#we need to be open to that shit again

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

#toronto maple leafs #HELLO EVERYBODY THIS HAS BEEN MONTHS!!! MONTHS IN THE MAKING BECAUSE i AM UNHINGED AND NEEDED THE PRECISE PICTURES THAT I KNEW I WOULD GET #like. seventy five percent of this has been done since the first time i posted this and while it has gotten better with time because #my narratives simply got more complex and there's so much of this that is For Me but don't worry i will explain but aLSO goddamn mitch coul #you have gotten married any later in the year. also willy you truly disappointed me by not getting an absurd haircut this year (now that #i've said this he's going to debut it on instagram like. tomorrow. but anyway that meant y'all got to enjoy my neuroses of #Loving Tyler Bertuzzi who is a goddamn leaf. the joys of having to wait to post this (was not a leaf at the time i started it) and anyway i #have at length i think had the breakdown about tyler in pigtails girl dad & how i got a bob & then tyler copied me which was rude. that's m #gender. ANYWAY starting from the top we got sheldon keefe documentation which was really just the personal decision that i wanted all the #coaching staff to be the markers in the poem/the bold & also at the TIME keefe hadn't re-signed &we thought it might be everybody out w/kyl #anyway the title of the scrap of an old lover's flannel is literally 'u think this is about sheldon & kyle NO it's about timothy liljegren' #bc. liljegren was on the marlies winning cup team & has had a contentious relationship w/keefe ever since & was healthy scratched in playof #& the narrative is sooooo. also at one point for the ryan o'reilly i was going to edit the stlb out of his grandma's shirt or cover it w/th #childhood dreams line but THEN i found the gio snapped stick one which was too perfect for 'crumbling copy' the ryan o'reilly To Me is so. #ur insane in ways u did not think for that one. like. how soft her hands were. his grandma you guys. he grew up a leafs fan. if he ever get #to lift the cup with her again i will lose my shit. the cup run a movie i remember nothing--OKAY the spezz one i knew i needed him stresse #but also i believe in the spezz/kyle narrative so. it comes up later don't worry ALSO SPEZZ FOLLOWING HIM TO PITT CAME AFTER I MADE THIS bu #the muzz tea one makes me a little sensy bc muzz was out with an injury for most of this season & it was a really scary spinal one & so yea #& then the simmer one just straight up makes me cry bc i love him so much & the work that he does for anti-racism in hockey means so much & #if you have that video open & watch it i promise you will cry i do every time it's so beautiful he had to be on comforted by beauty & sammy #boy is on the a man who doesn't know me because EYE remember the caps goalie tandems. baby lilya. the mo one is a little funny bc it is #solely due to wade's thread about mo rielly the coal miner homestead husband. that's why he moves to omaha also i think it suits him (quiet #OK NOW OLD MEN IN LOVE NARRATIVE this one's in contention for my fave bc it's spezz coping w/retirement fundamental meaningless of existenc #u heard abt tyler already that's for me the minchy picture was just too good i had found it earlier & i spent SO LONG looking for an empty #leafs rink picture for bathtub i have some cool construction photos but i wanted the melting ice ones (thought about tahoe lol) & the sprin #one i manip'd a lot bc i needed a spring picture bc playoffs clinch in spring & that one fit so coincidentally perfect bc it's 7 straight #seasons 7 guys so. :) & i KNEW i swore to god they did more milk advertising i knew i was gonna do this one from the minute i saw the poem #the milk patch & it took a hot minute BUT I FOUND THIS ONE this one's for funsies. AND THE PIC I WAITED SO FUCKING LONG FOR this is actuall #from kerf's wedding but i was like i know on god mitch is getting married this summer & that's about to be the drunkest shenanigans wedding #i'm waiting for the pics. & then i was BLESSED with this one which is beautiful & perfect & LOOK AT THEM. anyway the last one is bc

[tvuniverse]

Listen i just want to preface this by saying I don't even personally hate Tommy, but that's not really the point i want to make so here goes nothing.

The way a lot of people act as if it's impossible to dislike him because the characters have moved on so so should we, right? and that's the thing right here, as poc we're always being told to move on. We can't express our feelings, we can't hold grudges, we can't complain about issues without making it something more than it is, we always have to just... move on.

I know people are going to say it's just a show, it's not that serious, but the issues it touches on and the way fandom speaks on those issues are.

