#[ and too lazy to even read the books. the show literally reads like a fanfiction ] | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vole-mon-amour · 2 years

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IWTV, 1x02.

I love how he gives the man the drink, then takes/catches it right back as gracefully. Chef's kiss.

The dude is so chill at moments. If I didn't know better, I'd say he's great. Very entertaining, this comedy.

He's a walking and talking aesthetic.

In the book I feel for Louis (but mostly for Claudia, though, the rest can choke), but in the show it's the opposite for me. I want to love Lestat. God, I love broken, often abused bastards. They don't need to be fixed (if they don't want it), but need to be loved.

A sudden thought: maybe I want to love this Lestat (and want him to be Louis tbh) bc he looks so much like Pitt's Louis. That's why it's so unsettling to me. He would nail that character, too.

Lmao. He still was his master in the books & they both were white. It was abuse at it is.

I keep asking myself if I would believe if such book was actually to exist & I'm still not sure. So, like... a warning? Some would read it, think about some dude imagining things & move on with their life.

I fucking LOVE hands. The show is so dark & I'm so lazy to open photoshop and fix it to enjoy it properly. Just... HANDS. Fingers. Rings. He, him too but yeah.

Watching all of this and still facing the same problem I was facing as I saw people screaming about the show. I can't fully get used to Jacob as Louis. They should've probably given him a different name. Use Lestat, but create another family for this 'Louis' (bc that's basically what they did. If I'm correct, even Louis' brother dies on doorsteps in the book? And I always thought it must have been Lestat. Either way, I don't think Louis' brother walked off the roof like in the show.)

I hate saying this 'cause it makes me sound like I'm a part of the problem, but: Louis looks different in the book (and it was clear he was white). He earns money by doing different things (even though, as I write, I realise that giving him whores instead of slaves kind of makes sense. They're just another kind of slaves.) Louis in the book dies in a different way (and Lestat definitely wasn't 'courting' him, he straight up decided to take Louis and enjoyed that very much).

I understand that this is a modern version. I get it. But a) my heart still lies with Claudia and what she had felt for Louis & what Louis felt for her b) I still long for good Louis 'cause I enjoy him a bit more that I enjoy Lestat (I don't think I even enjoy him, he's an ass in the book) & Pitt's Louis wasn't it. Sam looks the part, so my love kind of switches to that side. It's important to me how characters look, always has been. Even in fanfiction, if it stands against everything the character stands for, like tattoos and idk, veganism, and then in some AU a character is suddenly a meat eater and is covered in tattoos? I literally created an OC in my Uncharted 4 AU so I wouldn't change the entire personality of a character that already exist and could've had that role.

Say, Draco Malfoy had black hair out of nowhere. Harry Potter was a ginger. Sirius Black suddenly became fifty when he was thirty (lol lol lol). Ellie from TLOU was played by a girl that looks NOTHING like her (I'm still bitter about that). It's important details. I care about that.

So while I enjoy the gay part (that is finally gay enough), I just don't see Louis LOUIS in Jacob. And I suspect same will happen to me with Claudia. Her I love very much & I'm sure they fucked that one up completely. Sam, though? Beautiful.

Lestat being disgusted with Louis? Slay, king.

What I also realised about this 'Louis': he whines less. It's a drama in the book (that I sometimes get tired of, I admit). In the show? It is a comedy. They make it funny on purpose.

Oh, you're suddenly a noble prince, aren't you. x)

I honestly have suuuch mixed feelings about them making it look like love. Oh, it was so pure, so genuine, and they were in love. Maybe that's the book talks in me bc it was never stated explicitly about Lestat being in love (even though the yearning was obvious). But it wasn't all pure, "How can I say no to you?" He was probably lonely and bored when he made Louis a vampire. They fought so much, they were annoyed at each other. I see some glimpses of it here, but I see how it tries to look more like a love story. And that gets to me.

I like how they portray that Louis was getting closer with Lestat and distant from his own family. In the book it's mostly far away. The family is there, but Louis doesn't interact with them much. And Lestat gives him the right idea, that he has to distant himself from them. They're going to grow old and die. He is not. He needs to let them live their own lives.

This IS a comedy.

Stop hiring actors that can't speak the language clearly. I had to rewind and listen closely & I still don't understand what his first word is. Russian is my native language, for god's sake. It's always the subtitles that announce that they speak Russian, not me catching it.

Lmao. If it was the movie or the book, I'd say he's being mean. This, however? He makes it sound true and not mean at all.

Lmaooo. He is, somehow, relatable. IDK what that says about me and my character development since 2018, when I watched IWTV (1994) last. Gotta rewatch it, I guess.

HANDS [2]

His eyes full of tears, awww. For real though, I can't imagine how irritating the contacts were.

Predatory species. <3 Did the singer deserve to die for singing badly? No. Do I still enjoy Lestat being a hungry and angry meow meow? Yes. He can have a little treat. Though it's a shame that he decided to have Claudia for Louis as a treat, too. My baby girl deserved so much better.

This is such a huge leap from "just been created". I lost the track of when we went there.

He. Him. My goodness.

There he is. Lestat as he should be.

I have no idea how this works, but I disliked him in the book. This moment, though? I felt like it was... right? And more right in the book than here? It was fitting in the book. Right words, wrong timing here, I think. But yes, very Lestat.

Of course he did, this manipulative bastard. His me all his toxicity, I'm longing to see him in all his beauty. The book had it way more from the very beginning Lestat turned him into a vampire.

And I thought I caught myself thinking during the episode: if the interview was THAT long, I'd probably be bored out of my mind. It's a LOT.

#natiswatching #iwtv 2022

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wowsoboring · 3 years

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Deconstructing Baseless Harry Potter Arguments#2 (i) : Harmione Edition

Obviously I once again do not mean to target all Harmione shippers. I know quite a few who're very good human beings and tolerant and accepting above all. However these aren't. In this case, you might sense quite a bit of levelheadedness in the beginning, however you must not be fooled as it goes south and takes a nasty turn very quickly. Don't get your hopes up, this is some of the worst shit I've ever seen, especially the way in which it progresses through its course. Naturally, for this post I have picked my own style of writing which will match that of those redditors. Reddit is the perfect breeding ground for all these weird cults, honestly. I shall be resorting to a formal language and style of conversation, very much like a debater would to sound as pretentious as these do. These posts are found on the instagram handle toxicharmonyshippers who gather such toxic musings and sayings for Harmione shippers while respecting the ones that are nice.

Oh yes, let's use words like 'vehemently' to sound smart, why not? Of course, this little tidbit of the highly stupendous post seems more or less civil at the start. They also have the common decency to say "some Romione shippers" rather than generalizing all of us. Very nice of you, how very saint like. Let's wait till they drop the act and show us their true colors. Harkening back to the argument, I have but one question for you, "where do you find these people?". Where's the proof? Who are these radical Romione shippers who worship Ron and dislike Hermione? I haven't seen any such shippers and I am surrounded by Romione shippers on tumblr, instagram and fan fiction sites as well and haven't met the people you speak of. Some point out her flaws, yes, but no one hates her or dislikes her that much. I have seen two or three Romione shippers across hundreds and thousands who're skeptical of Hermione's perfection. Skeptical. Not hating, disliking, or anything. Of course, unlike this person, I have evidence: find these pi charts for your referral (clickable): https://imgur.com/a/QfPnQbB

you can, through these, see the amount of Hermione bashing across Harry Potter fanfiction and you can see that even in Romione fanfiction there's more Ron bashing. Hermione-bashing is a non-issue. That's what it is. Regarding the "nagging" statement, where's the lie in that? "Annoying" is somewhat subjective, I personally don't find her annoying at all. Who are these people and how often do you find them? "Mary Sue" is only reserved for Movie!Hermione. I have only seen book fans call her that. No one has ever called Book!Hermione Mary Sue. The movie does paint her as a flawless, all-rounder who's also drop-dead gorgeous. Only things she's bad at are flying and divination, all of which she denounces as useless, even though flying is like biking for wizards, divination, sure, not that important. with a teacher like Trelawney, even I would denounce it as hokum.

Remember what I said about waiting for them to show us their true colors, well here they are. Bask in the glory of their senseless arguments. Why, I am from reddit, heck I have 25 thousand karma points on there, I just left because it was too stupid for me but I can argue like them very well. And in this case I would like to say that these people are under the impression that Ron is just there in the story for the sake of existence. And he doesn't work hard. That argument is of course, wrong. Because Ron (in no particular order):

1) fights a troll when he's 11

2) is willing to sacrifice himself when he's 11

3) stands up for his friends

4) makes sure Harry feels like he belongs in the family

5) worries about Harry and rescues him from literal jail

6) stands up against Draco rather than by-standing and enabling his behavior

7) tries his level best to make sure Norbert the dragon is in safe hands and carries it out, albeit not in perfection

8) is with Harry every step of the way in his confronting the basilisk

9) sends Harry and Hermione long letters and calls them often to check up on them

10) stands up on a bitten leg to defend his best friend

11) always apologizes for any of his mistakes and is forgiving when others wrong him

12) works his way to join the Quidditch team unlike Draco who most certainly bought his way in

13) destroys at least 2 horcruxes

14) finds out how to defeat a horcrux

15) has an excellent enough memory and observation to notice Harry speaking parseltongue and also using it to his benefit which proves he's resourceful

now since I have 8 more such pictures to rebut and I do have a life, I will stop. These aren't even a twelfth of the remarkable things Ron has done though, so rest assured.

oh wait what did you say about him just existing and not working for anything? If I recall correctly, he did just as well as Harry did in school and didn't score well only in subjects he didn't care about. Which is true for most people except for Hermione who has an eidetic memory which not everyone has, understandably. Rote memorization is not the best way to get by in life, by the way.

what are the "so many reasons" behind why Harry is the best fit for Hermione? Kindly share so I can rebut those too, I'm rather free nowadays, my finals have been cancelled. You say there are so many reasons but don't even give one, yet you want me to take you seriously. I'm afraid that's impossible.

Romione shipper here, i don't dislike Hermione. I haven't met or seen many people in the book!romione fandom who dislike Hermione (except for Movie!Hermione). The question of someone you like ending up with someone you dislike doesn't particularly make sense. In Friends, Chandler ends up with Monica: now I'm not the biggest Monica fan (I don't hate her but I don't like her very much either) but they are my favorite couple because they make sense. It's about compatibility and character traits, not liking or disliking because that's just a set-up for a ghastly invitation for people to pair up hideousness. "Oh yeah, I like Harry and I also like Hagrid, they should be together. I mean it would be very very disgusting but that's my logic, now, you can't fight it. "- that's how you sound. Please read what you write. Your logic is just...abysmal. That's all I can say without breaking my resolve and berating you with colorful profanities.

This is without the doubt, the easiest one to rebut. It's a delight to see such terrible arguments at my disposal. Come on, dear Harmione shippers, write something that makes me question my choices, not things that make me scoff in disbelief.

In this case, you're essentially providing us with theories. Unproved theories and speculation of what you believe because you'd say anything you like. Where's the proof of your theory, though? Where is that crazy radical Romione shipper who does this? Kindly show me these people. Oh yes, you wanna say we objectify Hermione and disrespect her and view her as a prize. This aches me, that you believe this. No one has ever insinuated this, ever, in the history of anything. What is this winner-loser theory? How do you round off Harry Potter to "an alpha-male ends up with lead-lady" trope and still say you're a fan of the series? Harry Potter doesn't fit in with that format. Ron, Hermione and Harry are co-heroes. Similar to how there's no main character in Friends or the Heroes of Olympus series or the Avengers. We're not living in the 80s anymore. Hermione will be a hero, invariably whether she ends up with Harry, Ron or no one. She ends up with Ron and that's it. Talking about her like this doesn't make you sound any better either. Now you're calling me a misogynist because I don't support the ship of two people who describe themselves as siblings. That's very mature of you. Well here's the thing- I'm not a misogynist. It's as simple as that. I believe that women are capable of anything and everything. I believe Hermione is an amazing person and she is a hero and a different person. I believe the series would be impossible without her. I believe she is no one's prize. There's no requirement of a prize. I just think, similar to canon and the truth and her romantic interest, she will have a great relationship with Ron. There's nothing complex or deep about it, really. No personal weird-thing, no psychological complex, no internalized misogyny. There's nothing deeper than what I said. I am not sexist. I am a feminist. I am all for women empowerment. I love women with the fabric of my being. I love Hermione. I think she's amazing. You only become sexist when you ship people with unstable power dynamics, a bully-victim relation or something of the sort. Neither Romione, nor Harmione are sexist. Heck if you paired Neville with Hermione you wouldn't be sexist. And I hate talking about this so much, I can't even tell you. This talk does make it sound like I treat Hermione like an object and I assure you I respect her and I normally won't talk like this unless someone just outright calls me sexist for something that's not sexist. And this is that situation.

in the case of Romione, no one is too good for anyone. Both are amazing people who're heroes and have done amazing work. That's all I have to say. There's no league, they are romantically interested in each other. I have no intention on sounding lame, but, in love there is no league. As long as you're not putting in any effort and are extremely lazy and leech off of your partner, there is no such concept and no, Hermione is not "too good" for him. Unless of course you're talking about movie Hermione, who is too good for anyone.

