#ANYWAY!!! WONDERFUL EILEEN<3

[forestofsprites]

eileen, my best friend eileen! you understand

[click for better quality + prints here!]

#you guys don't know how many versions of this i have in my gallery #it was a PROCESS #a whoooole process #i went at this so much differently than i usually do #which fucked w my confidence. and god knows that's slim pickings my friends #ANYWAY!!! WONDERFUL EILEEN<3 #i will be drawing eileen more. i have so many refs #i will get better!!!!! #eileen leahy #eileen leahy fanart #eileen leahy art #spn #supernatural #spn art #spn fanart #supernatural art #supernatural fanart #my art

[subzeroparade]

Im playing my first NG+ and it’s striking to me how bustling and alive Yarnam is while the sun is still up. The people scoff at you, outsider. The residents of Cathedral Ward are grateful, so grateful, to the church. You’re known as a hunter, smelled through the grime of beasts and blood and incense. You talk to someone; they respond with sanity. It’s so striking, to be part of a breathing world again, after the loneliness of the endgame after everyone is either gone or lost their minds, and the silence oppresses with its emptiness. Anyways. I can’t stop thinking about that relationship between Yarnam, its people, its powers, and you — the hunter. One of many. A slice of society. So many details stick out: the hunter chief emblem shows that hunting is an old tradition. Gilbert mentions that Odeon Tomb is in a more colorful part of town, and while you’re there, you can see how it’s more charred, from the Old Yarnam fire. A new lore video on the archeology of Yarnam analyzed the previous religion of the city, on its focus on motherhood. How base, and material, and bodily, this whole idea of divine ascension is. I saw a post on how Yarnam was possibly attempted to be evacuated— luggage and bottles of blood left everywhere, as if in a hurry. How few houses are occupied, how few people there are left— and despite Eileen’s assertion, there are a few left. Who here is the list one?

I so want to write about this — the relationship of the city to all of what’s going on. The perspective of a resident on these new foreign hunters. The betrayal of the church, sequestering itself beyond the Great Bridge. The way that this is just another hunt, we know how to do this. But it isn’t. We all know it isn’t.

I don’t know if I will espouse on this, but I love love love how you get into this in your Cainhurst execution fic. The tension between plebeian living and aspirational authority — its fascinating, especially in a place as fucked as this city.

Anyways. It’s 3 am. I think I’ve put my thoughts on a page. I hope to maybe elaborate of them further. But I wanted someone else to see them too. Thank you, for reading.

I wanted to actually share and respond to this because you’ve hit on some juicy stuff that I absolutely agree with. I’d never thought about the passage between endgame Yharnam and dusk Yharnam - which seems appropriately cyclical, if you think about it - but the difference, as you said, is stark. Even then, dusk Yharnam is still bathed in this sepia hue. It’s bleak, and grimy, and the air is full of smoke and soot and the smell of singed fur and gunpowder; the cries of beasts and the sounds of men having their last mindless hurrah before they too succumb. It’s “bustling”, but it’s still hellish, and grim. One of the reasons I love writing pre-Church and Church heyday is because if you rewind enough, you may, with a bit of effort, picture Yharnam as something other than depressingly dried-blood brown - green, even, with new marble, and polished white and yellow cobblestones. Glass and iron and slate and avenues lined with flowering trees, and the sounds of market and the clatter of carriages and all these things that become the drone of a lively city rather than the prelude to something coming to kill you. Surely there were bleaker sides of Yharnam, even in its heyday, as with most major cities - but the threats are different. Night is different. The smells are different. Everything is a little less stained, in all possible senses of the word. It’s also such a fascinating contrast to wonder how long people sat idly with the Church’s assurances before they decided “okay, that’s it, we leave tonight.” It seems like there might have been an event or two that triggered an exodus, or attempted flight by the cityfolk - and most didn’t make it out, as you rightly note, based on the scattered remnants of objects clearly intended for travel. It’s interesting to mull over what event(s) might have triggered that tipping point, for the people to finally ignore the Church and its Hunters’ calls to calmly lock their doors, and instead try their luck on the road. It’s certainly good fodder for a fic.   

Thanks for the kind words about my work - I’ll deal with some late-Church timeline soon enough, especially in two upcoming fics. But your point about the “perspective of a resident on new foreign hunters [and] the betrayal of the Church” is a really nice prompt, and you should write about it!

Hope you don’t mind me sharing your 3am rant lmao but I appreciated it. I don’t have any worthwhile WIPs to share atm, so please accept this Bloodborne-specific corner of a collaborative whiteboard session from a while ago (full disclosure idk why the elden ring crab is there but enjoy).  

#ask #bloodborne #lore #back to the ask box sorry for the wait #the world's smallest depiction of rom #the world's most accurate depiction of Kos and the orphan

[droughtofapathy]

The Gilded Age's Broadway Divas: Susan Blane (Laura Benanti)

Newly widowed Susan Blane has one purpose on this show, and apparently it's to get railed by a younger man and then get chased off by his mother and have her heart broken. Again. And then we never see her again. The end. Justice for Susan.

Now, I will preface this by saying that Laura Benanti lands outside my scope of interest--she's a little young for my tastes. However, I've always been amused and delighted by her performances, and I appreciate how raunchy she is, even if the quirkyness can be a bit...much at times. Laura is a five-time Tony nominee who won in 2008 for her role as Louise in Gypsy alongside Patti LuPone.

Starting off young, Laura Benanti made her Broadway debut at eighteen as the understudy to the late great Rebecca Luker's Maria in The Sound of Music, and eventually replaced her. She's had roles as Cinderella in Into the Woods (2002), Candela in Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, and Eileen Sherwood in the Encores! Wonderful Town opposite Donna Murphy, our beloved Mrs. Astor.

#1: "Wouldn't it be Loverly?" My Fair Lady (2018)

Lincoln Center is soprano territory. As one of the classical soprano dying breeds, Laura took over the role of Eliza Doolittle from Lauren Ambrose in the recent Broadway Revival. Her Eliza was older than most (Laura was on the cusp of forty when the took the role), and a delight, I must say. This show is, of course, a classic, and as such is dated like a classic. The production did attempt to give Eliza more agency, and it seemed to go over fine.

As Susan Blane spends most of her time in the white clothing of Newport, I just kept thinking about the Ascot Gavotte the entire time. The ladies of Newport would fit right in at the racetrack.

Fellow soprano Kelli O'Hara has also played this role in a different Lincoln Center theater back in 2007.

#2: "Model Behavior," Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (2011)

A critical failure despite its stellar cast, this show closed in less than three months, but nevertheless earned Laura a Tony nomination and a Drama Desk. Watching this masterclass of a breakdown, you can see why. Set in 80s Spain, the show features Candela, played by Laura, who's freaking out because her romantic interest might be a terrorist. But other than that, he's perfect. She sure knows how to pick 'em...

Tension behind the scenes between leading lady Sherie Rene Scott and Diva Patti LuPone made things a little...well. Anyway.

#3: Laura Benanti & The Skivvies - Passion Massion (2014)

So, I'm gonna be honest, I was going to go with a different Skivvies video, but then I saw Sexy Fosca, and I am baffled, horrified, and delighted.

The Skivvies is a hilarious cabaret group that performs, as you can imagine, in their underwear, and they have guest singers come on, also dressed in lingerie and other underthings. Most of their guest singers are working theatre actors, but sometimes we get Laura Benanti. She was a Skivvies regular for a time, and has a collection of comedic clips you can all enjoy on your own time.

#4: "Vanilla Ice Cream," She Loves Me (2015)

Broadway sopranos pass around roles like hot potatoes. Kelli O'Hara played Amalia Balash in the 2001 concert, and while some members of the cast transferred to Broadway five years later, Kelli was already in The King and I, and since Broadway has like four sopranos of this age that they rotate around, enter Laura Benanti. Though the show and her role was largely overshadowed by a little show called Hamilton that season, the production has a PBS proshot I'd recommend watching.

She Loves Me is yet another adaptation of an early 30s Hungarian play that was also the inspiration for You've Got Mail, so if you've seen that, you know the plot of this. (Side note: Gilded Age's Katie Finneran had a small role as Maureen, the Nanny who runs off with the kids' mother(?) I've never seen it, and that plot wasn't in the musical.)

#5: "So Many People," Saturday Night (2010)

If you thought we were going to get through Laura Benanti without a Sondheim, guess again. While Audra McDonald and Donna Murphy were part of the Ladies in Red, Laura Benanti instead gave us the other oft-sung cabaret number of Saturday Night in the Joanna Gleason dress, only reversed in color. Look it up and you'll see what I mean.

Laura was the last person to perform before the Ladies in Red segment, and thus isn't often remembered. But I remember. (Incidentally, "I Remember" is the song she sang for the Sondheim 90th.)

LINK TO MASTERPOST

#the gilded age #susan blane #laura benanti #sondheim #she loves me #my fair lady #women on the verge of a nervous breakdown #broadway #musical theatre

[mrcowboydeanwinchester]

what abour that post didnt imply eileen was deaf lmao

sure thing! as your friendly neighbourhood hard of hearing person who is incredibly tired of watching eileen magically be able to understand everyone around her in situations where i, a person whose ability to hear is better than her's, would struggle, let me walk you through the noticable issues i found in that artwork! (original post itself isn't the problem.) also need to clarify that obviously i don't intend to hate on the art or artist at ALL . i truly have so much respect it's a wonderful little comic. below are just some things to think about in regards to including good deaf rep <3

as has been pointed out to me eileen's hand appears to be moving which suggests signing. cool! but dean does not understand asl and does not appear to be signing himself so this does not benefit eileen being able to understand him which is my main concern. seeing as she is the one who is deaf

they're side on from each other. not ideal for lipreading as dean's lips will not be directly clear to eileen (lipreading is a pretty subjective artform anyway and eileen's reliance on it is the show is not realistic)

they are backlit and walking into a dark room - again, unideal lighting for lipreading as visibility is lower and facial expression/body languages cues are less obvious

i don't mean to say that the post doesn't imply eileen is deaf, but more so that i glance at it and see two hearing people having an audible conversation. as a hard of hearing person i can tell this wasn't drawn with much deaf awareness in mind

and like, i get that deaf awareness and eileen's deafness is not The Point of that comic. truly! it's crack and it's cute! but it would be nice to be more than an afterthought, you know? so yeah. lmao indeed

#hey anon you came at this with such a weirdly aggressive vibe. #apologies that i therefore responded in such a way. but also. there were other ways to phrase this #and this is just such a common issue around spnblr i'm so tired of it. let eileen be deaf and let it change the way we write and draw #and comminucate around her. #eileen leahy #deafnatural #ola answers

[wishhouse-in-your-soul]

for the character ask game....... eileen for all of them :-D ? or just whichever you want hehe

(Rolls up sleeves)

🏳️‍🌈lgbt+ headcanon: Hell yeah she's bisexual... to be honest, I think she fluctuates a bit between bi and pan but labels herself as bi because she likes the flag's colors more

💌fluffy headcanon: She likes to bake. ☺️ I don't think she's bad at cooking--she just doesn't have much fun with it, but she thinks baking is fun and likes to bake for people. (Richard will Not Tell Her when his birthday is, much to her dismay)

💔angsty headcanon: So uuuh those traumatic memories of almost dying and limping around hellworld while getting possessed aren't going to leave particularly quickly. Her method of dealing with that trauma is self harm, namely digging her fingernails into her shoulders or arms until they draw blood.

