#you all are crazy get well soon

[cuterocks]

another day of me not understanding cishet relationship culture at all

#the things ive been hearing jesus christ #you all are crazy get well soon #do you know its 2023 and you can have one night stands? #i dont understand people #i dont understand anything at all

[heybaetae]

hi

#hi #i am just popping on here for a second bc i’m not in the mood to be back yet but my queue is getting quite full #so i think i might have to unpause it soon #maybe tomorrow idk yet #just a heads up in case i seem active again i’m not really i just had a lot of stuff piling up 😭 #it will be a Huge shuffled mess so patience is appreciated!! #i apologize if you’re waiting on me but thank you for waiting regardless #please keep using my tracked tag for your creations #i will be back for real eventually #my mental health is quite terrible lately i still need time #it’s about to be a year since the last time i saw my sister before she passed so like. my grief is going through a crazy stage #i’m still not getting a ton of sleep #my brain is just Bad things all day #it’s all just really sucky but i’m trying to do my best 🙃 #i hope you are all well i miss you #i will respond to messages at some point too #there are very few which..well it puts things into perspective and validates certain feelings ig lol #it’s all good that’s something i’m working on internally #hopefully i get there #bye again for now 💕

[good-beanswrites]

A little something featuring Fuuta and Es after talking about their criminal lack of interaction in fanworks with @waivyjellyfish ! You had such awesome ideas (a few of which I'm still bouncing around in my head to post at some point,) but this one ended up taking over my brain -- I hope you enjoy 😅 Attempting to answer the widely-debated question:

“Oi, why didn’t you hit me?”

Es looked up from their paperwork.

“Prisoner number three. Most people are glad when they’re not struck.”

“Well, I’m not.” 

Es usually left the door open at this hour, in case anyone had any last-minute complaints before curfew. No one usually took them up on the offer. They figured that if there was any prisoner they could count on to complain, it would be Fuuta marching through their door.

“You hit all the other guys. You even hit some of the girls that were giving you trouble. So what? You think I’m too weak? You think I can’t take it?” Fuuta spread his arms. “I can, so show me what you’ve got!”

Es sighed. They put down their pen. They folded their gloved hands together, resting their chin on top. “Fuuta, I’m not going to hit you.”

“Why not?”

“As of right now, I have no reason to. If you’re referring to the interrogations…”

They reflected on the first one they'd shared with him. To be fair, the thought had crossed their mind. It would have been satisfying to give this rowdy prisoner a taste of his own medicine – striking him after such a dramatic charge at them. But Es was always good at reading people. It didn’t take them long to understand Fuuta was the type to lash out first and ask questions later. In fact, that was likely what had landed him in Milgram in the first place. 

Although Es knew they weren’t here to do any reformation, they wanted to try to show these prisoners where they’d gone wrong. So, they resolved to act as the bigger person. They’d prove that senseless violence was just that. By keeping their composure, they’d show Fuuta just how childish he was being. 

That wasn’t my only reason. I guess that's true, my actions weren’t all purely righteous. I still spent the entire time looking for ways to make him squirm… But it wasn’t all cruelty. I really did want to understand. I wanted to help. That counts for something, right?

Es never struck the prisoners out of anger, or as a petty show of power. It was a way to force the prisoner to mind their ego. When they’d gotten a bit too full of themselves, a bit too comfortable with the awful deed they’d committed, Es’ blow encouraged them to feel a bit more humility and guilt. 

By the time the second trial arrived, Fuuta oozed guilt. 

The moment Es entered the interrogation room, it was clear that he needed no lesson in humility. He hugged his arms to his chest. His remaining eye darted around the room in thinly-veiled hysteria. His voice trembled when he spoke. It didn’t require any people-reading skills to hear the remorse that underlaid all of his accusations and threats.

Hitting the others felt like giving a dog a tap on the nose after breaking a rule. Meanwhile, Fuuta snapped and snarled like a stray who’d been kicked time and time again.

Of course, he could never know any of this. Any way Es phrased it, Fuuta would misunderstand it as pity.

