wordsofaphoenix

[wordsofaphoenix]

thought the thomas shelby-peaky blinders haircut was an exaggeration/old timey thing. but no actually i went to a concert of british bands and they Actually Do That?

#ngl the boston manor lead is kinda 👀👀 tho #in my defense he was wearing glasses and i’m a slut for those :( #this is a main post because it’s not good enough for my sideblog

[wordsofaphoenix]

tape casette recorders are compatible with literally every. single. thing. im out here living in 2095.

#reference

[wordsofaphoenix]

rb with what your spotify color palatte is + the average danceability and energy of your songs

#orange w 68% danceability and 48% energy #but they based this on the entirety of dreamland and also ycgma

[wordsofaphoenix]

sending important emails or texts is like: *turns off notifications*

#i sent an academic email and turned off my outlook notifications #i sent a text to my boss and put her on do not disturb #it's just scary #knowing i have a response scares me because i'm not emotionally prepared #but when i am emotionally prepared i will check on my own #until then i'll pretend i haven't sent anything

[wordsofaphoenix]

so. my fish died the other day. but I still have a snail so I keep the day/night light cycle and the filter/heater running and i’ve even sprinkled a bit of fish food in there just bc i’m worried he doesn’t have enough to eat and it’s like....on one hand it’s helping me cope by keeping the routine i had with my fish but on the other, every time i become aware of the light being on or hear the filter and i glance over looking for my fish to be peeking through the leaves only to remember a second later that he’s never going to be there again.

so like....that’s bittersweet baby

i miss him so much and i know he had a nice life (esp compared to how a lot of bettas live) and was taken care of and there was literally nothing i could do to prevent his death but fuck man. i still feel like a lousy fish parent because i was fucking asleep when he died. i knew he was struggling and probably wouldn’t live through the night but i still went to sleep. and i was crying too hard in the morning to even say any goodbyes to his body. i know he wasn’t there (and even if he was, he’s a fish that doesn’t understand words) but it’s just....god. death sucks.

-worm

#lifeofwrm

[wordsofaphoenix]

kinda wish dream would release a hoodie with a subtle/small corner logo so i can wear it to work/in everyday life without being anxious thank you

(i know there are the ones w the character blob but i’m talking the lovely lil smiley face)

#feel like shit just want a dream hoodie #but i can’t wear things w graphics to work so i can’t make myself buy one :( #i will eventually i just have to talk myself into it #em rambles #dream #dream merch

[wordsofaphoenix]

i’m sorry to all younger siblings that have to deal with the ‘oh are you related to *older sibling*?’ because i’m sure that’s annoying but as an older sibling, hearing that people remember me is phenominal.

my brother comes home and is like ‘mr. smith says hi’ and i make him talk me through exactly what happened for like fifteen minutes.

#a weird number of teachers from my high school remember my name #especially considering i did not talk to a single one of them #well okay i did fully pass out in front of one's desk #so that one is understandable #it's also bc i need to be liked by everybody all the time #and since i never lit anything on fire....they probably don't remember me in a negative light

[wordsofaphoenix]

who wants to be friends and also explain everything that’s ever happened in the dream smp server bc i want to get into the storyline but i’m so fucking lost it’s like starting a tv series but you’re starting in the middle of a random episode from season four without any clue as to what the show is and there’s no ‘previously on...’ aHHH

#like bruh pls #im getting invested but IDK WHAT I'M GETTING INVESTED IN #dream smp #dreamwastaken #sapnap #georgenotfound

[wordsofaphoenix]

finally finished this painting i sketched out months ago… please click for better quality i know tumblr is gonna kill it (reference used)

[wordsofaphoenix]

turning to tumblr for this one

but i saw a tiktok (that i didn’t get to like before my fyp refreshed) of ethan on stream leaning off camera and then when he came back there was smoke and he kinda like shushed the camera

and i just think it was the best shit so if anyone can find that video (not necessarily the tiktok) i will owe you my life. it has to exist somewhere but google is fruitless

edit: thanks for the links yall are lifesavers

#unus annus #ethan nestor #crankgameplays

[wordsofaphoenix]

Literally just... imagine waking up in a world where Tr*mp is no longer president.. that sounds so incredibly sexy to me

[wordsofaphoenix]

multiple mental health professionals: that was a traumatic event for you

me: ok but that’s a stupid thing to be traumatized by so

#my therapist: you definitely do that because of this thing with an obvious connection to the action #me: surprised pikachu face #personal #em rambles

[wordsofaphoenix]

my snake is currently in the process of having his first clean shed (he has it all bunched down around his tail now) and words cannot describe the pride i feel. my little baby boy. all grown up. oh how i love him.

(psa i know that complete sheds are not a sign of snakes growing or learning because getting rid of that skin is instinctual, but he’s finally utilizing the humid hide i always provide so in that way it can be seen as him learning the best/easiest way to go about it)

#cw snake #personal #em rambles

[wordsofaphoenix]

this made me realize that i’d been subtly bullied my entire childhood. i’ve been asked by several people if i was ever bullied and i’ve always said no because no one ever pushed me into lockers or threw my books around so i genuinely thought i never had. and while that does unfortunately happen, i feel like this is a more common form of bullying that isn’t talked about as much.

#sorry #just had to get that out there #because my therapist asked me today if id been bullied #and i said no #but i think i lied

[wordsofaphoenix]

cannot believe i can’t just skip to the fifteenth therapy session where the therapist already knows my trauma and we just talk about my day and she just goes “oh that’s because of your issues with your dad!” and i’m like “oh sweet i figured, here’s a tik tok”

like you mean i have to tell her?

#personal #em rambles

[wordsofaphoenix]

Reminder to donate here to the Quileutes to help them move to higher ground away from the tsunami zone. Don’t buy Smeyer’s racist book and aid the people she stole from. If you want to read Midnight Sun like a lot of us, there’s gonna be PDFs circling online so you don’t have to waste your money on her book.

[wordsofaphoenix]