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#*cries bc i have so much coffee in me now*

wigglebox · 1 year

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this is another reason why i don’t think Jack is Jack TM and that i am still on my Chuck Won bullshit

This lovely gifset.

another major part of the Chuck Won theory for me is that Cas specifically was used as a barometer of truth in season 15.

Because he’s the only one who can really exist outside of the narrative, and virtually untouchable in that case, when he was around it was easier to discern the truth about things and served as what was “Real.” Remember the line from 15x02 in that room where he’s trying to talk Dean out of that existential crisis he’s having, about what’s real, and that they are.

In one of those ‘real’ instances, is when Cas can tell that Jack is Jack.

There were three times in season 15 where Cas was needed to confirm if Jack was Jack.

15x01, he confirmed it was not Jack but in fact a Demon possessing Jack’s body.

15x11, he confirmed it was Jack after he came back from The Empty.

15x19.... he wasn’t there to determine that Jack was still Jack after he absorbed Chuck’s powers.

And I found that significant.

In my head there is a conspiracy that Chuck and The Empty were working together at this. And part of that is this game of chess that Chuck set up where he wipes out the pieces on the board that pose a threat to him:

Dean, Sam, Billie, Jack, Amara, and Cas.

Have The Empty make a deal with Billie, a fake deal, to get Jack ready to contain Chuck when in actuality it was to make it so Jack could become a vessel for Chuck bc he’s the only one who could do that.

Billie and Dean already had an antagonistic relationship so it wouldn’t take much poking and prodding to get Billie to go after Dean in her attempt to stablize things, losing herself a little bit in the process.

By having her go after Dean, Chuck can trigger Cas’ deal with The Empty.

And if Cas is off the board, then so is the ONLY litmus test to truly know if Jack is Jack or not.

And so by also not having Cas in 1x13 of The Winchesters, you can’t tell if that Jack is really OUR Jack or if it’s... Chuck.

And given the reference to that Kansas song, and these looks, idk — feels like it really isn’t OUR Jack and is in fact a continuation of ‘Is Chuck possessing Jack?’

#spnwin thots #spnwin spoilers #spnwin spec #continuation spec #spn spec #*cries bc i have so much coffee in me now*

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lueurjun · 10 months

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shy soobin as your boyfriend

shy bf! soobin x reader — loving soobin hours rn majorly<3 in which soobin is completely and utterly enchanted and captivated by you, enamored with all that you are.

oh you lucky lucky gorgeous specimen

he is fr the perfect man but ur just as perfect so you know what? MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN

the way you met is pretty standard

you worked at the barista he liked to visit frequently

he visited the coffee shop twice a day just to see you

and you had no idea that he thought u were a lil cutie patootie so you were a little concerned by his caffeine intake

he would stay and have like 3 cups each visit just so he could see you for as long as possible

most of the time he would be trying to work up the courage to say something other than his order but he couldn’t get the confidence

and despite you being concerned for his health, you lowkey HIGHKEY got excited everytime he came in because he was just so???

perfect

like you’re sure you heard wedding bells the first time you saw him

it’s okay babe so did the rest of us

we’re all a little delulu for soobin

anyways one day you’ve had enough

running off like two hours of sleep, the delirium kicks in and you have a massive burst of confidence

so you write your phone number on the cup for his final order which is to go

and soobin doesn’t notice until he gets home and taehyun spots the number on the side

“who in their right mind decided to give you their phone number? are they okay? why would they want you?”

soobin’s kinda like ??

because first of all RUDE of taehyun to attack him like that unprovoked

and second of all WHY IS THERE A PHONE NUMBER ON HIS CUP

from what he saw, you were the only one on shift making his drinks so??

it had to be from you

omg. the poor boy nearly goes into cardiac arrest

because wtf does he do now? he can’t just text you

what if it’s an accident?

there’s no way he can embarrass himself like that

so he decides to leave it despite the agonising ache to do anything but that

once he’s out of the room taehyun’s little shit mode is activated

soobin may not have the confidence to text you

but he sure does

‘hi. is this the girl from the coffee shop?”

honestly your heart shits itself

because you totally were not expecting him to text you back

‘yeah. sorry if this is weird and unprofessional. you can totally get me fired- i mean-i’d like prefer you to not but you totally can… i’m not a creep though… i promise’

you totally nailed that babes

definitely didn’t come across as a creep

already taehyun ships it and decides he has to play matchmaker because he already knows you’re perfect for soobin

so he sets the two of you up on a date

soobin damn near cries when he finds out an hour in advance

“a date? what? i don’t know how to do that”

poor boy is STRESSED

but much to his surprise, he doesn’t totally mess things up

the date actually goes smoothly and he leaves you with a kiss on the cheek after setting up a second date

you both squeal when you part ways

you’re both so cute pls get married

lemme be your maid of honour

ONTO THE RELATIONSHIP BC THIS IS ALREADY LONG IM VERY SORRY

boyfriend soobin is straight out of a book istg

he’s so awkward but in the best way??

like he’s not afraid to show you affection and tackle you with love

but the second you do something as simple as kiss his cheek

BLUSHING STUTTERING MESS

you have him wrapped around your pinky finger

honestly you could probably tell him to jump into a river and he most likely would without any questions

follows behind you like a lost puppy despite towering over everything

holding onto the tips of your fingers letting you drag him along

fancy dinners happen but the two of you are more order in and play mario kart

he’d probably let you win the first few times but the second you gloat about it

nah he’s playing like there’s 100k on the line

BACK HUGS BACK HUGS BACK HUGS

BACK MF HUGS

he loves snuggling into your neck and inhaling your scent. it calms him down for sure

you do this thing where you gently slide your hands up the back of his shirt

AND HE GIGGLES EVERYTIME

silently sharing his food and drink with you

he just holds the straw or food to your mouth without saying anything

whenever he buys you flowers, he takes one out and keeps it for himself so he knows when it’s time to replace them

you also love buying him flowers

he gently didn’t know what to do with himself the first time you did it

“these are for me? no way- you didn’t-babyyy”

can you hear my cries?

sliding down the wall rn

his instagram is pretty much a y/n fan page

like genuinely his feed is just you

visits you during work and spends half of the time flirting with you and the other half stuttering over his sentences because you threw a compliment at him

also your concerns for his health lessened once you realized he only drank that much caffeine just because he wanted to see you

if anyone tries to flirt with him, he’ll incorporate you into the conversation

the other person will just be stood there whilst he rants about all of the things he loves about you

it’s a reflex. he just loves you sm

taehyun can’t tell whether he’s happy for you both or genuinely disgusted

“the happiness i caused for you both makes me severely sickened.”

cue beomgyu popping up like “ALSO WRITING YOUR NUMBER ON HIS COFFEE ORDER? REALLY Y/N? THATS SO LAME”

they’re super happy for you both tho they just won’t admit it

you and soobin are in your own little love bubble

two hopelessly in love puppies who are destined to be together

absolutely adorable.

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thebearer · 9 months

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just thinking about carmy x shy reader who used to have the biggest crush on him when they went to school!! and carmy thought she liked mikey !

oh my god i can totally see him and now i can only think of two ghosts by harry styles ahhhh. little fluff blurb ahead for the soul <3

they go to prom together, their senior year just as friends. carmy bc donna is making him, and you... bc carmy asked you out lol. mikey set the whole thing up, he knew how much you likes carm. you were always coming over and following carmen around like a lost puppy. mikey felt bad for you, sorta, felt bad that you were so hopelessly in love with his oblivious younger brother.

carmen moved to new york and you stayed in chicago, only to reconnect years later at none other than mikey's funeral. carmen looked bad, sad and distant, but there was a glimmer of his old self when he talked to you. familiar. good.

it was a challenge, pushing yourself into the life of carmen berzatto again. two old friends catching up over coffee, first. then going to a ghost tour, because mikey used to swear it was the most entertaining shit (swore he'd see uncle jimmy on there eventually too lol). you'd help him at the beef when he'd call, helplessly needing assistance fixing some odd appliance. he'd make you greasy italian sandwiches and you'd spilt them sitting at the sticky booths, reminiscing.

it wasn't until weeks later, when things started to take a turn for the best. when carmen realized that "oh shit she's like into me into me???" he'd kissed you that night, in your apartment living room. it was rushed and a little sloppy. he'd blushed so hard after that, stammering and nervous in the low light of the room. you'd only grinned, pulling him back in.

"i- fuck- i didn't want to-to come across like that. i just... i'm sorry. i don't know why i... it felt- i don't know, i'm sorry." carmen is a stuttering mess, feeling his heart rate rise and like he might throw up at any given second.

"why are you sorry? i liked it, carmy, c'mon." you just give him a sideways, lopsided grin.

"what? are you- are you fuckin' with me right now? don't... you liked it?"

"of course i liked it. sophomore me is shitting herself right now."

"in a good way?"

you laugh, nodding. "in a very good way. c'mon, bear, don't fuck with me right now." you glare at him playfully. "you don't have to act like you didn't know i was in love with you."

"what?" carmen's eyes bulging tells you otherwise. "you-you... no, you didn't like me. you liked mikey."

"mikey?" you repeat. "carmen... i liked mikey because, i mean he was mikey, everyone liked mikey. but i had a crush on you."

carmen wasn't sure what to say, heart pounding hard in his throat, strangling the words. "really?"

you nodded, grinning gently. "i mean, you were too obsessed with claire bear to notice-"

"-oh, c'mon. don't do that." carmen cringed shaking his head.