I've seen a lot of comparisons between Tommy and other mains, how each of them are flawed and have screwed up one way or another, and you're right, but it's still unfair to compare him to them. We've seen each of the main characters experience guilt, or be ashamed of their action, we've seen them apologise, put in the work to actually grow, and they have. There's not enough time in an episode for us to see that for side characters. In this case, Tommy didn't do any of the above and that's normal, he was a plot device to show some very real societal issues, and especially what people of colour/women might go through in the workplace, and once he served his purpose he didn't get much more beyond a few scenes where it seemed like everything was fine between him and chim/hen. It would be more appropriate to compare him to the buckley parents, (who appeared in more or less the same amount of episodes) like if people suddendly started saying no one is allowed to hate them because they got their redemption, their kids more or less forgave them, they more or less tried to be better parents. And yet it's still not enough for a lot of people, because how they treated their children, the shit they've said to them, hits a little too close to home for a lot of people and so no matter what the show says or does, they'll still be mostly hated by the audience, and that's more than okay. But if margaret buckley is your favourite character than by all means be my guest. And listen, i love this show, it's all about hope, and it means everyone gets a redemption arc, as short as it is (sometimes even just a sentence lol), but we won't always be satisfied with these arcs, especially if they don't feel proportional to the hurt the characters may have caused to our mains, so we'll all have different reactions to them.

I swear liking a morally ambiguous/grey character says absolutely nothing about you, but making excuses for them, antagonising people who might dislike them (for good reasons) or acting like suddenly triggers don't exist for people, does say something about you. One of my favourite characters is literally the worst person ever, an actual bigot, but i won't ever write essays about why people are not allowed to dislike him actually because he's my babygirl.. i very much understand why people would.

All of this to say, everyone will have different opinions about Tommy. Some might love him, some will be completely neutral or at worst slightly uncomfortable/bothered by him, and some will straight up hate him, and all of these are fine. Live and let live, love whoever you want to love, and hate whoever you want to hate, but please stop trying to dictate how others should feel, i'm begging. And this really does go both ways.

#i never ever get involved in fandom discourse. ever #my blog is my safe space and so i just want to reblog some silly gifs of my silly little characters and move on about my day #but nothing gets to me more than being told to 'move on' #anyway i know the casual (and not so casual) racism is rampant in this fandom but boy has this week been hell #but just another week in this fandom i guess #(also i know some people hate him just because of buck/eddie and this is a whole other discourse i won't get into) #anti tommy kinard #not really but just in case #fandom discourse #also i said dehumanisation because that's what he did to chimney #acting like people don't exist until they do something that's beneficial to you and that's when you'll finally treat them as human beings #that shit hurts like crazy but it doesn't get talked about enough tbh #and that's also kind of why i think it's hard to know if he's really Grown or if it's just a case of 'these people are the exception' #and we can't really know until we actually see him interact with other minorities #but that's just my opinion #also i know we're all tired of this discourse and i'm sorry to bring it back but every day i've opened this app and saw something about it #and closed it right up lmao #i just needed to get this off my chest once and for all #i'll go back to never getting involved in fandom discourse again #anyhoo #i'll probably delete this at some point knowing myself

[sualne]

Just saw your head bonk comic so are you better????? You went to a doc right??

my forehead is fine 👍 ive seen a doctor who actually listen (incredible shit) and im going to have to do another test (😔) and MRIs (😱) cause doc want to see if smth is pressing on my optic nerve (🫣)

#i just wokeup snd its fibeam. huh i did split open my forehead like three other tikes after thst #sound dramatic. VERY tiny scratches. Teeny tiny. all healed. #will keep updated if we find smth. if not then silence till we do idk. #it was epic tho. seeing a doctor who looked at my results and immediatly said ‘hm. thats not normal.’ and went on to order some tests!! #thats so different from ‘heh. doesnt even look That bad. dont worry about its nothing at all’ after going back and forth for half a year #unfortunately it cost money. sort of reumboursed ish but might make commish again if i need it #for a while i was starting to think ‘hey. maybe nothing is jappenîg and im exagerating. but doc went ‘thats not normal’ and im like oh #there IS smth happening agter all. this isnt like. me making it up. doc immediatly caugh on my right beong shit. yeayy #shouldng maybe andwer ask ag five am

[thebest-medicine]

.

