#there's always discourse going on which can be fun at times and frustrating at most

[yazthebookish]

I'm here to release unhinged fandom energy especially about my favorite ships and book stuff.

#but ship drama is so draining I really just want my peace #I'll make posts related to my ship but that's why I have the tag and many from the other side blocked #like don't bother me I don't have the energy to engage #nor do I want to see your content #I rarely check the tags anyways because I like to curate what content I want to see #the inevitable will happen I don't see the point of wasting energy and time arguing #it's been going on for too long #there's no way to avoid arguments in this fandom but I try my best soemtimes #there's always discourse going on which can be fun at times and frustrating at most #like even if there's drama or like vague posts about me I prefer to be in the dark about them #because I'm not really aware of them #like I said I just block #block = peace of mind #so it's really good sometimes to draw boundaries even for your online presence #sometimes you can control what you are exposed to #I'm happier in the fandom now that I actually make content that makes me happier #let me love gwynriel and everything else in peace

[mishapen-dear]

genuine question but is there any fandom where a character is well written by the majority. im thinking about fandom culture and the spread of frustration when people dont write characters well but. honestly in all the fandoms ive been in there's only like, a Select number of authors who i trust to write Well, let alone write Well AND In Character. character analysis and writing and getting inside characters' heads are all separate skills (all of which are trained by roleplaying fyi can CONFIRM playing pretend with your friends is good for you). there's been more than once where I've disagreed with an interpretation that others agreed with, and then I turned out wrong. or i turned out right. like it doesnt matter WHO is right it just matters that differences in character analysis exist, so even if you DO write well AND write in character, your in character is still going to be someone else's out of character

there's this sort of. vibe. that to play in the sandbox you Need to be able to make a castle, and if you can't make a castle then you shouldn't bother, and it completely dismisses the idea that youre in that sandbox to PLAY in the first place. there's this Weight of disappointing someone if you can't build something that they like, but that forgets that you aren't there to build them a castle. like, be KIND. if you disagree with someone then please make an effort to do so kindly. i dont give a shit about fandom discourse but there is a reason kids get removed from sandboxes if they keep throwing sand in people's eyes. but if they don't like your misshapen sand pile, then youre not obligated to change it. even if you yourself end up hating that same sand pile later- youre not building a legacy. youre playing. and sometimes the result of that play is out of character drivel. theres a reason there are so many authors and so few who i like to consistently read and thats because everyone is Fucking Around in their hobby space. hash tag brag or whatever but i can build castles. ive built several that im v proud of. ive also dug holes in the sand for fun and then tripped on them when trying to get up. I often dug a hole and then got up and fucking- whoops, its a castle now, and i didn't realize i'd made something to be proud of until after the fact. the whole time while creating shit i was Convinced it was bullshit that didn't make sense. and then other times i was Convinced it was bullshit and then i was Right and i can look back and go. huh. ew. but it doesn't matter what the end result was, because i had fun playing in the sandbox

this wasn't meant to turn into a ramble but i have Feelings about bad art and art that's badly perceived and how public perception can screw with your head and how making art youre proud of is fucking. it's so difficult!!! it's hard!! it's really fun, which is why i try to make it, but i promise you it is Okay to not tryhard creativity. even if you CAN, it's okay not to do it all the time. or ever, even. fuck around find out have fun etc

#NOT a discourse post i am musing out loud #there's discourse goign around the dash rn or i wouldnt mention it #but the past few weeks ive seen a lot of “DONT fucking mischaracterize my guy my fuckign god” #which is one of the most frustrating pet peeve there is #but i think a lot too about little baby me #fresh on her writing journey #and how discouraged i would be if someone pointed out the mistakes id made #i made a Lot of fuckups #and i also think about this one fic where one of the characters was INCREDIBLY out of character #me today would not be able to stomach reading it #but baby me was so ENCHANTED #and it introduced to me the concept that you dont always know the reason someone does something #and it made me read even more #and because of that i eventually found Expert Skill level fics #which introduced me to MANY little tricks and fidgets ive tried to implement #there were so so many reviews on that fic that called it shit or complained about the bad characterization #but a decade later i still think about it #there were several very corny mine/craft horror fics i read #which back in the day would be called cringe #and those were what inspired me to write my first horror fic and now im Enchanted by the whole genre #theres a lot of stuff i dont like to read but i like that other people are enjoying themselves #i dont know how to be succinct i hope my point is coming across well #this ties into my thing where fiction is for you first others later #here are my credentials: bb/h fan since before the elections (hi i was the guy who noticed his lack of armour post elections) #and a cross-fandom comment trend of people going 'woa i can see this happening in canon' #im not talking out my ass i genuinely think its more important to have fun than to write accurate characterization #which. is a more 'duh' and clarifying thing than everything else ive written #but ah well c'est la vie #also also just realized this could be interpreted like that- NOT an attack on people who complain about mischaracterization either lmao #i do that too w friends. this is to reassure people who put pressure on themselves to create things Well all the time

[walkawaytall]

Oh no, I’m participating in Star Wars discourse.

Uh, so there’s a post floating around that I’m not reblogging mainly because it’s just this person’s headcanon and, whatever, people can have headcanons, but the main points they make in the midst of talking about their headcanon that I’ll be addressing are:

Leia and Han getting married and having kids is the most boring thing you can do with Leia

Leia should be a Jedi like every other dang Skywalker because somehow continuing an assumed dynasty isn’t the most boring choice you can make for her

Leia is more cut out to handle lack of attachment than Luke which we know because of her lack of response to Alderaan being destroyed

Leia and Han shouldn’t get married or even be around each other much because Han is a wandering soul and needs to travel and go places

Leia never expresses a desire for marriage or children in the OT, so removing these things won’t contradict George Lucas’ canon

And, look, these are just…missing the point of the character growth that occurs in these two during the OT.

(there's just a whole-ass essay below the cut if anyone cares to read about the many thoughts I have on Leia Organa and Han Solo.)

So, I'm not saying existing or past canon/EU has done it right, but I disagree with the statement that having them marry and live kind of basic lives is the most boring choice. If that's all there was to it, sure, but those two choices by themselves show a monumental amount of character growth for both Leia and Han. (I mean, frankly, I think "Skywalker = Jedi every time no matter what" is a pretty boring choice storytelling wise, but I also think the Jedi on the whole are incredibly boring characters, so, uh...I'm biased.)

Leia was never going to live a quiet life even if Alderaan hadn't been destroyed. Like, she did not have that option, period. She would have either remained in politics or taken over as queen, may or may not have had to marry for political reasons, and may or may not have been involved with the Rebellion. Her life was chaos starting as a teen and she had no reason to believe she wouldn't die living a hectic and chaotic life.

And then she loses everything. This isn't emphasized in the movies obviously because they are fun family romps and not gritty dramas, but, good night, in a single second, she loses every family member, nearly every person she knows, every place she finds most familiar and comfortable, everything and to top it all off, the guilt that it's happened because of her unwillingness to give up the Alliance will probably always be there. She was tortured, they lost lives in battle, and, yeah, they destroy the Death Star, but at the end of that day, literally all she has left is the Alliance and those three pilots who managed to unlock her cell door without too much trouble.

I don't know about you, but I'd be straight-up shut down emotionally at that point. Like, I don't think PTSD even covers what Leia probably has going on in her head. And I think that's kind of what we see in ESB (I know the filmmakers weren’t thinking in terms of PTSD, but there are still hints of it there regardless). She's angry, she's afraid of losing people (she's obviously pissed Han is leaving after he said he'd stay, but also, there's a scene that was cut -- a good move in my opinion because the dialogue is beyond dramatic and Carrie seems out of it, but it stands that this was the intended source of Leia’s frustration -- where Luke is telling Leia he's leaving the Alliance for Dagobah and she is extremely upset that both he and Han are leaving, goes on a whole rant about how she should know better than to trust anyone but herself, etc.), and when she finally lets Han in, she promptly loses him and nearly loses Luke.

And then the events of ROTJ happen and she finds out that the man who tortured her, who stood idly by while her entire planet was destroyed, who tortured the man she loves and handed him off to the space mob to be murdered, who cut off her brother's hand and nearly allowed him to die, who has terrorized the Galaxy in general, that guy is her bio dad. And that guy is the entire reason she's Force-sensitive.

Leia stopping her Jedi training in the new canon was for a dumb reason, I agree there. Leia not wanting anything to do with the thing that, from her point of view, nearly ruined her life and the lives of those she loves about a thousand times over...I dunno, I think that's way more interesting than her just going, "Ope, I'm a Skywalker! You know what that means! Gotta be a Jedi!" And as far as her being more of a natural at it...do we know that Leia is better at healthy non-attachment than Luke? Like, any response to a planet being destroyed could easily just be a trauma response. Is shutting down like that good, actually? Or is it just going to cause problems down the road, Anakin-style?

