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thoughtsofablob · 5 months
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thoughtsofablob · 8 months
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Working with infants: told my supervisor that I think it's unfair that only babys get praise for farting. I want to be celebrated for farting too.
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thoughtsofablob · 8 months
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I want to tell you all that women are frightening and beautiful creatures
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thoughtsofablob · 9 months
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Since I was a kid and watched an unhealthy amount of spongebob I’ve always imagines my brain as a mix between an office and a library. My brain is this scene:
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thoughtsofablob · 2 years
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Vander x Bartender/Waitress!Reader (Part3)
@freementallyillkid I did iiiiiiit! I'm sorry if this is not what you wanted but it didn't fit the bartender reader to literally beat someone up. If you want something different feel free to tell me and I will write something else with a different reader. I'm sorry if Vander is ooc I tried my best. As always enjoy and feel free if you think something doesn't fit the charakters. Also I am nearly currently crying because this is the second time I'm doing this because when I posted it tumblr ate it and I had to start editing anew. Warnings: cursing, heavy kissing, Vander getting cockblocked
You loved going out to select new liquor for The Last Drop. And you hated it just as much. The people were awesome or awful, there was no in-between and you always had to be cautious when you stepped foot into a shop for the first time.
But today, today Vander had decided to accompany you and your smile upon hearing the news was so broad it nearly blinded the big man. He had told you, he was accompanying you to settle some business, talk to some people and keep the lanes in check.
It was definitely not a shopping date, strictly business. It was safer not being alone in the lanes and he needed to be in the same area as you anyways.
He definitely didn’t accompany you because he wanted to spend time with you. It was not a date. But no matter how much you reminded yourself you couldn’t help but feel giddy and excited. Your eyes and smile beaming up at him and making him scratch at the back of his neck in bashfulness.
He was a grown man goddammit, why did it embarrass him how excited you were to spend the day with him? He wasn’t a teenage boy anymore but god, did he feel like one walking along side you on one of the main streets, trying to brush his hand against the back of yours as accidentally as possible.
When you reached a small liquor store, tucked between looming buildings, you decided to enter and parted ways with him. You had never noticed the unassuming entry before and were excited to check the shop out.
The bell above the door jingled pleasently and the young woman behind the counter looked up. Her eyes were big, innocent almost, and you smiled brightly at her while introducing yourself.
It was refreshing to talk about liquor with her and you were relieved that today was one of the good days, where you had entered the right shop. Today promised to be good. You even managed to get a small bottle of syrup for your kids on top of your intended purchase.
Humming an upbeat tune you left the store and filed it away in the back of your mind as a place where you would have to shop again. They had surprisingly high quality stuff for such a small shop in the lanes. You ventured down the dirty street towards your meeting point with Vander when you caught sight of a familiar group of teens.
You pushed down your initial desire to go over to them, deciding to let them roam without a parent bothering them until you saw Vi bump into someone who had come barreling out of a side alley unexpectedly.
Thank god nothing had happened and you were just about to go your way when you saw the way the man poked Vi on the chest and started arguing with her.
Oh no. You hurried to cross to the other side and watched five more men come out of the alley and loom threateningly behind the guy.
“… more of an apology.”, you heard one of them sneer and shove Vi.
“Listen I said sorry, besides you are just as much at fault!”, Vi answered anger creeping into her voice. That was definitely not helping the slowly escalating situation.
The man narrowed his eyes. “Would you mind to repeat that?”
You caught one of his men reaching into his jacket. Oh nonononono. The one beside him grabbed Pow and shook her violently. His hold so tight the little girl cried out.
“Maybe this little princess will be the apology.”
You felt your stomach turn. Oh hell no.
You were beside him in a flash yanking Pow away from him and planted yourself between the men and your kids. The front guy just raised his eyebrows at your form and you gently pushed Pow behind you.
Unbeknown to you Vander had been waiting for you for a while, since you had taken much longer than anticipated, and decided to meet you halfway. Once he saw your form before the group of men he balled his fists. Welp, there goes nothing, he thought and readied himself to step in when your voice made him stop in his tracks.
“Listen.”, your voice sounded honey sweet. “Why aren’t you a dear and just forget the whole thing and I will forget it too.”
