#(Eventually)

[too-antigonish]

How to Seduce Endeavour Morse: A Guide for the Perplexed

The ways are many and varied. Your chances of success are—unfortunately—highly dependent on factors outside of your control. You can, however, learn lessons from those who have tread this path before you.

1) The "I-Forgot-to-Tell-You-I’m-a-Killer" Approach

Comments: Used with surprising frequency given ultimately low success rate.

Rosalind Calloway (S1E0 Pilot): First, become a world-famous opera singer. Your artistry will convince him that life is worth living. When the time comes, gently but firmly rebuff his rather innocent advances. Be unmasked as murderess and crush his will to live via the revelation of your utter lack of humanity and subsequent suicide.

Susan Fallon (S1E0 Pilot): Be at Oxford. Have snobby parents and lots of snobby friends. Be his first great love and agree to marry him. Then abandon him very publicly and with maximum cruelty for your first great love. Many years later become murderess (although Lewis will never allow him to find that out). However, still successfully crush him to pieces again by committing suicide.

Isla Fairford (S6E3 Confection): Live in a charming small village with adorable son and amiable veterinarian father. Have an appealing origin story involving cruel abandonment that reminds him of his own life experiences.  Go on intimate date where you seem to be everything he could hope for and then share a sweet but chaste kiss goodnight. Oops, murder someone…again…sort of. Suddenly transform into personification of vengeance.

2) The "It-Never-Hurts-to-Ask" Approach

Comments: Success rate zero, but very high entertainment value.

Pamela Walters (S1E1 Girl): Like it says on the tin: Just ask. She asks, “Will you take me to bed?” Sorry sweet girl. He won’t—but he will read you a very nice bedtime story

Kay Belborough (S3E1 Ride): Play flirty name games and ask him breathlessly if he’s falling in love with you. Share a romantic kiss under fairy lights at a party.  Eventually tell him he can “have you.”  He won’t—but by then he will have saved you from a suicide attempt so I think he’s done enough really…

Annette Richardson (S3E2 Arcadia): Request help with home security. Tell him you can’t possibly undress yourself. He won’t bite—but he will come maddeningly close to nibbling on your neck and you’ll refuse to believe that he won’t come calling, ”…when he’s ready.”

Bettina Pettybon (S4E2 Canticle): Just show up at his flat looking generally bedraggled. Tell him how your mother forced you to spill the beans and get him kicked off the case. Down some hard liquor. And then—tell him you love him. When he’s gobsmacked by your revelation, assume it’s because there’s “someone else” and not because he barely knows you.

3) The "Let’s-Just-Go-to-Bed" Approach

Comments: Has an impresseive 100% success rate but never ends well.

Alice Vexin (S1E3 Rocket): Secretly crush on him for years. Go on one quasi-date where you dissect his personality quirks in excruciating detail. Show up at his door when he’s emotionally vulnerable and then sleep with him. Promptly abandon him with maximum cruelty. Be sure to tell him, “It’s not me. It’s you,” in the form of, “You’re just not ready yet.”

Carol Thursday (S5E2 Cartouche): Be very attractive. Be suddenly, unexpectedly available. Be directly in his path. This means you can skip the date part (a drink will do). Go straight to sleeping with him. Then go straight to the realization that this might be…one of the most awkward situations you’ve ever gotten yourself into. Manage to handle it all with amazing sweetness and grace nonetheless.

Claudine (S5E3 Passenger): Be very attractive. Be suddenly, unexpectedly available. Be directly in his path. Bonus points if the woman he actually wants practically throws you into his arms. Go straight to sleeping with him. Tease him. Toy with him like a capricious child. Play games for your own amusement. Abandon him with maximum cruelty. 

4) One-Off Approaches

Comments: Technically not actual attempts at seduction so...

School Girls (S2E2 Nocturne): Talk about how dreamy he is like we do on Tumblr. Given enough time, write “Love you” in eye liner on your eyelids as per: Indiana Jones movie. Blink very slowly during all interrogations.