#I am so like ???? at my current living situation lol? #straight up ask my partner to tickle me #no #um ok can you like trace your hand on my arms or my back #barely does for a few seconds #can we cuddle #no you can lay near me #like???? how does this bitch live? #don’t get into relationships and be financially dependent kids #I’m bout to start having sessions again and being more open on here because like this is some insane shit #personal #ignore me #I’m just like #how #I’ve explained by the fucking skin of my teeth repeatedly that I need physical touch and interaction and that is my love language and #that being tickled is more important to me than literally anything like fuck food fuck sex fuck everything that isnt being tickled AHDHFJGJ #I didn’t explain it that intensely but like #yeah #ranting in the tags #goodbye #somehow we got here and three years have gone by and I’m like ?? what did I just spend my time doing lmfao #yucky real life things

[victimized-martyr]

Are you optimistic about season 26?

erm um… no?? 🥲

Season 25 and Streaming Wars had their moments, but overall the delivery of ideas felt lackluster. Much like the last 2 years, I expect a running theme. Essentially, the season won’t really be a season per se, but acts as narrative buildup interspersed with side episodes—though they will loosely connect to the season—leading up to the 2 specials airing later this year. It’s a solid game plan on paper, but s25/SW was super dodgy. I feel the saving grace was Tolkien’s renaming, and Cartman’s whole hot dog arc thing that just got set up. I know Randy was given competition (finally! the little resistance and pushback to his hijinks has done serious damage to his character) but really the biggest takeaway I’ve seen from fans/merch is stuff from Cartman’s arc. (cartitties).

However, I feel Matt and Trey have been revitalized by the concert, Casa Bonita’s opening, and their deepfake deal. It’s a double edged sword though, because now Mattrey are juggling the opening of a restaurant, production for the video game, their deepfake studio… I’m worried their attention will be divided and affect the quality of the story this season.

TLDR: Very mixed feelings, though not quite approaching cautiously optimistic… I expect the fresher ideas (HotDog) to get sidelined and Randy will remain in focus.

#south park #I’ve no doubt ​Trey will apply his patented Two Sides: Rivalry setup between Steve and Randy #and their rivalry will take up like. 60% of the plot #and Trey can be a lil shit so i’m ready for when he’ll be like ‘yeah it’s the randy show again deal with it fuckheads🤪’ #meanwhile the more interesting arc is sitting. right. there. in the bg #a buddy and I were realizing Cartman has been taking a turn these past few years and the hotdog is the culmination of that #his motivations are transparent to those closest to him (butters+ liane in s25) and he’s frustrated by his #inability to adapt #Liane’s putting her foot down so that will be VERY interesting to see how the Cartman family dynamic will evolve #and we expect the boys to start closing off Cartman for taking advantage of their kindness #idk. he’s losing his grip on liane and he needs to lose his grip on his friends. I think we’re gonna start to see the latter #I think?? Trey is taking him.. well not towards redemption but… somewhere??? #and I do wanna see stan and tolkien hang out more and maybe that’ll cement the changes in the group dynamic #or maybe it’ll only affect the bus stop openings lol idk #I do feel their friendship is delicate rn and Help My Teen was a step but there’s more re-bonding left to do #and the physical separation of them all is gonna make that a bit more difficult #it’d be nice to see a growing dynamic between Kyle and Kenny. we have! no episodes centered on their dynamic!! #they give me the impression of ‘oh we’re good buddies but only hang with a group and never outside of it’ #they’re the weakest relationship of the 4 for sure and these circumstances can remedy that! #…. watch trey do absolutely nothing with kyle and kenny except have them be reactionary :’) #asks

[ilonacho]

it hit me what makes me the most miserable abt my work week is how it’s just school all over again. just hanging in there until the weekend. repeat. repeat. repeat

