as awful as I thought you were if you’re the same Queen Bee I trust with my life.”

“I mean, how was I not going to put my all into this?” Chloe commented. “I adored you. You were everything I wanted to be and couldn’t figure out how to be. The minute I got a chance to prove myself to you, I practically sprinted for it. I’m still sprinting for it, probably harder than I was before. It messes me up to think of you being angry with me.”

“Me Marinette, or me Ladybug?”

Chloe shrugged. “There isn’t a difference between the two of you anymore.”

Marinette stayed silent for a few moments and then crawled her hand across the blanket until it was covering Chloe’s own. Chloe flinched away from the contact, but was prevented from pulling her hand back when Marinette gripped her fingers in her hand. “Did you know it’s always good luck for someone to have ladybugs and bees in their garden? It’s because they work together to pollinate flowers and keep garden pests away. They make a really great team without even realizing it.” Marinette turned her head to face Chloe and waited until their eyes met. “I knew from the moment you joined us that you and I were going to make a great team. I still think that. Even after knowing what I know. I know things have always been rough between us, but I at least wanted you to know that.”

Chloe’s face softened as she marvelled at the sincerity in Marinette’s eyes. “That means a lot. Seriously.”

“I mean every word,” Marinette promised.

Chloe sighed. “I’m….trying to be better. For you and for everyone else. Getting these powers makes me want to put the work in, and it matters to me a lot. It’s not gonna make up for how much garbage I’ve dished out to you over the years but at least it’s a start. Or that’s what I’m telling myself now.”

Marinette squeezed her hand again and this time Chloe squeezed back, a warmth growing in her cheeks that was due partly to happiness and partly to another feeling whirling in her chest that she didn’t have the words to name. “I appreciate that.”

Chloe grinned and drummed her fingers against her stomach. “You hungry yet?”

Marinette shut her eyes and turned her face to the sun. “Nah, we can stay here for a bit. I want to enjoy the flowers for a bit longer. That okay with you, bee?”

“Whatever you say, bug,” Chloe teased, keeping Marinette’s hand in hers and feeling the air between them clear out for the first time in years.

#themlgroup #miraculous ladybug #chloe bourgeois #marinette dupain cheng #friendship #beginnings of romance #bee tendencies #ladybug tendencies #bug tendencies #springtime #flowers #rooftop gardens #aftermath of reveal #heart-to-heart #fluff #ml spoilers #project: calendar 2018

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brin-guivera · 7 years

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It Chapter 1: Review

Well guys, I’m just back from seeing IT (for the second time) at the cinema and I think I have organized my thoughts enough to type out a coherent review.

I have been looking forward to this movies for years. It’s absolutely true – the movie has been in development hell for at least seven years and has gone through many iterations (and a couple of directorial and cast changes) but was finally, FINALLY, released in theatres on Friday. Was it worth waiting for? HELL YES. Was it a faithful adaptation? Mostly. Was it perfect? Nope, but I doubt anything would live up to my sky-high expectations.

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we…

it: the beginning

I first read IT by Stephen King when I was little more than a nipper. ‘Tis true, I was (barely) twelve years old when I first read King’s masterpiece and it absolutely scared the ever-living-shit out of me. Sorry for the colourful language but in this case I believe it to be completely justified.

IT is without a shadow of a doubt, one of the most if not THE most terrifying books I have ever read. Seriously, I had to sleep with the light on for about two months afterwards. I was in no way easily frightened as a kid either. I loved horror (both in books and movies) and had an impressive constitution when it came to scares… or so I thought at least.

IT changed everything for me. I really related to the characters (who were roughly around the same age as I was during the flashback portions of the book) as I was bullied as a pre-teen and they felt real to me in ways a lot of other book characters didn’t.

I read IT over the span of a few days and although it definitely had a few WTF moments (the *ahem* orgy sequence where the kids move from childhood to adulthood by indulging in a bit of underage sex – yep, you read that right) but overall it was a fairly realistic depiction of childhood.

