#❝ i'm gonna dance with my hands above my head ❞ ;; playlist

[astaricn]

What kind of love are you?

tagged by: @necromanticdancer

Love as a Flaw

Cowering, your love hides in the dark. In shadows and under cover of night, your love runs from corner to corner, afraid to linger, afraid to be caught. Afraid, afraid, afraid of everything. When you fall in love, it is with alarm bells ringing. Your love is a mistake, a flaw in the code, a purchase you don’t remember making and desperately want to return. You didn’t ask for this. You didn’t want this. It’s a problem–– your problem ––and you would do anything to pass it off, burn it away, scoop it out of you with bare hands, or carved out with hooked knives before it can destroy you. Get it out, just get it out now. You don’t care who you hurt in the process, only that you can’t afford to be hurt first. Being loved by you is to be loved by a figment of the imagination. It is to be loved in halves, or not at all.

tagging: whoever wishes to do it!

#❝ i'm gonna dance with my hands above my head ❞ ;; playlist #ooc ;; dash games #;; owie

[kvtie444]

˚｡⋆ SAY IT

a/n: this song and luv r on Chris's private playlist and im not over it.

warnings: NSFW, sex, oral, fingering, degrading, dom! chris, drinking, drugs

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I glance down at my drink, the ripples dancing to the beat of the heavy bass coming from the speakers near the back doors. My friends dragged me to this LA party, and as we stand by the pool, I spot a few influencers mingling around. Shifting my attention back to my friends, I smooth out my mini dress, just catching up and enjoying the conversation.

"He's such a fuckboy, I can bet you money he's gotten with at least half the girls here," my friend remarks, chuckling. I smile to myself before glancing over at the commotion. Drunk guys were playfully shoving each other into the pool, eliciting squeals from some girls who got splashed. The scene was chaotic, and I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of activity and the lack of people I actually knew here. I needed space.

"Yeah, he lied about a bunch of other shit too," one of my friends mentions, pulling me back from my thoughts. I zone out again, returning to people-watching until a familiar face catches my eye. Christopher Sturniolo. Obviously I knew who he was, even though he didn't follow me back on socials. Instead, he followed my friend, always liking her stories whenever I appeared in them.

As if feeling my gaze, he pivots away from his brothers, his icy blue eyes locking onto mine. My heart drops to my stomach as his gaze trails over my body. A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips, as if he's just now realizing who I am. He runs his hand over his mouth briefly before lifting his red solo cup to his lips, all the while keeping his eyes locked with mine. I bite my lip nervously, feeling the tension thickening between us, before finally tearing my gaze away, breaking the connection first.

I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks, accompanied by the pounding of my heart against my ribs. With shaky hands, I take a final swig of my drink, the lingering taste of Hennessy and Coke swirling on my tongue. I try to calm myself down, reminding myself to relax. Why was I letting everything get to me like this? I needed to chill and just enjoy the party.

"I'm gonna go get another drink," I smile at my friends, excusing myself from the conversation. As I navigate through the tightly packed crowd, squeezing past bodies, I can't shake the feeling of eyes on me. Finally, I reach the doors, the music now blasting so loud in my ears that the lyrics are inaudible, and I can feel the bass vibrating through my bones. Pushing through more people, I finally make it to the kitchen.

I brought my own drink, not trusting any of the beverages here, so my stash was kept safely in my bag upstairs in one of the bedrooms. The only thing missing was a mixer. I grab a bottle of Diet Coke and pour it halfway into my cup, screwing the cap back on. As I do, I feel a chest brush up against my back, assuming it's just some random person due to the crowded space.

Turning around with my cup in hand, I freeze as I come face to face with Chris, towering above me. His eyes seem impossibly bluer up close, and I'm momentarily speechless.

I look up at him through my lashes, feeling the cool marble counter pressing against the small of my back. "Where have I seen you before?" he finally says, his voice smooth as honey. "I came with Mads," I reply, smiling up at him, my head tilting slightly to the side. He nods, a realization dawning on his face. "Y/N?" he asks, his voice turning my name into something sweet and melodic. He knew who I was. I nod in confirmation, offering him a shy smile.

"You look better in person, ma," he leans down closer to be heard over the loud music. The combination of his hot breath fanning over my neck and the endearing nickname sends a shiver down my spine. I feel myself clenching around nothing, my body reacting to his proximity in ways I can't control.

He pulls away, a smirk playing on his lips as he takes in my dumbfounded reaction. The tension between us is so palpable, you could cut it with a knife. Our eye contact is intense, locking us in a silent conversation that speaks volumes. The music that was once too loud to bear now fades into the background, practically inaudible as I lose myself in the depths of his piercing blue eyes.

His eyes break our intense gaze for a moment, flickering down to the drink I was holding, catching a glimpse of my cleavage before returning to meet my eyes. "Vodka coke?" he asks, making an assumption based on the empty bottles of Coke, Absolut and Ciroc scattered around the kitchen. I shake my head, correcting him, "Henny." He raises his eyebrows, clearly intrigued. "Didn't know there was Henny here," he remarks with a smile, leaning in again. My nose brushes against his collar, and I catch a whiff of his cologne - Dior Sauvage. Fuck me.

"I brought my own, it's in my bag upstairs," I murmur into his ear, feeling a surge of confidence fueled by his energy. He shoots me another smirk, flashing his perfect teeth. In the dim lighting, I swear I catch a glimpse of a tooth gem on his canine, his big toothy smile making him look like a little kid on Christmas morning.

"You can have some if you want," I bat my lashes at him, now smiling myself. His broad chest rises and falls with a breath before he licks his lips. "I'd love that, mamas," he replies. What a fiend, but I don't mind. He's fine. Call me delusional, but right now, I seriously think I have a chance.

I move my hand to his bicep, feeling it slightly flex at the contact, before running my nails down his arm, eliciting a shiver from him. Reaching his elbow, I pull him gently, and he follows behind me as I navigate through the crowded room and out of the kitchen. His arm hairs raise against my warm touch as I lead him through the mass of people and towards the stairs.

When we reach the stairs, I slide my hand down his arm to his hand, which he eagerly intertwines with mine, locking our fingers together. I start to ascend the stairs, feeling his gaze on me as we climb. I catch him staring at my ass, my dress riding up slightly, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. As I turn back to him, his grin matches mine, and I continue up the final step.

Reaching the top of the stairs, I let go of his hand and lead him to the guest bedroom door. I push it open, flicking on the light as I step inside, followed by Chris who shuts the door behind him, the muffled sound of music now fading into the background.

I crouch down and retrieve my handbag from under the bed, pulling out the Hennessy bottle. Placing the cup down on the nightstand, I hear Chris walk beside me. He places one of his large, veiny hands on the small of my back, sending butterflies erupting through my body at the contact. He slides his hand to grip around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder as he watches me fill the remaining half of my drink with the cognac.

I take a sip from my cup as Chris leans over, his body craning over mine as he reaches for the bottle. I turn my head to look up at him, our eyes meeting as he takes a couple swigs before setting the bottle back down. With his hand still on my waist, he turns me around to face him, his touch now lingering just above my ass. I take another sip, holding his intense gaze before leaning back slightly to place the cup down, then stepping closer again.

Our chests are practically touching as he looks down at me with a predatory gleam in his eyes, as if I was his prey.

He licks his plump, pink lips before moving his hand up, his thumb grazing my lip. "Had my eye on you for a while," he mumbles, his voice now coarse with lust. I swallow nervously, eliciting a small, "Yeah?"

He hums in response, a low "mm" before tugging my bottom lip down with the pad of his thumb, watching it bounce back into place. His eyes shift up to meet mine for a brief moment before he leans in closer.

Like a magnet, I'm drawn to his movements, leaning in eagerly as our lips meet in a passionate kiss. I taste the Henny on his lips as our lips crash against eachother, his hand moving down to grab my ass, eliciting a gasp from me. He takes the opportunity to slide his tongue in, asserting his dominance without hesitation. His other hand stays on my jaw, his thumb caressing it gently before squeezing a bit tighter. Fuck, he was a good kisser.

As he pulls away from the kiss, a string of saliva connects our now bruised and swollen lips. The intensity of the moment leaves me breathless, my heart racing as I meet his gaze, the desire burning between us palpable.

He leans down, kissing my neck with a fervor that sends shivers down my spine. I feel him suck and slightly bite, causing my breath to hitch in anticipation. As he pulls away with a pop, I hear him admiring the mark before going back in to make it darker. His tongue soothes over the skin before he moves to another spot, eager to leave his mark.

My jaw goes slack as my left hand rests on his shoulder, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, while my other hand finds its way into his hair, gripping it tightly. He nibbles against my collarbone, causing me to gasp and instinctively tug at his hair, eliciting a groan against my skin that sends vibrations coursing through my body.

He peppers kisses up my neck to just below my ear, across my jawline, before crashing his lips to mine again. This time, the kiss is messier, full of teeth clashing and the sounds of our puckered lips smacking against each other, igniting a fiery passion that consumes us both.

His large hands reach below my thighs, giving them a firm squeeze as he effortlessly lifts me up as if I weighed nothing. I wrap my legs around his torso, maintaining the kiss as he carries me over to the bed. With a gentle drop, he lays me down on the mattress before crawling over my body, his chain dangling over me enticingly.

His lips trail down the exposed skin of my dress, his fists gripping the fabric against my hips as he sits back up on his knees, looming over my body for a moment. His eyes are dark and hooded as he grabs my left ankle, hooking it over his shoulder. He gives it a kiss before leaving a trail of kisses up my leg, sending shivers down my spine as he moves closer to where I need him the most.

My other leg instinctively goes over his left shoulder, causing him to smirk at my eagerness. "My girl's so needy," he teases, one hand rubbing up and down my thigh while his eyes roam hungrily over my body. His other hand pushes the bottom of my dress up, exposing my lower half, and my face flushes with heat.

He presses a kiss against my clit over my lace panties, eliciting a whine from me as my hips buck up, desperate for more. The sensation sends waves of pleasure coursing through me, and I arch my back, craving his touch.

He licks his lips before pulling my panties to the side, instantly in awe of the pooling mess between my legs. I feel his breath fanning over my heat, causing me to writhe, craving his touch. As if reading my mind, he finally reaches up, dragging his fingers up and down my folds, collecting my arousal on his fingers.

I whine against him as he pulls his fingers away and sucks them clean. "So sweet," he mumbles, looking up and holding eye contact with me as I bite my lip, desperate to relieve the tension building inside me.

Finally, he drags his thumb up to circle my clit, and my head instantly throws back, my mouth agape. The tension is finally cut, and it feels so fucking good.

He slaps my thigh, eliciting a moan from my swollen lips. "Look at me," he orders, his voice commanding. I squeeze my eyes shut as he speeds up his movements, the pleasure overwhelming me. With a shaky breath, I crane my head down to look at him.

As I do, he moves behind me, circling around my center with his pointer finger teasingly. His once blue eyes are now blown out with desire, sending a shiver down my spine. I grip the sheets beneath me tightly, my knuckles turning white as I succumb to the intense pleasure coursing through my body.

Suddenly, he dips his finger into me, curling it towards and thrusting instantly. "Fuck, Chris," I whine out, the words slipping from my lips like a porn star. He smirks to himself before adding another finger and speeding up his movements.

My jaw falls slack as I watch the concentration in his eyes, the sound of my wetness music to his ears. The sensation is overwhelming, pleasure coursing through me as he expertly works his fingers inside me. Every thrust sends waves of ecstasy crashing over me, and I can't help but moan louder, lost in the bliss of the moment.

I whine in protest as he pulls his hand away, but he uses his grip on my thighs to pull my heat closer to his face. Without hesitation, he dives his face between my folds, shaking his head from side to side. A loud, almost scream escapes my lips as his tongue flicks against my clit at an intense speed, causing me to squirm.

Chris doesn't like my attempt to wriggle away. He lets out an almost animalistic growl, vibrations echoing against me as he grips my hips and pins them down against the bed with a bruising, tight grip. My hands claw at his scalp, tugging at the roots as I'm lost in the overwhelming pleasure.

He moves his tongue down, sloppily making out with my pussy before dipping his tongue into my hole. "Chris," I whine out again, the sensations driving me wild. He repeats the motion, this time going deeper, and I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling the knot in my stomach tightening with each delicious lick.

"Say my name, sounds so good coming out of your pretty mouth. Say it louder, baby," he smirks against me, his voice husky with desire. He moves his thumb up to my clit and starts to press against it, circling it with precision while simultaneously tongue-fucking me.

My grip on his hair tightens in response, causing him to groan against me, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure through my body. "Chris! Fuck, I'm gonna cum," I cry out, tears threatening to spill from the overwhelming sensation of pleasure coursing through me.

"Cum on my face, baby," he mumbles against me, his eyes flicking up to meet mine, eager to watch me come undone. As soon as the words leave his lips, the tension in my belly snaps.

I let out a high-pitched, pornographic moan as I cum around his face, waves of ecstasy crashing over me. The sensitivity becomes too much to bear as he continues to lick me clean, driving me to the brink of insanity with pleasure.

Finally, he pulls away, leaving me breathless and utterly satisfied, my body still buzzing with the aftershocks of pleasure. His chin and lips glisten with my arousal as my chest rapidly rises up and down, trying to catch my breath. Sweat causes my baby hairs to stick to my forehead, a testament to the intensity of our encounter.

He slightly smacks my thigh, bringing me back to the present moment. "You taste so fucking sweet, ma,"

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a/n: this was LOOONNGG but i was so close to using seeet sweet by travis scott for this omg. but lmk if u want a pt 2 u nasty freaks 😏

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tag list !!

@iloveneilperry @bernardenjoyer @daddyslilchickenfingers @mbbsgf @sturnvilmed @s1urnioloslvr @mattsbratt @mangoposts @christinarowie332 @recklesssturniolo @bluesturniolo333 @flowerxbunnie @kenzieiskoolaid @pepsiskiess @poopydroopt @byechristopher @solarsturniolo @m6ttsturniolo @lustfulslxt @stardustmf444 @thankyounextt @glossyfx @bellasturniolo @justurniolos @cl0esblogg @strumbolisworld @strniolosworld @chrisloyalgf @aliyahsbody @spideylovin @justangelheree @sturnioloenthusiast @nickmillersn1gf @soursturniolo@bernardenjoyer@stuniolobbg @luv4kozume@luvmxtt@urmommysbathroom@lexisecretaccx

#chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #angst #fluff #smut #imagine

[heartbreakgrill]

soo, i've an idea for an one shot if you would like to write it.

I was thinking about a Pedro Pascal x reader where the reader is making dinner while is listening some music, and it comes Pedro that wants to "help" them, but the two end up dancing and singing instead of cooking or something like that; yk just Pedro being all flirty and cheesy as always.

Idk if that sounds good but that's what i was thinking about.

dancing in the kitchen; pedro pascal.

a/n: i really hope you enjoy! not super long, but very fluffy <3

"what's on the menu this evening, esposa?"

pedro's voice from the doorway caught your attention. you looked up from the recipe your phone, focused expression growing into a grin.

"hi, baby," you replied as you set down your phone and shuffled over to him.

pedro slid his arms around your waist, and yours came to rest over his shoulders, fingers tugging at the hair curling down his neck. pedro pushed into you, bending you backwards with kisses to your neck, face, hair. you giggled into his shoulder, pushing back until you were straightened in the air.

"stooooop," you complained, though you didn't actually mean it.

pedro groaned in satisfaction that he had you back in his arms. "never! i missed my beautiful woman."

after all these years together, you couldn't help but blush. "oh, i missed you too, baby. however, my stomach is already screaming at me, and i've got to get this recipe going."

pedro squeezed you tighter to his chest, pressing another kiss to your forehead. then, he left you go, "alright, alright. i'm gonna go get showered."

"good, you stink," you jested and poked his side.

pedro gave you a warning look, finger pointed towards you. "watch it, esposa."

raising your hands in a playfully defensive stature, you giggled again, before turning back to the counter. you heard him shuffling up the stairs as you refocused on the recipe.

with a shuffle to your playlist, you began gathering the ingredients needed. just when you finished chopping up the vegetables needed, pedro padded back into the kitchen, shaking out his wet hair with his hands.

you grinned, “feel better?”

“i do,” he rounded the kitchen island, socks shuffling against the floor, and wrapped his arms around you. pedro nuzzled his nose into your neck, peppering kisses to your skin. cornered against the counter, you shoved all of the vegetables into a bowl.

“honey,” you whined and pushed your back begrudgingly against his chest. “i’ve gotta get this going.”

“here, let me,” he quickly took the bowl from you and placed himself at the stove.

“no, go relax!” you turned after him in an attempt to steal back the bowl.

pedro held it above your head, wagging a finger in your face. “i don’t think so, pretty girl. go work on something else.”

“whatever,” you rolled your eyes. before you could walk away, he grabbed the waistband of your apron with two fingers, tugging you back against him.

he smashed a kiss against your cheek, and you giggled at the ticklish display. pedro squeezed you, tight, and let you go. you did as he said, working on another portion of the food, swaying the music playing on your phone.

pedro sang under his breath from his station at the stove. you hummed, too, more so focused on your dancing. soon, his voice carried closer to you, “yeah, get it, mama!”

his chest pressed against your back, and he swayed side to side with you, singing loudly. you giggled and your head landed on his shoulder. he peered down at you and sang sweetly, pointed finger keeping your chin back.

you let go of the spoon in your hand, grabbed his, and kept dancing. pedro spun you around to face him, pulled you close. he held your waist, and your other hand, while your other landed next to your chin on his shoulder. pedro’s left leg intruded your own, ensuring your hips stayed on his, as you moved side to side.

you laughed as his terrible singing filled the kitchen. soon, the song trailed off. you thought you were done dancing until your guys’ favorite slow song ramped up. pedro pulled you back against him, a happy grin growing out of his surprise.

“oh, esposa,” he murmured.

you giggled, pulling your head back to look at him, “what?”

“i just can’t wait to marry you,” he shrugged, a silly expression on his grinning face.

you blushed, deeply, “well, what are you waiting for?”

pedro tugged you back to him, a pep in his step. “oh, just wait. i have…plans.”

the oven started beeping then, and you stepped away from one another to plate dinner. as you were sitting down at the table, glass of wine to your lips, you hesitated from taking a drink.

you looked to pedro, drawing your brows together, “why haven’t you ever said anything?” pedro stabbed a piece of broccoli and paused before it reached his mouth. you continued, “ i mean, i’ve always known. but…we’ve just never realistically talked about it.”

pedro shrugged, a nonchalant frown on his face, “i call you esposa everyday. and it means wife, so…it was always realistic to me.” you sat there stunned, a pleased smile on your face.

it was always realistic to you, too.

#pedro pascal #pedrohub #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x reader #pedrostories #pedro pascal x oc #pedro pascal x you #pedro #pascal

[giggly-squiggily]

Hii! I would like to request lee ikuya and ler hiyori with the sentence starter "What's gotten into you? You've been acting like a child the whole day!"

{Puffs are officially CLOSED}

Ooo, I haven't written for these two in a hot minute! Free's one of those animes I think I'm gonna struggle to write for since it's been so long, but the second I get to it I have an idea in mind! I hope you like it, anon!

Another paper airplane thrown at his head was the final straw.

“WHAT has gotten into you?” Ikuya twisted around, glaring at an innocent looking Hiyori as he buried his face further into his book. “You’ve been acting like a child the whole day!”

In Ikuya’s defense- he absolutely was. If he wasn’t throwing paper airplanes at him, he was dropping ice cubes down his back. And if he wasn’t doing that, he was nicking pens and erasers off his desk when the other wasn’t looking. Sometimes he’d even hit skip on his playlist just to set off the green-haired boy.

It was all in good faith. Ikuya was slowly falling back into overwork mode as midterms approached. This was the only way to prevent that.

“Hiyori!” When no answer came, Ikuya got up to confront him. He took his chance. “Hiyori, serious-LEE!” Their bodies flew through the air when the brunette tackled him, sending them safely into his bed. “What are yo-oohohohohoho! Whahahahhahait wahhahahait doohohohohhon’t!”

“Sorry, can’t hear you- too busy acting like a child!” Hiyori teased, laughing softly to himself as Ikuya squealed and thrashed beneath him, balled fist punching at his shoulders. “You’ve been overworking yourself again. I can’t handle another fainting scare because you forgot to eat.”

“Tahhahahhat whahahhahs oohohohohne tihihihiihime! Aheahhahhaa, Hihihihhioryi pleahhahahhahse!” Ikuya switched from punching to grabbing, trying to shove his friend off. Maybe it was the tickling zapping his strength, or perhaps he was overworked from studying all day- either way, Hiyori wasn’t budging! “Yoohohohou’ve mahahhahde yohoohohour pohohohoint, now stahhahhahhap!”