#5 outta 7 days im at work. 2 days of freedom #2 days to do chores n run errands n relax n sleep n draw n catch up w/ friends n go places #and if u gotta reschedule itll be weeks before ur available again #like for months now ive tried to get together w/ friends but our days off dont match n shit keeps coming up #not to mention im fucking tired! im exhausted! i want to sleep in and then draw the rest of the day! #i think the worst part is that back in school.. at least it didnt matter as much? because it all led to an end aka graduation? #like i didnt mind the wait for next weekend as much cuz it was temporary #like eventually ill graduate and then ill have freedom! (i thought? for some reason??) #but now its like.. the weeks are going by so fast this year is already almost over i turn 26 in 2 weeks #and this is.. the rest of my life? like youre kidding right? this cant be it? #i get off work n then i have to take care of the cats n chores n then eat dinner n then shower n then its late and i gotta sleep #before work the next day. i dont have time nor energy to rly do anything #and ill get that feeling of like. oh well at least it brings me closer to the next ‘weekend’ #but i dont wanna live weekend to weekend #i mean im thankful to have a job n coworkers i love like i truly hate it there sometimes but i also am happy and thankful for it #but yknow.. it shouldnt have to be like this #i worded this so much better in the shower but im tired of feeling like school part 2 like what the fuck man #ive had work every single day since we came back from our trip n i just dont have time/energy for anything #i need to open commissions back up but i havent even gotten around to starting one a friend asked for #not to mention this years christmas card ive barely got the sketch done for #and again. my favourite holiday. halloween is on tuesday and while we did plan halloweeny stuff it just has not felt like halloween #i havent had any ideas/energy/time for any halloweeny art #+chores n errands etc lmao we havent even been to the grocery store yet (calling us out here) #it just. suuuuucks aaaaaass man the world is so beautiful life is a gift i dont wanna spend it like this

[maxellminidisc]

Silly but the DūnM3sh nonsense around the last episode has me thinking about how like idk mostly white autistic folks (of the vairety who are not in need of higher assistance) online act like ALL autistic folks exhibit the exact same symptoms and behaviors in social settings when like I find mostly other poc and a lot of women regardless of race have very different experiences with the sort of "stereotypical" reaction and behavior that's most often associated with autism. Which leads to a lot of you assuming we are neurotypical and then this line of thinking extends into your reading of autistic characters, be they headcanons or canon characters. Rest of this is going under a read more

Like idk for a poc, theres already very little grace given to us in social situations, especially when around white people. You guys dont realize but we are consistently aware that no matter what, when we enter a space with y'all there will always be an internal bias present in white people that will deem any behavior of confrontation as inherently aggressive or mean.

So we learn to navigate social situations with an already high level of need to analyze so many of the behaviors and cues of the people around us out of complete necessity. Neurodivergency or not, this becomes a matter of survival. And for some people, like me, the need to do this and possibly avoid and save yourself the pain of having people who's racism is a potential harm to you becomes a priority in your brain more than anything else you have going on. You cant completely shut everything else out about your neurodivergency but you learn enough to keep yourself safe. It's what I was forced to learn when I was like 5-13 because I was relentlessly bullied for my race and ethnicity, and later for my incapacity to not understand certain social cues or even break rules until I was about 12/13.

I'm not completely without symptoms and if anything some of them have gotten worse. I struggle now with knowing when to stop talking until I notice people start looking bored or annoyed and I sometimes dont talk enough for fear of being annoying to people I'm close to. Not to mention I'm ALWAYS double checking what I say in a way that's almost like a compulsion. Like constantly, to the point where before I say something with say like factual information, I like quadruple plus plus check everything on Google before I say it (and even then I might get shit wrong and my reaction to that is....oh boy). And even then I sometimes end up not saying anything because I'm too scared I said something wrong and mislead or upset someone. Or worse, this information is unwarranted and annoying.

If anything I'm someone who's neurodivergency made them OVER COMPENSATE the need to pick up on social cues, eye contact, sociability, etc because it was a way to defend myself (by making it harder to pick on me without push back) or keep myself safe.

But at the end of the day the constant need to keep up with ALL of this burnt me out by the time I was in college and it made me incapable of masking very many noticeable things anymore, especially my over sensory and stimming when I'm stressed (which isnt helped by the fact that I have synesthesia), the anxiety it produces, and ultimately that it leads me to having a panic attack and has me in the place I am now where that shame of freaking out in loud spaces gave me agoraphobia. Now my threshold for "neurotypical behavior" is like SIGNIFICANTLY shorter when I leave my house.

And I constantly apologize for sharing information when I do. Like I have it instilled in me now to say sorry for information I share because I think I'm bothering people. And my capacity to understand jokes is flawed if the person I'm talking to isnt someone I'm consistently around because I haven't completely been able to process the way they speak or their sense of humor. I sometimes take jokes that are lies, unreality, or sarcasm as literal and people have to say "oh no I was joking I made that up".

When I first meet people I'm actually told I'm way too quiet and kind of intimidating because I guess people can sense that I'm analyzing them like a lil computer and I look them in the eyes TOO much. Funnily enough one of my close friends in high school didnt like me very much at firsy because she asked me if I liked her after very little time of being introduced and I straight up said no without much thought as to why that would offend her alskdkdmkfkd but after a while of getting to know her more, we got close, and like most people, after a while they say I seem pretty "normal" and "nice".

