#this bunny survived the OVAs

[motmotfluttersforth]

It’s laced with drugs.

Ryo Asuka, Akira Fudo... and Snowtail. A gift from @tristikovart that I colored/shaded.

#devilman #akira fudo #ryo asuka #cute gay #fan art #this bunny survived the OVAs

[fandoms-anime-reviews]

What I Plan to Watch: Spring 2022

So with the Winter anime wrapping up and the Spring anime approaching, I went through the upcoming titles on MAL and tried to narrow down a few choices. 

Suffice to say I shall be dying. 

But fear not! I will try very hard to watch as much of the Spring Season as possible. 

So follow along with me as we try to go over briefly what I plan to watch this coming season. To make things a little easier, I’ll be sorting them by week of estimated release, while also keeping OVAs, ONAs, and Movies separate. Once the list is finalized I shall be updating my “Currently Watching” list. 

Also, I’m not going to go over the synopsis of each show in this post. We’d be here too long. So I’m just going to list the names, their estimated air date, and if you want to look them up later or you want to message me in the inbox about them after reading this post, you can do that. 

Without further ado, let’s get to it!

APRIL 1st - 7th

Oh boy. Here we go. 

April 1st

Shokei Shoujo no Virgin Road

April 2nd

Love All Play       

Gunjou no Fanfare

Aharen-san wa Hakarenai

Rikei ga Koi ni Ochita no de Shoumei shitemita. Heart 

April 3rd

Black★★Rock Shooter: Dawn Fall

Otome Game Sekai wa Mob ni Kibishii Sekai desu

April 4th

Healer Girl

April 5th

Paripi Koumei

Yuusha, Yamemasu

April 6th

Birdie Wing: Golf Girls' Story

Tomodachi Game

Estab-Life: Great Escape

Deaimon

April 7th

Shachiku-san wa Youjo Yuurei ni Iyasaretai

Heroine Tarumono! Kiraware Heroine to Naisho no Oshigoto

APRIL 8th - 14th

Much smaller than week 1. 

April 8th

Koi wa Sekai Seifuku no Ato de

Mahoutsukai Reimeiki

April 9th

Dance Dance Danseur

Spy x Family

April 10th

Kawaii dake ja Nai Shikimori-san

April 12th

Honzuki no Gekokujou: Shisho ni Naru Tame ni wa Shudan wo Erandeiraremasen 3rd Season

APRIL 15th - 30th

I merged the last two weeks of April together because there isn’t really much airing that I plan on watching during those weeks. 

April 15th

Summertime Render

April 24th

Kakkou no Iinazuke

And now, onto the remainders! 

OVAs, ONAs, and Movies

ONAs 

April 8th

Tiger and Bunny 2

Bubble

OVA

June 17th

Kaitou Queen wa Circus ga Osuki

MOVIES

April 1st

Odd Taxi Movie: In the Woods

May 20th

5-toubun no Hanayome Movie

June 3rd

Tongari Atama no Gonta: Futatsu no Namae wo Ikita Fukushima Hisai Inu no Monogatari

Wish me luck everyone because I do not know how I shall survive this. 

If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this post. Are there any I missed? Any you’re excited for? Let me know!

Hope you all have a wonderful day. 

#fandom reviews #anime #shokei shoujo no virgin road #love all play #gunjou no fanfare #aheren-san wa hakarenai #rikei ga koi ni ochita no de shoumei shitemita #black rock shooter #otome game sekai wa mob ni kibishii sekai desu #healer girl #paripi koumei #yuusha yumemasu #birdie wing #tomodachi game #estab life #deaimon #sachiku-san wa youjo yuurei ni iyasaretai #heroine tarumono #koi wa sekai seifuku no ato de #spy x family #summertime render #kawaii dake ja nai shikimori-san #5-toubun no hanayome #Odd Taxi #tiger and bunny

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 51-56

This is the “Seras Coming of Age” part of Hellsing, but the chapters are all one-off titles: “Last Mission”, “Get Away”, “Yaksa”, “The Man I Love”, “Ogre Battle”, and “Angelous,”

Last time, Zorin Blitz’s company invaded the Hellsing HQ, and Seras managed to kill them all except for Zorin herself, and then she used her psychic whammy, forcing Seras to relive some traumatic moment.   We saw one of the Wild Geese get this same treatment, and he briefly saw his dead daughter before Zorin killed him.  As for Seras, she relives the deaths of her parents.   Years ago, two guys barged into their home and shot them.   The circumstances aren’t entirely clear, but they must have had some forewarning, since Seras’ mom hid her in a closet and told her not to come out no matter what.   But when she saw what they did to them, Seras became so enraged that she attackedthe men and stabbed one in the eye with a fork.  

The other guy shot Seras, and while she must have survived, she remembers laying on the floor as the guy she stabbed decides to rape her mother.   I’m not even sure “rape” is the right word, since she was already dead, but the guy doesn’t care because the body is “still warm.”   You’d think he’d be too upset about losing an eye, but maybe he’s high on cocaine or something.

I don’t think you need me to tell you this, gentle reader, but hol-ee shit this dark.   We knew Seras’ parents died when she was young, and it wouldn’t be hard to speculate that they died in some violent crime, but Seras watched it happen, and she stabbed a dude in the face, only to get shot herself, and she watched her mother’s body getting molested before she passed out.  

And this gives us some insight into what Alucard saw in her that night in Cheddar.  There, Seras was surrounded by ghouls, many of them her comrades in the police department, and a vampire who promised to rape her before drinking her blood.   Alucard found it remarkable how she persevered in this horror, but now we see that may not even be the worst thing that ever happened to her.  It’s not even the first time she got shot!  

And from the earlier flashback we saw, Seras was hellbound to become a police officer like her father.  After a trauma like this, it’s amazing that she’d want anything to do with the police, since those men killed her father for digging “too deep” into whatever they were involved in.  But Seras quietly, defiantly chose to follow in her father’s footsteps, only to suffer a similar fate. 

Because, let’s not forget, Seras is dead.   She died in Cheddar, because Alucard had to shoot through her to kill the vampire who had taken her hostage.   Then she agreed to become a vampire like him, and join the Hellsing Organization.   Once more, she has quietly, defiantly, chosen to carry on in this life of public service.  

But none of that matters to Zorin Blitz.   She just wanted to dredge up all this trauma to keep Seras preoccupied long enough for Zorin to do this...

Oh, also she lopped off Seras’ left arm, but I liked this impalement panel better. 

On top of that, Zorin slashes Seras’ eyes, which was pretty gruesome and shocking.   When I started watching the Hellsing Ultimate OVA, I couldn’t wait to see what happened next, so I trawled YouTube for clips of Seras, so I had a pretty good idea where the character was headed, and noticed that late-story Seras was missing a left arm.   So Zorin cutting it off didn’t surprise me much, but everything else she did to her was a surprise.

Then, just as Zorin seems to be ready to finish Seras off, Pip Bernadotte gets the drop on her and whacks her with the butt of his rifle.    Machine gun?   Semiautomatic?   I don’t know from guns.    He hits her with it, is my point.   Then he shoots her with a different gun to put the exclamation point on it.

There’s two other guys left in the Wild Geese, and they toss smoke grenades to cover Pip as he tries to carry Seras to safety, but he’s wounded, and then a Millennium soldier wakes up and shoots him in the thighs.   Was that guy playing possum?  The Geese take him out, and Pip even makes it back to them, but I’m not sure what good that does anybody.   Then Zorin gets back up and cuts him down with her scythe.    I don’t think she chops him in half or anything, but he’s not getting back up again, that’s for sure. 

Seras calls out to him, and he steals another kiss.   I guess he forgot about the last time, because he acts like he “finally” managed to do this.   Then he asks Seras to drink his blood, which will allow her to win.   I guess someone must have explained enough vampire lore to Pip for him to have figured this out.    Maybe Seras herself told him how it worked, which makes it doubly-meaningful for him to say this to her now.  

And Seras starts wailing with grief, before Zorin finally mocks her for it, calling Pip an insect.   I’ve seen a few people poke fun at this scene, because it’s kind of weird for Zorin to just stand by while Pip and Seras have this final moment together, but Zorin’s a sadist.   Much of what she’s done in these past several chapters has been about reveling in her enemies’ suffering.    She took her sweet time with Seras earlier, which was the only reason Pip managed to help her, and now she’s taking her sweet time again, like she’s enjoying this drama. 

So Zorin uses her psychic whammy again, but this time it doesn’t work on Seras.   Maybe because Seras is already in the middle of a terrible trauma in the here and now.   She couldn’t do anything to avenge her parents back then, and she was powerless against the Cheddar Priest, but this time?   This time she knows exactly what to do.

VENIT AEVUS ILLE, O MESSIAH, O MESSIAH

YUDULIYA-VELE YUDULIYA-VELE

EN ESE MOMENTO ZORIN BLITZ SINTIO EL VERDADERO TERROR.

So yeah, this rocks.    The anime version does this cool thing where all the blood soaks up into her clothes and stains them red.   Maybe the manga was going for the same thing, but it’s harder to tell in black and white.   I find it kind of strange how Seras’ eyes grow back, but her left arm does not.    I’m pretty sure she could reform her arm, but chooses not to.   Instead, she’s got this black ectoplasm-y thing, like the same black stuff that Alucard uses when he’s not holding back as much.

Then Seras starts slaughtering Zorin’s men.   Didn’t she already kill them all?  Yeah, but there’s more.   The anime tries to cover for this by having Zorin explain that some “late arrivals” showed up.  Well, they did have to enter the building single file to get past the mines, so it makes sense that Zorin would keep some in reserve in case there were more traps inside. 

Seras is my favorite character in this whole thing, and since these pages of her kickin’ ass speak for themselves, I guess I’ll talk about why I like her so much.    I’m pretty sure I saw a cosplay photo of her on tumblr, and I found the design intriguing.   She’s a vampire, but dressed in something like a military uniform, kind of like the “Bridge Bunnies” in Macross. I looked up Seras to find out what she was from, and I was like “Oh, Hellsing was the show Team Four Star has been abridging, I guess I need to watch that anyway so I can watch the Abridged version and get the jokes.”

Mostly, I just like the idea of a vampire with a very professional mentality, as opposed to the whole Lost Boys/What We Do in the Shadows/Buffy kind of aesthetic.    Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but we see that sort of thing all the time.   I’ve also seen a lot of “reluctant” vampires in my time.    Vampires who try to avoid doing any vampire stuff, or going about their business like the vampirism is just this inconvenient obstacle.   Hellsing presents this other option, where vampires like Alucard are used for the purpose of anti-vampire countermeasures.   He’s been turned into a weapon, but he’s basically just Dracula with a fresh coat of paint.   Seras is more firmly rooted in the concept.  Alucard was a vampire who became a sort of cop, and Seras is a cop who became a vampire. 

And while I liked the idea of Seras being like “Oh, well I didn’t want to be a vampire but I’ll try to make the best of it”, I quickly found out that she wasn’t just a cop with pointy teeth.   There’s moments where she can be scary and creepy too.   “Sir, yes sir, my Master.”  It sums her up very neatly.   This is a vampire who can be polite and respectful and professional, but she can also get very deep into the more horrific aspects of this thing.   She’s got layers.  Zorin Blitz tried to peel them back, and look how that’s working out for her.

Once the rank and file goons are dealt with, Seras goes after Blitz, and just wrecks her shit.   Blitz tries to punch Seras in the face and it does nothing.   Seras just bites all her fingers off and spits ‘em out.   Then she announces that she refuses to drink Zorin’s blood, not a single drop. This is important, because Seras was always reluctant to drink blood.  She said she feared that drinking blood would mean the end of something inside of her, but now she’s crossed that Rubicon.   One might suspect that she’d suddenly want to drink more blood, but no.  She drank Pip’s as a means to an end.   Zorin’s blood would serve no higher purpose, and I think there’s an implication that she doesn’t want to dishonor Pip’s sacrifice.  Desperate, Zorin tries to use her power on Seras a third time, and then this happens:

  Okay, so at first Zorin sees Seras’ memories, like before, but now there’s all this stuff from Pip’s memories, and then Warrant Officer Shrodinger, of all people, shows up.   Zorin is confused by this, but he explains that he’s “everywhere and nowhere,” which means he can appear in this psychic vision just as easily as he can teleport between Brazil and England.

