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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Note

Hi! This is for the prompts: LWJ and WWX get together at Cloud Recesses but it’s a secret. When it does come out tho, probably due to WWX mischief some how. JC comes to the conclusion that LWJ has managed to ‘defile WWXs honor’ and now JC has no choice but to fight on behalf of his big brother, who clearly has been wronged.

Honor, Defended - ao3

Untamed

“What are they doing,” Jiang Cheng said, voice strangled, eyes staring.

Nie Huaisang stood up on his toes and squinted over his new friend’s shoulder. “Fighting?”

It looked like fighting.

“No.”

Not fighting? In that case, at least by Nie sect standards, that meant –

“Flirting?”

Jiang Cheng growled, which meant Nie Huaisang’s guess was right. “I’m going to kill the rotten bastard in white! I bet he waited until Wei Wuxian was alone just for this. How dare he take advantage of my – of Wei Wuxian!”

“I mean, I don’t know about that? They seem about tied,” Nie Huaisang said, making a mental note – not that many people could match up against Lan Wangji, especially when he was in a you-are-breaking-the-rules sort of snit. “Each one’s giving as good as the other gets, if you know what I mean…I’m talking about fighting!” He added hastily, seeing Jiang Cheng’s expression. “Just the fighting! And hey, maybe the Lan sect doesn’t flirt through fighting?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jiang Cheng said. “All cultivation sects flirt through fighting.”

Damnit, Nie Huaisang thought to himself with a sigh. That means I’m going to have to train with saber after all if I’m going to get somewhere here, doesn’t it? Well, at least da-ge will be pleased…

“Are you going to interrupt?” he asked, hiding his face behind his fan. “If fighting is flirting…”

As expected, Jiang Cheng choked. “Not all fighting is flirting!” he hissed. “But that most certainly is!”

Nie Huaisang didn’t understand fighting, so he just shrugged.

“Why don’t you confront him later?” he suggested, but Jiang Cheng shook his head, his features already settling into a mulish expression that had no right to look as attractive as it was. “All right, I see I can’t convince you. Good luck defending your brother’s honor, then?”

“If Lan Wangji doesn’t stop flirting with Wei Wuxian in class, I’m going to do something violent,” Jiang Cheng said.

“Okay, now I know you’re delusional,” Nie Huaisang said. “But still very pretty. Oh, I’m torn…actually no, I think I’m fine. I mean, what cultivator do I know that isn’t a bit delusional?”

“Can you stop talking nonsense and focus on how we’re going to split them up?” Jiang Cheng demanded irritably. Really, it was no wonder that Nie Huaisang’s best attempts at flirting were going nowhere. Jiang Cheng was thick.

In many appealing ways. Mm.

Damn his bad taste.

“Well, I think first you have to start by reversing your statement until it resembles the truth a bit more,” Nie Huaisang said, trying to be practical. “It’s Wei-xiong that’s flirting with Lan-er-gongzi, not the other way around.”

“He’s just like that!”

“A giant flirt, you mean?”

“Sociable,” Jiang Cheng insisted with the sort of blindly loyal stubbornness that was sadly very, very appealing to those surnamed Nie. Mouthwatering, even.

“Right,” Nie Huaisang said, dabbing at his mouth with his sleeve to make sure he wasn’t drooling. “I see. All right, I’ll help you. I’ll even promise to find a way to break them up for good, guaranteed – but first you have to meet one condition.”

Jiang Cheng arched his eyebrows, looking unwillingly intrigued. “Name it.”

“You have to come up with one way in which Lan-er-gongzi has been flirting with Wei Wuxian that isn’t ‘he existed being pretty in his general direction’.”

Jiang Cheng opened his mouth.

Nie Huaisang waited.

“…maybe he should consider being less pretty,” Jiang Cheng grumbled.

Nie Huaisang patted him on the shoulder, then left his hand on his shoulder because why not.

“We’ve all thought that about him over the years,” he said. “Better luck next time.”

“You’re supposed to be helping me preserve my brother’s honor!” Jiang Cheng hissed at Nie Huaisang, who had made absolutely no promises of that sort without giant loopholes that he could walk right out of. “Not – encouragingthis!”

“I didn’t! I just helped Wei-gongzi play a tiny little prank –”

“With pornography!”

“Tasteful erotic art,” Nie Huaisang corrected.

“With cutsleeve pornography!”

“Cutsleeve tasteful erotic art.”

“Nie Huaisang! You’re missing the point!”

“Am I?” Nie Huaisang asked thoughtfully, tapping his fan against his lips. “I don’t know, I’m not sure I am. Can you explain what the point is again?”

Jiang Cheng threw his hands up into the air. “Listen, it was bad enough when Wei Wuxian got thrown out of Teacher Lan’s classes and had to go copy rules in the Library Pavilion for a month; that’s disgraceful and loses face for our sect, but at least his personal honor was preserved –”

Bad scholarship was, in fact, not an impediment to having personal honor. Nie Huaisang knew this fact forwards, backwards, and intimately.

“But then Teacher Lan fell for Lan Wangji’s tricks and decided to assign him to supervise copying –”

“Lan-er-gongzi has tricks? That’s news to me.”

“…well, either way, they got cooped up there in that room, together, alone, for – for weeks!”

“Hasn’t Lan-er-gongzi been using the muting spell on Wei-xiong most of that time?”

“No, eventually Wei Wuxian learned his lesson and now he shuts himself up whenever he sees him starting up the spell, he complains to me and shijie about it constantly every night,” Jiang Cheng said, grumbling. “Stop interrupting me!”

“Sorry. Go ahead.”

“Anyway, if that wasn’t enough, you’re now encouragingthis debacle by setting up a prank that involves Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, and cutsleeve pornography.”

“I did,” Nie Huaisang agreed. “And it’s tasteful erotic art, Jiang-xiong.”

“Why do you keep insisting on that?” Jiang Cheng snapped. “Isn’t it the same thing?”

“No,” Nie Huaisang said patiently. “Because I also have pornography, and it’s a lot less tasteful.”

Jiang Cheng stopped, utterly distracted from his previous rant. “...you do?”

“Mm. Want to see?”

“Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan, wait for me, I want to talk to you – I need you! See, for whatever reason, I can’t find Jiang Cheng anywhere. Can you help me look –”

Nie Huaisang shut his window before Jiang Cheng could overhear and get distracted.

They were busy.

“All right,” Nie Huaisang said. “I admit it, you’re right.”

Jiang Cheng looked at him. “…you do?”

“I do.”

“Right about…what?”

“About the flirting, and Lan Wangji having tricks,” Nie Huaisang said, nodding wisely. “See, the Lan sect take their rules about their forehead ribbons very seriously. It’s parents, children, and lovers only. So if you ran into Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji entangled on the path near the back mountain, both of them soaking wet, with Lan Wangji’s forehead ribbon wrapped around their wrists…why, that’s practically an elopement!”

Jiang Cheng, predictably, turned purple. “He eloped with my – I’m going to kill him!”

“Have fun with that,” Nie Huaisang said happily, and watched as Jiang Cheng drew his sword and charged, shouting something.

Wei Wuxian attempted to defend their conduct, except apparently their conduct involved finding the ghost of a Lan sect ancestor –

“Did you bow?” Nie Huaisang asked, very unhelpfully. “Both of you? So you’d say you’ve made your bows to the older generation? Have you bowed to heaven and earth yet, too?”

Lan Wangji gave him a death glare, but maybe he should have thought of that before writing to Nie Huaisang’s brother disclosing details about Nie Huaisang’s love life.

“I’m going to kill you!” Jiang Cheng roared.

Nie Huaisang smiled over his fan at Lan Wangji and gave a jaunty little wave.

A few days earlier

“Wait, so, you’re actually together?” Nie Huaisang asked, and Lan Wangji nodded. They were having tea together the way they always did at the middle of the week, a tradition started long ago when their brothers were visiting and being utterly intolerable. Even their long-standing fight with each other would be put aside for mid-week tea. “Well done!”

Lan Wangji’s ears turned a little red. “Mm.” After a few moments, he added, “Mm.”

“No, no, I don’t think you need to worry,” Nie Huaisang said. “He may seem flighty, but he’s very loyal…the Jiang sect might object, though. They can be a bit tetchy about these things.”

Arched eyebrows.

“What do you mean, how would I know? Have you somehow missedthat I’ve been trying to snag Jiang Cheng all summer? There are more things in this world than Wei Wuxian’s waistline, shapely as it may be.”

Eyes narrowing.

“…don’t you dare tell my brother!”

A smirk, not that anyone else – excluding Lan Xichen – would know.

“I don’t care about your ‘appropriate conduct’! If you tell my brother that I’m dating instead of studying, I’ll find a way to make your life miserable, too! Just you wait!”

#mdzs #jiang cheng #nie huaisang #lan wangji #wei wuxian #my fic #my fics #honor defended

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ouyangzizhensdad · 3 years

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What keeps stumping me is this: LWJ takes WWX to the Cloud Recesses to protect him from JC, then, when they leave with the arm, he keeps dragging him back when WWX tries to escape to, again, protect him from JC... But then, after the Xinglu Ridge, he lets him go and trusts that WWX will meet him back at the inn. Why? And anyway, what was he planning to do, drag WWX around all his life? He had duties, he couldn't have followed WWX himself to provide protection, so it would have been exactly [1/2]

that — dragging him around or leaving him shielded behind the walls of the Cloud Recesses. In theory, if "MXY" became a Lan disciple, JC couldn't have touched him... But LWJ knew who "MXY" was and that WWX would mostly refuse, like he did multiple times before. It's great that after WWX realizes LWJ doesn't intend to harm or punish him, he goes along willingly — but what if he didn't? What then? JC was still out there, after all. [2/2]

Hi anon,

I think it's a little bit of a stretch to imagine LWJ's plan was to just keep 'dragging' WWX along forever. They arrived in the CR, spent one night there, and the next day LWJ was busy with the arm which was of course a priority. What would have happened if the Lans had been able to suppress the resentful energy of the arm on that day, and LWJ had not felt the responsibility to leave to solve the mystery? It's hard to say. But now that they were in a place that was safe, and that there wouldn't have been another matter that would have taken priority, I don't think it's far fetched to believe that LWJ would have discussed things with WWX or put into place a way to bring him to a safe place outside of the CR if he did not want to stay. Considering his grief over his mother, and her situation, as well as his care for WWX’s welfare, I’m wary to believe his gameplan could ever be just ‘guess I’ll keep WWX in the CR, even if against his will, forever, bc jc is out there’.

I think it's important as well to remember that regardless of LWJ's motives, WWX does not choose to remain with him because of the protection LWJ can provide him, or simply because he suddenly decided to trust him out of a single demonstration of trustworthiness.

Even before they left the CR, WWX's words and actions revealed he was attached to and protective of LWJ--even as a crisis is occurring, his thoughts keep going back to LWJ, and whether he is okay:

When the bell of the watchtower started ringing on its own, it only meant one thing—that an accident happened to the people performing the summoning ritual inside. [...]

Seeing that Lan Wangji did not appear, Wei Wuxian had a foreboding feeling. If Lan Wangji were still in the Cloud Recesses, he would have hurried over immediately, as he heard the alarming chimes of the bell, unless…

Suddenly, the black door burst open with a bang. A white-clothed disciple rushed outside, staggering and stumbling.

[...]

Wei Wuxian grabbed his hand at once, speaking in a low voice, “Which being’s spirit are you summoning? Who else is inside? Where’s Hanguang-jun?!”

It seemed as if the disciple had trouble breathing, “Hanguang-jun told me to run away…”

[...]With the hastily created bamboo flute still by his waist, he went up the stairs in just a few strides. He kicked the door of the mingshi and commanded, “Open!”

WWX is the one who offers to go with LWJ, but of course we know it was because he thought it would be an opportunity to get away.

The few nodded, “Okay! Are you going to travel down the mountain?”

Lan Wangji gave a slight nod. Wei Wuxian had already stealthily shifted behind him, talking to himself in a loud, cheerful way, “Yes, yes, yes, we can finally get off this mountain and elope together!”

[...] Wei Wuxian originally wanted to sneak away during their expedition off the mountain. However, even though he attempted to run away multiple times, it always ended with Lan Wangji carrying him back with one hand holding the back of his collar. He changed his strategy, sticking to Lan Wangji as hard as he could. At night, especially, he would persistently climb into Lan Wangji’s bed, with the intention that Lan Wangji would become disgusted and use his sword to throw him away. Despite this, no matter how hard he messed around, Lan Wangji steadily stood his ground. Whenever Wei Wuxian wriggled into his blankets, he would use a light slap to make Wei Wuxian’s body rigid, and then stuff him into the other set of blankets in a proper position, where he would remain until daylight broke. Wei Wuxian suffered a ton of losses and complaint about his sore body after he woke up. He could not help but think: Now that he grew up, he also became less fun than before. In the past, he would become shy whenever he was teased, not to mention that he did it in quite an amusing way. But now, not only does he remain unmovable no matter what, he even learned how to counterattack. How can this be?!

However, in the same chapter, as they have spent more time together, WWX starts hating the idea of being separated from LWJ, although he cannot yet put into words why he feels this way:

After walking for some distance, Wei Wuxian unintentionally turned around and looked. Lan Wangji was behind him, still standing at the same place, staring toward his direction.

Wei Wuxian could not help but slow his footsteps.

He could not tell why, but he vaguely felt that he should not walk so fast, should not be leaving Lan Wangji behind like this.

We can also to a degree concur that WWX already feels safe enough around LWJ to seek him as a source of safety and comfort when faced with a dog, which happens a lot during the Xinglu Ridge arc, to the point that he unconsciously calls for him when JC sics Fairy on him while LWJ is away. WWX is also protective of LWJ in his own way even at that point:

Wei Wuxian immediately understood whose name he had unconsciously called out.

“It really is quite curious how far he went to protect you,” Jiang Cheng smiled menacingly, “back on Dafan Mountain.”

A moment later, he corrected himself, “No. You weren’t necessarily the one whom Lan Wangji was protecting. After all, the GusuLan Sect couldn’t have forgotten what you did with that loyal dog of yours. How could someone so celebrated for his righteousness tolerate the likes of you? Maybe he’s familiar with this body that you stole instead.”

His words were cruel and sinister. Every sentence seemed well-meaning on the surface, but was actually derogatory. Wei Wuxian could not bear with it any longer.

“Watch your language.”

“I’ve never cared for such things, don’t you remember?” Jiang Cheng responded,

“Oh, right.” Wei Wuxian mocked.

Although WWX tells LWJ that he would meet him back after they separated, he could have easily chosen not to do it. After all, compared to all the tricks he tried to flee before, it would have been nothing to go back on this 'promise'. He was in a forest, at night, where no one but JL knew he was. He could have left at any time. And when LWJ left, he knew this--that WWX would potentially not come back, hence why his expression is so shaken after having waited hours for WWX to return (now we can wonder how long he would have stayed on that bridge, waiting, hoping). But, again, solving the mystery of the arm took priority over ensuring WWX's safety (and, considering WWX managed to be discovered and taken by JC during these few hours, it's not like his fears were unfounded).

While WWX seems to realise that LWJ is on his side, there is no big moment of thinking "he doesn't want to punish/harm me". Likewise, there is no considerations of how JC could be looking for him after his escape and the dangers inherent in that. It seems almost like another unconscious decision.

He had always thought that Jiang Cheng would be on his side, and Lan Wangji on the side opposite to him. He could never have imagined that things would turn out so differently.

Wei Wuxian walked toward the rendezvous point where he and Lan Wangji were supposed to meet. Nobody walked among the sparse lights that flickered in the night. Without having to look around, a white-robed figure stood at the end of the street, standing motionless with his head hung low.

In conclusion, WWX would have never stayed alongside LWJ (or anyone else for that matter) simply for protection. As well, it is extremely unlikely that LWJ's thought process at this point of the narrative was 'I'll just drag WWX along for the rest of our lives''--but that the arm took priority over resolving the conundrum around WWX's safety, and that indeed, when the situation presented itself, he put first what I'll call his night hunting duties for a lack of a better term while taking the risk that WWX would decide to leave on his own. Is it the most 'healthy' way of approaching the situation? Honestly, I don't care. Instead I think it’s much more important to wonder: is it coherent with the characterisation, the characters' motivations and the unfolding of the plot?

#mdzs meta #mdzs #wwx #lwj #wangxian

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bloody-bee-tea · 4 years

Text

JC Love Month 2020 Day 7

Family’s Obligation

Day 7 of JC Love Month brings some modern Lan Qiren feels, who doesn’t even try to hide that Jiang Cheng is his favourite student. Warning for some shitty, shitty parenting from JFM and YZY, I guess.

Jiang Cheng is sitting in Headmaster Lan Qiren’s office and he really wishes he could be anywhere else.

“Are you in pain?” Lan Qiren asks him and Jiang Cheng looks down at his bandaged wrists.

The nurse thinks it’s broken, so she recommended a trip to the hospital to get it checked out even though she already bandaged it and Jiang Cheng is just waiting for his parents to pick him up.

Or at least Lan Qiren is waiting for that.

Jiang Cheng knows better than to expect them to come for him.

“It’s okay,” Jiang Cheng says, even though it’s still throbbing painfully.

Lan Qiren seems to be able to look right through him, because he gets up and hands Jiang Cheng another cold compress. Jiang Cheng doesn’t even know where he got it from, but he gratefully takes it anyway.

“You should speak the truth if you are in discomfort or pain,” Lan Qiren chastises him as he sits back down and Jiang Cheng shrugs.

It’s not like people in his household usually care much if he’s hurt or not, his siblings not counting.

And speaking of siblings—

“Where’s Wei Wuxian?” Jiang Cheng asks and he thinks that he can see a vein throb on Lan Qiren’s temple.

“That hellion ran away after what he did,” Lan Qiren presses out and Jiang Cheng is just about to protest, because there was a whole gang of Jin’s after him, when Lan Qiren pinches the bridge of his nose. “And it was probably the smart thing to do as well,” he sighs. “Still, he’ll have to come in eventually and I’ll have to punish him for what he did.”

Jiang Cheng would protest that as well—Wei Wuxian was only defending him after all, and he was not the first one to throw a punch—but Jin Zixun has been kicked out of the school, so whatever punishment Wei Wuxian will get, it will probably be a lot better than that.

“Thank you for kicking Jin Zixun out,” Jiang Cheng mutters and Lan Qiren levels him with a look.

“He attacked three different students, was entirely disrespectful towards your sister and your brother, seriously injured you, threatened your family and broke so many rules that I won’t bother reciting them all now. Of course I wouldn’t tolerate that.”

“And Wei Wuxian—?” Jiang Cheng dares to ask, because Lan Qiren seems to be in a talkative mood at the moment.

“As much as I don’t like him and his insolvent behaviour I have to admit that it was good of him to stand up for you and Jiang Yanli. He certainly has the right values, unlike other people in this school,” Lan Qiren spits out and it’s no secret that he holds no love for the Wen or Jin heirs.

“He’ll have to copy the rules,” Lan Qiren says after a moment of deliberation and Jiang Cheng raises his eyebrow.

That seems like a very lenient punishment, especially coming from Lan Qiren.

“I guess Wangji will have to oversee it,” Lan Qiren goes on and suddenly Jiang Cheng’s eyes burn.

Everyone in this school knows that Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are so very desperately in love with each other and it must have reached Lan Qiren’s ears as well.

This is no punishment at all. It’s a reward.

And since Lan Qiren holds no love for Wei Wuxian this must be a reward for Wei Wuxian because he came to Jiang Cheng’s defence.

