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compressedrage · 11 days

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*barges in* Your Hollow Head Siblings hc's, hand 'em over!!!! 🔫

(But fr, gotta love your thoughs, they're neat and scratch my brain juuuust right!!!)

YOU HAVE OPENED THE FLOOD GATES MY ANONYMOUS FRIEND

Keep in mind I am very tired rn so this will likely be very unpolished okay here we go–

The order of age goes Victim Chosen Dark Orange, we all know this, but I think for a long time Dark thought he and Chosen were a lot closer in age than they actually were. Chosen had to warm up to telling Dark about all the horrible things he went through, and that included the fact that he was alone for four years. (it's four years right? it might be five. I can't be bothered to look it up rn, its fine)

In between the Showdown and Wanted Orange is starting to think of Chosen as an older brother. He connected the dots to figure out that Chosen was also made by Alan and he saved them! He's so cool! This idea was only a little bit shattered when this older brother figure barged into the PC and kidnapped him and promptly got them both captured. But honestly what are older siblings for.

In canon Chosen does not let himself feel emotions enough for him to see Orange as a little brother, but the connection is there. He'll come around :)

SPEAKING OF CONNECTIONS– I recently had this idea that the Hollowheads had some sort of empathy-telepathy with each other. For example, one normal day out in the Outernet Chosen feels the exact moment Orange was created. He doesn't know what that feeling meant, and he never felt it again. Orange felt drawn to this new stick figure who saved their lives, and immediately follows him through the portal. Chosen felt something snap in his chest the moment Dark died. Orange and Victim lock eyes for a moment in the Box and feel something click. None of them talk about it, but it's there.

(that last one might qualify as an AU, who knows maybe I'll do something with it)

This one is more of a wish than a headcanon– Chosen takes Orange under his wing at some point, teaching him how to use his powers as best he can. However, since Orange's powers are rather different from Chosen's, it just results in a chaotic sparring session and setting a field on fire. The CG are not amused by the amount of bruises Orange gets, but Orange is having an absolute blast.

Orange is Chosen's "Second Coming"– surely that comes with consequences. I saw a hc where they shared portions of code and I liked that; something like Orange and Chosen have similar tastes in foods. Their eyes shine the same way when they smile. Sometimes they accidentally speak in unison because they each had the exact same thought. When stuff gets serious, they both narrow their eyes and make an expression that promises pain on their enemies.

Dark would be the best big brother and let me tell you why. Orange is often left with the Braincell of the CG. Have you seen how stressed this boy gets. He gets premonitions of his friends getting hurt. Dark allows him to mess around a bit more, in a "We might get in trouble, isn't that fun!!" kind of way. Orange has always had a chaotic streak, it just takes certain circumstances for him to tap into it. They would be able to get Red back for his pranking.

Orange would teach Chosen and Dark all about modern video games. They know video games, sure, they destroyed Angry Birds. But I think playing Minecraft would solve both of their problems. At least a lot of them.

I don't have many headcanons for Victim, I just haven't seen enough of him to get a solid enough foundation to make headcanons, but as an oldest child I can relate to him on a spiritual level. He may be gray now but with those three as younger siblings he's gonna get a whole lot grayer.

Gosh I love them so much, a house with all four Hollowheads would be the most chaotic house ever. Victim– the eldest with an actual job, no nonsense, the less-than-respected Holder of the Braincell. Since he is out of the house a lot because of Job, the responsibility falls to Chosen– older middle child, delinquent, failure of a cook and the only one Dark will listen to. Speaking of Dark– younger middle child, Chaos Incarnate, fellow delinquent and Escape Artist Extraordinaire, he is a terrible influence on the youngest– Orange. Orange is the black sheep of the family in that he is actually rather emotionally stable. He's in school, has friends, hobbies– his brothers just a bit jealous but supportive anyway. He also helps Dark prank the others; he's got great aim with water balloon catapults.

I cannot impress upon you enough how much they love each other. Their lives have been filled with isolation, suffering, rejection– but now they've found family in likewise people. None of them are alone anymore. Sure, Orange wasn't really alone to begin with, but surely he noticed how different he was from RYGB. He's not replacing them, not for a million dollars, but it is nice to have brothers who are similar to you.

#WOOO this was long!#I love these dorks so so much #this was fun #I really should write some more for them they have so much potential #if there are typos in this I will get to them in the morning #*tosses this at anon and falls back into bed*#alan becker #animator vs animation #rage's ramblings about sticks #thanks for the ask btw #it was a lot of fun <3 #stick figure headcanons

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jester-dragons-aus · 5 months

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Horror House AU

Hehe Horror House returns(I had found only one piece of paper and I ended up drawing this)

When the world building comes out of nowhere/silly

[WARNING: BLOOD, GORE, BODY HORROR, OVER EXAGGERATED FEATURES, CENTIPEDE, IMPLIED DISMEMBERMENT]

Art and stuff under cut

[Note: certain few, who use VR instead of PC or Console, will be sucked into the game. Those who play with PC or Console will have a body substituted with a mannequin and will not be sucked into the game.]

Basically, the newer you are to The House, the closer you are to being the first person a random player goes against as you don't know much about how the game works. You go against everyone else first before you do this though. You can't leave once you're sucked into the game.

Only one person can play this game at a time, there is only one thing that can play it after all. Don't wear the headset if you don't want to be sucked in.

Pomni goes first! She is the newest member, after all!

You need to keep away from her, may it be by running away or finding things to keep her away from you to keep her away. The farther you are from her, the more she'll need to exert herself to get to you. Once tired out, you figure out a way to get out of the area before she regains her energy again. She will wear herself out completely before she rests, falling to the floor and laying there for a relatively long time to regain her energy.

[Checkpoint]

Imagine Pomni going through everyone else's past this point.

Jax is here and is a force to be reckoned with, atleast from his perspective. He thinks he's gotten better than before.

His area is like a maze of hallways, doors, closets, and at the end, somewhere you can completely escape his area from. He walks through the hallways trying to find you, cracking open the doors of the messed up rooms to check inside(hide behind the doors or under any in-tact bed). He taps the closet doors as he walks past them(don't make any noise, he will open and it will be game over[respawn]). Once you get to the end hall, you will need to run. There are no doors or closets in the end hall, all you have to do is keep running forward until you reach the end. His big size compared to the end hall will make it hard for him to go full speed as he will keep hitting his shoulders and head on the roof. The exit to his 'level' is a door that is slowly going down the entire run through the end hallway, triggered by you, or him, stepping on something at the beginning of the end hall. You must slide under it at the end of the hall to escape. He will run into the door and pound on it in anger, trying to get to you, but it will be for naught as you have already beat his level.

