#you get a hundred kisses

[khaoray]

I like you.

#one hundred won butler #may i help you #kdrama #kdramaedit #kdramadaily #kdramasource #asiandramasource #tvedit #cinematv #tvfilmsource #tuseralexa #userpinenut #userhannah #mostlyfate #*gifs #it took us an episode to get here but this kiss makes up for it without question

[silawastaken]

'Good Luck, Babe!' by chappell roan but I'm aromantic and still try to pretend I'm not

#i know it's about comphet but fuck #you can kiss a hundred boys in bars #shot another shot trying to stop feeling #please get out #aromantic #silas yaps

[jellazticious]

Y'know I think I went way overboard with digitalizing an old sketch

#Tony and Coffin under an umbrella is just neat. I could draw a hundred of these and not get tired cjsdkbg #DHMIS #Don't hug me I'm scared #Don't hug me I'm human #tony the talking clock #DHMIS Coffin #DHMIS DoomsDay #DHMIS Time of Death #collecting ship names like god damn pokemon over here #Did you know there was also StopWatch and Final Countdown? amazing *chefs kiss* #I drew this #Jellazticious

[zukkaoru]

the disparity in kudos between a skk fic and a fic for literally any other bsd characters/ship :/

#like okay i get it skk is the most popular bsd ship by a longshot #but it does kinda suck that my skk fics will always end up being more popular than literally anything else i write for bsd #when i have way better fics tbh #okay i'm unleashing this from my drafts lol #like i get it kudos/hits/bookmarks counts aren't telling of how good a fic is #but out of my last five fics. my skk one has ONE HUNDRED kudos more than the next most kudos #and idk it also sucks that i know my skk is better than 90% of the fandom but. even my skk fics get significantly less kudos/etc #than big writers in the fandom who AREN'T EVEN GOOD #or are like. mid at best #i know in theory that the bsd fandom doesn't care about characterization but like. not only do they encourage bad characterization #it feels like sometimes they're actively against good characterization #even in j.jk and a.tla where there are major issues with bad characterization #more people seem to at least appreciate the good characterization. (even if they aren't good at it themselves.) #but i swear to god no one in the bsd fandom cares about anything besides whether dazai and chuuya are kissing. it begins and ends there. #it never ceases to amaze me (derogatory) how a fandom where the source media draws So Much inspiration from classic literature #can somehow have NEGATIVE media literacy skills #why don't you guys take a break from your edgy dazai x softboy chuuya fics and you fems.kk with dazai in skimpy clothes and your #beast chuuya sobbing and killing himself over dazai's death #and go read some of the books by the actual authors. and then write me an essay about the themes that has nothing to do with shipping. #and THEN you can come back to the fandom. #listen i love skk but oh my god sometimes the fandom makes me hate them. #anyway one of these days i'm going to get anon hate for complaining about the bsd fandom so much but that's fine #at least i know there are characters in the show besides dazai and chuuya. and when i do write skk AT LEAST I DO IT RIGHT. #hello grace here

[pinkfestivalpeanuttree]

me when a ship gets super popular all of a sudden but i see them as a very extremely specific flavor of queerplatonic and i have to deal with people gushing about how romantic their plot is everywhere all the time:

#sigh. #no because i can deal with romantic interpretations of some of my other ships but these guys #*gestures wildly* they don't get them like i do!!! #they're platonic life partners! they're found family but not in a nuclear family dynamic! they're equals they rely on each other #they're devoted they've had each other for hundreds of years they're tragic doomed yuri they understand each other in ways noone else can #they don't really understand each other as much as they thought #they don't kiss. they're both ace they're probs arospec TO ME. and then people started bashing people who saw them #in a familial way and although i don't completely agree with the way some people portray their dynamic through a familial lens #it really feels like they're belittling the nonromantic interpretations of their dynamic!!!!! #i can enjoy romantic versions of my other queerplatonic ships but this one just squicks me out okay aughhjhhhhhh #is this. the trials and hardships (bad takes) that others (aromantic people in fandom spaces) have had to go through #clenches fist. now i see. now that i have suffered alongside you all. now i understand what perils you all have faced #no because i'm seriously considering blocking the tag istg #epilogue speaks

[laniidae-passerine]