Schrodinger is here to pass along a message from the Major.  See, Zorin disobeyed his orders, and he would normally punish her for this, but he and the Doctor are busy with a “most interesting toy”, so they’ll just leave it to Seras to take care of punishing Zorin.  

Yesterday, I think I figured out what Zorin’s disobedience was.    Before I was confused because she didn’t start attacking until Seras opened fire on her blimp, and that only happened because Seras was shooting at the rockets fired by the Major.   Everything that Zorin did afterwards could be considered a matter of self-defense, but therein lies the problem.    Namely, what was Zorin’s blimp doing in the line of fire to begin with?  

Because once Seras shot her down, everything Zorin did next was sort of her only option.   She pretty much had to attack the mansion, and brave its defenses, whatever those happened to be.   And the Major knew that this was a big unknown.   He warned Zorin about Seras Victoria and while he didn’t seem to know exactly what her abilities were, he regarded her as an “arch-enemy” on the same level as Alucard.  That’s why he wanted Zorin to hold off and wait for the rocket attack.   It was intended to probe the mansion’s defenses, and once it became clear that they had anti-aircraft guns, and that Seras was eagle-eyed enough to shoot down their rockets, then the Major could have ordered Zorin to find a different way.   

But instead she was too close and gave Seras a target, which precipitated everything else, up to and including this:

Yeah, Seras just drags Zorin across the walls until her whole head smears apart.   Cool!

With Zorin dead, Seras delcares her intention to take the fight to the enemy, and the last three Wild Geese salute her before she leaves.   One way or another, they realize that Pip has become a part of Seras now, and they pay their last respects to him through her. 

Then Seras flies toward London, using her left arm-thing to make cool bat wings.    And this is a good illustration of what Seras is all about.  Once, she might have been horrified at the thought of doing something like this, but now she sees it as a way to carry on with her duty.    This was what Alucard had been trying to get her to understand, but sometimes you just have to work these things out in your own way.   Seras is about utility, and now that she has a use for these vampiric powers, she’s finally prepared to embrace them as her own.

In London, Schrodinger reports back to the Major and informs him of Zorin Blitz’s death.  He’s not surprised, and even declares “our ruin has begun”.   Schrodinger points out that he’s leading everyone, friend and foe alike, into destruction, and the Major simply observes that this is war.   Millennium didn’t come to London to win, they came to London to fight.

Then the Ninth Crusade shows up.  Recall that, earlier, Enrico Maxwell organized a military response to deal with the Millennium invasion of London, but he hasn’t come here to save the civilian population.   Instead, he’s treating them as enemies, just like the Nazi vampires.    Somehow, there’s still living people in the city, and as dawn approaches, they see Maxwell’s helicopters putting off some sort of light show.  I don’t know what you call this, but the people on the ground think it’s angels, and then Maxwell orders his men to open fire.

I want to point out that the newly promoted Archbishop Maxwell is riding into this battle in a special truck with a glass box for him to sit in.   He’s surrounded by microphones so he can address his troops and the people below.   Also the truck is hanging from a helicopter.   It’s stupid and pointless and over-the-top, so naturally the Major is highly impressed with Maxwell’s style. 

#2021hellsingliveblog #hellsing #seras victoria #pip bernadotte #zorin blitz #the major #warrant officer shrodinger #enrico maxwell

[othercat2]

Writing Update, Bunny, and Snippet(s)

So! While searching for porn I found a series called Taming Riki on Amazon, which is apparently original fan fic of Ai no Kusabi. It is not very good fan fic, and only semi okay porn. It reminded me very much of the kind of yaoi porn one used to be able to find on LJ in the early 2000s. I did end up reading it, but was very impatient with it. (Writer, have you ever actually met human beings? I wonder!)

This somehow led to reading Ai no Kusabi fan fic. Which was very odd since I was not impressed with the Ova! (I am probably not going to read the novel(s) since they apparently end in Bury Your Gays Under Piles of Rubble.) Anyway, the AnK fan fic seems to tend toward the "rewrite canon so characters survive" variety. And is often quite optimistic that the mains could have a relationship.

Bunny 1: Due to the part where Iason "Why is my surname a Mustelid, it must be because I fuck like Weasels" Mink is an android he was never actually in danger because all you need to do is down load a backup. Problem: he keeps crashing because Riki was made of meat, and he does not know how to grieve. Jupiter POV as they/it/she tries to get Iason back to operational parameters. (Ricky don't you lose my number plays ironically in the background.)

Bunny 2: Almost exactly like AnK except with Homestuck style quadrants. So much quadrant vacillation. SO MUCH.

Speaking of Homestuck, I've been working on Rebel and Conqueror! I have also been working on Pernstuck, and the next installment of The Yiling Almanac ("the young master most likely to be found disappearing into the kitchen garden") Wei Ying's love of potatoes is featured. (I need to find Ursula Vernon's rant on potatoes.) I've also managed to get some writing done on Build a Life from Scratch. However, I'm slightly frustrated because I can't segue over the GHB/Signless debate. And I hate debates.

Snippet the First: (Rebel and Conqueror)

Trolls had all kinds of mind control powers. They could terrorize you into catatonia or turn you into a puppet. It depended on the caste though. Lower castes tended to have telekinesis powers, higher up the scale started to be telepathy and fear projection. At the very top it was mostly resistance to the mind control powers (and you suspected, regeneration and other weird shit you've only heard rumors about). It probably made sense to trolls to keep you away from Vantas, if things like what happened to you happened a lot. “He’s fuchsia,” you say, and even as you say it, you know it’s a stupid thing to say. Vantas doesn’t need to have been the one to fuck with your head, with or without the pheromones. “Is there any proof he had anything done to my head? Aside from fucking with it just by being his normal asshole self?”

“No evidence was found in the initial investigation,” the Dolorosa admits.

"So he didn't do anything," you say. "So I think I should get to see him sentenced." You pause, looking down at your hands. "For closure. Since I'm not allowed to be in contact with him anymore." The Dolorosa gives you an odd look. It's part concern and part curiosity, and you realize what you said might sound like. "It isn't Stockholm Syndrome," you tell. "I don't feel dependent on him for safety or something." You just want to know what's going on with him. "And don't ask if I want to see him, because that opens the entire do you want to be his kismesis can of worms, and the answer to that is still and will always be fuck no."

The Dolorosa smiles a little at that. "That's understood," she says. "Would you want to be in contact? From what I understand that also seems to be an issue."

"So, troll doctors don't have confidentiality?"

"I think you've made it clear that it's an issue outside Doctor Coyotl's office," the Dolorosa says. "It would be hard to keep common knowledge confidential." Her tone is dry. "Wanting to see him doesn't necessarily correlate to wanting to be in a kismesis with him."

"I want to see him," you say. "I don't know about contact. Maybe I want to ask what he thought he was going to do, raising my kid and screwing with me at the same time. How he thought that was going to work. What was he going to tell my kid about me, if he thought he was going to get away with it. Maybe I want him to delete that fucking 'I hate you' wall he has. Maybe I want to point and laugh at all the 're-education' he's going to go through."

"He already knew he wasn't going to get away with it," the Dolorosa says.

"What's the Black Tower like?" you ask, veering slightly off the subject.

"A prison," the Dolorosa says. "Or in some ways a hospital. I'm sure Pyrope has explained some of the details."

"Re-educated, supervised visits, supervised everything, Earth still conquered but the Viceroy can't have a hate boyfriend, yeah."

"Among other possible punishments," the Dolorosa says. "But those are the most likely." She pauses. "Are there any penalties you'd prefer?"

"Be pretty stupid for me to ask for execution, wouldn't it? Maybe ironic after all the effort not to kill me." Probably also stupid to suggest it to his grandmother, but she asked. "Maybe freedom for Earth and he doesn't have command of anything bigger than one of those ships you stick in a bottle. But freedom isn't on the table either."

The Dolorosa doesn't lecture on the benefits of imperial rule. Instead she says, "Dr. Coyotl mentioned that you had been losing a considerable amount of time during your captivity." She decaptchalogues a data grub, and sets it down on a low table by the couch. It's stubs around a couple inches before curling up, mandibles opening and shutting. You absolutely do not want to pick it up. "This data grub contains the complete security footage from your time on the then-Viceroy's ship. After viewing this, we can discuss if and when you can see him."

"I have to watch the home movie if I want to see him?" you ask. The Dolorosa nods. You know that you're stalling. (You still don't want to pick the data grub up.)

"You can watch it on your own, or with your partner, Rose Lalonde," Dolorosa says, and gets to her feet to leave.

"Wait," you say. She gives you an inquiring look. "So, if this is the complete footage, that's a lot of hours. What's the amount of hours before you'll let me see Vantas?"

"At least seventy two hours within a twenty four hour time frame," Dolorosa says.

"Okay."

Something resembling manners has you get up and follow her to the door, and see her out. When she's gone, you lean against the bulkhead and shudder all over, face in your hands. You slide down the bulkhead to the deck. Take it in steps. There was a computer in the corner of the living room, built into a desk. It wasn't too organic or alarming in appearance. Get the grub to the computer, and open the files. Did you really want to watch it on your own? Did you want Rose there, knowing how badly she wanted to kill Vantas? (It takes a moment to wrap your head around the way the argument wants to phrase Rose's presence as a negative. You don't want me her to be hurt. You don't want her to hurt Vantas.) Did you want to watch it, already knowing what you were going to see? (All the parts you couldn't remember and all the parts you could.)

"This is bullshit," you say, half hoping for a comment from the intercom. "You're hoping I don't watch, which will prove I shouldn't see Vantas." You don't get an answer.

With cringing fingers you pick up the grub (soft squashy urgh) drive and stick it in the port. As the drive opens you send a message to Rose: so i have umptybillion hours of video footage to go through before they'll let me see vantas please come hold my hand. You don't get an immediate reply, so you start going through the files.

You see that you have lots of raw footage. As far as you can tell, no editing was done at all. You are going to be doing a lot of skipping and fast forwarding, is what you're saying. Opening the first file, you get started. It starts with him getting you into his ship, and his quarters. Your hands clench as you watch yourself wake up, the combination of anger and panic on your face as he fucks you, how it turns to lust and desperation. You fast forward.

You fast forward a lot. A lot of this, you remember, and don't much want to go over it again. From a third person perspective, it's weird watching him with you. Watching you with him. (You don't remember the times you tried to make a shank--three times--or biting him as often as you as you actually did.) You can see the moments of concern or confusion on his face, see him arguing with Egbert and Harley. Or meeting some official. (Those are the times when you can remember having been locked in your room. )

Snippet the Second: (Build a Life from Scratch)

After some more talk you all break camp and head west. As you all walk, you stretch your Aspects out, figure out what they can do. It's at least half way to sense for danger, half to practice. You might lay down a "beat" that Redglare joins in on, that Disciple sings along to, that Zahhak hums absentmindedly. Or Jade and Signless have a "song" that Dolorosa joins in on, accompanied by Disciple. Demoness can sound like an entire choir, with Highblood coming in over the top, "sounding" something like a theremin crossed with a bass fiddle. Dave joins in, and Roxy, doing odd little solos or "duets" with one of the trolls, or with Jade.

The next few nights not much happens. The terrain is uneven, the sky is endless, and the air is muggy and damp. There are a few high-flying clouds that disappear by morning. You can see mountains in the distance, and the glinting snake of a river edged with trees. On the third day, you get closer to the river, it starts to get cloudier and the wind kicks up. In the early evening, you can see the wall of an approaching storm. It's a solid green-black wall, and you can see the trailing mists of rain as it dumps down, along with flickers of lightning. "Well, that's going to suck when it gets here," you say.

