#wen xu covered in blood is all that’s on my mind today...

[pawsnread]

Untamed Fest Day 30: Right/Wrong

Summary: One year into his seclusion, Lan Wangji is visited by his brother. They begin to discuss Lan Wangji’s punishment and the decisions that led to it.

This story is chapter 1 to a fic entitled 16 Years, detailing four moments of grief and one moment of hope in Lan Wangji’s life following Wei Wuxian’s fall at Nevernight. The story is being posted on AO3.

It was called the Cold Pond Cave for its frigid temperatures and quiet, contemplative ambiance. The crystal clear water was bone chilling but never frozen despite the temperatures. Silence was ever present; even the water barely made a sound as it rippled. It was a prime place for meditation, for deep contemplation. 

The cave had been used as a place of holding, tamping down the resentful energy of a piece of Yin Iron. It had been a prison of sorts for Lan Yi, as she used her own spiritual energy to keep that resentful energy of the iron in check. Recently, it had been a place of sanctuary for the Lan Sect disciples escaping from Wen Xu and his burning of the Cloud Recesses.

For Lan Wangji, it was also now a place for seclusion.

He had performed seclusion previously, sequestering himself away from the rest of the world for days at a time, only emerging for meals and sleep. Seclusion had helped to clear his mind, quiet the restless thoughts that came to him. He had never minded seclusion before - but it had never been forced on him. 

As part of his punishment for defying the clans, Lan Wangji had been ordered to endure three years of seclusion as he healed from his whipping and reflected on his actions that pitted him against the sects. It had been Lan Qiren’s intention that by the time the years were over, Lan Wangji would once again be the morally righteous student and nephew he had raised so diligently and who had strayed so far. 

Lan Qiren’s intention was a far flung hope at best.

Though he knew the Lan Principles by memory, read the words day in and day out, Lan Wangji remained adamant that he had done was what he had to do to honor the promise he had made, a promise that started in that very cave.

Always stand with justice, and live with no regrets.

One year had already passed; two still remained.

“Wangji.”

At the sound of his brother’s voice and soft footstep, Lan Wangji glanced up from the white guqin he was strumming. Other than the shifting of his fingers over the strings as he played Cleansing, he made no other movements as Lan Xichen approached. In one hand he carried Liebing, the xiao’s blue tassel swinging in time with his steps; in the other he carried a covered tray containing the midday meal, which he set next to the instrument. Lan Xichen gave a small smile at his brother’s nod before kneeling in the frost next to him. He remained silent as Lan Wangji finished the Cleansing melody and laid his long fingers over the strings to silence them. Lan Xichen watched his brother as he began to remove various small dishes from the tray, but there was no concealing the look of concern in his eyes.

“Xiongzhang,” Lan Wangji said quietly. He didn’t say anything further, the indication clear in his tone. Lan Xichen’s posture straightened minutely as he cleared his throat.

“Wangji,” he began, his voice hushed, “it has been a year. Much has changed since…” He watched his brother’s expression as he paused, but Lan Wangji remained impassive as he slowly consumed his meal. There was no hint of emotion at all in his face, so Lan Xichen continued. “I will speak with Uncle about your seclusion later. It is possible that he can be persuaded to shorten the sentence, considering how things are now.”

“No.” Lan Wangji gave a slight shake of his head but his focus remained on the food his brother had brought. He heard Lan Xichen’s soft sigh but didn’t turn to see his brother’s expression.

“Wangji, you know well why Uncle punished you.”

“Yes.”

“You don’t deny it, that what you did went against all the sects, even our own clan. Yet, you don’t regret it?”

“No.” 

He couldn’t help but sigh again. Lan Xichen was very experienced with his brother’s brand of stubbornness. When Lan Wangji set his mind on something, it was extremely difficult to change his ways unless one could offer a compelling argument otherwise. But, no matter how many times Lan Xichen had attempted to broach the subject of his brother’s dissent against the sects, Lan Wangji refused to budge.

All this, for one person. 

