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whump-tr0pes · 5 months

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Breakfast, Part 2

Many thanks to @newbornwhumperfly for being so generous in letting me put their boy Morja in Situations, and many apologies to them as well for holding onto this story for so many months while waiting for me to finish it.

My masterlist

Morja is a diathésimos, one of a class of indentured servants owned by society’s elite - though some would call them slaves. He has been tasked with a mission of critical importance by his anóteros: to infiltrate a dangerous family that has taken refuge in the north, and kill the criminal that they are harboring: Gavin Stormbeck.

“It is your part to kill me, mine to die without flinching.”

— Epictetus, from Discourses (Translated by Robert Dobbin)

Contents: captivity, conditioned whumpee, Breakfast, past drugging, past offscreen deaths of children, fear of noncon

The dining room was so quiet, Morja could hear everyone breathing. His hands shook in fists in his lap, and he stared at his plate, heaped high with scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon. He had only taken a few scraps from the kitchen before Gray had gently removed the plate from his hands and piled more food on. His face burned with shame at the prospect of eating so much food, and while seated at the table, surrounded by the people he knew to be traitors to his anóteros.

Gray sat at the head of the table, on one side of Morja. Vera sat on his other side. Isaac Moore and Gavin Stormbeck sat at the opposite end of the table, but Morja made no mistake; he knew that Vera Novak was as deadly a fighter as Isaac, and he also knew she was armed. Not with a gun, but with a knife, slipped into the sleeve of her shirt. He’d seen it while she took a scoop of eggs in the kitchen. He didn’t know the meaning of Gray letting him out of his room, but he understood the meaning of Vera sitting next to him: make one wrong move, step out of line, and his life would be forfeit.

In some small, strange way, it was comforting. It was the life he knew.

His muscles were so tightly wound that he flinched when Gray raised their hand. “Dig in, everyone, while it’s still hot,” they said brightly. Morja flushed with shame at the flinch and couldn’t stop his gaze from drifting to Gavin Stormbeck at the end of the table. The Stormbeck heir looked away from him with an unreadable expression. Morja swallowed hard and began to eat.

The food couldn’t be drugged or poisoned this time. He had seen the family take from the same dishes he had. His hand trembled only minutely as he took up his fork and scooped up a small bite of eggs. It was just as delicious as every other morning.

They’ve been preparing the same food for me as they’ve been eating. The same quality.

The thought made Morja dizzy.

“Good?” came a soft voice Morja didn’t recognize.

His head snapped up and he met the gaze of Sam Vasterling. They were seated across from him, curls wild about their head, eyes soft and dark with… something Morja didn’t recognize. It was something like worry, he thought. What struck him was how very young they looked. Younger than they looked in all the surveillance photos he had pored over in their dossier.

A traitor, still, he thought, forced himself to think. They’ve committed crimes that make them as dangerous to the North as any of the others. And some day, they may pay the price. I may be the one to make them pay the price.

I’ve been the one to put a child down before, and Sam Vasterling is no child.

His throat was so tight he could not even swallow. The food was trapped in his throat. He shivered, tried again, forced the eggs down.

“Y-yes,” he croaked. “Thank you.”

A thin smile passed over Sam’s face, and that smile was still warmer than any expression Morja had ever seen south of this house. “I did the eggs today,” Sam said. “So I was hoping you’d like them better. I add more cheese.”

A thin finger of fear traced the back of Morja’s neck. Was this just a game, too? A hint? Was the food drugged? He was exhausted, so, so tired of trying to think his way through these puzzles. He let his eyes fall shut as the bone-deep weariness rose up to crush him. He wished, in that moment, to be told of his infraction and what his punishment would be. Then, at least, he would know, and the punishment would have an end.

He forced his eyes back open. He didn’t know what else to do but nod and bow his head. Obediently, he took another bite of food, bacon this time.

As if they could read his mind, Gray cleared their throat and said, “None of us have any plans or intention to harm you, Morja.”

This time, Morja swallowed carefully. A weight tugged at his lungs, crushing them, until his head was spinning. All he could do was nod again.

