#wasnt difficult to read just felt so dense

[ghoullguy]

(ED) so i was reading this one yoi fanfic and i have some complaints bc im a bitch like that

so in this fanfic, which im not gonna name bc god forbid the author sees this and shit starts, yuuri quit skating bc of an ed

now, i have an ed. ive had several actually, since i was 11. first it was bed, which led to ana, which i'd gone into recovery for by 16, after losing a shit ton of weight and muscle, which as a figure skater, affected my skating. i relied on muscle to power me through jumps, and once i lost all the weight and my muscle, it made it difficult for me. so, i recovered. then, at 17, i injured my hip and couldnt skate for a while. this completely ruined me. i was convinced that because i had to take off time to heal, i could never compete again. i was too old, and eventually, too fat to ever be anything in the skating world. i relapsed, and the past year and a half has been a constant cycle of starving, then binging and purging. eventually, it became full on bulimia. i had a month or so back in december where i ate normally and felt normally about it, but then it came back, starving instead of purging this time. needless to say, i am experienced with eating disorders and recovery from them.

this fanfiction portrays ana as a fear of food. that is absolute bullshit. talk to any anorexic, and you'll see that people w eds fucking LOVE food. its what drives us, its all we think about. its not the food itself we're "scared" of, its the weight and what that implies about us. for me, having done ballet and skating for my entire childhood, i felt pressure to be thin so i could deserve to be a skater and a danseur. if i wasnt thin, i felt like someone pretending to be those things. that, and i have to push myself to exhaustion to feel like i deserve to eat. it is NOT a fear of food. repeatedly throughout this fic, yuuri is shown being legitimately afraid of food, even crying while eating. that is the most cliche, unrealistic portrayal of eds, and it makes the fic much worse bc of it. its a little infuriating actually, bc it shows that whoever wrote this doesnt understand the experience of actual anorexics. and before you shit talk me, saying everyone has different experiences, i have several friends, both irl and online, who also have eds. none of us have ever acted like that. ever. go on any ed forum, and no one will say thats what having ana is like. its the way the media portrays eds, not the actual reality of having an ed.

then comes the recovery arc, though arc is a kind word for it. basically, phichit and yuuri have a talk, he eats three meals that same day, and the only struggles hes shown having is gaining three pounds. now, when you have an ed, three pounds feels like thirty. i can understand that part. however, yuuri just decides to recover, and never goes back on that decision, never is shown having anxiety abt recovering. he just... starts eating. that is absolutely NOT how recovery is. then, in a later scene, he and viktor are abt to have sex. despite his prior insecurity about gaining three lbs, he shows no hesitation in showing his body to viktor. then, the morning after, he (unprompted) starts talking abt wanting pancakes. do i even have to say that this is unrealistic??? does this author not realize that the first person someone w an ed worries abt after gaining weight is their partner??? especially asking for and talking abt such calorie dense food, anyone w an ed would be worried that their partner would see them as fat, or worse, assume they were faking their ed. so yuuri, who just entered recovery, just being fine w viktor seeing him with new weight, fine w him seeing him eat food that makes you fat is just so so so wrong. it feels like this author watched to the bone once and decided they knew everything abt eds.

so, in conclusion, if ur going to write a fic w eds as a prominent plot point/character feature, make it realistic. or, better yet, DONT FUCKING DO IT IF YOU DONT HAVE AN ED. DONT WRITE ABT AN ED YOU DONT HAVE. bc u will never understand the experience of living with it and through it. if you want to read my own fanfiction abt eds, my ao3 is linked in my bio and the work is for bungou stray dogs, its called None of Your Concern.

last but not least, if u feel the need to argue w me or be mean, the block button is a couple of clicks away. if you dont use it, i will <3

#yuri on ice fanfiction #fanfiction #tw ed #ghoull rants

[i-amarobot]

Maybe I shouldnt have picked so many 800 page books to read in may

#not strictly i must read them but they are all on my list #so there is no nice little 300 page book to read in between #omg i finished revelation space after like a week #wasnt difficult to read just felt so dense #but there were times when little happened #anyway i did actually enjoy it #it just took me forever #been so long since i have read sci fi like that #also can i just say humans with tons of implant? i love that #might read the 4th murderbot next because they are always fun #also want to read under the dome but it is so chunky i am having a block #but someone said something about this book may be slightly gay? so i will push thro lads #braver than any us marine. yes i kno

[logan-is-noggin]

One Thought: Chapter 6

Summary: as the sides help Patton, Virgil makes a important discovery

Tw: mentions of vomiting, body image, eating disorders

the weeks following pattons intervention, his friends each did their part to help him recover. Logan and sometimes Virgil, made simple meals that weren't too difficult. and crackers, pb&j sandwiches, yogurt and cut up fruit. While Patton wanted to cooperate, his body hurt the more he ate, his sides cramped and he felt so bloated. roman did things with him to take his mind off of the pains. playing board games, watching his favorite cartoons, doing arts and crafts.

virgil in particular made sure he was just available. for anything patton should need, even if he wasnt in the best mood, if patton needed a hug or to talk, he would shove everything aside.

one evening after dinner, Patton and Virgil were going to play mousetrap. they were in Patton's room " I'm gonna go grab the game from the closet, ill be right back."

