#But my health is starting to get affected by all of this l m a o

[saltpepperbeard]

you ever feel trapped? like you’re just treading water, waiting to drown?

#OFMD #had to channel my inner ed because i just shdklsjdhks #jodi's no good very cranky day #here's the tea sis #i left a comfortable yet somewhat annoying job for a job that is currently VERY annoying and distressing #annnnddd i'm feeling that PARTICULARLY hard today #it also doesn't help that part of that stress feels like it's coming from neurodivergent burnout/issues and that can't be like #easily ~*~Explained~*~ to people #like the lack of structure/communication/transparency is driving me BANANAS because i very much need stability/cut and dry processes #annnnnd upper management is supposed to be fixing that #but it seems like they're making it Even Worse #so it just feels extremely overwhelming right now #and i can also feel everyone ELSE'S stress?? #and it seems to be upping my own because yaaaaayyy empathy (derogatory) #IDK man sorry I don't normally vent #But my health is starting to get affected by all of this l m a o #And the thought of having to uproot AGAIN if it doesn't improve is just #I feel like it's an unending loop of going from job to job to job where the spaces are toxic and no one communicates and> #<efforts are not respected #Soooo I'm just gnawing on my arm and wishing I very much could ZOOM AWAY ON A PIRATE SHIP SHDKLS

[maiko-san]

Catnap + Dogday x Reader ( Part 4 )

<<< Part 3

Relationship : Fluff

Warning : None (?)

Plot : Every time you enter the Playcare you feel eyes watching you everywhere you go. You feel stressed and start to become sick.

Recently, you feel uneasy and something tells you that you were being watched. Every time you go to work, you feel eyes on you.

It scares you.

Nobody likes the feel of being watched.

It made you stressed out.

You tried to get rid of these feelings by distracting yourself with work. You tried to keep yourself busy to a point you overwork yourself with all those papers or taking care of the Smiling Critters.

To a point it made your body ache and have a migraine from overthinking.

Not only that, Catnap has been acting quite differently too and his visit has become less and less each day. Not only that—

The lovely and sweet cat is avoiding you!

You finally asked the feline, what's the matter but only received—

"It's nothing...."

Nothing....nothing? Obviously there's something wrong!

Multiple questions began to swarm into your brain like a raging tsunami, did you do something wrong? It must be you, right? Yes, no? Maybe?

You had a slight feeling it has something to do with the higher ups.....

Did they tell Catnap to...avoid you? It has to be it, right? Why they do such a thing?

The stress starts to eat you the more you think about it.

Dogday and the other smiling critters saw that you've been stressed lately to a point it started to affect your health. It made them worried, especially Dogday. As a leader, it was his responsibility to care for everyone's wellbeing, including you.

"Angel, You look nervous lately. Are you feeling alright?"

"Oh, hey. Dogday....."

Dogday knew something was wrong. He comes closer to you and touches your shoulder.

You slightly flinch under his touch which made the canine even more worried.

"Angel, please tell me. Is something bothering you?"

"......"

"As a leader, it's my duty to help everyone in need. I won't forgive myself if anything happens to you"

"....."

Dogday holds your hands gently and holds them in his large ones.

You take a deep breath before telling him what's been bothering you, you know it will be useless to ignore the canine. He is stubborn and won't stop until you tell him what's wrong.

"I feel like something bad is going to happen. I don't know when. It might happen now, Sooner? Tomorrow?"

"......"

"I really hate this feeling, Dogday.....I-I can't get rid of it and no matter how many times I tried to forget it by distracting myself with work, I just.....couldn't— Not only that, Catnap has been ignoring me and started to avoid me! I— ugh, m-my head"

You suddenly drop to your knees causing Dogday to panic and he begins to whine worriedly.

Dogday's heart clenched the way you spoke. You feel scared, anxious and nervous. The canine pulls you into an embrace, in hope that it will help you calm down.

"Let's get you to the infirmary..."

Dogday makes sure that the school doctor treats you and gives you medication.

"Mrs. (L/n), I think it would be better if you take a week off from work"

"A week?!"

"Angel, it's for your own good"

"But—"

"No buts, end of conversation!"

The doctor said sternly you were causing you to snap your mouth shut.

The doctor also recommended you to rest someplace quiet and away from the city and your workplace.

It seems you have to go to your foster parents house, they always welcome you with open arms if you need anything.