These kids were losers like I was. They were bullied and ignored like I was. I related heavily to them and the trials they go through and although I was never pursued by a child-eating malevolent creature (that I am aware of anyway) their transition to young adulthood felt about as turbulent as my own.

IT was a revelation to me. Although the adult portion of the novel was slightly less relatable to me, I still enjoyed seeing the characters mature and face their demons.

it: the miniseries

Not too long after reading the book, I discovered the television adaptation which I also really enjoyed even though it never quite reached the heights of the book for me.

Tim Curry was a tour de force as Pennywise and I very much enjoyed the kids section of the miniseries although the less said about the adult portion, the better. I am in no way dissing the adult actors (they really did their best to add some gravitas to the proceedings) but the storyline for their half of the tale was disappointingly scripted and veered on the camp rather than scary.

Although it was clearly limited by budgetary constraints, it was a satisfactory adaptation if not completely faithful to the original novel. Even then though, I often wondered what could be accomplished with a movie version rather than a somewhat sanitized TV adaptation. I would wait a long time for this vision to be realized.

it: development hell

As I mentioned above, the movie lingered in development hell for years. Originally, True Detective creator Cary Fukunaga was signed on to direct (he still has a scriptwriter credit) and I was intrigued by what he would bring to the table especially as he had casted Will Poulter (an actor whose career that I have followed since he was a young ‘un) as Pennywise.

After some disagreements with New Line, the studio funding the project, Fukunaga stepped aside and it looked as though the movie would never come to fruition. Luckily, Mama director Andrés Muschietti felt up to the challenge of taking on the immense role of adapting this monster of a book into a workable film.

it: the movie

Now, finally we come to the movie itself. Muschietti has brought a brand new vision to IT. From what I can gather, it is fairly different to Fukunaga’s original concept. It added in a lot more of the book and is overall a more faithful adaptation.

But, the age-old question remains, is IT any good?

Well, I am happy to report that IT is a pretty damn good movie in its own right. A lot of the elements from the book are retained and the changes such as moving the setting from the 1950s to the 1980s (and cashing in on the trend that the 80s is cool again that Stranger Things had going for it) works for the most part.

The movie opens with the iconic sequence of young Georgie Denbrough pestering his older brother Bill for a boat to sail in the storm that has kept him stuck indoors. This instantly sets the tone and the interplay between the two brothers is both dynamic and realistic. This then makes the following scene where young Georgie becomes IT’s first victim all the more heart-breaking.

The movie then shifts on to approximately eight months later, where the kids are finishing up school for the long-awaited summer holidays and making plans. For Bill Denbrough and his three young chums Eddie Kaspbrak, Stan Uris, and Richie Tozier – this means starting the search for Georgie whom Bill is convinced is still alive and alone and hurt somewhere within the town sewer system.

Their search will lead them to fellow outsiders Ben Hanscom, Beverley Marsh and Mike Hanlon and the seven of them form the ‘Losers Club’ who band together to not only try to ascertain what has happened to Georgie but to also find the other missing children of Derry. One by one, each of them will come to realize that there is a menace far beyond the uncaring adults and psychopathic bullies that dog them, that there is something far more evil in the town of Derry and IT is hungry…

The kid actors in the movie are beyond fantastic. They are such a great group and they really do feel like friends. There is a slight Stand by Me vibe at times which really works to the movie’s benefit. I was very impressed by Sophia Lillis who plays the young Beverley Marsh and Finn Wolfhard who plays Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier (my favourite character from the book incidentally) but they were all excellent.

I was actually most concerned about Bill Skarsgård being able to convincingly pull off Pennywise (especially after the always-amazing Tim Curry) but I needn’t have worried because he brought a whole new meaning to word ‘terrifying’. He wasn’t Tim Curry but didn’t try to be which definitely was the right choice. He made the role his own.

The story was tweaked in places and there were some changes, but overall it retained the feel of the book which I think is much more important than being a direct word-for-word, scene-for-scene adaptation.