I don't know, I just think that after living through all of that as well as a freaking war, girly might want a quiet life -- that she gets to choose -- with a husband -- who she gets to choose -- and kids -- who she gets to raise without the threat of the Empire or her nightmare of a biological father looming over their lives. And the very fact that she's able to open herself up to that sort of love and affection when the fear that it might all be ripped away from her is likely ever-present is a big deal. Her having kids knowing they'll likely be Force-sensitive even though that aspect of her biology terrifies her is a big deal. And as far as her not expressing a desire for marriage and kids in the OT...I mean, Leia isn't given the opportunity to express her desire for much in the OT, let's be real (she also never expresses a desire to become a Jedi in the OT either. We can't use what Leia didn't express in the OT to dictate whether she wants or doesn't want something is what I'm saying). They're at war. She's a military leader. She probably can't even hazard wishing for anything beyond waking up the next day. But that's not to say she didn't want such things or grow to want such things once she felt it was safe to do so. We literally don't know, but I don't think the absence of that expressed desire is indicative of anything.

As far as Han goes, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure in every iteration of his story, his itchy feet weren't like...a part of his personality. He had a highly traumatic childhood that left him with few options and ended up living a transient lifestyle out of necessity. He actually seems remarkably easy to keep around if you don't treat him like garbage. I mean, he's given exactly one day of friendship, and he sticks around with the Rebellion for three years before some run-in with a bounty hunter makes him realize he needs to take care of his debt with Jabba. He's not leaving just for funsies or because he's bored or just really needs to be a smuggler again...and he seems legitimately sad have to leave when he's not busy getting pissed at Leia for not having the emotional response he wants her to have (first half of ESB Han is being a big ol' baby and I'm perfectly fine admitting that). And what character growth to see Han "I'm in it for the money" Solo learn to care for his friends, learn to support a cause, learn to love Leia when he's spent so much of his life unattached. Han making boring life choices is indicative of character growth and learning to care about others more than himself. What a lovely thing for this man to learn.

The call for Leia and Han to remain living separate lives but still committed to one another kind of demands that they move backward in character growth in my opinion. We have two people who are in rough places due, by and large, to trauma, who eventually open up to one another and seem better for it and then they...just go back to what they were doing before except they occasionally see each other? Why would they want that? They've grown as people, they've won a dang war, and they're finally able to live somewhat securely. Why wouldn't they want to live basic lives when they were denied the privilege of such choices for so long? And how is them making choices based on their love for another person — love that they had a heck of a time coming to terms with — boring?

#leia organa #han solo #star wars #star wars meta #star wars discourse

[olderthannetfic]

I'm in a fandom with a lot of virulent antis (surprise surprise, it's heavily dark source material and I don't know why they're here at all) and a lot of the pairings that aren't the main badwrong ship on ao3 now have DNI tags on them for shippers of the badwrong ship. I guess not enough to break the TOS (no direct threats?), but still full of stuff like "x shippers DNI", "get help you freaks", "You're disgusting" etc etc.

Its just... so frustrating. Like that's a pretty red flag for me that a fic probably is going to be in an immature writing style so I probably won't read it anyway, but every time I see it I just.... heave a big sigh. Why these people are in this fandom or on Ao3 at all I'll never know. Its not even helpful - the tags are there to help describe the fic, if I didn't want to see that kind of content I could just... avoid content that's tagged that way. Why even add that to a fic that's not even about those characters at all?

Honestly, my real question is.... Olderthannetfic, how do you do it?

I feel like I do it "right", in fandom, or at least I try. I always just block and move on. I don't follow the discourse where I can help it and block a lot of the relevant tags. I keep to a small circle of folks that have the same fun brainrot I do and have fun, generally. But this kind of stuff still slips through the cracks in a way that's unavoidable if you're ever online at all. To be honest, it still hurts a lot to see each time, and be reminded that some people seem to literally want me dead over reading a story. And I can't help the doubt and the self-flagellation that creeps in. Despite my best efforts, and all my research, and living to the ripe rip van winkle tumblr fandom spinster age of 27... I sometimes have a moment where I think, maybe I really am a freak or a degenerate, or an evil predator waiting to bloom.

Do you ever experience this? Does this feeling ever go away, or at least dull to a more bearable exasperated eye roll? Do you ever see these anti idiots grow up or grow out of this mindset? Is it just a matter of time, age or experience? Is there a point at which you felt like it affected you less, or perhaps it didn't affect you like that at all? Is there a secret to navigating it calmly and with confidence? Do you have any advice to give in the, er, art of not giving a fuck?

--

Why would I quail at a stupid child on the internet after coming out as queer when I was 14 in the 90s?

I grew up with very open-minded, supportive family aside from my mother's conviction that BDSM was something people were into because they'd been abused. Even then, I remember privately snickering because I was super kinky, and wouldn't that upset her given this silly world view?

I had it easy compared to most in the 90s, but I still saw a lot of nonsense, like good old Mom on the topic of kink or murders in the media. But I also spent a lot of time reading educational sexuality books that debunked myths about fantasies and kinkiness.

Maybe a firmer grounding in sexuality stuff would help you? Nancy Friday's work on women's fantasies is a common starting point. I'm partial to The Topping Book, which is full of "it's great to be a top, actually" and not "you only do it for the sub".

Getting older does usually help though. Most 20-somethings are insecure in their sense of self. Middle age is when people's fucks generally run out, and that only continues to grow. Watch a stupid child go after some 60-something zine writer lady. She's going to laugh in their faces. Some people remain insecure forever, I suppose, but not anybody who had to woman up to be in fandom in the first place.

It's not just that these little idiots are wrong about us being predators: it's that they are the morally degenerate ones for spreading the psychological equivalent of "vaccines cause autism" or "Jews want to steal your Christian babies".

This idea that The Bad People are infiltrating our minds with their propaganda overlaps heavily with anti-semitic conspiracy theory right wing fundie nutjob ideas, and yet these young fools claim to be pro-queer and pro-civil rights. They're an embarrassment to any progressive movement and it disgusts me.

When someone goes "You're not a Christian, so you're going to hell", do you have a moment when you wonder?

Because that's the level of absurdity here.

Even if they don't bully, even if they don't include threats in their DNIs, the fact that they're spreading myths about sexuality that have been thoroughly debunked many times means they're doing something unethical, anti-intellectual, and anti-science.

I'm not afraid or guilty. I'm embarrassed for them.

--

Do antis grow out of it? Yes, frequently.

They are—either literally or functionally—victims of right wing Christian cults. They have the same trajectory of realizing they've been had and slowly trying to work through the raging guilt and religious trauma.

I have limited patience but some sympathy. Like other victims who were indoctrinated to hurt people, escaping the cult is hard. It means not only giving up your false sense of safety and all of your friends but facing what you've done.

[kaladinkholins]

i think fandoms can be soooo ridiculous a lot of the time (see: all the nonsensical fan wars, discourse, etc) but i cannot understate how much i actually love fandoms.

like yeah it may be super nerdy and even cringe and outsiders look at it like "why tf do you care about these fictional characters so much?"

but 1) my field is literally..... literary studies..... in which all i do is study fiction and analyse it like an insane person, and 2) even if that WASN'T my field, thinking about the stories we consume is important even for any person to do, because thinking about stories exercises our brain to think critically!! why do you think our ancestors used stories as a medium to share knowledge, to propagate moral values and lessons? stories—telling them, thinking about what they're saying, and caring about the characters within them—are all inherent to the human experience!!!

so that brings me to fandom. because we are literally just making these little communities with each other based on our shared love for a particular story, and for a particular character or theme within them that resonated with us, or whatever. we're all here because we loved a thing so much that we built connections from it!!!

like yeah my irl friends laugh at me when i tell them i write fanfic, cuz ha ha what a nerd what a loser etc, but dude. i made genuine real friendships from fandom alone. from just obsessing over two characters we thought were cute together, we've gone to sending each other gifts and postcards and having voice calls and confiding in each other and sharing parts of us and our personal lives and our cultures (cuz we're all from different countries) with each other! like now i don't even share a fandom with most of my old fandom friends anymore but we still stick by each other and that's amazing???

also like, i cannot emphasise enough how amazing and encouraging it is to share your craft (art/writing/etc) with others in fandom. because for example if i make my own personal art or write my own original work, i'd have no one to share it to, no one interested to see it, and thus no one will be there to provide feedback or encouragement.