Well, wasn’t it? I thought he looked like a kicked puppy – that sounds a lot like pity. No, it was out of respect. Does that mean I didn’t respect the prisoners I did hit? No. I respected them too. Then, what’s the difference?

Fuuta was still staring at them, asking the very same question. What’s the difference?

“Each of Milgram’s prisoners is unique.” 

They were met with an unimpressed glare.

Es chose their words carefully. “Each one responds best to a variety of treatments. Some need attention to be comfortable, while others need time. Some need validation in order to confess. Others, a bit of debate does the trick. Some need a show of force. You –” remind me too much of myself  “– require something else. I’ve learned to change my approach depending on the person I’m dealing with.”

Fuuta’s features flashed with confusion, then shame, then his usual mask of anger. “Tch. How pathetic.”

“Excuse me?”

“So you just change your personality when it’s convenient? You put up fake smiles and fake attitude? Have some balls and just be yourself.”

Es was caught by surprise. “... I am. Those are all pieces of myself. I choose to bring out different parts when it would be most helpful.” 

“Sounds manipulative as hell to me.” 

It makes sense he doesn’t understand. He’s a very clear-cut person, with every aspect of his personality lining up in a way that makes sense. I find that predictability fun. Or, is it something that I envy? Could it be both?

They had no time to dwell on it, as Fuuta was struck with an idea. “Though, if you can do it on command, why don’t you give me the ‘you’ that wants to hit someone?” 

He spread his arms once more, hands gesturing to his chest. Es pretended not to notice him wince. They remained in their seat. 

“What are you waiting for? Hit me!” 

“I will not.”

“You just said you can change your personality on a whim, so let’s see it!” 

“That is not what I said.”

His good eye began to look frenzied. He raised his voice. “You scared? The big bad warden of Milgram, nothing but a big coward!”

“Stop this. You’re acting childish.”

“No! You’re treating me childishly! Let me see the Es that kicked Shidou! The one that slapped Kazui! Treat me like you treated them!”

“I hit them because they said something stupid. They deserved it.”

“Are you fucking kidding? I deserve it too! I deserve it! Come on!”

At the last word, his voice broke. He stumbled to his knees. He let his head drop. He sucked in strained breath after strained breath. Shidou would surely give him a lecture about getting so worked up with his injuries. 

Es finally stood.

They made their way around the desk. They knelt on the floor in front of him. 

“Why?” he wheezed. “Tell me…”

“Fuuta.” 

Should I just go ahead and do it, just to make him happy? No, I want to talk it out. But what do even I say? I'll tell him that I care. I can’t. None of the prisoners understand that I care. Why? Why is it so hard for them to see? I’m trying my best, why can’t they see? 

Es extended their hand carefully. They didn’t know what they hoped to accomplish, but in that moment their thoughts were too loud and conflicting. They needed to do something.

Fuuta saw the gentle intention, and immediately raised his own hand to strike. It froze midair, though whether it was from Milgram’s restrictions or his own hesitation, Es would never know.

Neither of their gestures connected.

Footsteps. Then Yuno’s voice, hesitantly from the doorway. “We heard shouting, is everything alright in here?”

Es retracted their hand.  A beat. Fuuta dropped his, too. 

“Yuno. Yes, we’re fine. Fuuta was just heading to bed. I’m going to walk him to his cell.”

“I can handle myself.”

“I said, I’m going to walk him to his cell.” 

Es stood, nodding to Yuno. When she’d gone, they turned their attention back to the prisoner crumpled on the ground. They made an effort to quiet their ever-racing thoughts. 

“Listen. I know you can handle yourself. I’m not doing this because I think you’re weak. You’re strong. Don’t think for a moment that I don’t see that.”

They held out their arm to help him up. He didn’t move.

“Sometimes you are a bit too strong, if you ask me. I mean, picking fights with your prison warden, really?” They clicked their tongue. “You should be grateful for a superior that gives you second chances.”

At last, Fuuta  took their hand. He avoided meeting their eyes, but his voice had softened considerably from his rant. “The only thing you give me is a headache.”

