#this is straight up word vomit

[sleepy-moron]

Super messy kingdom hearts feelings

Riku is genuinely one of my favorite characters in any piece of media full stop, and it’s really hard for most people to understand why I love him so much. To a lot of people who only really played kh 1 and 2, Riku is just a kind of generic rival character, and for a lot of fans of the whole series he’s one of the best characters in the franchise but nothing particularly special in the grand scheme of all media ever.

I think understanding that Riku is deeply in love with Sora is essential to understanding what makes Riku such a wonderful character. There is so much more to him as a character, but his primary motivation has always been deeply intertwined with his love for Sora, and that’s not something you can ignore.

Riku speaks to a very specific experience that most people probably have not had, but if you do relate to it he becomes so special and important. So I’ve got to get a bit personal here to properly articulate what I mean.

When I was younger, I was best friends with one of my neighbors. We had been friends for years and spent a lot of time with each other. Then, a new kid our age moved into the neighborhood, and my best friend was suddenly spending all their time with another person. I had a lot of very strong feelings about this, to the point I would feel physically sick from it all. I didn’t understand what I was feeling or why I felt it so strongly, I just knew it hurt and I hated it.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that I am very much not straight and had a massive crush on my best friend when all this was happening. I was jealous, sad, angry, guilty, and legitimately disgusted with myself and my friend. Our friendship was never really the same after that. On top of all this I was also dealing with undiagnosed mental illness as a kid, so I was basically just an emotional wreck pretending everything was normal for a few years.

I also watched my dad and brother play a lot of kingdom hearts as a young kid. I didn’t really understand the games but I was entranced by them despite this. Flash forward quite a few years to right before kh3 came out, and I decided to start watching people play through all the games so I could actually understand what the story was. I had by this point mostly finished having a sexuality crisis and was starting to deal with the unaddressed feelings I still kept locked up.

And then I got to see Riku in all his messy emotional gay coded glory, and it just resonated with me in a way I didn’t know I wanted or needed. Watching this kid feel all these messy and ugly things that he couldn’t really understand and lashing out because of it, to get to see him atone for his mistakes and begin the long journey to not only forgive himself but also accept himself and all the things he felt, it was just so emotionally significant for me. I had never really thought about what it would be like to see this part of my life reflected by a character, but once I had it I was just overwhelmed with how strongly I connected to the Mickey Mouse anime games.

I finally had the time to watch the 6 hour Riku is gay and why it matters video the other day, and it emotionally destroyed me all over again. I don’t think I’ll ever really stop being emotional about Riku, sometimes you just consume a piece of media at the right time and it just stays with you forever. That’s really why he’s so special to me, I happened to get to fully see his character at the right time for him to be so important to me in a way very few characters are.

#Merlin yells about kingdom hearts #soriku #(well soriku is implied…sorta) #listen I was in my feelings and have not proofread this #this is just straight up unfiltered word vomit about my special little guy #riku kingdom hearts

[sfsolstice]

I'm having wicked dreams Of leaving Tennessee Oh, Santa Monica I swear it's calling me

#chappell roan #pink pony club #the rise and fall of a midwest princess #Spotify #solstice shares #🎵 #i decided to take a writing break (was sorta word vomiting anyway) and pick this album back up so i skip to pink pony club #bc everyone ive asked said that this was their fav #tell me why im crying rn ??????? like straight up sobbing #im gonna keep dancing at the pink pony club ! :''''))) #i really needed this song tn

[pxme-granate]

when jupiter took emmett, he probably saw the surface level stuff first, right? all the recent events and feelings associated with him. he saw all the moments where morrigan was crying into his fur, all alone. how emmett was one of the only real sources of comfort morrigan ever got. maybe he saw how emmett was ripped away from her, either by kids who didn’t like her (and would later blame her for whatever injustice they faced next) or by house staff who were trying to clean her stuff, with little regard to how morrigan felt or what she needed. the grief she felt when his tail fell off in the wash, or when his waistcoat was lost, and the way her grief was treated as trivial and burdensome.

he saw how morrigan slowly drew herself inward, how all of her emotions—her heartache and distress—were poured into emmett instead to her family, where she should’ve been comforted by people who cared about her. how she made herself small.