I thoroughly enjoyed IT and after viewing it a second time round, think it is definitely a contender for my favourite movie of the year. I am keeping my fingers crossed that it is successful enough that to warrant Chapter 2 (which is wholly contingent on the success of Chapter 1 unfortunately).

it: some other thoughts

Now, I have a theory *that it’s a demon, a dancing demon… gotta throw in a Buffy reference now and again dontcha know!* that there is a good reason why Sophia Lillis was cast as Beverley, she really looks like a young Amy Adams. Could it be that Muschietti is maybe courting Amy to play the elder Beverley Marsh?

A particular scene in IT where the creepy pharmacist likens the young lass to Lois Lane (played by Amy Adams in the latest adaptation of Superman) could perhaps lend credence to this theory. Or it could just be me spit-balling wildly here but I think I may be on to something…

This movie didn’t have as many allusions to other Stephen King works like The Dark Tower movie did, but it certainly made up for that with a lot of 80s nostalgia such as the Gremlins and Beetlejuice posters on one of the characters bedroom walls and Nightmare on Elm Street 5 playing at the local theatre in the film.

They also managed to squeeze in a reference to the Turtle that plays a role in the book (though wisely, not in this movie as it would probably be a bit too fantastical and that it is taking into account that IT literally is about a killer clown from outer space!) and where would an 80s-themed movie be without a New Kids on the Block appearance??

it: some fun facts

Fun fact 1: the Duffer brothers wanted to direct IT once upon a time but were deemed too inexperienced. They later would go on to create the genre savvy Stranger Things which was an unexpected hit.

Fun fact 2: IT shares a cast member with Stranger Things in young Finn Wolfhard who plays wise-cracking Richie in the film.

Fun fact 3: The entity IT makes an appearance every 27 years where it gorges itself on children (literally feeding itself on their fear) and goes into a sort-of hibernation until the next cycle is up. The miniseries was released in 1990. The movie has been released in 2017 – exactly 27 years later. Spooky coincidence? I think not…

Fun fact 4: The only cast member to have been cast in both the unfilmed Fukunaga version and Muschietti finished movie was Finn Wolfhard.

Fun fact 5: The scenes where Pennywise’s eyes move in different directions was not aided by CGI – actor Bill Skarsgård is actually able to do this. Also, the scene where Pennywise unfolds himself from a refrigerator was also Skarsgård; on set he was given training by a professional contortionist in order to perform the scene himself. Dude really does go ‘method’ to get the right result!

Fun fact 6: Stephen King fully endorsed the film – he saw an early screening and gave the project his approval.

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quicksilver-rain · 7 years

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The Bee Mariner (p.7)

“I should have know it was you.” (It was always you)

It’s fairly warm, despite the fact that it’s very nearly approaching winter, and Trixie is standing out in the middle of a field that’s usually bursting with wildflowers, watching smoke rise into the sky. It’s her day off, and usually she lazes in bed for a few hours before going shopping for the week’s groceries, but today she’s woken up early and has made the snap decision to set something on fire and make s’mores. Well, it’s either that or take apart the toaster, and Sierra threatened her with a wickedly sharp chef’s knife last time Trixie got the urge to dismantle their kitchen appliances.

It’s not a very hard decision, even if Trixie doesn’t think Sierra has the guts to actually commit to homicide.

She shakes her head and looks out across the aforementioned field. The flowers are dying and there aren’t many bees around, despite the fact that Sierra’s told her that the little bastards won’t go into hibernation until around the first frost. There’s something sad and lonely about the whole thing, like the field and dying flowers stretch out forever and she’s the only person around for miles and all this smoke and fire is all just an attempt to prove to herself that she isn’t alone.

Sierra would say she’s got a poet’s soul. Trixie would argue that winter’s depressing.

Either way, she shakes the thoughts away, looking down at her more smoke-than-fire flirtation with arson, breathing in hickory scented smoke and turning over her marshmallows before they can burn.