5) (halftime!)

oh yes they try to pull this off and wonder why we hate them. Classic. This person likes to sound british, so let's switch up our language, yeah? At least then I won't be out of my element. Let me correct ya, Ron at his best is an amazing, loyal, friendly, brave, strategic hero. There you have it. Ron and 'git' can't be used in the same sentence. Now if you talk about Ron's achievements, I re-iterate you to point two. If it's too much work, here:

1) fights a troll when he's 11

2) is willing to sacrifice himself when he's 11

3) stands up for his friends

4) makes sure Harry feels like he belongs in the family

5) worries about Harry and rescues him from literal jail

6) stands up against Draco rather than by-standing and enabling his behavior

7) tries his level best to make sure Norbert the dragon is in safe hands and carries it out, albeit not in perfection

8) is with Harry every step of the way in his confronting the basilisk

9) sends Harry and Hermione long letters and calls them often to check up on them

10) stands up on a bitten leg to defend his best friend

11) always apologizes for any of his mistakes and is forgiving when others wrong him

12) works his way to join the Quidditch team unlike Draco who most certainly bought his way in

13) destroys at least 2 horcruxes

14) finds out how to defeat a horcrux

15) has an excellent enough memory and observation to notice Harry speaking parseltongue and also using it to his benefit which proves he's resourceful

hey, see, I like Ron and I took the time to copy-paste this instead of asking you to scroll up. And I'm a lot of bad things but I am not lazy. I stick to my deadlines like Hermione. I start my homework in library class and continue it during phys ed the day its given. And I am not exaggerating. Bloody hell, I wish I was. I'm the ceo of deadlines, mate, don't tempt me! So you can see that Ron is much more than just a "nice bloke". And being a "nice bloke" isn't a bad thing either. He's all the things I said: intuitive, strategic, helpful, loyal and on top of that he's also a nice person. Yes, I do see a bit of myself in Ron. I do. I see the insecure side. I waste my time hating myself and criticizing myself and undermining myself, telling me I'm no good. But Ron overcomes that. He inspires me to appreciate myself. Is that a bad thing? Are you going to shame me for having a low self-esteem? Do you want to worsen my low self-esteem and make me feel more like shit?

Now the person who replied to your comment saying, "he isn't a nice bloke most of time.", he is. He is not being nice twice in a span of 7 years. How often do you act rudely or with jealousy? Wasn't Harry yelling at everyone in caps lock in OOTP. Now I don't condemn him for that because he's a fucking hormonal teenager like me and that would make me a hypocrite, but by your logic why don't you condemn him? Or why not condemn Hermione for saying "I only date good Quidditch players" and shoving canaries at Ron's face because someone else kissed him, while she kept using Krum and Cormac to make him jealous. She wasn't being a nice girl, then, was she? Now, once again, i don't dislike her or hold that against her because guess what, mate, I'm a hormonal teenage girl who gets jealous most of the time and would probably react in a similar fashion in the spur of the moment (Not defending her actions here, just putting myself in her shoes.) In short, Ron is a nice bloke MOST OF THE TIME.

It would be misogynistic to think that. The thing is, NO ONE DOES my dear friend! My dear daft friend. I have never heard anyone say that! why are you so hell-bent on portraying us as misogynists when no one ever says that? Stop assuming. Just stop. You are crossing a limit here, aren't you? Yes you are. You cannot say these sort of things. We never said that or believed that, no one ever said this to be a reason to ship Romione. God what is wrong with you? Literally, stop fucking ASSUMING god damn it! Do you want me to assume things about Harmione shippers? Do you want me to go there? Because I will go there! I will go there the moment you tell me to. Just challenge me.

Ron is not a perfect best boi , the reason why so many of us like him is that he's imperfect and tries to become better through the course of time. You are once again assuming and I am once again asking you to stop.

Ron might be an ordinary wizard. He might be poor, sure, but he's a pure-blood and won't face much if he chose not to fight. But he did. He fought. Now I identify with Ron's attitude a fair bit, but I am also likely to spend my day in a library without noticing. People aren't one dimensional. Stop trying to act like you're a psychologist, i know you're not. I don't even think Hermione's overbearing at all! You just insulted someone you're a big fan of. Jesus.

Both Hermione and Ron are strategic, jealous, passionate, feisty, argumentative, intellectual...

that's like 6 similarities. They aren't polar opposites in the slightest. Their differences are just: workaholic, not workaholic. Nerd, not a nerd. Like that's fucking it, man!

being relaxed doesn't make you less independent or driven. A relaxed and levelheaded Hermione will think through things, not be impulsive, not panic etc. She doesn't need Ron. I don't understand your obsession with acting like we ever insinuated that. Then she doesn't need Harry either lol. Stop shipping her with Harry, then or like shut the fuck up. Being a bit relaxed won't stop her or anyone from hitting great strides. Just don't get relaxed to the point you're lazy and casual about everything, that's it.

What do you mean? Ron is balanced. He does finish his work on time. And even if he does procrastinate, she could also help him not and be more driven. Of course, this is an open invitation for you to call me a sexist bitch because I said that she could help him and now you'll think her goal is to help him become better yada yada yada. Fuck off. Defeating the horcrux taught him enough. He respected her. He remembered about the elves when she didn't. He begged to be tortured instead of her. He wouldn't need it because school work and jobs are different and the same person might perceive those differently. Calmness and relaxation doesn't hinder your potential. Not caring and laziness does. You can't function if you work and are stressed 24/7 with zero breaks. Period.

10)

No i do not want (nor does anyone want) Hermione to become Ron. Being slightly calmer doesn't change up your personality. I'm sure many people dislike those sort of fanfics without a doubt. I hate OOC and I don't want Hermione to lose her intellect with Ron because that makes no sense. Ron himself is intellectual and loves arguing with her. They'd boost each other, more like it.

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okay thats it i am exhausted as fuck. thanks for reading, i appreciate it. notes and reblogs are appreciated, this takes work.

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mooifyourecows · 3 years

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hey moo! u r actually my go to person to hate on jkr- so i personally would rather see her on a missing person poster than a live action harry potter show poster but! what are your thoughts on the live action harry potter show coming out!

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

Every new Harry Potter thing is putting more money in JKR's pocket. Which sucks. The only thing she deserves in her pocket is an angry hornet nest.

And ill be real honest with you.

I don't really care about Harry Potter that much. I read a couple of the books and I watched all the movies. I lived through the hype of the movies coming out one by one and I enjoyed running off to the theater to see them but I don't have any deep feelings for it outside of my absolute adoration of Daniel Radcliffe. But who needs to support Dan Radcliffe through Harry P when Swiss Army Man and Guns Akimbo exist???????????

Honestly I just don't think its THAT good. And my hatred for JKR and all the realizations of how she incorporated her prejudices into the books have made me care for it even less. And the spin off or prequel or whatever? Literally do not care and did not even know it existed until Johnny Depp was getting fired off of it. A bad move if anybody wanted me to ever consider thinking about it a second time.

I also have this problem where once something overstays its welcome, I just get annoyed. Like... why are they still making Star Wars movies? Why are there more Dragon Ball episodes???? Why the fuck is WandaVision a thing and can I spit on whoever is still beating these ultra dead horses?

Please let things end. PLEASE let things end.

I would much rather see writers and studios putting their energy into making something NEW than see these looooong and drawn out continuations of things that haVE ENDED PLEASE GOD JUST LET SOMETHING END AND STAY ENDED PLEASE.

I think that constantly rebooting and continuing things is lazy. Not to say that the stories themselves aren't good. Hell, they might be. I dunno. I never waste time watching/reading them. But I think its relying too heavily on the name and the already existing fans.

And UHM thats FANFICTION'S JOB.

This shit is just fanfiction at this point. But its taken more seriously than fanfiction. People are literally buying the rights to sell their hyped up fanfic to millions of people and those people just believe its new, original content and not ewie stupid grosso fanfiction but ITS FANFICTION!

And you know me. I LOVE fanfiction. Obviously. I am not throwing shade at the fact that its fanfiction. I'm throwing shade at the fact that its so dishonest and money grubbing. I'm angry that people that don't read fanfic and think that its bad all use 50 Shades of Grey and After as representations of fanfic in order to mock it and consider it NOT GOOD writing but then go rabid over getting Mandalorian episodes like BRO thats fanfic. I dont care how attached to the original or approved by George Lucas it is.

Its fanfic dressed up as "REAL" writing and it just further reinforces people's bad attitudes about the fanfic we over here producing.

And its all about money. Money money money. Don't get me wrong, I would love to have an entire room filled with gold coins that I can swim around in like Scrooge McDuck, but these people already have that from the original work they did. JKR already had a stupid amount of money before the movies came out and George Lucas already had a stupid amount of money before the prequels were released.

And yet they keep going. They're never satisfied. And its not just them. Their studios and managers and producers just keep greasing up their assholes for more and more and more and good god.

They are willing to bastardize a good thing for the sake of money and its so sad.

Its so sad that Nickelodeon is ignoring a dead man's wishes and making a spin-off of SpongeBob that looks like literal garbage and lacks every bit of whimsy and fun of Stephen Hillenburg's original vision.

Its depressing. And the only reason for it is more money.

NOW. I know I kinda went off there but... ya know me. Can't keep my opinions to myself 😋

So theres gonna be a new Harry P show on HBO Max.

HBO Max.

I mean... if you watch it, be prepared for some sexual content or graphic violence. That's the next step in the bastardization process, I presume. Making it "gritty" so adults will swarm to it.

I dunno. Overall, I'm uninterested

Sorry if my answer is real cynical, Babe lmao but I just have OPINIONS about this type of thing. As a creator, the thought of something that I poured my love and passion into being drawn out and used as a money making monster for a bunch of chumps (probably white men) just really makes me uncomfortable

But ayyy that'll never happen so we good 👍

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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alirhi · 3 years

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I can't believe I'm doing this lol...

I might throw up. I almost never post the stuff I write just for me. I'll occasionally send a funny chunk to a friend or whatever, but not open myself up to public scrutiny. I'm aware I've said all this before lol but bear with me, okay?

It's lazy writing (as is... literally all of my fanfiction XD) but I feel like it's coming out fairly decent for what it is, so I thought I'd share a little bit. If you hate it or aren't interested, just ignore it, 'kay? if for some reason you don't hate it, lmk. there's more

Pairing: Sebastian Stan/author (hey, can't say you weren't warned. yes, it's self-insert) Warnings: 18+. I will always mark my writing 18+ even if it never gets explicit. Adult themes, smut is mentioned (but no, not explicit), Seb does something dumb and OOC for him but it served my purpose so whatever XD

After arriving in Manhattan - and eventually finding a place to park; fuck, she hated New York! - she'd ducked into a Starbucks to collect herself and psych herself up a bit. Instead, she was psyching herself out. This was the dumbest, craziest idea she'd ever had, in a thirty-plus-year string of dumb and crazy ideas. This was never going to work. She was never even going to find him! There were millions of people crammed into this putrid petri dish of humanity. There was absolutely no chance she would-

For fuck's sake, was that really him?! Ever vigilant as a lone woman in unfamiliar surroundings, she'd taken a seat in the far corner of the shop, facing the front door. She wasn't looking for anyone in particular, not in here; she was simply making damn sure no one could come up behind her. Still, her position gave her a perfect view of most of the room, and especially the door. Her eyes widened as she watched a very familiar figure in a blue baseball cap enter and head for the counter.

As he neared, she got a clear look at his handsome face, and her heart felt like it suddenly stopped. Yep. That was him. Sebastian fucking Stan had just walked into this random-ass Starbucks she'd only come into to get out of the overwhelming bustle and noise of the city so she could think. She knew he lived somewhere in Manhattan, but wasn't Manhattan rather...large? It was certainly daunting to drive through; all of NYC was.

"Hey."

She flinched, blinking rapidly as she realized that not only had she been staring, but her eyes had dried out. "Hi."

Sebastian smiled, glanced around the busy shop, and asked somewhat tentatively, "Mind if I join you? Just til my coffee's ready."

Like she would say 'no' to anything this man asked of her! With a soft smile she hoped looked less nervous than she felt, she moved her bag off the other chair and gestured. "Of course. And you don't have to leave right away, unless you have somewhere to be. I don't bite." Jesus, that was smoother than she'd ever thought herself capable of! Where the fuck had that come from?!

His smile widened as he sat down, sharp blue eyes never leaving her face. She hoped she wasn't blushing. "Thanks. I don't actually have anywhere to be; I just got home."

"How was LA?" At his look of surprise, she flashed him a wry smile. "I can't just sit here and pretend not to know who you are. It feels creepy and manipulative."

Laughing and making her feel like her heart would burst with joy, Sebastian shrugged and nodded. "I appreciate that. And I really appreciate you treating me like a normal person."

"If you were a normal person," she teased, "I'd have told you to fuck off. I don't trust attractive men; they're usually narcissistic douche bags."

"I can't tell if you're calling me ugly or a douche bag."

She laughed, grateful for the playful glint in his eyes that showed her he wasn't actually offended. "Neither! I'm just saying, if I hadn't seen clips of you on youtube being all awkward and sweet, I'd be afraid to let you near me. You're way too gorgeous." With a wink that made him laugh, she added, "You're in your own separate category."

"So that's how you categorize all the men of the world?" He grinned, nudging her foot with his own. "Ugly, jerks, or awkward?"

"It's actually even more general than that. In my experience all humans are either ugly inside or ugly outside." Smile softening from mocking to a sort of wistful fondness, she told him, "From what you've shown the world, you're neither. Makes me wonder if you're even human sometimes."

"You caught me." Sebastian laughed again, joking even as he stood to get his coffee, "I'm an alien."

"So that's why you're so in love with space! Homesick?"

"Yeah, I guess so!" She loved how freely he laughed, and when he invited her to leave the crowded café and go for a walk with him, she readily agreed. "So what's your deep, dark secret?"

She blinked, staring at him. "What do you mean?"