Es offered a dry smile as they pulled him to his feet. “The feeling is mutual.”

#milgram #es #fuuta kajiyama #i fully intended on writing something silly/sweet so SORRY this was a lot of drama 😭 silly and sweetness coming soon i promise adsfsdf #i really do think es would see themself in fuuta to some degree #something about them being filled with audience voices and fuuta also being a reflection of the audience... idk... #it makes me crazy how much es cares !!!! their line at the end of baptism of fire about how they dont hate the prisoners #and they now have a connection that cant be broken #and they see them all as comrades #it makes me crazy!!! #they have too many conflicting thoughts/feelings of WARDEN DUTY to flat out say 'hey i care about you' #but they do!!!! ;---; #i had some fun writing es' internal monologue like that! i debated on making it specifically a conversation between voices (using 'you' or #third person pronouns) but i think this still gets the idea across well #i know es never actually gave a straight answer to the final question but i hope this still gave a good peek at their reasoning #i genuinely dont think es pities him but he IS a pathetic wet cat in t2 and that definitely influences their actions in some way #i believe your exact words were 'red-haired fucked up dog' and i hope i could do that image justice 😎👍 #drabbles

[dootznbootz]

With how I'm planning my fics, since Menelaus and Agamemnon spend some years at Tyndarius' palace, I kind of have them all be childhood friends in a way before Agamemnon and Menelaus take back their kingdom (Aga is around 19, Menelaus 15 when they leave. 5-6 years later they get married.) With how their marriages work out when talking about "Old times", Odysseus is the "odd one out" as he was the only one who didn't grow up alongside them. The poor guy is left out.

Odysseus: "Wait, why is everyone laughing? What does that mean? I don't get it." Penelope: "Well you see-" Goes on about a silly story but the inside joke is dumb. "...You probably would've had to have been there to get it" Odysseus:

#I'm so excited for how Ima have the dynamics in my fics >:D #Is this all silly? YEah :D Is it probably unlikely? YEAH. Do I care too much? No. :D you can't tell me they stayed at Tyndarius and NOT mak #them childhood friends to lovers (Agamemnon and Clytemnestra is a different situation but no spoilers lskdfj ) #Odysseus is Menelaus' wingman (at first just going to sightsee and try and win the favors of others) but as soon as Odysseus falls #HARD for Penelope and starts getting a little desperate on how to “woo” her. Menelaus becomes a wingman for him as well #“I know her favorite jewel is Lapis Lazuli but she hates bracelets. She messes with them too much and then they break. don't give those” #Odysseus is frantically writing everything down #I love making these silly people even more silly. I hope that's okay haha #They don't have much time in the Iliad but I love Menelaus' and Odysseus' friendship (based on how Menelaus talks about him in the #odyssey.) And Helen already knows she wants Menelaus but I'll get into that later >:D #If anyone has seen the movie “Up”. Young Carl is young Menelaus and Young Ellie is...Kind of like Helen?? more the “shy boy gets looped #into crazy shenanigans with a sassy girl who thinks he's neat". #“You don't talk very much...I like you!” and Menelaus is just standing there. big eyed and confused but happy. :D #my headcanons #shot by odysseus #Mad rambles

[little-pup-pip]

Hello everyone!! Heads up for tomorrow/today depending on your timezone, there won't be any uploads because I'm super busy with finals! I have 3 papers due by the end of this weekend!! I'll hopefully be back to normal the day after tomorrow!

Also, to those of you who have sent me asks/messages, I'll respond as soon as I can!! I haven't forgotten about you!!