“I should have known it was you.”

The sound of another human being makes her jump, and the feeling that there’s more to the blase statement rubs her the wrong way.

Trixie turns to find Nix standing by the gate she’d climbed to get into the field wearing a puffy vest in lieu of a proper jacket, hands in the pockets of his jeans as he studies her. There’s a large, wrinkly dog standing next to him without a lead, watching her silently. He looks amused and she can’t help the way the corner of her mouth ticks upward.

“You mean I’m not the only thing you think of?” she asks, watching as he laughs and rolls his eyes, removing his hands from his pockets and hopping the fence in one fluid movement while the dog crawls under the beams a few feet away.

He stops beside her and the dog stops beside him, both watching as she crouches down and removes her marshmallows from the fire to make a pair of s’mores. Trixie’s immediately endeared by the look of surprise that flickers over Nix’s face when she offers one to him. He accepts it and takes a bite, somehow not getting all sticky in the process, “are you bribing me?”

She lifts her eyebrows and takes a bite from her own s’more instead of answering right away. Her face gets all sticky, but she brought a pack of wet wipes for exactly this eventuality, so she ignores it, “should I be?”

Nix directs his attention elsewhere for a moment popping the rest of the s’more in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully before looking back at her. “Technically, you’re trespassing on my property,” he offers, though he doesn’t sound like he’s going to tell her to pack her shit and go.

Trixie laughs, “am I? I don’t see your name on it.”

He actually reaches for her then, pausing to let her push him away and placing a hand on her shoulder when she doesn’t. He pulls her around better face the gate they both climbed over, gesturing at a sign tacked to one of the posts that she ignored but probably states that Nix Nightingale owns this field and please stay out of it without permission.

Trixie smiles up at him, looking back and resting her head on his shoulder, since he hasn’t let go of her yet, “you gonna charge me?”

Nix laughs again and drops his hands, returning them to his pockets. Trixie straightens and stays close enough that their arms are brushing. “No, but your fire’s smoking out my bees. They need to finish stocking up for winter, or I’ll end up having to feed them soda syrup.” He somehow pronounces the ‘y’ in syrup and Trixie wants to laugh as she reaches down to feed the dog a marshmallow.

Instead she looks down to study her makeshift fire pit, it’s small and surrounded by bricks she’s stolen from the pile out near their back door, an empty reminder of that time her father decided to make a walkway from the back door to the front door before promptly getting too wrapped up in painting to actually finish the project. She looks back up at her companion and thinks that her father would like to paint him, too. He looks so stark and enigmatic against the cloudy grey sky that even Trixie wants to give it a try, and the best she can do is smudgy pencil drawings of engine parts.

She mentally shakes herself.

“You feed them soda syrup?” she asks, genuinely curious about bees for the first time in her life.

He nods, and then shakes his head as if he can’t make up his mind, “it’s sugar water, actually, and I try not to if I can’t help it.” He pauses to watch the dog chew on it’s marshmallow. There’s drool everywhere and Trixie notices that he hasn’t actually told her to put out her fire yet. “I will if they can’t make enough honey to last the winter, though.” He gestures at the smoke the fire’s belching into the sky.

Trixie shoves the rest of her treat in her mouth and leans down to grab the bucket of water she’d collected from one of the many water pumps dotting the surrounding area. She dumps it on the meagre flames with very little preamble, thinking maybe she should have put up more of a fight as she waves her hand in front of her face when more smoke pours from the little fire pit when the water hits it. She coughs a little and debates stamping out the rest of the embers, but Nix hasn’t made a move to leave and she actually sort of likes the company.

At least it keeps her from getting all philosophical and morose.

Silence filters between them for a few seconds while they watch the smoke die and it takes effort for Trixie to look back over at him, “hey.”

He blinks, as if some spell’s been broken and directs his attention back at her, “what’s that?”

She bites her lip and says the first thing that pops into her head, “is Nix your real name?”