"you did!" you laughed, jabbing his chest lightly. "you'd always talk to her in math and sketch all those pictures." you tried not to sound as hurt as your fifteen year old self had been. how you'd cried into your pillow when you found them. how you tried to make yourself look just like claire, act like her too so maybe carmen might notice you.

carmen blushed, looking down at his shoes. "well, i, uh... if it makes you feel any better. i-i was drawin' you too, ya know." he couldn't look at you, blushing positively boyishly at the admission.

it was silly. so silly and so sweet and it shouldn't have made you feel the way you did, but it did. you kissed him, two hands on the side of his cheeks, tumbling back on the sofa with him. a long, overdue kiss.

the next day, carmen asked you to come by the beef, telling you there was something that got dropped off for you while trying to figure out bills.

you opened the envelope to find a faded, crumpled piece of notebook paper, the light etchings of you on it with the algebra homework from mr. weir's junior year class.

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c1oud999 · 4 months

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i just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience with spirituality. warning: longggg post ahead.

basically ive been in the spiritual community for YEARS now. ive had existential crisis since the age of 11 and ive gone through many phases of many different spiritual trends. from law of attraction, to witchcraft, to religious devotion, to law of assumption and now finally non dualism. i read books, meditated for hours and hours, talked to spiritual ppl from all walks of life and watched all the episodes of ganga upanishad (a show i still highly recommend, you can watch on youtube). all this childhood trauma and mental illness made me crave for sweet relief. but nothing really made sense until law of assumption. i thought that that would be it yk. i thought i was done searching but i think that was when i was searching for things the most. i do know i have it in my 4d, when will i see it? i thought i would get all my desires but did not meet success. and then the non dualism trend began and i hopped onto it like pretty much everyone else. i was bewildered at the stuff teachers kept saying. what do you mean everything's an illusion? there's no way that's true. my very real surroundings are causing me VERY real pain and suffering. oh no no there must be a deeper meaning behind all this. and so i read all the books in 4dbarbies drive, but nothing clicked. yes it made sense intellectually, but i didnt want to believe it bc where is the materialisation satisfaction here? also i felt none of the euphoria that was supposed to come with self realisation. which means i must not be a realised being. and then i cried and cried and cried, isolated myself, literally stopped going to school and just lay in bed all day. but ofc, i continued to read the tumblr posts like i had been doing for the past several years. and yesterday i read 4dkelly's post about giving up. it made sense. by the time i had finished reading the post i had truly given up on everything. on wanting, hoping, fearing, striving etc etc. i was SO tired. so i gave up. fell asleep. i woke up really late as usual and missed the school bus. i ate breakfast in silence, switched the tv on and lied down on the couch like always. and like always out of compulsion and force of habit i reached for my phone and looked up non dualism on twitter. and then i came across a tweet that said a simple sentence only- "nothing is ever actually happening." woah. that kinda drove me to the edge of the cliff i desperately wanted to jump off. i turned on some dnb background music and turned the shower on. i stood under the boiling hot water like some dramatic bitch and started piecing together the "puzzle". it all made so much sense now. i got out of the shower and left the house for the first time in months with a cute outfit and makeup on and everything. i went to the mall, bought candles, stickers, eye masks, coffee, and a doughnut with absolutely no social anxiety at all. i sat by window, read some poetry on my e-reader, cried, peered down at the floor below me and cried some more at the sight of little kids sitting on santa's lap and taking pictures and marveled at all the christmas decorations around me. it was insane. i decided i was going to be neutral towards everything but im in love. maddeningly so. in love with this dream that i thought did not love me back. but love is all there is. I AM ALL THERE IS. and i need you to take this literally. there is nothing happening. there is nothing here except you. nothing to fear, nothing to desire. ik a lot of people are going to dismiss this post because it's not a "materialisation success story" but i honestly dont think i can ever want anything physically bc in all its true essence, what is there to materialise? i am already whole and complete. i am lying on this cold hard floor, but i have never felt warmer. also ik there may be a lot of things ive written you might not agree with but again, this is NOT REAL. I AM. i hope this post helps you.

thank you to all the blogs ive come across and all the pointers they have shared: @se1f @realisophie @itgomyway @4dkellysworld @4dbarbie-backup @infiniteko @iamthat-iam and many more i cannot thank enough.

lots and lots of love (more than you can ever imagine), and good luck.

#nondualism #consciousness #advaita vedanta #awareness #advaita #non duality #law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #neville goddard

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elsfairy · 11 months

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꒰⠀ARTISAN ⠀⠀⎯⎯ ⠀⠀ABBY. 🪚 ꒱

artisan: a worker in a skilled trade, especially one that involves making things by hand. a/n: hahhaaaa hey. i know nothing about Carpentry, so please if you see something that makes no sense or isn't accurate, you do not. this is literally a self-indulgent with me and my 🎀 anon bc we need carpenter!abby.

CARPENTER!ABBY HEADCANONS

✧ First and foremost, Abby loved her job. Sure, it was a job that had her using her hands for hours on end, but that was something she loved about it, constantly doing something that she genuinely enjoyed doing & didn’t have her bored out of her mind.

✧ Her entire workshop is filled with scraps of wood & all sorts of different trinkets she has made over the years from where she went to work to become a carpenter. From an oak wood bookshelf that’s been dusted over for months to a Pine coffee table that now has many coffee stains covering the surface.

✧ The first time she met you was when she was dropping off a piece that she had started for someone in the apartment building you live in. And if it wasn’t for the fact you had left your door wide open, she wouldn’t have heard your cries and pleas for help when you started failing miserably at building a bookshelf you hadn't taken out the box since it arrived 2 weeks ago.

“You know you’re not supposed to screw the handles on the inside of the door, right?”

✧ Since that first encounter with the blonde, who gave you her number the minute she had been the one to put your brand bookshelf together perfectly without having much trouble, you’ve somehow managed to buy more things that do need to be assembled and you’re finding yourself calling her every time you need help. You’re always calling Abby. probably because you also love to drool over her muscles, the way they flex when she uses a saw & just overall watching her work but still.

✧ Her giddy crush kind of way but she loves to make you little gifts. Even if you don’t ask for them, she’s always finding something you might like but you always complain to her saying that it’s too much so you refuse to let her buy you anything. So she will make it for you instead because she has all the materials for it. That makes it more special & sentimental to her, being able to make you a little gift from the heart. She will spend hours perfecting & sanding the wood to be so damn smooth that you don’t end up getting splinters. Speaking of wood, she takes a long ass time to decide on what she wants to use for a start.

“I love that you always think about me when you make something. Thank you, Abs. I’m not really that artistic like you, but I could buy you dinner… if you want, my way of saying thank you for helping me”

✧ Loves it when you turn up at her workshop. Especially if you turn up with something for her lunch. You being there plus food? That melts her heart more than you could imagine. Most of the time, you’ve got to feed her though because one, she’s either so zoned in her work or two, she has sawdust everywhere on her hands and over her pants. So feeding her is always the best option while she works. It also just gives you a long time to gawk at her. From the way, her tongue pokes out the side of her mouth when she’s focused, to the sweat coating her forehead, strands of blonde hair falling from her braid, and how the sun shines through the window right onto her toned muscles. You also just loved how gentle and caring she was toward every piece of work she decides to do, whether it be a big project or small. She was always so delicate.

“Are you done staring, Doll? c’mon, let me teach you how to do it. One day I’ll need your help”

✧ Refuses to let you call someone to fix something that is broken in your apartment. She doesn’t care if she’s busy building or making something for one of her clients, if you call her and ask for help then you can be sure that she’s going to be there within 10 minutes to fix it for you. Says they always charge you way too much for their assistance, with her she also refuses to let you pay. She cares deeply about you, and charging you is something she will never do. A literal free-of-charge service.

“Making me one of those lemonades you always seem to have whenever I’m here is how you can pay me. If you’re drinking them a lot, they must be really good Doll”

✧ Secretly adores when you watch her work. She might be zoned out, and working extra hard but that doesn’t mean she can’t feel you staring at her. You’re not as oblivious as you seem. Abby can literally feel your eyes roam over her body and face until she has to pause in her movement and look up at you with a smirk on her lips. It’s not every day you get caught staring at such a beautiful woman designing a new coffee table for you, is it? Drooling just a little at the way her hands move, how tight those pants are around her thighs, and how her muscles bulge under that shirt.

“How about, you come over here, sit on my lap and we can do this together?”

✧ Her work patterns are all whack, not eating at the right times she should be, nor sleeping at a good time but she does love the nights when she finally gets to your apartment, eyes heavy and hands hurting from using them all day to find you already standing in the kitchen of your warm place, cooking dinner with the radio playing quietly in the background and small hums leaving your mouth. She loves your cooking, and also loves to see you using that dammed wooden spoon you practically begged her to make for you because you saw it online, but was too expensive to get.

“Missed you today, you smell like home. My home..”

✧ baby will build you whatever you ask for, or help you put together something you’ve bought for your room. she loves helping you & having you ask for help.

#uhhh yeah i went to a diff planet with this #abby tlou #abby anderson #abby the last of us #tlou abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson headcanons #carpenter!abby #abby anderson x reader

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auspicioustidings · 5 months

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Price finding an unaccounted for hostage while clearing a terrorist base

(I feel like I’ve read this from you before but with Ghost??? I really hope that was you bc if not that’s slightly embarrassing that I can’t remember 😵‍💫)

Fear not it was indeed me! Now in that universe Price did have a story as to how he got himself a wife so let's say this is a different universe entirely! And oh go on sure I'll make Price less of a kidnapper and more of a handsome hero figure <3

Very Bad, No Good Day

Words: 700ish

Captain John Price would not have hesitated to shoot you. You were in a terrorist hideout, there was no mention of any other civilians and honestly? You were a little too soft and doe-eyed to seem like anything but a trap. He swept the room before even considering going near you, in risk assessment mode. Nobody else here, hastily cleared out safe and then you handcuffed to the radiator with a rag tied around your mouth.