His mischievous grin made her heart race and heat pool somewhere she didn't want to be thinking about with him standing right next to her. "You torture puppies, or are you an alien?"

He was calling her beautiful. The second she got the joke, she could feel her face turning bright red and she giggled, hastily looking away. "I definitely don't torture puppies."

"So you're an alien."

She could feel him looming over her as they both stopped and moved over to let other pedestrians move around them. Though she was afraid to, she forced herself to look up and was immediately entranced by those captivating blue eyes. "Maybe I'm a fairy."

"You're certainly pretty enough to be."

"Fucking hell, Sebastian, if you get any closer to me I will not be held responsible for what I do to you." She smirked, trying to lighten the mood and take the charge out of the air between them before she made too much of an ass out of herself. "Even with the coffee breath."

He laughed, but the tension didn't dissipate. If anything, the charge and the heat between them only increased. "Maybe you should put something else in my mouth, then."

Damn, this man could flirt! She accidentally knocked the hat off his head as she got a grip on that luscious dark hair and tugged him closer; he didn't seem to notice. He set his coffee down on a nearby window ledge. One hand cupping her jaw and the other grabbing her ass, he yanked her tight against him and thoroughly plundered her mouth with that long tongue she'd spent months fantasizing about. He did taste like coffee, which was a little off-putting - she'd bought a bottle of water in Starbucks; she hated coffee - but she didn't even care. The most perfect man in the universe was holding her tight and kissing her breathless, and she wasn't about to let anything ruin this moment.

Someone else ruined the moment when they cleared their throat. When she saw she had their attention, the fidgeting girl held Sebastian's cap out to him in a slightly shaking hand. "Sorry... Is this your hat?"

Finally realizing they were out in public in broad daylight, the pair sprang apart with awkward chuckles. Sebastian thanked the girl and crammed the fallen hat back onto his head, took a selfie with her when he realized she knew who he was, and sent her on her way. "That moment's gonna be all over the internet."

A nervous giggle bubbled up from her chest, somehow making it past where her pounding heart was lodged in her throat. "Hopefully just the selfie." His cynical scoff caught her off guard and she flinched, glancing around. "I hate that paparazzi shit. No one has any right to be taking pictures of you that you don't consent to and pose for, just like no one should be spreading details about you or your life that you didn't make public, yourself."

The look he gave her then was strange; almost as if he was calculating, or trying to read her. Unsure what that was all about, she simply looked right back at him, being as open as she could. Apparently reaching a decision, he told her softly, "I live like two blocks away."

That seemed random to her. She shrugged, offering him a slightly perplexed smile. "Okay...? That explains why you go to that Starbucks, I guess."

Sebastian laughed and hooked his arm around her waist, tugging her down the sidewalk. "You're adorable. And I'm trusting your adorable ass not to tell anyone."

...Oh. Eyes so wide they hurt, she stared up at him as he guided her down the street. He was taking her back to his place?! The more logical part of her brain was flabbergasted by the idea of this man just casually bringing a total stranger home, while the rest of her was just eager to get him behind closed doors and tear his clothes off. Obviously, the primitive, horny part of her brain won by a landslide, and she didn't say a word.

She noticed that Sebastian was chugging his iced coffee as they walked, and had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. He was going to have to pee so bad when they got to his apartment. Plus, she'd seen him hyped up on caffeine; it was hilarious.

"Make yourself comfortable," he told her as he closed the door behind them, already making a hasty beeline through the place. "I'll be right back."

Yup. She snickered as she settled on the edge of the couch. Straight to the bathroom. She tried not to fidget as she glanced around, but his apartment was just so sterile. Aside from the books on his desk, it didn't even look like anyone lived here, really. The blank white walls hurt her eyes and were starting to set off her anxiety; she dropped her gaze to the sofa and felt the tension ooze out of her muscles as her overactive brain took in the soothing dark gray color of it and slowly relaxed. At least he had a thing for dark furniture.

"You look so rigid all of a sudden."

She shrugged, glancing up at him. "I don't know what I'm doing here. I mean, I think I know why you brought me here, but..."

Oh gods, and there was that soft, kind smile she'd only ever seen in pictures. It, like the rest of him, was so much more beautiful in person. "Having second thoughts?"

More like first thoughts. "Aren't you? You don't know me; literally the only thing you know about me is that I know you're famous."

"And that you're a cynical introvert," he told her with a grin, settling on the couch beside her. "And that you're respectful of boundaries. That all seemed like a pretty good start to me. Hey-" He nudged her, making her smile. "Alien to fairy, I didn't bring you here to push you into anything. Pretty sure that would push me right into the douche bag category."

Giggling a little, she shook her head. "Nope. I'm too big a fan to ever think that about you. You can do no wrong in my eyes, alien."

"Hey, even aliens can make mistakes or do some fucked up shit. I mean, have you seen Independence Day?"

She laughed outright at that, poking his side. "Fair enough. But I somehow doubt that you're planning a genocide, so..."

"Nope." He shook his head, still grinning impishly. "No genocide on my calendar. Just hanging out with this beautiful, really cool fairy I met at a Starbucks today. Maybe satisfying her every carnal desire before she leaves, if she's up for it... Maybe just talking for a while or watching a movie. We'll see."

She could feel her face heating up again, but when Sebastian leaned in for a kiss, she eagerly let him. That was when it finally dawned on her that his mad dash for the bathroom had actually been to brush his teeth. He'd taken her coffee breath joke to heart and sucked his drink down so he could kiss her with minty fresh breath. Gods, he was so sweet it hurt!

That settled it in her mind; anxiety be damned. If he wanted it, there was no way this man wasn't getting laid. How many men would go this far out of their way to make a total stranger more comfortable when he shoved his tongue down her throat?

"What do you want," he whispered against her lips, stroking her hair, "my pretty red fairy?"

"All of it." She pulled him back with her as she stretched out on the couch, biting her lip when he automatically settled between her long legs. "Whatever you're willing to give."

"Tap out any time," he assured her as he reached under her dress, fingers dancing feather-light up her thigh. "I promise I won't be a dick about it."

"Same for you, gorgeous." With a slightly evil smirk, she rolled them over and straddled him, yanking her dress up and off. "I've been told I can be a little intense."

She squeaked before she could stop herself when he yanked her down with one strong hand on her back and drew a nipple into his mouth. She felt his tongue swirling against her flesh and shuddered, growing wetter by the second.

"I can handle it, princess." And then he was surging upright, and then to his feet, never releasing her from his grip. With her still clinging to him like a barnacle in nothing but her panties, he kissed her again and started heading toward the stairs. "But we're not fucking on my couch when there's a perfectly good bed right up there in the loft."

"Probably wise," she agreed with a giggle, tangling her fingers in his hair. "I'm already soaked. Wouldn't wanna ruin the infamous couch."

Sebastian groaned, but he was grinning. "Oh, don't bring him up now, girl!"

"Your couch is a dude?" She could tell he knew she was joking, but the glint in his eyes promised retribution if she didn't drop it... And then he dropped her like a sack of potatoes onto his bed, and she shrieked, startled.

From there, the day passed by in a blur. They cuddled and talked for hours, they paused once or twice for food, and, of course, they fucked like rabbits. She quickly learned that there was nothing Sebastian wasn't fucking amazing at. Typically, she was the quiet type in bed, but there were moments this talented bastard had her nearly screaming. The things this man could do with that tongue alone...!

But the moments she cherished were the quiet ones. When one or both of them needed a break and they would just lie there in each other's arms, and she could hear his pounding heart and knew he could feel hers. Once their breathing became less labored, they would begin to speak; voices low, as if afraid to shatter the silence and bring the outside world crashing down on them. They talked about everything and nothing, sharing past hurts never forgotten, and secret desires, dreams they were afraid to chase or simply knew were forever out of their reach. By the time night fell, she'd lost count of how many times one or both of them had broken and dissolved into tears in the other's embrace.

"You're so easy to talk to," he murmured once, the teary smile she couldn't see in the dark audible in his soft voice. "I know it's dumb, but I feel like I can trust you."

"You can," she was quick to assure him, kissing his jaw and loving the way his stubble rasped against her skin. "Nothing leaves this space, Sebastian. Anything you tell me stays right here. I promise."

He flinched then, as if suddenly remembering something, and nearly dislodged her. She settled herself more comfortably on his chest and waited. "You still haven't told me your name." They both laughed at that, and she felt a hot blush creeping up her face. Thank the gods it was dark. "I've just been calling you random pet names all day."

"Princess and Kitten were my favorites," she told him with a grin, licking his nipple. "But if you must know... My name is Ali."

"Ali." The way he said her name made her shiver, and then he was on her again and her last semi-coherent thought was holy shit, does this man ever run out of energy? Not that she was complaining.

In the end, they both fell asleep before she could even think about the long drive home ahead of her, much less the astronomical parking fee she'd be facing... or the reason she had actually come to New York in the first place.

#sebastian stan #fanfiction #self-insert #random #i legit don't know why i'm posting this

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oneweekoneband · 3 years

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I’m slightly nauseous already with knowing I’m going to say this, but what does “self-awareness” even mean? In modern parlance, as a descriptive phrase, as a comment on art? I’m asking in earnest, like, I’ve been Googling lately, which for me is basically on par with doctoral study in terms of academic rigor. The self is king, anyway, tyrant, so where is the line of distinction between material that intentionally is nodding at some truth about the artist’s life and what’s just, like, all the rest of the regular navel-gazing bullshit. I mean, I’m all self, I am guilty here. I can’t get it out of my poems or even make it more quiet. This is the tenth time I’ve invoked “I” in the space of six sentences. Processing art has always necessitated a certain amount of grappling with the creator, but the busywork of it lately grows more and more tedious. Joy drains out of my body parsing marks left behind not just in stylistic tendencies and themes, but in literal, intentional tags like graffiti on a water tower. This feels an age old and moth-holed complaint, dull, and I am no historian, or really a serious thinker of any kind. I’ve now complained at some length about self-referential art, but didn’t I love how Martin Scorsese nodded to the famous Goodfellas Copacabana tracking shot with the opening frames of last year’s The Irishman? Didn’t I find that terribly fun and sort of sweet? So there’s distinctions. I’m only saying I don’t know with certainty what they even are. I’m unreliable, and someone smarter than me has likely already solved my quandary about why self-knowledge often transforms into overly precious self-reflexivity in such a way that the knowledge is diminished and obscured, leaving only cutesy Easter eggs behind. Postmodernism has birthed a moralizing culture where art exists to be termed either “self-aware Good” or “self-aware Bad”. Self-referentiality in media is so commonplace, so much the standard, that what was once credited as metatextual inventiveness often feels lazy now. In 1996, Scream was revitalizing a genre. Today, two thirds of all horror movies spend half their running time making sure that you know that they know they’re a horror movie, which is fine, I guess, except sometimes you just wanna watch someone get butchered with an axe in peace.

This is all to say that in 2020 Taylor Swift looked long and hard upon her image in the reflecting pool of her heart and has written yet another song about Gone Girl.

“mirrorball” is a very good piece of Gone Girl —feels insane to tell anyone reading a post on a blog what Gone Girl is but, you know, the extremely popular 2012 novel about a woman who pretends to have been murdered and frames her husband for it, and subsequently the 2014 film adaption where you kinda see Ben Affleck’s dick for a second—fanfiction. It would be a fine song, a good song, really, even if it weren’t that, if it were just something normal and not unhinged written by a chill person who behaves in a regular way, but we need to acknowledge the facts for what they are. When Taylor Swift watched Rosamund Pike toss her freshly self-bobbed hair out of her face and hiss, “You think you’d be happy with some nice Midwestern girl? No way, baby. I’m it!” her brain lit up like a Christmas tree, and she’s never been the same. If you Google “taylor swift gone girl” there waiting for you will be a medium sized lake’s worth of articles speculating about how Gone Girl influenced and is referenced in past Swift singles “Blank Space” and “Look What You Made Me Do”. This is not new behavior, and if anything it’s getting a bit troubling to think that it’s been this long since Taylor’s read another book. Still, while the prior offerings were a fair attempt at this particular feat of depravity, “mirrorball” has brought Taylor’s Amy Elliott Dunne deification to stunning new heights. And most importantly, Taylor has done a service to every person alive with more than six brain cells and a Internet connection by putting an end to the “Cool Girl” discourse once and for all. By the power invested in “mirrorball”, it is hereby decreed that the Cool Girl speech from Gone Girl is neither feminist or antifeminist, not ironic nor aspirational. No. It’s something much better than all that. It’s a threat. I ! Can ! Change ! Everything ! About ! Me ! To ! Fit ! In !

Gone Girl (2012) by Gillian Flynn

“mirrorball” (2020) by Taylor Swift

When the twinkly musical stylings of Jack Antonoff, a man I distinctly distrust, but for no one specific reason, whirl to life at the beginning of this song I feel instantly entranced, blurry-brained and pleasure-pickled like an infant beneath a light-up crib mobile or, I guess, myself in the old times, the outside times, three tequila sodas deep under the disco lights at The Short Stop. Under a mirrorball in my head. I know very little about music, as a craft, and I really don’t care to know more. I’m happy in a world of pure, dumb sensation. I’m not even sure what kind of instruments are making these jangly little sounds. I just like it. I am vibing. We may not ever be able to behave badly in a club again, but I can sway to my stupid Taylor Swift-and-the-brother-of-the-lady-who-makes-like-those-sweatshirts-with-little-sayings-or-like-vulvas-which-famous-white-women-wear-on-instagram-you-know-what-I-mean song, pressing up onto my tiptoes on the linoleum tile of our kitchen floor and can feel for a second or two something approaching bliss. “mirrorball” is a lush sound bath that I like a lot and then also it’s about being all things to all people, chameleoning at a second’s notice, doing Oscar worthy work on every Zoom call, performing the you who is good, performing the you who is funny, performing the you who draws a liter of your own blood and throws it around the kitchen then cleans it up badly all to get your husband sent to jail for sleeping with a college student... Too much talk about making and unmaking of the self is way too, like, 2012 Tumblr for me now, and I start hearing the word “praxis” ring threateningly in my head, but I’m not yet so evolved that I don’t feel a pull. Musings on the disorganized self—on how we are new all the time, and not just because of all the fresh skin coming up under the dead, personhood in the end so frighteningly flexible—are always going to compel me, I’m afraid, but that goes double for musings on the disorganized self which posit that Taylor Swift still thinks Amy Dunne made some points.

