#where are the memorable lines the way lwjs eyes tell you everything hes thinking the way wheb wkx says wife u know he means zzs is husband

[youaremysunshine-court]

Dislike how explicit bls have made it so its not a bl unless two men are ripping each others clothes off and fucking on every available surface in my opinion a true bl is where the symbolism is in how they drink their wine, if they talk about the red thread of fate, if flowers fall from the sky when they meet, and in how their hands brush one (1) time in episode 26

#kinnporsche has nothing on lwj and wwx on the steps of koi tower actually #and certainly its got nothing on wenzhou linking hands and drinking wine like theyre at their wedding #like okay they had sex. and what? #where are the memorable lines the way lwjs eyes tell you everything hes thinking the way wheb wkx says wife u know he means zzs is husband #like #this might be me being demi but can we go back to subtext i dont actually want to see some dude try to jack kinn off under a table with his #feet #i just want that 'subtlety' free had when they had rin do the anime girl love interest turn when haru professed his undying love #and i want the flirtation through poetry bc no one can say outright that they are flirting #also tian guan ci fu live action and s2 when i loved that #sharing bedrolls cleaning houses together the husband symbolism in ep 1 #excellent brilliant #link click? two guys living together going mad when ones in danger the tsundere one and the cutesy one !!! #what im getting at is i dont mind sexy scenes so long as theyre there for a reason and not just fanservice #and yes wwx shoving a sword up his ass did nothing for plot or symbolism BUT but we got a good 300 pages of pining BEFORE he did that #and when i see edits of mdzs its always the really loving scenes between them #but when i see kinnporsche edits its just them fucking ive seen way too much of those 2 men making out #and i dont like it #where is the emotional substance #like yeah we know wenzhou spent the rest of their days in that cave fucking like rabbits #but also we got 36 episodes and like 5 deaths at least out of it #like before you get to the sex #build up a good plot and good characters #idk #i miss old bls i guess i miss when bl meant boys LOVE not bloys LOVEMAKING is that so much to ask for

[wujipianover]

grief, the price of love

for jiang yanli’s birthday! happy birthday shijie! @mdzsnet

summary: She talks. It’s not entirely appropriate but it’s for Wei Ying so both don’t mind. She tells him about their childhood, stories of Wei Wuxian getting in trouble. She talks about when he first came to Lotus Pier, so tiny. How he ran away at night and she carried him on her back after he fell from a tree. Talked about how he used to lie on boats for hours at a stretch on the rivers of Yunmeng. How he was loved by every single vendor there. Lan Wangji takes in every detail hungrily. Her heart aches for him. There was always something between them that the world never understood, never bothered to understand. He can’t mourn openly. So she talks and hopes her memories would be able to fill the cracks.

(jiang yanli survives nightless city. she learns she isn't the only one left that cares for her wei ying)

grief is the price you pay for love

tags: jiang yanli lives, grief/mourning, cooking as therapy, jyl teaches lwj how to make soup

read on ao3 if you want!

When she wakes up, it’s to the sound of her little brother singing a lullaby that their mother used to sing, long long back ago with a sleeping A-Ling in his arms. She smiles, warmly. And then there is pain, unbearable pain all over her body and Jiang Cheng is getting up and fretting.

“A-jie! You’re up! Thank God!”

The relief that washes over him is palpable.

Then everything comes back to her. She was stabbed. Her hand ghosts over her abdomen that is covered with bandages. Dark, heavy grief settles over her. He’s gone. Otherwise he would be here, she knows him enough to know that.

“A-Ying?,” she trails off. A lone tear escapes unknowingly.

The Zidian around Jiang Cheng’s arm crackles menacingly. He’s grinding his teeth, a habit he’s had since he was 6. But now his eyes are dark and anger rolls off of him. He clutches A-Ling tighter.

“He’s dead. Had been dead to me long before.”

And that’s the end of the conversation.

