pl-ceh-lder

[pl-ceh-lder]

i cannot stress enough how lucky i got to have the friends that i do

i’m at a party rn and i got really overwhelmed because it was an easter potluck and the dish i was gonna bring got messed up bc our oven broke, then i couldn’t eat a lot at the potluck bc when i get too stressed i can’t try anything new and EVERYTHING was something new, then it was way louder than i anticipated and there were a lot of flashing lights and stuff once the actual Party part started

but then my friend (who lives in the apartment the party’s at) quietly and discreetly offered me her room for as long as i needed it and helped me out with the lights, and my roommate brought me water and some snacks they keep for me in case i can’t find anything i can eat when im stressed and i just

i got really really really lucky and everyone in my class is so kind and i know they don’t even think about these things as being a big deal but it means the literal world to me, i love them all a lot

i’ve gotten more grounded and they’re watching hop so i’m probably gonna join them in a few minutes :]

#clown conference #actually autistic #food mention #tw eating issues #easter #autistic experiences #friendship #i just love them a lot

[pl-ceh-lder]

does anyone have that audio post of a big crowd all singing “no children” by the mountain goats together? it’s been living in my mind as such a raw and beautifully human moment and i REALLY need it

#clown conference #the mountain goats #no children #i hope it was not #a Niche Post #i just remember seeing it like three or four years ago and #it really stuck with me #folk music #indie folk #tmg posting

[pl-ceh-lder]

this crossover is more possible than you think

[likes and rbs appreciated! original image in reblogs]

#clown conference #digital art #batman #dick grayson #nightwing #nightwing fanart #animaniacs #yakko warner #animaniacs fanart #dick grayson fanart #crossover #who knows who they’re talking about #i just know yakkos gonna fuck some shit up silly style #fanart #artwork #artists on tumblr #original art

[pl-ceh-lder]

i got so unbelievably fucking lucky with my roommate i can’t believe it like i cant even put into words how much i love them and how grateful i am for their patience and consideration and consistency

as much i love them all, i really think if i lived with anyone else in our program the sheer stress of the work would bleed into the home and they wouldnt be as tolerant or cognizant of my peculiarities, so i think i truly am very blessed to have all that i do and i’m glad my roommate and i can grow and learn and accommodate one another together instead of letting stubbornness and different needs pull us apart

#clown conference #actually autistic #roommates #friendship #actually neurodivergent #actually adhd #growth #i just have a lot of very small things that need to be the way i need them to be #and im very lucky that they are willing to talk things out if either of us are upset or need something #which i know is like the bare minimum but in our program things are very fast paced and high stakes #long hours turn into long weeks turn into stress turn into outbursts #but no matter what we both know we care and are trying and we feel safe and happy in our little apartment #thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!!! #stream of consciousness #im just feeling very sappy and grateful and i always get a little giddy after #initiating a conversation about something thats stressing me out and not immediately getting ridiculed or yelled at #its very nice and new to have my needs heard and idk if i’ll ever get over the feeling!!!!! #okay goodnight!!!!!

[pl-ceh-lder]

sometimes instagram makes me giggle

#clown conference #idek what to tag this

[pl-ceh-lder]

if tua s4 doesn’t end with klaus having his soldier boy with all of his memories back and them being alive and safe and in love and living peaceful lives then what is even the point

#clown conference #tua klaus #klaus tua #the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #tua s4 #dave katz #i just need him to be happy #its The Time Travel Show surely they can explain it SOMEHOW

[pl-ceh-lder]

ghost boy

#clown conference #tua #tua klaus #the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #klaus tua #digital art #artwork #tua art #tua fanart

[pl-ceh-lder]

i wish the prospect of seeing me was enough for people to want to hang out with me. it really really sucks that drugs always have to be involved. why can’t i be good enough for anyone if they’re not drunk or high?