Patton nodded, left standing in his room, the thin voice hissed. the dark one is gone, you can finally purge yourself from the fattening things they've been filling you with. Patton wanted to object, but he caught his profile in the full mirror. It's a pity, for a while I was thinking you were actually accomplishing something. but you're just weak. a whine caught in Patton's throat as he rushed into the bathroom and closed the door.

ten minutes later, Patton opened the door, already filled with guilt, but to see Virgil sitting crossed-legged on the bed with the game on his lap, and a slight frown, Patton broke down. Virgil enveloped him instantly, trying to calm him as Patton pitifully tried to apologize. " I'm s-sorry, the voice kept saying I had t-to while I had the chance, I'm trying to get better I swear."

" patt, it's okay, relapses are bound to- wait." he stopped suddenly, pulling back from the side " what voice? is someone telling you to do all this to yourself?"

" i- I never see anyone. I just hear a- a voice, in my head."

" you need to tell me more, what does it sound like, wait, I need to get logan. please, don't move." and he darted out to alert the others.

he is such a fool- now you have another chance to rid yourself of more fat, more

" no," Patton said. no? don't you want to look better? have a better body? to be beautiful?

"that's just it, I've listened to you for so long with your promises. but every day, I look in the mirror and hate what I see, every time I throw up, my body hurts. and I'm tired of you running my life. I'm done! you might as well just leave!"

( vpov)

Virgil, roman, and logan were hurrying back up to Patton's room but from a distance, they heard Patton shouting " I'm Done! you might as well leave!" and as he finished shouting, an oily, black smoke exploded from Patton's mouth, nostrils, ears, and eyes, as the now engorged tendril swirled near the ceiling, Patton slumped to the floor unconscious.

virgil's gaze went from Patton to the cloud, and he angrily grabbed Romans katana from the prince's side and shouted at the pulsing cloud " what did you do to my friend!"

to logan and roman, the tendril sounded only like grumbling thunder, but Virgil could make out the words clearly. I only made the truth clear to him, showed him what he was self-conscious of in himself, I never forced him to do anything. Virgil with a snarl leaped up, sword in hand, and sliced through the dense cloud, it screamed as it was pierced and a blinding light shot from the center, as the mist dissipated, logan and roman rushed to Patton " we need to get him to the hospital wing." logan said sinking out, roman picked Patton up bridal style, glancing at Virgil, still on his knees, Virgil nods once, roman returns it before too, sinking down.

Virgil wasn't sure how, but he somehow made it down the hall to his room, walking in, he looks up to see the other tendrils swimming around on the ceiling like normal. on a normal day, Virgil appreciated their dancing patterns, watching them how one would watch clouds, but right now, realizing that his friend almost died, because of him, it threw Virgil into a rage. he stormed through his room screaming, ripping artwork off the walls, strings off lights off the walls, cutting his hands on the broken glass in the process, tears running down his face but he didn't care.

Virgil sat on his now littered floor curled up. his sobbing slowed into short breathy hiccups. a knock at his open door makes him glance up. roman is inside and crouching next to him " what happened? your hands." he exclaimed.

" Patton. is he?" Virgil asked as roman headed into Virgil's bathroom and came out with the bowl and several instruments.

" logans with him, he's still unconscious. but he will get better, thanks to you really." Virgil didn't wince as roman used tweezers to pluck the glass bits from his hands. pouring rubbing alcohol over them, then finally wrapping both hands in gauze.

" It was an anxiety tendril, roman. from my room. he wouldn't have gone through any of that if it wasn't for me." Virgil paused.

roman took a washcloth and wiped the ruined makeup from under Virgil's eyes. " be that as it may, as I said, you also saved him in the end. and knowing padre, he'd focus on that rather than the other facts."

roman helped the side into his bed, saying he should try and get some sleep for a bit, and that he'd come to get him if anything changed in Patton's condition.

" Thanks, I guess," Virgil said before he let himself be pulled into an exhausted sleep.

Read Next Chapter ->

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #patton angst #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #disordered eating tw

[kyvir]

Annoying and Brash

.

“Sakura, come here.”

Turning to Sasuke in surprise, Sakura quickly got up from her seat to walk over to him. They hadn’t been traveling together too long, or rather long enough for Sakura but she was thankful for every moment she had with him.

Most of the time he was his old self, quiet and laid back, though not as easily annoyed. He’d spent a lot of time coming to peace with things, mostly himself and though Sakura knew he still had a way to go, she was proud of how far he’d come and any opportunity she had to compliment him, she did so.