He barks out a laugh that leads Trixie to believe that whatever he’d been expecting, that isn’t it. “Yeah, yeah. It’s an old family name on my mother’s side, but I think she named me Nix to spite my father.” He looks amused and sad and Trixie feels terrible. “Apparently she bribed the nurses in the maternity ward to fill out my birth certificate before my father had the chance to name me something halfway decent.”

“I’m sorry,” she doesn’t know what else to say.

He smiles in a way that screams that something’s eating at him. “Don’t be. They’d be divorced if it weren’t for the clauses in their marriage-contract.” His smile falters a bit and then he shrugs, “sometimes, I’m surprised they haven’t killed each other, much less that they had me.”

This makes Trixie stare, because her father loved her mother, and still loves her mother so much that it hurts them both some days and Trixie can’t imagine having two parents, much less two parents that hate each other. She heaves a sigh and tries for nonchalance, “probably so they could give you that god-awful name and turn you loose on the world.”

He smiles again, still feral, like always, but more genuine than the last one. “It’s pretty bad, isn’t it?”

Trixie nods, even though she thinks it fits him, and silence falls a second time.

“What did you think my real name was?”

She thinks for a moment, trying to recall a conversation she had when she was half asleep and dizzy from sleep-aides. “I don’t know. Nathan, maybe… or Joseph?” She lifts her shoulders, “Gabriel?”

“God, anything but Gabriel, please,” and then he laughs a lot harder than Trixie expects him to, given that she’s just all but told him she thinks his name is stupid. She even laughs a little bit herself, because Nix doesn’t look anything like a Gabriel and she’s not sure why she ever thought he did in the first place.

The dog presses its wet and sticky face into her hand, looking for more marshmallows, no doubt. She crouches to pet its face, jumping when it ducks its head so she can’t scratch behind it’s ears.

“You’ve got to go under his head,” Nix offers, watching her try to pet his dog like she’s something precious, “he can’t see your hand if you go over, because of his wrinkles.”

Trixie does as she’s told and ends up nearly getting bowled over by the dog as he pushes closer to her. ��What’s his name, then?”

“Socrates,” Nix answers, watching the dog look back at the sound of his name, before going back to trying to climb into Trixie’s lap.

She laughs, “it looks like terrible naming practices run in the family.”

“Nah,” he answers, still content to watch her pet his dog, “Socrates is a real philosopher, aren’t you, boy?”

Trixie gives in and sits on the ground, letting Socrates climb into her lap so she can lavish more attention on him, “what’s he philosophise about?”

Nix is quiet for a long moment, and Trixie nearly thinks she might have bested him in a battle of wits she didn’t know they were having. Then he smiles and says, “who’s a good boy?”

She laughs, even though it’s a stupid joke, and Nix smiles again.

Eventually, they quiet down and the smoke has died, there are no more embers glowing on the ground and it looks like they’re going to go their separate ways.

“I’ve got a fire pit in my back yard, if you want to make s’mores again,” Nix says, taking Trixie by surprise. She looks over Socrates’ head at him and he points toward the woods that surround the field, “you know where Longwood Drive turns into a dirt road? If you follow it half a mile down and take a left at the first fork, you’ll eventually get to my place. You don’t have to ask permission or anything, just knock on the door in case someone’s home, so you don’t scare the shit out of Mossy or something. Socrates knows you now, so he won’t be a problem.”

Trixie smiles up at him and takes his hand when he offers it down to her, shooing Socrates off her lap so she can stand.

“I might just have to take you up on that offer.”

He chuckles, “I knew you would.”

