#when you realize he's only intaking like 50-60% of the conversations | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

keets-writing-corner · 3 months

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Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

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beautyintheblackness · 7 years

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No Fear (1st Draft)

James Baldwin said, “Education is indoctrination if you’re white and subjugation if you’re black.” An exclusive club for the good ole boys and girls, in which I, a multi-racial, aesthetically brown girl is not invited. I began New York University September 2016, under the hopeful pretense that I would be included in a group of over achievers and fellow students who were born to innovate. When I received my acceptance letter, I felt a sense of achievement and fulfillment. I finally had a clear view of my next steps in the big wide world. I could see myself moving upward and it was I who supplied this mobility alone. Like most students, I swooned at the thought of the classes I would take, burning a whole through my credit card to obtain as much NYU memorabilia as I could afford, and attended all of the orientation events. I was prepared to take on the world, prepared to intake a plethora of knowledge, and believed that this was the beginning of the greatest moments to come.

The first week, I was eager to get started, I read ahead and took descriptive notes. I annotated and highlighted any and everything I didn’t understand, because I wanted to know these subjects’ in and out. At first, the ostracism was light and incomprehensible to the eye. The overlooking of my hand through the entirety of the class, the huffs and exasperating puffs when I did get called on, insisting I hurry up and make my point, and the contentious cutting off of my questions to elaborate how articulate I was, had taken no effect on me. I figured my Professors were irritable to the fact I wasn’t giving more or thinking hard enough.

It wasn’t until my Science Professor decided to have a class conducted online I realized it had nothing to do with me trying at all. My silence was more appreciated than actually learning, engaging, and giving my input. My classmates and I had to take an open book test, where we all would come up with the answer and the final answer would be considered our grade. In this instance, everything went well and I was pretty proud of my class on coming together to make sure we get a passing grade. As we went on, we discussed the chapters of the text we had to read the week prior. I was enthusiastic and eager to get started, because this book was an astonishing read thus far and I had tons of questions. When the Professor began asking questions assuming no one read the text, because no one answered. A fellow student Sam and I answered most of them, my Professor laughed and in a light tone asked me to, “Give some other students a try.” I obliged and didn’t speak, because I didn’t want to be that student who hogs all the “spotlight” and doesn’t give other students a chance to shine. However, Sam kept answering questions and he was praised for it. Sam also would go on long discussions between him and the Professor, while everyone stared at the screen blankly. So, after 50 mins of silence, I tried my luck again. I didn’t want to hog the proverbial microphone, but no one else was answering questions except for Sam and I wanted to engage in the conversation. Once again, the moment I gave my input on the topic in question, I was asked more sternly than the last time by my Professor, “Please Ariel, can you be quiet? Let other students have a chance to speak!” I was befuddled, I was giving others a chance to speak. In fact, the only person who wasn’t allowing others to speak was Sam and the Professor. Yet in still, I was being punished for the disruption and disobedience. I didn’t speak after for the whole class. My Professor tells me in front of the rest of the class, “I apologize Ariel, I know you are articulate, but we must give other students a chance.” As if my voice and my answers put a muzzle on their mouths, forcing them to remain in a position of submission. After that, I knew, once again, this would not be a learning opportunity for me.

After the weekend passed, I chucked the whole situation as coincidence. Maybe I was hogging all the questions. So I left it alone, letting the situation glide to another failed attempt in mere eagerness, mistaken as boisterous. As the weeks went on, I found this to be the everyday routine. My World Cultures Professor, would dismiss me entirely. Calling me meta-theoretical, because I couldn’t see how a female Dongguan factory worker, who had no idea about the succession of women’s progression in her own country, could be happy living working over 60 hours a week for what others worked for under 40 hours a week. She also implied I was trying to compare the sinister and abysmal acts of the Japanese internment camps in the US to the atrocious acts of the Holocaust in Germany. She went on a tirade so fierce and dripping with disdain, my own classmates roared ugly comments towards me, suggesting I was anti-Semite, which was completely and utterly wrong. I asked her, “Could it be the socioeconomic status of both ethnicities be the reason why they were targeted in WWII, considering both ethnic communities had accumulated extreme wealth from countries they did not originate from?” She humiliated me and ultimately put my credibility on the line because of her accusatory response. After I tried repeatedly to explain what I said and how I was in no way under any circumstance trying to compare the two. In fact, I was trying to figure out why these two ethnicities were targeted so unfairly. Especially, considering the Italians and Germans of the US were not put in such a horrible situation as the Japanese and the Israelis. I was in complete disarray, I hardly was called on in this class and when I was called on, I was mocked and smeared as a result. However, my classmate Collin can make apathetic statements about colonization and go on a rant about how it’s completely necessary. He also said, “It’s the natural way of life, someone has to be in control of another, Imperialism and Colonization is the natural way.” My Professor allows him to go on this tangent and then sums it up with, “That is an interesting point you’ve made Collin, thank you for your input.” She did not challenge him or subject him to irrational behavior from his fellow classmates. She kept us quiet and let him go on to make his point, then rewarded him for “thinking outside the box.”

By the end of mid-terms, I felt extremely low. There was no one I could talk to other than my boyfriend, who couldn’t really do anything for me either. “We are on two different sides of the coin,” he said, “How can I help you, when I don’t receive the same treatment as you do. I go into class no matter how late and I’m always considered present. If you are three minutes late, you get a mouthful in front of the class on how you are not taking advantage of the opportunity you are privileged to have by going to this institution. I know it’s wrong, but what can I do?” Deep down I knew he was right, we were in the same class and he saw with his own eyes the blatant mistreatment I was receiving from my Professors. Either from what I told him or from what he witnessed himself, it was clear I was being seen as a threat.

When the second half of the semester started, I was completely drained. Physically, I had gained twenty pounds and mentally, I was tired. I wanted to give up, I tried to drop my science class, because I was doing severely poor in this class and felt completely limited. The more I tried to be punctual and engaged, the more I would get shut down. It wasn’t until my science Professor went out of his way to print a rebuttal of my presentation, because he didn’t believe in my scientific viewpoint on CRISPR (a genome splicer that edits DNA). I was handled and led to believe what I thought is completely wrong and the rest of the class should know how wrong I am. Although, there were other students who had extreme viewpoints on their presentations. One of them being, “Ultra Hybrid Humans” and how homo-sapiens will be extinct in the next 1,000 years, because of these Hybrid humans on our planet. There was no rebuttal or debunk for that thesis. That classmate received an A and a chuckle or two from the Professor for once again, “thinking outside the box.”