Anna-Britt Clark (S4E2 Canticle): Be very attractive. Despise tan lines. Work on said tan next to swimming pool at rock-band-murder-mansion. Show him your (tan line free) naked torso. Find his very “English” discomfort perplexing but charming.

Eve Thorne (S5E1 Muse): You don’t actually *want* to seduce him. He’s a cop *and* a condescending prick. However, the seduction will happen anyway. You won’t sleep together. You won’t even touch. But the hate-flirting will be amazing.

5) The "Let's-Try-a-Normal-Relationship-Just-Once" Approach

Comments: She was too psychologically healthy for you. In the end it was for the best (...except for the murder and prison parts).

Monica Hicks (S2E3 Sway): Find yourself recruited for some light caregiving. Be absolutely charming. After tactless date mix-up and adorable mattress incident at department store, proceed to have actual healthy relationship. Hang out listening to music, discuss your future together, buy him a cute scarf. Then wake up one morning to find out he’s in prison—and about that scarf…

6) The "This-Doesn't-Happen-in-Real-Life" Approach

Comments: It was opera—and by opera rules he actually got off pretty easy.

Violetta Talenti** (S7E1: Oracle): Engineer improbable but spectacular first encounter—twice. Finagle one in Venice and one in Oxford. Overcome all of his valid moral objections and engage in a lengthy, passionate affair. When the moment of truth arrives, reject him with maximum possible cruelty. Die in his arms. Use your last words to ensure that he spends the rest of his life feeling conflicted and confused about the true nature of your feelings towards him.

**Also might fall into "I-Forgot-to-Tell-You-I’m-a-Killer" but we will never know for sure

7) The "We-Aren't-Explicitly-Saying-It-But-You-Know" Approach

Comments: Don't try this at home kids. It will end badly for you. Highly effective, however, when Morse and Thursday need to make up and be friends again.

Joss Bixby (S3E1 Ride): Be the UK Great Gatsby. Invite him to your over-the-top parties. Gracefully take it in stride and allow him to appear extra-clever when he points out that your latest art purchase is a forgery. Manage to be charming and self-deprecating while flirting outrageously with him. Offer him jobs. Give him cars. Have lots of emotionally charged moments (especially on dark docks) and say incredibly poetic things. Die tragically so he can mourn you forever but also use your passing as an excuse to reconnect with his former mentor.

Ludo Talenti (S7E1 Oracle): Be evil. Come up with an evil plan. Get your wife to seduce him. Then (ha, ha) you will also seduce him. You will both succeed beyond your wildest dreams. He will be the most thoroughly seduced man ever. However, once you have rejected him with maximum possible cruelty by pretending you actually care that he was sleeping with your wife, he will discover your secret life of crime and come after you. You will die (justifiably, not tragically), after killing your wife and your death will providing yet another opportunity for our hero to reconnect with his estranged mentor.

8) The "Be-the-One-That-Got-Away" Approach

Comments: Definitely the method of choice for Morse seduction. 100% effective. Hands-down winner!

Joan Thursday (S1E2 Fugue): Be very attractive, articulate, and idealistic. Be the daughter of his mentor/best friend/father figure/brother-in-arms. Have lots of incredibly charged emotional encounters but never say anything directly to him about your complicated feelings. Be together during highly significant moments in your lives, but don’t ever go on a real date (pedestrian!). Touch in a variety of meaningful and sometimes even affectionate ways, but never engage in anything blatent. A passionate kiss would be unthinkable. And never, ever sleep together! Still manage to abandon him with maximum cruelty. Still manage to be the love of his life. Well done you!

#itv endeavour #endeavour morse #shaun evans #half naked wednesday #aka the wednesday special #hnw #but with no actual nakedness #but with ways to possibly get him naked #eventually #i probably missed someone but oh well

[cybertron-smash-or-pass]

BONUS!!!