Of all the people in the world, Lan Xichen knew his brother best. He knew what he was feeling sometimes even before Lan Wangji knew himself. Reaching out, Lan Xichen laid a hand on his brother’s shoulder. His touch and his voice were both gentle, a hush in the cave. “Wangji, he’s gone. He’s not…”

“Don’t.” With a slight clink that echoed in the cave, Lan Wangji set down the dish he had been holding. His gaze was fixed ahead, eyes clear and unwavering. Specks of frost dotted his brows and hair; coupled with his fair skin, it gave him an ethereal appearance. “I took him as my soulmate. I trust him, I trust the choices he made.”

“Then…”

“But I didn’t do it just because of him.”

“Wangji…”

Slowly, he turned and fixed his brother with that intent stare that quelled most others. Lan Xichen met his gaze evenly, waiting for him to speak.

“They did nothing wrong,” Lan Wangji said quietly, his voice steady in his firm conviction.

“Wangji, we’ve discussed this. I know what your feelings are about the Wen survivors. But the other sects…”

“Make sure to act virtuously.”

Lan Xichen fell silent, his hand slipping from his brother’s shoulder into his own lap as he listened to Lan Wangji begin to recite the Lan Principles they both had memorized long ago.

“Honor good people. Uphold the value of justice. Have courtesy and integrity. Believe sincerely.  Be just.” That intent gaze lingered, his resolve evident in their depths. “Are these principles not what Uncle has taught us?”

“Do not argue with family, for it does not matter who wins.” Although he had put up a counter argument Lan Wangji would not dispute, Lan Xichen knew not to press the issue further. He had failed - yet again - to persuade his brother differently. 

It wasn’t that Lan Xichen believed that what Lan Wangji had done was wrong; he knew his brother acted in a manner in which he felt he was best following the teachings of his youth. But doing so meant having almost the entirety of the cultivation world stand against him. It meant having those who were once his allies now considering him their enemy. It meant even potentially his own sect - his own family - standing opposite of him.

They were all aware of what had happened to Wei Wuxian when he went against the cultivation sects. Lan Xichen didn’t disapprove of Wei Wuxian’s viewpoint, only his unconventional methods. But he feared that the same inevitable fate awaited his beloved younger brother if Lan Wangji didn’t change his mindset.

With a resigned sigh, Lan Xichen rose to his feet, dusting the frost off the hem of his robes. “I still intend to speak with Uncle about your seclusion.” He patted his brother’s shoulder before turning to go. “One of the junior disciples will be sent later.” He gave one last look at his brother, noted the slight nod, before Lan Xichen left the cave.

Left alone once again, Lan Wangji sat ramrod straight. The pain of his back had subsided in the last few months, helped along by the numbing cold. There were still some days of discomfort, days where it felt as if Lan Wangji could feel the lashes biting into his flesh anew. Today had been one of those days. When they occurred, playing Cleansing helped to ease some of the discomfort.

The music, however, did nothing to ease the numbness in his heart. Closing his eyes, Lan Wangji could still see that last fateful moment play out. Even a year later the details were still clear: the scent of blood, the ache in his arm, the look on Wei Ying’s face, the softness of his voice when he asked to be let go. 

He knew he was gone, but there was still a part of Lan Wangji that didn’t want to believe it. That small stubborn part of him that had always been there, had just ran counterpoint to his brother, the part that had kept visiting his mother’s home even after he knew she was gone. It was that small piece of his heart that remained even a little bit hopeful, that made everything numb and the seclusion somewhat bearable. It was that small part that Lan Wangji clung to tenaciously, refusing to let go - but knowing one day he would have to.

Inhaling deeply, Lan Wangji released the breath slowly, the warm current turning to foggy steam before his face in the cold cave. He flexed his fingers once, twice, the knuckles popping ever so softly. With another deep breath, he began to play Song of Lucidity as his seclusion continued.