#the blue mariner #bee au #quicksilver writes things occasionally

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shadowsong26fic · 7 years

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Coming Attractions

Couple days late, sorry. Then again, when am I not? ^^;;

Fanfic:

Precipice: Still going strong! Still updating weekly (though I’ve admittedly been…less than on time as far as the day goes; might just give in and move the official date to Thursdays) and intend to until this is finished. It’s, uh, long, though. Especially since I have…like…three threads at this point, I might start trying to do double updates on occasion? Or do longer chapters, checking in on the two main overarching threads (i.e., Anakin & Obi-Wan and building the army; Padme & Bail and building the political arm of the Rebellion) every week? With maybe interlude-esque chapters with some of the other stuff going on… Something to ponder. Anyway, that aside, according to my (very vague) outline, I have two or three chapters left in Part 2, and then we move on the Part 3, which has a somewhat spoilery subtitle :D. But I might do a preview of the first sentence or so of the first chapter in it as a teaser over here after I finish posting Part 2. We shall see. (Also, I really need to start crossposting to Tumblr again…)

Masks: I do plan to update this one, I swear. It’s just been…not super easy. I think I mentioned before, I sort of want to skip this whole story and move on to the sequel, but I can’t, because there’s some fairly important setup that needs to actually be shown/explained, can’t just be summarized. I’ll rewatch ANH like five times, maybe then things’ll start actually cooperating…Anyway, tentative goal going forward is to sort of alternate with Distaff--one week I’ll post a chapter of that, one week a chapter of this. As opposed to trying to do both every week. (Especially since I just got a new job and am not sure what my schedule/writing time will look like. :D)

Distaff: Posted again just the other day, woot! Anakin is not in a good headspace right now…Anyway, see above about gameplan for updates. I need to figure out exactly how I’m going to rework most of the rest of ROTS, how her nightmares are going to play out/escalate…also, the plot might go in a slightly…unintended…direction after Palpatine makes his final move, as occurred to me the other night o.O. I’ve got out of order bits and pieces written, and I was rereading a section from fairly late in the story and realized I might be implying/building to a development/character arc/storyline that I’m not sure I want to work with/could write correctly. Guess I’ll see how things go as I get there…

Auxiliaries: I should really start posting this somewhere. Uh. Maybe I’ll start posting bits and pieces of it here? Some of the entry story is mostly ready, but needs a bit of cleaning up, and a name for an NPC. Anyone know how Gran names work?

Phoenix!Verse: Didn’t get anything written this month, because, as I implied above, RL got more hectic than I was expecting. Goal is to start work on that this week.

Serenissima: Not dead. Just…uh…hibernating.

Original:

Well, I hit…one of last month’s goals, technically. I got some research done on my epic historical novel project. I’m not sure how much of it I want to actually draw on, because I need to find a balance between History and Mythology because reasons. I’ll keep working at it. Have another couple books to read through, will do at least one this month. And hopefully start putting some actual text down on either this or Traditional SciFi Novel Project.

Also, post at least three pieces to Rainbowfic. Any applicable universe. Even Institute Files, if anything from there comes out of the primordial soup that is my brain…

#shadowsong26fic #coming attractions #shadowsong writes star wars #shadowsong writes bsg #shadowsong cowrites bsg #shadowsong writes original fiction

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pavosystem · 5 years

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its been a very long time since we did a system roll call. we’ve been kind of distanced from the whole concept of it lately, but even so, i think it’s undeniable that all of these aspects of our collective self hold significance, and are worth tending to. this is callon as guide today.

on a first impression, the grass is much yellower in headspace than usual. maybe because it’s fall in the meatspace, maybe because i’ve been neglecting my internal world.

in the main house, gabbi greets me tiredly. it feels like 2:30am. gabbi implies that ne has a duty to stay awake and take care of everyone, but i wonder if it wouldn’t be better for them to get some rest as well. floret and amelia are sleeping on the couch, curled up into each other. perien, also asleep, is in an armchair nearby, sleeptalking softly.

echo, in her usual chair, blinks at me and goes back to sleep. cilla, in their small form, curled up with echo, does not wake up.

nitexx, surprisingly, seems fairly animated and excited to see me. ze starts speaking quickly, but i can’t quite make out the words.