And this isnt even touching on my emotional responses and my horrible rejection sensitivity. That would make this even longer. But the one thing I'll say is it's made my relationship with my family VERY bumpy, and especially tumultuous when young, and it's something they struggle to understand still A LOT.

And outside of situations where I cant mask anymore from exhaustion, I get why it's sort if unsurprising to me when I've met white autistic folks who mistakenly assume I'm neurotypical because I can just navigate conversations with a sheen of "normalcy" (and lol racism), until we talk and they're like oh shit I get it now (usually white people with ADHD can pick up on my neurodivergency much faster which is funny lol) where as other people of color with adhd/autism dont ever make that assumption, they just get it. They pick up on ME analyzing them and we just look at each other like 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️

#anyway alls to say is #the way we navigate society creates a much different experience of neurodivergency than you might think #and even then it might not be that different beneath the surface #but thats the thing you need to look beyond the surface of your assumptions in the first place #and again this mostly only applies to the experiences of lower support needs folks #online is where im like MOST chatty in person it takes me months to be like open to people #ill be polite and what not but i say very little of myself and get people to tell me about them #or im constantly listening and watchinf #which again is why i am like almost dead serious when i jokingly call Kabru my kinny skdkfkfkkck #this is also why i joined a lot of speech and debate shit cause i wanted to perfect #this capacity to talk to people and use that capacity for analysis to construct criticism or confrontation too

[skunkg1rll]

im in love w him not only bc of who he is as a person nd how drawn i am to his personality, but also bc i feel like he's the only one who has ever wanted to see me. who i am, like deep down. he's the only one who i feel like i've ever connected with, in an easy nd genuine way. the only one who i feel has ever gotten me. he's the only one who's ever made me feel like we actually have a connection we're both in on, bc i havent had to pretend or put up a fake front for him bc he wanted the real image of me.

#unfortunately he has his own shit to deal w #so bc of one thing that was actually a mistake from me #he misjudged it nd saw it from his own perspective nd didnt understand mine #nd thus concluded that he saw me wrong nd didnt actually know who i am #nd then he had decided that so strongly he wasnt wven open to hear me out or try to understand what that situation was for me #that made me very sad nd hurt nd like #he doesnt actually like me as much as i like him #bc i would always always ask him nd hear him out before jumping to conclusions #i have asked him abt this but he is a wall nd doesnt wnna talk abt it #nd i cant force anyone so... yeh. it is what it is #i wish that we had the connection where he wanted to understandwhere i was coming from #instead of being like ughshe isnt the perfect image that i had constructed #so now im writing her off completely bc she doesntlive up to my expectations #but... my heart just loves him sm i can look past that #however... that is meaningless when i dont even know what he feels for me nd i cant get an answer out of him #maybe he doesnt wanna tell me bc he doesnt return my love nd he knows i'llbe hurt nd he'll risk losing me as a friend #i'd never stop talking to him tho.. that is the worst part #if imginna get over these feelings #i need to hear it straight from him. i need him to tell me thatno i am not in love with you #then i need to never talk to him again nd never lookat his social media #then it will hurt a lot but after a year or so i will only feel empty nd not hurt when i think of him #but i am tooweak to be the one to stop talking to him now #my entire day revolves around him nd i know its unhealthy but idk how to stop #since this obsession is unrequited i dont actually wanna feel it #but i have no idea how to stop #god this is driving me insane wtf is wrong w me??

[munamania]

and is there not just generally a certain level of decency that would make you like ease up on a person who's obviously more than a little frazzled i am sorry that i cant process all my feelings and regurgitate them to you in an easily digestible manner while im actively In a situation or have a prepared disclaimer about how im so sorry but im just overwhelmed and need you to leave me alone right now or whatever else maybe i just dont know maybe i cant tell you exactly what im feeling or need and if i have to figure it out and explain that to you my brain is going to explode. but you could read the room. is there not a point where a friend would probably just go oh okay let me not continue pushing this person let me take a moment to reflect on their state and perhaps try to ease that or at least not keep fucking pushing on it. and also maybe not choose these moments to make otherwise innocuous but contextually just kinda meanspirited jabs. ok whatever