“Heh, alright, alright.” Hiyori laughed as he did so, pulling his hands away and watching Ikyua curl up. “Sorry, ‘Kuya. This is your own fault- if you took breaks when you were supposed to, I wouldn’t have to pick on you so much.”

“Heh..hehhe..soohohoho thahat’s what it is?” Ikuya sat up, something in his eyes that made Hiyori back away. “I geheht it now…come here, Hiyori.”

“W-Wahhait, whahaht are you doohoohhoing?” The brunette’s eyes widened as he was pushed back into the bed, Ikuya hovering above him.

“I’m taking my break.” He raised a wiggling hand, eyes dancing. “And you’re gonna help!”

#Puffs #sentence starters #tickle #tickle dabble #hiyori tomoe #ikuya kirishima #I love lee!Ikuya so much akjjkraejrkajkerajk #Also realized this wasn't the dabble that got deleted whoops #Free!

[lolohe12]

In honor of Good Omens Season 2 coming out I'm sharing my Very long and ever increasing Ineffable Husband's playlist

Somebody to Love - By Queen: "Take a look in the mirror and cry. Lord, what you're doing to me? I have spent all my years in believing you but I just can't get no relief, Lord... Can anybody find me somebody to love?"

2. (You're The) Devil in Disguise - By Elvis Presley: "You look like an angel. Walk like an angel. Talk like an angel. But I got wise. You're the devil in disguise"

3. Rewrite The Stars - From The Greatest Showman: "No one can say what we get to be. So why don't we rewrite the stars? Maybe the world could be ours tonight"

4. Old Devil Moon - By Frank Sinatra: "Just when I think, I'm free as a dove Old devil moon, deep in your eyes blinds me with love"

5. Earth Angel - By The Penguins: Earth angel, Earth angel, will you be mine? My darling dear, love you all the time. I'm just a fool, a fool in love with you"

6. From Eden - By Hozier: "Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago. Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword. Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know. I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door"

7. Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - By Queen: "Dining at the Ritz we'll meet at nine precisely (One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine o'clock) I will pay the bill, you taste the wine. Driving back in style in my saloon will do quite nicely. Just take me back to yours that will be fine"

8. Take This Waltz - By Leonard Cohen: "And I'll yield to the flood of your beauty. My cheap violin and my cross. And you'll carry me down on your dancing to the pools that you lift on your wrist. Oh my love, oh my love take this waltz, take this waltz. It's yours now, it's all that there is"

9. A Thousand Years - By Christina Perri: "I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more"

10. Black Wedding - By In This Moment Ft. Rob Halford: "I would've loved you for a thousand years. I would've died for you. I would've sacrificed it all my dear. I would've bled for you 'Til death do us part. You were unholy right from the start It's a nice night for a black wedding."

11. Transatlanticism - By Deathcab for Cutie: "The Atlantic was born today, and I'll tell you how. The clouds above opened up and let it out... I need you so much closer"

12. All This and Heaven Too - By Florence and The Machine: "All this heaven never could describe such a feeling as I'm hearing. Words were never so useful so I was screaming out a language that I never knew existed before"

13. Sun and Moon - By Jon Walker: "I could have been a lot of things. I could have seen the world with broken wings. You're the only one who understands. Yeah, you're the only one who understands"

14. When The Day Met The Night - By Panic! At The Disco: "When the sun found the moon she was drinking tea in a garden, under the green umbrella trees in the middle of summer"

15. Still Into You - By Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox: "Can't count the years on one hand that we've been together. I need the other one to hold you make you feel, make you feel better"

16. Come With Me - By Chxrlotte: "And after six thousand years, if the world disappears I'd fight angels and demons to find you, my dear. I hear heavenly sounds in my head when you're near. I'm alright now you're here"

17. Halo - By Ane Brun: "It's like I've been awakened. Every rule I had you breaking, It's the risk that I'm taking I ain't never gonna shut you out"

18. Like Real People Do - By Hozier: " Iwill not ask you where you came from. I will not ask you, neither should you. Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips. We should just kiss like real people do"

19. Time After Time - By Iron & Wine: "If you're lost you can look and you will find me time after time. If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting time after time"

20. Longer - By Dan Fogelberg: "Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean, higher than any bird ever flew, longer than there've been stars up in the heavens, I've been in love with you"

21. The Book of Love - By Peter Gabriel: "The book of love is long and boring and written very long ago. It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes and things we're all too young to know"

22. Heaven in a Place on Earth - By Belinda Carlisle: "In this world, we're just beginnin' to understand the miracle of livin'.Baby, I was afraid before but I'm not afraid anymore"

23. And I Love Him - by Benjamin Gibbard: Bright are the stars that shine dark is the sky. I know this love of mine will never die. And I love him"

24. You're my Best Friend - By Queen: Oh, you're the best friend that I ever had. I've been with you such a long time. You're my sunshine and I want you to know t hat my feelings are true I really love you. Oh, you're my best friend"

25. A Nightingale Sang In Barkley Square - By Tori Amos: "There were angels dancing at the Ritz. And a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square"

#Playlist #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphel #good omens #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #aziracrow #aziraley #azirowley #fan playlist #anthony j crowley #aziraphale #my playlist #Spotify

[wordsinhaled]

drowning in rivers of peace a Dreamling domestic vacation 'verse playlist

so... yes, it's maybe a little extra to make a playlist for a fic i've written probably less than 1k words for so far, but the universe of this fic has basically consumed my brain, so this exists now!

this playlist is dedicated to @anameunmusical as a lil birthday gift! i saw your comment and i know this isn't quite a dream & hob kiss (yet!) but i hope it makes your day at least a little bit brighter! <3

tracks

the cure // miss van gogh glass animals // i don't wanna talk (i just wanna dance) nick leng // lemons glass animals // agnes olivia willhite // runaway man glass animals // helium half alive // hot tea finneas // shelter bombay bicycle club // how can you swallow so much sleep seabear // arms disclosure // where angels fear to tread winnetka bowling league // slow dances half alive // still feel. the japanese house // maybe you're the reason beatenberg // the prince of the hanging gardens zella day // man on the moon hellogoodbye // hang loose joywave // let's talk about feelings the cure // the same deep water as you lowfie // sweater weather (lofi)

selected lyrics under the cut

the cure // miss van gogh

instrumental

glass animals // i don't wanna talk (i just wanna dance)

we kissed in the morning on a summer day you taste like cigarettes and hurricanes there's a warning written in the corners of your face just a minute now there's something different now all your morning sounds, how's it all so loud? put the flowers down 'cause they look like clouds leave me to it then and let your hair grow out now i know it's safe to say nothing's perfect anyway i don't wanna talk, baby, i just wanna dance i don't wanna talk, no more living in the past

nick leng // lemons

how's your city, how's the winter, how's the rain? do you think when you are still, do you read in mornings? there's a window in the sky to pull you back why'd we leave it that way? won't you tell me, please? i can't help but miss you but you're too far to feel that do wishing wells run dry? but did ours have to? does the moon look different here from where you are? you're getting colder from me and i can't hold you that way

glass animals // agnes

your head is so numb that nervous breath you try to hide between the motions that trembling tender little sigh and so it goes a choking rose back to be reborn i want to hold you like you're mine you see the sad in everything, a genius of love and loneliness guess life is long when soaked in sadness on borrowed time from mr. madness where went that cheeky friend of mine? where went that billion dollar smile? i want to hold you like you're mine you're gone but you're on my mind i'm lost but i don't know why

olivia willhite // runaway man

falling asleep at night was never easy to me when i know there are shining stars above my head so i get a running start i'm way up there, way up in the clouds so i'm gonna glide right through the sky 'cause you didn't look back when i said "i love you" so baby, goodbye, and leave me with a sigh you'll eventually hit the ground and even then i'll be waiting for you i'll be waiting for you i'll be waiting for you my runaway man

glass animals // helium

ooh, and i'm falling now but it's so wrong you talk like a man and taste like the sun ooh, you lift your eyes up from the dust i knew just then, i knew it was done i guess i want you more than i thought i did

half alive // hot tea

wanna be here at your door 12 am and sleeping on your porch until you get in looking into your eyes (endlessly) falling into your lap (desperately) sitting at your feet, soaking in all your energy sip you through my front teeth (held too close) hold you in my hands like hot tea knowing i'm safe 'cause you want me sitting in a garden at your feet you, me only i wanna be ruined by love drowning in rivers of peace take it all in life-sized bites i'ma be outside up all night in the stars, pale moonrise longing for everything ooh, right now i wanna be (held too close)

finneas // shelter

there's no one else could ever hold me like you do there's nowhere else that i'd rather be than with you they call us lucky but i think we might be cursed 'cause the way you love me, i could drink the river dry and still die of thirst gimme, gimme shelter from the storm gimme, gimme shelter, keep me warm come kiss me by the delta where the river's torn but i'll be whole as long as i'm yours as long as i'm yours i don't wanna think about a life without you

bombay bicycle club // how can you swallow so much sleep

can i wake you up? can i wake you up? is it late enough, is it late enough? there's a story in which my eyes shut

seabear // arms

you left your black gloves on my table thinking of a way to get you to stay and i'll promise to fight the wind and waves for you i'm an owl with tired eyes i am a scarecrow in disguise and all i wanna do is stay inside and look out the window with you i fell asleep in your cobweb and i'm turning from the lights tonight saw you in a crowded bar, pale with hungry eyes

disclosure // where angels fear to tread

fools rush in where angels fear to tread and so i come to you, my love my heart above my head rush in where wise men never go but wise men never fall in love so how are they to know?

winnetka bowling league // slow dances

i dream about you the way i said i wouldn't if i hung a dreamcatcher over my bed i'd get (my bed, i'd get) a billion alternate endings where you left me and i do, and i do, and i do, and i do still think about you standing in your allbirds singing all the wrong words to "hallelujah" sweatshirt on a warm day tryna keep a straight face that's how i knew you talking with your fast hands saving all your slow dances i wish i was there with you in a moment of curiosity or weakness (my bed, i'd get) you may let me affect you, intersect you and i do, and i do, and i do, and i do still think about you i still think about you

half alive // still feel.

when i'm furthest from myself (far away) feeling closer to the stars (outer space) i've been invaded (can't escape) trying to recognize myself when i feel i've been replaced drifting as i dream, i'll wake up soon to realize the hand of life is reaching out to rid me of my pride i call allegiance to myself but i can feel a kick down in my soul and it's pulling me back down to earth to let me know so pick me from the dark and pull me from the grave 'cause i still feel alive when it is hopeless, i start to notice and this heart that beats inside of me will show floating in outer space, have i misplaced a part of my soul?

the japanese house // maybe you're the reason

should i be searching for some kind of meaning? apathy's a funny feeling i turned my gaze to the ceiling thanked a god i don't believe in for the scene outside i tried my best at sleeping but my dreams were unappealing so i searched for people in the landscape, passers-by i keep looking for something even though i know that it's not there maybe you're the reason every time i try to figure it out you're the only thing i can think about maybe you're the reason

beatenberg // the prince of the hanging gardens

hold me, scold me, extol me, console me through the 90s, and the 80s and the tigris, the euphrates and after all that i've said i want you to know me, i want you to throw me in the river so the clouds that follow my head could finally rain down on all your hydrangeas i never had a doubt that you would come through i always adored you i always ignored you just to make you try harder to do what you do i had to be awful just to keep you from danger come stand at my window with a view of suburbia as it marks out the edges of my opulent grounds i'm rich but i'm troubled there's a worm in my bougainvillea why do you plague me when my ethics are sound? hold me, fold me, cajole me, and release me on the lethe and the ichor through my body babylon, babble on

zella day // man on the moon

i had a dream that the sun in the sky was feeling so lonely he started to cry the rain on our window kept us inside all of the morning and into the night alone in my dream room i want to love you alone in my dream room, my body above you nobody saw us for seven days under the covers, your body a maze i couldn't believe that deep down inside two bodies glowing could light up the sky i'm in your dreams now i'm in your dreams, in your dreams, in your dreams feet off the ground, i'm floating in you

hellogoodbye // hang loose

darling, you don't know a thing until it's hurt you i have never known a thing, not a thing there's not a thing that's purely virtue walking to confession to talk of my transgressions i got chills from a beautiful thought darling, you don't get to bring the only bottle mine is always good and grim, thick and thin to the brim with love and not love i was in the bathroom, putting on a costume it was almost everything i wished that i could be then i was in the bedroom, taking off my costume it was almost everything i worried you would see every time i fell in love i poured every drop i had out on the floor you've got to keep on making love just to fill your cup so you can pour it

joywave // let's talk about feelings

i, i am drowning in love with you i, i hope, hope that is good for you i, i am learning to live again i, i'm done with the fast-paced flower crowned women i, i am falling in love with you i, i hope that is good for you i, i've been in every state but content is foreign soil it's sand i'd love to cultivate i'm just afraid that you'll change me won't run away but i'll have to take it slow don't want to fall silent for long won't run away, i spook out easy though

the cure // the same deep water as you

kiss me goodbye, pushing out before i sleep can't you see i try? swimming the same deep water as you is hard the shallow drowned lose less than we kiss me goodbye, bow your head and join with me and face pushed deep reflections meet and disappear, the ripples clear and laughing break against your feet so we shall be together it's lower now, and slower now the strangest twist upon your lips but i don't see, and i don't feel but tightly hold up silently my hands before my fading eyes and in my eyes your smile the very last thing before i go i will kiss you, i will kiss you i will kiss you forever on nights like this and we shall be together

lowfie // sweater weather (lofi)

instrumental

#the sandman #dreamling #dreamling domestic vacation

[librathefangirl]

️🎶How long will I love you? As long as stars are above you️🎶

Duncan & Brian, Locke & Key

[ID: Gif set of Duncan and Brian from Locke & Key. Gif 1: Fully colored. Duncan wraps his arm around Brian at the dinner table. They both smile as Duncan says "The real adventure begins when Brian gets back from Tokyo. We're getting married". Gif 2 & 3: Black-and-white. Brian hands Duncan a basket of bread. As Duncan talks, Brian watches him, smiling. Gif 4: Fully colored. As they walk down the aisle, smiling, Duncan stops reaches out his hand. Brian grabs it. They continue down the aisle. Gif 5 & 6: Black-and-white. By the dinner table, Brian gestures speaks in Japanese. Duncan gasps dramatically and says "How dare you insult me, sir!". Brian explains "I asked if you could pass that plate over there, please". Duncan says "Oh! My pleasure" and smiles. Brian smiles too and bumps his arm playfully. Gif 7: Fully colored. Duncan and Brian stand in front of the officiant. They grab hands as the officiant says "Friends and family, we are gathered here on this beautiful day to celebrate love". Gif 8 & 9: Black-and-white. By the dinner table, Duncan hands food to Brian, who says "Arigatõ". Duncan looks away, exclaiming "Oh my…" and turn away. Brian responds "What? What? I have to practice". Gif 10: Fully colored. During the wedding ceremony, the officiant asks "Brian, do you take Duncan to have and to hold for as long as you both shall live?". Brian says "I do" as they both smile. Gif 11: Black-and-white. By the dinner table, Duncan explains "I was gonna put 'we're engaged' on a cookie cake, but then I thought that might be lame, so...". Brian nods his head, saying "Yeah". Gif 12: Black-and-white. During the wedding reception, Bode says "I'm happy that now we have an Uncle Brian too". They both smile as Duncan wraps an arm around Brian's back. Gif 13: Fully colored. During the wedding ceremony, the officiant, asks "And Duncan, do you take Brian to have and to hold for as long as you both shall live?". Duncan smiles and says "I do". Gif 14 & 15: Black-and-white. Kinsey hugs Brian, asking "How was the drive?". Brian puts his hand on Duncan's shoulder, saying "Oh, filled with lots of spirited wedding playlist discussion". Duncan jokes "Mm-hmm. Brian vetoed all yacht rock, so basically, the wedding's off now". Gif 16: Fully colored. During the wedding ceremony, Brian and Duncan put the wedding rings on each other. The officiant says "These rings are a symbol, a never-ending circle of the vows you've made to one another". Gif 17 & 18: Black-and-white. During the wedding preparations, Brian asks "Have her friends ever filmed a wedding?". Duncan replies "No, but they shot the most amazing horror film I've ever seen". Brian looks like he doesn't know what to say. Duncan promises "It's gonna be epic. Trust me". Gif 19: Fully colored. During the wedding ceremony, Brian and Duncan hold hands, smiling. The officiant, off-screen, declares "I now pronounce you husband and husband". Gif 20 & 21: Black-and-white. During the wedding preparations, Duncan looks at a note and asks "Well, well, well. Now does this say Josh?". Brian gets up saying "Ooh. Let me see. Let me see". Nina asks "Would you two mind?" Duncan and Brian look at each other, saying "Mind? No. Why would we mind?" and "Mm-mm". Duncan tells her "Just excited to finally meet him". Gif 22: Fully colored. During the wedding ceremony. Duncan and Brian hold each other and share a deep kiss. Gif 23: Black-and-white. Brian puts his hands on Duncan's shoulders and kiss him. Gif 24: Black-and-white. During the wedding reception, Brian and Duncan, talk with their guests, smiling. Gif 25: Fully colored. After the wedding reception, Brian and Duncan walk through a light-up arch, holding hands and smiling. Their guests walk behind them. Gif 26 & 27: Black-and-white. Brian and Duncan slow-dance next to Nina and Josh. They smile, Duncan teasingly saying "The famous Josh". They dance away, Duncan giving Nina a thumbs up. Gif 28: Fully colored. Duncan and Brian smile at each other and wave at their family as they drive off. Cans strung to the back of their car. END ID]

#biggest set i've made yet #28 gifs #locke and key #duncan x brian #duncan locke #brian rogan #locke & key #locke and key netflix #gay #lgbtq #locke and key season 2 #ep: the premiere #locke and key season 3 #ep: wedding crashers #locke and key spoilers #libra creates #my gifs #locke and key gifs #described

[crownrot]

﹟ 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙸𝚂 𝙷𝙾𝚆 𝙸 𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙽 𝚃𝙾 𝚂𝙰𝚈 𝙽𝙾 , 𝙴𝙼𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙴.

❛ fuck the apologies, done being sorry for wanting the things that i want. i broke my back carrying baggage for strangers who only ever did me wrong. was it more appeasing when i was just pleasing? look good on my knees, sucks you're never gonna get me back again. when i got healthy, did that make you hate me? and now i'm never losing sleep, i'm over it. this is how i learn to say no; take your pretty words and go choke. ❜

a life lesson learned a little too late - a falling from grace, in having it good within her first handful of years within the business to . . . the realization that not everyone has her best interest at heart. not everyone believes in her, and not everyone has the intention of helping her get ahead. enter the solution. no is a final answer. can finish a sentence without further explanation if she so chooses; gentility and kindness, following along with whatever's thrown in your direction will have you eaten alive. and just because some charismatic man can throw a few well versed words your direction doesn't mean he's worth half a breath. a prize example of how anna's viewpoint on the world has shifted.

﹟ 𝙶𝙸𝚁𝙻 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝙼𝙴 , 𝙳𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝙲𝙰𝙼𝙴𝚁𝙾𝙽.

❛ nothing makes you smaller than being a big man. you be my revolver, i got you in my hands. almost looking taller when i'm leading in the dance. uh - oh, have you never let a woman do that? you've never met a girl like me before. ❜

surrounded by lumbering giants and men twice her size on a regular basis, and yet anna's demeanor is always that of someone larger. bigger. the scariest dog in the fight, unwilling and unwavering when it comes to backing off. meek is an antonym, the very antithesis of everything she is - add in a dash of not being above wielding those big, strong, scary men as backup or putty in her own hands, and you're unlikely to ever face someone so confident about her existence.

﹟ 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝙰 𝙷𝙾𝙻𝙴 , 𝙶𝙸𝙽𝙰 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙴𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙽 𝙱𝙻𝙾𝙲𝙺.

❛ head like a hole, black as your soul. i'd rather die than give you control. bow down before the one you serve, you're gonna get what you deserve. ❜

this song plays heavily into anna's current distaste and displeasure with how her career has gone - working with the jericho appreciation society has done nothing but leave a bitter taste in her mouth, and with appearances on television spread thin as they've been, also lends a little credence into just why she'd delved into a source of alternative income.

﹟ 𝙸'𝙼 𝚈𝙴𝚁 𝙳𝙰𝙳 , 𝙶𝚁𝙻𝚆𝙾𝙾𝙳.

❛ suck my dick in my fast car, fuck me fast in my fast car. fast car, fast car, nascar. i park my car then fuck my car. oh, i fuck my car. i fuck my car. oh, i'm your dad; i'm your dad. i'm your dad, call me daddy. i'm your dad, and i've got a really big dick. ❜

angry girl rock is anna's niche, this song lives at the very top of her most played on her playlist at all times.

#starrcade.tasks #‹ ✩ › 𝙰 𝙵𝙻𝙰𝙼𝙴 𝙸𝙽 𝙰𝙽𝙶𝙴𝙻 𝚂𝙺𝙸𝙽. 𝅃 abt.