🧸 hurt/comfort headcanon: My fetish is basically 'what if characters were sad and hugged through their trauma' and 20/21 is kinda perfect for that. >:) Also give me some tender scar touching and I become sickos.jpg

🪀silly headcanon: Unironically loves Garfield.

💤sleep headcanon: She's the big spoon >:3

✨a ship i like with this character: huh I wonder

🔪a ship i Don't like with this character: Ehhh there's nothing that I passionately hate but I only get warm fuzzies for 20/21

🎃something i think they're afraid of: Hates walking anywhere while alone in the dark u-u

📦overall feelings about them: I love her I kiss her mwah

📢favorite thing about them in canon: Archeology line! We love a woman in STEM. It's only mentioned once, sure, but that's cool...

🧨least favorite thing about them in canon: Nurse outfit, lolol. Or rather, I hate that the two female characters in the game get sexy alt outfits while Henry doesn't (I think Cynthia's worse though given her lack of screen time). If Henry had a sexy outfit too I wouldn't complain. 😤

💬favorite line they've said: One of the lines she says while following you is (something like) 'This hurts too much to be a dream, and I can see you so clearly.' and I just?? My heart?? Hug ur escort mission, Henry...

🔔unpopular opinion: I like her? dhsjfd That doesn't seem so unpopular now but it sure was a decade ago! I get frustrations with escort missions but she's sweet and since Henry's more quiet and reserved, having someone who is more talkative tagging along makes the second half of the game less repetitive.

🔊a song that reminds me of them: Admittedly, a lot of it is just that this song came out around the first time I played SH4, but Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men.

You're gone, gone, gone away I watched you disappear All that's left is a ghost of you Now we're torn, torn, torn apart There's nothing we can do Just let me go, we'll meet again soon Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around I'll see you when I fall asleep ...And I mean, it's a bop.

📝misc thoughts/headcanons (you can specify something not on this list or i can say whatever comes to mind first!) ...Is it canon that she's supposed to be bottom heavy because I could've sworn I read that somewhere but I haven't been able to find it again. Anyway she's a thick legged queen.

#radrezi #thanks for asking! #shhhh you didn't notice me forgetting one of those questions shhhh

[infipretty]

HEY KASSS OMGG SO HAPPY THAT YOU ARE HOSTING FOR ANOTHER GAME!! my day just got better! I kid you not you lighted up my mood <3 okay soo I choose the first future spouse (he/him) first impression of me. my nickname is eileen and my favourite placement of mine is the venus sign {okay is that right? I had to googled it up 😭 if that's wrong then, capricorn? I AM SO CLUELESS}. IF YOU DON'T MIND I WOULD LOVE TO GIVE YOU A LITTLE EXCHANGE FOR A BIT OF INTUITION PRACTICE FOR ME!

the exchange:

kas for your future partner I KID YOU NOT I JUST SAW THAT LITTLE MEET-CUTE SCENE IN ROM-COM. I don't know why but I can see the two of you dress really nicely? like your future partner took a second look and amazed by your presence (SO CUTEEE). I see them making the first move, they would make a fool out of them lmaoo BUT IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY. and you shaking your head like "this person is MAD". I see you both would talk endlessly and get to know each other better {can see them as someone who is a good listener btw 👀}. YEAH THEY ARE DEFINITELY GOING TO HEAD OVER HEELS FOR YOU LMAO. okay but I just saw another vision either that you two dress really nicely or you two dress in relax attire. yeah either those two. they would be so excited to actually get to know you better themselves other than hearing the stories from you!!!

sorry if my exchange is a short one or I didn't channel in their words BUT IT WAS FUN NONETHELESS. I HOPE SOMETHING RESONATE THOOO LET ME KNOW PLEASEEEE

once again thank you so much for hosting such an amazing game (FOR THE THOUSAND TIMES) and hoping I can join in and I would be very much delighted<3

[SEVEN]

HI BESTIE @eileenblog ! <3 So good to see youuu. That's was very very sweet of you, I'm happy your mood got better! Also, by 'favourite placement ' I meant the placement that you like the most in your chart, for eg - your venus sign or your sun sign or the house in which your mercury is etc. Anyways, Thankyou for joining my game and the exchange!

Feedback - I always get to hear this, tha dressed up, instant connection and endless conversation thing. This resonates completely tbh, that's all i have to say. 10/10. Loved this so much. Your intuition is growing so well, nurture it! Thankyouuuu.

「 𝟎𝟎𝟓 - Your Future spouse's first impression of you in their words 」

♡ Cards Pulled : The Chariot, 10 of cups, 8 of cups, page of swords and ten of wands.

I had heard about you beforehand, I had noticed your name coming up here and there and I more so than often found myself wondering who are these people even mentioning. I never seen you before with my own eyes, I didn't know how you looked or who exactly you were, all I had knew about you was that endearing name of yours that'd later become my favourite name. You see, your reputation preceded you and it still does. The first time I saw you I didn't think of you much, don't get me wrong, you had a sweet look but your energy was kind of too badass? At that time, I didn't think our paths would cross later and look, how wrong I was. Since I had heard your name so many times, I had an image of you in my mind - somebody sharp and intelligent and popular? I don't know what I was expecting when it came to your looks but you exceeded my expectations anyway. Even though we had never talked before, looking at you for the first time had me thinking that you must be ardent and diligent . You had a stern look on your face, confident some might say but your energy seemed so welcoming and sweet and also, competitive? The more I got to know you and saw you around, my first impression of started to build up. Where do I even begin, you came across like a driven force who's certain of her ambition and goal, your words could kill and that much I knew instantaneously and you had knowledge about most of the topics as if you were a walking encyclopaedia *sighs*. It seemed to me as if you were in your bubble, driving yourself away from grief and disappointments towards success and happiness, and your passion towards your success and life was remarkable (and even now it is). I fr thought that if I were in an argument, I should definitely have you on my side because your words?? Goddamn. You didn't smile a lot but gosh everytime you smiled and giggled, you looked so Beautiful. I somehow knew I wanted to know you more than just your name and I'm so glad that I did. You felt like a shot of expresso that can easily light somebody's day and like the first ray of sunshine after a thunderstorm. Always the focused and responsible, always the one who spread smiles, always on top of her game, sometimes bitchy but ever so adorable eileen, that was my first impression of you.

[theirlovewasreal]

#TheirLoveWasReal SPN Fandom Challenge

Fanworks, Fundraising, and Focusing on Representation

✨ February 13th-20th, but especially February 13th during the kickoff so we can trend on Twitter! Remember to share the fundraiser wildly especially during that trend, too.

🌈The kickoff party is all day, but peak trending times to aim for if possible are 3-5PM EST and 7-10PM EST.

Follow this blog for more information, updates, answers to FAQs, and prompt inspiration throughout the challenge! And feel free to share this graphic anywhere and everywhere, including Twitter :)

Links: AO3 collection  |  SPLC fundraiser  | Event Masterpost | Fundraising

Image ID for the informational graphic is under the read more link:

[IMAGE ID /

Informational graphic:

The Destiel handprint next to an “I love you” sign language symbol, on top of a rainbow watercolor splash.

#TheirLoveWasReal (in rainbow watercolor font)

SPN Fandom Challenge

Fanworks, Fundraising, and Focusing on Representation

Kickoff trend: February 13, 2021

All day, but especially 3-5PM EST and 7-10PM EST to trend

Are you upset about the erasure of Castiel and Eileen? Do you want to spread love with a wonderful community of fans that deserved better? We’re flooding #TheirLoveWasReal to celebrate Dean/Castiel  and Sam/Eileen-–and their love that we know was real. Come party with us so we can trend worldwide!

Fanwork Challenge

Art • Poetry • Fic • Music • Videos • GIFs • Essays • Memes • & more!

We want to see EVERYTHING Destiel and Saileen shippers are capable of! The ultimate goal with 

this project is to spread joy, positivity, and awareness of the love these characters share. 

We’ll have fun–and make sure the CW knows we aren’t going anywhere, of course.

Prompt calendar: February 13th-20th

Each day of the “calendar” is numbered on a colored watercolor circle with a corresponding icon illustrating the day’s theme.

13: Carry on: Canonverse

Red circle with anti-possession tattoo

14: Discovery

Orange circle with map

15: Liminal Space

Yellow circle with text chat bubble

16: Noir

Green circle with detective silhouette

17: Steampunk

Blue circle with gears

18: The Sea

Purple circle with a water icon

19: Myth

Light pink circle with a book and stars to suggest magic

20: Road Trip

Mauve circle with the Impala

Submissions close February 27th

ao3.org/collections/TheirLoveWasReal

These prompts are very open for you to decide what they mean to you. Alternate Universe? Canonverse content related to the theme? Anything goes. If you miss a specific prompt/day, don’t worry. Post anyway! This is just a guideline to try to keep themes going. And remember: you can post art/videos on AO3 too.

Fundraiser

splc.donordrive.com/campaign/TheirLoveWasReal

In the name of love and representation, we’re raising money for the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), an American nonprofit legal advocacy organization. They focus on victims of discrimination, including the LGBTQ+ and disabled communities. Share widely, and remember: every little bit counts!

Follow on tumblr for updates and prompt inspiration: theirlovewasreal

/ END IMAGE ID]

#supernatural #SPNfamily #destiel #saileen #deancas #SPN #dean/castiel #sam/eileen #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #eileen leahy #representation #fandom campaign #fanfic challenge #fanfic prompts #TheirLoveWasReal

[myaimistrue]

happy three month anniversary to the old men <3 here’s a 1.3k piece of irredeemable domestic fluff.

you can read this on my ao3 here.

