#they want us to think we can do it alone

[starry-bi-sky]

okay so i was thinking of a joke earlier about how in DPDC Amity Park's slogan "a great place to live" is not only city propaganda but also the city lording it over the rest of America for being normal. But then I remembered that, despite how many DCU Cities with heroes in it there are, the amount of cities in America without heroes still far outnumber the amount of cities in America WITH heroes.

So I did a little digging so the joke would still land. Something most heroes have in common is that they operate in major cities. What makes a major city? I found that the general consensus is that the population is roughly over or around a million. THEN I looked up the populations of cities in the DCU that I thought of off the top of my head. So Gotham, Metropolis, Starling City, Central City, Jump City. All of them ranked up to millions in population (most of them were in the tens of millions).

Amity Park's wikipedia describes it as being similar to specifically Philadelphia, Chicago, and San Francisco.

Philadelphia's Population: 1.576 million as of 2021 Chicago's Population: 2.697 million as of 2021 San Francisco: 815,201 as of 2021

Whiiich means that Amity Park if we take that from canon, is probably a major city. There are approximately 19,000 cities in America with probably less than a hundred that are major cities. Adding the DCU major cities wouldn't skew the data too much.

Which MEANS that I can make the joke that Amity Park's "great place to live" is not only just typical city propaganda, but also its Amity Park lording it over the other major cities for being one of the only major cities that doesn't have problems bad enough to warrant a superhero or a vigilante. Cue stage left the Fentons and Phantom :)

Amity Parkers were probably SO proud that they didn't need a superhero. They didn't have to worry about things like 'world ending threats' and 'super-powered individuals' and 'staggering property damage'. And then enter Fentons.

It also could be used as an excuse for why nobody took notice to Amity Park getting ghosts if folks like me aren't huge fans of the notion of a media blackout via Tucker, Technus, or the US Government. Or if you want to keep Amity Park as its urban city self. Amity Park's news on ghosts gets drowned out in a week because there's news on more popular, well-known cities going on every other day. The shit going on in Amity Park is every other major city's regular Tuesday and it gets filtered as such.

#dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #dpdc #plus amity suddenly going 'we have ghosts' could be seen as a case of city-wide FOMO finally hitting so nobody believes them #and thats if the belief of ghosts not being real is as strong as it is in dp canon #the media blackout could also be /city-induced/ too #where amity parkers are so proud of being 'normal' and 'not having superheros' that many of them try and deny the existence of Phantom #and the mayor and news sources themselves just. stubbornly refuse to let news of ghosts get out to the other cities #do you know how much shit they'll get?? they'll be a laughingstock! #gothamites would never leave them alone. neither would central city or the metropolitans or starling city or-- #the other big cities will make fun of them :( #my new favorite hc that stemmed from this is that every major city in the dcu is rivaling with each other #there's a lot you can experiment with this idea imo lmao #this whole post sums up my writing and thinking process pr well tbh #this stemmed because im making a childhood friends au short story doc and wanted to avoid the typical tropes about how AP went undetected #from the rest of the US. bc. im not a fan of the media blackout idea via tucker/technus/gov and i wanted to keep AP an urban city #so i had to come up with something else #hence me looking into DCU cities and how many there are and realizing that there is a decent amount of other cities other than the main #popular ones and being DELIGHTED because then i could use that as an excuse for why amity went overlooked. bc there are many cities with #heroes in it. so its not surprising if another city gets a hero TOO. plus the news also focusing on more popular heroes and cities so again #the news of amity getting a hero gets drowned out by whatever new thing the JL or someone from the JL did that week

[uncanny-tranny]

In discussions about mental health, I am so tired of the only voices mattering being other people or other people who do not deal with a condition/disorder or a specific situation.

"Here's how I deal with loved ones with [x] condition!"

"If you do [y] because of [x mental health reason], you're selfish and everybody who loves you is having their lives made harder by you!"

"If your symptoms are [z], you're gross, and you deserve no sympathy for struggling"

I understand to an extent why people do this, but holy hell, as somebody who struggles and struggles often, the last thing any of us need to be told is that we're a burden that others have to carry. And it's terrible how everybody else's feelings but ours matter - even if we are the ones most affected by our condition or situation.