“Thank you, Gray,” he whispered, through a throat far too tight to speak. At the end of the table, Gavin Stormbeck drew in a deep breath. Morja’s stomach turned, but he took another bite.

“What I do have plans for today,” Gray said–

–Morja’s stomach heaved, and he nearly brought up the breakfast he had eaten so far–

–“is to finish repairs on that back corner of the barn.”

Morja shivered, and his stomach unclenched. Sweat prickled under his shirt.

Isaac nodded tightly. “I can help,” he said, his eyes on his plate.

Vera huffed. “Guess that means I’m on Uriah duty.” She shrugged and arranged some slices of bacon atop a piece of toast.

Morja’s brow furrowed as he looked from Vera to Gray. It made sense for this family’s anóteros to demand a constant guard… but Isaac Moore seemed to be the one fulfilling that task today, not Vera.

Sam cleared their throat, and Morja was startled to discover that they were looking at him as they did. “Not… she means Gavin Uriah.”

Morja blinked, not understanding. Does Gray have a son?

“Me,” Gavin Stormbeck said dully from the end of the table. “She means me.”

Morja’s eyes widened as he glanced at Gavin Stormbeck, then back at his plate. Isaac’s words and rage from the night Morja was captured clicked inside Morja.

“No, Gavin Stormbeck, pl–”

“Don’t call him that.”

Morja’s throat tightened, and he swallowed again. He didn’t have to understand it. He didn’t have to understand how these people thought. His anóteros had told him their way of thinking was sick, twisted, broken.

And yet–

Gray cleared their throat, and Morja flinched. Blood rushed to his face at the shame of it, at the humiliation of such a sound causing such a movement in a body built to be a weapon. He held perfectly still and waited. Waited.

“That sounds fine, Vera,” was all Gray Uriah said.

For a long time, the table was silent, with the only sounds being the clinking of forks against plates. Morja took a bite of his breakfast - his hot and delicious breakfast - and another, and another, until his plate was empty. Slowly, the others at the table began to talk of things he didn’t understand, people he didn’t know, events he had never heard of. There was a lull in the conversation, and he opened his mouth.

“E-excuse me,” he croaked, and everyone fell silent. His hands shook, and he placed them flat on the table.

“Yes, Morja?” Gray said gently, and he could feel their soft gaze on his face.

Morja’s throat worked even as terror shuddered through him. Still, he forced himself to speak. “What is it that… you might want as repayment? For the privilege? Of…” He bowed his head, wishing that he could drop to his knees beside Gray. But Gray had said they didn’t like it when he did that, and he was terrified if he moved, Vera would leap forward with her knife. “In what way can I… repay…?”

He had to be polite. Even in this den of vipers, he had to be polite. Even once they began to hurt him, he knew he had to be polite. He could not be ungrateful for what he had been given so far.

Even if they wanted to repay him by bending him over this table and–

“Well, we usually share the task of doing dishes,” Gray said. Morja was startled to realize he had not breathed since he asked his question, and he slowly drew in a breath. “If you like, you can help us with the dishes.”

“Yes, please,” Morja said, bowing his head even deeper. “I would like to do that… please.” Especially if it spared him from paying them back in… other ways.

He wanted to be useful.

“Well, then,” Gray said as they carefully got up. “Vera, you and Morja and I could go to the kitchen?”

“Sure thing,” Vera said, in a tone that sounded almost flippant. She grabbed her plate and sauntered into the kitchen.

“Morja, if you’ll take your plate and come with me?” Gray said as they followed her in.

Morja obeyed, making his movements as slow and careful as possible without seeming like he was dawdling. He cut a wide berth around the table, keeping his gaze down and away from Isaac Moore. Still, he could feel the other diathésimos’s eyes burning into him, and he knew without having to look that Isaac Moore’s hand was on his weapon.

Once in the kitchen, Gray smiled as they took Morja’s plate. A chill clutched Morja’s chest.

“I’ll wash your plate,” Gray said. “And you can wash Vera’s. And Vera will wash mine.”

Morja nodded and did what he was told. Orders. Orders were good. He took the plate Vera handed him and turned to the sink to wash it. The water was warm, then hot - he wondered if he would ever be given a cold shower here, like with his anóteros. For now, he had just been bathing with the wet rag he had been given each day.

