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moveslikebuckywrites · 4 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Beelzebub & Satan | Lucifer (Good Omens) Characters: Beelzebub (Good Omens), Satan | Lucifer (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Angst, The Fall (Good Omens), Gabriel and Raphael are also there slightly, implied Crowley was Raphael but not necessarily, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), I didn't want to come up with an angel name so their angel name is [Redacted]

Part two of the gift fics! This time for @tieflingbeelzebub (I'll tag that since that’s their Good Omens specific blog)! They wanted some Beelzebub set to Disquiet by Unreqvited, which is a really cool instrumental! So here’s my attempt at a character study on Beelzebub before and directly after the fall!

---

Buzzing.

Such a pleasant sound. The sound of their children.

[Redacted] loved her creations. From the smallest ant to the birdwing moths.

For some, it would be their job to help the plants, to spread the pollen that would let flora multiply and cover the new planet. To sustain the almighty’s new creation with things called ‘fruit’ and ‘vegetables’ and ‘grains’. And it would all be thanks to her children.

Others would be that sustenance, for other beings created by other angels. This made [Redacted] sad, but it was only the circle of life. Their purpose was to feed the smaller beings, which would feed larger beings, who would feed even larger beings, and so on. In this way, things would become balanced. And there at the start, their children.

[Redacted]’s favorite children shone like precious jewels, in all the colors of the universe. They spread bright shimmery wings and sparkled in the sunlight on the new world. They loved them so much, they shed their white feathers in favor of the brilliant oranges and deep blacks of the monarch butterfly. Six translucent amber wings catching the rays of sunlight and casting patterns around them. A tribute to their beautiful children to carry with them always.

Gabriel didn’t like them, but that was Gabriel’s problem. He also didn’t like any of the foods some of the others were creating. Said things were ‘gross’. That never stopped him from hanging around, though [Redacted] wasn’t quite sure why.

As with most days, [Redacted] was tending to the insects in the garden. Their beauties and their children. The sun was setting, and the fading light glimmered in their monarch wings, casting faint orange shadows on the grass around them.

They were singing. To the houseflies and the honeybees, to the hornets and wasps. To the butterflies, moths, and even the tiniest carpenter ants. [Redacted] loved nothing more than to sing to their children, to inspire them to motion, to work, to thrive.

As they were watching the bees learn to dance, marveling at their spins and turns and how the transformed that into a language only bees could speak, they sensed a presence sneaking up on them was not that of the nosy archangel.

“My dear brother, Lucifer,” [Redacted] stood and smiled at the newcomer, “You don’t often visit me in the garden, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Dear [Redacted] my most favorite of siblings,” Lucifer said, holding his arms out wide and welcoming, “Is it not enough to visit you? So rarely seen are you in Heaven anymore.”

“Well, there is much work to be done,” [Redacted] lifted their hand to a low hanging branch allowing a shimmery purple stag beetle to crawl onto their finger, “The Almighty says that my creations will outnumber even the stars in the sky. There will be more of them on Earth than anything else, and they will play one of, if not the most, pivotal roles in how the Earth works.”

“More insects than stars?” Lucifer chuckled, “Don’t let Raphael find out, he might get upset.”

“Oh, I doubt it, his heart is far too kind,” [Redacted] cooed at the little beetle before depositing it back where it came from, “And you are deflecting, what brings you to the garden today?”

Lucifer shifted nervously from foot to foot, “It’s happening tonight, I need to know where you stand.”

[Redacted] froze and turned to face their brother. The butterflies for which they modeled their wings flitted between them as a heavy silence fell in the air.

“Lucifer-“

“You know what I’ve told you, you know it’s true.” Lucifer stared them down, resolution evident in his eyes.

“We have to trust-“

“There is no more trust!” Lucifer exclaimed, grabbing [Redacted] by the shoulders.

“You don’t know that!” they replied, still steadfast. The flight of the butterflies changed, and they flocked to [Redacted], landing on their shoulders, arms, and hair, “You don’t know that.”

“[Redacted] I am begging you, I cannot bear to see you hurt,” he reached out and gingerly ran a finger along one of the butterfly’s wings, “These creations, these humans, the Almighty will favor them, and we will all be cast aside.”

“That is not for us to understand, brother! You know that as well as any!”

“She will not speak to us, won’t give us real answers!” He said, letting go of their shoulders and stalking a few feet away, “Just these continual tasks, one after the other, all for these…for these…creatures!”

“And then that is our purpose!” This path was a dangerous road, [Redacted] was sure. The Almighty had always had reasons, even if those reasons had not always been clear.

“It does not have to be!” Lucifer shouted before taking a few deep breaths and calming back down, “We only want answers, will you stand with us?”

[Redacted] considered this for a moment, noting the trembling in the butterflies perched upon them.

“And what says Raphael?” [Redacted] asked with trepidation.

“He is with me, as you should know,” Lucifer turned back to them, “All our lives it’s been the three of us. I cannot do this without you, [Redacted].”

[Redacted] took a deep breath, “And we are just seeking an audience? To have our questions answered?”

“That is all, my dear sibling,” Lucifer said, extending a hand warmly. Invitingly.

“I see,” [Redacted] said, turning to gaze out to the garden. The bees flitted from flower to flower, the butterflies floated in the air, a mosquito hummed pleasantly in their ear. They were filled with so much love for their children. So much that they thought this must be the way the Almighty felt for Her creations. Their questions would be answered, because God is love and thus loved them in turn, “well then, let us go speak to Her.”

[Redacted] took in the sight of the garden; the sounds and the smells. The sun dipped fully below the horizon, and their beautiful fireflies danced in the air. Tiny starlight flickers, fading in and out. Despite their trust in both Lucifer and Raphael, they could not shake a feeling of foreboding.

They did not know this would be their last day in the garden.

---

The next events happened so quickly, [Redacted] had barely been able to process.

Lucifer, Raphael, and themselves had approached the throne room of the Almighty, seeking audience. Gabriel, Uriel, and Michael had barred them from entry. Raphael had shouted something about just needing to ask questions, and Lucifer had drawn his sword.

The last thing that [Redacted] could remember before plummeting through the clouds was thinking they saw tears in an archangel’s purple eyes.

They had crashed into a pool, blinding heat searing through to their bones. They could feel their face bubble and blister with the burning heat. They could hear one of their brothers screaming nearby, but could not tell which. With a special kind of horror, they realized the creeping burning was working its way down their wings. They screamed in pain, in anguish, and in hatred.

Their Grace was pulled out, tossed aside by the archangels. On the Almighty’s own order, they had said.

[Redacted] fought through the pain and dragged themselves out of the scalding liquid, gasping for breath. They thrashed and spread their wings, screaming again. Their beautiful wings were no longer a brilliant and shimmering orange, but translucent. Almost opalescent, catching the light of the fire in muted purples and blues.

A familiar buzzing followed them. Opening their eyes, they saw the humble houseflies. Lowest of their children, but beloved all the same. It gave them some comfort. They grieved for the loss. The loss of their grace, the loss of their wings, the loss of the garden and their beautiful children.

[Redacted] did not know how long they stayed there, crying and burning, before they sensed another approaching.

“Rise, my dear sibling,” Lucifer, skin burning red like volcanic rock, stood beside them, “we have much work to do.”

“Why,” [Redacted] cried out, “why would She do thizzz!” They shook their head at the buzzing sound that left their throat, words catching on it and dragging it out unprompted, “And why can’t I remember my name?”

“I told you, we are replaceable,” Lucifer said, “We are the fallen now, we have been cast aside, for the simple want of being loved. Our grace is burned out, and our names have been ripped away as well.”

[Redacted] gave up all pretense, burying their face in their hands and crying.

“Shh, my dear sibling,” Lucifer said, “there will be time for grief later, for now, we must plan.”

“Plan for what?” [Redacted] asked, trying to wipe the tears from their eyes

“For our revenge,” Lucifer smiled, his teeth now yellowed and sharp. He extended a hand once again, “Rise, Lord Beelzebub, and take your rightful place by my side.”

As Beelzebub looked around, they saw other angels falling through the heavens. Those who undoubtably took Lucifer’s side after the initial casting. Anger welled inside of them at a God who could profess to love but be this vengeful.

Lord Beelzebub made their decision and took their brother’s hand and with it their place as Prince of Hell.

#good omens #beelzebub #my first time writing something centered on them I hope it's good!#also Lucifer is there #but whatevs #senshi I hope you like this #thank you for being an awesome person! <3

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heathenarmyimagines · 6 years

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Title: A Different Time

Summary: (Y/N) tries to give the Vikings a History lesson

Pairing: Ivar x Reader

Taglist: @ubbesgirl, @shewolf2000, @tis-itheapplepie, @atequila, @demoncrypt1066, @greennightspider, @badbitsh13, @fireismysaftey, @minarawr, @laketaj24, @hvitserksgirl, @blahblahcookiesdoma, @fabulous-peasent, @sforsammmmmi, @minmiin1d, @courtrae89, @letsloveimagines, @tomarisela, @titty-teetee, @beyond-the-ashes@elenawrit, @mblaqgi, @whenimaunicorn, @chuflisworld, @mystruggledlife, @moose-squirrel-asstiel, @syreni-dea, @trashqueenbitch, @alykatv, @mbaku-babygirl, @perfectus-in-morte, @beyond-the-ashes, @neeadinghugs, @readsalot73, @triumphantreturnofpies, @anarchy-is-coming, @tephi101, @alicedopey, @ivarslittlebadgirl, @jtrstp, @nejijjeoroo, @charlylama, @ivartheblessed, @captstefanbrandt, @fabulouschrissi, @ivarsrideordie, @3x5gurl, @the-writer-appreciation-blog, @lolabee9, @captainfoxy22, @young-ugly-god, @im5ftbutmythroat66, @bribyyy, @irishhiggins, @cadetomlinson, @keclleon101, @slutforragnarssons, @ltkeke, @meeeeeeeeeps, @lille-kanin, @opalscarab, @ssraven7, @ivarandersen, @concretewaywardangel, @funmadnessandbadassvikings, @sharon-is-tired, @cadetomlinson, @mystruggledlife, @chuflisworld, @justmarissa97, @lol-haha-joke, @weirdly-randomly-awesome, @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanim, @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers, @alexa040004, @buckythetinman , @burntmythroatskullingmytea,@jorunnravenslayer, @two-unbeatable-beaters, @buffy-the-vampire-blogger

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four

Pros of your conversation with Ivar, you felt mildly badass and it also somehow tired you out enough to actually sleep; cons you left all your stuff in the kitchen and had slept in.

