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odiesdayoff · 4 months

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The Winner Is...

pair: Robert Fischer x fem!reader

summary: Robert Fischer's stuck judging this year's Miss America Pageant. That doesn't mean he can't use his position to his advantage.

warnings: extremely dubious consent!! (heed the warnings!); mean/condescending Robert Fischer; anal; blowjobs; deepthroating; unprotected sex; a bit of misogyny; power imbalance

made reader from Georgia because I've been watching a lot of Kim of Queens. I've never written a lot of this before so I hope you can enjoy <3 this is also on Ao3 so yea... feedback always appreciated!

but also your consumption is your fault so if you don't like the content well then you should not have skipped/ignored the warnings

ALSO happy valentine's day from me :)

“In your opinion, what is a way that young women can lead successful lives in traditionally male-dominated professions?” Miss America from 2003 spoke clearly into the microphone. She wore her winning sash across her chest and a sparkling dress.

On her left, a former professional basketball player crossed her arms and sat back. She won the finals for her team two years in a row and now she was stuck judging brainless, but beautiful women being asked sexist questions in the veil of feminism and the uplifting of women. It didn’t matter, though. She was getting paid.

On the right of Miss America 2003, Robert Fischer leaned on the judge’s table with his hands folded. Ever since he fumbled the business deal with Eclipse Solutions, Maurice thought that the best form of punishment was to take his spot as a judge in this competition. Initially, Robert thought that it wasn’t much of a punishment, but after a long week of nonstop noise and hearing these women yap about how they were going to change the world, he understood why his father made him.

The hard-on he was sporting towards the beginning of the competition was long gone. He couldn’t bear to look at any of them anymore. Even during the swimsuit portion, for God’s sake.

Your smile never fell. The swimsuit you chose emphasized your breasts and slimmed your waist. Saying that you chose it was an exaggeration, your coach said that if you could catch the eyes of Fischer and Johnson, who your coach was convinced was a lesbian, you would have it in the bag. You still weren’t too sure about it. Knowing that your body was getting exposed to millions of people over the television was enough to raise your anxiety.

Attempting to not look like a total fool, you took a deep breath and nodded in response to her question. “Well, as someone who is in the career path of accounting, I have faced a lot of adversarial coworkers and peers. I believe that the best way that young women can gain success is to keep their self-confidence and never stop allowing themselves to learn and grow both professionally and personally. The best way to prove your doubters wrong is to excel in the path that you choose.” You weren’t exactly sure what you were saying, but you had hoped that it came across as something really intelligent to the judges. This was a question you had practiced for so long with your coach, but your mind drew a blank.

Robert held back a laugh or at least a scoff. There’s no way he would hire you. With a face like that and the way you spoke, there’s no way that you knew how to do anything within the range of taxes or money. Probably a case of affirmative action, he was sure. Either that or you sucked the right man’s dick to get to where you were now.

Miss America 2003 grinned. “Thank you, Miss Georgia. What a lovely way of thinking. I wish you the best of luck! Mr. Fischer, do you have a question?”

Robert’s bright blue eyes pierced into yours, despite the fair amount of distance from each other. He leaned into his mic. “Do you believe that you get respected more or less because of your appearance?”

The question felt like a double-edged sword. The last thing the general public wanted to hear was that you thought you were beautiful. It weirded people out to acknowledge your beauty, according to your coach.

“While I do think that appearance does affect the way that strangers treat others, it’s in your personality and how you treat others that matters. For me, it doesn’t matter what someone looks like for me to respect them. People that base how they treat others based on looks aren’t worth your time.” You had only hoped that the foundation you had on was holding back the sweat threatening to fall down your forehead. Robert Fischer had been asking the most condescending and borderline rude questions to everyone. It was bound to happen to you, too.

“Mm. Thank you.” He didn’t look amused.

Music began to play and the audience cheered. You smiled again at the judges' table before leaving the stage in the T walk. Once you were off stage and out of sight of both the judges and the audience, you let out a sigh and released the way that you were sucking in your stomach. You had been doing pageants like this ever since you were a little girl and now, your dream of being in this competition was real. Why did it feel so humiliating?

There was only one final day. It was the evening gown portion and the announcement of Miss America for the year. After that, you could finally relax. That is, unless you won and would immediately have to start your training for Miss Universe. Maybe you didn’t want to relax, after all.

By the time the sun fell, most of the contestants were either spending their last night together in their hotel rooms and doing spa nights while the rest decided to go out to the clubs. You were advised not to befriend any of them by your coach to avoid feeling guilty when you eventually won and they lost. Now, you were alone at a nearby bar nursing a beer and listening to the band playing. It was a cover band of The Killers. Mr. Brightside was the current song getting butchered by the young singer.

It was freeing to be out of dresses and swimsuits and finally not showing off your body. You wore loose jeans and a top with a jacket over it. If they didn’t know you, nobody would even know that you were who you were.

You felt someone sit next to you. In a bar of several open seats, of course, they chose the one basically on top of you. They waved the bartender down and ordered a whiskey. The voice was familiar, one that was ringing in your head all day. You faced him to confirm your suspicions. Robert fucking Fischer.

The drink in your hand was what you tried to focus on. “Not very talkative off stage, huh?” It would be rude to ignore him, you knew that.

You shrugged. “My social battery is drained.” While it was partially the truth, he was the last person you wanted to be speaking to.

“You know,” he swirled the whiskey in his glass, “it’s between you and Miss California.” He took a generous sip of his drink as he let the information sink in.

Excitement and guilt mixed in your stomach. “You shouldn’t say that. We shouldn’t even be speaking, Mr. Fischer.” You finished your drink and stood from the barstool. His hand wrapped around your wrist and stopped you from taking a step away.

“You wanna win, don’t you?” You sat back down, mostly involuntarily, and met his eyes with your own again. They were almost hypnotizing. “I can make that happen.”

“What do you mean?” Questions ran through your head. Was he asking for a bribe? Maybe he had some sort of bet running on you winning.

He smirked at the sight of your intrigue. “This whole competition’s about who’s the best woman, right? They’re still forgetting about the most important thing that makes a woman.” He leaned in closer to you, his hot breath against your skin. “How well they can fuck.”

You waited a moment to make sure that he was being serious, hoping that he wasn’t. The lustful look in his eyes didn’t tell you that he was joking at all. “You’re disgusting.”

“Even if I am, I’m the deciding factor on whether you go down in history as a winner or as nobody at all.” He finished his drink and stood up, fixing his tie. “Johnson likes you. Miss 2003 wants California. It’s all up to me.”

If he was lying, rejecting him wouldn’t mean much in the long run. If he wasn’t, you probably would’ve spent the rest of your life regretting taking him to bed. “Someone will see us going to the hotel together.”

He pulled his wallet from his back pocket and handed you one of his room keys. “Room 704. Wait ten minutes and then come up.” Without saying another word, he dropped some cash on the bar for his drink and left.

The room key felt heavy in your hand. Was winning worth anything if it wasn’t honest? He better have a decent-sized dick if you were really going to do this.

You felt a hand tap your shoulder. “Y/n L/n? Oh my god, I’m such a big fan! I’ve been watching the whole pageant with my daughter, she loves you!” A woman shook your hand, feeling a bit too formal. The guilt grew in your stomach. How could you be a role model for little girls like this? “Can I have a picture?”

Despite your appearance, you nodded. The room key burned a hole in your pocket as you fixed your hair and took a picture with the woman. Hopefully, the dim light of the bar made you look better than you felt.

It had already been fifteen minutes since Robert had left. You finally paid for your drink and headed for the hotel. With each step, your anxiety grew. The elevator rose to the seventh floor and you stopped in front of 704. Instead of knocking, you pulled the room key out and inserted it into the door. The light flashed green and you pushed it open.

Robert was sitting at the edge of the bed without his clothes, stroking himself and staring at the door until you finally walked in. “You’re late.” You kept your eyes around his, trying to prevent yourself from looking any lower.

“I got caught up with something.” You took your jacket off and laid it on the office chair. Given his state of undress, you weren’t entirely sure whether or not you should strip now or wait for his instruction. He seemed like the type who was obsessed with control, especially in the bedroom. The last thing you needed was for him to get angry with you over something so trivial and ruin your chances.

He rolled his eyes. “Sounds like you don’t really want this, don’t you? To win?”

Frantically, you shook your head. “I want it.”

He pointed to the floor right in front of him and spread his knees further apart. You didn’t respond, knowing it was most likely for nothing, and knelt in front of him. For the way that he acted, you would assume it was because he was overcompensating. God, you were wrong.

His free hand grabbed hold of your hair and pushed your head closer to his aching cock. He leaned back. “You’re not gonna win just by looking at it.” You held back from commenting on his attitude and kissed the blushing red tip, the same color as his lips.

You flattened your tongue against the underside of his head, allowing his precum and your saliva to mix. After hearing the slightest moan of pleasure from him, which was an exhale at best, you took a few inches of him into your mouth. His hand in your hair guided you back and forth along his length.

“That’s all you’re gonna take? I think you could do much better than that.” He taunted, not pushing you down and wanting you to do it voluntarily. “Or, I could just call down Miss California. She’d love to deepthroat me.”

You tried to relax your throat and took him deeper. He was big, much bigger than what you were used to, but you could take him. You inched deeper until your nose pressed against his lower stomach and your breathing was constricted. “Atta girl.” He smelled like the generic body soap the hotel offered with a mix of his cologne. If you could focus on breathing through your nose and sucking him off the best you could, this would be over quickly.

Hearing his heavy breathing and attempts to hide his whimpers sent shockwaves down your spine. You felt the warmth growing in between your legs the more you pleasured him. “I’m about to cum. You’ll swallow, right?”

While you couldn’t answer, you made a sound of agreement that vibrated down your throat. You’d need to do some vocal treatment and tea tonight so you still could speak tomorrow. “Fuck.” He gripped your hair tighter as he came, ropes of cum shooting down your throat.

He finally pulled out once he had fully finished. You wiped a trail of cum and spit from your lips and looked up to him. “Not bad. Though, I’ve had much better. I guess I overestimated you. Take off the rest of your clothes.”

“What does that mean?” You cocked a brow. It felt even more humiliating considering your position in front of him and the way that you could still taste the remnants of his semen coating your throat.

“Oh, come on. You get a high-paying job straight out of college at a Big 4? You’re either a genius, which I doubt considering half of the answers you’ve given so far, or you’ve slept your way into the job. Now, strip for me.” He spoke matter-of-factly. It was like he’d already convinced himself of his theories, even though they were far from the truth. Couldn’t imagine that a woman like you could make her way up the corporate ladder without the help of rich and successful parents.

There was no use in arguing, you told yourself and took your clothes off until you were standing naked in front of him. “How exactly is the winner chosen? Aren’t there scoresheets? You’re making it sound like it’s entirely based on personal preference.”

He laughed, this time, a genuine one. “Scoresheets are arbitrary. We make those up to align with who we like the best.” He gestured to the bed behind him with his head as he stood. You followed his order and sat on the edge where he had previously been. His tongue flicked around his lips as he got a good look at you, sitting there so obediently for him. “Didn’t even touch you yet and you’re already dripping.”

You gave him your best version of doe eyes that you could, following the instruction of your coach. She always said that facial expressions were the most important aspect of impressing someone. If you could read the person and make yourself into their ideal partner, they’d be putty in your hands. Robert seems to like to be in charge and superior, but there was an underlying hint of something you couldn’t put your finger on. Maybe it was the desire to be nurtured?

“Can’t imagine you’ll feel that good. Not as tight as you used to be, hm?” He took hold of your knees and separated them enough for his hips to fit. He was slowly getting harder again and you felt his tip nudge your clit before gathering your arousal on himself. “How do you think we can remedy that?”

He jerked himself off using your slick, then moved the tip to settle against your ass. You immediately stiffened against him and put your hands against his chest. “No. I don’t do that.”

He groaned and took a step away from you. “Little Miss Georgia Peach is too good to take it up the ass? I’m trying to help you win, but I guess you don’t care.” He picked up your discarded clothes and tossed them to you.

Your eyes followed him as he walked to the hotel phone and began to dial a number. He checked his watch. The person he was dialing answered. “Yeah, hi. Annie? I need you to do something for me. If you could-” You almost leaped towards the phone and pressed the button, ending the call. Annie was Miss California, he didn’t even need to continue the call for you to understand what he was doing.

“I’ll let you!” You were nearly out of breath, your voice hoarse.

He had to hide his smile from his plan working. “No, sweetheart. You have to ask me for it. Specifically.”

“I want you to fuck my ass, Robert.” You gulped. If this wasn’t your dream, you wouldn’t be begging him like this.

“Turn around.” Once you turned, his hands were on your waist and his tip rested against your ass. He slipped two fingers into your pussy, gathering arousal, and then re-lubed his cock. You’d done this before, but it wasn’t something you necessarily enjoyed. The pain outweighed the pleasure. You just needed to breathe through it.

Your hands gripped the sheets below once his head was inside your tight hole. He slowly pushed further inside until he bottomed out. The white, hot pain was rippling through your body. You focused on inhaling and exhaling and continuing to hold tightly to the bedsheets.

He offered you some mercy, moving only after about ten seconds of being inside. After that, he fucked you as he pleased, entirely ignoring how you might’ve been feeling. You were gonna be sore tomorrow. “Fuck, this is how Miss America should feel.”

He pushed your face into the bed so that he could get a better angle and began to fuck into you roughly, rutting into you like he’d die if he didn’t cum within the next few minutes.

Confusion surrounded you when he pulled out and you felt a sudden emptiness. Not that you were complaining. He flipped you to your back and you could barely process what he was doing before his hot cum was spurting onto your breasts and stomach.

He pushed his hair back and caught his breath, taking a step away from you. “Get dressed and leave. I’ve got some calls to make.”

You couldn’t help but feel butterflies in your stomach at his confirmation of your win. Maybe it was the orgasm that had never reached climax. Either way, you couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

Pins pricked against your soft skin as they held parts of your evening gown together. Lights glare on you and your competitors on the stage. It took a lot of your might to not show the extreme soreness that you felt between your legs. You knew that if you were to touch your breasts or tighten the dress a bit more, you’d only be pushing further against the bruises Robert had given you.

