#this is gonna be the funniest episode in the podcast i know it

[nicoscheer]

Do you want to discover what bands @mileskane listens to while ironing his shirts? Then listen to this episode of the music podcast @kendedital with the nicest and funniest guy in the music business!

We had a blast! 🫶🏽

-

"I'm willing to play anywhere. Even now, if I were offered a gig at the pub across the street, l'd take it. I simply love playing. If you asked, I'd play right this moment. I just love playing, I'm not arsed. It's what it's all about." X

-

Miles when being asked about AM’s new sound:

mk: "you gotta respect it, you know, like, that's me bro, i'm always gonna have his back, you know what i mean? yeah and i respect for a big band to follow their gut. that's what al does and you gotta respect it whether you like it or not. it's kind of what all great artists do."

interviewer: "like it's cool that you kinda... you want to fucking do it so you do

mk: "yeah, man, that's me boy. if he wants to sing french or sing nigerian, i'm gonna have his back, you know what i mean?"

-

🫶🏽🫶🏽🥹🥹🥺my boys

Like I hate it that he’s always asked bout AM and TLSP cause he’s promotion his solo tour but this is 😘

So you’re telling me they are literally promoting Miles and Liam djing with a Tlsp pic 😭😭🫠🥺

Imagine if Alex were you just casually show up behind that DJ booth

with his bosom friend Alex Turner

At Crammerock we saw him strolling backstage. We decided to put on our naughty shoes and ask him. He turned out to be very amable and he was immediately enthusiastic about our concept,

So, you set out on your own

You shut up shop, you're leavin' home

You feel no need to settle down

In the crippled crook of your earth bound town

And you've been down this road before

Which is not to say you're bored

Or that you shouldn't want for more

It's just your expectations should be lower

There must be somethin' more than this

More than ideal homes or domestic bliss

What is there left for you to do

'Cause you've seen the future and it's nothin' new

And you've been down this road before

Which is not to say you're bored

Or that you shouldn't want for more

It's just your expectations should be lower, should be lower

And you've been down this road before

Which is not to say you're bored

Or that you shouldn't want for more

It's just your expectations should be lower, should be lower

Apparently wasn’t happy with the text placement so had to repost it 🤣🤣🥹

His eyebrow slit and bear looking fucking clean

Also I hate everybody who lives close to Gent or Sheffield

Miles last night with chef Tom brown and Jay Forrester at the opening of Tom’s new oyster bar (pearly queen shoreditch/ where Tom and friends repeatedly posted that the logo outside is the new bat signal 🤨y’know like miles guitarist said that the mirrorball is their bat signal) (also the fact that Tom reposted the pic of them via puppetspaces ig)

The pictures of Miles with Tom and Jay

So proud of him selling out within less than two hours

Miles helping Tom with taste testing

I love that as soon Chef Tom Brown is involved everybody starts using Miles’ music; here a custom knife made for TB using troubled son

A nice recap of the opening night, the way Miles disappears in that hug with Tom is 🥹🥹🥹

#miles kane #Liam toon #okay I’m in love with that picture how adorable are they pls #also that poster for Japan looks absolute boss #I envy people who live in gent #08/11/2023 #so proud of him #Instagram #also no darling I hate that he’s so self deprecating sometimes like darling believe me you could play Coachella (not sure if they’d let #you after the kiss cause homophobia) but if you ever return to Coachella it’s certainly gonna be as an artist and not as a crew member #who hurt Miles again #why is he always posting fucking sad songs 😭 #what is he doing listening to this depressive music in the evening pls can we just all give him a massive hug

[chushanye]

I finally caught up to dndads after not having listened to it since June, so in order to not make a 1000 posts I will make one mega-post of all my reactions.

35 -> anthony made a reference to him being married b4, leading to me googling it, leading to me finding out there's a "at least im not anthony burch" 4chan meme

out of al the "new" epsidoes (for me) this one is still the funniest

FUCK, the goddamn convo between Normal and Hero you can't just do this to me. you can't just give me sibling dynamics and expect me to be normal about them.

36-> this ep was spoiled form me start to finish so no particular reactions but I will say Anthony is super clever for managing to spin that prophecy to come back around

37-> the contrast of the teens experiences this episode was astounding

ONE PIECE MENTIONED! 👒🏴‍☠️

"you whirling dervish of homoeroticism and pizza" is SUCH a sentence.

38-> god this episode did so much for Scary I fucking love her. "she is holds so much anger but is one of the most loving people" what if my heart bursts from the weight of it all

39 -> in my notes I just have "RONNNNNN RONNN UR IN HEAVEN BABGGIRLLLL I LOVE YOHJHUU."

40-> Freddy's bully character. Will and Freddy's syncing on that joke and screaming about it. Will going "I'm a little turned on rn I'm not gonna lie." Anthony going "Roll for Kinsley scale." all of that almost put me in an early grave.

41-> Freddy making up dumbass plans and the getting way too excited trying to explain them leading to him being out of breath and yelling and making very little sense while everyone else is trying to cut in to tell him how dumb his plan is only for him to roll ridiculously high makes up 90% of this podcast nd I will never get tired of it. also this episode solidified that Taylor is the best character to me.

42-> I hate this.

43-> Marco is way too fucking chill beung on the Titanic I'm gonna need a bit more shock and confusion from this man. like this jist makes me think he like KNOWS everything already.

44-> the next two were my favorite episodes out of the bunch and I have a like lahes worht of notes on them and I couldn't pick my favorites so I'm gonna make seperate posts for the two of those. but in the meantime:

does the ambulance driver's accent count as slavic? cause if so first slavic dndads character lmfaoo

I feel so sad for Normal because we saw thus arc coming from a mile away. I remember listening to episodes and bejng fristrated with how other characters were responding to Normal cause I KNEW it was making this worse in his mind. and like I get them too they're all going trough heinous shit but like...fucking ouch man this was so preventable

45-> Terry Jr and Glenn competing for the title of "most polite swordfight singe Ingio and Westley in the Princess Bride"

I had seperate notes for how much I loved the charactarisation for Terry Jr, Nick, Taylor and Normal so to sum it up the cast brought their A-game I was so fucking delighted.

Freddy's habit of tling over NPC's is so fucking funny. COMPLETELY disregarding the DM is hilarious when it's not happening to me.

46-> good to see Mat being a menece for once.

somebody PLEASE fucking tell me there is fanart for Abe Lincoln from this episode PLEASE.

I know I'm a tween bow at heart because Lincoln being cool again made me so fucking hyped even though that's not the point of his charactarisation 😭 agent Schmegan just brings out the cool dude in him

Hermie's death was way less dramatic than I expected it to be but rhis is only because the amazing artists in this fandom shot my expectations through the roof with the stuff they drew

BONUS: WHODADIT -> Beth is fucking SHINING in this god every joke landed.

Anthony quickly going: "nochinamenmayfeatureinthestory" everyone else going "WOAH" and Mat going fucking "FREDDY?" as is Freddy needs to explain himself???? 😭😭 please

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndaddies

[nonbinarynightcrawler]

I know im not the first person to say this but episode 100 of tma is one of the funniest podcast episodes I've ever experienced

the lack of Watcher influence having people talking like actual real people instead of the creepypasta-ass short stories

the long meandering couple

"she burned me a bit"

"and then-"

"i went back to sleep"

"oh"

the man who just. left the spiral because he was gonna be late for dinner

comedy gold

#tma #the magnus archives

[lastweeksshirttonight]

All right, gonna attempt to put the writing cap back on for this blog. And what better way to do so than to do a recap of everyone's favorite (episode) five car pileup of a game show?

It's Strike Force Wives time y'all

:thunderclap:

We are going to speak EXTENSIVELY about what a trainwreck Fallon is in this episode, but let's also take time to acknowledge that Stephen opens this episode by mispronouncing 'podcast' in two separate ways (podcant and codpast). While saying they're getting the podcasting thing down. This episode was cursed from jump street.

Giving Fallon credit where it's due, introducing John as "a frequent guest on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert" is objectively hilarious. Reminds me of the time Stephen introduced him on the Late Show as "you know him from The Love Guru", which is still the funniest introduction I have ever heard for anyone.

The introduction goes off the rails at 1:30. AND WE'RE OFF

Kimmel: "My first radio job in Seattle was called the Him and Me Show". [...] Fallon: "Which one were you?" Kimmel: "I don't know. To this day I don't know." I could listen to Kimmel talk about his radio show days for hours, honestly, just for wild bits of ephemera like this.

As we all know, the theme of this episode is Strike Force Wives. Now Fallon is clearly trying to do something akin to The Newlywed Game, where you ask a couple one question and you see if their answers match. Here is a scene from Parks and Rec showcasing the general idea (except as Tom's ludicrously named Know Ya Boo):

Fallon somehow manages to completely fuck up this very simple concept. I'll be honest, I STILL don't know how he screwed this up so badly. He just needed to ask both people the same questions and give them clearly defined subjects!

Moments right before disaster: "[Kate, John's wife] wanted more details than I had available to her, and I said 'Jimmy's gonna text you and it will all become clear.' ...He started texting her and early on, it was in no way clear."

Related, I love that Stephen and Kimmel's wives were totally up for it, Seth's did not want to do this, and John's wanted more details. Lines up pretty well with my sense of them (from the guys' descriptions and talk about them + Evie being a literal gem during the COVID shows).

Seth's kid shrieking in reaction to Seth going to try and quiet them was absolutely perfectly timed.

This will sound very silly, but I genuinely love hearing about how people met their partners. (Maybe because my story is a bit boring? Mr. Lee and I met on a dating app and managed to go the distance despite only having 3 dates before COVID shutdowns.) You can tell so much about a relationship from those kinds of stories. In that vein, Kimmel joking about how he met his wife Molly at work and spinning it, as a joke, into a sexual harrassment lawsuit waiting to happen before being a little more honest and vulnerable was very cute.

Seth and Alexi's meet cute at Chris Kattan's wedding sounds like a sitcom plot waiting to happen.

John and Kate met at "the opposite of a meet cute", the 2008 Republican National Convention. Regular followers of my blog/Buglers may remember this as the point in time where John lost his goddamn mind and did an episode of the Bugle fully naked and kept inexplicably bringing that up in-between bemoaning how catastrophically depressing his surroundings were. (Episode 44, if you're curious. Have you gone through The Bugle Archive? Maybe you should. Be sure to download and not stream!)

Kimmel: "[Your wife] could have been Sarah Palin." John, clearly holding back 15+ years of accumulated hatred and in the most purposefully even tone ever: "It could have been."

Stephen's story about meeting his wife involved him literally fleeing an old girlfriend by going to South Carolina, seeing a Phillip Glass performance that he wouldn't recommend, and seeing Evie across the room at that performance and immediately knowing she was the one he was going to marry. Which, as Seth and John point out, was probably really reassuring to that old girlfriend.

I'm pretty sure this is the first time we get loud clapping when Fallon mentions "Fever Pitch". I actually kinda like "Fever Pitch", but my grading scale for baseball movies is extremely biased and flawed. Let's be real, baseball fans, is "Major League" actually overall good? Because it's like half a funny movie and half a movie about a random baseball player stalking his ex-girlfriend.

Addendum: Queen Latifah should have been in "Fever Pitch".

Addendum to the addendum: This has been playing on a loop in my head for like a week so also Rob McElhenney should have been in Fever Pitch.

Update to Chris Kattan's wedding: Seth and Alexi were pretty convinced that Chris' marriage was not going to last very long, making their meeting even more sitcom-like. Seth thinks that Chris and his ex-wife themselves didn't really believe that wedding was going to take either.

Kimmel wants to see all the fights that come out of this game. He says this before the real chaos even begins in the episode.

Lessons about England - dimples were part of the class system in the 1970s. Totally true. Definitely a well-documented phenomenon.

As someone with chronic stomach illness, I deeply relate to Kate realizing John was the one when she was stuck on the toilet trying to determine if there was blood in her stool. That precipice where you are, as John so eloquently put it, "shitting yourself to death" in the same general area as your partner is when you find out if love is real, trust me.

With that, I also don't disagree with Seth that Kate bringing that up was probably because Fallon didn't explain this game correctly at all.

The first time I heard the little horn noise transitions in the podcast, I was so fucking happy and got really in my feelings about John and the Bugle. That apparently has not worn off at all in the gap between the last episode of the show and me re-listening to this one.

Kimmel is the one to finally break the game, as he asks the very difficult question "is it when she fell in love with me or when I fell in love with her?" Fallon's response is to acknowledge that's where it gets confusing, and then everything implodes with everyone. (John yelling "There's no 'I think', it's your fucking question!", incidentally, made me fall in love with John all over again. But was that the question? Maybe every question is, in a way, the question. The questions are truly the friends we made along the way.)

"Climb inside his head. It's a happier place."

Evie going to visit Stephen in Chicago and calling her sister about his monogrammed towels is the most Jane Austen thing anyone relates in this podcast series. She saw the magnificent grounds towels of Pemberly, Illinois!

Fallon's story about a driver dropping him off on the set of Fever Pitch (CLAPCLAPCLAP) and noticing his wife's smile and pop leads directly into John saying that Fallon described his wife like a horse. Why are you constantly thinking about horses John

Kimmel's "a horse with a Jansport" joke gets lost in the chaos, which is sad because it's the funniest part of Fallon's whole story of falling in love with his wife.

"My second question was 'what do you think bothers your wife the most about you?'" You can almost hear Kimmel's eyes bug out a bit before he follows up with "While we're pondering that..."

Kimmel has been thinking about Kate's story for a bit clearly, and is befuddled by the idea that a veteran combat medic would ask John to check her stool. I mean, he has a point.

Seth and Alexi seem like a parody of a chaotic couple sometimes. I cannot imagine caring about filling a humidifier. It seems to greatly occupy Seth's mind.

Molly and Alexi somehow ended up with different questions for the same round. Molly and Kimmel are on the same page about Kimmel's messiness at least?

Stephen pulling out his Colbert Report hat to tell Fallon "that's not what you said, but I'll accept it" made me cry laughing the first time I heard it.

Stephen: "I wanna say that she said that I'm selectively anal." Consummate frat bro Kimmel: 🤯

The moment where everyone starts going 'oh' after Stephen explains his fastidiousness is a nice, rare moment of everyone clowning on someone who isn't Fallon this episode.

Fallon thinks his wife is most irritated by his overthinking tendencies. Literally everyone else on this podcast is pretty sure that she's annoyed by his "inability to ask a coherent question". And a collection of badly worded questions asking basic concepts from all the guys.

Nancy then responded with what DOESN'T bother her, which...

I need to put a block break here because I've written too much about this podcast, lol. Happy Spooky Season!

ONWARDS!

I forgot this episode also had the adventures of Fallon eating the weirdest food possible in bed, like pizza and ramen. (Seth squeaks "soup?!" in a high-pitched quiet voice in the background.) Stephen, when asked if he eats food in bed, says he'll occasionally have a lozenge, which I am pretty sure does not qualify as food.

John: "What irritates me most about [Kate] - I hope she doesn't mind me saying this, she shits blood sometimes." Y'all I love two men and this is one of them

The Ryan Reynolds commercials are hit or miss, but the phrase "ivory underground bunker" is one I've gotten a lot of mileage out of to describe certain members of the US Congress.

Fallon forgot that there was a third option to his question about pet names. You could not script better escalation of absurdity.

The half-hit lightning strike is such a good noise. It sounds like a rustling sheet (something Seth notes pretty accurately).

Stephen's utterly convoluted explanation of how he thinks his imaginary version of his wife's pet name for him is Steve is, as Seth points out, a pretty solid way to answer a Jimmy Fallon question.