Being outdoors with Sasuke was nice, Sakura enjoyed it. Sleeping under the stars, sitting by a fire to keep warm at night, or even walking for hours and hours. But, when he’d suggested they take a stop at the next village, get a room and enjoy the hotsprings for a day, she was elated.

They hadn’t long finished eating a hot meal prepared by the innkeepers and both of them had been just lounging around, enjoying the rest for a while. Sasuke was now rummaging through his gear as she sat on the floor next to him. It was nice to be close, but she always wanted to be closer. These days though, she wasn’t the girl she used to be. 

Oh, she was still crazy about Sasuke, but on a whole other level. She had learned to respect him, by giving him the space he needed, and only speaking when it really mattered. It seemed to her that Sasuke appreciated this change in her, because he’d been changing too. With each day she knew he was opening up to her more and more.

“What is it, Sasuke-kun?” She asked with a smile.

He met her eyes then, no longer going through his bags. “Do you know what I did with the scroll we received this morning?”

Sakura frowned, wondering to herself why he had to call her over to him just to ask that. “It’s in my bag.” She explained. “You told me to put it up, remember?”

Sasuke seemed to think it over for a moment before he actually remembered. “Hn.” He watched her silently as she went to get the scroll out of her bag for him. “Thanks.” He muttered once he took it from her, but he immediately went to reading over it’s contents once more grumbling to himself about having to reply. 

It was apparent to Sakura that Sasuke didn’t mind receiving news from home, and he seemed amused most of the time when Naruto would sent out of meaningless letter to them. But, he did not like getting anything that he was required to respond to and anytime that happened, he complained, but he did all his complaining to himself.

“Get ready.” He told her the instant he’d finished the reply. Sakura watched him in confusion as he went to the sliding door that led to the private spring behind their room, summoned his hawk and sent it off with the scroll.

“Ready?” She questioned when he didn’t elaborate. They shouldn’t have been leaving, they hadn’t even had the chance to soak in the springs yet.

Glancing briefly at her on his way back to his bags, he grumbled, “Aren’t we going to enjoy the hotsprings while we’re here?”

Cheeks heating in surprise, Sakura blinked at his back. She’d never thought of him joining her in the springs. No, she assumed they’d take turns... or something. But, Sasuke actually wanted to get in the springs with her, Sakura nearly fainted at the thought.

Today was her lucky day.

Certainly not about to argue with him, Sakura got up and grabbed a few items before disappearing into the bathroom. She undressed immediately and then wrapped one of the large provided towels around her body. After tying up her hair next, she wet he face with cold water in a vain attempt to cool herself down. 

What if today, was actually THE DAY?

No, probably not. She’d been hopeful for far too long to be getting her hopes up and so with a sigh, she left the bathroom and walked back into the room. Sasuke was there, though still fully dressed and rummaging through his bags once more. This brought a frown to Sakura’s features, but she made no comment and instead left the room through the sliding doors to go ahead to the private spring. 

The sun was just starting to set and the air was already turning chilly outside so she couldn’t wait to sink into that hot water that called to her. Well aware that Sasuke was in the room just behind her, and could see her if he was watching, she didn’t remove her towel as she stepped into the water. Once she was submerged, she tossed the towel aside and sighed. There was nothing more relaxing to her than a nice hot soak, and it had been so long that she was determined to enjoy this.

Knelt down so the water covered her to her neck, Sakura waded around in the water. All the tightness in her muscles seemed to fade away instantly and she was so lost in the warmth and comfort of the springs that she hadn’t heard the door slide open behind her, but she did hear it close.

Turning around to look, she blushed ten shades of red when she noticed Sasuke there in nothing but a towel that he held in place around his waist. Her heart skipped several beats at the sight of him. He looked good enough to eat, but she still forced herself to turn around and give him some privacy to get in the spring.

Of course they’d both keep their distance and she didn’t expect him to keep his towel on, but she didn’t want to make herself out to be an idiot, or annoying for staring at him, and possibly drooling.

She was a nervous wreck as she heard him finally get in the water behind her and she still just couldn’t turn to look at him, for fear of losing herself. She loved him so much- and she wanted him as much as was humanly possible, but she didn’t want to be like she used to be.

“Is the water too hot for you?” Sasuke asked, startling her because he was right behind her. “You’re already red.”

It wasn’t the water, but she wasn’t sure she could admit that to him as she turned to face him hesitantly. “No, it’s f-fine. I’m fine!” She assured him, forcing out a laugh that sounded anything but natural.

Sasuke raised a brow, but made no further comments as he stared at her. Those eyes on her only made the heat she already felt expand until she was short of breath and praying she didn’t do anything to humiliate herself. Though, she was already embarrassed for how she was acting.

Needing to distance herself, and hoping that would help her to relax, she waded off away from him. He was covered to his neck in the water just as she was, but just being in the spring with him had her hot and bothered in too many ways. 