The man in question sat in his chair with the other two judges, arms crossed as usual. He barely gave you a passing glance, instead, he focused on discussing things with the judges or looking at the other contestants. Maybe it was just a ploy to not make it seem like he already knew who was going to win. Certainly, that was it.

The announcer walked on the stage from the judge’s panel with an envelope in his hand. That envelope had your name on it, you knew. He was an irrelevant game show host that you remembered watching when you were home sick from school as a child. Whatever paid the bills.

You kept your award-winning smile on while the announcer took his microphone and began to speak about how the competition was the opposite of what most people thought when it came to beauty pageants. Mostly pandering and filibustering so that the program would be able to run another round of advertisements when they played it on cable.

“Well, I have in my hand the name of Miss America of this year. Without further ado, why don’t I open it and save these women some anxiety?” He laughed at his own joke while the audience cheered.

Miss California stood next to you on your left and Miss Connecticut on your right. As per tradition, you held hands with them while the announcer opened the envelope of the winner. You almost felt bad for them, knowing that they were going to lose.

The envelope was open. The announcer leaned into the microphone. “And the new Miss America is…Miss California!”

It was as if you were seeing things in black and white. Confetti fell from the ceiling and Miss California dropped your hand to receive her flowers and sash. You knew that crying would make you look bad, like a sore loser, but that’s the only thing that you felt like doing. You forced a smile and clapped for her.

Robert clapped for the winner, though his cold stare was on you. What you’d never forget was the smile plastered on his face.

He had won.

#inception #robert fischer x reader #cillian murphy x reader #robert fischer #odiesdayoff #cillian murphy

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lorata · 23 days

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any particular ideas about the victors and empathy? like are there any that are low/no empathy, or any that are hyperempathetic? it would be interesting to see how empathy or lack thereof would impact their experiences/images both before, during, and after their games (even if panem probably doesn't have a very good understanding of what that entails from a psychology perspective lol)

a fun thing is that both Selene and Petra are low/no empathy, which makes them a fascinating pair. Petra knows she's missing something early and so outsources her sense of right & wrong to The Rules while Selene just does not care and this is a source of conflict for the two of them quite often.

Selene bases her morality around You Are Annoying Me, Personally whereas Petra's is You Have Broken The Rules This Is Bad And Unfair And Wrong which is why they drive each other up the wall

at their first kill tests Selene doesn't feel guilty. she vaguely thinks she should? but she doesn't, and they're here to kill, so, oh well. Petra asks her victim what she did, learns she did something bad, and is like, all right then, I'm good. they have a chat after Selene's about how neither felt bad and it's the one time they're both weirdly sympatico

both Selene and Petra have images that are slightly ... off/wild/feral, in no small part due to this. Selene they have to constantly remind her to pull it back or she'll go full villain (ha ha OH WELL given that she kills her district partner immediately but Misha knows). Petra's original was a bit more on the like ..... off-putting aloof killer vibe, similar to Clove, but with the maces she never got to pull that out so she had to go for the nymphomaniac over the top angle instead.

post-Games it's easy to keep things from Petra re: the state of the world until things explode because she just doesn't think about it. she has enough to deal with re: her own healing and constantly getting re-traumatized and all that nonsense that she doesn't have the mental energy to put towards things like oh what is it like for the districts or the other victors or is the only person who's nice to me actually doing this as part of a giant machiavellian scheme. it all falls apart in canon divergence once she has time to really sit and wrestle with those questions? but boy it takes some time and work and the others (particularly the younger ones) have some choice words for her in the meantime

Callista is also very low empathy, this (ahem) very clearly factored into her image & strategy. She does not care about the other districts and she says what she wants and if you get offended that's on you. Now mind you, while Calli has low empathy and her circle is small, IF you are inside that circle her compassion level is extremely high. Calli knows that Nero is hurting and she wants to do many, many murders on his behalf. She is very angry that she cannot. Ditto with her tributes, most of whom are similarly villainized by the narrative which is part of the reason she keeps choosing them anyway. In the AUs where she does manage to land either Creed or Alec she doesn't get what they're feeling half the time but she will help them regardless and god help anyone who tries to stand between them.

on the flip side we have Devon and Alec, who are both on the hyper-empathy end of things. Devon is able to control and use his fairly well, both in the Games and beyond; Alec has much more trauma and tends to be paralyzed by it for a lot longer before finally managing to work through things as an adult. part of Alec's problem is being unable to make his own decisions or justify his emotions

ironically Claudius is also very high on empathy but has no idea for a long time given that his specific cocktail of trauma and rage responses resulted in him lashing out and hurting people, so his whole "i'm a monster" thing dug in pretty deep and he withdraws. post-games though he can't help it and it lands him in trouble fairly quickly since he can't stop THINKING about other people and it sends him straight to treason town before he's even finished his victory tour, lol. post-canon divergence he winds up being like ... a teen counsellor for ex-centre kids which is the last thing he thought he'd be doing, but there you go. funny enough Eibhlin is the first person to tell him that he's high empathy and he doesn't believe her. but one of the reasons he's so good at 'mentoring' Selene is his ability to get inside her head before she even knows her own feelings really

in general while they don't have official vocab for it the Centre definitely IDs kids who have high empathy and/or compassion and has ways to decentralize that, whether it's giving them a cause or comfort in the rules or helping to carefully dissociate what they do from who they are. for the kids on the other end it's more a question of managing that line so they don't go too far.

#lorata answers #we must be killers: tales from district 2 #transrevolutions

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rinatic · 1 year

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Call me babe | Nakamoto Yuta

Pairing: collegestudent!yuta x fem!reader

Genre: college students, popular boy yuta, fluff in the end

Word count: 1700+

Warnings: jealous and protective yuta

A/n: i had a hard time choosing a member for this oneshot, so i decided it's yuta :)

"I hate yuta, i really do."

"Of course you do, sane people hate him."

"Then the rest of the female population in the campus aren't normal."

Your best friend rolls her eyes at the mention of yuta, who you just admitted to hate. While in reality, he was your crush.

As you fix your hair, flicking it over your shoulders. You thought of him. I don't have a crush on him! He's an asshole! He doesn't deserve my time. You tell yourself repeatedly. But the voice in your head keeps coming up and 'corrects' these thoughts. You do love him, you just hate how popular he's with women and you can't do anything about because he's not yours.

And that's a fact.

"Ugh, why is he so handsome? Why does god keeps creating assholes with pretty faces?" Your best friend shots a look in your way through the glass reflection and you continue pretending to fix your clothes and ignore the glare.

Yes, he's handsome, annoyingly handsome. Everyone knows that and there's no denying in that part, but the streak of arrogance and his attitude cancels out the sexiness.

"Handsome or not, he's still an asshole." She says as she applies some mascara.

You kinda felt mad when she said that. Yes he's an asshole, but no one should call him that except me. You thought. You two ledt the bathroom and walked the hallway together.

There he was, standing with the group of trash men he's with everyday. You stare at the back of his head. His perfect long brown hair has passed his ears. You don't think you've seen him with long hair before. Damn, he must look good.

He always looks good. Even if he's wearing the most terrible outfit in the world.

He turns around and you find yourself staring at him, these long brown strands definitely made him become hotter.

Damn.

To say you two run in different crowds is putting it mildly. And that's what you hate the most. You both are the complete opposites, you have literally nothing in common and that what has been holding you back from opening a conversation with him for a long time, you know you can talk to people with different interests well, but if you talk to him, you feel like you'll look like the biggest loser in the world.

It's not like you have a chance to talk to him anyways, most of the time, he's either with his homies, or with those girls who are always glued to him. And you don't think he would think of you as someone interesting. Because when he finds someone interesting, he talks to them instantly, but you've never even greeted each other. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever for him to know you exist and you assure yourself that fine with that.

Even though it hurts a little.

"His hair looks like a mop." She says as she laughs, you curse under my breath. A fake smile appears on your lips. "Yeah, you're right," you lie, cautiously gazing at him. "I can clean this hallway with his hair." I may be mocking his ass but the last thing I want is for him to actually hear me. You thought to yourself.

Yuta looks in your way, his tongue dancing with a lolipop. His eyes meet yours and your body immediately becomes stiff. It's as if time has stopped. He smirks at you before sucking on it, shifting his eyes back to his best friends.

It may sound dramatic, but you actually stopped yourself from unleashing a scream, you felt the urge to scream like a fan just because he gave you that look. If i turn into a whore there’s only one person to blame for it. Him.

You hoped your bestie didn't notice what just happened. You lick your lips as you look at the other way, you waant to avoid him, everytime your eyes meet your feelings become obvious and you don't want that. You don't want anyone to see that, especially your best friend..

..and him.

"I'm so bored." She mutters. "Me too, I'm going to get us coffee." You head to the cafeteria without giving her a chance to reply. Maybe drinking coffee will stop you from daydreaming about him. It became a routine to think about him for a good hour. Damn, i just have a crush on him and i'm like this, what will i do if he was my boyfriend?

The thought actually formed butterflies in your stomach.

You stand up and look at every listed drink. "Hello.." the cashier trailed with a smile as he saw you approaching the counter. "Hi, is the coffee machine working?" You ask, last time you came to get some coffee last week, there was another cashier who told you that it broke. So you decided to ask before ordering.

"Thank god, it wasn't working last time i came." You said. "Sorry about that." You muttered a small 'it's okay'.

"If it wasn't working now, i would've fixed it just for you." He smiled warmly and put his arms on the counted, giving off a friendly vibe. You blushed a little at his words and he giggled. "So cute."

"What would you like to order, cutie?" His smile faded slowly but you didn't notice. "I'll take one small coffee.. and-"

"Make it two."

A deep voice trailed from behind you, it was sunny so you can see a shadow hovering over your body. Turning around. It was none other than nakamoto yuta. His gaze snags on yours as he clears his throat.

"I've been searching for you, babe." His voice is husky and loud. Your heart thuds. Hard. Like it came to a complete and utter stop. How am I still alive? You thought. Swallowing the saliva that bulit up in your mouth. "Fine." You don't know how you managed not to stutter, even though you feel like your knees will betray you any moment.

Why would he call me babe? What game is he playing? You thought. Yeah, yuta is a player that's why you toned down how you feel at the moment, you won't let yourself get excited over it.

Those dark brown eyes of his never leaving you. You're the one who has to look away first. His gaze twists you up inside. So you decided to keep your attention on the cashier.

"Who were you going to buy coffee for?" He asks, he's not looking at you this time. The tone of his voice is much calmer. You don't even know why was aggressive the cashier earlier. You think of a reply as your lips form a straight line. "Why you're asking?" You decided not to tell him that it's for your best friend, you want to know what drove him to ask this question.

"Don't drink anything with him."

He says, straightforwardly and his gaze doesn't meet yours yet. Did he notice him flitting with you? A shiver moves down your spine due to his deep voice but you ignore it. "Why though?"

"Just don't. Don't trust any man here."

"Including you?"

"Except me."

You stop talking and stare at the coffee that is being made. Ignoring the fact that your heart beats loudly like it's going to brust out of your chest. You clear your throat. Why the fuck is time moving so slow? You thought. Even though you like him and acknowledge the effect he has on you. Yuta was now making you grow hotter the more you're standing with him. It became so hot, even though it's currently winter.

You catch a glance of him, he's glaring so hard at the poor boy, you don't want to jump to conclusions, but you couldn't help but think that he's jealous. You try to convince your mind that he's not but that voice in your head keeps hitting you with it.

Finally, he comes with your coffee. Yuta's attention falls on it. "Are you sure you don't want anything else?" The cashier asks warmly. In a second, yuta reaches for your shoulder and glues you to his side, putting his arm protectively on your shoulder without touching you much. His warm embrace warmed you and tge smell of his fresh cologne hit your nostrills. "If my girlfriend wanted something, she would've said." He practically throws the money on the counter.

My girlfriend? God.. he sounded so fucking sexy. your mind fixated on that word.

He drags you softly with him away, as if the cafeteria is a bad place he's protecting you from. You really want an explanation, but there's no time for that, that's what he thinks.

"I could've paid for mine though." You mumble quietly. He takes out his lolipop and takes a sip, ignoring what you said. Then he gives you his and you wonder why, in a moment, he grabs yours and takes a sip of it.

"Hmm, it's safe." He says before you can protest. He smiles at you brightly. Before putting the lolipop in his mouth again, with a smirk, he hands you your drink and steps to the back slowly. "Y/n! Don't forget to call me babe too." He waves at you before rushing back to his friends. You smile at how he called your name. Gosh, he's cute. You thought.

You stand there dumbfounded. Wondering what the hell he meant, as you held your coffee in your other hand, something fell to the ground. You kneel and take it, it's a tiny folded piece of paper. Opening it

"Call me, love 2553-****?" You read what's in it, you slowly proceed everything, resulting in a cute smile appearing on your face, you jump like a kid as you hug the paper to your chest. You stare at the paper for a little and take a sip of the coffee, specifically from the spot he drank from.

You felt guilty because of how you thought of him before, you thought he was the ultimate fuckboy due to the stories othere gossip abouy around which are probably fake. Lots of people are jealous of him so maybe they did portray him as an asshole because of that? He's a sweetheart and it's totally unexpected.

"There you are!" Your best friend walks to you with exhaustion. You brush your thoughts away upon seeing her, hoping she didn't see you with him.

"You're drinking- wait! Y/n!! Where's my coffee?!"

#yuta moodboard #nct 127 #nct fluff #nct fanfic #nct u #nct yuta #nct #nct blurbs #nct headcanons #yuta scenarios #yuta imagines #yuta smut

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lockea · 4 months

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10 Fanfiction Recs

In honor of IFD 2024 and @ao3org organizing the feedback fest, here are 10 fanfiction from my bookmarks (all complete, lots of oldies) spread across as many fandoms as I read.

Scylla and Charybdis by Mithrigil, puella_nerdii Fandom: The Hunger Games "Finnick decides that, come hell or high water, he is bringing his tribute home from the seventieth Hunger Games. That tribute is Annie Cresta. But Finnick never thought that he would have to choose between bringing her home and keeping her safe, and he wants both. How Annie Cresta crept up on Finnick Odair."