It’s like an unspoken secret that Lan Qiren holds a soft spot for Jiang Cheng, even though Jiang Cheng himself could never figure out why the hell that would be the truth, but it seems like everyone else was right. Jiang Cheng never dared to believe it, even when Lan Qiren checks in him personally at least once a week, and when Jiang Cheng’s parents forgot to pick him up, Jiang Cheng got to do his homework in Lan Qiren’s office.

Still, Jiang Cheng always thought he was just being a decent person to a sad, lost boy, but it seems like everyone was in fact right when they say that Jiang Cheng is Lan Qiren’s favourite.

“Thank you,” Jiang Cheng whispers and Lan Qiren strokes his goatee, clearly uncomfortable with Jiang Cheng’s expression of gratitude.

“Where are your parents?” he asks instead of letting the moment turn more awkward than it already way, and every warm feeling flees Jiang Cheng’s body.

He had called them from the infirmary, but he hadn’t reached them. Jiang Cheng suspects that they chose to ignore him, rather than missed his call, because he called both his parent’s work phones.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “I couldn’t reach them.”

“Are they at home?” Lan Qiren demands to know and Jiang Cheng shrugs.

He hasn’t seen either of his parents for the past few days, but he’s not going to mention that to Lan Qiren now.

“I think they are at work. There is some big deal going down if I’m not mistaken,” Jiang Cheng finally says and Lan Qiren nods, though he seems anything but happy about it.

“I see,” he says and then reaches for the phone.

It’s enough to startle Jiang Cheng into motion, because if Lan Qiren calls them then his parents will think Jiang Cheng did something wrong and he doesn’t want to hear their reaction to that.

“Please, don’t,” he says, before Lan Qiren can dial a number and he freezes in his movement.

“What?” he asks.

“Don’t call them. I can just go home by bus, it’s no problem,” Jiang Cheng desperately tries.

“You’re supposed to go to the hospital, not home,” Lan Qiren sternly tells him and then simply dials the number.

“They won’t come,” Jiang Cheng mutters, and Lan Qiren’s eyes snap to him.

“Headmaster Lan, what did Wei Wuxian do now?” Madam Yu’s voice rings out from the speaker and Jiang Cheng tries his best to melt into the seat.

“This is about your son,” Lan Qiren says and there’s a beat of silence.

“What did he do?” Madam Yu asks and whereas she sounded annoyed the first time, there’s real anger in her voice now.

“He got hurt,” Lan Qiren says with a frown and Madam Yu sighs.

“Is he alright?” she asks, and Jiang Cheng’s hand clenches around the cold compress.

His wrist hurts, and with his luck it’s more damaged than just bruised, and his mother is not going to care beyond the fact that he can’t work at his intern job in the company.

“His wrist got injured. A trip to the hospital is advisable,” Lan Qiren tells her.

“If it’s only his wrist, he can take the bus. My son is not so weak that he needs to be coddled. He can take care of himself. He better got that by beating someone else up,” Madam Yu says and Jiang Cheng wishes she would stop talking.

“Madam Yu!” Lan Qiren says in outrage but Madam Yu doesn’t seem to care that much.

“Is he there?” she asks and Lan Qiren expectantly looks at Jiang Cheng.

“Yes, mother,” he dutifully says.

“What happened?” she asks and Jiang Cheng tries to hide his wince but going by the twitch in Lan Qiren’s brow he doesn’t know how successful he is.

“Jin Zixun said something mean to Yanli so I tried to make him stop,” he sums it up and Jiang Cheng goes cold at the answering silence.

“And?” Madam Yu icily asks after a moment.

“And then Jin Zixun almost broke my wrist,” Jiang Cheng goes on.

“Wei Wuxian?” Madam Yu wants to know and Jiang Cheng shrinks even more in on himself.

“Came to my help.”

“Is he hurt?”

“Not that I know of,” Jiang Cheng says and he knows what’s coming next.

“Then you are not, either. I expect you at work later this afternoon,” Madam Yu says and Jiang Cheng hangs his head.

“Yes, mother,” he agrees and Madam Yu hangs up without another word.

There’s only the beeping sound for a horrible long time and then Lan Qiren lets out a long, long breath.

“Does that mean she’s not coming?” he then asks, voice carefully controlled and Jiang Cheng nods miserably.

“Your father?” Lan Qiren asks then and Jiang Cheng is quick to shake his head.

“He will go looking for Wei Wuxian, claiming that it’s more important since we know that I am fine, but the same can’t be said about Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng predicts and is very grateful when Lan Qiren doesn’t pick up the phone to verify.

“Is it always like that?” Lan Qiren carefully asks and Jiang Cheng is very ashamed when he bursts into tears.

But it’s just all too much; the whole day has been a rollercoaster of emotions starting with the anger towards Jin Zixun and the adrenalin and then he got hurt and Wei Wuxian came to his rescue and now this whole mess.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to handle any of this at all.

He startles badly when someone awkwardly pats his shoulder but when he realizes that it’s just Lan Qiren he almost leans into him. Jiang Cheng wonders which one of them feels more awkward about this, but he can’t bring himself to care, at least not right now.

“Jiang Wanyin, is it always like that?” Lan Qiren asks again and this time Jiang Cheng nods.

“I haven’t seen either of them for a couple of days. I know they are home sometimes, but mother goes to talk to Yanli and father goes to talk to Wei Wuxian and then there’s simply no time for me. Father would drop everything to search the whole town for Wei Wuxian but driving me to the hospital would be a chore. Caring for me is an obligation neither of them know how to handle, and by now I am not expecting anything anymore,” it bursts out of Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t get much for his position as an intern, but what he gets he saves. When he turns eighteen he’ll be out of his family home immediately and he doesn’t think his parents will notice for at least a week.

It’s a thought Jiang Cheng tries to push very far away.

Lan Qiren is very quiet at his side and Jiang Cheng is afraid to even look at him, too scared to see what his reaction is to that, so when Lan Qiren puts his hand more firmly on his shoulder, Jiang Cheng is startled.

“Get up, we’re driving to the hospital,” Lan Qiren says and Jiang Cheng is left staring after him, because immediately after his declaration Lan Qiren left the office, talking to his secretary.

Jiang Cheng isn’t entirely sure how he ended up in Lan Qiren’s car, but he’s there before he can gather a coherent thought.

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” Jiang Cheng says as Lan Qiren already starts the car and Lan Qiren silences him with a look.

That does nothing to Jiang Cheng. Madam Yu is his mother, he’s used to much worse.

“Really, you must be busy. There must be other things you need to do,” Jiang Cheng insists, but Lan Qiren shakes his head.

“There is nothing more important than making sure that you are alright, do you understand me?” he wants to know and Jiang Cheng has nothing else to say to that, so they spent the rest of the drive to the hospital in a tense silence.

Lan Qiren stays by his side through the whole examination and when the doctor asks Jiang Cheng if it’s okay to tell him the results in front of Lan Qiren who is neither a parent nor a guardian, Jiang Cheng simply nods.

Lan Qiren feels very much like both of these things in the moment and Jiang Cheng is not at all sure how to deal with that.

“Your wrist is broken,” the doctor tells him then and Jiang Cheng slumps, because of course it is.

Nothing can ever be easy for him.

They put a cast on his arm and then Jiang Cheng is back in Lan Qiren’s car, when Jiang Cheng’s phone rings.

He accepts the call when he sees that it’s Wei Wuxian.

“Where are you?” is the first thing Wei Wuxian asks him and Jiang Cheng snorts much to Lan Qiren’s dislike it seems.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Jiang Cheng gives back but Wei Wuxian sounds worried and Jiang Cheng is not liking it.

“Listen, I managed to run away from the Jins but I had an encounter with Wen Chao,” Wei Wuxian says and Jiang Cheng winces.

Wen Chao is nothing more than a slimy bastard, but he always has Wen Zhuliu around and he’s a real piece of work.

“Are you alright?” Jiang Cheng asks, because of course Wei Wuxian would go straight from the fire into the frying pan.

“A little roughed up. Got a nice shiner. Do you think Lan Zhan will kiss it better?” Wei Wuxian asks and Jiang Cheng wonders if Lan Qiren will pop a vein with how angry he seems at hearing that.

“What do I care?” Jiang Cheng gives back, but if Wei Wuxian is hurt, he can guess where this is going.

“A-Cheng, I don’t think you should be coming home today,” Wei Wuxian says just on cue and of course.

His father thinks it’s Jiang Cheng’s fault Wei Wuxian got hurt, and his mother thinks the opposite, so they are fighting again.

“Bad?” Jiang Cheng wants to know even though he damn well knows the answer.

“I’m going to stay with Wen Qing tonight, and shijie is with Jin Zixuan, so—,” Wei Wuxian trails off and that means it’s more than bad.

“Fine, I’ll find a place to stay,” Jiang Cheng sighs, even though dread curls in his gut.

He’s not quite as lucky as Wei Wuxian or Jiang Yanli with his friends. His only real friend is Nie Huaisang and he and his brother are out of town at the moment.

Jiang Cheng guesses he could beg Jin Zixuan to let him take the couch but he doesn’t want to ruin his sister’s evening and Jiang Cheng would rather sleep on the streets than room with Wen Qing and Wei Wuxian.

“Take care,” Wei Wuxian says and then simply hangs up on him.

“What was that?” Lan Qiren demands to know and Jiang Cheng startles, because over his own dilemma he almost forgot that they are in his car.

“The usual,” Jiang Cheng tries, but Lan Qiren levels him with a look and Jiang Cheng deflates.

“My father thinks Wei Wuxian’s injury is my fault because I started it, so he is mad at me. My mother can’t stand it when he is mad at me instead of Wei Wuxian, so she gets in these really vicious fights with him and if that happens it’s really best if none of us are home,” Jiang Cheng says with a shrug.

“Where will you stay?” Lan Qiren asks and Jiang Cheng admires him for everything that he so clearly wanted to say and still swallowed.

There’s no way that was his first thought to this.

“Don’t know yet,” Jiang Cheng gets out with a desperate smile. “I’m gonna find a place.”

Lan Qiren looks at him as if he can tell exactly that Jiang Cheng is most likely not going to find a place and then he sighs.

“You’re coming with me,” Lan Qiren decides and Jiang Cheng gapes at him.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“You’re not going to sleep on the streets or whatever you are thinking,” Lan Qiren almost snaps at him as if he’s offended even thinking about it. “I have a guest room and you’re going to use it.”

Jiang Cheng opens his mouth to argue, but then he realizes that there isn’t much he can argue against. It will most likely be awkward as hell, but Jiang Cheng is out of options, so really, what is he going to say to that.

Jiang Cheng tries not to gape when they come to stop in front of a huge house, because this neighbourhood is even nicer than Jiang Cheng’s own, and he only drags his eyes away from the house when Lan Qiren turns towards him.

“Jiang Wanyin,” he starts and Jiang Cheng dreads whatever comes out of his mouth next. “I have a spare key and you’re going to take it,” Lan Qiren tells him then and before Jiang Cheng can protests, a key is being pressed into his uninjured hand.

“What?” Jiang Cheng very dumbly asks but he doesn’t understand what’s happening right now.

“If that is a regular occurrence, I never want you to fret over where you’ll stay,” Lan Qiren says with vehemence. “If you can’t stay at friends of yours, then you’ll come here. I have a spare room and no one who uses it and if I hear you’re sleeping on the streets or something equally outrageous then I’m going to drag you here by your ear.”

Jiang Cheng has to blink very fast at that, because his vision gets blurry and he thinks bursting into tears right now is only going to make Lan Qiren retract his offer.

“And if you ever need a place just to get away from your parents, even for just an hour, you also come here,” Lan Qiren goes on and Jiang Cheng is quick to nod, because if he already accepted, Lan Qiren can’t take it back anymore.

“Alright,” Lan Qiren says and squeezes his shoulder once before he gets out of the car.

He gives Jiang Cheng some time to compose himself, but when he finally follows Lan Qiren into the house and has to use the key to enter, Jiang Cheng bursts into tears again, because a very small part of him thought that maybe Lan Qiren was just fucking with him.

It’s almost not at all awkward when Lan Qiren hugs him, and even if it was, Jiang Cheng wouldn’t mention it.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

It’s really nice to be held.

Next part

#bt writes #jclovemonth2020 #the untamed #mdzs #lan qiren #jiang cheng #modern au #hurt/comfort #bad parents jfm and yzy #best parent lqr #who dotes on jc #as it should be #minor injury

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scarletjedi · 3 years

Text

untitled Untamed time travel au, but make it Mingcheng

@piyo-13

Part 1: The set up

EDIT: Part 2A is up! Link at the bottom!

Okay, so, like I said. Mingcheng. Time travel. Fix-it.

(this is mostly a daydream and less a fic idea in and of itself, so I keep picturing it as a sequel to either Bilateral or shamelesscooper’s stuff - which I think this’ll be. a Spiritual successor)

So. Established Mingcheng as an ongoing, romantic relationship where they both understand that they’re building a relationship, not just a fling. We get A JC who, “canonically” can give NMJ a run for his money while sparring, and will *wear him out* in the bedroom. Like, I write smut, I think this is a *key element* in a top-tier Mingcheng fic (if they aren’t being written as asexual, naturally) and I think this dynamic just ADDS to JC’s budding reputation as a *stone cold badass.*

So, either way, you’ve read it. You know where they are.

To add a bit of angst for spice... Events play out as in canon, up through NMJ’s death. (I don’t think this is where established Mingcheng should go, btw - I think them being together changes events for the better and a lot of that shit is avoided). Broken hearted AGAIN (because lbr, NMJ was there for JC when his world fell apart. Probably even fought a bit - I needed your support! etc...) JC is visited by NHS.

He’s... different than JC remembered. Colder. Distant, but what was ditzy before is now aloof. Like he’s looking into you rather than through you. Nie Huaisang says.

“Jiang-xiong...did you love my brother?”

JC is incensed. How could NHS doubt his love? *JC* is not the one who leaves.

“Jin Guangyao killed him.” It’s the only time NHS says it out loud. “He sent Jin Zixuan to his death at Qiongqi path. He had his accomplice tamper with Wei Wuxian’s music, leading to—”

“Enough,” JC cuts him off. “So you want me to kill him for you?”

“No,” NHS said. “I want him unmade.”

Which - TIME TRAVEL MAGIC BA BOW

NHS sends JC back, but....I think I need something to go wrong. For reasons they use Baxia in the ritual, and NHS is adopting a ritual to send the self back to send JC back, but....

He gets it wrong and sends JC back IN ADDITION to himself

Baxia sends back NMJ

JC’s core sends back WWX

....handwavy some reason I want LWJ to be sent back as well

...and Wen Ning because he’s also tied to WWX and he’s alive but he keeps his ghost powers, I’ll explain later but it’s cool

...to the night before they start at Cloud Recesses

JC is like “alright! It worked! I have NHS’s plan. I rebuilt a sect before so I can totally do this!” ....but then WWX falls out of bed, freaking out and clutching his lower dantain, sobbing and freaking out- (because he’s a: suddenly very alive when he was dead and b: in possession of his golden core. It’s a bit disorienting) and JC is staring at him like: ...wtf? It wouldn’t be the first time WWX had nightmares, but they were about dogs- not whatever this is.

Anyway, then WWX sees JC, and JC can *see* the moment of fear (and that hurts because this WWX should not be afraid of him) and the mask fall and—

Look, JC isn’t stupid. He just time traveled. That look is what he had seen *after sunshot* so—

“What’s the last thing you remember?” JC asks, and the blank look on WWX’s face is *terrible*

“Ahaha...Jiang Cheng, what—“

“It’s nightless city, isn’t it?” (Going with untamed canon).

WWX‘a eyes get big, “Shijie!” And he twists like he’s going to up ans run to her—

“She’s asleep!” JC snapps. “You’ll see her in the morning.”

WWX blinks at him “will I still be here in the morning?”

“Unless NHS really fucked up, we both will be.”

“... What does Huaisang have to do with this?”

“He’s the one that sent me back,” JC said, and cocked his head. “I have no idea why you’re here too.”

And look - WWX isn’t going crazy from resentful energy, but he’s also a traumatized man. He’s thinking clearly but everything is closer to the surface- he flinches. JC knows that flinch- that guilty flinch that says WWX knows but doesn’t want to say.

“Wei Wuxian!”

And now he flinches, but when JC doesn’t lunge for him, WWX looks at him assessingly. “Why aren’t you trying to kill me again?”

“I wasn’t trying to kill you then! I never thought you’d—“ not survive that fall. “Do you know the last thing I remember? What made me agree to come back? Everyone was dead, JGS was insisting on JL spending more time at Koi Tower, and my lover was murdered- murdered by the same man who sent JZX to his death and set you up for his murder, and made you lose control at Nightless city, and a-jie--”

“You had a lover?!”

“Not the point!”

“Who was it? Do I know her?”

“I’m not telling you!”

“Tell me and I’ll tell you why I think I came back too”

“Fine. On three.”

“Fine.”

“One. Two. Three: Nie Mingjue”

“I gave you my core. What do you mean Nie Mingjue?!”

“GAVE ME YOUR WHAT?!”

"Well it's not like you still have it!"

there’s more shouting (with both of them thinking their grievance is more important), and WWX explains and JC rages and lets slip that “what’s the point of distracting the guards if you just throw it away?!” “...what guards? Jiang Cheng you better not mean what I think you mean!” “Or fucking what?!” Eventually, both of them crying, they hug it out. WWX offers to let JC disown him and JC is like “that’s what got us into this mess to begin with. You’re my brother. You’re stuck with me.” And is honestly surprised when WWX is ecstatic.

The next morning Yanli is like “are you okay? There was shouting?”

But they’re like “we’re cool”

Next time: Cloud Recesses and the one braincell trio plan a war

#mingcheng #the untamed #note!fic

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drabbles-mc · 3 years

Text

You Came Back (3/3)

Juice Ortiz x Reader

Request from @ateliefloresdaprimavera: Juice has a special place in my heart, so I'm denying his ending on the show😭 I want to foccus on the nurturing,fluffy and romantic side that he deserves😍 maybe something about Opie and Jax childhood friend who comes back to charming( Gemma always thought of her as her own kid) and she's really closed of emotionaly, bit our boy is smitten from the second he has his eyes on her. so romantic Juice overdrive, and she starts to see this side of life that's worth, by his side

Warnings: language, soft confessions and feelings like whoa

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: The conclusion of this little mini-series! Thanks for the request, I hope you enjoyed it! xo

Chapter Index: Part 1, Part 2

You and Juice became fast friends as the days went by. Jax and Opie would bug you about it when it was just the three of you. They insisted that something more must be going on between the two of you. It was easy to deny it, because it wasn’t true. But you couldn’t deny that Juice did have a little bit of a lost-puppy look whenever he was with you. That boy would follow you anywhere you asked him to.

“You guys have weekly dates now,” Opie said with a laugh, “You’re essentially a couple.”

You shook your head, “They aren’t dates. I don’t know why you guys can’t believe that two people can spend time with each other and not be fucking. That’s a you problem.”

“Fine, whatever,” Jax said with a chuckle, “But he’s definitely a little in love with you.”

You rolled your eyes, “Oh shut up no he is not. He doesn’t even really know me.”

“And whose fault is that?” Opie said before taking a sip of his beer.

It sent a mild jolt of fear through your body when he asked that question. You shook your head, trying to dismiss the topic, “What is this? You guys want me to date him or something?”

“I’d never tell someone to hook up with your crazy ass,” Jax laughed, “But I don’t think he’s interested in taking my advice at this point,” he searched your face, trying to figure out what you were thinking, “You seeing him later?”