#nevermoor #jupiter north #morrigan crow #also do you think when jupiter saw the grief attached to emmett. he straight up punched corvus. bc i do #IK IT PROBABLY DIDNT HAPPEN BUT IT MAKES ME HAPPY #that’s why he was so flakey when he was telling mog what he did!!! #not bc he was admitting to crim but bc he was avoiding the fact that he KOed her dad. this is fact #crime* #word vomit #i’m drawing smth with emmett and it’s got me think shaking crying etc

[pinkspiraling]

intro post 🫧

tw / depression, sh, anxiety, suicide, substance abuse, ed | this is a vent blog. i do not promote or encourage any of my behavior! block don’t report! this is my safe space, please don’t take that away.

i don’t post th1nsp0, tips, meanspo etc. i don’t post about my ed often, but if i do i tag all my ed posts with tws. <333 i currently post depressing shitty vents lol. i talk a lot about suicidal thoughts and drinking/drugs so pls be cautious.

i don’t mind spamming :) but i’m bad at following back so if i don’t feel free to dm/ask me and i will!

about me: i love hello kitty, vodka, twilight, the marauders, pink, body modification, horror movies, frozen, and lots of music. i’m always open to making new friends!!! i’m 22 so pls only dm me if ur 18+

#explanation of my tags: #pink never shuts up #<boring ramble stuff about my life #pink’s word vomiting #<venting or stuff that comes straight from my brain #usually more depressed or anxious stuff #pink put the drugs down! #<posts when i’m high or talking about drugs #pink put the bottle down! #<drunk posts or posts about alcohol #too real and now my tummy hurts #<posts that hit me so hard i need ten minutes to process #pinky promise i’ll answer #<asks #loud evil roommates who throw away my soul #<complaining about my roommates i do it often

[minamotoz]

the boy meets world writers creating the most heartbreaking narrative about growing up queer and closeted in 90's you've ever seen (it is entirely through subtext and poorly aged, sorta problematic jokes)

#boy meets world #im sorry im in my shory brainrot era again #i know i literally Never post abt BMW but i cannot stop thinking about this genuinely #i rewatched 4x12 aka the gayest episode and my brain is about to Explode #'its only natural' 'sure......natural' UR JOKING??????????????? #theyre so miserable bc of their own comphet yet they just. accept the fact that 'its always been this way and it'll always be this way' #they both long for normalcy and acceptance and they think that being straight is the only way to achieve that HELLO CAN ANYONE HEAR M #like. cory chasing the white picket fence nuclear family fantasy with topanga and shawn chasing what cory and topanga have #bc theyre the most stable parts of his life #and so much of corys interest in girls is entirely reliant on keeping up with shawn #he starts crushing on girls bc shawn does. he starts dating girls bc shawn does. he wants to have sex w topanga bc he thinks shawns done it #FUCKING 'i always thought topanga was the one person i could live without but shes gone and uoure here and im alive so it must be you' #ARE UOU KIDDING ME #*couldnt #im sorry im judt word vomitting i just feel. Insane #this show and this ship make me go a bit cookoo bananas

[keirawantstocry]

the difference between the qsmp doom posting and the hype for new ts album on my dash is hilarious

#jay word vomits #straight up roller coaster of emotions #oh the admiins :( #TAYLOR SWIFT! !!! !

[mainfaggot]

between noon and like 4 pm I was getting this unshakeable feeling: everything is so nothing. to elaborate, the paradoxical nature of my very existence makes me want to die die die die die die die die die because well there are so many things happening everywhere all the time but nothing matters. let me rephrase: everything matters to an insane degree, but when it comes down to my very specific life, nothing matters in a way that matters. again, I mean: sure, actions have consequences and thoughts, emotions, and behaviours feed off each other and yes, the ripple effect or whatever the fuck but. ! but. !!!! so long as it's my life. none of that means anything. I could die tomorrow I could die in 30 seconds I could die in 5-10 business days. i hurt my mother my whole life and I was also a bad younger sibling but I was a try hard of an older sibling and I was also a good student sometimes. but who gives a shit. i don't. I don't. I do only when it means I might hurt someone else. but what about me? it's always about me but it's never about me. it's always about what I'm doing and how that affects people but never about where the fuck im going with any of this and how the hell I'll get used to it (living when everything is nothing)

#haha hehe this is straight up word vomit it lacks coherence and it is not meant to be poetic or deep it's just how i feel! #z.post