If you are dealing with issues surrounding your mental health and well-being, know that everything above isn't true; you are worthy of patience, understanding, kindness, and love. You are worthy of being listened to without judgment. You don't have to apologize or "make up" for who you are or what you struggle with.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #sanism #sanism tw #ableism #ableism tw #since when do we just go 'you're sick? well I'M more affected by YOUR illness than YOU are so my voice matters MORE' #i'm actually genuinely angry that people think saying stuff like that is appropriate #and when i say 'deal with' i mean when people treat those they say they love like a burden #simultaneously discussions about mental health have gotten better and have stay horrific and lack compassion or nuance #like people have more words to describe mental health but they cling to their disgust for us ~insanes~ like it's a lifeline #TW FOR MENTIONS OF SUIDIDE AFTER THIS TAG #when i actively wanted to take my life being told that i was selfish did NOT help. it made the desires STRONGER #because i had something ELSE to use to justify why my death was imperative. if i was selfish then why do i deserve others? #do you see why these discussions are harmful at *best* and can be the final factor in a decision like that? #sure. maybe those discussions alone won't be what pushes somebody to pass like that. #but it will have contributed to the demonization of mentally ill people #those discussions aren't going to save us from suicidality or something equally seen as drastic #videos like abigail thorn's cosmonaut video were actually way *more* helpful because she was compassionate #she provided compassion and empathy and was vulnerable enough to share her *own* experiences #i think i'm going to re-watch it for the....... 500th time #i'm so glad she kept her old videos up. this one is one of my favourites #heavy watch but i forever will be grateful to her and the others who helped me out of that pit

[fakeoutbf]

five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety

#walk with me #this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere #the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad #count on the person** #i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them #in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other #it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time #idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too #so we’ve been more properly friends lately #and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to #gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it #and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention #(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention) #anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all #weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone #so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever #and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more #and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted #they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture #and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek #i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on #bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other #flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc #i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed #but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers #and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious?????? #your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up??? #if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right??? #so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend #delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something

[bigothteddies]

one of my dreams as a bright-eyed freshie noob nsfw tumblr user was to one day have my own place with tons of extra rooms and to have partners and kink friends rotating in an out of the house like all the old big kink creators used to on here, making content and gif sets with my friends and enjoying our sexuality together

#unimportant thoughts #doable still? maybe one day #I don’t know ! #used to dream about it a lot #there used to be a big (since cancelled) creator that did a lot of stuff like that #creators would come and stay in his house for month(s) long vacations in between jobs and school #like could you imagine? #going and living with a creator you love for a summer? #getting to make content together snd have fun with no stress or pressure? #I don’t know maybe im alone in this! #BUT #I don’t know itd be nice! #i love the idea of being a Home #maybe not peoples permanent home #i csnt imagine being a lot of peoples healthy long time permanent partner lol #but yk its enough to be Somebody in peoples lives yk? #im happy to be someone who was right for you for a little while #be it a few months or a summer or a year or a few years #im happy with that #i want to end it on a high note and keep going as friends after #i want to still have occasional flings and catch up on each orhers lives all the time #i dont think i can be everyones forever #and itd be greedy to think i could be ! #but i want to be someone people look back on fondly #that people say ‘he was a good influence in my life. i’m happy I was with him. he was the right person for me in a lot of ways’ #i want to be someone people are proud of havin been involved with #i want those tumblr gifsets and relationship maps and talking about how x is moving out to go to grad school soon but we still love each #other and im proud of them for moving to the next stage in life #i want to be a revolving door thats always open! #but it only works if other people want it too! and if those people DO actually value me like tjat

[oatbugs]

pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me! #LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️ #but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

[maddy-ferguson]

i don't like j0pper either but when people say joyce should've stayed with bob they always lose me because i have a hard time believing she even liked the man

#like hardcore twitter j0ppers have a point i fear she wasn't amused by his antics #and narratively he's very much her el and her steve the normal she can't go back to after the upside down stuff (like him wanting them to #move to maine) #something else about joyce and hopper. when someone said i don't think hopper's homophobic for saying like is he in s1 (i don't think he #would be based on that alone like it's not a convincing argument to me at all) someone else said you're crazy to think joyce would get #with a man who could be homophobic she would never do that to will when like. wasn't murray's whole thing in s3 that joyce didn't #like that hopper was a brute but that she also kinda liked it. now why they would choose to highlight that instead of continuing on the #path of s1-s2 j0pper idk but just. it's funny that they'd immediately go joyce would never do that to will when like. yeah. #i do think bob was the better choice...for will's stepdad lol. for joyce idk. #for jonathan...no idea #and hardcore j0ppers are cute when they say how dare you base your opinion of hopper on s3 that's like three days in his entire life WELL #we only spend one week a year with these characters blame the duffers for giving us this side of hopper and for leaving us with that for 3 #years. but i can also find stuff i don't like about him in other seasons so we're fine #and like i say: brf slt