Jiang Yanli’s heart shatters. She knew that. She knew everything that her Wei Ying had done. She looks over to her son and feels some of the weight lessen. But she still loves Wei Ying. Loved Wei Ying, something ugly reminds her.

She’s trying to not sob, all the heartache forming a lump in her throat when she falls asleep again.

*

She wakes up again to quiet. A moment later a nurse walks in and checks on her.

She wants to see her son again. She has to talk to A-Cheng again. Above all, she needs to see her Xianxian again. 

She wasn’t done mourning for her husband. His loss, she feels in her heart, something she carries everyday. Jin Zixuan was not always kind to her. But later, there was love, so much love. It had washed over her and cleansed her off everything bad they had to endure. Wei Wuxian’s absence at the wedding was felt by all. But she had smiled and that hadn’t felt like a lie. But she never blamed the loss on Wei Wuxian. She knows him. Knew him.

Jiang Cheng walks into the room a while later. The nurse had told her that she had been asleep for two days. Seeing A-Cheng’s face erupt into a smile settles some of the sorrow stirring in her. She has him.

He kneels beside her bed.

“A-jie, I am so glad you’re up! We will be travelling to Lanling tomorrow and I wish I could stay with you there. I could if Wei Wuxian had kept his promise,” he stops himself. Clenching his jaw he says, “Well then, none of this would have happened.” His voice is softer, melancholic.

 Her heart gives out. “You know none of this is his fault,” she tries gently.

“How can you still believe that?” He looks from where his face was buried in his hands. There are dark bruises under his eyes. He’s not been sleeping well. Too young, he’s too young and he has experienced more grief for a lifetime. He’s a sect leader now and the weight of responsibilities are visible in the tense line of his shoulders. “After all this?” HIs voice is choked.

Jian Cheng, she realizes needs reassurance because deep down, the parts covered by formalities and duties, he feels the same as him.

“Because you knew him”

“I don’t think I did.” There is finality in his words. He gets up suddenly and steels his expressions. The face of a sect leader.

“The Jiang sect has cut all ties with Wei Wuxian. His death will not change this fact.”

He salutes her. This is too formal. She wants to go back to a moment before.

“I will ask a nurse to bring A-Ling to you. Shijie needs to rest for her journey tomorrow.”

He turns on his heels and leaves before she can get a word out.

*

Life goes on. It takes a month to learn to walk again. A month more till she can hold her son again. It’s painful. There is an ugly scar on her belly but it acts as a reminder that someone, someone was there for Wei Wuxian. So it’s beautiful. 

She wrestles her way into sect leader business much to the dismay of Jin Guangshan. Too long, she had gone on living in the shadows. There’s not a lot she can do, what with not being able to travel to other sects. But she attends meetings at Lanling and no one has dared to question her presence. She survived a knife to her belly. She has seen too much loss. She is strong and capable.

Jiang Cheng refuses to acknowledge Wei Wuxian. Rumours fly around that he gave the final blow that killed him. Her Xianxian ceases to exist, replaced by stories and myths of the Yiling Patriarch. It’s as if he was never a person before. As if he was never a boy. Just a boy.

So she flings herself into complaints from the villagers in Lanling. They are young, honest, ordinary people. They have problems that don’t take cultivation to solve. So she devotes herself to their needs, and then to the needs of the people who come to her from far away. Wei Wuxian did the same thing with the Wens. He was right. She wishes she had told him that, or tried to convince others of that.

She nurses his memory too, he will be alive in them. She remembers him smiling. He was born with a smile that could compete with the sun. It’s lonely though, being the only one alive who cares about him.

And then she gets a letter. And is reminded that she is not alone in loving Wei Ying.

Respected Young Lady Jiang,

I hope this Second Young Master Lan doesn’t offend Young Lady Jiang by sending this. Sect Leader Jiang informed me of your recovery. It comes as good news.