I threw in the towel, I was disgusted. I had enough with the double standards and the biases that controlled my narrative every day. NYU’s mission statement glorifies their goals of diversity, equity, and inclusion, but somehow this falls short of the mark in the classroom. Inclusion is only given to those whom have already received the entitlement of being included. It seems that different views and opinions are only seen as open minded and innovative when aligned with the similar ideology of the Professor’s in the classroom. As a society, we have formed this idea of “I am right, you are wrong mentality.” However, this ideal helps no one and innovates nothing.

During my last Word Culture class for the semester, we were broken up into four groups. Not to my surprise, all people of color (non-Asian) were in one group and the Asians and Europeans were in groups together. We were asked to decipher if the term, “Model Minority,” is perceived to be a compliment or a hindrance to the Asian community. My group proposed it was a hindrance, because all groups have their specialties, but is not promoted, because anything outside of the standard of white imperialism, is not considered valid or model material. My Professor didn’t like our point of view and began to discredit and dismiss our argument as a whole. It wasn’t until a fellow classmate Nathaniel and his group spoke in support of our theory that she even took into consideration what we were saying. She immediately came after me, as if I was the one who solely came to this conclusion. So in my mind, I had two choices. I could be like my Latin classmate Johnathan, who smeared and degraded his own culture for the sake of being separated from its entirety. He even degraded himself, by saying he would be nothing without this school, because he was in fact a Latino. Although he didn’t look aesthetically Latin in his words, “I can pass, so that makes me superior”. Or I could stand up for myself and my ideology, that it’s not what you look like or how much you polarize cultures. It’s about the significance in knowing who you are as individual, not a race. Knowledge or education is not a leverage tool, but should be in fact something you share to maintain the modernity of this nation and of its people. I received a standing ovation from my classmates.

My Professor was so impressed, she let me have the last word before we were dismissed. I concluded that a model minority, is something that suggest other minorities should follow, but in fact, this is a farce, because no one is perfect. Also, no one wants to be painted with one brush, we all are complex individuals and we all have attributes that are worth sharing. Even in our difference, we share similarities. That is the point and should be the objective synopsis of this class moving forward.

I had never been so passionate and forthright in any of my classes in New York University. I didn’t want to be, but I was tired of being overlooked and underestimated. One of my classmates, Demetrius, came up to me after others dispersed. He told me how proud he was of me and that I should never keep quiet and speak out for us. For people of color, people that feel underprivileged, and people who don’t have a voice. He also told me, he never spoke to me before, because he didn’t like the fact that my boyfriend was white, but after hearing me out and seeing what I had to go through in this particular class. He commended me for overcoming adversity and asked if we could be friends. I agreed and walked out of class that day with my head held high. I accomplished something much more than grades. I accomplished the ability to be seen as an equal among my classmates and my Professors. I gained courage and willfulness. I wasn’t afraid anymore to speak out and stand up. For the first time, I had no fear.

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thoughtsfeelingsjustblah · 4 years

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11/4/2019

Already November! Time flies. It has been a good year though. I’ve felt more social and started making new friends, reconnecting with old friends, planning events and parties. I love to host parties. Would give anything to have a bigger house. This one is a little cramped. VERY cramped when I invite most of my friends over at the same time. lol

Anyway, i’ve really enjoyed getting back to my social self. When I was my teens, I loved parties, and loved hosting parties even more! I got with Nathan when I was 20 and he wasn’t a partier all that much. I settled down, practically turned into a recluse, and lived that way for about 10 years. I let go of all my party friends, because I was trying to get out of that lifestyle.

I became the crazy cat lady from being the fun party girl. lol I took in way too many cats than I could honestly take care of. Dogs, too. Got into animal rescue, though I ended up keeping most of them. My house was impossible to keep nice or even clean really, with that many animals. I fell into a depression, which caused me to recluse even more. My bipolar seems to have gotten worse. I was in a rut for years.

My oldest brother died in 2010. I started wanting to get away, to drink and just forget. And that’s what I did. (went really wild as a teenager after my Dad died when I was in my teens. My coping mechanism I suppose. Then, I met Jerry not long after my brother died and we became really close. He was my best friend for 2-3 years, until we tried to date and I realized he was a manipulative, controling, abusive asshole. Then, I started going out even more after that break up. After my Mom died, I didn’t go completely wild. Maybe it was because I was living alone in my clean, comfortable home. More stable. I did meet Mark not long after she passed, and did impulsively go out of town to meet him for the first time, in the middle of the night after I left a bar. lol So, maybe I went a little crazy. Turned out for the best, though.

Birthdays in November... I need to remember to send a card to my cousin Alissa, I always forget. Then, i’m seeing if James is busy next week, it’s his birthday. He’s alone and he did something special for Mark’s birthday. Brought him really nice cupcakes from a bakery. So I really want to do something for him. If he’s not already planned anything, i’ll ask him if there is anyone he’d want to invite. I just found out that Cassie’s birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year, so I need to get her a cake. I hope i’m not leaving anyone out for November birthdays.

I’ve got to do something about my weight. I take pictures, from an upper left angle (except most aren’t extreme angles anymore), and I love the way I look. I feel so pretty, from my pictures. But then, I see myself in the mirror and i’m often disappointed. I see myself in a picture someone takes of me, and my day is ruined. I end up in tears and feel huge, ugly, like a freaking monster. I don’t want to feel that way anymore. I know i’d be so much prettier, even with just 50-60 pounds gone. If I lost 100, i’d probably never leave the mirror! lmao No, but I would be happy with pictures people take and my self confidence would be through the roof.

It’s a shame that i’ve wasted all these years being fat and having nearly 0 self esteem. Now, if I lose weight.....i’ll be starting the aging process. About to turn 40. I wasted my youthful, pretty years.