[divorcedfiddleford]

i already know what the story behind the picture is but please explain it anyway we need to educate the masses

oh my god thank you for enabling me ive been thinking about this all day. regarding this post i made yesterday and this classic image (which i actually just found out was posted seven years ago today!)

basically as can be read in the post at BigFest in 2016 somebody had what i believe was a fan-made prop based on the laptop from season 2 of gravity falls. alex hirsch attended this convention and decided to type in the password to the laptop. we never learned the password in the show so lots of people were excited to find out!

a HUGE thing to note here is that journal 3 was still months away from releasing and in fact while a couple pages had been released as promotional material it was still being worked on until, like... gosh i wanna say may is when they finally started printing it? don't quote me on that though my point is that this was all taking place pre-journal 3 and, therefore, many fans were still operating under the (sensible) impression that the laptop which

had been designed by fiddleford

had been built by fiddleford

had fiddleford's name on it

said "PROPERTY OF F" on it (at this point it had been established through promo images that "F" referred to fiddleford)

was assumed to be fiddleford's by, like, four different main characters

was given to and used by fiddleford following s2e7

fiddleford presumably knew the password to

would also belong to fiddleford. right? i mean logically. logically, guys.

so when alex hirsch revealed that the password had been "STANFORD" all along, people thought that was a little bit... well

of course, a couple months later journal 3 would be published and it would say that the laptop had actually been STANFORD'S, not fiddleford's, and that he had made the password his own name. so technically i lied in my earlier post, there IS a heterosexual explanation for this, but imo it's still bullshit. like sorry i don't believe for a fucking second that stanford "i need to encode all of my messages in multiple ciphers and write in invisible ink" pines would ever make a password as simple as his own name. he wouldve picked like something with six different layers of alternate meanings and also put it through atbash at the VERY least. also as i listed above there is a LOT of evidence which would support the laptop belonging to fiddleford, as opposed to ford, which has this random retcon (and like... some of the computer keys are different colors? i guess?? idk that bit was stupid) as its only supporting evidence.

my theory is that, while writing the show, alex and the other writers had intended for the laptop to belong to fiddleford, but for whatever reason, when they were writing the book, they decided to make it ford's instead. i want to make clear that i DON'T think this swap was motivated by homophobia, or as a reaction to seeing people interpret the password in a gay way. by the time that this photo was taken several promotional journal pages had been released, so it's safe to say that even if they were still adding the finishing touches to the book, it was pretty much in its final stage and in fact might have already started printing (i think the first photos we see of the book itself were posted like a week or two after bigfest). so to assume that there's a correlation there is both unfounded and extremely unlikely.

now, the stargazing scene reprint, on the other hand

#long post #gravity falls #fiddauthor #<- why the fuck not. it's midnight no one can judge me #why are you as a man making your computer password the name of the man you live alone in the woods with #sorry anon i doubt think this is what you had in mind when you said “explain it” LMAO #tales of the wild zeep #uhhh a couple other notes #1. i do not know who made the laptop prop at bigfest. i assumed it was a fan but i wasn't there i really don't know #2. i said may is when they started printing the book but i have literally no source for that #it is a guess based on when promotional photos were being posted #3. i say “fiddleford presumably knew the password to [the laptop]” and i just wanted to explain my reasoning there #basically in s2e10 fiddleford says that he “fixed” the laptop and is shown using it #we also see it at the start of the following episode being used to monitor the activity of the portal #now. i am not a computer engineer. i am mediocre with computers at best. #but based on what i have been told. when you are faced with a password screen. there are two ways to proceed #one way is to reset the computer's hard drive entirely‚ to... “erase its memory” if you will #however this would result in one being unable to access any of the information which had previously been stored there #considering that we see fiddleford using the laptop to monitor the portal's activity i believe that its files must have been intact #so we can rule out resetting as an option #the other way to proceed is by. um. knowing the password. and entering it #so THAT'S why i say that he PRESUMABLY knew the password. #now it's entirely possible that he was able to hack into the laptop or something. he is a mechanical genius and he built it after all #i'm just saying that i think it's far more likely that he just. knew the password. #which is honestly really funny and still kind of gay if you believe the whole “the laptop was actually ford's” thing #why are you as a man telling your computer password to the man you live alone in the woods with when you wont even write it in your diary #fucking apologies for this OCEAN of tags. ive done taxes all day im an adult im allowed to infodump about old hyperfixations as a treat