[Checkpoint]

Next, Zooble, the interchangeable and unpredictable. Even if they are predictable with some patterns.

Their area is a large open space with one exit for you to escape. Above hangs many things that will be large objects, bodies and body parts, and scattered around the room are presumably more and random large objects to hide around. They are quite smart and quiet so be sure to listen for anything that could be them, like quiet huffs or half-shuffling steps. How you get out of the area is finding a lever or button or something to drop something heavy onto them without anything falling on yourself or being caught by them. Anything heavy enough falling on them will cause them to break, falling into pieces. Leave through the now opened exit before they put themselves together with whatever pieces they can find. Be fast.

[Checkpoint]

Gangle is next and she's the most timid of the group but don't let that fool you.

You are in a dark room with papers covered in drawings littering the floor and walls. Gangle is curled like a snake somewhere where you can see her but it's just dark enough to where you can't see her face. She will kindly approach you with her comedy mask seemingly glued together and ask you to help her with a drawing or some writing[this won't be important to the main game]. If you don't break her comedy mask, good for you! You got to go free easy! If you did, there is a sad mask underneath in a darker shade than the comedy mask, also seemingly glued together, and the comedy mask is hanging to it with strange threads of something you can't identify. Her sad mask is more "hostile" so to say and she asks you to help her with something else which is more deadly to you. She sobs every time she speaks, shaking while she slithers around. If you survive what she asked of you and don't break her sad mask, good for you! You get to leave with only the trauma of her sad mask! If you survive but break her sad mask... You must run and find something to trap her. Under her sad mask is a distraught and fearful mask that screeches loudly as if in pain once the sad mask was broken, still hanging to that mask with the comedy mask still hanging to it in the same way. Once her sad mask is broken, she slithers into the dark with that for mentioned screech and that is your cue to run and find something to trap her in, like a heavy box or a deep hole in the ground, which there is right in front of the exit with just enough room between the end of the level and the door for you to walk around the hole and leave once she falls in with a perfectly timed side-step.

[Checkpoint]

Ah yes, our beloved blind ragdoll, Ragatha! One of the sweetest!

Once in her domain, it's a lovely, relatively large, store-looking place, with spiderwebs in the corners and dust everywhere as if it isn't cared for despite Ragatha's attempts to clean her area. A small bell, upon entering, will ring and notify her of your presence and she will welcome you with kindness. If you are polite in return, she will help lead you to the exit and open it for you, but she won't be able to come with you. If you treat her rudely, she will turn to violence and try to find you. Be quiet and find the code for the door, tucking around corners silently to avoid her if she comes near. Once you find the code, you must make your way to the door without notifying her where you are even once and avoiding her if she comes near. Once you put the code in to the end door, you can leave the area and continue on your way.

[Checkpoint]

Kinger, the largest but probably the easiest to get past if your quiet, is second to last, everyone!

Do not wake him up. His area is a large fortress made of old, hole filled wood pillars, old, torn blankets and pillows, and partially stone walls. There are many large bugs, mostly centipedes about the size of an average 10 year old, crawling around the area, never crawling into your path for more than a few seconds. Make sure you don't step on them, you don't want to make the king angry. Once you enter this decrepit castle, it is mostly empty aside from this 50 foot long centipede-chess piece curled up and sleeping soundly. If you step on any of the bugs that might crawl in your path or if you touch him even slightly, he will wake up and you can't escape as he kills you[respawn]. Don't step on any of the bugs and don't touch him and you're home free, there's the exit on the complete opposite side of him from the entrance to his impenetrable fortress.

[Checkpoint]

I bet you guys weren't expecting Caine of all people to be the final boss, right? I bet you guessed from Kinger's introduction! Well here he is!

He will never change, no matter who comes and goes before him. He is the owner of this terrifying territory, after all! The ringmaster, if it were a Circus! He stands in the center of a large, dark, dully colored yet very colorful room, inside a ring. This room looks most Circus like, like the inside of a tent. You don't have to defeat Caine, really, just beat his "pets." The abstractions. To those who have been in The House for a long time, they sadly know how these terrifying creatures came to be. Not fully code, but once human like the majority of them were gone mad and lost every bit of their mind! The older beasts are larger than the newer ones, so you can tell who's been there the longest. Unbeknownst to you, Caine is definitely going easy on you, only using the newer abstractions, as they are not very well at their job: ending you. You just have to run past everything and get to the last door, an end for the ones who didn't get sucked into this world, or a void for the ones who did.

[End] [Checkpoint]

OK THATS IT!

I am so sorry that one was so long but I really got sucked into writing this. I hope y'all enjoyed what y'all read if you read it all! I hope some of y'all also saw some references I made to other horror games I like playing or watching, like Doors or Little Nightmares(1+2)!

I really enjoyed writing this but this was all in one sitting, on mobile, and I don't know how to word things right sometimes or even spell some words correctly so some things might look weird. Yes, English is my first language but I am still not good at it despite graduating Highschool last year.

I put more effort into this than any writing assignments I got in school anyways all cuz I had a random paper and drew these goofs again after so long of only being able to draw on mobile.

#the amazing digital circus #tadc caine #tadc kinger #tadc #tadc jax #tadc pomni #tadc ragatha #tadc gangle #tadc zooble #tadc horror house au #tw horror #tw body horror #tw bugs #tw character death #tw implied death #tw dismemberment #horror games

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propertyofkylar · 7 months

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what about about streamer/content creator pc? it's a good way to pay the rent and get income. they play games, dance, sing...robin is one of their first fan, and a certain stalker keeps donating

what if they do roleplay asmr for their fans, like "being on a date with your lover" or "sleepover with your childhood crush"

ooo i love this!! i think vrel has said on blogspot he wants to implement something like this. it makes so much sense!! that’s prob in a more lewd way than we’re talking here tho ehehehe

i really like this hehe will share thoughts below

robin def is the first to subscribe though they can't really afford to throw you any money at the time. loves supporting you and is always happy to help out with a stream and play games with you!

you block the nasty comments people leave about them though...

avery sends you big amounts of money but you have to wear what they buy you. it’s nothing weird but it is really expensive and fancy clothing. they watch and enjoy knowing that you’re wearing what they got you. also respects the side hustle from a business perspective

whitney watches in secret and thinks about how lucrative it would be if you engaged in a different type of streaming...but really enjoys just watching you have fun. totally doesn’t put on your asmr videos every night to fall asleep, shut up slut!!