You had spotted Vander behind them and signaled with the smallest twitch of your fingers that he should stay back. You knew that it would end ugly if he decided to join. He may have been a peace keeper but once things concerned his family he didn't hesitate to forgo peace.
Reluctantly he leant against a nearby wall, lit his pipe and listened intently, ready to rain his fists down on anyone who would dare to lay a hand on you or his kids.
The man before you loudly snorted in a show of condescension. “Aww, yeah? Will you?”, he asked in a high pitched, belittling voice.
You smiled saccharinely at him and the glint in your eyes made him halt his next words.
“Listen, little man.”, you matched his earlier tone. “Listen. I know, I know you want to play with the grown-ups so badly that you need to prove your manliness by picking a fight with literal kids. But maybe, if your behaved like a grownup people could actually take you serious. So how about you behave like one?”
You tone changed abruptly, an edge creeping into your voice giving it an ice-like tone and he involuntarily flinched back. “If you won’t, I will make you crawl back to your mom like a little baby, crying like the little small man that you are.” You looked at his crotch and met his eyes afterwards with an amused twitch of your lip.
That made him pause. Something in your tone commanded him to listen. Fuck, how could this... this woman be so fucking intimidating? What would you do to him? Crap, he truly was weak if he started a brawl with kids. But you needed to be taught a lesson for your way of talking to him. What would his men think, if he let himself be provoked by little brats? That aside you scared him. And made him angry. But scared him. He desperately wanted to teach you a lesson though for the insults you had thrown at him.
You saw the glint in his eye as he drew back his fist and shot it out towards your face. You hand caught it and abruptly halted his punch; you had to adjust your footing due to the force of the blow.
Your hand clamped around his like a vice.
Vander had pushed away from the wall, but halted again upon seeing that you had unexpectedly caught the punch. His jaw nearly dropped in amazement.
Your eyes flashed dangerously from beneath your lashes at the guy.
“Are you sure, you want to do this?”, you asked and the man before you gulped audibly.
Your grip on his hand starting to hurt, he felt the way his joints protested, his bones cracking. He quickly took his hand back.
He snorted in a show of indifference. “This isn’t worth it.”
He looked over his shoulder at his men. “Let’s go.”
They made to walk away but your singsong voice made him stop dead in his tracks.
“That’s too sweet of you. Give your mom a kiss from me for raising such a sweet little boy.”
The whole group hurried away and you noticed how silent everyone around you had become. As you looked around with sharp eyes the people around you quickly resumed their activities and their conversations.
You turned around on your heels, your brows furrowed in concern. “Are you okay? Did they hurt you?”
The teens gaped up at you, getting whiplash from the sudden change in your demeanor. Pow’s mouth hung open and you gently smiled at her, crouching down to be on her eye level.
“Are you okay Pow?”
Her lip wobbled slightly and she stuck out her arm towards you showing the crescent marks of the nails from the hand that had gripped her.
Softly you took her arm, gently kissing each mark. “I’ll put some balm on it once were back at home. Yeah?” She nodded and stumbled forward into your arms.
You stood up with the girl propped on your hip, when you felt a presence behind you. You turned around to find Vander standing there.
His eyes laying upon your form with silent amazement and when he looked into your eyes, you could see something hot and heavy in his.
Your cheeks caught fire as you saw his expression and you quickly turned back to the teens to hide your embarassment.
“I’m going to take her to The Last Drop. You wanna join us or stay out longer?”
The three older kids looked at each other before deciding they wanted to stay out and you smiled, knowing they would enjoy spending time without having to look after Powder.
Vander, you and Pow parted ways from them and Vander delicately took the blue haired girl from you. She leaned her head against his shoulder and promptly fell asleep.
“Dear!”, a voice called after you once you started walking and an old woman approached you holding your bag. “You forgot this when you saw that bastard. You can check, I didn’t take anything.”
Her back was hunched and with one hand she was heavily leaning on a stick. You grinned at her. “Thank you so much! That’s so kind of you.”
Her smile was missing teeth and she nodded. “Your welcome. We need more of you down here, this was the least I could do.”
You nodded at her in respect and joined Vander who had waited for you. The walk back was silent and your nerves caught up with you.