[andthebeanstalk]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

Better accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues should suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things!

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to take to cut your awkward self some slack for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

#social skills #i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag #original #maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title #in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You' #or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am #challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong. #and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment #for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the #most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than #most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny #(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility. #and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by #being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating #i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate #I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity. #when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to #really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would #go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people #it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party' #it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them #stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!' #I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in #order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially #autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules #and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules #but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!! #i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird?? #I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind. #also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too

[wantbytaemin]

it’s 1.18 am and i can’t sleep bc there’s a thunderstorm and i’m scared of them like a big loser so. don’t hold me accountable for my thoughts and feelings but

#i was just thinking about my day today and how i wrote in the tags after my nap i wanted to maybe go to ikea and so i presented my roommate #with the idea and she said yes ofc i was thinking of doing something too! and so we went to ikea and we got there and they have stairs and #escalators there and she was like ‘what type of day is it?’ nodding at the escalator and i know she prefers the stairs #and i have better and worse days in terms of how much i can do physically before getting winded/dizzy and i haven’t told her it’s been all #bad days lately LMAO bc ahhh i hate worrying people and i have ANOTHER cardiologist appointment next week anyway so no harm done but #the fact that she asks and then goes with me. it catches me so off guard still it’s truly something wondrous to be taken into account #i was really used to being overlooked not among peers but in my everyday family/at home life #and i still can’t believe how easy it feels for her (and my other friends) to take me into account and to just. idk. love me i guess? #i always think i’m impossible to care about on a true level beyond the surface let alone be loved #what a ride life is

[sysig]

One better (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Blood #I knew going into this and it was still so distressing :'0 #Who needs plot twists when you can create such an intense sense of Dread #Probably doesn't help that I read this At Night In the Dark lol - actual shivers #Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha #The way that ''Doctor'' is written is So skillful - I'm so impressed by everyone's prose and quirks and syntax! #Not to mention when he breaks character in a later scene to apologize for taking a bit to move the scene along haha <3 Play!! #It really does speak to just how much skill and effort is put into everything <3 It's so well done all the way around!! #Anyway to the actual scene at hand lol ow :') Drawing blood is always fun but I wish it wasn't his ;u; #Ugh the way he takes the surgeries is so well written - fear of course but a kind of stoic suffering as much as he's able to - #Until it comes to his eye #Ugh the /break/ of it all he goes from so eloquent - almost snarky and silly! Still trying to find an out make peace do /something/ #It all goes completely out the window he's so /reduced/ and nothing hurts worse than that ughughugh #For all his intelligence and wit and prior successes and charm and just - everything that makes him /him/ to be dissolved into abject fear #It's so sad ;; And so well done <3 #And he still holds enough of himself to know what he'd be losing wegh it's so sad!! He's so defined by his vision as most VUX are it's fjdsl #Zelnick is already gone by this point but I wanted to throw him in for extra sad flavour :') #Plus - I've mentioned his post-Op was one of the ones from the gallery that Actively kills me every time I look at it #Can you imagine my heartbreak to find out that he didn't have his Captain to comfort him after this in actuality? That he was fully alone? #''Are we home? Is it over?'' ''N...not yet'' - The Absolute Devastation of realizing that Never Was not really #Just tear my heart out why don't you ugh I'm fully bleeding out 💔 #That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :) #I think it's such a waste that his eye was just disposed of! Someone else could've used that (lol) #I do think there's something to the idea of seeing what used to be a part of your body elsewhere - like the Leftovers! #Even just keeping as a memento tho - a trophy - insult to injury but literally #Just points to no one being special and nothing being sacred I suppose

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

Easter Greetings by the President of Ukraine

Great People of Great Ukraine!