#actually very interested to see where this goes #if its a perfect three way tie ill post blitzwing smut on my main tf blog #eventually #maccadam #poll #transformers #blitzwing #tfa

[mo-mode]

The Biblically Accurate Trio in TLT

#it’s not that they don’t have the other two it’s that they all had their smarts privileges revoked #Annabeth lost her street smarts and common sense privileges when she tried to buy all that candy with only $200 #Percy lost his common sense and book smarts privileges when he couldn’t figure out he was a son of Poseidon after using literal water powers #grover lost his book smarts and street smarts privileges after trying to reason with Medusa and a cop respectively #they’re all my children tho #don’t worry they’ll get their privileges back #eventually #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo tv show #percy jackson tv show #pjo spoilers #percy jackson the lightning thief #pjo series #annabeth chase #grover underwood

[turtleofthehollow]

I need someone to write fanfiction of Lucifer and Alastor making a deal, but Luci botches the wording of the deal so bad that they end up married instead, and neither of them know how to break the deal, so they're just stuck like this until further notice

You can't tell me it wouldn't be in character for him!

UPDATE: It has been written! Check out the reblogs for the link!

#bonus points if it still doesn't really lead to a romance #they just learn to tolerate each other and form a somewhat functioning relationship #I may just write this myself #eventually #...maybe #radioapple #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer #alastor and lucifer #alastor #alastor the radio demon #the radio demon #lucifer morningstar #lucifer #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel fanfic ideas

[deep-space-lines]

P A I N T T H E W O R L D R E D

sketch im not sure if i’ll finish. im unwell about this game

#my art #sketches #ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #v1 #artists on tumblr #tw blood #brace urself. there’s vaguely homoerotic art of an angel and robot trying to kill each other coming up #eventually

[draconic-ichor]

He tries his best..,

#he gets better #eventually #fnaf sun #sundrop #sun x oc #oc art #meme redraw #fnaf shitpost #my art

[bet-on-me-13]

Cass has a Nemesis

So! Cass has a Nemesis.

An Enemy that has taken all her skill and grace to defeat in the past, undefeatable by any of her peers, someone only she can defeat-

-In Ballet.

Cass has a Nemesis, named Danny Fenton. He is in a rival Ballet School, and she has only barely managed to defeat him in the past. She is awed at times by his grace and skill at the art, it is almost as if he can defy gravity itself, while looking entirely natural.

He is as good as her, and she has literally been trained as an Assasin since she was born.

In every Ballet Competition she has been in, it always comes down to the two of them. And she will not waver for even a second.

Aka

Danny and Cass are in rival Ballet school and are the aces of both teams. Danny is so good because he has the natural balancing instincts of a Ghost, and can apply that very easily to Ballet.

Eventually Danny/Cass cause that's my favorite Dpxdc ship

#Dpxdc #Dp x dc #Dcxdp #Dc x dp #Danny Phantom #Dc #Dcu #Cass has a Nemesis #In Ballet #Danny is in Ballet #Danny and Cass are rivals #Danny/Cass #Eventually

[onenicebugperday]

Largeclasper cicada, Carineta diardi, Cicadidae

Found in Brazil and Paraguay. Photos 1-7 show normal coloration while 8-10 show coloration immediately after emerging.

Photo 1 by deniszabin, 2 by ricardomoyano, 3-4 by carlosalexandreraposo, 5 by rodrigo_m_ferronato, 6 by carlossch, 7 by joaopaulorosa, 8-9 by gabyfachinelli, and 10 by cbernz

#animals #curators on tumblr #insects #bugs #true bugs #cicada #largeclasper cicada #Carineta diardi #one nice bug #freshly peeled angel #injured bug #tagging for the first photo #as someone pointed out i think the abdomen is gone..? #rip #eventually

[thepeacefulgarden]

#self compassion #mental health #healing #trauma #recovery #grief #you will be okay #you will get through this #eventually #the only way out is through #self care #self love #self respect #you are enough #you are worthy #you deserve happiness

[thevoidstaredback]

Every man has his breaking point. Danny's is just a bit higher than everyone else's because he's a king and has a high tolerance for absolute bull shit. No matter how strong that bar is, though, one can only bend so far before snapping.

Unfortunately for everyone around him, Danny has reached his breaking point.

"I wish I could get drunk," he stared into his drink longingly, "Or high. But mostly drunk."

"Why do ya say that?" Billy asked, tilting his head curiously to the left.

Danny sighed, "It's a long story."

"I've got time." he shrugged.