Cas wakes slow. 

He stirs for the first time when light is first tinging the horizon, hours before he’d normally wake up, because Dean is having a nightmare. Nightmares are unfortunately a common occurrence in he and Dean’s bed—both of them have more than enough trauma to draw from. They’re lucky enough that they rarely have them at the same time, so one of them is usually able to help the other. It’s a small grace, Cas thinks. He sometimes wonders if Jack has any hand in it.

This nightmare, fortunately, seems to be one of the less outwardly intense ones—no violent thrashing, no screaming or sobbing. Dean’s lying very still, his fists clenched tightly at the blankets, muttering intelligibly. Then, he lets out a low, desperate whine that makes Cas’s stomach turn. He knows all of the things that Dean could be seeing and reliving right now all too well, and no matter how many times he sees Dean go through it, it’s still sickening.

Cas smooths a hand over Dean’s forehead, murmuring words of comfort and love. Cas rarely wishes he was still an angel, but in moments like these, his inability to take away pain and soothe fear is near devastating.

It doesn’t take long for Dean’s movements to steady, for him to go quiet. Cas continues to run his hand through Dean’s hair as he slowly comes down from the nightmare. Dean blinks his eyes open, and he’s barely awake when he sees Cas looking down at him. Cas doubts he’s sure what’s going on, but Dean smiles at him anyway.

“You were having a nightmare,” Cas says by way of explanation, his hand gentle on Dean’s face.

“M’alright now.” Dean’s voice is gravelly from sleep, slurring a little. He tugs Cas back down to lay beside him and pulls him close, his body warm and soft. “Go back to sleep, Cas.”

There’s no argument to be had there. Cas lets Dean tilt his forehead down against Cas’s chest, and then he presses a kiss to the top of his head. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Dean mutters.

And then Cas is asleep again. He dreams of very little but Dean’s arms, Dean’s sleep-worn voice, Dean’s instinctive smile up at him. 

Cas stirs again when morning sunshine has filled their bedroom, and Dean is carefully extricating himself from Cas’s arms. Dean dodges Cas’s attempts to keep him there in bed with a laugh and says, “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll be right back.” Cas is tempted to fight him on it more, but the bed is so comfortable and warm, and Cas is decidedly not a morning person—he sinks immediately back into sleep.

Cas wakes for the third and final time at the smell of coffee and the sound of their bedroom door creaking open. Dean had offered to fix it when they moved into the house, but Cas had both sensed his wariness and shared it. Their home is warded all to hell, and there isn’t much left out there that wants to tangle with either of them, but it’s not like an extra warning of anyone entering their bedroom is hurting anybody. So the door creaks. Cas doesn’t mind.

Cas just lays there with an arm over his eyes to block out the light, feels the bed settle beside him as Dean sits down, can hear the sigh Dean lets out as he relaxes back against the headboard. The coffee smells wonderful—Dean always makes it extra-strong, just the way Cas likes it.

“Morning, Cas.”

Cas drops his arm, and looks up at Dean. He can’t stop the slow smile from spreading across his face—even now, after everything, after all of it, he still can’t quite believe he gets to have this. That Dean is in this bed, that Dean makes coffee for him in the mornings and looks down at him with that warm glint of green.

“Good morning, Dean.” Cas sits up beside him and takes the mug he knows is his. Dean always makes his coffee in the mug Eileen bought a few months ago, the one with the bumblebees patterned across it. He takes a sip before he does anything else. As always, it’s perfect. “Thank you.”

Dean grins, and takes a sip of his own coffee. “No problem, man.”

They sit in silence for a long moment, drinking their coffee and enjoying the quiet together. Dean opened their window, Cas notices, and there’s a slight breeze that rustles the gauzy white curtains Cas barely convinced Dean to hang in here. When he takes a deep breath, he can smell the lake, just a short walk from their back porch. Maybe they can take the boat out today, he thinks. Cas doesn’t like fishing the way Dean does, but he does like to bring a book and sit across from him, enjoying the peace and the sunshine. They like to pass entire days that way—if they remember to pack sandwiches.

“Whatcha thinking, Cas?” Dean asks.

“Do you want to take the boat out today?”

“Sure,” Dean says easily. He sets his mug aside and shifts toward Cas. “First things first, though.”

He slips his arms around Cas’s middle and kisses him, long and slow and sweet. They both taste like coffee.

“Let me—” Cas pulls away briefly to carefully set his mug down on the bedside table. They’ve had a few spills before, and all it does is upset Dean and send him into a huff about getting coffee stains out of white sheets—plus, this way, Cas can get his hands on his husband. He slides his arms around Dean, one hand rucking up under his shirt to stroke the small of his back, and says, “That’s better, isn’t it?”

“Much better.” Dean wastes no time leaning in to kiss him again.

Time goes syrupy, stretching warmly as they make out on their bed “like a coupla teenagers,” as Dean always says when they do this. The mornings after nightmares, especially if they were about Hell, Dean doesn’t want to have sex. He might want to later tonight, but he might not, either. Cas understands, and it doesn’t bother him. They’ve got time.

“Know what today is?” Dean says as Cas presses featherlight kisses to his cheek.

“What?”

“Three months since you made an honest man outta me.”

Cas pauses and pulls back enough to look Dean in the eye. “It’s the fourteenth?”

“Yep.” Dean smiles. “Time flies, huh?”

“It does,” Cas says. “Sorry I didn’t remember.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Don’t apologize. Three months isn’t a real anniversary or anything, I’m just…” And then he almost looks embarrassed. Cas watches with fascinated adoration as Dean’s cheeks pinken a little. “I don’t know, it’s just nice to think about. That we’re still here. That everything’s still good and everyone’s still safe.” He smiles, his smallest one, the one that Cas has only been lucky enough to see since they’ve been together like this—if Cas could ever have a favorite of Dean’s smiles, this one might be it. “It’s been a good three months, Cas.”

Cas smiles too. He kisses Dean again, so chaste that it’s barely anything but the touch of their lips. “I’m very glad I’m your husband.”

“Yeah,” Dean says softly. “Yeah, me too, baby.”

Later today, they’ll take the boat out. At this rate, it’ll probably be after lunch before they can even get out of bed, so they’ll make it an afternoon adventure. While they’re out there, Dean might tell Cas what he dreamt of. He might not. And later, Dean will cook dinner while Cas sits on the counter and listens to him tell stories Cas has already heard before. They’ll watch a movie. Cas will sit out on the porch and talk to Jack while Dean checks in on Sam and Eileen. They’ll go to bed together, and tomorrow morning, they’ll wake up together.

Three months, Cas thinks. They live uncertain lives, but he’s willing to bet the next three will be just as good.

#rambleoncas #userzaddy #holmesemrys #gardenercas #offbeattraxx #kashmircastiel #del's writing #deancas #destiel #deancas fic #destiel fanfic #deancas fanfiction #spn fanfiction

[tibbinswrites]

Day 3 - Rainbows

They were everywhere. Plastered in shop windows, strung up across the street, at every booth and stall. It seemed like everyone they passed was rainbow-coloured in some kind of way. Clothing, bags, hair, even beards. Flags waved proudly above and around them. People were smiling, laughing, kissing, holding hands. Like Dean. He clenched on so tightly to Cas’ hand that he almost felt the bones grind beneath skin. He expected Cas to say something, but he didn’t, so Dean held on.

It was his first pride. At forty-one years old he was at an event that was full of young people who’d already figured themselves out. Sam (with glitter on his face) looked down at him with a soft expression.

“We can go, if it’s too much.” he said quietly. Whatever was showing on Dean’s face was apparently so pathetic that Sam didn’t have the heart to mock him.

It was too much, and Dean wanted to go. He wanted the quiet of the bunker, of the Dean-cave, where he understood how everything worked. There, neither Sam, Cas or Jack cared that he was broken. They loved him regardless, and Cas let Dean love him too, in a way that he hadn’t thought he was allowed to.

Jack, immediately distracted by the colours and sounds, rushed off towards the nearest stall, chatting animatedly with the… guy, girl? Person, person behind it, who had a multicoloured mohawk and a yellow, white, purple and black striped shirt. They looked briefly taken-aback at Jack’s overly-forward approach (and probably thousand questions), but responded just as eagerly. Jack was beaming. Eileen (with her own glittered face) followed him after a moment and Sam turned to look with a soft smile before turning back to Dean, his ‘whatever Dean needs’ face replacing it.

“I’m fine.” Dean lied, hoping that his shirt was thick enough to hide the sweat he could feel building down his back and under his arms. “Besides, Jody’s brood will be here soon, it’ll be good to see them.”

Sam paused for a moment but nodded. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“That’s what Cas is for.” Dean muttered.

Sam’s smile was fleeting but warm. Eileen called his name and Sam turned to see his fiancee wink at him, holding a free string of condoms. Sam flushed red and went to join her, pressing a kiss to her glittery cheek and signing something back which made her laugh.

Jack was darting from stall to stall, apparently interrogating everyone, but in such a disarming, truly curious way that nobody seemed to be taking any offence.

Cas remained by Dean, letting him crush his hand, standing stock-still barely inside the cordoned off entrance.

His mouth felt dry and he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t belong here. Everyone else looked so comfortable. There were couples everywhere, of all kinds, thruples too. There was even a string of six that all kept trading kisses and fond looks to each other. Even those on their own looked relaxed. Either waiting for friends or making new ones.

There were drag queens in the most flamboyant, ridiculous and amazing costumes. Huge feather boas, sequined everything and more glitter that Dean had ever owned (which was, admittedly, not much) on every exposed inch of skin.

“How about we go get a burger?” Cas said after a while, pointing at a food truck that looked a little quieter than most of the other, closer, places.

Realising that he’d spent a good long while lost in his own panic, not moving, he figured he should do something other than loiter by the entrance. This was Cas’ day too and he probably wanted to go enjoy himself with everyone else.

“Yeah,” he said, so, his feet feeling like lead, they made their way over to the truck and got a burger and bottle of water each. There were a couple of park benches set up nearby, so they sat there, next to each other, and ate. Letting go of Cas’ hand was more difficult than he’d expected. It had taken him months to get comfortable with the idea of holding Cas’ hand in public, weeks more to get comfortable with the practice. Cas winced as the pressure was finally released. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Cas shook his hand out before digging into his burger. Between mouthfuls, he went on, “We all convinced you to come here because we thought it would be good for you to break down some of the stigmas you’ve held for years about why you can’t be like one of these people,” he gestured around them, “but I don’t think any of us ever thought to ask if you were ready. This is clearly difficult for you. I’m sorry we pressured you into it. If you want to just sit here and wait for Claire and everyone to come before heading back to the bunker for dinner, that’s perfectly okay. None of us are going to judge you. This is a big experience and we’ll take it at your pace.”