Seth and John both seem bewildered at the idea of calling someone "love duck", which, fair.

Esteban Colberto definitely is a deep cut. It's such a deep cut that it seems like Colbert completely fucking forgot about it.

Everything about Anastasio Somosa on this podcast kills me. Kimmel devoted almost 5 hours to making an AI message of Somosa telling Stephen he's proud of him as his son, which also kills me. If Kimmel and John ever joined their trolling forces, I think they could probably do some absolutely insane damage.

Molly's pet name answer: "Trump called him a low-rated loser, does that count?"

Alexi getting the pet name question so wrong that she just named her actual pet makes Stephen laugh harder than I have EVER heard him laugh. Ever.

Ranking everyone's family traditions from most to least weird: Meyers family's secret language > Kimmel's birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas (honestly a great idea) > Colbert men singing songs from the movie Zulu > Fallon banging pots and pans outside on NYE > Colbert family sharing the same story over and over again like they've never heard it > Kimmel making 20+ fishes > Alexi's father's karaoke nights > Oliver Uno championship (also a Lee family tradition, weirdly enough) > John and Kate having Italian food on Thanksgiving (this feels super LA, I know a lot of people who do this or get sushi)

Weird to hear Stephen briefly transform into my dad while discussing Zulu.

To round us off, a collection of quotes John has about Fallon's incredible inability to run this game: "Your staff all need their wages doubled." "Just because you inflect up at the end of a sentence doesn't make it a question." "They've had to insert an internal logic to what you're asking, and you're complaining that THEY'RE confused!" (upon the question being changed in the same round) "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" "When you ask her how's her day, what do you say? 'How do you think... days went? For your sister's sister?'" "You're being fed through Google Translate, that's how you sound." "Jimmy. How do you think this went?"

#strike force five #john oliver #stephen colbert #seth meyers #jimmy kimmel #jimmy fallon #this episode is still extremely funny every time i listen to it #woo writing!!

[good-realtor-bad-realtor-dynamic]

I'm gonna be rewatching and replaying this episode of the podcast a lot. Glenn and Charlie were on something and I haven't laughed this hard in ages!

Glenn providing sweet, sweet fan service to the creeps with those fuckin arms out. All the lads looked good today.

THEY KNOW WE LIKE GLENN'S BAND TSHIRTS!!!!

Glenn opening with a Take on t-shirt sleeve lengths

Sports talk! Which means we get to hear Rob beg Glenn to watch his shows and Glenn repeatedly blow him off and complain about sports

"What I don't enjoy is a one hour game taking four hours" - Glenn dragging American football (accurate)

"I'll hear you talk about a 4 hour play you were riveted by" - yes Rob, call! Glenn! out!

"Pounding someone and getting pounded by somebody." That's what gets Glenn off. No I will not provide context.

"IASIP is the 2nd place of tv shows" / "Ooh I think we're 15th place"

D&Bs did an advertisement flop when this episode aired?! Love the history lesson.

Apparently FX gets all the product placement money!

There's gonna be an episode on the current economic shitshow and inflation this season — called it!

Charlie and Glenn really went all out riffing with all the little voices they like to do and they have the best comedic chemistry!

Rob's mind voice to John Wayne and studio head impressions to surfer bros, and all hilarious as fuck

"John Wayne seems like a bit of a pussy" lmao

John Wayne the surfer bro shredding gnar reminded me of their Keanu from Point Break bit — funniest shit in ages

Shooting trash out of the sky should be in a Sunny episode

Aliens are jelly people

Rob's cat is called Moose? Jack Bauer was the original.

Thank you for the cat videos on the side.

Moose beat off a hawk's attack!

They looked good today so I filled up on screenshots.

#yeah so what if I took a fuckton of screenshots. it's very cultural. #john wayne surfer/skier bro shredding wave 'nar was one of the funniest riffs from the podcast in a while #glenn and charlie firing on all cylinders today #comedy gold #glenn's ability to pull the wildest faces in underappreciated #always sunny podcast #tasp #iasip podcast #the great recession #65 the great recession #rcg #glenn howerton #charlie day #rob mcelhenney #megan ganz #iasip #sur #sur rambles

[strideofpride]

anything you’ve been watching/reading lately that you’d recommend? i think you have stellar taste in media (aka it often matches mine lol) so am curious! hope you feel better soon 💖

Ummmm yes, love this ask!!! (Also I’m so flattered 🥰 you have great taste as well btw)

Books:

Mo Ryan’s Burn It Down! If you’re at all interested in the entertainment industry and how it all gets made, this is basically required reading

the Succession script books (pricey but personally worth it)

I just finished Jill Gutowitz’s Girls Can Kiss Now and felt very seen, a wee bit too relatable

And I’m currently also reading Ann Patchett’s This is the Story of a Happy Marriage, which is a great book for my fellow writers to read

Substack:

I’m a paid subscriber to Hunter Harris’ Hung Up newsletter and I’ve never once regretted it lol

Gotta shout out Dracula Daily as well as the one podcast I listen to rn, re: Dracula (I listen and read at the same time which is perfect for me lol)

Gilmore Women - a Gilmore Girls recap newsletter that talks about everything wrong with each episode lol. I sped through the first six seasons and now I’m depressed that I’m caught up lol

TV:

Minx s2 - it is on Starz which I know most people don’t have but this season has been EXCELLENT

Only Murders in the Building s3 - it’s like a comfort show for me at this point, despite being about murder it makes me feel so cozy. Nora Ephron vibes

The Bear s2 - everyone’s been talking about it already but I just finished and god it was GOOD

The Sopranos - everyone should be doing # Sopranos Sunday with me!!! It’s so fun!! This show is soooo good, really living up to the hype for me

Acapulco - really cute show, makes me wish I was still on vacation in Mexico

Poker Face - bring back standalone episodes like this!!! Bring back character actors doing incredible guest star roles!!!

The Other Two - just. It was the funniest show on TV. It really was. 30 Rock’s spiritual successor which is pretty much the highest praise I can give it

Movies:

Red Eye - I rewatched it after Oppenheimer and it really holds up. Fun, tight thriller that is only like an hour 20 lol. Also Brian Cox aka Logan Roy is in it (and Jayma Mays my beloved)

Theater Camp - as a Jewish theater kid who went to and/or worked at a summer camp every year of her life from ages 4-20, there was no way I wasn’t gonna like this

Mamma Mia series - obviously everyone on tumblr knows about these already but I made my family watch them with me for the Fourth of July and god if I could live in the world of any movie it’d be this one ❤️

Man Up - very cute & fun British rom com I first discovered in college and rewatched this summer. Everyone has incredible comedic chemistry in this, and Lake Bell & Simon Pegg have great sexual chemistry as well (quite a lot of British faces who were nobodies when this was made who’ve gone on to bigger things - most notably Phoebe Waller-Bridge who’s only in a single scene)

X-Men: First Class - my favorite superhero movie ❤️

Indiana Jones series - I rewatched the whole series and saw the new one in theaters this summer. The first and third are literal masterpieces. Second one is mean spirited and racist. Fourth actually has quite a bit of charm, but then it fell apart in the back half. The new one…woof. Nobody but Steven Spielberg should be allowed to direct Indy movies.

Asteroid City - the longer it’s been since I saw it, the more and more I think it might be Wes’ masterpiece

Past Lives - incredible. But I know you already know that one lol

Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret - perfect, perfect film.

The Other Guys - we need Adam McKay and Will Ferrell to get back together, the fate of studio comedies hangs on this (anyway this movie is hilarious - but also if hell is real Marky Mark is obviously gonna burn for all eternity)

Comedy:

John Mulaney: Baby J - I saw him do this special live when he was touring it and I’m mad he cut the FBI bit but he’s still got it

#thank you! #areseebee #strideofprideanswers

[my-excellent-bicycle]

Taskmaster Dream Contestants

Whenever people bring up their dream contestants, a few names always rattle around in my head, but I've never actually sat down and wrote out a proper list until today.

I should mention that Ivo Graham would be on this list if I wrote it several months ago, and I'm incredibly hyped to see what disastrous things he gets himself into during S15.

David O'Doherty

I mean, if you've been following my blog at all, this should be a no-brainer. He's a perfect mix of silly, wholesome, and weird that would be perfect for the show, with a hint of athleticism as well. And he hangs out with lots of TM-related people like Alex Horne, Tim Key, Rose Matafeo, Dara O Briain, and others to the point whether I question why he hasn't been on already. Only time will tell whether he becomes one of the fandom's beloved "old men." (A term I use loosely since he's in his 40s.)

Rob Brydon

I'll admit I only know him from Would I Lie To You and his Brydon & podcast (I haven't seen his stuff with Steve Coogan), but Rob seems like the type of contestant who isn't afraid to get into humiliating situations, while also having that combative banter side that Greg would waste no time trying to put down. And I guarantee you he'll try to squeeze in an impression whenever he can.

Susan Calman

Whenever I see Susan in the lineup on a panel show, I already know I'm gonna enjoy it. Her enthusiasm is insanely infectious, and I just know she'll want to throw herself head first into any task she'll get. Her QI episodes are legendary, and the way she can steer the entire room towards the weirdest situations has made me cry laughing numerous times. And she also seems to have a sweeter side to her that will surely make her a fan favorite.

Harriet Kemsley

There's a specific clip I saw of Harriet Kemsley on Hypothetical that was just pure insanity, and made me go "yeah, she's gonna be great on Taskmaster." Unfortunately the clip isn't accessible on US YouTube anymore for some reason, so you're gonna have to take my word for it. Between that one wild Hypothetical appearance, and her appearances on Catsdown and Guessable, Harriet is sure to be among the "chaotic" contestants, bursting with nervous energy. Something tells me that she'll also torment Alex during the tasks. Think Bridget Christie on TM but x20 at least.

Adam Hills

Can you believe I nearly forgot to include Adam Hills on this list? He's always a joy to watch on The Last Leg, and just appears to be a great human all around. He's athletic and has a great competitive spirit, but also very down to earth. Oh, and he's also hilarious and witty, and I bet he'll bring some level of sass to the studio portions of the show, with maybe a joke or two about his leg thrown in there.

Henry Paker

A bit of a left-field choice, but anyone who listens to the Three Bean Salad podcast (which also features Mike Wozniak) would agree that Henry is an odd man. His tangents on the podcast are legendary, and happen so often that someone actually calculated the speaking time between all three podcast hosts, determining Henry spoke over 10x longer than the others. His Wikipedia page sorta reads like a press release, and says Ivo Graham once called Henry's 2010 show the "funniest stand up he's ever seen." I could see him reaching Ardal or Bob levels of absurdity on the show.

Miles Jupp

I don't really know much about Miles' comedy outside of his appearances on Catsdown, but every time I see him show up during the introductions, I already know it's gonna be a great watch. His chemistry with Sean Lock (who would have easily been included on this list if things were different) was always a treat to watch, and I could watch them shoot the shit for hours on that show and not get bored.

Jamie Laing

This might be a controversial choice, since I've seen lots of people call him irritating. I know Jamie has his roots in reality TV (which I haven't watched), but the instances in which he's rubbed shoulders with comedians have really warmed me to the idea of seeing him on Taskmaster. Watching him be "confident" on House of Games despite being absolute shit at the quizzes is the perfect attitude I'd want in a Taskmaster contestant, and the comedian interviews he's done on his Private Parts podcast were excellent, and shows he already has great rapport with more established comics.

Richard Ayoade and David Mitchell

Both of these are cliche answers to the question "who do you want to see on Taskmaster," but they're brought up often for a reason: it would make for amazing television. A prevailing notion that's repeated when the prospect of Richard on TM is mentioned is that he "has a persona that he wouldn't want to break." This might also be true for David, but the joy of Taskmaster is how the show pushes back against personas and presents comedians for who they are, rather than how they would necessarily prefer to be seen. The idea of David having a breakdown over a silly, inconsequential task given to him would be the stuff of dreams, and I could already see Richard starting a task saying "I wouldn't want to do that," before immersing himself in the weirdness presented to him. Will they ever go on TM? Probably not. Do I still want it to happen? For sure. Listen, if VCM could agree, so could her husband.

And as a bonus, here's a list of comedians I don't know as much about aside from brief appearances on shows or podcasts, but have impressed me enough to want them on TM:

Jayde Adams

Cariad Lloyd

Darren Harriot

Ahir Shah

Sam Simons

Huge Davies

Nick Helm

#taskmaster

[mangoposts]

i already know my brain is gonna be all over the place watching the podcast chris making jeans matts project in 8-10 months talking about fucking root beer and desserts and it apparently being one of the funniest episodes while nick being HAPPY ITS ENDING😭😭 im gonna short circuit halfway through

DID U LIKE ITTTTTT

#🥭

[dovesndecay]

Your DnDaddies posting is all over my dash right as I am binging the show for the first time feels like the starts have perfectly aligned.

This is the funniest podcast I have Ever listened to.

omg that show has no right to be as good as it is. i was behind for most of season 2, but i just got caught up this week and I'm so hyped to see where they take it from the most recent episode.

but also every time i think i know where it's going, they do an episode set in the Family Guy universe so i'm not even gonna try and predict Anthony "The DM Will Remember That" Burch

#askbox #dndads

[thefandom-casserole]

Episode 45 Notes-

- THE SPAGHETTI SOUNDS 😭

- I cannot believe they did the PODCASTER as their intro that’s amazing

- I’ve seen a ton of stuff about the Taylor angst and godddd how did we skip from NORMAL to Taylor. I cannot wait

- I’ve missed opening music!!!!!! ❤️

- Chaos orbs- wtf lol

- 🪄Linc has one of the Chaos Orbs that STOP Willy (this was a bit)

- Mastermind Rogue wow Taylor

- “Taylor has the most insufferable ability I’ve ever seen” “I know that”

- RadFact: Taylor misses disguising himself as a trashcan and getting shoved on his stage

- RadFact: Linc’s bathroom regiment is taking off all of his clothes and putting on completely new clothes (they get dirty??) (germaphobe Linc) (Linc only pees at home)

- Linc doesn’t do his own laundry

- NormalFact: Normal is the founder of the SchoolYear Book club, book club that discusses the Year Book

- I just got sent messages going insane about his experience halfway through the podcast and I’m so fucking scared oh. my. god.

- RadFact: Scary’s been in science classes and has developed a favorite planet, which is Mercury, because Mercury has the longest day and night

- Venus has the longest day-

- That’s amazing

- Beth Brittaed the fact I love that

- More orbs!!! There’s Normal-orb!!

- HermieFact: (my jaw dropped I thought he forgot-) Hermie didn’t technically have a childhood because Scam thought a Teen (Freshman) was the funniest time for a kid to become living (he has fake childhood memories)

- He didn’t miss them awww

- TERRY JR VS GLENN

- IM SO EXCITED AHHHHH

- TERRY JR. TRUED TO KILL MICK OH. MY. GOD.

- Terry Jr. WANTS TO BE BANISHED FORVER OH NO THATS SO SAD

- The awkward fighting sounds 😭

- The Kiddads are all so sad

- NO TERRY STARTS CRYING

- “I deserve this. I tried to kill your son. I’m a bad person” “you’re not a bad person! Come here my sweet baby boy!”

- RON AND TERRY OH MY GOD

- Normal was asleep… sure…

- WAY too defensive to have just been asleep

- Normal is NOT crying 🚫❌🙅🏼 no way

- What do you do when your arm itches. You cut it off

- Terry Jr. he can. He cut it off.

- Terry’s memory!!!!

- “I love you so much!!”

- Ron’s getting a haircut???? How…? (Jk jk)

- “You become the person you choose to be around!”