"Are ya sure?" Danny raised an eyebrow. "You don't think any emergencies are gonna crop up? Nothing you'll need to go take care of?"

Billy backed off a little, folding into his seat. "What're you talking about? I'm just some kid on the street. I ain't going anywhere."

Danny rolled his head from side to side. "Mostly, I'm talking about the JL meeting the both of us are gonna skip out on tonight."

"What-?"

"C'mon, Captain, it won't do to talk here," he stood, picking up his coffee and waiting for Billy to do the same.

Billy's eyes narrowed as he looked Danny up and down. "I don't recognise you," he whispered, "Who are you."

Danny produced another calling card from his sleeve as he sipped his drink, holding it in front of himself but not handing it over. When Billy was looking at it, he flipped it over. The white background turned matte black, all the runes in the Ouroboros turning so white that they glowed. The DP in the very middle tinted blue, pulsing with toxic green energy, slightly cold to the touch. The edges started to frost over.

Quickly, Billy pulled the card Danny had given him before from the inner pocket of his jacket. It, too, had changed to match the one Danny held, though there was no longer a DP in the middle. Instead, it said 'Phantom' in fancy calligraphy.

"No way," the kid muttered, his expression awestruck, "Phantom? That's you? No shit?"

Danny chuckled, tucking the card away again, "No shit, kid. Don't tell anyone, though. You're the only one who knows."

"Really?" he squeaked.

"Really."

***

Having someone know his whole story was refreshing, just as he's sure Billy felt good to have someone know his, too. That didn't stop him from feeling bad about dumping it all on the poor kid.

"I still wish I could get drunk," Phantom lamented."

Constantine looked up from the book he was reading. "You can't get drunk?"

"Nope."

"How'd ya figure that one out, kid?"

"Please don't call me a kid."

That's not good. The blond marked the page before setting the book to the side. Phantom had never actually asked him to stop calling him a kid. "What's wrong?" He didn't normally do the whole 'feelings' things, but the was an exception.

Phantom sighed long and sad. He didn't look up from the carpet. "I told you they were going to ask invasive questions."

"Who was it?" It was more of a demand then a question.

"Red Robin,"

"Red- I thought you would've skipped town when we were done there? I sure as hell did."

"I know you did, but I decided to stick around for a bit. Wander, y'know? Red Robin caught up to me and would leave me alone."

Oh, oh no. Those were tears. Were they? Yeah, shit, they are! John is not equipped to handle this!

Phantom sniffled. "He asked me how I died."

Fuck.

John Constantine is not easy to anger. Sure, he gets tired, and irritated, and a whole slew of emotions, but he is very slow to anger.

Phantom, he knows, is not a child. The ghost can very much take care of himself in basically every way one could think of. He saved the world on his own, several times, when he was fourteen. He became a King and Protector when he was fourteen. He died when he was fourteen.

Right now, all he could see was the child who hadn't ever been properly laid to rest. It was hard not to call Phantom a child when he seemed so small, seeking comfort from anyone. Phantom was crying. He'd retreated to the House and locked himself in Constantine's room, only talking when he was ready to, but he'd waited to cry.

Phantom didn't like crying. Every person in the JLD knew this.

No. John Constantine is not quick to anger, but he is scary when he reaches that point. Batman might be the night and vengeance and all that shit, but John Constantine was wrathful.

He sat beside Phantom and let the ghost lean into him and cry. He didn't like dealing with feelings, but this was a child in need of comfort and he was the only one around to offer it. "Do you really want me to stop calling you 'kid'?"

A sniffle and a small head shake. "No."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"...sure."

"How old are you really? As a ghost, not as a human or a halfa. How old are you?"

"Fourteen." he mumbled, "I'll never be any older than fourteen, John," he was getting a bit hysterical now, "I'll never be any older than fourteen! I-I died and-and now I have to rule and-and people keep asking and no one believes me and-!" A sob cut him off, heavy with grief and wet with tears. He cried for hours, giving up on trying to form words. Constantine let him, ignoring the wet patches on his shirt. Eventually, Phantom's sobs died down into hiccups. "I didn't...I'm- I'm sorry."