I heard Hunger Games was back in fashion, so have this fic from 2011 that's just so good.

Primary Colors by RobotSquid Fandom: Homestuck (no, I am not apologizing!) "As a young troll living in the desert with the Dolorosa, the Signless comes across an unconscious psionic wriggler. Over the next few nights, they come to understand and care for each other. Although seemingly destined to be apart, they make a promise to be together again. But the destructive ways of the highbloods are becoming more widespread, and as the Signless begins to dream, he dedicates himself to regaining the peaceful world Alternia once was. But troll society as it stands now holds no sympathy for a candy red mutant, a psionic slave, or the matespritship they have."

A canon-compliant (I think, I stopped reading Homestuck around this time) story about the Signless that's full of great world building and honestly I don't remember much but I have it on my bookmarks list for a reason, I'm sure.

A Long Road to Destiny by Miko Fandom: Final Fantasy VII (set in Final Fantasy X verse) "The summoner's journey is a long, hard path to walk. Having guardians you trust makes all the difference in the world."

The story follows Cloud, who is half Al-Behd, as he makes his pilgrimage to be a summoner. Early on, he's joined by Sephiroth, a former Summoner, and Zack, who wants to be Sepiroth's guardian, and the three begin quite the epic adventure to save Spira.

Immovable, unbreakable by Cards_Slash Fandom: Assassin's Creed "Altair has known since he was thirteen years old, the year he realized he was an omega, that his body was never going to be his own. He thought he had overcome his own fate when Al Mualim agreed to allow him to stay on as an Assassin but even becoming the youngest Master Assassin ever did not save him. Following the semi-failed mission at Solomon's Temple, Altair is gifted to Malik as a reward for his service. Malik doesn't want Altair but he does not turn down the chance to show him his place."

A retelling of the first game if Altair was an omega, lost his assassin status, was summarily married off to Malik, and had to work around all that to still solve the mystery and save the day. Altair is truly the biggest badass in this story, and the historical perspective on an Omegaverse is truly neat.

Teach Me How to Fight (I'll Show You How to Win) by Skalidra Fandom: Batman (DCU) "Dick is taken by the Court after his parents' death to be trained as a Talon. He becomes loyal, deadly, and the Court's primary Talon. At least until he meets a boy from the Court's secondary, darker kind of servant who gets assigned to be his partner, and makes him start to care about things other than serving the Court. Tim, a boy-genius member of the Court, could have told anyone who listened that pairing Talon with the other boy - Jason - was a poor decision, and the fact that the Grandmaster of the Court doesn't listen, at all, is something he's finding less and less tolerable."

I love this fic so much that it was my first attempt at fanfiction binding.

Oh, You Wondrous Creature by Ginia Fandom: Final Fantasy XV "Ignis Scientia had learned at a young age to perform his duties quietly and flawlessly. He learned not to draw undue attention to himself, as attention had often lead to pain and humiliation at the hands of those who considered themselves to be his betters.

He has no idea what to do when the attentions of one Gladiolus Amicitia are directed at him. He expects harshness and cruelty, but is met with something quite the opposite."

This is classic frenemies to lovers scenario. Ignis and Gladio start off disliking each other, but as Gladio uncovers more about the discrimination Ignis endures, he shapes up to be a friend, ally, and eventual lover for the steward.

Someone You Have To Let In by Arsenic Fandom: Batman (DCU) "Basically a horribly sideways BDSM-AU where Talia actually raises Jason from the dead to use him to get Damian to safety. If you're looking for super indulgent h/c, I got your back. If you're not, this is probably not the fic for you."

This was my introduction to the BDSM-AU, also called the Dom/sub AU, where people have biological imperatives towards either dominance or submission. The world building here is especially great, as there's parts that talk about how you raise kids in this kind of dynamic. Also I love me some Dick/Jason so there.

Holding Cell by red-catmander Fandom: Guild Wars 2 "Rytlock Brimstone is trapped in a human jail with a hairless mouse, a talking plant intent on infuriating him and a headache the size of the Black Citadel. Now he's stuck fighting in the arena, buying his freedom one slog at a time, and the only thing awaiting him when he gets out is scrapper duty.

He hates these people. He's sure of it. Especially Thackeray.

He really, really wants to hate these people."

Listen, this fic is hilarious. Like funnier than anything Snargle Goldclaw could write (if you know you know). It's Rytlock/Logan in like the crackiest way possible and while I unironically love this fic to pieces, it's main use in my life is to deal 1d6 of psychic damage to members of my GW2 guild.

Maan'alor - The Prime by papermachine Fandom: Star Wars (Prequel Trilogy Era) "Jango Vhett was Mand’alor only briefly to the Mandalorian Empire before he was captured by the Jetii and Republic forces on Galidraan.

Now an unwilling guest on Kamino, he is buir to Boba and he fears his protection can only stretch so far for the rest of the children made in his image. Jango doesn’t know if he can save all of the clones from the Kaminoans or the Republic, but he does know this: Verde sa akaan nau tracyn kad. Warriors are forged in the fires of war.

These children are made for war, and they have been fighting to stay alive since their creation.

He will do what he must to save them."

The series is ongoing, and this is technically the third installment in the series, but it's a great place to start reading. The series follows various characters in this AU where the Sith Empire, the Mandalorian Empire, and the Republic are all at war with each other. Meanwhile, an unwilling Jango is template to the clones, and he is NOT happy about is. But rebellions are built in secret, and Jango never was a very good spy.

hope has bloody knuckles by independent_variables Fandom: Star Wars (Clone Wars Era) "Davijaan discovers mountains, thinks about the war, and maybe falls in love."

I think some people are turned off from this fic because it's a relationship between Davijaan (Odd Ball) and an OC, but the main focus is on Davijaan and Cody's relationship with each other as clones, as having survived the Clone Wars with no Order 66. There's also some lovely word building around Pantora which is the real appeal of the fic, imo. And of course Loren herself is easy to like, with a strong personality and well developed character. You really want to root for her and Davi as the story goes on. Like, come on you two idiots! Figure it out! I do love this fic very much.

Oh my gosh picking only 10 fics was hard. Here's my bookmarks page if you want to see what else I'm reading.

#ifd2024 #feedback fest

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carelocaiiel · 4 months

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My Ships in One Piece (Mostly Talking About Vivi's Potential Mate Because Nobody Talking About it)

Okay so here's some (mostly strawhats) of my favorite ships in One Piece and i will share my thoughts regarding ships that i found hilarious or interesting. For those of you who ask whether number 1..2…3.. is a ranking..(??) No, I just sorted the strawhats members first.

Luffy x Vivi

Luffy and Vivi is perfect. They both can reaches mentally to one another and even punch like a bros in other to woke the other one. Vivi deeply trust Luffy and Luffy always think highly of her but he can be worried sometimes because he care deeply for her. I say they're perfect because Vivi can mentally reaches Luffy, and consider Luffy sometimes hard to be approach with mentally method, this is high praise for her. Luffy and Vivi shares a lot of similarities like

Both are :

Honest leader

Fearless leader

Loyal to their friends and family

Love Adventure

Have The Will of "D" in their names

Lost their family members to World Government

Targeted by Imu

I found out their compatibilities somewhat reminds me of these two MBTIs > Luffy as ESFP known for their lively and outgoing personalities while Vivi is ENFJ, the ones who make sure everyone feels included and cared for. The ESFP and ENFJ will likely care for each other quite deeply. And while im not really keen with zodiac, i really love how sometimes author use this as a hint or base of something in the story, like the magic in Black Clover characters are determined by their zodiac signs. I checked out Vivi is an Aquarius and Luffy is an Taurus. I found out Aquarius and Taurus in love can make for an interesting pairing, and it seems Aquarius is ruled by Uranus, the planet that governs innovation, technology, and surprising events.. Yes Uranus.. One of the ancient weapons.

I just love how Luffy is sad that Vivi choose not to join strawhat pirate and he respected her wish. Since they're both closer in age, i think it's cute to assumed maybe there's a time Oda thought that it would be cute to use Vivi as Luffy's first crush (but Luffy himself doesn't even recognize it) before Oda make Luffy aseksual. Even he is eager to save Vivi that time when he hear she is missing. I say this because there's just noway Luffy punch Vivi so normally if he's not irritated by her. Sometimes crushes really makes we more irritated than usual. And while yes he punches other women too, he's not someone who will punch woman that he consider HIS FRIEND.. but in that scene..we can see Luffy wanted Vivi to REALLY TRUST HIM and the other crews BECAUSE THEY'RE FRIENDS And thats why his punch to Vivi is more special .. Luffy wanted Vivi to acknowledge HIM.

And what i find interesting is Igaram's dream when Vivi said she is going to be a pirate queen 😂, reminds me that she is a D. too .. So their pairing can work out like Gol D. Roger and Portgas D. Rouge. Also, according to Volume 76 SBS, Vivi's image number is 5.5 and Luffy is Birthday is in May 5. Their blood type also the same.. type F.

2.Nami x Sanji

Nami and Sanji is actually my VERY FIRST SHIP. If Luffy and Vivi have respect then i say Nami and Sanji have natural chemistry that of a couple. While there's a lot of fans that favors Nami x Luffy, i just see NamixLuffy's chemistry is like a Sister to her lil bro which she REALLY TRUSTED. Luffy and Nami's like two of kindred spirits. I just love how Sanji calls Nami using -san instead of -chan like other girls. Sanji respect Nami so much and treat her on the top of women. I just thought there's a lot of potential in their dynamic because their dynamic getting more interesting over time.

3.Nami x Zoro

I always have this thought that MAYBE Zoro prefer girls who is sharp and know what they want. I just saw a lot of Nami Zoro scenes that make me think " They're so funny together" because they have mutual respect for each other's strengths while often buttheads. Sometimes they can be seen talking and discussing about trivial matters.

4.Zoro x Tashigi

Yes Zoro and Tashigi… and why not ? My only comment is that their dynamic is interesting and i would love to see more of Zoro's reluctant reaction to Tashigi 😂😭.

5.Zoro x Vivi

Zoro and Vivi.. Yes this one is interesting. Zoro ALWAYS respected Vivi. He knows Vivi's characteristics and he knows she is a smart and independent woman. While there's not a lot to say about this ship, i just like how Zoro always have this concerning kind of face when he see Vivi doing something wholeheartily. And not to forget "MR. BUSHIDO" , a nickname Vivi choose for Zoro. Aint that cute ? I love their friendship too .. Like i said before, maybe zoro prefer girls who is sharp and know what they want. I just think Zoro always see Vivi as that kind of girl.. and i think Zoro's respecting people who puts others first like Luffy.. his respect for Vivi is just the same because Vivi and Luffy are that kind of people who will protect others and not afraid to do that.

6.Usop x Kaya

I will just say THEY ARE CANON and you know it 😭.The way Kaya believe in Usop ? Its just so wholesome And i LOVE IT.

7.Robin x Law

THIS! ACTUALLY ONE OF MY BIG THREE IF I RANK IT. 😭😭 Great minds think alike right ??? Yes! And that is Robin and Law! I don't know what should i say about them … They're just HIT IT OFF! 😭A VERY MATURE AND TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP .. And that is big! Considering both of them growing up struggled to trust people. Zoro x Robin is nice.. But not as nice as this . A lot of people said Law will die before the "dawn" comes.. But.. Yeah.. 😭i just can't ignore this feeling to ship them.

8.Vivi x Lucci

LEMME JUST SAY THIS STRAIGHT! THIS IS THE MOST HILARIOUS SHIP THAT I MYSELF CANT EVEN BELIEVE I SHIPPED THIS 😭. She already roasted Lucci WAY back there when she was Miss Wednesday riding Karoo.

We know that Nefertari is the name of an Egyptians Queen. Whats more interesting is that Egyptians believed cats were magical creatures, capable of bringing good luck to the people who housed them, Egyptians saw cats as mutually beneficial companions. Who have The Cat as their Signature Devil Fruit transformation ? LUCCI! The ancient Egyptians believed the cat was a representation of Bast, Bast also represented fertility, and also protection. Who also said their job is to protect Vivi? LUCCI also 😭.

I just can't help find this pairing hilarious… sassy vivi vs stoic lucci? Yes thats it! 😭 Whats more hilarious? HIS FACE RESEMBLE KING COBRA, VIVI's father. If theyre related, i would say like father like son.

And this just keep getting hilarious…

There's this manga cover when Lucci feeding the pigeons and one of them wearing necklace which have letter "V" as if "Vivi" .In chapter 753, SBS revealed Vivi's representative animal is PIGEON 😭 well yeah she is a pacifist thats what to be expected .. But… who have piggeon as their friend? My Man Lucci. And not to mention Vivi's representative colour is white… 😭.

Vivi is associated with marriage too .. If you guys know, there's this manga cover when Vivi's scrubbing and the flag says "Bride Training". The curious thing is… THE CATS is the ones who helped her 😤! And the name of the one who request it! "Hattori" SUS MUCH..

Im starting to believe Oda is setting up Vivi to marry someone at the end of One Piece.

Not to forget her tank top in the color spread says TIGER 😭 yes.. big cat like leopard. Maybe Tiger in here is associating with Nefertari Lily so it can be "Tiger Lily". Tiger Lily flowers were often used in rituals as an offering to invoke healing, protection, and good fortune. Furthermore, Tiger Lily flowers were also associated with the goddesses of love and fertility. It was thought that the flowers could help individuals connect with their ancestors and receive guidance from the spiritual realm. In the famous play, Peter Pan, the character Tiger Lily was named after this flower, and it symbolized her beauty and bravery.

In Chinese folklore, the Tiger Lily flower was believed to represent the love between a man and woman, and it was often planted in wedding gardens. Whats wrong with Vivi and wedding? 😂…. Dreaming of a Tiger Lily flower can be a powerful symbol of transformation, growth, and rebirth. It may indicate that a person is going through a period of personal growth or is about to embark on a new chapter in life (AND YES SHE IS GOING TO HAVE HER OWN ADVENTURE) Alternatively, it may be a sign of good luck and prosperity.