“Well... It’s nice here.” She laughed nervously, her back to him. Making small talk wasn’t something she did often these days but she just couldn’t help herself. She had to do something to diffuse her racing heart.

“Hn.”

She glared at the rocks in front of her, angry that he couldn’t entertain her with at least a few words but then she sighed, a soft smile gracing her lips. That was Sasuke, she supposed... she should have been used to it by now, but sometimes she still hoped for a little more.

Neither of them spoke for a while, and Sakura didn’t dare to turn back to face him, even as she moved around in the water she made sure to keep her eyes anywhere but in his direction and she couldn’t be sure, but she would swear she felt his eyes on her the whole time. Either way, he wasn’t saying anything and she couldn’t think of anything else to say that wouldn’t make her seem like a babbling idiot, so she remained quiet herself.

It was peaceful, relaxing- and after some time, she did calm down. Sasuke wasn’t a man to make any sudden moves and she knew things would be moving slowly between them, so she tried not to think about what could happen, and instead focus on what actually was happening. She was with Sasuke, he’d brought her along on his traveling, just as he’d promised. This time was precious to her, it didn’t matter if he never said he loved her, if he never touched her aside from a poke to her forehead on occasion, or even if he didn’t speak much at all.

This was nice and she would enjoy the slow pace of their relationship- if it could be called a relationship... no, she was sure they had something special. She’d felt it since the moment he’d left the village after that simple, heartfelt promise. She’ s known he’d changed ever since he apologized to her after his and Naruto’s fight after the war. 

Sasuke was trying. In the smallest of ways, he was leaving his past behind and moving forward, and he was doing it with her. To some, that might not seem like much, but to Sakura... it was everything.

“Sakura?” He called to her, disturbing her train of thoughts, though mostly because he was right behind her again.

She whirled around in surprise, emerald eyes wide as she looked to him, barely a few inches from her. With a squeak, she backed away a few steps, highly aware of her nakedness, and his as well. His eyes narrowed on her when she moved away like that, as if he didn’t take to kindly to her reaction.

“Does it bother you that much... for me to be here with you?”

Gaping at him, Sakura’s mouth opened to deny it, but she found that she couldn’t speak. His words hit her like a ton of bricks, because he wasn’t saying them like she was bothered as she was, no he meant them as if his presence alone bothered her. As if she didn’t want him around, and that wasn’t how she felt at all.

“I’ll go then.” He told her when she didn’t respond, taking her silence as an affirmative.

“No, wait!” She stopped him by reaching out and grabbing a hold of his hand. Thankfully, she didn’t accidentally grab anything else. She was blushing up to her ears when he glanced back at her. “It doesn’t bother me... not like you think it does.”

“Oh?” He turned back to face her and just as she went to release his hand, he took hers in his instead. “Then what’s the problem?”

Sakura sighed, unable to believe Sasuke could really be that dense. Maybe he was just trying to feign ignorance, and she thought that to make more sense. But, she still couldn’t be sure. He was hard to understand and it often made things difficult for her, but she really didn’t mind. She loved Sasuke for everything he was, and even everything he wasn’t.

“Scared I’ll see you naked?” He smirked after a moment, and she paled. He’d hit the nail on the head, and the way he smirked about it did strange things to her body. Things she liked but wasn’t used to. “That’s it then?” He shook his head at this, his smirk only growing stronger. “It really shouldn’t bother you.”

Sakura blinked rapidly at him then he tugged her hand and pulled her flush against him, their unclothed bodies coming into contact for the first time. It had been so unexpected that Sakura could say nothing, she couldn’t even think. The feel of their hot skin on each other was so electric, even in the heat, she shivered. 

“I’ve seen it all before.” He admitted, only adding to the blush staining her cheeks. How, or when she had no idea, but there was no way she could question him. She didn’t think she had a voice anymore. “I am a man, you know... If it’s within sight, I’m going to look.”

“Whaaaa-?” Sakura wiggled in his arms, on the verge of fainting. She couldn’t believe he would even say such a thing, much less believe those words. When was her naked body within his sight? She was so caught up in the moment that she couldn’t think, or question him about it.

Sasuke’s lone hand slowly pulled away from her back and instead came to cradle her cheek. He looked into her eyes with a tender look she’d never seen before, a look that pulled at her heartstrings and made her already shallow breathing become more labored.

He was so close... too close for her heart to handle and yet not as close as she would have liked. Was he going to kiss her? He sure looked like it, with the way he stared into her eyes so heatedly, the way his hand cradled her cheek- not to mention the fact that those very lips she’d dreamt about kissing her were only a few inches away. 

That was it, she couldn’t help herself and there was no going back as she lifted her arms and wrapped them around his neck and closed the distance between them, sealing her lips against his. 