Because on “mirrorball” Taylor is for once not hamfistedly addressing some “hater”, in the quiet and the lack of embarrassing martyrdom it actually offers an interesting answer to the complaint that Taylor is insufficiently self-aware. This criticism emerges often in tandem with claiming to have discovered some crack in the chassis of Swift’s public self, revealing the sweetness to be insincere. My instinct is to dismiss this more or less out of hand as just a mutation of the school of thought that presumes all work by women must be autobiography. And, regardless, it is made altogether laughable by the fact that anyone actually paying attention has known since at least Speak Now, a delightful record populated by the most appalling, horrible characters imaginable, and all of them written by a twenty year old Taylor Swift, that this woman is a pure weirdo. To accuse Taylor Swift of lacking in self-awareness is a reductive misunderstanding, I think, of artifice. Being a fake bitch takes work. Which is to say, if we agree that her public self is a calculated performance—eliding the fact that all public selves are a performance to avoid getting too in the weeds yadda yadda— why, then, should it be presumed that performance is rooted in ignorance? Would it not make more sense that, in fact, someone able to contort themselves so ably into various shapes for public consumption would have a certain understanding of the basic materials they’re working with and concealing? Taylor Swift, in a decade and a half of fame, has presented herself from inside a number of distinct packages. The gangly teenager draped in long curls like climbing wisteria who wrote lyrics down her arms in glitter paint gave way to red lipstick, a Diet Coke campaign, and bad dancing at awards shows. There was the period where she was surrounded constantly by a gaggle of models, then suddenly wasn’t anymore, and that rough interlude with the bleached hair. The whole Polaroid thing. Last year she boldly revealed she’s a democrat. Now it’s the end of the world and she’s got frizzy bangs and flannels and muted little piano songs. Perhaps this endless shape-shifting contradicts or undermines, for some, the pose of tender authenticity which has remained static through each phase, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t been doing it all on purpose the entire time. I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try...

In the Disney+ documentary—which, in order to watch, I had to grudgingly give the vile mouse seven dollars, because the login information that I’d begged off of my little sister didn’t work and I was too embarrassed to bring it up a second time—Taylor referred to “mirrorball” as the first time on the album where she explicitly addressed the pandemic, referring to the lyrics that start, “And they called off the circus, Burned the disco down,” and end with “I’m still on that tightrope, I’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me,” which actually did made me laugh, feeling sort of warmly foolish and a little fond, because it never would have occurred to me that she was trying to be literal there. I suppose we really do all contain multitudes. Hate that.

#taylor swift #folklore

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skaterbeth · 3 years

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tagged by my fav reg ty @bisexualzia

questions to get to know me better

1. name/nickname: marisa and i sometimes let people call me ris

2. gender: female and i use she/her pronouns

3. star sign: pisces

4. height: 5’0 (I KNOW OK)

5. time: 10:26pm

6. birthday: no because i don’t want sophi to find out @greekgrad07

7. favorite bands/groups: uh i’m blanking now so i’ll just say the tlt musical cast adksjaha

8. favorite solo artist: there are too many and i’m lazy i’m so sorry

9. song stuck in my head: dorothea - taylor swift

10. last movie: i rewatch the harry potter movies every night to fall asleep so order of the phoenix

11. last show: the crown (i hate the queen more than usual today)

12. when did i create this blog: honestly idek i could look but i’m lazy

13. what do i post: shit

14. last thing i googled: “keep me sane kacy hill lyrics”

15. other blogs: bold of you to assume i know how side blogs work on tumblr or that i could even make one

16. do i get asks: yes but it’s only ash bullying me, adi and i screaming about the tlt musical or she ra, and sophi bullying me/complimenting me (depends on the day)

17. why i chose my url: because i’m an annabeth simp and i skateboard and if you put those together it’s just the reason i like women

18. following: idek where to check that someone comment

19. followers: ^

20. average hours of sleep: yeah i’m not saying cause ash always yells at me (it’s not my fault ok it’s the mental illness i was diagnosed with)

21. lucky numbers: uh 7, 18, 30 i guess? i don’t really have any

22. instruments: bold of you to assume i retained any knowledge on the instruments i was forced to learn

23. what i am wearing: black tank top and black sweats

24. dream job: that person that nods when you’re allowed to go down the swimming pool

25. dream trip: hell

26. favorite food: honestly idk i don’t really like food but i like s’mores ig

27. nationality: i live in america unfortunately (before people think i’m dumb nationality is where you live/where you have citizenship whereas ethnicity/race is like. ethnicity/race idk a better word for it)

28. favorite song: it changes a lot but rn my most listened to is tis the damn season by taylor

29. last book read - i don’t read books i read fanfiction

30. top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: pjo cause annababe, reyna, and thalia, she ra cause catra, adora, and lonnie, and atla/lok (does that count as one?) cause mai, azula, ty lee, suki, zuko, lin, kya, and kuvira (THAT WAS SO GAY ALDJSJA)

tagging: @bitcheusjackson @greekgrad07 @skaterannabeth @skateryue @bannabeth @bbyannabeth @couvers (literally none of you have to do this i just had to tag people adksjah)

#hey #i forgot my tag for this #fuck #um #whatever #marisa.txt

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huacheng-zhu · 4 years

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RULES: TAG PEOPLE YOU WANNA GET TO KNOW BETTER

I was tagged by @bilboo! Thank you, this one looks really nice!

your name and then what you would have named yourself: my name’s Bee and it is also the name I would’ve named myself because I....named myself.

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): scorpio/cancer. I don’t care much about these things but it’s always fun to look it up. I relate to very few scorpio-related things. cancer things, however....

when did you join tumblr and why?: I joined in 2012 and I genuinely don’t remember why. I wasn’t getting involved though, I was just reblogging Doctor Who posts. I only got involved in internet-fandom stuff in 2014 for HTTYD2

top 5 fandoms: Critical Role, danmei, Tolkien, Overwatch, and gonna put MXTX novels as a branch fandom of the danmei fandom

top 5 favorite films: Professor Marston and the Wonder Women, Coco, How To Train Your Dragon 2, Dracula Untold, Frozen 2

go to song when you wanna Feel something: Uranus by Sleeping At Last. or many of his other songs, tbh, like Seven, Pluto, Saturn, Uneven Odds, Mars, etc etc.

what’s your religion or faith if you have one?: agnostic

a song that makes you feel seen: that one’s hard....given how many times I listened to them, I’d go with either Iridescent by Linkin Park or Show Yourself from Frozen 2

if you could have any career: full-time fanfiction writer :’)

do you have a type?: I can count my recent crushes over, let’s say, the past six years, even very brief, on the fingers of one hand and their only shared trait is having common interests, sooo I really don’t know. I don’t feel like I do.

what does your heart/soul yearn for: peace, acceptance and understanding

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: lions, baking, insecurities, stargazing, cats

favorite subjects in school: english, that’s it that’s literally the only class I was interested in

where does your soul feel most at home: lying in the grass, gazing up at the stars

top 5 fictional characters: Wei Wuxian, Xie Lian, Chu Wanning, Vax’ildan, Jesse McCree (adding Bard the Bowman just for old times’ sake) (also top 5 is definitely not enough I need a top 10....let me add Hua Cheng, Gu Yun, Mo Ran, Caduceus Clay, Yin Yu, Essek Thelyss, Ye Wangxi, Shaun Gilmore, Shi Qingxuan, Yasha Nydoorin, and and and....what do you mean that’s more than 10)

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: wow, in a show? even if I counted movies that was actually a while back already. but it’d be Vax’ildan’s farewell scene in the first campaign of Critical Role. bawled my eyes out. also cried over Scanlan’s gift at the end of Vex’ahlia’s wedding. since then, the last time I ugly cried over something fictional was when reading 2ha.

the earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: the stars

favorite kind of weather: sunny, not too hot, with a warm but gentle wind.

top 3 characters you kin with: there are actually. so few. I’ve rarely if ever related with characters on a personal level. so when I found one I just went :o the lucky (ha) one is Chu Wanning. there’s also Xie Lian and Yin Yu to some extent.

favorite medium of art: animation?

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: introvert

a favorite literary quote: istg I always forget all my favourite quotes when asked. gonna be super basic and say, “The one standing in infinite glory is you; the one fallen from grace is also you. What matters is ‘you’ and not the state of you.” but it’s not really my favourite. I’m just too lazy to go look for more

some of your favorite books: Tian Guan Ci Fu, The Song of Achilles, 2ha, The Alienist, The Picture of Dorian Gray

if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: ignoring, you know, the climate crisis, anywhere near the sea, where the water’s clear and quiet. or anywhere where there’s a clear water river/lake in which I can swim. preferably not that far off from a somewhat big city, if that’s even possible, because I actually love the city and need an easy access to it.

if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: late 1800′s, just for the clothes.

if you could play any instrument masterfully it would be: probably the ocarina. for some reason I’ve always liked it

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you feel a connection to: none because I know very little about mythology.

and lastly, favorite recent selfie in your camera roll: don’t have one on my chromebook, but you can always check my ‘my face’ tag I guess haha

I tag, if you like obv: @ecthelions, @intellectualpencil, @inessencedevided, @forgotten-envies, @curiosity-killed, @agu5td, @kuku-is-tired, @misnomera (but really don’t feel pressured to do this it’s....long)

#tag game

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alexaplaysgames · 3 years

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Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

Tagged by: @onlyhereforinteractivestories thank you so much this was a blast! 🥰

Tagging: I reallyyyy hate doing this because I don’t want to make anyone feel obligated to do it. So anyone that wants to do it, do it and tag me please!

Name/Nickname: You can call me Alexa or Alex, I don’t really mind which.

Gender: Female

Starsign: Aries ♈️ 🔥 I think I’m a Gemini moon sign or sum but I’m bad with astrology.

Height: 5’0 welcome to Whoville y’all! Haters can’t bother me cause I can’t see em.

Time: it’s 9:43 AM as I’m writing this.

Birthday: April 17th

Favourite Bands and Favourite Solo Artists (combined): Listen, I’m honestly not a huge music fan. This list would include: a wack of rock bands my middle-aged father likes, a whole bunch of French-Canadian artists no one has heard of, and the people that write Disney songs. I also really like Michael Jackson, The Bee Gees, Mika, Led Zeppelin. It’s a weird list.

Song Stuck in my Head: Well now it’s Beat It by MJ because I had to think about him. But before that, the House MD theme song. I have problems with a capital Need to Get Some Help.

Last Movie: I watched The First Purge with a friend it left me scarred... The world is fucked up man.

Last Show: The Queen’s Gambit and Beth Harmon can step on me please.

When did you create this blog?: uh... like a few months ago? Idk? For quite a while I did nothing on it. Just stalked people harder than Joe Goldberg.

What do I Post: Garbage, honestly. Tbh, it’s just like everything that goes on in my mess of a brain. It’s really unorganized in here fam. I probably should’ve made seperate accounts with the number of fandoms, but I am lazy. So, like my bio says: everything interactive fiction.

Last Thing I Googled: Other than school related stuff (which is boring), The Wayhaven Chronicles fics on AO3. I obsessively read fanfiction- it’s unhealthy.

Following: 102 (let me love you my pretties)

Followers: 91 and they are all my children so my mother can’t ever ask me why I never gave her grandkids.

Do I Get Asks: Not really, but tbh I wouldn’t ask me questions either. My parents don’t call me a disappointment for nothing.

Why I Chose my URL: Honestly? I was planning to change it and just wanted something that worked. Do you know how many users with Alexa in the name there are? A lot, apparently. Too many. I’ll have to kill them all to become the only one. I’ll probably choose a new one until then.

Average Hours of Sleep: I actually sleep quite a bit, somewhere between 6-8 hours per night which is healthy, so wow! I guess I have accomplished something in my life. Although I am a uni student, this term just started so it’s pretty chill. But it probably won’t last for long.

Lucky number: 6! It was my soccer jersey number for a long time.

Instruments: Look... I’m a band kid. The only instrument I can actually 100% play is the euphonium. It’s not a pretty instrument; it sounds equivalent to a tortured elephant. Don’t bother looking it up, I promise you it’s not cool. But I did take guitar lessons. I just sucked.

What I’m Wearing: literally a t-shirt with a huge ass picture of Rupert Grint’s face on it that just says Ron in a font that looks vaguely threatening. I got it from my cousin. Other than that, Roots sweatpants.

Dream Job: I’m currently pre-vet so it would be nice to actually follow that through! We’ll see how that goes though. Sounds like a lot of commitment.

Dream Trip: I would love to visit Australia or Japan! They both sound really neat. Also, random fact: did y’all know Chris Hemsworth lives in Australia? That’s... an odd coincidence.