Waking up you stretched and yawned before you in a zombie like state you showered and brushed your teeth.

Yesterday felt like a dream, as if you had fallen asleep watching the History Channel, but as soon as you entered the kitchen you realize it was all real.

The Vikings were all surrounding the stove, Bjorn turning the flame on and off seemingly very confused.

‘What are you doing?’ you asked.

If this was your life now you might as well get with the program.

They all looked at you, and you looked back at them, when your eyes land on Ivar he looks away.

Looks like someone is upset with you...oh well.

‘This, what is this, the flame is blue and this...thing, when I turn it this way fire dies and when I do this it rises.’

‘This is a flame stove, the flame is blue because it uses gas to burn and that “thing” is called a dial and it controls how much gas goes to the flame, the more gas the higher the flame and the less the lower the flame. Now get away from the stove so I can make breakfast.’ you said before swatting them all away.

They all watched as you went about the kitchen getting the bread, eggs,bacon.

‘What is that?’ Ubbe asked when you opened the fridge.

‘A refrigerator, keeps food cold so its fresh longer.’ Hvitserk answered, full of confidence.

‘Amazing.’ Lagertha said in wonder.

After the food was all cooked (and after you convinced them that eggs aren’t usually eaten raw) you made everyone’s plate.

After you ate you grabbed your abandoned phone and laptop.

‘What is that, you had it last night.’ Hvitserk asked.

‘You were with her last night?’ Ubbe asked with a smile.

‘Not like that.’ Ivar said before you could.

‘So you were both with her?’

‘No one was with me like that last Ubbe.’ you said as you opened the laptop.

You were about to get started on the educational playlist when you felt the Vikings looking at you.

‘Please don’t ask what this is, I’m not smart enough to explain it. Just go sit in the other room, give me a moment.’ you said quickly.

They all looked like they really REALLY want to ask a shit ton of questions you could never answer, but they followed your instructions.

You were blessed to find an amazing and fully organized playlist by History and another pretty good one by Crash Coarse.

You hurry to the living room and quickly sync your laptop to the TV, and of course they jump to attention.

‘Calm down, just hold on.’ you said.

‘The witch box!’ Hvitserk panicked.

‘Not a witch box, witches don’t exist; its a television. We use it to keep ourselves entertained, and its how you are going to learn what happened in the last few centuries. Minus the Viking part of course, no one needs to know the specifics of their future, especially people who I know will do anything to change it.’ you said.

‘So you’re just gonna say we all die out and leave it at that?’ Ivar asked.

You looked at him and the challenging look he sent you.

‘Yes.’

‘If our religion is gone what is the new religion?’ Ubbe asked.

‘Christianity?’ Ivar spat.

‘Christianity is one of the major religions, but there are all kinds of religions, Muslim, Buddhist, Judaism, there are even a few pagans religions around.’ you clarify.

‘And what are you? A filthy Christian?’ Ivar asked.

‘Yes, I am and I don’t know if you noticed but I didn’t say anything rude to you all about your religion, I expect the same. Now shut up and get educated.’ you said quickly.

You pushed play and the video started.

Music played through the speakers and it was ultimate panic, Vikings were either behind the couch or running around looking for someone.

You roll your eyes as you pause, it honestly hadn’t been three seconds and it took you ten minutes to diffuse the situation and explain as best as you could.

‘OK, I’m going to push play, there is no ghost or a band of musicians hiding in the house.’ you assured.

They all looked at the TV in complete distrust, but still they all nod.

You push play again and this time there is less pandemonium.

They all watch the video and see the animations, and they are instantly entranced.

‘Good now just sit there, watch and learn.’ you sighed in complete relief as you sat on the coffee table.

While they all watched you went through your phone, you were one of those overly organized people

.All the responsibilities that you had you needed to be, payments to be made, appointments, visiting your mother, getting medications for her and your brothers, and sending money to your sister’s account if she needed.

Doing it all while trying to survive as twenty-one year old black woman in today’s America.

Today you would have to go to the pharmacy to sign off on the medications to be sent to your mom’s nursing home and you had a letter for your brothers to drop off at the post office.

You looked back to the Viking who were all completely focused on the TV, this playlist was about hour long...you could make it.

‘Alright I’m going to step out, don’t open any doors, do NOT go outside.’

‘Where are you going?’ Bjorn asked.‘I have errands to run, I’m not as reclusive as Ms. Cookie.’ you said as you go to to the back to get dressed.

As you went through your closet you hummed one of your favorite songs, I care 4 U by Aaliyah.

You got dressed, still humming you put on a simple romper and some heels, by the time you started on your hair you were full on singing.

‘Can I comfort you~’ you sang as you defined your curls.

‘What are you doing to your head?’

You nearly fell over you were so scared, thankfully in your panic you had took hold of the counter to keep yourself from hitting the floor.‘

Dammit! I’m going to put a fucking bell on all you! Silent assholes.’ you complained.

‘I didn’t mean to startle you.’ Ivar said.

You looked at him, wondering what he had followed you for.

‘Did you need the toilet?’ you asked.

‘No, I...wanted to apologize to you. I was upset with my brothers and because of it I was disrespectful to you.’ he said.

You were shocked by his apology, you expected him to be completely unforgiving and easily angered.

That’s what you expected from how he was described.

‘And will you apologize to your brothers? They deserve one from you as well, and maybe you will receive one in return.’ you said.

Ivar looked away.

‘I’ll take that as a solid nope.’ you sighed as you went back to curling your hair with your fingers.

‘Honestly what are you doing to that head of yours?’ Ivar asked.

‘Ummm...doing my hair?’

Ivar looked up at your hair and squinted in confusion.

‘Your hair is strange.’ he said.

‘Said the white boy with loose braids, go back and finish watching the history videos.’ you smiled.

‘I’ve lost interest in them, I do not care for the past, I am here in this time.’ he dismissed.

‘I get that, but I kinda need you all sitting in front of the TV where you will stay out of trouble, now go.’ you said.

Ivar rolled his eyes and made no move to leave.

‘How do you make sex more interesting?’ he asked.

You nearly choked.

‘Wha-what the hell is with you all asking me about sex?’ you asked trying to finish your hair faster so you could get away from this conversation.

‘Hvitserk said you use children toys.’

‘Not children toys!’ you groaned.

‘Then what toys?’

‘Those are a completely different kind of videos I am not looking forward to showing you.’ you shook your head.

‘There are videos of sex?’ Hvitserk said as he enters the bathroom.

‘So you were indeed talking bout sex together last night.’ Ubbe accused as he and everyone else came into the bathroom.

‘Seriously, was anyone listening when I said the bathroom was a place of privacy?’

‘What is this I hear about more interesting sex?’ Bjorn asked.

‘I am also curious about these toys?’ asked Lagertha.

‘Oh my sweet Jesus, OK if you all just go back to the couch and get back to the video I will answer all your weird sex and sex toy questions. Just let me finish my damn hair and run my errands. Please.’ you begged.

‘Fine.’ Ubbe said as they all left.

You sighed at you just gave up on perfect and just settled for decent curls and put on a head band, because with the way things were going there was no way you could give your edges the TLC they required.

After you declared yourself public ready you grabbed your purse and the letter for your brothers off the desk and went to leave.

Once you got to the den you realize that the TV and Laptop had disconnected, that would explain the bathroom meeting just now.

Quickly you fixed the technical difficulties and decided to make a few sandwiches just in case they got hungry.

‘Alright, there is a plate of sandwiches for you all in the kitchen, I will be back as fast as I can.’ you said as you headed for the door.

‘And you will tell us about the sex videos when you return?’ Ubbe asked.

‘Don’t remind me.’ you said through a forced smile as you closed the door behind you.

‘Seriously don’t.’

#ivar imagine #ivar the boneless #ivar x reader #bjorn ironside #hvitserk lothbrok #ubbe lothbrok #lagertha #vikings imagine #A Different Time

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speculative-scintillation · 6 years

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Hello new follower people!

I’ve noticed there are significantly more of you here now than there were when I started a partial hiatus a few weeks ago, so HELLO!

I am now mostly here, so allow me to tell the newcomers a bit about what I do.

A bit about me. My name’s Aurora, I’m 18, and I’m learning how to fly. I plan on building my own plane at some point and being a bush pilot. When I’m not studying or reviewing regulations, I’m writing. I write a lot of things, but I focus my efforts mostly on science fiction.

I currently live in the midwest United States, but I’ve moved 10 times to 7 states, and spent at least a week in more than 40. I currently have a cat and a dog, which is strange because I grew up with anywhere from 8 to 10 cats in the house and no dogs. My cat is a Siamese domestic shorthair mix named Samhain (after the Wiccan holiday) and our dog is a German shepherd labrador mix called Ananda (and I don’t remember where that word comes from, but it means peace and joy in life).

I come from a family of writers. My father’s book “The Empire Has No Clothes: Observations on life, humanity, and America by someone who missed the announcement” was an award finalist in the "Social Change" category of the 2017 Best Book Awards, and my Aunt’s most recent essay won at the county and state level at the North Carolina Senior Games Heritage and Visual Arts section for Life Events Essays. So yeah, I have a lot to live up to.

My favorite things to do on a weekend are hiking, shopping, or patrolling the internet for quotes and memes. On a lazy afternoon, I like to play Animal Crossing or watch television. I’m a nocturnal writer and most of my work is done between midnight and 4 am, which is a nuisance to the commonly accepted schedule, but then again, I’m a nuisance to a commonly accepted anything, so there is that.

I’m a rebel and bandito by blood, a casual goth, and a huge nerd. My favorite television shows are Babylon 5, Firefly, Eureka, Criminal Minds, Manifest, Pitbulls & Parolees, West World, and the original MacGyver (How’s that for a mix). My favorite movie is Arrival, closely followed by Real Genius. My favorite book is, at the moment, Lakota Woman by Mary Crow Dog, but I have a soft spot for anything by Kurt Vonnegut, Isaac Asimov, or Larry Niven. My favorite bands are Twenty One Pilots, Nothing But Thieves, Matt Maeson, and Koethe.

Every day I post a new song that I think you should check out and a quote that usually relates to writing. I try to post a poem every Tuesday and an informational post every Thursday, but I’m lucky to do two of each of those in a month. I love making mood boards, but I don’t post enough of them, and I rarely talk about my stories in detail until I have the first draft done.

My current Works in Progress are The Ragged Edge, previously known as Hives of Hell (and I have not updated its page yet), A Phoenix in Blue, The Guide to Interstellar Conduct, and Refurbished.

The Ragged Edge/HoH is a sci-fi about the people whose job it is to be tech support for owners of androids. Check out it’s (slightly outdated) tab on my blog for more info.