For it to have been a moment she dreamed about her entire life, there was nothing that could have prepared her for this actual moment. To taste those lips. To feel them move against her own. To hear the low groan rumble from his chest at the contact. She was lost, she was so far gone and blissed out that Kami could have taken her right then and damn it, she’d have been happy.

She wasn’t thinking when she went for the kiss, it was so sudden, an instinct really- but she wasn’t one to go crazy like this, kissing him like her life depended on it, like she’d known exactly what she was doing. However, the longer she kissed him, and the more he responded to her lips, the more she got into it. She couldn’t stop, too enraptured by this moment, by the feel of that hard body against hers, by the strong way he kissed her back, fingers digging against her scalp.

As if things hadn’t been steamy enough out there, the heat only intensified with each touch of their lips, with each slight brush of tongues. Time had seemed to stop for them, only picking back up again when Sasuke broke the kiss. Sakura whimpered a protest but she was panting and desperately trying to catch her breath. Sasuke was in no better shape than she.

“Sasuke...kun.” She breathed, hooded eyes gazing at him with adoration. 

Sasuke stared back at her, both his sharingan and rinnegan taking her in. She was mesmerized by that gaze. She’d never told him before but those eyes, she loved. Well, she loved everything about him, but there was something about those eyes that drew her in and made her never want to look away.

Suddenly she felt dizzy, overwhelmed with emotion. Did that kiss really even happen, was he naked and seriously right against her, letting her truly feel him for the first time and whoa- when did her legs end up wrapped around his waist and why was she just noticing everything? How could she ever be distracted enough not to notice his member pressing against her bottom, that wasn’t even possible, and yet... here she was, just noticing it. 

She was just willing herself not to faint then and there when he pulled his hand away slowly and then easily forced her legs from around him, turning away from her the instant he was free.

“Sasuke-kun?” She whispered behind him, in shock from their actions and even more-so by the fact that he was scurrying out of the water as if it scalded him. 

“That shouldn’t have happened.” He grumbled once he was out of the spring. He’d moved so fast that he was standing there, watching her, his towel wrapped around his waist and she hadn’t even seen him step out.

Those words hurt, she was wounded and ashamed and outright pissed that he could even say that. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She demanded, their steamy moment forgotten. Now she just glared at him as he watched her thoughtfully before turning away.

“Just what I said.”

And with those words, he left her alone and returned into the room.

Sakura was so angry, nearly destroyed. Did that mean that he wasn’t interested in her after all? Was he annoyed that she’d come onto him so strongly... but then, it didn’t make any sense. She’d never been really kissed before, but she could still tell that he was responding well enough. He kissed her back with a desperation she would not soon forget and that wasn’t all... His body gave him away, so he wasn’t going to deny it, he wasn’t going to make out like it was one big mistake and she was crazy for even imagining he’d want her. His earlier words were convincing enough.

She wasn’t going to let him do that to her. Refusing to let herself punch anything and demolish it, she got out of the spring herself, wrapped her towel around her body and stormed her way back into their room. He would be answering to her whether he liked it or not!

He was dressed now, lounging back on the bed with his arm behind his head. His eyes met hers when she came to stand at the end of the bed, pouting and glaring at him as if she hated his guts. At that moment, she thought it was possible. He didn’t seem to like the way she looked at him because he turned his head away, his eyes closing as if to ignore her completely.

“Put some clothes on.” He muttered before she could say anything and this affronted her. She only became more angry.

“Excuse me?” She nearly shouted, her voice raised further than she intended. 

Sasuke sighed and rolled on his side as if to dismiss her completely. She only rounded the bed to stand before him, unwilling to let it go. She let a lot of things go, but this would not be one of them.

“Sakura.” He called her name as a warning and her fists clenched at her sides. 

“Don’t you ‘Sakura’ me... you... you...!” Exasperated, she flung her hands around before securing them on her hips. “I can’t believe you. Really.”

It was too much for her and he anger was dissipating all too quickly, depression taking over. She was sick and tired of getting her hopes up. She was over being humiliated and hurt. With her eyes stinging, she turned away from him, deciding it would only hurt her worse if she even tried to question him. His answers would probably be too much for her to bear and so she walked away.

Biting her lip to the point of pain, she dug through her bags until she found some clean clothes and then stormed into the bathroom. That’s when her tears fell and she didn’t fight them immediately. She dressed as quickly as she could, sobbing quietly as she did but as soon as she was ready, she sucked it up, drying her tears completely before leaving the bathroom and finding her boots.

“What are you doing?” Sasuke asked quietly, though with a tone that was commanding. 

Sakura ignored him as she slipped on her boots and secured them around her legs. She didn’t answer to anybody, not even him- especially not right then.

“Don’t ignore me.” He demanded, on his feet then as she walked to the door.

“I’m going out.”

“No.”

Mouth falling open as she stared at the door, unable to believe after what he did and said that she would ever sit around here with him, she actually laughed. “No?” She shook her head in her laughter. “Watch me.”