“I love you.” Dean said immediately. That was his gut reaction to a lot of things Cas said, and if Dean had learned anything over the past year, it was that Cas always appreciated hearing it. Even now Cas’ eyes crinkled warm, and the edge of his mouth curled up.

“I love you too.”

They finished their burgers in silence and Dean, bolstered a little by Cas’ reassurance, began to really look around at what few booths he could see from where they sat. One of them was for struggles with high school, another was selling flags, another was about the history of Pride. He was curious about that one, he admitted. He didn’t know much about this community he was supposedly a part of. The kind of community that was so vastly different from the one he’d been raised in. A community that John had scoffed at, disrespected, with only Dean to hear him most of the time. But shifting his gaze from the stalls to the people, he had to admit that it was less overwhelmingly rainbow than he’d first thought. There were people in biker jackets and boots, people his age looking similarly nervous, without an angel of humanity to hold their hand. A teenager who looked close to tears carefully glanced around before darting into the high school booth. There were people on their own, some with an air of defiance, others completely comfortable, still others with a cloud of sadness over their heads; here, but with no family who could, or would, join them.

It was an odd thing to take comfort in, the pain of others in this place of joy and self-love, but this more than anything reminded him that they were all just people. People with their own struggles and burdens. People came to Pride anyway, either in defiance of everything that tried to tell them to disappear, or to find comfort in those with similar stories. He wondered how many people out there had fathers who forced them away from their family to try and ‘fix’ them; he wondered how many were in their forties and only just now ready to admit that maybe they weren’t the person their father had wanted them to be, that that person actually went against the values they’d been taught, and the ones they’d figured out for themselves. He was so used to feeling alone in this aspect of his life that it hadn’t even occurred to him that there would be others. He saw a man who must have been in his eighties holding his partner’s hand and brandishing a sign with fervour. Never too old to come out, and he couldn’t help but smile. He nudged Cas and pointed. “Guess that applies to you too, huh? And I think I’m slow. It took you millennia.”

Cas smiled at the men and then shook his head. “It took me millennia to find you,” he said pointedly. “Gender and sexuality was not something I ever thought about before. They don’t mean much to me. And it’s fascinating to see a celebration that both says ‘these things don’t define us’ and ‘these things are important’. It’s all about being comfortable with yourself and fighting for the world to learn to be comfortable with you too.”

“Kind of the meaning of pride, I suppose.”

“Whoever said that was a sin was sorely mistaken.”

“I mean, Pride of the seven deadly was a huge asshole.”

“Hubris is not the same as pride. I’ve always thought that sin should be renamed.”

“Take it up with Chuck,” Dean said with a grin which Cas returned.

“Thankfully, he has no more say in it than I do.”

“Let’s go look in that history booth.” Dean said suddenly, already standing and holding his hand out for Cas to take. Research was always the best first step after all. And if it was right next to the stall selling pink, purple and blue pins, then that was just pure coincidence.

#suptober21 #day 3 #rainbows #pride #destiel #supernatural #fanfic

[windsource]

Heyyy suggestions to write for Jack's birthday: all 3 of his dads try to bake him a cake separatedly (maybe they're bickering about who would make the best cake maybe they just have communication issues as usual and no one knows who was in charge of the cake maybe they just think he deserves all the cakes maybe) and obviously the cakes turn out to be three completely chaotic catastrophes, but Jack loves them anyway😊💞

It started, as most competitions do between Sam and Dean, with a dare.

Because Jack’s last birthday cake had gone...”not the Best,” Dean declared the evening before Jack’s fourth birthday that this year’s cake would be better. Sam had scoffed, lightheartedly claimed he could have Dean beat with his eyes closed, and so the fun began after Dean took the jab a little too seriously. They’d both make a cake, and Jack could decide whose “won” after they were done.

What they didn’t know, however, was that Cas was making one too.

Sam had headed to Eileen’s place (which Dean claimed was cheating, since she would help), and Dean took to the Bunker’s kitchen. Which left Cas with no oven or materials, so he picks up his phone and dials Claire to get assistance.

“Uh...hi?” she asks, “What’s up, something happen?”

“No, I just...wanted to...um. Jody has a kitchen, yes?”

There’s a pause, but then Claire says, “Yeah, like most houses do. Why?”

“Can I come over?” 

He hears Claire mumble a, “Can Cas come visit?” over her shoulder, and then into the speaker, “Jody says yeah, but—”

“Great.” The line disconnects, and then Cas appears outside Jody’s front door, pushing his finger on the pad to ring the doorbell.

Claire still has her phone up to her ear when she lets him in, rolling her eyes to mask her smile. “Jesus. Could’ve at least told me you were gonna do that.”

“I apologize,” Cas says, and then urgently, “Where’s the kitchen?”

Claire points and closes the door behind him. “That way.”

He follows her directions and finds Jody leaning against the counter, arms crossed. Donna sits behind her at the kitchen table, sporting a playful smile.

“Well! Cas, long time no see,” Jody says, coming towards him to envelop him in a hug. “Claire mentioned you visiting, but I didn’t think it’d be so soon.”

Claire brushes past them, muttering, “Neither did I,” before taking a seat at the table next to Donna. 

“Sorry for bursting in on you like this,” Cas says once Jody lets go. “I just need to use your kitchen.”

Jody and Donna exchange a look. 

“Someone in trouble?” Donna asks, suddenly serious, “We have some spell ingredients, but not many. What’s—"

“No, nothing like that,” Cas hurries to say, “It’s Jack’s birthday today. I need to bake him a cake.”

There’s another stretch of silence, and then Claire’s laughter covered up by a hand to her mouth. Donna gently smacks her shoulder.

“Sorry,” she says, “but you? Eldritch terror...baking a cake? Why can’t Sam and Dean do it? Oh god, that thought might actually be funnier.”

Cas sighs as Donna mumbles to reprimand Claire, and takes a seat beside Jody on the island. 

“You’re right, it’s just...Sam and Dean are both competing to make Jack a cake for his birthday today, and I felt I should do the same, but I...I’ve never done this before. I need help.”

Jody smiles, despite Claire’s fading laugh, and rests a hand on his shoulder. “Well, Cas. You came to the right place. Come on.” 

She grabs the keys from a hook next to one of the kitchen cabinets, and swipes her coat from the chair next to Cas. 

“Where are we going?” he asks, standing and following nonetheless. Claire flicks his shoulder as she passes to head for the front door. 

“Grocery store, genius,” she says, and before he knows it, the four of them are cramped in Donna’s much too small car, with Cas wondering how they manage it with Patience and Alex and Kaia as well.

“Where are they, anyway?” he asks once they make it to the store parking lot. 

“Alex is working, Patience is out with friends, and Kaia’s home sleeping,” Claire explains. “What about Jack?”

“With Garth until the cakes are done,” Cas says easily. He’d been their first choice for babysitter, not wanting to bother Jody and Donna when they had all the girls on their hands, but... “Maybe next time, he can hang out with you? I’d like for him to get to know you better,” Cas tries, pushing around the shopping cart as Jody points out ingredients and Donna sets them in the cart, “he really looks up to you.”

Claire scoffs. “He barely knows me. Besides, there’s nothing to look up to. Except height-wise, I guees.”

Cas smiles fondly at her, reminded of Dean telling him something similar plenty of times. “Sure there is, but I won’t push it. You’re welcome at the Bunker always, just...incase you were wondering.”

She grins, but hides it well. “Thanks.”

The trip goes by quickly, after they decide on how Cas wants to decorate the cake, and they all make it back to Jody’s in one piece. 

The actual mixing of ingredients if easy enough (though Claire ends up brushing flour out of Cas’ hair), but the waiting periods are atrocious. Cas spends them by catching up with Claire and Kaia, when she eventually wakes, and it seems like no time at all once the timer beeps. 

They pull it out of the oven, wait impatiently again for it to cool, and by that time Patience is home from visiting friends. The six of them work on the frosting and decorations (although Cas insists on doing the lettering himself), and Alex’s steady hand arrives just in time to slide the cake into a box so that it’s safe and preserved for Jack’s birthday tomorrow. 

By the time it’s all done, Cas is thoroughly enjoying himself, and the company the girls all provided him with. He bids them goodbye, each with a powerful hug that makes him smile, but Claire stops him just before he’s out the door.

“You’re forgetting this,” she says, handing him a yellow envelope. It has ‘Jack’ written across the front in boxy blue lettering that he knows to be Claire’s. Cas takes it, and Claire pushes her hands into the back pockets of her jeans.

“Snagged it while we were at the store...we uh, we all signed it,” she says. “I’m...looking forward to coming over, if the offer still stands.”

Cas nods, a grateful smile spreading across his lips. “Always.” 

Claire rolls her eyes, but nudges Cas’ shoulder in good humor. “Good. Now go win that contest, you goober.”

Of the three, Cas’ cake is the most put together, but that isn’t saying much. Dean’s at least stands up by itself (unlike last year’s), but he’d tried for three different flavors and way too many sprinkles, so it’d tasted a little like mush. Sam’s was decorated beautifully with blue and yellow, but caved in a bit in the middle. He’d tried a “healthy” recipe that unfortunately was flavorless, but Jack ate them both with a toothy grin on his face. 

Cas’ was a labor of love, a product of multiple hands with perhaps too much decoration going on and way too many colors, but it was edible at least, and they end up eating that one more so than the others.

“So who wins?” Dean asks Jack, shoveling Cas’ cake in his mouth with only a slightly annoyed look on his face.

Jack spreads his arms wide and says, “Everyone! I love them all!” before loudly blowing his party popper.

The three of them hug their kid, press kisses to the top of his head and say, “We love you too, buddy.” 

And they all truly do. 

#roc original #prompt fill #my post #rambleoncas writing #bookshelf #b*gen #i hope this came out okay!! ended up being more about cas but ehhh you get the pointlmfao sdjcjhds #nougatparty #usershey #scottstiles #userdainty #holmesemrys #happy birthday jack !! #creativecaviar #spnclownpals #b*winchesters #*claire #+jody #+donna #pov:cas #b*fluff

[pebblysand]

[NOVEMBER '21] - THE LIFE/WRITING UPDATE NO ONE ASKED FOR (AND SOME QUICK LINKS)

oh lads. i don’t know about you but i have no idea where october went. i mean, i wrote every fucking day under the sun, then i went on holiday, then i edited 13,000 words in 27 hours almost straight, bar a 3 hour nap in between, then my mum came to stay with me, and now here we are, lol. plus the clocks have gone back gone forward i never know, and now it’s just dark, all the time, oh happy days. i think i said this in my old fic "children" once, but november is universally the shittiest month of the year, amiright?