Today we celebrate a significant holiday — the Resurrection of the Lord. Easter. Easter symbolizes the liberation of the human soul from the slavery of evil and darkness. It symbolizes the victory of goodness and justice, the victory of life over death.

We have been fighting for all of this for 802 days in a row. 802 days of freedom standing up to darkness, valor standing up to terror. 802 days of our resistance, which can be described by the words from the Gospel of John: "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it…"

The exact same words are dedicated to one of the exhibitions at St. Sophia Cathedral, where I am now. Together, this exhibition and the other works by various Ukrainian artists convey a deep meaning. These are the icons on ammunition boxes. They are saturated with the smoke of our land and the spirit of our people. They are the symbols of great trials and great power that helps us overcome them. Each of these icons is like a divine manifestation, a proof that the heavens are with us, an answer to the question of why Ukrainians have withstood. It is because in the most difficult circumstances and in the darkest times we are able to create light. We can do it on boards scorched by fire and grief, that came from Ukrainian cities and villages exhausted by suffering. We can do this by combining the seemingly incompatible: the war and the Lord, by overcoming evil with faith, overcoming adversity with hope.

When taking a closer look at these icons, one can understand the feelings of our entire nation. It's a mirror that reflects our reality in times of war, the path we have already taken, and this Easter, and our entire present. This is what our amulets look like today. This is how we feel that God is protecting us through the hands of our warriors. This is how we see the protection of the heavenly forces, embodied in the Security and Defense Forces of Ukraine, every Ukrainian who devotes themself to the sacred cause of defending their native land from darkness and evil.

These icons bear the names of heroes who sacrificed their lives to protect us. They showed that Ukrainians kneel only to pray. And never do they kneel in front of invaders and occupiers.

The Bible teaches us to love our neighbor. And the present has shown us the true meaning of this word. When we support and help each other even hundreds of kilometers away from one another. We protect each other. We pray for each other. When we all have become closer to each other, we have become each other's neighbors. And our former neighbor, who was always making us take him for a brother, remains distant from us for centuries. They have broken all the commandments, coveted our house, and come to kill us. The world sees it.

God knows it. And we believe that there is a chevron with the Ukrainian flag on the shoulder of God. Therefore, with such an ally, life will definitely prevail over death.

As we overcome a common path and experience common pain, we are all united today by one common prayer. We pray for all our warriors who are celebrating Easter in the trenches and on the positions. We pray for our warriors of light, who restrain demons in all directions. We pray for those who keep another commandment in their lives: to defend Ukraine. We pray that they all come back alive.

We pray for all our civilians who work hard every day to strengthen our state and ensure that it successfully overcomes evil. We pray for those who live and work for this purpose.

We pray for all our children, for all the boys and girls brave far beyond their years, whose childhood was stolen from them by Russia, but who, despite everything, have not forgotten how to smile and believe in miracles.

We pray for all our mothers and fathers who were robbed of a happy, peaceful aging, and who, despite everything, are holding on and taking care of us.

We pray for all our cities and villages, that should feel the Lord's grace, not the constant terror of evil, and which have black clouds hanging over them, and bombs and missiles coming from those who belong in hell, not in the Ukrainian sky.

We pray for our lands and our people, whose spirit cannot be broken. And we remember the words written in St. Sophia Cathedral above the Oranta image, which came true in our lives: "God is in the midst of the city, and it will not be shaken. God will help it before dawn.”

Today, we are praying for all Ukrainians who are waiting for this dawn and will certainly see it. They will find peace, truth, and God, who will return to the scorched land, the land scarred with craters and trenches. He will return with peace, tranquility, and flowers instead of mines in the fields. He will return with children's laughter instead of the roar of an air alarm. The light that will return to all of our Lord-given land, to all the territories that are temporarily occupied by the devils. God will return to Mariupol. To the slag heaps and the seashores. It has always been so. It will definitely be so. I believe in this every day, especially on this glorious day in this glorious place, the history of which reminds us that neither the Horde invasion, nor the Nazi occupation, nor the Russian terror will be able to wipe us off the face of the Earth.