But HOW am I going to lose this weight? It’s so hard. Some of my health conditions cause weight gain and make it difficult to lose it. Some of my meds do the same thing. I’ve had a couple doctors trying to get me to go off the meds, but I won’t do it. They are my psychiatric meds, and I NEED them! Nope, nope, nope. I’ve been craving soda and drinking way too much of it this past week. That’s not going to help matters. I’m going to have to cut down on soda intake and watch what I eat, a bit more than I do now. And, I need to get active. Not just for weight loss, for my diabetes too. Really need to start going to swim at the ymca 2-3 mornings per week, at least. And, sometime on most weekends, since it’s the only time Nathan can go. Would also like to starting waking at 6am and go for a walk. The walks will be super short for a while, because at this size it kills my lower back and legs. But, anything is better than nothing. I hope I can get into a better routine.

I’d so love to lose 50 pounds by Summer, when we go back to Wyoming and to the beach. Confidence, I need it back.

I need to clean this room today, it’s a complete disaster. Trying to get Mark to help me. It will be nice to be able to walk through the room normally. To have my side table cleared and organized. Be able to organize and decorate my makeup table, be able to access and organize my jewelry again! I feel chaotic in my mind when things are out of place. My problem, i’m a perfectionist. I want everything to be perfect. And thats hard to do now that i’m not living alone. So, when it’s not perfect I lack the motivation to clean. Complicated.

I WANT MY HOME 100% ORGANIZED!!!!!

I had all rooms organized a while back. Perfectly. Except the bedroom. But people want to leave stuff laying around and/or put things in the wrong places. Leaving me to have to get up the motivation to do it all over again! Oh, not to mention people leaving trash laying around. My biggest pet peeve!

I wonder what really happens when you die. People are always saying they will see their loved ones again one day - but how do we really know that? It seems like wishful thinking. Something will tell ourselves to make death feel a little less permanent. I mean, i’d love for it to be true. But noone truly knows. I guess it IS a comfort to tell yourself that. But what if death is just death. Nothingness. You just no longer exist? What if everyone who dies is trapped on Earth for eternity. Purgatory. Or hell....punished for all of our “sins”. Because EVERYONE sins at some point, nobody is perfect.

I wonder the same about God. How do we really know there IS a God? How? We pray, and most of our prayers remain unanswered. Did someone just make up God and Christianity to make themselves and some others feel better? Feel not alone.

I lean more toward Wicca in my beliefs. But even still, how do we know the Goddess/Gods even exist? I don’t know. Just something I was thinking about.

Speaking of which, I was talking to my brother Neil the other day. We had a great, long conversation. I didn’t want to get off the phone. EVEN during the “Rhonda” part of the conversation (long story, may blog about it another time). lol One thing in our convo that stood out.. He told me that my Mom told him she was a witch. She practiced withcraft a little before I was born. I don’t remember her ever telling me that. She did tell me about a couple witches back in the family bloodline, though. I feel i’m a natural born witch. Strange things have happened, i’m had visions that come true. Dreams and nightmares that later actually happened. I’ve been drawn to witchcraft my entire life.

I tried Christianity. I really did. But it never felt right. But i’ve hidden my beliefs for years and will probably continue to do so for the most part, living in this area. After talking to a few friends about, i’m surprised to find people accepting of it and some even interested/consider themselves a witch or Wiccan.

I’ve been even more interested in witchcraft and Wicca after meeting another witch. She’s a natural born witch, too, not someone who converted to the religion. We have a strong, spiritual bond. I’ve been embracing my spirituality a bit more lately. I feel like i’m not so alone in my beliefs.

I like to believe there IS a higher power. I just don’t know exactly what I believe.

I’m getting tired of blogging at the moment, will be ending this in a second. Still have things running through my mind, just tired of typing. lol I think i’ve been in mild manic state for quite a while. It’s better than depression at least. Ok, I have a little more to blog about after all. lol

I need to figure out what i’m doing (lawyer or not) and file for disability again. Being married, i’d only get $400.....but there is a lot I can do with $400 that I currently do not have. I’ve been donating plasma to have a little spending cash. And I would probably continue even if I get approved for SSI, it’s a good thing to do, and hey, extra money, ya know? But with $400 a month, I could buy some clothes and decent thing that I want but can’t afford right now. Save what I can save. Have an emergency savings, which I so desperately need.

I was thinking the other day about our neighbors. They are awesome. Danny is a good guy, a good friend. The neighbors on the other side seem like really good people. They even surprised us by mowing our lawn once while we were away. I want to make something. Banana bread, a cake, maybe cookies and give them to both neighbors. Show them that we appreciate them. Good neighbors are a blessing, we are lucky. We have neighbors a couple house down that seem cool, too. They are different. Unique. I guess kinda alternative or punk style. I’m wanting to invite them to one of our get togethers soon.

Not sure if we’ll be having a get together this weekend. If everything goes as planned, Cassie, Dena, Crystal and I will be going to Cherokee NC Saturday. Cassie wants to meet a guy she knows online. It will be fun, if it works out for us to go. :) If we get back in time, may drink a lil Saturday night. Or maybe not. Idk. I think the guys plan to have a friend or two over while we’re gone. Guys night and girls road trip. lol I may see if Cassie would wanna let her brother Matt stay here with the guys, so it’s truly a girls trip. That, and I think it would fun for Matt. He’s young, but that doesn’t matter, they could play video games or just whatever.

Then, Sunday, we (Me, Mark, Nathan, Crystal and Sierra) or making another road trip, to go see my brother. I want to see him, it’s been a while, and at the same time, I want him to meet Crystal. I told him about her, and about the feelings and things, the other day. He was shocked, never had a clue that I was bicurious. lol He’s supportive of it, though.

Mark’s tried to be supportive too. It’s a little different for him. And we talked, he has been worried that i’d completely fall for her and leave him. That’s not going to happen. It’s not a one or the other kind of situation.

I was cuddly with him in bed yesterday morning, and I asked him if he’d be more ok with it if he was a part of it, if and when it ever turns physical. But he’s only with me. If I ever had an actual threesome, i’d likely lose feelings for him. That;’s what happened with the last time a boyfriend and I had a threesome. That was with two guys, never had a girl/girl/guy threesome. But, I broke up with him right after. I don’t know why my feeling changed. But I do NOT want that to happen with him. He treats me so well, he amazing. What worries me, if he is involved at all, even just participating with me only, will that change my feelings for him, too. I really don’t know. For the most part, my feelings are like a light switch that I have control over. On/off.