#Today has been crazy #i wrote for like 8 straight hours #at least i have the adhd thing where i will be productive in one thing to procrastinate another #I'm getting work done #just not the work i should be getting done #but all is well #i made waffles with blueberry syrup and grabbed a sippy of apple juice #so I'm doing great #just tired #anyway im rambling #i'll see you soon #!!! #Pip's barks

[goldenhypen]

mayhaps a goldenhypen comeback soon ⁉️🫣

#i think 👀 #ok no promises cuz i suck at sticking around lately but i rlly do wanna come back and i have some wips rn that i wanna share w you guys soon #but most of all imy guys like crazy fr #i’ll try to get back vv soon #hope you guys are all well and taking care <3 #hope to talk to you guys later ! <3 #em speaks

[sappymix1]

can we all just pretend that didn't happen

#who among us hasn't planned to kill themselves and then cried themselves out until they were too tired to be suicidal anymore #IM SORRY IT WAS SO DRAMATIC ONLY TO END IN FUCK ALL #ill be over this tomorrow sorry again thank you to the people in my inbox who were nice to me :(( sorry that happened #im afraid im a crazy bitch to the end #shouldn't even have been posting that to begin with when I know damn well I have zero emotional permanence and will have forgotten what I #was upset about within a couple hours as soon as I get distracted #anyway sorry again I need to learn to be normaler on the internet #sorry it was upsetting :( I feel really bad

[ra-vio]

Recovering from sickness. It snowed recently.

#utau #rune #rune wakane #i didnt do anything yesterday so I woke up and wanted to draw #i dont know if its still snowing. i didn't check again. im in pain #my package got stolen recently. thats what plunged me into deep sickness i believe. i was so excited to get it and then someone stole it #i hope you like bl and depression #so anyway i got a refund. yesterday i couldnt do anything but surprisingly i didnt mope #too much pain and delirious. i hope it all goes away soon. i have to reorder my books or go to the bookstore myself #also tell me why my mom was like im gonna take some money and took a crazy amount like girl you might as well have taken it all! #i gotta go to sleep

[cheritouu]

I don’t think y’all understand how excited I am for procreate dreams like holy shit I could actually make The inbetween Years all by myself

#if you don’t know I’ve been on and off making a pitch for a Robin show/shorts #it’s lowkey kind of way too much work for it to just be fanart so thts why we’re going to hope it gets me picked up in the industry #and it all pays off #(is delusional) #crazy timing tho I was just wondering if I should open comms to eventually toonboom! I’ve been learning it #and also 3D molding tht might show up here soon as well #precious speaks

[skrunksthatwunk]

not rascal's deadbeat owner coming around when im not home and telling my roommate she's taking him for a week (our break is 4 weeks or so, implying he's gonna be back here even though That's Her Cat Not Ours) and then just picking up the new toys i bought for him and taking them with her without even asking. hey. hi. those are mine

#like yes i want rascal to use them so he can be happy and fulfilled but also i dont fucking trust you #she didnt even ask. i wasnt even AROUND and she just yoinked them #she also took the new litter box my roomie got for him bc the old one was so caked in shit that 20 mins in a powerful sink didnt even #change it. like bedrock-hard cat shit. who fucking knows how old that was bc they never clean or empty it. fucks sake #and obv he needs a litter box and my roomie threw the old one away bc again it was Unsalvageably And Hazardously Filthy #like we could get sick he could get sick. get a grip #but like i dont wanna be feeding her replacements for her stuff she doesn't take care of over and over #just burning money trying to make rascal's life a Little better bc again our control over his situation is limited bc hes literally her cat #it's so frustrating. like i waited a full month to get him new toys bc i didn't know how long this situation was gonna last and i dont have #cats and cant have them for a while (not that this is stopping me oops) so it's not like the toys'll be used w me #like if she decided to up and drop him at a shelter like she'd planned less than a couple months ago I'd be sittjng in a pile of cat stuff #but he needs more stuff yknow. theyre not providing for him and i have the means to atm. and just when i bite the bullet and surprise him #with a bunch of new things he was SO excited about she swoops in without warning and takes him #god. my roommate told me he just froze up when his owner came in..and he looked so pissed about it #having to go back and leave us and leave all his fun new stuff to go back to the room where they cant even bother to feed him regularly #much less play with him or take care of him #it's heartbreaking. it's such a delicate situation im trying to move carefully so we don't lose him completely but it's so frustrating going #slow. ughhghhgh AND THEYRE ALWAYS LIKE man he's so much nicer to y'all. MAYBE IT'S BC WE TREAT HIM WELL. CRAZY THOUGHT I KNOW #fucking. i love that little man this sucks for him so bad. trying to get him back for a couple days while im here but no response yet #and my roommate's staying on campus over break so she's gonna show up as soon as that week's over like I'm Here For Rascal. Your Time Is Up. #rauguhhhhh sorry if these rascal vent posts are a downer guys. it's just. god dude. fucking hell #i know this is a stupid situation i have gotten myself into i know it's stupid to try and finagle someone's pet from them BUT SHES ABUSIVE #AND SUPER LIKE. INDIFFERENT?? AND APATHETIC ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THE PPL SHE DUMPS HIM ON CARE FOR HIM WELL OR NOT. AGH #sighhhh. whatever. gotta focus on tmr's exam and then i can complain about rascal some more. #i get she prolly thinks it's a team effort but the only reason we take her stuff is bc we didn't have a cat and werent planning on it #ggggghhzgzzjzjkkzkzkkzkk. grinding my teeth