I know some people are talking about Sally and Barry attempting to emulate their mentors in certain situations, which backfires on them, but I don’t think Barry gave up on trying to be Fuches halfway through. Actually, it was a perfect impression. When he started screaming down the line at Hank, it’s because that’s what Fuches does. Whenever Barry tells him firmly that it’s over and he’s not going to help Fuches anymore, Fuches loses his shit; he yells at Barry that he’s pathetic, he won’t survive without him, when I find you motherfucker! Barry’s mistake was failing to recognise that Hank isn’t him. Hank respects himself, genuinely cares about other people and, most importantly, won’t degrade himself just to feel like somebody loves him. But Barry absolutely would and, with all his other damage, that’s why he’s furious that Hank somehow says no to him.

#barry will always walk on his knees for a hundred miles through the desert #but Hank will ​let the soft animal of his body love what it loves #and he would never ever do himself damage for somebody to use him. Barry always does #I’m not defending Barry btw I’m not that vein of Barry fan I hope he explodes in an explosion and fuches and maybe gene comes with <3 #but Barry has never been loved unselfishly. never been loved by somebody not using him. so he understands love as sacrifice and pain ONLY #love is not gentle. love is a thousand tiny needles. love is their teeth embedded in your heart #so when Hank - who knows love can be both sacrifice and tenderness that you expose the worst of you and have it kissed and not cut open - #when he doesn’t adhere to this system Barry has in his head (when he basically says ‘no. this not how love or the world really works.’) #Barry fucking loses it. The way Fuches loses it. because to them love is pain and if they don’t hurt you they don’t love you #and if they hurt you (no matter how awfully) then you forgive them in the end. you get to be a little upset. but you always go back. always #but Hank won’t and he doesn’t need to! he is loved openly and honestly and any pain comes from having to grow and understand not from abuse #and Barry loathes him for it. he hates it. and he’s never going to get out and he’ll never be free. he is sick sick sick #and there’s not a cure in the world for it anymore #not when he let it fester and get worse and worse and worse. and now it’s over before it’s over. #ANYWAYYYYT #barry #barry hbo #monroe fuches #noho ​hank #barry berkman #edit: yeah turns out Hank will also kill it though. oops!

[thee-morrigan]

I'm *looking* at "a sorta fairytale", but also "golden hour", because fluff! What is it about? I'd love to hear more about both of them really

I rambled about the general framing for a sorta fairytale here, but I can offer a snippet wherein "wainscoting" is used suggestively (for context, she's living in her childhood home, which was built in the late 1800s):

“I could make you dinner,” he offered. She tilted her head, lips curving slightly in a lazy half-grin. “Are you trying to bribe me into letting you look at my wainscoting?” He laughed, the sound warm and tangible as a caress. “I suppose that depends on how receptive you are to bribery.” The late afternoon sun filtering through the gallery’s windows at her back was reflected in his eyes, the rich brown melting into burnished bronze in its golden glow. She picked at her nails, as much an excuse to drag herself out of the labyrinth of his eyes as it was a play at nonchalance. "I might be," she said, grin widening as she glanced back up at him. "But don't blame me when the most interesting thing about my old-ass house is how absurdly tiny the closets are.”

for golden hour, I really just wanted to write something that leaned into the way falling in love can color ordinary moments, and the particular sweetness/giddiness in those pockets of time where the rest of the world is sort of muted/made more peripheral because they're so focused on each other.

dropping a snippet below the cut so this doesn't get too long~

Nate smiled back at her, and the sheer joy on his face shone so brightly that Holland wondered if some levels of happiness ought to require some kind of protective eyewear. The thought made her laugh. “You keep smiling at me like that and I’m going to have to make a pinhole camera just to look at you.” That made him laugh too. And then he was kissing her again, still half laughing, fingers sliding through her hair, cupping the back of her head.  When he finally pulled back—barely, just far enough to rest his forehead against hers—she kept her eyes closed for a long moment before opening one and squinting up at him dubiously.  “What?” He was still smiling at her, but its effect was somewhat dimmed by bemusement. She opened her other eye. “Just checking to see if I need, like, those solar eclipse glasses or something.”

wip title ask game

#thank you for letting me ramble about these!! <333 #golden hour truly is (so far) like 1200 words of them just. kissing and smiling at each other lmao #i went down a historic homes rabbit hole (originally unrelated to this lmao) so now she gets a hundred-year-old house #answered #serenpedac #kt wips

[afieldinengland]

.