[bbugyu]

if you wanted to go to the moon, he would take you there.

plot twist | crash zoom | happy ending

16.1k (lol) | joshua x afab enby!reader, fluff, humor, suggestive, reader is ace lol, youtuber au, chef au, swearing, drinking, detailed descriptions of meals, mentions of past trauma including sexual assault, i swear it's not that deep, lots of implied sex but none on screen (yet), watching movies and playing video games, yes i am trying to set up all my friends, would anyone get it if i said r&r

welcome to part two of classic!! please enjoy this tooth rotting relationship garbo in which i basically announce to the world that i have a disgusting crush on joshua. posting this later than intended but i started working five tens so i'm 😅 a little tired lol. but joshua makes it ok <3

when you mentioned offhandedly that you had never had bibimbap in jeonju, joshua practically dropped the groceries he was helping you bring up the elevator.

"how long have you been in korea?" he asked.

you looked at him, wide eyed. "four years?"

he squinted at you, jutting his jaw out. "and you've never gone to jeonju? it's, like, the food hub of korea. how the hell?"

"i…" you laughed, exiting the elevator when the doors opened. "i don't know? it's never been top priority, i guess?"

"okay, well it is now," he stated plainly, following you to your door while you adjusted your bags in your hands to punch in the code. as soon as the groceries were safely on your counter, he pulled out his phone. "friday to sunday?"

you looked up from the vegetables in your hands. "what?"

he looked at you. "we're going. this weekend? i need to reserve the ktx tickets."

you laughed. "this weekend? joshua, it's wednesday."

"okay, next weekend?"

you stared at him a second, purely because you were in disbelief. "no, i have a demonstration next saturday."

he exhaled, looking at the calendar on his phone. "okay, and jamie's birthday party is the weekend after, so," he paused, looking at you through his lashes. "this weekend?"

you pushed your hands onto the counter and sighed heavily. "when would we leave?"

he grinned, knowing that meant he had won you over. "after i get off work? i can be here by 3:30."

"how long is the train?"

"uhh," he quickly searched for the tickets. "two hours. less than. we can buy snacks for the ride and have dinner when we get there."

you chewed your lip. "i have to edit on sunday, so we can't stay all day."

he nodded, inspecting the time table for tickets. "stay two nights, leave after breakfast?"

you considered that for a second. "i could bring my laptop and export footage on the train."

a smile crept across his face when you puffed out your cheeks in thought. "is that a yes?"

your cheeks deflated as you exhaled. "fine."

"yeah?" joshua grinned at you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and tugging you into his chest. "jeonju this weekend?"

you exhaled again, your arms reluctantly winding around his torso. "yeah. jeonju this weekend."

"you're gonna love it," he said, pressing his lips against your temple. "i helped on an article about hole in the wall finds there years ago, so i know all the good spots."

you giggled, pulling away to look at him with a quirked eyebrow. "you used to write for the magazine?"

he shook his head at you. "when i was interning."

"aw," you poked at his cheek. "intern joshie?"

he rolled his eyes, separating himself from you as you giggled, and he looked at you slyly from the corner of his eye. "joshie?"

you grinned, reaching out to pinch his cheeks. "joshie!"

he laughed and batted away your hands. "joshie?"

you: i think i'm finally packed

joshie: i don't understand why it was so difficult when we're going for Two Days.

you: 😡

joshie: 😘

as promised, he arrived at your apartment in a cab and stubbornly took your roller suitcase despite your insistence that you could handle it. joshua was always doing things like this - for you, you imagined, he would probably even lay down his jacket in a puddle so you wouldn't have to walk through it. but at the same time, he wouldn't fault you for kicking his jacket aside and purposefully jumping in it instead. he would probably join you, even.

he had joked with you that this would be like a work trip for you, but only because he was the one that suggested you film - plus, he reminded you, filming a full video this weekend meant that you didn't have to film next week. and to be perfectly frank, you wanted the break. if you could have a weekend getaway with joshua and then a week long break to have a normal routine without a camera, it was a win-win.

equipped with coffee and cafe sandwiches, you casually kicked your feet and happily sipped at your americano as you edited a picture of it for your instagram story. joshua sat beside you, also doing something on his phone, and you watched him with no intention as he pulled his airpods out of his coat jacket and offered one to you. you looked at him, smiling when he gestured with the open case again.

"i made a playlist," he said quietly as you put the airpod into your ear. he took the one you left and did the same, tapping on his phone.

the thought of joshua hearing a song and thinking of you making your chest flutter to life, the heat rising through you until you were left in a comfortable glow, smiling softly at him as a melody started in your ear. he looked back at you, double taking slightly when he realized you were looking at him.

"what's that look for?" he asked, a sideways grin breaking his face in half.

you shook your head, unable to change your face. "that's, just... really nice."

"making a playlist?" he hummed, settling back in his seat as you stuck your straw between your lips. "i didn't consciously do it. i just started a list of songs to show you because i thought you would like them, and this ended up being a good time to share it."

you sighed dramatically, falling back against the window of the train. "that's even nicer, you dickhead!" he laughed, shushing you and looking around, worried someone might have understood your slightly-above-inside-voice exclamation. "i know for a fact i didn't do anything to deserve the sweetest, handsomest, loveliest boyfriend on the planet, so what's the catch, mr. hong?"

his eyes went to the ceiling as he thought, kneading his lips once before saying, "i think you forgot funniest, too."

"ah," you said, a dry chuckle following the realization. "that's the catch."

"hey!" he laughed, eyes big as he pretended to be offended. "i know i'm funny!"

you giggled with him, mentally noting that you liked the song that he was playing. that he must have somehow picked up on why you liked the music you did. you thought about how you had the same thought, sometimes, when you were listening to music alone in your room and a song popped up on your discovery that sounded like something he would listen to. how you would immediately text them to him, knowing you would forget if you didn't send it right away, and he would react with some assortment of positive emojis. how he must have been doing the same thing, but wanted to be there when you heard them, and didn't have the same flighty memory as you. you brought your straw to your lips again, staring after him as he adjusted something in his bag, taking too long to refocus your attention to story you had been trying to post.

he later nudged you, getting your attention as you responded to an email on your phone, gesturing his finger with the melody, and you gave him a childlike look of awe, as if to tell him that yes, you agreed, this was exactly the kind of run you really enjoyed. he pounded a fist against his knee at the beats, pointing up at the key change, and you exploded into a stifled laugh, your palm covering your mouth. he laughed with you before he showed you the now playing page on his phone, holding it open dutifully as you quickly searched for it to add to your own library.

as promised, joshua provided great insight for the food tour the two of you set out on. travel day, he had told you, meant that you would have something easy - bibimbap and makgeolli at two of the best places he knew, apparently. by the time you made it back to the hotel room you had checked into before headed to the bar, you just about collapsed onto the queen bed.

"i'm so full," you exhaled, eyes dancing across the ceiling. "i'm never gonna move again."

joshua just laughed at you, toeing both of your shoes aside at the door before shuffling into slippers. "we have a full day of eating tomorrow, so you better move."

you let our a breathy laugh, rolling your head to watch as he flopped onto the bed beside you. "i'm glad you also plan trips around the meals."

he gave you a puzzled look. "is there another way to plan a trip?"

you rolled onto your side, tucking your arm under your head to look at him. "some people like sightseeing. or activities."

his brows were still ruffled in confusion as he looked away from you. "i like looking at food. and the activity of eating food."

you giggled, and his face finally broke to reveal the bewilderment had been a bit all along, his smiling laugh meeting yours.

you walked a lot the next day, and you were grateful for the light exercise to help your digestion a bit between meals. the local famous kalguksu for breakfast, a visit to a cafe for coffee before walking down a historical street together. you filmed with a smile on your face, shaking your americano for camera with a colorful background, just for you to pull down the drink and let the beautiful buildings and trees take the focus.

joshua could watch you forever, he was pretty sure. watching you conceptualise what you wanted this out of the ordinary video to look like, seeing the way you managed to be present with him, joking and giggling on your scenic walk, but squeezed his hand in warning before letting go, telling him quietly you wanted to get a shot. he had seen the way you filmed food, and how you filmed your kitchen, which was incredible in its own right, but this was the first time he got to see your process on the fly. when you went to work, as it were, taking in your scenery and deciding the way you wanted to portray it - more thought went into this than filming at the same barbeque restaurant for the fifth time, but joshua saw the similarities in the way your eyes twinkled when you saw something through your camera lens for the first time, even if only the first time that day. the way you would review the footage quickly, smiling at the way it turned out, but announcing that you were taking a second shot for safety.

then, he took you to another restaurant.

you barely noticed the passage of time, but when he conveniently "happened" upon the next stop on your food tour, you were pretty sure your stomach growled at the thought of eating an insane amount of dumplings, and you smiled at him in a way that made him want to cause it constantly.

if having your pick at dumplings was enough to make you giddy like a child, the night market was life altering. the food stalls were set up like they always were friday and saturday nights, joshua told you, and that meant you got to experience korean street food in a way you hadn't yet. you found the best pad thai you had ever eaten, succumbed to the tempting smell of grilled squid when passing a busy stall, and you even got served alcohol practically in passing, the specialty liquor being offered in a way that was hard for either of you to say no to. after a few too many, you had to stop joshua before he dragged you to a choco pie stall.

"we should eat more first," you said, gesturing to a woman making hashbrowns on a griddle. "while we have free hands. loop back around for dessert and buy some for the road."

joshua tapped his nose, then wagged his finger at you. "smart and hot."

you laughed, pulling him towards the hashbrown stall.

that night, you laid in bed beside each other, talking like you hadn't just spent literally the entire day together. recalling highlights of the day, sharing related anecdotes with assorted friends and family. you didn't even want to sleep - your body did, sure, clearly, by the way it kept interrupting your conversation with yawns. joshua would laugh, then yawn in response, and tell you that you should sleep. you would shake your head, a pout on your lips, and he would just smile and keep talking about whatever the yawn had interrupted.

being in bed with joshua wasn't demanding, nor was it uncomfortable, and you were pretty sure that meant something good.

you were making curry. he had mentioned that it looked good while you were watching some show the week prior and you couldn't get it out of your head. so, even though it was midsummer and far too warm for something as hearty as japanese curry, you decided you needed to make it anyway, if only for your own peace of mind. you invited joshua over to cook dinner for him, and he asked where your camera was when he arrived with your requested potatoes (you had some, except they were older than you thought and started sprouting), but you told him you weren't filming tonight.

"this ones for us," you said matter of factly, giggling when he looked shocked. "i don't film every meal, y'know. sometimes i cook things just for me."

he watched you dump the potatoes into the sink to wash. "what if it ends up being really pretty?"

"josh," you said, looking at him. "i don't make things that aren't pretty."

he asked if you needed help with anything, but you just shook your head and told him to relax. that you had made this a million times, and that you could do it with your eyes closed. he asked again if you were sure, and you laughed, scrubbing potatoes and using your shoulder to get your hair out of your face.

"actually," you said, raising the wrist on which you kept a hair tie. "do you know how? my hands are wet."

joshua smiled and nodded, coming over and pulling the tie off your wrist, careful to not get it too wet on your hand. "how high?"

"ariana," you said, making him laugh as you giggled. "as high as you can manage, but i don't really care."

he just smiled, taking your hair in his hands as you washed the potatoes one by one, and you tried to ignore the way you heart skipped a beat when you felt his touch drift across the back of your neck. he gently gathered it all in one palm at the crown of your skull, brushing through it with his fingers. "here?"

"perfect," you said, chewing your cheek and smiling. he pulled the band over your hair, tying it off tightly and pulled at the hair gently to keep it in place.

his hands glided over your waist, leading his arms to wrap around you as his chin landed on your shoulder. "not too tight?"

you shook your head, smiling. "you're multi talented."

"i have a sister," he reminded you, then put a kiss on your cheek.

you managed to convince him to sit at the counter, and he smiled and laughed with you as you conversed about anything that came to mind. he talked about his latest work antics, and you told him about a café you found the day before that you really enjoyed. he watched you skillfully chop vegetables and prepare chicken, flitting around your kitchen with a familiarity that could only be fostered by time. he glanced at the time on his phone, then looked at the door behind him that led to a bedroom.

"is karol here?" he asked. she normally would have emerged to say hi by now.

you looked at him before going back to pan frying the chicken. "no, she's in busan this weekend with some friends. she'll be back sunday night."

an alarm went off in joshua's head, and he tried not to think too deeply about the fact that you had invited him over while your roommate was away. sex hadn't even been a discussion on the table yet, but not because joshua didn't want it - because, frankly, he wanted it - he was just more concerned about you and your wants. for most things, he felt as though he had learned your thoughts and opinions naturally over the last few months, but outside of a few passing jokes, you hadn't ever mentioned how you felt about sex in general, much less sex with him.

so he stared at you, suddenly unable to ignore the fact that you were wearing shorts because of the weather, but they were hidden under the hem of the neutral toned apron he saw in your videos every week. or the way you smiled at him as you talked, your eyes glinting with mischief when you made a joke at his expense, but only made him laugh and want you more. he stood and came around the island, standing with his hip against the counter as the two of you continued conversing and you added the roux cubes to the pot.

his eyes never left you or your actions, and you noticed the way he inched towards you as your cooking became less involved and began to wrap up. you didn't argue when he put his arms around you again, watching you stir the curry with his cheek against your ear. he wasn't in your way, not even when you reached over to pull a spoon out of a drawer to give it a taste and make sure the seasonings were right, so you instead just enjoyed his presence.

you hummed, licking your lips briefly as you appraised the flavor. "not bad," you said, using the ladle you had been cooking with to pour more into the spoon you had just used to taste. you blew on it, then displayed it for joshua, who looked at you in his peripherals before accepting the bite.

"oh, wow," he said, making you giggle as you put the spoon aside. "that's better than a restaurant."

"thanks," you said, tapping the ladle on the side of pot to get the excess back in the pot, a spot of sauce landing on the back of your hand. you put it on the spoon rest next to your stovetop and replaced the lid on the pot of curry, quickly turning the burner to low. "now we just wait for the rice to pop," you said, spinning in his grip and licking the spot off the back of your hand.

joshua stared at you, desperately wishing in that moment that he wasn't such a damn man, because it was clear in your eyes that it was a completely innocent action. you got some of the delicious sauce on your hand, so why would you wipe it off when a towel wouldn't appreciate it like your tongue would? you wouldn't, obviously. he wouldn't have, either, if it had been his hand. but here he was, gaze fixed on your mouth as you pulled your hand away from it, and one of your eyebrows raised when you noticed.

"can i help you?" you asked, glancing down at his lips when he involuntarily leaned into you.

"i-" he swallowed. "sorry, i'm just-"

in that moment, you registered what his gaze meant. and while you were fairly oblivious to most things, you were far from innocent, so you put your arms over his shoulders and knit your fingers in his hair. "you're just?" you prompted.

there was a chuckle on his lips as he backed you against the counter, and he shook his head lightly. "i just think it's insane how into you i am."

joshua had this way of kissing you that made you think his life depended on it. he kissed you like you were in the final scene of an apocalyptic movie and he had come to terms with the fact that this was the end. like he knew that if your lips left his, he would magically disappear before he could tell you how much you meant to him. like he could stop time as long as he had you pressed against him with his hand on your jaw, but the sun was setting and he wasn’t ready to say good night.

when he finally pulled away from you, you were trying to catch your breath as his hands ran down your waist, and you stared into his eyes. his lips were parted, and his fingers gripped at your hips in a way that you knew meant he wished there were less layers between your skin.

your mind raced, thinking quickly back to how long the two of you had been seeing each other. how long you had known that you were interested in keeping joshua around for the long term. you wracked your brain, thinking about when people normally took the next step at your age, finding a discrepancy in the timing. you had made him wait for so long, but this was the first time you had noticed him trying to bed you - though, this was hardly subtle, so perhaps you had missed signs earlier? hell, the two of you had even shared a bed at this point, but you were pretty sure he hadn't tried anything then, either. you considered the fact that this relationship had gone for over two months without so much as a hint to take the next logical step, and you decided that joshua was definitely the only guy you had met in years that you would be willing to allow under your covers.

"the curry can sit for," you started, blinking rapidly as your mouth caught up to your mind. you swallowed once. "well, until tomorrow, technically, but-"

joshua's lip quirked upward. "did you invite me over to have me stay the night?"

"not-" you exhaled. his tone was slightly accusatory, but only playfully, and you found yourself more flustered by the question than you would have liked. "not consciously, but…" your eyes studied his face. "do you want to?"

"are you kidding?" he asked, making you breathe out a laugh, his forehead landing on yours. "did you not hear me when i said i was insanely into you?"

the rice cooker beeped, drawing both of your attention as it sang out a small tune to alert you it was finished. you looked at joshua. "are you hungry?"

he looked back at you, a smile sneaking on his lips. "i mean, working up an appetite wouldn't hurt, right?"

he let you lead him to your bedroom, which he had only been in once, briefly, when he had helped you put some lights away. the two of you admittedly spent most of your time in kitchens or restaurants, the remainder of your alone time being split between joshua's car and a couch to watch a movie, but joshua thought your taste suited his as he glanced around again, and that he would happily lose time in bedrooms with you. you kissed him again, and he was quick to pull you against his body, leaning into you, making you giggle as you bent backwards at the hips. "josh."

"what?" he asked, giving you a half lidded smile as his hand found your jaw, pulling you back into him. "stop leaning back and i'll stop chasing you."

"i'm-" you giggled into the kiss he interrupted you with. "i'm not leaning back, you're pushing me."

joshua made you feel like you were out of your depth, but in a way that was more exciting than scary. it had been ages since someone had been able to surprise you, or had helped you surprise yourself, but today he was doing both. the last time you had let a man into your heart, it had been less than perfect, especially towards the end, but joshua felt like home. cozy. he made you feel safe. like he wouldn't let you fall backwards unless your mattress was waiting for you.

and when you fell, he crawled over you, connecting your lips again with a hand against your jaw, the other holding himself above you, and you tried to restrain a whine.

"josh," you said suddenly, pushing on his chest lightly, processing fully what was about to happen and a shot of anxiety running through your chest. "c-can i tell you something first?"

joshua paused his motions, studying your eyes, his expression skewing scared. "oh, shit, are you a virgin?"

"what?" your eyebrows creased, a laugh on your lips. "no, what the fuck, josh? i'm in my mid-twenties."

he blinked at you. "there would be nothing wrong with you if you were a virgin in your mid-twenties."

"i'm not a virgin, joshua."

"right," he shook his head slightly. "sorry, i don't know. what were you saying?"

you chewed at your cheek nervously. "i just. i haven't… been with a guy in a really long time."

his eyes examined your face, looking for a hint at what you meant, because if it was only what you were saying, he didn't understand why you were so worried. "okay?"

"like, really long," you reiterated.

"baby, i promise," he said, forehead against yours. "i promise you, i don't care."

you exhaled sharply, wishing you could just enjoy things normal people did. that you knew what people wanted out of these encounters innately, instead of having to overthink them. "like, i don't want to… i don't know. disappoint you."

"disappoint me?" his head bobbed backwards in shock. "how the hell could i ever be disappointed when you're you?"

your eyes shut, grateful that he could still make you smile when you felt so out of your league. "i just mean that i-" you paused, trying to figure out how much you were willing to say, and how much you could without ruining whatever mood had been fostered here. "i just don't really do this. like, i feel like i don't know how."

"baby," he said, pressing his lips to yours briefly. "honey, sweetie, darling," he continued, punctuating each name with quick pecks. "you could starfish and i would have the time of my life."

you laughed, a hand landing on his shoulder sharply as he smiled at you. "okay, i'm not that bad, jesus."

"i'm telling you," he assured. "i don't care. i don't care if it's been months or years or forever, i don't care." he paused, appraising your expression. "we don't have to do anything. i'd be happy to just kiss you for an hour and a half if you're not ready."

"no," you whined, crinkling your nose. "it's not that, i just…" you took a breath. "i might just need you to take it a little slow."