Before he could stop her, she hurried out of the room and slammed the door shut behind her. Though she doubted very seriously that he’d follow her, she still suppressed her chakra and went as quickly as she could to get out of there. She couldn’t be around him right then, she just needed some time to herself.

She soon found herself at the local tavern, drowning her sorrows in alcohol. She felt like such a fool, thinking it possible that she and Sasuke were finally about to take one huge step in their lives together. But no, that wasn’t happening. It had only been wishful thinking, just as if always had been.

She’d been the only single one out of her friends for years and most of them were even married by then and yet here she was, still chasing the most difficult man who so apparently didn’t want her. Never had. He was just being nice by letting her join him on his travels. It’s why he never made any moves, why he never spoke as if there was anything more between them. She was so miserable now that she wasn’t sure just being with him and being his friend would be enough for her anymore. She was only hurting herself.

Why couldn’t she just move on with her life? She could probably easily find a normal man who would love to have her, and not think twice about making things official with her... but then, they wouldn’t be Sasuke. Sighing in defeat, she finished what was left of her drink and groaned. The place was surprisingly busy and it would probably be forever before she could get another one. The whole universe must have been against her, she was sure.

“Need a drink?” A deep voice asked and she looked up to see the face of a man who was vaguely familiar. She raised a delicate brow when he slid into the booth across from her as if he’d been invited before handing her a fresh drink. “You’re Sakura.” He said, his hazel eyes shining as he admired her. 

“How do you know me?” She asked, taking the offered drink without much thought on the matter. The guy looked familiar, but she didn’t know him. She couldn’t even be sure if he was a shinobi.

“Well, everyone knows you. But you saved my life during the war... I never got a chance to thank you personally, so thank you.”

Her mood brightening, she smiled over at him then. “There’s no need to thank me. I was just doing my job.”

“Don’t be so modest.” He said, grinning at her and surprisingly enough, even though he wasn’t Sasuke- she actually found him attractive. “Thanks to you I was able to make a full recovery. What you did for me was exceptional.”

“Oh, thanks.” Sakura blushed then, flattered by how ardently he praised her. “What’s your name?”

“Oh, forgive me. I’m Aito.” He told her, a smile still on his face as he offered her his hand. 

“Well it’s nice to meet you, Aito.” She told him sweetly while shaking his hand and quickly returning to her drink.

“You’re a long way from home, what brings you to this small village? I’m actually from the Land of Lightning. I just finished a mission and stopped by here for a night to myself before returning home.”

“Oh, that’s nice... I’m on a mission as we speak, actually.” Sakura told him nonchalantly, being as vague as she could. “Though I’m starting to really miss home.”

“Really?” He sipped his drink, his eyes never leaving her. “I kind of like traveling. I want to see the world, you know?”

Sakura nodded. She understood completely and up until that night, she’d felt the same way. Especially being at Sasuke’s side, there was nothing better than traveling and seeing the world one place at a time. But now, she didn’t even want to think about Sasuke, she probably shouldn’t have come to start with. It was all a set up. She’d fallen in love with him all over again only to be crushed into dust. 

He hated her... and she was starting to hate herself.

“Don’t look so down,” Aito laughed nervously. “I’m sorry. You must really be down about being so far from home.”

“I guess.” Sakura smiled and sighed. It was nice to have a normal conversation with a guy who was obviously attracted to her. He didn’t look bad, far from it and a part of her wished she didn’t love Sasuke so much. If she didn’t, she would probably make a pass at the guy herself. 

But who was she kidding... she’d loved Sasuke for as long as she could remember.

The sound of someone clearing their throat shook her out of her thoughts, and she turned to see Sasuke glaring harshly, though not at her, but at Aito. Something about the look in his eyes made her nervous. Very nervous.

“Problem?” Aito asked, glaring back at Sasuke. Sakura could understand his frustration at being looked at in such a way by a stranger who’d showed up out of nowhere so suddenly, but she didn’t want the guy to make any mistakes that would lead to her healing him once again, so she knew it would be best if she calmed the rising tension.

“Get lost.” Sasuke told him coldly, his glare only intensifying.

“Are you going to make me?” Aito smirked then, as if he was completely unbothered by the threatening look Sasuke was giving him.

“Whoa!” Sakura reached out and took a hold of Sasuke’s hand that had instantly reached for his sword. “Calm down, Sasuke-kun.”

“Sasuke?” Aito questioned, brows furrowing. “As in... Uchiha Sasuke?”

Sasuke smirked then, obviously pleased with the way the guys face fell, but when Sakura pulled her hand away from his and stood, his attention was on her instead. “Forgive me, Aito. It was nice talking to you, but I must go.”

“Uh... Right.” He nodded, not even daring to look in her direction again. 

Sakura paid no mind to his change in attitude as she gave Sasuke a sharp look before making her way out of the small tavern, knowing full well he was right behind her.