but if i post a piece of fan art or fanfic, people actually do see the work i post and care about the craft and the content it's depicting and even share their thoughts on it and that ??? is so motivating and lovely ??? because even though i make art for myself, art is still meant to be shared and seen at the end of the day—even if only with one person. so to be given the means of sharing our art in such a way, to have such a community that fosters so much creativity, it's amazing. i don't really get that anywhere else.

and especially to have this in like, a casual setting, you know, where you can just be yourself and do things according to your own time and energy without the pretenses of professionalism and a perfectly curated resume or portfolio, and all the confines of a rigid work schedule, which would all make the process of creation less fun and less genuine, and instead just more taxing and chore-like.

because fandom is essentially meant to be about doing what's fun for you! it's about sharing your creations and enjoying what others share with you. you make friends and you go ham with it.

and also it's why it's more frustrating when people take things too seriously and legitimately get upset over assumptions of other people's beliefs and hold the most minor grievances that could only be felt if you're like, chronically online.

but on that note, there are definitely still honest-to-god bad people in fandom spaces too (see: racists, TERFS, homophobes, groomers, harassers, etc). but that's the case with all communities, because bad people are always going to exist, and thus statistically speaking, the bigger a group or community is, higher chances are there's gonna be some awful people in there. but honestly that is its own can of worms and also that's not what this post is about, but i felt it necessary to address because i don't want to paint fandom as like, the best thing ever in the world, because fandom spaces are incredibly flawed, as everything is.

but i've always been one to appreciate things despite its flaws. and though this may be very personal to me, when i love things so much, i am still willing to stick around and try to change the culture around it in the ways that i can (like promoting internet safety measures, creating safe spaces for thoughtful and polite discussion, raising awareness on harmful stereotypes and fandom depictions or opinions, etc).

so regardless of the bullshit that online fandom spaces tend to perpetuate, i do very much still love the way that fandom allows me to connect with folks over something as silly as our little blorbos, and from there end up making life-long friends, or at the very least new acquaintances. insert reinforcement of my thesis statement about stories fostering human connection here. the end. send post.

#fandom #inspired by me feeling lots of love for my long-time fandom friends and enjoying making new ones since joining the BES fandom #like i still remember comments i got on my fanfic from years ago. telling me how much my work resonated with them? #talking about how much they cried reading my work? how much it touched them? #like to me that's insane. like i'm thrilled to even have one (1) person care about my work ykwim #bcs irl it's hard to find that kind of recognition? ppl hear like. “oh you write/draw? cool” and it's p much whatever #so yeah. fandom has always been v important to me like i met so many cool and awesome and nice ppl bcs of it #and though I've lost touch with a lot of the friends i've made i still think abt them a lot. they all mean smth to me still #lol joining a new fandom community is makin me feel nostalgic dont mind me! #shut up haydar #scribblings.txt

[sm0kebreaks]

So like. As amazing at the tma has been about fat acceptance and love and has been absolutely vital to a lot of my self acceptance as a fat trans man, because this fandom actually talks about fat people (as opposed to other fandoms where fat characters and hcs are nonexistent), it means it’s also exposed me to the most and worst fatphobia of any fandom. I genuinely don’t even gaf about the actual discourse discussed in this fandom, it’s generally the people who negatively react to discourse of ppl complaining about fatphobia. The initial problems are usually ignorable to me, but it ends up bringing up peoples voices that make it incredibly clear what their true thoughts about fat ppl are. Idrk why I thought I should share this with you, ig just seeing if you have similar experiences.

I struggle here because i don't like to feel like i am attacking other artists. i'm a hater and i love to complain but i know i have my own short comings. but when it comes to the fatphobia in this fandom im always left not knowing how to talk about things because people will come to me and tell me why my complaint about someone thinning out a fat character is wrong or bad.

do keep in mind i dont really engage with the tma fandom as much i feel very much on the outskirts so this is jsut what i feel like i see on my end and i'm sure theres way more going on i simply dont know

in recent months we have had a newer influx of artists in the fandom who have come in with their own interpretations of the characters which is all fine and good. its jarring sometimes when we become so used to these formless characters looking a certain way that when new people enter the fandom with different ideas it feels wrong and like an attack.

the biggest issue has been people drawing a thinner martin. and while of course everyones welcome to their own interpretation and martin expressing that he's not exactly the smallest guy has multiple ways to be interpreted it is extremely frustrating to see people take that as giving him the most bare minimum extra weight. especially when having a fat character as desirable and as a love interest and such a Fun character is so far and few between

i could go on and on about how each time a popular artist posts a thin martin it gives everyone who looks up to them the excuse to do the same and it's why it's become such a prevalent thing lately. i don't think popular artists should have to worry about being good role models or anything in a fandom i think if youre making art you should do it for fun but it sucks to see when someone becomes so influential and are creating a problem. i deleted like three paragraphs on this alone so i'm going to move on.

i think what i see in the fandom most in regards to fatphobia is a skill issue. people don't know how to draw fat characters. but it also feels like people are barely trying. the artist i have in mind who i would consider to draw skinny martins DOES add a bit of roundness to him. i can aknowledge theyre doing SOMETHING. but you can't come to me and tell me that i can't criticize their art because culturally that's fat to them... like sure it could be. but it's also definitely a limitation of their art style and ability and instead of defending them and patting them on the back for doing good enough shouldnt we encourage people to grow and improve? what an amazing asset to be able to draw people of all size and variety. thats an AMAZING abillity to have in youre tool belt. i wish i had more resources for drawing bodyfat but unfortunately i do not. i have learned from looking at people and luckily having a lot of large loved ones in my life i've learned from as well as you know.. my own body to learn from. and learning to draw bodyfat and drawing characters i love with it has done wonders for my body dysmorphia.

i went on a rambling tangent and idk how coherent all of that is but the end point is that fatphobia sucks it has no place in this or any fandom and we need to practice our skills instead of erasing something that has made this fandom so wonderful to me.

here's some resources

[night-dark-woods]

15, 21, 23, 24!!

THANK U ECHO this got so long oops.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmm not destiny-specific (i dont have any d2 specific gripes i dont think) & i mostly follow cool gay & trans ppl so this is much less of an issue than in the wider fandom (every so often some Main Fandom Art makes its way to me and i do a full double take) but like. i knowww they are almost all the same character model in-game but can we please get some characters who arent super skinny supermodels in here. please.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

not to sound like an edgelord but. the traveler. if we can acknowledge that the Darkness isnt ontologically Evil, i think we can (PLEASE) acknowledge that the Light isnt inherently good. and im not talking about the superpowers we get, they've (narrative team) made it quite clear that individuals choose to do what they will with based on their own morals. but the traveler is, imo, positioned as a Morally Good Agent Of The Light far more than the witness is Of The Darkness, and i think we need to talk more about the traveler's agenda!!! again, this complexity isnt completely absent from the narrative, but it doesnt feel like those interpretations are... metatextually supported igss? like zavala's frustration with the traveler leaving feels more like a very christian (as someone who was not raised religious) test of faith that zavala (and the canonical YW) have Passed and will be Rewarded.

where's tevis my best friend tevis. we need more characters with that pov. god is real god resurrected you god gave you a second chance at life with no memories of your past and a guardian angel (a "chattering oversoul," to quote toland) to tell you where to go and who deserves to die and raise you every time you fail just to throw you back into the divine crusade. like. lets talk about that a little more!!!

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

this is hard bc i am in general very willing to "yes-and" ANYTHING with a hint of chemistry or a fun dynamic. it may not compell me but if you can point out a narrative similarity btwn characters i will almost always be down. unless its one i hate ("hate" being a strong word. really its just the strongest possible apathy) bc i contain multiudes :thumbsup:.

i can't think of a pairing i started out disliking and then changed my mind about due to fandom unfortunately. the closest would be igss that i hate crow/amanda as its written in the text BUT my perhaps controversial opinion is i think transitioning could fix crow specifically the version of crow i have in my head who did not get uldren's memories back. SotL was so good for the overarching plot of d2 but so so so bad for the type of awoken-enjoyer i am & imo the like... thesis statement of what a guardian is lol!

so unfortunately i dont have an answer for this one (i dont think "i like the pretend version i made up in my head" counts as coming around on a ship lmfao), bc you can pair any two destiny women and ill be like yeah for sure! and i have curated my online space well enough that i rarely see any other kind of ship, and when i do its gay men (o14, uldren/jolyon, someone i follow is cooking something with saladin/drifter which is inspired. i love whatever is happening there) which is like cheering absently for a sports team idc about but support on principle.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

mara. its always fucking mara. literally spent an hour and a half last night rehashing d1 mara-course in a server with someone who has not read any lore. which is fine! thats a fine way to engage with the game! its a valuable perspective! but use i-statements and accept that you are coming to the table with 10% of the facts about the character.

honorable mention goes to anything about redemption arcs (and savathun specifically)- most recently that fuuucking saint killing sav repeatedly lore tab. and if you (general) cant be assed to care about evil women (skill issue, but whatever), thats also backsliding YEARS on saints characterization and i dont even care about saint!!!

so really the answer is misogyny lmfao.