"well, baby, you're in luck," he said, giving you a teasing smirk as his lips closed in on yours again. "slow and steady is exactly how i want you."

karol had said you hated men. she hadn't been wrong. you hated a lot of men, and how they made you feel like a prisoner in your own body. you hated the men you had encountered in your past, who made you feel small and weak. ugly and only wanted for one purpose, disrespecting your boundaries, your presentation, and your being. you hated those men, and nothing would ever redeem them for you.

joshua was different, though. he wasn't like them, because even though you didn't say explicitly why you needed a little extra care, he was more than prepared to give it to you. without even needing specific direction, he paid special attention to your reactions. to your body. he waited until you were ready, and asking him for more. and even when he sheepishly admitted that he'd started carrying a condom in his wallet the month prior, you could only giggle and silently be overwhelmingly thankful that he was truly nothing like any man you had ever been with before.

you swore you had made the same recipe you always did, but your curry tasted sweeter than you remembered. maybe it was just that you were eating it in your underwear with a man that made you feel comfortable in your skin for the first time in forever, a home improvement show remaining unwatched on your tv as the two of you joked together.

joshua woke the next morning in your empty bed, and was only confused for a second as he looked around your white walls. he stretched once, then sat up, eyes meandering over your orange patterned rug (one he remembered describing as "groovy" when he had first seen it, which had made you laugh in that way he adored), then noticed your laptop had been turned on. it was saturday, he realized, and you were likely going to edit today so you wouldn't have to tomorrow. he decidedly did not peek, though he wanted to, and peeked out your bedroom door instead.

you were easy to find, standing in your kitchen with an oversized shirt on and your hair pulled out of your face as you formed rice balls. you looked up from your work, smiling when you saw him, placing the triangle of rice you had just made on the cutting board. "good morning!"

it was, he thought. it was a really good morning.

you teased him for hugging you in your kitchen while he was only wearing underwear, saying that he seemed to have made himself comfortable quickly. he just playfully ran his hands under your shirt, saying, well, what about you, then? making breakfast with no pants on?

"i live here," you said, giggling and using your hip to bump him away. "i pay rent. what do you do?"

his eyes darted away from yours as he thought. "sit still, look pretty?"

that made you laugh. "you are very pretty."

he grinned, taking the opportunity to pull you into his chest again. "you, too."

he looked at what you had made, noticing the pot on the stove for the first time.

"soybean paste soup," you said, reacting to his gaze, then pointed at the neat triangles of brown tinted rice in front of you. "mushroom riceballs, and i'm making tamagoyaki next."

joshua blinked at you after processing everything. "do you do this every morning?"

"not every morning," you giggled. "but i wanted to today."

weeks later, you were biting your pinky nail to oblivion as you scrolled through comments on the video you had posted earlier that morning. you were sitting on the couch in joshua's living room, your laptop perched on the arm and your boyfriend fixing something to eat before the two of you sat to watch a movie. you had made a risky move in your video - one you thought would have been fine, but clearly people read more into it than you expected. joshua came over for dinner earlier in the week, when you had made pasta with all the delicious fresh seafood the two of you had found at a market the day before, accompanied by a simple salad and white wine. karol was working late, so you had set some aside for her, but that meant it was just you and joshua in frame when you filmed your usual table setting shot.

people were speculating.

you knew it was inevitable, and a few comments had pointed out the man that had eaten sushi with you in the vlog that included your first date, but at this point, the comments were flooded with questions and hypotheses on who the mystery man could be. most assumed boyfriend - which, while true, made you feel slightly annoyed - and a few wondered if he was your brother, or close friend, but they all noticed that his hands and voice had become regular guest stars on your channel. that, while you still got meals with krys and karol, this nameless, faceless man sat opposite you more often than anyone else.

the jeonju vlog is what sparked the most comments. people suspected some amount of intimacy when they realized this guy was travelling with you, too, and you probably would have thought the same if it had been someone you watched regularly. you had been careful with the editing, only including clips with food and the scenery shots that didn't star him (while you had filmed a lot that did, those were just for your own personal record), but you supposed it was in peoples' nature to try and find a romantic plotline in your slice of life.

"josh?" you said suddenly, pulling your pinky from between your teeth. you heard his vague noise of acknowledgment and spun around on the couch to watch as he cocked his head at you from the kitchen. "should we go public?"

"uh," he paused, looking at the scallion pancake he was cooking, quickly grabbing the panhandle to flip it. "give me, like, two minutes and we can discuss? i'm almost done in here."

you puffed your cheeks out and nodded, turning back towards your computer. "okay, baby."

when joshua came into the living room, the spread he had quickly put together across a tray you had bought for him (because you wanted it, mostly, but karol would kill you if you brought more home), he put it on the coffee table and sat next to you, quickly addressing the subject again.

"people keep," you paused. his eyebrows raised, prompting you, but he only chewed on his bottom lip to let you take your time as you hugged your knees to your chest. "people keep assuming you're my boyfriend anyways, so i'm just thinking-" you exhaled sharply. "should we just say fuck it? just confirm that we're a couple?"

joshua studied you. "you've always been pretty private."

you chewed your cheek, putting your lips against your knees. "that's on purpose."

"you don't have to say anything you don't want to," he reminded you, rubbing a hand against your back. you put your chin on your knees and gave him your biggest doe eyes, making him smile. "they can speculate all they want, but you don't owe them an explanation."

you nodded lightly as you hugged your legs and looked around, briefly studying the tray joshua had brought over. he had quickly stirfried some vegetables, grilled the frozen pork belly slices he always kept on hand, and even cooked your favorite premade scallion pancakes, the spread complete with several side dishes you had made together earlier in the week and two bowls of rice. your brows knit together, fingers itching to film how neatly he had put together a light meal for the two of you because you had said you wanted to show him your favorite movie without interruption, and he knew you would be hungry soon.

"would you-" you cleared your throat, looking up from the food and finding his eyes. "what do you think i should do?"

he let out a breathy laugh. "does it matter? you'll do what you want anyways."

you whined, pushing his shoulder as your feet dropped from the couch. "i'm serious, your opinion matters here. would you be okay with being public?"

"you're joking, right?" he laughed, adjusting his posture, and grabbing your hand to folding it between his. "baby, you know i care about you, right?"

your lips pursed as you nodded, looking between his eyes shyly.

"and you know i would never try to say that i, like, own you, right? like, i don't claim ownership over you as a person."

you let out a short laugh. "right."

he held your hand tighter. "i want to tell every viewer of every single one of your videos that you are mine."

your cheek puffed out as you smiled. "really?"

"especially the reply guys, oh my gosh," he rolled his eyes, making you laugh. "there's a place i think you'd like! i could take you, smiley face. yeah, get lost, creep. move along."

your palm landed on your cheek as you laughed. "shut up, are you serious?"

"you don't see those?" his eyes wide when you shook your head. "baby, there's so many people trying to take you out in the comments. so many."

you giggled, pressing your lips together. "well, there's only one guy that gets to."

"that's right," joshua said, a proud look on his face. "the ultimate reply guy fanboy."

you pushed his chest, laughing again. "shut up."

you decided an faq would do, but in the style of your regular videos. you definitely didn't want to just sit down in front of your camera and talk through questions and answers - that wasn't your style, and would feel wrong uploading. so instead, you spent a few hours compiling questions you had been asked often and organized them in a way that made sense, planning on showing your daily life. questions like what camera you used, what your go-to quick breakfast is, where you bought the clothes you liked - it was easy to plan them out to create a vague storyline of your standard day. you woke up on a wednesday (a day you went to the studio, because many of your questions were about what goes on there), excited to film but slightly nervous. as you set up your camera for breakfast, your phone buzzed on the counter.

joshie: good morning, baby! you got this! can't wait to see you tonight 🥰

you: 🥺🥺🥺 thank you!

the day went well, filming your planned clips on the subway and at the studio, and when your coworker asked what all the questions you were filming for were, you sighed.

"normal stuff," you said quickly, taking off your apron after several hours of cooking and shooting. "favorite recipes, what equipment i use… y'know."

yunhyeong nodded at you, his eyes squinting slightly. "is that all?"

he knew you. he knew how you reacted when you were nervous. how you could practically hide it from anyone, but that certain subjects would always make your eyes look slightly panicked and your speech speed up. the worst part is that you knew he knew, and your facade was almost immediately broken.

"and if i have a boyfriend."

he stared at you for a second before he laughed in disbelief. it took him over a week of bugging you about the guy in your videos before you admitted you were seeing someone, and even then, you only did because joshua had started picking you up from the studio and - against your wishes - introduced himself to your coworkers. yunhyeong thought about how protective you were of your privacy, and how you had never revealed something as personal as a relationship online before - partly because none of the people you had gone on two or three dates with had been serious enough to reveal, but he mostly thought about how you barely even showed your own face. that you stayed mostly silent when you filmed, and if you had to speak, it was a voice that was only adjacent to your usual cadence, as if you were trying to create another barrier between you and your online persona. how you had mourned your grandfather's passing and uploaded your vlog like normal two days later, but called out of work for the week following.

"and you're telling the truth?"

you exhaled, wiping down the stove top now that it had cooled. "yeah, shua and i discussed it. people are speculating, anyways, and it's not like he's going anywhere any time soon."

yunhyeong nodded again, organizing the spices as he put them away. "i'm happy for you."

you looked at him. "what do you mean?"

"it's a big step," he said, purposefully keeping his eyes from you so you didn't get self conscious. "you haven't been this serious about someone the entire time i've known you. i think it's really great that you found someone you care about."

you watched him spin bottles to be label out as you considered his words. "thanks."

he peeked at you, smiling. "of course."

yunhyeong's words rattled in your mind as you walked to the restaurant joshua had agreed to meet you at, filming your feet as you went with the intention of answering a few random questions with on-screen text in the edit. someone you care about.

you thought about how joshua had said the same thing about you when you had asked if going public was something he would be comfortable with. the way it has made your heart flutter. you wondered, briefly, if perhaps this was something more than just caring.

when you were editing the video that saturday, you procrastinated on the last question as long as you could, and when it was the only thing left to do, you escaped to the kitchen to make lunch in favor of finishing the part that was haunting you. your bagel sandwich was delicious, but you could barely enjoy it, mind clouded by the task that made your anxiety peak for seemingly no good reason.

it took you too long to finish it.

when you showed it to joshua, wanting his blessing before you uploaded, he couldn't hide his giddy reaction.

"it's okay?" you confirmed, studying his face.

he nodded at you, lips pushed together into a lopsided smile. "it's really cute."

"cute?" you asked, clicking through the video. "that's good, right?"

"yes," he laughed, squeezing your shoulder to put a kiss on your head. "it's great. post it."

so you did. and while you had gotten a tiny bump when krys excitedly dragged the two of you onto her stream that afternoon, you had no way of predicting the way the rest of the internet picked it up a few weeks later.

"r/relationshipgoals," jeonghan read off his phone, leaning against your kitchen island along with several of your friends that had come over when they saw the two of you on their newsfeeds unprompted. "'cross post from r/cutecouples, the most heartwarming boyfriend reveal you'll see this year.'"

"twitter, too," karol announced looking up from her own phone, seated in a barstool beside him. "you're a twitter moment. people found the clip from krys' stream, even."

you were on the counter opposite them, kicking your feet nervously to the beat in your head as you chewed your lip. you sighed and covered your face. "how long is this gonna last?"

"a while, hopefully," krys said, turning your laptop screen towards you. "your subcounts are insane right now."

you whined into your hands, making joshua appear at your side to put a hand on your spine. you took a breath at the touch, relaxing your tensed thighs on the counter. "it's okay to be nervous," he muttered at you. "but it's also kinda exciting, right?"

you exhaled deeply, letting your hands fall and your eyes trail to his before a smile broke on your face. "kinda."

so after you calmed yourself down, you managed to go through some of the posts about you, and you surprised yourself by letting them put a smile on your face. even the idea of having a public relationship had scared you shitless less than a month prior, but this… this wasn't so bad. seeing twitter repost the same video of you filming your feet as you walked into a restaurant, panning the camera up to reveal joshua sitting at a table and waving excitedly at you. the cuts you made to show clips that had landed on the cutting room floor of past videos - the footage you had taken of him pointing out the new wok you had started using a few weeks prior in a kitchen specialty store, and the goofy face he revealed after holding it in front of himself as he brought it back to you. the video of joshua grasping your hand, panning up to his playfully serious face as he dragged you down a boardwalk in jeonju, gesturing to the sunset. the unedited audio from your first date, when you had said something about it looking really good, and he had said something along the lines of how it would have been a waste if you hadn't recorded, and the two of you giggled together in a way that nervous new couples did. short bits of you swinging your camera around to reveal a laughing joshua as you tried to film quiet shots. a clip of him wearing a triangular menu on his head like a hat, acting as though it was completely normal.

you had a hard time believing anything you ever did would be viral-worthy, but even you had to admit, this was a pretty understandable thing for you to go viral for.

besides, it felt like it made sense for this to be the one thing about your personal life that ended up getting attention. it felt like he was an innate part of you at this point, and that you wouldn't be honest if you hid him.

it was august when he broke your heart.

"how could you?" you asked him, staring in disbelief. "you haven't seen lord of the rings?"

"okay, i lied," joshua said, still washing the dishes. "i saw them when i was a kid, but i don't remember them really."

"well, we're fixing that."

he looked at where you were sitting on his kitchen island - a well known habit of yours at this point. "today?"

"not today," you said, poking your toe at his hip. "this weekend, maybe? if we start now, we'll be watching til you go to work tomorrow morning."

he shut off the faucet and gingerly placed the pan he had just washed on the drying rack. "how many movies is it? i thought it was just three."

"it is," you said, laughing at his shocked look. "the extended editions are around four hours each."

joshua exhaled, leaning against the counter as he used a cloth to dry his hands. "you're lucky i like wasting hours with you."

you grinned, hopping down from your seat. "you're lucky i let you."

and that weekend, the two of you did just that - waste time, ordering delivery food for two meals as you camped out on the couch in various positions as the two of you got comfortable repeatedly. you couldn't help but recite specific lines, mouthing along with every word gandalf said like you had thought of the words yourself. you pointed out behind the scenes facts along the way, even, excitedly saying viggo broke two toes when he kicked that helmet, or how faramir's flames were a mirror trick. joshua watched you, because while he knew it was your favorite movie and he really should pay attention, he couldn't help but get distracted by his own favorite movie, and it starred you getting excited about something you loved.

you slept later than joshua that sunday, and when you emerged from the bedroom, you spotted krys sitting at the island with a plate of waffles in front of her, then found joshua leaned against the counter with a cup of coffee. he smiled when he saw you.

"i made breakfast," he said, gesturing to the counter.

you looked around at the spread as you walked over to him. waffles, fruit, bacon, and the promise of a fried egg upon request - a spread worthy of your own brunching standards. "what about second breakfast?" you asked quietly, in accented english.

joshua laughed, his arm wrapping around your midsection as you came over to kiss him good morning. "elevensies?" he shot back, in the same vague accent.

you broke your serious face to giggle. "luncheon?"

"alright," krys said, voice raised in annoyance when the two of you looked over at her. "i get it, y'all are in love or whatever, but can you have some respect for those of us who are lonely?"

you rolled your eyes, laughing at the fact that she had absolutely brought this upon herself by forcing the two of you together every chance she got, but joshua went cold when he heard her say the thing he had been thinking for a while, but was too scared to say out loud. the thing he felt when you grabbed his arm and told him that if he wouldn't let you carry the ring, then you could at least carry him with all the same dramatics as one samwise gamgee did. when you cried as frodo and bilbo sailed into the sunset for good, even though you had seen it a million times over. the sneaking thought that he was in love with you, but didn't know how to say so. he swallowed down the thought, shaking his head when you raised a questioning brow at him as you dished up a plate of waffles and fruit.

it didn't take you long to trust joshua enough to give him your door code so he could let himself in, but it took him a while to actually use it. he said something about not wanting to intrude, but you told him it was more intrusive to make you come to the door when you could possibly be doing important things and he was completely capable of getting in on his own.

"babe?"

you hissed. you had the thought right before you started this boss battle, that he would arrive before you finished and you would be trapped at your computer. you were right. "in here! gimme like two minutes!"

you heard him enter your room, and his bubbly laugh when he spotted your back at your desk desperately clicking your mouse and striking your keyboard. "wow, is this what you meant by important things?"

"please, please, please," you whined, intermittently squealing as you reacted to the enemy attacks. "i'll get off in a second i just need one more cleansing heart to ascend xin- fuck! not the stupid birds!"

he laughed again, his hand finding the back of your shoulder, thumbs pressing into the constantly sore flesh. you winced as he kneaded his fingers into your shoulder but exhaled, making him laugh lightly when you got knocked over by a boar. "hey, there's a boar there."

"yes, thank you, joshua." you quickly cracked a knuckle as soon as you had down time, sticking your neck out as he continued to massage your shoulders. "i think i have two more waves."

"waves? because it's a water level?"

you groaned into a reluctant laugh. "no shitty jokes right now, i'm trying to focus. normally krys and i co-op this one but she was busy."

he hummed, moving to stand next to you with his hand resting at the base of your neck. "wonder what she was doing."

"don't you live with her?" you teasingly asked, glancing up at him for the first time while sprinting across the platform, your game camera spinning uncontrollably when you suddenly pulled both hands to your mouth and gasped. "what the fuck, joshua?"

he stifled a grin, but it was completely obvious in his eyes as you stared up at him, blonde hair curled lightly to stay out of his face. "what's up?"

you stood from your chair, inspecting his head. "what the fuck?"

he laughed, wrapping his arms around you when you ran your fingers through his bleached locks hesitantly. "do you hate it?"

"i-" you blinked at him repeatedly. "what? no, i don't hate- what the fuck, joshua?"

"what?" he whined, eyebrows tenting at you even though his lips were still smiling. "does it not suit me?"

you held his head and squinted at him. "josh, you're hot. you look hot. but what the fuck?"

he laughed, finally planting his hello kiss on your lips. he watched the gears turn behind your eyes, puckered lips becoming a pout.

"did you go to a salon?"

he grinned. "krys did it."

you made a fist at him, scrunching your face for a second as you exhaled, looking down at the screen right as your last team member died, respawning at a statue. "that's why she used so many smiley faces when she said she was busy."

he put his lips to your cheek, smiling into your skin. "not bad though, right? you got a pretty handsome boyfriend."

and while you would have loved to roll your eyes and tease him, you were overtaken by a giggle as you turned your head towards him again, the tip of his nose gliding across your cheek. "yeah, i do."

his eyebrows went up. "wow, wasn't expecting you to admit it so readily."

you laughed, a light, carefree laugh, your palms on his jaw as you kissed him. "i have eyes, joshua." he just smiled against your lips, lacing his fingers together behind your tailbone, and you pulled away slightly to look up at his hair again. your hands went to his nape, fingertips against his scalp. "how long did it take? you have thick hair."

"we did three sessions," he said. "enjoy it while you can, it might fall out."

you laughed with him, brushing your fingers gently in his bangs again. "it feels fine, though?"

"yeah, i made this incredible discovery that i'm almost positive i'm the first to hear about it. it's called a hair treatment."

you batted at his chest, giggling. "shut up."

"make me," he said, the sweet smile on his lips making the phrase more playful than suggestive.

"i can't believe you surprised me with bleached hair," you said, plopping into your seat and exiting the game. "you know i hate surprises, right?"

"that's too bad," he said, his hand returning to rub against your neck. "i like surprises a lot. get used to them."

you puffed out your cheeks, sighing slowly. "usually people compromise."

"not on this," he stated. "i'm a gift giver."

"yeah, i figured that out when you got flowers sent to the studio on our one month anniversary, then again on our second, then here on our third…"

he was just smiling smugly at you when you stood again, maneuvering around him. "and you love getting them?"

you rolled your eyes, not even commenting when he playfully patted your butt as you went by. "they're always tasteful and it's nice to have some seasonal flowers for the counter."

"so you love them," he repeated. "because it sounds to me like you love them."

you laughed, reaching out to catch his hand in yours and pull him along with you as you exited to the main living area. "and what if i do? so what, joshua hong, if it makes my heart beat a little fast when we suddenly get flowers delivered and i realize it's the fourteenth? are you gonna call me a hypocrite because i vocally advocate that traditional chivalry is bullshit?"

he just listened to your playful accusation, more proving that you were self aware rather than egging him on. "no way," he said plainly. "you can still think traditional chivalry is bullshit, it won't stop me from trying to make you smile."

you felt your face heating up, your jaw dropping slightly to let out an annoyed huff. "cheesy, joshua. i'm offended."

"want me to make it worse?" he asked, wrapping his arms around your waist.

your hands landed on his chest as you squinted at his grin. "i'm scared."

he gave you a crooked grin. "happy one hundred days. i brought sushi."

your head whipped over to the counter, spotting the paper bag with a familiar logo. "from nori table?"

"of course, from nori table."

joshua had promised jeonghan that you would make an appearance as a couple at a party he was throwing the next day, and you found yourself almost nervous. you got on with jeonghan famously - almost enough to drive joshua insane - and you even warmed up to seokmin pretty quickly, but from what you had been told, jeonghan enjoyed partying, and you didn't really like getting drunk.

"you made it!" seokmin grinned big, spreading his arms to signal for you to let him wrap you in a hug. you laughed and greeted him, enjoying the friendly comfort, then watching him hug joshua after he let you go. "and you're blonde! life's good?"

"yeah," joshua said, making eye contact with you briefly as his fingers tangled with yours. "life's good. you?"

seokmin blinked before he said "yeah, good!" and your brow knit slightly before you consciously adjusted your face to hide the analysis of his hesitation happening behind your eyes. "this is your first time here, right?"

you nodded, smiling and following him as he led you into the crowded apartment. "yeah, it's been busy lately. but i finally made it to one!"