You sighed, knowing that answering truthfully was going to invite a bunch of other questions and issues, “Maybe.”

“What’s the big date plan tonight?” Jax’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“Not a date,” you shot him a glare, “We’re just hanging out at his house.”

“His house?” Jax raised his eyebrows.

“Sure as hell not inviting him here,” you laughed and shook your head, “You boys done grilling me about it?” you got up and grabbed your purse and your keys, “I have places to be.”

Jax and Opie stayed seated at the counter, laughing as you pulled your shoes on and got ready to storm out of the house. Opie tilted his bear towards you, “Tell Juice we said hello.”

You didn’t respond, instead just turned and walked out, shutting the door behind you a little harder than necessary. Your thoughts flew through your brain at record speeds as you made your way to Juice’s house. For as much time as the two of you spent together, you never really let him in. You hadn’t even talked to Jax and Opie about how you ended up back in Charming, and you’d known them for as long as you could remember. But Juice never brought it up, not since the first time you two really spoke. You wondered why he was so okay with being kept at arms-length.

When you got to Juice’s house, you let yourself in. He was on the couch, deeply entrenched in his current round of Call of Duty. You smiled and shook your head as you toed off your shoes and made your way over to the couch. He looked over at you for a moment and flashed you a smile before retuning his attention to the television. You sat back and watched, laughing at how worked up he and his friends would get over it.

When the match was over, he took off his headset and turned to you, “Sorry about that.”

You chuckled and shook your head, “You’re fine. Sorry you guys didn’t at least get a win.”

He shrugged it off, “It’s whatever. Still up for pizza and movies?”

You nodded, “Of course!”

The two of you had demolished the pizza you had ordered. All that was left was the empty box where you both were starting to accumulate your empty beer bottles. You were both sitting on opposite ends of the couch. Your legs stretched across the cushions while he rested his feet on the end of the coffee table. His eyes were glued to the television despite the fact that he had seen the movie a million times before. You were trying to stay focused, but your mind kept replaying everything that had been happening over the last few weeks.

“Thank you,” you blurted out.

He looked over at you, clearly confused, “For what?”

You felt your face heating up, “For, you know, not being a total dick,” you chuckled.

He laughed, “That’s a low bar that I’m more than happy to meet.”

“Why are you so okay with being friends with someone you know nothing about?”

His expression softened, “I know enough about you to know that you’re someone that I want in my life,” there was a look in his eyes that let you know that he had his own demons to battle, “And opening up is…hard. I get it.”

A small smile crept across your face, “You this sweet to everyone, Juan Carlos?”

He chuckled, “No.”

You both returned your attention to the television but your chest felt a little lighter. He didn’t look over at you but his hand absently crept over and came to rest on your leg. You smiled, fighting the urge to look at him. Neither of you said anything more as you finished the rest of the movie.

When you got to the office at T-M the next day, there was a coffee waiting for you on your desk. You smiled as you looked at the note that was resting on top of it, “Since I know you had a late night. -JC” You took a sip and chuckled to yourself at the fact that he knew your order. Maybe he really did know a thing or two about you.

Over the course of the next week, almost every morning you came in to something small on your desk. It wasn’t ever anything crazy or extravagant. He’d leave you your favorite candy bar or a snack. One morning you walked in and laughed when you saw that there was a milkshake sitting on your desk. He never mentioned it when he saw you throughout the day, just carrying on a conversation with you as normal.

You walked into the office on Saturday morning and there were two slips of paper waiting for you on your desk. Both had Juice’s handwriting on them. All the first note said was, “Dinner and a movie? -JC” and the second one was a makeshift movie ticket that he had clearly drawn up himself. You couldn’t stop smiling, laughing when you saw that he wrote, “Theater Number: My House”.

You walked over to the shop, knowing that this time you’d have to address what he had left on your desk. For a minute you thought that he was gone doing club business, but then you saw his legs sticking out from underneath a car that he was working on. You smiled as you silently pulled up a stool and sat down to wait for him to finish up whatever he was working on.

The sound of him muttering and cursing drifted out from underneath the car and you accidentally let a laugh slip past your lips. The next sound was a thud, followed by Juice quietly but forcefully saying, “Fuck,” and you had to assume that the thud was the sound of his head smacking against something underneath the vehicle.

He slid out and looked up at you, one hand resting on his forehead, “I didn’t know you were here.”

You chuckled, “I was waiting for you to finish whatever it is you’re doing down there.”

He sat upright, “I should probably take a break anyway.”

Your eyes grew wide when he dropped his hand back down to his side—whatever his head had collided with had put a gash into his forehead, “Jesus Christ, your head.”

“What?” he ran his fingers across and looked at them, sighing when he saw the blood, “Shit.”

You stood up and helped him to do the same before having him sit on the stool, “Wait here. I got some band-aids and stuff in my office.”

You came back to him with your very unofficial and incomplete first-aid kit. You didn’t have much, but you had enough to take care of the cut on his forehead. You gently cleaned it with a damp paper towel before wiping it down with alcohol. He cringed but didn’t say anything.

“You want a regular band-aid or a superhero one?”

He chuckled, “Only if you have Spider-Man in there.”

You dug around the box and pulled one out with a smile, “You’re in luck.”

You were gently smoothing the bandage onto his forehead when you looked down to take in his expression. His eyes were closed and there was a calm smile on his face—you knew he was soaking up the feeling of you taking care of him. Your breath got caught in your throat for a minute and you had to focus on taking a deep breath as you felt your heartbeat pick up speed.

“So,” you cleared your throat, trying to get your composure back, “this doesn’t seem like a hospital-worthy injury. Think you’ll be stable enough for dinner and a movie tonight?”

He opened his eyes and smiled up at you, “You tell me, doc. Think I’ll be alright?”

You chuckled, nodding, “Yea, a night in and plenty of rest might be just the thing you need.”

You let your hand slide down and cup the side of his face for a moment before you caught yourself and nervously took it away. You could tell by the look in Juice’s eye that the gesture wasn’t lost on him. He was right—opening up wasn’t easy, but you felt like you were reaching a point where you had no other choice.

“If Spider-Man doesn’t hold up,” you attempted to redirect the conversation, “come see me. I think I have a Hulk one that will do the trick.”

He smiled at you, “Thanks,” he watched you as you walked back to the office, bringing his hand up to rest where yours had just been.

You didn’t really talk to him for the rest of the day, both of you being wrapped up in your own responsibilities. The closest you came was overhearing the guys making fun of his band-aid. He took the heckling in stride, the way that he always did, and you couldn’t help but to shake your head.

He popped into the office at the end of the day, arms and hands streaked with grease but his head seemed like it hadn’t suffered any more than it did in the morning. “Hey, uh, I gotta head home and shower,” he chuckled, “Because I’m fucking gross right now. But if you want, I can come pick you up later.”

“A chauffer to the movie theater?” you smirked at him from your desk.

He laughed, “Exactly.”

You tapped your pen lightly on the desk a few times, trying to figure out if you were going to say something about all the thoughts that had been racing through your head. You gnawed lightly at the inside of your cheek for a moment before forcing yourself to meet his eyes, “Is this a date?”

His eyes widened for a moment, not expecting the question, “I…um…I mean,” he rested his hand on the back of his neck, “You want it to be?”

“Do you?”

He chuckled, not able to look you in the eyes, “If it was up to me, I would’ve taken you out on a date the first night I met you.”

You felt your heart skip a beat inside your chest, “I got a lot of shit I gotta work through, Juan,” you weren’t expecting your voice to sound so soft.

He smiled at you, his expression always so comforting, “I’m just asking to pick you up for dinner and a movie. That’s all.”

You nodded, feeling a little better, “Right. Yea, okay.”

He nodded and lightly knocked on the doorframe, “I’ll see you later, then,” he flashed you a grin before taking off out the door.

You were sitting on the couch in the living room, trying not to feel too anxious as you waited for Juice to come and pick you up. Your only saving grace was that Jax wasn’t home, so you weren’t going to be bombarded with questions about why Juice was picking you up.

You heard the sound of his bike pulling into the driveway and you practically leapt off the couch. You walked over and out the front door, meeting him on the front steps. He smiled at you, letting out a quiet laugh as you shut and locked the door behind you.

“I’d ask if you’re ready but I feel like I know the answer,” he beamed at you as he handed you his helmet.

The two of you were sat on his couch eating dinner. You had to admit that you were surprised at how well he could cook. You could tell that the air felt a little different, but it was good. It felt like there were so many words resting on the tip of your tongue and you didn’t know where to start.

“What’re you thinking?” Juice asked, a small smile tugging at the edges of his mouth.

You chuckled, not quite knowing where to start, “I really like this,” you gestured between the two of you, “what we’ve been doing. I…I like you a lot. And I know you said not to be sorry about being such a closed fucking book all the time. But I don’t like being like this. I thought I was okay with it but,” you shook your head, “Anyway. I just, fuck. If we’re gonna do this I want you to know what you’re getting into.”

He nodded for you to continue, “So, what am I getting into?”

“I left Charming because I couldn’t stand the thought of being stuck here for the rest of my life. I up and left everything, not that I had much to leave behind,” you shook your head slightly, “But everywhere I went I was still stuck with this shitty feeling of not belonging there. It didn’t matter where I worked, if I made friends, if I was dating someone—I was just haunted by this nagging feeling of being in the wrong place,” you looked at Juice and there was a sadness in his eyes that let you know that he understood exactly where you were coming from, “I ended up getting into some bad shit with the wrong people. It was spiraling out of control fast so…I did what I knew and I packed up my shit and left. I became a new person when I left here and I knew that I could go back to the old me once I got back. Nothing happens in Charming, right?” you let out a dry chuckle as you shook your head.

He waited for you to meet his gaze and he offered up the smallest of smiles, “Well, I wouldn’t say that nothing happens in Charming. You came back, right? I’d say that’s something.”

Your entire body felt warm as you processed what he had said, “I guess.”

“I know the feeling of not being quite right, not being the right person or in the right place. It’s the shittiest feeling,” he took a deep breath, “And it’s a lot to deal with alone. I know you said you got some shit to work through, but that doesn’t mean you have to be alone to do it.”

“Yea?”

He reached over and rested his hand on top of yours, “Yea.”

You hadn’t felt the tears gathering in your eyes, but you melted when you felt Juice reach over to lightly brush them off of your cheeks. His hand lingered on your cheek for a moment and your eyes fluttered shut. It’d been a long time since someone touched you with the intent to take care of you.

“I really wanna kiss you,” his voice was quiet.

Your eyes opened at that and a smile crept across your face, “I really want you to.”

He leaned in and softly pressed his lips against yours, like he was still giving you the chance to pull away and change your mind. That was the furthest thing from your mind, though. You leaned into him and gently grabbed his shirt to pull him flush against you. He cupped your face in both his hands and you could feel him smiling as he kissed you.

He finally had to pull away to let you both catch your breath. You leaned back and your entire face felt hot, a nervous giggle escaped from your lips. He smiled at you, hands entwining with yours. There were a few moments of silence as the two of you took in everything that had just happened.

“We didn’t even get to the movie yet,” he chuckled.

You laughed, “Still up for that?”

He nodded, pulling you closer to him so you could rest against his side, “Of course.”

He wrapped his arms around you and you melted into him as he pulled up a movie for the two of you to watch. You smiled to yourself as you felt his heart racing in his chest. You looked up at him with a smile. When he noticed you staring he laughed, and it made your entire body feel warm.

“I’m glad you came back,” he lightly traced his thumb over your knuckles as he turned his attention to the movie.

You smiled as you looked over at the television, “Yea, me too.”

#soa #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy imagine #soa imagine #juice ortiz #juice ortiz x reader #juice ortiz x you #juice ortiz imagine #juan carlos #juan carlos ortiz #multichapter #chapter 3 #you came back #my writing #fanfiction #jax teller #opie winston #drabblesmc

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hunxi-guilai · 4 years

Note

hi hunxi! there's a thought that keeps bugging me. During the battle at nightless city we can see that wwx doesn't kill yl and jc is clearly there and sees it as well. It may have been all the loss he went through & all the suffering he had to face, but why would he refuse to accept that and blame wwx anyways? Is it because in his mind that would hurt less?(i can't see how that would hurt him less tho) i admit i don't like jc much but i dont get why would he treat wwx so badly when he returns

hi anon! So I think it’s a little more complicated than simply “blaming Wei Wuxian for Jiang Yanli’s death,” because it’s the slow accumulation of a multitude of smaller events that have snowballed into the respective terrible mental states that both Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng are in by the second siege of Nightless City

Jiang Cheng’s eternal frustration with Wei Wuxian emerges from the same question, every time -- why can’t you stop. It’s fun and cutesy during Cloud Recesses summer school, when Jiang Cheng is just constantly rolling his eyes at Wei Wuxian’s oblivious crush on Lan Wangji and being like dude, why can’t you stop riling up the Lans you’re making Yunmeng Jiang look bad but it’s all small-scale stuff, nothing that can’t be smoothed over with a brotherly arm over the shoulder and some mutual teasing

This comes back in an uglier light when we get to the evil counterpart of Cloud Recesses summer school, i.e. Wen indoctrination and the Xuanwu Cave Arc. Here, we see the same issue crop up when Wei Wuxian goes to help a visibly limping Lan Wangji. Jiang Cheng, ever defensive, ever conservative, begs Wei Wuxian to stop sticking his neck out to help other people. They’re not even sure they can protect themselves, because the Wens are making more and more outrageous demands by the second, so Jiang Cheng grabs Wei Wuxian by the elbow in a sunlit clearing, trying to hold him back, and thinks why can’t you stop, don’t you understand that things are different now, don’t you understand that now, your disobedience has real, dangerous consequences that will be visited on both of our heads.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: when it comes to speed, no one can match Wei Wuxian for how swiftly he’ll light himself on fire to save someone else. It’s why we call him a hero; it’s also why his life (the first one, at least) is a tragedy.

And to be someone who loves him -- Jiang Cheng, Jiang Yanli, Lan Wangji -- and have to watch him as he strikes that match to the kindling of his life again and again and again -- it’s terrifying. It’s devastating. It’s incredibly frustrating, because sometimes you just want to grab him by the shoulders and yell at him until he realizes that he’s loved, he’s valued, that he’s worth more to the world sunlit and laughing and alive than he is tragic and doomed and sacrificed.

Right after the fall of Lotus Pier in episode 16, Jiang Cheng screams at Wei Wuxian, wraps his hands around his throat, knocks them both over in an unnamed meadow during the darkest night of their lives (so far. yikes). Tell me why! Jiang Cheng yells at Wei Wuxian, slamming him to the ground. Why did you save them? Are you happy? How many times did I tell you not to play the hero? You should have just let Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan die! What would their deaths have to do with us? You could have just let them die! Why did you stick your neck out for them?

凭什么！Why! Jiang Cheng screams -- the same words he’ll cry and scream and rage at Wei Wuxian with in a haunted temple, almost two decades later.

Why can’t you stop? Jiang Cheng asks, time and time again -- why can’t Wei Wuxian stop antagonizing Lan Wangji, why can’t Wei Wuxian stop sticking his neck out for other people, why can’t Wei Wuxian just keep his head down and stay safe, why does he have to keep doing things that make the people who love him so, so afraid for him as well?

Why can’t Wei Wuxian put down that goddamned flute and pick up Suibian again? Why must Wei Wuxian insist on being so special, so different? Why must Wei Wuxian stick his neck out again, after the war no less, for a bunch of people they don’t even know well? Why can’t Wei Wuxian stop? Why can’t Wei Wuxian just stay safe?

Jiang Cheng tries, tries to get Wei Wuxian to come back to him, to come back with him, so he can finally protect this foolish brave ridiculous wonderful infuriating generous brother who he loves ferociously. He visits Wei Wuxian in the Burial Mounds; he brings Jiang Yanli to him before her wedding. Jiang Cheng does everything short of telling Wei Wuxian that he needs him, which also means that Wei Wuxian -- filled and overfilled with his own self-perceived guilt for the disasters visited on the Jiang Sect -- doesn’t understand that Jiang Cheng wants Wei Wuxian to come back, burden or no. Wei Wuxian thinks he’s doing Jiang Cheng a favor; Jiang Cheng thinks that Wei Wuxian is rejecting him. Jiang Cheng can’t understand why Wei Wuxian won’t listen to reason for his own good, Wei Wuxian doesn’t consider his own good to be that all that important.

so when it comes to the actual worst night of their lives in Nightless City, when both of them are equally powerless in protecting Jiang Yanli from the sword to her back, the sword to her heart, it’s painfully easy for me to see why Jiang Cheng fucking snaps and shoves Wei Wuxian away. How many times did he tell Wei Wuxian to stop being the hero, to stop standing up for other people, to stop sticking his neck out for others when Wei Wuxian can’t even protect himself or the ones he loves? How many times did he beg Wei Wuxian to do less, to pick fewer battles, to narrow the focus of his vast reservoirs of empathy down to the people closest to him, the people who needed him most? How many times did Wei Wuxian refuse to listen, did Wei Wuxian insist that he had it all under control?

Why is it that Jiang Cheng has to pay for Wei Wuxian’s noble sacrifices?

(because every time, Jiang Cheng feels like he does -- he’s the one who’s always there to 收尸 pick up after Wei Wuxian, the one who has to smooth things over with the other sect leaders, the one who has to go on alone. Jiang Cheng keeps being left behind by those he loves and he’s so fucking sick of it)

all of which is a very long, roundabout way of saying: Jiang Cheng knows that Wei Wuxian was not the person who plunged the sword into Jiang Yanli’s heart. But all the factors that led to this convergence of events -- the whole confrontation at Nightless City, the fact that Wei Wuxian just killed the brother of the man who stabbed Jiang Yanli, the fact that Jiang Yanli died because she was protecting Wei Wuxian -- everything about the situation around them revolves unerringly around the gravity point of Wei Wuxian.

It’s not Wei Wuxian’s fault that the sects have selected him as scapegoat, as sacrificial lamb, on this night of all nights. It’s not Wei Wuxian’s fault that Jiang Yanli ran into the middle of a melee to look for him. It’s not Wei Wuxian’s fault that a sword found its way to Jiang Yanli’s heart.

But if Wei Wuxian hadn’t tried to protect the Wen refugees; if Wei Wuxian had just behaved like a normal cultivator instead of riling up the other sects with his uncanny new cultivation techniques; if Wei Wuxian could have just kept his mouth shut for once; if Wei Wuxian hadn’t stuck his neck out for Lan Wangji all those years ago...

It’s years of frustration finally breaking the dam for Jiang Cheng, because he told him, he told Wei Wuxian so many times, and now look what’s happened

They’ve both lost the best person in their lives, and everything around them screams Wei Wuxian’s name.

#listen... it's... frustrating #it's not great #it's not logical #but sometimes emotions rule so much more of our minds than we'd like it to #sometimes the reality of your emotions will bend the reality of truth and knowledge #and it's difficult to extricate them from each other #am I frustrated with Jiang Cheng? yes #am I also frustrated with Wei Wuxian? holy shit yes #it's more than a rock and a hard place for the two of them #it's a goddamned booby trapped labyrinth #and every single wall is closing in on this moment #anyway #ask and ye shall receive #Jiang Cheng #Wei Wuxian #ep 32 #ep 16

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moon-spirit-yue · 3 years

Text

Camp Chaos

(See the description if you’re confused I put it under the Camp Chaos tag)

Part 1/5

Raya groaned at the beeping of her alarm clock, effectively waking her up. There is truly no sound more hideous than that of an alarm. Despite every instinct in her body screaming at her to snuggle back into the blankets, she walks out of bed to put on her clothes for the day. ‘Maybe staying up until 3:00 am wasn’t the best idea,’ Raya thought absently.

