wizardofahz

[wizardofahz]

Technically, I am downloading this Lancet paper for work, but in my heart, I'm doing it for Belle Fox.

#ahzy watches the artful dodger #tbh i would love a student like belle #the way she synthesizes when she reads #i work with ''kids'' that try to read a lot but ask them what the overall story is? they couldn't tell you #and by ''kids'' i mean people with masters degrees #i still love them but belle would be a game changer

[wizardofahz]

I think they should get to see each other again.

✒️Made in ClipStudio Paint

(Description below the cut, for redundancy sake. ❤️)

An illustration featuring Vin and TenSoon. Vin is slender and has pale skin and black shoulder-length hair. She wears her mistcloak wrapped around her shoulders, the cape of thin ribbons hanging down around her. Underneath she wears a white blouse, black pants, and black slip-on shoes. The blouse has long sleeves that puff up just below the elbow, closed off by long white cuffs that end just above the wrist.

TenSoon is in his wolf/dog form. He’s tall with shaggy black fur, a proud long snout and pointed ears. Stoic golden eyes look out amid darkness of his fur.

The two are facing each other. TenSoon sits on his haunches, resolute and patient. Vin is kneeling, right leg on the ground, the left stepped forward for balance. Her right arm hangs down, the hand resting on the right leg. Her left hand is up, cupping the bottom of TenSoon’s muzzle in a tender gesture of affection, as though holding his head up so that she can look at him, and he can look at her. Vin looks at him with a soft smile, mouth lightly parted to show her teeth, as though she’s laughing, though a little sad. It’s not really a goodbye. Not yet.

They’re surrounded by mist, lit from all around, but more-so from behind, a soft iridescent rainbow halos around them. Subtle beams of light from an unknown source scatter from the center of the scene, right between them.

#they should! #i remember finishing the trilogy and going to ao3 #hoping someone had written something #mistborn #vin #tensoon #books

[wizardofahz]

Added some colors to my kids!!!!

#breq my disaster dude mayhaps stop throwing yourself into danger #and elming sisters! #mentally drawing little hearts around those two #also i never expected to have feelings about tisarwat's eyes #but ''you were born with them'' !!! that got me #imperial radch #books

[wizardofahz]

Saw a Criminal Minds gifset and suddenly started thinking about canon vs. fanon JJ.

TL; DR: Fanon JJ is the facade canon JJ puts on to hide trauma.

(This discusses JJ's sister, so content warning for suicide)

The obvious starting point for understanding JJ's characterization is her sister's suicide. That's a traumatic event for anyone, and even more so for an eleven year old child. So it's quite understandable that JJ decides she will do whatever she can to avoid experiencing hurt like that again.

In episode 3.17, JJ tells Will about their relationship, "I didn't want to tell anyone because the minute I do it becomes real, and when it becomes real, people get hurt, and I've always run from getting hurt. Always."

But JJ didn't only lose her sister.

In episode 14.12, JJ's mom admits, "I got so caught up in all my troubles that I forgot there was another little girl under my roof who had just lost her sister. You needed me, and I wasn't there."

At eleven years old, JJ was a traumatized child without a support system. So she learned to rely on herself. Other people were just avenues for hurt, and she decided that wasn't worth it.

All of which leads to this confession from JJ in the season 14 finale: "There are only four people I trust in this world."

My three non-negotiables are Will, Hotch, and Emily. The fourth is between Reid and Garcia, but I lean towards the former given Garcia's penchant for invading people's privacy.

Even if anyone disagrees with that list, there's not a lot of room for choice. At any given time, the BAU usually has seven members, and given the amount of turnover they've had, JJ hasn't learned to trust most of them.

Do they know that? They probably know her facade masks trauma, but I doubt they know the extent of it. There's a reason that episode starts with the team playing poker, and JJ showing Reid he doesn't know her as well as he thinks he does.

So let's talk about that facade. In contrast to Reid, who wears his trauma on his sleeve, JJ buries hers as deeply as she can. She takes care of the people around her, and while it's not disingenuous, it's part of a prettily painted reinforced fortress wall that says, "hey, look at me, such a put-together person that doesn't have problems of my own, so I can help with yours."

And it does the job because it has fandom fooled too.