At the same time you hear this huge sliding crunch off to the side. Exactly like someone pulled up a whole hell of a lot of chunks of ground, all at once. You turn in that direction and see huge chunks of dirt and rock floating around Jade and the Demoness. "Hopefully we can make it suck less!" Jade says cheerfully. The chunks orbit Jade and Demoness as they began to quickly create a shelter. Everyone helps with pounding the dirt and rocks into a rough shelter big enough to hold everyone plus the not-horses. Demoness and Jade (with help from Alter Dave and Dolorosa) smooth out the inside and make everything solid and waterproof.

You all get inside as the storm hits. Roxy pulls out a couple of battery powered lanterns, and sets them up. "Getting better at that," you say.

She grins. "This trick's kind of fun," she says. "Watch." She shows you everything she can make appear, and then disappear. She starts with green cubes, then goes on to various toys, a pair of shoes, a laptop computer, a 3rd Edition Dungeon and Dragons Player's Handbook and DM Handbook. And various sets of dice. And a DM screen. "So, how about a game?"

"That game's for nerds," you scoff.

She rattles one of the clear tubes of dice at you. "Dirk, you are in fact a nerd." She tosses the tube at you, and you catch it reflexively. She also tosses one at Alter Dave, who steps back and lets it fall.

"Nah," he says. "I want to be Debbie."

Roxy laughs, eyes a little bright. "Rose had a brief stint of leaving Chick Tracts in odd little places. I covered the door to her bedroom with a print of The Time of the Dark."

"The one with the wizard sitting in the kitchen with can of beer?" You ask.

"Yep!"

"Mean," Dave says. "Isn't Hambly kinda homophobic?" Quickly. "Not that I would know, except from what my Rose might have ranted about a time or two because she's read a few of the writer's series. I'm way too cool for wizards."

"Wizards are extremely cool," Roxy says. "And I'm not sure one way or another, except yes, if she had written certain books today the way she had then, she would be up to her ears in angry letters and tweets, because holy crap."

It turns out trolls also have roleplaying games. Redglare, Disciple and Signless join in. To your surprise, so does Demoness. Highblood, the Dolorosa and Zahhak do not.

#writing #homestuck #ai no kusabi #update #untamed #plot weasels

[medea10]

My Review of Konosuba

(Short for: KonoSuba - God's Blessing on This Wonderful World)

How did I get into this anime? As you all know, I’m being an absolute lazy-ass when it comes to Isekai animes and have only gotten into the recent hits as of 2019. I already finished the suffer edition and the struggle edition. Let’s check out the light-hearted, wonk-fest! But before that…

Let’s go back to the mid-1990s and rewatch the first episode of Yu Yu Hakusho. We all remember Yusuke Urameshi sacrificing his life in order to save a child about to be hit by a truck followed by being told that the child would have survived regardless if Yusuke interfered or not. So dude just wasted his fucking life for nothing! Let’s amp this trope up to 483 with the way our main lead in Konosuba dies. Kazuma Satou was on his way back home from purchasing a video game when he noticed a girl about to be hit by a car. He pushes her out of the way and yada, yada, yada he’s dead!

He is now in a limbo setting, standing before a goddess named Aqua who tells Kazuma that his death was absolutely meaningless. Not only would the girl have survived, it wasn’t even a car, it was a slow-moving tractor. And Kazuma didn’t get hit by the tractor, he suffered a heart attack due to shock, followed by pissing his pants, followed by doctors, family, and relations laughing at Kazuma’s humiliating experience. And then he dies!

Aqua tells Kazuma that he has two options. He can either go to Heaven or be transported to a fantasy world (much like a game) and try to defeat a demon king. Choosing the fantasy world, Kazuma is given the opportunity to take an item with him on his travels. Now at this point, Kazuma has been annoyed by this goddess’s attitude towards him and decides to be a dick. So Kazuma chooses Aqua to be with him on his journey. Sucks for Kazuma however, because Aqua is useless! And unlike the video games Kazuma’s used to, he and Aqua must do manual labor and pay off expenses in the first town. So they might be there for a while.

Kazuma ends up with two more members in his crew including a witch named Megumin that uses explosive magic and a masochistic crusader named Lalatina Dustiness Ford (or Darkness for short). But don’t get too excited! Megumin’s magic can only be used once a day, wiping away her energy. And while Darkness has a mean sword, she misses every time with it. So yeah, this is a rag-tag team of useless dopes. Let’s watch the wacky misadventures of Kazuma, Aqua, Megumin, and Darkness as they go on missions, drink until they puke, explode castles, and steal underwear.

Yes, Kazuma occasionally does this.

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: Crunchyroll has been able to bless the masses with an English dub. Can’t let FUNimation have all the Isekai hits. So far it’s been alright and I’m hearing more Erica Mendez and Cristina Vee. All good things here! Plus it gives me a chance to hear the voices of Kazuma, whom up to this point I have minimal time listening to either person who plays him. And annoying as Aqua may be, Faye Mata does a really good job with that range Sora Amamiya set in the original. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Kazuma is played by Jun Fukushima (known for Naruko on Yowamushi Pedal and Makoto on Fruits Basket 2019)

*Aqua is played by Sora Amamiya (known for Touka on Tokyo Ghoul, Chizuru on Rent A Girlfriend, Miia on Monster Musume, Yachiyo on Magia Record, Akame on Akame ga Kill, and Elizabeth on Seven Deadly Sins)

*Megumin is played by Rie Takahashi (known for Emilia on Re:Zero)

*Darkness is played by Ai Kayano (known for Alice on SAO: Alicization, Menma on Anohana, Nana on Golden Time, Ryouko on Food Wars, Itsuwa on Index, Yukika on My Love Story, and Mayaka on Hyouka)

ENGLISH CAST: *Kazuma is played by Arnie Pantoja (known for Watchdog-Man on One Punch Man and Kanbarry on Re:Zero)

*Aqua is played by Faye Mata (known for Rin on Love Live, Aluminum Siren on Sailor Moon Stars, Yukako on Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Pt. 4, Frederica on Re:Zero, and a bitch on Shield Hero)

*Megumin is played by Erica Mendez (known for Ryuko on Kill la Kill, Haruka/Sailor Uranus on Sailor Moon S [redub], Raphtalia on Shield Hero, Retsuko on Aggretsuko, Nico on Love Live, and Emma on The Promised Neverland)

*Darkness is played by Cristina Vee (known for Homura on Madoka Magica, Rei/Sailor Mars on Sailor Moon, Mio on K-ON, Sakura on Fate/Stay Night UBW, Kotori on Love Live, and Kanaria on Rozen Maiden: Traumend)

FAVORITE CHARACTER: Darkness is best girl, don’t at me!

SHIPPING (sorta): Can we just all agree that Darkness is just a sober version of Cheryl from Archer?

Whoever ends up with her will end up choking her either because she tells you to or she annoys you with her masochistic nature! I seriously do not know how you want me to turn this shipping discussion into anything other than a comment about a bitch getting choked.

ENDING TO SEASON ONE: Kazuma has been able to get a little good luck in his other world as he was finally able to move out of the stables and into a house with the rest of his crew. Although, it didn’t come easy! Then again, what has in this series? In the final episode of the first season, all of the adventures of the town were called to take on a scary foe. Up to this point, we’ve seen these guys take out mutant cabbages and an idiot dullahan. Today we’ve got…

A giant, mechanical spider!

Why do the stupidest stories always rely on a giant, mechanical spider? Kazuma and the rest were able to stop the spider from moving. However, this monstrosity is set to explode and the impact could take out the entire town. Darkness wants to repay the town for all it has done for her and her family. The adventurer men want to repay the town because of all the succubus taverns they love. And Kazuma just wants to continue his journey so he can take out the demon king. Now, because Megumin already used her explosion magic for the day, she’s down for the count. But she was able to do it a second time thanks to Kazuma transferring some magic from Aqua through his spell and with a little help from Wiz. The day is saved, Kazuma and his crew got a hefty reward, and then Kazuma is immediately charged with treason for sending the evidence to a higher up and it exploded.

Believe it or not, but a lot of these quests end with a giant middle finger to them. Almost like Curb Your Enthusiasm!

EPISODE 11: The special episode that followed came with some more misfortune for Kazuma. A trip to Wiz’s shop ends with a choker around Kazuma’s neck that’s going to strangle him in three days if his wish doesn’t come true. So to figure out what Kazuma’s wish is, Kazuma has all of these girls fulfill his greatest desires in the hopes of one of these humiliating tasks will release Kazuma from the choker.

As you can guess, because this is an OVA, it will be filled to the brim with degeneracy compared to the television series. Fuck yeah it was! Kazuma used this opportunity to use Wiz’s tits as comfy pillows, have Megumin play “Strip Rock/Paper/Scissors” with Yunyun, have Aqua fetch him food, and watch Darkness jiggle her breasts. Even when he thought he was at death’s door, he uses this special time to tell each girl with him at this dramatic moment that they are nothing more than tits and ass. All except for Aqua! No love for her. Not even a pity erection! So when the spell on the choker was released due to a simple wish, Kazuma was then killed by Aqua and quite possibly everyone else and Kazuma was sent back to the goddess chamber as he learned a powerful lesson.

Don’t ever do that again!

Damn…Kazuma died 3 times so far in 11 episodes. Subaru got you beat by a country mile. He’s probably looking at you like, “You damn, lucky dumbass. I got frozen, shanked, stabbed, sliced, maced, and eaten by bunnies”.

SEASON TWO: As I mentioned at the end of season one, Kazuma is charged with treason and usually that comes with a death sentence. Unfortunately for Kazuma, his unintentional crime was against this big, fat, smelly noble who has many higher-ups wrapped around his finger. The townspeople can’t really help him out otherwise they’d risk being charged as well. And you have a prosecutor wanting Kazuma’s head on a pike not only for the major charge, but for being a pervert. The writing is on the wall, Kazuma is screwed. However, thanks to Darkness (and her family lineage) she was able to take one for the team by saving Kazuma (for now) and have that big, fat, smelly noble do God knows what to her. Also, the kingdom repossessed a lot of things from Kazuma’s crew.

So they’re worse than “square one” at this point. They’re at “square -57” with how much debt they’ve all accumulated.

ENDING TO SEASON TWO: Things are starting to look up for Kazuma and his crew. They were able to abolish their debt, got the treason charges lifted, and they were able to gain back some respect around the village. So what better way to celebrate then to go on a bit of vacation. The gang decided to head off to another town for some rest and relaxation. Unfortunately, the town they spent their time off at is full of religious wackos. And what I mean by religious wackos, I mean WORSE than Jehova Witnesses, Evangelical Christians, and the Heaven’s Gate cult all rolled into one.

…Okay, I’m obviously embellishing here. I just really fucking hate all of those ones I just mentioned. This cult is so fucking annoying! At every turn they’re trying to convert Kazuma, Megumin, and Darkness into their fold.

Oh wait, it gets better! This cult worships the goddess Aqua! And of course our favorite idiot Aqua was using this to her advantage. That is until a priest didn’t believe her, starting a chain reaction with the townsidiots all leading up to them chasing Kazuma and crew out with pitchforks and fire. Apparently, Aqua did a big no-no by purifying the hot spring water and now it’s just regular water.

Unfortunately at that same time, a general to the dark lord was in area poisoning all of the water in this town. Yeah, this guy is serious trouble since he’s on a higher level than Wiz (back when she was working under the demon king). But he’s a slime and works with poison. In this world, Kazuma doesn’t stand a chance. Surprisingly, this battle went well (albeit Kazuma dying inside the slime), but we got to see Aqua at her baddest of ass. Now you’d think the town would be grateful to Kazuma and his team for ridding them of a demon king general. Hahaha, never trust religious nutjobs! They still found fault with Aqua purifying their hot springs and they were thrown out.