of course kylar is donating a lot of money (don’t ask where they got it from). leaves tons of adoring comments. tries to make it anonymous but it’s so obviously them bc their username is like PCsTrueLove or something. likes watching you but gets angry whenever someone else comments on your looks. has been kicked several times for threatening comments. offers you even more money to give it up entirely

if still pure, sydney watches to support much like robin and gets so flustered if you do asmr, feels conflicted about watching them. if corrupt, will ask if they can go down on you while you’re live. but know if you say yes kylar WILL know so watch out…

alex doesn’t have much time to watch you stream but tries to support you. also really enjoys the asmr roleplays but wishes you were at the farm with them instead. just thinking horny thoughts the whole time too.

fucking. does eden even have internet connection out in the forest? definitely wouldn’t understand what streaming is even if they did. worries about the unsavory people watching and wishes you would just stay in the cabin with them and be their spouse. you don’t need to do that extra work when they’re here to take care of you!

#degrees of lewdity #dol #never done stuff for all the LIs like this before. it was fun!! send more like this!!!#nica's headcanons #writing

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plottwiststudios · 4 months

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Women of Xal II Kickstarter: Delayed?

Hey, have you heard of the overly ambitious visual novel titled "Women of Xal" for Steam and Itch.io? (PC/Mac/Linux) Because that plays into why we might need to shelf the series for a few years. Full breakdown under the cut. (No spoilers)

For those who have gotten the True Ending, you should be fully aware that the story is about to vastly expand outside of Xuna's castle. It's a narrative must where everything that happens, happens well outside the scope of the original game in so many ways. And let's talk about scope! Especially if you have no idea what's so staggering about the original Women of Xal visual novel:

600+ optional choices we painstakingly programmed

Branching paths that people are still asking for guides on

A dozen romance options

Poly and gay options that interact with one another

Voice acting from now VERY popular voice actors

A 15 hour story full of mystery, lore, and tense politics

110 track soundtrack

4 Endings

Animations

Thousands of art assets (Bless Cat)

Years of hard work and long nights

No AI Art

100% positive reviews as of this post

Recouped $6000+, or roughly a fraction of the cost of development. After 2+ years of being released

Note that very last bullet point. Doing things for the art and passion is amazing and all, but I can't be investing literal thousands of hours into creating a game for a subset of a subset of a subset of people. I have bigger projects I want to finally get to work on. Ones I really hoped Women of Xal I would help a bit with funding. But it's not. And because of certain facts about the game, it may never be able to do so. To no fault of any of the players.

When I made Women of Xal I, my time was more readily available and I was quite a bit younger. The cost of running a company and creating a game like WoX as the first product hadn't quite hit me. I was also silly enough to believe "if you make it, they will come" to a degree. That part makes me grin in a not fun way.

But these days I have a job that takes me away from creating, but does pay the bills and debts. Debts I don't want to get into again in order to create the sequel that will undoubtedly come with far higher costs due to the game's scope. I have a better understanding of the costs of hiring returning and appropriate talent necessary to create a game better than the last. (I don't personally believe in being satisfied with an intentional steep downgrade.)

Yes there is the Kickstarter option for Women of Xal II, but there are plenty of costs and time investment that makes it an unviable avenue to explore during this point in time. After all, who but the people who sat down and explored everything the first game had to offer would understand how we came up with a $50,000 Kickstarter price tag for a visual novel's sequel? Especially since too many will look at the first Kickstarter and believe we made the first game with only $14,000.

I have thought about giving Women of Xal I a modernized facelift with a smaller Kickstarter, complete with a ton of new features and fun ways to streamline and highlight the narration's strong points, but there's a LOT of baggage that comes with that, including not wanting to go backwards when I still want to create my "pipe dream" projects.

So I'm thinking we'll give it a bit more thought these next few days, and if we can't think of a solution that we haven't already tried, we'll officially announce the delay (and before you suggest your own ideas, know that there's a 99% chance we've already tried it).

A long, long post just to say I do sincerely apologize for having people wait longer, but I am literally still a few thousand dollars away from paying off all my debt that came from funding the first game. It's a micro-trauma I do not feel inclined to repeating again. When the franchise is in a better place, or I am emotionally/physically, I will return back to Women of Xal to finish the story. If I cannot, I will release a summary of events that transpire after the first game's true ending.

But for now, I'm going to focus on financial and emotional healing, and creating projects that I feel will be more appreciated by both myself and people who are turned off by what "Women of Xal" offers.

Thank you all for supporting our small company these past several years. <3

-John

#Women of Xal #Visual Novel #dating sim #indie game #gaming

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not-salty-pckls · 10 months

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Hobie Brown Headcannons because WHY THE FUCK NOT

uhh i made this on my computer so get ready for a hell of an hc dump

SFW:

If he lived in modern times, he would buy everything offbrand. Clothes, snacks, products, etc. (bro i need someone to draw hobie wearing shaqs, using a Michaelsoft Binbows PC, and eating creme betweens LMAO)

Would have a messy ass space, but never organize it because "it's easier to find things" or something like that.

(if he was dating you) If you weren't into punk music, he'd gradually get you into it by slowly giving you heavier songs to listen to. (hed probably start you off with blitzkrieg bop or smth)

HE WOULD GET ABSOLUTELY FLABBERGASTED WHEN SHOWN MODERN TECHNOLOGY. Like, if you placed a phone in front of him, he'd be like: "Woah, mate, this thing is amazin'!" LOL

(music related) He'd be on Blur's side in the Battle Of Britpop but he'd say Oasis to piss people off and get on their nerves

(if he was dating you): He'd steal little things from you, including jewelry, vinyls, books, pins, clothes, etc. and if you asked him where they were he'd act clueless

(if he was dating you): He wouldn't be jealous, like hes not insecure lol. He'd be ok with a lot of stuff actually

Owns a shit ton of posters, and you can't convince me otherwise.

HE FOLLOWS THE PUNK LACE CODES. DEFINITELY DOES. (his current ones mean: hates cops/cop killer)

He made all his own pins from scratch. Painted them, dried them, drew them, etc. He also made all the clothes he owns, even his spider suit

He always has chipped nail polish because he never bothers to redo it. Not to mention his hands would be crusty asf from fighting, guitar playing, so on.