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread  

Tears in the Water

NA contemporary slice of life romance about a competitive swimmer with anxiety at a sports university

they start seriously questioning their gender when they make some new friends and start dating a trans volleyball player

queer friend groups, aspec characters

#Tears in the Water #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #trans books #nonbinary books #asexual books #i enjoyed this overall! #a good slice of life with lots of gender feelings #a few nitpicks: #there were a lot of like….jumping STRAIGHT into 3 paragraph dialogue about feelings about gender or sexuality or anxiety with no breaks #which like isn’t inherently bad I just think there could have been more of a lead up/build a lot of the times to make it feel more like a na #natural conversation #(the occasional word-vomit-monologue is fine but this was like. all the time) #re: the aroace side character; he’s ace and questioning if he’s aro and we mostly see that through the lens of negativity; #or he’s talking about his feelings as if it’s a negative thing to the MC and the MC is like telling him he’s probably aro and it’s valid #I guess there is an important space for aros who don’t want to be aro coming to terms with it (and he is happier about it by the end!) #i just don’t relate lmao i’ve never wanted to be allo. lmao. #i think something felt just slightly off about how it was written and discussed? maybe more the fact that it was through the MCs eyes more t #than anything #and also shoved into one chapter rather than. spaced out a bit idk #(also I don’t understand knowing you’re ace but not really knowing anything about being aro? but i guess that is also probably something #people experience irl) #(anyway; not a ‘this is bad representation’ criticism just a ‘could have been slightly better’ one)

[ikemenomegas]

Sun Moon and Stars imagery for getou, myy.oc and gojo but it's.... actually eldritch and incomprehensible

by which i means getou looks nice on the outside but he's only "actually" nice if you catch him on a good day, he's got the theatrical sensibilities of a noh play but his face is the mask, get too close and you risk being consumed in a not-nice way, charismatic enough to get others to orbit him but they can only get so close/far before everything is thrown off balance

moon oc who's just kind of alien and distant and sometimes you forget they're there and sometimes they're all you can see, will listen to all of your secrets and dreams and never tell a soul but kind of doesn't know what tf to do with that, it may look like they're casting light of their own and then you remember it's just a reflection of something else and now it's kind of weird

and stars gojo, gives directions but never really lights the way, looks close enough to touch but is so far away you're never seeing what's actually happening, people assign a lot more meaning to these things that actually says a lot more about you than them, they have no perspective on what you're saying but may interact with the world from time to time. i've heard stars describes as watchers. if you stand open armed under a sky full of them and imagine each one as a twinkling eye... you're braver than I am

#io.myy #from the margins #jjk #gojo satoru #getou suguru #just some fun #eldritch and incomprehensible is actually just a descriptor of this post #as in I love the idea that refined enough sorcerers just become too weird for normal people and almost too weird for each other #and this post is just straight up incomprehensible word vomit #io shitposts

[azol-otl]

Not Reverse Robins or Scrambled Birds but a secret third thing: A Step to the Left.

Not  Dick > Jason > Tim > Steph > Damian, 

but Jason > Tim > Steph > Damian > Dick*.

But not only them. Every sidekick with a legacy name gets shifted one spot. (No I’m not counting the Golden Age because I’m not combing through that ).

This means that Jason’s Titans team is him, Mia (Speedy), Jackson (Aqualad), Cassie (Wonder Girl), and Bart (Impulse but y’know he was KF II in the comics).

The NTT team including Starfire, Changeling, Raven, and Cyborg stays the same since they’re the only ones with those names. Cass gets lumped in here because Jason actually wants to do college/is becoming disillusioned about cape life and the idea of Kori learning Cass's body language is too good to pass up.

Tim gets one (1) cape friend (because Jason only got one) and it’s Zachary Zatara because it has to be a d-lister who deals with that disaster Teen Titans era.

Stephanie gets Jon (Superboy), Yara (Wonder Girl II now), and Irey (Because guess what it’s Impulse on the team and not KF which means we get Impulse II). Secret, Cissie, Anita, Slobo etc. all stay the same.

Damian doesn’t get anyone until he becomes Batgirl.

Duke literally gets Damian’s exact canon team but it’s Kon instead of Jon and probably won’t end with them committing war crimes.

If the character in that placement dies in canon then the new character in that placement also dies (i.e. Jason dies so Tim will die/ Kon dies so Jon will die).

But there will be changes because these are different characters so not all of them would react the same.

For example, Jason and Cass are the first Robin and Batgirl, but Cass becomes Nightwing while Jason becomes Oracle because I feel like Jason generally fits Barbara’s character better than Cass does (which is a fucking shame because Oracle being someone named Cassandra should be a no brainer but yeah).

 Or how Barbara should be Batgirl number three, but it’s actually Damian because Cass would see their similarities between them and offer him Batgirl (which he refuses at first but after his disastrous run as Robin he sees how Batgirl would fit his strengths better).

 Also I refuse to believe that Jason and Cass would let Dick out as Robin so young so he’s benched until later and his place is taken up by Duke and instead of Leviathan it’s Gnomon.