In the 11th episode (or second side-story), Kazuma thought he was meeting a new fan in town. So he regales her with tales of his expoditions to woo her. Turns out the girl is a new member of the local tavern and one of her jobs is to listen to useless adventurers to boost their morale. And this girl was totally not digging Kazuma. I think this hurt Kazuma more than all the times he’s died in this series.

MOVIE: We head off to the land where Megumin and Yunyun were born and raised. While there was some miscommunication into if the town and their families were in trouble to begin with, trouble sure found Kazuma and the gang once they arrived. Another general of the demon king ends up causing quite a stir in the town. Sylvia was extra hard to take down in this story. Just when you thought she was dead, she returns from death’s door and brings the poison slime from season two and the dullahan from season one to wreck havoc all across the land. Luckily, Kazuma, his crew, Wiz, Yunyun, and the rest of the townspeople were able to put an end to Sylvia and her cohorts.

But man, Kazuma got some really shitty deals in this movie. His trashy and perverted reputation isn’t any better. Megumin’s father wanted to kill him. Megumin’s mother locked Kazuma and Megumin in a room together in hopes of doing the nasty, was messed with by a chimera of two genders, and was killed in a gruesome way that even the angels had to throw up when they saw the state of Kazuma.

On a positive note, Megumin seemed to have grown a little with this adventure as she was even thinking of putting her explosive magic on hold and give a whirl at other options. But she still gave a giant explosion that’s worth 120 points.

Konosuba was amusing. Definitely worth a few chuckles! I know it won’t be for everyone as comedy in anime can often be hit-or-miss. But the combination of characters with many quirks, the animation, the setting, the tasks, and misunderstandings, you’ve got yourself an anime version of Curb Your Enthusiasm. So…yeah, not for everyone, hit-or-miss! But in the big five isekai animes, this one is a little more light compared to some of the others. Overlord can get quite gory. Shield Hero will anger any sane person to a point of madness. And Re:Zero is just a misery blanket! Konosuba is that light-hearted comedy where sometimes the main protagonist dies horrificly in battle, but will return like Kenny from South Park. So if Shield Hero and Re:Zero depress you, maybe you might need a break with the silly, zany antics of Kazuma’s crew in Konosuba.

Results may vary on your views of Aqua.

If you would like to watch Konosuba, the entire series is available on Crunchyroll. That’s the first season, second season, both OVA’s, and the movie in several different languages!

Okay, let’s pick our next Netflix, Crunchyroll, or Amazon exclusive!

Alright! An anime like Black Lagoon if it involved gay boys! Banana Fish time.

#anime review #konosuba #darkness #aqua #megumin #kazuma satou #lalatina dustiness ford #yunyun #wiz

[nuttyrabbit]

Hey, remember what I said about cancelling the 186 AU to rewrite it? Hahahahaha!~ I actually took a look back at it, and besides some of my plans for my OCs changed a bit (Like Astara – She’s no longer Melody and is definitely NOT purple), it still holds up as a piece. I'mma going to continue it.

–

“Alright, where should we start with our story?” Ovi said, pacing back and forth while wiping off some of the motor oil from his gloves. Bunnie and Amy flinched at Ovi’s actions, even though they knew the truth about what Sally was.

“How about you start with what you did with Nicole!” Amy screeched, her frustration and confusion over the entire situation. The past few days finally took their toll on the female hedgehog, tears forming under her eyes as her stress reached it’s peak. Ovi looked at Amy’s tearful face, before smirking at her.

“Just made sure that she’s better equipped for later, Amy.” Ovi smarmily said, his eyes shining with secrets. Amy huffed at the statement, but let it go nonetheless, sensing that she would end up running in circles with his mood.

“Alrigh’ thah, sugar.” Bunnie said, sitting down along with Amy. “How abou’ you tell us why y’all decided to come on ova’ and attac’? I mean, wouldn’t it be easier for us to be killd or whateva’ it is y’all want?” “…No. No, it wouldn’t.” Mina stated, shocking the two. “You’re our friends, and we couldn’t leave you in this mess that Maximillion created.”

“Wait, King Max? But—But why?” Amy asked them quickly, which caused Ovi to look in her direction.

“He took everything away from me!” Ovi yelled, freaking the two out, “My name! My very existence! My home! My baby sister! And… he took my friends…” He looked at the both desperately, hoping they would suddenly remember who they were.

“…How?” Amy had no choice but to ask, a faint feeling growing louder and louder as she wonders whom Ovi meant when he said “friends”.

“The Phantom Ruby—The one thing that can warp reality to the point where people can see nothing but what the controller wants to see.” Sonic stated, looking towards the two in contemplation. “Once, it was worshiped by changelings—humans who were capable of shifting between human and mobian forms.”

Ovi at that point switched from the rat form Amy and Bunnie were so used to, to a much handsomer, more interesting human form—with clothes! That disappointed them somewhat, but not as much as he turned back. “They worshiped the Ruby, believing that it gave them their powers. They used it to alter the reality of their enemies, giving them an advantage over their enemies. Combined with the Chaos Emeralds, it can warp time and space.” He smirked as he continued. “These traits of the Phantom Ruby fascinated Max, whom believed that the monarch system should stay forever, over the reigning queen’s decision to abolish all seven kingdoms.”

“What? Seven kingdoms?” Bunnie and Amy asked, which went unheard as Ovi went on.

“Believing himself that the Queen was wrong the entire time, he searched for the Ruby, before finding it was in the possession of the Queen of the Emerald Kingdom—the very kingdom that commanded his.”

“With this knowledge, Maximillion created the Secret Service.” Mina started now; her voice sang with melancholy as she spoke. “The Secret Service was commanded to do two things—take the Phantom Ruby and initiate the Great War.” Gasps were heard from the two, but Mina continued, nonetheless “With the Phantom Ruby in his possession, Max was able to warp the minds of the six other kingdoms to believe that the Queen of the Emerald Kingdom – Aleena – planned to destroy all their kingdoms.”

“Of course, that wasn’t true. Not one bit.” Sonic snarled, his whole body bristling at the idea of it. “He used the lie to stage a war against the Emerald Kingdom – As soon as they turned, it became a disaster for the Emerald kingdom.”

“The other kingdoms attacked without warning.” Ovi finished, not looking at Amy and Bunnie as he spoke. “Max turned against us all, because he believed that the only type of human and anthro… were ones without powers.” The rat/human growled out the last sentence, making Amy and Bunnie flinch from his anger. “If it weren’t for Mogul’s tampering… we’d never have survived the onslaught of Eggman.”

“What?” Bunnie couldn’t help but gasp out, her mind working into overtime from the line of events that happened.

“When the slaughter was over, Max made it so that his family was the only thing to be remembered in the world.” The mongoose looked away sadly, biting her lip as she thought about what had happened. “Max made sure the tampering couldn’t be undone, so he rounded all the children from the Emerald Kingdom and made them forget of their homes and family history. Then, he made the world forget that the kingdom existed, including himself, to prevent the reality of what he wanted to happen crumble away.”

“Too bad it doesn’t affect people like Mogul, who had so much chaos energy inside him that he could see beyond the lies of the Phantom Ruby.” Sonic stated, smirking a bit at Amy and Bunnie’s surprised looks. “He was the one who saved us from becoming robots – allowing all of us to access our powers and our heightened natural abilities when the Phantom Ruby made us forget.” Ovi scoffed at that last bit, laughing a little at the idea.

“Yeah, well – it’s kind of sad that your bodies are stuck being power-washed back at Mogul’s base at the moment, and these dolls are your only way of communicating to the outside world.” Sonic shrugged at Ovi’s proclamation, not bothering to answer if it had been true or not. Amy and Bunnie looked more closely to both Sonic and Mina’s bodies, and then at Ovi’s. How could they insist that Sonic and Mina’s bodies aren’t their real bodies?

“Wait, Sugar-hog, you try’n to say that your bodies aren’t real?” The cyborg rabbit asked, confusion eminent on her face.

“That – that can’t be! You – you both look too real!” Amy emphasized her point by grabbing Sonic’s and Mina’s arms, stroking their skin and fur in a delicate pattern. Mins giggled at the soft touches Amy was doing, while Sonic huffed and fondly looked at his #1 fan’s administrations.

“Well, if you don’t believe, why not see for yourself?” Ovi questioned carefully, suddenly behind Bunnie in that moment. “After all, we can’t have people like you making too much noise for your husband and our other friends.”

“Wha –” Bunnie couldn’t say more in the matter, suddenly feeling a cloth with highly incensed smell cover her face and her mouth. Her right arm suddenly sagged, and her robotic limbs suddenly became jello as she fell unconscious from the fumes. Luckily, Ovi was there to catch her before she gained a concussion, and gently lowered her to the ground carefully.

“Bunnie!” Amy yelled out, before getting a similar cloth to the nose by Mina as well. Trapped, and in no position to be able to swing her hammer, Amy instantly fell into unconsciousness as well, with Mina carefully holding onto her. Sonic, wasting no time, took Bunnie from Ovi’s lacklustre hold (as much as Ovi was trying to hide it, he could not lift Bunnie’s robotic parts for any longer).

“We’ll need someone to stay and be on the inside. Ovi, you alright with that?” Sonic couldn’t help but smirk at his changeling friend, whom gave a thumbs up in Sonic’s direction.

“Please be careful, Ovi.” Mina stated, her hold on Amy delicate and gentle.

“When have I been not?” Ovi said, smirking as the two looked at him deadpan. Instead of talking about what they thought of his rhetorical question, they immediately left the way they came, and Ovi looked to the room to find it almost completely totalled. “Ah, may as well make it look like a real struggle.” He said to himself.

–Aquillis

#submission #Aquillis-Main #Archie Sonic

[bizarrequazar]

Y’know I just realized, like

In the Devilman manga, Akira says he’s known Ryo for a while, as in Ryo Hasn’t just popped back into his life randomly, he’s been a relative constant for a while. So, therefore, Satan’s whole “I’m gonna merge Akira w Amon because I love him and want him to survive” thing makes sense ‘cause, yeah, they’ve had time prior to the series to grow a relationship between them

But then you have the OVA’s “Oh, of course! It’s my old friend Ryo!” sitch where Ryo’s either been off doing Ryo things for years or, my favourite interpretation, Ryo and Akira hadn’t even met properly and Jenny was hiding in the bushes hypnotizing Akira, hence the long pause before recognition. 

Which is kind of hilarious actually because, by that vein, Satan was just checking humans out, looking for their weaknesses, and then one day he sees this sweet boy save a bunny from a group of assholes at the cost of his own safety and just went “That one. I’m gonna let him fuck over my whole plan because I now love him. This is a great plan.”

#noisy stardust #Devilman #Fudou Akira #Asuka Ryo #my dvm tag

[mouser26]

An oldie but a goodie

So in light of realizing I really don’t have a lot of Mags stories on here I decided to go dig through my old DA account and see if anything survived since I wasn’t the best at cross posting from Y!...and now I feel old cause Y! went down in 2016 and now is back apparently....so yeah  ANYWAYS!!!! Enjoy a gently edited (oh god this was posted how long with those errors?!) first time I and Foxy ever collabed from Nov 2008 aka the First time Mags and Cassius met The Barcrawl ( and to any new readers.....yeah Cassius just talks like that 

Cassius hated Canadian pubs. They insisted on calling them bars, and they never had the right food. How was a guy supposed to enjoy his beer without a proper accompaniment? And why had the yellow insisted on meeting here?

“Oy! You in the purple!” a strident woman’s voice rang out. “Your people tried to blow up my brother!”

“Dat’s righ’,” Cassius rumbled, sipping his beer, “but not me pers’nally. I doan do good wit splosives.”

“Well, I don’t see anyone else here,” she retorted. “Maybe I ought to take a down payment in lumps out of you!”

“I warns yer, lady,” Cassius growled. “I’s tougher dan I looks.”

“You don’t look so tough to me!” Magenta challenged.

“Wow, mouffy AN’ blind,” Cassius rumbled. “You got it bad, sister.”