On the balance of probability it was likely you were not a terrorist once he had taken it all in. Wouldn’t make sense to leave you behind, too much of a wild gambit to try and honey trap one of his. Price had met honeytraps before, they did not tend to be thick women in their 30s and as he got closer he could very much see how soft and terrified you were. Poor thing.

Still, he could not rule out a trap entirely so he called it in and then searched you with firm hands and a gentle explanation.

“Need to confirm you’ve not got any weapons then we can get you somewhere safe.”

Fuck you were quite the dream woman weren’t you? He kept it tactical even as he felt around and found you very much had hips that begged his fingers to sink into them. Where the hell had this useless lot of criminals found a thing like you? He probably should have been more thorough before he took the rag from your mouth but he was busy trying to scold himself into not getting too handsy.

“Give me the quick version. Who are you, why are you here?”

You blurted out everything in a rapid fire babbling. Your name, your very bad no good day as the unluckiest postie in the entire world who had just been trying to do her job and deliver a package. You probably cried at him too much about it, maybe went too into detail about how mean your boss was and all the names he kept calling you and how he always gave you ridiculously hard routes rather than giving you a standard one like everyone else.

“Slow down luv, you’re fine. Deep breath.”

You tried, hard not to when this man was the one asking. He was like something out of a trashy romance novel, all gruff and handsome and commanding. For his part Price was doing a stellar job of not letting his face give away the massive ‘oops’ he had made. You were here because they had planned it that way. They had sent a package that was supposed to raise alarm bells, get everyone agitated and sloppy. He had not considered the idiots would think to blame the fucking postie for it.

It was outrageous how he took a little sharp pin from one of his pockets and picked the lock on your handcuffs. Should that have been as attractive as it was? You were absolutely sure you fell entirely in love with the man when he pulled you to your feet, showing off how strong he was (tactical on his part, contrary to what his team may believe John Price was not bad at flirting, he was merely subtle). Should he save it for when you were not being rescued from an active terrorist base? Maybe. But even if his team may be muppets they were muppets he trusted to have done their jobs when they gave him the all clear, letting him relax just a little.

He had fully intended on asking you out only you beat him to it, seeing if he might like to get a coffee as you were wrapped in a blanket with a medic checking over you.

A week later you had coffee. A fortnight and you got your back absolutely blown out over his office desk. It took 6 months for you to move in together (he had asked after 1, you had at least tried to take things slow). A year to the day you met he got down on one knee and you crashed into him with delight with a yes spilling from your lips.

Many years and several very fat and happy babies later you thought back on it and decided maybe it had not been a very bad, no good day after.

#mhairiwrites #cod #price x reader #john price x reader #Early's agenda of making everyone aware that Price loves himself a fat broad is fully working btw

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darkeralmond · 11 months

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Dance With Me

Luke Hughes x Reader

song: dance with me - beabadoobee

synopsis: luke and you dated all through sophomore, junior, and part of senior year. luke had his hands tied with hockey, so the both of you decide to break up. now, you’re alone at prom and luke is back to make things right

warnings: fluff, high school au!, exes to lovers, second chance romance, luke being the cutest ever, dance with me lyrics literally everywhere

word count: 1.6k

a/n: i’ve been posting a lot of conrad stuff so i would like to post something luke hughes related bc i just love him so much! i have a lot more conrad stuff coming don’t worry!! ALSO I LOVE BEABADOOBEE SHE IS THE CUTEST I SWEARR!!

masterlist | request info

4 MONTHS AGO

You would’ve preferred spending the night hanging out with Luke instead of sitting alone on your couch eating rocky road ice cream while watching Scream 2. Luke was busy preparing to go to Team USA for hockey. You wanted to be supportive and have him stay focused on that instead of you. He’s always wanted to go to the national hockey league, which is why playing on a national team was super important. You knew that.

Someone knocked on the front door which interrupted you from your movie. You looked back as your eyebrows knitted together. You placed down the quart of ice cream and paused your movie before heading up to the door. What if you were about to get killed? This was the start of every horror movie. Someone alone in their house while watching a scary movie.

‘Whatever,’ you thought. You opened it up to see Luke standing in the doorway, a frown on his face. Something was wrong. “Hey, baby. What’s the matter?” you asked.

He flashed a false smile, “Hey… can we sit for a bit?” That was never a good sign. You nodded your head as you listened to the beat of your heart as it pulsed. You invited him in and he sat down on the couch. “Look, Y/N…”

Instantly, you knew. The hanging of his head, the lack of eye contact, his anxiously toying with his thumbs. “You wanna break up,” you cut in. His brown eyes were full of sorrow as he met yours.

You nodded your head and looked at the tub of ice cream melting in the container. The lump in your throat grew, but you didn’t want to crack in front of him.

Luke placed his hand in yours, “It’s not because of you, I promise. It’s not that I don’t love you anymore. It’s just..”

“You’ll be gone for hockey,” you finished. He nodded his head, now looking down at his knees again. You watched him in your peripheral vision because you knew if you met his eyes, he would know how much it truly hurt you.

It didn’t take a look for your face to scrunch up as tears escaped your eyes. You took in a sniffled inhale through your nostrils and let out a shaky exhale through your mouth. “It’s okay, I understand.” You grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight.

He looked up and smiled sadly at you before leaning forward and kissing your forehead. You reached for the tissue box on the coffee table and retrieved a tissue. You dabbed at the salty tears staining your cheeks.

His lips met yours gently before he said, “I love you so much.” You stared into his brown eyes that were now red from holding back tears.

“I love you too,” you whispered. Holding back the sobs stuck in your throat felt impossible, but you had to stay strong for him.

His hand then slipped out of yours as he got up from his spot on the couch. He used the back of his hand to wipe away the few tears that seemed to escape. “Good bye, Y/N…”

“Bye, Luke…” With that, he left out the front door. You watched from the window in the living room as the headlights to his car turned on and pulled out of your driveway.

You hysterically cried on the couch, now letting all your emotions free. Your chest hurt and your body burned, it felt like your heart could explode right out of your rib cage. You hated the feeling that you were selfish for reacting this way. Luke was only following his dreams like you told him to, it was your job as your girlfriend to let him go when a bigger opportunity came. It’s just that no one warned you that letting go would hurt so bad…

PRESENT DAY

“Who’s having fun tonight?!” The DJ shouted over the mic. It was finally prom night and your first prom without Luke.

You had a date, Jason Porter. He was someone who showed an interest in you near the beginning of senior year, but you were with Luke. It wasn’t like you wanted to go to prom with Jason in a romantic way, but all your friends had dates, so it felt mandatory to ask someone.

When you all finally arrived at the dance, he immediately ditched you to go hang out with his baseball buddies instead of you. He stuck with his friends while you stuck with yours.

Your friend, Andrea, wrapped her arm around you and pulled you into a side hug. “He’s an idiot. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

Prom finally transitioned to the slow dancing period which is what you dreaded. The instrumental for Perfect by Ed Sheeran began playing, so your friends and their dates went onto the dance floor after you insisted you’d be good chilling by yourself.

You looked down at your hands and fiddled with your thumbs, something Luke would do when he’s nervous or upset. Just last year, you were dancing with him out there to this exact song. Now here you were, alone and miserable. You couldn’t help but feel pathetic.

You assumed Luke wouldn’t be back for prom, but you didn’t want to call or text him for confirmation. You figured he was too busy to talk to you which is why you didn’t make an effort to contact him.

“Y/N,” a voice spoke.

Guess you were wrong. You looked up and there he was standing right in front of you. Your heart skipped a beat as you stared at him in disbelief. “Luke?” You stood up and grabbed his face. It was him. You pulled him into a hug, laughing as you did so.

When you pulled back you rested your forehead against his. His hand was behind your head, resting on your neck. “Oh my God, Luke. I missed you so much!”

He kissed the top of your head and smiled widely, “I missed you too, Y/N. How have you been?”

You giggled, “Well at the moment, not too good. All my friends are out dancing with their dates, so I’m kind of lonely.”

“Well, where’s yours?” he asked, looking around.

“Um,” you mumbled. “He kind of ditched me, but it’s fine. Just sucks that there’s really no one to dance with.” You were obviously hinting that you wanted to dance with him.

He looked behind him at the people dancing and then back at you. “If you wanna dance… then dance with me.” Your mouth became too dry to speak. The fact he was here and the fact he wanted to dance. “It’s pretty fast, but this is what you do at prom, right?”

You cracked a smile and said, “Of course I want to dance.”

He led you toward the dance floor where you both started swaying with the music. He lifted your hand and rested it against his hip, he grabbed the other with his own hand as they moved to the beat. You looked up at his face to see his smile widening. “You look beautiful tonight,” he said.

You giggled and looked down at his suit. “Thank you, you look handsome.” You met his gaze again. “How’s Team USA?”

“Really fucking time consuming,” he laughed. You laughed with him as he continued his answer. “We’re always playing, and when we’re not playing we’re busting our asses on the ice.”

You felt unfamiliar with him holding you so close, you took a couple deep breaths. ‘Just take it slow and move your feet,’ you thought as you held onto the brunet. He held your waist and your eyes trailed along every feature of his face, memorizing each detail.

When you glanced up, his eyes were already trained on yours. He leaned towards you, capturing your lips in his. The kiss wasn’t long or passionate, instead it was sweet and comforting.

When you broke apart, he said, “I’m sorry about how things ended.” He ran his fingers through your hair to get the baby strands out of your face. “I’m sorry it ended at all.”

“I’m sorry for not reaching out,” you admitted. You bit down on your bottom lip as you stared into his gorgeous eyes. They held something else, some sort of pain and guilt.

“I’ve been miserable without you and I just really want to make things work. I don’t care about the distance, I only care about you.” His voice lowered to a whisper.

“Luke,” you frowned. “Are you sure you can handle a relationship while you’re gone?”

“You’re more than just a relationship, Y/N,” he said. “I know it’s kind of hard to tell, but I really like you.”