It was late by then, she realized as she started heading back towards the inn. Leave it to Sasuke to be sure to keep her depressed. She wasn’t interested in the guy, her heart would have never allowed it, but it was nice to have a distraction from her love crisis. Now she had no choice but to return to the inn and be around Sasuke, who only seemed to want to destroy her feelings.

She’d been walking so fast in her frustration that she made it back way ahead of him. She closed the door behind her, sighing for the umpteenth time of the night. Maybe she was over reacting to it all. This was Sasuke she was dealing with, and she’d known him for a long time. She knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t one to just act on impulses. Nothing was rushed with him. But still, she was hurt by his earlier words and saddened by the feeling of rejection he’d given her. 

After taking her boots off, she started stripping on her way to the door leading to the private spring. She would escape him no matter what. She did not want to face him. She did not want to know his answers, or excuses. All she wanted was some time alone, or... some time without Sasuke. As long as he was being an ass, she didn’t want to deal with him at all.

After getting in the water, she waded to the other side and rested against the rocks, her head lolling back as she groaned in misery. Why did her life have to be so messed up? Why couldn’t she just be happy? She’d waited on Sasuke for so long, and now he was there, she was with him... and yet she still wanted more. She wasn’t supposed to act like this. She’d been disciplining herself for years and yet... she just couldn’t help how she felt.

“Sakura,” She heard him call just after the sound of the sliding door opening. With her eyes closed, she didn’t bother responding and she was not about to look at him. “Don’t make me come in there.”

“Go ahead. You don’t intimidate me.” She muttered. That wasn’t entirely true, Sasuke was the definition of intimidating, but she didn’t fear him and she wasn’t bowing down this time. Though she did wish he’d just leave her be as he would any other time.

That wasn’t going to happen she realized, hearing his clothing drop to the ground, one piece at a time. She swallowed hard, forcing her eyes to remain closed even as she heard him enter the water ahead of her. She couldn’t believe it, he was actually getting in. He was coming closer and when he finally stood before her in the water, she let her eyes finally open.

The water just came up to cover his waist and he stood tall and confident, his naked upper body making her swoon slightly. Surprisingly when she met his gaze, she found no anger there. Instead he was looking at her apologetically, but she didn’t like it so she looked away, sinking even deeper into the water until it was up to her chin.

“You’re always taking thing to the extreme.” 

“Me?” She scoffed. If anybody took things to the extreme, it was him. 

“That’s right.”

“Get out.” 

“Fine.”

Sakura squealed in surprise when Sasuke leaned down and scooped her over his shoulder with his lone arm. She was all too aware of her nakedness then, even more-so than she’d been earlier that evening.

“What are you doing, put me down!” She was stunned, and embarrassed as she struggled against him, naked as the day she was born.

“Getting out, and no.”

“This is no way to treat a lady.” Sakura argued as he walked out of the spring with her over his shoulder. He carried her inside, his arm wrapped firmly around her thighs. 

“Well you aren’t being very ladylike.”

“Oh and you’re a perfect gentleman?”

Sasuke didn’t answer, instead he slowly brought her back to her feet, sliding her body close against his the whole way and even after she was standing again, he held her naked body flush against his own. She was certain he could feel her heart pounding, and if he couldn’t, then he could definitely hear it. She stared up at him, trying desperately to ignore the feel of him against her.

“You’re making it damn hard to be.”

She rolled her eyes then, caring about the way their bodies were touching less and less by the second. “Aren’t you a little too close for your own comfort?” She hissed.

“Tch. Clueless.” He glared down at her.

“Just leave me alone.” She said, breaking away from him then. She didn’t even bother covering herself, or trying to hide her nakedness and neither did he. But they were both distracted enough not to be paying it any attention. 

“No, I’ve had enough of this. You take things the wrong way and then blow them way out of proportion. Read between the damn lines for once, Sakura.”

“Read between the lines?” She muttered, glaring up at him. “Read between the lines?!”

Sasuke sighed and ran his hand through his hair in exasperation. “I shouldn’t have to spell it out.”

“Don’t bother.” She turned her nose up to him and went to walk off but he stopped her, his hand grabbing her arm firmly. 

“I want you...I do.” He admitted quietly. She stiffened but didn’t turn back to him, but she didn’t snatch away from his grasp either. “It didn’t just happen, I’ve wanted you for... a while.”

“Then... why?” She whispered brokenly, so confused. On the verge of tears again, she bit her lip and tried her best to remain calm.

“It’s just... well... I want to marry you first.”

“You... wh- what...” She swooned, feeling suddenly weak in the knees and also slightly lightheaded. She was sure she’d heard him wrong, but before she could say anything more, her vision blurred and she toppled forward, losing her state of consciousness. 

“Sakura... Sakura, are you okay?”

“Huh?” Groggily she woke, her eyelids fluttering open. Sasuke was right above her from where she lay in bed, his face merely inches away. “Kyaaaa!” She blushed beet red and pushed him away with such force he was slammed against the wall five feet away. “Oh no.”