#not to be a sensitive little bitch except im not. #i dont want to be rude or too explicitly open about the things i dont really like to talk about #but sometimes. frankly. people need to take on the weight of their own feelings. insecurities. thoughts. etc and then some #some of us grew up with little to no emotional support and in fact took on the weight of their family's issues and the brunt of their #emotional immaturity and sometimes that makes someone feel fundamentally rattled and unsafe in moments like that #some of us had pretty much every big personal emotional. thing. that happened to them minimized and turned into some tragic #family conversation. or had someone reply like huh idk if that could have happened to you i certainly dont remember that #and then you wonder if people were ever looking out for you and if the ones that did just truly didnt care. #um. anyway. this is not just to be like oh im so quirky and different and traumatized lol but im reaching a boiling point when it comes #to people just like. doing this shit. or whatever. im going to start screaming #i shouldnt have to bare my fucking soul to you for you to go oh huh maybe this is a sensitive subject perhaps #frankly we arent the same and we dont relate and aw bummerooni ik im not the only sufferer but good god. #our lives were very different in some ways! #and sometimes all i want is for someone to say its ok kid you did good #again. not to be dramatic. but when ive talked about MY upheaval of feelings or w/e like if thats been impacting #how ive been acting and people start crying at me or get all whatever. oh it makes me wanna be the one to pass the torch #yeah man imagine how tired we are. #ok talking incoherently now so im gonna go do my job i guess. #abby talks #i know no one will save me but maybe sometimes it’d be nice to share the weight regardless

[archiephd]

man if you're voting for biden just to vote against trump, just say that. we have got to get over this harm reduction shit when what we really mean is harm reduced for us, me, mr american and literally nobody else on this bitch of an earth. if the only and most emphasized thing we do to reduce the harm our president and their platform does to the living is vote, we are reducing nothing. for anyone or ourselves, because voting alone doesn't challenge the trajectory of anything. it buys 4 more years before we have to do it all again, if that. thinking this way is what promises having to think this way again, and again, and again and again. in 2024, who american leftists vote for 1 day of the year matters little compared to what we do the other 364.

#j.txt #once again talking to me here there is a constant wailing alarm in my head like 24/7 #we aren't taught the other ways we can facilitate change on purpose #there is power in the polls but unfortunately in america it is very little compared to the power in. the union..... lol #i'm not hardcore judging scared minorities in america if they wanna vote for biden out of fear for trump this election cycle #but i am hardcore judging if it's proclaimed as the morally superior thing to do when it's just not #like at all #which is also by design! #would you like blue poison or red poison don't you love living in a country that lets you choose! #i also just hate the narrative that this is our only way out of trump's america #like if he wins it's over like people who've been organizing and agitating and fighting and being arrested won't be doing the same shit #before and after #we gotta stop seeing voting as activism let alone a meaningful challenge to facism #not that i know everything either #just. even the few history books i've opened don't hold instances of voting being the way out of a tide of facism man #we can multitask guys vote for who we think we need to but if that's all we're doing to change things um. #we will be stopping nothing and we will be here forever #these shitheads have power here in and outside of office and they will do whatever they can wherever they can do it regardless #like they tried storming the capital literally last election. like #and that's just. here in our own country #why should we expect them to act any different this go around. genuinely. i would like to be able to expect different #all that said i feel like i am going crazy every day 👍 #2024 elections

[buriesitsteeth]

Hm.

#had a dream about ex-besties again #and when I said ‘I’m sorry hearing briefly about the ab*se I was being subjected to at home and my parent’s su*cide attempts were so #annoying and boring for you. you were my only people I could trust #to open up to in the moment while I was panicking and having to very much #confront the fact that my parent was going to die. #but I’m sorry it was irritating or whatever.’ #I was so right #I know friends do not exist as therapists but #I do not see how you can be all ‘oh my guy that’s awful but this this and this are ab*sive behaviours. you act this was because you are #traumatised here read this yeah yeah we need to get you out of there yeah’ #one day and then the next just #cut me out like I’m some sort of cancer #if at any point they’d said hey I don’t have the emotional bandwidth rn I’m sorry #I’d have been so understanding and shut the fuck up #genuinely! I get it! #but I don’t see how you can have a friend #who is going through so much and none of it is under their control #who still manages to be there for everyone else when they’re having problems at home including you #who just once every few months needs to go ‘oh shit I need someone to talk to if you’re not busy rn/if you can deal w that atm’ in a LITERAL #CRISIS where they have no one else to lean on #and who will need support if they’re going to eventually leave home #and go ‘meh whatever I’m going to end the friendship in the worst and most damaging way I can think of lol’???? #like?? everyone else around me is like oh just move on move on #but I’m just going over and over it in my head #How can you know the wounds and then drive the knife in anyway? #I don’t think people understand like I don’t let anyone close because this is what happens #and so to trust #more than you’ve ever trusted anyone ever #and have them suddenly disappear? without a word?