#ask games #planet4546b #thank uuu

[spaceorphan18]

Hi, so I've been pretty removed from the glee fandom for some time - you're actually the only glee blog i still follow. So I wanted to ask, what's going on in fandom that makes you want to remove yourself?

Hi Nonny!

I'm so glad you're still here!

I think that a combination of things last week just kind of hit hard -- and it was on top of some real life things that were going on. Tumblr, Glee, this blog are a source of fun and relaxation. And when it descends into drama I just want to back out and not be here. And it's frustrating because this is what I want to do in my free time -- for the fun of it.

First there was the spamming of the episode tournament. In general, people are entitled to their own opinions, but it's kind of got me down that zero episodes in season 4-6 people are championing for. So it's hard enough to watch that -- but then people cheating for really no reason because those episodes were already winning -- just feels like... I don't know. Not fun.

I'm letting it continue, and will keep it going, but my enthusiasm for active participation has waned. It's weird when the shipping tournament had less drama around it.

Then there's the revival of Klaine vs Brittana, which is just so stupid. Ship what you want to ship. And even more, people can like both ships. One isn't actually better than the other. And while I think most Brittana people are fine - there's been a rise in things like --- people saying if you don't like Brittana you hate women? Are lesphobic? (despite Brittany being bi but whatever). Telling people to kill themselves if they don't prefer Brittana? Like -- what is going on? Why do people think that's okay?

Plus, the ramping up of Blaine hate is out of control. It's always been there - but good lord people are going out of their way to hate Blaine. It's too much. It used to be more balanced where you could find as much good as bad. But I'm seeing less Blaine fans (and Kurt fans) in general, which is a bummer.

This new group of watchers just don't connect to Klaine/Kurt/Blaine like the old crew did. And that's fine - people connect to what they connect to. But there's so few people left, it's just a bummer.

And I mean, there are some great people still around. I do appreciate the fic writers and the poll givers and the gif makers. They're good people. But I do miss more discourse around the show. I don't see a whole lot of chatter or discussion or commentary like I used to.

But also, tumblr is smaller and reaches less people. I'm sure there are a ton of people on TikTok. But I have no desire to go there. Not only am I old, but a lot of the TikTok takes I've come across have given me rage so I should probably not.

Sometimes, I'm like -- have you guys even watched the show? And then I get Nonny messages that state people have only watched the first three seasons. Why? Why only like half a show? I don't get it.

And that's fine.

Plus, the unfortunate mess of Kevin and Jenna's podcast. I think at some point, I'd like to listen to it to hear what they have to say, and hear the interviews (which I've always enjoyed). I just tire of fandom either grilling them for not understanding or using them as a piece of validation. They're two people just talking about their experiences. why do we need to make a war out of everything?

That all said (and it was nice to get out), I don't hate it here. I'm not really going anywhere -- I'm not one to skim on out because other people want me to not be here. Sometimes I just need a break.

And I've been thinking about ways to do fun things again -- I've been thinking about maybe doing an episode appreciate thing, where I talk about the good in every episode.

Idk. I suppose we'll see, but that's where I'm at.

#that's how s.o. sees it

[isfjmel-phleg]

At the antique store today, I found a Batman comic from 1989. I didn't get it (although I did pick up another from the previous year that has a brief Angry Jason moment), but in the back was a letter page with responses to A Death in the Family and I took pictures. Here's a glimpse of what the 1989 Discourse was around Jason's death:

Some readers approached it in terms of story quality, like Bob U., who wrote a lengthy piece comparing it in quality to a previous story and concluded with

The voting, well, that was rather crass, if you ask me, but all in all, I think the characters stand up, and the pure adventure of it all will be remembered for years to come. You allowed the fans to contribute, and that couldn't have been easy. So thanks, I guess, for a few fun months of Batman and Robin, and what I hope will be some really brutal Dark-night Detective stuff in the months to come.

But other readers, like Rene S., had more emotional investment--in case some rather harsh and uncalled-for hatred of a fictional teenager:

After reading the conclusion of "A Death in the Family," I've only one thing to say: thank you very much for killing off Robin! I never liked the little gnat; he is not even the original Robin! I always thought that Batman looked a little bit silly running around with a fourteen (?) year old sidekick. Now the Batman is restored to his old glory, and I sincerely hope there won't be another Robin for some years to come (although I liked the girl Robin in DARK KNIGHT [i.e. Carrie Kelley], maybe you can do something with that...) Robin is dead, long live Batman!

Mitchell K. had none of that meanness but showed a fan-like interest in alternate endings:

I have been an avid Batman fan since I was a boy, and I just finished "A Death in the Family" series and thoroughly enjoyed it. I voted for Jason to live and was very shocked to see him die, but I was still very impressed with the rest of the story. But I can't help wondering how the story would have gone if Jason had lived. I would like to know if there is any way that DC Comics will ever publish the second ending.

To which the editor replied:

Mitchell, while we understand your curiosity, we have no plans at present to ever publish the "alternate" ending to BATMAN #428. Very few people even at DC have seen those pages, and sorry to say, but that for the time being the material will stay locked up tight in my file.

I hope Mitchell was inspired to create his own version of that ending! (Those top-secret alternate pages have since been glimpsed; they feature Batman holding Jason as he does in the original but exclaiming, "He's alive! Thank God!" and then Jason in the hospital in a coma with his recovery uncertain.)

Alvis S. has an unfortunate story about his thwarted intention to vote for Jason to live:

As I read "A Death in the Family," this time in the Graphic Novel form, I relived the frustration I felt when I read BATMAN #428. Why did I feel this frustration? It could be that on September 15th and 16th, the South Texas area was being threatened by Hurricane Gilbert. At that time, the Phone Company asked that the phone lines be kept clear for emergencies. Maybe my friends and I, who had planned to vote on keeping the late Jason Todd alive, could have made a difference. We made sure we voted on November 7th, though; but this time we have no excuses. What is done is done, but I will miss the effect Jason was having on our hero.

Shon G. was disgusted by the fandom's murderous attitude toward Jason:

It saddens me to see that comic fans are becoming so blood thirsty. I have never seen a character like Jason Todd be disliked so much. Maybe it was because he was no Dick Grayson. Who knows? But I know this: it tells you how far some people will go to get their way. I have also noticed that when a writer terminates a character, most people write in that it was a cop-out. This time it is not the writer's fault directly. It is ours. And it appears that a few people are being quite hypocritical. It is a shame you let us choose, for it is very frightening to know that, if given the chance, people will vote for the death of someone because of dislike. People always seem to miss possible alternatives. That makes us not only ignorant, but also narrow-minded. I am aware that this letter does not apply to everyone, but I wanted to, at least, voice my opinions on this situation. [...] P.S. Whatever happened to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness"? Especially for those heroes who have given us so much--whether we admit it or not.

To which the editor replied:

Voicing opinions is what letter columns are all about, Shon. But I really don't think you give your fellow readers enough credit. Try to keep in mind that Jason Todd was a work of fiction (despite the incredible feelings of angst and finality we all felt as the votes came in [...]). You know as well as I do that if the phone vote was over the life or death of a real-life, living, breathing PERSON, the results would have been a little different. A LOT different.

...would it have been? For someone so apparently hated? Some people can be surprisingly just as cruel with real people as they are with fictional ones.

Similarly, Rob H. is concerned by such attitudes in the fandom:

First of all, let me say that I am not writing to complain about his [Jason's] death, nor am I writing to cheer about it. Personally, I do wish he had survived, although I must admit I wasn't fond of his character after his origin was changed after the Crisis; however, he was still an interesting character. I don't mind the fact that he is dead as much as I mind the manner of his death. The Joker didn't kill him. The readers did. He didn't die for any good purpose that I can see. He died because of some stupid idea to garner some free publicity. Look at all the media coverage it got. If it hadn't been for the phone-in poll, I doubt his passing would have gotten much attention at all. It just seems to me that the only reason he died was to make some money. I am not so concerned about the money aspect of his death, but with many readers' outright joy that he died. The letter column seems to be full of people gloating that they helped kill him. Why are they so overjoyed? They really seem to have hated him a lot. Why? It seems more and more readers are calling for the deaths of characters. In SUICIDE SQUAD, the readers keep pleading for more people to die. In NEW TITANS, readers seem to be calling for Danny Chase to die. What is this obsession with death? Admittedly, these characters are merely fictional, but doesn't this fixation with death seem like a sad commentary upon society? I, for one, like it when the heroes prevail. Sure I like realism in comics, but I also like the escapism. There is enough death and destruction in the world today. It seems to be getting harder to occasionally escape from the madness for even a short time.