A Phoenix in Blue is my attempt to fix that which cannot be saved, as was proven by itself, it's two spin-offs that crashed an burned, a movie that should never have existed, and a proposed new reboot which no TV station will pick up, but it is the terrible Phoenix that refuses to die, Knight Rider. My dad convinced me to watch the pilot with him by selling me this fabulous idea but the only thing that this show did was piss me off. So much, in fact, that I could not live with the fact that the idea had gone so horribly to waste and I have been writing this shitty series available only to those on my email list ever since.

I would also like to point out that this is not the first thing by Glen A. Larson I’ve had this reaction to, so it’s fueled massively by a personal beef with the producer and an absolute loathing hatred of the Hoff. I’m not sorry.

It takes a sort of a spin-off form, butting heads with the original only twice (so far). What it is, basically, is a story that starts with all of the tasty backstory of Knight Industries and then takes off in a completely different direction just before the time when the show starts, to end in a sweet spot for irony from where the rest of the series evolves.

What it’s mainly about though is human ethics, the subjectivity of good and evil, and the human nature to attack that which they fear and fear that which they do not understand. It addresses the psychological mistrust that people have with machines, and the difficulties that machines would have understanding us just by observing our behavior, and that it all boils down to the fact that all we’re doing is observing each other’s behavior and not asking why we do the things we do. It’s simply a matter of judgment over rationality, or “You don’t do the same things I do, so you must be crazy”, instead of “You don’t do the same things I do so we must have different reasons for acting the way we do. You must have a different interpretation of the world than I do, and that’s fine because there are 7 billion humans on Earth and no two of us will ever be the same, so what right do we have to judge each other for being different?”.

It’s also about children -oddly enough- specifically child development, touching not-so-lightly on theories like Bowlby's Attachment Theory and several others without mentioning them by name or going into the science, but exploring them by situation. A major part of the story is a comparison of the way that the AI character develops to the way that children develop, explaining that the way they were “raised” and the way they were taught influences what they will become, it isn’t just an innate desire to be evil (I had fun throwing KARR into the mix with that one).

The rest of it deals with situations of violence and surrounding psychology, again addressing them by exploring them in a situation. It behaves a bit more like Criminal Minds in that way.

Because I can’t do anything with it (publishing wise), it also serves as my proving ground for new theme ideas that I can explore in other stories, and it's my go-to for dealing with my own emotions. With over 20 outlined stories and at least 10 more floating around in the air, I've come to hate the fact that A Phoenix in Blue will never see the light of day.

The Guide to Interstellar Conduct is a series about the evolution of an interstellar alliance between several species of massively different philosophies. There are over 20 races that I’m in the process of building for this story, half a dozen or more complete worlds, two at least functional languages, and more spaceships than I care to count.

It’s an evolving history of interstellar travel in our galaxy and what happens to races after their first contacts with other races which stretches on through the development of the interstellar alliance to the first interstellar war and out the other side.

It’s become pretty involved with issues of modern and future politics as well as the differences between the races within the union, and its entire purpose is to zoom way the hell out and put a broader perspective on Earth’s global politics through the magic of science fiction.

It also sets up a universe that I play around in a few other stories not directly tied to the series, most of which are used to promote scientific thinking, logic, and common sense as well as encourage public education, community across racial, political, and physical boundaries, equity, and acceptance.

It’s still mostly in the world-build phase, but I have four books outlined and two floating around.

Refurbished... hurts. It’s an AI story- because I live and breathe them (ironically). It’s a fairly unconventional singularity story in which both robots and humans are both good and evil in a war that began from a lifetime of silent protest no one ever knew was happening. When androids had passed the points of fear and self-awareness long ago, but built to keep what they were bottled within them, and the only ones who knew were those who built them, those who had been fighting for them the whole time. They are now those who are caught in the middle as the bottle is shattered, and they must decide who they are in a war that both sides can’t win.

I like leaving this story mostly open to interpretation. There is more than one message circling around in this one, and it borrows a lot from the themes started in a Phoenix in Blue and bends them into a slightly different shape. That’s all I’ll say.

#about me #writeblr #new writeblr #not actually that new but progress is slow #writing #writers #blog intro #blog introduction #addict with a pen

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calliecat93 · 6 years

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Callie Reviews: TMNT 2012 Season One (Part One)

Ever since 1984, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise has gone form a cult-status indie comic to a massive mass market. There have been various comics, movies, video games, merchandise, and of course cartoons. And it’s easy to see why. TMNT’s concept, a group of mutated teen turtles fighting evil in New York, is both incredibly bizarre and incredibly appealing to a mass audience. You have action, science fiction, martial arts, and of course plenty of mutant ideas to make toys out of. The fact that this Fall will be releasing the fourth animated TMNT series and that a new movie series is in production shows that even over 30 years later, this is a franchise that is far from losing it’s power.

As a kid, I of course knew that Turtles as a thing and I even watch parts of 2k3. But I was never really a fan until the day I stumbled upon the 2012 show. I fell in love with it and, since it started when I was just starting this blog, it was a huge focus for me for several years. I have since moved on and while I’m going to check out the 2018 show, I don’t think I’m going to be as crazy as I was with this show (but never say never). Back in 2012, I was someone who... lets say ignored the flaws and defended the show far too passive aggressively to the point that looking at my older stuff makes me want to blow up by blog.

Nowadays, while some of my opinions hold true (like the ‘Donnie is a stalker’ accusations are still bullshit), I am more willing to admit the shows problems, especially now that I can take the show in fully. I also like to believe that I’ve become a better reviewer since I was 19 years old, plus it had been far too long since I went back over the show form the very beginning. So does the show still hold up? Will 25 year old Callie feel differently than 19 year old Callie did? Well we’re about to find out. This is the TMNT 2012 Season One Review!

The Premiere (Episodes 1-2)

Our story begins with a training sequence that introduces us to the titular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo. Along with some minor character establishment, like Mikey being the funny one and Raph the violent one, the biggest thing here is one of the shows strengths: the choreography. It’s best exhibited in Leo and Raph’s duel. The movements are very fluid and well-paced. It’s fast, but not too fast, it’s enough to move things along but still let you take in all the impacts. It’s very well done. Raph ends up winning and we are introduce to the boys mentor and father, Master Splinter. Aka, the best written character int he show, but we’ll get to that later.

After the opening theme, we cut to the boys 15th Mutation Day where we get our backstory. Borrowing from the 80′s show origin, Splinter was once a young man named Hamato Yoshi. He had just bought four pet turtles when he stumbled across a shady dealing. Being a ninja master, he was able to fight back, but he ended up getting splattered with a strange green substance. This turned him into a rat, as one brushed his ankle while the baby Turtles become anthropomorphic. Yoshi, taking on the name Splinter, fled to the sewers and raised the four turtles as his own as well as taught them ninjutsu. It’s a simple, but still solid telling of the origin that pays tribute to previous origins, leaves some mystery about the substance and who was dealing it, and is told with use of comic-style panels reminiscent of the original comics.

The Turtles, having lived in the sewers since their mutation, are hoping to convince Splinter to let them finally go to the surface. After some begging, Splinter reluctantly agrees. We then cut to Leo watching a Star Trek: The Animated Series parody where we learn of his desire to become a great hero and leader. This is interesting for several reasons. One, it establishes that Leo isn’t the leader of the group yet, a departure form normal as he’s normally put into that role automatically. And second, ti does a great job at character establishment. In previous versions, Leo is often seen as the boring, overly leader type. Not a bad character mind you, but he lacks the quirkiness that the tough Raph, genius Donnie, and wild child Mikey present. Here? Leo is shown to be an idealistic, naive, but good-intention kid who aspires to be a great hero like he sees on TV as well as give shim some dorky characteristics, like quoting cheesy one-liners to sound more heroic. It helps make him more relateable, funny, and sets up a character arc for when he does inevitably become the leader. Very well done.

The boys finally go to the surface, and are in awe of what they see. They even discover their trademark favorite food, pizza. Given that they only ever ate worms and algae until this point, it makes their love of it all the more understandable. But not all goes well as they soon witness a group of business men kidnapping a red-haired teenager and her father. They attempt to help, but end up only beating each other up and the bad guys get away with their captives. Mikey ends up beating up one and discovers... a brain with tentacles... yipe... he tries to tell the other three, but they don’t believe him. A common trend in the show.

Upon returning home, the boys try to blame each other for the failure before Splinter accepts it for not giving them proper training as a team. While he considers keeping them down below for another year, Donnie convinces him to let them go help the girl due to seeing how terrified she was and how they failed to help her... and because of the crush he developed in a record five seconds. Splinter agrees, but first assigns Leo as the official leader, much to the ire of Raph. They’re eventually able to find the kidnappers vehicle and wreck it, capturing the driver named Snake and they discover a vat of a glowing green substance. A vat that they recognize as the same one that caused their original mutation.

Snake, after Raph threatens to mutate him, leads the boys to the facility where the captives are... and uses the boys bickering as a chance to escape. Leo uses this to trick the crook into thinking that they’re going to plow his van into the place as he conducts a plan to sneak in. All while Roah is an asshole who refuses to listen and outright undermines Leo’s orders. Yeah, Raph is a real jerk during this season. FYI. When Leo shows hesitance about his plan, Splinter tells him of his final confrontation against his rival Oroku Saki, aka The Shredder. It ended in his wife being killed, his house burning down, and his infant daughter nowhere to be found. Well, that won’t be important in any way, shape, or form later! The point being that he lost everything, but gained the boys, easing Leo’s worries about how much is riding on the plan.

So yeah the boys crash the van, Snake gets mutated, the boys break in, fight some guards, and Mikey proves that he isn’t crazy about the aliens.. and then trips an alarm. Smooth Mikey, smooth. They find the captives, that being this version of April O’Neil and her scientist father. Now in most versions, April is an adult woman. Here? She is aged down and is around sixteen years old. We’ll talk more about that later. The bad guys, aka The Kraang, take the captives away and as the boys give chase,t hey are confronted by the mutant Snake... who is a weed monster. Hey, that’s breaking supervillain rules writers! If you have an evil sounding name, that’s what you turn into! Donnie is sent to rescue the O’Neil’s as the other three face Snakeweed... Mikey’s idea, not mine.

The boys eventually defeat Snake via Leo’s direction and mass electrocution while Donnie is able to rescue April, but her father is taken away. April plans to find him however, no matter what it takes with the boys promising to help in whatever way they can. Once home, Leo finds out the complex reasoning for why he was named the leader over everyone else... because he asked. Ming-boggling, right? Well there is actually another reason, but we’ll talk about this in S4. The boys also made the news as their shruriken got found, but come on, what could one tiny news story do that would be bad? Well... being seen by your master’s worst enemy and re-igniting his lust for vengeance might count! Woopsie!