[therealvalkyrie]

bath + asparagus time

#I did some cleaning and my day’s gotten slightly better #long story short I’ve had a fucking weekend lmfao #last Thursday I had a complete breakdown on my way home prompted by like the smallest comment u could think of #nevertheless it made me sob violently #like picture florence pugh in midsommar but more hysterical #on Friday I had a good day!! but it was fuckin busy man and I didn’t get around to #half of the stuff I needed to #Saturday was also busy and on the way home from work my car started SMOKING!!!! from under the hood #nothing was on fire but it freaked me the fuck out and I couldn’t get it to the mechanic until today so I had to find rides everywhere #and that was stressful #I only got like 3 or 4 hours of sleep Saturday night bc I had a (fun!!!) thing that went really late and then had to get up at 5 for work #on Sunday #so Sunday afternoon I got home and napped from 2-6pm and then just went to bed at 8 so I STILL didn’t get any shit done #and then this morning I opened again and I spent my sh #ift w people who are even newer at my job than I am so I was like training them/doing everything they couldn’t do yet and it was just #a weird day and my boss was acting weird and I didn’t like it at all #and then this afternoon I take my car to the mechanic FINALLY and he says the radiator’s busted and leaking coolant everywhere and also #one of the tires is fucked so we have to get them all replaced #and that’s gonna be several hundred dollars which is fine it’s all fine but I’m fucking tired #and when I got home there were still dishes to do😭😭😭 #I need someone to baby me and clean my house #gawd #valkyrie talks

[sanstropfremir]

in an alternate universe where they didn't split, what subunits do you think sm would've given tvxq? i wonder if homin / jyj units would've still happened or if they'd do something like suju kry with the main vocals. or maybe they just go "damn here" and give yunjae a duet

sm doesn't seem to like giving actual 'subunits' to their <five member groups, so i don't think jyj would have happened, but we'd probably still have gotten solo careers (eventually) from the four that have them, and probably i think a couple of duets, but they wouldn't have extensive promo periods/albums attached to them. probably yunjae and maybe changmin jaejoong? they might have also done a yunho junsu dance type one as well. but to be honest i do actually think the split was for the best, bc had they all had continued under sm we would not have gotten all that excellent angry music out of 2011-2014, AND we probably would not have gotten any of junsu's iconic songs either.

#junsu SHOULD have been sm's first dance soloist if no split #but i think they would have neutered his solo career if it had happened #personally i do not believe sm would have gone through with tarantellegra in 2012 #yea yea taemin sherlock hair was in 2012 BUT he was in a group at the time and when they took him solo they went polar opposite #and they were likely not willing to take the risk on junsu's gender nonconforming nonsense (affectionate) #BUT in western pop born this way had dropped a year before and i would bet that a label would be more open to it #(just to be clear i'm not ascribing anything to junsu but his image from 2011-2015 was very specific #and seeing tarantellegra in 2012 hit like a fucking BOMB. at least to me it did) #(like i think i had just come out like less than a year before?? yea i think the mv dropped in my last semester of gr 11) #yes i've been out for a decade and lemme tell you shit was so different in 2012 #n e ways. sm is just bad at managing subunits + soloists across the board so it was a better outcome all around imo #tvxq w #a friend and i were LITERALLY just joking that we have to get yunjae back together again #so they can have another torrid breakup and mitigate whatever midlife crisis jaejoong is having rn sdlkfjsdlkjflsdkjsd #like cmon buddy we didn't ask for whatever nobody like you was we want just another girl 2!!!!!!!! #(i actually think the song is fine but the video is like a horrible fever dream that i never thought i'd have) #y'all ever thought we'd see a butterfly hair clip on kim jaejoong in the big year of 2022? yea me fuckin neither!!! #dig your fucking eyeliner out of the closet jaejoong we don't need this wannabe 4th gen nonsense #text #answers

[aideshou]

I love missmangobutt vlogs because the title says “I try (djjebfndksn) workout for a week” but the video also involves her getting into magic, witchcraft, alchemy/symbolism, and a story about buying a nazar eye .

