thegreatandpowerful-tim

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

apparently almost no one’s seen the video it’s free real estate comes from so here it is

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

Guess what song I’m gonna be playing all day

#nsync #classic #it‘s gonna be may #the time has come

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

This is so accurate it scares me.

How Northerners Talk Temperature with Southerners 🌡

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

whoa… it’s fucked up how like….. i have ancestors who lived in the dark ages….. they shat in the street and performed hard labor and they had children who i descended from…. what the fuck… ever think about that guys. don’t think about it it’s weird. i don’t like that. which caveman was i descended from.

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

This is something I would do

(via lowghen)

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

The bowl is too small you say? You have no larger bowls in your tiny ass studio apartment you say? No problem ! Just break out your crockpot and use it as a mixing bowl. Life hack number 5872.

#lifehacks #zuchinni #Apple #bread #crockpot #wtf #wtf is wrong with me

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

Dan and I bought a thing called “long ziti” from the local Weird Bargain Store, largely as a joke, but…. I have never had a more unsettling pasta experience in my life. They wouldn’t bend enough to cook from top to bottom simultaneously, and while they were cooking boiling water kept spouting out from the tops of them out of the pot, like a boiling pipe organ. Then they were so long and floppy and hoselike that we couldn’t pick them up with anything other than tongs, and then they were so long and unwieldy that it was basically impossible to sauce them without them all slithering out of the bowl like wet snakes. They then proceeded to cool down almost completely within the the seconds it took to walk to the living room. Eating them was like eating a bowl full half melted drinking straws.

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

On a level of pretzel to ocean how salty are you after The Walking Dead season 7 premiere?

Me…

#twd season 7 #twd #glenn rhee #why #mrw #the walking dead

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

PLEASE GOD THERE IS NOTHING I NEED MORE IN MY LIFE THAN A T-REX COOING LIKE A PIGEON

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

Every damn time

Me: I think I’m gonna go to bed early tonight 

Me at 3 am:

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

Good times

#hey arnold #blastfromthepast #nostalgia

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

Omg

Theory of the Pixar Universe by John Negroni [detailed version] Previously: Disney Movies in Disney Movies

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

(via j_piper)

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

when you kill the enemy and they say “lag”

[thegreatandpowerful-tim]

How to make your job seem more impressive tip #1

Step 1: Instead of “I work at Dairy Queen”, try “I work with blizzards.” Step 2: Make sure to change the subject quickly and keep talking so no one can inquire further.

#resume tips #don't ask questions #inflate your self worth #dairy queen #funny #relatable #haha