"Alright...I'll take the day off..."

But still....that gut wrenching feelings still resides in you....

For today, you need to rest in the infirmary room until you are discharged.

Dogday leaves you to rest before proceeding to make his way back to his stage but before that, he wants to find Catnap first.

Dogday knows that Catnap is great at hiding, but it won't stop him since he has his canine sense helping him.

He sniffs around to find the feline until he sees the cat, snoozing around his stage like he always does.

"Catnap. I need to speak to you..."

"...Speak"

"(Y/n) is sick, have you not noticed?"

"...I know..."

"Then why did you help her with your red smoke? To make her sleep and at ease?"

"....."

Catnap looks away from the dog, Catnap knew that you were sick. It hurts him to see you like that.

He wants to help and comfort you, he really does but...

He had received an order he has to obey. His had to choose between two individuals that he adores. One he worships and the other he loves. Yet, he chose the one he worships, the one that saves his life.

Catnap knew that Dogday will help you and he trusts the dog with you in his care.

Other than that, using the red smoke on you will make everything much worse and potentially kill you in your sleep.

He doesn't want that to happen to someone who cares for him and loves him.

"Why?"

"Red smoke use...on stress person...bad could hurt and... possibly.........kill..."

"O-oh..."

Dogday rubs his arm before turning away, but before he leaves.

"Please, pay her a visit, Catnap. If you do, it makes her less worried and she would be happy to see you again"

"Also, She won't come to work for a week...."

Dogday leaves Catnap's stage, leaving Catnap alone to think about his decision to see you.

A/N : Another chapter finished 😁 . Also, a fair warning for all of you. The future chapters will become darker as it progresses since I want to stick to the plot of the game.

Also, the mascots have their own stages to perform for the orphans!

#poppy playtime chapter 3 #poppy playtime #poppy playtime x reader #poppy playtime dogday #poppy playtime catnap #smiling critter #smiling critter dogday #smiling critters x reader #smiling critters catnap #dogday x reader #catnap x reader

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Manager

Managers can teeter on the edge of being the most helpful and supportive authorities in your life or the worst. More often leaning toward the latter, it isn’t bizarre to feel helpless when they put a strain on your paycheck or your general health during and outside the work day. It’s infuriating and downright despairful when they use the power of management to make you miserable. But you can always file a report to HR or the branch head. Sometimes it’ll work but not always. More likely than not there’s more support for them further down the line which makes it even harder to contest. 

“(Y/n) didn’t I tell you to smile when you’re at the front? S-M-I-L-E!”

But there’s something just as alarming about the manager who doesn’t have that. No favor from directors, open to the reprimands of human resources, and even a criminal record to boot. There’s something that compels you to listen when you look for an ounce of sympathy in those amber eyes to find a tempest of unhinged madness. You can only begin to visualize in a fever-driven nightmare. 

That’s your manager. 

The lovely, awful, and disastrous manager that fills you with helplessness like no other. 

Yandere Manager is just so naggy. Not only to you but your coworkers as well because there’s always something to comment on. Even when it’s not insulting or condescending it just rubs everyone the wrong way. 

“The way the uniform looks on you makes it look like we dragged you off the street.”

“....”

“....You’re the one who gave her a uniform that isn’t her size.”

“Yeah, but she’s the one who looks homeless. (Y/n) how about you mind your business and actually do your job. Thanks!” 

Yandere Manager is especially unpredictable in his support of you. Sometimes joining unruly customers when they blame you for something you messed up on. While also defending you over something small that didn’t require anyone’s input let alone his. Situations with entitled customers is a coin toss with him.

“Miss I’ll just remake the drink for you.”

“No no, you don’t have to I just want to know what was used instead of oat milk.”

“Oh okay then it's…Mr. Manager?”

“....YOU!?”

“Me?”

“Oh no.”

“NEVER WALK INTO MY ESTABLISHMENT AGAIN!”

“What why? I didn’t–”

“IF YOU REFUSE TO LEAVE I’LL HAVE TO REMOVE YOU BY FORCE.”

“Ahhh!”

“Wait! You don’t need the crossbow! Put it down!”

“DON’T EVER SPEAK TO MY EMPLOYEE EVER AGAIN!”