#i’m starting to wonder if i hate myself for having been born a transsexual #it’s not shame— but there’s something in the way i think about myself that’s deep and bitter. i don’t know. well i’ve never enjoyed myself #in general. i’ve never been ashamed of it and i’ve never been proud of it in fact i hate talking about it entirely #and i’ve realised i don’t even like thinking about it too deeply. too knee-deep in history’s men-image #(by which he means richard ii and oscar wilde and injured knights with long hair and poets on laudanum and artists on cocaine) #i feel sick. it isn’t a sickness because i can’t be ‘cured’ and i don’t want to be and it’s intrinsic but modern vocabulary feels heavy in #my mouth and puts me in a petri dish. even ‘transsexual’ feels like uber modern parlance sometimes. i can’t do it #but that’s the word. just sometimes i think it would have all been easier if things had gone otherwise. and i know that makes me bad at thi #i have to speak to you in your language. and i don’t know what i mean by that or even where that thought comes from. it’s your language #i should be in the bronze age right now i’m sorry i got waylaid. i got lost #i can’t stop being it but if i think too much about it i start wanting to eat my own fingers and i think— and this is my hypothesis— #it’s because i’ve never enjoyed myself i’ve never been in a healthy relationship and i can’t remember the last time i had fun #but then that’s another thing i’m not made for. that’s a lie there is a desperate aesthete in here who has been so starved of hedonism for #as long as i’ve had him that he’s hoarse. i’m tired i’ve been walking for nine hundred years my feet hurt #i don’t know. why me why now et cetera. i’m just wondering if i don’t despise myself a bit for it— like it’s a trick i did in a past life #again. it’s a privilege. it’s more intrinsic to my personhood than blood type or astigmatism or that weird thing i have with my hip #and i could be proud of it if only i could work out how. i’m content— in the same way i’m content with everything— but i don’t know. #i don’t like talking about it i don’t like thinking about it because it feels like i’m losing the game i’m constantly playing against mysel #in my head. i’m my own personal spin doctor you see #whatever. sorry. in light of doing better i can get this out too. can you believe i haven’t been kissed in years

[dirt-str1der]

Work has ruined me i literally cannot enjoy playing yakuza because of my stomachache like fuck you ....

#Yakuza liveplay #real sorry sbout venting about my poor tortured belly but it hurts so bad #‘whats this have to do with work’ it doesnt i just hate work #i want a ps4 controller or im going to start shaking and sobbing and hugging myself #i hate this xbox controller its the worst thing that has ever happened to me #what do you mean hitting ^ will cause me to hit > and < as well cant i just hit one button at a time #stop inputing random things i hate you you little freak #spits on my controller #and on top of that the ones i planned on biying sold like hotcakes and i will never get to lay my hands on a ps4 controller ever again #actually im not mad anymore #im going to play yk2 karaoke #im going to plqy pride from despair one hundred times because i like it so muchchhh #gonna play heartbreak mermaid as well it is one of my favourite songs ... #yk2 karaoke is so fun ... maybe ill play yk1 too ... fuck maybe ill download ps2 yakuza #oh my god yeah then i can finally see the kiryu lying on haruka scene. sleeping on his little baby #that is such a good idea im so happy ..... baby pillow ... sleeping on baby .... kiss her forehead #i hope to get the dub so i can listen to yuya #GOD I SHOULD GET THE DUB IM SO SMARRTTTTTT ILL GET RIGHT ON THAT

[mattodore]