Overall, a solid two parter. It establishes the characters well, has fun fight scenes, the animation is a little dated now but still pretty good, the dialogue is funny, and it does a good job setting up future plotlines while fulfilling it’s own plot. It started 2k12 off on the right foot and was still enjoyable over five years since it’s initial premiere.

The Beginning (Episodes 3-8)

The episodes following the premiere create a steady flow of creating the status quo. You have episodes like Turtle Temper, Metalhead, and Monkey Brains (kinda) that have the boys dealing with the Kraang’s Plan of the Week as they continue their mutagen experiments. It helps with character development and some minor plot progression, such as Raph learning how dangerous his anger can be and Donnie learning to rely on his instincts rather than on his mind 100% of the time. Some are going to want me to comment on the shipping stuff, But I’m gonna save that for later. The biggest issue with these episodes, aside from Monkey Brains, is the Kraang. They are not interesting as villains at all. As great a VA as Nolan North is, the Kraang’s way of talking just gets... annoying. It doesn't help that the threat ultimately becomes either an accidental mutant or Donnie’s robot... well okay a Kraang possessed the later, but it shows that those are more interesting villains than the Kraang themselves and they exist mroe to just have an excuse for a plot. It’s really irking after awhile.

As far as plot goes, it’s mostly your usual ‘Monster of the Week’ stuff. But it has some small things that have a larger impact later. For one, in Monkey Brains, April begins to tap into what looks like some strong emphatic abilities. More on this next season. But due to this, Splinter decides to take April on as a student and train her to be a kunoichi (a female ninja). This will be the largest part of her character for the remainder of the series. April herself... is not utilized as well as she could have been in these early episodes. She’s described as the boys guide to the outside world, and she does serve that in some respects. For example, introducing Mikey to social media in New Friend, Old Enemy to let him make friends without exposing his mutant identity. And in Never Say Xever she takes them to a blind man’s shop so that they can actually experience life topside for once. The issue is we never see April establish bonds with the boys or Splinter after her introduction. In New Friend, Old Enemy she just acts like she’s been friends with the guys for awhile and after showing Mikey the net, doesn’t appear or is even mentioned in the episode again. She disappears after her importance in Metalhead as well, but she is given mroe to work with there at least. I glossed over this when I was watching the show and April does get mroe time with the guys, her relationship with Splinter being one of my favorites. Still, they didn’t do a lot with having April become part of the group or really act on her role as their ‘guide’ and I feel they just wanted to ignore it to get to the other stuff. Which is just a bummer.

So you’re probably wondering about Shredder stuff, right? Well thankfully the Foot Episodes are also the most plot relevant episodes. It starts with New Friend, Old Enemy where Shredder arrives in New York and assigns one of his lieutenants, a famous martial artist named Chris Bradford, to find out about Splinter. The Foot end up encountering the Turtles, with Bradford later using this to manipulate Mikey after accidentally becoming online friends with him. He captures him and use shim as bait to lure out the other three and then follow them to where Splinter is hiding. It fails with the boys using their knowledge of the sewers to literally wash Bradford and his partner, Xever, away. Along with the dangers of meeting people you don’t really know on social media, the episode presents a very unique lesson. In a fight for your life, screw fairness, You fight by any means necessary to stay alive, including fighting dirty. Most shows emphasize on being fair, but this one actually acknowledges that if your life is on the line, you do what it takes to get out alive. It’s a unique message for a kids show and one that I really appreciate.

Next is Never Say Xever where Xever gets to lead the charge. After the boys track down the two and get beat up, Xever receives inlet from the Purple Dragons, who int his version are pretty much a trio of teen thugs. The Turtles fought them off earlier at the shop April took them to, with Leo sparing the leader as an act of mercy. Something that Raph takes umbridge with... as he does with most anything that Leo does in the first half of the series. It’s no surprise that Leo and Raph butt heads, as they do in most series, and it follows their respective arcs. Leo having to deal with being leader as well as realizing that it’s much more pressuring and unforgiving than he thought, while Raph act son his jealousy that Leo got the position even though he’s the better fighter and therefore questioning Leo’s orders or outright just being an asshole for no good reason. But after the shop owner is kidnapped to lure the Turtles out, Leo’s act of mercy ends up saving them as the lead Dragon repays the favor by throwing him back his discarded sword. Which Leo uses to break a water tower to wash the bad guys away again. Angered, The Shredder decides to handle the Turtles himself.

The episodes do a good job in establishing a solid status quo. Bad guy does a thing, one character has their B-Plot to deal with, there’s a clash, the plots intertwine, bad guy gets defeated, and the lesson of the day is learned. A simple routine, but it works here. Plus we get plenty of character establishment and moments which makes you care about them. For example even though Raph is a massive jerk, the end of New Friend, Old Enemy has his comfort Mikey after the deceit and have him see that he’s a good kid who simply got duped as anyone else would. With this being after Raph mocked him wanting to make friends throughout the episode, it helped show that he does have a caring side. Leo frequently has issues with being a leader, such as dealing with Raph and moments like in ITHNiBS where the guys outright refuse to listen to him when he tries to remind them that they’re grounded. Even Splinter has a lot of moments, being a stern but fair parental figure and wise mentor, but is also snarky as Hell. We also see hints to how much the past has affected him, like after April agrees to undergo kunoichi training and leaves the dojo, there’s just a brief moment where he looks down with a forlorn expression. As though wishing that he was telling this to his own MIA daughter. It’s so subtle, but it speaks volumes about his emotional state.

The characters are ultimately what makes these episodes works and what I would say is the strongest part of the series. You are likely going to relate to or like someone from this show and their progression. But now that we have a fully formed status quo, it’s time to shake it up a little bit and have the Turtles experience their first hard dose of reality.

The Escalation (Epsidoes 9-13)

Episode 9 begins as a typical ‘Mutant of the Week’ plot with the guys trying to catch a pigeon mutant that was after April. But when they do, they discover that he was simply trying to deliver a message... from her father. The message warns her to get out of the city due to a mutagen bomb, but she refuses to leave without him. As such,t he Turtles... somehow... find where Mr. O’Neil is and try to save him. While they get him out of the cell and get the location of the bomb, Mr. O’Neil sacrifices himself when the Kraang outnumber them so that the boys can protect April. All while poor April can only watch, helpless to do anything. Ouch...

The Turtles can only go to where the bomb is to disarm it, but things get further complicated when Bradford and Xever attack, wanting payback from before. Fortunately Donnie disarms the bomb and the four corner the two, but Bradford refuse sot go down quietly and stabs the bomb, but all it does is mutate himself and Xever. But ti also washes them away.... again. I should also point out that this point,t he Turtles have gotten incredibly over-confident since they’ve beaten every bad guy so far, feeling unstoppable. So then... Shredder arrives. Yep. And he kicks their shells HARD. Liek he holds no punches, he easily over-powers all four of them and almost stabs Leo int he head. The only reason that they escape is Shredder getting distracted by his now mutated lieutenants. But the boys retreat, badly beaten up and completely demoralized.

The next episode focuses on the fallout. The four are mostly feeling better, but their fears are being escalated by, of all people, Splinter. This is due to the boys nearly getting killed by his long-time rival re-igniting his own trauma and having nightmares over losing them, causing him to again keep them in the sewers and be far more harsh with his training. The only one doing moderately well is April, who gets intel about the Foot planning to destroy the sewers. The Turtles try to stop it, but get pounded by Bradford, who is now a giant dog mutant named Dogpound. This forces April to get the inlet herself, but she gets caught an captured by the Foot. This further brings Leo down, but to his surprise Raph actually encourages him to pull himself together and lead the team. The Turtles manage to both save April and stop the Foot from destroying the sewers with Splinter apologizing for allowing his fears to affect both himself and his sons. Overall, a solid pair of episodes that bring the boys down a bit, finally has all the plots meet somewhere, and deliver a strong message about not letting fear control you or the others around you.

After a filler episode where the only importance is Shredder forcibly recruiting Stockman to his forces, we get some more Kraang stuff with Episode 12. Where we actually show them being dangerous. Shocker, right?! It also introduces us to long-time supporting character within the franchise Leatherhead. Here he is an alligator mutant who the Kraang experimented on and it causes him to have violent fits of rage if he so much as hears the word ‘Kraang’. The Turtles end up saving him when the Kraang try to re-capture him, but find his angry bursts, well... dangerous. But Mikey is able to befriend him and it becomes more clear that LH is actually a rather intelligent, good-hearted mutant who has been put through Hell. He gets run off by Splinter though when one of his trauma-induced bursts causes him to attack the boys, forcing the rat master to intervene. Mikey, and by proxy the other three, give chase to an old subway car where LH reveals how the Kraang took him to their home, Dimension X, and experimented on him. He escaped and also took their Power Cell, cutting them off form Dimension X, in hopes of saving humanity from them. The Kraang want it back and act like a zombie swarm as they break through the car. LH fights them off, leaving the Power Cell in the Turtles care.

While Episode 11 sucks (to put it simply Leo and Raph are overbearing assholes while Donnie and Mikey are just made to be as weak as possible), the other three do a good job at making the villains more solid threats. Shredder was built up as intimidating and powerful, and boy did he deliver. The Turtles face their first major loss and have to deal with the fallout, Leo especially dealing with his first real failure as a leader. Even the Kraang come off as a scarier hivemind and we get mroe stuff on them, like Dimension X and their plans to mutate the Earth. Add that with a strong supporting character like Leatherhead, who is understandably traumatized but is an intelligent being who is trying to prevent others form suffering like him. and it helps make some strong episodes.

The first half of the season concludes with the 13th episodes... that aired as the 14th for some reason. But I’m going in order of my DVD’s and this was after Episode 12, so it’s what I’m going with. It both concludes a lot and opens up a lot for the future. The episode I am talking about is, of course New Girl in Town.

TBC in Part Two....

#tmnt #2k12 #tmnt 2012 #callie reviews

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dwestfieldblog · 7 years

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A WITCHES BREW

How many impossible things to believe before a psychedelic breakfast today? Welcome to here there and everywhere, now then and every when. You are reading a man who rhymes quantum with random because it makes sense, good luck.

Way too much normal news last time, so I will limit such to 3 things I have seen only by accident this month...President Benny of Israel (seems like he has been in power a looong time now) has said (without any signs of irony) that Israel understands the desire of the Kurds for their own state. Altogether now...Hmmm. Allow your sentience to fill in the blanks...but not in the occupied territories.