May the heavens strengthen our will in the battle against thralldom. May they give us courage for new achievements and wisdom to appreciate all that we have already gained. May they give us the strength to maintain unity, and give us unity to enhance our strength. May God grant eternal rest to all those who gave their lives for Ukraine and everlasting peace to their descendants, to all our children and grandchildren, and to all our future generations. They have the sacred right to know what a peaceful Easter in a peaceful Ukraine is.

Today we pray for it and we fight for it.

And the light shines in the darkness...

Happy Easter to all of you, dear Ukrainians!

Christ is risen!

He is risen indeed!

#what a touching and moving greeting #perfect words again after over 800 days of full-scale war #always amazes me how he and his team are able to (still) do this #the shade at russia and all the “russia is your neighbour” people... #also loved the images he painted with his words #god wears a ukraine chevron... #for some reason this easter greeting felt a lot like the on in 2022 #maybe because the situation feels so weirdly similiar #lets hope this also means the same successes for ukraine and they can liberate land #i love how he always talks about the “we” #including all of his people #these videos are never about him and praising himself #theyre always about ukraine and its people in the end #a servant of his people i have said it before and i will say it till the end #this man breathes and lives for his country and his country alone #he is committed to it and his goal and only that #ready to sacrify himself if necessary to give them peace and a future #his people and all the kids of ukraine and with this also his kids #he may be small but he is one of the greatest #i always have to think back to that one interview where he said he wants to be of use #he wants to feel needed #he really wants to change something for the better #and he does #and he is needed so so much #even though this is the worst period of his time and he has to give up and sacrify the dearest thing to him #he probably finds his purpose in it #may he find peace and calm afterwards #surrounded by friends and family to grow old #Youtube #volodymyr zelensky

[plangentia]

group holidays are always fine in theory until people begin to grate on you on day 2

#namely my roommate #i just want to do things alone or not at his instruction !!!! #like i didn't want to go to bed now and i can hear the others fucking around outside #but he said goodnight all and shut the door so i guess we're going to bed #but we're not going to bed are we bc he's doing his full belly laugh every 30 seconds #hnnggghhhg #this is just a little vent but i'm so tired #and the two of us are never apart!!! #i love him but only in small doses #and i was not asked if i wanted to room with him. it just. got decided. #and i get why. it makes sense for a variety of reasons #but he's just driving me a little crazy #okay that's more of a vent than i thought it would be. i'm going to go for a walk tomorrow by myself i think

[iguinn]

NOT OUR BORDERLINE DEADBEAT OF A FATHER THREATENING TO CUT US OFF IF WE WONT SHOW HIM OUR COLLEGE GRADES AFTER WE QUIT COLLEGE CAUSE IT MADE US WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE AYISHDAGHJQWREFGY?????

#canções do rei #and lets just emphasize he did not pay a single cent for college tuition or tutoring or transportation #he bought us one calculator we already gave back cause we dont need it anymore #in fact he has invested nothing into our education all throughout the years #even before he and mom divorced #so like #empty ass fucking threats #he buys us gifts which like yeah #he is our dad but we are not involving him in our education since all he wanted us to us to have good grades so he can get bragging rights #and never help in anyway way with money even tho he has way more money that we ever had and left our mom broke when they separated #we dont think he has any right to claim any sort of involvement in our education and if we cut him off it will mean nothing other than #like less gifts but we can live with that who give a shit? #and no more data on our phone but whatever #like thats not shit we need at all so unless he coughs up the money for all our education he has no bussiness with our grades #or tbh? with anything related to schooling not what school we go to or what subjects were taking like all he wants is bragging rights #and we refuse to give him that he was a neglectful bitch and he will die alone

[bunnihearted]

i think the reason i always feel so lonely is bc rlly all i want is a romantic relationship that is kinda co-dependent but we love eo nd it works for us. idc that it's generally considered toxic. that's what i need nd want. like i do want to experience nd go thru life w someone always by my side. i need someone close to me all the time to seek quiet, verbal nd physical comfort nd reassurance from. i need to share the burden nd horrors of life w someone else. have their warmth nd closeness be an anchor for me.