Anyway, before diving into more life/writing updates, here are some quick links to different blog pages you might not see on mobile :

to read my fics

to read my original work

fic recs

to read my tumblr rants about stuff

[NOTE: i am currently not accepting prompts but maybe soon-ish?]

Castles (chap 10) ETA: december?

links extended a/n-s: chapter v ; chapter vi & vii ; chapter viii ; chapter ix

[more life/writing updates under the cut]

what i’m reading:

i went on holidays this month and so as planes have always been (and probably will always be the one place i read) we are back in business! i finished two books this month, and they were really good reads!

books:

i finished beautiful world, where are you? by sally rooney. as i’ve said before, i’ve been a sally rooney stan for a few years now, and i genuinely enjoyed this book, although it definitely was not my favourite. i think my issue with this book was two-fold: first, i didn’t love the letters exchanged between the two main protagonists - i felt they were a bit of a waste of space and did not really tell the reader anything new about the characters, if i’m honest and second, i felt a bit frustrated by the four-main-characters set-up, rather than two, like in normal people. i felt the same with conversations with friends so this is not news but i feel like if there’s one thing sally does, it’s character building, and i just wish she would focus on one or two people, rather than try and get confused with doing four. i also thought that strangely enough, she did a better job at having the boys be fascinating, well-rounded, flawed individuals, rather than the girls. both simon and felix felt like very interesting, complicated characters i really wanted to spend time with, and i desperately wanted this story told from their pov, rather than eileen and alice’s. i wonder if this is the only the effect of the restricted pov (obviously, the other characters whose heads you’re not in always feel more like a mystery) but i think it was something deeper than that. i felt that eileen was a bit too perfect for my taste and alice just felt like sally self-bashing. a lot of people have said that alice is a self-insert (insanely famous author of two books about “people,” known for the way she writes about sex… um, yeah, sure, why not?) but i would argue that it only is in the way that alice feels like rooney being like: here is everything i hate about myself in a single character who, by the way, has no redeeming qualities. i fucking hated alice, and i think you’re meant to hate her, and i was like, ‘honestly, sally, darling, no one is that bad.’ all of this being said, though, obviously, sally is a genius. her writing is stellar, her storytelling skills are insane and i will read her grocery list if she gives it to me. there’s that scene at the party with simon and eileen where she conveys all of the feelings in the world with almost no emotion whatsoever in text, that scene legit brought me to tears and i was like: okay, fair play, sure look, i’ll never write again, thanks very much. lastly, (and i’d be curious if this is a shared sentiment by non-irish people, @hiinnys, maybe, i’m curious what you thought) but i felt that this novel was a lot more “irish” than the previous ones. the omnipresence of the dublin rental crisis, the locations, i even noticed more irish phrases like the “do be” verb tense, which i don’t recall being used in her previous work. this might be in my head (or maybe i’m just noticing this now because i’ve been here longer) but this book really felt irish and homey to me. there was a very interesting article in gawker (ugh, i know) on this topic entitled “sally rooney is irish” and how she writes about ireland but without making it into this cliche-ed postcard set up we’re so used to. i thought it was super interesting and would highly recommend.

i also finished a book i’d downloaded on kindle ages ago but only got to now: watch her fall by erin kelly. sure look, ya girl loves a good thriller sometimes and erin kelly is such a master at telling a story from multiple povs… i’m honestly jealous. i really enjoyed this, the pacing and writing was great, and i loved the classical dancing setting. my only complaint is that the end twist, i felt, didn’t wrap around everything as well as it did in he said/she said, so i would definitely recommend reading that one first, because it’s really her masterpiece. this was definitely fab and entertaining. i was up trying to finish it until 2am the night i got back from romania, so this was 100% a banger.

fics:

i’m still reading: knowing where to look by ala_baguette and still loving it. haven’t read the latest chapter that came out last night yet, though, so please don’t spoil haha.

i’ve sort of low key been reading love in a time of a zombie apocalypse off a tiktok recommendation. i don’t know, sometimes i like to switch my brain off, okay? also, i’ve always sort of loved zombie/dystopian aus, they make me lol. it’s not the best fic i’ve ever read and i don’t know how i feel about dramione but sure look, it’s fine.

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what i’m watching:

i haven’t finished downton abbey but i have gotten recently obsessed with two other shows lately. the first is maid. i’ve spoken about it on tumblr a bit but boy, if domestic violence and poverty are topics that you feel drawn to, do give it a watch. it’s beautiful, the acting is stellar, it does such as good job of showing the cycle of toxic relationships, the legal difficulties when, as she puts it “you don’t have bruises” and is so, so well written, i absolutely loved it. obviously, it is a tough watch, though.

i’ve also been watching a lot of goliath lately. i’m on season 3, which i feel is slightly weaker than the first two, but i’m honestly loving it so far. it’s got a lot of michael connolly vibes, i feel, especially in the way that it shows los angeles, and is actually very funny. the characters are great, the acting is absolutely stellar (that woman who plays the paralegal is chef’s kiss) and i’m definitely enjoying this. would highly recommend if you’re looking for a non-traditional legal show.

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what i’m writing:

okay, this deserves capslocks. CASTLES IS OUT. I REPEAT. CASTLES IS OUT. thank the lord.

jokes aside, this took ages to get out, and i’m so, so glad it now is. i don’t know why but i was convinced this chapter was going to piss off a lot of people but actually, the response was overwhelmingly positive so thank you so much. i am so thankful and humbled by the fact that so many people are reading this story, it’s an actual dream and honestly, getting all your comments in throughout the last couple of days, it’s just been the absolute best feeling. i’ve tried to answer most of yous by now but i am running a bit of a backlog so please hand in there. but thank you, thank you, thank youuuu.

in terms of what happens next, i’ve said it on a couple of discords but i’m finally doing nanowrimo for the first time in my life (yaaaay!) it’s genuinely the first year, since finding out about the event some ten years ago, that i actually both have time and am in the “right” headspace to do this. so i’m trying it out by attempting to write the next 50,000 words of castles. i’m anticipating another 70k so it won’t be really “finishing” castles, but i’m hoping to make a pretty big dent in whatever’s left. this means that while i don’t think i’ll post an update before december, i’ll definitely be working. of course, if you want to send in asks or thoughts or do the word ask game again, anytime, be my guest. i’m actually sort of excited for this. i think it’s going to be tough, but loads of fun.

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what i’m doing:

i went to romania and it was fucking awesome to finally go on a trip after eighteen months of pandemic shite. this being said, i am absolutely exhausted and cannot wait for a bit of dublin-based, quiet time by myself. i’m just gonna paint my nails tonight, order some indian food and then sleep lol. whatevs, i’ll start nano tomorrow.

lots of love,

pebblysand.

#november 2021 #life update

[ugh-againwiththenames]

So Many Fanfics So Little Time

This is just my list, I have seen so many (but if you want to use it it’s all yours too!).  I’m not a writer.  But I am a hell of a reader. Voracious one might argue. I just wanted to track my progress through the weeds of the absolutely never ending supply of Destiel and Cockles fanfic. 

Read on if you want to see what I’ve read, and what I’ve thought. I am but one person with opinions - some of them may be unpopular - some of them you might agree with, but if you find something you haven’t read here, I encourage you to do so. 

Honestly, this is just so I can track what I have read already, and when my friends ask, I can reference something easily. I have found some different fics on all kinds of ‘best of’ lists all over the interwebs. And I love recs - so rec away friends. 

As someone who reads a solid 40 novels a year typically, I don’t come by the “I read a lot” innocently. I do actually read a LOT.  When not reading fanfic (a new obsession, all things being fair), I usually read a lot of Fantasy/high fantasy, romance/erotica, and or YA (yeah, that was a bit of a ride no?).  So from this one might digress that I like fluffy, cute stories, complicated and supernatural/paranormal type stories, and I sure do not shy away from violence or smut (or maybe violence with smut? *smirk*). 

I have read all of these in the last 2-3 months (I will continue to add as I go). I had never read a fanfic until 2-3 months ago.  A lot of these wonderful people are on here, and I mean you no offence by not directly tagging you - I’m still learning how to actually properly use this site. Links to AO3 are included (and I love you all). 

These aren’t necessarily in any real order - I did read T&S first, followed by 91W, and 4LW...after that it’s just a shit show of Long or Short, Destiel or Cockles - smorgasbord. Some of these are the most popular Fics out there, and others I’ve never seen recc’d anywhere (just sort of accidentally happened upon them).  So let’s get to it, shall we? 

Twist and Shout - ok look. I understand the stigma associated with this one, but it was the FIRST one I read. It was the ball that shot me down the hill, and I haven’t stopped since. So. I loved it. I CRIED like a baby. SOBBED. It was not the quality of the writing but the way the story was developed and delivered. I have Never Cried Like This Reading a Story IN MY LIFE. It’s a rite of passage. Read It and have an opinion - it doesn’t need to be mine.  

Author(s): gabriel, standbyme   https://archiveofourown.org/works/537876/chapters/955188

Ninety-One Whiskey - aka 91W, it is mentioned so much, and is SO worth the read.  I continued my dive into the war fics (not typically my bag really and here I was reading 2 in a row).  There are a couple of followup stories as well to this series (and yes, I’ve read them all).  Although I’ll say that the original is my favourite. I often got lost in a bit of the War/Tactical descriptions, but would recommend it to anyone anyway. Ugh...the “stolen moments”...they were at the same time tragic and the most amazing things ever.  You feel me? no? go read it. 

Author:  komodobits   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2362190/chapters/5214500

Four Letter Word for Intercourse - aka 4LW.  OMG just, OMG. I loved this story. I loved it so much. I think I read it in a day.  Devoured it. It’s so HOT. Just read it. If you haven’t you’re missing out.  LEMME AT IT. I loved “knowing the secret”, and had some major anxiety about that realization dawning (I had to take a breath, and be like, no, no, this is gonna be a mess, but it’s gonna be SO GOOD - I was not disappointed).  There’s more than one work here too - read them all. PLEASE. 