HED BE GOOD AT ART. But, if he's drawing his art style would change every week or something lmaoo (just like me fr)

He would have a shit ton of money saving hacks to not support large businesses, and they would be hella helpful

(if you were dating him:) He would make fun of you all the time but comforts you if he actually hurt your feelings

I headcannon him as Abrosexual, but he could be Bi too, it depends

He has a complex ass routine for his hair, DEFINITELY. (his hair is cool as shit, hes gotta keep it that way somehow)

If he was in modern times, he would only play indie video games to not give big companies money

I feel like if he got shown all the fan content of him (and i mean ALL the fan content) he would either laugh, be confused, or just simply have no reaction

NSFW (i know you whores were waiting for this one):

he'd be 7 inches, a bit thick. He might have one vein on the side when hard.

He'd take his time with you for sure. He's a HUGE tease, and likes to do it until you're begging him for it.

(for the boys. 1/2) he'd be AMAZING at head, and prefers giving it than receiving it. Like he'd have you seeing stars tbh.

(2/2) He likes to tease you with his tongue piercing, and enjoys seeing you squirm, telling him to keep going.

Switch, for sure. He'd just say he's a top because he's a bit embarrassed to say he likes bottoming.

(for the girls, 1/2) I feel like he would love eating you out, ESPECIALLY if you're sitting on his face for it.

(2/2) When he asks you to sit on his face, he'd be blunt with it, and ask you to put all your body weight on him.

when I say he'd be kinky he would be KINKY. He'd be a huge sucker for BDSM and power dynamics honestly. He'd be up for anything, just nothing nasty..

If you were insecure about a certain part of your body, he'd pay attention to that one specific part of it, kissing on it and praising you for it.

i feel like he wouldn't get off often, as he could simply just ask you for it, but if he's away from you and can't control himself, he'd either get off to a picture of you or from his own imagination.

he would be great with his teeth. Giving hickies, biting, or even taking off your undergarments, he'd use his teeth for.

He'd be a fan of doing it in the bath or shower, as its clean, and you two could just wash up afterwards.

he's a masochist, period. Mental, or physical pain, he'd get hard from it.

AFTERCARE PERSON. Like, he could give you the most painful back-breaking sex in the world, and cuddle with you afterwards.

He would have hella stamina, like he could go all night if you wanted him to.

He'd have piercings in every place you could think of, even his dick.

⋆˙⟡♡

HOLY SHIT THAT TOOK ME SO LONG TO TYPE UP. PLEASE DONT FLOP I SPENT SO MUCH TIME ON THIS-

#miles molares #across the spiderverse #astv hobie #hobie x reader #hobie brown #hobie my beloved #hobie spiderverse #spider punk #astv #headcanon #LMAO IM CRINGING AT THIS HELPP #kharyi notice this you hoe #@ mutuals

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otakween · 4 months

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Digital Monster: D-Project - Final Thoughts

Some quick stats:

This is my 13th Digimon game completed in less than 2 years, yay me!

This game took me 10 days to play. Love me a game that doesn't overstay its welcome.

This game was fantastic! It was probably most similar to the first Digimon World gameplay-wise, but waaay less convoluted and a lot cuter. Unlike in DW I had no problem getting the digivolutions I wanted and progressing through the game at a comfortable pace. There were a few "guide dang it!" moments here and there, but the game is mostly reasonable about hinting at what you're supposed to be doing. Full thoughts below.

Notes:

I loved the meta premise of this game. Basically when you boot it up, DemiDevimon comes along and "corrupts your game file." You then get sucked into the game world, "Swan World" (geddit, cuz Wonderswan?) The rest of the game is dedicated to restoring your corrupted surroundings and returning evil digimon to their nice forms. Very satisfying.

The v-pet aspect of the game was fun. The controls for calling/releasing your digimon were very intuitive. I liked how I could release them in various places like I was putting them out to pasture. The only really annoying thing was keeping the digimon fed because you had to input 4 digits to get one meat over and over and over again.

Of course I just used a guide to figure out the right codes, but the "enter a code and get a mystery digiegg" gimmick was cute. I really liked the animation of the egg slowly generating. It was a little weird because what digiegg you started with didn't matter much in the end, but oh well.

For some reason you have the ability to praise and scold your digimon? I understand praising because maybe it raises their happiness (I never actually checked), but there is no advantage to scolding in this game as far as I could tell.

Instead of the DW1 digivolution mechanic where you need a PHD in digivolving to get the right digimon, you just raise them in a certain environment to get the desired outcome. SO much easier. I liked that I could switch from line to line going from rookie to champion to make the game go quicker.

Except for the crazy last boss, it sort of felt like the difficulty level remained the same throughout the whole game. I brought a rookie into many battles, for example, and ended up being fine.

Omg the sprites in this game are so good!! Battling was so fun to watch (you can button mash to improve accuracy, but you don't really participate). Some kind soul uploaded all the sprites for download. I thought the Kyubimon victory animation was really funny:

Once I discovered jogress/DNA evolution I was like HELL YEAH 🔥🔥🔥 cuz the animation was so badass and took up like half the screen (wish I got more screenshots). There was also a really satisfying "BOOM!" sound effect during digivolution.

Lots of colorful, fun environments (especially compared to the last game which was blah). Another quality of life complaint is you have to go all the way to the start of the map every time you need food. There should have been more shortcuts to get from place to place.

I was actually kind of grateful that digimon die in this game. They have a pretty long lifespan, which is nice, but sometimes you need to clear up storage in your PC or you want the chance to raise a different type, so mons dying wasn't as soul crushing as in previous games.

If you can't read Japanese, I think I'd still recommend this game. The visuals and gameplay are enough to carry it and the controls/menus are pretty simple.

I give Digital Monster: D-Project an 8 out of 10

#digital monster: d-project #digimon #video games #games #wonderswan #oswan

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andmaybegayer · 1 month

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Last Monday of the Week 2024-05-06

Forgotten how to be

Listening: Band Camp Fri Day. Haul listed here.

I'd be lying if I said some of the appeal of Perennial is sublimated Friends at the Table vibes. Skeleton Dance is so good. The In Other Waters soundtrack is one of those albums where sometimes you just get overcome with a desire to hear a particular track because you are feeling a certain way. Baby is so loud. Love them all.

Reading: Stared A Memory Called Empire, I always forget how much I love big stupid space operas with complicated cultural and technological and social bullshit, I need to read more of these.

Extremely bold move opening with a character whose weird quirk to us is that she has a consciousness riding shotgun in her brain and then to twist it by taking that away.