[astrxealis]

nonexistent social battery 😞 <//3

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #i hope you all are doing well !! please take care of yourself !!!!! #i haven't properly talked to. any friends in a while except for those i see at school T___T sorry. sobbing #i do wna greet my moots and friend sometime soon and get to everything though but i still am. not in the right state of energy/mind ^^; #let's see tho! 6.3 comes out soon and i will... be going crazy..... and i don't want to post a lot or ramble a lot without getting to stuff #bcs i don't want it to seem like i'm ignoring people :')) i am just really tired and busy !!!

[usedtobecooler]

to all the people writing the sweetest replies and reblogging my works with the nicest words - thank you, thank you!! i will get around to finally replying individually once i have my days off work, just know your love for my fics are so appreciated and are making my heart melt 🥺

#i’m honestly so blown away by all the love i’ve received these last few days #also all the new followers hi everybody!! #honestly i woke up to almost 600 notifications this morning and my phone was glitching like crazy #i can’t keep up haha #thank you all so so much #also i have loads of asks too that i’m hoping to get around to replying to soon as well! #candy has thoughts

[un-pearable]

3/4 games down, sonic 3 & my best boy here we come >:3

#excuse my absence as of late i’ve been all in on playing origins with my bro #honestly miracle sonic has a franchise at all sonic 1 is torture /j #they’re all good ass games but the immediate jump in enjoyablity from 1 and cd to 2 is crazy #though partly just being able to do co op only after you reach 2 is part of it in story mode #sonic 2 is so well designed though we did 2player the entire time and it is painfully obvious that 3 was not designed with it in mind while #2 was. anyway what i’m saying is good video games im glad i’m finally playing them :] #NOT looking forward to having to go back and get all the emeralds i misssed lmao. i got like half of 1s #missed all of cd bc i forgot it had them. and worked my ass of getting all seven in 2 only for me to realize i had no idea what we actually #we’re supposed to do with them. but anyway #had fun :] i had a birthday doodle i should post so keep an eye out #hope you all had a fun day for the 23rd! we are pretending nothing bad happened on the 24th <3 happy bday sonic #see y’all soon once we finish 3&K tomorrow :]

[fingertipsmp3]