In Native American folklore, the Tiger Lily was associated with the sun and was believed to bring warmth and light to the world.Maybe if Vivi's the true Uranus (like i said before in LuffyxVivi that her zodiac is associated with Uranus), then this sentence is make sense, since a lot of people saying Uranus is the sun.

A tweet by @chanchancilchan explaining that maybe Oda is inspired by Peterpan to move Vivi as character and associated her with Tigerlily from peterpan. Both Vivi and Tigerlily refuses any suitors even though they're old enough to be married, and Tigerlily is kidnapped by Captain Hook which suspiciously resembles Sir Crocodile. WHAT SURPRISE ME IS not these thing but A CHARACTER NAMED JOHN DARLING.

From what i know, John Darling is in love with Tigerlily. In the anime Peter pan no bouken, there was a whole episode dedicated to John and Lily's first date, with John trying to be a gentleman to her only to either misfortune to happen or to have Lily utterly tsuntsun at him 😭 i dunno but this reminds me so much of Vivi and Lucci (yes im delulu). What i am trying to say is… Look at this John boy, look at that hat! and his white clothes…. But .. This tiger-vivi story feat lucci should be stopped here.. Lemme go introduce my next fav ship.

9.Vivi x Sabo

If you read my babbling about Tigerlily-Vivi feat Lucci. I think you should know that this is the continuation 😭. The thing is… John Darling reminds me SO MUCH of young Sabo. What intrigues me the most is that John is a middle child and if we see Ace, Sabo and Luffy together.. It seems Sabo is younger than Ace since his birthday is in March, so he is the middle one. John is said to be very mature but loves his time being very adventurous and playful, Sabo much ? Speaking of his appearance .. In some Disney storybooks, John's nightshirt is blue instead of white .. Yes… He wears glasses(Goggles for Sabo) , stovepipe hat. Umbrella (Pipe for Sabo) and blue clothes.

Also.. Remember when Sabo said he must marry into a royal family?

I can't wait to see Sabo meet Vivi, because Vivi has met his other two brothers, she has even had a deep talk about Luffy with Ace and has collided with Luffy.

10.Sabo x Koala

Next is Sabo and Koala, actually i don't have anything to say about them.. They're partner and their synergy is good. So well whats more to say ? 😂

11.Smoker x Hina

And last one is Smoker and Hina?? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY ? 😭 THEY'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHERS AND THAT'S FINAL. I MEGAYACHT EM!

HAHA... AND THAT'S IT MY BABBLING about My Fav Ships in One Piece ... Mostly i babbling about Vivi but that's exactly my point since not a lot of people bringing that up. Actually i'm fine If these characters end up not having a romantic relationship with each others. But that's the point of shipping, isn't it? to have fun, and I already feel very happy with these ships, especially LuffyxVivi, RobinxLaw and VivixLucci (OMG FORGIVE ME ABOUT THIS ONE).

#one piece #monkey d. luffy #nefertari vivi #vinsmoke sanji #nami #roronoa zoro #nico robin #rob lucci #sabo #trafalgar law #tashigi #koala one piece #smoker one piece #hina one piece #usopp #nefertari cobra #kaya one piece #straw hat pirates #straw hat luffy

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moonjella · 2 years

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WHAT COMES AFTER — LEE JENO

pairing || boyfriend!jeno x fem!reader

synopsis || the death of your boyfriend was something no one expected. the most loved boy in town was gone in an instant and the world for you had ended. depressed and alone, you give it one last try. you find the ouija board stashed away in your garage and call out his name. but he doesn't reply and you decide it's time to finally move on. but then you receive a strange phone call from an unknown id, and on the other end is your dead boyfriend.

content || female reader, major angst, dealing with the death of a loved one, mentions of death, grieving, speaking to the dead, counselling, party and alcohol consumption, a guy tries to make a move on the reader, mild violence.

word count || 8.6k

author's note || for @/underworldnet’s halloween event : day seven — afterlife.

Your world ended the day Jeno died.

He was the sweetest boy in town. Everyone loved him since he was young. He was kind and affectionate, offering his assistance to anyone who needed it.

You often joked that there wasn’t a single person in the small town that didn’t know him because he helped so many.

Be it mowing lawns, carrying shopping, or in your case, saving you from bullies.

You weren’t even five when it happened, but you’ll ever forget how strong and brave he was when he shielded you from being hurt.

He stayed close to you since that day, easily becoming your best friend. And you lived close to each other. You played with him a lot, spent long summers together as well as cosy winters.

You walked to school together every day, ate lunch together, paired up in classes.

In any situation, you were always with him and when you weren’t, it wouldn’t be long until he found you.

It was always like that.

But there came a certain age when it became awkward for a boy and girl to be so close.

Your parents told you it was fine to be friends with him, but to be extra careful since you were now a young woman.

Jeno received the same lecture from his own parents because there was a period of total awkwardness for a while. But it soon became something you both would laugh about.

Puberty was an odd phase for everyone and when you both grew used to your new bodies and minds, you became close in a completely new way.

And then came all the questions.

Are you guys dating?

You know guys and girls can’t be just friends, right?

How long have you been together?

Almost everyone you knew had assumed you were dating; you guys were inseparable, after all.

And you, being a young–minded and curious teen girl, asked him:

“Jeno, are we dating?”

You’d always remember the way he choked with wide eyes until the milk he was drinking sprayed out from his mouth.

“I mean, do you want to date me?” he replied.

You shrugged. “I’ve never dated before, but if I did, I’d probably choose you.”

He asked to be your boyfriend right then and there. You said yes.

Back then, you never understood the true intensity of being boyfriend and girlfriend but over the years you gradually realised how serious you and Jeno were.

You always had been the endgame.

He meant everything to you.

He was your first in every aspect and you to him.

It was like you were always meant to be together like destined stars.

He was always there.

Until he wasn’t.

The town sheriff came to tell you the news personally since his parents were too distraught to visit you themselves.

A car accident had taken Jeno’s life and just like that, he was gone.

You felt numb at first.

Like none of it was real; like it was just a bad dream.

You had that blinding buzzing feeling in your body for days as if you weren’t existing in the same realm anymore.

Everything lost its meaning.

You became furious with the world, yet at the same time, you felt nothing towards it.

Nothing but pain and longing and anger.

How could life be so cruel to you? How could life be so cruel to Jeno?

His death shook the entire town to the very core.

You waited and you waited for Jeno to call, to show up at your house and tell you none of this was real but he didn’t.

And then the numbness faded, replaced by pain.

Pain you’re still feeling to this day.

Months have passed and it still hurts as bad as it did back then.

It hurts to eat, to sleep, to breathe.

You can’t do anything without being reminded of his loss and how you can’t live a happy life without him.

He was always by your side.

And now you’re all alone.

Your parents try their hardest, urging you to go to school again. You haven’t attended for months and they tell you again and again that it would help you get out of your hole.

Every day you say “I’ll go tomorrow” but tomorrow never comes. All the days blend into one dreary nightmare without the love of your life right next to you.

Friends visited you, as did teachers.

Everyone felt for you but they eventually moved on without you.

You wonder if you’ll ever catch back up to them.

But you don’t think it’s likely since Jeno was your one in a million.

What life is worth living without the person you love the most?

You remind yourself every now and then that Jeno would never want this for you. He’d want you to carry on and do your best but whenever you try, it all comes crashing on you again and you can’t stop the tears.

The pulsating takes over, you lose control of your body, unable to breathe.

Everything around you turns grey and bland and your grasp on whatever reason you have left to keep going disappears into thin air.

The days slip through your fingers like water, like the tears that have begun leaking from your eyes.

You miss him so much.

***

Today is as dreary as ever.

But there’s one positive you can find, a silver lining, if you could call it that.

You haven’t cried today.

It’s Sunday. The weather is grim and wet but your eyes aren’t pouring like the sky.

Your parents are out shopping and you’re curled up at home in a blanket.

They left you while you were watching an old movie, one of Jeno’s favourite. While they did pressure you to join them on their outing, you refused with your eyes glued to the screen, watching the movements go by mindlessly.

It’s a trashy horror; you’ve watched it a million times. You probably wouldn’t have watched it at all if it weren’t for Jeno.

The specialness it held in your heart was now a patch of soreness.

Bitterness fills your body as you watch the stupid teenagers pull out an Ouija board.

You scoff inwardly as you’re reminded of all the times you told Jeno about the Ouija board hidden somewhere in your garage.

You always wanted to try it but didn’t for his sake. He was too terrified it would be real. Despite growing into a manly type of guy, he was a softie at heart. He put on a brave face even when he was more afraid than you.

For a split second, you think about it and an old, familiar feeling takes over your mind.

Curiosity.

Jeno isn’t here to stop you anymore so maybe you could finally try it.

Maybe you could talk to him.

It’s a ridiculous notion but you find yourself on autopilot, scrambling out of the blankets and into the chilly garage. You’re digging through shelves and old boxes and by the time your nose is filled with dust, you pull out the box.

It’s heavy from the wooden palette but you brush it off and scurry to your room.

You have no idea how this works, or if it works at all.

But just in case, you set some rules for yourself — don’t use it for too long and throw it away when you’re done.

You don’t want Jeno to be turning in his grave seeing you play around with the same thing he warned you about.

Setting it on the floor, you place the planchette in the middle and cross your legs.

This is it, you think. If it works, I can say goodbye. If it doesn’t…, I’ll move on. I promise.

You’re not sure who you’re making the promise to. Your parents, Jeno, yourself.

Either way, your embarrassingly sad attempt to contact Jeno feels like the only way to drag yourself out of this slump. Because no matter what answer you get, you can finally have some closure.

You place your fingers on the planchette.

“Jeno,” you ask, voice quiet and trembling. “Are you here?”

Nothing.

“Jeno,” you say, a little louder. “It’s me, YN. Can you hear me?”

Complete silence.

“I miss you so much, Jeno,” ah, the tears have come at last. “I’m right here, baby. Please talk to me.”

A void. Just like the hole he left in your life when he died.

You try a few more times more, calling his name louder and louder, allowing all of your grief and desperation to leave your body as you cry for him.

All the while gaining nothing in return.

You swallow grimly and finish your session like they did in the movie — a whispered goodbye and wiping your tears as you shove the board away.

It hurts more now than ever before, but there’s some sort of relief buried under it all.

Jeno’s gone. He’s not coming back.

He’s living peacefully now.

Maybe you can move on, too.

You take those few moments to ponder and let out your remaining emotions. Seconds turn to minutes and minutes to hours and you’re finally broken out of your trance when you hear your parents’ car pulling into the drive.

You sit up, limbs shaking and your eyes are sore. Surely, your parents would know you’ve been crying but you make it downstairs in one piece while they’re hurrying inside from the rain with their shopping.

“Hey, sweetie,” your mom greets you at the bottom of the stairs. If she notices your red eyes, she doesn’t mention it. “How was the movie?”

“Good,” your voice cracks, coming out as a whisper.

Your dad comes in and pats your head before planting a kiss on it. “Did you eat?”

You shake your head.

“Good, because we brought takeout.”

You manage to stifle some food down. It doesn’t taste like flavourless mush anymore. Slowly, your ability to taste food returned but there was always a sick feeling in your stomach. It’s not so bad right now, thankfully.

It’s been a while since you’ve wanted to eat properly.

Your parents watch carefully as you eat. It’s the most you’ve eaten in a long time.

And when dinner ends, you gather the motivation to help them clean up.

They share glances between themselves, but they’re happy you’re feeling well enough to do chores again.

“Mom, dad…” you say, and their eyes fly to you immediately. “I want to go to school tomorrow.”

They’re both stunned and your mother steps forward immediately, stroking your shoulders.

“That’s great, baby but… are you sure?”

You nod fervently. “I want to go.”

They share one last look before agreeing with you.

“Okay, baby. How about you go take a shower and I’ll get your bag and clothes ready? Sound good?”

You nod.

“I’ll drive you in the morning.” Your father adds.

You smile and it feels good.

It’s not a smile because you’re happy. But a smile because you can finally feel things changing.

You can feel the chains of grief loosening around you and washing down the drain as you shower. The smell of your floral shampoo isn’t disgusting anymore, the hot water against your skin doesn’t burn you.

And when you look in the mirror, you feel a little less hopeless under your dark, rainy cloud.

You’re dressed and have dried your hair quickly, eager to get into bed after another draining day.

But tomorrow will be better, you hope.

Bzz.

Your phone vibrates in your hand.

The screen reads unknown caller.

You don’t usually answer unknown calls but something tugs at your thumb and it swipes the green button.

“Hello?” you ask.

It’s silent for a few moments and you’re about to hang up but a loud pant hits your ear. You wince at the sound.

Whoever is on the other end is breathing heavily. You’re about to hang up but then you hear it.

His voice.

“…YN…”

You heart sinks faster than your knees as you collapse. Your phone slips and clatters on the ground but your fingers scramble from it immediately.

You’re gasping, pressing buttons and swiping again and again but the call has disappeared. The call log is empty; there’s no trace of him at all.

But it was him!

It was Jeno.

You heard him clear as day. He said your name.

Or…maybe you heard a hallucination?

There’s no way it could have been him, right?

He’d dead.

You’re broken from your frenzied state when your mom enters the room.

“Honey, I heard something. Is everything okay?”

“Y–Yeah…” you pick yourself up as she enters. “I just dropped my phone.”

“Okay, baby. Be careful with it,” her warm arms wrap around your shoulders as she guides you to your bed. You slip under the covers and she places your phone on your bedside table. “Get some sleep, okay? It’s a big day tomorrow.”

You nod and swallow the fear bubbling at the back of your throat.

The only thing on your mind is Jeno and his voice and his breathing and how on earth he was on the other end of your phone but you manage to convince your mother that you’re okay and she tucks you under the blankets, switching off the lamp before leaving you in a dark and empty room.

Just when you thought you could start building it up once more, your world comes crashing down all over again.

***

“Have a good day at school, sweetie.” Your father kisses your forehead before you leave the car.

He drives away with a worried look on his face and despite you telling him numerous times on the way here, you’re fine.

Or so, you think you’re fine.

After last night, you’re not so sure you can hold it all in through the day.

