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himbos-hotline · 1 year

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Please tell me about the hairtie fic I wish for pain

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

its offically titled "Maybe this time, he'll stay" and it started as an idea that Jay and their parnters giving them things that people would see as trash. Like Hanger giving them beer bottle caps that Jay makes them into badges, adam gives him tabs off his monsters, wheeler gives them flowers that she can press into her scrapbook. And Kenny gives her a hairtie, something that seems so useless and kinda gross because its been in his mouth and in his hair and hes slept in it. But he puts in on and kisses her wrist and it goes from "he may need it" to "hes gonna stay because the band around my arm- its a promise that he'll return."

This makes place around kennys and hagners fued. Wheeler has a family emergency and isnt there, Cole gets injured pretty early on and thus hes gone. And then Kenny starts to change- slow at first and then its like a volcano errupting. Hes arguing with Adam more and their tagteam dissolves [much like what we see in AEW canon] Jay keep nursing a drunk hanger and waits up a night for kenny to return from seeing the bucks but he always comes back to their hotel room and curls up in bed and apologises and explains that he "doesnt feel like himself sometimes." and Jay nods and holds him while making sure that adams still breathing. They go on their own work- having to beat wheels for the ROH pure title [Im fucking around with the timeline so the BCC exists while the elite stuff is going on] so he can go help his family.

Jay keeps wearing the hairtie to the point shes not seen without it. Until the match where Kenny gives up with being adams caregiver and loosing because his heart isnt in the wrestling matches they have or theyre bickering and their relationship is falling apart with their tagteam. So he lets them fall and storms out of the arena. its just Jay and adam and she stays awake sitting on a chair by the window, watching the sky waiting for kenny to turn up to collect his stuff. He should be back, he promised that hed always come back. Jay paces around the hotel room, cleans the best she can without waking up hanger and its only when she goes to close the curtains because the sun is rising and its gonna hit his face does Jay spot the hairtie and suddenly all the meanings feels rotten and stale. So Jay takes off the hairtie and chucks it into the front of her suitcase

the mark on their arm seems to be implanted in his skin, likes someones taken a knife and carved sections of his arm off. and jay feels somewhat naked without it and suddenly in the silence of morning Jay feels empty and like shes fallen against concrete. So she just goes to curl up against her sleeping cowboy and when he wakes up its a day to wallow in the saddest that kennys left behind because the two of them are morning. Theres the potential of sad soft sex where its only for the two of them to be reminded that the other is still there, that the heat theyre feeling is real and so are they. Jay ventures out to get food cuz depression cannot win and everything makes them feel sick and jay just returns with crooked fruit that adam cuts up and the two of them share a plate of crooked, bruised fruits.

Its dark outside when Regal asks Jay to go train with him and Mox- even if its just running on a treadmill and Jay, after so much convincing, goes and when he and mox are changing together mox goes "wheres the hairtie?" And suddenly that gross feeling is back. Jay wants to retreat back to Adam and hold him, cling to him until the realness of him reminds Jay that shes not the only one hurting because she sees it when he looks at his eyes. This shared sadness between people who understand each other. But Jay cant run away so his reply is just "it broke. everythings broken."

her big brother nods and kinda goes "I dunno why you even wore a hairtie." Because jay had short hair. And jay kinda sits there for a little while while working out thinking about why. Why did they wear it? What did it mean? Was it just a hairtie to Kenny when it was this everlasting looping connection to Jay? Jay leaves training early leaving to smoke out back and wollow and feel gross and bad and suddenly one smoke isnt enough and wheeler notices the taste of smoke on her tongue when they go to kiss goodbye.

The anger turns into sadness cuz Jay really is alone and hanger and Kenny are fighting and jays in the middle and Kenny won't look st him when they pass in the corridor and they talk through the Bucks and there's nothing of normal in the polycule. And then one day he passes Kenny on the corridor and they make eye contact and his eyes are so blue and bright and it's so awkward and jay stays awake thinking bout how numb they feel. Everything; their friends, their partners everything that ever mattered to Jay suddenly is a weapon and can end. everything ends, everything dies, memento mori and remember that life doesnt matter so fuck everything and who cares if youre killing yourself slowly? Maybe then youll see a real angel.

Jay smokes more and it happens by accident. Cigarette ash lands on her legs and it leaves behind that perfect scattering of marks that looks golden and the pain feels good, feel true. And so Jay ends up putting out her cigaerettes against her shoulders or anywhere thats covered by her clothes and ring gear. Its her version of going out to the bar and drinking until ya head spins. Smoke pickled euphoria.