Author: bendingsignpost  https://archiveofourown.org/works/16086839/chapters/37568591

Memories Bring Back Memories (Bring Back You) - This was the first Sobs one I read, but it sent me on a spree.  this is the Memory Loss one.  I have one piece of advice here - read everything by Sobsicles. You can thank me later...just go to her page, and fucking sort to supernatural (or not, read it all!) I’d list them but I’d fucking seriously be here all day.  Also, her tags make me laugh so hard.

Author:  sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Orpheus - I love this one too, Tattooed!Cas, my LOVE. paired with Mechanic!Dean, my HEART, #help.  Read this one in one evening as well. (I was on a roll).  It’s a one night stand that turns into more (much like my last relationship)....hmm...maybe this is why I was pulled in - although to be fair that is the last similarity to my shitty love life! I do not remember how I stumbled onto this one (tattooed Cas may have been the draw...tbh). Read the warnings though, there is some triggering stuff in this one - but if you can handle it, it’s definitely worth the read. 

Author: sysrae       https://archiveofourown.org/works/2364347/chapters/5220227

Have Love, Will Travel - Can you say no to Stripper!Dean? Cause I sure as hell cannot. Typical sort of character development here with Dean having trust issues, and Cas being painfully awkward...(but in like a super cute way?).  Would Recommend. 

Author: squeemonster   https://archiveofourown.org/works/565455/chapters/1011747

The Inexhaustible Silence of Houses - Change of pace here...It’s got a nice twist.  I didn’t actually clue into how it was going to end until very near the end (maybe I was being oblivious), when the realization came over me and I was...man. I was DONE IN.  I hope that doesn’t spoil (I need some kind of way of remembering them). Voiceless!Cas Hunter!Dean

Author: Askance (doomcountry)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/560268/chapters/1000755

Adagio - This is super short, and super cute. Honestly, I would read the whole thing just for the last line. It’ll take you less than an hour if I remember correctly. Go, I’ll wait. I squeeed. did you? 

Author: noangelsinthegarrison   https://archiveofourown.org/works/1397248/chapters/2928145

Any Little Heartache - super easy read (not in a bad way, but in a ‘you’ll fly through it’ way).  It’s mid-length, not graphic, but really fun hospital AU. HeartSurgeon!Dean / Nurse!Cas - enemies to lovers anyone? Fuck you to Fuck me? yeah. YUM. 

Author: followthattardis https://archiveofourown.org/works/5143376/chapters/11838311

Ad Astra - This is another short(ish) one, just one chapter.  And by that I mean that this is written like a very long poem. Cas as a star who has visited Dean many times over the years of his life, that culminates in 4x01 barn scene. It’s ‘awe’ sad. ‘puppy dog eyes’ sad. The writing format took me a bit to understand what was happening - it’s my lack of poetry knowledge, not the writing.  

Author: nhixxie https://archiveofourown.org/works/1013491

Ad Astra Per Aspera - This is a cute story.  ESL writer, no judgement.  I found this while looking for the one above, and thought the premise looked cute - and it was. Misunderstanding leading to Dean realizing he’s actually Bi.  Miscommunication leading to realization.  

Author: Riverchester https://archiveofourown.org/works/12354336/chapters/28101816

Psalm 40:2 - Time travel post-canon Cas and Pre-series Dean.  If you’re wondering how that works, strap in for this ride, it’s well worth it. 

Author: unicornpoe https://archiveofourown.org/works/30786425/chapters/75992444

Addicted to You - Warlock!Dean/Incubus!Cas - accidental ‘mating’ (I actually really don’t like that word, but there’s sort of no avoiding it in this situation). Cute story.  When you drunk dial a succubus and get an incubus instead...Whatever will we do? 

Author: Ltleflrt https://archiveofourown.org/works/4387346/chapters/9959288 

A Glimpse Beyond - End Fix-it. Not yet complete, 10 chapters so far...I want MORE! Reliving memories Dean/Cas & Sam/Eileen.   

Author: NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/27731689/chapters/67875925

Cas-ti-el - Please I want more...It’s like the story just started. Please write more of this story!! 1 chapter, it’s a trope prompt challenge, but I want it to be a full on story of its own. Imprinted names of their soul mates, Dean doesn’t understand his (because it’s in a different language)...I’m frustrated by wanting this story to keep going. 

Author:  Valinde (Valyria)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/1941591

Our Bodies, Posessed by Light - another short one. Not going to lie, this one took a little getting used to, and I can’t say that I enjoyed it too much for the sole purpose that the premise gave me the willies.  Cas has to vessel jump - ends up in Sam...I got through it, it had a good ending, but yeah, sorry. This just wasn’t for me. 

Author:  obstinatrix  https://archiveofourown.org/works/260289

Peanut Butter Pumpkin Wedding Cake - Waiter!Dean / Writer!Cas - This is so effing cute, just misunderstanding after misunderstanding bumbling around like the couple of dorks that they are. It’s only one chapter. 100% would recommend. 

Author:  Sparseparsley https://archiveofourown.org/works/223962

Destiel, Actually - This is another super cute story, 5 chapters. Gabriel playing a singular role in putting Dean and Cas in awkward positions to push them together.  I fucking DIED at “oh, I am the sub” - needs context, but I guarantee you that you’ll laugh out loud...

Author:  Bexism  https://archiveofourown.org/works/399934/chapters/658398

The Smell Before the Rain - This was my first A/B/O - a big apology to all those who are into mpreg and whatnot, this was my lesson that I am not. this was not for me. Also - I’m a firm Cas (Alpha/Dom) believer, and i’m good with switch Cas, but it’s hard for me to take him being the full Omega here, when paired with the rest I just couldn’t do it. I finished it, but, not my thing. I know now. 

Author: jscribbles https://archiveofourown.org/works/22355230/chapters/53406127

Crazy Diamonds - This is another short one, only 3 chapters - it’s a body swap for Dean, 4x02 him and 2018 him swap places (assumption that 2018 him is “with” Cas).  It’s a super cute little story. 

Author:  pantheon_of_discord https://archiveofourown.org/works/16151642/chapters/37738631

The Breath of All Things - Wheelchair!Dean / Volunteer!Cas.  This is a lovely story, typical Dean self-hatred etc. Triggering for those with suicide warnings. It had me in tears at the end. There’s a really spectacular quote near the end that I found so romantic I screen grabbed it. 

Author:  KismetJeska https://archiveofourown.org/works/994750/chapters/1967519

Kind of a Forever Deal - SummerCamp!AU This is just a really cute and fluffy summer camp AU.  Which is so different from 91W (That’s right, check the author)! I was a little disappointed with the ending, but otherwise really enjoyed this all the way through and was loving all the discovery and young characterizations of all the characters. 

Author: komodobits https://archiveofourown.org/works/999291/chapters/1978478

Everytown, USA - Best way I can break this one down? Wanderer!Dean (listless and without a place in the world, he ends up in a small town...), Twin!Cas (that leads to some fun things). There are a number of points where you’re gonna yell at Dean for doing stupid shit (that are very much in character for him to do), you think, well, yes, obviously you’re going to do that you silly fucking boy [affectionate]; but whyyy? (but we know). 

Author: aileenrose https://archiveofourown.org/works/1797559/chapters/3854836

Chalk and Chainmail - HighSchool!AU, Cas is an artist, Dean LARP’s - it’s cute and angsty. 

Author:  lemonsorbae https://archiveofourown.org/works/804704/chapters/1517551

A Little Patience - Ok. you want smut? This is your story. You want Kink? This is your story.  I actually did not finish this. It got a little carried away in my opinion. It was VERY panty kink oriented (which, while essentially canon isn’t really my kink) so, if you want that Panty Kink on full display? Go forth and enjoy! it  is thirty something chapters, I got to the mid-twenties I Think. 

Author: riseofthefallenone https://archiveofourown.org/works/1750058/chapters/3739232

Control - I REALLY ENJOYED THIS. Which is saying a lot for someone who has already admitted that a Subby Cas isn’t really my HC - so to so thoroughly enjoy a Sub!Cas story? (maybe it’s the tattooes...*wink*). It’s an AU where Cas is the head of a company - Dean is a callboy I guess, for lack of a better term. Just read it.

Author: dothraki_shieldmaiden  https://archiveofourown.org/works/31156601/chapters/76993217

More (I copy pasted the next lot from my google doc, I’ll flush them out later - no i wont...)

Teach Me (short) - movie night in the bunker, things get a little carried away   Author:  Chiyume  https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961327

You Light the Spark (in my bonfire heart) (short) - when cas doesn't realize that dean is unaware of his feelings, super short, super cute                      Author: noangelsinthegarrison https://archiveofourown.org/works/1193910 

Communication Breakdown (short/cockles) - dean ends up in Jensen's head while he films the confession scene, no sexual content Author: jujubiest   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Look What You Made Me Do (short/cockles) -      -  Vegas Con 2020 / jensen comes out with a song     - cute short - no sexual content Author:  green_blue_heller https://archiveofourown.org/works/30251592 Full House (short/cockles) - reimagined version of the rented house story - putting it in order (so to speak). funny / cute / fluffy not explicit   Author: n_nami  https://archiveofourown.org/works/30855827

Cyber Sex (short/cockles) - anastiel https://archiveofourown.org/works/31467086      - shameless post GISH Fest zoom call porn      - Short (very short)

It's Complicated (cockles) - gail_morgan https://archiveofourown.org/works/31434938/chapters/77747519       The GISHtake (short/cockles) - MellyCrazyCoconut https://archiveofourown.org/works/31508099     - cute short post GISH zoom     - oops "babe, really?"  

(10.02.2021 updated) Since last update: New reads - Fuck i’m gonna be here all day - there’s not gonna be as much gonna be NO detail in these breakdowns...sorry! This has now just become a “what i’ve read list” as opposed to a Rec list...