Upon waking up, you realised the phone call must have been a dream, or even a hallucination because you longed for Jeno so much.

You were so close to telling your parents about it but you knew they’d have thought you finally lost your mind and that was the last thing you wanted.

You promised them last night that things would change.

Holding onto something bizarre like the phone call would only hold you back.

So, you hold tightly onto the straps of your bag and walk into school. A few looks are spared at you here and there — they don’t bother you too much but when you arrive in your class, the entire class falls silent.

It’s the teacher who first approaches you. You head up to their desk to discuss how far behind you are before the bell rings and you make your way to your seat.

You try so hard not to look at the empty seat beside it, Jeno’s seat.

It’s fine, you say to yourself. This is all fine.

Perhaps the self–convincing worked wonders because you make it through the morning without breaking down due to Jeno’s empty presence next to you. Sure, it was hard to focus and you realised how stressful it would be to catch up on all of your classes but you made it through.

Only minor conversations are exchanged with your friends; none of them dare to mention Jeno. They tell you to ask them if you ever need help or to hang out with them if you’re ever lonely but they don’t mention Jeno. And that makes you a million times more lonely.

It’s as if everyone has forgotten about him already, and even if they do remember him, they don’t dare talk about him, like he’s some curse.

You figure eating some lunch will take the bitter taste away from your mouth and you sit down with a small circle of people. You pull out the lunch your mother packed for you and your heart warms at the small I love you post–it note she tucked between your sandwich.

A smile attempts to creep onto your face.

It’s not so bad. It’s all fine.

You keep telling yourself that yet, fine doesn’t sound like a word that exists anymore when your eyes lay upon the red apple your mother packed in your lunch.

It’s just an apple but it feels like the end of the world.

Because it’s not your apple.

It’s Jeno’s.

You hate apples.

And Jeno loved them.

Your throat swells and your breath becomes stuck as if the apple itself had lodged its way in.

“YN, are you okay?”

You look up and everyone is staring at you.

The pity on their faces says everything. One look at the apple and one look at your glossy eyes are enough to show them that everything is not fine. Everything is, in fact, awful.

“I… I need to go to the bathroom.”

You dart up, almost tripping over your seat while you rush to the nearest toilets. A few people are there but the make a swift exit upon seeing your tears. You don’t hear if they ask if you’re okay, nor do you hear if they say anything else.

You slam the door to the cubicle shut and wait for silence outside before you begin sobbing.

The pain in your chest tears you open and your whole body wracks with grief.

It hurts so bad.

Why won’t it go away?

Why did a stupid apple have to make you feel this way?

Nothing in this world is free from the influence Jeno had on you. Nothing will ever be the same without him.

“Jeno,” you sniffle. “Jeno…”

You’re catching your breaths in hiccups when you feel a vibration in your pocket. Assuming it’s one of your friends to check on you, you pull your phone only to see another unknown caller.

Time freezes for a second.

But you break it just in time to answer the call.

“Jeno…”

“…”

“Jeno… is it really you?”

“…YN?”

“Oh my god,” you gasp, covering your mouth. “Jeno!”

“YN…”

“W–Where are you? Jeno, I miss you so much!”

“I’m… somewhere.”

For a moment, you cut off all your surroundings to focus only on his voice. It’s deep, plagued by fatigue with gentle trembles. But you only hear his voice. Nothing else.

No background chatter, no passing vehicles.

Absolutely nothing.

“Jeno, are you… alive?”

You don’t dare to even breathe whilst waiting for his answer. These last few months are all a joke, his death wasn’t real and he’s really alive somewhere.

He has to be.

Or else why would he be on the phone with you right now?

“I… I died, didn’t I?”

A sob bursts from you and rivers pour from your eyes.

What the hell is happening?

“You can’t be dead if you’re talking to me. You’re alive, aren’t you?”

“No, I… I remember the accident.”

“Wha—, then how are you talking to me?”

“I don’t know, I just heard you calling me. So, I answered.”

“No, you called me. I answered you.”

“YN, please…”

“Please what, Jeno? What the hell is going on? Where are you?”

“I don’t know, it’s all…empty.”

This can’t be real. How can he be talking to you if he’s dead?

“What do you see?”

“Nothing. Everything is nothing. I can’t see anything.”

“Can you feel anything?”

“No…”

“Can you move?”

“My body… it’s like it’s not here with me. It’s just… me.”

“What about noise? Can you hear anything?”

“I hear your voice.”

You pant heavily. You can’t comprehend this. In no way is it possible to speak to someone who died months ago.

“YN?”

His voice is softer, like a child. You despise how vulnerable he sounds. You want nothing more than to find him and keep him safe with you forever.

“Yes?”

“…I’m scared.”

You could have bled yourself out with tears by now as the emotions erupt from you. If this is real or not, you don’t care.

You just want Jeno.

“I’m here, okay? Don’t be scared, Jeno. I’m right here.”

His breathing picks up on the other end and you can’t take it. if he really is dead, if this is his ghost speaking to you, you can’t imagine how terrified he must be.

“I’m right here, Jeno. Don’t hang up.”

You wipe your tears and clean your snotty nose, promising Jeno you aren’t going anywhere but the door to the toilets open and in flows the chatter of some other students.

Completely hushed, you look at the screen of your phone to make sure the call is still ongoing while you wait for them to leave but instead, a blank screen shows up.

You prod your phone, dissecting your call app to find Jeno but there is no longer an ongoing call. It shows up empty in the call log just like it did last night.

Shaking your head, you squeeze your eyes to clear your vision and frustration fills every inch of your body.

Why is this happening? Why did he disappear again?

You can’t be dreaming this; his voice… it was real, it felt so real.

But he was gone all over again.

***

Jeno.

Every second of every day, it’s Jeno.

He consumes your body, your mind and your soul despite not being here to do it.

You parents have noticed your gloominess. They had hoped it would finally get better for you but it’s still the same. The only difference now is that you’re going to school.

Two weeks have passed since the phone call in the school toilets. And two weeks have passed since you last heard from Jeno; if it was really him.

Some days, you’re convinced it was all down to your mind playing tricks on you. And if so, you despise your mind for being so cruel.

The other days, you believe he really was speaking to you. It’s no doubt the Ouija board was behind his phone calls. It makes sense.

Today is one of the former days, however. Your morning was so and so — breakfast with your parents and then school. The afternoon was tiring and the evening is somewhat relaxing.

And lunch time has become your least favourite time of the day.

The daunting sight of the apples your mom packs in your lunch every day lingers even after the sky darkens.

It would be so much easier if you just told your mom that you don’t like apples.

But that would mean you and Jeno would no longer be the only ones who knew your little secret. Ignorance is bliss, you think.

If there’s one thing he took to his grave, you know it was this.

***

Bzz.

Your eyes fly to your phone immediately.

You’ve been jolty for days so your rapid movements don’t alert your parents who are used to it by now, and your heart swells when you see another unknown caller ringing you.

Just when you were thinking of him during the movie you were watching with your parents, he called again.

Or maybe he didn’t. It could just be a random call.

You close the bedroom door behind you and settle on the edge of your bed.

Taking a deep breath, you don’t wait any longer and answer the call.

“Jeno?”

“YN.”

You gasp. “Hi…”

“Hey…”

It’s silent for a few moments, nothing but a sea of emptiness.

“It’s so good to hear your voice, baby,” he says.

“Oh, Jeno,” you sob. “It’s so good to hear you. I miss you so much!”

“Don’t cry, baby,” he shushes you. “It’s okay. You don’t need to cry.”

He spends the next few minutes trying to settle your tears, all the while trying to hide his own shaky voice.

“There you go,” he praises you. “All better now.”

You hum with a nod, not that he can see you but you’re sure he can feel it.

“Good girl.”

Oh, God. You could melt in the ground from hearing his voice again.

“Now,” he starts. “you wanna explain to me what the hell is going on?”

You bite back sobs while trying to explain the last few months to him. About the accident, about his death, about the Ouija board. It terrifies you. How exactly is a dead person supposed to take the news that they’re dead?

But Jeno takes it all with a grain of salt.

In a way, he explains, he knew it all along.

“So, let me get this straight. I died so you played with the Ouija board and now you can talk to me.”

You hum. “That’s right.”

“Wow,” he huffs. “I didn’t think you’d actually have the balls to do it.”

“Hey, the only reason I never did it sooner was because you were too scared!”

“I wasn’t scared!”

“Yes, you were!” you exclaim, smiling as if you’re speaking to him right next to you. “You’re such a scaredy–cat.”

He grumbles. Because he knows you’re right.

“But it’s okay because you’re my scaredy–cat.”

It feels odd talking to him like normal, like he’s not dead. Like all those late night calls you spent together before the world you knew was snatched from you.

“I hope you didn’t say that at my funeral.” He mocks and you freeze up. It’s admirable that he can talk lightly about all of this, to pretend that speaking to you right now is normal but his words lock you up. “YN, you still there?”

“Yeah. I’m here.”

“Oh, I thought you’d gone again.”

A shudder slivers its way up your spine. He must be just as scared to hear your voice disappear as you were to his.

“I’m sorry. I won’t mention it again if it upsets you.”

“Hm, it’s okay. We can talk about it if you want,” you tell him. “But I don’t have much to say about it.”

“Why not?”

“Well…” you bite your lip. “I didn’t go to your funeral.”

You hear him inhale deeply, stealing the air right from you.

“I… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he says, his voice low and gentle. “It must have been so hard for you. Don’t blame yourself.”

Easier said than done.

You only have yourself to blame.

Everyone in the town attended Jeno’s funeral. Everyone but the girl he loved so much.

Tears build in your eyes again and as if he could see them, he says “let’s not talk about this, okay? It’s getting late.”

You sniffle, wiping away the wetness.

“Do you need to go to bed?”

“Yeah…” you whisper. “I have school tomorrow.”

“Okay, why don’t you get into bed, hm?”

You stretch your limbs while keeping the phone attached to your ear as you settle under you covers.

“Comfy?”

“Yes.”

A fatigued smile lingers on your face. Just like all the times he slept over, it feels like he’s right here with you.

“Jeno?”

“What is it, baby?”

“Can you stay here with me?”

“I’m right here, YN. Not going anywhere.”

“Will you still be here when I wake up?”

“That’s not up to me.” He says, somewhat bitterly.

“Then… can you at least stay until I fall asleep?”

“Okay,” he whispers. “Until you fall asleep.”

***

A sleepy smile finds its way onto your face. You’re freshly washed and tucked under the covers with your phone pressed to your ear again.

Some time has passed and you’ve been talking to Jeno at any chance you can get. The calls only happen a few times a week, but they have become your number one source of sustenance. Especially when he calls before you go to bed.

It feels so good to hear his voice again.

“Did you have a nice shower?”

“Mmh,” you hum. “It was nice.”

“I bet,” Jeno chuckles. “You should get some sleep. It’s been a long day.”

“It wasn’t too bad,” you tell him. “I went to see the cats today.”

“You did?” he asks with a hint of excitement. “How are they?”

“They’re good.”

“And… my mom? My sister.”

“They’re good, too.”

“Just good?”

You swallow nervously. It’s not the first time he’s asked about them and it’s not the first time you told him plainly that they are good. You figured he’d start pressing for more sooner or later.

“Yeah, I mean, they’re as good as they can be.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, we don’t talk much anymore. I only speak to them when I go to see the cats but I think they’re doing okay. They don’t really mention anything, they just get on with life.”

“Hm,” Jeno murmurs. “Do they ever… talk about me?”

“I’m sure they do. They just don’t do it when I’m around.”

“Oh…”

“They’re doing well, though. I promise. I heard your sister joined a sports team. And your mom’s still going to work.”

“Good, that’s what I want,” you feel a pin stabbing your heart. “I don’t want to hold them back. I don’t want to hold anyone back, not even you.”

“I… I know,” you mutter. You don’t know if it’s Jeno holding you back, or your refusal to let Jeno go, but you are miles behind everyone else.

“I’m sorry, I ruined the mood.”

“No, you didn’t,” you say while trying to conceal the swelling of your throat. The only good thing about him not being here is him not being able to see you tear up so easily.

“Let’s change the topic,” he says. “How are classes?”

“They’re fine. School is still a pain in the ass, though.”

“I trust you on that one,” he chuckles. “I’m glad I don’t need to go anymore.”

“I’m glad you’re happy leaving me to suffer alone in Mr. Kim’s algebra.”

“Oh, is someone being sarcastic now?”

“Maybe,” you grin. “Maybe not.”

“As secretive as ever.”

“Don’t you know it,” you giggle. “And speaking of secrets, my mom’s still packing apples in my lunch.”

“Ah, I miss your apples.”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you, too, baby.”

You hum sweetly, fatigue slowly taking over your body once more. He puts you to sleep soundly every night.

“You should go to bed, now.” He says.

“I don’t want to. I wanna keep talk to you.”

“Well, can’t argue with that,” he sniggers. “What else do you want to talk about?”

“They’re showing your favourite movie at the cinema,” you tell him. “You know, that super cheesy horror you made me watch a million times.”

“Aww, no way! I’d drag you to go see it again if I was there.”

“I’d rather you not,” you giggle. “I’ve seen it way too many times.”

“And each time is a blessing.”

“A blessing? Absolutely not, Jeno. The movie is awful.”

“How dare you? That movie is one of the best ever made.”

“Don’t make me laugh, Jeno or I’ll never fall asleep at this rate —”

“Hey, YN. It’s late, are you in bed?” your mom enters your room. “Oh, I’m sorry, sweetie. Didn’t know you were on the phone.”

Your eyes widen, hand on your heart to relieve the shock. But that only makes you seem suspicious to your mother.

“Who are you on the phone with?” she whispers.

“No one.”

You bite your lip and wait for her to leave so you can continue talking to Jeno, but she doesn’t.

“Who is it?”

“No one, mom.”

“It’s certainly someone, YN. Is it one of your friends?”

“It’s none of your business, mom.”

You regret the attitude in your tone but you need her to leave or your connection with Jeno will disappear again.

“Are you seeing someone new?”

“Mom, what?!” you shout. “No! I’m not seeing anyone!”

