robyn-hunt

[robyn-hunt]

The tables have turned

NOW that I don’t want you, you make the effort… NOW that I don’t care about what you do with your life, you give me attention… NOW that you see your manipulation doesn’t work… just NOW. But NOT when I asked you to, NOT when I begged you, NOT when I cried for it… NOT then, just NOW.

#moving on #detached #toxic masculinity #free #my writing #goodbye #not now #not then #happiness

[robyn-hunt]

Nadie se siente tan abandonado como aquel que tiene a alguien a medias.

[robyn-hunt]

“Untitled�� by | Tom Juenemann

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Si te vas llevate todo por favor, no me dejes las ilusiones y esperanzas que tenia para nosotros, no me dejes esperando una oportunidad, llevate todo sin regreso.

[robyn-hunt]

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LOOOOL

[robyn-hunt]

En defensa del alcohol puedo decir que tome las peores decisiones estando sobrio.

[robyn-hunt]

Peace

Right here, right now is the most peaceful I have felt in a long time. I’m alone in the park in a cloudy but warm day, I can smell the rain approximating and the grass recently cut. I’m listening to my favourite songs at the moment, both by Kehlani, “Bright” and “Honey”. My ex is supposed to come to the house today and unlike other days I don’t want him to rush, he can take his time because right now all I need is myself, this park and my music.

I see people walking by, I hear kids laughing in the distance, I see people exercising and playing tennis, I see friends enjoying each other’s company and I see people like me, just chilling by themselves. This feeling is amazing, and I need to write it so in my bad days, I remember that not everything is lost, I can be this good again.

My psychologist told me today feelings come and go and it can happen very fast, we just need to adapt to it like animals do. Just welcome whatever comes your way. Wether is happiness, sadness, grief, anger, peace, uncertainty… and wave goodbye when they leave because everything pass, everything changes, constantly. Don’t get attached to anything, not friends, not lovers, not material stuff, not even yourself as you are forever changing and growing. Enjoy it while it last and when it’s time for it to leave, say “Thank you for the experience”.

#peace #nature #good vibes #music #bright #honey #grass #warm weather #rain #self care #self love #tranquility #breathe #experiences #goodbye #detachment #grateful #happiness #thank you

[robyn-hunt]

Practicing self-care

Today my plan was to wake up at 10 and take care of myself, do all the little things that I’ve been neglecting lately. Instead I woke up at 8 with a nightmare but unlike other days I didn’t allow it to bring me down. I embraced these extra hours and even tho my plans have changed slightly it is for the best. The Universe is talking to me, is time to heal.

I did yoga last night, and this morning when I woke up. Does it happen to you too that, when you are in a bad place you forget how much you enjoy these little things? I loved my practice! it gave me so much peace. I also did exercise and even though I didn’t feel like it, I pushed myself to do it because I know I will be glad later when I see my progress. Right now I’m exploring my new hobby which is writing, I’m not great at it but I don’t do it to be great, I do it because it makes me feel good, because I enjoy expressing what I feel and be able to come back to it in some time and remember how far I’ve come. I’m also happy that I’m disconnecting from my social media today, not completely but enough to feel what I’m feeling without the distractions and stress that come with networking. The plan for the afternoon is to meet some friends to ride bikes and dance. A part of me is resisting this plan but the other is shining for it. Today I follow the second one, I’ve licked my wounds long enough, is time to enjoy and forget all my worries even if it is for one day.

#self care #listen to the universe #peace of mind #healing #self love #my writing #explore #yoga #health & fitness #disconnected #self connection #dance

[robyn-hunt]

Lydia Davis from Essays One; “Thirty Recommendations for Good Writing Habits”

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who would’ve thought?

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So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow.

— Rainbow Rowell

[robyn-hunt]

Coincidir contigo ha sido de las cosas más increíbles y dolorosas que me han sucedido.

P

[robyn-hunt]

What if...

I want to text you so badly today, I need you today. But I resist the impulse because I already know the outcome. 

It’s the baby in me, says my psychologist, is the child that never got love that wants you, not me. And that is okay because even though this kid is NOT me, it is part of myself and I welcome it. I want to nurture it but I don’t know how to YET. I want to give her the love that she never got from her mother, the attention, the care, the cuddles, the presence... I want this child to have everything I never had... I want to be loved, I want to feel safe, I want to be happy.

Looking at it, my relationship with you was very similar to the one with my mother. Always trying to keep you happy, always trying to take care of you, always avoiding making you angry but getting you angry anyway because nothing of what I did was ever enough. And staying there when you mistreated me, act like everything was okay even though you never apologised for anything you did. It was always my fault because I’m too sensitive, because I’m too jealous, because I do ‘stupid’ stuff. 

But what about you realise that you were rude to me? How about you realise your actions is what made me jealous? What if you open your eyes? and see that we are not culturally equal or even as persons, so definitely we are going to do things differently. This does NOT mean that I’m weird or wrong, it just means that we are different. 

#toxic #love #relationship #what if #therapyoutcome #inner child #happy #mistreatment #different

[robyn-hunt]

INDIFFERENCE

I shouldn’t, but I did anyways. I texted you, and once again, your indifference shattered the little pieces of my heart that I’ve been trying to put back together these past 4 days... 

I’m resilient as FUCK, I keep taking your hits like a professional boxer, one after the other, but unlike them, I don’t fight back. 

Why do I do this to myself? I wonder every day... Why can’t I move on? How long is this going to last hurt? Right now it seems like it will never go away but I need to remember that “This too shall pass”. STOP resisting it, let it GO... He is not coming back, and that’s it. 

#heartbreak #love #toxic #let go #self love #light at the end of the tunnel #strong #resilient #fighter