#her friend I guess told her she had to be gifted a nazar eye and that she can’t buy it herself or it’s bad luck #um..what?? kind of TikTok facts you live your life off of?? #and it’s ‘cultural appropriation’ even though the people she thinks we are appropriating isn’t the Ottoman Empire who probably stole that #shit from times leading back to the ancient Egyptians.. #like damn.. #not everyone believes in witchcraft so how the hell is everyone supposed to be gifted a damn eye when they need it #I gifted myself a damn eye and it works also made myself a damn lapis lazuli / merkabah necklace based off my own knowledge ! #my necklace is 1000% x stronger than the dinky nazar charm I got for my travel bag #but when I got the nazar eye can I tell you…the clarity and control I received over my own perspectives ! I feel forever protected by an #angel even when my charms are nowhere to be found . once you open the box..can’t be shut again 🎀

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

Pokémon Horizons Episode 26 spoilers under the cut!

OH SO WE WEREN'T BEING JUST DELUSIONAL,,,,,, THEY'RE DOING IT,,,,,,,,,,,, THEY'RE ACTUALLY DOING IT,,,, , ,

#fluff binges !!! #not a spoiler but can we talk about how they also switched Liko and Roy's parts and added new verses for the ending rap it was SO cute 🥺💖 #I'm also gonna miss the first opening since I got attached to it but OH MY GOD THE NEW ONE............ SO INSANE. ACTUAL PEAK. I KNEEL. #ok with my spoiler tags in place now I can AKJSDHAJSNDKASJKDFNSJDFSND #OH MY GOD THEY'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO DO IT THEY'RE ACTUALLY EXPLORING MY ANGSTY SON'S CHARACTER HOLY SHIT #AMETHIO BBY PLEASE I KNOW YOU'RE BROODING RN AND BEATING YOURSELF UP MENTALLY FOR THAT LOSS BUT DON'T PUSH YOUR LOVED ONES AWAYYYYYYYYYY #ZIRC AND ONIA ARE WORRIEDDDDDDDDD DO YOU SEE THEM WONDERING ABOUT YOU THEY EVEN TRIED TO TALK TO YOU BUT YOU WOULDNT BUDGEEEEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭 #I need a moment where Amethio gets to be hugged by these two fr they're legit his guardians at this rate #Amethio also only seems to open up about his vulnerability to Ceruledge from the looks of it and something about that makes me So Insane #WHAT WAS HE TRYING TO SAY IN THIS SCENE ACTUALLY LIKE . IS HE APOLOGIZING? DOES HE BLAME HIMSELF FOR THE LOSS??? #IS HE AFRAID OF LOOKING WEAK TO HIS PARTNER MON OR IS HE DOUBTING THE TRUST HE HAS IN THEM................... #/head in HANDS #we're gonna get to see the explorers together again next episode and it seems like Spinel and Hamber reacted to something Amethio said #is he proposing that he go after Terapagos himself? that the others don't interfere because it's a Personal matter now from that loss? #they're not gonna like that if that's the case........ Hamber might insist on reinforcements or pull extra strings without Amethio knowing #everyday we get one step closer to Amethio redemption #(or alternatively corruption like can you imagine this all weighing on his mind and just twisting it in all the wrong directions) #(though now that I mention that it seems more like a possibility for Spinel --- I still think he's the most capable of betraying everyone) #(like he seems the most malicious at this rate and his capabilities can be quite terrifying- he may as well decide to-- #--erase the other explorers' memories and make them work for him if he was pushed hard enough . Like . Can You Imagine.......... /deranged) #I'm rambling at this rate ASKSDJHSDKFNSD but this series gives me so much serotonin and I'm so grateful to have started it 🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖 #pokemon horizons #anipoke #pokeani #amethio #explorer amethio #amethio pokemon #zirc pokemon #onia pokemon #ceruledge

[siinlight]

Pharmacists are the most evil mfs in health care I stg always fucking rude and Always an attitude

#waited well over an hour today with gauze stuffed in my mouth and the need to change was real not that they really give a shit about any mf #that comes i. to get their medications :) we were told 20 it would take 20 mins we walk around walmart #for 20 then come back my fiance talks to the guy again and he is rude and gives attitude when telling us #that its not ready and then we proceed to wait another 40 fucking minutes within earshot and sight of this mf #and then they closed for lunch and we didnt have time to wait for them to open again #im really upset about how rude they were about everything #luckily i have some extra strength ibuprofen from getting my wisdom teeth out that i was able to take before the numbness faded