A small smile appeared on your face. “And I really like you too, Luke.”

He grinned at you, causing your heart to skip a beat. He brought a finger to your chin, raising it up. “Then will you give me another chance? I promise you won’t regret it.”

You nodded your head, trying to keep the tear that threatened to fall from falling. You didn’t want your makeup running down your face or to get mascara on your dress, so you quickly wiped away the escaping tears with your thumb. “Yeah…” You nodded once more. “I want that.”

Luke placed his forehead against yours again and held you closer. “So does that mean we can try again?” His words caused your heart to flutter once more.

“Of course it does, dummy,” you teased before kissing him gently.

#luke hughes #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes x reader #nhl players #nhl fanfiction #new jersey devils #exes to lovers #second chance romance

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beiiibeii · 17 days

Note

Kafka Angst, delicious, thankyou for the food. Okay this was from 11:49-12:21 jeez im tired.

Anyways, here’s thing for you!

“…I remember one morning it was just like any other, you brought coffee and I brought sweets. I remember, you spilled a little of my coffee on the table and made a surprised sound, but despite that, you looked up at me and you laughed. Your eyes were shining in the morning light— In hindsight really.. They’d always done that. A little bit brighter, with the golden sun. That’s the moment I realized I was really truly hopelessly in love with you. I told myself it was a longer mission than usual. That’s all, and yet I couldn’t stop liking you past our little meetings in the morning. I couldn’t help but want to ask more and more about yourself, the silly, little details unrelated to Elio’s script.”

At least, that’s what Kafka would like to say to you. Instead she watched through your window as you cried. Illuminated only by moonlight. It looked as though a meteor shower might be streaking across your face— quick and bright slashes. A sky full of grief, guilt, longing. Kafka couldn’t help but vaguely wondering if you must mirror her own feelings so well. Kafka was a formidable woman, that wasn’t a secret to anyone. What she wanted, she would eventually obtain. However everything else she had taken now seemed so.. Little in comparison to you. So worthless. The one thing Kafka wanted, craved— No. The one thing she needed, she couldn’t have. You. A little bit of water splashes her face. Unsurprising, there’s thunderclouds rolling overhead. Rain was bound to come sooner or later. The water rolls down her cheek, to the corner of her mouth. It takes a moment to register in her brain it’s salty, and the rain has not yet begun to fall.

She looks down at her hands, those hands that have felled many. Her tongue, which has been used to manipulate peoples minds into showing them horrors to last a lifetime, that tongue that has spit thousands of lies. Her eyes, which have watched on as an opponent met a slow, agonizing end. The eyes that showed a frenzied glee at the suffering. How could she ever be worthy of you? The shining bright light in the universe who could never be dimmed. One so pure and precious. She felt her chest tighten in shame. She could never wash the blood from her hands, it stained her entire being. Deep in her mind, a maze to all (even herself) she knew that if given the chance to cleanse her sins, she probably would not take it.

So the Stellaron Hunter turns, quickly scaling her way down to the bustling streets before you might see that familiar shape crouching across the way. Your eyes make their way to the window as you see quick movement, but as fast as it appeared it disappears just as well. And a drop of water hits the glass. And another. Until your window is pelted with the sky’s tears, and the sidewalks are a black mass of umbrellas.

I hope this was this much 🤏 entertaining to you

WHAJHSGD ANONIE?? THIS IS SO AMAZING WAAA IDEK IF I CAN ADD TO IT BC ITS ALREADY PERFECTT!! IM GETTING FED SO WELLL SHJSSJ SOBBING KAFKA ANGST HITTING TOO HARD RN AJSJSJS SHES SO BABYYY I WANNA HUG HERR 😕💗

kafka wears gloves to try to hide the blood that has stained her hands to try to make herself feel better :(

kafka probably has you as a live wallpaper on her phone. she would press down on her phone and the short video of you on that flower field would play. your smiling brightly as the rays of the sunset glowed so beautifully on you. lighting up your smile even more. she looks at it with a bittersweet memories as she reminds herself as to why she joined the stellaron hunters - to understand herself to be a better person and see that beautiful smile on your face everyday. :(

she listens to voice messages or watches videos she has saved of you whenever shes stressed. hearing your voice and the way you smile at her clears her head. calming her down. she can't help but grow a little tired of hearing the same videos and voice recordings. shes determined to get some new ones soon. <3

whenever you post on your snapchat stories, instagram, tiktok, any social media platform, kafka is always on an anonymous account. she constantly comments sweet things under your posts.

"hope you had fun <3"

"so beautiful, like always dear 💗"

"such a pretty smile you have :)"

kafka doesnt even try to change the way she writes to make you not catch on. she likes your posts and is usually the first one to see them too. You can't help but sense the familiarity of the way the commenter writes their comments. its ever so awfully familiar as to how kafka types. you want to believe it but you know its not her :(

kafka secretly hopes you recognise that its her. she knows it won't happen, but she will still keep believing that you will <3

#bei randoms #bei replys #hsr kafka #kafka x reader #kafka honkai star rail

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juyeonszn · 3 months

Text

PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER (PT. 2)

PAIRING kevin moon x f!reader

WORD COUNT 5.60k

GENRES angst ﹒little bit of fluff ﹒little bit of smut

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, reader is better than me cause i would not let kevin do all the shit he’s done 😭, ANYWAY i digress, this part is very reader-centric — whereas part one is very kevin-centric, inner turmoil goes absolutely crazy, most of this fic is reader putting kevin in his place and him realizing how big of an asshole he truly is, mentions of injury (past tense), mentions of insecurity, lots of arguing, reader cries at one point or another, the smut places a very minimal role in this, but unprotected sex, public sex (the auditorium dressing room), no foreplay but wtv we fall like soldiers in battle, pussy job lowkey (high key…), creampie, lmk if i missed anything!

SUMMARY it wasn’t like you and kevin hated each other. in fact, you quite admired him despite his somewhat indifferent attitude toward you. well, now that you’re paired up for the last dance of the year, you guess it’s the perfect time to find out why.

MORE oh my god. it’s finally fucking here. A MONTH, 2 SICKNESSES AND MANY MANY STRESSFUL NIGHTS LATER— part two of princess and the pauper is here!!! i’m so sorry to those of u who have been itching and waiting on me to get ‘er done,,, it’s been an ordeal to say the least, and while it’s nearing the two month mark since the black out or back out collab was announced, SHE FINALLY FINISHED!!! for once i saw something through omg i can sleep peacefully and work on my other wips without guilt now… 😭 ALSO THANK U SO MUCH MAYA @/kimsohn FOR PUSHING ME THROUGH THIS and for making me thug it out bc without u it definitely would’ve taken much longer to finish 💔 please dont forget to read part one and the other fics in the series if u haven’t!! both are linked below! and as always, pls reblog if u enjoyed <3

PART ONE | SERIES MASTERLIST

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri @deoboyznet @cloverdaisies @vernyangel @ericlvr @sunwooverse @kimsohn

TAGLIST @millksea @deobibbang @deobi0412

Never in your life have you felt so… Confused.

It wasn’t just confusion that settled deep in the pit of your stomach. There was a sharp pain there too, like someone stabbed you and twisted the knife. That was probably the best way to describe what you were feeling. You were bleeding out, and no one was coming to save you.

Kevin wasn’t answering your calls. He wasn’t answering your texts. He ran out of the lecture hall as soon as class was over, never giving you a moment to speak to him. It was making you nervous.

You still had half of a dance to choreograph and a fuck ton of pressure riding on your back. After the last performance you and him did together, you’d have a lot of eyes on you. It most definitely wasn’t your fault that he dropped you. How many people willingly want to acquire a broken ankle? The crutches were a bitch to maneuver around with. But like every single thing that’s happened in the three years you’ve known Kevin Moon, he’s managed to place the blame on you like it was.

It was crucial that you make amends with him even if it was momentarily. Your final grades were dependent on your performance. If he couldn’t get his shit together for at least that, he was a lost cause in your mind. Not even your professor would be able to refute that fact. Actually, nobody would be able to refute that fact.

Your lips form an O as you blow the steam away from your coffee, pulling out your phone to try Kevin’s phone once again. The line rings a few times before going straight to voicemail like it has the past couple weeks. You kiss your teeth, tying your sweater around your waist as you slump in your chair. The baristas at the campus cafe were probably sick of seeing you sitting in the same high-top counter spot since the incident with Kevin in the studio.

“Y/N?”

Ji Changmin appears beside you and you click your phone off, so he wouldn’t see his friend’s contact on the screen. You give the Early Childhood Dev major a weak smile.

“Changmin! What’s up? How are you and your girlfriend?” You hope he can’t recognize the distress written all over your features. You highly doubt it, though. You can feel the wrinkles pulling at your skin.

“We’re good! How’s the showcase performance going with Kev?” He asks like he knows something you don’t. When your lips fall to a thin line, an all too familiar grimace, he sighs a knowing sigh. “Do I have to smack some sense into him?”

“Not gonna lie, yeah, you do. He’s being really fucking difficult and like half of our dance is unfinished. I can’t even get a hold of him, so I’m starting to lose my patience.” You express your annoyance. The border between complacency and free-will was a lot slimmer than one might think. For example; your feelings when it comes to Kevin Moon.

You don’t expect to get a returning call later that night when you’re washing dishes after dinner.

In fact, you don’t even hear it at first, too absorbed in scrubbing the staining out of your bowl. It’s when your roommate yells out to you, that you snap out of your reverie, albeit dazedly. You dry your hands on a nearby tea towel, hitting the green answer button without a second glance at the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Are you free tomorrow?”

Your heart catches in your throat. You recognize the owner of the voice practically by the first breath into the receiver alone. It’s actually kind of unhealthy how quickly it took to realize who was on the other end. You swallow heavily, praying he doesn’t hear the gulp.