Last Book I Read: In reality, it would be an IF book (Supernatural in New York, precisely) but in terms of an actual novel? The Hobbit. Actually no, it would be my Biology textbook but that’s boring. I’m a cool kid.

Favourite Food: I really love pasta. Like crazy obsession amount of love for any kind of pasta. I’m not even remotely Italian. Give me those carbs.

Nationality: Canadian! 🇨🇦 and I find Canadian stereotypes hilarious. I often laugh over them while drinking maple syrup and riding my pet polar bear.

Favourite Song: Once again, I’m not a huge fan of music. So I’ll put the song I’m listening to right now: Golden by Harry Styles. I didn’t even know the name of the song until I looked it up. I’m sorry.

Top Three Fictional Universes: The Percy Jackson universe has been one of my favourites since forever. I also love Middle Earth, the setting of Lord of the Rings (I sound so basic). Lastly, the MCU! I’m a huge superhero fan :) it would be cool to be a superhero but I’d probably die in 0.02 seconds :/

#about me!#thanks so much for this!#long post

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coasttocoastreads · 4 years

Text

Welcome back to Week 2 of Coast to Coast Reads! Who’s still alive? Katya and I are dying while social distancing, but at least we had a few laughs discussing this book:

Crescent City (House of Blood and Earth) // Sarah J Maas

★★ / ★★★★★

Summary in one two gif(s):

Real Summary:

Crescent City, a place where vanir (supernatural beings such as angels, fae, shifters, etc.) and humans freely mingle and go about their days. Bryce Quilan is a 20-something fae/human who’s still reeling from the murder of her friends 2 years ago. But after she’s commissioned to help search for an ancient artifact, Bryce, along with her new angel partner Hunt, unearth previously buried secrets about the murder that threaten to expose a worldwide conspiracy.

Pros:

Great side characters. I would die for each and every one of them.

Lots of different mythological creatures! Not just another Fae Book™️

Cons:

It’s literally ToG 2-7 combined. If you read Throne of Glass, you’ve already been spoiled for this book. 💀💀💀

It’s wayyyy too long

Drags a lot in the beginning

Plot .5/5 (the .5 is for you, Lehaba)

What can I say. SJM literally plagiarized herself by taking the plotline of the tog books and translating it to this new setting. The writing itself was subpar, and most of the time it felt like the author herself had no idea where the plot was going, instead letting it drag on until a plot twist that makes no sense is revealed. (You’ll know which one I’m talking about when you get there.) I’ll compare CC with ToG with spoilers under the cut.

Pacing 2/5

The beginning is full of info-dumping as SJM tries to set up this world which is metaphorically like ours, but everyone’s hot and does fantasy cocaine all the time. It narrates boring day-to-day schedules that could have been condensed into a paragraph and at times I was tempted to skip ahead. The plot does pick up near the last 25% though, so I’ll give it that.

Worldbuilding 2.5/5

It was confusing. To be fair, after all the info was dumped at the beginning, I didn’t bother going back to try to figure things out when they popped up again after. But like still??? I think I only started understanding the hierarchy of the government with the Asterrii(?). Also what are the Triarii I am still lost. SJM attempts to blend a more modern society with one of fantasy creatures, and for the most part it succeeds, but it often just feels...strange. I think the one thing I’m most hung up about is why swords and guns still coexist. Like ??????? it’s one or the other plssssss abandon the “aesthetic” Also while they literally have cell phones and keurig machines there aren’t common things like cars? Why.

Characters: (This is unconventional, bear with me)

Main Characters: -infinity/5 they could go die for all I care

Bryce and Hunt were both super unlikeable, 10/10 would let fall from a cliff. They are literally just rewrites of Aelin and Rowan? Bryce is like ahahaha yeah people think I’m Just a dumb vapid Female™️ who parties too much and gets trashed but SIKE I’m actually the chosen one and I’ve been hiding it this whole time because I didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings uwu. And did I mention I’m actually a trained Warrior who can keep up with The Boys? It’s Aelin y’all. There are numerous times where a character says that she’s not stupid and I’m like...are you sure... This girl makes the poorest decisions, yet ofc, there aren’t any long term consequences... (Also 99% of her problems come from ghosting people literally just respond with “k” sis)

Hunt is... idek what to say about Hunt. He’s just Rowan but in angel form. His inner monologue cycles between I must pay off my debt so I can gain Freedom 😔, why is Bryce so hot 🥴, and Shahar 😭. Once again, literally Rowan who also was bound to some evil villain, had the hots for their CENTURIES YOUNGER pupil/protectee, and had an old lover die tragically which led to them believing they can never find love again UNTIL BryLin comes along. Snooze.

Side Characters: Infinity/5

Ruhn Danaan was the most valid character and that’s the hill I’ll die on. He literally just wanted to protect his sister cuz she’s stupid af but she keeps pushing him away bc he’s an “alphahole” (haha how subversive :/) I want a whole book about him and Hypaxia, preferably fanfiction so I don’t have to read “soft feminine breathing” ever again.

Literally all the supporting cast- Lehaba, Therion, Ithan, Jesiba, Flynn, Connor, etc, etc. had more compelling characters and side stories than Bryce/Hunt. I was 100% more invested in them and I can’t wait to read/write more about them.

(Pls let me marry Jesiba Roga or Therion 🥺)

But while the people on the “good” side were spectacular, the villains all felt one-dimensional and the product of over-recycled and overused tropes mashed together. Sandriel and Pollux are literally just Maeve and Cairn (is that his name)

I’d recommend for:

People who loved Throne of Glass and are lamenting the absence of new content. Please read about Rowaelin 2.0

People stuck at home during this global crisis and have too much time on their hands. (If you need that free epub, hmu)

People who are willing to skip all scenes that feature just Bryce and/or Hunt

People who hate themselves

Would I travel here?

Sorry, what? Already shredded my passport, not getting a replacement, sorry.

Overall thoughts:

I wish I could somehow take those hours of my life back but alas.

See y’all in two weeks with a hopefully better book selection,

Tiff

Spoilers under cut

Okay time to VENT

OKAY so CC=ToG, let’s break down how

Danika’s death is the Nehemia Incident, setting the mc up for a journey of self discovery/reclaiming their power. They both show up as ghosts later to encourage mc in a time of great self-struggle.

Syrinx if Fleetfoot. bc all female mc’s need a pet to reveal her Feminine and Soft side

Sandriel and Pollux are Maeve and Cairn. Evil female character with vast power and her torturer? COOKIE CUTTER FORMULA. The scene where Bryce offers herself up for Hunt in the lobby also kinda mirrors that scene in..HoF? QoS? Don’t remember, but pretty sure that happened. Also that scene was so fucking dumb, I really thought Bryce had a Smart Plan, but I was bamboozled once again.

A gem from my notes: “Bryce is Aelin but with cocaine”

I think the whole demon portal thing is a ripoff of ACOWAR (or is it KoA I can’t even remember), sacrificing yourself to close the rift, etc, etc.

Anyways, Bryce = Aelin, a party-girl front with a sob backstory that’s her superpower origin story who always has a Plan.

Hunt = Rowan, broody warrior busy repaying debts getting orders they don’t want while pining over a lost love. They reluctantly let the female mc in and voila they’re in LOVE

The whole “plot twist” that revealed Hunt’s true plan along was so fucking dumb...

It wasn’t a plot twist, it was just plain bad writing

There was no set up at all, nothing alluding to Hunt secretly masterminding an attempted coup with the help of Magic Meth

The whole time I was like “...this is part of their plan right. There’s no way he legit planned this...”

Character’s POVs should reveal what they’re thinking, even if you’re just hinting at something to reveal later...this was just lazy

Another thing that really rubbed me the wrong way was the sudden reveal that Fury and Juniper had been in a relationship the whole time? Despite like above, there was no prior allusion to that?

It felt like half-assed representation at best and completely irrelevant to the story with it coming up again in a throwaway line near the end

Also? I’m fairly certain there was a scene in the beginning where they were all out clubbing and Juniper hooked up with some rando while Fury was also at the club with them? Was this before they got together or did SJM insert this so last minute that no one caught it?

Wtf is sunball. Can someone just help me out here.

Some people have been saying Hunt is Asian coded? Where???!!!!! All I’m seeing is the same stuff she pulled in ACOTAR where all the Illyrians were tan so people could claim they were poc for woke points but not get in trouble for art depicting them as white ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SJM pls stay away from “like calls to like” you don’t deserve it

#crescent city #house of blood and earth #sarah j maas #tiffs reviews #2 stars #fantasy #bookblr #booklr #bookstagram #book review #yalit #reading #books

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lightsupinthenorth · 4 years

Text

Read me like an open book part 1/2

Hey! :) Here is the first part of a two-part (at least I think ah ah) Harringrove fanfiction. It’s set a few years after the events of the third season (which Billy survived, obviously ^^). It starts on Steve’s birthday just because it’s my birthday today :p

I hope you’ll enjoy ;)

Read on AO3

“It’s presents time, bitches!” Robin said, getting up from the floor, where Steve was still sprawled with Billy half-laying on top of him.

They might have overdone it a little on the weed. Steve didn’t really care, though. He was relaxed and happy. So far, his twenty-first birthday had been the best birthday ever. Robin and Billy had organized a surprise gathering in their shared flat, inviting the kids, Nancy and Jonathan, as well as Joyce and Hopper. After everyone had left earlier in the evening, Robin had gone to her room and had come back with a bag of weed bought by Billy and her for the occasion, and they had gotten positively baked.

Billy and Robin had insisted to give him his present when it was just the three of them instead of doing it at the same time as the others. When Steve had seen the weed, he had understood why. So, he was confused when Robin mentioned presents.

“What presents?”

“Your birthday presents, dingus. I know you’re high right now, but I didn’t think you were high enough to forget your own birthday.” Robin cackled.

“Hey, I haven’t forgotten. I just kinda thought… wasn’t the weed the present?”

“Pfff, no.” Billy replied. “What kind of present would that be? As if we didn’t already smoke weed on the regular.”

He made them sound like potheads. They didn’t smoke that often… Then again, it did happen more frequently than their respective birthdays.

“Yo, Buckley, can you go to my room and fetch my present for Steve too, now that you’re at it. It’s in the drawer of my bedside table.” Billy yelled, a lot louder than was necessary considering Robin was just in the next room.

Steve whined. Billy’s voice was reverberating in his head.

“Sure, you lazy fuck.” She yelled back, just as loud.

They were so noisy!

“Open mine first!” Robin said as she sat down on the floor again, extending a rectangular package.

Steve had to detangle himself from Billy, ignoring his mumbled complaints, before he tore into the brightly colored wrapping paper. He uncovered a thick book with a beautiful cover representing a sky full of stars. It was titled Long live the King.

“I know you’ve taken to reading, these days, and this novel is amazing.” Robin assured.

“It’s really not that good.” Billy grumbled, with a roll of his eyes.

“Oh, you read it too?” Steve asked.

“Uh… yeah, I did.”

Billy was staring at Robin when he said it. And he was frowning.

“Don’t listen to him, Steve, he’s being a buzzkill. You’re going to love it.”

“I’m sure I will. Thanks Rob.” Steve hugged her.

He hoped Billy would still agree to help him with the book, even if he didn’t like it much. Ever since he knew Steve had trouble with written words, Billy would read to him all the time. It had become their thing. Steve loved his voice. Well, Steve loved everything about him, but that was off topic.

“Now, here’s Hargrove gift.”

Robin basically dropped the gift in Steve’s lap. The wrapping paper had multi-colored stars on it. Steve unraveled it carefully and found a set of pencils and a beautiful sketchbook. Billy and Robin’s gifts kind of coordinated aesthetically speaking, which was nice. Indeed, on the cover of the notebook was a drawing of the night sky, with the sea represented underneath. “My sea of stars”, was written on the front.

Steve used to doodle distractingly during class. He’d been doing it since primary school. After he had graduated, his doodling habit had spread to his daily life. He would draw lines absentmindedly while he was on the phone or trace random shapes on discarded pieces of paper when he was watching TV but was too fidgety to focus. He hadn’t been seriously committed to drawing, though. He had only started making it into a real hobby after Starcourt. Billy had been the one to suggest it, in fact. After he’d literally come back to life, Steve and he had become good friends, and Billy had noticed his little habit and had bought him a sketch pad. Drawing helped Steve a lot. Gave him something to do when he was feeling restless, which was the case more often than not after the whole ‘Upside-Down and co’ experience.

Steve was frustrated by his lack of technique, at first, and had almost given up on several occasions. But Billy had always been there to cheer him up and keep him going. He was certain Billy hadn’t even realized his compliments and encouragements had prevented Steve from calling it quits at least a dozen times. They spent hours together in their living room, on the couch, Steve drawing while Billy wrote in his huge notebook, with his feet on Steve’s lap. Steve was eager to spend many more hours that exact same way, drawing on the new sketchbook Billy had offered him.

“It’s… it’s really nice, Billy. I love it. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Pretty boy.”

They hugged, and Billy didn’t let him go, half-climbing on him again as they laid back down.

“Ugh, guys, seriously, get a room.” Robin complained, which led to Steve blushing and Billy flipping her the bird.

Steve would have attributed Billy’s behavior to the weed, but they had gotten more and more tactile since the beginning of their friendship about two years prior, so the weed didn’t have much to do with it. Except that maybe Billy would have waited for Robin to go to bed before attaching himself to Steve like a koala, if he hadn’t been high.

Either way, Steve was far from complaining: the more Billy touched him, the better.