Magenta’s face grew rosy to where it matched her hat and vest. Without another word, she picked up an unoccupied barstool and brought it down on Cassius’s head.

Cassius didn’t flinch; he took his beer bottle and smashed Magenta across the face, sending her soaring towards the leisure section of the bar.

She landed in the midst of a game of eight ball, and, cursing, picked up the cue stick underneath her. She stood up in the middle of the table and kicked the three and the fifteen balls at Cassius’s chest. With one fluid move, she jumped from the billiard table to the bar and pivoted, breaking the cue across Cassius’s face.

Cassius picked himself up off of the floor. Seeing Magenta aim a kick at his face, he seized the leg she was standing on and hurled her bodily into the plate glass window at the bar’s façade.

He grabbed another bottle and waited; she’d be back. One of the patrons with more alcohol than brains approached Cassius, who was picking shards of glass out of his knuckles.

“How dare you hit that lady!” He accused. “That’s not very nice at all.”

“Neither is she,” Cassius growled, “an she hit ferst. I jes hit ‘er back.”

He saw Magenta coming, and he braced for the impact. Outside, she’d landed next to a ‘Valet Parking’ sign for the restaurant next door, and she brought it with her. It caught him squarely in the side, breaking three ribs.

He grunted, and snapped the sign in half.

The patron turned to Magenta who said, “Don’t interfere!” and punched him.

Cassius grabbed the patron’s leg, Magenta grabbed his arm, and together they threw him bodily over the bar. He took out the shelf of high-end liquor and the mirror, and lay groaning behind the bar. Most of the patrons had fled; the bartender was nowhere to be seen.

“What a waste,” Cassius mumbled. “Lookit all dat good booze fallin’ on der floor.”

Magenta straightened her neck with an audible crack. “Not bad, Twinkle-toes. You ARE tougher than you look!”

“An’ yer no sloch eider,” Cassius conceded, drinking rum from a bottle with the top broken off. He offered her the bottle, and she took a long drink.

Idly, Cassius took a long splinter out from her violet hair. “Dat woulda hurt when you put yer hat back on.”

Cassius dusted the glass shards off of his purple vest. “Okay, yer smashed der stool on me head, n' I walloped yer wit der beer bottle, den you broke der poolcue 'cros m' teef, n' I sent you troo der window,” he counted out on his fingers. “Split der damage downna middle?"

“You forgot the cracked ribs, the pool table, and the guy we both sent into the bar display,” she corrected, “Otherwise it all sounds fair.”

Cassius nodded and took out his wallet. He counted several large bills and placed them under the bar counter, weighing them down with the bartender’s shotgun. “He wuz askin' fer it, callin yer a lady 'n sayin I ourtn't smack yer,” 

“An’ doan worry 'bout der ribs. I've broke dese tings more times'n I cn count. He should have ter pay fer der mirror doh, on accoun' o' his head doin' der breakin'." Cassius spat out a gob of blood. “Can’ stann innerlopers.”

Magenta snorted. “I smacked you first, you were fair ta shmack me back.” She felt her mouth, where her lower lip was already starting to match her hair. “Shon ova bish! I'm shwelling!” She clapped Cassius on the back. “Good job! Thas shom right hook ya got there.”

“I’d box, but der’s no one big enough to fight,” Cassius said, apologetically. “I'd buy yer a roun', but der bar appears to be desert'd. I know 'n all night biker bar. No place fer a lady, but yer orter be okay. I wanna see 'f yer cn drink's well as yer fight. Say, do yer like karaoke?”

“Did weh not jusht a'tablish I aint no god damn lady?” Magenta demanded. “And fer crooning a tune even if i did like it the lishener ushlly don't. LESH GO! Wait a minute, thish biker bar doesh karaoke?”

“Not yet,” Cassius rumbled. “But dey will.”

*~*~*

Hours and many many MANY drinks later Cassius and Magenta staggered tipsily down the street. “I can' bleev dat guy hekkled us berfore we got troo der first vers,” Cassius growled. “Good ting I hit him inna head wif dat hurled bottle.”

Magenta glared at him. “YOU hit him with a thrown bottle? I beg to differ. I threw that bottle, shir.”

“I hit ‘im inna head,” Cassius corrected. “YOU hit ‘im inna crosh.”

“Good point,” Magenta conceded. “ But I WARNED you I don't shing! And can you believe that whore that shaid my hair was shtupid? I mean what the fuck! She had a fucking hole in her ear the shize of a 28 gauge shell with a fucking ANKER in her lip! I have violet hair an I'm weird?!”

Cassius smirked. “I like yer hair. Mash's m' suit. An, I don' sing eider, but we got's der harm'ny down pat. Don' worry 'bout dat chick. When she wakes up wid der stishes inner forhed she'll know who's shtupid lookin'.”

Magenta howled with laugher. “DAMN SHTRAIGHT! By the by thanksh for docking her boy toy. Elsh I wouldn't have been able to shlash her sho good.”

Cassius shrugged. “Is no problem. Yer good wit dat swishblade!”

Magenta smiled. “Shtill, you are a-shom.” She tried to pat Cassius on the back, but missed the mark by a few feet.

Cassius grinned an evil smile. “He made it easy. Whenever I sees a guy wif nipple clamps anna chain froo 'em, I finks 'Dat's jes beggin t' be yanked.' I din' know he hadda Prince Albert hooked to it too, but dat's his prerorg...perogga..”

“Prerogative?” Magenta supplied

“Dat’s der bunny!” Cassius agreed.

Mags giggled. “Bunny...Shtupid fashin shatement sho was ashkin' for it! Even I don't shcream that fucking girly.”

“Der’s lotsa ways a guy cn look tough,” Cassius rumbled thoughtfully. “Dat’s gotta be one o’ der dumbest I seen, an’ dat’s sayin’ sumtin’.”

“You know,” she mused. “For a Purple, you’re not half bad.”

“An’ you’re pretty decent fer a Red girl, too,” Cassius said.

Magenta bristled. “What’s that supposed to mean? Just because I’m a girl means I can’t pull my weight? Or do you have something against Reds?”

“Nuttin’ gainst eider,” Cassius amended. “I jes tink I’m bedder at some a’ dis dan you.”

“Put your money where your mouth ish,” Mags retorted. “I’ve got a hundred bucksh that says I can do anything you can.”

“Alrigh’,” Cassius said, smirking. “Der blacks ‘ave a buildin’ roun’ here, righ’?”

“They do,” Magenta agreed, slowly. “It’s an office they ush when they’re trying to get at the White HQ, which is kinda all the time anymore.”

“Righ’,” Cassius said. He smiled and rubbed his hands together. “We gots a wager. Whoever gess der potted plant outta Black’s office is der better spy. Yer caught, ya lose. Deal?” He held out his enormous hand.

“Deal!” Mags agreed, shaking his hand.

“In der innerests of fairness,” Cassius rumbled, “We go dere inna same cab.”

“One question: what happensh if we Both get caught?”

“Den we bofe lose,” Cassius replied. “An’ we’re ebenly mashed as Spies. We calls it a draw.”

*~*~*

Rusty raised an eyebrow as he looked at the unknown number flashing on his phone. It was a sealed number though so it has to be someone familiar he reasoned as he answered, "Resident robo speaking."

“Rusty?” Mags asked. “It’s me. I need a pick-up at…WHAT PRECINCT IS THIS?...precinct 18, downtown… wait, WHICH DOWNTOWN? ….I’M FROM GATINEAU THAT’S WHY!…Ottawa. Can you bring bail money for…I see ten, but only four of them are ours.”

“Remin’ me,” Cassius groaned, “How did we end up here?”

“Well after we caught you two bickering over the theft of a potted plant,” Seventy-two started, “Brother and I convinced you two that dancing would be as much fun as Karaoke. So, we went downtown to the hippest club and somehow managed to get in.”

“I think the big guy bribed the bouncer,” Twenty-seven mused. “But regardless of how, we got in. The hottest dance crew in town was on the floor, they danced in front of us,”

“We got challenged,” Seventy-two continued. “I told the big guy and the woman. They looked at each other,”

“And together, they punched out the front man,” finished Twenty-seven. “Then, they proceeded to mop the floor with the rest of the crew.”

“Hey,” Mags retorted, “if they didn’t want to get beat up, they shouldn’t have thrown down in the first place. Besides it was a fair fight: two of us, eight of them.”

“That was bad enough,” Seventy-two said, “but did you two have to take on the whole SWAT team?”

“Dey said her hair was funny,” Cassius mumbled. “I had to knock dose tree out, odderwise we’d be in for longer. Smackin’ a cop is a shorter sen’ance dan rippin’ ‘is goolies off via his nosdril.”

“I would have done nothing of the sort,” sniffed Magenta.

“Then why did you threaten to do just that?” Seventy-two countered. “Every man in the club winced in sympathy pain.”

“Sides, der cops asked us nicely to come along,” Cassius said. “If dey’s willin’ to be polite abou’ it, I figger we might as well come ‘long peaceably.”

“They hit you with three tear gas grenades and tazered you at least six times,” protested Twenty-seven. “That’s what you call polite?”

“Dey dint use der guns or battans,” Cassius said. “Dose tazers were nice; dey tickled. Once Rusty gets ‘ere, I tink I need breakfast. Who wants homme, ommer..”

“Omelets?” Magenta suggested

“Dat’s der bunny!” Cassius agreed.

“I don’t know where you’ll put them,” Mags said. “Over the course of the night, you drank eight beers, fourteen assorted shots, a bottle of rum and a coke, and a centerpiece bud vase with a rose in it.”

“Tought dat one tasted a bit torny,” Cassius rumbled. “An’ yer one ter talk. You matched me on alla dat.”

“Couldn’t have you show me up, could I!” she countered. “And you’re right, it DID taste thorny!”

“MAGS!” Rusty finally yelled, interupting the four-way recounting of what sounded like a wild night.

He could picture Magenta staring at the receiver in her hand a moment before remembering who was on the line, “Hey Rusty.”

"... You do know I record all my calls, right?"

"...Fuck."

Rusty managed to hold in a chuckle, “Do we need an armored car or can I just pick you up?"

"Uh... I got two blacks and a purple...what do you think?

"... Fuck, I'm just going to get the nice company car to do this kind of crap. Google maps says I'll be there in about Forty-five minutes. Are you armed? Wait, don't answer that. ... WHAT are you armed with?"

"I left my babies at home. I HAD A SWITCHBLADE BUT THEY TOOK IT!"

“Actually you lost it when that one dancer kicked your hand,” Twenty-seven chirped.

“And his girlfriend tried to bite your ear off,” Seventy-two added

“Oh yeah…”

“Probably for the best...” Rusty muttered quietly. "Well, I'll get your spare from your desk as a security blanket of death. How's that? Anything else I should know about? What are the sobriety levels?"

"Hang on let me check… How sober are you bitches?!"

"Hung-over and hungry!”

“Dat depends,” Cassius mumbled. “Did I jes step on m’own fingers?”

“No sir,” an unknown voice, Rust assumed another prisoner cried. “You’re standing on mine.”

“Den nuttin’ a Bloody Mary woan fix,” Cassius said. “Or are yer a scewdriver woman?”

“I’m a Sonic Screwdriver woman, thanks to my darling partner. Electrolytes over acid. There’s your answer,” she said into the phone. 

"... I'll have Laurie call me en route to see what's open. On my way."

“Thanks Rusty!”

“Den les’ get outta here,” Cassius picked up the groaning twins by the back of their belts. “I got der lightweights. C’n you get der door?”

“Yep. Hey Rust, we’ll be outside. Trust me, you can’t miss us.” She hung up the jail cell’s pay phone.

“Let’s go”

“Damn!” Cassius smacked his forehead with the heel of his right hand, eliciting a groan from twenty-seven.

“What’s wrong?” Magenta asked, picking the jail cell lock.

“I wuz gonna meet a Yellow at der bar we net at.”