Love, All Alike (Pt. 1 Love, All Alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4555599/chapters/10370646                             - Though The Stars Walk Backward (pt 2 Love, All alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves

And this, your living kiss - opal_bullets   https://archiveofourown.org/works/18083927/chapters/42744872

Come On, Let's Strike a Match (Domination and Submission: a love story pt 1) - anyrei & queerwerewolf ***   https://archiveofourown.org/works/25722478/chapters/62458810    - Playing With Fire (D&S: a love story pt 2)    - We Kiss and the Flames Get Higher (D&S: a love story pt 3)     - Sparking That Old Flame (D&S: a love story pt 4) 

Cinderwings - bendingsignpost Cinderella!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847041/chapters/29336421

Linden - fleeceframe Swan!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33126730/chapters/82236118

No Netflix, No Chill (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764966

Can't Drink You Away (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28785792 

Jensen Totally (Does Not!) Snore (short RPF) - Dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30315717

Dean Ships It (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30349434

All about control - wingless   https://archiveofourown.org/works/9151930/chapters/20791243

Aesthetics in Autoerotica (pt 1 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant   https://archiveofourown.org/works/3885544                                                             - The Ties that Bind (pt 2 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant

Let's take a drive - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32581027/chapters/80819581 

Enchanted ink - castielslostwings TattooArtist!Dean TattooArtist!Castiel AU ***   https://archiveofourown.org/works/23043622/chapters/55109530

The bones beneath our skin - darknessbound   https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633754/chapters/59515804

The Plot (RPF) - Castiel_Left_His_Mark_On_Me   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2795588/chapters/6274970

The Gentle Force with which you Take Me (RPF) - Phoenix_Ascended   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32110120/chapters/79549183

According to all known laws of Life (Pt. 1 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29207901                                                          - and he's back (with a mind of his own) (pt. 2 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles

Six hundred sundays (and many more) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31158776

Aching in the Absence of you - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31832977/chapters/78811378

gorging myself on you, still can’t get full (insatiable) (Short) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32203291

memories bring back memories (bring back you) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Dream Come True (short) - bendingsignpost   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28071159

tall grass - aeli_kindara   https://archiveofourown.org/works/13127040/chapters/30030726

asunder (Short) - rageprufrock https://archiveofourown.org/works/62115

Apheresis - bendingsignpost BloodDonor!AU **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32674783/chapters/81056680

we always were but never knew it - frightfullyrude   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32698324/chapters/81119503

In this Louisiana Bar (Short) - fleeceframe   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31764487

The Hitchhiker's Guide to Alternate Universes - n_nami   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32687929/chapters/81092785

my heart a compass - lagaudiere https://archiveofourown.org/works/28629951

Unsound Inverses - sp8ce (not complete)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29836881/chapters/73413300

The Jensen Mistake (RPFish) - fellshish   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31950169

tell me about the dream (Pt. 1 Kids are coming home) - playedwright   https://archiveofourown.org/works/27984813/chapters/68544450

It's handy to know (FIMMF Themed ;)) - RosaMarloes   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31761322

So Says The Sword - komodobits AngelTrueform!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/12597892/chapters/28695592

Communication Breakdown (RPFish)- darkshrimpemotions (jujubiest)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Carry You Home - Casloveshisfreckles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982637/chapters/65862916

In the Shadow of your Wings - Enochian Things (Salr323)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/7531294/chapters/17121655

When Harry Met Sally (RPF) (Pt. 1 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood   https://archiveofourown.org/works/7622347/chapters/17351845    - Eight Dildos (RPF) (Pt. 2 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood    - Attention, Please (RPF) (Pt. 3 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood             - Boat Trip (RPF) (Pt. 4 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood

A Winter's Tale - NorthernSparrow   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2654327/chapters/5930561

A Close Shave - NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/3090167

r/supernatural - renrub (short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/27626783

sam reads destiel fics - rebshome (short - funny!)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33721624

Angel Cookies - noxsoulmate Chirstmas!AU **  https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729640/chapters/26427765

Under The Midnight Sun - NorthernSparrow Arctic!AU **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/16690645/chapters/39143677

Bron-Yr-Aur - mrbluesky (Short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/28225335

The Dean Winchester Beat Sheet - saltyfeathers   https://archiveofourown.org/works/19258594/chapters/45800209

The Meaning On My Skin - saltnhalo   https://archiveofourown.org/works/18005378/chapters/42538133

Red Right Hand (Pt. 1 Murder Ballads)  - Duckyboos   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4306110/chapters/9760008    - Are you the One that I've been waiting for? (pt. 2 Murder Ballads) - Duckyboos   

Riptides - sharkfish   https://archiveofourown.org/works/13230426/chapters/30263556

Damn Fine Ride - Cimorene105 (pt 1 - rodeo) Cowboy!AU** (I’m a horse girl, sue me...)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/14342340    - My Face Just Does This, Sometimes - Cimorene105 (pt. 2 rodeo)    - The Kinkiest Thing I've Ever Done- Cimorene105 (pt 3 rodeo)    - All Signs Point to Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 4 rodeo)    - Monster Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 5 rodeo)    - My Man, The Siren - Cimorene105 (pt. 6 rodeo)    - A Pain in My Ass - Cimorene105 (pt. 7 rodeo)

Astrolabe (terra incognita pt 1) - reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent   https://archiveofourown.org/works/3348812/chapters/7326794    - Drollery (terra incognita pt 2) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent    - Rubrication (terra incognita pt 3) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent

Go Down With This Ship - PorcupineGirl   https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023642/chapters/18370474

Fire and Ice - Castielslostwings (Firefighter/Paramedic AU!) **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/23286295/chapters/55768486

The Structural Similarities of Hunters and Onions - Faster_Than_the_Speed_of_Sound (Short)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33383101

Castiel Novak's Office, This is Dean - emmbrancsxx0   https://archiveofourown.org/works/22411336/chapters/53545840

Out of the Deep (out of the deep pt. 1) - riseofthefallenone - MERMAID AU! **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/548878/chapters/977676

Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx - pantheon_of_discord   https://archiveofourown.org/works/10909440/chapters/24256989

I'll Be Good - LittleAngelCassie   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4118334/chapters/9282234

Kenosis - CastielsCarma (Short - part of Destiel ABC collection)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30411720

#fics #fic recs #fanfiction #ao3 #cockles #destiel #dean and cas #jensen and misha #one track mind #supernatural #please send me recs #read more fics #this is my new obsession

[chocolatecakecas]

Baby Blues

Silence and Sound: Season 13 Destiel Fic Part 10

Part 1     Part 3     Part 4     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7   Part 8    Part 9

read on ao3

Dean had always associated the bunker with silence. The soft hum of the the ancient heating system, and the dull buzzing of the lights.

It was a far cry from the dingy motels with their paper thin walls and strings of seedy customers.

Or the years he spent practically living in the Impala with her ever rumbling engine, listening to the legos rattling in the vents, or kept awake by Sam's endless snores.

So he could appreciate the silence. He had always found it comforting, at least that's what he told himself.

But now, the bunker is bursting with noise.

Plates and cups clinking in the kitchen, cellphones ringing off the hook, the beeping of the oven timer, and the stream of constant conversation.

The sound of tiny feet pattering on the concrete, plastic wheels squeaking on the wooden floors, the clang of legos on the map table, and the distant sounds of Toy Story playing on the tv in the Dean Cav- living room.

Shrieks of laughter ring through the halls, both young and old. Happiness and love filling every corner.

But it's also filled with sounds of despair.

(read the rest under the cut)

Screaming matches in the kitchen, muffled arguments behind closed doors, desperate pleading in the garage after returning from a hunt gone bad.

Wails of pain from a scraped knee, the clang of legos as they are angrily shoved off the map table and sent scattering across the floor, the distant sound of a temper tantrum in the living room.

Broken shouts and muffled sobs ring through the dark halls during the early hours of the morning. Both young and old. Yet, love still fills every corner, but often it only fuels the sorrow, strengthening the blow.

But today, it's filled with laughter.

Cas, pretending to chase Jack, who's giggling like a maniac, up and down the halls. His little feet slapping against the floors, as Cas yells behind him (in his signature "silly voices" of course)

Sam and Eileen at the map table, laughing as she tells a story about her most recent hunt. She ran into Claire and Kaia due to a huge miscommunication on Sam's end (He's still getting the hang of the whole "Hunter HQ" thing), causing all three of them think they were hunting three different monsters. But it's alright because now the girls are coming for dinner later, (at Cas' invitation and Dean's insistence) since they drove all the way here for a hunt anyway. It wouldn't be a full family dinner, because his Mom and Bobby wouldn't be back from their hunt in Montana for at least another two days, but that just means they'd have to have another unplanned-planned "get together", so he definitely wasn't complaining.

And Dean stands in the kitchen stirring milk, cheese and Star Wars shaped macaroni in a pot, spoon clanking against the metal.

He listens to the sound of his little family, the people he cares about most in the world. He hears as the sounds of their lives fill up the halls, and finds it difficult to remember the silence.

He finds himself struggling to hear the soft hum of the heating system, or the dull buzz of the lights.

And he wonders if he misses it? Wonders if he misses the comfort of the silence? Wonders if it wa-

Something crashes into his legs, ripping Dean from his thoughts.

Jack giggles as he tries to hide himself from view behind Dean's legs. He shushes Dean with a serious look, showing that he means business.

So Dean looks down and throws him an exaggerated wink, zipping his lips for good measure, which sends him into another fit of giggles.

Dean gazes travels back up to see Cas hanging on the doorway, cheeks tinged pink, and a knowing smile on his lips. And Dean's heart definitely doesn't skip a beat.

"Hello Dean, you haven't happened to see our son anywhere, have you?" Cas asks dramatically, making his presence known.

Our son, that always makes Dean's heart soar.

"Hmm Jack? Why no, I can't say that I have! He definitely didn't come through the kitchen" Dean responds playing along.

Jack shuffles behind Dean's leg letting out a little giggle.

"Oh, so then you wouldn't mind moving away from the stove and walking over here to help me look for him?" Cas teases, stretching his arms out for emphasis. Dork.

With a grin, Dean goes to take an exaggerated step towards Cas, but Jack pulls on his leg.

"Daddy! You promised" Jack shouts in disbelief, hanging on Dean's legs.

"Sorry bud, but you were so quiet that I completely forgot you were there" Dean says with mock surprise.

Jack opens his mouth to retort, but Cas hums alerting him of his presence again. His eyes go wide, realizing he gave away his hiding spot, as Cas takes a big step forward.

And at that, Jack races from the room, with a shriek of laughter. Dean and Cas share a laugh watching him go.

God Jack is getting so big, 18 months. He's gonna be two this year, and Dean's heart clenches at the thought. Of course, being half angel he's developmentally "older" than two, but Dean doesn't like to think about that.

He turns towards Cas again, watching him fondly gazing at the now empty doorway.

And almost 10 months with Cas.

Cas' eyes finds their way back to Dean's, as they always do. So Dean stares back.

And it's this moment that Dean realizes just how human Cas has become, even with his grace intact. With his messy hair, his rumpled blue "dad" sweater and jeans, his mismatched socks, the soft smile on his face that crinkles around his eyes. And it hits him how far they've come.