In light of the outcome of the vote, it's good to know that there were some people who were disturbed by all that. Sure, it's "just a fictional character" whose death wouldn't matter in the same way that a real person's would, but if a fictional character is ultimately so inconsequential, why was there enough investment to warrant that level of vitriol? I tend to agree with Rob; it's "a sad commentary on society" that readers were so harsh.

Even if it resulted in some fascinating storylines, both shortly after and much, much later.

#comicsposting again #have fandoms really changed much since 1989? #just imagine if all this had taken place in recent years now that we have the internet

[ruthlesslistener]

not to keep vagueposting about animal welfare discourse, but i happened to run into one of the blogs that was shitting on scout for their cow husbandry and the shit they were saying was so fucking stupid...it was something along the lines of 'rabbits aren't social animals because their wild ancestors have a social group set entirely by mating/the HRS tries to force you to bond rabbits unnecessarily and is a peta-affiliated organization/its unnecessary to spay female rabbits because the 85% association between uterine cancer and not spaying is only supported by two studies', all of which may make sense for breeding rabbits is complete and utter bullshit when dealing with pet rabbits.

Rabbits are indeed social animals that grow anxious when alone and should have SOME form of companionship most hours of the day. This does not have to be another rabbit, and the urging to establish a bonded pair is typically done for people who are OUT OF THE HOUSE most of the day. HRS and shelters don't 'force' pairings, they encourage them because having someone around 24/7 isnt always viable in American households. When I tried to get Celeste bonded because I was worried about her welfare (this was when I was 14 and new to rabbits), both the HRS and shelters talked us out of it because she very clearly did not care about other buns, and didn't need to be bonded because there was always someone around them. But if you're a singular person who's away from home most of the time, then yes you need some sort of partner animal because it reduces stress in your rabbit.

Those social structures are ofc going to be different if you have unfixed breeding animals, but the core aspect of it is still the same. Rabbits are social animals. They are comforted by the presence of others around them, form bonds with other rabbits, and feel more secure in groups. Just because they are more territorial when unfixed (as they should!) doesn't reduce the fact that they are social prey animals, it just means that you need to keep them in different conditions than you would a fixed creature with less hormonal urges

The HRS is not aligned with PETA. They denounce affiliations with meat breeders because they're entirely based on improving the welfare of rabbits that are kept as pets. I can see why some might feel offended on their stance against meat rabbits, but rabbits are still primarily viewed as livestock, and after hearing enough comments about people wanting to eat my rabbit, I can understand why they'd be so clear on it. People are assholes about pets that are commonly viewed as feeder animals.

There is indeed a high risk associated between UNBRED unspayed female rabbits and uterine cancer. This is supported by several studies on animals with similar breeding lifestyles by multiple veterinary institutions. You won't notice it in your breeding females because the risk is SPECIFICALLY for unbred animals, aka most pets. So yes, spaying is necessary for your doe's health if you do not intend to regularly breed or have stopped regularly breeding

Even if there wasn't a very real danger to their health, you'd still need to get them fixed to reduce behavioral problems. Unfixed rabbits are much more territorial, destructive, and aggressive, making them more difficult to keep in a home environment. They will growl, they will lunge and bite (and rabbit bites are not something you want to fuck with- I have scars from Celeste's nips), they will piss and shit to mark their territory and it WILL be pungent and unsanitary even if they are litterbox trained. They can still be cuddly with you, sure, that won't reduce their value as pets, but a perpetually sexually frustrated and territorial animal is not fun to deal with and is arguably unethical for the rabbit. If you want a pet rabbit, you need to get them spayed. And I say this from personal experience- Celeste wasn't spayed when we got her, but after she did get spayed, she became much more manageable and less likely to bite. She was still manageable beforehand, but afterwards she was a hell of a lot more relaxed and not stressed

There's nothing wrong with having significantly different husbandry because you are a meat/fur breeder; unfixed animals have different temperaments, different needs, and are typically kept in different conditions that are more economically and behaviorally suited to turning a profit. But those care requirements change drastically when you have only one to two fixed animals in a home environment, which means that you cannot pass judgement on pet care requirements when you're a meat breeder, and visa versa.

#lets also not forget that this whole discourse started bc someone said that culling goat kids at birth based on sex felt wrong #and some meat breeder took it as a personal attack even though rabbits and goats are DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT ANIMALS #yes hard culling rabbit kits is necessary. but its also not a massive fucking waste when they have huge litters #if you're breeding an animal for meat and they only have one or two at a time over a span of some months then its a MASSIVE WASTE #but anyways this is about rabbits and yeah. im bitter bc i miss celeste and the holier-than-thou attitude got to me #i dont have problems with how they keep their rabbits but i do have problems with them applying farming rules to domestic pets #if you have multiple unfixed rabbits in an outside hutch then yes you need to keep them seperate to prevent breeding and stress #but they're still fine because *they know other rabbits are there* #they can see smell and hear them #if you have ONE rabbit in a home environment it NEEDS companionship bc its alone #if its unfixed then no it cant be another rabbit but it can be you. if its fixed then thats when another bun is an option #and yes they are intensely social and rabbits that do accept a partner benefit massively from it have you even seen bonded pairs #they groom each other and flop together and spend all their time with each other its def. a mutually beneficial pairing #celeste just didnt need it bc there was always someone home with us so she saw other rabbits as a threat #but if that wasnt the case then it would have been different #they arent dogs or cats!! you cant treat them as such!! #and for the record the husbandry needs of unfixed vs fixed animals is a Thing for all other pet species #or at least most of the

[gio-goose]

Can you give me a few art tips i want to be able to draw sin kiske too

I am not the greatest at explaining things or giving advice. These tips are just what many artists have already said and points that *I* personally agree with or have helped *me*. The reason why I am putting emphasis on myself is because everyone is different so what helps *me* might not help you. These things you will have to figure out yourself, BUT there are many MANY art tutorials from different artists with different styles so maybe you can find something there! Anyways moving on-

Don‘t think too much and just DOODLE DOODLE AND MORE DOODLING

I am serious, turn that brain off and start doodling. I had this mental barrier for sometime (that I am still struggling with) where I just didn‘t feel confident in my art and didn‘t even wanna START drawing, bc I felt like everything sucked ass. But just turning that brain off and mindlessly doodling is so SO great because it doesn‘t have to be perfect or anything AND through the repeating motions of sketching you‘re training your hand to become better at making nice smooth strokes. Sketching mindlessly is honestly very theraputic for me, cuz I just get to have silly fun. There‘s no pressure in doing things. AND sometimes doodling mindlessly can lead to great ideas.

Tracing/Referencing

Ik there‘s lots of discourse about tracing and referencing in the art community, but I can only tell you that this has been extremely helpful for me and getting my anatomy right. While tracing helps getting the placements of body parts and lines right, referencing really helps train your eyes what to look for. You‘ll start to recognize familiar shapes that are prevalent in almost all body types or certain things that are almost always there in nature. Tracing can also help you get more familiar in the way that you draw certain things. These techniques are all about familiarizing yourself with whatever you‘re trying to draw (bodies, faces, landscapes etc) and engraving it into your mind. Ofc if you decide to post something where you traced or referenced something it‘s always good to show your sources, but this is mostly something to do in private.

Take breaks, treat yourself with something nice :)

Art can be tiring, so be sure to always ALWAYS take breaks when you feel like its about to get frustrating and maybe eat something, do something else to replenish that art juice, yeah? Breaks can last however long you want. Whats most important is that you won‘t start hating the process cuz this shit can be mentally taxing so breaks are super important. Even if the break takes a year or something, art can always wait and its not like you‘ll immediately forget all your skills that you have gained yk? Maybe you‘ll get rusty but muscle memory is one hell of a thing. You‘ll get the hang of it in no time!