#criminal minds #jennifer jareau #it's been a while since i've meta-ed #i kinda miss it #tbh meta-ing feels like the hw that should be done before fic-ing #these days i'm too tired/busy to do both so i meta via fic #but that's more based on vibes than coherent thoughts #maybe i'll do leverage: redemption meta next #i go absolutely feral over the way gina bellman plays the sophie & astrid storyline #ahzy meta

[wizardofahz]

Rin and Venka hii 🤲🏼🫠

#their ending eats away at me on the regular #the venka feels #they won't leave me alone #the poppy war #sring venka #fang runin #books

[wizardofahz]

Been reading some old fics of yours. Mostly cm and cm/higher ground xovers. (The HG fandom is so dead nowadays) Anyway, you're really a talented author, just wanted to say that, because you really are. I'm the anon Kiwi btw. God I feel so old, I haven't been called that nickname in so long. Sorry for my tired rambling, I just wanna say hi and sharing my nostalgia with you.

Kiwi, hi! Wow, it's been a while. I hope you've been well!

You're too kind. 🥰 Please never be sorry for saying hi or rambling. It's such a shame that fandoms die so fast nowadays (not that HG is recent by any stretch). I'm trying to embrace writing all my fic ideas regardless of how long a show's been over. I may get one or two notes out of it, but if it makes me and one or two people happy then it's worth it. Hopefully I'll end up writing something you enjoy.

#kiwi #asks

[wizardofahz]

Hello,

If you are still doing drawing requests for inktober, I would love to see Jasnah Kholin in the classic 'wtf?' pose that lin beifong does in Korra.

Or

Your version of Tress (if you know Tress of the Emerald Sea from the cosmere.)

Love your art, keep it up!

For some reason, I fully zoned out and didn't register "Lin Beifong wtf pose" until after I'd drawn a Jasnah so... bonus, this prompt gets 2 drawings lol.

#what a prompt from anon #this is 100% canon #the stormlight archive #jasnah kholin #books

[wizardofahz]

Current mood :

#i cannot count the number of times i've sat down to dinner and tried to decide what new show to watch #only to end up watching fringe's jacksonville episode instead #about me #time to ignore ahzy

[wizardofahz]

Putting my sunglasses on indoors when I feel a migraine coming on

Pro: Not developing a debilitating headache and nausea Con: Having to explain to almost every co-worker that I am not in fact trying to look cool

#i'm honestly surprised how well it worked #[jean ralphio voice] light sensitivity is 🎵 the woooorst🎵 #time to ignore ahzy

[wizardofahz]

I remember when I was reading Ancillary Justice all I could picture whenever Seivarden and Breq were bantering was this lol

#💯 #justice of toren: and none for seivarden. bye. #imperial radch #books

[wizardofahz]

just doing a poll for my own Aro/Ace curiosity.

I don't want to hear from non Ace people on this one please. I'm also kinda trying to prove a point about there being more Ace people on this site. (As I seem to have collected them all, but none of them know each other). So my fellow ace people, please share this with all of your followers and we'll get a fun little social experiment out of it.

non ace people are encouraged to reblog, but don't vote; Thank you.

#just confused mostly #tbh most of the time i forget it exists #about me

[wizardofahz]

Ayt Madashi for the novella release

#ma'am have you considered being less terrifying #still thinking about that scene where she just looks at shae #and boss music starts playing in my head #the green bone saga #ayt mada #books

[wizardofahz]

Tress, Hoid, and Huck aren't on here because they'd sweep so time for this one!

#reblogging even though this poll isn't live anymore just to confirm that fort is the best #i cannot find a single fort appreciation post in the tags #and it feels like a crime against me personally #Tress of the Emerald Sea #books

[wizardofahz]

WIP game:

I am curious about "A Question of Identity" and "Monsters in the Mirror" if you please. Thank you!

Sure thing! You picked some angsty fics to ask about. 😈

A Question of Identity is a WIP in which tragedy makes the Danvers sisters do a lot of assessing and rebuilding of their senses of self. I suppose it's kind of an alternate ending to season 3. I've posted a couple of sneak peeks in the past (1, 2), and here comes another one.