“Darling, getting angry is only making me more worried. Who’s on the phone?”

“It’s no one.”

“You promised to talk to me, okay? You can tell me anything.”

Your teeth gnaw at the inside of your lip. Despite you flipping out on numerous occasions and closing yourself off from your parents, they’ve been nothing but supportive. It wouldn’t hurt to tell her, right?

“I… I was talking to Jeno.”

You don’t understand what emotions cross her eyes in that moment but you’re sure they aren’t good.

“What do you mean, sweetie? Talking to Jeno?”

“Yeah, I… I played with the Ouija board a few weeks ago and we’ve been talking since. Look.”

You hold your phone up to her, waiting for her reaction. But she doesn’t give you one.

When you flip the phone to face you, your heart sinks into the depths of your stomach.

“No! No, no, no!”

You gasp, eyes filling as you scramble with your phone.

Seconds.

That’s all it takes for him to be snatched away from you. Your mother shushes you, trying to ease your tantrum.

“It’s fine, baby. It’s okay—”

“No, it’s not okay! Nothing is okay anymore!”

You’re frantically swiping your phone, prodding it so hard with your finger that it hurts. The sight of you obsessing over your phone like you’re about to die without it terrifies your mother.

“YN, please calm down.”

“I am calm,” you seethe.

“Take a deep breath, okay? You don’t need to behave like this.”

She wraps her arms around you as an attempt to console you but you shove her away. She made Jeno disappear and you look like nothing but a crazy fool talking to a ghost.

But you don’t care.

You only want to hear his voice again but when your phone refuses to connect you with him, you throw it to the ground, scaring your mother.

She’s silent for a few moments, trying to comprehend what the hell is going on with you.

“Baby… do you need to see a doctor?”

“No.” you grumble. Your head is in your hands, fingers nipping at your scalp. You didn’t get to say goodbye to him and who knows, tonight could well be the last time you hear from him. “I want to see Jeno.”

“But you can’t see him.”

“I was talking to him,” you yell, standing on your feet to pick up your phone only to throw it away again when you see he hasn’t called you back. “I was just talking to him, mom! You made him go away!”

Pacing around the room frantically, you unsure of what has come over you but your fists fly to your hair. You mom begs you to stop but you keep screaming the same words again.

He was here.

He was talking to me.

It’s your fault he’s gone.

“YN, stop this nonsense! Jeno is dead!”

You freeze, looking her in the eyes with nothing but anger.

“Get out.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Get out! Get out of my room! Go!”

“YN!” she yells and your entire body tenses; she’s never raised her voice like this before, especially not at you. “Just who do you think you’re talking to?”

You purse your lips, fighting back your tears though the effort was all for nothing as they slip down your cheeks.

“What has gotten into you?” she squeals. “How long do we have to wait for you to be normal again? We’re trying so hard to be here for you but you keep pushing us away! And now… now you’re talking to Jeno?”

“I was talking to him.” You sob, begging her to believe you but it’s a lost cause. No one will ever believe you.

She pulls you down to sit on the edge of your bed with her and this time, you don’t push her away.

“Talk to me, sweetie. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I promise, I’m not lying. I really was talking to him.”

“Okay,” she mutters. “Okay.”

As much as she says it, you know she doesn’t understand your words, but she goes along with it.

“What else, hm? Whatever you need to get off your chest, just tell me.”

You take the tissue she hands you and wipe your sopping face with it.

“I hate apples.”

“What?”

“I hate apples. I hate them so much!”

“I thought you love apples.” She squanders.

“No, I hate them.”

“But you always ate them when I packed them in your lunch.”

“Jeno always ate them for me. He always traded with me,” you sob. “He always ate my apples for me.”

“Oh, baby,” she kisses your temple. “I’m so sorry.”

It’s not her fault. In fact, it’s yours for never telling her but it feels like an ocean has been lifted from your shoulders after finally telling her.

“I won’t pack you apples anymore, okay?”

You nod.

“Now, what else?”

You shrug. You don’t have many words left to say but the tears keep coming.

“Would it help if you went to see him?”

“What?” your heart skips a beat. “See him?”

“You… you haven’t visited his grave yet. Maybe if you went — ”

“No!”

“YN…”

“No,” you repeat. “I don’t want to go.”

“Please sweetie, if you keep pushing him away, you’ll never get over this.”

“Pushing him away?” you cry. “I’m not pushing him away. I’m holding onto him. I’m the only one who’s still holding on to him.”

“That’s a lie and you know it. You’re not the only one who’s hurting. Think about his parents, his sister. Hell, even I’m still hurting but we just have to move on.”

“Yeah, move on and forget about him,” you scoff.

“No one is forgetting him, sweetie,” she strokes your hair. “He’s still here in our hearts and our memories but we can’t let his death make us lose our minds like this.”

“I’m not losing my mind, mom. I really was talking to him.”

You could tell her a million times and you know she still wouldn’t believe you.

Maybe you are losing your mind.

She picks up your phone from the ground; it’s a miracle it’s still alive.

“I’m keeping this for now.”

“But, mom — ”

“No buts.”

“What if he calls me again?”

“Then I’ll answer him.”

You want to argue more, you want to snatch the phone right out of her hand but you’re too exhausted. Everything is going to go downhill from here and right now, sleeping seems like the best way to escape all of the pain.

***

“She’s getting better,” the school counsellor tells your parents. They let out a sigh of relief.

The three of them speak like you’re not sitting right there with them.

“Her grades are improving and her teachers are saying her attitude in class is better. I also heard you joined a few clubs, is that right?”

They all turn to you and you nod slowly.

“That’s great,” you mom exclaims and grips your hand.

Yeah, it’s great. It’s all great.

You’re just like everyone else now.

You’re moving on.

Seeing a counsellor was just the beginning of it all. You’ve been seeing them for a month or so, several times a week. Who knew grievance counselling would work so fast?

Well, who knew you were faking it the whole time?

You hated it at first, putting up a front with the counsellor but you figured things would move faster if you just showed everyone what they wanted to see.

Your phone has since been confiscated so you spent most of your time these past weeks studying and getting your grades higher. You spent some time socialising with close friends and you even took part in extra–curricular to really put the cherry on the top.

Fake it till you make it, or so they say.

“I think it may be a good idea to give her the phone back,” the counsellor says, catching your wandering mind. “Of course, it is still up to you as her parents but it would help her feel normal again.”

“What do you say, YN?”

You shrug. “Whatever.”

Of course, you want your phone back. You want every chance to speak to Jeno again but an entire month has passed since you last spoke and frankly, you’re scared to hear his voice again.

Or worse, you’re scared you’ll never hear it again.

After a few minutes, you leave the office with your parents. The rest of the day goes on as normal and you act as if everything is fine.

And when you get home, you eat dinner quietly, silently gnawing at the skin of your lips until your parents finally return your phone.

“I want it in our room at bedtime,” they say. “You can have it back in the morning.”

You nod and take it from them solemnly.

At this point, you’re not confident that life feels immediately better having your phone again but you want to at least try one more time.

You race up to your room and close the door behind you. Taking a deep breath, you sit on the edge of your mattress and glare at the phone in your hand.

“Jeno,” you whisper. “Can you hear me?”

Nothing happens.

“You can call me again now. Please…”

Hours pass by in a moment while you wait for his response, calling his name again and again but he doesn’t return your call.

That last time was the last time.

He never rang your phone again since — although your parents had possession of it, they answered every call and none of them were from Jeno.

Everyone had convinced you it was all hallucinations. You were grieving so bad that your mind conjured up his voice to act like he was still here.

And you’re beginning to convince yourself of that too.

It’s not so bad to admit it.

Life isn’t so bad without him. It still hurts but you’re being carried along with everyone else instead of constantly wallowing in your sea of self–pity.

Besides, life is a distraction.

The more you focus on mundane things, the less you think about Jeno and as guilty as it feels, it’s the only way to mask the painful longing for him.

You exhale slowly and deeply.

You’ve tried so many times to let him go.

Maybe this will be the last.

***

Letting go of Jeno is great.

Perfect, in fact.

Or so everybody tells you.

You’re surrounded by sweaty bodies that are completely out of their minds.

Despite their cheers and loud singing, you feel nothing but frustration.

You were surprised when your parents allowed you to go to a party. The only reason you asked them was to show them how well you’re getting on with life and you were fully ready for them to shut down your request.

But instead, they pushed you to go.

“It’s fantastic,” they gleamed. “You’re doing so much better without him.”

Just like everyone else says.

“It’s so good to see you here. Letting go of Jeno is the best thing you can do. Let’s go get a drink.”

Well, it’s not that you’d fully let go of him yet. That is still to come.

But you act like it. You act like everything is fine and although it’s not bearable, putting on a front numbs the pain.

A different type of pain distracts you in this moment, though.

The loud music causes throbbing in your head and you regret coming instantly. Jeno always said parties are a sham and he was never wrong. Why else would the two of you always ditch weekend raves to do something else?

“Lighten up, buttercup!” one of your friends says to you. She’s completely wasted but she’s having a good time.

You take a cup from her make your way up the stairs. It’s a little bit quieter and much less busy. You collapse on the floor outside of a room.

With your knees pulled up to your chest, you watch as others flutter around you.

You wonder if getting drunk would help. They all seem to be having a good time and you know alcohol is a way to escape reality.

The smell of alcohol isn’t appealing but it’s masked with the sweet smell of coke. As is the taste when you swallow it. You don’t know how much is in there but you down the full cup.

So much for promising your parents you wouldn’t drink.

You rest your head against the wall, feeling the vibrations shatter through your mind and in no time, you feel the drink take over.

Your body is abuzz, the vibrations don’t stop and you feel your conscious swaying back and forth with your body. Giggling, you make it to your feet and stumble around, holding onto the wall for much needed balance.

“Who knew you were such a lightweight?” someone chuckles and you spin around.

“Jeno?”

“Nope,” the guy sips from his cup. “He’s dead, remember?”

“Oh, yeah,” you mumble. “Where’s the bathroom?”

He nods his head in the opposite direction.

You mutter a thanks and start stumbling towards the bathroom but you feel a presence behind you. The guy is following you but your mind is slow to react. Upon getting to the bathroom, he enters with you, shutting the door behind you both.

“What are you —”

There’s a grin on his face and you feel your skin pricking when he touches your sides.

“Stop it!” you shout and flail your arms to push him off. “Stop!”

You kick him in his shin and he keels over.

“Ow!”

Serves him right. You kick him again but this time he backs up. Both of your bodies stumble drunkenly and when he dives for you, you brace yourself for the impact.

But it doesn’t come.

He stops in his tracks when ringing fills the air of the small restroom.

You feel it in your pocket, the vibrations and you pull out your phone.

You’re about to heave at the sight of it.

Unknown Caller.

The guy tries to snatch your phone but you kick him away, almost sobered up just from seeing the screen of your phone.

You duck under his arm and run out of the bathroom, down the stairs and out into the night.

Terrified, you look at your phone again.

He’s still calling.

You place and hand to your chest to calm your beating heart and answer the call.

“YN!”

“Jeno!”

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I… I….” you can’t finish your words.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” you tell him, repeating it a second time for yourself. “I’m okay.”

“What happened? Why are you out of breath?”

“I was running.”

“Running from what?”

“Just… a guy… at a party.”

“What did he do?!”

“Nothing! He just tried making a move on me but I stopped him.”

Jeno sighs in relief.

“God, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Jeno. Are you?”

You collapse onto the grass and lay down, staring at the shimmering stars.

“I’m fine, I just feel like I’ve woken up after a really long time.”

You bite your lip guiltily. All these weeks of you calling out to him, he never answered and you thought you were finally done with it all.

But you must have called him subconsciously during the event in the bathroom. And he saved you.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper. “I didn’t mean to wake you up. I never did.”

It’s all your fault.

Jeno would have passed peacefully if you hadn’t have called him back. From the Ouija board to the phone calls; every time he called, it was because you needed him.

And the fact is, you will always need him.

But Jeno deserves better.

He deserves to move on even when you don’t want to.

“You saved me, tonight, Thank you. And I’m sorry I keep calling you,” you say to him. “It would be so much better if you were still here.”

Jeno sighs.

“I can’t always be with you. I can’t always save you like I did tonight, like I did when we were five years old. That’s why I need you to be brave. I need you to look after yourself no matter what.”

“Jeno…”

“I need to go soon. I’m so sorry I can’t stay with you longer but know that I love you. I’ll always love you even when I’m not here.”

“No, don’t go,” you sob. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I need to go, YN. I can’t stay like this forever. You can’t, either.”

“But —”

“YN,” he speaks. “Listen to me. I promise I will always be watching over you. But you can’t keep calling on me to be with you. I’m not meant to be in your world anymore.”

“Jeno…”

Your entire body shakes with sobs. You’ve pushed away the truth for so long and to hear him say it, to hear him say he’s not yours anymore, it breaks you on every level.

“It hurts, Jeno.”

“I know. I know it does, baby but it’ll get better, I promise.”

“It won’t, Jeno. I’ve tried for so long and it still hasn’t gotten better. It still hurts so much.”

“It will,” you close your eyes and imagine his arms around you. You’ll do anything to make yourself believe he’s here with you. “It will get better.”

“Aren’t you scared?”

“I’m not scared, YN.”

“But I am. I’m scared to be alone again. I’m scared of what’ll happen to you. I’m scared of what comes after.”

“And that’s okay,” he shushes you and you can feel his breaths against your ears. “It’s okay for you to be scared. But you’re a strong girl. You’ve held on for so long. Now it’s time for you to let go.”

His words are like a melody to your ears and your soul shatters knowing this will be the last time you’ll hear his sweet voice.

You don’t want to, but you have to. For both of your sakes.

“Okay, Jeno” you sniffle. “I’m letting go now.”

***

When people tell you the grass is greener on the other side, you would never have thought you could feel those words as strongly as you do right now.

They sink deep into your bones.

The cemetery gives a dullness to the air but you’re certain the grass is greener than whatever lays beneath it, Jeno included.

You wonder if he passed peacefully, if there was another place he could go to. One where green grass still exists.