"It's alright, mate," he meant it, really and truly.

Phantom rubbed his eyes, "I'm gonna go hide somewhere."

"Not gonna share where?"

"No, I want to be alone for a while." He paused at the door, "Whatever you're gonna do, will you leave Captain Marvel out of it?"

Odd request, but, "Alright," he nodded, "I'll talk to the others." And by 'talk', he means lecture. There are boundaries that one shouldn't cross, and not asking the dead how they died should've been obvious! With his League issued communicator, John called an emergency meeting in one hour, required attendance, barring Captain Marvel. First things first, though, he needed to talk to Deadman.

Part 7 Storyboard

Tag List:

@zaiothe4th @someonebored0100 @wolfeyedwitch @angelheartgamer @nymanders @princessbelix @luminanightfall @kgne-k @bianca-hooks123 @reigning-catsanddogs @sassywombatranchhorse @dontfightmecauseillcry @soul-lime @anarinette @serasvictoria02 @the-chaos-goblin-child @confusedshades @caicie @fantasticstoryteller @randomshtickidk @itsberrydreemurstuff @blueliac @i-love-mangoes @nymanders @highimpactemotions @anarinette @sleepingdead96 @orbr @tkiesai @atomicsheepscientist @8000fangirl @shower-phantom-ideas @blep-23 @aki-bara @chasing-liberosis @weirwulf20 @mynewhyperfixation

#part 8 #Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant #dp dc crossover #dc x dp #dp x dc #I might make a lot of enemies with this part #y'all actually might be out for blood after this #i'm sorry #not really #but i'm sorry #final part #you'll be able to find the rest on ao3 #eventually #please don't be mad #<2 #danny phantom #billy batson #john constantine #a bit rushed #but no one needs to know #shh

[dollya-robinprotector]

-For the paradise in our dream-

#honkai star rail #hsr fanart #hsr #honkai star rail fanart #hsr robin #honkai star rail robin #hsr sunday #honkai star rail sunday #penacony #dollya art #sunday hsr #robin hsr #non dol posting #Eventually I will be fine again because that's how things always go and I'm nothing but a little droplet in this sea of melancholy #Eventually #because everything goes on

[neo-my-geo]

They have such a way with words

#this was meant to accompany an actual piece but I got 3 hours of sleep last night so I'm out of steam lol #I'll probably post it #eventually #neo's funny art tag #tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 fanart #artists on tumblr #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #sniperspy #bloody suit

[etoilesdeglace]

Vox Machina Class Features in Season 2 of TLOVM (Season 1)

#tlovm #critical role #tlovm spoilers #c1 spoilers #tlovm s2 #the legend of vox machina #critteredit #dungeons and dragons #dungeons & dragons #dnd #d&d #criticalroleedit #tlovmedit #*my gifs #*my critical role gifs #in making this i found even more from the two seasons so there will be a part three lmao #eventually

[bougiebutchbinch]

woke up semi-convinced that there was an actual House episode where, as a B-plot, House got a sex toy stuck up his butt and was trying to get it out without anyone noticing

honestly a little disappointed to come back to reality

#house md #greg house #gregory house #hatecrimes md #james wilson #hilson #because obviously wilson helped him :3c #eventually #after revealing he knew all along what House had been suffering with and was just pretending not to #in order to make him squirm and ask for help #y'know #just boyfriend things xxx

[copypastus]

Day 1 of @tamlinweek - Heir of Spring

I already did a family portrait for the Vanserras and was itching to draw another one. So here's a tamily picture of Spring featuring baby Tamlin.

#my art #acotar #acotar fanart #tamlin #tamlin's unnamed family #spring court #tamlinweek2024 #rip the tamily #rhysand may convenietly forget he already got his revenge for the family murder by killing them #but i remember #these are so fun to do #i'll make one for rhys too at some point #eventually #they do take forever #need to recharge first

[wooziswonderfulworld]

Let Floyd and Branch say “shut the fuck up” 🙏

#trolls band together #john dory #trolls spruce #trolls clay #trolls floyd #trolls branch #they get to him #eventually #brozone headcanons