meowmeowmu

[meowmeowmu]

[meowmeowmu]

New & used books added, stop by and check them out. Link below 👇🏽

#new #newyork #nyc #california #mtg #tcg #pokemon #yugioh #ebayseller #life #happycustomer #love #fyp #fypシ #viral #follow #bookworm #booklover #shopping #puertorico #books #book #read #reading #library #guam #hawaii #chicago #seattle

[meowmeowmu]

Level 1: Prophecy proclaims that no man can kill villain; killed by woman.

Level 2: Prophecy proclaims that no weapon can harm villain; pushed down stairs and dies.

Level 3: Prophecy proclaims that villain will be brought low by no mortal hand; kicked to death by angry mob.

Level 4: Prophecy proclaims that no power on Earth shall be villain’s undoing; fatally distracted by sun in eyes.

Level 5: Prophecy proclaims that only power of laughter can defeat villain; beat up by clown.

#lol #funny stuff #funny

[meowmeowmu]

my partner doesn’t use pet names nearly as much as i do, which is very funny because i will crack my gay little knuckles and say some shit like “good morning my sun and moon, my loveliest boy, my baby my sweetheart my darling dearest” and he will reply “hello adrian”

[meowmeowmu]

Last night I had a dream I woke up to find that my house had been turned into a Smart House with every wall being a digital screen including the roof so I could see it even laying on bed and the Siri voice said “Don’t worry. You are perfectly safe in your Apple Smart Home™️” knowing I have a BIG phobia of intruders especially at night and it continued with “Let’s explore the neighborhood from the comfort of your home” so it opened google maps and accidentally zoomed past a shitty jpeg of the girl from The Ring standing outside my house and it said “ignore that”. woke up laughing

#lol #life #funny #apple #like #follow #funny stuff

[meowmeowmu]

oh gods it was parents evening again tonight..

other parents: how did you do that?

Me:do what?

Other parents: your teenager is eating a salad..

Me:i never forced him eat, now he will pretty much eat anything…except chicken casserole which we both agree is gross

Other parents:we don’t get it.

Me: our only rules are bed at eleven on a school night and don’t hack any important government agencies.

Other parents: you don’t restrict screen time?

Me: you know 95% of kids will self regulate, given the chance?

Other parents: thats not true

Me: have you tried it?

other parents:…but, now he’s reading 1984

Me: he has had a university reading level since he was 12, what am i going to do censor his reading material?

other Parents: what if he reads something you don’t approve of..

Me: i fail to see your reasoning…

Me: you know he cooks too..it’s our mother/son time, we talk about his friends…

other Parents: he talks??

[meowmeowmu]

its so scary to put yourself out there but a SINGLE message saying "hi i loved what you made it touched me in some way" makes it all worth it 10000%

[meowmeowmu]

Imagine a bee rn in a hive muttering "the beekeeper is not real because he is not intervening or helping me at all with this disastrous relationship I have with another bee". now imagine that's you talking about the good lord. now imagine a dog with a propeller hat on

[meowmeowmu]

#lol #funny stuff #funny #anxiety #life #lifestyle #mental health

[meowmeowmu]

i always convince myself i dont sound that weird and then i go out in the world and get involved in anything longer than transactional small talk and its like ohhh thats right ive only been hanging out with gay people who speak in riddles

[meowmeowmu]

whenever i click the cc button on a youtube video that clearly has a high budget and is made by a fucking studio and i see “english - auto generated” i spit daggers from my eyes and mouth at whoever decided to not pay someone to make actual captions

#Subtitles

[meowmeowmu]

i was playing scrabble and i had a B, U, R, G, E, and R and i thought “aha burger, one who burgs, but my mom will never accept that as a word” but then i remembered burger is actually a word

[meowmeowmu]

that comment about how you should not borrow grief from the future has saved me multiple times from spiraling into an inescapable state of anxiety. like every time i find myself thinking about how something in the future could go wrong i remember that comment and i think to myself: well i never know, it might get better. it might not even happen the way i think it will and if it does happen and it is sad and bad ill be sad about it then, when it happens. and it’s somehow soo freeing

[meowmeowmu]

Langston Hughes (1902-1967), ‘Tired’, “New Masses”, Vol. 6, #9, Feb. 1931 Source

[meowmeowmu]

#mask #coronavirus #corona #funny #funny stuff #joke #lol #lesbian #love #life

[meowmeowmu]

It’s just a deep tissue massage

#save the planet #planet earth #love #life #me #funny #funny stuff #lol #like #follow

[meowmeowmu]

why the fuck does english have a word for

but not for “the day after tomorrow”

???

#Cornobble #funny #funny stuff #humor #dark humor #english #england #language