Kara hears the entrance of the Fortress of Solitude open. There’s only one other person who can open that door. For a moment she considers leaving. She doesn’t have the energy to interact with anyone. She doesn’t in the end. She also doesn’t have the energy to care if her lack of resolve worries Kal. “I thought I might find you here,” Kal says from behind her. Kara doesn’t bother turning around, just asks, “What do you want, Kal?”  “I wanted to see how you’re doing and to ask if there’s anything I can do,” he offers. Many people have offered Kara the abstract “anything.” It’s a nice sentiment, but Kara has found little solace in it thus far. “There’s nothing anyone can do.” “Kara,” Kal says as if there must be something he can do but quickly pauses when nothing comes to mind. The name elicits a laugh from her that surprises them both. Perhaps calling it a laugh is generous. It’s more of an escape of helpless emotion. Kara.  That’s her name.  But what does it mean? Is she Kara Zor-El? Is she Kara Danvers? Losing Krypton had been traumatic. In some ways though, the necessity of total reinvention had helped. Kara Danvers held little of the trauma of Kara Zor-El, no hints of alienness, invisible by design. It had only been in recent years between becoming Supergirl and a reporter that she had started to let the latter seep into the former. Who is Kara on Earth? Who is she without Alex?  Once upon a time, Kara thought about moving to Metropolis to be with Kal. Alex had protested being left behind. But Alex is gone now. Kara could move to Metropolis. But all she wants is Alex back, Alex who made this planet home. “There’s never been a Kara Danvers without Alex,” Kara says out loud.  The non sequitur has Kal looking confused. “There was only Kara Zor-El,” Kara continues and, without realizing it, switches to Kryptonian. “There is only Kara Zor-El, who has lost her family, her culture, her planet. Kara Zor-El, who does not exist on this Earth. Kara Zor-El never had an Alex Danvers. Except that’s not quite true, is it? Because Alex did know me. All of me.” Kara only realizes she’s switched to her native tongue when she looks at Kal El, looks at Clark Kent, who has only ever known this planet and looks apologetically lost. “Do you understand anything I am saying right now?” she asks. There’s no malice in her voice, only sadness. “I--” Clark begins sheepishly in English. “Only some of it. I’m sorry.”  “It’s not your fault,” Kara says tiredly because it isn’t.

Monsters in the Mirror is about guilt and facing the consequences of one's actions. It's set in season 2. I do have an old sneak peek, but to be honest, it could do with more editing. Here's a more updated sneak peek.

In her apartment, M'gann watches Alex pace back-and-forth, full of unsettled energy. In the end, it's no surprise when Alex changes course and heads for the door. “You know what? Forget it. You wouldn’t understand.” “Before you walk out that door--because if you really want to, I won’t stop you--I just want to say one thing," M'gann says. To her relief, Alex stops with her hand on the doorknob. She doesn't turn around, but M'gann senses hope that maybe her words of wisdom will make a difference. M'gann continues, “If you want to keep running, that’s your choice. But I don’t think you do. You came to me for a reason. You could have gone to Kara or J’onn. You know they would welcome you with open arms at any time"--at this, Alex's head dips in guilty acknowledgment--"but you came to me instead. Kara and J'onn know guilt, of course they do. But they know the guilt of surviving what has been done to them. You chose me because I know what it's like to live with the guilt of what I have done. So don’t tell me I won’t understand.” Alex slumps. She rests her head against the door. She stays like that for a while until she finally musters up the words. “I killed my dad,” Alex says quietly. M'gann wants to believe that she misheard. She knows enough about J'onn and the Danvers to know how important family is. No wonder Alex has been spiraling. M'gann waits for Alex to continue, knowing a break in momentum may mean the rest never comes at all. “I always knew that I would do anything to protect Kara. I just... I never thought that would mean killing other people that I love." Alex pauses to take a deep, shuddering breath. "And maybe the worst part"--She hesitates again. Clearly what's coming next is the part she really doesn't want to face--"is that I’d do it again. For Kara, I would. What does that say about me? If I’m capable of killing my dad, then what won’t I do? Who wouldn’t I hurt? J’onn? My mom?”

And thus ends our double dose of angst.

Thanks for the ask!

#segfaultfault #asks #also for the anon with the ask re: the same fics

[wizardofahz]

Avengers, meet WidowFam

Fandom: MCU Compilation: Moments in the Life of WidowFam A/N: I don’t care about canon, so no characters are dead, and I get to do whatever I want.

Maria quietly lets herself into the safe house.

Outside in the backyard, Natasha and Yelena are busy sparring, but Maria has no delusions that her entrance went unnoticed. She proceeds into the kitchen and sets about preparing her materials for the briefing.

Sure enough, when the sisters eventually wander in, neither reacts to her presence with surprise. Yelena merely gives her an appraising look and greets her by name.

"Maria Hill."

"Yelena Belova," Maria responds in kind.

Natasha, who has retrieved water bottles from the refrigerator, merely rolls her eyes at them. She throws one at Yelena, hard. Yelena catches it easily. She fakes throwing it back, arm shooting forward. Natasha doesn't fall for it. Instead of preparing to catch anything, she pelts Yelena with the second bottle. Yelena has to readjust quickly to catch it.

"If we could get on with the briefing"--Maria pauses as a water bottle flies past her face--"you are the reason I'm here after all."