I sometimes get. Not annoyed, but curious, about the idea of a story that plays its weird world straight. So often a story is about a fantastical world and something is going horribly awry there. This is good, this is storytelling, but like, it would be fun to read about a Homestuck Session that goes completely according to the game, or a Hunger Games year where no one became a symbol of rebellion, or the fourth dimensional chess of an emissary to the Space Empire conducting her business as usual. There's enough drama in there to write a book. This is nothing.

Watching: More Gundam, Amuro has deserted. I feel like something big is coming.

Playing: figured out how to easily do the Beat Saber link from my PC, unfortunately currently in Windows. Beat Saber actually runs fine from Linux but coercing the link without it crashing constantly is a bit more finicky because you can't get a good virtual desktop up. I'll have to work on that.

I am having a good time with Beat Saber, it scratches a lot of itches at once, I like games of precision and timing and reflex, and it's also really rewarding to get better at something.

Making: Working on the us-demeanor, a little dumb timer watch based on ms-demeanor's post. I might still get it made even if it isn't needed just as a PCB design thing, I haven't made a PCB in a while and with some tweaks it would be a nice smart-watch platform.

A couple big tyre-kicking days with the new camera, once doing some video at Hurka metro, another shooting birds and wildlife in the park. So very good at being a camera, astounding.

Tools and Equipment: When quickly putting something together, avoid new things as much as possible, so that you can do the actually interesting thing faster.

#last monday of the week #Bandcamp

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damnation-if · 11 months

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on today's episode of Hashing Out Concepts Theatre, i spent a while today while waiting for my new fridge/freezer to be installed after my previous one died and i lost all my food hashing out a bunch of concepts for another game idea i have. (rest assured i'm not actually working on it as a game yet i just like to bash out a framework for things every now and then to make my brain do happy chemicals lmao)

putting all of this stuff under a cut since it's a bunch of images and also in case people aren't interested XD

i am regrettably a huge fan of comic books (mostly DC) and i've seen a couple of comic book inspired IFs popping up lately, though when it comes to my own interest, i'm definitely more into a straight interpretation of a comic book universe than a more. the boys-style universe - i'm into the camp lol, not so much the grim and gritty stuff. (though that's just my own personal preference)

anyway the idea behind That's Just Super is something that i really like about certain comics - giving the villains more of a purpose and rounded existence than just existing to be in somebody's rogue's gallery. the joker's angry defence of the batfamily from various other DC evil forces, lex luthor's furious resistance against brainiac alongside superman because it's His planet, damn it, DOOM throwing in with the heroes in every second marvel event comic... i really like stories where villains and evil characters don't always make the Most Evil choice just Because, but have clear and explainable motivations that sometimes bring them into what we'd consider a 'good' alignment because unlike in d&d, there's no real such thing as a concrete moral alignment.

(this is my banner design for it)

the basic idea is that an inexplicable cosmic event removes all of the superheroes from the planet, leaving it vulnerable to attack by evil mindflayer style aliens - unless the supervillains who remain are able to band together despite their more unpredictable, less cooperative natures and save the planet in the heroes' absence. after all... if aliens take over the earth, the villains can't take it over themselves.

here's my fun little UI design idea lmao...

the other major thing about That's Just Super that i've been hashing out is the pc. the basic idea is that you pick your villain identity from a list but you get to customise their like. birth name and secret identity, while the villain identity comes with its own name, costume, and set history (including occasionally past romantic encounters). i like playing around with the way that IF works with the idea of mcs and customisable mcs so i just thought it'd be a fun twist... it also allows me to create nice drama by having set occurrences in the past lol.

so i did some profiles for the nine villain options - three each of the DC triad of tech/metahuman/magic origin. they're all based on a specific kind of villain archetype, and i really tried to limit myself to ones where i could definitely pin down more than one specific influence so it didn't end up like me just making too many analogues haha... even if some of the influences are probably pretty obvious.

weirdly i haven't even Thought about ROs yet since i've been so focussed on the pc... maybe i'll play around with the partially set background idea even more and only have 1 possible RO for each villain choice or something. maybe a couple that you can romance as anybody... not sure. (talionis could definitely have a messy broken romance with his superhero for example)

apologies that readability isn't great but these are mostly just made for me lmao

#posts from the mortal world #dc give me a job writing for you please... jk i'm not moving to the us (not that they'd have me anyway)#long post.#i think i'm so funny for that joke of labelling the reset button a joke about time manipulation lmfao #but isn't that perfectly on the nose for a comic book themed IF?? that's what i tell myself anyway #absolutely Could Not Stand the infinity saga honestly. for Many reasons.#but in regards to this stuff in particular. every villain just threw in with thanos or immediately got killed off... boring!!!!#the only person who is allowed to be Interesting is loki apparently #and the fact that they cut. Doom holding the gauntlet with all the fucking gems on it for as long as he did from the story??? Crime #All of the crimes. go to Story Jail marvel. doom will get his just rewards for you screwing him over like that some day!!!! doom is!!!!!!!!#man also just yesterday i was thinking to myself that i Need to reread in blackest night and i So do. i'm such a lantern girlie...#that's right i like d&d i like m:tg and i like comic books. bow before my supreme embarrassing taste #it has been a Chaotic couple of days if you can't tell. i haven't slept nearly enough and i. Cried when all my food got spoiled #at least the new fridge works fine so far though...

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secretgamergirl · 5 months

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Do experience systems do more harm than good?

Earlier today I saw someone talking about the common wisdom that you can't make an RPG without SOME sort of system where after you finish a session (or maybe an adventure), the GM gives you some sort of points that, whether automatically or based on assigning them, makes your character better at doing stuff. Not only do I strongly disagree that that's something every game needs, I'd like to present the argument that even in games you'd have a hard time imagining without them, experience points might actually be doing more harm than good.

Before I even get into this, let's take apart the obvious perks to having experience systems:

1- It helps maintain longterm interest in keeping a campaign going when the players are getting some sort of regular reward.

This is true of certain campaigns, but I don't think I'd really ever want to be in one. In a good campaign, everyone involved should be having a fun time just hanging out with each other, putting themselves in the shoes of the characters, building up a story and a world together, and generating cool memorable scenes. That should be more than enough incentive to stick with a game, and if you don't have those things going on, you should really stop and work out what's going wrong, not try and pave over it by powering everyone's characters up. I don't need to boost some Watcher Score when I marathon through a good TV show or a movie, and I'm not even getting to influence how those unfold, you know?