Benja was already making breakfast for the two of them. The delicious smell was making Raya’s mouth water in anticipation.

“Morning, dewdrop! Are you ready for the first day of camp?” Bejna asked brightly. All he got was a groan in response. He laughed and served the exhausted girl her breakfast.

“Maybe if you weren’t up all night playing Mario Kart on your phone, you would be a little more awake,” her ba laughed. “But Ba! You don’t understand! I had to finish the courses!” Raya exclaimed in her defense.

“Oh so you have time to finish Mario Kart courses but no time for driving courses? Interesting, ” he grinned. Raya pouted as she finished her breakfast. “I’ll wait for you in the car. Hopefully by then you can stop being so RUDE to your only child!” she exclaimed, stomping into the car. She should probably start working on that driver's permit soon though.

Raya fell asleep on the ride over so it felt like no time had passed when they arrived at camp. Raya leapt out of the car immediately to find her only joy in this nightmare, her best friend Sisu. Raya was able to spot her light blue hair from a mile away, and walked over to greet her. And by greeting her, she meant collapse on her.

“You were totally up all night playing Mario Kart on your phone, weren’t you my ray of sunshine?” Sisu asked while laughing. Raya whined and buried her head further into Sisu. “You don’t realize the addiction Sisu, I was too invested!” Raya replied. Sisu cackled and brought a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder.

“Well are you ready for camp? You have first grade girls right? They’re usually pretty cute and there’s only six of them so you shouldn’t go too insane,” Sisu attempted to comfort Raya. She nodded in response. “I forgot what group you have, remind me who you got,” Raya told her blueberry bestie. “I have third grade boys this year,” Sisu said happily. Raya couldn’t help but snort at that response.

“Yeah good luck with that. Let’s hope they don’t make you cry this year,” Raya laughed. (this actually happened the year before last a close acquaintance of mine was literally crying and so was the other counselor and JC I felt so bad for her but it was so funny)

Sisu laughed and shook her head. “That won’t happen this week Raya! I’ve got a good feeling about this group!” Raya rolled her eyes at that. “You say that about every group, Sisu,” Raya chuckled. Sisu nodded in agreement. “And I’m always right. Now let’s head down to the ampitheatre, the kids are going to get dropped off soon,” Raya nodded and followed Sisu out of the cafeteria and down to the ampitheatre.

“Oh I need to tie my shoe real quick, I’ll meet you down there” Raya told her. Sisu nodded and walked on by herself. Raya bent down and tied her shoe when she saw a shadow cast over her.

“Well would you look at that. Camp hasn’t even started and you’re already on your knees. Funny how that works isn’t it?” Raya knew that voice. She dreaded hearing it. It was the voice of Namaari.

Raya took a deep breathe and finishes tying her shoe. “Oh I’m sure you’d love me for me to be on my knees wouldn’t you binturi?” Raya asked, smirking. She knew how to push Namaari’s buttons like no other. And she would say whatever it took to get her through this week.

Namaari scoffed and rolled her eyes, irritation clearly spiking. ‘Good,’ Raya thought. ‘That’ll teach you, you beautiful binturi- wait did I just think beautiful? You know what that’s a problem for another day’ she thinks and mentally erases the thought from her brain.

“I don’t even know if you’re capable of watching your language long enough to take care of these kids,” Namaari said once she recovered from Raya’s jab. Raya scowled and started moving towards where her group is supposed to be. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of a small group of six year olds” Raya snarked back. Before Namaari could try to correct her, the kids came rushing in and they both had to put on their counselor acts on.

Raya had six first grade girls in total. The first portion of the day went on without a hitch. The girls were still a bit shy, but slowly warmed up to each other over the first couple of hours. By the time it was lunch, they were excitedly talking about going to the pool right. Raya couldn’t help but smile at their innocent and positive energy. “Alright girls, let’s head down to the pool,” Raya said, gathering their attention.

On of Raya’s campers noticed Raya wasn’t wearing and bathing suit, “Raya where’s your bathing suit?” Raya shrugged and simply stated that she wouldn’t be swimming because of the cold weather. She gathered the little girls to head down to the pool and waited outside the gates when she heard the most annoying voice in all of Kumandra speak.

“Where’s the bathing suit Raya? Scared of a bit of water?” Namaari teased, arriving with the first grade boys. Raya mentally groaned at her arrival. Of course this binturi was going to ruin her vibes. “I am not SCARED of the water it is freezing out here! I don’t understand how you can stand to be in a bathing suit right now,” Raya said, rolling her eyes.

Namaari just smirked. “Just one more way I’m better than you, dep la,” she said, obviously taunting Raya. Raya scowled and turned to her JC. “Watch the kids, I’m getting my bathing suit” she snapped. The little girls cheered as Raya rushed off to change.

Raya couldn’t help but stare at Namaari’s muscles being shown through her bathing suit. Raya was very smug to see Namaari checking Raya out in her bikini. Neither called the other girl out on their staring and just admired the view.

After playing mermaids with the first grade girls, one of Raya’s campers decided to wake up and choose competition because she yelled with no hesitation, “I bet Raya is faster at swimming than Namaari!” The girls obviously back her up while the first grade boys argued that Namaari was the superior swimmer. “Only one way to find out. Care for a friendly challenge Raya?” Namaari asked, grinning in an almost wicked way.

Raya rolled her eyes but nodded anyways. “I just hope you won’t be too upset when you lose, dep la,” Raya giggled. Namaari smirked and simply lined up on the wall.

A little boy form Namaari’s grouo started the count down. “Three, two, one, GO!” and the two were off, swimming with all their might. They were neck and neck, when suddenly a floaty landed right in front of both of them, blocking their path to the end of the pool. Their campers groaned at the abrupt end of the race when the life guards blew the whistle to signal everyone to get dried off.

“Saved by the whistle, weren’t you Namaari?” Raya asked grinning. Namaari snorted and rolled her eyes. “If anyone should be thankful for that bell it should be you Raya, I was about to win that race and you know it.” They continued their bickering until they walked back to their cabins.

One of the little girls grinned mischievously at Raya which made the eighteen year old girl feel very nervous. “Soooooo Raya, do you have a crush on Namaari?” She asked giggling. Raya gaped at the child with burning red cheeks. “I absolutely do NOT LIKE NAMAARI-“ she yelled in her defense as the girls kept on yelling how she totally did like Namaari. Raya groaned and thought of a way out of this mess.

“Who wants to go to arts and crafts?!” Raya yelled. The girls cheered in excitement and raced off to make some crafts. After the excitement of crafts, Raya rallied the girls to get their stuff together and head home for the day.

Once all of the children had gone, Raya crawled into Sisu’s car and whined, “Kids are such a handful I don’t know how I’ll survive four more days of this.”

“You’re just mad because a bunch of first graders called out your crush on Namaari” Sisu grinned. Raya bolted up right in her seat and friend at her blue haired buddy. “I do not have a crush on Namaari! I don’t know where those kids could have possibly gotten that idea,” she snapped.

Sisu nodded reassuringly. “Whatever you say Raya, whatever you say. Let’s go back to my place and eat some ice cream. You’ll feel better afterwards.” All Raya could do was nod in agreement and get whisked away to Sisu’s place. Raya closed her eyes and listened to the music blaring from the car, praying with all her might that the week will end before she strangled that stupidly attractive binturi.

(Guys I really hope this is adequate I am EXHAUSTED so I made so many spelling errors I promise I’ll fix them tomorrow but tonight I am hitting the hay I shall see you guys later)

#raya and the last dragon #ratld #rayaari #raymaari #rayamaari #ratld namaari #ratld raya #raya namaari #raya of heart #raya disney #disney raya #namaari x raya #namaari of fang #raya and namaari #namaari #raya x namaari #Camp Chaos

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jiangwanyinscatmom · 3 years

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I found this on Instagram and honestly, I wanna ask why???? One would think that threatening your supposed brother with his worst fear would be enough for people to understand that JC is not a good person

"Well well, the YiLing Laozu has died? Who was the one to kill him?”

“Who would have other than his shidi, Jiang Cheng, he put an end to his own brother for the greater good. (Jiang Cheng certainly DID tell the world this even though the seal was what ended Wei Wuxian).

Jiang Cheng led the Sects YunmengJiang (He also DID do this since he knew exactly where the wen settlement was and slaughtered civilian Wens with The Jins), LanlingJin, GusuLan, and QingheNie (Now, we all know as the story tells us these other two were in the wings compared to the leading forces) to destroy his hole, at Burial Mound.”

However, there was a nagging thought which stayed in the back of everyone’s mind; Nobody could summon Wei WuXian’s fragmented soul, though he had died at Burial Mound.

Perhaps it had been torn apart by the thousands of ghosts that devoured him. (Cue Wei Wuxian "let's make one thing clear, I killed me thank you")

Or, just maybe, it had escaped. (Cue Q-conspiracy Jiang Cheng "WEI WUXIAN I'LL FIND YOUR SOUL AND DESTROY IT)

If it was the first, then all was well. Nobody doubted the fact that the YiLing Laozu had the power to move mountains and empty seas. But, if it escaped, his soul would eventually return to be reborn, or possess a body. If that day came, the cultivation world, the whole world, would be faced with the most crazed damnations and vengeance, sinking into nothing but chaos and blood. (Oh hey look early foreshadowing for Jiang Cheng's M.O. for a whole thirteen years because he went obsessive).

To add on to that point above:

A moment ago, Jiang Cheng was certain that this person was Wei WuXian, and all of the blood in his body started to boil. Yet, now, Zidian was clearly telling him that he wasn’t. Zidian definitely wouldn’t deceive him or make a mistake, so he quickly calmed himself and thought, this doesn’t mean anything. I should first find an excuse to take him back and use every possible method to get information out of him. It’s impossible for him to not confess anything or give himself away. I’ve done things like this in the past anyways. After thinking it through, he made a gesture. The disciples understood his intentions and came over. (Jiang Cheng in his own head, in his own MIND says he is gonna set his disciples to drag away someone he suspects of being Wei Wuxian and has done this before enough times for his disciples to know the gig and let him torture away at Lotus Pier. THE MAN SAID IT HIMSELF AND MADE IT FACT AS LAN JINGYI DAYS LATER AND IS NOTORIOUS FOR BEING A PSYCHO TORTURER OF RANDOS).

That infamous meeting:

Wei WuXian immediately raised his head, “I haven’t forgotten! It’s just that…”

Yet, he just couldn’t find the right words to put after it.

Jiang Cheng interrupted, “It’s just what? You can’t say it? Don’t worry, you can go back to Lotus Pier and say your excuses while kneeling in front of my parents’ graves.” (YEAH GEEZ, just wants TEA with his estranged cut off Shixiong not brother and never was a brother cause martial is not the damn same as relatives, never mind that Wei Wuxian doesn't want that and definitely doesn't want to after Jiang Cheng insults Lan Wangji's entire person.)

Bonus:

Seeing Jiang Cheng turn around, Wei WuXian immediately pulled a mixed expression of “ I’m so shocked, my secret has been disclosed,” and “what do I do now that Wen Ning has been found”. Jin Ling was actually quite clever. Knowing that Jiang Cheng hated Wen Ning more than anything, he made up such a smooth lie with the previous knowledge he had. Jiang Cheng knew that the YiLing Laozu and the Ghost General often appeared together, so he already suspected that Wen Ning was in the area. Having heard Jin Ling’s words, he was already mostly convinced, and Wei WuXian’s expression convinced him even further. On top of that, he burst into a fury whenever he heard the mention of Wen Ning’s name. With his eyes blinded by wrath, how could he still have doubted? The hostility that built in his chest was almost making him explode. He flicked his whip, hitting the ground beside Wei WuXian, and spoke through clenched teeth, “You really take that obedient dog of yours everywhere, don’t you?!” (Jin Ling coming in with that "Yeah, my Jiujiu is crazy but I know how to take advantage of that to save you." You go Jin Ling, four for Jin Ling.)

Wei WuXian spoke, “He’s been dead for a long time, and I’ve died once as well. What else do you want?!”

Jiang Cheng pointed the whip at him, “So what? My hatred would persist, even if he dies thousands of times! He didn’t perish back then. Very well! I shall destroy him today, with my own hands. I’m going to burn him right now, and scatter his ashes right in front of your face!” (In the eternal words of Jiang Cheng "Can I not just hate you?" And everyone else who loves you and befriends you too because I blame you for choosing them over me and will choose to hurt them out of spite and jealousy.)

Keep in mind this is only book one still and Wei Wuxian has already put his full trust in Lan Wangji even before Lan Wangji ends the identity farce himself:

He had always thought that Jiang Cheng would be on his side, and Lan WangJi on the one opposite to him. He could never have imagined that things would turn out so differently. (Do I really have to elaborate that Wei Wuxian doesn't want Jiang Cheng by his side anymore? Or even trust him.)

And in contrast to Jiang Cheng's crazed reaction and when Lan Wangji is reunited with Wei Wuxian:

However, having taken only one step back, his ankle twisted, and he seemed as if he almost collapsed on the ground. With a change in expression, Lan WangJi hurried over and tightly gripped his wrist like what he did last time, back in Dafan Mountain. After Wei WuXian had been steadied, Lan WangJi knelt down on one knee to examine his leg. Wei WuXian was rather shocked, “N-n-no, HanGuang-Jun. You don’t have to do this.”

Lan WangJi raised his head slightly, the pair of light-colored eyes boring into him, then looked down again and continued to roll up the leg of his trousers. Still under his grip, Wei WuXian could do nothing except to look up at the sky.

His entire leg was covered with the black bruise of the Curse Mark.

After staring at it for a while, Lan WangJi spoke in a bitter voice, “… I only left for a few hours.”

Wei WuXian shrugged, “A few hours is a long time. Anything could have happened. There, there. Straighten up.” (Hanguang-Jun is SO MEAN, keeping innocent little Jiang Cheng from Wei Wuxian, who he was never hurt physically, ever in his life. Stop being dramatic Lan Wangji!)

In conclusion insta:

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #salt? salt #what is twitter and insta on cause this is some in denial flat earther comprehension

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judediangelo75 · 3 years

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Unpopular Opinion: A Selfish MC

Honestly, mainly my mutuals read my posts and I appreciate the likes and occasional reblog so here’s another unpopular opinion.

There’s a lot I can say here. So here it is:

MC should be more selfish.

Because really think about it here.

They came into this school with almost everyone expecting the worse of them because of their brother.

They’ve been targeted by a girl who looked like she felt threatened by us when they came here trying to mind our business.

Been breaking curses from the age of 12, even though the adults were telling us not to (and what have they been doing to stop these curses?).

They found the opportunity to find missing their brother and made it our goal to find him. FOR YEARS.

In the midst of this quest, we were still trying to enjoy the life of a student. Make friends, play Gobstones, go out for a Butterbeer, maybe date someone, learn magic...

They deal with their friend’s issues. Not saying this is completely bad. But again think about it: MC helps other people deal with their issues, but who really asks them about how they feel about EVERYTHING they’re going through. I’ll wait.

While I can’t really recall from the previous years, the one person who did was Bill before he graduated from Hogwarts in our fifth year. When MC was trying to cheer him up about graduating.

When he asked them about how they’re feeling, MC quickly deflected the issue.

Mind you, I can relate to this in real life. My feelings, thoughts and emotions would be on the back burner while I help others. And if our MC was able to truly project EMOTION, if s/he was force to confront how they really feel, it might be extreme. So they deflect the issue.

Especially after what happened in 5th year. Even AFTER what happened in the vault, our MC is still worrying about others and they are just rejecting us to our face as if we’re not already hurt.

Again think about it:

We’re rejected by Merula after all that’s happened, so for those who thought we’ll finally be friends with her, JC said “Sike, you thought.” Then goes on to say that she doesn’t need us.

“I told you I don’t need you, L/N...”

“And I still don’t.”

Ben, whose on a manhunt for Sickleworth, makes a comment implying that we’re obsessed with finding our brother.

MC: Why does my brother-- I mean the Niffler--keep disappearing on us?

Ben: And you think I’m the one obsessed, Y/N?

I’m not gonna lie, I was hot for a good second. For crying out loud, he LEFT us. All of them saw him leave.

Depending on what year your MC was born, they would’ve been 8 or 9 when he disappeared. By the time you find him, they would be 15 or 16. THAT’S SEVEN WHOLE YEARS!

SEVEN YEARS THAT THEY WILL NEVER GET BACK. ALMOST 5 OF WHICH THEY SPENT TRYING TO FIND HIM! All of that for him to LEAVE???

When the whole reason why they dealt with the Curse Vaults was to find him!

Bro, in my eyes, MC is justified to feel this way. I don’t see it as an obsession, I see it was genuine hurt.

They were legit abandoned just after a short reunion. With no way to contact him until later in 6th year.

Depending on if you have a headcanon for your character in the game. Like their family dynamic, personality, attitudes and such: this may hurt WAY WORSE.

For example, my MC lost her dad just weeks after her brother disappeared. She has no real relationship with her mother, who favors her brother over her. Her and her brother were close when he was around. After her father died, she promised over his grave that she’ll find out what happened to him and hopefully bring him home. Then this shit happens.

She would’ve been heartbroken. To hear Ben say that would’ve pissed her off for a few seconds before trying to cool down.

Then 6th year rolls around and our MC is dealing with everyone’s BS and not their one.

Don’t get me started on Merula returning to her old ways and how Ben took on a new identity (personally, I don’t like new Ben. That’s the type of attitude that will cause you to misstep and get your ass seriously injured or killed), Penny and Beatrice’s sibling feud AND ANOTHER CURSE.

Again if I were to write my character how I want to, she would’ve cared way less. Even those with a ton of patience, lose it.

I mean honestly how much shit does our character how to experience before they rightfully explode?

Like seriously. I’ve seen a scene where we have to duel our brother and then he leaves us (again). And Merula says this:

“You can’t seem to hold onto anyone anymore, can you, L/N?

GET. THE. FUCK. OUT OF HERE!

Yo, you can not tell me any different: That was fucked up to say. EXTREMELY FUCKED UP!

And she’s laughing as if this was joke. This is far from funny.

And yet our MC is still trying to reach out to her. WHY

Like at this point, let everyone do whatever they want. Let them fix their issues. Let them deal with their own problems how they choose to.

I much rather hang out with Rowan, Tonks, Barnaby, Andre (worse headache he could give me is my outfit choices), Charlie, Jae, Badeea (let me spend more time with this art queen, c’mon!), Liz, Diego (I’ll take his flirtations ANY DAY), Talbott (Let me spend more time with my husband), Chiara (my Healer sister for life) Fred, George and Cedric (Let me spend time with the cinnamon roll!).

Like every other unproblematic character in the game currently. I’ll even take Professor Snape and his sarcasm (that I grew to love).

My headcanon is that Judith would hide out in the Dark Forest in the Creature Forest or go to the Centaur Camp to get away from the unnecessary stressors at Hogwarts.

I don’t care if it looks like MC is “abandoning Hogwarts” when a curse is out on the loose.

MC didn’t really ask to be a Curse Breaker (if you decided that’s not a career they would take).

MC didn’t ask to be the protector of Hogwarts since they were 12 years old.

They aren’t getting any real thanks for anything that they do.

They can’t be a normal student. Even if they wanted to, everyone would probably be like “Why would you want to give up what you’re doing?”

I honestly wish we could be more selfish. I will never forget the outburst Rowan had in 5th year when they said we only call them or hang out with them when MC needs something.