#untamedfest #the untamed fest #the untamed fest day 30 #day 30 prompt #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fan fic #the untamed fanfic #the untamed fic #lan wangji #writing #16 years

[kinglybella]

Insanity (1)

A/N: Welcome to my twisted mind~ I got some major inspiration to write a well...very disturbing series.This is sorta an introduction chapter. Letting you get a feel for the characters and the setting. So please, grab some snacks and join the roller coaster.

AU!: Psychopath!Yandere!Minghao, Psychiatrist!Reader, Doctor!Jun

Warnings: Blood, Murder, Self harm (Mentioned), Cussing, Major heartache

Description: You never realized how stressful and dangerous your job as an asylum psychiatrist could be till a patient, Xu Minghao, gets admitted for murder. Your co-worker Wen Junhui insists the man is dangerous and needs to be locked away. However, something draws you near Minghao. But can you break free before it is too late?

~ Admin Bella

“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”

― Philip K. Dick

Your POV

Your shoes thumped against the pure, clean marble floors. Speckled with little grey specks. You passed several nurses, doctors, and psychiatrists like yourself. White coats and straight jackets found on every turn of a corner.

Some people would call you insane to actually desire to care for the insane. But you found a sense of comfort in it. You wanted to help people. You wanted to help them see reason and clarity. Be it that you are just a figure for them to trust and talk to, or medicine that you prescribe for them. Anyway they possibly could get better, you tried.

Your mother, in particular, wasn’t fond of your job, she swore up and down you would get yourself killed here. You brushed her off

“Mom, these people aren’t dangerous, they are hurt and they need my help.” you furrowed your eyebrows, placing your hands gently on her shoulders.

“I just worry for you. Those people-” she spat, making you flinch at her harsh tone.

“Those people are exactly what you just said. People. People who need help. I am done talking about this now.”

Remembering her face, her pained face as you refused to even consider what she was saying. It makes your heart hurt. You wish it wasn’t too late to apologize for your harshness in the past. Sighing and shaking your head, you pushed aside your regrets and thoughts. You looked down at your clip board, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you examine your next patient’s sheet.

Minghao Xu

Age- 20

Birthplace- China, Haicheng, Liaoning

Reason for Admission- manslaughter, suicide attempt, attacking officers when attempt was stopped.

Dangerous? - Yes, restraints are necessary at all times. Patient shows dangerous behavior to his nurses, doctor, and to himself.

You were startled out of your reading as suddenly your coat was tugged on. Jumping slightly with wide eyes, you look down at the blonde little girl.

“Eva!“ you breathed out, clutching your chest as your heart thumps heavily in your rib cage. “You scared me, hun,” you chuckled, kneeling down to her level after smiling softly at her nurse. “How are you doing today, honey?”

“I is okie” she smiled, her front tooth missing from her yanking it out. Per request from Raven... “Raven hasn’t spoke to me for a while, Miss Y/L/N” she rocked back and forth on the heels of her feet. Her hands clasped cutely behind her back.

“That is great, Eva. I know you are making great progress. I will see you later in the week, okay?” you patted the top of her head gently, rising back up.

“Okie, Miss Y/L/N” she waved before taking her nurse’s hand and skipping off to her room. Probably to color or nap. But you can’t be worrying about Eva right now. You rush quickly to your third office. You had several offices, each designed for certain types of patients. This Minghao fellow was currently in Office C, padded heavily with several cameras and secret alarm buttons everywhere. Office C was where usually you first meet your patients, then later you determined which office to continue seeing them at or which office they would be more comfortable in.

You thumbed in the code for the office, stepping inside before pushing the door closed. A soft beep ringing as the alarm sets. Turning around, you gave the man in front of you a friendly smile, taking a few short steps to sit down. You glanced down at your clipboard before back up at Minghao.

“How are you feeling today, Mr Xu?” you crossed your leg over the other, flipping to a clean sheet of paper, ready to jot notes down. He smirked lightly, trying to stretch within his straight jacket. His eyes roamed all over your body before settling to look directly into your eyes, making you shift under his gaze.

