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andiwriteordie · 1 year

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Demigods Mike, Will, and Jonathan walk into a Monster Donut shop.

Manning the counter is a seemingly human individual, but Mike isn’t fooled.

This ‘Argyle’ is obviously a monster.

Hilarity ensues.

HAHAHAHA THIS PROMPT OH MY GOD. IT'S SO FUNNY.

alright, here's a little pjo x st fusion au featuring our favorite sons of apollo, will and jonathan, our favorite son of athena, mike, and our... monster? (to be determined) friend, argyle!

—

bring on the monsters

There are two things in the world that Will Byers knows for certain.

Number one: Will Byers loves his boyfriend, Mike Wheeler, more than anyone else in the world. The two of them have literally been through hell and back together. Mike has fought all sorts of monsters and gone on dangerous to come rescue Will, and the two of them are a team. They’ve been a team since they first met each other at five years old, and now, at twenty years old, they’re even more of a team than they’ve ever been before.

Number two: Mike Wheeler is a fucking idiot, even if he is a son of Athena.

Yes, these two things can coexist. Will’s not really sure what that says about him, since he’s the idiot dating the (stupid, lovable, kind, and brave) idiot who is currently trying to convince Will that the poor guy—Argyle, according to his nametag—working the counter at Monster Donut shop is actually a monster.

“I don’t trust him,” Mike says as he slides into the booth next to Will. Mike immediately puts his arm around Will’s shoulder, and Will shifts closer to his boyfriend, resting his head on Mike’s shoulder. “He’s definitely a monster, Will.”

“You wanna say that a little louder, Mike?” Jonathan, who had tagged along with them on this stupid little donut run, whispers dryly. “Want to just announce to the world that monsters and demigods and gods exist?”

Will kicks his older brother under the table lightly and shoots him a glare: Knock it off. For whatever reason, both Jonathan and Mike enjoy getting one another riled up. It’s been like this ever since the three of them went on a quest together when Will was fifteen, and Will swears Jonathan and Mike already act like they’re brother-in-laws or something.

(Seriously. If he has to put up with this for the rest of his life, Will’s going to lose his mind.)

Mike narrows his eyes back at Jonathan, but surprisingly, he chooses not to keep the argument going. Apparently, he’s more concerned with proving his point about Argyle being a monster. “Come on, tell me you two don’t think that guy’s a monster,” he says in a stage whisper. “I mean, just… look at him. Everything about him screams, ‘Hey, I’m a monster!’ And we’re in a place called Monster Donut Shop? That’s not a coincidence.”

“We’ve been to this place before,” Will reminds, cuddling up closer to his boyfriend. “Or… actually, I don’t know if you have. You were passed out on our couch when Lucas and I decided we wanted donuts.”

A little pout forms on Mike’s face. “And you didn’t wake me up to come with you?” he asks, and when he pokes Will’s side, Will just yelps. “Will. I thought you loved me!”

“I do.” Will rolls his eyes, and he pokes Mike’s side back. “Even if you act like a puppy with separation anxiety or something. Also, Lucas tried to wake you up, and I’m pretty sure you told him to fuck off.”

“Well, yeah. But I wouldn’t have told you to fuck off!”

Once again, Will rolls his eyes, and he leans forward, kissing Mike sweetly. “Well, now I’m kind of glad I didn’t bring you,” he teases. “Because this Argyle guy was working that night too, and you’re being ridiculous. Look at him. He’s harmless.”

The pout on Mike’s face grows, and he, Will, and Jonathan all turn to look at the employee behind the counter. Argyle—who is most definitely not a monster—is absently throwing a rubber bouncy ball against the wall. It hits him in the face a few times, but all he does is laugh.

“I think he’s just an idiot,” Will adds. “Not a monster.”

“He’s not an idiot,” Jonathan scolds, kicking Will’s shin lightly. “But he is high out of his fucking mind.”

“Ugh.” Mike rolls his eyes. “Of course, you’d know that. But again, I’d like to say: both of you are wrong. He’s not an idiot, and he’s not high. He’s a monster.”

“I think we’d know if he was a monster,” Will reminds. “It’s not like any of us can’t see through the Mist or anything.”

“Okay, well, that doesn’t mean he’s not hiding his monster parts!” Mike protests. “Will, babe, come on! You know I’m right!”

Once again, Will rolls his eyes. “Alright, first of all, don’t call me babe. We’ve been dating for four years, Mike, and we hate pet names.”

“You hate pet names,” Mike stays stubbornly. “I think they’re fun.”

“And I think you’re ridiculous,” Will deadpans. When Mike rolls his eyes, Will just leans forward and kisses his boyfriend. “Second of all, even if he is a monster… hiding his… monster parts, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s dangerous. If he wanted to kill us, he probably would’ve attacked by now.”

Mike narrows his eyes suspiciously, but then he sighs, just pulling Will closer. “You know, for someone who has had many monsters try to kill you, you’re very, very calm about all this.”

“That’s because if he thinks about the anxiety he won’t stop,” Jonathan says dryly, and both Mike and Will turn to look at him. There’s an amused look on his older brother’s face. “Besides, you’re anxious enough for both of you. At least that’s what Nancy and I think.”

“Assholes,” Mike grumbles, holding up his middle finger. “You’re one to talk!”

Jonathan opens his mouth to respond, but before he can, Will interrupts, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re both protective over me and get anxious, all that stuff. Seriously. You get kidnapped one time, and nobody ever lets you live it down.”

A beat passes.

Then another.

And another.

Then, in near perfect unison, Mike and Jonathan turn to look at Will, wearing equally incredulous looks on their faces.