#I actually have a lot of thoughts about this but I didn't want to word vomit it all up like I normally do #No lie Damian becoming Batgirl III was not planned but because it started off with Cass it honestly felt right #So now him and Stephanie parallel each other so much more than I planned with the whole 3 identities cycle of Original > R > BG> OG #Also Robins 1 3 and 5 (the ones who were actually focused on for a time) are all Gotham natives with strong ties to the people #So that feels right #Also also Mia and Jason both being on the same team and having similar traumas while comics were finally starting to tackle these things #Tim has to deal with all the shit Jason did including starting off as a Blonde Jason clone (hey Timmy Todd) #Being victim blamed for his death for nearly 20 years and brought back as a villain #Then left with writers who hate him and made him ugly *and* stupid #then left with Lobdell and having the fans of his teammates blame him and his fans for things that they had no control over #other notes I didn't put in include Cass's cover is that she's Jason's cousin via Willis who was adopted and it turns out to be true #Stephanie 'Ambiguously Gay' Brown with her team full of Women who can crush her like a bug #Cass 'Are you sure she's straight' Wayne and her Gal Pal Koriand'r #Jason and Bart's wild 50 years where they surprise everyone including the writers and editors #since none of their love interests stuck but the chemistry they had with each other was off the charts #so their friendship read more as a slow-burn annoyances to friends to lovers that was totally on purpose guys and became canon p52 #like right before the reboot because the writer was like "Fuck it we're rebooting anyways! #if you feel like it's unfair that Tim and Damian gets no friends remember that I didn't shift teams at all only the people in them #so they get dealt Jason and Stephanie's canon hands #Don't come at me with 'uhm Robin is DICK'S nam'e' that retcon happened 50 years after the character #I can do the exact same with any character #great another essay in the tags #azol's posts

[deityforged]

It is very emotionally draining when all you want to do is go out and socialize and all your bf wants to do is go home and relax because that is not what I want to do with my free time

#out of character. #goddd #sorry for just word fucking vomiting on the dash #my bf just wants me to come over on Sunday and I’m like #how is the best way to tell you I just straight up don’t want to.

[yoistars]

god i love people !!! i love it when people memorize my favorite songs and i love it when i play taylor swift in the car and my family just groans but they sing along anyways and i love it when im reassured and told i'll be okay and that i'm loved and i love knowing that i'm loved !!!! i love how i know love exists because of how i love other people !!!!!! i love how everyone i've met truly is a good and kind person and i love how no matter who i meet or what happens to me i will stay grounded in that belief of mine

#（ꈍ ꈍ） – shut up addie ! #to love is to be happy you know? #i don't think ive ever been this happy with myself actually #i almost let the scary thoughts win last night and that was really. yknow scary but im glad that happened in a way #the road to happiness isn't straight #it's bumpy and curvy #to be truly happy is to be truly sad #i was thinking about someone i used to know and about how they really hurt me but i don't think i can bring myself to be angry at them #they were a kid once too. i mean they still are a kid technically #it's his first time being alive too i shouldn't be too upset #well i'm angry for what he did to my friends but not to me i guess i should say #and even with like hate anon i don't know what caused them to be so angry at me so i shouldn't be so angry at them #i don't know what's going on in their personal life #maybe they just needed an outlet and i'm more than happy to be that outlet for anybody #but to be that negative is going to harm yourself one way or another #ough wow sorry for the word vomit #i just really like people :)

[morganupstead]

Luce, my little fragile emotional Upstead heart can't take the photo dump. Like I am literally throwing every ounce of effort into not bursting into tears right now.

I simultaneously love and hate it. Too many feelings to feel.

my gut reaction is literally: JUST LOOK AT HIM. NO SERIOUSLY JUST STOP AND LOOK AT HIS GORGEOUS FACE.

I was thinking literally yesterday how it's been so freaking quiet and that felt a little unusual, and now I'm regretting that because if Luce and Jesse just decided last week to post here and there I think I would be able to digest this a little easier. Because right now I'm 5 seconds from completely freaking out and flipping my lid over black and white photos of a man who has quite literally never looked more happy and engaged in his work and glowing with life.