Now let me add.............IF I were to feel comfortable with him being there, Crystal would be the one to make the final decision. It depends on what she’s comfortable with. I still don’t even know how I feel about it. If we go there, I kinda wanted it to be just her and I. I want it to be pure an special. She means a lot to me. With a guy, I like rough and wild sex. But I feel that if I were ever to be with her in that way, i’d want it to be a little different.

Now, that’s IF we ever explore the physical side of things. I am curious about it, and I honestly think i’d better good at it. I’m a very oral person. But I don’t know if it may feel......awkward? I don’t think it would be, as close as we are. I don’t even know how she feels about going there. I don’t know how I feel completely either. I’m thinking I may be comfortable with it at some point. But, at this point, i’m content with the way things are. Spending time together, holding hands, a little kiss here and there. It’s new to me, and new to her, but it feels right.

If/when we ever do... I think it would be nice to go in together on a nice hotel room. One with a jaccuzi tub would be a nice touch. Flowers on the nightstand, rose petals on the bed, champagne with strawberries, candles, soft music. I want a special, romantic night. And if we get there and we chicken out (lol) on making love, we could still cuddle and enjoy the room, spend time alone. I’d miss Mark for the night, but it would only be one night. I strongly prefer our first time to be just US. As far as after that, still undecided.

In one way, it would be nice to involve him. It’s one of his fantasies, I believe and truthfully i’ve had threesome fantasies before. Though, with us it wouldn’t be an actual threesome. It would be she and I and him and I. I’m just afraid it will change my feelings somehow. But I feel so close to both of them, it might still feel special with both of them, idk. I don’t want him to feel left out, pushed away. This is just complicated as crap! Oh well, we will figure it out in time.

I want to plan a romantic hotel night with Mark sometime, too. I’ve been wanting that for so long. I always hoped he would plan something like that for me. I guess i’ll be the one planning it. Would be more special if he did, though. Nathan even offered to pay for the room for us at one point. Which was sweet and surprising. Wish when I was with Nathan he would have done that kind of thing for me more often. I remember getting jacuzzi sweet one time, but i’m pretty sure it was my idea? Not totally sure.

I wish Nathan had been more affectionate with me back when we were together. I don’t think we would have fallen apart the way we did. (BUT, I wouldn’t have met Mark, so I do believe things happen for a reason). He was never very affectionate, he never caressed my skin, tickled my back or anything unless I asked. And even then, could tell he didn’t want to and would conveniently fall asleep while doing so. lol

Mark, he’s very affectionate. He’s often wanting to hold my hand or cuddle, or both. Kisses, caresses, often without being asked. He likes to rub my butt..lol Makes me feel wanted. He’s an amazing guy, I love him so much. He’s the only guy i’ve been with who is that affectionate, other than my first fiance when I was 17. I loved how affectionate he was, but he turned into an abusive jerk. Mark, he’s never been abusive toward me, he hardly even gets angry at me, doesn’t yell at me. I hit him at one point, unfortunately, and he didn’t hit me back. We really don’t even fight. We rarely get a little aggravated at each other. And it’s already been 5 years.

I feel bad about the way things happened with Nathan. I didn’t treat him the way I wished I had. I was pretty good to him, but not good enough. We had our problems. And then his lack of affection made me feel more like we were friends than lovers. I am happy that he’s still in my life, and hope he always will be. But I do wish I could go back and fix a few things. I had a hard time handling emotions and stress, I was not being treated for my bipolar, so that didn’t help. All those animals kept us stressed, that was a huge mistake.

Mark keeps falling asleep, I wonder why he’s so tired today. Hope he’s not getting sick. I planned to donate today, but I think i’m going to do it Tues an Thurs instead. Need the money though, there is a pretty white floral dress I want, it’ like $22, a good deal. I figure it would be a good dress to wear for Easter. Yes, I tend to plan way ahead. lol But, it’s so pretty.

I got my black hair dye last night. I and re-doing the underneath black, and maybe put a few streaks throughout. But, my roots are already showing, so i’m probably going to wait until I recolor with red. I got a really light blonde for Sierra’s highlights and burgundy for underneath. If her grandma sees it, she will bitch like she did last time. lol I personally think it looks good!

Alright, this time i’m really going to go. lol Will blog again soon! :)

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itsworn · 7 years

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How to Rewire a 1965 Plymouth Barracuda the Painless Way

I have been toiling on my Barracuda project for the last seven years and have sworn to finish this ride before the height of the summer cruise season. Wish me luck.

During the build it became obvious that my mix of old-school and new parts just wasn’t going to cut it in every instance. Sure, adding a modern supercharger on top of a built 1974 360 is not a bad idea, but throwing a 50-year-old wiring harness into the mix and hoping for dependability just wasn’t wise.

We called in Painless Performance, a leader in aftermarket hot rod and muscle car wiring, for help. The company sent us its corresponding Mopar harness kit to help end our wiring woes. For the installation, we hooked up with the muscle car pros at the Early Vette Shop in Shohola, Pennsylvania. Co-proprietor and chief tech Joe Erven was more than happy to take out the old and make room for the new—harness, that is.

1 I have done lots of upgrades to my 1965 Barracuda, including a Paxton supercharger and modern technology like electric fans and fuel pumps. Once we get the wiring up to snuff, there won’t be much holding us back from getting this Fish out on the street.

2 We ordered a complete new wiring harness for the Plymouth from Painless Performance. After we answered a few questions about our particular ’Cuda, Painless sent us its corresponding kit, complete with appropriate tie-ins for our outboard gear.

3 Don’t let the name fool you. The Early Vette Shop proprietors, Mike Walsh and Joe Erven, are well versed in all brands of muscle cars from the glory days of horsepower. Here Erven removes the old wiring harness from the engine bay and interior.

4 We were careful to keep everything that was removed from the Barracuda in case we needed parts from the old wiring harnesses to finish the installation (and we would). Once we pulled all the old wiring from the front half of the car, we got down to brass tacks.