- Oooh they don’t even use hell… they ruin the friendship for nothing

- “I’m a prosniper…”

- “You lied to me kiddo…”

- No…

- “I don’t think you’ve been someone you’d choose to be around lately” AHHHH

- Dude. Scary and her bio dad.

- Terry coming to Scary’s soccer games meant a lot… I’m going to sob… a good day for Scary kinnies

- Oooh bonus points for Scary’s memory slay

- Glenn’s hesitance at the “…he asked me… to kill him…”

- Welllll Nick’s not technically your son buddy boy 💔

- “Do you wanna hit him?” “Kinda” that was unnecessarily funny

- The new Glenn voice I’m crying 😭

- THE CLOSE/FOSTER/SWIFT MEMORY!!!

- “YOU MUST HAVE TONS OF MEMORIES WITH THIS CHAP”Except he didn’t live any of them

- Oh my god. Is that what happens. I’m going to explode omg

- PLEASE say they play off of the Jodie Glenn timeline shit

- I’m going to explode rn

- This is such a good episode oh my goodness

- No… absentee… father Glenn…

- Taylor was born crying like a baby

- Baby Taylor noises oh my god I love you Freddie

- Glenn is such a piece of shit holy cow

- Where did all of his character development go 😭

- “Jodie’s been here like. 3 times” I get that this is about Taylor and Nick but. Man that sucks for Hermie

- “Dang I’m not really sure I like that guy…”

- NO THE PARALLELS OF THE ABSENTEE PARENTS

- “We’re cool now” “absolutely- well-“

- TAYLOR ANGST TAYLOR ANGST IM SO EXCITED

- Taylor wants Nick to go back and time and be there for him

- Oh my god

- Oh. My. God.

- Time traveling must be a metaphor for something but I cannot physically think

- All the. All the training stuff not being about training.

- YESSSSS THIS IS HOW TO ADD ANGST WITHOUT BEING OOC

- AHHHHHHHH

- “Dad… I didn’t even know where you were…”

- No… Nick you’re ruining this… oh no… you’re gonna give Taylor such a bad idea

- TAYLOR’S MEMORY OH MY GODDDDDDD

- Mama’s boy Taylor!!!

- The boy who Taylor surpassed has a dad…

- This is so sad. I feel so bad for Taylor this is so sad oh my god oh my god

- Awwww Glenn’s got some depth!!!!!!!!

- He admits being a shitty dad!!!!

- He wants to restart everything…

- Disney

- “There is no fixing this”

- The US military… omg

- Like in the Guy Who Doesn’t Like Musicals

- OMG OMG GOING INSANE

- AGENT SHMEGAN WTF

- Nooooo Linc got them into this…

- JODIE MORGAN ARE ALL IN HANDCUFFS

- Jodie’s letting them know to get Taylor and Nick out

- Why should Normal be the king of Hell…

- NORMAL AND TAYLOR ARE GOING TO FIGHT

- SECOND EPISODE

- OMG

- OMG

- OMG

- O. M. G.

- ONLY oNE OF THEM LEAVES ALIVE

- THIS FUCKING EPSIODE

- How did it go from the spaghetti to this

#dndads s2 #dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndads spoilers

[agardenandlibrary]

I posted 10,450 times in 2022

That's 3,620 more posts than 2021!

880 posts created (8%)

9,570 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@agardenandlibrary

@longsightmyth

@do-you-have-a-flag

@inneskeeper

@spaceshipkat

I tagged 2,997 of my posts in 2022

#cara rags on fba - 382 posts

#myth rags on fba - 134 posts

#cara reads wot - 113 posts

#my book picture - 102 posts

#wheel of time - 64 posts

#cara reads the dragon reborn - 58 posts

#discworld - 56 posts

#cara podcasts - 51 posts

#star trek - 51 posts

#cara reads 2022 - 50 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i straight up thought my aunt was gonna announce her divorce!! she starts off talking about getting married the day mt st helen's exploded!!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

episode 3 of pride and prejudice 1995 may be the funniest

“shelves in the closet? happy thought indeed”

“i thought at least the pigs had gotten into the garden”

“what - *camera zooms in on lady catherine* - all your sisters out at once?”

“colonel fitzwilliam why is your cousin staring at me” - darcy comes over and makes awkward small talk. colonel fitzwilliam smirks at lizzie like “he’s got it bad, girlfriend”

“if i had ever learnt [to play piano] i would have been a true proficient”

colonel fitzwilliam sitting back to watch the carnage as lizzie goes for darcy’s throat. darcy’s little smirk as he says “I am not afraid of you”

darcy rolls his eyes when lady catherine interrupts his flirt-fest with lizzie

I had to pause it for a while but in the last 15 minutes of this episode:

Darcy’s first attempt to propose where he mostly tries to communicate his feelings via intense staring

lizzie  brings up that jane is in london and for one second you can see darcy go “wait... does she know that i’ve ruined jane’s chances with bingley? no, no it’s cool, i’ve covered my tracks”

darcy and lizzie having two moments of agreeing on a point: when they roast mr. collins and when they say how great charlotte is

“you would not wish to always be near longbourn” lasjldfalsdf you’re NOT SMOOTH

then he just BAILS like “OH NO I’VE SAID TOO MUCH”

when col. fitzwilliam meets up with lizzie in the park I think he’s trying to talk up darcy, like “oh yeah, my cousin’s hot for this girl, i’ll be a good wingman” then he’s like “actually what if we roasted darcy a little, we had fun with that yesterday”

next day darcy comes back and lizzie’s like “fuck it, he can carry the conversation this time, i’m annoyed as hell with him and he hates me anyway”

AND THEN HE GOES FOR THE WORST PROPOSAL IN THE WHOLE SERIES AND I’M INCLUDING MR. COLLINS’ ATTEMPT, OKAY?

the LOOK she gives him. and she’s POLITE. DEVASTATINGLY POLITE in her refusal. and he’s gotta ask, he’s gotta know why and lizzie’s like “SINCE YOU FUCKING ASKED, ACTUALLY, HERE’S MY LIST OF GRIEVANCES, listed chronologically from most recent --”

*blank stare* “and this is your opinion of me”

when he leaves the doorknob squeaks and I feel like he fumbled that in his panic

lizzie left standing in the cottage going "what the fuck just happened"

625 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

#4

I'm casually looking up information about the Wild Hunt and I just found this:

there's a Motif-Index of Folk Literature?!

There are multiple motif-indices?

See the full post

730 notes - Posted March 2, 2022

#3

okay the reason the “darcy wet t-shirt contest” scene works in p&p1995 as a fan service scene is because we’ve spent 3.5hrs watching these people be incredibly buttoned up and correct and suddenly Lizzie is in his HOUSE ogling his PORTRAIT and his WELL MAINTAINED LAWNS and then there’s the man himself and he’s in a wet shirt and you can see that he has skin? under his clothes? is that chest hair?!

lizzie literally stares at his tits for a solid two seconds before she’s like “oh god his eyes are up there”

1,724 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

#2

I'm going to make a collection of quotes about Anne Elliot that make me clutch my heart in sorrow

Half the sum of attraction, on either side, might have been enough, for he had nothing to do, and she had hardly anybody to love;

She had been forced into prudence in her youth, she learned romance as she grew older -- the natural sequel of an unnatural beginning.

"I cannot possible do without Anne," was Mary's reasoning; and Elizabeth's reply was, "Then I am sure Anne had better stay. for nobody will want her in Bath." To be claimed as a good, though in an improper style, is at least better than being rejected as no good at all.

She knew that when she played [piano] she was giving pleasure only to herself; but this was no new sensation: excepting one short period of her life, she had never, since the age of fourteen, never since the loss of her dear mother, known the happiness of being listened to, or encouraged by any just appreciation or real taste. In music she had been always used to feel alone in the world.

1,893 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I love Cecil. He's like "incomprehensible horrors happen every day! Not to me though :)" and then they do happen to him and he's like "WHAT THE F–" every. time.

2,309 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#cara reads 2022 #lmao about that longest tag #also a good year for jane austen posts I guess! #april was a good month for me lol

[emodennis]

hi phoenix !!!!!!! for the end of the year asks: episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you?

hi saturday!! thanks for asking!!

thats a tough one. i think it's going to have to be the gang buys a boat. it's no longer in my top 3 because other episodes have pushed it out recently but i spent sooo much of the year thinking its the funniest episode of tv. i still adore it and i have really warm feelings about it and watched it so many times this year i know every single beat of every scene.

i'm also gonna throw in everybody browns out from the podcast as a bonus because it makes me unbelievably happy like seeing glenn drunk gives me so so much life. it's just something ive used to make myself feel better a lot this year and it works every time :)

#phoenix talks #asks #ask games

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 44 Transcript: BABPod is In Our Divorce Era With Supernatural

G: Hello. My name is Grey.

C: And my name is Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, the Supernatural commentary podcast, where I, someone who has seen this show several times–

C: –and I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also we are both Asian. 

G: Today, we will be discussing Season 2, Episode 22: “All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2,” written by Eric Kripke, directed by Kim Manners. 

C: I hope Eric Kripke dies forever and ever. Amen.

G: Amen.

C: Wait, is that against Spotify’s Terms and Conditions?

G: Who cares?

C: Who cares. Eric Kripke’s against Spotify’s Terms and Conditions.

G: Exactly. Okay. So…I mean, you know what, let's leave all our thoughts and opinions at the end so that people have something to look forward to. [laughs]

C: Sure, yeah.

G: And let's start with, what did you know about this episode, Crystal, before watching it?

C: Ah, so I knew that this was the episode where Dean's gonna make the demon deal to bring Sam back to life, and he'll only get like, a year to live, and he's gonna lie to Sam about making the deal. Uh, I know that there was some kind of plot that involved opening the gates of hell and releasing a bunch of demons, but I didn't really know how that would go down. I knew that Azazel was gonna get shot with the Colt and die. I thought it was gonna be Sam who did it for some reason, but it wasn't. And then I knew that Jake was going to be killed in a very dehumanizing manner. But I don't think that really prepared me for how bad it was going to be.

G: Yeah, uh [laughs], fuck this episode, man. [laughs]

C: Fuck this episode!

G:  It's- it's truly astounding how bad it is. And yes, it's bad, for obvious reasons, like the racism, but it's also bad for the less obvious reasons. Well, I mean they're pretty obvious to like, the John parts, like [C screams] it’s so incredibly funny. 

C: I, like, started screaming. The funniest thing that ever happened on all of television.

G: Literally. [laughs] We'll get into it when we get into it. But there was a scene that after John showed up that literally had me screaming and crying [C laughs], like, it was so incredibly funny, and I will dunk on it when we get to it, so you guys just wait. 

-

G: Ah, yeah. So we start with our "Road So Far," “Carry on my Wayward Son.” The very first thing that they say is about the Colt, which, I was like, “Wait! Am I watching the wrong one? Am I on season one?” But, apparently not, they just start with the Colt because the Colt is going to prominent- is gonna feature prominently in this episode. So yeah, I mean, do you have anything to say about the season 2 "Road So Far" for this episode?

C: Um, not really. I think it was funny that the opening, like, scenes, are just like, a bunch of Sam and Dean spinning around and pointing guns at people, like, it's just like, “By the way, this is a show where the men point guns at people.” 

G: Exactly. Like the only season finale that we’ve watched so far is the season one so it's impossible to not compare the two. [laughs] They are so far from each other, and you can feel it instantly, like the moment you watch the "Road So Far."

C: Yeah.

G: They are so differing in quality, like the drop off of the quality of the finale from season 1 and 2 is so intense and like, you watch the "Road So Far," and you're like, “Oh, yeah, that's true” immediately, because I remember, like, watching the "Road So Far" from season one and we had our list of like, things that we thought were good about it. Yeah. Good moments in the "Road So Far," and this one is like, “Eh, it’s a 'Road So Far.'” Whatever.

C: Yeah. Things happened. Plot was summarized. Guns were pointed.

G: Exactly. So. Yeah. Ah, that's over now. We start with Dean hanging out in a room. Where this is is quite unclear. Right? 

C: Yeah, I assumed it was like, South Oak? Or, sorry, what is it called, the place they were at, the Dakota, South Dakota place. Cold Oak. Cold Oak?

G: Cold Oak. Yeah, South Dakota. I assumed it was one of the houses there. 

C: Yeah, same.

G: But like, how far is it from- can you look it up?

G: Yeah, sure. 

G: How far in South Dakota from like, Bobby's house.

C: Where is Bobby? Wait. Cold Oak isn't a real place. [laughs]

G: Nooo [laughs], how devastating! 

C: Bobby lives in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, so it’s in the same state. 

G: Oh, okay, okay. 

C: And since we don't know where Cold Oak is due to it not existing, it could be anywhere.

G: We can assume it’s anywhere. Yeah.

C: Yeah. 

G: Anyway, Dean and Sam are inside a room except Sam is lying dead on a futon. Is that what’s called?

C: I don't know what he was lying on.

G: A mattress.

C: Sure, yeah.

G: Yeah. And uh, Bobby comes in, and he's telling Dean, “You should eat,” and Dean looks completely fucking distressed. He's very sad. He looks like, numb. 

C: Yeah, he looks like me when I have computer science homework.

G: [laughs] Exactly. This is equivalent to having computer science homework. 

C: [laughs] I agree.

G: Yeah, Bobby is telling him he should go eat, Dean is like, “I'm fine. I don't need to eat,” and then at some point he goes and like, drinks some whiskey, and Bobby looks at him concerned and goes, “I don't want to be the one to bring this up. But do you think maybe we should bury Sam?” [both laugh]

C: How bad do you think this old house smells at this point?

G: We have talked about this in the podcast in the past, but, like. I have no idea how decomposition, like, happens, like, timeline-wise. 

C: Yeah, but also there’s like, no AC in this house and Sam's not like, on ice. 

G: Yeah, like, first of all, he's rotting. So there's like, blood for sure, right? 

C: Yeah.

G: I mean, he's rotting, period. There's blood, period. And like, when you- I'm pretty sure when you die, you lose control of your faculties, so like- 

C: Oh, so yeah, so like, he has shit himself.

G: Like he has shit his pants, yeah, exactly. 

G: And so it must fucking stink in there.

C: Yeah, you lift him up from the futon, and it's brown stains everywhere, baby.

G: Yeah. 

-

G: Dean says no. Bobby is like, “Okay, um, maybe we could-” and then Dean is like, “What, burn his body, torch his corpse? Also no.” And, it’s just- a hunter's funeral is a pyre. Right? 

C: Yeah.

G: But like, what's the deal? He doesn't want to do that because it's like-

C: Well, because if you burn him, he can’t come back as a ghost.

G: He will never come back. Yeah.

C: And he doesn't have the body to return to in any other way.

G: Can't you resurrect someone who's already ashes?

C: Um, well, yes, in later seasons, but, you know, they have more limited rules they’re working with right now. 

G: Exactly. 

C: Like, they didn't have Rowena's spell to resurrect Eileen at this point. 

G: Anyway, Bobby tells Dean to like, come with him, but Dean says no again, and he- Bobby just says like, “I just don't want you to be alone, and I could use your help, because, whatever this is, whatever is happening, it's gonna be big, and we need to stop it,” and Dean’s like, “Don't you think I've already given enough? [C laughs] Don't you think I've paid enough?” Shit like that. Like, he's done with it.

C: Yeah, I know we're supposed to care and stuff, but-

G: I was laughing. I was like, "This is so incredibly funny."

C: It's a little overact-y. 

G: Yeah.

C: And also, maybe I just don't care enough. But yeah.

G: Yeah, um, he pushes Bobby, and he was like um, he was like, yelling, like, “Go, go!” [both laugh] And then he’s pushing Bobby, and Bobby's just standing there, and then Dean goes like, “Sorry, I’m sorry,” blah blah blah, and Bobby turns around and leaves, and we cut to our splash screen.