"Yes, Natasha. Behave," Yelena says, smugness only growing when a look from Maria stops Natasha's retaliation in its tracks.

Maria tells them about Ross' investigation into the Red Room and the tracking of the subjugated Widows.

"This is where he plans to start looking." Maria slides several hard copy files across the table. "Depending on how much you trust him, you can decide if you want to prioritize them or the others."

Natasha slides the list to Yelena.

"I've got a list of identities and documents you can use for them." Following Natasha's cue, Maria tosses a packet Yelena's way. She turns to Natasha. "And I've got a call with Stark set up for you."

"These names are so boring," Yelena says, rifling through passports. "But I guess that should be expected from Robin Parios of Canada."

She reaches for a pocket, then frowns. She pats around her other pockets.

Natasha tosses the passport of Maria's current cover at her.

Yelena glares at her, affronted. "When did you--?"

"Stop stealing things from Hill."

"Stop stealing things from me."

Maria has no idea when Yelena had the chance to filch her passport, and she doesn't bother wondering. She merely keeps a firm grip on it for the rest of her visit.

…

Natasha tells Clint about her newly reunited family.

He's her best friend, her family as much as the widows. He tells her he's happy for her, but he knows better than to ask too many questions. He accepts whatever details she's willing to give and requests nothing more.

The reunion comes in handy when they encounter a black market device that requires an expertise in neurochemistry. Even though Natasha has started making amends with Stark, Clint has not. And truthfully, it's only because it's Clint that Natasha offers to call Melina.

Melina picks up promptly. She gives Natasha a once over to make sure she's okay. Natasha briefly introduces Clint, and then they're off discussing potential mitigation plans and inventory needs. Melina is matter-of-fact as always, but it's nice.

Until she hears, "Natasha!"

Natasha groans as Alexei appears beside Melina. His eyes rove across the screen. When he confirms his nemesis is no where to be found, he begins, "Where is--" before catching the look of annoyance on Natasha's face. He clears his throat. "How is my favorite Avenger?"

After Natasha responds that she's fine, Melina wrestles the conversation back to the topic at hand. She has to shush Alexei a few more times. Alexei takes it good-naturedly--after all, what does he know about neurochemistry--until they start strategizing how to break into the enemy compound.

"You cannot use a Photostatic Veil to bypass all biometric security measures," Melina protests. “Think, Natasha. It is not logical.”

“Why not?" Alexei jumps in. "What I say, Natasha, hmm? Remember Santa Claus.”

“Oh my god,” Natasha mutters under her breath.

Oblivious to her embarrassment, Alexei proudly states, “Our girls learned to believe, to reach for the stars, and they took down the Red Room.”

“Santa Claus?” Clint asks, smirk entirely too wide.

Natasha sighs. Later, she'll get her fair share of payback for all the teasing she's wrangled out of Laura's stories.

…

Natasha follows Tony and Bruce into one of the compound lounges. Her sauntering pace prevents her from stumbling into Tony as he stutter-steps to a halt.

A familiar figure lies on one of the couches. Familiar to her. Not so much to Tony and Bruce.

“Who are you?" Tony asks, feigning nonchalance. "And how did you get in here?”

Yelena ignores the first question. “Your security is very lacking.”

Natasha walks behind the couch and leans over the back. “What are you doing here?” She reaches down to brush her hand against Yelena’s forehead and up into her hair. 

“There was a widow nearby," Yelena replies. "I thought I’d come say hi.”

“You okay?” Natasha asks.

Yelena doesn't respond verbally. She turns her head, pressing her cheek into Natasha's hand. That tells Natasha everything she needs to know.

“Next time you can go to my room. We’ll get your biometrics set up.”

“Woah, presumptuous much?” Tony protests. "Maybe you should run that by us first."

"I can do it," Bruce volunteers. "Let me get my tablet."

Natasha appreciates the immediate trust.

"Uh, maybe we should find out who the mystery woman is first," Tony says to Bruce, but Natasha can tell he's posturing just for the sake of it. He trusts her too.

To reward that trust, she says, "She's my little sister."

"Oh. Well, okay then--Wait, little sister?"

…

Natasha has a sister.

It's not a revelation Steve saw coming, but their sisterly connection is undeniable. In fact, the reason behind their relationship is precisely the reason Steve lets Natasha bring Yelena along on this mission.

Bucky is still being held in cryogenic stasis in Wakanda, and Steve wants to make sure there are no more hidden Hydra scientists and facilities to haunt him when he's woken up.

Natasha and Yelena know exactly what that's like.

As Steve stalks down the dark corridor, he hears something, movement further down the corridor but out of sight. He turns back to signal a warning to the sisters.