"well, you need to meet my friends," he said, continuously looking back at you even as he walked ahead, towards a corner of the living room. "you're gonna love them."

"aye, josh!"

you looked to the source of the call, spotting the guy pulling himself to his feet from his seat on the couch, arms wide in greeting to your boyfriend.

"hey, hosh," joshua said, a sideways grin on and his brows tented as he gave him a quick handshake into a hug. quickly, he put a hand on your opposite shoulder, pulling you towards him and quickly introducing you.

soonyoung initially went in for a hug after your introduction, but immediately noticed the way your eyes widened slightly and instantly pulled his arms down, leaving a hand extended for you to shake. you laughed, taking it, and apologized for not being a hugger.

"no worries," soonyoung laughed, and you wondered if he was always this pink in the face or if he had already started drinking. "seokmin will hug me, right?"

"everyone!" seokmin ignored him, pulling you towards the people gathered on and around the couch. he announced you to his friends then quickly went down the line - soonyoung, seungkwan, jihoon, dongmin, yugyeom - you repeated the names back to him like you would remember all of them, even though you knew you wouldn't unless they became regulars in your life, too.

jeonghan flitted by and expressed his greetings to you both some time later, intending to abscond with joshua for drinks and conversation elsewhere, but he stopped jeonghan from pulling him away before he put a hand on your elbow, looking at you meaningfully.

"i'll be okay," you told him, smiling. "go ahead."

he squinted at you. "you sure?"

"seokmin's here," you reminded him, nodding your head at the boy you had practically adopted as your own brother. "real quick, about soonyoung-"

he quirked an eyebrow at you. "what about him?"

you chewed your lip, smiling. "karol's been a little too focused on work lately, right?"

his eyes widened, thinking about your roommate. his eyes went to the man you had referenced, who was currently chanting something into seungkwan's face as he rolled his eyes. "karol?"

"what do you think?" you asked, looking back at soonyoung.

he blinked. "i think he'll drive her insane."

your eyes shone at him. "i think she'll love it."

he laughed incredulously, registering that you had asked his opinion instead of just doing whatever pleased you, and he wondered if that meant you trusted him. "you're right," he said finally. "try it."

"of course i'm right," you said, giggling against the quick peck he put on your lips. "remove him, jeonghan."

"finally," an impatient host shot back, rolling his eyes in a way that landed in a sly smile at you. "for what it's worth, i think your plan will work."

"didn't need your approval, but i'll take it," you said, smiling smugly at him. "i'll update you later."

the update you gave the next time you saw him, weeks later, was that karol had left the apartment every week since to go be with soonyoung somewhere fun and exciting, and you waved her off with a shiteating grin every week, culminating in the two of them arriving to krys' birthday party hand in hand.

jeonghan laughed, stealing a carrot stick from your cutting board as you arranged them into a rainbow themed charcuterie platter. "knew it. soonyoung loves women stronger than him."

you looked at him as he took a bite. "and karol loves someone she can take care of."

"look at us," he said, waving the half eaten carrot between the two of you with a lopsided grin on his face. "what a duo. we should hang out more. fuck joshua."

you laughed at him, then at the offended look on your boyfriend's face as he walked past. "now?" you asked eyebrows raised as you looked at him expectantly, and he laughed when he realized what the last words out of jeonghan's mouth were seconds before.

"please, this is a child's birthday party," he reminded you, and you laughed at the overexaggerated look he gave you to sell the joke.

you looked over to where krys was laughing with seokmin, soonyoung, and karol, then back down to your work as you nudged around quartered figs with a vague smile on. "seems like the kids are having a nice time."

jeonghan sighed, falling dramatically against the counter. "oh, to be young and in love."

joshua laughed. "karol's our age."

his cheek was planted in his palm, elbow on the counter as he gazed after the group. "i'm talking about seokmin and krys."

"what?" joshua asked, voice nearly cracking, and you let out an explosive laugh. "seokmin and who?"

"stop acting stupid," jeonghan waved ahand at him, then popping his eyes up to catch your look of solidarity. he pointed at you. "see? we're on the same page, which means we're right."

joshua looked at you and you raised your hands in surrender. "are you serious?" he asked. "my sister and-"

you landed a hand on his face, effectively shutting him up as you giggled. "shush, josh. just leave it, okay?"

"good idea," jeonghan sighed, straightening and picking up the platter you had finished. "dining table?"

"please," you responded, looking back and giggling when joshua looked just as dumbfounded as he had before you looked away. "she's an adult. seokmin's a good guy. let it happen."

he closed his mouth, stealing a glance at his sister. "he is a kindergarten teacher."

"and both your best friend and your partner love him," you reminded him. "she could do worse."

he gave you a look. "she has done worse."

"shut up," you said, pushing his shoulder in your friend's defense. "you've done pretty bad, too."

his eyes went to the ceiling, remembering the accidental altercation you had been forced to have with one of his more regrettable exes. "how many times do i have to apologize-"

"you don't," you laughed, putting your hands on his cheeks and focusing his eyes on yours. "but krys is an adult. she's allowed to judge her own partners, and even if she ends up being wrong, she's old enough to make her own mistakes."

joshua huffed, knowing you were right but not wanting to admit it. "sorry i'm trying to protect my one and only baby sister."

"yes, and you're adorable," you assured him. "best big brother ever. but it's her birthday, and if you don't start getting drunk soon, she'll be very upset."

drinking with joshua was fun. because he wasn't much different than yourself - he didn't get crazy, he didn't get loud. he just got loose. he let stupider jokes out, and he was more willing to join in on krys' performative comedy bits throughout the night. you found yourself falling onto a couch with him, giggling as he caught his breath after a particularly involved musical number.

the most fun you had drinking with joshua was in itaewon, long past midnight but still what you considered halloween. you had been dragging karol with you for years, but now you had a boyfriend, and she had a boyfriend, and you both had a new joint best friend, so it only made sense for you to get them all take the train ride out to your favorite part of seoul.

ratatouille. that was the only way you could get joshua to go with you. he wanted a couples costume and he wanted you to be the rat.

"this feels backhanded," you told him.

"do you want to be linguine?" he asked. "i can be sexy remy. i can find grey hot pants, but you have to be the one to attach the the tail because i have no idea what my butt looks like."

you laughed, resigning to your fate and buying the outfit online, then looked at him suddenly. "liar. i know you check yourself out at the gym."

"okay," he said, eyes on the ceiling as he herded a giggling you into his arms. "then… i want it to be accurate, so you need to attach it directly at my tailbone." he cocked his head at you after you settled into the hug. "i have to be wearing them, obviously."

"obviously," you said. "but unfortunately, i already ordered the body suit."

josh pressed his lips together and made a quick fist in victory. "awesome. i-i mean! aww, well, that's fine, i suppose." he sighed dramatically, convincing absolutely no one that he hadn't wanted this outcome all along. "i'll be linguine."

"i don't feel like fighting a bunch of gays in itaewon for your affection anyways," you said, making him laugh and kiss your cheek quickly before pulling away.

"grilled cheese?"

"is that even a question?"

it wasn't a question when you were weaving through throngs of bunnies and angels, either, holding hands with both him and his sister to not lose them in the crowd, karol and soonyoung trailing behind krys, all five of you on a mission to get carbs in you after starting the night off nearly too strong.

halloween in itaewon was different. it was special, you thought. you usually didn't like crowds, but this one felt good. halloween wasn't a celebrated holiday in korea, but with internet, influencers, and immigrants, the culture found its way into the new age scene. you loved an excuse to celebrate your favorite characters by paying them homage, and joshua had thought that was a noble enough reason for him to justify staying up too late and drinking too much.

you had just left the diner themed bar that you devoured griddle top sandwiches from, as well as another drink, and you spotted a familiar angel making a beeline for you.

well, not you.

"how many times have i tried to get you to come to itaewon with me?" jeonghan asked, pushing joshua's shoulder as soon as he could reach it.

joshua laughed, looking shocked by the sudden appearance of his friend. "you never agreed to be remy!"

jeonghan looked at you, and burst into laughter, making your jaw drop in indignance and whacking your fist against both their arms. "at least we're original. way to put in the effort, han."

he shrugged bringing a straw to his mouth, and you eyed the pink liquid that had clearly been funnelled into a water bottle. "i look better than all these clowns and you know it."

"there you are!"

jeonghan spun, the straw still in his mouth. "shit, i haven't lost you?"

seokmin gave him a sarcastic laugh, adjusting the shoulder of his soccer jersey as he walked up behind him, quickly adding to your small circle as he greeted you and joshua. you stepped aside suddenly, revealing the members of your party that had been lagging behind. "o-oh! it's all of you!"

you made brief eye contact with joshua, who was trying to not laugh at your less than subtle attempt. "you match!" you said quickly, pointing out that krys was dressed as a baseball player. "baseball, soccer," you trailed off, looking around for help.

"sports couple," jeonghan said loudly, slipping you a quick look. "cute."

soonyoung had to put his entire palm over his mouth to stop himself from exploding into giggles when seokmin went red in the ears and krys tried to change the subject as kindly as she could manage.

when you finally made it back into joshua's room, it was far too late (early? you could think about it more, but you preferred resigning to the fact that the passage of time was beyond you and moving on), the sun already starting to light the sky as it prepared to break the horizon. when you stole his toque of his head, he put his hand on your waist, backing you up against the closet door and gently working his lips onto yours.

you giggled, your arms landing on his shoulders. "aren't you tired?

"yeah, but," his eyes fluttering over your face. "i just really like you."

you were smiling when he pressed his lips to yours again. "i really like you, too, but we've been at a sweaty block party all night and we need to shower."

"together?" he asked, a spot of childish hope in his voice. "singular shower?"

you sighed on his lips, playfully threading your fingers against his nape. "if you want?"

the hot water felt especially good after trekking home in the cold without a jacket. and even though it was just meant to be a shower, he kept kissing you like it was something more, pressing you against the tiled wall and running his hands all over your shape. you couldn't stop giggling. pushing his hands away, saying you need to wash up, but giving him looks like you wanted him to keep going. you were running your hands over his chest, rinsing away suds, when joshua couldn't help but put a hand at the base of your neck, tipping your head slightly to deepen an already heated kiss.

"cut it out," you muttered against his lips, feeling them curve despite your eyes staying shut.

"cut what out?"

you looked at him, barely processing anything other than how incredibly handsome he was, even with his lashes stuck together with moisture and his hair slicked back against his head. "trying to fuck me in a shower stall."

he laughed teasingly, leaning into you again. "then why'd you agree to come in here with me?"

your back hit the tile again, and you giggled. "to save water."

and then he's kissing you again, a hand steady on your nape as he worked you open, tongue lapping against yours with a desperation that could only mean one thing. you whimpered dumbly, the squeaky whine escaping you with no difficulty as your hands ran up his chest, your grip longing for any amount of him you could get.

his lips leave you abruptly, asking if this was too much. if you wanted to stop. but you shook your head at him, hands eager to feel more of his shoulders, his neck, his scalp, despite your legs starting to give out. steam drifted between you when you told him your legs felt like jello from your full shift of partying, and if he didn't want to hold you up, you should probably take this to bed.

you were giggling as you frantically dried each other off, stealing kisses that were far too deep to be so short and longing touches that could have been interpreted as purposeful drying if you squinted hard enough, but felt much more like careful teasing. his hands felt right running up your body, and your hair was still damp, but that didn't bother either of you when you fell into bed together.

"i cant believe you want to fuck me when i was dressed like a literal rat," you teased.

he laughed, tugging your thigh up on his hip as his nose nuzzled against yours. "a sexy rat."

you giggled, lips parting when he kissed you. "a rat from a pixar movie."

he didn't miss a beat. "a sexy rat from a pixar movie."

you roll your damn eyes at him, and he just laughs, knowing that it mattered very little what you were wearing before, because now you were bare, clean, and safe in his bed, which was exactly where he wanted you for the rest of forever.

the sun was past its peak when you woke, stretching your sore spine and legs with joshua's arm draped over you. his hand seemed to wake before he did, finding your hip and squeezing gently as he took in his signature first breath of the day.

"g'morning." you smiled at his soft voice as he squinted at you, and you rolled into him to plant a kiss on his lips.

"it's almost two," you said finally.

he groaned, burying his face in the pillow. "too early." his grip around you tightened, making you giggle. "nap time."

you whined. "i wanna make coffee before it gets too late."

"i said nap time," he muttered, face still against the pillow.

"baby, i have a headache."

his head popped up, squinting at the bedside. "there's water."

you laughed incredulously. "i need caffeine."

he just pulled you tighter. "i need you here."

"wow," you said, wrapping your arms around him as he snuggled into your chest. "would rather i suffer from a caffeine headache for your own selfish need to cuddle than let me escape for two minutes to make a coffee and come back?"

he smiled, rubbing his cheek against your sternum. "mhmm."

you giggled, carding your fingers through his hair and resigning to a few more precious moments of uninterrupted snuggling before you could relieve the vague aching in your temples.

he did eventually let you slip out of his grasp, and you asked if he wanted a coffee, too, to which he just blearily blinked at you and nodded once. you laughed, finding a shirt in a drawer and pulling it over your head before exiting to the kitchen.

you hit the kettle first, having a craving for a hot cup of coffee rather than the usual iced, grabbing a mug and glass from a cabinet. the espresso machine sat on the long counter against the windowed outer wall, and your eyes danced across the outside world as you made the two coffees. when you returned to the bedroom, joshua was on his phone, and when you cleared your throat, he dropped his phone on the pillow and pretended to be asleep, complete with a loud snore.

you giggled, sitting on the edge of the bed and nudging him carefully. "get up or i'll put the glass on your neck."

he winced at the idea. "evil," he stated plainly, flopping around to comfortably sit up and taking the iced coffee from you.

you sipped your coffee and put it on the bedside table to swing your feet back under the covers. you shoved at the pillows to support your back as you sat, grabbing your coffee and phone to begin your weekend morning routine of checking the news as you sipped at an americano. "i brought you coffee in bed at two pm. i think i'm pretty saintly."

he gave you a fake laugh, making you giggle and push your foot against his leg under the covers in a half hearted kick. "is that why you said 'oh, god' so much last night?"

you groaned. "gross, joshua. and for the record," you said, eyeing him slyly as a smile broke out on your lips. "that was this morning."

"time is an illusion," he declared, taking a gulp from his coffee and setting it down to get more comfortable beside you as you began to read an article. "are we doing anything today?"

you shook your head, eyes still focused on your screen. "nada."

"nothin'?" joshua fished.

"zilch," you concluded.

"rad," he decided, a light tone in his voice as he grabbed his phone to resume whatever he had been doing before you returned. "do you wanna order breakfast?"

you let out a breath, your head falling back as you looked at him. "yes, oh my god."

he laughed, and his eyes ran over your face in a way you recognized well at this point. to you, it was him just smiling back at you, and you liked that it reached his eyes. but to him, it was the way he looked at you when he was memorizing all the little reasons he adored you, and it was getting harder for him to pretend it wasn't more than just simple adoration.

"question," he started, eyes darting away from yours as he licked his suddenly dry lips and swallowed quickly.

"pasta," you said immediately, pulling your phone to your chest as you gave him your biggest, most convincing eyes before a finger came up to demonstrate a point. "and before you say that's not a breakfast food, i would like to remind you that it is 2pm and i had to sit through a hundred of your italian food puns yesterday despite ratatouille being set in france."

he laughed, and you gave him a confused look. "we can get pasta, but that wasn't the question."

your eyebrow quirked. "what other question could you possibly ask me right now?"

unknowingly, joshua let his face settle into the same look he was giving you less than a minute earlier. "would you want to move in?"

your eyes ran over his face repeatedly, trying to register how serious he was as you considered the idea of staying in this comforting bed and presence for the indefinite future, and even you couldn't hide how nice that sounded. the only thing stopping you was that you couldn't bear to leave karol alone. you had been living together for over four years now, she had been your first roommate in korea, your best friend for years, and an inexplicable source of quiet but understanding comfort for you.

"i understand," joshua assured you, placing his hand over yours after you expressed your hesitation. "i don't know what i'll do with myself when krys decides to move out."

you nodded, studying his face but mind wandering to other things. "krys," you hummed, and he eyed you.

"what genius plan is that brain brewing?"

you shook your head, brushing the thought out of your mind - the thought that krys had said something about needing to find a new place soon. the thought that she had said she was never gonna properly grow up when josh was taking care of her, whether she wanted him to or not. "nothing."

but it wasn't nothing. it was a compromise - you and krys would swap leases.

"are you sure?" you asked her, elbows on the island as krys ate the donuts you had anxiously made that morning. you had brought up the idea to her days before, and she excitedly agreed, but something about it felt too easy to you.

"yes," she assured you, wiping her bottom lip clear of powdered sugar. "i swear, i'm sure. how many times do i have to say it?"

you chewed your cheek. "i don't want you to feel like i'm kicking you out."

"you're not kicking me out," she said matter of factly. "i'm moving out. it just happens to be the same day as you're moving in."

you pouted. "and you're moving into my apartment."

"yeah," she said, nodding. "i get to pay lower rent and have south facing windows in my room. i should feel bad about kicking you out."

it took almost a month to organize everything, but by early december you were just waiting for the date. you purposefully scheduled for a weekend, in order to not disrupt krys' streaming schedule and your video uploads, since you had planned to do a separate moving vlog about safely packing tableware. the weekend before, krys came over to her soon-to-be home for your usual monthly brunch.

flipping pancakes that day felt a little somber, knowing it was the last time you'd be cooking brunch while living with karol. you had been with her for four years, and it felt surreal that you were finally parting ways like this. not only that, but you were moving in with a guy. the idea itself scared the shit out of you - cohabitating with someone other than karol. you'd be sharing a room. sharing a kitchen. sharing all of your space - normally, that would scare you away from agreeing, but something about joshua made you feel safe. he made you feel like you would never try to get back the distance you generally held so dear.

months ago, the idea of sharing space like that while trying to decompress would be unimaginable, but recently, you found alone time with joshua just as healing as alone time with yourself, so the idea of being able to snuggle into his side every night actually put a warm feeling in your stomach. you looked at your friends, who were laughing and drinking bloody marys as you tried to keep up with their conversation. your brain swirled, and you looked back down at the strawberries you were cutting, suddenly realizing you had never felt that way about a boy before.

"woah, you okay, babe?" krys bobbed her head downwards to check your face. "are you crying? i thought only onions did that to you."

you threw your head back, sniffling noisily trying to force the tears back under your ducts. karol stood. "oh, my god, what's wrong?" she frantically put down her drink and rushed around the counter to your side.

"wait, yeah-" krys shook her head rapidly, then reached over to take the knife out of your hand, her face creasing into a worried pout. "what's going on?"

you gathered yourself, embarrassed at how quickly you had cried so hard over such a stupid realization. you almost laughed, realizing what a scene you were making. you never cried. you weren't even sure either of them had seen it before now, yet you were ugly sobbing over something that they all probably already knew.

you swallowed harshly, clearing your throat. "i think i'm in love with josh."

krys and karol always knew you didn't truly care about the gender of your hypothetical partner, but that you had avoided men for a reason other than your attraction to them. they knew you gravitated towards women for practically your entire friendships with either of them, they knew that you never liked to get genuinely drunk and instead took care of the rest of them, and they knew you had never been very interested in sex. these were all known facts about you, and your friends understood that you kept the reasons for these facts close to your chest. they respected that.

but you finally wanted to share why. and the why was your ex.

when you had imagined telling your closest friends about your trauma, this certainly wasn't the situation you expected - crowded around the kitchen counter as your pancakes went cold, and only because you had burst into tears. it wasn't the right place, you thought, for you to talk about how he got you drunk. how you were practically asleep. how you tried to push him away but your body was weak with intoxication and you were powerless against him. someone you trusted. someone you loved.

you had always been the type to fight your own battles. you could stand up for yourself without difficulty, yet he made you scared of men. of what they could do to you. he reminded you that despite your effort to air on the androgynous, you had a body that some people might enjoy against your will. he made you want to hide everything about you and your body, wearing baggy shirts and oversized hoodies every chance you got, avoiding the unwanted gaze of men.

but recently, you've been wearing shorts more. you cropped some old shirts you never got use out of anymore to wear to your weekly yoga class. you had even bought a schoolgirl outfit for exactly one purpose, which had been entirely out of your comfort zone until roughly two months prior, but you had happily worn to please a man.

but in your defense, joshua hong was not like most men.

his appreciation of your body never felt predatory, and it always felt like it was bested by his appreciation of your mind. he didn't treat you like a prize, or like you were his for the taking. he appreciated your body as yours. while you may have found yourself the subject of his desire, you were never an object, and it had been a long time since you had felt comfortable wearing the clothes you liked in favor of opting for whatever would hide the most skin.

krys was crying. karol was too, but she was more focused on hugging you tight as you wiped off the tears that had trailed down your face. krys rounded the counter, loudly vocalising how much she loved you and everything about you, and you laughed out loud as she let out an exaggerated wail.