“Really?” Magenta looked up from the lock. “I was supposed to meet a Yellow there too. Think the bastard set us up?”

“Hell of a coinkydink,” Cassius growled, shifting his hold so he had the twins under each arm safe and sound.

“Next time I’m thank the bitch before I shoot him,” Mags soothed as she finally devoted her attention to the lock, earning a laugh from the purple agent.

#Agent Magenta #Mags #My writing #old writing #Agent Cassius

[robotnik-mun]

SatAM/OVA merging

The basic premise of this AU as of now is that Robotnikland (Eggmanland?) was built out of the Kingdom of Acorn, itself being based from whatever city or such that was shown in the OVA itself. Possibly; I’d have to rewatch the OVA to make a final decision on it.

Sonic, Tails, and Robotnik are based on their OVA versions; in fact they are them for the most part, save that Robotnik no longer desires Sara as his wife (for obvious reasons), and perhaps any personal touches I add on. The SatAM characters might be more changed from their canon selves, or I might combine them with their Archie counterparts to an extent. Also, the Freedom Fighters in this are far more cautious, mainly because they don’t have a super speedster on their side (yet).

Before I get into the details of specific character changes, there’s the issue of the Roboticizer. What I’m currently leaning towards regarding it is that Chuck initially builds the first one. Robotnik, being the egotist that he is, takes this as something of a personal affront and builds his own from whole cloth. That, or he ignores it in favor of stuffing animals into Badniks.

Moving onto to character changes; some of these are minor, some not. Note not of this is set in stone yet, and can change.

Antoine

His sword is a family heirloom, but he lost it somewhere. This lurks at the back of his mind as a constant failure.

Bunnie

Bunnie becomes a rabbot some time into her Freedom Fighter career, after she gets captured and used as a test for Robotnik’s Roboticizer, if he builds one.

Chuck

Not sure yet if he gets captured by Robotnik or no.

I’m also debating on whether or not to make him Sonic’s Uncle, as in biologically speaking. Personally I think it might be a good twist.

Dulcy

Honestly I completely forgot about her until now. Other than giving an explanation as to where she comes from, I can’t think of any notable changes to her at the moment.

Nicole

I’m debating whether to keep her an AI in a handheld, or have her be a flesh and blood member of the group. Probably the former though.

Nicole might be one of the more important members of the group, being able to access computer systems, even the ancient ones. However, doing so puts her at some risk of viruses or security measures, especially if she’s an AI.

Rotor

The second most useful member of the group; he makes the weapons they use aganist Robotnik’s robots.

Sally

This Sally isn’t near as confident as in the show. Not quite sure yet; perhaps its because she hasn’t dared to make any major attempts at fighting Robotnik as in the show, or that she has just tried one that turned into a major bust and got one of the group (Bunnie) captured.

She wouldn’t admit it, but she’s begun to give up on the idea of reclaiming her kingdom in favor of just surviving.

Snively

Yet again, I didn’t think of anything for him. He still works Robotnik of course, but not sure if he’s related yet.

Anyways, this is the meat of the stuff I’ve determined for this AU so far. Will probably expand on it later, life allowing.

–

Hmmm, fascinating, veeeery fascinating. I think it could be safe to keep Snively as Robotnik’s nephew, even here- like all incarnations of the guy there isn’t exactly oodles of backstory to work with, and Sniv’s dynamic works best when there’s a blood relation given that it adds an extra edge of personal betrayal and disillusionment to their dynamic. 

Also, I would vote for keeping Chuck as Sonic’s uncle- heck, one idea I always liked to envision for more game-centered continuities was that Sonic initially got his plane from Chuck, and he works well as a means of explaining who raised Sonic and all that. 

I believe it was hinted that Eggmanland/Robotnikland/Robotropolis used to be New York city, or something like it! 

But yes, interesting thing you got going here. Hope you manage to figure things out to your contentment. 

#Sonic the Hedgehog #OVA #SatAM #submission

[tumblunni]

For no reason out of nowhere, I’m gonna ramble headcanons/how to combine the dub and sub into a better dub ideas for the second digimon movie, Hurricane Touchdown! Aka the one that was awkwardly stitched on as part of the first movie in english, aka ‘that one where lopmon is fuckin terrifying and also american’ (oh and I know its a nitpick, but to me it makes sense to call it the second movie instead of the third?? the greymon/parrotmon fight bit wasnt a ‘movie’, it was the pilot episode for Adventure in japan. its more like an ova I think, but i dunno if the company ever gave it an official status in the movie listings...)

ANYWAY WHATEVER WHERE WAS I oh yeah Bunni Really Liked This Dumb Movie And Wished It Was Its Own Season And Kinda Wants To Make A Dumb Rpgmaker Game Of It So, ideas!

* Well... couldnt it have worked as its own season...? One of the only flaws I can agree was a significant problem was that ‘willis steals the spotlight’, tho i dont really think thats totally bad since I liked him a lot more than the 02 protagonists. But yeah, honestly you could kinda have the same movie if all the 02 characters were written out, or if Willis met with literally any group of digidestined from any series, or even completely new ones. The dub made it worse by writing out all of the scenes with the Adventure digidestined, thus writing out the 02 kids’s entire motivation for the whole plot :P And i think honestly this plot could have been a whole season if it was stretched out, and if it had original characters replacing the 02 ones. It would be unique and odd to have our protagonist be a super loner sassy asshole tamer who outright refuses to team up with anyone, fearing they’d just get vanished away by this giant terrifying digimon that’s stalking him. If the backstory was revealed slowly throughout the season it could be a very good mystery to keep us all hooked! And if there were more scenes about the other kids breaking past willis’s shell and becoming a team, rather than just ‘davis cries a joke, suddenly everything is over’. plus there’d naturally be stuff to pad out the season length if we had to be introduced to these characters and give them all their own amount of screentime and development. Or, seriously, if this was just like... a longer movie, or a mini season like Tri... Maybe we could have had the 02 kids in it and not had them feel overshadowed and useless? Maybe everyone aside from Davis could get some screentime too :P

* Maybe it could be an excuse to show off all the armor and jogress digivolutions that this series canonically has yet never used? I think it was budget constraints or not enough time in the season or something, but there was a HUGE amount of unused designs for every potential combination of crests! And all they ever got was to be trading cards and occasionally enemies in miscellanous videogames. (Oh and Lynxmon got to be an enemy in Tamers and Frontier, probably cos its the one that looks coolest animated lol!) Oh and it was odd how Cyber Sleuth seemed to retcon some previously-unrelated digimon into the Imperialdramon of Silphymon. Now Valkyrmon is something Silphymon can digivolve into, and shares the same character model even. Odd! But man it would be cool if it did get officially added to the 02 version of the evo line!

* Potential for giving Yolei and Cody a bigger plot role in the whole thing, maybe Yolei is trying to research into the mystery digimon cos she’s the computer expert? they almost never let her actually do computer stuff compared to how much izzy got to do in the first season :P It could also help thread the plot together a bit! Like, have various scenes of the different kids finding out that the Adventure kids have gone missing in different ways- Yolei could be freaking out cos she cant contact izzy, maybe Cody had a study session with joe and arrived to find his entire house empty.  And maybe have a lil plot of Yolei being like ‘oh god how can we do this without izzy’ and being able to prove herself and gain confidence instead of just living in his shadow. Also she’d just be useful in finding out stuff about mysterious dissappearances that happened in the past, via the internet, and maybe the gang could encounter willis in less of an accidental way and more like they were actively trying to track down wendigomon and THEN bump into him by accident? I dunno, just make them actually DO more. Do more to save their own damn friends. Not just the willis and davis road trip show where davis only exists to tell willis how to do various digivolution stuff :P

* I feel bad that my brain kinda defaults to calling him Willis, even though I still have no clue why they changed it from Wallace. ‘Hey this american name could be a different american name!’ I think its just stuck in my head cos i watched the dub version so much... So lol I dunno, smash them both into canon! Make him wallace but kokomon calls him willis since they’re this child-minded monster thing. (Could also keep calling terriermon gummymon and maybe even mistake the 02 kids for various people wallace used to know as a kid?)

* Dub-added stuff to keep and to toss out! I like the idea of Willis being the person izzy talked to on the internet in the previous movie. I dont like the idea that he somehow created diaboromon! You could write that out and still keep the scene, maybe even still have willis saying ‘its all my fault’ because he’s just recently lost his digimon partner to a mysterious virus and he thinks maybe the same thing is happening here/that kokomon is causing the chaos rather than diaboromon. Oh, and I like the idea of it being stated to be a virus corrupting a digimon, rather than just being... never explained wtf happened. A virus that’s the remnants of diaboromon would even make sense, though the continuity order in the dub kinda makes it impossible. (SO MANY PLOT HOLES lol)

* PLAYABLE FLASHBACKS YO and/or maybe an omake type epilogue thing after the ending like srsly give us a chance to play as willis with both his digimon and how not dead and not evil they are An epilogue would be good as a way to add some more fanon-y headcanons and ideas for what happened after kokomon came back. (or if he even did) I feel like a lot of people complain that the dub ‘changed too much’ by confirming that kokomon came back, and that somehow a happy ending is worse than an ambiguous bittersweet one. Which we didnt even have in the first place cos we saw kokomon’s digiegg in the sub anyway, even if we didnt see it hatching. BUT ANYWAY My idea for keeping that bittersweet element even if we have Happy Kokomon Is Alive Time! Its.... the dub! Or rather taking literally something that was actually just a shameless footage-chopping lazyness XD Cos the dub just showed kokomon in endigomon form in the added scene where he totally came back. Making it rather obvious even to kid-bunni that it was a dub edit, lol! BUT WHAT IF THAT! What if the bittersweet aspect is that kokomon is forever changed by the whole experience? Still having aftereffects of being corrupted, even though he isnt evil anymore. So his evolution line is still a super scary virusized one and he’s stuck unable to de-digivolve from champion level. So we could have funny/cute/sad scenes of Willis trying to live with this very large very destructive digimon, kinda like that one episode of tamers. How do I hide a seven foot tall cyborg rabbit man from my mom?? And it could also be bittersweet because kokomon’s spent so long frozen at the time when he was taken away, and now he has to cope with his two best friends having grown up without him. He’s still this childlike personality stuck in a scary body, even if he’s not dangerous anymore. And it could be very stressful for everyone involved, but also heartwarming! I mean imagine giant scary kokomon being all shy and holding his tiny big brother’s hand while crossing the street! Imagine him hugging willis and squishing him! XD So it could just be a short epilogue episode of willis and partners fighting some sort of villain of the week, and showing slice-of-life antics with them. Just establishing that their problems arent all over yet, but also that they’ll probably be strong enough to deal with it, after all they’ve managed to survive so far. And maybe some cute mini scenes of them still keeping in touch with the 02 kids as pen pals! And maybe even something like an emotional scene of willis finally introducing his digimon partners to his parents, after failing at keeping them secret? Itd be nice to see his parents tbh, i always wondered what they were like! (or does he have a single mother? since he was only talking about her during the movie)

* Random but: personality headcanons for terriermon and lopmon/kokomon! We honestly dont really get much of a personality for terriermon in this movie, he just seems like a sort of generic nice cute partner compared to the Tamers terriermon’s snarky personality. And, naturally, we dont really learn anything about kokomon’s real personality, considering the circumstances :P So! Headcanons! I always headcanoned kokomon as being a really sweet, kind and shy lil babbu before all this tragedy happened. Someone who always relied on his brother and his human friend, so being separated from them hit him extra hard. I feel like if terriermon was the one who was infected he would have had his eldritch horror take a very different form, whatever the virus is its something that feeds on the personal anxieties of the digimon it infected. Also, yeah, it’d just be cuter this way in my hypothetical epilogue fanfic ideas! Scaredy-cat wendigomon!! :3 And I kinda feel that maybe terriermon could stand out more from tamers-terriermon if he wasnt just the more level-headed equivelant, but if he was MORE OF THAT! Like... a more grumpy loner matt-type personality. After all the tragedy that happened to him ans willis he’s become quite toughened and determined to protect his tamer even though he’s too small to make an impact against his giant infected brother. And maybe like how willis has stopped having human friends, terriermon has become more cold too, and they could perhaps have more conflicts together because of it? And like.. the reason terriermon never digivolved to champion could be because of this rift between them, rather than just ‘literally the only reason the 02 kids are here is so that they can tell willis how to use his digivice’. Like seriously HOW DID GUMMYMON DIGIVOLVE TO TERRIERMON THEN?? Plus it’d just have more dynamic to their friendship and flesh the story out more. It could prove how absolutely fire-forged their friendship is, that these two grumpy sassmasters that even sass at each other still care so deeply even if they suck at showing it. Also the idea of a badass tiny terriermon is just aweome to me. Imagine him with a cape flowing in the wind, and sunglasses at night, and then imagine someone who feels like that even when theyre not wearing them. Thats how movie-terriermon always felt to me during the scenes of him fighting wendigomon! And I cheered a whole load at him digivolving and being able to fight toe-to-toe with wendigomon in the BEST FIGHT SCENE IN THE SERIES with the running up walls and GUN PUNCH TO THE FACE and just EVERYTHINGGGG the animation in this movie was too strong

* have i mentioned that i love this movie

* a lot

#i dunno what to tag this as so i can find it later #dumb digimon thing #there you go

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

> Karkat: Open M-to-tha-izzemo.