it’s difficult to know where rayn is, but i don’t think it’s missing. i get the impression that cyrren is tending to it from aer ship at sea. although i can’t quite get to the ship, i can vaguely project in that direction, and cyrren, like gabbi, is tiredly awake, tending to a duty that i don’t fully understand. ae assures me that all is well, that ae hasn’t let anything happen.

while i’m towards the sea, i pass by the vent that leads to ooze ocean’s domain, but it seems to be entirely dormant. i get the sense that vaccine has inherited much of void’s mission, and that gail’s continued worship of void is.. sufficient. void no longer needs to have presence here.

it troubles me to say that i have to check back with our directory to make sure i’m checking in on everyone, and not missing people.

ethan isn’t in the main house, but it’s possible that they’re sleeping, or that they’re visiting the tree house. haze is sitting up in er bed, clutching a fairly intimidating looking sword. e seems like e is preparing for something. staying awake through the long night so that daybreak doesn’t catch em by surprise.

the attic door in nessie’s room is open, and as i climb through it, i can see her, riley, and ceren sleeping on the floor, like high schoolers at a slumber party. they give off the impression that they don’t wish to be disturbed.

at the end of the hallway, remm’s door is glowing in its usual psychadelic ominous way. i’m acutely aware that ve is kin with lotus now. that lotus has always been a manifestation of vir and vir alone.

raliel seems to have gone to the mansion.

all the buildings’ basements seem to be connected now, like burrows of hibernating animals. where the main house used to have a rather unpleasant cellar below the kitchen, it now has a door through vex’s room, which leads to a long corridor, which eventually comes out to vaccine’s office. vaccine greets me with formal displeasure. i apologize for my absence.

vex is hunched over eir desk, and just when i start to think ey’s deeply sleeping, ey complains to me that i had better not write eir off. ey has been very busy, ey says.and i suppose that’s true. it’s unlikely that i could have drawn so much with just my own power.

jace and ginger seem to be one and the same, curled up catlike in their pile of pillows and electronics.

the room behind vex’s room, where venic often stays, is off-limits to me at the moment, but i trust that kye is still there.

back to azdien’s basement. (vector), who refuses to go by xyr previous name but has yet to decide on a new one, huffs at me indignantly, arms crossed. xe makes some rude gestures and flies just high enough to look down at me.

someone, and i’m not sure i can make out who it is, tells xyr it’s not worth the effort of taunting me. kazen, perhaps. yeah, kazen, in a shadowed back corner of the room, sitting down in such a position that i could easily imagine him with a gun, but he doesn’t have one at the moment. i get the vague impression that he doesn’t need one any more.

while i’m not in the treehouse, i can feel excitement emanating from it even here. grimnir has arrived some time ago, and is eager to make my acquaintance. giving in to their(?) excitement, tyto gives me a lift to the treehouse. nero immediately starts complaining that i’m late. the wolfdog on the worn-out couch seems to be more kitt than kaire today, but they’re different phases of the same creature, like phases of the moon. kayden, like grimnir, is excited to greet me. i’m a bit surprised to see kei again, in their usual corner, glaring at me but not seeming as angry as their face might make it seem.

i ask after ethan, and someone tells me that they’re changing right now. coccoon-like, unavailable. there is some confusion regarding the matter, interference from raliel or trysten.. raliel. vite is very much engaged with a racing game, and doesn’t turn around to greet me, but doesn’t seem unhappy about my presence either. it seems like the house has been teaching casey to play a card game, but it’s hard to tell if they’re still on ygo or if they’ve moved on to frogjuice and other party games. casey is pretty miffed at me for missing the most recent con. i promise ill get photos for her soon.

i head back to the mansion, on foot, but the time lapses and i arrive within what feels like seconds. percy opens the door for me. him and jochen stand back to back, both telling me off for neglect and jumping to conclusions. it seems like they’ve become two people, properly, but twins. tobias, as well, is like a brother to them, but doesn’t bother to greet me. instead, he stays in the library, reading about strategy.