"actually, though," she said, pulling away slightly and sniffling. "drop the address. we're rolling up on this guy tomorrow."

you laughed again, wiping at your face when your arms were free. "wouldn't even know where to find him now."

"good!" karol declared. "fuck that guy! cut him out! you're a bad bitch!"

krys pouted. "i'm really happy josh helped you heal."

you stared at her for a second, registering that she must have been right. you eyes swam over the counter, thinking about all the times he had helped you feel more comfortable with yourself. with everything. enough to let someone in. enough to love. "i guess that's what this is, huh?"

karol cleared her throat. "so, you love him."

a grin broke out on krys' face, and your eyes immediately rolled. "you love him."

"you love him so bad."

"you wanna marry him and make adorable little hong babies."

"oh my god," you said, pressing the backs of your hands into your eye sockets, annoyed laughter on your lips as they bounced off each other. "you guys suck."

joshua started acting… odd. that was the only way you could describe it. there was nothing specific you could name - maybe the way his eyes were moving slightly too quickly from side to side? or maybe it was the way he inhaled a little extra when you asked him what was up, only for him to push his lips into an exaggerated pout and insist that nothing was. whatever it was, it made you watch him a little bit longer, your eyes squinting slightly more than usual.

you called him the day before, asking if you could bring some stuff over in hopes of making the next day as easy as possible, but his response was quick and surprising.

"what do you mean, no?" you laughed, putting down the wooden tray you were deciding the fate of. "do you have a girl over?"

you could hear him faltering on the other end. "and what if i did?"

"good luck getting her to make you breakfast."

he laughed. "i'm kidding. i have a guy over."

"oh?" you asked. "jeonghan?"

"shut up," he chuckled out. "i'm having something installed, but it was supposed to be a surprise."

"joshua," you reminded him, thinking of what the hell he could have meant by something. "i don't do surprises."

"you do now."

you groaned, a palm landing on your counter. "what is it?"

"a sex swing," he said plainly, as though that were the most obvious fact that you could have questioned, and you practically choked on your laughter, not even letting him confirm that he was joking before you were folded over your counter. and quite frankly, you could not wait another day to let him make you laugh like that as a routine.

you finally seceded, but you were glad when joshua arrived - the suv he rented loaded with krys' things - because it was a signifier that the distance between you and said surprise was shrinking quickly. soonyoung had become a surprisingly helpful voice of reason as you went through your piles of tablewares, telling you which ones to leave behind and which ones to take with you. seokmin had even arrived not long after the suv in his own car, a few brightly colored belongings in his backseat. you and karol exchanged a look when you realized he had volunteered to help krys move, but said nothing out loud, knowing she would do nothing but deny the obvious.

after yours and krys' affects were swapped in the car, you looked around one last time before telling josh you thought that was it.

"wait!" krys faltered, realizing she didn't have a good reason to stop you. "i- uh,"

"they know there's a surprise waiting for them," he said, digging the rental keys out of his jacket pocket.

karol looked to you. "do you know what it is?"

"of course not," joshua stated proudly before you could respond. "i'm like a steel trap."

you laughed. "that's definitely not how that phrase is meant to be used."

he raised a brow at you. "that doesn't change the fact that you could never get that info out of me."

"they absolutely could," karol said.

"for sure," krys agreed.

"i just wanted to let you have this," you admitted.

joshua looked between the three of you with his jaw slightly dropped, and seokmin put a hand over his mouth while crossing his arms to disguise the almost laugh on his lips.

"well, i want to see your reaction," krys decided. "so i'm coming."

"wait," soonyoung asked, putting down the retro boombox he had been investigating, among the other things that had been brought from the loft. "like, the surprise?"

"does everyone know about this but me?" you asked, hands hitting your sides in exasperation.

seokmin looked at you with wide, confused eyes. "i don't."

you lifted your hands in a vague prayer towards him. "thank you for your solidarity."

"i wanna see your face, too!" soonyoung said, ignoring you both. "you're gonna freak."

"joshua," you started, turning to him with a look of dread on your face. "what the fuck did you get?"

"i told you!" he exclaimed. "a sex swing!"

there was an excruciatingly long second of silence, making your palm land directly on your face - just above your eye - before seokmin let out a surprised, "a what?"

"he's kidding," you announced, much to the teacher's relief. "and if he's not we're breaking up."

it was decided that the entire party would move to the loft for the surprise reveal, and you watched your friends pile into seokmin's car with your palms sweating slightly and your molars gently gnawing at the fleshy party of your cheek. because, truly, you didn't handle receiving gifts well when you knew what they were, but you didn't have a single clue as to what could be waiting for you in your new home, and that made you a little nervous to have an audience for your possibly piss poor reaction.

joshua's hand found yours on the drive to the apartment. "you okay?"

you blinked and looked over at him, his eyes catching yours between glances at the road. "i don't do surprises."

"so you've said," he nodded. his fingers squeezed at yours lightly and you exhaled. "do you want to know before we go in? you can just act surprised."

your felt your face soften, registering what he was offering you. "joshua, you don't have to do that-"

"i know," he said. "but if it makes you more comfortable, then…"

"no way," you said. "i'll just stop being a baby. you set up a surprise, the least i can do is participate the way you want me to."

he eyed you, then the way you laced your fingers with his. "but you are a baby."

you rolled your eyes. "shut up, no i'm not."

"my baby," he clarified, and you let out an involuntary giggle.

he was guiding you into the kitchen, his large hands placed over your eyes and covering most of your face by proxy, and you didn't quit your playful complaints for the crowd of your closest friends that had gathered around, their presence obvious despite your vision being impaired.

"ready?" joshua asked.

"josh, i literally hate surprises, do we have to do all this?"

"yes," he said frankly. "because i'm doing something nice for us and you're going to love it so can you shut up and let me do this the way i want to like you told me you wanted me to?"

you paused, hearing the way your friends stifled their laughter as you took in a deep breath.

"ready?" he repeated.

"yeah, i guess," you sighed.

the light was harsh when his hands left your face, and you blinked repeatedly at the kitchen that you spent countless hours in, registering what was different. then, it suddenly clicked, the stovetop joshua had always had was replaced by the blue vintage styled range of your dreams.

"joshua!" you gasped, hands going to your face as you spun to look at him, then back at the range. "you bought me a lacanche?!"

he grinned, hands snaking around your waist from behind as you stood frozen in place. "i bought us a lacanche."

seokmin leaned over to krys. "what's a le conch?"

she reached up and put a finger over his mouth, eyes fixed on you. "shh, they're communicating."

you rushed over to the range, joshua following behind you as you ran your hands over the polished chrome handles that you had stared at on the website for years. "and it's all hooked up?"

he nodded, eyes on you with a smile on his face. "tested it last night."

"without me?" you asked, incredulous.

he laughed. "i didn't want to ruin the surprise by burning the loft down directly after."

your finger fidgeted on the handle, looking over to joshua. he gestured for you to go ahead, and you pushed and spun the knob, lighting a burner and squealing. you shut it off again before launching yourself into a hug.

"joshua!" you wailed, arms wrapped around his neck as he laughed, putting his around your waist. "i love it so much ican'tbelieveyouboughtusafucking lacanche range in portuguese blue for no goddamn reason!"

"there was a reason!" he laughed, letting you pull away slightly to study his face. "it's a housewarming gift. i want you to know this place is yours, too, now."

you did your best to suck the tears back into the ducts they belonged in, trying to not show just how much the gesture meant to you in that way, but you were sure one escaped down your cheek when your hands went to the base of his skull, pulling him into a kiss. you forgot the context of the move. you forgot about your friends that had been excitedly crowded in your new kitchen, anticipating your over the top reaction to what they saw as just a new stove. you, however, were overwhelmed by the specifics - the fact that he had picked the color you chose most often when building your hypothetical dream stove on the website you frequented more often than you would ever admit. the fact that it matched the details on the tile of his kitchen backsplash, a detail you hadn't even noticed when you were looking at them online. the chrome vintage knobs, the layout of the burners - everything was exact to what he had seen you dream about, and you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the love and care that expressed, hoping you could tell him just how much it meant by working your lips against his.

"ok, gross," krys announced, looking away when the two of you didn't pull apart. "i'm saying goodbye to my wallpaper and we're leaving. would anyone else like to pay their respects?"

seokmin raised his hand, his eyes on the ceiling, and krys grabbed his arm and retreated towards the hall, karol telling them to hurry as soonyoung put up a hand to obstruct his view of you and joshua. when you finally pulled away, it wasn't for their reprieve, though they reacted as though it was. it was so you could look into joshua's eyes, creased with the grin on his face as you gave him a similar one, and you couldn't wait to cook with him, on your, plural, portuguese blue lacanche range, with chrome classique handles, four gas burners, a griddle, and a warming drawer. and it would be your best brunch yet.

#caratwritersclub #svtredroom #this part hits lol #seventeen fluff #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #joshua hong imagines #joshua hong fluff #joshua hong scenarios #joshua imagines #joshua scenarios #joshua fluff #fluff #i wrote dis #yes all the banners are based off movie posters #is this actually funny or am i just stupid #josh

[astaricn]

Tags

#❝ think i forgot how to be happy something i'm not but something i can be ❞ ;; vis #❝ i'm starvin' darlin' let me put my lips to somethin' ❞ ;; ic #❝ i'm a man of wealth and taste i've been around for a long long years stole many a man's soul and faith ❞ ;; abt #❝ ten thousand candles couldn't light all the darkness in my heart ❞ ;; aes #❝ i belong to here where no one cares and no one loves no light no air to live in ❞ ;; isms #❝ i have heard enough of these voices almost like i have no choice ❞ ;; hcs #❝ i can be the subject of your dreams your sickening desire ❞ ;; desires #❝ even with nothing on bet i made you look ❞ ;; wardrobe #❝ i'm gonna dance with my hands above my head ❞ ;; playlist #❝ tell everybody i’m on my way new friends and new places to see ❞ ;; main verse #❝ i broke my chains there's more to do and i still want to live ❞ ;; freedom verse #❝ everybody knows that home is where your teeth sink love ❞ ;; ascension verse #❝ pull me by my hair so i don't go nowhere ❞ ;; pre game verse

[vannahfanfics]

Hewwo!! So I found this Rarepair heaven, and absoLUTELY fell in love with it! So much so that I decided to request something for the first time ever! I'm sorry if you're not taking requests right now, its totally fine if you ignore this forever, but...but..would you mind doing a BakuJirou fic? It could be about anything and everything, but I really need some BakuJirou fluff to blow my mind right about now! Thanks in advance!!

Ahhh, thank you for the praise, Anon! Thank you for your patience; here is your BakuJiro story, and I hope you like it enough to request again sometime!

Urban Harmony

The rain drummed rhythmically against the sloped roof of the bus stop booth. Through lidded eyes, Kyoka watched the water stream down the frosted glass sides; the sparse light played across the running water, making rippling ribbons of white dance across her form. They frolicked over the cozy fabric of her knitted gray sweater before jumping down to the denim of her ripped skinny jeans before diving down to her Converse, where puddles of rainwater were beginning to accumulate from the day’s torrential downpour. 

Most people would enjoy the pattering of the rain, the squeaking of the tires against wet tar, and the humming of the car engines blending into a strangely soothing urban harmony. However, Kyoka preferred her own soundtrack to her daily grind; her earbuds were nestled snugly into her ears pumping heady rock music into the canals. She bobbed her head to the beat, mostly oblivious to the people trudging by clutching their umbrellas and splashing the puddles with their rain boots. Sheltering from the rain while listening to her favorite music had a certain catharsis to it, one that was making Kyoka sleepy and slightly wishing for time to stop for just a little while. 

The harsh scrape of sneaker soles against wet concrete rose above her music, prompting her to tear her gaze away from the hypnotizing waterfall-like stream of rain cascading down the glass wall of the bus stop. A boy was trudging toward her, his arms buried in his hoodie pockets and his head hunched down. A backpack rustled on his back, looking laden with books. He lacked an umbrella, so the rain beat down upon him with a fury, soaking the red fabric of his jacket a deep maroon. As he glanced up, she could see vermilion eyes peeking out below sodden ash-gray bangs. 

They were more mesmerizing than the falling rain, and her heart fluttered. 

“This seat taken?” he grunted, speaking loudly to overpower her earbuds. Kyoka shook her head firmly and slid to the side of the bench to give him more room, or maybe to push herself as far away as she could from his intimidating aura. The boy plopped down on the bench and dropped his book bag on a dry patch of concrete with a weary sigh, leaning back and stretching out his legs just enough to not be obnoxious. As he tipped his head over the back of the bench, Kyoka watched the rise and fall of his breaths with pinkening cheeks, swearing she could see the muscles rippling beneath the fabric. 

“Fuck,” the boy groaned, not aware that Kyoka had turned down her music to listen to him. “Shoulda checked the weather forecast today… I’m gonna be pissed if my textbooks are soaked.” He leaned forward to unzip his bag and rifle through it, checking their condition. Kyoka curiously craned her head to peek, growing impressed when she spotted large law textbooks in the gloom of the back. She jerked when he abruptly zipped the backpack shut and tossed a glare at her, his red eyes flashing. It wasn’t malicious, though— more like amused. 

“Nosy, aren’tcha?” 

Kyoka ignored the barb to swiftly reply, “You study law?” 

“That’s right,” the stranger said as he reclined back against the bench, nestling one arm behind his head while the other fished in his pocket for his phone. “I’m a first-year at the university down the way,” he explained with a nod of his head in the direction from which he’d come. “My apartment is pretty far, though, so I have to wait for this goddamn bus.” Kyoka snickered at his brusqueness, watching in curiosity as he unspooled his earbuds from around the phone and shoved one deep into his ear. He left the other dangling, implying that he was at least mildly interested in her. She decided to oblige his silent invitation. 

“I go to that university too. I study music.” 

“In theory or in practice?” 

“Practice. I’m a singer and guitarist.” 

He whistled appreciatively, his red eyes flickering to her for a moment before looking back down at his screen. He pressed a button, then frowned, jabbing at the screen with his thumb. He then ripped the earbuds out with a growl. 

“Pieces of shit… They’ve gone and died on me,” he muttered, squinting at the earbuds as he held them up. He flung them into the nearby trashcan and flopped back against the bench, radiating irritation. Kyoka fidgeted next to him, a blush rising to her cheeks alongside a ridiculous idea, but her tongue ended up acting on it anyway. 

“Um… The bus is gonna be a while, so… You could share my earbuds if you like,” she offered meekly. The red-eyed boy glanced at her critically, looking her up and down to study her as if she were suspicious. After a second of contemplation, he shrugged and scooched closer to her; as their legs brushed, Kyoka’s face grew a whole shade darker. Her fingers trembled as she pulled the earbud out of her ear and held it out to him. She hoped he couldn’t feel her quivering when their fingers touched for the briefest second as he took it and jammed it into his ear. Kyoka switched her earbud to the opposite ear before pulling up her music playlist, leaning in to show him her phone screen. 

“I’m not sure what kind of music you like, but, you’re welcome to look.” 

He wordlessly took her phone to scroll through the options, eventually settling on a soft rock song. Kyoka took her cellphone back and held it to her chest as the music began to slow from the tiny speakers, accented by the pounding of the rain in her opposite ear and the silence growing between them. 

“You’ve got good taste,” he remarked after a minute. She looked up with a slight gasp to see him staring out at the road, eyes lidded as he watched the cars trundle by. “So, what do you want to do with your degree, Earbuds?” he asked, looking out of the corners of his eyes at her. She flushed at the sudden nickname and squirmed in her seat, gaze dropping. 

“My mother and father are both retired musicians who own a record label and instrument design company. I’d like to become a performer myself, but if that doesn’t work out, I can take over the business.” 

“Well, at least you’ve got a back-up plan. You look too smart to be some starry-eyed girl who swears she’s gonna be the next big thing,” he smirked, and Kyoka smiled thinly, unsure if it was a compliment or an insult. Sensing what she was about to ask, he smugly puffed out his chest and announced, “I’m studying law to be a prosecutor. One day I’m gonna become the most famous and feared attorney in all of Japan.” 

“You’re the one who sounds like a starry-eyed girl dreaming of being the next big thing,” Kyoka laughed, making the boy look at her with an indignant chuff. As she snickered, holding her curled finger up to her lips, the tension slowly melted from his body. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, crossing his arms and looking back at the road. “Laugh all ya want, but it’s the truth, Earbuds.” Looking at him, at his confident posture and cocksure smirk, she could believe it. He seemed like the type of guy to chase down his dream and wrestle it into submission no matter how many obstacles were thrown in his path. 

“Kyoka,” she corrected him after a bit of silence, making him look at her with a raised eyebrow. “My name is Kyoka.” 

“That so, Earbuds?” Kyoka had to smile at his complete indifference and insistence upon calling her the nickname. She liked the familiarity of it, though they were no more than strangers who’d met at the bus stop. “My name’s Katsuki Bakugo. Nice to meet you, or whatever small talk bullshit you’d like me to spout.” Kyoka giggled; he really was an asshole but in the most charming way. He was doing it on purpose, too, based on the smirk dancing over his lips. 

“I’m not into small talk,” she said with a small smirk of her own. “I much prefer the rain.” Katsuki snorted, then leaned his head back against the bench to stare out into the street. The both of them watched the rain pour from the heavens, soaking up into the sparse bits of grass lining the sidewalks to flood the soil into little lakes. It slicked the road, causing the car tires to squeal and fling water as the vehicles trundled down the road. Passersby scurried along hoping to escape the deluge before it got worse, the lucky ones huddled underneath umbrellas or clad in rain jackets. The rain drummed in the background of the soft rock drifting out of her earbuds, peaceful and soothing. 

She found her eyes drifting to Katsuki. His vermilion eyes were lidded as he stared out into the street, and his cut jawline shone with the rain still drying on his skin. His ash blond hair was clumped and poofy from being under his wet hood. He looked roguish, but handsomely so, and it made Kyoka’s heart pound. She gripped her phone tight, but insodoing she accidentally brushed her thumb across the screen and skipped the song. 

“Yo, what the fuck?” Katsuki griped, making her jump. “I was listening to that.” 

“S-sorry.” 

Katsuki peered at her with scrupulous eyes, making her squirm uncomfortably. 

“Come on, Earbuds. I’m not that intimidating, am I?” he asked with a huff. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and cheeks in his hands. Kyoka flushed in embarrassment, wiggling a little on the seat. 

“It’s not that, necessarily,” she said and chewed on the inside of her cheek as she ruminated on asking him for his phone number. I mean, he’s a handsome guy! I’m single, he… might be single, she debated. Kyoka hadn’t hadn’t dated much, as no boys had ever really caught her eye, but Katsuki just… felt right. Deciding there was no time besides the present, she quickly forced out, “It’s just that you’re really nice-looking, ya know? That unnerves a girl.” 

Katsuki stared owlishly at her for a second, surprised by her admission. Then, a wicked smirk spread across his lips, his ego skyrocketing at the compliment. 

“Oh? Aren’t you forward?” he chuckled. His wet clothes squeaked a little as he slowly straightened up. While maintaining eye contact with the blushing Kyoka, he reached out to take her phone with her. She could only watch, heart thumping, while he put his contact information into her phone. “Lucky for you, I like that in a girl, so I’ll humor you,” he said while continuing to smile smugly. He all but flopped her phone back into her hands, but she was so high-strung and stunned that her fingers only twitched a little around it. 

He then looked out into the street as headlights spilled around the corner, refracting on the water and making the street look like it was covered by glittering diamonds. Finally recovering some neuron function, Kyoka realized that it was the bus. Katsuki looked back to her, smirking. 

“So, you mind sharing your earbuds with me a little while longer? Least you can do, considering I’m probably gonna take you on a date,” he said playfully. Kyoka’s cheeks lit up like Christmas lights, hot and cherry-red. Still, she nodded meekly, not wishing to abandon Katsuki’s company just yet. The rain would continue to fall for a while yet, after all…

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

#bakujiro #bakujirou #bakugo x jiro #jiro x bakugo #jirou x bakugo #bakugo x jirou #kyoka jiro #jiro kyoka #bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo #my hero academia #mha #bnha #boku no hero academia

[buck-buck-boose]

I'll Love You 'Til I Die

Masterlist | Playlist

Summary: A Brooklyn schoolgirl fell in love with James Buchanan Barnes at the tender age of nine. With this love she made a vow, promising to love him until her very last breath.

Pairing: Bucky x OFC

Warnings: Language, violence

Word Count: 4.3k

Author's Note: I am... so sorry for taking so long. I was not expecting the start of the semester to be so hectic. I can't promise I'll go back to posting as regularly as during the summer, but I can promise that I'm not disappearing. I promise. I WILL SEE THIS FANFIC THROUGH EVEN IF IT KILLS ME. Thank you for the kind words and support while I've been MIA. Enjoy a chunky chapter.