Your first time in a graveyard… it feels surreal. Much like the last half a year. Being here feels like a second awakening, like you finally have control again. And it starts with seeing him, speaking to him. The real him.

The grass guards many a grave and you weave your way through the headstones with a flower bunch in your arm. You read the names of them, none of them engraving in your memory until you see his.

Lee Jeno.

Your heart tenses, chest swelling with emotion.

All of your senses turn go into overdrive.

His presence surrounds all of you, engulfing all of your senses in the feeling of him like the days when he stood right next to you.

With trembling knees, you fall to the ground and let your fingers sink into the mud. You’re here, you’re finally here.

The entire world has convinced you that it would be so much easier after you visit his grave but you’re struggling to understand how that could happen when it hurts so much.

Letting go of Jeno was never going to be easy, you know that.

But you at least thought the pain would grow more bearable with time.

It’s been weeks since you heard his voice and you want nothing more than to have his strong arms wrap around you and hear his whispers of comfort, promises that he’d never let you feel an ounce of this pain again.

But you know it won’t come.

It never will.

This pain is something you need to live with now.

You place the flowers on the soil, letting your hand linger over him, too afraid to touch but too afraid to let go.

“Jeno,” you whisper. A single tear drops onto his grave. “It’s me.”

#✧ jella writes #✧ jella's fics #kflixnet #underworldnet halloween writing event #nct x reader #nct angst #nct dream x reader #lee jeno #nct jeno #nct jeno x reader #jeno angst

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summercreolefanfictioner · 2 years

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pov: you're a vampire girl who's unrequitedly in love with shuu sakamaki

"I always watched over you from afar because you seemed like my love. I thought you felt the same way, although you were looking somewhere else."

A/N: As part of celebrating Shu's birthday, I decided to finally post this headcanon that I've been having. Btw thanks to @crookedherringcolorclodthe2nd and @whitechocolatemochaasblog for encouraging me to continue this headcanon 'cause this one really sounds like a Wattpad novel lol

you were from a prestigious and reputable vampire noble family and as such, you were always expected to behave a certain way

like you're supposed to sit like this, you should never open your mouth so wide when you're laughing, you should never curse

you know... that sexism sht

it was until when you turned 13 that your parents introduced you to the Sakamaki bros

ofc you were kinda scared of them bcos they're Karlheinz's sons and one wrong move your head will be sent rolling on the ground

but apparently it all turned out well cause all of them treat you as their "onee-san" (esp the triplets and Subaru)

but you are mostly close to Shuu, like you two are practically bestfriends

though you end up having this crush on him bcos he looks exactly like your ideal prince charming from all those fairytale books you've been reading, plus he praises your singing skills

what's more, you could relate to each other bcos both your parents pressure you into becoming their perfect children

one day, Shuu told you that his mom opened the topic of him being in an arranged marriage, w/c kinda made you sad a bit

but then he said "You know, I wouldn't mind if you were my bride. After all, we already know each other. Plus, you're my bestfriend."

hmm you don't know if it's romantic or not

so your friendship continued... well, until they were sent to the human world to learn a thing or two abt mortals

but you two would still send letters to each other sometimes

and after many years, your parents told you they accepted Karlheinz's proposal of engagement between you and Shuu

ofc you were happy bcos you had a crush on him for a long time and you knew that he is willing to undergo this kind of situation as long as the bride was you

so you were sent to the Sakamaki manor to cohabitate with him and learn a thing or two abt his new life, and ofc you also go to school with them

ofc you knew abt Shuu's trauma and past experience, plus the pressure Beatrix had put on him, basically you thought you were the closest person to him

in fact you're the only one who still calls him Ririe

until you saw another side of him, like he makes perverted jokes, he worked as a cashier, he pretends to be asleep so he could prank Yui that he died (y do u do this)

and most of all, it was a shock to you that Shuu was in love with someone else

and with a mortal from the school nonetheless

this made you question yourself like why he's in love with a lowly mortal and not you, but at the same time, you can't blame him bcos the girl was a pretty ball of sunshine and you wanted him to be happy

so you distanced yourself from him, even moved out of the manor and rented an apartment unit near the school so you can stop yourself from falling deeper

and for some reason, things got a bit weird bcos Shuu suddenly showed up in his classes and even managed to get high grades (Reiji doesn't know if he will be relieved by this or not)

and whenever there are partner projects, you push him to choose that mortal girl, but he always picks you bcos you're his friend, he knows you better than anyone etc

you just wish he would stop being so kind so you can mend your broken heart easily

then a dance party at school was announced, something like going in pairs

during PE, you heard that this mortal girl was single, prob broke up with a cheating bf and decided to ask Shuu

and then a few days after that, you heard other girls from class say Shuu already has a date to the party

so you're dreaded going to said party like you can't pretend you don't like him and you're happy for them

the triplets were aware of your distress so Ayato said "If you don't come to the party, then it's like you're letting him get to you."

Laito "If you don't have a date, then we can be your bodyguards, you know? Plus, we have Subaru who will shoo away your pesky suitors."

so the party came and yes, you were guarded by Subaru and the triplets

Shuu was constantly asking you for a dance (woooow this is new) but you were like "Laito wanted me to dance with him" "I'm gonna go eat first." "I don't like the song. Maybe the next one."

like you're constantly pushing Shuu to that mortal girl

you even grabbed poor Kanato who was abt to eat his cake to the dance floor

thank heavens you didn't get murdered

"Why are you dragging me to your unprogressive love life issues?" "Sorry, Kanato-kun. But please, I don't want Ririe to keep pestering me. I want to move on, you know."

Kanato just sighed and when he twirled you around, he suddenly pushed you

ofc you felt someone catch you and judging by the way this person sighed, you knew it was him

oh no

so you and Shuu danced and you were like "Why are you sticking with me? You should ask that girl out. You said you like her, remember? Plus, she's your date, right?"

"She's not my date."

"Eh? So you didn't ask her?"

but before you could ask further, the mortal girl approached you two, telling Shuu how he lied that he doesn't have a date for the party when he's clearly dancing with you

it was a misunderstanding

he was supposed to ask her, not you

so you run off to the hallways to save face, with him following behind you

istg Reiji and the others watched the two of you like a movie scene ("Good grief, these two.")

when Shuu managed to catch up after you, he asked why you left like that and you kept making excuses like you had an emergency situation or you remembered leaving something in your apartment

"Y/N, just stop it. We need to talk."

"We have nothing to talk about, Ririe."

"Yes, we do. You keep avoiding me. What's wrong with you? You used to tell me everything."

and out of frustration and pent-up feelings, you kissed him... then it turned into a full-blown makeout session

but afterward you let him go, your face red and tears flowing from your eyes as you said

"I hope that explains everything that I wanted to say."

and he never saw you after that

you moved out of your apartment, you stopped going to school

he even contacted your parents but they said they don't know where you went

however, you informed them that you were still somewhere in Japan

and yes, you are still willing to go with the engagement (ofc you would bcos you don't want to face Karlheinz's wrath)

Shuu spent his days longing abt you, and it took him weeks before admitting that you were really special to him, even more than that mortal girl

but he wasn't in love with you... at least not yet

after 3 months, the boys were sent out by Karlheinz on a forced vacation in Hokkaido, something about bonding in a hotel with onsen and all that stuff

Subaru locked himself up in his coffin while Reiji proceeded to arrange all the things they've brought to the hotel

the triplets decided to go to an izakaya bar to have fun

and yes Shuu tagged along bcos he didn't want to be alone reminiscing thoughts abt his last moment with you

so when they came into the bar, the triplets suddenly stopped walking, making Shuu bump into Ayato

"Oi Ayato, move it-"

and then he heard that familiar singing voice and when he looked up he saw you on stage singing Tomorrow Never Dies by Sheryl Crow

as you sang the chorus, your gaze met with his and it brought back all the memories you two had from the beginning until you ended it with a kiss

no worries because you managed to choke out the few last lines while staring directly at him

"I see it in your eyes, tomorrow never dies."

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wackus-bonkus-maximus · 1 year

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‘ello wackus

Since you are prophetic with feligami- I request a guide to writing the pair because fandom content it sorely lacks and odnlb is like the textbook on their dynamic

(If you want of course ;] )

hey there sizzle!

i gotchu bro. here's a few things i did that helped me write my beloved feligami all throughout odnlb.

GUIDE TO FELIGAMI

felix's core desire is to make himself not helpless. that's why he's a little cringe fail nerd who knows a lot of useful shit and why he can do magic tricks and has sticky fingers. he wants to get the up on everyone before they can get one over on him.

kagami's core desire is to be perfect. she doesn't want to be good, she wants to be THE BEST. she doesn't want to do nice things she wants to do the RIGHT thing. because by making herself and everyone around her better the world will be a better place. right?

put them together and what do you get? A GOOD TIME THAT'S WHAT.

like they would have so much fun are you kidding me. felix being like "hey do you wanna play chess try this new thing that's interesting" and kagami being like "um do i." and then they'd both get really competitive over it. kagami being like "felix look at this stupid love square thing that could easily be solved with common sense" and they'd both sit back and watch with popcorn and 3d glasses. i really think they'd love to laugh together, especially at adrinette's life's absurdities, and just find lots of entertainment in entertaining each other. this on top of the fact that it's all brewing under the surface. for all intents and purposes feligami would be the serious and stoic couple until you spent like an hour with them. then they'll start joking around with each other with dead poker faces and no one else would get their weird humor.

but let's not overlook the fac that they're kinda like. on opposite sides of the moral spectrum 💀 i see kagami as very black and white in her beliefs. there is an objective right and objective wrong to every situation while felix is definitely more morally grey open minded on most issues. kagami will choose the right thing over felix and felix will choose protecting those he loves over doing the right thing. AND I THINK THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. they're so diametrically opposed in contrast to the love square and yet they have such hard respect for each other because of their ideals. and yeah this is why i was so drawn to feligami in those season 4 days. it's also the dynamic i incorporated into odnlb. i really think they rock each other's boats and that's what makes them so drawn to the other. it's great. i ship them so hard.

here is a lovely analysis by a lovely anon on odnlb feligami for enrichment reading that has my full endorsement 🦚🐉

#GO FORTH STANS #WRITE MORE FELIGAMI #i will join you again soon when i get more feligami fic inspiration #and also feel free to jump in on this if you want to contribute #i swear i'm not the authority on feligami #i just ship them very hard and very much #felix graham de vanily #felix fathom #kagami tsurugi #miraculous ladybug #feligami

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incorrectbatfam · 2 years

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no bond is stronger than the one between a batkid and his corresponding speedster

Literally, there's a speedster to compliment every bat

Dick and Wally have the classic brolationship—they have their own partners but that won't stop them from sleeping in the same bed, ordering one milkshake, or sharing custody of Zitka. They have the comfort of knowing that in every life, they have each other. Plus, Babs and Linda already have their bredding (bro wedding) planned out.

Hear me out: Jason's speedster is Owen Mercer. Owen, who's the second Captain Boomerang with short bursts of speed, can act as both the hero and the villain in different narratives. Unlike his predecessor, his alignment shifts to suit his needs but he's more good than bad, which makes him a prime Outlaw candidate. Also Jason wants to set the record for most redheads collected.

Tim has Bart. A lot of fan portrayals have Bart as tertiary to Tim and Kon (it's even a point of contention in canon). However, I think of Bart's mentality as the antithesis to Tim's. Tim mulls over strategy while Bart chooses to act first. They both have a stubborn righteousness, but Tim is jaded with experience compared to Bart, who maintains a youthful sense of optimism and ambition. They're both geniuses, but Bart is far more in touch with emotions and can call out when something isn't right in a relationship.

Damian has Wallace II. Canonically, they butt heads before coming to the realization they have to team up. Rather than being the opposite, I think Wallace's defiant attitude mirrors Damian's. They've both been let down by the adults in their lives and prefer to take things into their own hands. They both have childish egos that have been subdued over time, which can be both a common ground and a clashing point that keeps their relationship interesting.

I was initially gonna pair Jesse with Babs, but I think there's more growth potential with Steph. They're fast learners who aren't afraid to let themselves feel, and sometimes they're in over their heads. Jesse feels like a future snapshot of Steph. I can see Jesse showing Steph how to channel her passion and energy not just in being hero, but also becoming a better version of herself.

Duke and Cass share Avery. Compared to Duke, Cass and Avery have been around more. I can picture them taking him around the world on new adventures and teaching him tricks that Bruce wouldn't have. Avery switches between places pretty often, which makes her a reliable point of contact outside of Gotham. Also I wanna see Duke and Avery combine their powers.

Babs and Danica are the "let people underestimate us because of our disabilities" duo. While Babs is on the home front as Oracle, Danica is the speedster no one expects because her inhaler throws off all suspicions about her identity. While Danica doesn't quite fit with the Birds of Prey, she still makes a valuable ally.

Thaddeus possesses a cynicism akin to Cullen Row, although Thad is more unhinged. I can see them connecting over their resentment and without anyone to keep them in check, that can be dangerous. However, Harper is more grounded and draws clear moral boundaries, so she acts as a counterbalance that turns a destructive relationship into a productive one.

Jess and Carrie's nonbinary asses would definitely get along. They both have fun personalities and creative ways to navigate situations where not many tools are provided. They can be loud and attention grabbing when they want, but they also know the advantages of being in the background.

Kate and Max are similar in that they're mentors, but they're also not. They're the ones who step in when the usual mentor figures (Bruce and Barry) fall short. They have a distant exterior but provide lots of love and support once someone gets through to them, and they're not afraid to call out their counterparts.

Alfred and Jay have plenty of experience under their belts and don't let their age keep them from the action. It's abundantly clear that they care about their families, and it hurts when they can't protect them from everything. Jay has a more American Grandpa sense of humor while Alfred has the dry British wit, so together they're unstoppable.

John Fox barely shows up in the comics, but when he does he's doing what he thinks is best only to land in trouble. Selina would relate to the messy history and moral ambiguity where actions don't match intentions. They also both have a knack for disguises and can exchange tips.

Bruce has Barry, obviously. Their relationship is similar to Tim and Bart's. Bruce definitely lets the grimdarkness seep into how he sees the world, whereas Barry can step back and look at things from an objective lens. Not everything need a complicated plans with a thousand contingencies, so Barry is like the common sense/Occam's Razor. Plus, we all love how he and the team mess with Bruce—it's what Bruce needs.