CCG RIZZLE NOW openizzle mizzay on board FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY.

CCG: HIZZEY FUTIZZLE ME, WHAT D-YA T-H-TO-THA-IZZINK ABOUT DIS EXPLODED JADEBOT BUSINESS? CCG: MUST BE HO-SLAPPIN' REALLY MISSION CRITICAL, OR JADE W-TO-THA-IZZOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED CLOCKIN' 'N TOUCH WIT US, RIGHT? CCG: SUM-M SUM-M IMPERATIVE TA OUR SURVIVAL NO DOUBT? CCG: HEY DOUCHE BAG, BE YOU THERE 

??? gardenGnostic [?GG] AT ?:?? responded ta mizzy. 

?GG dogg: oh jeez, why be i doing dis ?GG: Subscribe nigga, get yo issue. this be so stupid! 

CCG: PIZZY DOWN HARLEY, DIS PRACTICALLY D-TO-THA-IZZOESN'T IZZLE CONCERN YOU AT DIS PIZZY 

?GG: bluhhh Y-to-tha-izzoure so funnizzle!!!!! 

CCG: NUTTIN TO SIZZY, FUTIZZLE ME? It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. CCG: NOT EVEN A FIZZEW GANG BANGIN' WIZZY OF SCORN FO` ME OR THA NARCOLEPTIC IDIOT? Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga. CCG: IT'S B-TO-THA-IZZEEN A WHIZZILE SINCE WIZZY SPARRED, HIZZAY I'VE MISZE' THE SWIZNEET ST'N OF YO' BIZZARBS 

?GG: be you enjoy'n yoself kizzle? 

CCG: HIZZLE YOU BE SO DUMB YIZZAY ACTUALLY TIZZY DIS BE A RUZE. CCG: YOU COME AIZZY DIS WAY N YOU SIZZY DON'T GIT THAT ALL THA S-H-TO-THA-IZZIT WIZZAY BIZZEEN CRUISIN' YOU 'BOUT BE REAL. CCG: WHIZZLE THIZZE FIZZY WOULD I BE PULL'N A STIZZLE LIZNIKE DIS, WHIZNAT A WIZZASTE OF TIME. CCG: I REALLIZZLE BE CRACK-A-LACKIN` TA FUTURE ME, HE'S JUST BEIN AN EVIZZLE TOO'. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. 

?GG fo' real: well obviously i know some frontin' youve said are true ?GG: its jizzy H-to-tha-izzard ta takes crack-a-lackin` at fizzle value wizzy youre always so nasty! 

CCG: YOU KIZZY, IT REALLIZZLE AMAZ'N HOW BEHIND THA TIMES YOU BE. CCG: IT ALMIZZLE AS IF YOU SLEPT THROUGH DIS WHOLE ADVENTIZZLE CCG: OH WIZZAIT, THAT BE ESSENTIALLY TRUE. CCG: IT WAS HILARIOUS WATCHING YIZNOU GROW UP. CCG: YOU TIZZY YOU HAD ALL THA ANSWA, FROLICK'N ALL OVA YO' ISLAND BEIN INFURIATINGLY CHIPPA, BUILD'N ROBO-BUNNIES LIZZAY A MORON N ULTIMATELY BUSTIN' EVERYTHING. CCG bitch ass nigga: YOU WERE SO SIZNURE YO' DREAMS TOLD YOU EVERYTH'N YOU NEEDIZZLE TA KNOW. CCG: N NOW LOOK AT YOU CCG fo yo bitch ass: YOU SUDDENLY UNDERSTAND JACK SHIT. 

?GG: Snoop dogg is in this bitch. ok i understand that you be shot calla grizzoup of playas n yizzle be 'n siznome siznort of trouble ?GG: Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. but mizzay if yizzle had been funky ass ta me instead of terroriz'n me all thoze years i would have believed you ?GG: Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house. n we could have worked togetha ta solve yo' problems as well as ours ?GG: it just makes me sad to think T-H-to-tha-izzats probablizzle impossible now coz yizzle be so angry n stubborn! 

CCG with my forty-fo' mag: DON'T TIZZELL ME WHAT IMPOSSIBLE COZ I'M ANGRY AND STUBBORN. CCG: I CRUISIN' KNIZZOW W-H-TO-THA-IZZAT THOZE ASSETS MAKE POSSIBLE. CCG: THEY MADE YIZZOU POSSIBLE, GOTS IT like old skool shit??? 

?GG: uh huh 

CCG with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back D-YA EVEN HAVE ANY IDEA HIZNOW LUCKY YOU BE TA BE GRACED BY MAH DIVINE FURY? CCG: TA HAVE THA PRIVILEGE OF TRIPPIN' TA BE STUDY N MOCKED BY ME FO` YO' WHIZZLE PATHETIC MISERABLE LIFE? CCG: D-YA REALIZZLE I'M YO' GIZNOD? Tru niggaz do niggaz. YES, YO' LITERAL GOD, THAT RIGHT. 

?GG sho nuff: sure karkat, whateva yizzle sizzy! Death row 187 4 life. 

CCG: N I HAVE TAKEN TIME OUT OF MAH BUSY GODLY SCHEDIZZLE TO SCRUTINIZE YO' PIZZLE EXISTENCE. CCG: OUT OF THA COUNTLESS TRILLIONS OF LIZZLE FIZZAY I BROUGHT INTO REALITY THROUGH ANGRY GRUBFUCK POWA ALONE, I HAVE SELIZZLE YIZZAY FOR EXAMINATION N HARASSMENT. CCG: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. PERSONALLIZZLE I THINK THAT WARRANTS A SHAWTY GRATITUDE, N JIZZY MAYBE, A BIT OF DEFERENCE. CCG: A CURTSY, PERHAPS? CCG: BUT YEAH GO AHEEZEE AND KIZZAY BLOW'N ME OFF LIZNIKE THA FLAKEY SHAWTY TIZZY YIZZOU BE. 

FUTIZZLE carcinoGenizzle [FCG] 3 HOURS FROM NOW responded ta miznemo. 

FCG to increase tha peace: HEY DON'T RAP TA HA LIKE THAT YOU IZZLE PIECE OF SHIT. FCG so jus' chill: DIS BE REFLECT'N POORLIZZLE ON BOTH OF US, IT GODDAMNED EMBARRASSING. 

CCG: OH WOW, ANOTHA MIRACLE. CCG: IT MIZZY BE PERIGEES EVE, COZ GET A LOAD OF DIS HUGE BEHEMOTH LEAV'N THAT JIZZY GOTS DRAGGE' 'N. CCG: J-TO-THA-IZZADE, OIZZY DUTY BE CLEAR. WE MUST DECK DIS TURD TA THE NINES. 

FCG: OH MAH GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTIZZLE THOUGHT THAT WIZZLE A CLEVA TH'N TA SAY. WHIZNAT A DIPSHIT. 

?GG: aaauugh what tha hell!!! 

FCG: JIZZAY, I'M SORRY 'BOUT PAST MIZNE'S RETARDED BEHAVIOR. FCG: I'M NOT GO'N TA DRIZNAG OUT A HUGE APOLOGIZZLE OR NOTHIN' TRIPPIN' COZ I ALREADY APOLOGIZE' 'N AN BROTHA CONVERSATION, OK. I'M JIZZAY LETT'N YOU KNOW. 

CCG: GIZZY DAMMIZZLE, BE YIZZLE SERIZZLE? CCG: I MEAN, BE I SERIOUS????? CCG: Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. WIZZILL I BE SERIOUS 'BOUT DIS SHIT. WILL I R-E-A-DOUBLE-LIZZY BACK DIZZAY LIKE A LIZZAY FRONDED STOOGE? PLEAZE TELL ME YOE JOKING. 

FCG keep'n it real yo: PLEAZE, JUST FCG yeah yeah baby: SHUT UP FCG: I CIZZY BELIEVE I EVA THIZZAY FIZZLE ME WIZNAS THA STUPID ONE FCG: PAST ME BE THA DUMBEST BUCKIZZLE OF FESTER'N DISCHARGE I EVA FELL ASS BACKWARDS INTO. FCG: CIZZY ON, YOU KNOW DIS TA BE TRUE. SHOT CALLA ALL THA PIZZAY USZES WE UZE' TA RAP TA?? FCG: THIZZAY WIZNERE EVEN PASTA THAN YOU, N THEREFORE DUMBER. 

CCG: YIZZLE, I REMEMBA ALL THOZE DUMBSHIT PAST USZES, BUT THEY DIZZY HOLD A SAGGIN' JACKASS CANDLE TA FUTURE USZES. CCG: N YOE THA FUTUREST ME I EVA HIZZAY THA CROTCH BLISTER'N MISFORTUNE OF BUSTIN' WIT, SO THA FUCKHEEZEE TRIZZLE GOES TA YOU. CCG: I MEAN, MAH GOD, WHY. CCG: BE PROXIMITY TA THAT NASTY LOOK'N SPACETIME RIP ON THA TIMELINE SAGGIN' WIT YO' HEEZEE? CCG: BE THIZZAY WHAT CAUSING YOU TA FEEL PITY FO` DIS IMBECILE?

FCG like this and like that and like this and uh: LOOK, JADE NOT THIZZAY BAD OK. FCG: YOU JIZZY GOTS TOO WORKED UP, N YOU CAN'T SEE THAT. FCG with my forty-fo' mag: N NOW ALL DIS FROTH'N PANDIZZLE SAGGIN' OUT OF YO' MOUTH BE JUST RIDICIZZLE OVERCOMPENSATION FO` YOUR OWN RIDIN' N MISTAKES, N MASK'N SIZNOME FEEL'N YOE NIZZLE REALLY 'N TOUCH WITH. FCG: DIS BE ALL SO OBVIZZLE, I'M FLUSH'N LIKE A MOTHERFUCKA 'N EMBARRASSMENT GANG BANGIN' TA IZZLE IT TA YOU, N EVEN WORZE, STEPPIN' BLINGIN' IT EXPLAINED TA ME BY THA SMART ONE THREE HOURS AGO N STIZZILL ACT'N LIKE A MOIST GLIZZAY EVEN AFTA BEIN SO SIZZLE SCHOOLFED. 

CCG: I D-TO-THA-IZZON'T BIZZLE DIS. PLEAZE TELL ME DIS BE A JOKE. 

FCG: YOU SIZZLE SO YOSELF, WE DON'T JIZZLE AROUND. IT JUVENILE, REMEMBER. 