When Vera’s plate was clean, Gray washed Morja’s plate. Morja’s stomach twisted with the wrongness, but… it had been an order. Then Vera washed Gray’s plate. The whole time, her body was turned towards Morja. He knew exactly why, and he understood.

When those dishes were drying in the rack, Gray gave him a smile. “Back to your room, then?” they said. Morja swallowed hard and nodded.

Then he was led back to his room, and the door was locked again. His belly was full. His bruises were healing.

@womping-grounds , @free-2bmee , @quirkykayleetam , @walkingchemicalfire , @inpainandsuffering , @redwingedwhump , @burtlederp , @castielamigos-whump-side-blog , @whatwhumpcomments , @whumpywhumper , @stxck-fxck , @whumps-the-word , @justplainwhump , @finder-of-rings , @inky-whump , @thatsthewhump , @orchidscript , @this-mightaswell-happen , @newandfiguringitout , @whumpkitty , @pretty-face-breaker , @cinnamonflavoredhugs , @pebbledriscoll , @im-just-here-for-the-whump , @endless-whump , @grizzlie70 , @oops-its-whump , @kixngiggles, @1phoenixfeather , @butwhatifyouwrite , @carnagecardinal , @annablogsposts , @suspicious-whumping-egg

#honor bound au #morja and company #athena/raye crossover #captivity #conditioned whumpee #Breakfast #past drugging #past death of children #fear of noncon

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posi-pan · 1 year

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2022 books with pan rep 📚

At the time of posting previous lists, there were 57 books in 2020 and 141 in 2021. This year, there are 176!

30 Things I Love about Myself by Radhika Sanghani

Ablaze by A.H. Cunningham

All I’m Asking by J. Marie Rundquist

Apparition by Zahlia Amin

Attraction (Mobsters + Billionaires #3) by Kelly Fox

Bad At Love by Gabriela Martins

Barcelona (Circus After Dark #3) by Chloe Adler

The Barkeep and the Bookseller by V.L. Locey

Barnabas Bopwright Saves the City by J. Marshall Freeman

Bartholomew (The Temple Brothers #2) by Elle Sparrow

Ben and Beatriz by Katalina Gamarra

Bishop’s Opening by R.S.A Garcia

Bitter Medicine by Mia Tsai

Blood Bound (Youkai Bloodlines #3) by Courtney Maguire

Blood Legacy (Avators of Ruin #2) by Tej Turner

Bloodmarked (Legendborn #2) by Tracy Deonn

Bound (Fangs with Benefits #3) by Aveda Vice

Bound (Kozlov Chronicles #2) by Elena Sobol

Carnal Cryptids 2: Southeast (Carnal Cryptids #2) by Vera Valentine

Changing the Rules (Rules of the Game: Evanston River Otters #1) by Brigham Vaughn

The Chasm (Finding Humanity #2) by Branwen Oshea

Cold Cases and Bitter Enemies (Cold Case Unit #3) by J.M. Dabney

A Cosmic Kind of Love by Samantha Young

Count Your Lucky Stars by Alexandria Bellefleur

A Cruel and Fated Light (The Hollow Star #2) by Ashley Shuttleworth

Dance with the Devil (Mercenary Librarians #3) by Kit Rocha

The Darkest Edge by Lyra Blake

Dead Draw by Layla Reyne

Death by Society by Sierra Elmore

Dinner with the Schnabels by Toni Jordan

Dominance of the Heart by Char Dafoe

Dragon’s Honor (Irresistible Dragons #2) by Nora Phoenix

Dreams Bigger Than Heartbreak (Unstoppable #2) by Charlie Jane Anders

D’Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding by Chenica C. Higgins