THEY WEREN’T WRONG! We don’t hang out with our friends just to hang out. It’s always MC needs something or we’re helping a friend in the storyline. We don’t just chill to have fun like a normal student.

Which is bloody sad.

And MC has been told how they really haven’t been taking care of themselves.

For example, Hagrid in Year 4:

“If yeh say so, but I wish yeh’d take care of yerself as much as yeh take care o’ everyone else...”

Or even Dumbledore:

“I am concerned that you are neglecting your own well-being and needs.”

Like it’s literally right there, folks. Right. There.

Exposed. In only two lines.

I know Jam City will never let MC be selfish, even it was for a few chapters. But I wish they did.

This is why we create fandoms and our own headcanons.

Anyways, thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#hphm #hphm rant #hphm mc #hphm jacobs sibling #jacob's sibling #jacob's sister #jacob's brother #rant post #mc deserves better #they're allowed to be selfish #even if it's just a little #i said what i said #with my whole chest #and i meant what i said #probably unpopular #unpopular thoughts #unpopular opinion

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missnight0wl · 2 years

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Everything wrong with Y7Ch39 AKA “Meet Peregrine”

So, do we have a new worst chapter? I’m not sure about it, to be honest – but it’s easily in the top five worst chapters. That being said, let’s move on to more elaborated commentary, shall we?

Part 1

NOOO... YOU DON’T SAY?! WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT! 😲

You don’t understand how much it annoys me that after seven years, MC is still surprised that Dumbledore simply knows things.

Well, that’s not really true. Merula got obsessed about it only in Y7Ch38, so I can’t say that she “was always telling” that.

By the way, now that I think about it, the fact that Merula got fixated on it so suddenly might be another proof that we were supposed to learn the name: “Verucca Buckthorn” before Corey’s kidnapping. Perhaps Rakepick would tell us that in Azkaban, in Y7Ch37? And that’s what made Merula so nervous that we might find out Verucca’s connection to the Snyde family?

To be completely honest, I think that Merula should be not only expelled but also put in Azkaban. Not for a lifetime, of course, but a couple of months wouldn’t hurt her. I mean, I’m sorry, but it was proven that she’s involved with a criminal organisation AND she kidnapped a student. Hagrid was arrested because of a suspicion that he freed Slytherin’s monster. Besides, Merula seemed to be very upset when she couldn’t join us in Azkaban. She should be happy about another chance to visit :)

Part 2

So, like... it’s basically the same as the previous part? Cool.

Alright, but do you realise it means that Shiratori would know about Corey’s kidnapping, like... three chapters before it happened? Maybe even earlier than that, if we assume that he wasn’t getting instructions from R while already in Azkaban.

I’ll come back to this particular point a bit later.

When Shiratori said his line about sleepwalking, I was like: “Hey, look! Jam City remembered that there was something about sleepwalking in Y4 and decided to use the same word!”. And look at that! They actually did it intentionally. And they probably think they’re so clever!

Yeah...

Part 3

I’m not gonna lie, it’s rather sad that there are multiple Aurors searching for Corey, but we didn’t even mention any investigation after Rowan’s death.

How the hell MC became so fucking dumb? When they were younger, any Black Quill was a clear sign to be highly alarmed. MC knew what it means: bad news. But now?

Can MC just die already? Please? Pretty please?

Oh my fucking god... Of course MC fell for it...

Can MC just die already, please??

Part 4

First things first: why the hell the Portkey took us to the Whomping Willow instead of directly to the Shrieking Shack? I doubt it’s magically protected from that. Sure, it’s protected in general, but we’re talking about a Portkey - it shouldn’t have any limitations.

I mean, we wouldn’t be wasting time if you’re stupid Portkey took me directly to the Shrieking Shack...

I’m sorry, but that whole part with Merula was totally pointless, so I’m just confused. And even if JC really wanted us to have a little chat, it still could’ve happened at the Shrieking Shack. Just put us in a different room than where Verucca was. We could join her later.

Here’s a crazy idea, though. Did you consider putting the Black Quill somewhere with no Aurors, to begin with? Hm? *sigh*

And... that’s why Shiratori gave me that clue about sleepwalking before Corey started investigating the Director?

HMMMMM...

You literally told me nothing, but okay.

Part 5

Alright, so I was right about it: Verucca was suspicious on purpose. However, here’s the difference. In the Rogues theory, Verucca doesn’t work for R, and she exposed Merula as “a punishment” for exposing Rakepick - who’s basically a double agent. You can read the whole theory HERE. But anyway, it does make sense to me.

If Verucca works for R though, what was the point of exposing Merula? Like, let’s move on a little bit...

First of all, how the hell could MC come to them willingly? R knows that MC doesn’t think of them too kindly, and they did absolutely nothing to change it.

And back to Merula... Does... does Verucca simply hate her niece so much that she exposed her only to make her life harder? Because look. Merula’s job was to bring MC, right? But by showing MC that Merula joined R (so The Bad Guys™), they only made MC more distrustful towards her. I mean, that’s what would happen if MC wasn’t an idiot...

Were they testing Merula? Did they want to see if she’d be able to complete her mission when they made it harder for her? But they want MC to be a leader - shouldn’t bringing them be more important than testing Merula?

Or did they simply want to confirm that MC is an idiot who would fall for Merula’s lies anyway? I mean, MC being an idiot is good for R: they’ll be easier to manipulate. Ergo, we can assume that R wants a puppet, not a leader. It does make some sense, but in general, it’s still stupid.

*heavy sigh*

“... and I had to remove my hat to prove my words because otherwise, it wouldn’t be dramatic enough!”

Seriously, when you think about it, Verucca’s orange streak is pretty pointless and stupid.

Yeah... Go fuck yourself.

So... what was R’s plan, exactly?

Alright, let’s try to summarise all of that. And just to make it simpler, I’ll focus on a part of the plan which led to the situation in Y7Ch39. Starting with...

1. Get Shiratori sentenced to Azkaban.

2. Arrange a robbery at Gringotts, so MC could investigate it and decide on a private meeting with Shiratori.

3. Have Shiratori pull MC into his mind (or whatever he did) and tell MC about sleepwalking.

4. Have Merula do something which would make MC want to find her. I’m not sure if she was always supposed to kidnap Corey, but she had to use some bait anyway.

5. Have Merula reference Shiratori’s words before her disappearance.

6. Make the Portkey. Turn it into the Black Quill. Place it near the Forest Vault where MC would be led thanks to Shiratori’s clue.

7. Take care of the Aurors who witnessed MC’s disappearance.

8. Have Merula take MC from the Whomping Willow to the Shrieking Shack.

Am I missing something? I think I got the most crucial elements of their plan... And now that I look at it, I have to say...

Let’s try to fix it!

As usual, I don’t want to only criticise, so I tried to come up with some alternatives. Now, I admit it’s a little convoluted, and perhaps an average player would have a little hard time following it, but... I think it really does make sense in the end. Just bear with me, please!

Alright, so Shiratori could still be sentenced to Azkaban. I mean, this whole trial was a hot mess, so I’d love to remove it from existence, but it’s not really relevant here, to be honest. Either way, there is no robbery at Gringotts, so MC doesn’t have to go to Azkaban to meet Shiratori again.

One day, Merula tells MC that she wants to meet to talk in some private place. It could even be the Whomping Willow, or the Artefact Room or whatever. She talks about literally anything. For example, she talks about how her relationship with MC gets tense, and that’s probably because they’re all stressed out by the whole situation with R, yada yada yada. Eventually, she gives us something. It could be a book that inspired her or something, and now she wants to share it with MC as a peace offering. Maybe she doesn’t want to let it go right away, MC gets confused, but Merula tries to distract them with more talking, and then... BOOM! It turns out that the book was a Portkey that takes them straight to the Shrieking Shack where they meet Verucca!

I know, pretty crazy! But apparently, I like crazy ideas!

#long post #hogwarts mystery #hphm #hphm spoilers #hphm mc #merula snyde #anti merula #albus dumbledore #alastor moody #corey hayden #kazuhiro shiratori #verucca buckthorn #hphm peregrine #hphm r #analysis post

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Text

Spite in Misery - ao3

(rather silly AU of Delight in Misery, only even more petty and passive aggressive, and also slightly more JC/LWJ)

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“What do you want?” Jiang Cheng asked.

“Sanctuary,” Lan Wangji said, prim and proper as he always was, the perfect untouchable iceberg as always, except maybe for the small child he was holding. “For me and my son.”

“Wait, you fuck?”

Wait, that wasn’t the right question.

“Why do you need sanctuary here?” Jiang Cheng asked, utterly bemused. “There isn’t a single place in the cultivation world you wouldn’t be welcomed –”

Except here.

“– and anyway, your brother, his sworn brothers, and your sect would demolish anyone who even thought about hurting you. Who in the world could you need sanctuary from?”

“My brother,” Lan Wangji said. “His sworn brothers, and my sect.”

Jiang Cheng stared at him.

Lan Wangji stared right back at him.

And then he collapsed.

“No,” Jiang Cheng said to the unconscious or possibly dead body currently lying across the threshold of the Lotus Pier and the small feverish-looking child in barely better state splayed out beside it. “I refuse to take responsibility for this!”

“You will not say anything about the room I have chosen to house you in,” Jiang Cheng said. “You will not complain about the food, the amenities, or make any requests whatsoever. Do you hear me?”

“Mm,” Lan Wangji said.

Jiang Cheng ought to have expected as much.

“And don’t think this means I’m going to like you or anything,” Jiang Cheng added self-righteously.

“I despise you with every drop of blood in my body,” Lan Wangji said.

“…so noted,” Jiang Cheng said.

After a moment, he added, “I don’t care!” and stormed out.

After yet another moment, he came right back into the room where he’d put Lan Wangji – it was just a convenient room, not specifically Wei Wuxian’s room, and if putting Lan Wangji in there meant he could delay having to clean out all the personal possessions left in there and actually repurpose it, that was his business and no one else’s – and said, “Why do you hate me, exactly?”

“Do you care?” Lan Wangji asked. He was examining the small cot Jiang Cheng had set up to put the still-unconscious and therefore nameless child on.

“Obviously,” Jiang Cheng said. “Or I wouldn’t have asked.”

“Mm,” Lan Wangji said.

Jiang Cheng waited a few moments, moments that grew longer and longer, and finally he realized – “You’re not planning on telling me?”

“I despise you,” Lan Wangji reminded him.

“Oh, you – you…!” Jiang Cheng ground his teeth together. “I’m the one giving you sanctuary, remember?”

“I came to you because you were the only one powerful enough to accomplish the task and spiteful enough to do it. I did not come here to owe you any favors.”

“Well, you’re going to owe me one anyway,” Jiang Cheng said, scowling at him. “You – you – ugh. Forget it!”

He stormed back out.

And then he realized he hadn’t actually brought the medicine that he’d intended to bring to Lan Wangji, so he had to go in and drop it off, but then he was finally able to storm away properly.

“I was under the belief we had agreed it would be best for us to see each other as little as possible,” Lan Wangji said, his voice even icier than usual – which was saying something.

“That’s right,” Jiang Cheng agreed, eying him warily. “I’m only here personally to drop off your medicine because it means fewer people know that you’re here.”

He’d thought that he would need to bring in a doctor for Lan Wangji’s injuries, but it turned out to be whip marks from a discipline whip and Jiang Cheng – well. Jiang Cheng knew everything there was to know about injuries like that.

Sure, he’d had to take A-Yuan to a doctor, he didn’t know shit about pediatric illnesses, but that was fine, it didn’t give the whole game away. Jiang Cheng was able to pass him off as some random sad orphan he’d taken pity on, which wasn’t far from what he suspected to be the truth.

“In that case,” and Lan Wangji’s voice was even colder, which how, “why do you live next door?”

“This was the only room available,” Jiang Cheng lied.

Lan Wangji glared death at him.

“Beggars can’t be choosers. I’m giving you sanctuary, aren’t I?” Jiang Cheng scowled. “Anyway, I told you that you weren’t allowed to complain about the room.”

Lan Wangji did not appear impressed.

“How’d you know I was next door, anyway?”

“You have nightmares.”

…right.

“I’ll invest in better soundproofing, then,” Jiang Cheng said haughtily. He wasn’t ashamed of having nightmares. After the life he’d lived, it was only to be expected.

“I don’t want to be around you at all,” Lan Wangji clarified.

“Too bad.”

“I don’t want you spending time with A-Yuan.”

Oh, so that was the real issue here. Well, in that case, the answer was still – “Too bad.”

“He’s my son.”

“He’s in my house,” Jiang Cheng said. “In my sect, in my lands, in my part of the cultivation world, which is the only reason you came here rather than literally anywhere else, remember? Because I’m a territorial bastard with a paranoid streak that won’t let anyone come look for you in here without hovering over their backs like a shadow, making it impossible for them to actually find you – sound familiar?”

Lan Wangji’s face twitched. “I did not say that.”

“You thought it,” Jiang Cheng said, and Lan Wangji’s silence proved he was right. “Anyway, I don’t care if you don’t like me spending time with A-Yuan. He’s one of the only people who can make Jin Ling laugh.”

“He wants to be his big brother,” Lan Wangji said. He sounded like he had swallowed glass.

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng said, not understanding. “Good for him?”

Brothers didn’t have to be biological, he thought, and that old pain tore through his heart the way it always did when he thought about Wei Wuxian.

“Worthless,” Lan Wangji said, glaring at him, and Jiang Cheng almost agreed with that assessment of himself – thoughts of Wei Wuxian usually had that effect – except of course it was Lan Wangji saying it, so naturally he had to disagree.

It was oddly reaffirming, actually. He might beat himself up as being worthless, useless and pathetic, a broken shell of a man who couldn’t keep a single member of his family alive, who had nothing and lived for nothing and existed purely for the sake of his sect and Jin Ling –

But the second Lan Wangji said that he was worthless, Lan Wangji who was wrong about everything, Jiang Cheng was immediately convinced that he was the best thing that had ever been invented.

Wait, was this how Wei Wuxian used to feel all the time?

No wonder he was always tormenting Lan Wangji.

“I brought you some books on physical rehabilitation,” Jiang Cheng announced. “No, don’t thank me - the sooner you’re better, the sooner you can leave.”

“It will not be too soon,” Lan Wangji said.

Personally, Jiang Cheng didn’t think Lan Wangji was going to be leaving for at least another year, maybe a few more years, not with that many strikes of the discipline whip to heal and his disordered qi to straighten out, but it was nice for both of them to see a destination at the end of the road in which they didn’t have to see each other all the time. Either way, he agreed, so he wasn’t going to ruin the rare moment of complete harmony by being persnickety.

“You should knock before entering,” Lan Wangji added, prissy as always.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. He probably should have, yes, but he always had the ‘it’s my house’ thing to fall back on. This was the Lotus Pier where the rules of the Lan sect didn’t apply, and as far as he was concerned, that was reason enough to ignore etiquette. Anyway, Lan Wangji was here alone and healing just the way he’d been doing the past few months, what exactly was he going to be doing that Jiang Cheng might walk in on –

“Oh,” Jiang Cheng said when Lan Wangji attempted, with dignity, to extract his hands from inside his clothing, which was unfortunately not something he could do subtly. “Were you trying to jerk off?”

Lan Wangji looked mutinous.

“…were you failing to jerk off?”

Lan Wangji now looked like he wanted to rip Jiang Cheng limb from limb, even though it ought to have been clear enough that Jiang Cheng would only think to ask the question because he’d had a similar issue for a while there. The time after his family had died had been brutal, and he couldn’t even use getting off as a shortcut to fall asleep because every time he tried he couldn’t keep it up; it’d been awful. He’d been terrified that he’d broken his own dick somehow, which led to worries that he wouldn’t be able to have kids in the future and thereby fail his parents and ancestors in a brand new and yet unexplored way, which led to even more panic and even less sleeping. It hadn’t been until someone (he suspected Nie Mingjue, bizarrely enough) shoved a medical treatise about trauma reactions under his door that he’d realized it was a fairly normal aftereffect and managed to calm down a little.

Nie Mingjue had also given him so much work to do that Jiang Cheng hadn’t had time to even think about that sort of thing until nearly half a year later, at which point everything was working again and he’d completely forgotten it was even an issue until halfway into the afterglow.

Good man, that Nie Mingjue.

“If it’s a symptom, you need to tell me these things,” Jiang Cheng said, taking far too much wretched enjoyment out of the whole thing. He’d give Lan Wangji the trauma book, of course – he still had it – but he had to get his wins in where he could against the perfect iceberg, cheap shots or no. “As your current attending doctor, I’m responsible for your care –”

“It is unwanted but necessary. It is simply something that I must endure,” Lan Wangji said grimly, and Jiang Cheng raised his eyebrows.

The book had covered that, too, although that hadn’t been his problem, personally.

“Oh, I see,” he said. “You keep getting hard, is that it? And then retraumatizing yourself when you try to jerk off, which means you can’t satisfy the need, which means you can’t solve the getting hard all the time problem, which in turn affects your cultivation and so your healing…yeah, I see the issue. You should probably get someone else to do it for you if you get really desperate.”

“I see no one but you,” Lan Wangji said through gritted teeth.

A problem, Jiang Cheng admitted.

Still mostly Lan Wangji’s problem, though.

“Well,” he said with the smarmiest smirk he could manage, “as your attending doctor –”

Lan Wanjgji threw a book at his head.

“What are you planning on doing once you’re better?” Jiang Cheng wondered.

“Why are you talking to me?” Lan Wangji replied.

“Oh come on,” Jiang Cheng said. “How can you say such a thing after taking advantage of me? I let you into my home –”

“You will not be able to rely upon that fact forever.”

“I will be able to rely on that fact for eternity,” Jiang Cheng disagreed. “I let you into my home, I hid you away from the world – which isn’t actually as easy as I make it look, just so you know! Your brother is practically scouring the earth –”

Lan Wangji looked like he’d bitten into something extremely sour.

“I’m sorry, did you think he was not going to do that? And recruit his sworn brothers to help him?” Jiang Cheng asked. “I thought the whole point of this was – well –”

“It was.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I do not enjoy hearing of it.”

“Listen, if you’re going to decide to torture someone by turning your back on them and disappearing without a word, you should at least have the guts to own it.”

“You speak from experience, I take it.”

“As a matter of fact, I do. Did you somehow forget everything that happened back then with Wei Wuxian?”

“…you were the one who turned your back on Wei Ying.”

Jiang Cheng laughed disbelievingly. “Oh, yeah, sure,” he jeered. “Because I was so well-known for my backbone when it came to Wei Wuxian. I definitely was the one to come up with the idea to throw him out of my sect and cut ties, yeah, definitely, that’s completely what happened. I mean, obviously, I always got my way when dealing with him, every time, that’s how it always was between us. He had nothing to do with it.”

Lan Wangji was glaring at him. “Not then,” he said, each word cutting like a sword. “The Nightless City.”

“You mean the time he arrogantly and completely without warning started a fight that got my sister killed and then murdered three thousand people, including some of the very few family members and friends I had left?”

Lan Wangji was silent.

“You do mean that time,” Jiang Cheng said, marveling. “Are you insane? Even if I wanted to, if I took his side then, I’d have had no claim later on to grab him as a prisoner before anyone else did. The Jin would have executed him for sure! And slowly!”

“The Burial Mounds –”

“He imploded in front of my face!” Jiang Cheng shouted. “I had to see – when he – he died! He was – he did – you don’t even know – no, you know what, I’m not talking about this. Not with you of all people; you hated him.”

Lan Wangji’s hands were fists. “I did not.”

“No? You did a good job of acting like you did,” Jiang Cheng sneered. “Always talking about how you wanted to drag him back to Gusu just because it would make you feel better –”

“Better than leaving him.”