It's been 18 months since that night wh-18 months since Jack came into his life. And a lot can happen in 18 months. You can fall ass backwards into raising a child, slow down a bit on hunting, start dating your best friend who’s been the secretly been in love with for years, who came back to life, and raise the child with him.

Something warm settles in his chest.

Dean refocuses on Cas, and notices a look he's never truly seen on him before. A look that says, "there's no place I'd rather be, than right here". Of course Cas has made it clear that this is what he wants, but he's never worn it so plainly on his face before.

It's contentment.

And it knocks the wind out of Dean's lungs.

It's been almost 10 months since Dean and Cas got their crap together.

And of course, it isn't easy. There's screaming matches, sleepless nights, petty fights, and more baggage between them than you would find in an airport.

But Dean wouldn't trade a second of it. And apparently, neither would Cas.

Because Cas is content. Here. With Dean.

Cas is actually happy here, with the little life they've created. This is where Cas wants to be, and this is where Dean wants Cas to be.

And in this moment Dean is rapidly realizing that it's all terrifyingly real.

And Dean's never felt this way in his life, about anyone or anything and he's, scared, but god it's the good kind of scared. And he-

He catches a slight dip in Cas' smile, which snaps him back to reality. His thoughts must have been clear on his face.

Shit that's not what he wan-

He quickly tries to convey the same look of contentment through his own features, giving Cas a smile. A real one.

And he must somewhat succeed because Cas' smile returns, but a question still lingers in his eyes.

So Cas parts his lips, most likely to ask Dean if something's wrong (Cas never lets him get away with anything), but Jack's laughter rings from the other room. So he huffs a laugh, and begins to cross the kitchen making his way to the other door.

But not before he places his hand on Dean's shoulder, and presses a soft kiss to his cheek.

Dean's heart swells. God that never gets old.

As he pulls back, he meets Dean's eyes again, leveling him with a look that Dean knows all too well. A slight smirk with a raised brow, that definitely doesn't make Dean's stomach flip.

It's his signature, "I know you Dean Winchester, which means we are definitely talking about whatever that look on your face was, later". And of course he always pretends to be annoyed that Cas can read him so well, but god if it doesn't make Dean's heart race a little every single time.

So Dean just gives a shit eating grin in return, and Cas' smile morphs into a smirk.

Then Cas is leaning forward, ready to capture his lips with his own, Dean happily following his lead.

But then, Cas pulls back at the last second.

And before Dean can even open his mouth, Cas gives a tight squeeze to his ass, and then he's bounding away through the door.

He hangs on the door frame for a moment, giving Dean a wink, and then he's gone, laugh ringing down the hall. Friggin tease.

"What a little shit", Dean laughs to himself, rolling his eyes fondly.

As he turns back to the pot on the stove, he hears Cas exaggeratedly wonder where Jack has gone, followed by the sound of Sam and Eileen joining in on the fun.

When he grabs five bowls from the cabinet, he makes sure to listen to the laughter echoing through the halls.

And Dean begins to wonder again.

Maybe he didn't find the silence of the bunker comforting, maybe he nev-

The laughter swells in the other room, feet stomping on the wooden floors. The love of his life, his son, his brother, his new best friend and hopefully one day sister-in-law. His family. Laughing together without a care in the world, on this lazy Sunday afternoon.

And well, Dean can't say he misses the silence much at all. In fact, he's actually quite content with the noise.

I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who read, liked/reblogged, or left lovely comments on this story! I have not written in years, this fic happened by complete accident, and I never could have imagined the love it got! (I do love this little "universe" so maybe look out for some more baby jack in the future)💓 AND a very special thanks to @wormstacheangel and @smiledean who listened to me complain and yell about this fic every week💓💓💓💓

Tag list:

(As always,please let me know if you would like to added or removed!!💛)

@wormstacheangel @smiledean @shelikestv @chaoticdean @midnightwings-deancas @jellydeans @sunshine-jack @archervale @wikiangela @organicpurplepants

@writtendevastation @tkdwolf2012 @doemons-blog @rolling-stoned-girl @skylerkernaghan @shadowywerewolfqueen @the-cookie-navy @thelahatiel @thefantasyfiend @castielle-deanna @aestheticflyer26

@multi-fandom-imagine @x-mypeopleskillsarerusty-x @wellofwoes @becky-srs @multi-fandom-dark-lord @perfectkoaladream @castiel-for-lunch @it--hurts--to--become @bowtiesandneckerchiefs @dakiaty @feraldean @teamfreebees @keshetcas @hrh-princess-bea @martymar1963 @winchester-novak

#shes done!!!!!! #not to be dramatic but im a little sad which is funny because i had like zero intention i writing this it just sort of happened #i also really like this little 'universe' ive created so perhaps i'll make a second part of a collection of oneshots we shall see #because i CANNOT stop baby jack truthing!!! #but thank you to everyone who has read!!!!! i love you all so much🥺🥺💛💛 #eileen is there and alive because i said so!!!! #bec writes #destiel fic #destiel fanfic #season 13 #dean winchester #castiel #jack kline #baby!jack #eileen leahy #destiel #baby jack truthing #deancas #casdean #dadstiel #saileen

[mrcowboydeanwinchester]

Just wanted to say I reread the last 3 entries of jo daily and by god the emotions hit just as strong months and months later. sitting there reading "I hope this holds" after just regaining hope about a couple of things myself and knowing the tentative but overwhelming joy ughhhhhh

Anyway just wanted to say

It's holding. Thanks for holding it for Jo, for me.

Hope she's doing well. Hope she and Cassie are happy in ram-shack heaven with lavender sprigs in their hair and lavender polish on their nails.

I hope Rick's still alright and he and Jo get to talk. I hope Eileen gets whats she's chasing.

Just wanted to say thanks

this ask comes at such a wonderful time because i've recently been rereading jo daily too for an essay i'm writing on presentations of femininity in sapphicnatural fanfic! it's been so nice to dive back into jo's world and so hearing you are too is lovely <3

thank you so much for your kind comments (both while i was writing it and now) they always really motivated me and i'm glad to hear the fic still resonates with you :)

i really hope the tentative and overwhelming joy in your life becomes something more settled and certain - as certain as i am in all of the characters' happiness - and i hope it holds for you!!

#this was such a heartwarming ask to receive thank you so so much!! #MWAH #jo daily #ola answers

[theinvisibledoodlewizard]

Eileen discovers that her minimum size has dramatically raised; she can still shrink and grow, but her new minimum is pretty close to her pre-Power maximum.

I’ve read this two or three times and for some reason my brain just derps and won’t let me get what you’re saying. Sorry!! I have moments of that. It’s not you probably. 😅

I think I get what you mean, where she now is bigger when she’s at her smallest?

Wouldn’t she do that anyway? She will eventually grow up. :3 unless she’s immortal… which I’ve always wondered.

#wordgirl #word girl #asks

[mittensmorgul]

Re: your recent post about the finale being a giant excuse for a cast party, I've been saying this to people for months. The more I hear about it, the more it sounds like it was an episode designed to say goodbye to the actual TV show SPN, rather than an episode designed around what makes narrative sense for the characters or in-universe plot/themes. The characters have no association with Kansas, only the crew and audience do. The Heaven scene apparently was an open invitation to all (1/2)

(2/3 now) previous crew members, whether it made sense for them to be in Heaven or not (Rachel Miner said she would be there, so I guess demons can be in Heaven now?). IDK if you ever saw Nashville but they pulled the same thing in the finale. Some of the characters were singing on stage and then were joined by all the previous characters who'd died - a huge WTF moment initially - before the audience realised that they'd smashed the 4th wall entirely and it was meant to be the actors themselves.

(3/3) Then the creator and crew got up onstage to say their thank yous before the cameras swung around to reveal the camera operators etc. It was VERY WEIRD, but then again, nobody had the emotional investment in Nashville as they do in SPN so everyone just shrugged and went with it. Given that we had the bridge scene in 15x20 though, I do now think that they were trying something similar, except they thought it through horribly. Anyway, it makes it MUCH easier to dismiss 15x20 entirely.

Hello there! And yeah, ever since (I think it was) Jensen first said that 15.19 would work like a “season finale” while 15.20 would function as a “series finale” I’ve been prepared to think of 15.20 as its own entity, you know? He was pretty emphatic about the concept, and it had me seriously wondering why for the better part of a year. In conjunction with the story he told (repeatedly) of how difficult it was for him to wrap his head around the finale. And then there was that shot on the bridge with the entire crew, and it was like... why?! I mean, I get they wanted to honor the crew in some way but that just felt ~weird and jarring~ after that whole episode’s weirdness.

And now we’ve had confirmation about some aspects of the original intended ending, with a massive party at the Roadhouse in Heaven, with characters we have to assume were ~not originally~ in heaven. Much as I love Rachel Miner, I seriously doubt Meg would’ve been in Heaven-- unless it was the human she had originally possessed and not The Demon Known As Meg. And Ketch? I guess murdering Eileen that one time wasn’t a big enough strike against him to have earned Heaven redemption after his help in s15? But then if Eileen was also there? AWKWARD.... like... the random assortment of faces would’ve ranged from narratively meaningless to outright insulting, you know?

And it kind of goes with the theory I’d adopted shortly after the finale aired, that that particular finale only made sense in the Mockumentary!verse. Because the rest of the episode required to get us to that Heaven Roadhouse Party Concert Ending just... didn’t make sense with the show *we* have been watching for years. But maybe one universe over where the characters in the Mockumentary were actually real, maybe this ending made sense for their show. The contrivance of Dean with a dog fit pretty well with Mockumentary!Jensen walking around set with a dog, and Sam with a wig was spot on with Mockumentary!Jared and his wig on fire like... in the most hilariously awful way, some of the narrative choices fit those characters.

And honestly, my heart hurts for people who haven’t been able to let go of 15.20 as a part of canon, for folks who have been too hurt by it to engage with something that brought them happiness and validation for years. I’m not suggesting that this is The Full Truth here, but that seeing this episode this way might help let it go if it’s only causing them pain. There’s perfectly valid and legitimate arguments to be made that 15.20 isn’t actually a part of canon, so if seeing it this way or accepting this headcanon helps anyone in any way to let go and be able to engage with the rest of canon and fandom again, then it’s worth making this suggestion.

Again, not saying this is in any way a factual statement of how this episode was conceived and came to be, but hooooboy, it sure would explain a lot if it was...

I just don’t want people taking this theory and presenting it as What Actually Happened in any official capacity, because for all we know this is entirely off base with reality. But heck... apply it liberally for personal salvation if it helps, you know?

#spn 15.20 #Anonymous