Get shiggy wiggy with it

What I mean by this is to just have fun. Art is supposed to be enjoyable, so I say go crazy, go stupid with it. Like who gives a shit if its stupid or cringe? Just have fun! Don‘t let someone ruin the fun in art for you, okay? These people stink anyway smh my head… they just don‘t understand the joy of creating a beautiful art piece about ur favourite charaters doing dumb shit or kissing each other. (Just uh… don‘t get illegal with it)

Get obsessed with something. I am very serious about this

Unironically, getting obsessed with a character or franchise has helped me a lot to keep being motivated to draw. Like a character that just makes you so so happy that you just keep drawing them (I mean, look at me 💀), which goes back to the first point. Being obsessed with something can keep you drawing something for a long time. And it gives you a big ass serotonin boost. However-

Try something new!

Drawing the same thing over and over again is great, but it can get stagnant really quick. So sometimes you have to try something new, stuff that might be difficult or things you aren‘t really confident yet (like hands. Yeah I know, its a nightmare). Doing this will make your skillset much bigger and may deepen your understanding on how stuff works cuz this art stuff is really interconected. Like, if you know one thing then maybe you can also do the other.

Take it slow. Be easy on yourself

There is ALWAYS this constant need to improve. Especially on social media, where artists are expected to improve in lightning speeds or post the perfect art pieces (and tbh some of these might be self imposed too). But you really, you don‘t. Just enjoy it at your own pace, be proud of the stuff you made. Save it, keep it and look back on it to see how much you‘ve improved. Don‘t view art as something you need to be perfect at, but just as something that makes you happy. An outlet for your feelings. Something to do when you‘re bored. Or stuff like that, cuz it‘s really not that serious UNLESS you want it to be like a job or something. So be patient, because art is a marathon, not a sprint. There is no need to hurry.

Aannddd if you wanna be able to draw Sin specifically then channel your inner whimsical creature, become jolly, be silly and get shiggy wiggy with it :)))

#but like the most important thing is just having fun in your art journey #don‘t be too hard on yourself #just get silly with it ykyk #sorry if this is too nonsensical #these are just things that helped me #hopefully it‘ll help you too! #and as one little guy once said. YOU GOTTA BELIEVE!!!

[padfootastic]

I’m loving the discourse here about Sirius fanon (mis)characterization, and I just wanted to add, if we take canon situations which point to Sirius’ impulsiveness, they are - going after Peter in 1981, his attempts to break into Gryffindor tower and coming back into the country when Harry’s scar hurt. I did not include going to the DoM because I don’t think this was impulsive, unless Remus, Tonks, Moody, Kingsley and Dumbledore going to the DoM is also called ‘impulsive’. His godson was in danger, he had a far better reason than the others (including the Aurors still on Ministry payroll, pretending to be supporting Fudge) to go to the DoM. If we look at the other examples, we can see that the main reasons behind his actions are usually (in no particular order) grief, love for his godson, and trauma. In fact, we know that despite his grief, he even tried to take Harry in 1981. It was only when he was denied by Hagrid (Dumbledore, really) that he goes after Peter.

I completely agree that the big deal made out of his ‘recklessness’ and ‘impulsivity’ in OOTP were completely out of the blue. What really frustrates me about that is also that neither Molly nor Hermione ever apologize for their comments or behavior. I’d have liked to see Molly acknowledge she was unfair to Sirius, because she was panicking about her family being in danger, or Hermione acknowledging that she was passing judgement on Sirius because she had no idea what she was talking about when it comes to PTSD or trauma. Fans are quick to forget that she’s equally as clueless about how to deal with Harry’s PTSD in OOTP, but somehow all of this disappears in time for HBP, and everyone ‘moves on’.

The only person who truly understands Sirius (as much as he can, when dealing with his own trauma) in OOTP is Harry. Remus’ nonchalance at keeping Sirius imprisoned in a house with his worst childhood memories is also baffling. Actually, Harry’s reactions are most often a parallel to Sirius’ reactions - Harry running after Bellatrix, like Sirius went after Peter, after the death of the only family they had. But, Harry’s actions or reactions are always portrayed in a heroic light, they are always because of his love, or saving-people-thing (an oversimplification from Hermione that also frustrates me). JKR’s bias in her portrayal of Sirius is obvious, and fans seem to have run with the caricature they made of Sirius in the movies and in Hermione and Molly’s OOTP words.

hello anon! 💜 you and me both, tbh. i hadn’t quite realised how many people were disgruntled with sirius’ fanon self so its quite fun for me to see all these interpretations.

re the DoM, i thought this was a wonderful post analysing why it wasn’t reckless of him to go, like u said.

re the other things, definitely—loyalty, love, trauma, and grief make up so much of his core traits/responses. people like attributing selfishness/recklessness/immaturity to his decision to go after Peter but i don’t agree with them tbh. he’s just lost his james, he’s in a haze of grief and anger and guilt, and along comes a person who takes his godson on the orders of someone who’s the leader of their side in the war. why wouldn’t sirius, who’s deferred to the order before (harry’s bday), listen? especially when it gives him a chance to go after the traitor? it’s not a stretch, or arrogance, to think he’d be (the only one) capable of catching peter—no one else knows about the switch *and* the animagus thing, after all. it’s entirely possible for him to think about it in terms of neutralising a threat tbh. and iirc, he didn’t even go after peter to kill him or wtv? i’m pretty sure it was firstly a ‘how could u do this’ endeavour but also he’s morally against that kind of violence, isn’t he?

and yes! it frustrated me sm that the narrative itself justified molly and hermione, even when they’re categorically wrong (atleast imo). i’m pretty sure sirius’ arc (and james, to a lesser extent) is why the ‘show, not tell’ thing has made such an impression on me because jkr told us a whole lot about sirius but showed the exact opposite and that’s led to this clusterfuck of a canon characterisation lol.

remus’ lack of care about sirius being imprisoned in GP makes me think that maybe he didn’t know all that much about his childhood, tbh. it lends even more credence to my hc that only james did. there was a shocking lack of care towards the kind of abuse walburga’s portrait & kreacher were hurling at sirius and the implications it had. and harry definitely showed an amount of care & understanding that others didn’t, imo. that comparison between umbridge and walburga, for one. the sirius-harry parallels are unending, aren’t they? because that’s such a good point about peter/bellatrix. it’s interesting how similar actions, similar motivations can be demonised one way and praised the other.

#sirius black #sbds #i’ve also seen some fics where sirius decides not to fight for harry w hagrid bc of the gentle giant thing #hagrid is super loyal to dumbledore and perhaps doesn’t realise his strength and S didn’t want to risk anything happening to H #with remus—u can make him ignorant or a terrible person for not caring. personally i’m on board with either but i think the first is more li #more likely* #also i’m personally a fan of harry using the cruciatus. i think the boy needed to go feral more often #so i’m not saying he should be demonised for that #just that it’s a diffference in narrative justification that’s interesting #(the way the text is used to make even the most messed up things ok is an important theme tho) #(like snape’s treatment of harry justified by the retconned james bullied him mess) but that’s another rant that i don’t wanna get into lol #the jkr bias against sirius annoys me sm. like i think an author has the right to feel whatever about a character #but the effect it’s had on his characterisation in fandom is what rly gets me #because despite all odds-sirius *is* one of the most competent characters. no matter how much she disliked him #she still make him smart and powerful and badass and hot as fuck #and yet. it’s all stripped away? #because the narrative excuses it? #it’s the weirdest dichotomy #pen’s asks

[toxicnorn]

i didn't really do this for the sake of nostalgia but i was looking through some past blogs and internet IDs of mine

i'm a very different person from who i was when i originally joined tumblr. i approach writing in a very different way. my opinions on a lot of things have changed a lot. i really cannot give two shits about most discourse nowadays that i used to have opinions on.

when it comes to creative work, i had a lot more energy and confidence, but this was a double-edged sword because for a long period of time, i was single-handedly focused on rp as a distraction from some real heavy shit irl and my fandom stuff wasn't necessarily healthy for me. this is something i've struggled with on and off over the years because i tend to latch really hard to fiction and characters when things are bad. i wrote some really good sentences though and some good characters. i keep trying to recreate the same feelings by recycling characters, but they're different each time because nostalgia's a false thing and you can't just make the same thing twice but different and expect it to be the same.

my latest attempts at fic and rp are trying to come from a different source, which i think is healthier in the long run.

i was like super depressed from 2014-2018 and then the election pummeled me into a different funk for two years, which was better in some ways but worse in others. around 2019, i was finally able to move out of my parents' house for some time. it wasn't very far but it did help me clear my head a bit.

then 2020 happened. i moved back in with my parents for a few months and it was kind of awful, but then i moved back and things were actually better on my end for a bit, but i was still very weird and squirrelish.