“I did what he wanted! And yes, fine, maybe that was my mistake. Maybe I should’ve ignored what he wanted, maybe I should’ve dragged him back to the Lotus Pier and locked him in a little room for the rest of his life the way everyone knows your dad did to your mom – ”

Lan Wangji flinched.

In fairness, Jiang Cheng was exaggerating about everyone knowing. He only knew about it because he’d heard his mother spit it out at his father during one of their nastier fights, and he was pretty sure she wasn’t supposed to have known about it, either.

“– but stupid me, I thought he’d be happier being free and alone than stuck with someone he clearly didn’t want to be around him anymore! But what do I know? Maybe I should ask you, you selfish bastard. You’re the one in his position this time, you’re the one who’s doing the turning away – I bet you don’t even know what it’s like to be the one that’s not wanted.”

Lan Wangji stared down at his hands as Jiang Cheng jumped up to his feet, Zidian crackling to life in his hand despite himself, persisting even though he tried to suppress it.

“I’m going to go hunt down some demonic cultivators,” he said, trying in vain to keep his temper even a little bit and knowing it was a lost cause. “And then I’m going to bring them back here and make them scream somewhere you can hear it. You can chew on that with some glass for all I care!”

“You handled that last one well,” Lan Wangji said. It sounded like someone was pulling teeth from his head.

“You’re sick,” Jiang Cheng announced. “I will go get some fever medicine at once. Are you experiencing any other symptoms in addition to hallucinations? Or should I be checking for signs of possession instead?”

Lan Wangji was back to glaring at him.

“I don’t know what drove that sudden spurt of niceness and I don’t care to know,” Jiang Cheng informed him. “I don’t need your approval.”

Lan Wangji ignored him. That was more customary.

Also unfortunate, because Jiang Cheng managed to get less than half a shichen of work done before coming back into Lan Wangji’s room (not Wei Wuxian’s room) and saying, “Okay, what exactly did I do?”

Lan Wangji looked at him sidelong.

“Seriously,” Jiang Cheng said. “What did I do that was so impressive that even you approved of it?”

“The demonic cultivator. The last one.”

Jiang Cheng frowned, thinking about it. “The – stupid one, you mean?”

Lan Wangji stared at him, and then looked at the ceiling, long-suffering. “The one from Yunping.”

“The stupid one,” Jiang Cheng confirmed, and then he was ranting again because he couldn’t seem to stop ranting about it. “I can’t believe the idiot got into demonic cultivation as a way to make money! That’s just – it’s just – if I ever figure out who paid him, I’m going to rearrange their guts with my sword. Lousy rotten opportunistic…!” He coughed, realizing he’d gotten started again when he’d promised Jiang Meimei that he’d stop. It apparently got old after the sixth repetition. “Anyway, what’s so notable about that?”

“You accepted him as an outer disciple of your own sect.”

“Well, yeah. What else was I going to do with him? He’s clearly got some talent for cultivation if he figured out demonic cultivation without dying. It’d be a waste to send him back to be a fisherman or a dockworker or something.”

“You didn’t kill him.”

“I’m not going to kill someone who got into demonic cultivation as a way to raise funds to get medicine for his sick mother,” Jiang Cheng said, rolling his eyes. “The idiot’s on tomb-sweeping duty for the next year to make up for having manipulated corpses the way he did, that’s punishment enough. It’s not at all comparable to the usual sort of amateur demonic cultivator, the ones that summon corpses to torment former lovers or murder business partners or that sort of thing – those are the ones I use as an example to warn everyone else. What’s the big deal?”

Lan Wangji said nothing.

“Fine, keep your secrets. Can you watch Jin Ling today? I have a – uh – important meeting.”

“Another woman that you have no intention of actually marrying?”

“Shut up and mind your own business.”

“No, but seriously,” Jiang Cheng said. “What are you going to do once you’re better?”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Lan Wangji said, his voice muffled on account of his face being firmly in his hands. “Go away.”

“Listen, we’re still neighbors, we still need to talk. There’s no point in being suddenly shy about it just because you’re still in the acceptance phase of grief in connection with the whole me helping you with getting off business –”

“Never speak of it.”

Jiang Cheng sniggered. He wouldn’t have pegged the Lan sect as having uncontrolled libidos, much less Lan Wangji, but apparently the situation had gotten truly dire. Anyway, really, getting mockery rights was totally worth an arm work-out and having to put up with Lan Wangji, the latter of which he had to do anyway.

“You really are taking advantage of me now, though! My poor virtue –”

Lan Wangji looked at him through his fingers. “You don’t have any virtue.”

“Really?” Jiang Cheng asked, suddenly curious. “I strike you as someone with a lot of experience –”

“I meant morally.”

“Oh. Hey!”

Lan Wangji rolled his eyes. “Pathetic.”

“Not as pathetic as someone who won’t answer a straight question,” Jiang Cheng said. “What’s your plan for after you’re healed? Are you going back to the Lan sect? Or start traveling as a rogue cultivator?”

“Why do you care?” Lan Wangji asked.

“I can care!”

“But you don’t. Not about my affairs.”

Jiang Cheng had to admit this was correct. “Fine,” he said. “I need a name.”

Lan Wangji frowned at him.

“For A-Yuan,” Jiang Cheng said. “It’s been a year. The kid’s as healthy as he’s ever going to be, and he’s old enough for me to shove him in with the rest of the younger generation now that we’re starting lessons back up – cultivation, swordsmanship, shooting, etiquette, all the usual. But I can’t register him in the class without a surname, and I need to know if that surname’s going to be Lan or if you plan on changing it to something else.”

Lan Wangji was frowning at him.

“I know, I know, you’re in hiding,” Jiang Cheng said. “It’s fine, it won’t give you away even if you do pick ‘Lan’. I can register him as a Yunmeng Lan instead of a Gusu Lan, the surname’s common enough that no one will suspect anything unless you make him start wearing a forehead ribbon, which I don’t think you lot do at this age yet anyway. But if you’re planning on continuing to hide from your family after you get better, you’re going to need to do something about all of that.”

Lan Wangji looked sour.

“Anyway, long story short, that’s it. Your plans, I need to know them.”

Lan Wangji looked even more sour.

“Well? What is it?”

“We will return to the Lan sect,” Lan Wangji said.

“Not that hard, was it,” Jiang Cheng said. “I knew you were just throwing a temper tantrum.”

Lan Wangji rolled his eyes.

After a moment, he said, “What do we do about Jin Ling?”

“What do you mean, ‘what do we do about Jin Ling’?” Jiang Cheng asked suspiciously. “I had to fight half of Lanling Jin for the right to raise him here, we’re not doing anything about Jin Ling – anyway, who’s ‘we’? He’s my nephew!”

“A-Yuan sees him as a little brother.”

This was true.

“They will not want to part.”

…also true.

“Moreover,” and here Lan Wangji looked especially sour, “I believe A-Yuan has taken you as something of a – second parent.”

“Well, that’s nice,” Jiang Cheng said. “He’s a cute kid. Anyway, don’t take it so personally. Kids just do that, they adopt any adult in the vicinity as their own. I mean, certainly Jin Ling thinks of you as…wait. Wait. Are we co-parenting?!”

“Mm. Took you long enough to notice.”

It had been a bad day, a bad week, and a bad month, and Jiang Cheng’s temper, never good, was on the verge of imploding, so naturally that was when he completely lost all self-control he might have had and marched over to Lan Wangji’s room to blurt out, “Why do you hate me?”

Lan Wangji’s hands stilled over his guqin.

“I know why I hate you, even putting aside the fact that you’re a jackass with the emotional capacity of a brick,” Jiang Cheng said. “But I really have no idea what I did to you to make you hate me.”

There were so many options, after all. He was a cruel, vicious, and bitter man – he was a terrible parent, unlikable as a friend, barely sufficient as a sect leader, and such a failure at connecting socially with anyone that he’d been blacklisted as a marriage prospect despite being handsome, young, rich, and powerful. There were so many reasons to hate him.

But he didn’t know which one was the one that made Lan Wangji look at him with disdain, even if he thought that perhaps there was slightly less of that these days than there had been before.

“I hate you because you abandoned Wei Ying when he needed you,” Lan Wangji said. “He was your brother, and you left him behind – more than that, you led the charge against him, resulting in his death.”

…that was a good reason.

Jiang Cheng wouldn’t mind being hated for that reason, actually. It was a nice change from all those people who congratulated him for having done the right thing: all those smug sect leaders that comforted him for having raised a white-eyed wolf in the family, the ones that said his actions showed that he had a good backbone and a righteous bearing, the ones that had the gall to send him gifts of congratulation on the anniversary of Wei Wuxian’s death to thank him for his contribution to the cultivation world when all he wanted was to be left alone to mourn…

“That’s fine,” he croaked. “Okay. Yes. That’s – fine.”

“Why do you hate me?” Lan Wangji asked in turn. “You said you knew.”

“Oh, that,” Jiang Cheng said. “Same reason.”

Lan Wangji stared.

Jiang Cheng shrugged. “I mean, I know you were always harsh on him when we were together at your uncle’s lectures, which was completely fair given how much he was always bothering you. But he really did try sincerely to help you when we were all the Wen sect’s camp, and in the cave with the Xuanwu – but after, in the war, when he showed up with his demonic cultivation, you suddenly turned on him even though he was just doing it to help. You kept telling him he had to stop, even though you knew he was doing so much for the war effort, and you wanted to take him back to Gusu to do who-knows-what to him…you even snatched him away during the battle of the Nightless City! I saw you. I was so afraid you were going to kill him, I completely lost my head. I looked for you everywhere – I really don’t know how he was lucky enough to get away from you that time.”

Lan Wangji stared at him.

“And then you didn’t even bother to show up to the siege of the Burial Mounds in person,” Jiang Cheng added, feeling bitter. “After I heard from the Lan sect that he escaped from you, I briefly thought that you’d changed your mind and let him go. I was counting on you to be at the Burial Mounds to support me in claiming him as a Jiang sect prisoner – I had Chifeng-zun signed on, if reluctantly, and with you leading the Lan I could’ve made a decent argument. But then you didn’t show, either you or your brother; instead you sent your uncle, and of course there wasn’t even any point in asking him, was there?”

“…I didn’t know,” Lan Wangji said. His voice sounded strangely hoarse. “I wasn’t informed. It was shortly after…”

He nodded at his own shoulder, meaning the disaster on his back. Jiang Cheng hadn’t asked how it happened – he really wanted to know, as in really, really, really wanted to know, but even he was aware that actually asking would be unbearably rude. Still, he was surprised by the timing of it. How had Lan Wangji managed to end up in the hands of his enemies then? Who had even been left to do it to him?

“Yeah, well,” Jiang Cheng said, shaking his head to try to kick away his curiosity the way he would something clinging to his foot. “You were still a bastard to him when he needed you, so I hate you.”

He frowned.

“Also, you hate me,” he said. “So I hated you back just for that. Though I guess, since your reason for hating me is valid, maybe I should stop hating you back for that?”

He considered it.

“No,” he decided. “You’re too annoying not to hate.”

“The same for you,” Lan Wangji said after an unusual hesitation.

Jiang Cheng nodded and, feeling oddly relieved at not having found a new basis for self-hatred, departs.

“So once you’ve reestablished yourself at the Cloud Recesses, we’ll exchange extended visits on a regular basis so the kids can see each other,” Jiang Cheng said, and Lan Wangji nodded. “A minimum of three weeks per season, whether in the Lotus Pier or Cloud Recesses, and preferably double that.”

“Agreed.”

“In the meantime, you’ll work on getting the trade agreement we hammered out through your brother and sect elders as recompense for the time you spent here.”

“Mm.”

“An agreement whose source you will be disclosing very carefully because the Venerated Triad will not hesitate to murder me if they figure out without adequate warning it was me that was housing you for all this time.”

Lan Wangji said nothing and promised nothing.

Bastard.

Still, after nearly three years, Jiang Cheng was pretty used to it.

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng said. “Is there anything I’ve left out?”

“Joint night-hunts.”

“Right, right, we’ll make a point of regularly going on joint night-hunts – wait, why are we doing that? You don’t need me to watch your back now that you’re fully healed.”

Lan Wangji’s gaze wandered.

“Oh,” Jiang Cheng said. “So we can keep having hate-sex on the regular?”

“…mm.”

“Why didn’t you just say so? It’s not like I’m doing anything else – or anyone else. Blacklisted, remember?”

“Unsurprising,” Lan Wangji said, like the bastard he was.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, whatever. The set-up works, doesn’t it? I’m blacklisted, you’re apparently eternally pining for Wei Wuxian of all people – your taste is the worst – so who’s going to call us out on it? Go on, get out of here already. I’ll see you next month.”

“Well,” Jiang Cheng said, looking between the newly resurrected Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, abruptly made of an issue he had hitherto not considered based on Lan Wangji’s screaming body language. “This is. Uh. Awkward?”

#mdzs #jiang cheng #lan wangji #my fic #my fics #spite in misery #delight in misery #sometimes you get a silly idea #and then you write it

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ouyangzizhensdad · 3 years

Note

RE: WWX and his arc being about trauma. I got into the fandom through CQL and the first time I saw it I actually read a lot of his actions post the burning of Lotus Cove as being influenced by his trauma. He's paranoid even before getting thrown into the burial mounds. He seems to be self medicating with alchohol (which WQ kinda calls him out on). He over-reacts to a lot things, which seems to me like a nasty case of emotional dysregulation as a result of PTSD. He avoids all kinds (1/3)

Of reminders of his tramua, his sword being the greatest example but there were other little things. He never gave much of a fuck about propriety but the way he completely igonres it (and the possible social fallout) later speaks to me less about not caring and more about not *having* the emotional capacity to care, much like what happens with depression. Plus, a lot of his behaviour can be read with various shades of being self destructive, and there are just in general a lot of points (2/3)

Where it's made clear that he's in a pretty bad headspace (him crying about being useless in the burial mounds for example), but none of that ever really gets dealt with so all of those issues are still hanging under the surface even if they're not apparent all the time. I mean, this is just my take, but at least imo WWX ticks a lot of the checkboxes for PTSD in the drama and it explains a lot about the way he acts and the bad decisions he makes. Hope this was helpful! (3/3)

I'm only referring to the drama btw, not the novel (which I haven't read yet). My memory is terrible so I'm not sure if I made it clear or not lol. Anyways, have a good day ^^

Hi there,

I am always curious when people who have only engaged with CQL end up engaging with my novel-only meta blog but perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised: if CQL posts end up in the mdzs tag, why not the opposite? I’ve seen some of my novel meta reblogged and tagged with “the untamed” and “CQL” so maybe the answer is already out there, staring at me in the face!

I’ll start by saying that I do not wish to really argue with people’s interpretations of CQL since I consider that MDZS and CQL are very different works because so many changes were made in the process of adapting the novel, and I personally have no interest in analysing CQL except wrt how it can help us better understand the novel (seeing certain elements removed or changed may help us understand why they mattered in the first place or what their use was). So I will speak to the arguments that could be applied to the novel and why *I* don’t think WWX’s arc in the novel is about trauma, and why I don’t think that picking up certain behaviours that can be exhibited by people with PTSD (but not exclusively by people with PTSD) is enough in itself to support the idea that a character’s arc is about trauma/shaped by PTSD. That does not mean that my interpretation is the only acceptable one--I am aware that a lot of people disagree with me on this and see trauma as a central theme/central part of WWX’s arc--and so I expect that a lot of people will disagree with my points (hopefully after they’ve read this post in good faith). And that’s perfectly fine: how likely is it that we can find another person who will agree 100% with our own interpretation of a work of fiction? And having divergent opinions floating around the fandom, or having to develop counter-arguments is a good way to strengthen our own pov if we don’t find ourselves convinced by that other interpretation, so it’s all good.

So first, I’ll address the biggest point of my argument before moving to address more specific points you raise in your ask. For me, WWX’s characterisation is not about trauma but about resilience.

So first, let’s clarify some things. Going through adversity/experiencing a situation that is difficult =/= experiencing trauma. Trauma is a concept referring to a potential response to going through adversity/experiencing something distressing or disturbing. In short, trauma as it is conceptualised and understood is not universal: not only in the sense that is a spatiotemporally specific concept used to make certain experiences intelligible, but as the reaction to difficult events (as well, what is considered to be an experience that falls under that concept is not itself universal and can take many gorms, and the behaviours and thoughts associated with trauma are generally not exclusive to it, ie having certain behaviours/thought processes is not an automatic proof that someone is dealing with trauma/ptsd). So after all this word vomit I want to clarify that my intent is not to suggest that WWX doesn’t go through experiences that are likely to cause trauma, but that to me, what is being portrayed is a different reaction to these events: resilience (if a slightly more “fictional” portrayal of resilience than what it would be presented in psychology/psychiatry).

Resilience refers to how people adapt or recover successfully from adversity/distressing situation/stress. That does not mean that people’s first reaction to adversity/distressing situations will be not defined by negative emotions, of course. For instance, I don’t think WWX’s heightened paranoia/emotional state directly after the fall of LP when he goes to look for JC is an indication of trauma because at this point WWX is still deep in the middle of that moment of adversity: he’s still a fugitive in the middle of a war, in the middle of danger. This also doesn’t mean that people cannot still have some temporary negative reactions to things that happened to them, afterwards: WWX having to pause when JC presents him with Suibian after he returns from Mass Grave Hill is not inherently an indication of trauma as it can be read that his sword a reminder of the difficult sacrifice he made--and the consequences he faced as a result (just because a situation was not traumatic doesn’t mean we enjoy revisiting it).

Why I think that WWX’s arc or characterisation is about resilience rather than trauma is because of many things, but mostly I want to point out two sections of the novel in particular.

First, this characterisation of WWX through JYL that we get relatively early in the novel:

Most memories from back then were already blurred. Yet, Jin Ling’s mother, Jiang Yanli, remembered all of them, and even told him quite a few. She said that, after his father heard of the news that his parents both died in battle, he had always dedicated himself to finding the child that these past friends had left behind. After searching for a while, he finally found the child in Yiling.

The first time they met, Wei Wuxian was kneeling on the ground, eating the fruit peels that somebody tossed on the ground. Yiling’s winter and spring were quite cold, yet the child only wore thin layers. His knees were already tattered, and on his feet were two different shoes that didn’t fit at all. As he was looking down, searching for fruit peels, Jiang Fengmian called him. He still remembered that there was a “Ying” in his name, so he lifted his head. Although his cheeks were both red and chapped from the cold, he still wore a smile.

Jiang Yanli said that he was born with a smiling look. No matter what unfortunate thing happened, he wouldn’t cling on to them; no matter what situation he was in, he would be happy. Although it sounded a bit heartless, it really was not bad.

This refers to a time of his life that is extremely difficult: he lost both his parents suddenly, at a young age, became suddenly homeless with no means to feed himself except to beg, and yet the only trauma he seems to carry from this experience is related to dogs. To me, this is a clear move from MXTX to position WWX as the kind of protagonist who can face a storm and keep his smile on his face. I can imagine that some people take it perhaps as a subversion, as the text telling us that WWX is weathering it all with a smile but underneath it all he is just a bundle of unaddressed trauma. And that’s certainly a possible interpretation, but it’s not mine. In this case I think the text is being straightforward. What we see of WWX also seems to support that: the way WWX just rolls with being brought back from the death, how easily he finds a way to adapt to things, etc.

I also find it meaningful that the novel choses to include in its ultimate chapter this discussion as part of its wrap-up of WWX’s journey and of Wangxian’s relationship.