“You didn’t just ‘get kidnapped,’ Will,” Jonathan reminds.

“You also got possessed by some insane monster that’s so obscure barely any of the gods remembered it existed,” Mike points out.

Jonathan adds, “And somehow, you ended up having some beef with El’s insane half-brother—”

“Okay, that wasn’t my fault, thank you—”

“And you decided the best way to end this whole mess was to go on a quest by yourself,” Mike reminds, narrowing his eyes. “A quest, by the way, that literally led you to Tartarus, Will.”

“And you fell in,” Jonathan points out, leaning his head on hand. “Causing all of us to believe that you and Mike were most definitely dead.”

Will scrunches his nose at his boyfriend and his older brother. Okay, so technically all of those things happened, but also, it’s been years now since that whole mess ended. And it’s not like any of it was his fault… other than the “trying to go on a quest by himself” thing. That was a little stupid.

“So, what are you saying?” Will asks, fighting a smile. “That I’m the cause of all your anxiety?”

“YES!” Mike and Jonathan shout in unison, and Will just bursts into laughter, smiling at the playfully annoyed looks which form on both their faces.

Before Jonathan and Mike can say anything else though, a vaguely familiar voice says, “Order’s up, my dudes!”

A box of donuts falls onto the table in front of them, and Will blinks, looking over at Argyle curiously. There’s a bright smile on the employee’s face, and he makes the little finger gun motion.

“I put a few extra donuts in there too for my favorite customers,” Argyle says, and he pats Jonathan’s shoulder. “My guy, we’ve got to stop meeting like this though! I’m a lot more fun outside of work, swear on the Styx.”

Thunder rumbles in the distance, and beside him, Mike flinches. Similarly, Jonathan’s eyes go a bit wide, and he looks at Argyle skeptically. “Um… okay,” he says with a bit of a nervous laugh. “Sure, we’ll… we’ll have to come back some time. Right, guys?”

“Absolutely fucking not,” Mike mutters under his breath.

Will just kicks his foot lightly. “Sure thing,” he agrees, offering Argyle an awkward smile. “Thanks again, uh… for the extra donuts.”

Another grin forms on Argyle’s face. “Like I said, man, anything for my favorite customers!” he says cheerfully. “Man, everyone I know loves Will Byers. You’re like… famous among these crowds. Everyone’s trying to get to you and stuff, man.”

…

Warning alarms go off in Will’s head, and he exchanges another look with Jonathan. Alright, so maybe Mike had been right about Argyle being a monster, because all of this is just too big of a coincidence, and Will really, really does not want to end up somehow being the Godsforsaken child of a prophecy again. No fucking thanks.

“Okay, well, thanks for that,” Mike says abruptly, and he stands up, pulling Will with him. His eyes are narrowed suspiciously at Argyle, and he holds Will’s hand tightly, moving towards the door. “Anyways, we’ve gotta go now—”

Mike pushes open the front door, rushing out of the donut shop before Argyle can even respond, and he walks briskly towards the car, his hand still clenched tightly around Will’s. The bell above the door jingles again—presumably from Jonathan following them.

Finally, the three of them make it back to Jonathan’s car, and Will climbs into the back, still holding onto Mike’s hand tightly. Fortunately for them, Argyle has not followed them outside, so it seems like they’re in the clear.

It’s silent in the car as Jonathan floors it out of the parking lot.

A beat passes.

Then, another.

And another.

“So, uh… that was… strange,” Will remarks, turning to face his boyfriend now. “For the love of Apollo, please tell me that wasn’t some weird omen for all the bad shit that’s about to happen to us again.”

The frown on Mike’s face grows, and he glances over his shoulder at the donut shop now disappearing from view. “Gods, I hope not,” he groans. “But I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“Great,” Will deadpans. “Just what I wanted. More monsters trying to kill me.”

“Well, congrats, Mike.” Jonathan gives the two of them a look through the rearview mirror. “You jinxed us.”

“Oh, so this is my fault? Just because I was smart enough to realize there could be monsters at Monster Donut Shop?”

“Exactly,” Jonathan deadpans, though he’s fighting a smile. “You jinxed us, Wheeler.”

Mike narrows his eyes, and he holds up his middle finger again at Jonathan, before turning to Will. “You’re lucky I love you,” he says, and like Jonathan, he’s clearly fighting a smile too. “Do you see what I have to put up with for you?”

“I’m pretty sure my older brother is the least difficult thing you’ve put up with for me,” Will teases, but he leans forward and kisses his boyfriend again, soft and sweet. “But I love you too.”

A smile forms on Mike’s face, and he takes Will’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You know I’m not going anywhere, right?” he asks quietly. “If… if things are starting back up again… I’m not leaving your side. Whatever’s about to happen… I’ll be here with you, no matter what.”

The words bring a familiar comfort to Will, and he smiles again, squeezing Mike’s hand gently. “I know,” Will whispers back. “I know you will, Mike. Let’s just… let’s just hope that Argyle guy has no idea what he’s talking about.”

Mike scoffs quietly.. “What are the chances we’ll get that lucky?”

“Who knows,” Will chuckles. “Maybe we’re getting worried for nothing, and he is just high out of his mind.”

Mike rolls his eyes, but he smiles again, leaning forward and kissing Will softly. “Sure, Will,” he murmurs. “I’m sure all of this is nothing, and Argyle is just high as a fucking kite.”

“Hey,” Will says with a little grin, “stranger things have happened, right?”

#andi's asks #pjo x st #byler #byler ficlet #byler au #is argyle a monster or not?#is he a threat to will or not?#the world may never know!

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