This is also one of those many things where what we have today is sort of a twisted ghost of what was originally conceived back in the early days of D&D. I had an old project on this very blog where I was reading through the books for 1st edition AD&D with a critical eye, and a huge takeaway from that was that Gary Gygax seems like he was just the absolute worst kind of GM (also backed up by reading message board posts of his, and various accounts). Back in his day, leveling up wasn't the expected inevitable progression as a game went on necessarily. You'd roll your stats, with some harsh restrictions, be forced to play what you had, roll your HP too, and the game was just kind of inherently hostile to the PCs, so you had a good chance of dying in a given session. Not only that, but when you did, there was no real coming back from it, you make a new character, starting from scratch, with 0 experience, and see if you can keep this one alive long enough to get up there again.

And aside from the carrot of maybe getting one of those elite high level characters if you stuck with it, there was the stick of characters partying their gold away. Seriously, by AD&D 1e rules, characters would just kinda burn through... I want to say it was 100 GP per level per day. And not in-game day. Real life day. You'd better show up for every session, because a week from now, your character's going to have 700 less gold in their pocket whether you show up to play or not.

We don't really play that way anymore. At least nobody I know does. Leveling up is planned out in advance by GMs, characters level up at the same time as everyone else even when the player misses a session, and if you need to make a new character or you're just joining the game late, obviously you come in at the same level as everyone else. I don't even want to dignify the arguments against doing that with discussion. It's even common for people to start games at levels other than 1 because people just don't like low-level play.

And you know, this is way outside the scope of what I was sitting down to write, but I've gotten into the jobification of video games before, right? Where people keep doing stuff like daily login rewards and weekly challenges just so there's a sense of obligation to log into games every day? That crap doesn't actually make things more FUN, it's in there to keep players compelled to play regardless of how much fun they have, and that's... literally the argument behind experience as an incentive to keep a game running.

2- It good when number go up!

Funnily enough, this is the hardest one for me to refute. There is some basic direct release of the good brain chemicals when you have numbers, and they go up. And I mean... sure, but in a tabletop game you're not generally seeing a number climb on its own, you're getting points thrown at you that you have to jot down or mark off or otherwise track and do math with, and like... there's plenty of other results from playing the game good to release the good brain chemicals. You don't explicitly need this one.

3- It's cool when you can have a story where like some dorky little kid starts off barely able to do anything and all unconfident and then gradually gets it together and gets more confident and competent as time goes on!

Oh yeah, everyone loves that sort of thing, and there's a strong case to be made that this is the primary reason people feel the need to put an experience system in basically every RPG, but those systems are all kind of just the worst at actually delivering on that, is the thing.

D&D and its derivatives are the absolute worst with this. The way I put it in this earlier conversation, you start out all, "I am a poor peasant child, barely able to afford the clothes on my back, a length of rope, a week's worth of food, and this dagger here" and then a few months later "I am basically a god and any amount of money less than 1,000,000 times my starting net worth isn't even worth stooping over for." And when I made this point someone corrected me that if you really go by the expected pacing, a campaign without big stretches of downtime between adventures with the recommended combat pacing is going to get you to level 20 in a month.

Now, I don't want to completely spit on the D&D power curve here (the economic one though can absolutely go to hell, stop making me a billionaire as a side effect of killing monsters and do all that bookkeeping). I do enjoy the eb and flow, campaign to campaign, of playing the same characters as wimpy little nothings and demigods over however long it takes my regular group to finish a campaign. But as far as having characters with arcs to them? It is AWFUL!

First off, it's just too damn fast and abrupt. When our little ragtag band heads off into the swamp to deal with those goblins or whatever, we're going to come home from even that little speed bump of an adventure tougher than all our neighbors and absurdly wealthy, to a point where it feels almost inevitable that you leave your old life behind completely and look down on everyone you grew up with.

It's not IMPOSSIBLE to have some sort of long or medium-term personal quest to avenge my parents or show I'm better than some bully, but it takes a real delicate touch to do it right, since you really have to decide up front when exactly I'm going to have that confrontation, make the villain something of an appropriately challenging nature for the level I'm going to be when I settle things, and that I don't manage to arrange that confrontation much earlier or later than planned, because again I'm pretty quickly going from dealing with food rationing, animal attacks, and slippery ravines, to taking down monsters four times my size without breaking a sweat, to like changing the course of history and rivaling evil gods. There's a very small window where it makes sense for me to get back at that owlbear who put me in the hospital or whatever.

And that's not even getting into the problem of how I've got these other three humble little kids from home experiencing all this rapid growth at the same time. Can't really have a wise old mentor if we're using experience as experience. We're either never going to catch up, or we're going to leave them in the dust if they're not leveling with us.

Now, again, D&D is kind of a huge exception here. Most RPGs I've played instead go with a starting setup where you don't start off as some starry-eyed youth who can't do anything, but instead have some skill-based system where every character is an expert without peer in a handful of skills that fit some archetypical theme, and for anything else, they need outside help, either from fellow PCs, or making arrangements with NPC experts. Standard with this is a little drip-feed of extra skill points, but this... really doesn't work for what we're looking for here. If I want to be the party's hacker, I'm going to start off as an excellent hacker. I'm not going to put all my points into shmoozing people and then expect the rest of the party to put up with me looking for the any key over a dozen adventures before finally working out this make or break ability.

4- You gain new abilities as you level up!

So... first off this actually isn't generally all that true. If you're playing a wizard in D&D, sure, every couple levels you get access to a new tier of spells, and hey that's a big game changing deal maybe. Most level-ups though are just about numbers going up. All of them in most games. Hitting harder, more often, in bigger areas, maybe. Skills and abilities work more consistently. You maybe get more HP.

For now though let's focus on when you do level up and get cool new abilities. One moment you're some kid with a stick, then you bonk the magic number of goblins with it, and now suddenly you can make all your friends fly, unbound by gravity, or you can read the thoughts of everyone around you, or you can teleport home where it's nice and safe no matter what the situation. Well that actually really sucks for the GM!