#clown conference #actually autistic #drug cw #drugs mention #alcohol mention #alcohol cw #alcohol #i know it’s not personal and i know no one sees it this way but i have expressed the desire to want to hang out with people #and they always cancel or reschedule bc they’re hungover or some other thing #and the only time i can ever get people to come over is if my roommate is providing them with weed #why am i not good enough

[pl-ceh-lder]

i know this is serious but i thought this post was a response to hello kitty dressed in 10”” dinosaur plush doll

[pl-ceh-lder]

hi ! check out my fic if you'd like :o]

#clown conference #ao3 link #ao3 writer #ao3 author #steven universe #steven universe fanfic #su fanfic #angst #hurt/comfort

[pl-ceh-lder]

one of my childhood best friends just said that i was one of HER childhood best friends and i didnt know how much i needed to hear that

#clown conference #for a long time (like literally until rn) i thought i didnt really have best friends as a kid #bc i was told that you could only have one and i believed that #but in my head i always considered them my best friends even if they didnt think the same #so its really nice to know after all these years that she felt the same way about me as i did about her #healed something i didnt know was hurt i guess #actually autistic #friendship #inner child #best friends

[pl-ceh-lder]

ugh i love sleeping but i HATE the fact that i NEED to do it. if i could just choose to do it, i would still do it pretty often, but the fact that i need it to survive pisses me off. “oh you cant survive without being completely dead to the world for 8 hours every day” are you fucking serious?????? what is even The Point

#clown conference #actually autistic #sleep #is this anything #im just annoyed cause i have to be up early in the morning tmrw so i gotta go to bed now #this is such a Non problem #i’m glad to be having this ‘problem’ right now actually ive needed a break from the Real problems before i completely lost it #so if having to go to sleep is my biggest issue at the moment then i am SO so so blessed #thank you world ! <3

[pl-ceh-lder]

i love my neighborhood so dearly bc ive known these people my whole life and we’re all family!! so i know that whenever i lock my car (i have to lock it five times, and it beeps every time) i know theyre not annoyed about it because they know that it means i’m home and safe :] anywhere else im worried about disturbing others but when i’m home i know that if anyone notices the “HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK”, they’ll feel good knowing im safe at home

#clown conference #i really don’t even know what to tag this #happy new year #family #something about suburbs and being a lower middle class poc #idk poc just Take Care Of Each Other (where i live) #theyre always so scared for me since ive moved to nyc so theyre always very very happy when im home #we get visitors asking ‘is buddy home? its car wasnt here!’ #very very cute #humanity #so beautiful

[pl-ceh-lder]

coming back home often puts me in a very similar headspace to that of steven universe towards the end of su:f (bad) but with that comes the emotional push that i need to get out of my artblock and ideas start pouring out of me like a coke freestyle machine (good)

anyway prepare for a large influx of fics this holiday season

#clown conference #equivalent exchange… #steven universe #steven universe future #ao3 fanfic #fanfiction #fanfiction author

[pl-ceh-lder]

do yall think gangle tried telling the others about how they were isekai’d and no one listens because no one knows what that means… i would listen…

#clown conference #tadc #tadc gangle #the amazing digital circus #this is silly i’m just imagining her running around trying to explain and everyone is like #either actively ignoring her or just loses the plot so quick they cant keep up with her ramblings #isekai

[pl-ceh-lder]

check out my fic!

comments kudos and reblogs appreciated and cherished <3

#clown conference #batman #dick grayson #jason todd #ao3 fanfic #batman fanfiction #dick grayson fanfiction #jason todd fanfiction #angst #hurt/comfort #nightwing #red hood #brotherly feels #self indulgent #tw sui ideation

[pl-ceh-lder]

one thing about having tics in nyc is that no one cares At All

its very freeing to me, in a way. there’s still that little bit of fear that i’ll get misunderstood or hurt in some way, but people here really have other things to worry about and my tics on the subway are not nearly the strangest thing theyve seen in the last 20 minutes

especially when i’m with friends in public too, they never react to my tics anymore so everyone who does notice is just like “oh okay theyre fine” and move on with their day

way better than back in the suburbs where one singular strange thing will have you being stared at until you leave

#clown conference #tics #motor tics #tourrettes #verbal tics #tics and tourettes #tic disorder