Realizing what she’d done, she sprang out of bed, still in her birthday suit though she hadn’t noticed as she ran to Sasuke who was naked as well, but even that she didn’t notice as the medic in her took over. He groaned, his hand clutching the back of his head.

“I’m so sorry! Let me see.” She pulled his hand away, her brows furrowing as she moved her hands behind his head and quickly began healing the lump that was forming there.

Slowly his eyes opened to hers and looked to him apologetically, her lips set in a tight frown. “Must be something wrong with me... wanting to marry such a brute.”

Sakura’s face scrunched up and she inhaled sharply at his words. “You surprised me, and you were so close and... wait. Did you really mean that?”

“Yes, you’re a brute.” He said, wincing when she stopped healing him suddenly. She hadn’t finished the job.

“Not that!” She snapped.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Yes, I meant it. I want to marry you.” He growled out, averting his eyes bashfully.

With cheeks pink as her hair, a goofy grin came to Sakura’s face then. “Really?” She couldn’t believe it. It was too good to be true.

“Really. And only then will I have you. So get over it.”

“Wha-” She floundered for a moment before finally bursting into a fit of giggles. 

Sasuke truly was one of a kind. Never in a million years would she have expected marriage to be on his mind, or that he’d want to marry her before taking her to bed. Surprisingly, the thought wasn’t disappointing at all. If that was what she had to wait on, she could definitely be patient. She wanted Sasuke so desperately, in every way and she finally knew that in some miraculous way, she had him.

“I think I can accept that.” She told him after a moment, though she was still grinning like an idiot as she went to finish healing the lump on the back of his head.

“Good.” Was all he said, but by then, he was grinning back at her.

.

#sasusaku #ssfanfiction #ssfandom #ss-tyytyy #oneshot #sasuke uchiha #sakura haruno #lime #sasusaku fanfic #sasusaku fanfiction #ss fanfic

[travelinghermit]

Ciudad Perdida: The Lost City

Just a quick summary of my time in the Sierra Nevada trekking into the jungle to discover the Lost City.

I had no idea this place even existed until everyone was talking to me about it around Colombia. Ciudad Perdida is an ancient city that was once inhabited 1300 years ago around 700 a.d. by the ancestors of the present indigenous peoples named Kogi peoples. I worked it out and this is the most ancient site I have ever visited. Older than the Angkor Wat temples in Siem Reep, Camnodia by 600 years or so. This ancient city rests near the top of a mountain surrounded by beautiful dense vegetation and forrests. I dont think my eyes has ever seen such a spectrum of differing shades of green. The site was just discovered 40 years ago in 1976 and the story of its discovery could be made into a movie of its own, filled with gold, betrayal and murder.

As we reached the the beginning of the Lost City after climbing 1200 steps in total darkness before dawn I was a little let down as the site is mainly piles of rocks around circles where once they lived in circular huts. But then I realised how old it was and then couldnt believe how well preserved the stones were. The civilization that lived there were hunters and gatherers yet could still make gold. I feel the Gold Museum in Bogota was the perfect prelude to get me ready for the information on this lost civilization. I find ancient civilizations fascinating and trekking three days in the jungle to get there made it feel like we were some real explorers.. the hordes of other trekkers kinda ruined that though. We did get one if not the best guides though who was one of the original guides to the city Carlos starting in 1978. My group got up at 430am and got to the site before any other group so we had the site all to ourselves for half an our or so which was super awesome.

There were some obvious weird instances like getting to meet a “shaman” a medicine man. Ive been reading about them in my book so I was really excited and was hoping to ask questions. But the guy came out and ended up trying to sell us some wrist bands saying it was “goodluck” and then left. That wasnt the only theatrical tourist stunt either which was completely unnecessary and made parts of the trek feel cheap and inauthentic. I get the natives want to make some money but man that was such horse shit.

Some good aspects were the gorgeous Colombian scenery of the Sierra Nevada. Which years ago was used as one of the largest growing locations of marajuana and coca plants but since the police air raided their crops and tourism has come they make money off that now and have gone legal. But of course im sure they still grow it just not the same quantity. Also the rivers we swam in were as pristine as you can get, with one spot coming right out of a movie. It had a cliff diving spot and a cool rope swing. My fear of high diving is being crushed by the day. Its not the diving high up that gets me its not knowing whats below and how deep the water is.

The terrain was a bit of a challenge with long stretches of straight inclines and declines and all in between. I think after trekking in Nepal I can hike anywhere. It was enjoyably difficult as when it was all over I felt like I earned the views and the lost city. Also my group was really awesome except an older Swedish couple who had horrible english and kept asking dumb questions over and over and then blaming the translator because they didnt understand.

Overall I am very glad I went on the trek even with the steep price tag. It was a cool experience and I really want to do more trekking in the future.