2021 happened somewhere along those lines and i don't remember most of 2021 because it was a hell year of going to doctor's appointments until the very end of it. i moved across the country in 2022 to be with my gf (hey bb love you very much if you are reading this) and for the first time maybe ever, i feel like i'm in a pretty good place. i know that there is a still a lot of work ahead of me to figure out How to Be A Person 101 and get over my hangups but i'm really happy.

anyway, when your creative output has been based entirely on distracting yourself from blue moods up until now, it's a bit wild trying to readjust your brain to go "hey, actually, it's okay to like things just to like them, you can fuel yourself with other emotions, having characters that live in your head is not cringe or something." i'm having fun though, even if i can't manage the output that i'd like to.

this isn't me gloomyposting btw. i think if anything, it's the opposite because things are pretty okay. i might have issues that creatively frustrate me and i might have flaws i'm trying to work on and of course learning How To Social is always an ongoing effort and we aren't even getting into the ongoing saga of Getting My Bran To Work On Medication (on one hand, it's been great because i have the least amount of anxiety than i have ever had in my life; on the other hand, my brain feels like it's two feet out of reach more days than i'd like it to and i'm really frustrated by the fact that i cannot make the connections between thoughts and actions, like my brain just stutters before comprehending that ii should do very basic actions), but all in all, things are great and i'm excited for the future.

there are a lot of people i've lost track of that vanished off tumblr after 2018. i realized a small handful of people were assholes. some of the people i used to know seem to have fallen off the fact of the internet entirely and i doubt i'll ever learn what happened to them. at least one of my very early internet friends died, klim. i don't really know what happened to most of the people i knew in those days when i was on gaia online but i hope that they're doing well. i was a very different person when i was on that site but i was also 16, so of course i was.

anyway, i talk different now. i communicate differently. my internet voice has changed. i used to use random caps for everything. i don't capitalize shit anymore and you can't make me.

i don't really want to get back into the mindsets of me of years prior, but i do want to be able to tap into that well of creative potential because it seemed like i had so much energy for writing, for talking about writing, for sharing and brainstorming and thinking. i know that i am a person capable of writing a novella in the same of a few weeks so i want to regain that.

but i want to have more fun with it this time. i want it to belong to me and not belong to various plagues and maladies. i think deep down, there is a part of me that misses being nine and thinking i had invented fanfiction and talking about my zelda fic with all my friends without a hint of self-consciousness, but, like, with less 1999 going on because the 90s normalized a lot of shit that's not great.

anyway i don't really know where i'm going with this, so i am going to rotate characters in my mind before i go to bed

[tobi-smp]

Anonymous asked: Feel like seeing some splendid bait takes today? [Link to a post that’s been censored] [End transcription]

I’m gonna be honest with you anon, as much as I’m definitely known for not shying away from discourse I don’t particularly like engaging with pure “bait” takes, especially to this degree.

the point of engaging with meta or discourse or what have you is to engage with the Ideas being presented. either because there’s a conversation that’s worth happening opened up by the original post, or because the ideas presented are worth correcting.

the former doesn’t really need explaining (having genuine discussions about lore is something that some people consider, you know, Fun), but the latter is only worthwhile in a few instances.

1: when a Good point is being made in a bad way. whether that just be down to unfortunate/incomplete wording, a lack of evidence, or something is structurally wrong with the thought process but the conclusion is still (in my opinion) Correct. critiquing ideas that you genuinely believe in is just as if not more important than debating ideas that you don’t. 

2: when the argument being presented is a perfectly reasonable one that happens to be based on either a major misconception or multiple smaller ones, where pointing out and addressing these misconceptions can push the conversation forward and change perspectives.

3: when an argument happens to present a really Common misconception or misunderstanding in a way that makes addressing it an outlet for a much broader discussion, which ties into the former point as well ! though it’s less a discussion with the op and more a discussion with the fandom as a whole in this case.

4: when a truly “bad” argument is worded in a convincing or reasonable enough way that it’s digestible to an audience that either doesn’t have the perspective to see what’s wrong with it or doesn’t have the words to dissect Why think something is wrong.

“bad” here is, of course, subjective. but in this case it either comes down to the fundamental ideas behind the argument being based in misconceptions (if not lies), or the ideas behind them being genuinely offensive in a real world context (whether that be bigotry or just plain insensitivity).

this is worth debating in a serious context because of the people watching. you’re not always going to be able to change the op’s mind in this instance and going into a discussion expecting that you can is going to lead to disappointment and frustration. but digging into it in depth is Worth While because of those people who Didn’t have the perspective or who Didn’t have the words. it gives them the tools to see whatever it is that’s been falsely presented as reasonable or true for what it is, and should be able to help them spot it again in the future.

in the grand scheme of things this is obviously more important in the context of like, Political Discourse, but this is a story that covers a lot of difficult themes. and while how someone engages with a story isn’t going to be a complete one to one to how they engage with real people (Most Of The Time.), it’s Also true that what people say in this context can be indicative of their understanding of these real world concepts and having serious discussions about those ideas in a relatively low stakes environment can help build a better foundation For exploring those ideas in a more serious context. it’s also true that real people who are affected by these real concepts are going to be in contact with both this story and the ways that we talk about it.

5: when a truly abysmal take comes from what should be a reputable source. the reasoning Behind engaging are different depending on how familiar with the person you are. if this is a friend then obviously having a conversation with them about it is just a part of Being friends with somebody. but if it’s someone that you just share a space with, even if you have respect for them, then that obviously changes things.

engaging with a bad take in this context is going to be down to the same motivations as the previous one. the fact that the source is reputable means that more people are going to be able to overlook or smooth over the bad aspects of the argument Because they’re friends with this person or trust this person’s opinion. it can also be something that’s worth discussing if it puts different ideas that this person has spread in a new light that can change how they’re taken.

but still, this is one that you need to be more careful with, even if not including it would be dishonest. engaging with an unproductive conversation because of personal emotional stakes, particularly those that aren’t really substantial, is just going to be a frustrating experience for everyone involved. that doesn’t mean that there aren’t instances where it’s worth engaging with that conversation (whether that be directly or indirectly), but you need a level of Awareness and a way to temper your own reactions.

but a poorly worded take that’s built from the ground up on bad ideas and misconceptions that Isn’t from a reputable source and is actively confrontational enough to push away a more neutral observer has exactly no qualities that are worth engaging with. there Isn’t an idea that’s worth engaging with, it’s the implications that it has about the person who wrote it and the people who believe it that’s notable. and while that can lead to a conversation to be had about the fandom at large (how it treats certain concepts like mental illness as a whole, for example), it’s not worth it to engage with it Directly. all that does is serve to expose more people to it, Maybe with the catharsis of seeing someone you think is wrong be corrected.

but that catharsis only exists in a vacuum. the people who genuinely believe in an overtly nasty take aren’t going to back down or change their minds, and nobody who Can be reached was at risk of being convinced by them to begin with.

it’s something that you gawk at, it’s not an idea to seriously engage with.

that said, I’ve censored the link for exactly that reason, I don’t want to send my followers over to a bad take to get annoyed by and I don’t want to be bothered by the people who Do genuinely believe in it.

that said, here’s a warning that there’s a truly Abysmal c!tommy take in the tommyinnit tag. a real dream apologist manifesto 2, except this time plastered over your dashboard instead of secluded to a google doc that got deleted the second it blew up. so stay safe out there kids

#discourse #fandom critical #the fact that I had more to say about being sent a link to the post #than the actual post itself #tells you everything you need to know about the quality of the ideas being presented

[lookwhatilost]

to return to this thought and keep it relatively brief, tumblr 2011-2014 wasn't what most people outside tumblr thought it was. The popular perception outside here was that it was some sort of sjw hellhole, when in reality, it's better thought of at the time as a warzone, with no particular side really having total control of the site. i would say that until 2014, in general, the anti-sjw side was winning, and of course the "hipster side of tumblr" (read: normal people who use instagram now) was always the biggest, and the "fandom side" could go either way depending on which part of the fandom you walked into.

within the sjw side of tumblr, you had a lot of different factions, which more or less unified into one unruly chaotic blob sometime around 2017-ish. but in 2014, the anime communists were still a relatively small faction on the site, and the bigger names on the sjw side were people like medievalpoc, who was notoriously exposed as lying about their ethnicity and for getting a significant amount of the history wrong or oversimplified (the blog's theme in case you forgot, was to point out non-white people existing in european history). other things are a lot like how people might imagine – great focus placed on offensive jokes, on particular approaches to social issues, things like that. but what might surprise people who didn't use tumblr at the time, is that a lot of the people who were in that sjw side were very different to the outside perception of tumblr as being soft and sad about having ~le fee fees hurt~, but were actually extremely aggressive people, o, were just people who held a real life ideology that basically matched the people who say, comment on youtube and say that huey's ronald reagan speech in the boondocks represents them perfectly.