“In the latter part of the afternoon, I believe. Why?” You try not to sound hopeful. That’s one thing you’ve learned being in the same vicinity as Kevin Moon. You could never be too expecting, because it would only lead to disappointment. And you’d dealt with enough of that the past few years.

“We need to finish this fuck ass choreography,” he grunts, and it takes everything in you to bite your tongue. “I’ll meet you in the same studio at 4.”

He doesn’t let you get anything else in, hanging up swiftly. You deflate as you set your phone back on the counter. All you had to do was push through these next couple weeks, like you always have when it came to him.

That should be a piece of cake, right?

Wrong.

“No, that looks stupid.”

You grit your teeth, swiping the back of your hand on your forehead. You’d been inside of this studio maybe 30 minutes tops, and you were on the verge of strangling Kevin. With as long as you’d been putting up with his shit, you thought getting through this wouldn’t be as rough as it’s been. But if there was one thing Kevin Moon had, it was pride.

“We don’t have time for you to nitpick right now. Let’s just finish the choreography and clean it after.” Your hands rest on your hips, nostrils flaring.

“If we clean as we go, we’ll have more time to drill it into our systems and get down muscle memory. It’ll be a stronger performance.” He argues. You roll your eyes as you turn away from him, taking a water break to calm yourself. “Why do you have so much fucking attitude today? You were the one preaching to the choir about me making things difficult. It seems the tables have turned.”

Usually, you were pretty good at keeping your frustration at bay when it came to Kevin’s remarks. You liked to think it was because you were down bad for the guy, despite him always wanting nothing to do with you. But as of late, (Read: Since your performance of Princess and the Pauper) every little comment he’s made has managed to crawl under your skin like a damn parasite. You were beginning to get real sick of it.

“God, you’re so—“ You interrupt yourself to groan, fingers curling into fists. “You’re fucking insufferable. Do you know that? I’ve been bending over backwards to ensure we aren’t kicked out of the goddamn program and you don’t even fucking care. Over what? A kiss that you initiated?”

Kevin is stunned into silence, not at all prepared for you to blow up on him like that. After all, that razor thin line between complacency and free-will had yet to be crossed. And well, it appears that you just crossed it. You whip around toward him, pulling down the collar of your t-shirt to reveal the faintest of bruises that still remains from your impromptu act of intimacy.

“I’ve had to look at this every day for a week and all it’s done is make me feel shitty, ashamed of something I didn’t even start. Now I need you to stop acting like an ass and get it together so we can finish this and perform the best dance this university has ever seen.” Your chest is heaving up and down, similarly to when you made out against the mirrors last week. Except this time isn’t out of breathlessness, but rather anger and exhaustion.

Kevin’s eyes don’t leave the hickey on the base of your throat, something undetectable swimming in them as he stares. You can’t read the emotions swirling rampantly in his irises, a mixture of too many blurring into one another. Honestly, it’s funny. It’s funny that it’s taken you this long to get him to shut his mouth for once.

So you laugh.

It’s a snort at first, an off handed projection of how comical the situation has become to you. But then it metamorphoses into a small giggle, which leads to full scale laughter that has you hunching over your knees and wiping away tears. This whole thing is stupid. Absolutely fucking stupid.

“What are you laughing at?” His eyebrow raises in question, broken from his weird trance.

“I just can’t believe it took three years for me to shut you up,” you shake your head slowly, rubbing your eye with the heel of your palm. “You’re always the one who can’t stop talking.”

Kevin deadpans, mouth pulled pin-straight as his expression drops. “You’re so unserious.”

As the height of your laughter reaches a valley, you collapse onto the ground, resting your back against the mirror. You take another long sip of water before sighing. “Look, I know this isn’t ideal. Trust me, I know. But, we’ve gotta set aside our differences just this once. Please, for the sake of the department.”

“Fine,” he murmurs, plopping down beside you to stretch his back. “Let’s finish choreographing so we can start cleaning it up.”

It’s a victory in your book, and probably the most obedient the Pisces has ever been. Maybe this wouldn’t end in complete disaster like you assumed it would. It turns out Kevin Moon wasn’t entirely brainless and knew when he was wrong. Sometimes. Maybe. We’ll see.

You shut your eyes and visualize what you’ve choreographed so far, going over the moves in your head to see if the rest will come to you like a prophecy. It’s wishful thinking, but with how much you’ve accomplished since setting foot in the studio, you’re willing to try anything. The track would be nice for elements of hip hop style choreography, but you knew the audience wouldn’t eat it up as much as they would the route you’re currently taking.

Driver roll up the partition, please…

The song plays through the speakers and you watch as Kevin stands to run through everything you have. You’re entranced by his movements, the flow of his body on certain points. It’ll look ten times better once you’re doing it with him, costumed and performing it perfectly in front of a crowd. You can picture it now, the gentle but controlled glide of his hands along your arms when Beyoncé sings “We ain’t even gonna make it to this club”. He was right. You very well might be seduced by your enemy.

“Should we use props?” You suddenly voice, eyes narrowed in thought. He hums.

“That’s… not a half-bad idea, actually,” his tongue darts out to wet his lips. “What did you have in mind?”

“A chair, maybe,” you look away from him, placing your focus on the way your toes alternate between a tendu and relaxed position. “That could take up a good chunk of the choreo.”

Kevin stalks over to the supply closet in the corner of the studio, pulling out a folding chair. He puts it in the center of the room gently, careful to not scratch up the wooden, lacquered flooring. You spend the next couple of hours brainstorming through numerous versions of the dance. While it was a lot easier than your past practices, there were still the occasional argument over which movements looked good and whatnot.

At a certain point, everything becomes cohesive and the end is near. You gulp down some water as Kevin does some random choreography. It’s then that it comes to you, like a vision from That’s So Raven. You practically drop your water bottle, scrambling to your feet and stopping him. Your breath is heavy from fatigue and you’re slightly afraid of even suggesting this, but it’s exactly what this dance needs. It’s exactly what everyone wants to see from the two of you.

He pauses the music and gestures for you to get on with it. You push down the lump in your throat, scared of rejection. But maybe he was smart and he would agree that this is what you have to do. “What if we did a lift?”

You see the hesitation swirling in his eyes and you raise a finger before he can shut you down entirely. “Nothing crazy like… um— you know— Princess and the Pauper, but something smaller. Something… sexy? Like, Dancing with the Stars type beat.”

When he shrugs instead of outright dismissing your idea, you know you’ve won. He nods slowly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “Okay, sure. But we better clean up everything else fast so we can perfect the lift.”

The two of you take another three hours running the entirety of the choreography, ingraining the moves into your brains and muscles. You still had a bit until the actual showcase, but your priority now lies with the lift. If you nailed it, the entire department would very well grovel after you in reparation for all of the slack you got after Kevin dropped you. Hell, the entire university would kiss your feet. This was your redemption. In more ways than one.

You both decide to call it a day at around 9:30 PM. Your hands reach for your belongings and then you halt yourself, a thought coming to mind. While you had him in this weird state of obedience, you figured it was as good a time as any to ask the question that’s been weighing on you for the past few years. Your fingers swipe away the sweat beading around your hairline.

”Kevin,” you start, voice a lot softer than before. “Why do you— what did I do to make you dislike me so much?”

He’s caught completely off guard, eyes widening in surprise. If he was anticipating you to say anything else prior to parting ways tonight, he didn’t think this would be it. He’s actually a little off put that you hadn’t asked him this already in the span of your definitely-one-sided rivalry. He takes a large gulp of water.

”I’d call it indifference, not dislike,” he corrects after a pregnant silence. “It’s really fucking stupid thinking about it in hindsight. I don’t know if you remember this time, way back in our first year, we ran into each other at the campus cafe— literally, might I add— and you spilled your coffee all over this white shirt of mine that Changmin had gotten for me as a birthday gift. I only recently found out that it wasn’t as expensive as he made it out to be.”

You blink at his admission, processing his words as thoroughly as possible. You don’t know what you wanted him to say. You weren’t even sure if there was a concrete reason for him to be so fucking mean to you all this time. And now that you know, you come to the conclusion that Kevin Moon isn’t as smart as you’ve painted him out to be in your head. He’s actually a gigantic idiot. Because who in their right mind goes through these lengths to form a distance between the only other person on par with their talent?

Before you can stop yourself, you’re bursting into another fit of laughter. Kevin falters at your reaction. He was waiting for you to blow up on him, to scream in his face for causing you so much pain and unnecessary drama over something so silly. So when you do none of that, when you start fucking laughing like a damn hyena, he feels dumb. Like his entire college career has been built off of nothing.

”This is so—“ you pause to gather your bearings, wiping away the tears that managed to escape. “We’ve spent so much time going back and forth over some spilled coffee? Surely you’ve realized how insane that is at some point.”

”It took a lengthy argument with Changmin, but yeah, I did,” he nods, adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”

You worry your lower lip between your teeth, finally getting your things together. The two of you bid each other an awkward goodbye. Neither of you knew what to make of your relationship now that things had been partially sorted through. There was a fuck ton of baggage that still had to be sifted, but at least you had an answer.

That was enough to push through this showcase performance. You think.

You’re nervous.

Never in your entire life have you ever been this nervous for a performance.

You grew up doing musical theatre and dancing, it’s always been the one constant presence you could rely on. But standing here, backstage at the showcase, you think you’re going to throw up. Your palms are clamming up uncontrollably and your chest feels unbearably heavy as you watch the quartet doing a contemporary piece to some ballad you couldn’t be bothered to remember the name of. There were still a couple groups before you.

Not even when you had to perform fuckass Princess and the Pauper were you this anxious. You wince, trying to stop the incessant bouncing of your leg. Your weight keeps shifting from one hip to the other. As a seasoned veteran, you don’t know why you feel this way. Maybe it had to do with all the pressure riding on this very dance. Every single eye in that crowd was going to scrutinize your every move on that stage.