Before he went to bed that night, Steve took his secret sketchpad – the one in which he drew his best friend page after page (like an obsessed creep) – from under his mattress, and drew the version of Billy he had seen earlier: high Billy, with his lax body and hazy eyes.

A few minutes after putting his paper shrine back in its usual hiding spot, Steve fell asleep with a smile on his face, and the smell of Billy’s cologne on his own skin. He hoped all his birthdays to come would be similar to this one.

When Steve got up the next morning, Billy and Robin were eating breakfast in the kitchen.

He heard Billy say:

“Stop it, Robin. I can’t tell him, I just can’t.”

It made no sense to him, since he had missed the beginning of the conversation, but his interest was picked.

“You can’t tell who, what?” He asked as he went to the cupboard to get his favorite cereals. No way he would eat oatmeal like Robin and Billy. What a depressing way to start the day.

“I, uh…” Billy started. Robin interrupted him, though:

“He can’t tell his coworker that his new haircut looks stupid.”

“Yeah… ‘Cause it would be mean, you know.” Billy added, before putting a huge spoonful of oatmeal in his mouth.

“Uh… well, it’s true. It wouldn’t be a very nice thing to say, Rob.” Steve agreed.

He put his box of cereals on the table and sat down next to Robin, in front of Billy, who was looking intently at his bowl.

“Why do you think Billy should tell the poor guy his hair looks weird?”

If anyone said that to Steve, he’d be devastated. That was for sure.

“So he can let his hair grow back and have it cut in a more flattering way.” Robin explained. “It would be doing him a favor, in my opinion.”

Steve hummed. “Makes sense”, he said. He was more focused on his fruit loops, though. It wasn’t like he cared about the guy anyway. He hadn’t even met him.

Robin hadn’t either, so Steve didn’t know why she was so pressed on Billy giving him hair advice. Whatever floats her boat, he thought.

His roommates were weird, sometimes. Nothing could be done about it.

The next weekend, Steve and Billy were both off from their respective work, and Steve really wanted to start reading the book Robin had gotten him for his birthday.

Billy was occupied with a novel of his own next to him, and Steve didn’t want to be a burden, so he started reading on his own. After a few pages, he was already hooked, but he got tired quickly, as he always did. Frustrated, he fidgeted a bit on the couch and brought the book closer to his face, as if it would help the words stop swimming in front of his eyes.

Billy sighed.

“What’s up, Pretty boy?” He asked, only then looking up from his own reading.

“I just… would it be okay… would you read to me? Please.”

Billy sighed again, a bit louder. Steve’s face fell. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but Steve always looked forward to Billy reading out loud to him.

“Sorry… I know you don’t like this book… I’ll ask Robin to read it to me when she gets home.”

“No! I… I’ll do it, I’ll read for you. I really don’t mind.” Billy exclaimed.

Steve was agreeably surprised by the amount of enthusiasm Billy displayed and he smiled at him when he handed him the book, letting their hands brush.

“Thank you!”

Steve kissed Billy’s cheek and laid his head on his shoulder.

“Don’t mention it, Pretty boy.”

“Sure, I’ll mention it. It means a lot, you know.”

Billy cleared his throat. “Right… if you say so.”

Steve could feel the heat of Billy’s blush.

He always downplayed the nice things he did, but Steve wouldn’t have it. He would keep showing Billy he was grateful for every little (and not so little) attention. Declaring his undying love to him would be a very effective way to make Billy realize how much Steve really appreciated him, but that would also do a lot more harm than good. Steve had to focus on the big picture, here.

Billy began to read where Steve had stopped, and if Steve didn’t already know Billy disliked the book, he wouldn’t have been able to tell at all. He put his heart into it as he always did. Not only that, but Steve felt like Billy’s voice held even more emotion than it usually did.

Steve fell into a sort of trance. The story was told in first person, from the point of view of a magician in a fantasy land, and Steve imagined himself as the narrator. In his mind, he could see everything Billy was describing: the village, the fields, the magnificent castle surrounded by a dark forest in which creatures lurked, the King who lived in the castle and whom the enchanter was secretly in love with.

Hours passed before Billy stopped reading. Still, Steve had to refrain himself from begging for one more chapter. He couldn’t be greedy; he didn’t want Billy to tire of him.

“Here you go, Stevie.”

“That was great. You’re the best.”

“It’s just reading, Pretty boy. I didn’t hang the moon.” Billy mumbled.

Steve nearly said “You might as well have”, but said: “It’s far better than ‘just reading’”, instead. That was a close call.

They went to the kitchen to make dinner, and Robin came home from work right before the oven beeped.

Steve ate his meal slowly, without really tasting it, and he didn’t say much, letting Robin and Billy do most of the talking. He was still somewhere far away, in a fantasy land ruled by a beautiful king. And, if the king was a carbon copy of Billy, it was nobody’s business but Steve’s.

On Thursday, Billy went to Indianapolis, and Steve went with him. Apparently, Billy had been asked by his boss to go check and fix a few collection cars over there, and Billy had invited Steve to come with him. Said it would be fun. They’d spend the morning together and Billy would go to his work appointment after lunch.

“Not that I’m not glad to have the opportunity of going on a fun little trip or anything, but couldn’t that guy find a garage in Indianapolis to take care of his cars? There must be more than a few.” Steve asked Billy, who had just started the car.

“That’s because I’m the best in fucking Indiana, baby.” He said with a cocky grin.

Steve rolled his eyes but couldn’t hold back his fond smile.

“Right. Forget I asked.”

“To answer more seriously, I don’t really know. But who gives a fuck? The guy paid extra… I mean like, a big wad of cash. So, fine by me.”

Billy shrugged.

Steve found it quite weird, but it was fine by him too. It wasn’t any of his business, anyway: he was just tagging along.

He turned the radio on, and then Billy and he bickered for ages about what station to choose. That was somewhat of a tradition every time they were in a car together.

“I’m driving, so I choose. It’s driver’s privilege, Pretty boy. Suck it up.”

“But that’s not fair!” Steve whined. “You insisted to drive, it’s not like I had a choice.”

“Too bad. You lose anyway.”

Steve crossed his arms over his chest and pouted, making Billy laugh. The cold bastard.

When they arrived in Indianapolis, Billy parked, and they chose a direction at random to go wander. Steve got caught up in some window-shopping, stopping abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk to stare at the newest Adidas sneakers behind the glass.

Steve used to be given everything he wanted. Well, everything he wanted that could be bought with money. Now that he didn’t speak to his parents anymore and was financially independent, however, he couldn’t afford many unnecessary expenses. These shoes sadly fell into the “unnecessary” category.

Billy had not immediately noticed Steve had stopped walking, so he had to go back on his tracks a little.

“Hey, Stevie, give a guy a warning, would you? I turned to talk to you and you were not there anymore.”

“Sorry, sorry. I was just… I wanted to take a look at these.” Steve pointed at the shoes. “I don’t know why I did, anyway… it’s not like I’m gonna buy them.”

“Right… it’s fine. Let’s go get lunch, Pretty boy.” Billy said, steering him away from the shop, but not without giving the shoes a good look himself.

They ate burgers and fries in a greasy joint they had stumbled upon. The food was pretty good. As a testament to that, Billy kept trying to steal fries off Steve’s basket. At first, Steve batted his hand away, but he gave up after a while. When Billy gave him a wide smile after finally succeeding, Steve couldn’t even be mad at him. He’d gave up all the fries in the world if it meant seeing Billy smile like that. Steve smiled back at him.

In the afternoon, while Billy was at work, Steve went to a coffee shop and bought a cappuccino for himself, and a giant raisin oatmeal cookie to go for Billy. He grimaced a little as he ordered the latter. Billy really had weird tastes, sometimes.

He sat down at a table and put the cookie in his backpack, before taking out his book. He progressed slowly, really slowly, only managing to read a chapter before he had to meet Billy back at the car. Yes, Steve had trouble with reading to begin with, but the fact that this book was making him emotional was not helping him read it any faster.

He related to the narrator a lot. He, too, was in love with someone close to him yet unreachable. He, too, had to admire them in silence. And the object of his love was as beautiful and as brave as the King was described to be. The only difference was that the King was said to have brown hair and eyes.

What the characters were going through also reminded him of what had happened because of the Upside-Down, in some way. Life in Hawkins was (or at least had been) so strange that it looked like something out of a fantasy novel. How wild was that? Steve mused, as he was waiting for Billy near his car.

When Billy made it to the car, he was carrying a thick brown envelope in his right hand and a paper bag in the left.

“Want some help with all that?” Steve asked.

“Uh… No, thank you. I’ll be fine.” Billy assured, transferring the envelope in his left hand so he was carrying everything on the same side and could fetch the car keys from his pocket with his newly free hand. He opened the trunk and dropped everything in it.

Steve didn’t bother asking what was in the envelope, or in the bag. If Billy had wanted to share the information, he already would have. Steve definitely wondered, though.

“I have an oatmeal raisin cookie for you, if you’d like.” He said once they were in their seats, as he rummaged through his backpack in search of it.

“Oh yeah thanks! that sounds perfect.”

Billy took the paper bag from Steve’s hand as he unparked the car. Steve would have scolded him for eating while driving instead of focusing solely on the road, but that would have been slightly hypocritical of him.

“Well, that’s a relief, because no way I’d have eaten that if you didn’t want it.” Steve made a face again.

“That’s ‘cause you have bad tastes, Pretty boy.” Billy said, taking a big bite of the cookie and putting crumbs everywhere.

Steve laughed. If only Billy knew how much Steve loved him, he would certainly backtrack on what he had just said.

“It’s delicious, you don’t know what you’re missing.” Billy said in between bites.

Steve was watching him with a sad smile, glad that Billy’s eyes were on the road and not on him. It took him a few seconds to reply.

“Oh I know, believe me. I know.”

The next morning, when he woke up, Steve found the brown paper bag Billy had come back with at the foot of his bed. What the…?

The idea of Billy sneaking into his room during the night to put it there made something tighten in his chest, but Steve was mostly preoccupied with finding out what was inside the bag.

He basically jumped out of bed, which was very unusual of him (he was the exact opposite of a morning person), and reached for the bag. There was a box labelled Adidas in it… no way! Steve opened it with shaky hands and his jaw dropped.

What… how… why? Steve was confused. Billy had gotten him the sneakers he’d been looking at in the shop window. How had he paid for them? Why would he spend so much money on Steve? Especially so soon after his birthday… This was far too much.

Steve exited his room quicker than he would have if it had been on fire.

“Billy!” Steve might have called his name slightly louder than he meant to.

Billy, who was sitting at the breakfast table with his back to Steve, jumped and put a hand over his heart.

“Damn, Pretty boy, calm down. You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“What the fuck?”

Robin darted her eyes between the two of them and announced: “I’ll leave you to it”, before retreating to her room with her bowl of disgustingly bland oatmeal.

“What gives, Stevie?”

“You know what, Billy. The shoes. What the fuck? Why did you buy them?”

“Isn’t that obvious? You wanted them, and I wanted you to have them. It’s not that big a deal.” Billy was not looking at him as he spoke.

Steve’s heart nearly melted. Because that was so fucking sweet of Billy to do what he did, and then say something like that. He couldn’t possibly accept the gift, though.

“Not that big a deal? They’re so expensive, Billy… I can’t … I can’t just take them… it wouldn’t be right.”

“Look, Steve… As I told you, my client from yesterday paid really well, and it’s my money, so I get to decide how to spend it, and I wanted to spend it on these shoes, for you. So please, keep them. They’re your size and not refundable, anyway. Either you keep them or they’ll just rot in the cupboard. That’s up to you.”

Steve was almost certain Billy was bullshitting him on the “not refundable” part, but he didn’t argue. It would be no use: Billy always won.

So, he just hugged him tightly instead. Billy froze for a second, but quickly let go of the spoon he was still holding to hug Steve back.

“Thank you so much. I don’t know what I did to deserve that.”

“You don’t need to do anything in particular, Pretty boy. Being yourself is more than enough.”

Steve was not a crier, but his eyes were undeniably misty. Billy couldn’t keep being so sweet and expect Steve to reign his feelings in. They were on the verge of overflowing already.

After finally letting go of Billy (not before leaving a kiss on top of his head, though), Steve put the sneakers on.

“Steve, seriously… you’re still wearing your pajamas.”

Steve’s pajamas consisted in frayed basketball shorts and a old Hawkins High t-shirt, so it was fine to wear the sneakers with them in Steve’s book. And he wouldn’t take these off until he absolutely had to.

“So what?” Steve asked.

Billy rolled his eyes, but his ears were red.

About a week later, Steve’s nightmares paid him a visit. They had left him alone for a while, but Steve knew they’d be back eventually. He saw Billy die again, which was simultaneously his worst and most common nightmare.

“Hey, Steve. Stevie. Wake up, please.”

He was shaken awake.

Thankfully, Billy was the one to wake him up from his dream, so Steve instantly knew he was alive and well. Steve threw his arms around him, buried his face in his neck, and inhaled his scent to calm himself down.

Billy held him close and rubbed his back, whispering reassuring words in his ear:

“You’re okay, Pretty boy. You’re fine. It was just a dream.”

Yes, Steve was alright. But the most important thing was that Billy was. That had been the object of Steve’s concern.

“I’m sorry… did I wake you?”

Billy sighed.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t mind, Steve?”

“As many times as I have to tell you the same thing.”

Billy’s room was right next to Steve’s. It wasn’t the first time he woke Billy up with his nightmare-induced screams. And Billy’s night terrors had woken Steve up a few times too.

“Touché.” Billy said. “Do you think you’ll be able to go back to sleep?” He added after a pause.

“I don’t know… Could you read to me again?”