The Edge of Being by James Brandon

Electric Idol (Dark Olympus #2) by Katee Robert

Epilogues of Lost Gods (Unwritten Runes #2) by Cat Rector

Errant Vol. 1 (Errant #1) by L.K. Fleet

Eternal Hoptimist by Lee Blair

Every Word You Never Said by Jordon Greene

Exodus 20:3 by Freydís Moon

Extra Witchy (Fix-It Witches #3) by Ann Aguirre

Fabricated by Zoe Lee

The Fae Keeper (The Witch King #2) by H.E. Edgmon

The Fake Date by Trisha Bradley

Fate in Suspension (Horn & Haven #1) by Archer Kay Leah

Fault Tolerance (Chilling Effect #3) by Valerie Valdes

Fight + Flight by Jules Machias

Fighting Monsters: Part One (Fighting Monsters #1) by Sam Hall

Fighting Monsters: Part Two (Fighting Monsters #2) by Sam Hall

Forward March by Skye Quinlan

Furious Heaven (The Sun Chronicles #2) by Kate Elliott

Going Public (Jade Harbor Capital #2) by Hudson Lin

Got Me Looking (Vet Shop Boys #3) by Casey Cox

Griff by Ana Night

Grim and Bear It (Love Me Dead #2) by Heather Novak

Grounded for All Eternity by Darcy Marks

The Heartbreak Handshake by J.R. Hart

Her Stubborn Warrior by Kaylee Pike and Kyra Keys

His Heart Knows by Riley Long

The Hourglass Throne (The Tarot Sequence #3) by K.D. Edwards

Howl Down the Moon by Layla Dorine

How to Love a Dragon (Dragon Tamer #2) by Lila Mina

How We Ricochet by Faith Gardner

I Am Sebastian by Cameron James

I Bought Him, So He’s Mine by Kaylee Pike and Kyra Keys

Icebreaker by A.L. Graziadei

Icebreaker by Hannah Grace

I F-ing Dare You by Emm Darcy

If I Were A Weapon (All These Gifts #1) by Skye Kilaen

The Immortality Trials (The Immortality Trials #1) by Madison Nicole

Incandescent by Christina Lee

Indigo: Nights (Indigo B&B #2) by Adrian J. Smith

Inked Temptation by Carrie Ann Ryan

In the City of Time by Gwendolyn Clare

Irresponsible Puckboy by Eden Finley and Saxon James

It’s Not Unusual To Be Loved by an Alien by Chloe Archer

Jamison by A.N. Waugh

Jilted: Jaren (The Foster Brothers #1) by Nora Phoenix

Just a Touch Away by Jae

Just One Date (Castleton Hearts #5) by Chelsea M. Cameron

Kieran by Avery Tu and Kota Quinn

The Kindred by Alechia Dow

Kink Camp: Hunted by A. Anders

Know It In the Dark (All These Gifts #2) by Skye Kilaen

Kostya the Fallen Star by Melissa Polk

The Last Hero (The First Sister #3) by Linden A. Lewis

Last Resort by Helene Gadot

Lead Me Astray by Sondi Warner

Let Me In (Gods of Hunger #3) by R.M. Virtues

Let the Light Shine Through by A. Marie

Lipstick Lies (The Order Duet #2) by Kris Butler

Lizzie Blake’s Best Mistake by Mazey Eddings

London (Circus After Dark #4) by Chloe Adler

Love & Other Disasters by Anita Kelly

Love Me Gently by E.M. Dennings

Love You Like That by Scarlett Cole

Lunar New Love by Ophelia Silk

Man o’ War by Cory McCarthy

Match with the Demon by Chace Verity

Meet Me on St. Patrick’s Day by Bryony Rosehurst

Moon Dark Smile (Night Shine #2) by Tessa Gratton

MumFest & Murder (The Java Tavern #2) by Elizabeth Garver

Music Lights & Never Afters by C.L. Matthews

My Roommate Romeo (First Times #1) by Billie Bloom

Nestor (Green Hill Pride #6) by Catherine Lievens

Not Good for Maidens by Tori Bovalino

Not Your Type by Elizabeth Jeannel

Odder Still by D.N. Bryn

Omega’s Study Partner (Sweet in Silford #3) by Hope Bennett

One Night With You by Laura Jane Williams

One Night With You by Sky McCoy

One Step at a Time by Lily Seabrooke

One Week with His Stepbrother (Daddy Tales #3) by Kelex

The One Who Loves You the Most by Medina

Ophelia After All by Racquel Marie

Paris (Circus After Dark #1) by Chloe Adler

Pitcher Perfect (Tap That Brewery #1) by Lee Blair

Playing for Keeps by Jax Calder

Play Me (Dragons Love Curves series #10) by Aidy Award

Pull (Love Is Love #1.5) by Nyla K.