I am not aware of how much Lady Jiang has been informed on the matters of Wei Ying. This young master feels the need to inform that they still haven’t found a body. I continue to play Inquiry every night in hopes to find Wei Ying’s spirit. If there are any developments, Young Lady Jiang would be the first one to know.

This humble brother apologizes for any breach of privacy.

Wei Ying’s Lan Zhan.

She reads the letter again. How foolish for her to think that she was all alone in thinking about Wei Wuxian as he was. For the first time in a long time, his memory brings a smile to her face.

*

It gets easier. Time heals. A-Ling is a joy, raising him is second nature. The cultivation world becomes messy and she draws away from it. They have fallen into dramas that are not worthy for sect leaders to get into.

She spends her time talking to the common man and making sure Wei Ying’s Jin Rulan is worthy of his name.

She doesn’t hear from Hanguan-jun. There are whispers, nasty talk of discipline whips and seclusion and a young child. She doesn’t pay heed to any of it. A part of her wishes for another letter. She desperately wants to talk about him. Seems like that’s the only way to keep him alive now.

It’s almost noon and she is in her room going over written grievances to her when there is a knock at the door. It’s Hanguang-jun at the door looking pained and awkward.

They salute each other. “Young master Lan hopes that he doesn’t intrude the privacy of Young Lady Jiang.”

She beckons him to enter in response. He walks inside slowly, regal and elegant but stiff.

“Not at all Hanguang-jun, The letter was appreciated.”

Lan Wangji relaxes at that.

There is a pause, Jiang Yanli guesses he’s wondering what to say.

“Lan Wangji was in seclusion and therefore was not able to play Inquiry all this time. He apologizes”

It confirms what she knew all along, there was no answer.

“It was very kind for Hanguang-jun to try.”

“I wanted to.” It comes out so earnest, Jiang Yanli melts. Lan Wangji’s ears are pinker.

“Will Hanguang-jun want to learn to make A-Ying’s favourite food?”

It’s an indulgence, Lan Wangji would not want to waste his time on such frivolity. She remembers the food of CLoud Recesses and how plain it was. A-Ying’s favourite would not suit Lan Wangji’s palate. It’s more for her sake, making this for his brother’s Lan Zhan would mean more. She goes to apologize when Lan Wangji says softly, “I would like that very much.”

And so they make their way to the kitchen. She makes everyone leave, their mouth agape.

Lan Wanji is silent beside her as she talks him through the recipe. It’s simple soup with lotus and meat. Hanguang-jun is a fast learner and he listens to her attentively, humming his assent occasionally. 

The process is therapeutic. Chopping and stirring and tasting. She can do this in her sleep. The rhythmic movements ease her. The fact that Hanguang-jun’s brows wrinkle like he is trying to memorize every flick of Jiang Yanli’s wrist.

She talks. It’s not entirely appropriate but it’s for Wei Ying so both don’t mind. She tells him about their childhood, stories of Wei Wuxian getting in trouble. She talks about when he first came to Lotus Pier, so tiny. How he ran away at night and she carried him on her back after he fell from a tree. Talked about how he used to lie on boats for hours at a stretch on the rivers of Yunmeng. How he was loved by every single vendor there. Lan Wangji takes in every detail hungrily. Her heart aches for him. There was always something between them that the world never understood, never bothered to understand. He can’t mourn openly. So she talks and hopes her memories would be able to fill the cracks.

“He was born with a smiling face, you know.”

“I know,” he gives the smallest smile.

The soup is ready and she pours them in two bowls. They sit and eat in silence. Lan Wangji’s eyes water and she doesn’t know if it’s from the spice alone.

He leaves without a word after the meal. Jiang Yanli has never felt this content in three years.

*

Sixteen years later a message talisman stirs her from her sleep.

He’s back.

Wei Ying’s Lan Zhan

She comes alive again.

#you deserve the world #mdzsnet #mdzs #the untamed #jiang yanli #lan wangji #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #im late but its my bday tomorrow so its okay #my fic #cql #its sad im sorry