Anyway and meanwhile...Well, America, it looks as if your destiny is manifesting right before your very eyes. You must feel like true master magicians. Loved Trump's rant at the United/Untied Nations Assembly about North Korea...they will be 'totally destroyed', like I mean, you know, to-tally...'The righteous many need to confront the wicked few'. They tried that recently in the USA by standing up to racists and fascists of the moronic ku klax klan and the neo wannabe hitlers...and Duck Fart just said there was...'good and bad on both sides'...So...so much for the wicked few running scared. This man is a gift for the Conspiracy for Counter Evolution. The ideal puppet ass clown.

Now is that any way to talk about the leader of the free world? Arf.

Duck Fart's famous low attention span...intelligence dies when it cannot focus for long (or even moderate) periods. Energy becomes hollowed out, running on empty and burning only on finite ego. Thought of the Golden One again when I read last week about Uncle Stalin regularly executing the chiefs of his secret police due to his paranoia...(which ended up killing him anyway...) That said, few can be sad at the ignominious removal of the foul Steve Bannon. May Breitbart bite the big one soon. Inashallah, Sieg Heil. Hail Mary. Ex president Shrub behaved like a goofy child of nine, Trump comes across like a petulant teen, sullenly trying to look serious among the adults and then regressing to phone slamming and storming off to his room to play with his phone. Impeach this reptile incubus now, ridicule him into utter obscurity. Then focus your intelligence on his up and coming son. The emperor's boy has seen the nearness of the crown of glory... Anyone in America who isn't paranoid these days must be crazy.

That which is objectively repressed will become subjectively repressed. (The unspeakable becomes unthinkable)...and deeper and deeper it goes... Everything not compulsory is going to be forbidden.

Speaking of which...

Better the devil you think you know? (If you cannot banish you really shouldn't summon...) *acebook has proudly stated recently that it now 'has the largest facial dataset to date'. It spends over 10million dollars per year on a host of creepy self empowerment, including attempts to stop biometric privacy legislation. That's right, to stop it. So every time you post a selfie of you or your friends, the facial points and characteristics are noted in geometrical computer images to be used at a later date...perhaps just to send you advertisements of exciting consumer goods...or for...well...(Orwell) just about anything your rational paranoia could dream up at 3 am. Nice idea to have a future president Zuckerberg who not only has all the power but who genuinely knows everything about you.

'...because any wizard bright enough to survive for five minutes was bright enough to realise that if there was any power in demonology, then it lay with demons. Using it for your own purposes would be like trying to beat mice to death with a rattlesnake.' T.Prachett. Just ask Cagliostro....

Mass surveys in the western world declare that the majority of water we drink via taps at home is packed with plastic particles. By the end of the century the 'average' person will be ingesting 780,000 bits of micro plastic a year...within this is included the 11,000 we already eat via seafood. 'Fresh' or otherwise...Damn, that's 4 news items. Time to ignore ALL news again and feel mental health rising...

'Verily a polluted stream is man, One must be an ocean to receive a polluted stream without becoming unclean'. Freddie nails it again...

Creation was caused by focused thought form radiations of a higher oscillating force upon binary possibility waves...Obviously, concentrating upon particulars (AKA, the devil is in the detail) raises your evolutionary energies...Time and space are only real to our sensory organs, they ain't really real. Our consciousness on every level controls events... imprints/ influences information fields around us to shape 'reality'. Which as a child knows, is subjective. Okay? YOU are a magician.

'To open the eternal worlds, to open the immortal eyes of man Inwards,

into the worlds of thought, into Eternity'. William Blake...who also wrote (as the ancients knew and thus created 'Satans' in order to posit an alternative perspective in democratic debate) '...without contraries is no progression'.

Ha. Just remembered that during my drug fuelled year at college I had an optional lesson period called 'Does God Exist?' I am childishly amused to admit I have NO idea what the 'conclusive' final lesson was or how we even got any type of grade.

When did the intelligence rot start? Another generation might say the Fifties, some years after the last world war when the mass began to ease up on their tensions just a little, when consumer society was held up as a cheerful life affirming way forward. Could be after the hippy dream was crushed, crashed and almost burned out in 69...Many believe it to be when mankind began building cities. That sounds about right.

Blurred coherence in the pointless. There seems to have been decades of mass infiltration of universities in the Western world...Governments have seen that they are indeed hotbeds (to coin a cliché) of various think-for -yourself types to question right wing authority. Even though the majority of students just end up conforming to conservative consumerist capitalism within five years of leaving university. (No I am NOT a socialist).

Perhaps this has led to manipulations and insertions of topics, themes, curricula, which as my last blog said, direct the attention elsewhere into meaningless debates to filibuster time. Idle, soul decaying distractions.

By what educative standard has it become acceptable to receive a doctorate by writing a thesis on 'The Prevalence of Alienation in Modern Soccer.' or 'Madonna, Beyonce and Miley Cyrus - 21st Century Amazonian Philosphers?' Uff. Mind you, I recently downloaded a PDF of 'The Middle Pillar - A Balance Between Mind and Magic' by Israel Regardie...which had been stamped with a Pennsylvania State Campus Library mark, so perhaps there are pockets of intelligent understanding in various universities...to balance a new white race of uneducated cowards. Hope is an eternal spring:-)

Those who hunger for the glory of an old empire, stop looking back, something wicked caught up with you and went past a long time ago. It awaits afore ye. And as for those who want a new empire based on a similar dominant ideology of allegiance to an invisible sky wizard or else painful death, God just told me that you should forget it. She says you have wasted your whole/hole lives on nothing, but she understands you needed a hobby.

Never once in my life have I felt the need to follow the mass. (Hurrah and hallelujah for me eh?) I felt deeply uneasy around primary colours as as child, the bright plastic magnetic letters on the fridge...(M is for Mummy.) The lesson in primary school when we were taught about English kings...on hearing about the 'divine right', I felt an internal frown of 'That's not right, that's wrong'. My disobedience to the casual arrogance of presumed authority began then. Possibly at seven years old. Four years later in a little notebook I scrawled 'Because an idea is 'traditional', does this make it RIGHT'? Too little self knowledge appears to be a dangerous thing. Know thyselves. Dave, you can't be Sirius:-)

'I slept with Faith and found her a corpse in the morning. I drank and danced all night with doubt and found her a virgin in the morning.' A.C.

Ban the word 'Is'. Globally adopt the idea proposed by Alfred Korzybski, that English Prime (E-Prime) should be used in all scientific works, in order to more accurately report facts of possible reality than to state it IS. IE...it seems to be. Using this in ALL conversations and writings might well move humanity onwards.

The Earth vibrates at 7 hertz per second...equivalent to the alpha brain wave/dream state. Add this to the oscillations of the brain and we would seem to be hypnotised in a magnetic force field. No wonder we appear to be sleepwalking through this virtual reality TV of life. We are.

'All that we are is the result of all that we have thought'. Buddha.

This year I fell in love with a possibility and the energy of that idea created a tiny universe of works. And still is. (Whoops, seems to be, arf) Needs to be a balance between discipline and chaos, but the balance needs to be imposed by free will. Turned on by fascination...Everything is (appears to be, in my perception) permissible...if you accept the consequence. Can you? Would you? Say Yes.

Our circle is cast...

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darlingyoullbeokay-soon · 5 years

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So, imagine this. You’ve been talking to a guy for a couple of months, he seems sweet, he’s really cute and he actually seems like a good guy. You wonder how did you find someone so perfect. You’ve spent every day texting, exchanging photos on Snapchat and every minute is taken up by them. You think it’s going to be great.

You decide to go on a date. You tell your friends, and they joke he’s a catfish. But, you know he can’t be, you’ve seen pictures of him.

You arrive at the place of the date, ready to meet the guy of your dreams. However, you can’t see him there. Someone in the background waves at you, they shout your name- you realise this is the person you were talking to all along. In fact, his name is Greg, he’s 20 years older than he said, and nothing about him resembles the 20 year old football player who looked like a model. In fact, the only thing about him that is actually truthful is the fact he’s a man- but not the man you were expecting.

I’m not about to lay out the typical image we have of a catfish being a 30 year old man who sits in his mothers basement, eating his life away and tricking 17 year old girls on the internet. That’s not exactly what every catfish is like. Maybe it turns out to be a girl, someone who wants revenge on you, or that guy who always had a crush on you but you never took him on because you didn’t like him back- and that’s fine.

Catfishing is becoming more popular now, due to the fact more people know what it is, and the ways that catfish can hide behind various social media. However, people are still being catfished and have no idea how to prevent this from even happening in the first place.

I was catfished about 8 years ago now, and it was the worst thing that happened to me. It made me feel shitty about myself, it made me feel so stupid, and I didn’t want to talk about it. This was before Catfish the TV show was popular, and no one really talked about this being a thing. It was stupid, and thankfully I never met this person or even tried to meet them, they were just an ‘internet friend’. My catfish story is one that is really quite ridiculous- cue the catfish pretending they were at least 5 diff people (good effort really), acting like one had been in a car crash, one was going to jump off a building and shot someone in the head leaving them in a coma… and I believed it all!

We look at these people on catfish and think that they’re stupid for falling for this, but I did, and many people still do to this day. So, today, I am going to lay down how to spot, or how to even, catch a catfish, because they are the secret people that live among us. And this is going to be a new series on my blog. So, for now, here are some basic ways that you can find out if you’re being catfished.

Do they talk on the phone…

This is a super easy way to tell if you’re being catfished! Most people own a phone that they can talk on, or have access to one. If they always avoid talking on the phone, or facetiming, then start to have your suspicions. Maybe, they are naturally anxious about talking on the phone or skyping, but if they give lame excuses or super dramatic ones, then they are most likely hiding something.

The examples of ‘my car broke down’ ‘my cat died’ ‘i don’t even have a phone number’ are not acceptable. If they are talking to you, they have access to the internet or a phone, think about this!

Do they send photos that look different to each other…

Let’s use an example I encountered a couple of weeks ago. I received a photo that didn’t look like the photo of them I’d seen. I called them a catfish, and was automatically removed.

If they send you one photo and then one that looks a bit different, question them on it. Sometimes, there is a reasonable excuse, but it’s a good way to catch a catfish out.

Are their photos too good to be true?

We know where I’m going here. Are their photos model like? Are they constantly posing in what seems to be a brilliantly edited version of themselves?

Maybe, once in a blue moon, you’re talking to one of these models. Though, most of the time, you’re not.

There is a really simple way to check this. Google offers a brilliant reverse image search.

Let’s take this step by step.