time to finish reading theo’s questionnaire

#river dipping #questionnaire lb #literally had to take a break from it yesterday because it broke my brain a little bit . like i was Unwell all day bc of him #like that last moodboard post i shared before Logging Out did a number on my head too and then everything reminded me of him all day lmao #i also deleted like a hundred old pins from his board so now his pinterest board is back down in the 400s from where it crept into the 500s #his board is so text heavy it's not very aesthetically pleasing... like in comparison to matthias's board which is just...... chef's kiss #but i cannotttttt get myself to whittle his board down any more than i already did. like........... WHY should i try to make his board #pretty anyway? like this is theo we're talking abt. his thoughts overwhelm him his surroundings are cluttered there's holes everywhere #in his brain and he's lost all his softness so like ACTUALLY ! his board being messy is uhhhhhh #a character choice i've just decided 😁 #...no but it does actually annoy me that matthias's board is so much more cohesive 😒 should i kill him for this . . . #.............OC brain rot aside ! #when i'm done reading i'm going to finish making this pose i started last night based on this gifset i saw #and then i'm gonna actually !!!! open !!! the sims !!! to test poses out and take these shots for that tag game kay sent my way 😋 #i've gotta see what clutter cc i already have first tho... i have 50gb of build cc there's gotta be some stuff i can use for theo #matthias is easy. he literally just carries his phone and his card like that's it... #...also sorry i'm being so bad at replying/looking at my activity i'm just an avoidant personality disorder haver . you understand

[artekai]

Primadonna Girl X How to be a Heartbreaker ♥︎

#deni's stuff #deni's art #oc tag #oc: fross #oc art #oc x canon #fross x verbena #horizon oc #horizon au #again. it's a CRACK SHIP mind you. i'm not taking it seriously lmao #it's just amusing to me to headcanon them as exes who hate each other now as much as they did when they were together lol #and that's JUST because they're the only zeniths close enough to each other in age. they didn't have any other options :/ #but what? am i supposed to believe that these two spent hundreds of years stuck on sirius and DIDN'T even kiss once??? i call bs #no strings attached of course! they are both acutely aware of the nature of their relationship lol #fross knows that verbena can't commit. verbena knows that fross is the anon sending her holo death threats to pass the time #if looks could kill. tilda would've pulverized verbena centuries ago #it's truly a lose-lose-lose. they deserve each other and that's not a compliment. were i a judge i wouldn't let them get a divorce. #the only reason fross didn't laugh when verbena died is because it was a sharp reminder of his own mortality as a zenith. yeah lol #but jokes about zeniths being the worst aside! actually really content with the posing and faces here. i feel like i've improved a lot :') #i actually put effort into this lol but i don't regret it

[steelycunt]

so funny when ppl r like modern r/s would listen to taylor swift like are you serious my brother. they'd be the absolute worst most annoying music snobs ESPECIALLY remus and that's a Fact

conscious of my dearly beloved taylor swift enjoying mutuals whom i cherish and adore when i answer this ask but essentially. essentially i do agree. i do agree with this statement. one might say.

#asks that lead to me kneeling on the floor outside the mutuals divorce court begging my mutuals for another chance begging them not to go #through with it. weeping doing that sort of cry that makes u sputter and cough gripping their trouser leg white knuckled saying dont do #this dont do this look at me. we can get through this you can forgive me dont throw us away. please. #in other words. ask that make me look like that photo of the guy. u know the guy. https://i.redd.it/nfp94664x8v41.jpg #joking. this could never tear me and my mutuals apart. the only thing that could do that maybe is my beatlesposting on main perhaps #i have already gone on my modern au annoying remus no phone headphone listening cd burning rant before but. it comes to mind now #he will take u back to his place and spend 20 minutes picking out a record to play u on his turntable out of his hundreds large collection #+ it will proceed to be the Worst Song Uve Ever Heard In Ur life. + then if you are sirius black you will kiss him with tongue or smthn idk #telegram #anon

[femvaylin]

I've had so little time to play lately it's taken me so long to get to this point but I'm HERE and I'm LOOOOOOOOSING it I'm just so happy rn I'm

#sis really went 'idk u could try kissing me ig' #chewing biting chewing biting #like the best and worst thing about swtor is it's SO LONG #on one hand it's infuriating to play through the dull parts to get to the meat #on the other hand you end up REALLY bonding with your toon over the hundreds of dull awful hours you're forced to spend w them #i'm BEGGING all my dragon age moots even if the mmo aspect puts you off #you can literally ignore it and play solo for free and experience some of the greatest characters bioware has EVER put out #i've never played ANY multiplayer content but i could probably be convinced

[vivalamusicaltheater]

Not to be cringe on main but ur super cool and i meant to message u like two days ago that ur reasons for kai to win the cringefail vote was very good and based

I WOULD DIE FOR YOU TYSM!!!!!!! (This is a normal reaction haha definitely). He may not have won the poll but he is #1 cringefail king of my heart <3 literally always resisting the urge to talk about him (and cfv as a whole but like) it’s kind of a problem (if you follow my side blog that’s me showing Restraint LMAOOOOOO). ANYWAYS thank you for sending this message I rlly appreciate it!!!