5 After the Barracuda’s firewall junction box was removed, we installed this firewall access plate to clean up the area and give ourselves a nice routing spot to bring the front end of the harness through. We will feed all the key elements in the front end and engine bay through this port.

6 Here we see the new Painless Performance harness on the left and the original Barracuda dash harness on the right. The Painless product is a complete system, containing everything we will need under the hood, in the dash, and throughout the body. A plus in our book is the fact that this system eliminates the original bulkhead connector, which has been the point of problems for many a Mopar restorer.

7 We definitely got an upgrade at the fuse box. In place of the old-style glass fuses is a complete 21-circuit 12-fuse box, which will be installed out of sight under the dash. Not only is it a step above the original, but it’s also a third of the size.

8 When it comes down to the wires, this harness does not disappoint. Each wire is custom printed with the circuit identification and uses the original Mopar wire color coding for easy identification.

9 Here we have installed the fuse box above the left-hand kick panel, far out of the way. This will give us a short run to both the engine bay and to the points out back.

10 The wires are sorted according to their final destination. Even though Painless did a good job of bundling, we need to go through each wire, making sure it is sent to the correct destination.

11 Once Erven finds the wires heading to the back of the car, he tapes them together in preparation of threading them through the side channel along the inside rocker and then out through the inner quarter-panel and to the trunk area.

12 Conversely, we thread the engine and front-end harness through the service hole to supply the engine bay with its circuits. Once again, Erven tapes all the necessary wires together to easily thread them through the space provided.

13 From here the wires are separated into groups, sending each set to their corresponding destination. Once ready, Erven will start installing them at their respective junctures.

14 I was concerned about getting the needed wires back into the trunk area to continue the process. We really didn’t want to start pulling out door panels and finished back panels. Erven attached the end of the Painless Performance wires to the original rear harness. I pulled as he guided it over the wheelwells and into the trunk area.

15 While we are out back, we dig into the rear lights. Painless Performance supplies the gold tip contacts for the light sockets. You will have to reuse your original sockets with this Mopar kit, so don’t throw away your old harness. With his cut/crimp tool, Erven installs the tips after we thread the wires through the sockets. We get the back lights done and then install our stock bulbs.

16 At the headlight buckets, we use the new pigtails supplied by Painless and crimp them onto the respective feed.

17 Erven also picks a good spot for the ground, which will be reused at a later time for other grounds and possibly a relay.

18 Also included with the kit is a master 60-amp fuse, which will protect us against a total meltdown. This will be installed near the fuse box, over the kick panel.

19 Erven cross-references the wiring schematic. Painless Performance supplies a clear and detailed rundown of the basic wiring for our Mopar. Here Erven checks on the original Barracuda schematic he pulled up on his phone to make sure it is all kosher.

20 Erven installs the corresponding wiring to the light switch. We bought a new switch, as our original one had some issues. We did reuse the chrome knob and installation nut.

21 The gauge cluster plug hooks onto the back of the original gauge pack. Erven is now splicing the corresponding harness wires to the original wires and pins.

22 Painless included this relay for the Barracuda’s electric fuel pump. It is wired to make sure we always have a consistent 12 volts of power to the pump out back.

23 Even though Painless supplied a new electric fan harness and relay, we kept our original one because the car is running a single fan now, not a dual setup (we changed fans). The fan relay is wired to the temperature sensor on the front of the intake manifold. When the engine gets up to temperature, it will ground and engage the fan for cooling.

24 Erven starts adding loom to our wiring scheme. Painless supplies two styles of loom in all thicknesses so you can cover most any grouping of wires. Here the temperature sensor feeds into a larger loom on its way back to the fuse box.

25 The finished engine bay. As we were wiring the Barracuda, we realized that an alternator upgrade was needed. We purchased a new Powermaster 75-amp unit so this Barracuda will never be without a good charge. Once we installed it, Erven continued on, and finished looming the engine bay. As you see here, all wires are loomed and the overall look is clean and in control.

26 Erven recommended using extra gauges to keep track of our supercharged engine. We bought a nice threesome of meters from Classic Instruments (temperature, volt meter, oil pressure). Not only are these products topnotch, but the white faces and old-school design blend in well with my interior and original cluster. Here Erven wires up the trio.

27 After wiring the back of the cluster, we are ready to reinstall it.

28 Just about there. The headlight bright switch is all wired up, and you can see the pack of wires headed to the back. We will loom these as well, and then place the wires in the channel along the inside rocker panel.

29 We had previously sourced this three-gauge panel (and painted it argent silver to match), knowing we were going to have to add to the original dash setup to keep track of my supercharged motor. Once wired up, these new gauges fit snugly underneath the radio delete panel.

30 The finished interior. Everything looks the way it should. We are ready to get this baby fired up for testing. Painless Performance’s name says it all. This procedure turned out to be as painless as we had hoped.