He doesn't need to.

By the time he turns, Natasha and Yelena are both stopping of their own accord, heads tilting in completely synchronized responses to the same sound.

It's sweet or some other adjective that they would hate but is relevant nonetheless.

The facility is run by a skeleton crew that's easy to dispose of between the three of them. They separate to get the job done. Before the trio are reunited, Steve hears two whistles. The first from his left: pitch low then high--Natasha. The second with pitches reversed--Yelena.

Despite the whistle signals, Natasha instinctively checks to make sure Yelena's all right. Yelena does the same.

Again, it's sweet.

He's glad Natasha has that. She deserves it.

… 

Thor calls while Natasha is in Russia with her family.

"Hey," Natasha says as she accepts the call.

"Widow!" Thor greets cheerfully.

What has Thor reaching out from space, Natasha will never know because Yelena plops down on the couch beside her. “Hello, god from space.”

Natasha shoves her out of frame. "Ignore her."

“Hey,” Yelena complains, voice whinier than usual, higher than usual, making her sound younger, which naturally means–

“Natasha, be nice,” Melina’s voice floats in from her study.

“What? I didn’t even– She started it.”

“Listen to your mother,” Alexei interjects.

“Oh my god,” Natasha mutters in Russian.

With Thor's allspeak, he doesn't even blink at the linguistic transition. He merely laughs. “Yes, even gods are familiar with bothersome siblings. When we were children, Loki once recruited a pit of snakes to wrap me up like one of your Egyptian mummies.”

Yelena frowns at his fond tone. “Isn’t he the one that tried to take over Earth?”

Natasha wonders if Thor's tired of that question by now, but he shrugs easily. “He’s adopted.”

Natasha jerks her head to the left. “So is she.”

“So are you!” Yelena protests.

"I was unaware you had siblings," Thor says.

"It's been a while," Natasha explains. "We only recently reconnected."

"How wonderful," Thor replies.

"Yes, it is," Yelena says. "For her. I'm delightful."

Natasha shoves Yelena out of frame again.

But yeah, she has to admit, it is.

#mcu #natasha romanoff #yelena belova #and i'm already too tired to tag everyone else #moments in the life of widowfam #staying on brand as i shift from one pair of adoptive sisters to another #ahzy writes

[wizardofahz]

For the WIP game, curious about your two MCU fics!

Thanks for asking!

Splinter is a Maria Hill-centric version of Civil War. Here's a little sneak preview:

Maria sits through her Stark Industries exit interview thinking she should’ve had Pepper teach the interrogation courses for SHIELD. “You have five minutes to make me understand,” Pepper says in her no-nonsense CEO voice. “And don’t even try to sell me this sorry excuse of a reason”—she taps her tablet—“because you know our team of lawyers can get you out of this.” Even so, Maria was second-in-command to Nick Fury. Maria has weathered her fair share of intimidating glares. Her response comes easily.

Moments in the Life of WidowFam is the Black Widow version of Moments in the Life of SuperFam, i.e., a series of largely unconnected ficlets that mostly focus on Natasha and Yelena but often incorporate other characters as well.

In fact, another special thank you for asking because that pushed me to finally finish the first installment: Avengers, Meet WidowFam.

#comickergirl #asks

[wizardofahz]

WIP Tag Game

Rules:

post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have wips.

Tagged by: @mx-loar-tev

I will not shame myself by listing every WIP, but here are the ones I'm amenable to being lovingly bullied into finishing.

Fringe

The Inevitable Confrontation (Olivia)

Leverage: Redemption

Untitled (Sophie, Astrid, Parker)

MCU

Splinter (Maria Hill)

Moments in the Life of WidowFam (Natasha, Yelena)

NCIS: Hawaii

Helios (Kate)

Untitled (season 1, Kate)

Untitled (season 3, Kate)

Person of Interest crossover

Supergirl

A Question of Identity (Danvers sisters)

The Family Cultural Exchange (Kara, Alex, Alura, Eliza)

Visit to Midvale (J'onn, Alex, Kara, Eliza)

Monsters in the Mirror (Alex, M'gann)

Black Lightning crossover (J'onn, Grace)

Kindred Spirits, Part III (Kara, Eliza, Nikita crossover)

Apparently I am supposed to tag people, but I barely know anyone. Tagging: @stranger-who-writes-fiction, @leilaofpaper, and anyone who sees this and wants to do it

#anyone wanna ask me things? #i can't remember why but i recently had a sudden urge to get back to Question of Identity #i should probably finish a couple other fics first though