#asks #me talking abt cfv on the side blog like that audio that’s like #let Sam name 5 famous people I’ll name 5 birds…I’ll name a HUNDRED BIRDS #NOBODY WANTS YOUR BIRDS BRENNAN #PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASEEEEEEEEE #LMAO #so getting validation?????? for my rambling abt why Kai is a loser? #I am kissing you softly on the forehead /p

[battleshot]

                                                                    Excitement,  nerves,  pride  --  being  one  of  the  three  to  escort  the  royal  to  his  lady,  the  sharpshooter  was  practically  bursting  at  the  seams.  It  would  be  a  road  trip  filled  with  thrills,  photos,  and  memories,  but  for  now,  he  would  stifle  his  anxiety  about  being  alongside  the  advisor  and  shield  --  both  of  whom    possessed  titles  and  royal  reputations,  but  he  did  not  --  aside  from  being  a  member  of  the  Crownsguard.      (    for  which  he  should  give  himself  more  credit    )

𝑁𝑦𝑥 𝑖𝑠 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑙 𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒, 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑡. "𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎 𝑠𝑒𝑐, ℎ𝑜𝑡𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑡." 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑜 𝑐ℎ𝑢𝑐𝑘𝑙𝑒𝑠, 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑜 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑎 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑘𝑖𝑠𝑠. "𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑖𝑛 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑝𝑖𝑒𝑐𝑒, 𝑦'ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟?"      @sunlilted​ + Nyx

A  familiar  voice  called  to  him  as  he  threw  his  bag  into  the  trunk  of  the  regalia.    "    Huh-?    "    Tugged  by  trusted  hands,  his  body  naturally  fell  into  place.  As  sunlight  broke  through  the  citadel,  a  beaming  smile  shone  from  fair-freckled  features,  hands  rest  peacefully  on  uniformed  shoulders,  and  his  torso  willing  to  embrace  Nyx  without  protest.  Prompto's  happiness  seeps  through  the  kisses  he  gave  him,  stealing  a  second  and  a  third  just  to  be  sure.

Eventually  parting  and  throwing  him  a  wink  and  a  haphazard  wave,  he  promised      "    I'll  be  back  before  y'  know  it!  "    Oh  yeah,  he  had  it,  baaaaad.

                    Fluorescent  lights  extend  beyond  Lestallum  but  evade  the  reach  of  azureous  optics.  A  new  day  of  darkness  has  passed,  but  how  many  more  would  they  endure?  Despite  everyone's  efforts,  nobody  had  an  answer.  There  was  only  one  thing  they  knew:  the  True  King  would  return  to  restore  the  light  ...    one  day.

The  return  of  Nyx  allowed  Prompto  to  remain  alight.  However,  he  would  still  have  moments  that  haunted  his  past  --  who  he  really  was  --  but  the  soft  reassurance  of  the  glaive,  the  hand  holding,  the  soft  whispers  at  night,  entwining  limbs  would  keep  him  from  thinking  about  anything  else    except  them.  This  was  what  kept  that  sunshine  personality  alive.

𝑁𝑦𝑥 𝑖𝑠 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑙 𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒, 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑡. "𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎 𝑠𝑒𝑐, ℎ𝑜𝑡𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑡." 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑜 𝑐ℎ𝑢𝑐𝑘𝑙𝑒𝑠, 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑜 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑎 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑘𝑖𝑠𝑠. "𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑖𝑛 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑝𝑖𝑒𝑐𝑒, 𝑦'ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟?"      @sunlilted​ + Nyx

Although  the  action  made  him  laugh  and  caught  him  off  guard,  he  turned  his  head  just  in  time  to  capture  Nyx's  lips  while  standing  with  his  back  against  Nyx's  chest.  A  part  of  him  felt  a  strange  deja  vu,  maybe  a  part  of  him  felt  a      sadness  he  could  not  explain,  but  he  looked  up  at  the  taller  male  as  he  answered.    "    Yeah...  (  Curling  his  lips  with  mild  concern    )    yeah,  don't  worry,  I'll  be  fiiine    "    A  shrug,  brushing  it  aside;  something  that  didn't  wane  with  age  was  his  anxiety.  A  barely-there  whisper  passed  between  them  as  they  shared  another  slow  kiss.    "    I  love  you.  "   