Things that happened in my sims game today that ✨just make sense✨

-My sim went on a date with his stalker

#so i have this one house in which a romance sim lives who can't get laid #god knows why he can't get laid. he's hot and bisexual and he's a line cook. like what more do you want #anyway i finally resorted to using the matchmaker just to try to get him laid and for whatever reason she sent me this woman #who could not be interacted with aside from talking; flirting and influence #which meant i couldn't end their date and it also couldn't really progress? so i was like 'well this sucks' #so i had him get another date #obviously she was PISSED that he rejected her for this hot policeman so she left him a fiery bag of poop on his doorstep and a stinky lette #(he didn't even get to first base with the policeman btw) #except that wasn't the end of it. she kept COMING BACK #she'd just stand for hours upon hours looking at his house. i mean literally she was there ALL DAY #it seemed like she only left when i directed him to go greet her. literally as soon as i put 'greet elle' in his queue she left #eventually i managed to have him actually greet her and there was still only talk; flirt or influence available #(once he greeted her btw she completely made herself at home in his house. she took like two bubble baths?? and i couldn't ask her to leave #she eventually left because she was hungry and i wasn't going to feed this crazy ass woman who had literally been lurking outside his house #for damn near two weeks straight. i was like you can die here if you want to. that's fine #anyway. i decided to have him invite her over for a date to see if that unstuck her because by this point i was weirded out by the limited #interactions. so she agreed to the date but didn't get unstuck #i had to use boolprop testing cheats to make her selectable and then unselectable. THAT finally worked #for some reason casual romance settings (acr) still don't work on her though? so she can't be woohooed because he's not in love with her #i suspect she's a young adult and something's messed up in her coding. or i have a mod conflict. despite my best efforts #i've never seen a sim behave like her before. she was literally just standing unmoving STARING at his house. no idles or anything #i thought she was stuck but she could blink. fucking eerie #tl;dr ts2 remains the game of all time #personal

[arolesbianism]

Starting a new oni save that's not a rime colony for the first time in forever and I am in agony how do y'all live like this (shaking and crying as it is forced to enter a mildly warm area for drekos)

#rat rambles #oni posting #also makes guiser taming more annoying but its ok I can manage #my main goal for this playthrough is to make more use of automation and spoms #my last one isnt necessarily being completely abandoned I just wanted to try getting off of rime for a bit #I miss the hypothermia pop ups every five seconds but on the bright side I dont have to worry abt my water supply freezing #Im also trying some other new things and just trying to be more ambitious in general #I managed to force myself to upgrade my bathrooms within the first 50 cycles are you proud of me #I also am making better use of hydro whatever farm plots for my obligatory bristleberry farm #thoroughly enjoying the lessened dupe labor even if it puts a bit more pressure on my initial water supply #I do have a steam vent and a salt water guiser nearby tho so Im not particularly worried #mainly Im just figuring out how I wanna go abt cooling it #my salt water guiser is right by a tundra biome with a cooling machine right inside it so I could attempt to use that #but from my multiple attempts to utilize that thing it's a bit hard to use for liquid cooling #I also think I might build my spom in that same biome so idk #I do have a second tundra biome thats also right next to the saltwater biome but Im trying to preserve it best I can to wildfarm sleet weat #I have also made the laziest drowning chamber I could manage and its called building my hatch ranch over my water tank #plus a critter sensory autosweeper and conveyor loader #it does overkill a lil every time it activates but its ok Im lazy enough to live with it #I also have some pacu and a crab in there so its a whole party in there #this is also going to be my first time having sanishells once I get an egg #not going to properly ranch them tho I kind of just took one to use as a trash can for my early polluted dirt #also Im glad I was able to get onto bristle berries as a primary food source quickly this time around #Im not going to go crazy expanding it for now since I have a couple other crops Im planning on getting going soon as well #mainly lettus and sleet wheat once I find some pips #then I can have early frost burgers if I want. I wont since I havent found any natural gas vents yet but y'know #speaking of oh 4 natural gass vents all near eachother on my last save how I miss you you made power so easy #on the bright side Ill have an oil biome that isn't filled with solid oil this time lol #I should rly make some actual use of oil this time around #hey who knows maybe Ill get far enough to make a sour gas boiler (lying)

[mossistyping]

So I have a VISA interview coming up, big deal etc. I need to have my birth certificate and police record translated into English for the interview.

The US Embassy doesn't require the translation to be done by a certified translator, just someone who can confirm they're fluent. EXCEPT. You can't do it yourself.

So tell me why I'm out here CORRECTING the translation service that I paid for because they spelled the same street name wrong TWICE?

#moss.txt #like. cmon #I know that kind of service probably has a crazy output of work #but it's! literally the name of a country! #and you spelled it wrong twice! #anyway thank fuck I can revise the translation before they send it to me #rambling #also considering I haven't really said anything about myself here #I'm (if all goes well) moving to the US to live with my fiancé :> #that means I too will understand the pain of americans having to get up at the crack of dawn for GPs soon