Jay gets angry at herself for smoking more and for hating the kenny that exists now and that anger manifests and mixes with their sadness and he starts to feel like hes weighed down JAy misses the kenny that they had and misses the softness in the way he used to treat hanger

Jay smokes more and gets a little grasp of happiness when familiar hands cover his eyes one day while in his ring gear and it's just "did you miss me sweetheart?" "Adam !!" Because Cole is back. And Jay gets so wrapped up in the joy of finally having a polycule member back. And he's mended and loved and Jay takes off their ring shirt

And Cole noticed the bruises and the burn marks and "love shouldn't burn jay." And so Cole becomes designated Jay looker afterer. They don't tell hangy about the burns and hanger doesn't question much why jay keeps his shirt and is quick to get dressed again. Or only shift and move from behind. The burns heal and jay kisses them both. And they're happy. They're home. Even if Cole follows her everywhere and hanger clings to them both when sleeping. Its a weird mournful sort of normal like family meeting at a fuenral. Theres some fluff smothered in now that Jay isnt able to wrestle since hes "gotten hurt" and jay slowly starts to seperate themselves from the adams because he feels bad for hurting when the two of them are- staying in their own seperate hotel room.

When Kenny signs the contract in blood, Hanger spends the night in the hospital and when Jay comes back to their hotel room kenny is standing there waiting for zem. Jay isnt happy to see him but also a part of her heart is- he pushes himself into Jays room and the two of them argue. To the point where Jay brings up Kota and "youre not golden kenny! you were never the golden one!" and kenny brings up and tears down everything about Jay its angry and angsty and jay lights a cig and kenny makes a joke and jay replies with "people should betrays their partners but here we fucking are,"

And then Kenny noticed that Jays hurt. Either from a match or training or maybe Jay punching the alleyway wall behind the dailys place. and Kenny takes her hand and kisses her bloodied knuckles and "oh baby girl-" "you don't get to call me that." And Kenny being the asshole he is it's "even when you hate me. You're still my baby." And jay grabs his shirt and pulls him close. They stare and jay breathes smoke against his lips and it makes Kenny cough and the gap between them gets smaller and insert angry sex here because the two of them are still partners and in the morning Jay wakes up alone.

theres an awkward conversation where Jay feels like theyve cheated on the adams and hanger explains that jays allowed to sleep with his boyfriend because Jay shouldnt be involved and thats where Jay and hanger sharing drinks comes from. hanger excuses himself form his own hotel room and finds kenny and argue that he cant do the shit he does with him to jay because "jay still thinks you love him!" and Kenny is awkwardly quiet because he does still love jay, but something, someone. a voice in his head told him to leave so he did. Jay doesnt seem intrested in him anymore because jay wasnt wearing the hairtie so clearly that means that the bond between them is broken- and its all kennys fault. But he cant tell hanger that so he just sits quietly and lets the cowboy yell until theres tears on his cheeks and he just goes "im going to the bar."

hanger wins the title, jay meets his folks and the two of them are happy for the first time in a while. Kenny gets better slowly on his own after taking time away and slowly repairing the relationships hes shattered. He apologises to the bucks for making them his errand boys and evetnually a weary and emotionally upset kenny bites the bullet and so he turns up on Jays hotelroom doorstep and the two of them have a conversation and kenny finally explains that he has "other people." in his head and Jay doesnt fully understand but they comfort each other and the two of them talk from the hearts and in the end Kenny falls asleep on jays bed and jay cant bare to part with the sudden warmth thats growing in her chest and so they lay down and the two of them sleep together and when Jay wakes up kenny is there still curled into his side.

The polycule has a conversation about what happened and kenny slowly settles back into his place there and theres a lot of pussyfooting and finally Kenny curls up behind the cowboy and plays with Jays hair and torments her about their love of storms and finally it rains and they all go outside and just lay in the grass feeling like moss is consuming them and finally theres normality. Wheeler comes back and his family emergency is fixed and fine and everythings healed up. And its one small warm night where Jay lays between kennys legs, dangles one hand over Cole's eyes, places his legs on Wheelers and listens to adam humming while he reads. Theyre all together and touching.

and

"Kenny tell me about your video game?" and hes a little aprehensive because Jay hasnt got the first clue about the games he plays but he turns off the punchy sounds, turns up the music and slowly settles into a rhythm while resting his controller/switch on the back of jays neck to pinn them against him and. "Hey kenny?" "hmm?" "welcome home."

#mouse has pals #shanie the toyaddict #FIC: the hairtie fic #FIC: maybe this time #OC: jay orton

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