C: Yeah, also, Bobby said, like, “Whatever's going down is end-of-the-world big,” and Dean, like, yells, “Well then let it end!”

G: [groans] I forgot about that. You're right. 

C: And Bobby says “You don't mean that,” in the exact same cadence as “You don't mean that, Sammy,” in that one-in that one-[G laughs] in that one Tiktok that recreates the plot of season six. 

G: "You don't mean that, Sammy." [both laugh]

C: It's such a good Tiktok. It's not even that good. But it's so good.

G: You know what, I've told you this-

C: Yes.

G: But, as a promise to the podcast listeners as well, the moment me and Crystal meet in real life, we one hundred percent would recreate like, a plotline from Supernatural, and I would play Dean because I'm shorter and Crystal would play Sam, and we'll hire someone to play Cas. Misha Collins will come and play Cas for us. 

C: [C laughs] Misha Collins will come and play himself. Yes. 

-

C: Also when Bobby leaves, Dean looks at Sam's corpse, and a Single Man Tear falls down his face. It's all- it's all very dramatic. 

G: You know what? 

C: I guess he probably didn't want to cry in front of Bobby. What?

G: All I’m thinking of during this scene was like, “Oh, I wonder which one of us, like, Crystal or me, will get the scene where he's monologuing in front of Sam’s dead body.” 'Cause I was like, I wish it’s not me [C laughs], I don’t want to fucking talk about that. [laughs]

C: Well, I'm taking the Jake scene next. So have fun.

G: I was like- when that scene showed up, and I was like, doing the computation in my head of like, wait, which scene, whose scene is this? It's like, nooooo, it's gonna be mine. 

C: Sorry. 

G: ‘Cause like, this scene already is already like, so overacted. And I don't remember much from the monologue, so I could just assume it's gonna be this vibe as well, and I was like, “No no no no no, it's gonna be- that's going to be-” [groans] and it was. It was.

C: And, okay, I feel like- maybe like, we would be screaming and crying over this in a different way if we were still in season 1 or something. But at this point I feel like Dean's main personality traits and conflicts have been reiterated so many times before-

G: So much, yeah.

C: Yeah, that like, we don't need it anymore, like we just had 2.20 where he gave the “haven’t I given enough” speech to John's grave. Like, we get the like-

G: The themes, yeah.

C: “I’m your big brother and I’m supposed to take care of you” stuff at the end of AHBL part one and also like, all throughout everywhere, always.

G: Yeah. 

C: Like we're good. Like, I get it.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. 

-

C: So we cut to the woods where Jake is. He's like, camping out next to a tent, and he has a fire, and he just looks like the best little boy ever. So he starts drifting off, and he has a dream where Azazel appears to him and congratulates him on winning. He says- Azazel says that, like, Jake isn't the one that he thought was gonna win, he wasn’t really the one he was rooting for, but, hey, we're here now. Azazel-

G: What an asshole! [laughs]

C: -is an asshole. Yeah. And Jake just says like, “Go to hell. I am going to track you down and kill you.” He says specifically, “Everything you put me through, dragging me to that place, making me kill those people,” and he's like, clearly really upset about all of it! Because he’s a good boy!

G: Yeah.

C: And- see, I just don't understand what they're trying to do with Jake this episode, because like-

G: Exactly!

C: It’s cutting back and forth between him being like, the most reasonable, sympathetic guy in the world, to Sam being like, “I'm going to slaughter that son of a bitch.” And then at the end, when Jake comes face to face with them, he's like, suddenly weird evil? Like, okay? I don’t get it. 

G: He becomes- And it's like, throughout this episode I was thinking, “Did Eric Kripke read the script that Sera Gamble wrote for last episode?” [laughs] Like, did they just not agree with what Jake was going to become? 'Cause like-

C: Yeah, I know Kripke agrees with what Jake is going to become, because the Jake at the end is so jarringly different from all those scenes with Jake alone or with Azazel.

G: Yeah, as in, to the point that at the last part where Jake shows up-

C: I thought he was possessed.

G: Exactly! I thought he was possessed, and I was thinking, “How is he possessed? Then he couldn’t enter, right?” And like, that was the plot- that was like, the way my brain was trying to rationalize what I was seeing, because he was a completely different guy, and the way they were like, “Oh, like, because I can control my powers now I'm evil now”, like- 

C: [C laughs] Right, like in the last, what? Like, one hour between the last time we saw him and now?

G: Exactly. 

C: My God. Yeah. So he's upset. He didn't want to do it. He was forced in there, based off of circumstance, and I don't think anyone put in a death game should be blamed that much for anything they did there. So yeah, Azazel says that “I have plans for you,” Jake does the whole “I'm gonna hunt you down and kill you” thing, and Azazel says, “It's not going to happen, you want to be a good little soldier, because if you're not, that dear old mom of yours and that adorable little sister, I'll make certain that they both live long enough to know the chewy taste of their own intestines.” Yikes. Like he couldn't do the ceiling stab and the on fire thing? [G laughs] Like, he needs special edition here? Alright, racist. So yeah, so Jake eventually is like, “Okay, yeah, what do you want me to do? I'll do it.” Ugh, god! And Azazel pats Jake's cheek and says, like, “Like I said, you’re a genius.” It’s icky, I'm sorry, Jake.

-

G: And now [laughs]- and now to my dreaded scene. So we have Dean [laughing] mourning Sam- I feel so bad being like, “Oh, this scene sucks, this scene sucks, I don’t wanna talk about it,” but like, if you watch it, it's like, it's really eyeroll-y, the acting for this portion, right? 

C: I mean, depends on who the “you” is. I'm sure the Deangirls love it, still.

G: Yeah, I suppose so. And like, you know me, I'm the Deangirl of the podcast. So, I don't know. I was trying. Let's just say that, I was trying to get into it, but I couldn't look at Jensen Ackles’s face [laughs] which is unfortunately the focus of this entire scene. But Dean is talking, and he's saying that like, “When you were little, you were five years old, and you kept asking questions like, ‘Why didn't we have a mom? Why is Dad away all the time?’ And I just kept saying, like, ‘Quit it, Sammy. Stop asking, you don't want to know.’” Because he just wanted to protect Sam, and he wanted to keep Sam safe and stuff, and he wanted him to be a kid, and at some point he says, like, “Dad didn't even have to tell me that you were my responsibility. I just knew it.” Okay, it's making me sad now [both laugh] like, now that I am talking about it. Ugh. Ugh. I mean, like, just the concept of John being like, “He's your responsibility,” like, he shouldn't do that. But the concept that Dean internalized it so much that, like, he didn't even have to think, like, “Oh, it is my responsibility because someone told me to do it.” He just thinks, “It's my responsibility because it is. It's just what it is, it’s just the status quo."

C: That's what being told as a four-year-old to take your six-month-old brother out of a burning building while your dad stays behind to yell at the ceiling does to you, I think.

G: Yeah. [laughs] He did not live a normal life. But essentially, Dean thinks this entire thing is his fault, because he wasn't able to protect Sam. And he just keeps thinking, “I let you down. And how am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do?” And this is the part where I was like, [groans] when he was like-[both] “What am I supposed to doooo?” [both laugh] It was funny, and that was the part where I was like, “Okay. Calm it down, Mr. Jackles.” But another complaint I had about this scene that I thought of at the time was like, "My god! Even Sam's death is about Dean." [laughs] 

C: Yeah. 

G: I felt that way. Now, now that we're talking about it, it's like, I mean, yeah, because you know, I have this thing where- you know when people are like, "Why bother like going to funerals? Like, it's not like the dead person knows that people are coming to their funeral. They're dead," whatever, but, like, you know, it's not about the dead person, it's about the people who are grieving. Who are left behind, so I try to placate myself by thinking that "It's not about the dead. It's about the people who are grieving who are left behind." But I think it applies a little bit less in a TV show, in this format.

C: Yeah, especially in the TV show where we get to see the afterlife a bunch later on, like, you can just cut to Sam hanging out in the Veil, or- Okay, when Dean died in the first episode of this season, it was all about him, so I think if Sam’s dead, he should get to be a ghost hanging around as Dean yells.

G: Yeah. And I mean, they fixed that one by being like, "Dean doesn't even remember." I mean, it's the same thing right? Like- 

C: Yeah, Sam could forget.

G: Yeah. So that's my complaint about this scene. But I think it would have been moving if it wasn't- if this season wasn't so bad [C laughs], because I do genuinely think season 2 is bad. And it's bad, because it's not- it doesn't have equal footing or an equal mix of who gets to be the prominent character. It's like they forget that they have two main characters. And it shows in this episode as well, like, it's Dean who gets to do everything, it's Dean who gets to mourn, sell his soul, keep Sam in the dark, kill Azazel, it’s- you know, it's Dean everything, and the only thing we get of Sam is literally racism. Literally, the only- they try to justify it by being like, “Is the Sam that’s back…the real Sam?” But like-

C: They never actually do anything with that later. Right? 

G: Yeah, they were like, “What if this is not the real Sam because he's so fucking brutal?” And they were like, “Nah, it’s the real Sam.”

C: Nah, he’s just racist. [G laughs]

G: He’s just like this for real. Ugh.

C: Like, okay, cool. Yeah. Where is Sam right now? How many days has it been? Like- would he have made it past the Veil into Heaven or Hell by now?

G: I mean, do you think Sam would be the type of person to accept death? Would he be like Dean who's like, “You should never succumb to death, and you should stay around and be strong, because strength will keep you alive,” or whatever the fuck? Or do you think- I mean, given that Sam has already died. 'Cause Dean was in a coma, right, because he wasn't trying to- he was trying to evade the Veil or whatever. But because Sam is dead, does that mean…

C: That he said yes to the reaper already? Maybe.

G: Yeah. I mean, I just find it unrealistic, because like, because like, what if you get crushed by like, an anvil. Of course you're gonna die instantly, there's no time for the Veil shit. [laughs] You just- you're just dead. I feel like that's what happened with Sam. 

C: Okay, yeah. He just died instantly. So did he insta-go to Heaven or Hell then?

G: Do you think you went to hell?

C: I don't know. Because, you know, Supernatural, like, uses biology as pretty much the primary determinant for where you go [G laughs], and he does have demon blood. So that’s a bit confusing. But also in “Dark Side of the Moon” or whatever, doesn't Ash say, like, “Oh, you've been here a bunch, you just don’t remember each time,” so maybe this is one of Sam’s times.

G: "You guys have gone to heaven a ton of times." So maybe he is in heaven. Yeah. 

C: Yeah, by “you guys have been in heaven a bunch” he just means “Mystery Spot,” like, Dean was popping in and out every two seconds. [both laugh]

-

C: Yeah. Well, Sam's lying there. So after Dean does his whole yell-y shit, we cut to the Impala, and he is driving. There's like this instrumental piece that's like, guitar with violin over it, or something?

G: It's like percussive, almost. It's like- duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.

C: Yeah, it's pretty fun. And he is putting together a crossroads demon summoning box. And he buries it, and he waits a while, and then he starts yelling, “Show your face, you bitch!” [laughs]

G: I mean, I really like the camera work in this scene, as I do. It's like, the camera is swiveling around, and you think the demon is gonna show up, but it doesn’t, and then it swivels around again, and you think that the demon is gonna show up, but she doesn’t, and it's pretty fun. And then when she finally shows up, it's because [laughs] it’s because Dean is screaming “bitch” as he does. 

C: Yeah, right. I don't- is this a misogyny point? [G laughs] Who cares.

G: Who cares? There are more crimes in this episode. 

C: Yeah, there are way worse crimes in this episode. So yeah, a demon shows up, and she is not the same crossroads demon as the last one who was here, or maybe she's the same one in a different vessel, because she freed- or, Dean exorcized her last time. So, per the us’, she's wearing her sexy, sexy black dress, cleavage out, you know, as Supernatural women do, and she has like a weird sexual energy around Dean where she keeps like, walking close to him and talking in his ear and shit. And like, sure, fine, I get it a little bit, because if a deal is sealed with a kiss, every like, almost kiss or intimidation into a kiss is sort of like, equivalent to her like, pressuring him into a deal. But it's still odd.

G: Yeah.

C: Uh, yeah. She tells him that it's good to see him, and she's like, “I'm getting like, so turned on by how terribly you fucked up your entire family Dean, please, take me now.” [both laugh] So yeah, and Dean's like, “I’m here to make a deal. Bring Sam back from the dead, and you can get my soul because a bunch of demons want it. And then just give me 10 years.” And the demon's like, “That's fucking stupid. I'm not giving you that amount of time,” and Dean, like, keeps bargaining. He goes down to 5 eventually, and he says like, “That's my last offer,” and she's like, “Nah, no deal,” and starts walking away. But eventually, Dean's like, “Okay, wait, wait, wait, just like, fine. You decide.” And she says, like, “I shouldn't be doing this, but you know, fine, let's just do it. Let's do a deal. I'll bring him back, and I'll give you only one year, but if you try to get your way out of the deal, then I will kill Sam on the spot,” and Dean kisses her. So it's a deal.

G: What's fascinating to me is, when John gave his life for Dean, it actually felt like the one selfless thing he did for his children.

C: Yeah.

G: But this one reeks of selfishness. Like, the whole point of this, because- especially because of the speech that he gives prior, where it's like, “What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel that I failed you?” Like, it reeks of like, “Oh, I’m keeping you alive for myself, and none of it is actually for you or for your enjoyment. Like, I'm gonna die in a year. And you're gonna have absolutely no one except aside from Bobby, maybe, who will also probably die in a couple of years, let's be honest [both laugh], and then you have no life left to go back to, your girlfriend's dead, you have a criminal record-

C: Yeah, you escaped from prison recently. 

G: "You will have no life to come back to, and you won't have a brother anymore. Who is at this point like, the only person in your life." And it's like, Dean was like, “No, it's fine. It's fine if he's miserable, as long as I don't get to feel guilty.”

C: As long as we get a year together.

G: Yeah, and it's like. Well, you're kind of a dick, Dean.

C: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's not like Sam couldn't have a life he was happy with after this, but it'd be hard, and I don't think Dean's really taking that into account. Also, what are the rules of demon kisses? Does it have to be with tongue? Because this one's long.

G: I mean, the the kiss between Bobby and Crowley allegedly had tongue.

C: So tongue is a requirement. I see.

G: Yeah, I see.

-

G: So back in the motel- is this a motel?

C: No, it's not.

G: Back in the room, Sam's eyes open, and he's alive. And he like, goes towards the mirror and looks at his body, and he looks at his back, and it's apparently like, still very painful. But he's checking it out, and there's no wound, right?

C: Is there not?

G: Or is there a wound? It's just fixed.

C: It's a pretty bad scar, but it looks pretty healed over.

G: Yeah.

C: He's so "Laz Rising"-core for doing this.

G: Yeah. I'm sad that, like, when Dean was resurrected, it was such a whole ordeal. And I mean, I love it. I love that episode so much for many reasons, but when Sam gets resurrected, it's like, "Eh." [laughs] It's barely even like, half the episode.

C: Yeah. Because it's like the last episode of the season instead of Dean's resurrection being the first episode of the season.

G: Yeah, exactly. Which is why- I mean, I said this before last time, but I kind of wish they made last episode the last episode of the season and made this the beginner of the next season, right?

C: Yeah.

G: I think it would be fun to have Sam be dead for a while in terms of audience time, you know, right? 'Cause this was airing-

C: I guess there was less buy-in at this point because it was only season 2, so they were worried no one was gonna come back? [G laughs]

G: Because their beloved Sammy has died.

C: Yes.