“Calm down,” a voice whispers harshly from beside you. “You’re making me nervous.”

Kevin wraps his fingers around your wrist, stopping the annoying tap-tap-tap your own were doing against your thigh. He gives you a look, and you sigh. “Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

That’s a lie. Not only was the high expectations from the entire school getting to you, but so was the fear of history repeating itself. He knows this, it was inevitable. After what happened the last time he was tasked with lifting you, it was only natural.

”We’ve drilled this dance hundreds, if not thousands, of times, Y/N. We’ll do just fine.” Kevin assures you.

His hand feels foreign holding yours, like it was illegal for his skin to be touching your own. You feel your lower lip quiver, a sense of trepidation that you’ve never once felt creeping down your spine. Your mind was spiraling, and quite honestly, Kevin being so close was making it worse. All you could think about was him dropping you again, leaving you in the middle of the stage with a broken leg and a broken heart. You release a shaky breath and he turns to face you.

Your eyes widen and he searches your face for any disingenuity. When he finds his answer, he brings the hand that was holding yours up to cup your cheek. He’s cautious, afraid he might break you like he always does. He waits for you to shove him away and to yell at him for being a fucking coward.

You don’t. You stay still, hoping he follows through with what you think he’s about to do. And then he does.

It’s such a featherlight peck of his lips on your own, you almost don’t even register. But sparks shoot from the source all the way to the tips of your fingers. You feel as if you were dealt a static shock of electricity, your whole body buzzing from the small kiss alone.

He pulls away just in time for the stage manager to inform you that you’re next. Kevin rolls his neck jogging over to the wings to patiently await your performance like he hadn’t just kissed you a moment ago. You blink dumbly, two fingers coming up to touch where his lips had been. Sure the nerves were gone now, but the sensation of butterflies swarming about in your stomach easily replaced that. What the fuck was his problem?

“Our last performance is one I’m sure all of you have been waiting for. Kevin Moon and Y/N L/N with Partition!”

Before you know it, you and Kevin are in position, your body squared upstage and his to the crowd. Your eyes are closed, but you can feel his arm wrapped around your waist and his steady breathing on your nose. The spotlight switches on, the heat of the lighting warm against the side of your face. It’s silent in the auditorium, but it rings in your ears. You could do this.

Let me hear you say ‘Hey Miss Carter’…

You move on reflex, muscle memory kicking in instantaneously. Each circle of your hips, every turn you make— a fouetté here, a pirouette there, a couple coupes, each roll of your body. But what really gets you is the long brushes of Kevin’s skin on your own. You’d practiced with distance between the two of you. There was a tension that had been there for years. Now it’s all coming to a rolling boil, a new uncharted tension that every single member in that audience could see.

And then comes the lift.

You, along with everybody in the auditorium, practically hold your breath when Kevin’s hands grip your hips. He raises you above him with all of his strength, completely focused on you and only you. You shut your eyes and feel the moment, like, really feel it. Your body is relaxed, the Dirty Dancing-esque lift bringing the whole performance together just like you knew it would. The only difference from the movie and real life is the fact that you’re flipped, your backside to Kevin and your chest to the ceiling.

Your eyes flutter open, the spotlight all but blinding you, and you finally feel content. Like everything has fallen into the right place for once in your life. Especially so when Kevin sets you down gently and you finish your dance with the utmost confidence.

The crowd erupts into a roaring chorus of applause, going as far as giving you a standing ovation. Holy shit. You pulled it off. You actually managed to pull it off.

Your face feels like it might split from how big your smile is. You and Kevin bow, walking off stage. You’re entirely too happy right now, a newfound energy overtaking you as you trail behind him.

“We did it!” You cheer as you follow him towards the dressing room where your things are. You’re the only ones left backstage, everyone else filtering out between performances. Kevin doesn’t give you much of a response, just a small nod of acknowledgment. Your smile falters. “What the hell is your problem?”

”Nothing, Y/N, fuck. Can you just mind your own fucking business?” He snaps, turning around to glare at you just as the door slams behind you. You instinctively flinch at both loud noises. His features soften but you take a step back from him.

You aren’t sure why you’re surprised. This isn’t anything new. Kevin has always made it crystal clear that he wasn’t your number one fan. Being neutral for your performance wasn’t enough to repair all the holes in whatever your relationship was, and you should’ve known better. You shouldn’t have let your guard down so easily. You should’ve expected this. Old dogs can never learn new tricks.

But Kevin’s scared. He’s afraid of letting you in after all the mess he’s put you through. The only thing he’s good at doing is hurting you, over and over like there was a prize that came out of it.

”Look…”

”No, you listen to me,” you swallow heavily, tears already tight lining your eyes. “Kevin, I have taken so much shit from you. Over these past few years I have just sat there and let you unload all your fucked up insecurities onto me. Have you ever wondered why? Have you ever thought to stop and think about why I let you be so mean to me without even questioning it?”

He says nothing, just stares with his lips parted. They open and close like a fish out of water, words there at the tip of his tongue but refusing to make their escape. And then one of your tears rolls down your cheeks and he’s directly in front you, his heart on his sleeve for the first time since you’ve met him.

”Why?” The simple question is so quiet, you almost don’t hear him. But his eyes hold so much hurt, so much anguish that you’ve never seen in a person before.

“I’ve had feelings for you for so long, it’s actually starting to ache. You’ve only ever seen me as this thing, this obstacle. And I’m afraid that that’s all I’ll ever be to you, because you won’t let me be anything else. You won’t—“

”That’s not true, Y/N,” Kevin sighs, looking off to the side, away from you. “I just— it’s complicated. It’s more than just being rivals.”

”So help me understand,” you frown. “Let me in, please.”

”My entire life I’ve had to work to get to where I am. I’ve fought tooth and nail to be as good of a performer as I am today. There were so many hoops I had to go through to even get into this program and— and I thought I’d finally become the best I could be. I thought that there was no way anyone could ever be better than me. And then you showed up. You and your pretty smile and your natural ability to be the best at everything you do. It was like you were the real life manifestation of all of my critics, of every challenge I faced to get here. Where I had to practice day and night to perfect something, it just came to you like second nature. During Princess and the Pauper, when I dropped you, it truly was an accident. But we’d spent so much time nailing it, that it— I just made myself feel better by saying it was your fault. ‘How could it have been my fault if I perfected it?’ I was jealous and petty and it was just easier to blame hating— to blame my indifference on you spilling coffee on my stupid shirt. For that, I’m sorry.”

You don’t know what you were waiting to hear, but it wasn’t that. Your tears turn into full on blubbering, because what the fuck? That’s so much burden for someone to carry on their shoulders for three years.

“Why are you— why are you crying?” He flounders, reaching up to swipe away your tears.

“I wish I knew… I wish I could’ve helped you somehow,” you sniffle. “Kev, I’ve always admired you and your work ethic. I hoped one day I’d be half as disciplined as you, half as determined.”

He blinks. You’re both dumb, aren’t you? Too focused on the wrong things. You both could’ve been a lot less hateful, a lot less miserable, had you just spoken your differences out. This entire rivalry has been completely one sided, but also built off of plain stupidity and ignorance. He supposes it’s not too late to make amends if you aren’t running in the opposite direction despite everything he’s put you through.

Kevin leans forward, hand still pressed to your cheek, and connects your lips softly. He’s testing the waters, making sure you’re comfortable before he continues anything. When you don’t back away just yet, he adds more force, deepening the kiss like a man starved. You whine against his lips.

This is what you’ve been wanting from him. More than what he gave you before your performance, but not what happened in the studio a few weeks ago. This desperation isn’t abashed lust, it’s unbridled affection— it’s everything he’s holed inside of himself for years, unwilling to let it see the light of day until now. If you were to label anything as perfection, it wouldn’t be a dance or a moment on stage, it would be this. Just you and Kevin finally bringing yourselves together in the most intimately emotional union.

He pulls you closer to him, hands sliding down to grasp at your waist, bunching up the thin fabric of your leotard. You can’t help but bury your fingers in his hair, tugging when he nips at your lower lip. A gasp permeates the air when his mouth travels south, along your jaw and down the side of your neck. He bites and sucks the tender skin at the base of your throat, ensuring he leaves his mark on you. This time isn’t careless, this time he has purpose. He wants everybody to know that you’re his, that you’re the only person insane enough to put up with him.

Your breathing is shaky when you reach behind you to lock the dressing room, dragging him over to the long vanity adjacent to you. He slots between your legs when you hoist yourself onto the surface. He pecks your lips and pauses his movements, rubbing up and down your thighs. In the dim, yellow lighting of the room, you look so gorgeous. He’s always thought you were beautiful, the most stunning thing he’s ever laid his eyes on, but he’s repressed it for so long. He wants to take his time staring at what he’s avoided.

”You’re so pretty,” he says quietly, kissing you again and again and again. “I don’t think I can last long with you.”

“Can we skip the foreplay?” You ask, bottom lip jutted into a pout. “Need you to just fuck me like you mean it.”

Kevin’s forehead falls to your shoulder with a groan. “I don’t deserve you,” God, he’s such an idiot for holding out from this. You should’ve been given the world and so much more. He has a lot of lost time to make up for. He kisses your shoulder with a sigh. “Yeah, baby, I can do that.”

You don’t waste another second, slipping your arms through the sleeves of your leotard. He has to bite down on his tongue when he sees that you’re braless, fingers going slack as they unbutton the rest of his silk shirt. You shimmy out of the one piece, left in nothing but the fishnet stockings you wore underneath and your lacy panties. Kevin thinks he must’ve done at least something right in a past life to experience this.