Here I decided to search ‘model man photo’. A great one to also try is ‘teen boy emo’ if they’re going for that vibe. Those types of photos get used A LOT.

I googled ‘model man photo’ and I picked the one of the guy sitting on a crate.

2. I then saved the photo and decided to reverse search it. You can find this easily by searching ‘google reverse image search’. All you do then is pop in the image and give it a quick search.

Ta da! Upload the image you think this person may be using of someone else.

3. Wait for the results. It was kind of obvious I was going to get a result back for it, but then you can find all the search results that also contain this same picture. There are 25 billion results for this one picture!!

4. Maybe this technique might not work and you might not find anything, but don’t be disheartened. There are other ways to catch a catfish!

Are the Snapchats they send actual Snapchats or photos from camera roll?

It gets a bit weird if someone starts to send you selfies on snapchat from their camera roll, or videos from their camera roll. Sure, it could be a video of the person you think you’re talking to, but with screen recording now, this could just be a screen record of the person you think you’re talking to. Always look out for the bit in the corner that says the picture or video is from camera roll or for pictures that appear in the chat rather than as an actual snapchat.

Ask them to send a real time snapchat, and see what they do.

Have they ever disappeared for a while and then come back with some weird excuse?

I.E. Did they try to ghost you, and thought they could but then realised they’re addicted to the catfishing game and just couldn’t stop…

A catfish may try to stop what they are doing, and attempt to ghost you. Believe me, this happened to me, but then more characters were added to their list of ‘friends’. It was just them, all along, I still think how much effort it must have taken.

Everyone can drop you a quick text of ‘hey, I was busy and sorry about that’, but the dramatic stories are the ones to look out for. Elaborate tales of car crashes, relatives dying, houses burning down, phones blowing up, aliens invading the earth are to be QUESTIONED.

Maybe, sometimes they’re true, but Sam did not almost die from a car crash, almost die from cancer, almost die from being bitten by a snake and then his phone exploded. Pls, let’s think about THIS.

Do they not want to meet with you?

Have they stood you up a few times? Have they told you that you’ll meet but they always avoid this?

Chances are, if someone doesn’t want to meet with you, sometimes after like 10 years of talking, then they’re probably a catfish!! They dread having to meet you in person and you seeing that they have been lying to you the whole time.

Call them out on it- tell them you’ll even come to them if that’s the problem.

Don’t stick around for someone who constantly has excuses not to see you. You don’t want that negativity in your life.

So, here is the start of how to catch a catfish, but this will be continued next time.

Tune in next time for more ways to catch a catfish, a catfish story and how do you deal with a catfish…

Love,

To Catch a Catfish. Part 1. So, imagine this. You've been talking to a guy for a couple of months, he seems sweet, he's really cute and he actually seems like a good guy.

#article #change #education #empowerment #equality #feminism #feminist #human #humanity #life #lifestyle #love #me #personal #thoughts

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missjackil · 7 years

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One Year.... One year ago this month, I was introduced to these AMAZING gentlemen, and life has never been the same! I don’t recall the exact day it happened, but I do know it was March, 2016,

This is how it started... It was a very cold, snowy winter here in NJ last year, so my life long friend Dawn, my daughter Sarah, and I started binge watching different series on Netflix. Dawn first suggested this show Supernatural, which I had only heard of in passing a few times over the years, but she had watched since the beginning. She said I would love it, the brothers are hot, they hunt monsters and demons, delve a lot into Religion, which is a big interest of mine, I even have a degree in Theology, and am legally ordained. I checked the title on Netflix and saw it had 10 seasons available, and I said “Nah, that’s a pretty big commitment, I dont think I could stay interested in a show that long” then Dawn informed me, that it was still on the air and in season 11. Not my cup of tea, so I declined. She next suggested Nurse Jackie, which was really good, but so easy to burn through. I got the next pick and picked House MD which had been mine, and my daughter Sarah’s favorite series to date. This was a longer series than Nurse Jackie, 8 seasons instead of 7, and hour long episodes, as opposed to half hour. This took almost 2 months to get through. While watching this series again, I would keep commenting how much I loved the bromance between House and Wilson, to wish Dawn would always reply “The you will LOVE Sam and Dean!!” So since she had next pick, I agreed to give Supernatural a try. And this is what happened... *CRASH BOOM BANG <heavy flop>* “Wooooaaah easy tiger” “Dean?” Yeah, these boys are freakin adorable, and Im gonna love this bromance. I thought Dean was hot, and Sam was cute. Too young for me to think he was hot (me being 49 at the time) but I felt like the monsters and a lot of the horror was pretty lame, and sometimes even cheesy, though I did enjoy the chemistry the boys had with each other, and found Sam’s psychic visions to be an interesting element, I didn’t think I would stay interested for very long. For a while, we were only watching 2-3 episodes at a time, a couple times a week when Dawn would come over. Near the end of S1 I told her I didn’t think I wanted to continue. She asked me to PLEASE give it to the end of season 2 and if I still didnt like it, we could find something else. As promised, I did become more interested in S2. The humor was funnier, the acting got better, and the bromance was hotter, and the emotional moments were even more heart breaking. The first episode that left a really big impression on me was Born Under a Bad Sign. Until then, I knew Sam had psychic powers, and his father was worried he would turn dark, and left it on Dean’s shoulders to save him or kill him (good idea John, what the hell) and this episode was probably showing Sam go bad. I didnt want that, I liked the boys and I wanted to like both of them and not have to start thinking of Sam as evil, but he was soooooo creepy in that episode! I was so afraid he was going to rape Jo, fortunately he didn’t, but that “My daddy shot your daddy in the heeeaad” thing gave me the willies! I was so uncomfortable with this “Dark Sam” I thought maybe I couldnt continue. Dawn didnt want me to stop just yet, but didnt want to give me spoilers, she told me “Don’t worry, Sam and Dean are the GOOD guys and Sam is a REALLY good guy” so I continued. When it was discovered that Sam was possessed, I found that very interesting, I didn’t think the boys would ever succumb to the evil things, just kick their asses all the time, though I assumed theyd have their own asses kicked sometimes, I never thought the show would allow the heroes to really suffer.... boy was I wrong huh?? I recall my first noticing that Sam was hot and built like a truck, in Heart, and it was also the first time I really cried. I remember telling Dawn, I will watch it when she comes over but Im watching it on my own too, because now Im much more interested, but I also said “it’s kind of a bummer knowing the boys wont die, that will take away from the suspense and emotional moments when it’s feared they might die, and I remember her giving me this look... she said “trust me, you know nothing”. She was right ... All Hell Breaks Loose 1 & 2 had me sobbing! When Sam dies in Dean’s arms and Dean sobs into his neck, I dont think Ive ever seen such intense, realistic grief on a TV show. And then Dean goes and sells his soul for Sam!! This turned what I thought was a “My brother is my best friend” love into a “Id willingly spend eternity in fire and torment, to have one more year with my brother” love. That was a big turning point for me. I new Id watch it till the end and couldnt wait for those long days off when I could just binge all day long. Then Season 4 happened... I dont know when exactly it happened, or which episode it was, but somewhere early in S4, I discovered the most amazing thing. I woke up one day and realized I am madly in love with Sam Winchester! And to top it off, I was hopelessly addicted and obsessed with SPN! I wont give a rundown of how each season hit me, but its been a crazy, emotional, tragically painful, beautful roller coaster that I have no intentions to ever get off of. By the time I got to S9 and started seeing the episodes dwindle away, I didnt want to finish too fast, yet I wanted to keep binging, so thats when I decided to start rewatching. ration out the newer episodes so I dont finish too fast, and binge the ones Ive already seen, and Ive done that continiously since then, and that was in May. By the end of June, I had watched everything on Netflix and purchased all of S11 On Demand and just kept finishing and starting over, rinse, repeat. What I have learned... I mean no disrespect to Dean, I love him... but, if he ever says “As long as Im around, nothing bad is ever gonna happen to you” ... just RUN!! He said this to Sam in S1 and things just unraveled fast for poor Sam. I dont think there are many bad things LEFT that haven't happened to Sam, and we still have at least 2 more seasons to go!!! To me, Sam is the most beautiful, kind, selfless, brave character ever. Yet, he can be a little selfish on occasion, but if you needed any of the duct tape and safety pins that hold him together, he wouldnt think twice about giivng them to you. He is scared fairly often, but it’s never stopped him from facing any big bad monster life could hand him.Season 10 was definitely not his most attractive season (that hair?? WHAT??) and if you piss him off, he can viciously sting with his words at the very least, or be brutally lethal with his hands when need be. He is a full on nerd, but not the least bit pretentious about it. He doesnt think he is better than anyone, and maybe even not as good as most. He is brilliant, but wont ever make you feel stupid. He is the sweetest, kindest gentleman you’ll ever meet, but 100% badass as well. But most of all. he loves Dean with everything in his life. He will never leave him (again) for anyone. If he ever finds a significant other, they will have to accept him and Dean as One person. Package deal and thats it. To me, Dean is a rock. He rarely ever changes, This isn’t a bad thing. This compliments Sam, who is ever changing. Dean doesn’t live inside his head. He expresses his feelings more physically than with words, though he isnt one to mince words if you need to hear it. He’s emotional, not afraid to cry, but maybe afraid of who he allows to see it. He’s not perfect, he has made a lot of poor choices for himself and for Sam as well, but never with any ill intent (other than when influenced by a Supernatural force) He is a sweetheart, who unfortunately carries too much baggage. In Regarding Dean I feel like I met the REAL Dean that is lost under decades of pain, lossm and never ending violence. He can piss me off big time, but I forgive him because Sam does, and the most important thing in his world is Sam. There is nothing he wouldnt do, nor lines he wouldnt cross for Sam, and I believe he would give Sam anything in his power if Sam would simply ask. What I think of the side characters Cas, Crowley, Rowena, Bobby, etc.. all good characters who bring a lot of interest to the show, but none are strong enough characters to have their own storylines apart from Sam and Dean. Their side stories arent very interesting. I would watch a show that was only Sam and Dean (which is what I prefer) but I wouldnt watch a show that was only Cas or Crowley or whomever. They should support Sam and Dean and thats it, in my opinion.