something changed around 2015-ish. whereas before, most people would respond to someone saying "cisheteropatriarchy sounds weird lol" or "these critical theory texts sound a little goofy" with defensive and earnest explanations of why you only think this because of a particular bias society has inspired in you, the freedom to actually be able to make fun of this stuff developed. I remember distinctly posts about bikini bottom written in the style of critical theory discourse at the time, and in fact, this is the year that gave us the actual term discourse as it's used on the internet now! it comes from here, of this era! it was a term that was used by tumblr leftists to make fun of what tumblr leftism was like, primarily arguments after argument after argument over the most inane shit (yes, even to us) with no resolution in sight, but also over things you were convinced had to be important, melded together with the inane shit in a way where nobody could cleanly separate the two. hence, why it just got reduced to the discourse chef meme image, to sort of sum up a general frustration with what existed at the time.

this transition from the earnest white feminist posting to aggressive irony leftism never actually stopped, it just kept going and going and going, until now on you can use homophobic slurs and tell people to kill themselves and it's generally socially acceptable. not to say current tumblr is good or a haven of epistemic perfection, but it's stupid in different ways than most people imagine because almost nobody has actually ever used tumblr, and so most people can't imagine what it was actually like.

it's quite bizarre that this is one of the most influential websites and subcultures of all time, but also is barely actually known and understood by nearly anyone, and almost all of this is because this website has like the worst fucking SEO ever, and whenever I want to find an old, famous post, no I can't lol, I feel very very lucky whenever I manage to locate a post from the old days that sums everything up for me (I have a particular favorite about discourse flip flopping). it's not documented well. there are popular tumblr posts out there – in fact, I can even think of ones that I wrote and are spread around in screenshots – that only make true sense in the context of what other posts were popular on different dashboards at the time, and that's knowledge that's almost completely lost to time and that you had to be there for. everything else important about tumblr is even more poorly documented. i think the internet would be a very different place if tumblr had had good SEO all along.

#politics n culture

[takerfoxx]

What Your Favorite Puella Magi Madoka Magica Ship Says About You

Inspired by DoubleCa5t's series, and since we're probably going to get an official video sooner or later, I'm putting my version out while I can.

Also, this is all in good fun, so don't take any teasing seriously.

...

MadoHomu (Madoka X Homura)

You are a firm believe in the inherent eroticism of this image.

You have episode ten memorized.

You have a very specific emotional reaction to “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper.

You have severe problems with The Rebellion Story, particularly in how it upended the optimistic note that the original series ended on and recontextualized Homura’s devotion to Madoka as something unhealthy and even toxic, but you still can’t bring yourself to reject the movie entirely, because at the end of the day, even you have to admit that damn, that dress.

The phrase, “X character did nothing wrong” pops up a lot in your internet discourse.

You ship CatraDora.

KyouSaya (Kyouko X Sayaka)

You’re always a sucker for how the dynamic of Enemies to Lovers shifts from antagonism to devotion without losing its obsessive intensity.

Your ideal date can best be summed up as Be Gay, Do Crimes…after which you have to call your responsible friend to come bail both of you out.

You know that important stuff happens after episode nine, but to be quite frank, at that point you were too emotionally traumatized to get invested and were only watching out of a feeling of obligation.

You were uncharacteristically smug after watching The Rebellion Story despite what disproportionately little screentime your ship received.

You also ship CatraDora.

MadoSaya (Madoka X Sayaka)

You don’t understand what all the fuss is about when it comes to Enemies to Lovers when there’s a perfectly good Friends to Lovers right there.

This is the same joke as the first part of MadoHomu, but with the Hot Topic switched out for a Footlocker.

You lost your mind on 4chan over Persephone’s Waltz on more than one occasion and for more than one reason (hey, ErinPtah!).

KyouMami (Kyouko X Mami)

You read A Different Story, and probably listened to that one audio drama.

You’re a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of exes that still long for one another.

You feel that a lot of the issues that both these characters struggle with stem from how messy their falling out was, and had Mami been more supportive and Kyouko not abandoned her after the death of Kyouko’s family, a whole lot of grief could have been avoided.

MamiSaya (Mami X Sayaka)

Your ideal date is getting sempai to notice you.

You have gotten into at least one altercation with Anticrack-Kun.

MadoMami (Madoka X Mami)

Your ideal date is getting kouhai to notice you.

You’re just here for some girls being friends, gals being pals.

MamiNagi (Mami X Nagisa)

You were already shipping Mami with the human form of Charlotte before The Rebellion Story came out, and even afterward you’re still unwilling to let go despite how uncomfortable it makes you now, to the point where “Aged Up Characters” is a regular tag in your ao3 searches.

Either that, or…

HomuMami (Homura X Mami)

You’re a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of passive-aggressiveness.

You were tilting your head in a particular manner during that scene where Mami ties up Homura, and feel that how it ended was a real missed opportunity.

You had to pause The Rebellion Story for about five minutes after the gunfight, and after you continued you shouted, “Goddamn it, Sayaka!” out loud.

HomuSaya (Homura X Sayaka)

This is the same joke as the first part of MadoHomu, but with the Sanrio switched out for a Footlocker.

Your favorite ao3 tag is “Hatesex.”

KyouHomu (Kyouko X Homura)

You know what's better than one edgy badass girl with a tragic past? Two edgy badass girls with a tragic past.

You felt that both these characters spent too much energy pursuing someone that just weren't into them as they were, and would better off settling with someone on more equal footing.

You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of game recognizing game.

You really wish that they reached that ramen shop in the movie.

KyouMado (Kyouko X Madoka)

Your favorite highschool relationship dynamic is edgy delinquent/ray of sunshine.

You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of “gap moe.”

HitoSuke (Hitomi X Kyousuke)

You feel that these two characters get way too much hate, and everything that happened wasn’t their fault. Like, come on, guys. How could they have known that their teenaged relationship drama would be exploited by a race of emotionless alien groomers?

Your main priority is keeping things canon…and you don’t have a whole lot else to work with.

HitoSaya (Hitomi X Sayaka)

You feel that the most effective way of resolving a love triangle is eliminating the heterosexual options.

You feel that when Hitomi declared, “Girls can’t love girls!”, Sayaka’s reaction ought to have been, “Challenged accepted.”

SayaSuke (Sayaka X Kyousuke)

You just want good things for Sayaka, but only in a first four episodes kind of way.

You are heterosexual.

SayaHitoSuke (Sayaka X Hitomi X Kyousuke)

You feel that the best way of resolving a love triangle is by connecting the bottom two axis.

You are heterosexual. Or possibly bisexual. Well, regardless, you are really horny.

HomuHito (Homura X Hitomi)

You’ve played the portable game.

MadoHito (Madoka X Hitomi)

You are constantly frustrated at how little attention this ship receives. After all, weren’t they friends too? But instead people seem to be more focused on shipping characters that don’t even like each other or never even interact in the show, and at this point you’re just glad that I acknowledged it in this silly meme post.

MamiHito (Mami X Hitomi)

You want to be a wealthy, unmarried Victorian duchess who is noted by history for your incredibly close relationship with your lovely companion who lives with you, does everything with you, up to and including sharing a bed, and after both of your deaths scholars will make note of what great friends you must have been.

KyouHito (Kyouko X Hitomi)

You were going out of your way to piss off Anticrack-kun. And really, who wouldn’t?

KyouSuke (Kyouko X Kyousuke)

You were going out of your way to piss off everybody, and I salute your courage.

HomuJun (Homura X Junko)

You are really into Pixar moms.

Also, obligatory…

KazuJun (Kazuko X Junko)

This is the same joke as the second part of MadoMami, but you’re also really into Pixar moms.

MadoKyu (Madoka X Kyubey)

I can’t say for certain whether or not you’re a monsterfucker, but you certainly enjoy the chaos that the very implication of this ship creates.

PolyMegucas (Madoka X Sayaka X Homura X Kyouko X Mami)

You don’t understand why there has to be so much drama between all these different pairings. All the girls are wonderful in their own ways, and they would be so much happier if they just stopped fighting, formed a loving and mutually supportive team dynamic as was seen in the first part of the movie, and possibly smooched one another.

Also, you are extremely horny.

#puella magi madoka magica #pmmm #homura akemi #kyousaya #kyosaya #mamisaya #kyoumami #kyomami #madomami #madosaya #homumami #homusaya #maminagi #mamilotte #kyoumado #kyomado #hitosuke #sayasuke #hitosaya #sayahitosuke #madohito #mamihito #kyouhito #kyohito #kyousuke #homujun #kazujun #madokyu #polymegucas #madoka kaname