Your eyes sparkle as you look up at him, undoing his slacks and kicking them down his legs with your feet. Something takes over him when he rips a bigger hole in your stockings, pushing your underwear to the side. His thumb glides through your folds with ease, your slick providing enough lubricant. He pushes your lower lips apart while you busy yourself shoving his underwear to his ankles.

His cock slips inside of you with less friction than he would’ve thought, but he doesn’t complain, screwing his eyes shut as he acclimates to the feeling of your walls surrounding him. You moan, such a soft sound that he nearly loses his balance.

“You feel so good, baby,” he coos, digging his fingers into your hips as he rocks his own. “You’re so so perfect.”

The praise is too much for you, given the circumstances. Your brain is already cloudy, stuffed with what could only be described as cotton. You watch with half lidded eyes as he begins to piston into you at a faster speed. This all feels like a fever dream, something that was only possible in your craziest fantasies. Even then, it seemed unlikely.

“‘M close, Kev,” you whine, unable to stay still and attempting to match his thrusts.

“Already? We’ve only just started, gorgeous.” He laughs, but it’s breathy, strained from the exertion of his body. You hardly have the strength in you to be embarrassed about it, especially since he’s seen you in much worse situations.

You nod frantically, snaking a hand between you to circle your clit with nimble fingers. Kevin halts you and pulls out momentarily, sliding his cock between your folds like it was your hand. The tip catches your sensitive bundle of nerves repeatedly, making you dizzier than you already were.

He presses back into you with ease, resuming his sloppy but animalistic pace. He uses his thumb to continue your handywork, your cunt fluttering around him needily. You’re both losing your sanity quickly, both going batshit insane over the bare minimum. You’ve just needed this for so long, yearned for this moment for a humiliating amount of time.

Your moans start to rise in pitch and he groans. “Fuck, baby, you can cum for me.”

He could cry, he thinks, when your back arches and your legs shake with your orgasm. It hits you like a freight train, triggering his own release just as fast.

You stay like that for a bit, regaining yourselves and comprehending everything that’s just happened. So much for the whole hating each other narrative.

“What does this mean for us?” You suddenly ask, arms hooked around Kevin’s neck. You’re still connected by your lower halves, but he makes no effort to pull away. Part of you likes it that way, it gives you hope that this isn’t a one time affair.

“It’ll be hard for things to change overnight,” he says, massaging your sides. “We have a lot of unresolved issues and insecurities that we still have to push past. But I’m willing to do that with you. I want to take a chance on us.”

Your lips pull into a smile, an expression you don’t think you’ve worn around him genuinely in the years you’ve known him. “I do, too.”

“It’s kind of ironic that it was a performance that tore us apart and brought us back together, don’t you think?” He laughs.

“And we fucked in the dressing room…” You add, glancing to the top corner where a security camera is stationed.

“Maybe we should get out of here before someone checks the footage,” he suggests. “Tau Beta Zeta is conveniently hosting our end of semester party tonight, do you wanna be my plus one?”

“I would be honored.” You grin, pecking his lips tenderly.

Perhaps happy endings existed after all.

#deoboyznet #the boyz #the boyz x reader #the boyz smut #tbz #tbz x reader #tbz smut #the boyz kevin #tbz kevin #kevin moon x reader #kevin moon smut #kevin x reader #kevin smut #moon hyungseo #blackoutorbackout🍻#juyeonszn

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bitchinbarzal · 6 months

Note

“but hear me out,, mase always swore he’d never be like mama mct’s ex boyf bc he was a piece of shit,, then he goes and cheats on her… that’s definitely that catalyst in mason & trevor’s friendship bc trevor trusted mason with his baby sister”

Just this… 👐🏻

It happened before they were together so could I really be considered cheating, Trevor thought so.

It was all fun and laughter in the ducks locker room majority of the time. Guys would make digs at one another it was all quite fun.

Jamie and his wife had recently announced their venture to adopt a babygirl and were picking out names so the team decided to weigh in.

Names were thrown about until Jamie said “My mom said Lola”

“Hey Tav, remember when you fucked that girl from where was it? Texas or something? Wasn’t her name Lola?” Someone shouts and Mason’s body freezes.

“Hard to believe Mason was ever with anyone who wasn’t little Z, she’s got him wrapped around his finger for like three years now”

The teammate frowns “No… tav you screwed that girl like three-“

“Okay enough dude” Mason snaps and Trevor interjects “No, let him finish. He screwed this girl when?”

“Like three years ago? It was what start of the season?”

Trevor looks at Mason who is visibly on edge before he pounces on him “You son of a bitch!”

Everyone has to get in to rip them away from one another. Eventually pulling them apart while their chests heave

“I trusted you! She trusted you! You have a baby!” Trevor screams.

“I know, I know ok?! We weren’t together yet and it was just one stupid night Z!” Mason défends to which Trevor snarls

“The first night, the night you picked her up I told you, I said to you to take care of her! You promised me!”

Trevor didn’t often get so wound up when it didn’t concern his kids but his baby sister was not grounds for disrespect.

“Trev it was nothing!”

Trevor rolls his eyes and grabs his bag “You better tell her”

“Trevor she’s just had a baby, I can’t-“

“Tell her. Or I will” he snaps, leaving the locker room.

When Mason left the facility he drove around a bit just trying to hold off coming home so he wouldn’t have to face you.

When he eventually walked in you were sat with Jude on the couch reading to him

“Hey sweet boy” you greet, standing up to meet him in the doorway “Say Hi Jude, hi daddy”

The sweet moment is followed by a silent pause when mason says “Babe can you sit down? I have to speak with you”

You frown “Baby what’s wrong?”

“Please?” He gestured to the couch and you oblige, shushing Jude in the process.

Mason leans against the coffee table and you say

“Mason just say it, you’re scaring me!”

“I slept with someone” he blurts out and your heart drops.

“You What?”

He sighs “It was a long time ago, it was when you went back to New York to stay with your parents after your ex and you said you needed space so I went out and I just- fuck babe I’m sorry, ok?”

“So you just stuck your dick in another woman because what? I needed space?” You Ask and it’s scary how calm you are.

“It wasn’t like that! I didn’t know if you’d even want me when you got back!”

“But you didn’t care to find out eh? What happens if she’d stuck around? Would you have been with her? Would this never have happened?”

The this in question is gestured by pointing between you both and mason looks at your sleeping baby boy, thinking of the life where he wasn’t here.

“I didn’t want to hurt you”

You scoff “Well you have”

“Babe please it’s not like I did it ever again, we weren’t together!”

“But we had an emotional connection Mason! I wanted you and you couldn’t wait until the next thing that opened her legs came along” you cried “I thought you weren’t like him”

His face drops “Hey, I am nothing like him!”

“Oh yeah? I’m not finding all that much different right now” you taunt and mason knows you’re trying to get under his skin so he lets it slide.

He sighs “What do you want me to do, I’ll do anything to prove how sorry I am” he begs and you nod

“After this, I’m done” you nod to Jude “I don’t want anymore babies with you”

You’d spoken about at least three kids with you being one of four and mason being one of two.

“What-“

“And I don’t want to get married” you reply, handing back the ring he’d recently given you when you’d given birth “I can’t trust you won’t break by heart again”

Mason watches then as you stand up and drop a sleeping baby Jude in his arms and walk out the room. Then Jude begins crying to which mason hushed him and mumbles

“I know exactly how you’re feeling bud”

#mason and mom

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alexxncl · 10 months

Text

how the obey me characters like their coffee

brothers, dateables + luke, and side characters

resurgence of my coffee obsession has me thinking thoughts

and i'm right bc they all told me this themselves

masterlist | more drabbles/hcs

lucifer

i feel like he likes his shit sickeningly sweet...like you can barely taste the coffee

so much creamer it almost looks like milk, so much sugar that your teeth will fall out just by looking at it

it used to help him stay awake, but he's immune to it now. he just drinks it to drink it

he doesn't care for iced coffee that much. he had a sip of mammon's and almost gagged

mammon

the blackest coffee you've ever seen, extra espresso shots, whether it's hot or iced

y'all know how pedro pascal and jaemin from nct like their coffee? yeah...nasty

if he hasn't had his coffee, don't talk to him

unless you're mc or luke. then you have a pass

he drinks it before he leaves the house, while he's walking to RAD, while he's in class, while he's at lunch, while he's in detention, while he's-

you get the picture

but he won't admit that he's addicted

levi

he likes chai tea 🫶🏽

coffee never sat well with him, it made him more anxious than he already is

he likes the taste but he can live without it

he drank a bunch of it once while pulling an all-nighter with mammon before an exam...never again

luci and mams keep a very close eye on his caffeine intake

satan

no cream or milk, but a shit ton of sugar

"bitter like my soul" headass

he doesn't drink it often, but he's particular when he does

doesn't like hot coffee because he can't drink it right away

either makes it himself or asks asmo to do it when he's too tired

asmo

more milk than sugar with a pretty design on top

an oat milk girlie

strongly prefers hot coffee but will drink either

he just has a knack for creative stuff, y'know?