*meanwhile im still over in my head mourning over bad writing of fictional characters and MR DIRECTOR IS JUST LIVING HIS FUCKING BEST LIFE WITH HIS BEST FRIENDS TRACEL AND LUCE*

*maybe this is a sign of some kind, feel free to psycho analyze it for me*

#this needed to get out of my head so this word vomit is me straight up on the struggle bus #i have never been more fragile over a show ever so the fact that I'm not crying should be progress for me after the last 6 months #you can ignore the word vomit if you need #upstead

[sucksahoy]

can  i  just  say  how  utterly  disappointing  it  is  that  everyone  around  robin  is  rekindling  their  relationships  but  the  duffer  brothers  gave  robin  .03  seconds  with  the  “ love  interest ”  they’d  gone  out  of  their  way  to  tell  us  existed ?

#「 ♀ 」 » MOX ↳ aѕĸ мe aвoυт мy ғavorιтe crypтιd #like??? all the straight couples thrived #they even had will/mike moments that i'm convinced are building up #to will coming out or addressing it at the very least #but robin? #we got a halfsecond word vomit and didn't even get to see vicky out of her uniform #and i'm tired of lesbians being ignored

[utrh]

not to be preachy but maybe some of yall would be less miserable and drained from discourse if you let bisexuals exist in peace <33 erasing/ignoring characters' canon bisexuality, attacking ppl who hc an ambiguous character as bi, dismissing bi character's relationships w the opposite gender, applying gross stereotypes to bi characters, excluding bisexuality in discussions of rep....i could go on but you get it right you get how this behavior is pathetic and weird. like bi ppl should not be made to feel unwelcome to discuss bisexuality in media

#post #we're on a 24 hr bisexual lockdown idc if it gets annoying #straight up dont feel welcome/comfortable talking abt bisexuality online sometimes which is bullshit #so. bisexual word vomit from now on #bi tag

[impossibleheartflower]

Stained glass windows are made out of broken pieces of glass, technically they're glass pieces that were purposely cut to be that way but I always think that stained glass windows are even more beautiful when it's just broken glass that needs a little of repurposing. Y'know just taking a bunch of random broken glass with their own little story that just needs to not disappear but kinda just needs to be rearrange to be made into something gorgeous.

Stained glass windows by their nature find beauty in the broken, that's why I love them so much, when comparing people to stained glass windows the person typically has a lot of scars and their mental state kinda changes to try to adapt to scars but overall they are beautiful. They are perfect because of their flaws, because of scars, and because of their beautiful mind that had to change in order to survive, do you know why? It's because they are what makes them *them*. I want to know every part of them, the good the bad and the ugly, I want to get to know every scar, every bruise, I want to trace the map of scars and help them paint over the broken pieces but not to make it seem like the scars (both mental and physical) are not there but to make the pain just a little more bearable. I want to see how even after their mind falls apart that they still are able to put themselves back together because that kind of strength is amazing, resilience is amazing and I'll always admire it.

Scars are just a reminder of what we've been through. Scars might fade but they'll never go away and I don't like the fact that people had to go through that much pain in order to get those scars but the fact that they survived and decided to stay here in this is what I find beautiful. I like the little bit of lead that keeps the glass together because it's like when a person decides to heal and work on themselves, it's like say "hey! I'm still here regardless of the tragedies that has happened to me! All the broken pieces are still here but I've made them into something different, not good or bad but just different because I'm different" and I think that's remarkable.

The lead is what finalizes the transformation of just a pile of broken glass to a work of art and when comparing someone to stain glassed art the lead strips is them healing and chosing to not hurt anyone else the same way the have been hurt. Comparing someone to stained glass art is like saying "hey I might not know what's going on in your life or if your a good person or not but I would very much like to know because I think that your scars represent hope and strength, not destruction and pain, I just want to know you all of you"

You can help people with with broken bits and make them all pretty by helping them with the colors and whatnot but at the end of the day they have to put the lead strips to make the piece of art, when it comes down to it the other person has make the choice of forgiving or healing or whatever it is for them to change for the better because there is only so little that we can do. A part of making stained glass art is that it's a long (and expensive) process much like healing from trauma but in the end it's still breathtaking and peaceful

I mean when you look at a stained glass window don't you just have a sudden urge to admire it? To study every inch? Or at the very least just be able to see what the final product is? It's amazing and I love them

#bro i am straight up yapping here #this is like word vomit and I don't know if it's repetitive or not very easy to read but i hope you like it #i normally am allergic to good vibes but i got an EpiPen with me so it's all good 🤙 #would this count as bittersweet??? #i was inspired by billy russo for this piece btw 😭 (y'know like after he gets his face all fucked up and goes to therapy) #but this also makes me think of someone else that I'm talking to #ummm anyways cherish your friends and loved ones because thats apparently a privilege that most don't have currently in the world we live i #inner peace #stained glass #stained glass art #sorry for the fucked up grammar