#nd it wouldnt get 'too much' bc im actually not like that #i can be content w the same thing for sooooo long. thats comforting to me #nd like to have this we wouldnt need to be attached to the hips or anything. we could be in different rooms or go for a walk alone or whatev #but rlly i want someone to spend most my time w. i want someone where the love makes us want to be close even if we're silent #nd not doing anything. being alone yet together #there r prob lots of psychological reasons for this but honestly i dooont caaare #i want a comfortable life im sick of being scared. nd i dont want to be 'brave' or push myself to live how others want #idk.... i also think this would be realistically possible for me bc im not a person who fights lol #like i just dont. if im in a bad mood i say im in a badd mood i need to be quiet nd thats that. i can coexist without causing friction #but yeahhh it's (part of) why i constantly feel alone. this is what i need to feel truly satisfied nd nothing else can soothe it #📓💭

[villainsidestep]

oh survivor!fawn we are really in it now

#gideon shut the hell up challenge #people keep saying they’re sorry for your loss. Your Loss. that is how they refer to your brothers. how they refer to you. #you have always been one of three. part of the pack. and that has always been fine but now you are alone and you are not You but your loss. #julia says sorry for your loss. ricardo says sorry for your loss. you yell that it should be their loss too. it is everyone’s loss. #they have lost your brothers and now they have lost you too. (fate works in funny ways you think) #at the funeral people offer apologies. offer you flowers. offer you baked goods and stories of how [your loss] saved them or their mom or #their dad’s uncle’s wife’s coworker’s daughter’s friend from childhood or someone else equally unimportant. someone alive. #[I’m sorry for your loss] they all say and you do not say thank you. there is no being thankful for [your loss]. #[I’m sorry] says ricardo. you stop listening. [I’m sorry] says julia. you wonder if she said it to the man she punched. #you do not apologize back. you do not let it be [their loss]. it is yours. they have always been yours. #[I’m sorry] says chen . for river and cyrus. the first to use their names with you. to acknowledge them as your brothers. to make them more #than just the pieces of you that have been broken. and you thank him. #we like writing in tags sorry !!!! also at some point the original idea was that any parts of ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ #would start distorting and then get blacked out to show like. when u hear smth so much and esp w grief that u just block it out #anyway. survivor!fawn but still factoring in that chen is not afraid to just. Say Things. #esp in v3 I think the ortegas would be even more cautious w fawn out of wanting to not upset them and meanwhile chen is like yeah I’m gonna #just straight up acknowledge ur brothers for u bc I can tell that’s what u need #we are also thinking abt v3!au and fawn being heartbreak but. that’s not for this post obvs #verse: you are the survivor; you carry the guilt

[sotogalmo]

11:33

Woke up a few minutes ago. Was a bit confused on why my Google was on Sonic The Fighters wiki. But then like. Remembered about my sonic.exe OC: Tachyglossidae.(exe).

And all.

#time diary(?) #audrey/kellie's time diary #letting the brain talk #Tachyglossidae.(exe) #i just. rlly want to being something new to the table of EXEs. yk? and well since by. design wise Tachyglossidae is very very different from #most EXEs.. and by i said “disguise”s like. 3-4 times? when having like. just simple drawings of her- #but the most different it can be is just by the fact that im using Sonic The Fighters game as a base for her whole deal #and stuff. but i really like on how Lord X Guardians are yk? gaurdians of specific-ish things. Ken'o being Disgust ; Kofuku's Joy #and tbh my favorite one: Yokubo is desire. also Zetsubo just being his name: Despair. is just. so cool #like. Lord X is not alone. there are others with him. and rhey are all like. guardians of action(Kito: prayer) and feelings(Yokubo/Gekido/ #Zetsubo/Kofuku/Ken'o/Kyofu). and i just. OUGG. thats just so good. having a Lord and then. guardians? thats so good #and well. it kinda just made me think of how im making Tachyglossidae.(exe). yk? I have too many versions of her #that at this point they could also be like the guardians! — but ofc they are just going to be different levels of anger #thats her main thing and kinda. basically why i made her tbh. i was having anger in my mind just so i can get that out of the way #since. she kinda is just gonna be my own manifestations of my own rage/wrath. — but then i have to like. add in #but i still dont rlly know just WHAT exactly i have to do with her to make her very. appealing to others. without saying #that shes my manifastations of.my own feelings. because tbh. i just almost always very lightly project myself onto characters #and just. yeah. but like. i dunno whats NEW and INTERESTING that i can do with her without making her. just a rage filled #being for a reason. we already have that. in like. so many EXE OCs... and mine is just gonna be another one..but OUGH