i feel like he worked as a batista for a while and does little pop up shops for his fans :(

beel

he doesn't drink coffee like that. it doesnt do anything for him

but he likes sweet things, so he asks belphie to put flavored creamer or sweetened almond milk and a lot of sugar in it whenever he does drink some

he started drinking it to get closer to luci and mams, but he never made a habit out of it like the two of them

asked asmo if he could learn how to make it so that mammon wouldn't run out during the day and is actually really good at it

belphie

do NOT give him coffee

he hates it

it's nasty and it makes him jittery

he'll make it, and he's almost as good as asmo, but he won't drink it. absolutely not

diavolo

never really got the hype until he had some of lucifer's

only drinks his coffee that way now

he still prefers tea, but a little caffeine every now and then won't hurt

he tried black coffee and hated it. you know he loves his sweets

barbatos

drinks it on occasion but will lie if you ask him about it

he's THE tea demon, yk? can't let the title be for nothing

if he makes some for diavolo, he'll drink it however dia likes it

if he's just making it for himself, he likes it with a little sugar and no creamer

simeon

spiked (sometimes, when he's not writing) and black

mainly because he doesn't want luke to drink any and thinks this is the best course of action

also because it keeps him awake

(he's like lucifer, coffee doesn't do anything for him anymore. it's a habit atp)

solomon

spiked and sweet

he's too old and too tired

but it's only ever spiked with top shelf, aged, hard shit bc he's extra

tried it black and spiked and hated it

luke

please don't give the baby coffee

11 year olds don't need coffee

he kept asking to try it, so mammon gave him some of his (much to simeon's disdain) and he quite literally almost died

he'll never touch it again bc why is it so BITTER

he won't admit to it but he cried

mammon has proof - videos and pictures

mephisto

tried it once and threw it away

likes his black like mammon, but way less espresso

only likes iced americanos

also likes them extremely watered down ??? idk man he's weird

raphael

another tea drinker but he likes his caffeinated

can't stand the taste of coffee, he doesn't know how simeon drinks it so often

tried some of simeon's - before he started spiking it, mind you - and threw it away bc he thought it was disgusting

simeon did not in fact cry (yes he did)

thirteen

it depends on the day, but she's a mocha girlie 99% of the time

when just wants coffee or she's having a really bad day, she gets her usual

if it's a really good day, she gets something different

iced or hot, she doesn't care

a very specific order and only gets hers from a very specific mom and pop shop in a run-down area of the otherworld

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thisisnotkitty · 6 months

Text

hello securitywaiter nation have you thought about ness being abby’s teacher bc I HAVE

below the cut because i can't shut up ever :D

-abby does well enough in school academically but is still needs some work in the socioemotional dept

-when she starts a new school year mike is a bit worried but then she comes back home absolutely ecstatic and mike is like “okay this is good”

-she talks all about how mr. ness lets her color while he teaches and how mr. ness gave them all name tags w silly drawings (hers is a bear) etc etc

-mike is actually really happy bc most teachers have a hard time understanding abby (heck, he has a hard time understanding her) so he’s looking forward to meeting this mr. ness during back to school night

-it goes on like this for awhile, with abby raving about mr. ness and mike is just happy that his little sister seems to be doing better in school. the first time she comes home talking about these kids she hung out with at recess he practically cries

-back to school night is here and the first time mike sees this mr. ness he’s like abby u traitor you didnt tell me this man was exactly my type (he doesn’t actually tell her bc he never brings up his lovelife around her - not that he’s had much of one - but still isn’t this the type of things siblings know intrinsically)

-anyways they’re having the kids show their guardians around the classroom and their seats and everything and then mr. ness is explaining the way his class works and mike is totally paying attention. yup. he’s not distracted by those chocolate brown eyes at ALL

-so they’re waiting to do the one-on-ones with the teacher and mike crouches down next to abby and tries to be all chill “hey, abs. has mr. ness ever mentioned a partner or anything?” acting all nonchalant

-but abby sees right through him and is immediately like “he’s single! do u want me to put in good word for you?” and mikes like “NO i have no idea what ur talking about haha i just wanted to know bc it’s important to know that about ur teachers okay wait why are you smiling like that”

-(abby’s a little menace and already ships it)

-when it’s finally their turn mike is just chanting to himself “be normal. be normal. be normal” lmao

-but now that he’s sitting face to face with the teacher he notices that he has freckles and every chance he had at playing it cool goes out the window

-ness is telling him all about how well abby is doing in class and if there was anything he could do to make it easier for her in the classroom and abby’s just sitting there looking at mike internally screaming with a smile

-so she turns to her teacher and is like “you should get mike’s number just in case something comes up. he’ll probably think of some things later since he’s been taking care of me alone for awhile” (bc u know when kids do that things where they kinda trauma dump at the most random moments lmao)

-and ness at first refuses and is like “im sure email works just fine!” and abby’s like WHYY is he not just taking the bait and then she has like a lightbulb moment

-bc ness probably assumes like everyone else that mike is a single father and abby’s his daughter and abby’s like oh no how do i make this work

-so she goes full anya mode (for my spy x family watchers) and is like “im sure mike would appreciate having your number on hand! he’s a very protective older brother you see. taking care of his little sister must be hard. i’m sure being a big brother like him is hard so it’d be for his peace of mind. did i mention he’s my older brother”

-and ness also has a little bit of a crush already forming so he doesn’t catch the obvious set up and is instead distracted by the fact that the handsome guy in front of him is in fact NOT a single father so maybe he does have a chance wowow

-yup so they exchange numbers andddddd ill come back to this later i really need coffee

#do i know what grade abby is in?? no #do i even have a vague idea of how i could muddle the ages for this work? also no #i am literally jsut here what more do u want from me #yknow purple rotting michael when he done got scooped #thats what i feel like with the amount of brain rot that i have #im actually so mentally ill its insane #also i very specifically wait for someone else to post on the tag before i make another post #bc i ahve wayy too many thoughts on these two #fnaf #fnaf movie #kitty.twt #ness the waiter #securitywaiter #mike schmidt #mike x ness #fnaf ness #abby schmidt #i love abby being securitywaiter shipper no. 1

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nabinochu · 6 months

Text

I'm Fine

. ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

Y'all ever wish you had a Mammon irl to tell you it's all gonna be ok? Bc I sure as hell do. More comfort, are we surprised? I swear I have other ideas brewing that aren't just Sad™ lol

Characters: Mammon (Obey Me)

Genre: Hurt/ Comfort.

Warnings: Talk of depression/ dealing with mental illness. Slight swearing.

┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄

I can feel Mammon's presence behind me. He shuffles from one foot to the other, unsure how to approach until he seemingly can't hold back anymore.

"Hey, ya ok?

I can't break out of my trance, answering on autopilot.

"Yeah, m'fine."

I hear him grumble as he takes a couple of steps closer.

"Don't believe ya."

"M'fine."

"No. Ya ain't." He's standing next to me now. I can feel his concerned eyes bore into the side of me.

"What makes you say that?" I can't bring myself to look at him, knowing that if I do, I'll break immediately.

"Well, for starters, how long y've been brewin' an' stirrin' that coffee. Second, I've lost count of how many cups y've had today." He puts his hand over mine to stop me stirring the over-brewed coffee. I jump a little at the sudden contact.

"Third, we've barely been talkin'. All yer messages are super dry. And lastly," Mammon cups my face and makes me look at him. His eyes soften, though I don't miss how his expression falls a little when he takes me in.

"Those bags under yer eyes are lookin' damn heavy recently."

My breath hitches in my throat. Like a crooked hand creeping higher and higher and closing around my neck, I feel the lump forming and tightening. My eyes sting as it gets harder and harder not to crumble in Mammon's warmth. I try to stutter out some words, some hollow excuse to maintain the facade and ensure he wouldn't worry. But it's too late for that. I know he sees right through me. My chest burns. I can't find my breath. My eyes are everywhere except on Mammon as I try to fight the storm swirling in the pit of my stomach.

Pathetic. I tell myself. Weak. Burdensome. The brothers don't even like y-

"Hey! Look at me." Mammon grasps my shoulders and leans down to meet my eyes as if he could read my thoughts. "Doncha know? I love ya. So much."

A choked sob finally bubbles painfully from my throat, and my vision blurs with tears.

Mammon firmly pulls me to his chest, the front of his shirt becoming soaked instantly. I hear his heart thrumming against his chest, clearly fighting his nerves for my sake.

"Let it out. M'here." He sways us gently.

"It's ok if things're bad right now. But ya don't have to struggle alone. Let me carry some of the weight, kay? The Great Mammon is strong enough."

We stayed like this for some time until I had finally cried all I could. I feel numb, my head throbs. But I feel safe in Mammon's arms.

He shifts to rest his chin on top of my head.

"Wanna talk 'bout it?"

I think for a moment, trying to find my words. My voice is hoarse, barely a whisper.

"Sometimes, I just feel so sad. I can't explain it or describe it." I grip the material of his shirt.

"I'll be doing just fine. Then, the second I become aware that I'm doing fine, the darkness creeps back in. Sometimes, there are triggers. Other times, there aren't. I wish it made sense."

I feel Mammon's hand tracing patterns on my back as he listens.

"And sometimes, I think this is it; I've finally hit rock bottom. But then I find out there's a fucking basement."

He doesn't speak for a moment, seemingly searching his mind for the right thing to say.

"I'm....so sorry." He settles, letting out a breath he had been holding. "I wish I could take that pain away from ya."

I snake my arms around his waist and breathe in his scent. I turn my face to place a gentle kiss on his heart.

"You already do just by being around." I breathe. "You mean so much to me, Mams. More than you know. I can't imagine my life without you now." I croak out.

I feel him tense at my show of affection. He pulls me in tighter as if I would get snatched away from him if he let go, even for a second.

"W-well, of course! I'm yer first, after all!"

He takes a moment to gather himself and then speaks with sincerity.

"Yer my human. My one and only. I don't want to lose ya."

His voice becomes small.

"Can't lose ya."

"I'm sorry for worrying you."

"Nothin' to apologise for." He shakes his head. "Just stick around, yeah?" He pulls back just enough to meet my puffy eyes once more. I nod in agreement. He seems to consider something for a second, not entirely satisfied.

"Pinky Promise?" He holds his hand up to me, little finger extended.

I can't help the small smile that tugs at the corners of my mouth. Ah yes, the Avatar of Greed, the second strongest of the seven lords of the Devildom, who deals in pinky promises. My heart squeezes at the sight of the demon before me. My darkness seems to ease in this moment as I wrap my pinky tightly around his.

"Pinky Promise."

. ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

142 notes · View notes

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