Let's say I'm doing what everyone ever making an 8 or 16-bit RPG did and lifting plot concepts shamelessly from Laputa. We've got our big floating continent. Maybe we've got some kinda evil emperor up there, raining terror down on people or something. Nobody can get there and confront him... until they hit level 7 or whatever and have access to the fly spell. I better get any air superiority based adventures out before then. Also anything where there's a tower that has windows, or dangerous terrain, etc. Better get mysteries and hidden agendas taken care of before that mind reading. Better not think about trapping the party or them getting word of an attack somewhere else before that teleporting. And that's assuming I'm being on the ball about that sort of thing. I might have this whole thing planned, where the party desperately needs to get to that flying continent, and it's this whole quest hook where maybe they have to befriend a dragon or help build an airship or get some kinda rubber bones potion and access to a powerful cannon. Whole adventures about getting that power of flight, and any of these might just totally fizzle because oh whoops, the party leveled up and they just do that now.

Less dramatically, what if we're playing of those skill point games. I'm already a super great seductive femme fatale sneaking past laser sensors and stealing keys off people I'm charming right from the start of the game, and hey, cool, that's a nice simple archetype, everyone knows what I'm good at, we can plan missions around me being all sleazy over here while someone else sets up in a sniper position and someone else is in the basement hacking and all that. Several adventures down the road, well, I have all these skill points, I haven't been able to put them into the stuff I'm good at, so now I'm also a combat monster. The original combat monster can also hack. The original hacker can also charm the pants off everyone. We're starting to develop a lot of redundancy, but that's not necessarily bad? But then we play a bunch more adventures. Those secondary concepts capped off, we're working up more. Nobody is unparalleled at the thing they originally did. Have the party is equally amazing at a given thing. If we keep going like this, eventually everyone is going to loose all sense of unique identity, and there isn't really a strong in-game reason we need this whole ragtag crew anymore. Anyone of us can take on any problem solo, really.

5- The power fantasy of being super amazing.

This is kind of a point I've already hit but I'm stuck with this format, but the thing with experience is, again, sometimes sure you gain new abilities, but usually all your various numbers go up, and that actually kinda sucks in practice. First off, it's a lot of tedious bookkeeping, in basically any system you can name. It also doesn't generally really make a difference in the grand scheme of things?

I'm level 3. I've got a +7 to hit, doing 15 damage a hit, and an AC of 18. I'm fighting some orc with 40 HP, 15 AC, and attacking at +5. I level up a few times. Now I'm level 7. I've got a +13 to hit, doing 30 damage, and an AC of 24. I'm fighting crustaceanoids now, with 80 HP, 21 AC, and attacking at +11. Objective numbers wise, crustateanoids are way way tougher than orcs, but in my experience this is the EXACT same fight. I hit on an 11. I need 3 hits to take something down. It's bad news for me if my enemy rolls a 13 to hit me. All we've done is a bunch of annoying math refactoring with nothing to show for it but cosmetically reskinned mooks.

Now here, interestingly enough, I ONLY have the D&D type example here. Again, most other RPGs I have don't have that same sort of rampant power creep. You start out absurdly skillful at whatever your specialty is, and there's little if any room for growth, numbers wise. So here, if we go from orcs to crustateanoids to hellborn cyberdragons as enemies, not only is this technically a set of progressively scarier enemies to have to deal with, they actually ARE more meaningful threats to the party. Maybe those orcs were all show, they never really hurt us because we're awesome secret agents or something, but now things are getting serious because these crustaceanoids are just as good at sick flips and firing machine guns in two different directions as we are, so we have to take them much more seriously. And oh damn, after this we have to deal with a hellborn cyberdragon? Those are so scary if we all just rush in we're probably all gonna die. We need to come up with a whole complex plan to avoid directly engaging that if at all possible, and run for it if that doesn't pan out, or something.

And hey, we don't need something even more epic than a hellborn cyberdragon to top that. One of those is still going to be harrowing no matter how late in the campaign we bust it out. We can establish a power balance early on and keep it relevant like that. PCs gotta get more innovative and clever not just kill most monsters until demigods are easily punchable.

6: Revenge of 3- Well character growth is still important!

So, I really shouldn't be trashing experience points' ability to deliver cool character growth if I don't have some alternative to it, right? We need some way to change things up so the game doesn't stagnate. Well sure, but we can do better than experience there.

Just off the top of my head, how about we go with plot relevant respec-ing? Like at any given time a character's got their main spotlight thematic kit. Your best of the best at being a hacker or wizard or whatever. Maybe also a secondary skillset. And then definitely some number of slots for stuff they're into but it's not their main thing. Maybe we have a few variant minisets for those. Like if someone just unlocked their psychic powers and haven't fully figured them out, you have access to this here set of abilities. Once you have your big dramatic power mastery moment, that becomes their main thing and we demote their previous main thing to a secondary thing... and if we don't like this psychic stuff in the end, we demote it back down and fill a tertiary slot with like Lost Psychic Powers, where you still get to be all knowledgeable about how this sorta crap works and maybe have some battles of wills but your cool telekinesis is all locked away. At least for now.

I don't want to sit down and fully design a game at the tail end of a blog post here, but feel free to try this out with whatever system you like. Just pick whatever level feels like the good one, build characters with that as their basic kit, let'em have a few dips into secondary and tertiary angles, do a lot of getting thrown out of orders and taking major injuries and getting temporarily possessed or infused with mystery things. And you can do the plucky young kids in over their head thing with this sort of system easily enough. Start off with just the tertiary interest/mini-skill-packs, and once whatever you want to grow into starts coming up, rapidly grow into that over the course of a few adventures, no needing some big dramatic status quo change like this usually calls for.

Oh and I haven't been talking about video games here, but kill experience there too. If I'm not doing the whole Metroidvania/Zeld'em Up thing to pick up new powers as I explore, just gimme the whole kit from the get-go. Have traditional difficulty curves. We're good. Leave the skill trees and the level-grinding out of it. What are you holding back for, replayability? It's been raining free big-name big commitment games for years. Quit demanding that much of our time.

Oh and I keep forgetting to beg for money while I write these. I went 24 hours here without eating because I was just out of food and couldn't afford to go to the store. Someone took pity on me and hand delivered a big bowl of soup. Things are getting real bad. Patreon link.

#game design #experience points #leveling up

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brennholzverleih · 19 hours

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A few weeks ago I switched to Linux and I've got some thoughts

I chose Arch Linux because I had some prior experience with using Ubuntu and Linux Mint on laptops, both for work and for myself.

Gaming is, aside from games that require certain anticheats, extremely easy to set up. Steam just works and I use Heroic as an alternative frontend for the Epic games launch and GOG Galaxy and it runs better than both of them did on windows. I haven't looked into Origin the EA App or Uplay Ubisoft Connect but I know I could play their stuff via Lutris or Bottles.