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sherristockman · 7 years

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How to Boost Brain Performance and Prevent Dementia Using No- or Low-Cost Strategies Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola Alzheimer’s is an epidemic, currently affecting an estimated 5.4 million Americans. Unless there are radical changes, many experts project half of us will eventually acquire it. Since diet is one of the root causes, diet is also a foundational prevention and treatment strategy. This is an important point, considering there are no meaningful conventional treatments for this devastating disease. Drugs like Namenda or Aricept, which are commonly prescribed for Alzheimer’s, have very limited effectiveness, and come with potentially serious side effects. But other healthy lifestyle strategies also need to come into play for a truly holistic approach. In this interview, Dr. David Perlmutter, a board-certified neurologist and author of The New York Times best seller “The Grain Brain Whole Life Plan: Boost Brain Performance, Lose Weight, and Achieve Optimal Health,” shares his insights into core strategies that will help boost brain performance and dramatically reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s. “The Grain Brain Whole Life Plan” is an extension and continuation of his previous book, “The Grain Brain: The Surprising Truth About Wheat, Carbs and Sugar — Your Brain’s Silent Killers.” Perlmutter’s own father died from Alzheimer’s — a death he has since realized was preventable, which has acted as a driving force for his work. “To be clear, no one inherits Alzheimer’s. Some of us who have relatives [with] Alzheimer’s … are at increased risk. We certainly know there are some genes, the apoliprotein E (ApoE) 3, 2 and 4 genes that are playing a role in carrying the ApoE-4 allele. It does increase a person’s risk. But this is not a determinant that you will or won’t get the disease. It does indicate that you have a higher risk for that disease. But the beauty of what we are talking about is you can offset that risk. You can change your destiny,” Perlmutter says. Primary Risk Factors for Alzheimer’s Disease According to Perlmutter, your diet is by far the greatest contributing risk factor. To prevent Alzheimer’s, you need to focus on a diet that powers your brain and body with healthy fats, not net carbs (total carbohydrates minus fiber). Perlmutter’s book centers around the notion that your body prefers burning fat because it’s efficient, and it minimizes production of free radicals and reduces inflammation. Becoming an efficient fat burner not only helps prevent Alzheimer’s but also Parkinson’s, coronary artery disease, diabetes, cancer and other chronic health conditions. “It’s a broad net that is thrown when we change our diet and finally get rid of the sugar and this bombardment of our physiology with carbs, the likes of which our gene array has never seen before,” he says. “It’s very empowering, the notion that we can change the expression of our life code, our DNA, by making certain choices in our lifestyle, like our dietary choices, exercise, making sure we get adequate sleep, reducing stress and having good social relationships. All of these epigenetic factors change the expression of your DNA, and can change our destiny even as it relates to Alzheimer’s risk.” Why Nutritional Ketosis Is so Beneficial for Health and Brain Function When your body burns fat as its primary fuel, ketones are created, which not only burn very efficiently and are a superior fuel for your brain, but also generate fewer reactive oxygen species (ROS) and less free radical damage. But that’s not all. “It’s more than just the utility of powering our cells with fat that is the beauty of this type of diet. When you do cut your carbs and sugars, and you add in adequate amounts of healthy fat, your body does produce ketones, one of which is called beta hydroxybutyrate. It turns out [that’s] not just an ideal fuel source for your cells to burn, but beta hydroxybutyrate is [also] an epigenetic player. It actually has huge effects on the expression of your DNA … [W]hen you’re in mild ketosis and your body is availing itself now of this chemical beta hydroxybutyrate, it stimulates changes in the expression of your DNA, which is positive, reducing inflammation, increasing detoxification pathways and increasing your body’s antioxidant production.” Beta hydroxybutyrate also stimulates specific receptors on cells called g-proteins. When these receptors are tagged by this beta hydroxybutyrate during mild ketosis, it helps reduce the activation of pathways that lead to inflammation, and inflammation is a driver in most all chronic diseases, be it Alzheimer’s, heart disease, diabetes or cancer. So it’s not merely about powering your cells with fat. This type of diet — high in healthy fats, moderate in protein and low in net carbs — also helps alter your metabolism, thereby paving the way for health. The Case for Feast-Famine Cycling Opposed to Continuous Ketosis To shift your body into fat-burning mode, you need to dramatically reduce your net carbs, as your body will typically use whatever glucose is available first. However, that doesn’t mean you can never have large amounts of carbs ever again. In fact, remaining in nutritional ketosis for years on end may be ill advised. If your insulin level goes too low, you actually increase your liver’s production of glucose. If the liver’s production of glucose isn’t suppressed by insulin, you’ll end up with high blood sugar even if you’re eating virtually no carbohydrates. In my new book, “Fat for Fuel,” I recommend feast-famine cycling instead of continuous ketosis for this reason. By periodically pulsing higher carb intakes, consuming say 100 or 150 grams of carbs, opposed to 40 to 60 grams per day, your ketone levels will actually dramatically increase and your blood sugar will drop. In addition to that, insulin — while required for lipogenesis (the production of fat) — is also needed for the production of protein. When you’re in extreme nutritional ketosis and drive your insulin level down to really low levels 24/7, you will not have adequate amounts of insulin to manufacture protein. This precedes wasting, as you start to lose muscle mass, which is not a healthy state. Beware of Eliminating Healthy Carbs Perlmutter also warns against abstaining from fiber-rich carbs. These prebiotic foods nurture the healthy bacteria in your gut, because when you eliminate these foods you can negatively affect your microbiome. This is why I continuously stress the importance of reducing your NET carbs, meaning only the sugar-based carbs that have little to no fiber. Remember, vegetables are carbohydrates, and those you can eat without limit. “It’s important that those carbohydrates remain part of the program, especially fiber-rich foods that are rich in prebiotic fiber: jicama, chicory root, dandelion greens, garlic, onions and leeks,” Perlmutter says. “I think that is a big player in terms of why people have such an issue when they go into full-blown ketosis.” Exercise Rejuvenates and Regenerates Your Brain “The Grain Brain Whole Life Plan” covers not only diet, but also an array of other lifestyle factors that are important for optimal neurological health, including exercise, sleep and stress management. Perlmutter recounts an event that showed him just how impactful stress and emotions can be — and conversely, the healing impact of positive emotions like gratitude. This personal story is also in his book. Besides addressing your emotions and stress, exercise is another very important strategy. Certain exercises are particularly good for increasing brain-derived neurotropic factor (BDNF), which has potent rejuvenating effects on both your muscles and your brain. High BDNF levels have also been correlated to a dramatic reduction in Alzheimer’s risk. As noted by Perlmutter, BDNF “does nothing short of help you grow a new brain.” “It turns out that any aerobic exercise will do this. This was just published