G: So true. Maybe I'm not thinking TV enough. I'm not not there yet.

Okay, so Dean comes in, and he's like, "Oh my god, you're alive!" And he hugs Sam, and Sam is like, "Ouch! Yeowch! [C laughs] Ouchie!" Because it's very painful. But he asks Dean what happened to him, and Dean asks what he remembers, and he says he just saw him and Bobby - as in Dean and Bobby - they were running towards him. He felt a hot, searing pain- well, did he say that? He said he felt a sharp pain, like cold? Or did he say it was hot?

C: White-hot.

G: It was white-hot. Okay. So he says that he felt this pain, like white-hot. And then Dean just started running, and that's it. And Dean is like, "Yeah, the kid stabbed you and you lost a lot of blood. It was pretty difficult, it was touch and go for a bit." And Sam was like, "Could you even patch up a wound that bad?: And Dean was like, "Eh, Bobby can." So.

C: Yep. Respect your elders, Sam. Get over it. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. And Sam asked like, "The kid's name is Jake. Did he escape?"

C: Well, he said, "Did you get him?" Fuck off, Sam.

G: "Did you get him?" And Dean says, "No, he disappeared into the woods." And then Sam was like, "We gotta find him, Dean! I'm gonna fucking tear that son of a bitch apart!" And it shocked me.

C: Yeah.

G: I literally was shocked when this scene happened. 'Cause like, I know Jake killed him.

C: Yeah, but like, whatever? [G laughs]

G: He literally treated those like, fucking vampires better than this guy.

C: Yeah.

G: And this guy is already human to him. Like, he's human in that he's human, and also he has been humanized in that they know each other

C: They were hanging out. They were friends for a bit.

G: And like, he knows Jake's motivations. And if it was like, "We need to stop him because he's bound to do something bad for the demons," that's gonna be more reasonable than like, "I want revenge because he fucking stabbed me, oh no! [whiny voice] And I almost died! Oh god!"

C: "My back hurts!" Like, get over it.

G: "I have back pain!" Fuck off, Sam. [C laughs]

C: Fuck off, Sam. It's just 8 years early. [G laughs] You'll have to get used to back pain anyway.

G: Exactly.

C: Yeah, there is just no reason to kill Jake. Like, he's not dangerous, and, like Sam, knows that his intentions are good, like the only thing you'd want to do is maybe stay away from him if you think he's gonna to try to kill you again.

G: He shows more empathy for like, what's her name? Ava having murdered someone directly in front of him-

C: And murdered like, dozens of people before that.

G: Yeah. And also is pretty much assuredly evil at that point. He was still hesitant to kill her, exactly.

C: Yeah.

G: And yet with Jake, it's like, "No, no, no. Murder is only the answer, and we have to tear this 'son of a bitch' apart." And it's like- [C groans] And I know, like- like- [sighs] I- [groans] It's horrible.

C: And also, like, the very end of last episode, like Jake attempted to kill Sam, and then Sam had the chance to kill Jake, and he still didn't. So like, what has changed? Does back pain really do that to you?

G: That was- [laughs] Maybe it does. [both laugh] But the thing that they were trying to do this episode was like, "Oh, Sam is dangerous now that he's back because he's not back as himself. He's back as some creature."

C: Yeah.

G: Fuck off. You don't even commit to that.

C: Yeah, like Azazel does the whole thing, and Dean's like, "Meh." And he doesn't like, give Sam any suspicious looks or anything at the end of the episode, and, as far as I'm aware, in season 3, it's never a plot point that Sam's brought back wrong.

G: Yeah. It's more of a plot point that Dean is brought back wrong.

C: Yeah, it's weird.

-

G: Ugh. Anyway. Dean is like, "We're just gonna eat. Like, calm down." And so they go to eat, right? And then, in between that and the next scene, Sam relays what has happened in the kill town, and so Dean is like, "Poor Andy."

C: Deanandy real.

G: Deanandy real, real number one. But the second thing I thought of was like, "Ava is a victim too!" And you're- I know she turned out evil-

C: Also, what about Lily? She died.

G: Yeah! Literally everyone in that scenario was a fucking victim. And Dean only had eyes for Andy. Literally why you are- what's the joke?

C: Why are you as a man-

G: [laughs] Why are you, as a man, only thinking about Andy Gallagher?

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. And Sam relays that the demon said he only wanted one of us to walk out alive, and Dean is like "Oh, he talked to you?" Sam says, "In a dream." Dean says, "He tell you anything else?" And Sam says, "No. Nothing else. He told me nothing else. He didn't say anything else-" [laughs]

C: Yeah, like, "Why are you asking questions, Dean? What the fuck? Maybe the demon talked to you in a dream and said that you had demon blood. Have you considered that, Dean? Huh? Huh?"

G: [laughs] Literally.

C: Why do you think he's keeping this from him?

G: Well, maybe it scared him a bit. Like, "I have demon blood-" But also, like, I didn't really connect that it was the demon blood he was hiding for a little bit. I thought he was hiding the fact that Mary knew the demon.

C: Oh, yeah, that could be part of it.

G: Which- that is even more confusing. Like, why would he hide that? And I was like, "I don't know." And then I was like, "Oh, no no no, he's hiding the blood demon part." And it's like, "Oh, okay, that makes a little bit more sense." But like, at this point, just tell Dean. Like, just tell him, you know?

C: Yeah, like, you know, he's not gonna kill you.

G: Yeah.

C: I don't think that was ever a major fear. It was maybe a desire at points. Yeah, I don't know. I guess it's just a lot to take in. He doesn't want to tell Dean until he's done processing it himself, I guess. But we don't really get much of Sam's internal life here, so I don't know.

G: Yeah. Anyway, Sam thinks like, "If Jake got away, then I got away, then the demon was wrong, and both of us got away instead of just one of us. So like, why is that?" And Dean- it's Dean's turn to hide something. He's like, "Well, they left you for dead. They probably thought it was over. What's he gonna do with Jake?" And then Sam does the whole, like, "We gotta stop him. Whatever it is, we gotta stop him." And then, you know, it's the whole thing again where Dean is like, "No, no, no, wait up, wait up. Can't you just take care of yourself for a little bit? It's not the Apocalypse yet." And this is the part where Sam asks about the Roadhouse, and Dean has to say that it has been burned to the ground because of demons. And Ash was like, looking for something, blah blah blah. And so Sam says, "Well, we gotta go to Bobby's. It's near here," which, you know, now that we know it's in South Dakota, yeah, it's probably near.

C: Also, Dean says, "Ash is dead, and probably Ellen, too," and I know that they know that Jo is not at the Roadhouse anymore, but can you just spare a quick thought for her? Has anyone told her yet?

G: No, exactly.

C: Like, if they think Ellen is dead, they need to call Jo. Like, Ellen, probably has called Jo already, so it's fine, but in their universe, where Ash and Ellen are dead and the Roadhouse has burned down, like, fucking call Jo.

G: That's her mother, and that's her home. Like, fucking call her. Yeah.

And then Dean is like, "Why can't you just take care of yourself? Why do we have to go to Bobby's?" But Sam insists. So they go to Bobby's.

-

C: Yeah, so Bobby opens the door, and Sam and Dean are there, and Bobby's like, "What the motherfuck?" [laughs] Because Dean didn't even text in advance.

G: Yeah. [laughs] "Hey, heads up. The dead person that you left behind is now alive."

C: "Yeah, just so you know." Like, I'm surprised that he didn't do any kind of holy water or like, silver blade test on Sam, because, you know, that's probably what you would assume first.

G: But like, maybe he's assuming that because Dean is like, talking to this guy-

C: Yeah, that he's already done the tests.

G: Yeah.

C: So right, they greet each other, and they go in. It's Bobby, like looking at Dean like "bro." And Dean's just like, "Well, Sam's better, and we're back in it now. So what do you know?"

G: "What do you know?"

C: [laughs] "What's a fella to do?"

G: [laughs] "What's a fella to do?"

C: So Bobby shows them a map, and he says that there have been a bunch of sudden demonic omens happening everywhere except for in Southern Wyoming, almost as if the demons are surrounding it. And he tells Sam to just look at the map alone as an excuse to go and talk to Dean alone. So they go out to the junkyard, and- Do you want this? You seem to care about this scene.

G: I mean, not really.

C: Okay.

G: This is the part of the episode where I was- You texted me, like, in the middle of the episode that you were like, "I just feel like I don't want to be watching this anymore." [both laugh] And this is the part of the episode where I was like, "Yeah, me too. I don't really wanna be watching this anymore." Which- okay, to our audience, right? I just want to say, I find it annoying when other people do the thing where they're like, "We're doing a podcast, but we hate the show." And like, [laughing] I want you to know that I still love Supernatural. We're just going through a rough patch right now. So. [laughing]

C: Yeah, Supernatural's sleeping on the couch right now, but once they clean up their act and get Cas back, it'll be better.

G: Yeah, like Supernatural and I are at our divorce era. But we will remarry. So. [C laughs]

Okay. I'll take this scene.

C: Alright.

G: So Bobby comes out. Dean comes out. Oh my god, Happy LGBT Day. [both laugh] That joke is so bad. But anyway, Dean and Bobby go out to the yard, and Bobby's like, "You stupid ass! What did you do? What did you do?" And then he was like, "You made a deal for Sammy, didn't you? How long did they give you?" And Dean confessed that they gave him a year. And Bobby goes like, "Dammit, Dean." Which is- the only thing I thought was like, "That's a Cas line! Bobby, you're stealing Cas's lines. He's the one who's supposed to say 'Dammit, Dean' in like, season 9 or something." But Dean is like, "I mean, now that I have nothing to lose, now that I have just a year left, I guess I'll have to kill the demon, right? Like I don't have- I literally will be dead in a year, so I have nothing to lose." And Bobby is very angry. He's like, "I can throttle you!" And Dean is being snarky and being like, "Oh, what, send me ahead of schedule?" But like- the dialogue is like a bit like, you know, fun, but, like, the scene is very sad. Like, Bobby is holding him by the neck like a cat, and then at some point he like, holds his face, and it- it does make you very sad.

C: Yeah. That's his kid.

G: Yeah. At some point, he says, like- [laughs] Oh my god, I'm tearing up! Insane behavior. But Bobby says, "What is it with you Winchesters? You're just like, fucking so ready to throw yourselves into the pit. Like, first your dad, now you." And Dean says, "That's the point, Bobby. Like, Dad wasn't even- I'm not even supposed to be here because Dad just sold his soul for me to be here. So at least something good can come out of it." And Bobby says, "What? Like there wasn't anything good in it before?" Ahh! Okay. Yeah. Then he asks, like, "Why is your opinion on yourself so low?" Blah blah blah.

C: "Are you that screwed in the head?"

G: And he is, Bobby. Like, I don't know if you know this, Bobby, but he is that screwed in the head. And Dean says like, "I couldn't let him die. I just couldn't. He's my brother." And Bobby says, "How is your brother going to know that you're going to Hell because of him?" And Dean says, like, "You can't tell him. Please don't tell him. You can take a shot at me, whatever you want to do. But please don't tell him."

C: Yeah. And this is- in "Crossroad Blues," right, Dean confronts the guy who sold his soul for his wife who was dying of cancer.

G: Yeah.

C: And he was like, "I think you did it for yourself so you wouldn't have to live without her. But guess what? She's going to have to live without you now. Like, how do you think she'd feel when she knew that it like, cost your soul?" So, you know, this is sort of Bobby reiterating that. But Dean, of course, has double standards. But I mean, don't all of we? Like, all of us? Like, I'd be pissed if someone sold their soul for me, but like, I would like, definitely sell my soul for like, a handful of people to have like a good week. [both laugh] So- Yeah, I get it.

G: I just think- because the computation doesn't add up. So you have one soul in Hell already because he thinks that two souls are going to go to Heaven. But now you have two souls in Hell because those two people thought that one soul is going to heaven. So Sam. So like, it just doesn't add up, you know what I mean?

C: Well, there's also time on earth that matters. But yeah, I guess since Hell is for eternity, then it's maybe weighted higher.

G: I mean, maybe now it does add up, because finally, John is in Heaven now. [laughing]

C: Boo!

G: Incredibly funny scene. So maybe it was worth it just for being funny. Also, isn't it so funny that lik, for the longest time, I didn't know that John was in Heaven? I thought he was still in Hell. And then now, it's like, in the most forgettable season finale of the entire show.

C: Yeah.

G: 'Cause this is, right? Like, I can name what happens in every other season finale of the show.

C: I mean, we can name what happens in this one, too. Like, Dean makes a deal and all the demons come out.

G: I can. I mean, I know that Dean makes a deal, but like, that's literally the only thing, and that's the beginning of the season finale. So like, that's not the finale finale. Like, I know that season 9, Dean like, opens his eyes, and he becomes a demon. And then, like, I know everything else for every other season. But this one, and you ask me like, "How does this season end? Like, what's the last shot of the season?" I don't fucking know. [C laughs] I think it's the most forgettable one. Easily. Do you not think so? Or you don't have the opportunity to forget yet?

C: I don't know the end of season, like, 10. Like, they kill Death at some point, but like-

G: Yeah, they kill Death at some point.

C: I don't know how it ends ends.

G: They release the fucking Darkness.

C: Oh, for real?

G: I think so.

C: Oh yeah, because they created all the problems in season 11 that they have to solve. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. I think maybe that's the reason why this episode was bad. Because the thing that is good about it, which is like, resurrecting Sam, the thing that is memorable, happens in the first quarter of the episode. So maybe that's why it's like, you're like halfway through, and you're like, "I don't want to be watching this anymore. The good stuff's over."

C: Yeah, maybe.

G: And they kill here the main villain of the first 2 seasons. [laughs] And you're like, "Whatever. Who cares?"

C: I mean, that's why they had to release 200 more demons so that they could get funding for season 3.

G: [laughs] No, exactly.

C: Yeah. But also, I feel like Dean just also thinks that Sam doesn't need him as much as Dean needs Sam, which is true, but I think he also thinks that Sam doesn't love him as much as Dean loves Sam, which I don't think is true.

G: I think that's an incredibly self-centered thing to think for literally any relationship.

C: Yeah.

G: And, as I said earlier, I think Dean is incredibly selfish for what he's done. So, makes sense. [C laughs]

We're just about to get to the emotional part here. So like, Bobby is crying, Dean is crying, Bobby is holding his face. And you think, "Oh no, are they gonna hug? That's so sad." But there's sound, and they are like, [gasps]. And they go hide in the cars, blah blah blah. But the sound turns out to be [both] Ellen!

C: Good for her.

-

C: So we are back inside Bobby's, and he, like, gives her a shot glass full of holy water to test that she's not a demon. And for some reason, she doesn't- she seems kind of resistant to like, taking the shot, but she eventually-

G: Do you think this holy water tastes disgusting?

C: Possibly. Like, all old water tastes kind of gross, so.

G: Yeah, like, is this filtered? Is this tap water? Is this like, water from like, a fucking tank? What's the deal? You know what I mean?

C: Yeah, I don't know. I mean, didn't John make holy water by putting a rosary in a tank?

G: Yeah, I know. [laughing] Yeah.

C: So maybe Bobby just got some tap water and then put a rosary in it.

G: Exactly. Do you- you're not Catholic, right? You're not-

C: No, I'm not anything.

G: Yeah. Because like, at our house, there's like, we have holy water. And like, I feel like in every Filipino Catholic house, there's always this thing, but it's like a screwtop bottle where the bottle is shaped like Mama Mary-

C: Aww.