“Sure, if it helps.” Billy agreed.

Steve snatched the book from his bedside table and handed it to Billy, who opened it where the bookmark indicated Steve had stopped.

“You read all this by yourself?” There was awe in Billy’s voice.

Steve was blushing, but in the low light of his bedside lamp, it was probably not very noticeable. At least, he could always hope.

“Yeah… uh… I was really into it.”

He had read about seven chapters on his own, which, added to the ones Billy had read to him the other day, only left three before they reached the end.

“Steve, you did really good!”

Steve blushed even harder. His face was burning at that point. Billy sounded so proud of him.

“It’s not like it’s a great achievement, or anything… but yeah, I guess it’s progress.”

“Hey, of course it’s progress. It’s a lot, Steve. Don’t diminish your accomplishments.” Billy said in a firm tone.

“Okay, okay. I won’t.”

“Good.” Billy sprawled on the bed and leaned against the headboard. He then tugged on Steve’s arm. “Now settle down.”

Steve did as he was told and settled right next to him, resting his head on Billy’s chest and putting an arm over his waist. Steve loved the feeling of Billy’s naked skin against his. When they had first moved in together, Billy wore long-sleeved t-shirts almost constantly, self-conscious as his scars made him. Now, he slept in nothing but shorts. Steve wasn’t the only one who had been making progress.

Billy was barely three sentences into the third to last chapter when his voice broke. He cleared his throat and resumed the reading as if nothing had happened. His voice was now breathy, though.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“You sure? We can stop.”

“I’m sure, Pretty boy. Now shut up and let me read.”

Steve effectively shut up and Billy got back to the task at hand.

In the last three chapters, the King lost his kingdom, the magician finally confessed their love and found out it was in fact reciprocated. Then, the narrator described their first kiss with the King, a kiss that made Steve’s chest constrict with longing. The fact that it was Billy’s voice describing it only made the longing ten time worse.

As Billy read the last words: “He was not ruling the kingdom anymore, but to me he would always be king. My king, my light, my love, my everything”, Steve was on the verge of tears.

He regularly went through terrifying nightmares and found himself unable to spill a single tear, but this book might do the trick. And okay, it might have been a bit mushy, but Steve was really digging it, alright?

He opened his eyes and saw a tear stain on the last page. For a second, he thought he had already started crying without noticing, but his cheeks were dry. It then occurred to him that the tear had come from Billy.

Steve put the book away from him and had to straddle him so they could be face to face. He then wiped Billy’s tears, but they kept coming.

“What’s the matter, Billy?”

Unlike Steve, Billy was a crier. Steve had seen him cry a bunch of times, when he’d been particularly tired, or sad, or frustrated. However, there was something he was not getting: why had Billy pretended he didn’t like the book in the first place? It had to be the book. What other reason did Billy have to cry right now?

“I… I’m sorry.” Billy just said before he started properly bawling and hid his face in his hands.

Steve was even more confused… and slightly panicked.

“Hey… hey… please, tell me what’s wrong. I… I don’t know what to do.”

Steve circled Billy’s wrists to ground him, but he didn’t try to pull his hands away from his face for fear it might make him retreat further into himself.

“I just… this book hits me really hard.” His voice was muffled, but Steve could still make out the words.

“But… you said it wasn’t very good.”

Billy lowered his hands. His eyes were red and puffy.

“I meant it… It still makes me sad, though.”

Steve frowned. He didn’t think a book could elicit such reaction in someone who didn’t like it all that much.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Steve wouldn’t have judged Billy, he would have understood. He never wanted Billy to feel so bad, and even less if it happened because of something Steve had asked of him.

“I should have… I should have said something. I’m sorry.” Billy’s breathing was uneven, and Steve could see his tears threatening to come back.

“Hey, no. Don’t be sorry. You don’t have to apologize. Just tell me next time, okay?”

Billy nodded and Steve smiled at him tentatively.

“Let’s go to bed.”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Billy mumbled.

Steve turned the lights off before moving from Billy’s lap to lay down. As Billy snuggled up with him, Steve couldn’t help but think about his recent behavior. Billy was acting a tad strange these days. He had gotten a lot better at expressing his feelings verbally in the last couple of years, and Steve was positive that the Billy he knew would have told him the book would upset him instead of pretending he would be fine.

Steve would have to talk to him when he was more clear-headed. The last thing he wanted was for Billy to close himself off again.

Thank you for reading :D

#Harringrove #Steve Harrington #Billy Hargrove #fluffl #a lot of fluff with a side of plot #Robin Buckley #Harringrove fanfiction #Stranger Things #part 1 #part 1 of 2

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rinnnyxr · 3 years

Text

Cancer an unpaid therapist terrifying when angered there for you when no one else is loves sleep laughs literally at anything selfless quite but smart speak their mind fall in love quickly supportive introverted reliable sometimes over emotional really strong under pressure overthinks a lot honest but secretive cut people out of their life easily worried about future sensitive apologizes too much so sweet unless you trigger them can understand others really well polite faithful stylish 19/25

Scorpio straightforward can be stubborn passionate observant and cautious opinionated sweet if treated well love and hate with their whole heart secretive feelings are intense over protective mysterious has a really strong personality hate losing true and loyal friends likes to be in control brave savage mature can be brutally honest emotional but doesn’t show it can get obsessed fast dark humor their emotions are so deep they seem tough from outside can go from cute to scary in a second 18/25

Pisces generous don’t tolerate rude and judging people good at telling stories escapist get used by some people a lot empathetic introverted and quite artistic sensitive sometimes selfless always daydreaming hopeless romantic loyal to a fault not argumentative but stand up for what they believe like to help people mature get along with different kind of people forgive fast but doesn’t forget sweetest if well treated feels other people’s emotions can spot fake and lie easily great sixth sense scary when angry secretive and vague independent 16/25

I am happy right now. I am 5’6” or taller. I have a boyfriend/girlfriend. I like to read books for fun. I like horror films. I like science fiction films. I like romance films. I have been in a car accident. I believe in ghosts. I like Nicholas Sparks novels. I believe in reincarnation. I have had my wisdom teeth pulled. I pray on a regular basis. I have a bible. I read the bible. I have been to another continent. I have a crush on one of my friends. I am not a virgin. I have lived in the same house my entire life. I like talking on the phone. I have read comic books. I collect something. I have done drugs before. I have smoked before. I have gotten drunk before. My parents are still together. I have written a song before. I think I can sing well. I have blonde hair. I have brown hair or black hair. I have red hair I have unnatural coloured hair. I have freckles. I have stretch marks. I am straight. I am gay. I am neither or somewhere in between. I have been in a fist fight before. I have performed something in front of 20 people or more. I have self harmed. I have attempted suicide. I have been abused by a relationship partner. I have been abused by a family member. I have run away from home. I have self harmed for more than four years. I like to cook food. I like to bake food. I have a dog. I enjoy camping. I can fit my hand inside a Pringles can. I have changed for someone else. I like to read fanfiction. I like to write fanfiction. I have used a typewriter before. I have skiied before. There is someone I’ve had a crush on for more than four months. I have talked to that person today. I live on my own. I prefer texting over calling. I talked to my dad today. I’m keeping a secret from someone I care about a lot. I like to sing in the car. I hum a lot. I had a bully in school. I was a girl/boy scout. I am Batman. I’ve stolen from my parents before. I’ve stolen from a store before. I have a favourite piece of classical music. Chinese food is my favourite. I have a favourite ninja turtle.

You pretty much always have a cup of tea or a bottle of water with you. You think enjoying the moment is more important than catching it on camera. You enjoy watching documentaries. You spend most of your time alone and have no close relationships. You joined Pottermore and were sorted into Gryffindor. You have a dry and sarcastic sense of humour. Long, dark winter nights drain you. Summer is by far your favourite season and lifts your mood a lot. A lot of the time you have to laugh at your own bad luck. Your mood plummets if you don’t follow a health and fitness routine. Your favourite ever music video is Lana Del Rey’s Ride. You love lazy summers spent going for walks and lounging in the garden. You love to spend your time lost in a good book. You watch American Horror Story and Asylum is your favourite season so far. You’ve overcome a lot over the last year but have slipped up recently. You prefer sitting exams to completing coursework. You love long car journeys spent listening to music. You find learning about how people lived in the past interesting. Your parent’s closed-minded attitudes frustrate you. You’ve grown very used to loneliness. You prefer getting up early and having productive mornings. You try to enjoy dancing in public but you still feel very awkward. You can’t even be bothered to hold grudges and find them pointless. Winona Ryder is one of your favourite actresses. You don’t find award shows very interesting. You have no patience for people who are glued to their phones. You’re a bit of a hypochondriac. You enjoy warm evenings spent doing yoga in the garden. Sunsets are one of your favourite things about the planet. You prefer to avoid medication but appreciate it’s necessity sometimes. You find talking to older people easier than talking to ones your own age. You’re naturally quiet and content with being that way. Your handwriting seems to change every time you pick up a pen. You dislike the thought of ever being dependent on anybody. Texting bores you and you’d rather just make a phone call. You like to hear about other people’s music tastes. You prefer to keep your living space clean and tidy. Anxiety controls you more than you’d like to admit. You can hardly even cope with being around people because of it. You can’t decide whether you prefer cities or countryside. You’re pretty much incapable of ever relaxing. You like discovering and being introduced to new music. Your favourite song by The Smiths is What Difference Does It Make. You procrastinate things you don’t feel capable of doing perfectly. You keep pretty much everything to yourself. You have quite a temper but you’re good at controlling it. You much prefer skirts and dresses to jeans. You’re not really a fan of alcohol anymore. Your parents let you down when you needed them the most. You have a pretty awful relationship with your mum and it upsets you. You dream of finding a sense of belonging somewhere. You’re a fan of The Cure. You love doing toning exercises, especially stomach workouts. Patience is definitely not a trait of yours. You don’t expect anybody to take an interest in you or be there for you. The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me is one of your favourite albums. You’re a university student. You waste too much time on Tumblr and the internet in general. You’re an Arctic Monkeys fan. You’ve read and loved The Outsiders by S.E Hinton.

I AM: outgoing, a sister, overwhelmed, helpful, kind, overweight, tall, caring, a shopaholic, energetic, hopeful, smart, over 18, religious, sexually active, a mother, a good singer, ugly, insecure, a natural blonde, a leader, shy, inquisitive, determined, thirsty, frustrated, registered to vote, independent, hungry, self-conscious, a hard worker, skinny, paranoid, in love, a college/uni student, a dreamer, a movie buff, usually happy, easily entertained, quiet, a daddy’s girl, a smoker, employed, happy with my life, anxious, a pothead, healthy, on a desktop.

I HAVE: an iphone, a laptop, anxiety, drugs, a tumblr, an addiction, a dog, my own car, a degree, a job, trust issues, a temper, a brother, a big house, blue eyes, a lot of clothes, a twin bed, a big family, netflix, to pee, odd taste in music, a large book collection, fast internet, a big imagination, my license, curly hair, short hair, a messy room, acne, a phobia, a medical condition, an awkward smile, some kind of collection, taken over 1,000 surveys, a personal blog that nobody sees but me, gotten lost while driving, been to warped tour, big feet, bills to pay, a lot of strong opinions, a pool, an xbox, a cold, a lot of music, more than two piercings.

I WANT: a boyfriend, more money, a better body, to adopt, to move out, a new computer, to lose weight, something I cannot have, food, a baby, my hair to grow out, a new life, to be more confident, a tattoo, fast food, alcohol, more friends, to go on vacation, to see a new movie coming out, to go shopping, a new phone, a piercing, concert tickets, someone to hang out with, to start working out, to be famous, to see a certain someone, more clothes, to donate blood, bigger boobs, someone to cuddle with, a job, smaller thighs, to learn how to play an instrument, my favorite band to release a new album, someone to love, a new pet, to go to sleep, to grow up, to change something about my personality, breakfast food, them to make a new pokemon game, a new ipod, a popsicle, to learn a new skill, to be more organized, to go to college, someone to bring me breakfast in bed.

I THINK: abortion is wrong, xanga is dying, I’ll die young, I’m a good person, too often, I’m going to hell, pickles are gross, a lot of popular things are overrated, people underestimate me, my taste in music is perfect, I need a new layout, I’m pretty responsible, gay marriage should be legal, I’m going to dye my hair soon, I’m funny, I’m going to make a huge decision soon, my parents hate me, I’m pretty, I have a mental disorder, I annoy people, something is seriously wrong with me, of better days, a lot of Disney Channel stars grow up to be trash, The Hunger Games is overrated, the best things in life are free, popular music is pretty awful, I could be a vegan, I’ll make a good mother, I spend too much money on clothes, I’m too good for guys my age, I worry too much, goths are scary, the survey community is dying, politics are stupid, foreign languages are interesting, hipsters are annoying, bolding surveys are the best, everything is better with cheese, Twilight is overrated, I will be alone forever, I might go to bed soon, I may try something new soon, I’m pretty boring, I may never stop taking surveys, McDonald’s is gross, celebrities are overpaid, people use me a lot, Valentine’s Day is a joke, nobody is truly original.

I LOVE: animals, shopping, cooking, going to concerts, jewelry, glitter, reading, bright colors, make up, taking pictures, hot showers, texting, going to the theater, children, anime, being girly, working out, my life, where I live, summer, fruit, candles, photography, eating, learning, rainy days, walking, painting my nails, doing my hair, music, xanga, facebook, feeling needed, getting comments, tumblr, helping others, volunteering, cuddling, chewing gum, youtube, dresses, touch screens, decorating, writing, finding money in my pockets, Comedy Central.