Project Himbo by S.J. Whitby

Promote (Shattered Pawns #3) by Jennifer Cody

Pushing the Limits (Secrets Kept #2) by Riley Hart

Queen of Queens (Our Fae Queen #5) by Traci Lovelot

Queen’s Hope (Star Wars: The Padmé Trilogy #3) by E.K. Johnston

Reaper Hospital: Code Hot Nurse (Their Repear #2) by Lacey Carter Anderson

Recast (Handled #4) by Romilly King

The Redemption by Alexia Chase

Ripped (Kozlov Chronicles #3) by Elena Sobol

Rookie Mistake (On the Board #1) by Anna Zabo and L.A. Witt

Royal Exposé by Jenny Frame

Royal Lines (Boston Rebels #4) by R.J. Scott and V.L. Locey

Sasha and the Butcher (The Moretti Family #1) by Stephanie Kazowz

The Savior’s Rise (The Windermere Tales #2) by Talli L. Morgan

Scorpica (The Five Queendoms #1) by Greer Macallister

Seize the Castle (A Knight’s Revenge #2) by Elizabeth Dear

Shake Things Up (Love at Knockdown #2) by Skye Kilaen

Silent Secrets (The Secrets of Sorlphi #1) by Miranda May

Silhouette and the Shadows (Silhouette #1) by Delaney Andrews

The Society For Soulless Girls by Laura Steven

So This Is Ever After by F.T. Lukens

Spin the Damn Bottle (All the Games We Play #2) by Emm Darcy

Stiletto Sins (The Order Duet #1) by Kris Butler

Stitched (Kozlov Chronicles #1) by Elena Sobol

Stone Wings (The Gargoyles of Arrington #1) by Jenn Burke

Storm the Gates (A Knight’s Revenge #1) by Elizabeth Dear

A Strange and Stubborn Endurance by Foz Meadows

Sugar Girl by Emma L. McGeown

Sweet to the Core (Lighthouse Bay #3) by Amy Aislin

Temptation Cove (Hot Takes #3) by T.S. Ankney

Tempt Me Tonight by Natasha Washington

A Tended Garden by J.P. Jackson

Thank You, Next by Andie J. Christopher

That Good Mischief (The Nine Worlds Rising #3) by Lyra Wolf

This Cursed Crown (These Feathered Flames #2) by Alexandra Overy

This Wicked Fate (This Poison Heart #2) by Kalynn Bayron

Tracking Trouble (Spellster Universe #2.5) by Aldrea Alien

The Trow of Duncaster by Melissa Polk

Twilight’s Touch (Prairie Smoke Ranch #2) by V.L. Locey

Two Rights Make a Wrong by Chloe Liese

Undeniable (Bainbridge University #4) by Andi Burns

Uninhibited (Bainbridge University #3) by Andi Burns

Unlikely Savior (For the Gods’ Amusement #3) by Catherine Lievens

Untitled (The Councillor #2) by E.J. Beaton

Us Against the World by Shayne Prescott

VAMPS: Fresh Blood by Nicole Arend

Venice (Circus After Dark #2) by Chloe Adler

Violet is Nowhere by Faith Gardner

Warrior Queen (Our Fae Queen #6) by Traci Lovelot

Warwick (Rebel Sky Ranch #4) by Kelly Fox

What’s Mine Is Yours by Willow Renee

When the Walls Come Down by Harper Robson

Wicked Beauty (Dark Olympus #3) by Katee Robert

The Wicked Love by Pru Schuyler

Wrong Hunt by J.S. Harker

Have you read any of these books? Or books with pan rep at all this year? Let me know! Happy Pan Week!

#pan week #pansexual #panromantic #pan positivity #pan pride #pan books #text #mine #long post

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