Chapter Twenty-Four: Little Saint Lottie

October 27, 1943

“I’m worried about her, Betty.”

“I know, Gladys. I know.”

Lottie couldn’t remember the last time she’d gotten a full night’s rest. Days seemed to bleed into each other, with no slumber to distinguish today from tomorrow. It wasn’t long after arriving at Azzano that she realized that he wasn’t waiting for her. Bucky was gone. In his place, dozens of men awaited her arrival with sunken eyes and twitching lips that begged for relief, whether it be through a healing touch or a final blow to the head.

When the realization hit Lottie, there wasn’t much she could do besides throwing herself into her work; if she couldn’t help Bucky, the least she could do was help his brothers in arms. Although anxiety ate her up from the inside out, Lottie had confidence in Bucky’s abilities. He wouldn’t let himself die in some POW camp, he just wouldn’t. Because then who would take care of her and Steve? He’d fight tooth and nail to get back to them, she just knew it.

She threw herself into her work, rarely stopping long enough to have a proper conversation or a full meal; this bad habit of hers came to a halt, though, when she came upon a boisterous redhead in need of stitches. Lottie had been deep in thought while examining the gash above his forehead when the soldier cracked a grin and peered up at her without moving his head too much.

“Do I know you from somewhere?”

Lottie shook her head, “I’m afraid not, Private—” she glanced at his dog tags, “—O’Connor.”

“Ever done pinup? Maybe I know you from one of those cheesecakes we’ve got hanging up.” The man— more of a boy really, with his lanky frame and jovial smile —wiggled his eyebrows and ruined her diligent work of cleaning the blood from his wound.

The question left Lottie flustered; the idea of dozens of men gawking at her scantily clad figure left her feeling mortified, “Certainly not! I find that my talents are better suited for healing.”

O’Connor nodded and inspected her face carefully as she went to work on his gash once more. “I’ve got it!” Lottie nearly jumped away from him when he clapped his hands together, “You’re Little Saint Lottie, in the flesh!” The boy crowed his revelation, earning him glares from the other men recovering in the medic tent.

Lottie nearly dropped the needle that she’d been preparing to thread, “Excuse me?”

“Ah, it’s a funny story,” O’Connor chuckled, “Y’see, Sarge had this little photo he’d take everywhere. Always had it in his pocket, tucked in his helmet, you name it. Wouldn’t let the damn thing go. Anyway, we stole it out of his fatigues one day while he was cleaning up in some river ‘cause we wanted to see what the big deal was. Once we saw it was some dame—” Lottie shot him a look, “—lady, we started yanking his chain about it. He was just about as obsessed with that photo as my Ma is with her holy cards, so when he finally told us your name, we dubbed you ‘Little Saint Lottie,’ patron saint of the one hundred and seventh. That kinda pissed him off, but it’s not like you’re his girl, y’know? Though he sure acted like you were.”

Lottie was speechless. About halfway through his story, her mouth had dropped open and her hands had fallen to her lap. Here she was, looking dumb as an ox, while the soldier in front of her chuckled with childish glee.

“Me and the guys would even ask for your intercession whenever the chaplain came by to pray with us. Poor guy had no clue which saint we were talkin’ about. We tried to give it a place of honor in the tent but Sarge made us run laps when he found out we’d nicked it again.”

O’Connor nearly doubled over in laughter as he watched Lottie’s expression grow in horror. “Well as I’m sure Bucky— Sergeant Barnes has told you, I’m no saint. I’m just a nurse. Now hold still, unless you want these stitches to be more painful than they already are.” Before she could stop herself, the question came tumbling out of her mouth, “Speaking of Sergeant Barnes, do you know—” she fumbled with the needle as she made the first stitch, “—is he alright? Did you see him?” The soldier let out a hiss of pain, “Yeah, I got a glimpse of him while they were takin’ him away. He was battered but alright. There’s no man quite like Sarge, I know he’ll be back. He’d fight tooth and nail to get back. That’s what he said at least, ‘cause he always went on and on about how you needed him and all that. He sure talked about you an awful lot for a guy who hasn’t even asked you to go steady.”

Lottie’s breath hitched at the final comment, the mere idea of going steady with Bucky reducing her to a stuttering schoolgirl. She began to tie off his stitches, “We’ve been best friends for over a decade, it’s perfectly normal to care for each other deeply without bringing affection into it.”

O’Connor shrugged, which jostled her arm slightly, “I’ve never heard a guy talk about his best friend like that.”

Lottie didn’t respond. She gave his fully sutured wound one last glance, “Looks like you’re all set. Now don’t do anything stupid to get it infected.”

He gave her a crooked grin and wiggled his eyebrows, Lottie nearly scolded him but held her tongue, “As you wish, Saint Lottie.”

Lottie rolled her eyes and moved along to the next bed, where another soldier waited with a smile just as wide. It seemed that these men had become pleased as punch to know their patroness had come to grace them with her presence.

The USO’s visit to their camp took Lottie completely by surprise. She’d spent so much time floating from one medic tent to the next that she’d ended up completely out of the loop of the camp’s other goings-on. It wasn’t until she saw the fully-erected stage in the middle of camp that she realized. Her heart beat powerfully within her; with Steve here, she would be one step closer to finding Bucky. One step closer to bringing him home. “They say he’s gonna be here in a few hours,” Mary beamed, obviously giddy to see the Star-Spangled Man up close and in the flesh.

Lottie returned her smile, though it was weak. The weariness was starting to catch up to her, making her feel much older than a youthful twenty-three. Her stomach was in knots with anxiety; she needed to get to Steve as soon as possible.

Betty stood with them as they watched the hustle and bustle of preparations, “I’m pretty sure we’re the only ones looking forward to seeing Captain America. All these boys care about is seeing a bunch of girls dancing for them on stage, not some hunk of meat in a red, white, and blue suit.”

Nancy, who had just joined the conversation, scoffed, “It’s quite disappointing how little you think of these men and their patriotism.”

Gladys rolled her eyes, “They’re still men, Nancy. Scantily clad women or a guy singing about war bonds? They’re gonna prefer the women.”

Several hours later, Gladys was indeed proven right. Although he’d been driven off-stage with jeers and taunts, Lottie was waiting for him with a warm embrace.

“Hey, Lottie,” She could hear the smile in his voice, she felt its warm timbre as it surrounded her and reminded her of home.

“Good to see ya, Stevie.”

Steve pulled away from her and gazed around the camp, a grimace growing on his features, “Things don’t look to good around here.”

Lottie nodded, a twin grimace gracing her lips, “The hundred and seventh started out with two hundred men. Now they’ve only got fifty left. They’re barely holding on.”

Steve’s gaze shot to hers the moment she mentioned the one hundred and seventh, “Lottie that’s— this is Bucky’s—” The desperate look in his eyes made her own calm exterior begin to crack.

“Stevie, I know,” she whispered, a lump forming in her throat and tears pricking at her eyes, “I know, and I’m sorry. He’s not here. They— Those bastards took him, damn them!” For the first time since arriving at camp, Lottie cried. She sobbed and clung to Steve once more, feeling every bit like a scared little girl from days gone by.

Steve rested his hand against her back, “I’ll get him out, Lottie. He’s gotta be alive and I’ll get him out.”

She shook her head and wiped the hot tears from her cheeks, “No, Steve. You’re not going alone. I’m coming with you.”

“Lottie, you know I can’t put you in harm’s way like that—”

“Steve. I’m serious. What do you think I was doing that whole time I was with the SSR? Yes, we were making the serum, but they nearly trained us to death. I can shoot, I can use my knife. I can’t let you go without me.” Her voice was starting to crack, “We have to find Bucky together.”

There was silence between the two of them until Steve finally conceded, a wary gaze in his eyes, “Fine. But you need to be by my side the whole time.” Lottie nodded her chest warming with hope. “C’mon, we need to have a conversation with Colonel Philipps.”

The two of them jogged to his tent with their coats held above their heads to shield them from a sudden shower of rain. They entered the colonel’s tent, looking comical with their wet hair and heaving chests. Around them, soldiers and officials paced to and fro, examining maps or signing off various forms. If Lottie squinted, she could just barely make out the words. Letters of condolences; heartbreakingly clinical letters of regret for the losses of these sons, these brothers, these boys.

“Colonel Phillips,” Steve began, “Are you planning a rescue mission? For the surviving prisoners from the Battle of Azzano?”

The colonel looked back at him with a straight face, “Yeah, it’s called winning the war.”

Steve’s blond eyebrows furrowed, “But if you know where they are why not at least—”

“They’re thirty miles behind the lines. Through some of the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We’d lose more men than we’d save, but I don’t expect you to understand that because you’re a chorus girl,” before Lottie could protest, he shot her a glance as well, “and you’re just a nurse.”

Steve’s gaze on Colonel Phillips was cool, “I think I understand just fine.”

The colonel pushed past them, “Well then understand it somewhere else. Now if I read the posters correctly, you’ve got someplace to be in thirty minutes.”

“Yes sir, I do.”

Steve grabbed Lottie’s hand and pulled her behind him, “C’mon, we’ve gotta get going. You go get changed.”

Lottie nodded; her medical uniform would impede this mission so she’d need to wear the fatigues that the government had finally issued to them. Her heart raced a mile a minute as she scrambled back to the nurse’s tent to change. She knew that Colonel Philipps would be terribly angry once he found out she’d shirked her night duties, but her loyalties to Bucky took precedence. The recovering soldiers were left in the capable hands of her peers. She swore as she nearly toppled over while yanking her boots on; it was rather hard to get dressed in such a hurry. By the time she was ready and had exited the tent, she was met with the somber faces of Agent Carter and Steve.

“Agent Carter, what are you doing?” For a moment, she feared that they’d already been caught, that the SSR was already putting an end to their mission.

The other woman pursed her lips, “I’m here to help.”

A mere half-hour later and they found themselves in the SSR’s plane, headed to Krausberg, where the POW camp was located. Howard Stark called out to them from the cockpit, “We should be able to drop you right at their doorstep.”

Fear was starting to creep into Lottie’s mind and burrowed itself deep within her gut. She heard the conversation continue all around her, but she was still processing the daunting mission before her. She and Steve up against Hydra. All alone. Even Bucky had struggled against them; he’d lost to them in the Battle of Azzano. Bucky. That’s what worried her most. It’s what filled her with the most fear. If she and Steve got through the Hydra camp safe and sound only to find that he was dead, Lottie wasn’t sure how she’d deal with it. She’d probably go mad, in all honesty. She’d end up in some institution, crying over lucky pennies and charcoal drawings while being molly-coddled by some woman in white. How tragic that would be.

Before her thoughts could become any darker, Lottie was jolted back to reality by the sound of bullets against metal. Steve grabbed his shield and her arm, urging her to join him by the plane’s exit.

Agent Carter shot up from her seat, “Get back here! We’re taking you all the way in!”

He turned to respond, “As soon as I’m clear, you turn this thing around and get the hell out of here!” “You can’t give me orders!”

A smile grew on his face, “The hell I can’t! I’m a captain!”

Steve shifted his goggles and nudged Lottie, “It’s go time. When you see me pull the chute out, you do the same.”

Lottie nodded with a quiet determination, and together, they jumped.

Entering the base was painstakingly quiet; once they’d snuck into a truck and eliminated the guards inside, Steve and Lottie were left to mouth words and offer silent support through unwavering gazes. Once they’d safely passed the gate of the base, they exited the truck and swiftly dealt with any opposition.

Steve led her across the base with caution, giving hand signals when it was safe to turn a corner and sprint across a patch of unobstructed space. The two of them traveled with the shadows, avoiding any spotlights that could catch them in the act. Lottie scarcely felt that she could breathe, it was as if one exhale would reveal their presence to the multitude of guards.

Once they entered the main building, the two of them found themselves in what seemed to be a factory. There were giant sheets of metal everywhere and huge bombs seemed to surround them. Amongst them all, Hydra soldiers transported other metal parts and containers of glowing blue material. That did not bode well with Lottie at all.

Lottie spotted some guards walking to a lower level, jangling keys in hand. “Steve, they might be guarding the prisoners.” Her whisper was barely audible, fear keeping her from speaking any louder.

“The blueprints said they were below the manufacturing level. C’mon.”

They followed the guards onto a walkway that had large circular grates that cut into the metal, each forming the ceiling of small cells that the poor prisoners had been separated into. Lottie and Steve knocked the guards out and stole their keys. The two dropped to the same level as the cells and began unlocking their doors.

One of the soldiers gazed at them through the bars of his cell, “Who are you supposed to be?”

Steve panted from stress, “I’m Captain America.” He gave Lottie an expectant look.

“I guess I’m Little Saint Lottie,” she responded somewhat sarcastically, referencing the retrospectively comical nickname that was developed by the one hundred and seventh.

Some of the men cracked grins, “So you’ve heard our prayers, huh?”

“Loud and clear. Now let’s get you out of here, yeah?”

She tried to ignore the growing horror inside of her upon the realization that none of these men had brilliant blue eyes. Not a dimpled chin in sight.

“Is there anybody else? I’m looking for a Sergeant James Barnes.” It seemed that the same horror was growing within Steve.

A man in a scarlet beret responded, his British accent prim and proper, “There’s an isolation ward in the factory, but no one’s ever come back from it.”

“Alright,” Steve nodded, “The tree line is northwest, 80 yards past the gate. Get out fast and give ‘em hell. We’ll meet you guys out in the clearing with anyone else we find.”

“Wait, you know what you’re doing?” “Yeah. I’ve knocked out Adolf Hitler over two hundred times.”

Lottie couldn’t help but stare at Steve in amazement. Gone was that awkward boy from Brooklyn. He was a man now, a leader who could do anything he put his mind to. He’d grown so much, not just physically, but in his character.

While the prisoners worked their way out of the base, Steve and Lottie began their search for the isolation wards. Lottie tried to ignore the sounds of explosions and men crying out from below them while they traveled across metal catwalks. She could only hope that the cries of pain were coming from Hydra soldiers.

After turning several corners, they found themselves in an old hallway, surrounded by brick on both sides. They hurried down the corridor out of desperation; they knew they were running out of time. Lottie stopped suddenly when she heard a groan. It was close. She drew her weapon and dragged Steve into the room, her heart stuttering and her palms slick with sweat.

“Sergeant. Three-two-five-five-seven…” That voice. Oh, how she knew that voice; she loved it so. Lottie heard it whenever she found the time to fall asleep. It crept into her sweetest dreams but tore her apart whenever it wiggled its way into her nightmares.

Bucky lay in front of them, strapped down to a table; his lips moved ever so slightly as he repeated the same phrase over and over again.

She rushed to his side alongside Steve and nearly let out a cry of happiness. Had the situation not been so dire, she would’ve descended upon him with a bone-crushing embrace and great big sobs of joy by that point.

Lottie whispered a quiet, “Bucky?” His eyes were glazed over and his mouth agape, “Is that— is that—”

“It’s us, Buck,” Steve nodded reassuringly as he tore at the straps across Bucky’s chest. Bucky looked up at him, taking his face in,

“Us?”

“Me and Lottie,” he nodded, tugging her closer so that the two of them could be in Bucky’s field of vision.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at him, finally feeling whole again. She’d gotten her Brooklyn boys back. Bucky only looked back in confusion, “Little Lottie, she— she’s always been here. Always. Stayed with me the whole time.”

It was Lottie and Steve’s turn for confusion. Lottie brushed the hair back from his forehead to calm him down and ground him, “Bucky, I’ve been with the SSR this whole time. We’re here to rescue you.”

Steve nodded and dragged him off the table, “I thought you were dead.”

Bucky was obviously having a hard time processing everything that was happening, “I thought you were smaller.”

Lottie listened as the gunfire intensified, “Come on, we need to move.” Steve threw one of Bucky’s arms over his shoulder and the two fell into step behind her.

“What happened to you?” Bucky grunted out, pain etched into his voice.

“I joined the army.”

“Did it hurt?”

Steve was growing agitated, “A little.”

“Is it permanent?”

“So far.” Lottie huffed, “I’d sure hope so after all that effort I put into it.”

Bucky mustered out a befuddled, “Huh?”

“I helped to create the serum that made him like that.”

“So that’s why you left without saying a word.” Bucky’s tone was only slightly accusatory.

Lottie muttered a weak “Yeah.” They’d need to have a lengthier conversation once he wasn’t struggling to walk five yards.

As they crossed the catwalks to get towards the exit, the factory below them began to combust. Huge flames erupted from the metal contraptions and triggered explosions all around them. They hastily climbed the metal stairs to get to higher ground.

“Captain America, how exciting!” A thick German accent cut through the noise of explosions and gunfire. “I am a great fan of your films!” Before them stood two men; one was a short little fellow clad in a jacket and fedora. The other was tall and wore a distinguished Hydra uniform with its menacing crest emblazoned on his shoulder.

The taller of the two gave Captain America a once over as he strode across the catwalk that separated them, “So, Dr. Erskine managed it after all. Not exactly an improvement, but still, impressive.”

“You’ve got no idea,” Steve snarled and punched the man in the face. The swift blow caused a blotch of redness to appear near his eye and a sinking feeling of realization settled into Lottie’s stomach. This was Schmidt, the monster who used the serum prototype.

Before she could say anything, Schmidt struck back and left a dent in Steve’s shield, “Haven’t I?”

There was a brief scuffle before Schmidt backed off while the other man pulled a lever, pulling the catwalk apart. With a grin, Schmidt began pulling at the skin of his face and revealed fiery red muscle and tissue beneath, just as Lottie had seen when she first began experimenting with the formula. “You are deluded, Captain. You pretend to be a simple soldier, but in reality, you are just afraid to admit that we have left humanity behind. Unlike you, I embrace it proudly. Without fear!”

“Then how come you’re running?”

Steve never got an answer. Schmidt and the other man had already boarded an elevator and left them standing on the catwalk, nearly helpless.

Another explosion went off, cueing the trio to leave, “C’mon, let’s go. Up.” Lottie instructed the men to follow her, though she wasn’t too sure how to escape the factory. All she knew was that they needed to keep ascending the stairs.

When they reached the top of the stairs, they were faced with a metal beam that led to a catwalk with an exit. It was terrifyingly slim, with only enough room to place one foot in front of the other.

“Ladies first,” Bucky murmured, “but I’ll be right behind you.” Lottie felt sure of herself knowing that at least she wouldn’t have to cross on her own.

She took a tentative first step, testing how well it would hold her weight. Lottie tried not to look down at the fiery pit below while she carefully moved along the beam. It was a comfort to have Bucky behind her with his chest nearly pressed against her back as he followed her every step. Lottie had just scrambled over the railing of the catwalk when a jarring explosion shifted the beam’s position and sent it careening downwards. She gasped in horror as Bucky leaped to grab onto the catwalk.

“There’s gotta be a rope or something!”

Steve stared at the two of them from across the pit, “Just go! Get out of here!”

Bucky slammed his fist on the railing, desperation tearing at his voice, “No, not without you!”

“Steve, please! We can’t just leave you here!” Lottie pleaded. Steve couldn’t die, not like this.

With a look of determination, Steve backed up and made a running jump to clear the gap between the two catwalks. An explosion threatened to swallow him up, but he made it over safely, although a little worse for wear.

Lottie and Bucky could only stare in amazement. Steve nodded to them both, “Let’s get outta here.”

Several ladders and a whole lot of dodging later, the trio found themselves trudging towards the tree line.

It was silent amongst the three of them; painfully, dreadfully silent. She decided it was time to break the silence, “Bucky, I—”

“Look, Little Lottie, I know you’re sorry, alright? And I forgive you. Even though you lied to my face and left without saying goodbye, I had a whole lotta time to spend forgiving you.”

Now that the fear of being caught by Hydra soldiers had fully subsided, Lottie allowed herself to let out a sob of joy and nearly threw herself at Bucky. She almost apologized for the force of her embrace since it was likely to hurt a man who’d been captured by Hydra, but he didn’t show any sign of pain. She’d need to remember that for later.

“I missed you so much, Bucky. I really did,” Lottie nearly whimpered. Gosh, she sure sounded lovesick. “I missed you too, Little Lottie.” His embrace was sure and strong, and with it, a flood of memories came back to her. Nights on her fire escape. A birthday evening spent swing dancing. A lucky penny slipped into her hand. For the first time in months, Lottie finally felt whole. Her heart that had been splintered into shards of pain and hopelessness had finally begun to mend itself back together. While she found comfort in his arms and forgiveness, she knew there were still so many words left unsaid; words that he needed and deserved to hear.

“Yeah, I missed you guys too,” Steve muttered, obviously peeved that he was being left out of their moment.

“Aw, come on, Stevie,” Lottie grinned and pulled away from Bucky a little to allow Steve to join their hug.