G: Maybe I should drink from it, just to see what it takes like. [both laughing] Yeah. I will not. I'm sorry. I am committed to the podcast, but not that committed. [C laughs]

C: So yeah, she explains that they burned down the whole Roadhouse, and she was intended to be murdered too, but coincidentally, she was out on a pretzel run at the time. And Ash called her super panicked and said to check the safe in the basement, and then she came back, and everyone was dead. And she doesn't mention Jo at all here, either. Where's Jo?

G: Yeah. They were just like, "I don't know. Forget her."

C: Forget her.

G: I don't even know if she shows up in season 3.

C: Aw, really?

G: I mean possibly, right? She has to. She shows up in 4, of course.

C: Doesn't Dean try to pull the "last night on earth" on her? Is that related to his demon deal in season 3 or is that a season 4 thing?

G: Didn't he already pull that?

C: Oh, did he already?

G: Like last time- the first time they met?

C: Oh, maybe.

G: No! He pulls that, I think, in season five. It's the same episode as the shots episode, I think.

C: Oh, okay, I see. So she managed to rescue what was in the safe, and it is a map of Wyoming [both laughing] with some lines on it.

G: Incredibly funny.

C: Yup. Ash died for this.

G: Ash literally died for this. He turned into ash for this.

C: Aw. [laughs] No! Yeah, so Bobby like, loredumps a bit. So apparently, each of the X's on the map is an old frontier church that was built by Samuel Colt, and then he built like, railway lines connecting all of the churches such that they formed a devil's trap. Which means that all these railway lines were intersecting with each other, and all the trains crashed into each other, and everyone died. [laughs]

So yeah, it forms a devil's trap, and since it's made out of iron, that means that no demons can cross anywhere here, and it's huge. It's like, all of Wyoming. And it definitely still works because none of the demons have been able to touch Southern Wyoming yet. And Dean says that the only thing he can find that's in the middle is some old cemetery. So they are all wondering what was Samuel Colt trying to protect in there, or what was he trying to keep in? Dun-dun-dun!

G: Ooh.

C: And Bobby's like, "I don't think any full-blood demon could get across those lines to go inside." And Sam's like, "Oh. I know what Jake is going to be tasked with."

-

G: So we go to Jake who is now, just like, driving, and he stops by the railroad. Yellow-Eyes is there. Azazel is there. And they talk again-

C: When do we even learn Azazel's name? Because he's dead by the end of this, and we still don't know his name.

G: Yeah, I know. I was waiting for it. And it's like, "Nope, they're not gonna show it." I think there's like a little bit of lore about how demon names are like, super important.

C: Hmm.

G: So like ,they were trying to not say Azazel's name because of that.

C: Okay.

G: Maybe? I don't know. I don't really remember it that well. But I think that's the reason why they don't say his name. But he tells Jake that 50 miles ahead, there's a crypt, and they need Jake to open that crypt. And Jake is like, "Go do it yourself. Fuck you! Why do you want me to do it?" And Azazel says, like, "Well, I can't." Which, now we know is because of the star- well, it's not a star. What's it called?

C: A pentagram?

G: A pentagram. Because of the pentagram railroad. He says, like, "If you're gonna open that that crypt, though, you need a key." And he hands Jake the gun, and he says, "This is the only gun that can kill me." It's the Colt, by the way. He hands it over. "This is the only thing in the universe that can shoot me dead." And Jake is like, "Is that so?" And then he takes it, and of course, obviously, he points the gun at the Yellow-Eyed Demon. And Azazel is doing the whole, like, "Well, you can shoot me and your life, you can go back to normal, except you can't go back to the military because you've gone AWOL, and maybe they'll let you back in at the factory. But you let me continue- if you do what I tell you to do, and it's just super simple, you just open the crypt, you and your family will live a luxurious life, and you will be royalty." And I just think- why is this the thing that-?

C: Yeah, like, he started with "I'm going to kill your mom and sister," and like, he ends at, "I will make sure your mom and sister get to eat ice cream"? Like- [laughs]

G: Exactly. And it's like, I think a reasonable thing to be said here is "You can kill me, but I'm not the only demon in the fucking world."

C: Yeah, and "I'm important in Hell, and they will go after your family anyway."

G: Yeah, like "You will be dead, and your family will be dead, so like, might as well follow my orders." And I was waiting for him to say that. And so I was like, so shocked when Jake put down the gun. And like, we talk about-

C: Also, capitalism is a hellscape. So- [laughs] I kind of get it.

G: I mean, I- Honestly, I really don't get it.

C: I think the royalty thing is stupid. But I do think the whole like, "Okay, like, you want to go back to your normal life? Well, you're gonna be unemployed and working like, minimum wage," and- I just-

G: Yeah, "You won't be able to sustain your family," blah blah blah.

C: Yeah, like, "If your mom trips and falls down the stairs, then it's over for her," or whatever. Like, I do get it, but I think that the way that it was presented was not very convincing, and ending on "You'll be royalty" being what like motivates Jake feels off.

G: Yeah, especially because he literally just threatened his family with disembowelment.

C: Yeah.

G: Like, I don't know. Is this- the way they- [laughs] It's not like they were making a commentary about capitalism this episode. [both laughing] They were like, "Capitalism is the root of all evil and literally what the demonic powers that be have used to control and manipulate humanity." Like, they weren't saying that.

C: Yeah.

G: So like, I feel like making that argument is like, a little bit faulty.

C: Mm.

G: Yeah. Hate it. Hate it so much. One, Jake should have been the one to kill this guy.

C: Yes.

G: I do not care Sam and Dean.

C: Yeah. He should have just shot, and then that was the end of season 2. Bye.

G: He puts down the gun, and then Jake proceeds.

C: Yup.

-

C: So we're at that cemetery in the middle of the pentagram, and Jake's coming in, walking towards the crypt, and like, we see that Dean is hiding somewhere. And then Sam says, "Howdy, Jake." And a fucking arsenal of white people [laughs] jump out and surround him, and it looks ridiculous. They have four people against one guy. It's stupid as shit. [G laughs] Like, he is one guy with one bullet, and they have four whiteys just surrounding him. Diversity win, one of them is a woman. It's Bobby, Ellen, Sam and Dean. It- yeah, it looks bad. It looks like a fucking firing squad or something. Like, it's not good.

G: [sighs] Well, it gets worse. I'll tell you that.

C: It gets worse, I'll tell you that. Literally- okay, so Jake in this scene. It's been, what?

G: He's a completely different guy.

C: He drove fifty miles. It's been what? Like, an hour? What happened?

G: Suddenly he is like, "Oh, I can control-"

C: "Control people's minds."

G: The thing he said here was like, "If you open your mind, there's like many Jedi tricks you could do."

C: Yeah, right, like, he did not have an open mind about being demon blood-y like an hour ago. What was happening on that car ride?

G: Yeah. Like, he was listening to like a right-wing podcast, and he was like, suddenly, I knew-

C: He turned on the Joe Rogan show. [both laugh]

G: Exactly.

C: And suddenly, everything changed. God. Yeah.

So Jake is really freaked to see Sam alive because he's like, "I super killed you. Like, I cut through your spinal cord. You cannot be alive." And Bobby like, tells him to like, take it easy, and Jake goes all like, "And if I don't?" And this isn't- he's not like- From what we've seen, he does not seem like the type to like, try to provoke an enemy, you know? Like, I don't know why he's doing- I mean, I know why he's doing this is because Eric Kripke hates Black people and he wants to justify Jake's death in some way. But like, whyy?

G: I don't know. I fucking hate this scene.

C: Yeah. Because like, and then he like, goes at Sam, he's like, "What are you gonna do? Kill me?" Like, Jake, what are you doing?

G: He was like-

C: You have one bullet!

G: Yeah.

C: So, you know.

G: Let's say that he has one bullet, but he can mind control everyone to kill themselves. He still can't do that with Sam. Sam will still kill you, bro!

C: Sam can still kill you. And he did.

G: And he will.

C: Yeah. This is incredibly unstrategic, and I feel like the main Jake thing is being strategic.

So Jake starts doing like a little evil laugh, or whatever. And Dean says, "What are you smiling at, you little bitch?" And Dean usually tries to- like, he cares about the distinction between "bitch" and "son of a bitch" a lot, right? Like, I don't think he's ever called a man a bitch.

G: I know. I also took note of that. I was like, "Why are you calling him a bitch?"

C: [laughs] Besides Sam.

G: [laughs] Yeah. I-

C: And I think this is the Dean version of making the insult worse. I think that Dean thinks that "son of a bitch" is better than "bitch."

G: Yeah.

C: So he's like, "You don't even deserve to be the son of a bitch. You're just a bitch." [G laughs]

G: Ugh. Absolutely horrible.

C: Yeah, I mean, yeah. It's just another stone on the pile of dehumanization. And then Jake singles out Ellen. He says, like, "Lady, do me a favor. Put that gun to your head." And okay, I know that, like, during "Folsom Prison Blues," we were all like, "Henriksen isn't hot anymore because he's misogynistic." But I also think that it's the deliberate choice of the writers to make the three main recurring Black characters like in the season, Gordon, Henriksen, and Jake, like misogynistic in some ways so that we dislike them.

G: Yeah.

C: 'Cause he did not have this vibe at all earlier. Like, he was very respectful of Lily and Ava until he had to kill Ava.

G: Yeah. And like, I mean, we've reiterated over and over again. But he's not him this scene!

C: Yeah, I really thought he was possessed.

G: Because at some point, his eyes glow, right?

C: Yeah, they glow red.

G: So I was like, "Oh, he's possessed, then!" And then they just didn't- for the entirety of the next couple of minutes, I was thinking about like, my dilemma earlier, like, "How is he possessed and inside?"

C: Yeah.

G: And then, when I realized they like, "Oh, no, they're just doing this. It's just him. But like whatever the fuck." Up to the point where Sam was shooting him, and he was saying, like, "No, no," I thought like, "Oh, it's him again. He stopped being possessed?" But like, no, they just-

C: No, it's just him.

G: They just don't do anything with it.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Agh. Yeah. Whatever. So he gets Ellen to point her gun at herself. And yeah, Jake says that whole like, "That Ava girl was right. Once you give into it, there's all sorts of new Jedi mind tricks you can learn." Literally when did you give into it? Just during the Joe Rogan show? [G laughs] Like, bro.

G: I mean, the Joe Rogan show can make you do atrocities.

C: Yeah, I- is this supposed to be like, a twist? Like, is it supposed to be like, "Oh, you thought this whole time that he was like a cool, sympathetic guy, but actually the whole time that he's been offscreen, he's been practicing his powers." Is that what they're going for?

G: No.

C: I don't think so, yeah.

G: I mean, if it is, they did it so incredibly poorly that like, you saying that literally sounds like you're just pulling shit out of your ass.

C: Yeah.

G: Like, it's- this entire scene is so terribly written from every perspective. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, like, at least with Ava, she had like five months for her evil arc.

G: I know. Yeah.

C: Yeah, I feel like it says something about Supernatural's ethos. I feel like Supernatural believes that, like some people are just born with the capacity for evil, and you can just flip that switch at any time with no actual motivation.

G: Yeah.

C: It's odd.

G: Yeah.

C: So Jake tells everyone to put their guns down- "Except you, sweetheart," is what he says to Ellen again. Okay. And he takes the Colt out, and he puts it in the crypt and starts like, using it as a key. I don't really understand how this works. Does he just spin it around a lot?

G: No, he just puts it in and it starts-

C: Oh, it just starts spinning?

G: Yeah.

C: Did they-? Whatever, they made like a lot of automatons and stuff in like, Victorian era or whatever. It's- yeah, Samuel Colt's a smart guy.

Yeah, okay, so this is where we get to the part of the episode where, after it happened, I paused and took a half-hour break. So his back is turned, and Sam-

G: Just shoots him.

C: And it seems- like, we don't see who it is. It seems like everyone, but mostly Sam- shoots him in the back.

G: I think it's Sam. No, because Bobby and Dean like, specifically get Ellen.

C: Okay.

G: So it's really really just Sam. Sam does all the shooting.

C: So Sam like, shoots Jake in the back. Like, a lot. Like five times or something. Right?

G: And he's not yet done.

C: And he's not done yet. Jake falls to the ground, and like, he's bleeding profusely, he's like gargling blood, and he is begging Sam like, for his life, like saying like, "Please, don't." And Sam walks over him and shoots him three more times.

G: Yeah. And they do this thing where-

C: And blood spatters on Sam's face. And he does a whole thing where he like [both], wipes it off. [G groans] Like, fuck off.

So that was bad.

G: Yeah.

C: It's yeah, definitely I think the most brutal death in Supernatural thus far.

G: I mean, they even- like, the whole like, blood splatter on the face, they paralleled it with like-

C: Yeah, Dean and the vampire in "Bloodlust."

G: Yeah, Dean and the vampire, right? Except in "Bloodlust," they made a point of being like, "Dean was deeply affected by this, and Sam himself was deeply affected by this." And this one, it's just throwaway. Like, for a moment, Dean looks at him like "Huh!" And then he wipes the blood off his face, and that's the only recognition we get.

C: Remember in early season 2 when Sam was like, "Dean you're scaring me except when you're hunting when you're like, downright terrifying because of like, how okay you are with killing creatures"? And now Sam has murdered a full-ass human being, and no one gives a shit?

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. Again, I feel like we need to like, remember that this is like, the first human that either of them have killed, and Supernatural has been so staunchly against killing humans, even like, evil ones-

G: [groans] Yeah.

C: - and like, it doesn't matter.

G: I like, I completely forgot about that. I completely forgot about that. Like, this is the first human that they kill.

C: Yeah. Though I would say that in "Hollywood Babylon," they do let Walter get killed very easily.

G: No, they killed the- like, I mean, did they kill like, the fucking Benders?

C: Um, did they? No, the cop shot them.

G: Yeah. So this is the first human they kill.

C: Yeah. And they breeze over that. Like, that doesn't matter. Because they are incredibly dehumanizing of Jake in this whole episode.

G: Yeah.

C: Like, yeah. Yeah. And I think like, at the end of this episode, like, when they're leaving, I think I started tearing up because I remembered how Jake, like cut Lily down from the windmill to like-

G: Oh no!

C: Give her a proper funeral, and they leave his body there.

G: They just leave him there.

C: Like, his mom and sister are never gonna know about this because he's supposed to be in Afghanistan.

G: [sadly] Oh...

C: Like, he's just there like, in the middle of nowhere, Wyoming, like lying on the ground rotting, and his family is never gonna know, and they do not bother giving him a proper burial.

G: Yeah.

C: Also, like, a huge part of this season has also been how Sam and Dean have been accused of like, murdering people, and it's like, "No, we're good guys! [both] We would never murder people!" like you just murdered a human. Good job.

G: And it's not even a big deal to anyone.

C: Yeah.

Also, like, Sam, was like fucked for calling the cough on Gordon in "Hunted," but also like, a big part of "Hunted" was how like Dean sees Sam as a saint, and like, "Oh, like, go on, Sam. Like, kill me so that you can show like, your true colors," and then, like, he doesn't. So I just- what is the point? What's happening here? Why is any of this?

G: [sighs] I mean, who fucking knows. I wanna- ugh.

C: I mean, I guess I read a post that like, one of Kripke's original plans for the first 5 seasons was that Sam was gonna become like boyking of hell in order to get Dean out of his deal, so like, maybe this is the beginning of that arc, but also, who give a shit.

G: I mean, it doesn't happen, so it's-

C: Yeah, it doesn't happen, so like, whatever. And also, if it was gonna happen, it didn't have to start like this. Like, yeah, every single recurring Black character in this season has been an antagonist-

G: Yeah.