#「 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧* Nyx :: so you laugh like a child and i’ll sing like no one cares. I could see this view a hundred times. SUNLILTED 」 #「 𝑉𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒* :: ‘ i’ll miss it once this road trip’s over with ‘ MAIN 」 #「 𝑉𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒* :: the long night 」 #[ i realise i don't have a main tag for the boys but we move ] #[ emery said here let me give you one random unprompted ask -- #[ me like okay but what if we made it two (((((: ] #[ they get kisses so its fine -- everyone's happy #[ i'm just going off about promnyx in the early morn i love them a Sane amount God Bless emery is feeding me. Honestly I am Soft #[ have i told you that i love them ??? <3 ]

[softnoirr]

bestie you once mentioned offhand an au of pdd where christen sleeps with alex and it has stayed in my head ever since - what would be the context! when! does tobin find out! hit me with your thoughts if you’re into it, I love a rare pair!!

I do vaguely remember saying that but I also cannot find it so everything I'm saying now could totally contradict what I said then but. I think like. if C's relationship to T (not with her but towards her) is based in feelings of grief and anger then her relationship to Alex is much more acidic. They do have a lot of history but most of it is just time spent in the same vicinity of each other, coldly ignoring one another, sharing friends and being jealous. So I feel like them hooking up would be a much more viscous overflow but also much less weighted for them.

Probably it would be one of them getting the role the other wanted in studio company and having sex about it. If it was an ongoing thing I could see it being a moment after a Grand Prix where one of them won and the other messed up—probably with a lot of goading and also I do believe in this AU Alex is the kind of character who would wear her Grand Prix medal while having sex with C in the hotel afterwards. I don’t think it works as well as a dynamic between the two adult versions of the characters but I can still see some level of that bizarre psychosexual staunch avoidance thing they have going on.

Body and your relationship to your body and your connection to other peoples bodies and peoples perceived ownership or entitlement to your body is at the heart of a lot of pdd and because C and Alex have both been basically raised in that environment I think them hooking up would be very much about acting out frustration in a way they both understand. Like; Move like this because you feel this.

Like I sincerely don't mean for sex in this story to be about power. It isn't—even when power is a dynamic within it—but it is kind of about a feeling of being present in your own body for the first time, manipulating your body for someone else’s pleasure while getting to be the object rather than the subject of that pleasure.

I think how Tobin would react to it depends on any number of factors which would change with the context. Like if C and T were sleeping together the way they are in the actual story I think it would probably mean the end of the sexual part of their relationship, at least for a while, because T feels very invested in what she does with C and it would feel cheapened by finding out about Alex. If it was something that happened as teenagers I think she’d be kind of weirded out by it but hey we’ve all had weird overly invested hate sex with christen press so. actually this makes tobin very feel normal and usual and regular and it’s fine.

#I do think it’d be fun with some weird sex after one has gotten one over the other dynamic #because I think for the person who’s just lost it’s a sense of control back in the situation #and for the one who’s lost it’s a validation of that feeling and a level of like. somewhere to put the looming ‘this isn’t worth it’ #if someone else wants what you have so badly they’re willing to do *this* then surely it’s worth it. surely. surely. #also now that I’ve come up with it the image of Alex wearing her medal while they fuck isn’t getting out of my head #and of course they’re kind of narrative foils and the path is so inevitable and we’ve been here a million times before. #the story is finished before you’ve even opened the book the ending has already happened #so Christen comes back to New York and Alex has a baby and a room full of trophies and an undignified desire for more. more of anything. #and you were both always going to end up here. a hundred million miles apart even though you can sit across the table at a dinner party #or kiss her cheek in greeting or even mean it a little when you say congratulations #but you still remember being nineteen and lying next to her when your rent was too much to keep on top of #and you weren’t sure you’d ever be anything and you’re not sure that you loved her #but you’re not sure what else to call the gaping black hole of the year and even if #you didn’t love her it still seems so horribly unfair that you never got the chance to #because the story was already over before it begun and she was gone the first time you ever kissed her #asks #pas de deux