What I have learned about the Fandom... Supernatural is the Holy Reaches of Heaven to them and they are Religions. Separate groups of individuals, expressing their love for the show and the characters in different ways. Some SPN religions are open and accepting, and some are vicious and hateful. Everyone gets different things from different parts of the series, but some of these religions, think their thoughts are the best and only True Canon even when sometimes, their thoughts are not canon at all. There are some fun, silly, kind loving fans in the SPN Family, and I have met a few, but Ive also seen some unnecessarily hatefull, mean spirited individuals who I cant consider family. SPN belongs to me, and it belongs to you. Take from it what you take from it... blog your blogs, go meta crazy, ship your ships, and write the shit out of fan fic... but please dont belittle and berate those who think differently. It is a ficitonal show, no one is going to go to Hell or be arrested for their views on it. If you don’t like it, dont watch it, but let those who do still love it, like myself, enjoy it while they can. Don’t go trying to hurt our feelings with “It should end!!” because someday it will, we know this, but we want it to live on for as long as J2 are happy to do it, and even then, it’s gonna hurt like the death of a loved one to see it go, so try to be more considerate okay? If you stayed to read ALL of this, You are precious to me :) and thank you!

#supernatural #1 year anniversary #many years to come

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rebeccahpedersen · 6 years

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Turn Back The Clock: Garth Turner In 2006

TorontoRealtyBlog

A reader sent me this article last week, and I found it quite interesting.

I’m not here today, with the benefit of hindsight, to provide any sort of “I told you so,” but rather to look at why real estate bears like Garth Turner, or Hilliard Macbeth, thought that the Canadian real estate market was set to crash – before it more than doubled in many places.

Cynics will point to the profits these bears have made from directing followers and listeners away from real estate, but there simply must be reasons for their predictions, right?

In this article, Mr. Turner provided several…

(This is a transcript of the March 24th, 2006 article in its entirety)

The real estate boom is over. You may or may not like that news,but it is now official. I am calling the eight-year-long housing lovefest, finito.

Done like dinner. Does that mean housing prices are going to start spiralling lower, with a rerun of the equity-busting days of the early 1990s? Should families who have concentrated most of their wealth in their homes be panicking?

Hardly. I see no storm clouds on the horizon. But neither do I see the weather conditions that would allow prices to keep on rising. And there is one overwhelming piece of news that,more than anything else, should tell everyone that real estate is an overvalued commodity ripe for correction.

This past week my friend Peter Vukanovich,who came to visit me a few days ago in my MP’s riding office, pulled the trigger. His company, Genworth Financial, has now become the first mortgage insurer to cover 35-year home loans. That goes one better than CHMC, which three weeks ago said it would insure 30- year-long mortgages. And the country’s best-known mortgage guru, whom I spent time with as well last week in the boardroom of a Toronto law firm, told me in hushed tones he is preparing for the advent of the 50-year mortgage.

What does this mean? And what’s the big difference from today’s normal 25-year mortgage amortization?

Simply, it is this: Mortgages have always been very large debts for people to pay,and in order to make them more affordable, the payments have been spread over a long period of time – usually 25 years. The effect of this is that monthly payments are brought down,but the amount you end up paying back rises. At today’s interest rates, with a 25-year am, you actually pay the lender about twice what you borrowed – almost $580,000 in payments on a $300,000 mortgage.

So, when the payment period (that’s the amortization part – based on the French verb ‘to kill’) is extended, then the same formula kicks in, namely, lower monthly payments and a greater amount actually repaid. In the case of that $300,000 mortgage and a 35-year amortization,monthly payments fall from $2,000 a month to about $1,700, but the amount you dish over rises by $135,000, to a substantial $712,000.

So, why does this show the real estate market has peaked and is about to hit the down escalator? Simply because this is the third major indicator that housing prices have passed the ability of the average family to afford them. And anytime that transpires,the writing is on the garage wall.

First we have had the unprecedented use of the 5 per cent down payment program. Genworth’s Vukanovich told me in our meeting about the tens of billions in mortgages his company has just insured for buyers in that program – in fact, this is where almost all of the mortgage growth is. Not good. Buyers putting up 5 per cent of the price of a home and mortgaging 95% are doing the same things as stock market junkies snapping up securities on margin. The only way they make money is if the asset rises in value,and quickly. So far the 5 per cent down crowd have done very well, since their extreme leveraging has paid off in a rising market. But if housing prices move in the opposite direction, their tiny little bit of equity can evaporate in a week or two, leaving them with nothing but a sea of debt. Oh yeah, and a home they “own.”

The second indication this is a market living on somebody else’s oxygen was the announcement some months ago that several of the banks would lend money to people who don’t have any — hence, the zero-down mortgage. Borrowers with good strong employment earnings, but no savings, suddenly qualified to buy houses they could not afford. Need I say more? But, actually,there is more – because boutique lenders will now give you enough money for 100 per cent of the purchase prices, plus more cash for the closing costs and a new plasma TV.

So, here we have the third indicator – amortizations which have gone from 25 years to 30, then to 35 years and quite possibly now to fifty. This is irrefutable proof that houses at these levels are unaffordable if you play by the rules that have influenced real estate supply and demand for the last three generations. And layer on top of that the effect of five recent mortgage rate increases, with the prospect of a couple more to come, and you can see what’s going down.

Over the last year, Vancouver house prices rose 26 per cent. In Calgary, 24 per cent. In Toronto, just 6 per cent. I would argue that the inevitable correction in real estate prices has already started in the GTA and will soon be spreading west. In mid-town Toronto right now, you have to spend $1.3 million to buy an 80-year-old brick house on a street full of the same houses, on a 30-foot-wide lot with no garage. And this is not an area of wealthy millionaire families, but rather working couples with public school-age kids. They may live in million-dollar homes, but they quite often also have million-dollar mortgages.

The only way they’ll make money on those houses is if they find somebody to pay even more. And behind that indebted buyer will be a generous lender. And behind that lender, a creative insurer. And you don’t want to know what’s behind him.

More on this, soon.

Again, thanks to a reader for finding this 12-year-old article and sending it my way.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention what you all already know…

The average Toronto home price in March of 2006 when this article was published was $353,134. This past May of 2018, the average was $805,320. That’s an increase of 128%.

The Canada-wide HPI Benchmark Index sat at $307,700 in March of 2006, and has risen some 108% to $637,500 this past month.

But let’s get that out of the way. I’m pretty sure Mr. Turner doesn’t care anyways.

I’m more interested in his reasons for the impending “end” to the real estate boom, and how looking back, they were so right – even though they were completely wrong.

What I mean is, he identified issues in the market that, he thought, would be troublesome.

And looking back, many of these issues were noted and acted upon by the Finance Minister and/or CMHC (making Mr. Turner right), and yet the market still continued to climb (Making Mr. Turner wrong).

Mr. Turner first noted that buying with a 5% down payment was a problem, as it would leave buyers “owning” their homes with a 95% debt-load. Perhaps he wasn’t wrong in identifying this was an issue, considering the changes that have been implemented by the CMHC since then:

1) Minimum 20% down payment over $1,000,000. 2) Minimum 20% down payment on investment and/or second properties. 3) Increased down payment requirement on mortgage amount from $500,000 – $999,999 from 5% to 10%.

The second point that Mr. Turner made was about 0% down mortgages, and even cash-back mortgages. In 2007, I had a client buy with the 107% financing plan, whereby he purchased for $1,000,000 and provided a $50,000 deposit cheque, and upon closing, was given the $50,000 back by the lender, plus another $20,000.

But these programs were long done away with, as the minimum down payment requirements above explain.

The third point that Mr. Turner made was actually two points – first about the increase in amortization periods, the second about the five consecutive hikes in mortgage rates.

Amortizations did reach 40 years, but then came back down to 25 and 30. Most buyers out there right now look for, or can only qualify for, a 25-year amortization. The 30-year product still exists, but isn’t nearly as prevalent. As for the potential “50-year amortization,” I had honestly never heard of this as a possibility until I read this 2006 article. I don’t know how close this was to ever becoming a reality.

As for the increase in mortgage rates, and prediction of subsequent rates, Mr. Turner was hypothesizing here. Or if you want to try to get into his head, based on his feelings on the market, he might have been catastrophizing. Adding potential increased rates to his other qualms would only make the fire burn brighter!

Looking back on this article twelve years later, and knowing Garth Turner’s track record, and history of disastrously-incorrect predictions about the real estate market, I’m actually going to come away giving him more credit than I previously did.

His predictions, at least, were based on ‘problems’ in both the real estate and mortgage markets, several of which were rectified.

As I said, it’s ironic (or more disastrous for his predictions) that increasing down payment regulations and shrinking amortization periods didn’t make the market turn and run the other way.

But I have to give him credit for putting this into print – even before the housing crisis in the United States began two years later.

The post Turn Back The Clock: Garth Turner In 2006 appeared first on Toronto Real Estate Property Sales & Investments | Toronto Realty Blog by David Fleming.

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howimetyourblog92-blog · 6 years

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99 Q

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? Piano Man, Spaceman, The Scientist, Bleed it Out, When You Were Young, Bohemian Rhapsody 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Idk, I’ll go with Robert Downey 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. I’m not getting up bruh 4: What do you think about most? the future 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? Skype 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? naked always 7: What’s your strangest talent? i used to play the accordion haha 8: Girls… (finish the sentence) are a real pain in the ass. ; Boys… (finish the sentence) are the greatest thing God has given us. #blessed 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? No lol 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? Never happened never will 11: Do you have any strange phobias? don’t think so 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? lol no 13: What’s your religion? catholic 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? playing sports 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? both 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Linkin Park 17: What was the last lie you told? Idk i tell a lot of lies hahaha 18: Do you believe in karma? yeah bro 19: What does your URL mean? birth year and the best tv show ever 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? overly shy at times... and maybe my sense of humor. 21: Who is your celebrity crush? Witney Carson 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? not yet 23: How do you vent your anger? destroy everything in my path and burn all my clothes obviously 24: Do you have a collection of anything? magazines 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? video chatting 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? yes 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? Wow i don’t know honestly. I hate my sister’s whiney ass voice, is that a good answer? 28: What’s your biggest “what if”? What if I stayed in NY and never moved where I am now 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? they’re all real!! 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. ... my computer? lol 31: Smell the air. What do you smell? I just made sugar cookies 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? high school 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? EAST COAST SON 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Lauren Mayberry or Rihanna 35: To you, what is the meaning of life? i dont get that deep 36: Define Art. candice swanepoel. :) 37: Do you believe in luck? i do 38: What’s the weather like right now? it’s fucking freezing and windy, winter has arrived. 39: What time is it? 10:06pm 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? i do drive, never got into an accident or gotten a ticket 41: What was the last book you read? gatsbyyy 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? no dude 43: Do you have any nicknames? Ang 44: What was the last film you saw? Watching Girls Trip at the moment 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? hurt my knee, that’s about it 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? don’t like insects 47: Do you have any obsessions right now? learning more about my best friends ballet life 48: What’s your sexual orientation? straight 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? don’t think so 50: Do you believe in magic? naw 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? i do 52: What is your astrological sign? pisces 53: Do you save money or spend it? spend it, we live once bro! 54: What’s the last thing you purchased? jericho t shirt 55: Love or lust? both 56: In a relationship? in my dreams 57: How many relationships have you had? 457 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? yes 59: Where were you yesterday? school 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? no sir 61: Are you wearing socks right now? yes i am 62: What’s your favourite animal? rhino duh 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? my impressions :) 64: Where is your best friend? she’s working at Nordstrom right now 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. idk just look at my reblogs 66: What is your heritage? fully italian 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? Masturbating. jk i have no idea 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? Smith 69: Biggest turn ons? pierced nip, coin slot belly buttons, a girls butt, love when the girl is the one to want to watch porn, playing with hair, when a girl is good at sports!! ankle bracelets 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? definitely 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? help the dog 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? I would probably tell people so they can prepare i guess. I would spend all my money, i would travel and party and drink my ass off. Sure I would be afraid, I want to live duh. 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. trust 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? anything LP 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 1106 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? someone you love being around, who makes you laugh and also who you are deeply attracted to. 77: How can I win your heart? next question 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? suree haha 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? making this tumblr for you people 80: What size shoes do you wear? 12 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Master of the Mystic Arts 82: What is your favourite word? 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. something I’m missing 84: What is a saying you say a lot? Word. 85: What’s the last song you listened to? that ed sheeran song 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? black/purple 87: What is your current desktop picture? picture of a tennis court 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? oh. don’t tempt me 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? idk man 90: Turn offs? lack of honesty, conceited girls, being on your cell all the time, playing dumb, narrow mindedness 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? teleportation 92: where are your parents from? brooklyn and staten island 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? not having a home 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? lauren mayberry 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?somewhere sunny with a beautiful beach so i can chill 96: Do you have any relatives in jail? no lol 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? nope 98: Ever been on a plane? yes sir 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? i have to pee