I HATE: cleaning, driving, big crowds, politics, religion, musicals, talking on the phone, crying, fast food, going to the doctor, meat, vegetables, sitcoms, my body, my life, my parents, long fingernails, bad grammar, cocky people, being single, facial hair, having no signal, losing, working, doing the dishes, bugs, children, straight edge kids, racists, going to the dentist, going to school, arguing, hospitals, being pale, having scars, hot weather, wearing socks, listening to the radio, animal cruelty, stretched ears, wearing glasses, when nobody texts me back, anime, having nothing to do, when I have stray hairs stuck to my shirt, waiting, bad hair days.

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ivyquinzel · 4 years

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Rating my family members out of boredom. Most of them have good rating but I have daddy issues

My Mom: Accepts that I'm gay, doesn't really know what to do about it. Asks if I learned it from the internet and if I really want to dye my hair black and rainbow. Asks if I learned my political beliefs from the internet, listens to my stepdad for all politics, ignores my sources. Doing her best to learn to accept trans people since I came out, very sweet and loving. Let's me disagree without getting upset. She's trying to improve, I love her and she does her best to support, 9/10 for effort

My Dad: Would disown me if he found out I was gay and trans. Pro Cop Pro Trump Manipulative, verbally abusive to my mom. Dated a 16 year old when he was in his thirty's, married her when she turned 18. Eventually got divorced from her. Tells me I'm the only reason he hasn't killed himself. I'm 14, go get a therapist. Uses autism as an insult and says ADHD and anxiety are excuses, I have all three of those so. Lowkey sexist, Kinda racist, a general asshole. If he doesn't win an argument it didn't happen, even if it was about a book he's never read and I've read 10 times. He just pretends it doesn't happen. Spends lots of money on me if I pretend to believe his lies. Still a creep and an asshole, I just know how to make him think I still like him. 0/10

My Stepdad: Former Cop. Pro War, Pro Police Violence, Unusually excited when he thought there would be a world war three. Yelled at his son for wearing a girls cami (I have him my old one) to paint so his shirts didn't get movie. Wouldn't let him watch his favourite tv show bc it's for girls. The child is literally 4. Transphobic, but offered to take me to a drag race and bought me a rainbow sticker when I came out as bi, which I think is his way if supporting. Says I'm not gay at least three times a conversation when it even slightly involves LGBT. Toxic masculinity, gender roles. Doesn't like me much, literally said he'd die for all his kids except me in front of me much, which I'm fine with but rude much? Shoves me away from my mom, who I'm very close to so he can stand with her. Won't let me carry my baby sister, says I'm a horrible babysittier, makes fun of most things I do, dumps Brielle on me every time he wants to do something without asking even if I've been working all day and won't let me complain. Says I'm lazy and bad at school work bc I'm not doing it while I'm literally doing it. Doesn't think he should have to take care of his kids. Buys expensive foods and deserts for everyone else but doesn't have enough to get me anything over 20 dollars or dessert. Listens to my mom half the time she yells at him or tells him to be nice to me. Blames someone else when he makes a mistake. 0/10

My nine year old cousin: Gay, cool with trans people, writes lesbian fanfiction. Small and sweet, 10/10

My 13 year old cousin: Does not give a fuck what I am, uses my pronouns even when he's trying to be an asshole to me, sometimes punches me but he started doing it less after I broke his nose. He's been getting nicer over the past few years, we're actually friends now. Plays Assassin's Creed with me. 7/10 for punching me

My one year old sister and two year old cousin: Literal angels. Have done nothing wrong. Pains to babysit but I love them anyways. 10/10

My six year old cousin: He's very sweet, but holy shit does he like to misbehave. Unfortunately, I have to be responsible when I babysit, or I'd join him. Attention whore, will cry and be dramatic. I love him anyways. 6/10 for being annoying, if it's harsh it's bc I'm babysitting him for over a month

Uncle 1: Weird. Calls tv the devil's box. Very nice, veteran but against police brutality. Cool with gays. 8/10

Aunt 1: Super Sweet. Depressed from ptsd (also a veteran) which makes me sad. It is my mission to make her happy. Literally the nicest. 10/10

Uncle 2: Funny, puts up with my bs even though we all know he's done with it. Tells his kid not to punch me, plays Assassin's Creed with me. Generally a nice guy. 10/10

Aunt 2: Pro gay, taught her kids about transgender. Huge ally, I haven't come out to her as gay but she definitely knows. Bet sweet, spoils her kids. House is literally covered with stuff, 99% sure she's a hoarder bc there's a trail through toys and items and stuff in her house, it smells kind of bad but at least I'm not bored I guess? 9/10 for the mess

Cousins Aunt: Not technically related to me. Aunt 2's sister. Huge nerd. Takes me and my cousin to comicons and conventions. Very nice, 10/10

Grandma: Buys me books and when she found out I was gay got me a gay pride flag. Has horrible music taste. Taught me how to ride horses. 10/10

Grandpa: Funny, supportive, taught me how to play chess. Cooks my favourite foods for me to visit a lot. 10/10

Grandma's Partner: Tells dirty jokes and funny stories that Grandma disapproves of, funny as shit. Annoyed by most kids in my family (me too, honestly, but I babysit them all bc that's what I do) but loves me. Believes in ghosts, tells me about them. Had an abusive dad and refuses to be like him. Super nice 10/10

Grandpa's wife: Does not understand shit. Asks the same question ten times. It's kind of endearing though. Very sweet, if you're patient you'll love her. 10/10

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cilliansaccent · 4 years

Text

Class of Temptation - CHAPTER FIVE

Leave a like, reblog or comment below to show your support and love! Enjoy…

PLEASE READ:

No mention of Cillian’s true family or relatives. All names are made up.

This is a TEACHER x STUDENT fanfiction, it’s going to be kinky and very taboo!

I will write whenever the mood grabs me, so I apologise if there are long breaks between chapters :)

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Background: Tessa is a twenty-three-year-old model from a broken-up family, living in London with her best friend and starting a course on Drama and Theatre. Though, when she gets closer to the super hot Mr Murphy who is her much older teacher, there is a battle of lust and love between them. They’ll have to figure out what to do with their tight relationship as other issues begin to rise and nip at their heels…

Word Count: 1,704

!!Warnings!!: None.

Chapter Name: Tessa The Messer

Brief Chapter Outline: Tessa starts to stress over her work and her studies as well as some very mean girls... She also contemplates on her life.

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As the third week had come to a close, Tessa was exhausted. This week was jam-packed as her and Julain prepared their project together. Which meant many after hours of work together in the library or at her apartment. Esther had also met the guy which she tried to hit on a few times. But Julian had come out to Tessa about being gay, and Tessa had been extremely supportive of him. Their friendship only grew tighter.

But as the weekend neared, she had to take an early flight on Saturday morning to Germany for a shoot that lasted till Wednesday when she had class. So now, in the Taxi, she had to travel from the airport to her uni. It was also pouring down rain and she hadn't brought an umbrella with her. Great. She checked the time, ten minutes late, twenty minutes late, thirty minutes. She got out of the Taxi and shot across the green grounds. She had on some light grey jeans, thigh-high boots, a white shirt and a black leather jacket and an oversized scarf around her neck which she used to cover her hair as she raced into the building. Once in, she took a moment to gather her breath as she dragged her small suitcase with her. She had no time to go home and drop the thing off so she had to go in like this. She could hear Cillian's voice as she pushed open the door and stood there like a moron, "Hi, sorry I'm late." She gulped as all eyes turned to her. "Glad you could make it. Take a seat." Cillian nodded as she sat beside Julian. He gave her a shoulder bump and smiled. She knew Cillian was not impressed with her, she had not been the best during class. Especially with those bitches that sat at the front and constantly making faces or chatted whenever Tessa had to perform a scene. It made her always fumble and she again resorted back into her little bubbled. And on top of that, she had missed two classes this week, almost missing today's class as well. It was also midsemester very soon, and there was to be a small test in the coming weeks Just a theory one, about an hour and a half. Tessa was sort of behind on her work as well, becoming lazy at this point in doing it, especially with her note-taking. And she wasn't going to now ask Julian for his notes, she didn't sit right with that. She wanted to do it on her own. Once class came to an end, Cillian surprisingly didn't call Tessa up after class. So she headed to the library with Julian to do more work on their scripts and sorting out when and where they were to begin their practice together.

It had been now a whole month and a week since Tessa had been going to class, Julian and their play was coming together well but still had a lot to work on as they learned new techniques and ideas. Tessa still kept to herself or kept her head down whenever Cillian called upon someone to act out a scene of their current reading material. On top of it all, her father had sent many more letters to her, telling her of what he was up to and all that. He even had the nerve to send a box of clothing to her in which she simply gave it away. She didn't want to deal with that shit in her life, she had enough on her plate. Her studies and her modelling career took up most of it so she really had no time to dilly dally on stupid things. Even going out with Esther had slowed down as Tessa was always attempting to study her best. Most of the time she passed out on her bed. But today, Cillian was determined to get Tessa back on her feet. He knew she had potential in her, he just needed to force her out of her little bubble. "Tessa," He called out. He was sitting back against his desk, his ankles crossed and the reading material in his hands. He had a black shirt and a green woollen cardigan of some sort on top. He watched Tessa through his glasses, seeing her eyes widen. "Julian. Step up. I'd like you to attempt this scene for the class." Julian stood and urged Tessa to do so, giving her a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder. Tess was shitting herself but she forced her legs to move as she went to stand in front of the class. And began to do the scene with her best friend. She fumbled a lot, overcome with nerves which caused her to drop the book a lot. "Okay, okay. I think that's enough." Cillian stopped them, "Take a seat. Lucy, James. Come on up, let's finish this off." Cillian waved another pair of students. Tessa felt shame heat her cheeks as she sat down, Julian tried to comfort her but she was too much within herself to notice. She just wanted to get out of here, away from the snickering girls who had been hounding her the last week or so. Her dream came true and the class ended. She packed up her stuff quickly as Cillian wandered over, "May I have a word with you?" He asked. "Uhm. I can't. I got uh... a shoot to get to." She lied, shoving things into her backpack. "It won't be long, Tessa. It's quite important." Cillian was worried for Tessa. She had come late for numerous classes now despite the heads up he got. He believed the reason why she was so shaken and scared was that she was behind. "I really can't, sir. I-I need to go." She slung her bag over her shoulder and darted out quickly. "Tessa." Cillian started but she was already out. "I'll talk to her," Julian said, giving his teacher a smile. "Please do. Check where she is at." Cillian said with a deep frown. The girls were already at their spot as they surrounded Tessa who was now backed up to a wall. "Lookie here, girls. Tessa the Messer once again showed us her light." Sofia laughed. "She was about to piss herself." She shoved her. "Just fuck off." Tessa tried to get through but she was pinned against the wall by one of the other girls. "What did you just say to me?" Sofia snapped, gripping her hair and yanked her head back. "Nothing." Tessa gritted her teeth, going still. Memories of her younger-self being treated in the same fashion. All she could was succumb to their hate and abuse. "That's what I thought." Sofia let her go and shook her head, "You better not step out of line." She said as she took out Tessa's wallet and took a wad of cash from it. "This is from your stupidity." The girls stalked off and left Tessa alone. She leaned against the wall heavily, fighting back the tears. "Tess!" Julian jogged up to her, "Hey- What is the matter?" He saw her watery eyes and messy hair. "Nothing. Just tired. Something in my eyes." She rubbed them hastily. "You sure? You know you can always talk to me." Julian reached out to touch her but she stepped back. "I need to go. I don't want to be late." She gulped as she started to walk down the hall. "Tess! Hey! Wait up-" He went to grab her arm but she spun and yanked her arm back. "Don't grab me like that." Her eyes wide and brows furrowed in shock, "I'll talk to you in class tomorrow." She said firmly and stalked off, leaving Julain stunned and confused. She was falling back into that hole of shit and despair. She had gone for some years now without falling, she was recovering and growing stronger and stronger. But the past few weeks had gotten her to tip more and more. The demand for her work weighed on her shoulders and the thoughts and planning for her upcoming assignment pressed harder on her. Esther was in America for another week and she was always busy so Tessa had no one to really talk to. She didn't want to burden Julian either, he had enough on his plate as well with family issues and his work starting to crumble. Maybe this was indeed a bad idea to study Drama. Or maybe her life was just a joke and the idea of her father wanting to return into her life was the badluck. She had no idea. The only idea she had was.... was what? She literally had no idea. Her mind was a cyclone of thoughts and feelings, she had no idea how to grasp them firmly. But one thought stuck with her. In this world, no matter who she worked with... she was entirely alone. Ever since her sisters had left her with their shitty father, Tessa felt alone. Even with her ex, she was alone. She had never felt proper love, no stable love, actually. It would always be beyond her fingers, even with Esther who wanted to keep things casual between them. And whenever she gazed at Cillian... her soul yearned for a gentleman like him. He was kind and caring to all his students, even if they seemed to try and take advantage of him. Whenever he wasn't looking or if they were to work on something, she found herself admiring him longer and longer, almost catching his eyes as well. But it was no use, she wouldn't find someone like him unless she would be seen as some weird young chick lusting after a much older man. She had no time for it. No time. Except she couldn't help but crave those ideas, not even for just love but... a warm, naked body that she could turn to every night. To touch or kiss... She dreamed a lot of those things, but it would always make her sad when she realised how cold her bed was. She was a very lonely girl in a big, vast world. Very lonely, indeed.

#cillian murphy #teacher x student #peaky blinders #thomas shelby #fanfiction #tommy shelby

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