You can hardly pinpoint a pattern to his discord even after his honest confession when you catch him rifling through your things. But he won’t explain why he steals your lunch or makes fun of you in front of your coworkers. Or why he slashes your tires and breaks the windows of your home. It gets so bad you’re starting to think he uses this supposed obsession as an excuse for his behavior.

“Will you please explain why you broke into my car…for the fourth time?”

“Hmmm no.”

“...fine don’t. Now get out.”

“No I don’t think I will.”

“I have pepper spray and a tasor.”

“I can handle pepper spray.”

~Kzzt~

“Okay fine, you win this time.”

But despite your suspicions, he’s very much obsessed. Convinced he’s owed your affections he doesn’t mind breaking into your home, invading your personal space, and making light fun-as lovers do. No, his more sporadic actions happen to be something like knee-jerk reactions of his love for you. Similar to cuteness aggression. Because in his mind he’d prefer to break another window of yours than murder the family next door for looking at you too long. 

“This will have to do for now. I mean they can’t pin me for their carelessness when driving into a ditch, right?”

Usually, he doesn’t mind just doing whatever he feels like but since you’ve caught and called the police on him he’s on a tight leash. Not because he’s at all afraid of the police. Not at all. It’s because then he’ll be breaking the hold he has on you. Let me explain.

The minute he did the slightest thing out of line you called the higher-ups who threatened him and assured you he’d be fired. Great. But when he cornered you in your own home with the possibility that this wouldn’t stop when he was fired you had to pause.

“Sure you might get rid of me at work but then you’ll never know where I am. Instead of staying at work with you, I might just be in your room or at your friend’s house, or in your car!”

“T-t-then I’ll call the police on you!”

“After I’ve already left? Well sure they can serve an order and arrest me if I’m too close but when I break out–and trust me I will–you’ll have no idea when or where I’ll be coming from. I’ll be a constant boogeyman over your life if you kick me out now.”

“.....”

“So don’t get me fired, kay?”

Yandere Manager who is only given a warning by his employers and police before you stop attempting to get others involved. As much as you hate to admit it, he’s completely right. For all the times you find him breaking in, already broken in, or stealing something of yours he’s never lied to you. The same can’t be said for others but even when he’s doing something wrong he’ll always be honest with you. 

“Mister Manager? Did you do something to my lunch?”

“No! How dare you accuse me of such a deplorable thing! I should write you up.”

“....(Y/n)?”

“Clyde.”

“What?”

“Did you mess with his food?”

“Yes.”

“Dude are you serious?!” 

Life with Yandere Manager isn’t going to be easy at first but when has it ever been for an employee like yourself? It’s best that you get used to your Manager’s obsession, heck it might help make your grueling shift a little bit better.

#yandere x reader #yandere x you #lovelyyandereaddictionpoint #yanderexrea #yandere #yanderes #yandere oc #yandere x darling #yandere oc x reader #yandere original characters #yandere manager #yandere original character #yandere oc x you #yandere ocs #yandere ocs x reader #yandere manager x reader

[french-unknown]

𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖗 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖑𝖆𝖜

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗: law 𝖈/𝖜: war, angst, little sibling!reader 𝖜/𝖈: 4.2k + 𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞: You were entertaining your sister at Flevance Hospital during the festival when Law, your older brother, burst into the room. From there, everything turned into nightmares.

| m a s t e r l i s t | - | e v e n t . s u m m a r y |

𝖑𝖆𝖜

You were snuggled against the shoulder of your 8-year-old big sister's on her hospital bed. Your black stuffed cat, Virus, was tightly held against your chest.

Since she had been affected by the Amber Lead Syndrome—as your father called it—a few days ago, you saw your sister's state of health gradually deteriorate. While she was with you at the festival a week ago, she was now too weak to even leave her room. All you could do to help her was dab her sweaty forehead with a cloth like your mother had shown you. So, wanting to prove that you were reliable for a 5-year-old child, you stayed by her side every evening by coming directly to the hospital after school to take care of her and keep her as occupied as you could.

“I’m scared.” she told you two days ago, in the middle of the night, while your parents were in their laboratory looking for a cure for her illness. Her skin, where snow-white patches appeared as if by magic, was almost cold as she held you in her trembling arms. You didn't dare tell her but her dark circles had become so purple that they scared you a little.

“Mom and Dad will find out what you have.” However, you replied confidently before placing Virus between you so that she could also benefit from its comfort.