Was he angry, that you decided to settle things on your own? Maybe he felt like you undermined his authority by making him stay back? Maybe he felt you had drawn too much attention? You nervously wrung your hands not knowing how to start a conversation.
Once you reached the last drop you busied yourself with shelving the new bottled while Vander put Powder to bed after apllying some balm to her wounds.
What if he didn’t want you to handle such things? Maybe you had been insolent in handling it? Maybe he-
You abruptly halted when you felt his hand at the small of your back. Fuck, it was so big and warm. The warmth spreading from your back to your neck all the way to the tips of your ears. You hadn’t even realized he had stepped behind you, being so caught up in your worries.
“What is it sweet’art. You’ve been awfully fidgety.” You felt his hands travel to your shoulders, gently massaging the cramped muscles there and you sighed upon the heavenly contact.
Nervously you looked down. “Are you angry with me?” You voice sounded small even to your ears.
His warm laugh immediately relieved some of the tension in your neck. “No darlin’. Now what would make you say such a thing?”, he questioned.
“You were so silent-”
“I didn’t wanna wake Powder.”
“-and that made me think that maybe you were angry at me for the way I told you to stay back. It really wasn’t my place and I’m sorry, I just tried to prevent a fight from happening and it was really audacious of me and I don’t want you to feel like I am being too-“
The way his hands settled on your hips and abruptly turned you around smothered your voice in your throat making you stop in the middle of your sentence.
His expression made you gulp. There was a heat in his eyes you had never seen before. You were acutely aware of his thumbs stroking your hip bones through your clothing.
“Fuck no darlin’.” When had his voice ever been so breathy? “I couldn’t help but replay that scene over and over in my head. Do you have any idea-“
He didn’t continue when you looked down again, instead placing his forefinger under your chin and lifting your face. Your hands were clasped together and your eyes shone with uncertainty.
"Do you have any idea how amazing you are. Do you have any idea...“, he stopped not knowing how to formulate his thoughts.
"To hell with it.”, he breathed and then his lips were on yours, one hand wandering to your back and one holding your head delicately.
You gasped for air. He didn’t kiss you gently; no this was all desperation and desire, his lips nearly bruising on yours.
And when you brazenly teased with your tongue at his lips a gasp escaped him. He didn’t know where to place his hands, roaming them across your body, then settling them on your hips and lifting you onto the bar behind you.
Your hands had found his hair and you desperately tugged on it needing room to breath but needing him closer. Needing more. Your blood singing for him.
Your legs locked around his hips and with his hand at the small of your back again he pressed your entire body against his, not being able to handle any distance between you two.
Finally you needed to part, lest you really suffocate and you rested your forehead against his, eyes still closed. Your breath escaped you in huffs and you could feel his chest rising and falling just as quickly.
When you opened your eyes again, meeting his dazed expression, his lips quirked into a smile, a hand coming up to tenderly brush your hair back.
“Do ya get it now? Darlin’ that was the single most hot thing I’ve ever witnessed in ma entire life. Seeing the respect ya command, without using anything but yer pretty voice. I… fuck, Darling.” He chuckled desperately at a loss for words and you smiled shyly at him. A groan escaped him at your expression.
“Ya will be the death of me, ye hear me?”
Your eyes burned on his skin as you took in his broad form, the way he nearly trembled in your arms, chest still heaving with emotion.
This was Vander, the hound of the underground, and you had reduced him to this desperate mess. You placed your hands on his cheeks ready to pull him against you when-
“Are you open again?” Someone had stuck their head into The Last Drop. Vander groaned and his head fell against your shoulder, defeated.
“Yeah, we are.”, you called out silently laughing at Vanders exasperation.
The man stepping inside looked at Vander and you and then awkwardly chose a table to sit.
He’d never know how much Vander despised him in that moment, as you pushed him away softly, fixing the first drink of the night.
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thoughtsofablob · 2 years
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Vander x Bartender/Waitress!Reader (Part 3)
@freementallyillkid I did it! I'm sorry if this is not what you wanted but I didn't feel like literally beating someone up would fit the reader from that au. If you want a story where the reader literally kicks someones ass just tell me and I will write another one with a different reader. This kinda got out of hand again... Whoops. I'm sorry if Vander is ooc. I tried my best at doing him justice. Enjoy! You are always welcome to tell me when you think a certain scene doesn't fit the charakters. Warnings: cursing, heavy kissing, Vander getting cockblocked
You loved going out to select new liquor for The Last Drop. And you hated it just as much. The people were awesome or awful, there was no in-between and you always had to be cautious when you stepped foot into a shop for the first time.