CCG: I'M RHYMIN' TA VOMIT. CCG: Chill as I take you on a trip. I'M RIDIN' A MENTAL NOTE TO SLAP MYSIZZLE THRIZZAY HOURS FROM NOW, FO` BEIN ENOUGH OF A SAP TA STIZNART DEVELOP'N RED FEEL'N FO` A DUMB DIPPIN' HUMAN, IF I'M READ'N BETWEEN THA LINES CORRECTLY. 

FCG: I JUST SLAPPED MYSELF! Boo-Yaa! I REMEMBERED MAH LAME NIZZAY TA MYSELF FRIZZAY THREE HIZZLE AGO, AIZZY THEN SLAPPED MYSELF SPECIFICIZZLE TA MOCK YOU. FCG: IT PERPETRATIN' TOO, YIZZOU'LL FEEL IT 'N A WHILE. N THIZNEN THA G-H-TO-THA-IZZOST OF PAST ME WILL CRY. FCG: PAST ME DIZNOESN'T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE. HE A STUPIZZLE BAWL'N WIGGLA PHANTOM. HE DIZZEAD, NOT A REAL HOMEY ANYMORE, L-TO-THA-IZZIKE ME. FCG thats off tha hook yo: I'M THA RIZZAY ONE. YOE FAKE, A SHADOW OF A SAD MEMORY T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT PISZE' ITS PANTS WHILE SCREAMING. FCG with the S-N-double-O-P: TIZZY TA DEAL WIT IT. 

CCG bizzle FCG frizzay respond'n ta memo. Subscribe nigga, get yo issue. 

FCG unbanned hizzle from ridin' ta mizzy. 

FCG banned CCG from rhymin' ta memo. 

CCG unbizzle himself from respond'n to memo. 

?GG: i cant takes dis anymore!!!!!!!! ?GG: i dizzle even kniznow what im read'n hiznere bizzay its preposterous n ive had it! ?GG: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. i be just so angry, i cizzy belizzle i let you push me around all thoze years ?GG: you be completely out of yo' miznind, i wizzy too funky ass by J-to-tha-izzust block'n yizzle n typizzle frowny faces n stuff ?GG: i should H-to-tha-izzave let you HAVE IT! Keep'n it gangsta dogg.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

FCG mah nizzle: YIZZES so show some love, niggaz!!!!! FCG: LET DIS FUCKA K-N-TO-THA-IZZOW THA SCIZZORE JADE. DIS BE HOW WE ROLL. 

?GG: SHUT UP!!!!!!! ?GG: future karkat, if yiznou reallizzle be future karkat... It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg.... ?GG puttin tha smack down: where d-ya git off bustin' yizzy cizzay just suddenlizzle act like wizzere pizzy coz you sizzle you apologize'???? ?GG: if yiznou want ta apologize T-H-to-tha-izzen bootylicious i be all ears! but jizzust mention'n it off hand n then mackin' at yoself tha sizzy way you yell at me all tha tizzime as if i nee' a knight to come S-to-tha-izzave me from yoursizzle be so lame, not ta mention completely insizzle ?GG mah nizzle: i cizzay izzle believe tha th'n im typ'n H-to-tha-izzere! It dont stop till the wheels fall off. dis be so stupid, talking ta two of you at once be tha worst th'n imaginable ?GG: yizzle treat everyone horrizzle, even yoself, i cizzy izzle fizzle how awful it is ta be yizzou ?GG: past karkat, yizzy act'n like a bigga jerk thizzay he be n i think you know that! Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. why dont you takes his advice n grizzle up ?GG: as if theres even a real difference between you two. three hours be hardly any time at all, yizzle be tha S-to-tha-izzame person YOU STRAIGHT TRIPPIN' IZZLE! Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up.!!!!!!!! 

CCG: OH SHIT 

FCG, chill yo: YIZZY, THIZZLE WAS BOOTYLICIOUS. WE BOTH HAD IT COMING, ESPECIALLY HIM. BOOTYLICIOUS WIZNORK JADE. 

?GG: stop it!!!! ?GG: ugh, i dont knizzle whats worze, jerk kizzle or goofy sycizzle karkat ?GG: i cant stand it, whether youre try'n ta be funky ass or just bein a crazy izzle, you are jizzust so wizneird!!! ?GG: im through frontin' you, i dont even care 'bout dis stupid exploded rizzle mission, whateva thizzle was 

FCG: OH R-TO-THA-IZZIGHT, 'BOUT THAT FCG: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. YIZZY WE NEED TO RAP FCG: I MEAN WE H-TO-THA-IZZAVE ALREADIZZLE FROM MAH PERSPECTIVE FCG: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. BUT YOE GO'N TA BE REALLY BUSY SIZZLE, COZ YOE 'BOUT TA BALLER YO' SESSION FCG: Drop it like its hot. SO DIZZLE WORRY 'BOUT IT UNTIL YOU DO, THEN JUST HIZNIT ME UP, WE'LL RAP 'BOUT IT 

?GG: hahizzle, FIZZY CHANCE!!!! 

FCG: Nigga get shut up or get wet up. LOOK I KNOW TH'N BE W-TO-THA-IZZEIRD BIZZLE US RIGHT NOW N YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE BUGGIN' with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back FCG: ESPECIALLY AT THAT LOSER. FCG with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back BUT PIMPIN' WILL CHANGE, 'N T-TO-THA-IZZIME YIZZLE SEE I'M NOT QIZZAY SO AWFUL, OK? 

??? turntechgodheezee [ mah nizzle?TG] AT ?:?? respondizzle to memo. 

?TG: ahahahahah oh god ?TG: dizzy i cizzle believe you were just gett'n on our caze 'bout weed-smokin' on tha trizzay gizzle ?TG so you betta run and grab yo glock: n then literally tha very next memo you are slobber'n all killa jade ?TG: Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. thats just perfect hahahaha 

CCG banned ?TG aww nah: F-R-to-tha-izzom respond'n ta memo. 

FCG rebanned ?TG, betta check yo self: frizzle ridin' ta memo sho nuff. 

?GG: dave wizzy diznont go! Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. ?GG so jus' chill: yizzle gots ta save me from dis insanizzle  like this and like that and like this and uh:( 

FCG: OH I SEE, NOW YOU COULD UZE A KNIGHT, HIZZY VERIZZLE RHYMIN', HMMM. FCG like this and like that and like this and uh: GIZZLE I CIZZAY WAIT FO` YOU TA BE FUTURE YOU, SLIGHTLY L-TO-THA-IZZESS FUTURE YOU IS SUCH A GOD DIZZLE PIZZILL 

?GG thats off tha hook yo: i cizzay wait fo` future you ta future kiss mah ass! 

CCG: YEAH hittin that booty! THAT WHIZZLE I'M CRACK-A-LACKIN` 'BOUT. 

?GG: i also cant wizzy fo` past yizzay ta past driznop dead and go ta hell, PAST TENZE!!!!!!!! ?GG: W-H-to-tha-izzen be thoze th'n go'n ta happen?? or W-to-tha-izzill hizzay already past/future happened yeah yeah baby????? ?GG: i want ta pizzay anotha pusha on mah finga so i know when its tiznime ta throw a party, chill yo!!!! 

FCG: HAHAHAHA, YIZZLE HEAR TIZZY YOU OBSOLIZZLE PILE OF GARBAGE? J-TO-THA-IZZADE JUST FLIPPED YOU OFF WIT A COLORFUL FINGER. 

CCG so jus' chill: DAWG, SHIZZAY OBVIOIZZLE HATES YOU MORE. SHE CIZZLE YIZZAY A SYCOPHANT WHIZZICH IS A HUNDRED TIZZLE MIZNORE DESCRIPTIVELY WORZE THIZNAN JUST BEING A RUN OF THA MILL SCUMBAG LIKE ME. CCG: SHE BE TOTALLIZZLE ON TA YOU N HOW DESPICABLE YOU BECOME, CAN YIZZOU BLAME HA FO` HAT'N US? 

FCG: NO, I CAN BLAME YIZZOU, YOE THA ONE WIT NO SHOT CALLA WHO ALL TWISTED UP INSIDE. FCG: HOW DIS FO` A PIZZLE, EVERYBODY. FCG: PIZZLE KARKAT ONLY TALKS TA PIZZAY JADE F-R-TO-THA-IZZOM NIZZLE ON, N THA TWO OF TIZZY CIZZAY BICKA LIZZAY SHITTY SHAWTY CHILDREN FO` HOURS/YIZZLE RESPECTIVELY. FCG: N FIZZLE KARKAT ONLY TALKS TA FUTIZZLE JADE, AN ARRANGEMENT WHIZZLE ONLY INTELLIGIZZLE DISCOURZE TAKES PLIZZACE BETWEEN TIZZY CIVILIZE', MATURE, GROWN ASSED ADULTS. FCG yaba daba dizzle: BE T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT TOO MUCH TA ASK?????? 

?GG: jesizzles will you just bizzy me already???? ?GG: mah heezee hurts so bad now i think im rhymin' ta crizzy 

FCG: MIZZAY YOU SHOULD JIZNUST BAN HER ALREADY N END DIS TORMENT SINCE YIZZLE DRAGGE' HIZZY INTO DIS. 

CCG: FUCK THIZZAT YOU BIZZAN HER. YOE THA ONE WHO SEEMS TA "CIZZY".

FCG: WILL YOU SHUT YO' MOUTH, DAWG THA FIZZLE UP, AND BIZNAN DIS POOR GIZZAY ALREADY? 

?GG: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa XO ?GG like old skool shit: i will just ban myself! Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf.!!! ?GG: Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air. *JIZZLE HARLIZZLE BANNIZZLE HERSELF FRIZZAY RESPOND'N TA THA GRUMPY SHIT HEEZEE MISERIZZLE Z-TO-THA-IZZONE, N BE NEVA COM'N BIZNACK* ?GG: pchooooooooizzle 

[?GG] ceaze' respond'n to mizzemo. 

FCG: OK, THERE. SHE GONE. FCG: MAYBE NOW YOU GIT IT. FCG: HOW HIDEOUS EVERYONE THIZZLE YOU BE, MAYBE YOU'LL FINALLY STOP FUCK'N EVERYTH'N UP. 

CCG: Holla! HIZZUH 

FCG ridin' in mah double R: WHAT 

CCG: I THINK CCG: I WAS PROBABLY WRONG 'BOUT J-TO-THA-IZZADE CCG: SHE A SHAWTY LIZZESS LAME THAN I THOUGHT 

FCG: SHHHHSHHSHSHSHSH FCG: SHE CAN STIZZILL READ DIS YIZZAY STUPID FIZZUCK FCG: NOW NIZZLE THA T-TO-THA-IZZIME TA OPEN YIZZAY VIZNEINS N WRITE PIZZY 'BOUT YIZZAY FEEL'N 

CCG mah nizzle: FIZZAY YOU, I'M JUST VOIC'N A HARMLESS OBSERVATION OK CCG: IT NIZZY MAH BUSINIZZLE IF SOME LIZZUNK HEEZEE 'N THA FUTURE GETS CARRY IZZLE WIT SHOT CALLA SHAWTY THOUGHTS I MAY OR MIZZAY NOT NIZZLE BE PIMPIN' 

FCG: I... FCG cuz its a doggy dog world: BIZNUT FCG: HOW COULD THAT EVEN BE A REAL TH'N I TYPED THREE H-TO-THA-IZZOURS AGO, HOW CIZNOULD I BE DIS STUPID. FCG ridin' in mah double R: WE BE JIZZUST THA DUMBEST FUCKA WHO HUSTLA LIVED AREN'T WE. 

CCG: SPEAK FO` YOSELF. 

FCG: I DON'T EVEN HAVE THA ENERGY TA BAN US. FCG: I'M JIZZUST LEAVING. 

[FCG] ceaze' weed-smokin' to memo. 

CCG: YEAH 

[CCG] ceaze' respond'n to memo.

> J-to-tha-izzade: Consult crazy ass nigga.

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #pg2851