After they left the shop, Wei Wuxian still sat on Xiao Pingguo while Lan Wangji held the reins in front.Swaying left and right atop the donkey, Wei Wuxian took the flute from his waist and placed it by his lips. The limpid notes flew across the sky like birds. Lan Wangji halted and listened quietly.

It was the song he sang for Wei Wuxian when they were stuck in the Xuanwu cave. It was also the song that Wei Wuxian just so happened to have played at Dafan Mountain, the song that enabled Lan Wangji to confirm his identity.

When he finished, Wei Wuxian winked his left eye towards Lan Wangji.

“How was it? Beautiful, huh?”

Lan Wangji slowly nodded. “For once.”

Wei Wuxian knew that ‘for once’ referred to how his memory was good for once. He could not help but smile.

“Don’t always be so angry about it. It was my fault in the past, alright? Besides, my terrible memory should be accredited to my mom.” Wei Wuxian propped his arm on Xiao Pingguo’s head, spinning Chenqing in his hand. “My mom said you have to remember the things others do for you, not the things you do for others. Only when people don’t hold so much in their hearts would they finally feel free.”

This was one of the only things he remembered about his parents.

Of course, this is not a direct reference to resilience as it is explored in psychology. But to me it speaks to that idea: one of the biggest lesson WWX has kept with him, one of his only memory of--and thus legacy from--his parents, is this idea that we should not hold so much in our hearts. It also reframes his bad memory as being the result of a philosophy, of an approach to life that not just about being grateful/paying your debts to others, but also a form of resilience, in a sense.

As well, I find that a lot of people who go with the trauma interpretation see WWX’s actions and thoughts processes dyring his YLLZ’s days as being the result of his ptsd, where I personally read it as the influence of modao. I am aware as well that some people do not think that modao actually harmed WWX during that period of his life, but I don’t think that LWJ would have been worried if there were not reasons to believe it would:

One against two, Lan Wangji still refused to back off. He gazed at Wei Wuxian, “Wei Ying, for cultivating an evil path you would eventually have to pay. Throughout time, there has not been a single exception.”

Wei Wuxian, “I can pay.”

Seeing how unconcerned he seemed to be, Lan Wangji lowered his voice, “The path would not only damage your body, but your heart as well (此道损身，更损心性。)”

So now, onto the specific points you raised in the ask.

Self-medicating with alcohol: WWX is shown to enjoy and drink large amounts of alcohol before the fall of LP and after most of the events of the novel have unfolded. In the novel, while WQ tries to make WWX stop drinking, it is as likely to believe that it is for his health (now that he doesn’t have a golden core) than it would be because she was worried he was self-medicating. As well, heavy drinking is a very normalized behaviour (although most physicians don’t think it’s a good thing) in a lot of cultures and times, and considering WWX’s higher tolerance and his general demeanor while imbricated, his drinking is not shown to have a negative effect on his ability to live his life. The line between “self-soothing” (normal aspect of being humans dealing with emotions and hardships) and “self-medicating” (pathological) is hard to trace with alcohol consumption. As well, just because people with PTSD may self-medicate with alchohol doesn’t mean all people who self-medicate with alcohol do it because of PTSD.

He's paranoid even before getting thrown into the burial mounds. As I mentioned briefly before, WWX is at the time a fugitive in the middle of a war: he’s still in the middle of those stressful events and his paranoia is not necessarily a maladaptive response since they are still very much fugitives in the middle of a war. Trauma is not really your reaction during but in the aftermath. It would be more telling if WWX were still exhibiting signs of paranoia in situations where he would have no reasons to.

He over-reacts to a lot things, which seems to me like a nasty case of emotional dysregulation as a result of PTSD. I’m not certain at which reactions you are referring to here, but especially considering that some of this might be chalked up to acting choices since this is based on CQL, I probably won’t address this one point too much in relation to the novel. I do want to emphasize though that we’ve seen prior to Sunshot campaign that WWX can be quite impulsive in certain situations (hitting JZX for insulting Shijie, which he does both before and after the events of the Sunshot Campaign). As well, I do think it’s important to remember that he is still in the middle of the war during the Sunshot campaign, and that he is also hiding something pretty important from the people close to him and living a sort of double life, on top of experiencing fatigue/hunger in a way he hasn’t for years due to the loss of his golden core. In short, there are a lot of things going on that can be used to explain what can be seen as “over-reactions” without necessarily going with PTSD.

avoids all kinds reminders of his trauma, his sword being the greatest example but there were other little things. I’ve broached in my previous discussions, but it’s also pertinent to remember his mom’s philosophy: we can also see this as WWX trying to leave in the pass this difficult sacrifice he made in order to move forward.

He never gave much of a fuck about propriety but the way he completely ignores it (and the possible social fallout) later speaks to me less about not caring and more about not *having* the emotional capacity to care, much like what happens with depression. I have to disagree with that interpretation of WWX and WWX’s actions, but again this might just be a case of CQL-only vs novel-only interpretations of the character. One thing WWX thinks about being reborn in a “lunatic’s” body is that he’ll get to have fun, the way he never could when his actions reflected on others. So while at times WWX flaunts propriety, he is aware of how his actions can impact others and show in different situations that he is aware of propriety. His choice to protect the Wen Remnants goes against that, for sure, but it isn’t necessarily a case of not understanding the possible social fallout so much as putting other things (ie his life-debt towards WN and WQ) before propriety, as we can see for example in this exchange.

Jiang Cheng, “I’m the one who fucking wants to give you a thrashing! Yes, they helped us before, but why in the world don’t you understand that right now any remnant of the Wen Sect is a target of criticism! No matter who they are, with a surname of Wen they have committed a most heinous crime! And those who protect the Wen are at risk of being condemned by everyone! All the people loathe the Wen-dogs so badly that the worse they die the better. Whoever protects them is against the entire world. Nobody would speak for them, and nobody would speak for you either!”

“I don’t need anyone to speak for me.”

[...]

Swords unsheathed, the two stared at each other for a while. Neither was willing to take a single step back. A while later, Jiang Cheng spoke, “Wei Wuxian, have you still not realized what the situation at hand is like? Do you really need me to say it out loud? If you insist on protecting them, then I won’t be able to protect you.”

“There’s no need to protect me. Just let go.”

Jiang Cheng’s face twisted.

Wei Wuxian, “Just let go. Tell the world that I defected. From now on, no matter what Wei Wuxian does, it’d have nothing to do with YunmengJiangShi.”

“… All for the Wen Sect…? Wei Wuxian, do you have a savior complex? Is it that you’ll die if you don’t stand up for someone and stir up some trouble?”

Wei Wuxian stayed quiet. A while later, he answered, “So that’s why we should cut ties right now, in case anything I do affects YunmengJiangShi in the future.”

a lot of his behaviour can be read with various shades of being self destructive Which ones, specifically? I’m not trying to be obtuse, but I’m not sure which ones you mean.

he's in a pretty bad headspace (him crying about being useless in the burial mounds for example) It needs to be said that the crying is only in CQL (it was an acting choice by XZ). My memory is playing tricks on me, but I think pre-rebirth we only see him cry after he kills JZX and after JYL’s death? Someone please fact-check me on this.

Since I don’t believe it was MXTX’s intent to make WWX’s characterisation and arc about trauma, I do feel like interpreting the different behaviours as signs of his PTSD might lead us to miss out on other potential interpretations or meanings behind these choices, if we put aside the PTSD angle. It may also lead us to deny the text the possibility to signify something different through these behaviours and signs, especially on a thematic level--to explore something about how events and emotions shape us in a manner that exists outside of modern psychiatric classification.

TLDR (because god this got long): My point is not that WWX is unaffected by the things that happened to him or the things he’s done during this portion of his life: of course he is! Especially as they are happening to him, or when he is still stuck in a very difficult situation. But I don’t think his character and his arc is about trauma but instead about resilience. That, at the end of MDZS, WWX is still the person JYL described: No matter what unfortunate thing happened, he wouldn’t cling on to them.

#wintersrchild #mdzs meta #mdzs #wwx #maybe i should tag this as unpopular opinion? just in case

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calypsoff · 3 years

Text

Sixty Two.

Today is Grammy’s day, and I am feeling the full throttle of being lost in a room full of designers, I am just here confused as hell. I am so glad Rorrey is here with me, I asked him to stay longer but also Robyn’ family have come and it’s nice to have them; they are currently keeping me sane because this home is busy. We have had people coming in and out for Robyn, her dress is too tight so Mel had to rush out and now his partner Adam I think, he’s using my office to come up with a backup plan, he was supposed to be dressing me, but it’s been scrapped, and they are rushing around Robyn, me on the other hand. I am waiting for JC to cut this shit off my head “Hi everyone, where is she?” Looking behind me at Jen “upstairs in our bedroom, she’s not happy. Tell her that I will bring her some food up, it’s coming” Jen pointed at me “good, I will go up then. Wish me luck” she walked off, I got to make sure my babies are fed now, I got to take care of my wife “is it always like this busy?” I asked Rorrey “bro, it’s bad. But not as bad as the fact Robyn doesn’t fit in her dress so I can only imagine how annoyed she is, usually it flows so yeah. How you feeling? You’re going to be there with Robyn, in the limelight. Her husband, you know what. Embrace it, you’re out there winning. Fuck what anyone says because we know your heart bro, we know you so whatever they say means nothing. Enjoy yourself, get in there. You smile too, there will be a lot of flashing lights, but you be there for my little sister and my nephew or niece, it’s y’all day. It ain’t even Grammy’s night, it’s y’all night. Trust me” I chuckled “makes me feel nervous when you say that I know that people won’t be expecting Robyn pregnant, they going to see it now officially” rubbing my chest grinning “Boys, Chris” looking behind me “food” Frank held it out, we have Frank at the door because the door is open, so you never know “oh yeah thank you” getting up from the couch, taking the bag from him “hey family!” Noella walked in with my favorite princess “oh wow, forget Robyn. Look at Majesty” walking around the couch towards her “hey” hugging Noella “hey you, big day for you. I’m excited, you not going to take your fave?” Shaking my head “duty calls, got to feed Robyn” I know she’s going to be so hungry “oh yeah, you do that” walking around Noella to go upstairs.

Knocking on the door lightly and pushed it open, my eyes widened. Luckily it’s just women in here because I would have blown a fuse and the three men are gay because she’s naked, I dislike that “let me put my robe on then, the fuck!? Why didn’t any of you tell me to try these dresses on beforehand!? My body shape has fucking changed, how stupid! How fucking stupid!” Closing the door behind me “why isn’t your hair cut!? You’re not going like that” oh she’s spotted me “soon, I bought you food” Robyn finally put her robe on, well she needed too. She’s a little stressed out, she looks so stressed “come, let’s go and sit in the corner” Robyn shook her head “I don’t have time” pulling a face at her “you don’t have time for me” she put her head down as her smile grew “maybe a couple of minutes then” I chuckled “I’ll take that, come. Let’s just, actually let’s just sit in the spare room. The room I never took all the stuff out of” walking back out of our bedroom “yes Chris, we need to decorate the baby room” I had to start her off “I know” opening the bedroom door and walking inside the room “I will do it, I promise” sitting on the edge of the bed “if you can” opening the bag for Robyn, I got her a chicken salad because if I get her anytime fried she would say I’m adding weight onto her “you really got me food” placing the bag at the side of me “of course I did, you just need to relax. You’re really stressing out, nobody is more stressed out then the people around you that want to make you perfect” opening the box “true, just that I want to be perfect and it’s like I can’t be” stabbing my fork in the salad and chicken and holding it up too “what, don’t cry” placing the fork in the box, placing my arm around her, I was going to ask what is it but I didn’t, let her just cry it out and then I will.

Rubbing Robyn’ back, she laughed to herself “I’m just hormonal, sorry” shaking my head laughing “don’t be, just eat. Here” lifting the fork up to her mouth “I just got overwhelmed, it’s nothing bad” she said before eating from the fork “it’s ok, I got you. It’s a lot happening, yes you are the superstar but it’s a big event where you are for one pregnant so there is a lot of emotions in that but you’re revealing something that is very close to you and letting the public in, it’s a lot on your shoulders too. You may think you don’t feel good and stuff, but you do. You’re actually the most beautiful pregnant woman I have ever seen” holding the fork up to Robyn’ mouth and looking at her, Robyn is so teary eyed “I don’t deserve you” she sobbed out, she did that and a bit of chicken came out of her mouth and onto my arm “sorry” she laughed wiping my arm “anything else? Stop crying, you’re going to look amazing. I can’t wait to see you all dressed up” using the back of my hand to wipe her tears “I have my foundation on, you wiped it” letting out an oh laughing seeing my hand full of it “just eat, you need too” she ate finally, she is feeling emotional “it’s not about me, I will be there for you. This is your day Robyn, it really is. And I will be there with you, you don’t need to speak to anyone when walking that carpet either” Robyn rested her head on my shoulder “I think when the dress didn’t fit over my bump I just had a meltdown, but they will fix it for me. I know it, thank you for being a good husband to me. I should be the one prepping you, this is a big thing for you” eating the salad myself because she ain’t eating and I’m hungry “we got each other, you will be fine” feeling my phone ringing “I think JC is here, I need to go down. But eat this ok, you need to keep the baby fed now” Robyn moved her head back from me “love you” pecking her lips “love you too, I’ll come and check on you later” passing the food to Robyn.

I swear I have a soft spot for Majesty, she is the cutest little thing “look up for me bro” JC said, majesty is nosey, she is like what the hell is happening. Lifting my head up as he finished my line up “you going to look the cleanest in that bitch bro, trust me. The thing is I have had many phone calls about haircuts but then you messaged me, I was like ok I need to go to him. You’re a good man so I had to come out here for you” I grinned “all done” looking back down at Majesty “you ain’t scared are you?” She smiled at me “let me take a video bro” fixing Majesty in my lap “cool, you know I appreciate you coming out. I know you had a lot going on, you had many other clients so good looking out” I can’t believe he did come out for me “not a problem, just look down for me” looking down smiling at Majesty, I just went for a clean cut. Nothing special, JC walked around me “looking good brother” looking up smiling “shoutout my nigga JC for lining me up” Majesty yelped out “with my niece, she is giving you a shoutout” I chuckled, she is here trying to be involved “thank you” I said again, I appreciate him so much for this. He didn’t need to do all that, but he did come out here for me “have a good one out there though bro, big hype for you” I chuckled shaking my head, I don’t know about that shit.

The press is going wild for Rihanna, like every headline about the Grammys is about Rihanna coming. Tapping on the video “Rihanna will be performing but will she be pregnant, she has teased the world and hasn’t been seen in public for what could be months. She’s hidden behind her Instagram so I think this even will be Fenty’ day, it is I don’t care what you say. The pictures she posts could be old for all we know, I am interested to see if she is and if she is, you can catch me on the flip side going crazy. Her husband has been seen out on several occasions with her brother. One thing about him and I’ve read people talk about him because we don’t know him besides he’s just a regular guy, they say he’s always kind and always there to say hi and has never denied a picture with fans and always spoke if they ask and we really, we honestly hope that we get to see what Rihanna is doing” this E news discussion thing is deep “you reading up huh?” Rorrey said laughing at me “erm not really, it was on my timeline on my Instagram so I just thought I would look. But I get it, I get that Robyn is feeling the pressure. Why do people care so much? I really didn’t care for celebrities like that, I don’t’ anyways now but people really care” it is so weird to me “people are obsessed with my sister, at times I am like why? But she sells” he has a point, but I don’t like the obsession, the way they are counting down on her.

It's nice that Rorrey and Noella are here, I mean all of her team are here in this house, they are here supporting Robyn, but she has been upstairs forever, she is taking her damn time up there. I hope she is ok with everything; I know there is a lot going on with the Grammys “so are you both going to be there? At the Grammys?” I asked “how does it work? Do I just follow Robyn? I am not even sure what the fuck I am doing” I asked either Noella or Rorrey to answer “so you walk the red carpet, different for you because you’re her husband so like at first you just let her ahead and then usually once done we go but with you I think it will work like she goes ahead first and then they may shout you or Robyn will wave you over, stand with her. Just look around and let the photographers take the pictures, once that is done you walk further along. There may or may not be interviews if so you will just wait there with her. Then you walk in, someone will show you to your seats, with it being Robyn it will be front row. You sit with her, she will at some point be asked to go to get ready to perform. Either me or Noella will come out and sit in her place while she performs so we can watch it, we are going to be there but backstage. Then she will come back to her seat, but you will just remain where you are. Just let it flow Chris, that is how I say it” nodding my head, I think I will be ok “Chris, hey. Come with me” Adam said to me “follow me” he laughed, getting up from the couch “be nice with him!” Rorrey shouted, following out of the room and following Adam “sorry, just behind but we had to change your suit colour too so yes. I am in the office, so we needed to match with your wife, we had to change this last minute, but we got there so you are wearing white please do not dirty it” walking into the office “this is so nice, yeah. I think it will match my new cut. Sharp as hell” I chuckled.

Fixing my belt on my white pants, these are crisp white, so I need to be extra careful with myself “are you done? I am coming in Chris” Adam said and opened the door “you look perfect, so I have some accessories for you, I picked out the watch” turning to Adam “watch? Really?” Adam opened the box “this is Richard Mille, white gold. This costs around seven hundred and fifty thousand, but you will be wearing this for the night, celebrities don’t keep many jewellery, companies give them things to wear to show off their rand and I got you this” my eyes widened, I am in shock “bro, this is expensive. And it’s on my wrist, this is making me nervous” I chuckled, watching him put the watch on my wrist “wow, I am shook. Amazing, this is dope bro” I am so excited “so I just give this back to you at the end of the night” he nodded his head “yes you do, and we have this gold ring, just put it on any finger your like and that is it. You just need to put your suit jacket on” I grinned wide, taking in a deep breath “I am so excited, I am wearing a watch this expensive “come here” Adam grabbed the suit jacket, holding it open for me. He is rushing me “your wife is down; she is glammed up. Are excited” putting my jacket on, he pressed his hands down on my shoulders “I feel like I am getting married all over again, is she happy? That is all I want, is her happiness” turning to Adam “she is, we have made her happy” that is all I care about.

Pressing my suit down as I made my way out “looking good Chris” Mel winked at me “thank you, your man got me good” making my way to the living room “your groom is here, oh wow Chris. You look so nice. Ready for your big day” Noella complimented me “thank you” I chuckled, I cheesed seeing the back of Robyn. I know the back of my wife, she is wearing red “let’s see then, I am here to see you” I said, Robyn looked behind her and I swear she looks so perfect, her eyes just glistening bright “wow” I breathed “oh my god, Chris you look so handsome” she turned to me, the red gown elegantly showing her bump, her bump look so perfect, the gown has a little trail to it but not too long for her “I love this dress twin, you look so good. Oh wow Robyn, I love it. From your face to your body, your makeup is perfect, wow” Robyn chuckled “you like it, you look in love again” she doesn’t even realise how amazing she looks “but everyone please, how amazing does she look, the boys did an amazing job. I know today was a little messy, but you did it, all of you. The Grammys aren’t ready for you Robyn, wow. I would kiss you, but I don’t want ot mess your makeup, beautiful Robyn. I am like so lucky to have you” Robyn put her head down “you’re make me shy, god. I am getting nervous just thinking about getting out of the car, we need to leave now by the way, we are going to be late” nodding my head, I guess this is it.