But today, today Vander had decided to accompany you and your smile upon hearing the news was so broad it nearly blinded the big man. He had told you he was accompanying you to settle some business, talk to some people and keep the lanes in check.
It was definitely not a shopping date, strictly business. It was safer being not alone in the lanes and he needed to be in the same area as you.
He definitely didn’t accompany you because he wanted to spend time with you. It was not a date. But no matter how much you reminded yourself you couldn’t help but feel giddy and excited. Your eyes and smile beaming up at him and making him scratch at the back of his neck in bashfulness.
He was a grown man goddammit, why did it embarrass him how excited you were to spend the day with him? He wasn’t a teenage boy anymore but god, did he feel like one walking along side you on one of the main streets, trying to brush his hand against the back of yours as accidentally as possible.
When you reached a small liquor store, tucked between looming buildings, you decided to enter and parted ways with him. The store seemed to be a new one and you were excited to check it out.
The bell above the door jingled pleasantly and the surprisingly young woman behind the counter looked up. Her eyes were big, innocent almost, and you smiled brightly at her while introducing yourself.
It was refreshing to talk about liquor with her and you were relieved that today was one of the good days, where you had entered the right shop. Today promised to be good. You even managed to get a small bottle of syrup for your kids on top of your intended purchase.
Humming an upbeat tune you left the store and filed it away in the back of your mind as a place where you would have to shop again. They had surprisingly high quality stuff for such a small shop in the lanes. You ventured down the dirty street towards your meeting point with Vander when you caught sight of a familiar group of teens.
You pushed down your initial desire to go over to them, deciding to let them roam without a parent bothering them. That changed when you saw Vi bump into someone, who had come barreling out of a side alley unexpectedly.
Thank god nothing had happened and you were just about to go your way when you saw the way the man poked Vi on the chest and began arguing with her.
Oh no. You hurried to cross to the other side and watched five more men come out of the alley and loom threateningly behind the guy. If they decided to start something not even Vi would stand a chance.
“… more of an apology.”, you heard one of them sneer and shove Vi.
“Listen I said sorry, besides you are just as much at fault!”, Vi answered anger creeping into her voice. That was definitely not helping the slowly escalating situation.
The man narrowed his eyes. “Would you mind to repeat that?”
You caught one of his men reaching into his jacket. Oh nonononono. The one beside him grabbed Pow and shook her violently with an iron-like grip on her arm. “Maybe this little princess will be the apology.”
You felt your stomach turn. Oh hell no. You were beside him in a flash yanking Pow away from him and planting yourself between the men and your kids. The front guy just raised his eyebrows at your form and you gently pushed Pow behind you.
Unbeknown to you Vander had been waiting for you for a while, since you had taken much longer than anticipated, and decided to meet you halfway. Once he saw your form before the group of men he balled his fists. Welp, there goes nothing, he thought and readied himself to step in when your voice made him stop in his tracks.
“Listen.”, your voice sounded honey sweet. “Why aren’t you a dear and just forget the whole thing and I will forget it too.”
You had spotted Vander behind them and signaled with the smallest twitch of your fingers that he should stay back. You knew that it would end ugly if he decided to join. Sure he was a peace keeper, but when things concerned his family he didn't hesitate to forgo peaceful.
Reluctantly he leant against a nearby wall, lit his pipe and listened intently, ready to rain his fists down on anyone who would dare to lay a hand on you or his kids.
The man before you loudly snorted in a show of condescension. “Aww, yeah? Will you?”, he asked in a high pitched, belittling voice.
You smiled saccharinely at him and the glint in your eyes made him halt his next words.
“Listen, little man.”, you matched his earlier tone. “Listen. I know, I know you want to play with the grown-ups so badly that you need to prove your manliness by picking a fight with literal kids. But maybe, if your behaved like a grownup people could actually take you serious. So how about you behave like one?”