“How do you think I should feel?” he tilted his head, his smirk widening more and more into a full blown smile. “I am a murderer, a psychopath as some seem to be calling me.” A soft giggle escaped past his lips, causing a chill to go down your spine. “Quite an interesting term that one...Psy-Cho-Path” He sounded out slowly.

You cleared your throat, quickly jotting down his behavior before looking back up at him. “Mr. Xu-” you began only for him to cut you off with a loud sigh and a tough pull within his jacket. Irritation and anger forming on his face.

“Minghao. Call me Minghao, and only Minghao.” He snarled out, clearly taking a dislike to your formalities. Immediately that is something you note down. “Unless you have a name you would like to call me during fun times, Minghao is the only name I wish for you to call me” He purred, laving his tongue over his bottom lip.

He is going to be a tough one, you thought to yourself, making some more notes of his behavior.

“I will call you Minghao. And since we are patient and doctor, there will be no ‘fun’ times as you call them” you smile politely before checking the clock. Thirty minutes left to this introduction session. “Now I have to ask some mandatory questions, Minghao-” you flipped a page on your clip board, examining it before looking back up at him, “Do you hear voices?”

He tilts his head in thought before grinning, “Sometimes”

“What do they tell you? Do they tell you to do anything?”

“They tell me about ways I could make you orgasm ” he threw his head back and cackled as if he just told the greatest joke in the world. You, however, sighed and jotted down his lewd behavior.

"Do they tell you to do anything violent. To yourself or others?" You peered up from your clipboard, raising an eyebrow.

"One voice told me I should slit the throat of my neighbors dog, that would get the mangy mutt to shut the fuck up." He stared up at the ceiling in thought. Looking semi-peaceful despite the circumstances.

"And did you?"

"Of course, but also that voice was my own train of thought" his focus went from the ceiling to you, the corner of his lips tugging into a wicked smile. A chill went down your spine, lacing your skin with goosebumps. You swallowed your fear and discomfort down. Reading a note left by his doctor after being brought in, you chewed on the inside of your cheek.

Patient has several scars lacing his wrists, when questioned by this, he claimed to be releasing himself. Research into his profile, before the murder, shows a hospital stay after hitting a vein.

“Was your home life abusive?” you set your clipboard down on your lap, clasping your hands together. “Usually those that harm themselves live in a harmful household.. Was yours harmful, Mr- Minghao?” you forced yourself to smile, calling him by his first name.

“Maybe. Maybe not. Or maybe I have no family. Maybe I was sent from Hell” he laughed, settling further into the couch. His black bangs covering his eyes. “Maybe I am the antichrist.”

You decided not to comment on that one, just quietly noting down his behavior. You set your clipboard down yet again, studying his face. He was handsome, you couldn’t deny that. But you weren’t an agency for models, you were a psychiatrist, and you were studying your patient.

“You were diagnosed with schizophrenia, do you agree with this?” you tilted your head at him, and you watched as he did the same to you with a smirk. However, he never answered. Just simply stared at you. “Minghao?” raising an eyebrow, you questioned.

“I don’t know~ Do you agree with it? I am sure you are very familiar with it...” he sneered. You opened your mouth to answer, but you were quickly cut off by the alarm beeping throughout the room. Signaling the end of your session. Two men wearing white uniforms quickly walked in, grabbing Minghao by his elbows and roughly lifting him up off the couch. You would have snapped at them to be more gentle, however, this pang in your chest stopped you from speaking. You didn’t understand his statement.

“See ya later, love” he smiled widely, dementedly. He wanted to get under your skin, and boy was he doing a good job of it.

You work with a lot of mentally ill. That is all he meant by it. You kept telling yourself that as you watched the workers usher Minghao out. He walked past you and chuckled, throwing his head back. Enjoying his effect on you. After his laughter rang through your ears, you cleared your mind and straightened your back, walking out after them. But you couldn’t quite shake him off. The feeling he gave you. This sense of-

“Y/N, watch out!” a familiar voice shouted. Whipping your head up, you came in contact with a very annoying pillar in the middle of the walk way. A structural beam that had to stay in it’s burdensome position. You groaned in pain, already expecting a bruise to show up on your forehead in the morning.