several months ago — a new study done by Dr. Kirk Eriksen at UCLA. The conclusion was that regular participants in aerobic exercise, whatever their age have a 50 percent reduced risk of Alzheimer’s. That’s an important statement. They can garden, they can walk, they can swim, bike — whatever it is that gets their heart rate up. They demonstrated these profound changes on brain scans … ” Raising BDNF Through Natural Means May Be More Effective Than Stem Cell Therapy Turmeric can also raise BDNF, as can the animal-based omega-3 fat DHA. DHA is not really a fuel like other fats but, rather, a structural component of your cells. It actually integrates into your cell membranes, and it’s the only fat known to do that and not burn as fuel like virtually every other fat that you eat. When you consider that 50 percent of the fat in your brain is DHA, the importance of this omega-3 fat becomes more readily recognizable. DHA also acts as a COX-2 inhibitor and a powerful anti-inflammatory. According to Perlmutter, recent research also suggests whole coffee fruit concentrate (also called coffee cherry) is one of the most powerful ways of raising BDNF. “When you pick a coffee bean, it’s not actually the bean you’re picking. It’s the berry. The bean is the center part. The seed is what you make your coffee out of. But the rest of the fruit then undergoes an extraction process and makes this whole coffee fruit concentrate that now has been shown to dramatically raise BDNF levels. You’ll be able to buy that, I suspect, in the health food store pretty soon,” he says. “But I want to emphasize that the best thing you can do if you want to raise BDNF levels and therefore grow new brain cells, is to … buy a new pair of sneakers [and] become active … That turns on your body’s production of BDNF [and] helps you grow new brain cells … When we turn on the growth of our new brain cells by exercise and increasing BDNF, that increases the growth of stem cells exactly where they need to be in the brain’s memory center. There are companies that do stem cell therapy for neurodegenerative conditions around the globe … The challenge with stem cell therapy is getting those cells to where they need to be and then hoping they differentiate into the type of cells needed. What we see with the endogenous stem cell therapy, in other words, BDNF brought on by exercise, coffee fruit and turmeric, is that that’s exactly what happens. Those stem cells grow where they are needed. They develop into fully functional brain cells and they migrate to areas where they are needed as well.” Other Important Benefits of Exercise Besides boosting BDNF and promoting neuroplasticity, exercise also increases an important metabolic signal called peroxisome proliferator-activated receptor gamma coactivator (PGC-1α), which increases mitochondrial biogenesis. The PGC-1α pathway regulates both mitochondrial activity and mitochondrial replication. This is important, as your brain is the most mitochondrially-dense organ in your body. “It turns out that mitochondria do more than just help us produce energy and power our cells,” Perlmutter explains. “Mitochondria are actually involved in determining which cell lives or dies … This is mitochondrial therapy. We’re now looking upon Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s as acquired mitochondropathies or mitochondrial diseases that can be acquired by exposure to toxins, like we see with Parkinson’s, or just direct toxic effects on mitochondria based upon diet. For example, a high sugar diet is toxic to mitochondria. Here is yet a third benefit to aerobic exercise that has just been published. It now looks as if those who engage in aerobic exercise have a wider diversity of gut bacteria. The more exercise you do, the more diverse are the organisms that live in your gut. That correlates with better health, reduced inflammation and a more balanced immune system. I think we’ve given out three very powerful reasons that people need to engage in aerobics.” An important and fascinating side note here is the findings of Dr. Dale Bredesen, a UCLA researcher who, by leveraging 36 different healthy lifestyle parameters, was able to reverse Alzheimer’s in 9 out of 10 patients. This included the use of exercise, ketogenic diet, optimizing vitamin D and other hormones, increasing sleep, meditation, detoxification and eliminating gluten and processed food. His work was published in the journal Aging in 2014. You can download the full-text case paper online, which details the full program.1 According to Bredesen, “The results … suggest that, at least early in the course, cognitive decline may be driven in large part by metabolic processes,” which is exactly what Perlmutter is suggesting. How Light Affects Brain Function Interestingly, research shows people living in northern latitudes have higher rates of death from dementia and Alzheimer’s than those living in sunnier areas, suggesting vitamin D and/or sun exposure are important factors. I recently interviewed Dr. Lew Lim about the use of near-infrared light as a treatment for Alzheimer’s, known as photobiomodulation. About 40 percent of the rays in sunlight is near-infrared. I should be publishing that shortly, so be sure to keep an eye out for it. This is a truly fascinating area that appears very promising. Near-infrared light is thought to work by interacting with cytochrome c oxidase (CCO) — one of the proteins in the inner mitochondrial membrane and a member of the electron transport chain. CCO is a chromophore — a molecule that attracts and feeds on light. In short, sunlight helps your cells make the best use of whatever food they have, and improves the generation of energy (ATP). The optimal wavelength for stimulating CCO lies in two regions, red at 630 to 660 nm and near-infrared at 810 to 830 nm. Photobiomodulation also improves oxygenation to your cells. One of the ways it does this is by releasing nitric oxide (NO) back into your body after being exposed to red and near-infrared rays. NO is a vasodilator that helps relax your blood vessels, lower your blood pressure and improve vascular health. When you deliver red and infrared light to the mitochondria, it also promotes synthesizing of gene transcription factors that trigger cellular repair, and this is as true in the brain as anywhere else in your body. While daily sun exposure is likely your best option, followed by specialized technology such as near-infrared treatments, other devices emitting the near-infrared spectrum may also be beneficial. Lim has invented a photobiomodulation device for neurological health and the treatment of dementia, but if you’re on a budget, you could use a near-infrared (850 nm) security light from Amazon. I position it over my head for brain health. As noted by Perlmutter, vitamin D is also crucial, and vitamin D is, of course, another important effect derived from sensible sun exposure. The Importance of Sleep Sleep is another factor that can play a significant role in your brain health, as your brain can only detoxify and clean itself out during deep sleep. “We look at the correlative studies that are really quite profound in showing that interrupted sleep, dropping out of restorative sleep, and even full-blown sleep apnea have strong correlations to risk for Alzheimer’s disease. There are multiple reasons for that. We know that, for example, if you measure inflammatory markers, like C-reactive protein and others, they correlate quite nicely to tumor necrosis factor alpha, with the degree of abnormality of a person’s sleep,” Perlmutter says. “We recognize that the brain undergoes some fundamental housekeeping during the course of sleeping. It’s not like everything shuts down. That’s when the brain tidies up. That’s when we are activating what’s called the brain’s glymphatic system to help clear debris. [Recent] research … [also] indicates that during sleep, the brain may undergo what’s called synaptic pruning. What that means is we spend our whole day making new connections between brain cells, but we rely upon the fact that during sleep, we reduce