C: - and like, yeah, similar in a lot of ways. And it's a bad look,

G: And it frustrates me because they even have an entire episode as a race allegory, but like, how about the truth of it, Eric Kripke? Ugh. [C screams]

C: Yeah. It's a race allegory, except the bad guy is a Black man, and the good guys - the people with racism enacted against them - are white vampires. Cool, Eric Kripke. Cool, Sera Gamble.

G: God, that was Sarah Gamble too, right?

C: Yeah, "Bloodlust"? Yeah, no. She has a bad record.

G: Yeah, you're right.

C: Yeah. Who introduced Henriksen? I think Henriksen's a little more complex, but I think that at the beginning, he is just considered a bad guy or whatever.

G: A bad guy, yeah.

C: Is he in "Nightshifter"?

G: Yeah.

C: [accusingly] Bedlund!

G: Bedlund! [laughs] To be fair, he's not like, bad in that episode.

C: Yeah.

G: I don't think he was written poorly that episode.

C: Yeah, it really wasn't until "Folsom Prison Blues." In which case, [accusingly] John Shiban!

G: [laughs] Ugh.

C: Ugh. And I don't know how casting in Supernatural works. I know that Gordon is Black on purpose-

G: We've talked about this before.

C: - But yeah, I don't know about the others, but it's it's a hell of a coincidence if so. Yeah, also, and just like, they totally definitely cut Lily's line after they saw who the actress was. [G laughing]

G: Yeah.

C: They could have changed the script.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. So yeah. So that did occur. And yeah, and then the crypt opens up, and there's like black smoke that goes out, whoo.

G: Yeah. They take cover. And then the Yellow-Eyed Demon-

C: How did the demons even get past the devil's trap? Like, I get that you let all of them out, but how do they cross still?

G: There's like a shot, where like, the devil's trap has been uprooted because of the strength of the demons.

C: Oh, okay.

G: Mm. Whatever. [laughs] Literally, who give a shit. [both laugh] Anyway, it's revealed that this is a devil's gate, a door to Hell, and it has just been opened. So there's demons coming out all the time. And Dean realizes that the Colt is the Colt, so he's like, "[gasps] We can kill the Yellow-Eyed Demon with this."

So the Yellow-Eyed Demon appears, and he flings the Colt towards himself. And then- I actually really like the actor for Azazel. Yeah. I think the way he speaks, and like, the intonation of his voice is very demonic. He's like, "That shouldn't be-" he says something like, uh, what was that?

C: Like, "Boys shouldn't play with daddy's guns"?

G: Yeah. But the way he says it was like, very like, ooh, creepy. And yeah, he- I think he fits his role well.

C: And he has the good like, snake oil/car salesman sort of-

G: Look?

C: - way of speaking too. And look. And yeah, it's fun.

G: He looks like someone who will scam you. And he will.

-

C: So right, he like, throws Dean against a tombstone while the other three are trying very hard to push a door closed- the crypt door.

G: Yeah. [laughing] Yeah. It's so funny- no, because like, Sam gets like, pushed around, right? And then like, Dean goes and leaves Ellen behind, and the door like, swings back open.

C: Yeah. No, yeah, Sam super ditches Bobby and Ellen at the door as soon as he sees Dean get thrown around. Like, I'm so sorry, Bobby and Ellen.

Right, so, and then the demon throws Sam against a tree, too, and he's like, "I'll get to you later," which is exactly the season one finale where like, even though Sam is his special little child, all he wants to do is monologue at Dean,.

G: This entire scene, he monologs at Dean, and it's not even that Sam can hear it, because they specifically do a shot where it's like, from Sam's perspective, and it's muffled. So it's like, what even is the point?

C: Yeah. It's- yeah. And he tells Sam like, "Oh, but I'm proud of you for winning the Hunger Games! I'm so glad you did so much racism!" Alright, dude.

So yeah, he tells Dean like, "Thank you. Because like, all of this plan shit is only working because of you. Because, you know, like there's no way that a demon can resurrect someone unless there's a deal being made." Which means like- Okay, I feel like last episode, it was clear that his thing about favorites was fake. But now, he's like "I like, would have resurrected Sam to win the Hunger Games."

G: Yeah, which is quite unfair.

C: Yeah. It is not-

G: I think who wins should win, you know?

C: Yeah.

G: Like, this Azazel guy, he's not a fair player. Surprise. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. This is a democratic process, and you are not treating the system the way it was meant to be.

Yeah, so he says specifically, "I liked him better than Jake." What? All Sam- Sam's only power is like, having bad dreams. Literally, what does he have going for him?

G: Absolutely nothing.

C: Right. Like, Azazel says in the last episode that he likes Sam because he's like, well-trained because of John, but like, Jake's well-trained because he's in the military!

G: Because he's literally a soldier, yeah.

C: He's literally a soldier. Yeah. So he says, like, "Oh, but you know, that deal is probably too good to be true. Like, you got a whole year, which is way better than your dad got. And, well, you saw what your brother just did to Jake, right? That was pretty cold. How certain are you that what you brought back is one hundred percent pure Sam?"

G: Dun-dun-dun.

C: [laughs] But then they do nothing with that. Whatever.

G: Yeah.

C: Also, yeah, I am mad that Sam can't hear any of it because I thought maybe part of the point was that Sam would overhear what Azazel said about the deal.

G: Yeah.

C: But no. When he says that, it doesn't even cut to Sam's face. It doesn't cut to Sam's face until the end of the speech.

G: Where they were just like, "Wait wait wait. We need to make sure Sam doesn't hear." So they cut to Sam. It's like, "Okay, fine, whatever."

C: So, right. He keeps monologuing. He's like, "What's dead should stay dead. I couldn't have done it without your pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family." So true. And then- [cry-laughing] [both laughing]

G: Now, onto the funniest scene in this entire episode.

C: I-

G: I was laughing. I was genuinely laughing.

C: I lost my mind.

G: [laughing] Because this- It was like- it was the most like, "what the fuck?" scene, right?

C: It was so fucking random.

G: And then it's followed by this, which is like, another type of "what the fuck" scene. And it's like, "Oh, okay." Cool. We're doing this? Cool.

C: So, fucking John Winchester [G laughs] fucking Naruto-runs at Azazel and like, hugs him from behind - Johnzazel real-

G: Literally.

C: - and then takes him down to the ground.

G: Yeah.

C: Like, John Winchester. JDM. Like, he is here.

G: John Dean Minchester.

C: John D. Minchester [both laugh] has entered the chat. And I don't know how to describe how fucking random this was. Yeah. He's here.

G: I'll just- they just like, fucking- they roll around, hashtag Johnzazel truthing [laughs] until eventually, the- 'cause when John tackles him, he like, turns to smoke, right? The smoke re-enters the body, and the body stands up, and Dean, who is like lying by the fucking headstones, points the Colt at the demon. And then we get the iconic Dean firing the shot shot.

C: Yeah.

G: And I mean, it's pretty cool. Like, we get the-

C: Good for Dean.

G: Good for Dean. This is- I mean, you've seen this before, haven't you?

C: The shot? I suppose, but I didn't know it came from here because again, I thought Sam was gonna be the one to kill Azazel.

G: Yeah. But eventually, the demon dies, obviously. And then- [laughing]

C: Oh, also, Bobby and Ellen managed to close the door. Whatever.

G: Whatever. Dean goes up to John, and John is like glowing. [both laughing] He's in a skin care commercial right now, and he's glowing, and he's like, smiling serenely. And then, he holds Dean by the shoulder-

C: Yeah.

G: [laughing] And then, like, he just looks over Sam. He's in the distance. Sam is nowhere near these two. Sam is standing far away. And there's this one shot where it's like, two of them are on the side of the frame and Sam is in the middle, and it looks goofy as shit! It looks terrible. And I was waiting for him to let go of Dean's shoulder and go towards Sam, but it never fucking happens.

C: No.

G: Literally, he was like, "Even in death, Sam is not deserving of a pat on the back."

C: Yeah, and maybe he only patted Dean on the back 'cause he killed Azazel, not because he loves him.

G: Yeah. [laughs] Yeah. Anyway, he walks towards the light. [both scream]

C: And also, Bobby and Ellen also smile at him, even though they both hate his guts.

G: Yeah! Bobby literally pulled out a gun at this guy. But he steps back, and he disappears into the light.

C: But like, a glitch effect. Like, his image like, glows and like, judders.

G: Yeah. They were sending him to Heaven, but there was an error. So he got set back to Hell. Unfortunately.

C: Yeah, Heaven was like, "I don't know if we want this guy?" Sad.

G: Sad.

C: Sad but true.

G: Just send him back. Send him back to Hell. Yeah.

C: Ugh, god. We got like, two like, goofy, like, glowing deaths, or like glowing ghosts going going aways in this season. I think it was just to lead up to this so you can be like, "Don't worry! The glow means he's going to Heaven and not Hell!" But like, it's stupid. So whatever.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. The funniest, funniest thing ever. So Sam and Dean are now standing over Azazel's dead body, and once more. I'm pissed that Azazel got to die with dignity with one bullet and no one even spat on him, or like, stomped their boot on his face, whereas Jake got terrible death. But yeah. They're standing over his body, and they're having a bit of banter. Whatever. Dean's like, "I'll check that off the to-do list," and Sam says, "You did it," and Dean's like, "I didn't do it alone."

G: Boo.

C: Boo. And then they talk about how John climbed out of Hell. Whatever. And Sam asks where Dean thinks he is now, and Dean says, "I don't know." Like, was this what the point of "Hope is kind of the whole point" is? Like, is it supposed to like, be here?

G: Ugh. Who cares? [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: No, I think maybe a little bit. Because I mean, it's like, going into the light, "hope is kind of the whole point." And then here, it's like, the same thing.

C: Yeah. So right, Sam starts saying shit about like, "I can't believe this. Our whole lives, we've been preparing for this, and now I don't know what to say." And I was like, "Is this season 1? Are we back at season 1?" Like, whatever. [both laugh] And Dean's like, "I know what to say. That was for our mom, you son of a bitch." Azazel still gets the dignity of "son of a bitch."

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. Okay.

G: Anyway-

C: Also, this whole time, all I was thinking is like, "Where did Bobby and Ellen go?"

G: [laughs] Yeah.

C: Like, they're just sitting on the ground as Sam and Dean have their whole thing.

-

G: Sam and Dean, they go to the car. And Sam is like, "When Jake saw me, he was so surprised. Like, I think he really thought I was dead." And he starts asking like, "What happened after I got stabbed?" And Dean is like, "Well, we just killed the demon. Why can't we just celebrate for a minute?" when Sam is like, "Did I die? Did you sell your soul for me, Dean?" And Dean is like, trying to deflect until Sam asks like, "Tell me the truth." And then Dean is like, "Sam- [fake sobbing]" [C laughs] And Sam is like, "How long did they give you?" And he says, "One year." Sam says, "You shouldn't have done that. How could you do that?" And Dean says, "Don't get mad at me. Don't you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job." Which like, again. Fucking selfish ass. And Sam is like, "What do you think my job is? You saved my life over and over, and you sacrificed everything for me. Don't you think I'd do the same for you? You're my big brother, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you." So- Did you get emotional in this scene?

C: I think I liked "And what do you think my job is?" a lot.

G: Yeah. I did like it too.

C: Yeah. But yeah, if Sam had not brutally killed Jake, maybe I'd care a bit more.

G: I think- Okay, I'll finish Sam's line, which is that he says, like, "I'm gonna get you out of this, and I'm gonna save you, no matter what." So that's what he says. And I think- I wish he was just a little bit more angry. And I know that wouldn't have been productive, and that wouldn't have been a good use of the time. But I wish there was just a little bit more resistance of like, "How could you do that?" you know?

C: Right.

G: But I understand that like, at this point in this story, that's not what they're trying to do. I mean they do it- they do the hell out of it in season 9. So like, fine.

C: Right. I mean. Maybe, if they had a like- I don't know, if Dean had a like, "You're taking this better than I thought you would," and Sam had a line like "My biggest regret when Dad died was that our last conversation was that we fought-"

G: Was a fight, yeah.

C: "We only have a year together. I'm not gonna waste it being mad at you." I feel like if they just added that in, it'd be more satisfying.

G: Yeah. But whatever. [C laughs]

Ellen comes in and it's like, back to the plot! [C laughs] Yellow-Eyed Demon is dead, but there's so many demons scattered around, and Sam says like, "Maybe one hundred, maybe two hundred. It's gonna be an army." So they unleashed an army. And Bobby's like, [both, laughing] "Well, I hope you boys are ready, because the war has just begun." [laughing] I'm an angel with a shotgun- [both laughing]

C: He literally said- that's literally what he said at the end of season 1. Like, "There's a storm coming. There's a war coming. And you're all in the middle of it." And now, a whole season later, it's "There's a war coming, and you're in the middle of it."

G: Yeah. [laughs] It's just a never-ending "Oh my god, there's something coming."

C: But it's the same thing.

G: Yeah. And then we get- because like, in this scene, Sam is in the foreground and Dean is in the background-

C: Yeah! No, this pissed me off.

G: - And then they like-

C: The camera unfocuses on Sam and refocuses on Dean.

G: Yeah, unfocuses on Sam. And then Dean is like, "Well then." And then he smiles. This is actually like, a pretty much constantly screencapped scene. Like, Dean smiling here. Yeah. I see it a lot. And it's people being like, "He just gave his life for his brother, but he's still smiling!" blah blah blah. And I'm like, "Ugh. [C laughs] Okay. Cool." [both laughing]

I'm so evil today. I'm so sorry, everyone.

Anyway, they recreate the scene from like- where was this scene from? It's season 1-

C: Episode 1, end of the pilot when Sam returns after Jess's death.

G: Yeah. They recreate that scene. "We got work to do," and then they close the lid. End of season 2.

C: Boo.

G: Boo. [laughs]

-

C: I don't want to be too negative, but also, not feeling it, guys.

G: Not feeling it. Never felt it- No, I did feel it at the beginning of season 2, I feel, and for a little bit in the middle. But now, right now, towards the end- I feel like, we got like, a little bit fatigued with like the themes and motifs and blah blah blah.

C: Yeah.

G: Because it was like, a little bit repetitive. And then, when it wasn't repetitive, it was just completely ignored. And it's like, "Well, why don't you do something else?"

C: Yeah. And I think we're also upset that, I'd say, the two episodes we liked the most, which are "Houses of the Holy," and then- what was it? "Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things" were all hated on IMDB.

G: Yeah. But we'll discuss that- we'll get into it next episode where we talk about our overall season thoughts. So just this episode-

C: That's true. Oh, and also, Q&A, send us questions, please!

G: Oh yeah! We forgot to say at the beginning of the episode, do send us questions, pwease.

C: Pwease! I know all we've done today is be grumpy, but I promise that we'll be cool.

G: Yeah. We'll enter your questions gleefully.

C: Yes.

G: So furthermore- let's- Furthermore? Wow! Big word. [laughs] No, let's just talk about this specific episode. So what are your thoughts for this specific episode?

C: Yeah, I mean it's hard to say because of the half-hour break I took in between. Like, I feel like maybe I didn't connect the pieces together as much as I would have if I'd watched it all together. But- eh. Eh. There's a lot of weird tonal shifts with Jake's characterization, with grieving going to like, a war plot going to whatever, like it doesn't cohere.

G: Yeah, I do agree. I think-

C: [laughing] And the ghost of John.

G: The ghost of John was like, so fucking- it was like blink-and-you-miss-it too, right?

C: Right. I had no idea it was gonna happen. Did you remember that this happened?

G: I do remember that John comes back, and then like, when he shows up, I'm like, "Oh, it's this episode?" And I was like, "Well, that makes sense that it's this episode because it couldn't have been further." Yeah. But like, my god is it so fucking- yeah.