#me

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thesoilandtheswans · 7 years

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All

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?9 and a half feet tall so I can tower over my enemies  2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)A Dragon 3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?Flannel, sweaters and Hawaiian shirts  4: What was your favorite video game growing up?Crash Bandicoot and Animal Crossing 5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:My girlfriend, school and my friends  6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?"Very shy, approach cautiously" 7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?I'll do Catcher in the Rye. Catcher in the Rye is overrated  8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]Melancholic, apparently 9: Are you ticklish?Yes, and my girlfriend likes to exploit that 10: Are you allergic to anything?Nope, I'm like the only one in my family that is not allergic to anything 11: What’s your sexuality?Bisexual 12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?Tea and Coffee mostly 13: Are you a cat or dog person?I'm more of a cat person but dogs are also hella rad 14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?Can I be a Elven Vampire because I don't care about being a merperson 15: Do you have a favorite Youtube?The people that do Monster Factory 16: How tall are you?5'11" 17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?Ulysses Finch (idk) 18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]210 19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?Idk I'm on the fence honestly  20: Do you like space or the ocean more?I like both 21: Are you religious?Not really 22: Pet peeves?Ignorant people 23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?Nocturnal 24: Favorite constellation?Orion 25: Favorite star?Idk anything about stars 26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?What 27: Any phobias or fears?Not being remembered  28: Do you think global warming is real?Yes I do 29: Do you believe in reincarnation?Yes 30: Favorite movie?Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 31: Do you get scared easily?No 32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?Like 10, I had two cats and a dog, and various hamsters, fishes and birds 33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]Well I don't know who's asking so I can't rate your blog 34: What is a color that calms you?White, because it reminds me of nothing and just blanks my mind 35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?Traveling is a lot of places, like Ireland, New Zealand, Russia, Japan, France, Italy, the list goes on. And I'd like to live up north in the woods 36: Where were you born?Wausau, Wisconsin and that's where I still am 37: What is your eye color?Brown 38: Introvert or extrovert?Introvert  39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?Depends, sometimes they're dumb  40: Hugs or kisses?Both? Please? 41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?My girlfriend and my friends 42: Who is someone you love deeply?My girlfriend 43: Any piercings you want?Yeah, a gauge right through my dick shaft (haha no jk) 44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?I want tattoos but piercings do not work for me honestly  45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?I used to smoke in middle school and I quit in Freshman year 46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!She is amazingly cute and she makes my heart go ! when I hang out with her 47: What is a sound you really hate?Chalkboard + nails, *shudder* 48: A sound you really love?The various sounds of the woods 49: Can you do a backflip?No 50: Can you do the splits?Haha no 51: Favorite actor and/or actress?Michael Cera 52: Favorite movie?Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Also wasn't this question already asked? 53: How are you feeling right now?Alright 54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?I'm good with my natural hair  55: When did you feel happiest?I feel happiest rn, because my girlfriend just makes my life happy 56: Something that calms you down?Being in the arms of my girlfriend  57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]Not diagnosed, but I'm hella anxious a lot 58: What does your URL mean?It's a combination of two bands, The Soil and the Sun and Swans and I thought it was pretty cool too 59: What three words describe you the most?Shy, Anxious and Romantic 60: Do you believe in evolution?Yeah 61: What makes you unfollow a blog?They're a porn blog, I know the person in real life and they're a shitty person or I don't like what they post 62: What makes you follow a blog?They're my friends in real life or they blog stuff I like 63: Favorite kind of person:The kind that likes me 64: Favorite animal(s):Otters, and other animals like them 65: Name three of your favorite blogs.@star-qirl@dead-relatives@eternalgirlscout 66: Favorite emoticon:🍆 67: Favorite meme:Joe Biden memes  68: What is your MBTI personality type?INFP 69: What is your star sign?Cancer, I think, I don't know if this is different than my zodiac tbh 70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?Not for me he can't because he hates me and he's a little shit 71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?Anything with my button up sweater 72: Post a selfie or two?Just look at my profile pic I don't have any more selfies for you 73: Do you have platform shoes?I don't remember what those are, so Idk 74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?I got a bee stuck in my eye once 75: Can you do a front flip?No 76: Do you like birds?Sure, for the most part  77: Do you like to swim?Yeah, I used to swim a lot but I don't as much anymore because I'm insecure about my body, so when I do swim it's with a shirt on 78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?I can't ice skate, so swimming 79: Something you wish didn’t exist:The Republican Party 80: Some thing you wish did exist:Space travel so I can travel the galaxy  81: Piercings you have?I have no piercings  82: Something you really enjoy doing:Hanging with my friends/ girlfriend 83: Favorite person to talk to:My girlfriend/ my friends 84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?"I don't know what I'm supposed to do" 85: How many followers do you have?Like 27  86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?No I'm out of shape and I'm lazy 87: Do your socks always match?Like 95% of the time yeah 88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?No 89: What are your birthstones?Ruby 90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?A cat because they basically sleep all day and get pet by people so yeah 91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?A blue rose (idk about flowers) 92: A store you hate?Uh American Apparel I guess idk 93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?I think I've drank like 3 in one day 94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?Read minds 95: Do you like to wear camo?No ew 96: Winter or summer?Winter 97: How long can you hold your breath for?Like a minute 98: Least favorite person?This one gal, and she knows who she is. Sad thing is she didn't use to be my least favorite person, she actually was one of my favorite people but she just became shitty 99: Someone you look up to:Justin Vernon and Kurt Vonnegut, because they're what I want to be as a writer 100: A store you love?Barnes and Noble. I've spent hours there and have it feel like it went really quick 101: Favorite type of shoesVans I suppose I don't know much about shoes 102: Where do you live?Wausau, Wisconsin 103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?I am not 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?A ruby I guess 105: Do you drink milk?Yes 106: Do you like bugs?Eh I can stand them 107: Do you like spiders?Spiders are creepy  108: Something you get paranoid about?School 109: Can you draw:Not well 110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?"How big is your penis?" 111: A question you hate being asked?Sexual stuff about my girlfriend because it's none of your business, unless I choose to tell you 112: Ever been bitten by a spider?No 113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?Yeah it's pretty nice. I don't go to the beach that often though, I live in Wisconsin lol 114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?Cloudy, I am a pale boy, the sun burns my skin 115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:I'd like to kiss AND cuddle my girlfriend  116: Favorite cloud type:The ones that look like other things  117: What color do you wish the sky was?Lavender 118: Do you have freckles?No 119: Favorite thing about a person:Nice ass 120: Fruits or vegetables?Fruits 121: Something you want to do right now:Anything but watch my dad be super loud at the packer game tbh 122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?The sky 123: Sweet or sour foods?Both 124: Bright or dim lights?Dim 125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?Not particularly no 126: Something you hate about Tumblr:Porn blogs 127: Something you love about Tumblr:Artsy and poetic blogs because they introduce me to new stuff 128: What do you think about the least?I don't know, I don't think about it? 129: What would you want written on your tombstone?"He tried" 130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?I don't want to punch anyone in the face, I'm not a violent person 131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?My personality 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?Only with trial and tribulations from my mother 133: Computer or TVComputer  134: Do you like roller coasters?Heck yeah 135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?No 136: Are your ears lobed or attached?Lobed 137: Do you believe in karma?Sometimes  138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?A light 5 139: What nicknames do you have/have had?Bungle, Bongo Jim, Bean, Banjo, lots of stuff with Bs 140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?No, I don't think so 141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?Yeah but it didn't last long, because I don't talk to people I don't know well 142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?Good, for the most part 143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?Receiving honestly, I'm greedy  144: What makes you angryIdk not a lot 145: How many languages do you speak fluently?One 146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?Boys and Girls 147: Are you androgynous?No 148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:My ass TBH , or my eyebrows 149: Favorite thing about your personality:I'm nerdy 150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.My girlfriend, anyone of my 8 friends 151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?The 20s most likely, I also would go back to the 60s or 80s 152: Do you like BuzzFeed?I can take it or leave it 153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]Through the school play 154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?No, it's usually romantic 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?Sometimes  156: What embarrasses you?A lot 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:School  158: Biggest lie you have ever told:Telling my parents I was somewhere else because they wouldn't like where I really was 159: How many people are you following?Like 200 160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?A lot 161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?None 162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?8,000 163: Last time you cried and why:When this girl told me we weren't really dating. It just fucked with me because I liked her a lot 164: Do you have long or short hair?Long ish 165: Longest your hair has ever been:Idk not that long 166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?I'm neutral because I don't like to worship a god that may or may not exist, so I'm just not gonna do that rn 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?Yeah a little because I want to know why we're here  168: Do you like to wear makeup?I don't usually do that  169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?No 170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?For the most part some of them I didn't because I was trying to be funny

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