azdien gives me a grand welcome when i enter the dining room, the effect of which is somewhat undercut by raliel, now kinning lorenz, babbling at me before azdien can even finish vaer greeting. drohen watches on in a way that could almost read as fond, holding a rather elaborate teapot.

i can hear darion snoring from two rooms away.

trysten seems to be sulking, a bit put out that raliel got a new kintype and ailecent did too, but it doesn’t seem like there’s anything new for sier. i reassure sier, and sie quickly bounces back, saying that of course sie knows im right, sie is fantasic regardless.

vivianne is in another room.. or perhaps more like a. patio/sunroom, which has just recently been constructed off the kitchen. there are butterflies in it. vae is seated, wearing a sweeping ballgown, and greets me with serenity. i get the impression that vae was waiting for someone else, and i ask who. i can’t hear vaer response, but i wonder if it might be kestrel.

kestrel, i realize when i think about it, had been in the library with tobias, just out of my sight beyond the bookcases. ae expresses some reluctance to leave, saying that vivianne’s greenhouse is terribly humid, but ae does head in that direction.

kisoquine, very much the same as neist now, is in the kitchen, as seems to be xyr habit. there are copper pots and pans hanging from a ceiling rack, and xe is fascinated with them, and xyr reflections in them.

micah is in their room, dark except for the blue lights on many of their computers. they’re tinkering with something, and don’t seem to appreciate my presence. when i ask what it is, i get the impression that they’re collaborating with aren.

aren, upstairs in his room, is in some sort of technological tank or pod, unconscious, waiting.

when i query after reik, im told that he was in the treehouse. did i not see him in there? surely it was him giving vite such trouble in that racing game. i suppose i was distracted.

next is the cabin. corian is sitting in one of their elaborate chairs, holding a cup of tea on their lap but sound asleep. nine, lying on the back of their chair, wakes up when i walk into the room, and compliments tyto on bringing me here. i thank tyto as well, and ey transitions into a more human form before heading into the basement to pick up some research materials.

i ask after nika. there’s some confusion. was sie not in the greenhouse with vivianne? no, sie wasn’t. maybe sie’s upstairs. i head up, and i don’t see sier, at first, just a stack of magazines on sier table. after a couple minutes of further confusion, i realize that the pile of white fluff on the couch is not a blanket, but rather, nika in the form of a ninetails, sleeping quite soundly.

downstairs, nine laughs at me. im a bit miffed that they didn’t say anything until i realized.

when i ask about ailecent, i’m told that ae is in the main house, having found a bedroom there, or perhaps a section of the attic. ae is struggling to find a new outfit that ae likes, now that red is perhaps part of aer colour palette. ae has striking silver horns, now, which suit aer quite well.

i head back down to the main room of the cabin. while i had been aware of people other than corain in the room, it had taken me a few minutes to recognize them. now that i’m not distracted by other questions, i can see elster, also asleep, sitting upright on the couch.

aether is curled up in a corner, seeming somewhat distressed. i’m not entirely sure what’s bothering cir. somehow, ce seems more gemlike than i had expected.

tyto finishes collecting eir books and comes upstairs. we walk together up the mountain to skye’s cabin, since it’s difficult for eir to fly with too much cargo. ey makes idle chatter about what’s been happening in headspace while i’ve been away, but i can’t make out the words.

before we reach the cabin, gail crosses our path. it seems to have some sort of warning for us, but i can’t decipher this either.

skye greets us warmly at the door, but doesn’t allow us to enter the building. or doesn’t allow me at least. tyto slips past, apologetically saying goodbye before ey disappears into the building.

aloe is hissing at me from a table inside, and skye explains that aloe isn’t alright with outsiders at the moment, and that includes me. i apologize for intruding, and skye apologizes for not being able to invite me in.

i head back down the mountain. up here, there is thick, crunchy snow up to my ankles. it disperses by the time i get back to corian’s cabin, but i keep going past that as well. the tree on which the treehouse is built is just starting to turn yellow for the year.

it’s my intention to round up percy and grimnir and bother them about names.

#[roll call]

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