You tone changed abruptly, an edge creeping into your voice making it icy and he flinched back upon hearing it. “If you won’t, I will make you crawl back to your mom like a little baby, crying like the little small man that you are.” You looked at his crotch and met his eyes afterwards with an amused twitch of your lip.
That made him pause. Something in your tone commanded him to listen. Fuck, how could this... this woman be so fucking intimidating? What would you do to him? Crap, he truly was weak if he started a brawl with kids. But the way you talked to him made him just as angry as it scared him. What would his men think, if he let himself be provoked by little brats? That aside, he desperately wanted to teach you a lesson for the insults you had thrown at him.
You saw the glint in his eye as he drew back his fist and shot it out towards your face. You hand caught it and abruptly halted his punch; you had to adjust your footing due to the force of the blow.
Your hand clamped around his like a vice.
Vander had pushed away from the wall, but halted again upon seeing that you had unexpectedly caught the punch. His jaw nearly dropped.
Your eyes flashed dangerously at the guy. “Are you sure, you want to do this?”, you asked and the man before you gulped audibly. Your grip on his hand started to hurt, he felt the way his joints protested, his bones cracking. He quickly took his hand back.
He snorted in a show of indifference. “This isn’t worth it.” He looked over his shoulder at his men. “Let’s go.”
They made to walk away but your singsong voice made him stop dead in his tracks.
“That’s too sweet of you. Give your mom a kiss from me for raising such a sweet little boy.”
The whole group hurried away and you noticed how silent everyone around you had become. As you looked around with sharp eyes the people around you quickly resumed their activities and their conversations.
You turned around on your heels, your brows furrowed in concern. “Are you okay? Did they hurt you?”
The teens gaped up at you, getting whiplash from the sudden change in your demeanor. Pow’s mouth hung open and you gently smiled at her, crouching down to be at eye level with her. “Are you okay Pow?”
Her lip wobbled slightly and she stuck out her arm towards you showing the crescent marks of the nails from the hand that had gripped her.
Softly you took her arm, gently kissing each mark. “I’ll put some balm on it once were back at home. Yeah?” She nodded and stumbled forward into your arms.
You stood up with the girl propped on your hip, when you felt a presence behind you. You turned around to see Vander standing there. His eyes laying upon your form with silent amazement and when he looked into your eyes, you could see something hot and heavy in his.
Your cheeks caught fire as he let you see the desire burning through his veins and you quickly turned back to the teens to hide your embarassment.
“I’m going to take her to The Last Drop. You wanna join us or stay out longer?”
The three older kids looked at each other before deciding they wanted to stay out and you smiled, knowing they would enjoy spending time without having to look after Powder.
Vander, you and Pow parted ways from them and Vander delicately took the blue haired girl from you. She leaned her head against his shoulder and promptly fell asleep.
“Dear!”, a voice called after you once you started walking and an old woman approached you holding your bag. “You forgot this when you saw that bastard. You can check, I didn’t take anything.”
Her back was hunched and with one hand she was heavily leaning on a stick. You grinned at her. “Thank you so much! That’s so kind of you.”
Her smile was missing teeth and she nodded. “Your welcome. We need more of you down here, this was the least I could do.”
You nodded at her in respect and joined Vander who had waited for you. The walk back was silent and your nerves caught up with you.
Was he angry that you decided to settle things on your own? Maybe he felt like you undermined his authority by making him stay back? Maybe he felt you had drawn too much attention? You nervously wrung your hands not knowing how to start a conversation.
Once you reached the last drop you busied yourself with shelving the new bottled while Vander put Powder to bed after apllying the bald to her wounds.
What if he didn’t want you to handle such things? Maybe you had been insolent in handling it? Maybe he-
You abruptly halted when you felt his hand at the small of your back. Fuck, it was so big and warm. The warmth spreading from your back to your neck all the way to the tips of your ears. You hadn’t even realized he had stepped behind you, being so caught up is your worries.
“What is it sweet’art. You’ve been awfully fidgety.” You felt his hands travel to your shoulders, gently massaging the cramped muscles there and you sighed upon the heavenly contact.
Nervously you looked down. “Are you angry with me?” You voice sounded small even to your ears.