“Y/N, are you okay? Where were you?” the voice comes up beside you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. Peeking through your fingers you see Jun shaking his head disapprovingly at you.

“Where do you think I was? I had a patient, moron” you huffed at your friend and co-worker. Jun was slender, yet still had muscles that rippled his clothing. You couldn’t deny your attraction to your friend, but who wasn’t attracted to him? He was a walking angel. You two met shortly after you took the job. You were sitting alone in the cafeteria, scared of what you had gotten yourself into. That was the first and only time you were scared. Jun came up and asked if the seat in front of you was taken. You remember thinking how he wouldn’t shut up. He spilled his whole backstory to you that lunch hour. How he use to work in pediatrics for mentally ill kids, all the way to how he ended up here.

“I am Jun. I just transferred here...And you are?” He asked, his eyes gentle, brown hair messily covering his forehead. You felt safe with him, though you think he runs his mouth too much. But nerves can do that to a person, and you were trained to listen.

“I am Y/N, nice to meet you, Jun”  you smiled politely before returning to push your lettuce around your salad bowl. Hunger being the last thing on your mind, you were being presented your first patient today, and the word “nervous” couldn’t even begin to describe how you were feeling. Maybe your mother was right.

“I feel like we are going to be good friends, you and I”

Sure we are, you thought sarcastically to yourself. You always preferred to be alone.

“I meant mentally, you smart ass” he snorted, patting the top of your head, breaking you yet again out of your thoughts. “You seem so deep in thought? What’s going on in that head of yours?” he motioned for you to begin walking again. So you did, and he followed along side you.

“Oh.. I just had a new patient. He is interesting to say the least.” you shook your head, feeling a chill wave over your body. You quickly wrapped your arms around your body, hugging yourself to bring extra warmth. Sometimes this place feels so cold. You only wonder how the patients look at it.

“How interesting?”

“He murdered a woman who was walking with her baby in a stroller-” grimacing for a second, you continued your thought, “It appears he did it for no reason. He later tried to kill himself.”

“Holy shit.” Jun shook his head, “Even as a doctor, I sometimes don’t get it.”

You looked up at him, sighing before looking ahead. A nurse quickly jogged up to you, smiling formally.

“Ms. Y/L/N, I have that paperwork you requested for yesterday on the Peterson case.” she handed you the tan folder, filled with copies of paperwork on another patient of yours. Jun folded his arms and stared down at her, expecting a formality, however, he oddly received none.

“Thank you, Michelle. I badly needed these” You smiled, watching her nod before retreating back to her station. Looking up at Jun, you snickered. “What was that about?”

He shrugged, throwing an arm around your shoulders, completely abandoning business ethics. “I took her out last Saturday, forgot my wallet.” You smacked his arm off your shoulder all while laughing. Tears building in your eyes.

“You made the poor woman pay?” wiping your eyes, you sighed in humor. “That is too good”

“I am just pissy I didn’t get laid.”

“I am sure you are. Now if you don’t mind, I have a job to get to.” Raising his hands in surrender, he backed down a hall, smiling one last time before leaving to his own office. Unlocking your office door, you rubbed your face, wincing as you rub the sore spot on your forehead. Your office was neat and tidy...as it could be. The blinding, white walls often gave you a headache, a little potted plant sitting on your cherry oak desk, and several bookshelves littered the walls. It definitely looked like a psychiatrist’s office.

And in this silent office of yours, you couldn’t block out the tormenting sound of Mr. Xu’s laughter, and the sentence-

I am sure you are very familiar with it

#seventeen angst #minghao angst #minghao smut #minghao fluff #jun angst #jun smut #jun fluff #seventeen minghao #seventeen jun #wen junhui #xu minghao #moon junhui #wen jun #moon jun #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #fluff #smut #angst #admin bella