“And if I remember correctly, Bucky, I think it’s actually Little Saint Lottie now,” she grinned. While she couldn’t see his face at the moment, she just knew it was turning a gorgeous shade of scarlet, based on the sputtering coming out of his mouth.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fic #bucky x ofc #bucky imagine #bucky fic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky fanfic #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes ff #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #1940s bucky #40s!bucky x ofc #40s!bucky x original female character #40s!bucky x reader #40s!bucky #bucky x original character #bucky x original female character #bucky x oc #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes feels

[fayeimara]

Miya Atsumu || Solita

*Song Scenario | Inspired by Solita by PRETTYMUCH*

PAIRING. Miya Atsumu x you

GENRE. Fluff; A little angst, if you squint?

WARNINGS. Incredibly suggestive, probably sexual innuendos and references, swearing, implications of drinking, angst.. (from my perspective, which probably means nothing because I think I can't handle writing it)

The lavish, vast pool glitters under the sun, surface disturbed by the partygoers splashing around in the water without a care in the world. Atsumu stands at the edge, quickly checking over the various faces but doesn't find you or his brother among them.

"She's not inside." Suna's voice comes from behind him and he looks back to see the middle blocker walking back up to him. His usually neutral expression is disturbed with just the slightest indent between his eyebrow and before Atsumu looks away he catches the slightest twitch in his jaw.

So he's a little worried too. They both know trouble always finds you if you don't find it first. And at a party of this scale, it's an inevitability.

How did they manage to lose you already? You'd all only been here about twenty minutes when Atsumu and Suna decide to refresh your group's drinks and left you with Osamu but the both of you aren't anywhere to be seen now.

Backing away from the pool, Atsumu looks over past the green metal fence that blocks off the pool and its surrounding stone patio from the manicured lawn, crowded with people dancing to the music blasting from speakers that surround the entire backyard.

They'll have to wade in there but it's just as likely he and Suna might miss you entirely if you're in that crush of people. Where's twin telepathy when he needs it?

Suna's already headed over, deciding to try his luck and probably because they have to do something since neither you or 'Samu have answered the multiple texts they've sent asking for your location in this overcrowded fucking mansion.

The only concern is if they're wasting time by looking for you out here, but there's no way you would be inside, in one of the rooms, right? No, not unless you were in real trouble and 'Samu definitely wouldn't let anything happen to you.

So Atsumu follows after his teammate and pushes past the creaky gate to move onto the grassy area of the large backyard. Suna's already found Aran, at the edge of the crowd, and Atsumu walks up to hear him ask if he's seen either you or Osamu.

"Sure, just a couple minutes ago," The tall ace responds, "They should be hear somewhere."

And with that, he salutes them with his drink and moves away towards the set of double doors that lead into the kitchen of the house.

"Do you want to take the left while I go in from the right? Text once we find them?" Suna offers, already starting to head over to one side of the large crowd.

But Atsumu stops him with a hand to his shoulder, "Nah, I think we should just go through the middle. If she's in there, that's where she'll be."

Suna smirks and doesn't respond, knowing 'Tsumu's most likely correct. This time it's Suna following Atsumu as they wade into the mess of swaying bodies, thankfully, not as tightly packed as they would be in a different setting.

It doesn't take them long now, with the confirmation that you're here, to finally catch sight of you. You are, in fact, dead center of the crowd and steadily holding the attention of many as you sway slowly to the music.

As soon as his eyes land on you, Atsumu feels a burn take root and start to grow in his chest. It's not exactly the way your hips move, seductively swinging to the beat, or your arms held in the air as you dance enticingly to the melody, locks of your hair softly flying with your moves and the breeze. It's not even that it's his brother you're with, standing there like an enraptured guardian, holding both your drinks and watching over you while you dance with one of your friends.

What completely combusts Atsumu is that as you dance so prettily, the center of fucking attention with your unconscious sensuality, you're doing so in what is unmistakably his jacket, the material shifting with and sliding over your body, almost covering the racy black bikini you're wearing.

You're dancing there among everyone, yet somehow looking like his personal, intimate show, in the jacket he gave you to wear when you were slightly chilly after a quick dip in the pool but that you'd ended up just holding in your hand instead while you asked him to go grab you a new drink.

Torn between dragging you away from the beautiful spectacle you're making for all the undeserving fuckers to see but not wanting the incredible dream to end, Atsumu watches a little longer. He watches until the song spirals up higher and higher and with every rise he feels like he's falling deeper instead.

A brush against his arm brings him back to the reality of the crowd, but it's only Suna, passing by and moving toward you with a piercing look in his narrow eyes. Before Atsumu can even register what he's doing, he grabs his friend's elbow, yanking him to a sudden stop.

"What're ya doin'?"

Those piercing eyes turn his way, with firm intensity, and the fox-eyed boy responds, "I'm getting some dirt off of a jewel."

"Don't ya fucking dare."

"You're going to want to let go off me before I deck you."

"So what," Atsumu raises an eyebrow, "You're gonna go over and forcibly remove the clothes off a girl?"

With his hand still on Suna's tense arm, Atsumu can literally feel when his friend decides to back down and continues through to the kill, "Yeah, that'll go over real well, especially with her, don't ya think?"

Eyes narrowed on him, Suna bites out a low, angry, "Fuck." before turning away and shoving back through the crowd until it's swallowed him up.

Yeah, he wouldn't want to watch you dance in Suna's jacket either, if the positions were reversed. But you're not wearing the middle blocker's name right now, you're wearing his. And it looks divine on you, as if both he and his name were made simply for you to exist and finally own them.

Atsumu turns back to watch you, moving ever so slightly closer, mesmerized by your movements but even more so by the thought of you being his. He's trapped in the suggestion of the moment, watching you and dreaming, until your eyes open again, only this time on a twirl that ends directly facing him, and your gaze catches immediately on his.

He watches as your eyes widen in surprise for a split second before delight pulls your lips into a wide, joyful grin. He feels like he's been pierced through the heart and he only wants to dig the arrow in deeper. He wants to grab you and take you away from all the eyes watching you and he wants to parade you around in his jacket for everyone to see.

What he does instead is walk up to you, eyes never leaving yours once, with a wide, happy grin on his own face. As he nears, he watches your left hand trace a sensuous path down over your other arm still up in the air, stroking through your hair before brushing briefly and every so lightly against your neck, only to stretch out to him, him. He reaches out when he's finally standing just in front of you, to connect his hand to yours, and gently pulls it to rest on his chest before sliding it up to the side of, and then around, his neck, pulling you flush against him in the process.

All the while, you keep dancing, even as your other hand flutters down from it's summit in the air, landing gently to brush down the back of his hair, before meeting the first and intertwining together at his neck. You keep your eyes and smile on him as he slowly matches your pace and rhythm, moving both with and against you. His own eyes burn back into yours, even his smile scorches, more a smirk now as his hands slide down your arms, leaving a trail of heat in their wake, moving further still until you feel the material around you shift and then his hands are like hot brands, under the jacket you're wearing, on your bare waist.

Your heartbeat picks up, more than it already had when you opened your eyes to see him watching you with that familiar possessive, covetous look on his face. You feel like you're burning while electric currents simultaneously race through you. The music sounds hollow, as if you might faint, so you get closer still and tighten your fingers together briefly in reassurance that you're okay, before loosening your grip again.

Neither of you have looked away since the moment you first caught and held his eyes. It's incredibly overwhelming, this awareness, the delicate bubble you're in with him. And it lasts for an eternal moment, forever seared in your memory.

Atsumu still watches, as you finally break your gaze to close your eyes. Even still, he can see the smile on your face, a small, delicate echo of the happy grin he first received when you saw him. He looks at you, the entirety of his world, and thinks of everything he could and wants to be for you.

It's in that moment he decides that the things holding him back from making this dream his eternal reality don't matter. Dancing together with you amidst the moving crowd, with the sun streaming down on the two of you and the beat of the music wrapping you together in this intimate embrace, Miya Atsumu knows beyond a shadow of doubt, that if you decide to give him even the slightest chance, he'll forever be yours.

Meant to Be Masterlist .. if anyone cares about what fic this scenario might end up a part of...

A/N (moved from above) : So... I planned and started writing this as a Haikyuu scenario unrelated to my SMAU series, instead as part of a bunch of fandom scenarios I have planned inspired by certain songs on my playlist. I also planned and started writing this with a completely different idea for direction it was supposed to go, to a completely different ending. Now...

I'm literally heartbroken because I'm conflicted with what to do with this scenario... do I add it to MTB (it can fit for Pt 2 with some edits) or leave it as an unrelated short scenario? If it's a separate scenario (I do also have a 2nd part / continuation already planned btw) then... do I keep it just an Atsumu scenario (which was unplanned, he wasn't supposed to get so.. close with reader when he found her :/) and let my heart stay broken for the rest of my life, or just decide to make it poly too because it's easier to let everyone have reciprocated love than experiencing the secondhand angst for Suna and Osamu? Like... I don't think it's a secret that Suna comes just before the Miyas' for me but, it's like, just barely sometimes :'( Can I do this to my baby??? Maybe I should just do the same scenario but with different endings for each of them so you can... pick your character/ending??? They can all be happy in their own parallel universes? I want to have a good cry... Atsumu baby, why did you put me in this situation??

Anyways, if I haven't ruined it for you by now, please read and let me know your opinion(s). Please.

A/N.. again (If you ended up reading this garbage) : So this is not the edited version, please don't lynch me over any mistakes or choices. I might come back to edit or even completely overhaul this. I'm literally posting it to get an opinion from an incredible, life-saving, heart-repairing friend.

@delusivist

© 2021 fayeimara. All rights reserved. Please do not repost, modify, or claim as yours.

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu atsumu #haikyuu suna #haikyuu osamu #haikyuu fanfic #hq #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x female reader #haikyuu x f!reader #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu fic #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #atsumu x y/n #suna rintarō #suna rintaro #atsumu fluff #miya osamu #miya twins #suna rintarou #haikyuu scenarios #hq fluff #hq scenarios #haikyuu!! #hq atsumu #atsumu scenarios #miya atsumu scenarios

[caligulalotus]

you cannot love a ghost to life, can you? // i need you to wake up

a playlist about ghosts and hauntings and love for parker macmillan IIIII and wyatt mason

track list below the cut

Jenny-The Mountain Goats

“We were the one thing in the galaxy God didn't have his eyes on”

We Both Go Down Together-The Decemberists

“And oh, my love, my love/We both go down together/And my parents will never consent to this love/But I hold your hand”

How To Embrace A Swamp Creature-The Mountain Goats

“I stand where the flashing swords gleam/And I try to shake my head clear of the dream/But I'm out of my element I can't breathe/I'm out of my element/I can't breathe”

Ghost-Neutral Milk Hotel

“Ghost, ghost/I know you live within me/Feel as you fly/In thunder clouds above the city”

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead-Stars

“There's one thing I want to say so I'll be brave/You were what I wanted, I gave what I gave/I'm not sorry I met you/I'm not sorry it's over/I'm not sorry there's nothing to save”

Ghost Story-Charming Disaster

“Since the day they told me he was gone/Haunts me faithfully from dusk till dawn/Hear him whisper sweetly in my ear/Can't you see we got a good thing here?”

Big God-Florence and the Machine

“I still like you the most/You'll always be my favorite ghost”

Not the Ghost-The Crane Wives

“If only I could break the chain of disappointment/Weighing me down/Shake off the ghosts that whisper warnings/Whenever you're not around/I won't be afraid of all the things I wanted/It's the fear, and not the ghost/That leaves me haunted, haunted”

Do You Want To Die Together?-Stars

“It was you and me that’s what you said/And it's always true, aren’t I here with you?/I may look alive but inside I'm dead/Then let's make it true, let's make it true”

The Good That Won’t Come Out-Rilo Kiley

“Oh, you're almost home/I've been waiting for you to come in/Dancing around in your old suits/Going crazy in your room again”

Naked, The Night Falls-The Crane Wives

“Been enraptured and tied/Turn your ghosts into mine/All the years, all the years I'm alive”

Survivor’s Guilt, AKA, The Moon’s Lament-Emily Axford

“I see you in my dreams/Young and brave and pre-calamity/I will tell your story/I will be the voice you lost too soon”

Poison and Wine-The Civil Wars

“I don't have a choice, but I still choose you/Oh, I don't love you, but I always will”

7 O’Clock-Penelope Scott

“I'll call her again/But she's a huge fucking ghost/I fell for dead air/'Cause it was all I could host”

Until Olympius Returns-The Mountain Goats

“Go through the motions/Every day out in the square/Listen for the hidden rhythms on the air/Nod in agreement when the tyrant holds forth/Look for a beacon from the North”

Up The Wolves-The Mountains Goats

“It's gonna take you people years to recover from all of the damage/Our mother has been absent/Ever since we founded Rome/But there's gonna be a party when the wolf comes home”

Stray Italian Greyhound-Vienna Teng

“But you had to come along didn't you?/Rev up the crowd/Rewrite the rule book/Where do I go when every no turns into maybe?/So what do I do with this?”

All I’ve Ever Known-Hadestown

“I knew you before we met/And I don’t even know you yet/All I know is you’re someone I have always known”

Beautiful Gas Mask-The Mountain Goats

“We hold hands and we jump/And as we fall we sing/Paupers hammering the walls of the castle/Going to meet the king”

Old College Try-The Mountain Goats

“But I will walk down to the end with you/If you will come all the way down with me“

The Diving Bell-The Crane Wives

“Water rushes in/I will welcome it/I am not afraid/To give you everything”

#blaseball #parker macmillan iiiii #wyatt mason #i made this playlist last night while very tired so this post is just we trying to remember why i put things on it #but i think i got it #also please reblog this one i want to brainrot more people #but the hellsite hates links in tags

[ianpriceisnotright]

it’s time the kid got free - an ian price playlist for his past, present, and future

i. when she looks at me and laughs, i remind her of the facts. i'm the king of rock 'n' roll completely... hot dog, jumping frog, albuquerque! // like it's gold, you're a prophet. someone's gonna profit. // pawn on every chess board, used 'til they get bored. smile when they yell, 'checkmate.'  // i'm supposed to be happy and free. everyone is talking to me. most of the nights, i lay on my phone, watching the world... nobody knows the sadness i hold. nobody sees what's about to unfold. // i been thinking about you and i wanna go do something nice. i can't take rejection and that's why i pay the crazy price. if you ain't ecstatic i feel like i blew it big time. i'm a little manic, i just wanna see your big smile. nothing means more to me than when i hear that you're proud of me. // i'm wasted, losing time. i'm a foolish, fragile spine. i want all that is not mine. i want him, but we're not right. // i should've stayed at home, 'cause right now i see all these people that love me but i still feel alone. // i had a dream i got everything i wanted. not what you'd think, and if i'm being honest, it might've been a nightmare. // if it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?  // somewhere i lost some of my innocence, and i miss it. stay up all night thinking it's twisted, my life's been survival of the fittest, but i did it. // they tell me i've got something more, and oh you could be loved. but i don't want the lights to find me when i'm dark and lost but never on my own... they said you'll never be alone again, but i don't think you understand me or what i fear... i wonder how it feels to burn out young. // this is everything i wanna say, but can't say yet. and everything i wanna change, but can't change. // they said, don't meet your heroes, they're all fucking weirdos, and god knows that they were right. because nobody loves you, they just try to fuck you, then put you on a feature on the b-side. and who do you call when it's late at night, when the headlines just don't paint the picture right? when you look at yourself on a screen and say, "oh my god, there's no way that's me..." i remember this girl with pink hair in detroit, she said, "you gotta promise us that you won't die 'cause we need you" and honestly i think that she lied. // who put the world on my back and not in my hands? just give me a chance... think i'm reaching my limit. can i exhale for a minute? // i hold you so proudly. traumas, they surround me. i wish you'd just love me back. // i think the kids are in trouble. i do not know what all the troubles are for. give them ice for their fevers. you're the only thing i ever want anymore. live on coffee and flowers and try not to wonder what the weather will be. // i found love in a place i thought was hopeless, now i'm glad i stayed... but i still say i don't wanna be here. i don't wanna be here, i don't wanna be here, take me away. // i'm a pretty boy livin' on the west side, livin' so loud, you could never hear me cry... no more fears and no more lies, i tell myself to sleep at night, amongst these hills, baby. // god, i wonder why we bother. all the glamour, and the trauma, and the fucking melodrama. 

ii.  i can fake a smile, i can force a laugh. i can dance and play the part if that's what you ask... but i'm only human, and i crash and i break down. your words in my head, knives in my heart. you build me up and then i fall apart. // i thought if i was older, i'd have less on my shoulders. i can't tell if i'm sad or bored. most nights i am not sober. l.a.'s making me colder. i've got voices i can't ignore... took my patience for weakness. i wish i would have had the choice. // rip me open, you'll see you're not the only one who's hopeless... don't let me let you down. hey, baby i'm not your superhuman, and if that's what you want, i hate to let you down... it's such a long and awful lonely fall down from this pedestal that you keep putting me on. // and just like a tale my dream was a scam. you waited smiling for this? i am burnt out... oh maybe i'll talk about it. i'll never talk about it. // i'm like a paper cup with a pin prick. you can fill me up but i'll only stay full for a while... you say you understand me well i don't get you at all. it seems everyone around me is so good at faking it that i don't know just how to act around you. // i'm afraid that i've gone vacant, and i don't have time for your equations... when you push me like hell, that's when i start to despise myself. // honestly, what will become of me? don't like reality, it's way too clear to me... we are what we don't see. we miss everything daydreaming. // i was in but i want out. my mother's love is choking me. i'm sick of words that hang above my head. what about the kid? it's time the kid got free... i'm sitting pretty on the throne. there's nothing more i want, except to be alone. 

iii. you peaked. sorry to kick deep, but heard your story before it's not unique... why can't you just play your part? you were supposed to be somebody. you were supposed to make more money. // these are the reasons i drink. the reasons i tell everybody i'm fine even though i am not. these are the reasons i overdo it... to make up for these habits, to survive this sick industry. // why do i waste so much time on things that i can't fix? all these things i hold inside i just can't forget. thought that i could let this go, but i ain't know that it would be like this... baby, i'm impossible to be with. // said my spirit doesn't move like it did before. said that i don't look like me no more. i said i'm just tired, she said you're just high... oh, i make you cringe now. don't i make you cringe? // you're so shook when i look right past you, so surprised you don't get an answer... ain't it weird to feel small 'n stuff? oh, come on, just say something. no, go ahead, tell me, what do i need? // these people don't heal, these people don't feel. these people aren't real so make me this deal. won't you gimme love when i'm gone? // all these voices in my head get loud. i wish that i could shut them out. i'm sorry that i let you down. yeah, i guess i'm a disappointment... paranoia, what did i do wrong this time? that's parents for you. very loyal? shoulda had my back, but you put a knife in it, my hands are full. what else should i carry for you? // i would rather rot alone then spend a minute with you. i'm gone, i'm gone. and you can't stop me from falling apart, 'cause my self-destruction is all your fault... doesn't matter what i do, nothing's gonna change. i'm never good enough... how could you, how could you, how could you love me? when all you ever gave me were open wounds? // oh and i tried to start caring like you and like them when you said that i was killing myself. i healed everything but my shame. // and at once, i knew i was not magnificent. 

iv. and they tell you that you're lucky, but you're so confused, 'cause you don't feel pretty, you just feel used... and they still tell the legend of how you disappeared. how you took the money and your dignity, and got the hell out. // i know that i'm stuck in this misery. guess i'm not enough like you used to think, so i'll just run. // out on my own, kicked out of the show. i'll take what's mine and i'll go. // you've got a second chance, you could escape it all... you could still be what you want to. // i'm a goner. somebody catch my breath. i wanna be known by you. // i had a hole in the middle where the lightning went through it. told my friends not to worry... didn't want to be your ghost. didn't want to be anyone's ghost. // some say love is a burning thing that it makes a fiery ring. but i know love as a fading thing, just as fickle as a feather in a stream... i will not open myself up this way again. // you can't take back what you've taken away, 'cause i feel you. i feel you near me. // have you forgotten what you have and what is yours...? there's so much more, you can reclaim your crown. you're in control. rid of the monsters inside your head, put all your faults to bed. you can be king again. // somebody said you disappeared in a crowd. i didn't understand then, i don't understand now... i was solid gold, i was in the fight. i was coming back from what seemed like a ruin... now i only think about los angeles when the sun kicks out. // first night of your life curled up on your own. looking at you now, you would never know. // i do believe it's true, that there are roads left in both of our shoes. // shout out to the old me and everything he showed me. glad you didn't listen when the world was trying to slow me... had to fuck it up before i really got to know me. // what if who i hoped to be was always me? and the love i fought to feel was always free? what if all the things i've done were just attempts at earning love? 'cause the hole inside my heart is stupid deep. 

#◦ ` ･ but i'm older than i am #◦ ` ･ killed my old self but the new me isn't much better #◦ ` ･ playlist #◦ ` ･ mine