His warm laugh immediately relieved some of the tension in your neck. “No darlin’. No." His voice was soft. "Now what would make you say such a thing?”, he questioned.
“You were so silent-”
“I didn’t wanna wake Powder.”
“-and that made me think that maybe you were angry at me for the way I told you to stay back. It rally wasn’t my place and I’m sorry, I just tried to prevent a fight from happening and it was really audacious of me and I don’t want you to feel like I am being too-“
The way his hand settled on your hips and abruptly turned you around smothered your voice in your throat making you stop in the middle of your sentence.
His expression made you gulp heavily. There was a heat in his eyes you had never seen before. You were acutely aware of his thumbs stroking your hip bones through your clothing.
“Fuck no darlin’.” When had his voice ever been so breathy? “I couldn’t help but replay that scene over and over in my head. Do you have any idea-“
He didn’t continue when you looked down again instead placing his forefinger under your chin and lifting your face. Your hands were clasped together and your eyes shone with uncertainty.
“Do you have any idea, how amazing you are? You..." His voice halted and you tilted your head curiously.
"To hell with it.”, he breathed and then his lips were on yours, one hand wandering to your back and one holding your head delicately.
You gasped for air. He didn’t kiss you gently; no this was all desperation and desire, his lips nearly bruising on yours. And when you brazenly teased with your tongue at his lips a gasp escaped him. He didn’t know where to place his hands, roaming them across your body, then settling them on your hips and lifting you onto the bar behind you.
Your hands had found his hair and you desperately tugged on it needing room to breath but needing him closer. Needing more.
Your legs locked around his hips and with his hand at the small of your back again he pressed your body entirely against his, not being able to handle any distance between you two.
Finally you needed to part, lest you really suffocate and you rested your forehead against his, eyes still closed. Your breath escaped you in huffs and you could feel his chest rising and falling just as quickly.
When you opened your eyes again and met his dazed gaze his lips quirked into a smile, a hand coming up to tenderly brush your hair back.
“Do ya get it now? Darlin’ that was the single most hot thing I’ve ever witnessed in ma entire life. Seeing the respect ya command, without using anything but yer pretty voice. I… fuck, Darling.” He chuckled desperately at a loss for words and you smiled shyly at him. A groan escaped him at your expression.
“Ya will be the death of me, ye hear me?”
Your eyes burned on his skin as you took in his broad form, the way he nearly trembled in your arms, breath still heaving from emotion.
This was Vander, the hound of the underground, and you had reduced him to this desperate mess. You placed your hands on his cheeks ready to pull him against you again when-
“Are you open again?” Someone had stuck their head into The Last Drop.
Vander groaned and his head fell against your shoulder.
“Yeah, we are.”, you called out silently laughing at the way Vanders hands flexed at your hips.
The man stepping inside looked at Vander and you and then awkwardly chose a table to sit.
He’d never know how much Vander despised him in that moment, as you pushed him away softly, fixing the first drink of the night.
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thoughtsofablob · 2 years
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I love me some good drugs
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thoughtsofablob · 2 years
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My cat is getting neutered soon
Uterus: snatched
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thoughtsofablob · 2 years
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Today I cried because I am doing so well at the moment
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thoughtsofablob · 2 years
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Decided to use this account again to twll you that rat
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thoughtsofablob · 3 years
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I trained really hard to like myself and the way I look and now that I like myself I have a bad conscience because everyone seems to dislike themselves and even though everyone is like "love yourself" no one really does, and I feel like I am being unfair if I love myself, like I am not supposed to because the majority dislikes themselves and that is such bullshit but I can't shake it
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thoughtsofablob · 3 years
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Stretch marks on the hips and on the butt, yes please
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thoughtsofablob · 3 years
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Wow, my dreams are wild
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thoughtsofablob · 3 years
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Today I wiped kohl pencil off the buttcheek of my classmate
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thoughtsofablob · 3 years
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I can lie face down, my naked butt on full display for my entire class to see but I can't walk to the chalkboard and read it because everyone will look at me if I'm walking to the front and what the fu-
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thoughtsofablob · 3 years
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I wanna draw more but I don't like my art so I never draw and it frustrates me
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thoughtsofablob · 3 years
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Me running down the stairs to take my medicine: Hmmmm, yessssss give it to me, my precious
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