I locked myself out of my system once because I didn't verify a change I made to my fstab (basically a file where all your drives are listed) and while that's my fault for not verifying, you'd think the os would be able to boot if some drive that's not necessary isn't plugged in. A little help from a mutual helped me fix it.

Gnome is a very meh desktop environment. It's kinda considered the default for Linux and aside from KDE and budgie the only one I'm really familiar with. I had to install a bunch of extensions for it to work the way I wanted and it also comes with a bunch of preinstalled software that I don't need and can't (without fearing I'll break something) get rid of (for example, I use Alacrity but have to keep Gnome Console around).

The theming is so good. I can theme so much stuff it's great. I start up LibreOffice and it picks up the background and accent colour I set, I love it.

I'm getting more comfortable with using the terminal and while I still think that ideally every application should have a GUI, sometimes the terminal is more convenient (like using yay to update my entire system).

When I used Windows I had sporadic crackling sounds that I assumed were the fault of my DAC/AMP but I haven't had them since switching to Linux so I guess this was a Windows issue somehow. I tried so many fixes before that didn't work like checking drivers and firmware, using different usb ports and cables, trying different headphones but to no avail even when I got a completely new pc. Thanks, Windows.

I don't get Flatpak at all. Universal packages are neat but when I installed the Flatpak version of Bottles to run save/mod managers inside the proton prefixes that Steam uses, it suddenly took up almost 5gb. It also for whatever reason couldn't see half the folders even after I gave it access to the entire file system. In the end I went with the AUR version of Bottles which does not have that problem despite being Unofficial™. I just wish that the library/shortcut system worked but I can live with it I guess.

The AUR seemed annoying because it took forever to build packages compared to just installing binaries. The Chaotic AUR is a godsent because it contains a ton of binaries from the AUR. I don't get why people don't recommend it more often.

The only software I really miss from windows is ShareX. Not even because of all the tools like scroll capture, but also for OCR. Watching a vod of a twitch stream and being able to grab links out of the chat on screen is nice. Maybe I'll find an alternative someday, who knows.

I've come to despise a lot of people who think that the way they use Linux is the only good one. A big thing that kept me from switching was that the more I informed myself, the more weird opinionated takes I saw. Being forced to engage with questions such as "Is systemd bloat?", " Is neovim the only good text editor?", "Are tiling window managers universally better?", " Is Canonical literally Satan for having made Snap packages?" and "Is it ok to call this person a slur for using solarized KDE?" makes it so much harder to make a choice you're comfortable with.

I should not have put /home on a different partition or at least made the /root partition bigger. It's fine if I clean the pacman cache regularly but I don't want to look up those commands every few days (I know I can resize the boot partition with a live usb and I will, I'm just lazy rn).

My controller only works correctly when plugged in via usb. If I connect it via Bluetooth, the buttons don't map correctly. This is less of a Linux issue and more of a firmware issue since this is a third party controller that does not support Linux. I'm also aware of Steam having a robust remapping tool so I'll use that if I ever need to.

I have not yet looked into software to map my additional mouse buttons and control my keyboard/mouse rbg. Both of these store their settings on board so there's no need for it right now.

Might add more in the future but these are my thoughts for the first few weeks

#linux #arch linux

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nabaath-areng · 3 months

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I feel so strange thinking about how I considered myself "new" in FFXIV for the longest time, as when I started playing there were so many legacy players around. I saw their mounts and their titles, I talked to them, played with them, and to me they were the experienced ones teaching me how to play my first MMO. For years I considered myself a newbie.

And then, just the other day, I see in the chat of an FC I was invited to on an alt, people talking about having played for a long time, and their longest playing member having been around for 5 years. It hit me just how long of a time that is, and how much longer passed before I'd even realized it.

I ask others if they remember various things from the past, and I can count on one hand the amount of people I meet in recent years who do. So many things I still consider new and flashy, like Gpose and job gauges for instance, have now been in the game far longer than they have not. It's a strange situation caused by me losing about a decade's worth of memories and life (due to mental health issues that practically broke me) as well as the normal feeling ot time passing without me really thinking about it. Less and less did I see the legacy titles and mounts, but I didn't pay much heed. Until one day I suddenly stop and look around, realizing that I haven't seen any legacy players at all for a while. I'm certain they're out there, but most likely not in the same sheer abundance as before.

It's a bit similar to real life, where my home was once just an old, secluded village that have now become geographically closer to the city without ever moving. Where the others I used to surround myself with have all moved on in slow trickles over the years, and where I cannot expect everyone to remember the same things that I do. So many new people everywhere, some that cause lines in the grocery store that can afford to keep running after all these years, and some that fail to load in on my weak little laptop's screen.

It's like I have two homes mirroring each other, and obviously that means I age in both of them. I bought this game as a gift for myself on my 18th birthday... and here I am 10 years later, turning 28 today, and realizing that I'm still here in both places despite everything. Waiting for another expansion all over again, just like when I was staying alive just because I wanted to play Heavensward so bad.

I can't even begin to count just how many people I've known and interacted with throughout the years in this game. There are memories that my years of paranoia and psychosis stole from me (something which I only shook off the last remnants of half a year ago), of people who I know were important to me but who I'm also unable recall much about beyond their names, which is something which fills me with both deep shame and sorrow. Some I remain in touch with to this day, and some I am mutuals with on various sites, even if we don't chat regularly anymore.

There's a lot that I don't remember, or that I even memorized in the first place. Things have changed time and again for both better and worse. But FFXIV has remained a constant throughout it all, even when I've been unsubbed due to lack of a PC and just on a general break.

I don't know what my point is with all of this really, but I guess I just really wanted to get it off my chest. It's not all sunshine and rainbows these days either, but my mental health is better than it's ever been, I have a partner and friends and family who all mean the world to me, and even though some things will forever be less than ideal, I am so so so happy that I didn't give up. Staying alive really was the best decision I ever made ❤️

#pardon my emotional wall of text #that probably looks weird with phrasing etc #im all over the place and sleepy and unmedicated #its just been a Lot lately while playing #some bad (realizing how much has been taken from me due to mental illness)#but also a lot of good (realizing how much better things are now)#anyway i should rest my eyes now oops #good thing im not celebrating with family until tomorrow cause my sleep got fucked LOL #anyway ANOTHER EXPAC TO BE ALIVE FOR YEAAAAAH #idk theyre just like life milestones for me yknow #hw was the main one but the others have functioned similarly

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