#ask #anonymous #batfamily #batfam #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #flash family #justice league #dc comics #headcanon

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rottenprincessshura100 · 3 months

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Hello!

Chapter 140 has been my Roman Empire. Do you have any theories that lead to that future. Rin is alone but powerful almost like carrying Yukio sadness. I have been reading your theories lately and I really like your takes especially about the twins having two fathers and the watermelon theories.

Chapter 140, is showing us a possible dystopian future.

One that might not happen.

Mephisto has been spending all of his time meddling in the timeline, trying to find ways to stop the end of the world. He's been attempting to create the perfect vessel for Satan or Lucifer. Once he is successful, the world will come back into balance.

Mephisto can't see the future past a certain point, he doesn't have all the answers yet, but he's stacking his deck with options.

The dystopian future is bleak. Rin is powerful, but sad and damaged. Like he's been alone a long time, or fighting against a new evil, which I think is The Knights of the True Cross. (Crazy, right?)

In the future Gehenna and Assiah merge.

True Cross is under the authority of Arthur August Angel, whom, as we know, hates demons. Under Arthur's leadership, humans and demons are segregated. Demons are kept away at all costs, and Arthur is no doubt, hunting demons.

This is a big mistake

We know, from various chapters, that demon suffering brings evil.

Demons simply want to feel all the pleasures humans feel without pain. It's the pain, and the mistreatment that's the problem. If demons could live alongside humanity pain-free, the anger and resentment would fade. Demons wouldn't be so dangerous.

And if humans chose to instead live and collaborate with demons, perhaps they could build bridges and share divine power. That's the direction Yuri and Lightning were going. They aren't heretics, but smart.

Demons with family, seem to be able to spread out their powers and have viable human vessels. That's a reason why Mephisto has the ability to live such a good life, being as strong as he is. It isn't just his Time powers that preserve him but he's got a human family out there. (Of course he keeps his kin and family in hiding, and it's a mystery that's yet to be unravelled.)

Back to the Future

The Future for Rin must have been traumatic. There is a complete separation of exorcist factions. But who separated?

Rin obviously must be on the side of demons, and I'm hoping he's with Lightning, Shura, and Mephisto. I hope he's not all alone.

On the True Cross side, we have Arthur August Angel. And I hate to say it, but I think Yukio would still choose to fight against demons and side with Angel. (We haven't seen it yet, but I predict it.)

Something bad might also happens to Shiemi which divides the brothers into hating each other. If Rin lost Shiemi, it would kill his soul.

Not the Real Future

I honestly don't think this is the future that will stick. If Mephisto finds the perfect vessel for Satan and one for Lucifer, and finds a way to bind their powers. It's possible to stop the dystopian future from ever happening.

He keeps rewinding the timeline looking for the answer that eludes him.

I still think Shiro is the somehow the key.

Now, Shiro is dead to us, but never dead to Mephisto. Mephisto sees Shiro over and over, when he revisits and tweaks the timeline.

If Shiro decided to become Satan's vessel during the blue night. Maybe Yuri wouldn't have to die, and maybe both Satan and Shiro could raise Rin and Yukio. It's a long-shot, I know. But when Satan possessed Shiro both times, the demon's powers didn't kill him. Shiro stabbed himself to rid his body of Satan. In some capacity, Shiro was able to control the possession and push Satan back. That's no small feat.

I also think that demons and certain humans are destined to pair up. Shiro and Satan were compatible physically, and very much alike personality wise. Shiro was just weak of spirit. He wasn't mature enough for the burden. As a matter of fact, Shiro's actions created death and suffering. Yuri tried to escape with Satan, but Shiro sold them out to the order. This started the chain-reaction that lead to the blue night and Yuri's death.

If Mephisto could somehow change the past, and convince Shiro. Rin and Yukio would have a very positive future. Yukio only had Shiro to raise him, and he desperately needed Yuri. The woman loved demons and would have passed that knowledge off to Yukio, creating empathy and understanding.

In the end, the terrible dystopian future isn't Rin or Yukio's fault. Neither of them are to blame.

Like Lightning said to Yukio a few chapters back; Children are not responsible for the mistakes of adults.

Shiro created this mess, and he should be the one to fix it.

He needs to step up sometime in the past and offer to be Satan's vessel.

---------------------------------------------

We still have the trouble with Lucifer. There are various possible vessels for him kicking around.

We have Arthur, but I don't think he'd be able to share his body with a demon. He's weak of spirit and hates demons. If Lucifer possessed Angel, the exorcist would die. (might happen)

We have Shiemi, whom like Arthur was a clone or hybrid of Lucifer that was powered from Shemihaza's crystal.

3. The Uzai stole Lucifer's old ashes after Shemihaza destroyed him during the blue night. The fact that they were meant to be sealed away, means that they might still be viable source material for a new vessel.

4). We have Homare Todo, who is potentially a demon-eater like her father. She's hanging out with Lucifer all the time, and has caught his temptaint. She's a viable vessel and she might have the strength of soul to control and bind him. Maybe make him happy?

5). We also have Nemu Takara, a kid that seems to not have a soul, but speaks through a puppet. Who the heck is that kid? Is he an empty shell being controlled by Mephisto?

Anyway, this is one of my theories on the future.

It could go in any direction. ;)

#blue exorcist #ao no exorcist #blue exorcist theories #aoex #shiro fujimoto

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hisinfinities · 3 months

Text

Maybe it's silly, but I can't get it out of my head - I really do love the potential that putting Gojo and Sukuna into the Death Parade world has.

(When two people die at the same time, they're sent to a mysterious bar where they're forced to compete against each other in a game with their lives on the line. Upon arrival, they don't remember dying. Who they were before, how they choose to play the game, and how they handle their returning memories of their life and death, all help an arbiter judge them, and decide whether their soul is to be reincarnated or sent to the void forever.)

And I love the idea of Gojo and Sukuna going through this together. They battle, as they do in canon, but manage to kill each other at the same time (is this realistic given how Sukuna was holding back? Maybe not, but for the sake of the plot, let's imagine.) Suddenly they're in this weird place. Neither of them of have any memory of how they got there or what they were doing prior to arriving. They don't remember dying, they don't remember fighting, as far as they know it isn't even December 24th yet.

What they do realize, very quickly, is they have no cursed energy, can't use their techniques, can't do anything. Gojo doesn't have his infinity, his six eyes-- it's gone. The internal humming of constant RCT on his brain isn't there. All he can see is what's right in front of him. Sukuna looks closer to how he did in his Heian days (minus the massive size and extra body parts), no longer in Megumi's body.

Neither will voice it, but it makes them feel vulnerable. Feel so incredibly mortal. Human.

They assume, maybe, that this place is someone's domain, something to rationalize how they've suddenly lost every ability they had as Jujutsu sorcerers. The bartender -- the arbiter whom can already see their memories and will soon be judging them -- tells them otherwise, once they've approached the counter. They're skeptical, especially since they're told that they won't be able to leave until they play a game, but they play along. What else are they going to do, right?

I don't know which arbiter would be selected to judge them. Realistically they'd be special cases given Sukuna's list of crimes throughout his life and the destruction they both caused during their fight, but the idea of it being Decim does make me chuckle. I imagine Sukuna taking a seat at the bar, taking one look at this guy (the white hair, the bright, bizarre blue eyes) and immediately commenting about him being related to Gojo.

And what game would they be made to play? I wouldn't want it to be anything too modern, nothing like an arcade game as to be a little more fair to Sukuna. Maybe one of the many traditional Japanese board games, something that forces them to sit down with each other and talk (aside from all the banter we already know will take place regardless), and use their brains to win rather than their brawn. Perhaps Shogi, which has been around in some form since the Heian era? But I also like them having something slightly more physical, something like archery. Or darts, or billiards, games we've already seen in the Death Parade universe.

But they're a competitive pair, and go all out no matter what they end up having to play. Let's consider this a warm up round for the real thing, one of them says. Cue the taunting, the banter. Despite them both trying to win, neither seem to be taking it too seriously. The arbiter eventually reveals to them that their lives, their souls, are in fact on the line.

They don't take that very seriously either. What, is the loser of this game going to die? Whatever this bartender plans to do, they can get out of this-- they're the strongest. Even while being stuck in this place and unable to use their cursed techniques, they don't doubt that, and have a shared moment of "Pfft, get a load of this guy, right?" between them. They don't realize it, but they're bonding. Laughing off the idea of their lives being at stake over a game.

This poor arbiter sighing, stuck with such an egotistical pair of customers.

It's about halfway through the game that the arbiter begins to activate some of their memories. Suddenly they're remembering significant moments in their lives. Gojo being placed on a pedestal since birth, his near-death experience against Toji, his entire history with Suguru, his youth, his students, being sealed, Kenjaku possessing Suguru's body... And Sukuna. His life during the Heian era, being unwanted, to his rise to power and infamy and legend, the feeling of being in a body again after Yuji ate his finger, his first fight with Gojo, taking in the modern world through Yuji's eyes, awaiting the moment he can take his true form once more.

It makes them talk, naturally. Not that either of them are the type to open and up and share their life story, but they voice the oddity when they're both inexplicably hit with memories out of the blue. The way each of them came into their powers is an interest to them both. Their relationship with relating to others (or not.) The solitude that comes with power. These conversations start to happen. They don't see eye to eye on everything, but understanding forms between them. Gojo feels like he's reaching him.

They're nearing the end of their game and they've been damn near tied throughout the entire thing.

Memory of their fight hits Sukuna first. Then Gojo. Their shared fates revealed simultaneously.

They're dead. They've been dead this whole time.

There's the initial shock, sure (and a dramatic "Seriously, I'm dead? This sucks!" from Gojo), but whatever either of them may be truly feeling about it, they hide it well. Instead, they talk about the fight. Would we expect anything else? Tease each other for their blunders, lightheartedly talk about what they could've, should've done differently to win... but most importantly, there's praise. They both proved themselves to the other by the end, after all. And where they are now, well, that tells them they really are equal, aren't they? That the title of the "The Strongest," briefly, truly belonged to two people at the same time.

The two strongest in history.

Sukuna, just barely, wins their game. By one move, one point. Gojo whines in protest, but it's all in jest, in good fun. He feels so relaxed, so light, despite just learning that he's died. They're both taking it surprisingly well. The arbiter is so much more used to seeing their customers become confused, distraught, angry, in denial.

Maybe it's because for Sukuna and Gojo, they can't imagine a more satisfying way to die, going out in a blaze of glory in one of the most exhilarating battles they've ever had.

"So what now?"

The arbiter explains how they were being judged, in order to determine if their souls would be reincarnated or sent to the void.

They both laugh, but Sukuna noticeably harder.

"There's no way you needed me to play this game in order to judge me."

And the arbiter admits that yes, he's right, his soul was doomed to be sent to the void since the moment he set foot in here, and that the game was more for determining Gojo's fate. Gojo jokingly asks if he "passed," but then that he doesn't want to know, wants to wait until it's time. Deep down, he thinks it could easily go either way.

Sukuna eyes the bar, asks the arbiter if there's time for a drink before they go. It's granted to them. Gojo waves it off, says he's not one for alcohol.

"Are you really turning down my offer to have a drink? You're dead, this might be the last thing you ever get to do."

"Is the great Sukuna warming up to me? Fine, I'll have a drink, since you want my company so bad."

And they do, and it's a sight no one could've ever expected: Gojo and Sukuna sitting side by side, having a drink together in the afterlife. They talk briefly of what must be going on back in the world of the living now that the both of them are gone, what it means for the plans each side of the conflict had, but they don't dwell on it much. It's all out of their hands now and Gojo, as always, has full faith in the strength of his students. Whatever's happening now, he has to believe they'll be okay.

He does wonder about Megumi, though. They both do. If they were somehow able to save him or if Sukuna's death meant his own end, too, and if he's in this tower somewhere being judged by someone else.

Eventually silence settles between them and Gojo finds himself looking down at the bar counter, hand loose around his glass.

"This was fun. I had fun."

He doesn't expect to find Sukuna looking at him, looking... amused? Content? Leaning on the counter, drink close to his lips.

"You were magnificent, Gojo Satoru. I won't forget you for as long as I live."

What a strange thing to see such sincerity in Sukuna's eyes, to see him smile. Gojo smiles too, grins, feels a twinge of something in him that almost feels like something he hasn't felt since his youth. But then he scoffs.

"Gee, thanks. It's not like you're already dead or anything."

They share another laugh.

It comes time for them to go. They each stand before their respective elevators, which each sport a different mask hanging above them, indicating their fates.

Gojo is to be reincarnated.

"Good luck in your next life. Use it to become something even more impressive than in your last."

"Yeah, and good luck in your eternal pit of nothingness, or whatever."

The elevator doors open.

"... You know, it's too bad you're not going up with me." Is that the direction reincarnated souls go? Up?

"Why's that?"

"I'm just starting to think we could've gotten along, in another life. Could've been friends."

Sukuna chuckles, grins to himself. "I've never cared about having friends."

"Maybe in that other life, you would've."

"Maybe."

They exchange one final look, one of respect, Gojo offering a final wave before they step inside their elevators and accept their fates. The doors close. Behind one, a soul's memories are being erased and is being sent back to start anew. Behind the other, a soul is being sent into a dark, endless void.

And both of those souls stand equally proud.

#this is where i would write a fic if i knew how to write fics #( verse: death parade. )#( sukugo. )#sukugo #there's so much more i wanted to include but i had to force myself to stop bc this was never meant to turn into such a huge thing #and like i said i can't write fic lol this is just me word vomiting my au ideas at 6 in the morning #and this doesn't even go into other possibilities like! sukuna and gojo as arbiters instead of the ones being judged!#sorry for subjecting you to this but also watch death parade #look at ginti and decim and try to tell me that isn't sukuna and emo gojo #long post #i feel like this should go under a read more but also i don't wanna #this really spiraled out of control when i started adding dialogue i'm so sorry #i'm so scared to post this i'm about to be so embarrassed

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