I can’t stress this enough, Robyn looks amazing. Her bump looks so good, she looks good. She is glowing, she is happy. I love it, this makes me happy. We have her team here in the car with us, just so they can go over Robyn that she looks perfect “so are we late?” I questioned, she seemed to have made it seem like we are “not late, on time for me. Only the losers go early Chris, but once I get out of the car, Tina is going to be there and so is Jay Brown. I will be walking, and Chris please keep up, I need you there with me. Tina will be telling me where to go and stand, she will have this information, anything you hear from the paparazzi you ignore. Fuck them, I am not answering any questions, for now I am saying this, but things can change but just stay close to me. But most of all, have fun. Big day for you too Chris, you are the most handsome man Chris” so she says when she looks like that “you look like a whole meal, I look like nothing compared to you. Robyn you look amazing, you’re glowing. I am so lucky to have you” everyone in the car cooed out “isn’t Chris so cute” Adam said, I wish they wouldn’t do that.

#chrianna fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #chriannaff #chrianna ff #chrianna

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bettydice · 4 years

Text

I didn’t expect you to be lonely (too)

Xicheng, Modern AU, JC&WWX reconciliation, E-Rated

Chapter 1

When Jiang Cheng opens the window in the morning, crisp, cold air hits his face. The leaves on the tree in the courtyard of the apartment complex are turning colours.

When did that happen? When did summer end?

It’s a new semester, a new season, and Wei Wuxian still hasn’t returned. Hasn’t called, hasn’t messaged. Jiang Cheng had thought… had hoped…

He should’ve known better.

The wind picks up and raises goosebumps on his skin. A leaf, dark red, is torn from a branch and flutters through the air.

He used to like autumn.

Jiang Yanli was spring, Wei Wuxian was summer, Jiang Cheng was autumn. Winter was them together, because it was cold and they had to stick close.

Jiang Cheng scoffs and closes the window. There’s no use in remembering or hoping. He has work to do anyway.

He makes himself an unsatisfying breakfast that consists of instant coffee and - oh, there isn’t really anything else. Of course the fridge is fucking empty.

He goes jogging, but he’s hungry and it’s cold and he hates jogging.

He takes a shower, but the water is either too hot or too cold.

When he sits down at his desk and opens his writing program, it doesn’t fucking work. Because of course not.

Error #234871FUCKYOUJIANGCHENG

“I don’t even know what that means, I’m not a fucking COMPUTER SCIENTIST!”

Like some people. Some people, who betrayed and abandoned him and moved in with some random-ass people to look after a random-ass child for no good reason and left him all alone. Now he has no one to share his meals with, so there’s no point in making sure his fridge is full, and no one who also hates jogging, so they can suffer together, and no one to fucking help him with fucking computer issues and this is all fucking bullshit.

Jiang Cheng slams his laptop shut.

Fuck you, Wei Wuxian. This is all your fault.

Another headache creeps up his temples. He’s already completely done with this day. At 9:37 AM. Fuck. He has a fucking essay to write about some bullshit topic he doesn’t care about, but how is he supposed to do that when his laptop hates him as much as everyone else does and his head feels as though it’s splitting apart?

His phone rings, and the sound feels like someone is applying a power drill to his brain. And of course it’s not on his desk but far away on the counter. Because nothing in his life can ever be easy or convenient, oh no. He stretches his arm and then his whole upper body to try to grab it from the counter without having to get up from his desk and then there’s a TWINGE and oh no, that’s not good. His shoulder feels as though it’s on fire and… yep, he can’t fucking move his head.

FUCK. FUCKING FUCK SHIT BALLS CRAP FUCK SHIT. FUUUUUUUUCK.

And his phone keeps ringing.

Everyone ignores him for DAYS but NOW when he’s literally DYING and can’t reach his phone, they want to talk to him.

He gets up, ignores the pain shooting down his right arm, carefully shuffles towards the counter, and answers the phone with his left hand.

“WHAT?”

“A-Cheng?”

It’s his sister. Jiang Cheng’s stress levels automatically lower by about 13% as soon as he hears her voice.

“Jiejie, hey. Sorry, I just…” He switches his phone to the other hand and then gets a painful reminder that this side is fucked. “Fuck, ow.”

“A-Cheng? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing! I just... pulled a muscle or something.” He sits down again and bites his lip to suppress a wail of agony. “Why did you call, Jiejie?”

He can basically hear Jiang Yanli’s gentle, slightly concerned, smile through the phone. “Ah, then I’m calling just at the right time. You’ve been struggling with tension for a while now and as you know, your birthday is coming up and -”

“Don’t remind me. That’s still over a month away. And I’m not struggling!”

“- and I have the perfect gift for you. You don’t have to wait until November to do it either. And I think it would be so good for you, A-Cheng, especially now with your pulled muscle.”

“And what exactly is ‘it’?”

“Do you remember Lan Xichen? He’s a friend of Nie Mingjue, and his uncle is Lan Qiren. I think we met him a few times during one of those large business-people dinners we used to get invited to, when father…”

Was still alive.

“I don’t remember anyone I met there, because I was bored out of my mind.” Because Wei Wuxian wasn’t invited to those. And because they were fucking boring. “What does this have to do with my mysterious birthday present anyway?”

“Ah, well, it turns out he works as a physical therapist and I guess you could call him a sort of life coach. Massages, yoga, meditation, physical therapy. He has his own little studio in his apartment, so it’s very private and intimate, and he spends a lot of time with every client, it’s not just a twenty minute massage and then you’re done.”

His sister speaks with rare urgency and Jiang Cheng feels a little bewildered by having this just thrown at him. “So, you want me to-”

“I met him recently, such a lovely man, and asked him whether he had time to take on another client, and he does! So I booked you ten sessions and the first one is Thursday, 5 p.m. We were going to meet that afternoon, so I know you have time, and we can just reschedule our meeting!”

“Jiejie! Ten sessions… I don’t… I’m not a massage person! I don’t want some stranger touching me!” This is all really very sudden, so of course his first instinct is to say no.

His sister, of course, is used to that, and expected it. So she laughs softly and continues convincing him. “Ah, but he’s not a stranger, he’s Nie Mingjue��s best friend and as I said, I met him recently - he’s very kind and sweet and he doesn’t just do massages. I’m sure he’ll be willing to listen to what you’re comfortable with and figure out what’s best for you. A-Cheng, why don’t you just go to the first meeting and see what happens, hm? It’s my present for you.”

As if he could ever actually say no to his sister. Nobody can.

“Alright, alright. But if it’s not my thing, you’ll use the rest of the sessions, okay? I could watch A-Ling while you go get pampered a little.” His sister deserves this much more than he does anyway. Not that she would agree with that.

“Just go and meet with Lan Xichen first, before deciding that it’s not for you.” She’s using her stern voice, oh no.

“I will! I’m just saying!”

“Alright. Let me know how it goes then.”

“I will.”

“Did you have breakfast?”

“Ah, yes, of course.”

“Good. Remember to drink tea or water, too, not just coffee.”

“Yes, Jiejie.”

“And-”

“I’ll call you after I’ve met with Lan Xichen,” Jiang Cheng interrupts, before she can shower him with even more care. “And thank you. I… could probably use some… relaxation.”

“Great! I’ll text you the address in a bit.”

They chat a bit more about A-Ling and what shenanigans he gets up to now that he can walk, and when Jiang Cheng ends the call a while later, his mood has significantly improved.

His phone makes a noise again. He looks at the screen, expecting a text from his sister with Lan Xichen’s address, but... Fuck. He unlocks the screen and stares at his daily Wei Wuxian selfie. Today he’s wearing a bathrobe so fluffy, it seems to swallow him, and he’s making… duck lips. Jiang Cheng’s mood plummets to the ground.

Why can’t he delete this stupid alarm or app or whatever his brother has infested his phone with? Why doesn’t he just change his fucking number, get a new phone? Why does Wei Wuxian keep up this nonsense, even though he’s obviously not interested in being in contact with Jiang Cheng anymore? Why torment him with these little glimpses into a life that he lives without his brother? The selfies don’t arrive at a set time every day and it’s a new one every time, so it’s pretty safe to say, Wei Wuxian takes them and sends them himself every day. They used to arrive between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m., but recently he sometimes gets them as early as 9 a.m. On one shocking occasion it was 6:45 a.m., though Wei Wuxian did look very sleepy. Since when does Wei Wuxian get up that early?

He also seems to be spending a lot of time at a place that is not the flat he moved into with the Wens. Not that Jiang Cheng spends a lot of time analyzing the background of the pictures. Because he does not care what Wei Wuxian gets up to. Wei Wuxian does not care about him anymore either, beyond annoying him like this.

Jiang Cheng shakes his head to make his brain stop thinking about useless things. Immediately, pain shoots down his arm, burns in his neck.

Fuck.

Maybe he should just go back to bed. Clearly getting up was a mistake.

Thursday

Lan Xichen lives on the outskirts of the city. Not quite the suburbs, but in one of those areas where rich people enjoy having a garden, or at least a balcony, and less busy streets, while the city centre is still only a few subway stops away. The kind of area where his own family once lived.

Jiang Cheng checks the house number again and rushes towards the building, wrapping his jacket closer around him. It is colder now, he’s known this and yet didn’t take that into account when getting dressed.

He enters the building, takes the elevator to the 2nd floor, finds the right door and rings the doorbell.

He doesn’t have to wait long until Lan Xichen opens him.

Oh.

“A-Sang… who… who is that next to your brother?”

“Huh? Aaah, that’s Lan Xichen. Da-ge’s best friend. Why do you ask?”

“No reason!”

“Oooooh, I see.”

“Shut up!”

“Well, now I finally know your type, Cheng-Cheng. You’re into impossibly beautiful people who you’re too scared to talk to.”

“I said shut up! I just asked who it was!”

“First Wen Qing, now Xichen-ge… But don’t worry, he’s super nice. Now, his brother on the other hand… So hot, but-“

“I’m leaving!”

Fuck.

“Hello! You must be Jiang Wanyin.”

Lan Xichen smiles at him and yep, yep, Huaisang was right, impossibly beautiful. Fuck.

Oh shit, he still hasn’t said anything.

“Ah yes, that’s me. Hello. Nice to meet you.” Jiang Cheng couldn’t be more awkward if he tried. Except he can, because then he bows, way too low.

Lan Xichen seems to be too polite to laugh at him, but his eyes sparkle as though he wants to, while he invites Jiang Cheng inside.

The apartment is large and bright and… full of plants. Lan Xichen leads him into the living room, where a pot of tea and two mugs are waiting for them on the coffee table. Jiang Cheng sits down on a very comfortable chair, next to a large houseplant with beautiful green and red leaves. All in all, the surroundings help him feel way more relaxed than what would be appropriate for the situation. The situation being: Sitting across from the man Jiang Cheng has seen maybe three times, back when he was 17, from afar, and whom he used to spend quite some time thinking about what it would be like to kiss him. More than three times. The same man who is supposed to give him a massage.

“Is tea alright? Would you prefer something else?”

“Tea is lovely, thank you.” Jiang Cheng hurries to take a sip and hopefully smiles instead of grimacing.

Lan Xichen picks up a notebook and a pen, rests it on his legs, then takes a deep breath. Despite his gentle smile, and the soothing smell of jasmine tea, and the literal urban jungle he’s sitting in, Jiang Cheng thinks he can pick up a hint of nervousness from Lan Xichen. But no, he must be imagining it.

Lan Xichen opens his notebook and looks at Jiang Cheng. “So, your sister already told me that you’ve been dealing with a little tension and stress. If you’re comfortable with it, I would like to ask you a few questions and make myself an overview of where you hold your tension and how it affects you, so we can think about how to best help you.”

Jiang Cheng only smiles and nods.

“This is only a preliminary meeting, so I already know how to best proceed, once we start our sessions.”

Lan Xichen asks him a few questions about his daily schedule (repetitive), whether he does any exercise (yes, well, sort of, sometimes), is he sleeping well (eeh), does he often have headaches (yes), and so on. Jiang Cheng answers as best as he can, and even though Lan Xichen shows no judgment at all, it is mortifying for him. His life is a mess and clearly he’s responsible for all of it. Why doesn’t he do more exercise? If he has headaches all the time, he should be doing something about that!

“Mhm, have you ever tried Yoga before?”

“No.”

“Can you touch your toes?”

“I don’t know? Why would I need to touch my toes?!” Jiang Cheng regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth but Lan Xichen only looks amused.

“Excellent question.” Lan Xichen puts the notepad he’s been using back down on the table and stands up. “Would it be okay if I touch your neck and shoulders to have a closer look at your tension?”

“Yes, yes. That’s alright. Sure.” Jiang Cheng puts down the mug and rests his hands on his knees, trying to project that he’s totally casual and relaxed and that he never spent even a minute wondering how those hands might feel on his skin. Why do these things happen to him? Why can’t he even nurse a schoolboy crush for a few months and then forget about it without suffering consequences???

Lan Xichen’s hands are warm, but not too warm. Perfect temperature for being touched, really. His fingers are long and smooth and it feels really good, the way they’re digging into his muscles and-

“Fuck!”

“Sorry. Looks like I found a sore spot.” Lan Xichen strokes his fingers in a soothing apology over the spot and that’s almost worse, because it feels really good.

“I, uhm, apologise for the… rude language.”

“Oh, haha, I’ve heard worse from clients. No need to hold back, I’m of the opinion that it can be beneficial to find release.”

“Right.” This is like one of Jiang Cheng’s dreams that starts out beautiful and turns into a horrible nightmare halfway through. Will he make it through this without horribly embarrassing himself even further and/or offending Lan Xichen in the process?

“You’re really... “ Lan Xichen runs his hands up Jiang Cheng’s neck and slightly presses his thumbs into a spot between his ear and his jaw. Jiang Cheng groans. “You’re very tense. In a lot of places. Do you grind your teeth at night? Or clench them?”

“Maybe?”

Lan Xichen rests his hands on Jiang Cheng’s shoulders for a second, then sits down opposite of him again. Jiang Cheng immediately misses the warmth of his hands, which is ridiculous and he needs to get a grip.

“Alright, well, I think for the beginning we will be focusing on relaxing and loosening your muscles. So, massage, thermotherapy, some gentle stretches. I’ll also help you find things you can do at home to destress and relieve tension. Does that sound good?”

“Uhm, yes. It does.” Jiang Cheng kind of tuned out after Lan Xichen said ‘massage’, because… He has this dreadful feeling his schoolboy crush never went away and instead just laid dormant until right now. Which is so fucking inconvenient, of course it’s happening to Jiang Cheng. “Thank you, Lan-ge… uhm… Lan Xichen.”

How should he address him? Apparently, he’s sort of a family friend (Where and why did Jiejie even meet him? Why didn’t he ask?) but now he’s also taking care of Jiang Cheng in a professional, sort of medical sense...

Lan Xichen is, of course, not oblivious to his discomfort, but smiles and pours him some more tea. “Whatever you feel comfortable with. Laoshi is fine, too.”

Lan Xichen then goes through a few formalities with him. He informs him he’s being paid per session, not by the hour, so they’ll never have to hurry. They exchange phone numbers, in case someone needs to reschedule or Lan Xichen wants to send him some exercises or something. Jiang Cheng only smiles and nods and agrees. When Lan Xichen proposes they have the first session tomorrow afternoon, Jiang Cheng smiles and nods, too.

After, Lan Xichen escorts him to the door, wishes him a lovely evening, says he’s looking forward to their sessions and Jiang Cheng should remember to wear something comfortable. When he smiles again, Jiang Cheng almost walks into the door.

As soon as Jiang Cheng arrives home, he calls his sister.

“A-Cheng! How was it?”

“Uhm, fine, but that’s not why-”

“He’s very handsome, isn’t he?”

“I… what? Why… why would you bring that up?” Jiang Cheng gives his phone a side-eye, even though his sister can’t see it.

“Well, it’s impossible to not notice. And he has such a lovely personality, too.” Jiang Yanli says this as casually as though she’s talking about the weather.

“Yes… I guess.” While both of those things are true, it’s unlike his sister to bring it up. Or at least, to bring it up so quickly and directly. “Jiejie, how do you know Lan Xichen again? Where did you meet?”

“Oh… he came over for tea recently.”

“And why did he do that?”

“Because I invited him.”

Well, his sister clearly is keeping something from him, something connected to his old-new crush and physical therapist and Jiang Cheng hates not being in the know when other people are clearly keeping secrets from him.

“How did you meet him? Why did you invite him? Why do you not want to tell me?”

“A-Cheng…”

Oh, of course. “Wei Wuxian.”

Jiang Yanli sighs audibly, probably frowning in the way she always does when they skirt around the topic of him and Wei Wuxian not talking. “Yes. Lan Xichen is-”

“I don’t want to know!” Of course this has something to do with Wei Wuxian. Because he can’t have anything in his life without Wei Wuxian. Are they… they’re not dating or anything, right? That would just be… actually that would be fucking typical.

“Jiang Cheng!”

“I didn’t do anything!” Is his sister… getting cross with him???

“I just… he misses you.”

“Yeah? I don’t see any evidence of that!” His headache is back with a vengeance.

“Because you’re not looking. Because you’ve convinced yourself he doesn’t!” It’s rare for Jiang Yanli to raise her voice, and compared to Jiang Cheng, she still sounds gentle. But he can hear her frustration, hear how tiring this is for her, and… He sometimes forgets he and Wei Wuxian aren’t the only people who are involved in this. Who suffer.

“Then why doesn’t he call me? He obviously still has my number!”

“Why don’t you call him?”

Because he doesn’t want to call someone who doesn’t want him. Because he doesn’t want Wei Wuxian to come back because he feels pity or obligation. Because he’s scared Wei Wuxian would still not come back.

“He’s the one who left.”

“It’s been over a year. Can’t you… I’m so tired of holding louder than normal conversations with my husband in the kitchen while one of you is in the living room, so you know the other is okay without actually asking for it.”

“A-jie, I’m sorry. I didn’t know… I… It’s just… “ Great, now Jiang Cheng feels mad at Wei Wuxian, guilty for upsetting his sister, who should never be upset, and sad… because he misses his stupid brother, doesn’t he.

“I can’t force either of you to make the first step, but… you’re both suffering. A-Cheng, I just want you both to be happy.” Now she just sounds resigned. Fuck.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll… I’ll think about it. I promise.” If only because his sister deserves better than this - being stuck in the middle between them.

“Thank you. I love you, A-Cheng.”

“… Love you, too.”

“Now, tell me about your meeting today. Did you already get a massage?”

Right. Lan Xichen. “Jiejie… is Wei Wuxian dating Lan Xichen?”

Jiang Yanli laughs. “No. No, no. He’s dating his brother. Don’t worry.”

“I wasn’t worrying! Just… wanted to know how you met.”

“He’s very handsome, isn’t he?”

“Stop asking that! That’s not why I… you know what, I have to go. I have… university… stuff. Talk to you later!”

“Bye!”

He can hear his sister still laughing when he ends the call. Mortifying. Why did he have to ask?

Wei Wuxian is dating Lan Xichen’s brother… That’s… Why is the world so fucking tiny? He couldn’t have picked anyone else?

Not that it matters. It’s not like Jiang Cheng was ever gonna do anything about… Lan Xichen is attractive and nice and lovely, which is simply a fact. Like his sister said, it’s impossible to not notice. Doesn’t have to mean anything. Jiang Cheng will only concentrate on… being less tense and maybe having fewer headaches.

And maybe… thinking… about… contacting Wei Wuxian…

“He misses you.”

Jiang Cheng is not convinced.

But…

#Xicheng #mdzs #cql #the untamed #Jiang Cheng #Lan Xichen #Jiang Cheng/Lan Xichen #background Wangxian #Modern AU #angst but not too angsty #they're also very soft #betty drabbles #To Meet You verse

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