some of those connections because they may not be necessary. We don’t overrun the hard drive here with all these connections that are not necessarily important for us. I talk about, in my new book, all types of ideas people can pursue to improve their sleep … So many watch the 11 o’clock news, which these days are enough to keep anybody awake, then wonder why they can’t sleep … Again, it’s trying to emulate the fact that we would go to sleep when the sun went down and wake up when the sun came up. It’s desperately important. It’s a very important lifestyle choice right there with eating and exercise.” Not only will late-night TV watching prevent you from falling asleep quickly by shutting down the production of melatonin — a potent antioxidant and hormone that triggers sleepiness — the type of programming you choose to watch will also affect your brain health. As noted by Perlmutter, “if you bombard yourself with all the stuff going on around you, the world does look like a very dark and scary place. That raises your cortisol level. That’s toxic to your brain’s memory center. That sets the stage.” You can somewhat mitigate the negative impact of artificial lights and electronic screens in the evening by wearing blue-blocking glasses. I put on my orange-colored glasses as soon as the sun sets. “Again, it’s important from a genetic perspective because our ancestors’ genomes were honed to be perfectly responsive to that environment. We have that same genome today and we have to do our very best to emulate that [ancient] environment and cater to it — get enough sleep, be physically active, and eat a diet that doesn’t have much sugar or [net] carbs in it.” Social Interaction Besides exercise, sleep and sun exposure, another no-cost practical strategy that can benefit your brain health is improving your social interactions. There are so-called “blue zones” around the world where people have better health and live longer. What do they do differently than other folks? A healthier diet is one thing, but they also tend to be more physically active and socially involved. “They have networks. These are societies in which the elderly, for example, are integrated and are valued and remain an active part of their communities,” Perlmutter explains. “This has, from a chemical perspective, a profound effect on lowering cortisol and raising other things in the body, for example like oxytocin, which happens to be called the love chemical. I would suspect that in humans, there are probably even changes seen in the gut bacteria in the microbiome … [T]here was an interesting report [showing] … the level of beta-amyloid correlated with changes in gut bacteria. When there were no gut bacteria, there was actually less of the beta-amyloid produced in this genetically modified rodent, as opposed to when there was a standard gut bacteria. The reason I mention it is because there is a big push to develop medications that can rid the brain of beta-amyloid … But how intriguing it is that those of us who are focused on the gut bacteria are now recognizing that it may play a role from such a fundamental level, in terms of the production of amyloid protein in the brain.” Is it Advisable to Eat Wheat? I recently interviewed John Douillard, author of “Eat Wheat: A Scientific and Clinically-Proven Approach to Safely Bringing Wheat and Dairy Back Into Your Diet.” In that interview, I noted Perlmutter appeared willing to embrace many of Douillard’s notions, which center around the idea that there’s a significant difference between whole unrefined wheat and refined processed wheat, and that once gut dysfunction has been properly healed, eating whole wheat can be very healthy. “Let me first say that I have known John Douillard for about 25 years … I love the guy,” Perlmutter says. “He’s dedicated to health. I interviewed him as well and I have to say that I don’t agree with him. His contention is that our ancestors ate wheat at certain times of the year, and that most people can eat wheat and some people cannot. Again, I give him every benefit of the doubt, but I told him in the interview that I don’t agree with him in the nicest way I could. The thing about wheat and other gluten-containing products … is that gluten, because of its content of another protein called gliadin, is threatening to the lining of the gut. Dr. Alessio Fasano’s research at Harvard has made it quite clear that gliadin, which is found in wheat, barley and rye, causes increased leakiness or permeability in the gut of all humans … That’s a surefire way to imbalance the immune system and augment inflammation in the body … I want to tell you something very interesting as an observation. After I did that interview with Douillard, the comments on the interview were so positive … because of the fact that we disagreed but we were respectful of each other. We heard each other’s side. We didn’t interrupt. That certainly seems to be pretty unusual these days. I’ll leave it at that. Again, I think he’s a terrific guy. It’s fine to disagree.” Annual Symposium for the Institute for Functional Medicine Perlmutter is chairman of the Institute for Functional Medicine’s 2017 Annual International Conference, “The Dynamic Brain,” held in Los Angeles June 1 through June 3. The meeting will focus on neurogenesis and neuroplasticity allowing recovery from neural degenerative conditions. Speakers include Bredesen, Michael Merzenich, the leading pioneer in brain plasticity research at the Buck Institute, Rudolph Tanzi, professor of neurology at Harvard, who will speak about how activity and lifestyle changes affect BDNF, Dr. Terry Wahls, who will speak about strategies to upregulate mitochondrial function and the PGC-1α pathway through diet and other lifestyle choices, and Dr. Joe Pizzorno, a naturopathic physician who will speak about toxicity and detoxification. “I’ll do the opening keynote … But also, I will focus on the emerging science of the microbiome and how that relates to this so-called gut-brain connection,” Perlmutter says. Online registration for the event closes on May 30, 2017. For more information about how to safeguard yourself against Alzheimer’s and other chronic disease, I highly recommend picking up a copy of Perlmutter’s book, “The Grain Brain Whole Life Plan: Boost Brain Performance, Lose Weight, and Achieve Optimal Health.” He’s also written three other books on the topics of eliminating grains for optimal health and optimizing brain health: “The Grain Brain,” “The Grain Brain Cookbook,” and “Brain Maker.” I also will be releasing a new book, “Fat for Fuel” in May, which will delve into the finer details of nutritional ketosis and its health benefits, which includes improved brain health. Incidentally, Perlmutter was one of over two dozen medical experts who helped edit the book, and I’m deeply grateful for his invaluable contributions. “I’m really very excited for your new book. I had the opportunity to read it ahead of time and I will tell all your viewers that this is going to be a homerun. Not just in terms of being successful, but a homerun for everyone who reads it. I want to close with a quote if I could. It’s from Ralph Waldo Emerson … ‘Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail’ … All of us are outliers clearly. You have really left a trail for so many people to follow that isn’t where the path may lead. I think it’s so wonderful that you’ve done this all these years and you continue to do it, because it’s a beacon for all of us.” “Fat for Fuel” is my 10th book, but it’s the only one I really had a strong desire to write. It emerged out of sheer passion and a deep-seated concern for those needlessly dying from cancer — and the same fundamental dietary intervention that treats cancer also treats Alzheimer’s, diabetes and obesity. They all have the same fundamental problem, which is mitochondrial dysfunction. The good news is this metabolic dysfunction can be avoided and reversed using simple, no- or low-cost strategies, some of which have been covered in this interview.

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