C: I mean, I would assume that this scene would be like, memed to hell because it's so funny, but I haven't seen a single post about it, and I don't know what that says.

G: The only post I've seen about it is about how his outfit this scene is the same outfit that Lucifer as Nick wears. [laughs]

C: So true.

G: So there was this one post that was speculating once that, like, maybe that guy was Lucifer. [laughs]

C: Yeah. I'll take it.

G: Perhaps. I'll take it, too. He was Lucifer, and John is still rotting in Hell. [C laughs]

G: Yeah. So Best Line/Worst Line.

C: I did really like, "And what do you think my job is?" despite how much I hate Sam this episode. I feel like- it's short, and it works very well because Dean looks like, shocked at the implication that any familial, like, obligation or love that he feels is mutual, and I think it's a good moment of like, "I know this entire fucking season has been Dean-centric, but remember that Sam is also a person who also feels the same amount of responsibility towards his brother."

G: Yeah, like, "He has motivations too. He's a human being too." [C laughs] For me, I'll start with my worst line. My worst line is, "I'll tear that sort of a bitch apart" [C screams] or whatever that was.

C: Yep.

G: Yeah, it was- I literally- I know that they kill Jake in a way that's bad, like, you know. But I didn't know that it was going to be particularly from Sam, and I didn't know that, like, it was going to be for the motivations and the reasons that it happened.

C: Yeah, like pre-meditated revenge murder.

G: Yeah. So like, when Sam said this, I really- shock of my fucking life. So I hate it for that.

C: Yeah, I think that's also-

G: What's your worst line? Let's do that first.

C: That also feels like my worst line.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah, pretty much any line that's bad to Jake. Actually, maybe I'll take the "Once you give into it, there's all sorts of new Jedi mind tricks you can learn" line because it makes no fucking sense, and they just wanted to make him evil for no reason

G: For me, I think my best line is when Dean says, "My life could finally mean something," and Bobby replies, "Like it didn't mean anything before?" That one quite got to me.

C: Mm.

G: Okay. IMDB rating. I think this is gonna be lower than last episode.

C: What was the last episode? Like, 9.3 or something?

G: 9.3. Yeah.

C: I feel like people are still- I don't know. I feel like people like this, though. Maybe. I don't- I don't know- 8.9? I don't like it but-

G: 8.9? Actually, I kind of agree with you. I think this is an 8.8.

C: Mm.

G: Okay, I'm looking it up now. Holy shit!

C: Were you right?

G: No, it's a 9.4.

C: What? I'm so tired, you guys

For what?

Oh, well, people care about Dean, right? They'd probably be like, "Omg, I super cried at his monologue." Do you think that's what it is?

G: Yeah. I think people- I think maybe for the time, because, you know, most people are watching this are rating this while watching it the first time back then. So like, maybe at the time, it was good for what it was.

C: Eh.

G: Eh. I mean- oh, this says, "Disappointed."

C: Yeah? Yeah?

G: "I hate asking a question and only getting more questions as answers. I had a university professor who did this, and it drove me crazy." [both laugh] Yeah, and it's like "nobody knows whatever happens." "Disappointing and frustrating to watch an entire season with such a whimper of a climax." Yeah. So Dean selling- "I found the plot twist so out of line with the character development of Dean in the last two seasons" regarding the selling his soul. Do you agree with that?

C: No, I think Dean selling his soul is very in character.

G: I do think it's in line with his character, although I do still think, like I said, it's selfish and like, it's like, don't you ever learn, boy?

C: Yeah.

G: Like, your dad sold your soul for you, and now you're doing it again. But it does make sense for him to do it. Like, it's frustrating to watch. But he is stupid. So yeah.

C: Okay, there's another low review. There's a 5 out of 10. They said that "Do you have to go on and on with the forced sentimentality? [G laughs] Almost half the episode features either San or Dean emoting about some BS or another. It bored the pants off me." [G laughs]

G: No, I completely agree. Like, it feels forced this episode. Remember, like, that episode where they were like- the shtriga episode. What was that, right? The one where they- it ends with "I wish I was a kid."

C: Yeah.

G: And Dean was like, "If it's anything, I wish you were as well."

C: Yeah,

G: And it's like, that episode was like super sentimental, but like-

C: It worked.

G: It worked. And this one is like, the sentimentality is just screaming like, about your feelings, and it's like, well, we can show that in other ways.

C: Yeah.

G: I love that at this point in the show, we just read the negative reviews. [laughs]

C: Yeah, yeah. I don't care about the positive ones.

G: I don't care about people who give it 10 out of 10. Exactly.

G: Anyway, that's it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing the season two- well, next week, we will be discussing season 2 in general, as well as doing a Q&A for season 2, so send in your questions! Deadline September 18, 11:59 PM, Eastern Standard Time. [both] Whoo!

C: Yeah. So where are we?

G: Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts,

C: Follow us on social media. We are on Twitter at twitter.com/BeautiesPodcast and on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. And thank you to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod.

G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries- and questions- at [email protected]. See you guys next time. [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

#transcript

[feathered-serpents]

I’ve spoken about a TMA adaptation on this blog before, what I think it might look like etc. but I don’t think I’ve ever actually made a proper post about what would realistically be possible in a TMA adaptation, with Archive 81′s (disastrous) adaptation coming at us at full speed, I want to talk about a TMA adaptation and what that might look like 

Here is the biggest thing: We will never see a podcast-accurate TMA adaptation 

The Magnus Archives podcast as it is now will never be taken and adapted 100% faithfully to a television medium it just is not possible. I’m not talking about the tapes or the apocalypse or Jonmartin you could still adapt those faithfully I’m talking about the STATEMENTS 

The statements, the core of TMA, will not be adapted faithfully, it is impossible. 

Each Magnus episode is one statement, this statement is between twenty minutes to half an hour long, each season of Magnus contains forty episodes and there are five seasons for a grand total of 200 episodes. No platform is going to adapt that wholesale. It’s too much money, time, and effort for something that is not guaranteed to be successful, the absolute BEST we could hope for is 12 forty minute episodes split into five seasons. Realistically would probably be 6-8 episodes for the first season if not all seasons and the other four seasons would NOT be guaranteed out of the gate

(Also this isn’t really relevant but I doubt it would be hosted on Netflix. Archive 81 and the Magnus Archives sound VERY similar on paper despite being entirely different in execution and both have the word “Archive” in their title, so Netflix probs wouldn’t take both and if they did... they might change TMA’s name. I know how horrifying that sounds but given that Archive 81 got to keep its name and came first The Magnus Archives might get a title change to avoid confusion, probably nothing super different to still appeal to fans. I’m thinking “The Magnus Institute” is the most likely. So have fun with that let’s get back to this actual post) (I just realized if changed to “The Magnus Institute” the show’s abbreviation becomes TMI and that’s the funniest possible change they could make) 

So the statements would have to go, except, they wouldn’t actually. The statements could stay, they would just look drastically different 

The statements, the anthology, would becomes the bulk of these 40-60 minute episodes instead of the bulk of a 20-30 minute episode. Which means we would probably see statements either combined into one mega-statement, or get entirely new statements, or most likely some sort of combination of the two. You won’t see Lost John’s Cave adapted, but you might see a girl trapped in a cave with a monster chasing her while the candles and fire are now a MUCH bigger deal to hint at more fear entities at once in a single statement. This is the only way I see to handle statements and it’s unfortunate that without the right writers this could get bloated SO quick, but I do think it is possible for this to work. 

It’s kinda gonna depend on your own personal opinion if you hate that or not, but it’s what I think will happen. If TMA gets adapted wholesale with 200 TV episode I will eat a spider. Like. I will order one of those canned edible tarantulas and eat it  Now, the statements would be changed drastically, but... what about everything else? The characters? The themes? The events? The relationships? 

That could be kept. Untouched 

The question is... will it?

We all heard what Netflix did to Archive 81 in erasing a queer protagonists identity, the fear is that it or some other streaming service will do the same thing to TMA. I understand this, we now know that it is a VERY real possibility. But I don’t think it’s guaranteed. It’s going to depend on who gets it and how involved Rusty Quill and Jonny would be in it

I think it is possible to get an adaptation of TMA that still feels like TMA

But it is equally possible to get an adaptation of TMA that feels nothing like TMA

I think TMA is more likely to be accurate if it gets picked up by FX or HBO rather than a streaming service like Netflix, Hulu, Amazon but that’s just a gut feeling I could be talking out of my ass 

Of course, what are the chances of a TMA adaptation? I say... wiggly hand gestures. TMA was massively popular in its prime and if, for better or worse, Archive 81 is successful, the chances of TMA getting an adaptation goes up to decent I think. But I don’t know the logistics of how a show gets picked up very well

Finally, do I personally want a TMA adaptation? Yes. Very much so yes. If it has a team behind it who cares I think it could be great, I would like to see that, that’s the adaption I want

But I’m curious to see what other fans’ honest opinions of this are, do you hate the idea regardless? Or do you like me think that a good TMA adaptation is worth hoping for? 

Edit: One last thing! It is likely that if TMA is made into a TV show, it will not be Jonny’s decision. At least not entirely, Rusty Quill (Alex) will be the one who ultimately decides and signs off on it I THINK. I could be wrong. But I believe that’s how it would work. I doubt they’d do it without consulting Jonny, but it would not be his decision alone 

#tma #the magnus archives #side note surprise 81 got adapted before nightvale #or maybe saying that out loud I shouldn't be

[boombox-fuckboy]

"Life With Althaar" is in your askbox in reference to your request post.

If you haven't listened to that particular one could I place "wooden overcoats" in the box instead.

I'm gonna do both!!

Life With Althaar

Favourite Male Character: Althaar 💚

Favourite Female Character: Dee!

Favourite Nonbinary Character: Frallen-Br'ar. One of my favourite characters in anything ever honestly.

Least Favourite Character: I've not really thought about it... Although, Beaux Several, while very well written, is so very punchable.

Prettiest Character: Miss Sophie! I am a softie for dogs, spaniels especially. Though I imagine Frall looks very pretty as well. Sparkly.

Funniest Character: Tough call, probably Dee or Frall. HF has his moments as well... Or the Commander...

Favourite Season: I must admit I don't actually know where each season starts and ends.

Favourite Episode: a VERY tough call... The intro to 21 really sticks with me, I loved that.

Favourite Romantic Ship: John and Stella. Small, good-natured man and his buff talented gf who are both very supportive and proud of eachother is one of my favourite romantic dynamics

Favourite Family Ship: John and Susan!!

Favourite Friend Ship: John and Althaar, Dee and Xtopps, Dee and HF... This podcast has such great friendships, it's such a treat.

Worst Ship: not really thought about it, but any of the strong platonic pairs, John and Althaar, Dee and John especially, feel... Not quite right, viewed romantically?

Wooden Overcoats

Favourite Male Character: Rudyard. Disaster ace man. When will he learn? Probably never

Favourite Female Character: Georgie! She's so cool.

Least Favourite Character: That baker...

Prettiest Character: Madeline. Dear little mouse

Funniest Character: Antigone, for sure. The teen holigans (hoodlams?) are a close second.

Favourite Season: I love them all but probably S3?

Favourite Episode: Not 100% sure, but the season 2 finale is SO funny.

Favourite Romantic Ship: Mayor Desmond Desmond and Reverend Wavering, hands down, no question.

Favourite Family Ship: Rudyard and Antigone! The dorks.

Favourite Friend Ship: Georgie and Antigone, they're on a close enough wavelength to care about eachother but the way they do so and interact is so weird 💚

Worst Ship: Not thought about it.

#ask game #thank you for asking!! #wooden overcoats #life with althaar

[arce-elliot]

Magnus Archives - First Impressions (Ep. 1-25)

I’ve been messaging my friend (who has listened to TMA) with little short impressions after I finish each episode. I find them funny so I’m just gonna collect them all in one place.

For context, I knew a good amount about the podcast already and had been spoiled for most major characters/plot points through TikTok.

Under a read more cause it’s long as shit

EP 1 (Anglerfish): Jon: the first ten minutes is going to be exposition My ADHD ass: fucking uGGHHHHHH CAN SOMEONE GET MURDERED PLEASE

EP 2 (Do Not Open): - Hold up hold up is this coffin in episode two THE coffin??? - Like the one someone gets stuck in after the Unknowing??? I want to say Daisy but I might be wrong. - Because if so that continuity is -chefs kiss-

EP 3 (Across the Street): - But wait if he has to watch the table why the fuck is he taking night classes

EP 4 (Page Turner): Statement Giver: I found a book Me: okay so this is the Leitner origin episode okay Ep 4: my friend Michael Crew Me, literally almost spitting out my water: LIGHTNING MAN???? Ep 4: Mary Keay- Me: AND THE KEAYS?????

EP 5 (Thrown Away): love how this dude had his buddy vanish and all he found was a metal heart with his name carved on it and was just like "eh I'll give it to my pal that can access a furnace so they can just melt it" like HUH

EP 6 (Squirm): - this dude is a sleazeball i hope he gets eaten by worms - "This story is concerning" YEAH NO SHIT, JON - Oh Shit Jane Prentiss name drop

Ep 7 (The Piper): - music means you die got it - ngl i forgot what happened in this one i wrote nothing for it lmao there is a War

EP 8 (Burned Out): -  HILLTOP ROAD HILLTOP ROAD THAT'S IMPORTANT RIGHT - "all the bones are in his hands" michael??? with him weird yaoi hands??? - AGNES - oh shit is this the box that fits in the table

EP 9 (A Father's Love): - i know julia kidnaps jon eventually and she's bad HOWEVER she's baby - "hey dad sorry to interrupt your weird ritual or whatever but a monster just broke the front door"

EP 10 (Vampire Killer): - OH TREVOR SWEET - wow he really just walked into this building and was like "i killed five people lmao" - oh awesome! we love describing tongues! disgusting! - !!! elias namedrop - wait he died isn’t he alive later

EP 11 (Dreamer): - oh gertrude?

EP 12 (First Aid): - "he had long black hair" You again? Gerry please take a nap or something - Gerry gives off strong "this may as well happen" energy - Just the image of this goth man covered in burns just waking up, walking to a closet, grabbing a scalpel, stabbing a man who turns to ash and then going back to sleep is quite literally THE funniest thing ever

EP 13 (Alone): me: okay time for episode 13 a new person: speaks me: what the fuck

statement giver: evan LUKAS me, a dumbass: okay me, later: alone lukas alone lukas WAIT

EP 14 (Piecemeal): - this dude is so mean and for what - bye bye fingies

EP 15 (Lost John's Cave): - caving diving ep fucked me uppppp - shit is terrifying

EP 16 (Arachnophobia): - @ Jon how is being covered in spider webs after ONE WEEK a normal occurance

EP 17 (The Boneturner's Tale): - Mike Crew Name drop #2 AND Elias speaking? Damn - Ah shit Leitner Alert - oh shit this dude just broke into the library rude

EP 18 (The Man Upstairs): - Hey! Meat episode! Fucking! Unnecessary!

EP 19+20 (Confession I + Desecrated Host II): - i could hear my brain trying to keep all the shit in these episodes straight - not my fave y’all too many places hurt my brain

EP 21 (Freefall): - Simon Fairchild Time I guess - was there a single fact about this story that was real lmaoooo - WORM TIME WORM TIME

EP 22 (Colony): - M A R T I N my poor baby

EP 23 (Schwartzwald): - Gerard really got to stick himself in every story huh smh main character looking ass

EP 24 (Strange Music):

Statement Giver: I'm not scared of clowns Me: here we go Statement Giver: Nikolai- Me: YUP, HERE WE GO

EP 25 (Growing Dark): - if it's a dark episode without my queen julia I don't want it

#magnus archives #the magnus archives