Today, you were telling her about your day while hoping to distract her from the pain, when your big brother came rushing into the room.

He first took a quick glance at the closed shutters and then leaned against the door for a few seconds to catch his breath. As soon as he approached and was close enough, you jumped on him. However, the moment your hands touched his neck, you felt an instinctive recoil as you touched his sweaty skin under your palms. You also noticed that he smelled pretty bad from the sweat and his breathing was extremely ragged as his heart raced at the speed of light against your ribcage.

“Yuck!” You cried, starting to struggle in his arms. “You stink!”

You heard him growl at your childishness but he still held you briefly before putting you back on the bed next to your sister. The cough that suddenly escaped her lips cut short any beginnings of an argument.

"Big brother, I'm in pain" she moaned weakly between coughs. “My skin turns completely white.”

You crawled over to her to come back and snuggle against her shoulder while retrieving your precious stuffed animal along the way.

"Hold out." he encouraged her confidently while taking one of her hands in his. "Our father is the best doctor in the country. He will cure you."

Yet he was cut off by fireworks coming from outside. The sounds of the festivities were accompanied by the parade with its footsteps and people shouting with joy. In addition, you also heard the big drums of the marching band that accompanied them.

“What’s all the noise outside?” Lammy asked.

“There's the festival.” Law replied as if it were obvious. "Flevance is still prosperous. Get well soon, and we'll go see it."

Under your happy gaze, your sister began to smile despite the white spots that appeared on her face. A powerful wave of happiness tickled your stomach as you were reassured: if Law said so, then there was no doubt that Lammy would soon be back on her feet and you could finally all go to the Flevance's festival together.

You then went to snuggle your head back into your stuffed animal but you suddenly heard a loud drumming sound before people started running in the corridors. The steps were so coordinated with each other that they formed a very rhythmic two-step melody, like the parade.

tap - tap

tap - tap

tap - tap

A cloud of fireworks echoed in the corridors and a laugh rose up your throat, caused by the rise of the happy memories you had from the festival of previous years, but everything suddenly went black in your field of vision.

Panicked, you immediately jumped up on the mattress to look everywhere around you.

You thought for a few seconds of calling your big brother, still a little reassured to feel Lammy's body under your fingers, but a slight beam of light appeared before you could make the slightest sound. A long vertical opening opened in the bedroom shutter and a flickering orange glow seeped into the room to shower the floor with a thin rectangle of light.

The color quickly caught your attention because the street lamps normally cast a soft white light.

However, you didn't pay any more attention as soon as you noticed the round shadow of Law's hat blocking part of the lighting before approaching you. Arriving at the bed, you saw that he had his finger placed against his sealed lips.

A new burst of fireworks exploded in the corridor.

Except this time, you felt the wall shake slightly against your back.

Now that there was no more noise behind the wall and your older brother didn't seem to want you to talk, you listened. It was the first time since your very first visit to the hospital that you heard such silence in the corridors. And, considering you came almost every day to see your parents at work, that was pretty impressive.

Then, after a while without the slightest sound, you heard the parade moving away again.

tap - tap

tap - tap

tap - tap

Law’s breath brushed your cheek as he released his breath. You noticed at the same time that, without knowing why, you had also retained yours.

Your big brother got up from the mattress and took your hands to pull you from the bed towards the large wardrobe. He gently pulled the door open, in order to avoid squeaking the hinges that all three of you knew were noisy, then lent his hand to Lammy so that she could obediently climb inside.

You shook your head in refusal when he came closer to you, still locked in his silence, but he still picked you up by the waist before putting you directly in the closet.

You too, when you will be 10, will be strong enough to carry him like that!

“Hide here for a while!” He ordered in his I-am-the-eldest tone before closing the door.

And, even though you didn't see why you had to stay in the closet, you agreed to stay there without a sound. It didn't seem like hide-and-seek so it shouldn't have been a game. You stayed listening to the big drums that resonated outside with the fireworks.

They didn't make the same sounds as in previous years so you couldn't wait to see what they looked like. Were they a different color? You prayed in your heart that it would be black fireworks because, like your big brother, you loved this color.

Unfortunately, at this thought, a shiver of fear went up your spine.

You began to desperately feel around in the complete darkness of the closet. On your knees, you repeatedly placed your hands all over the floor but you couldn't find your stuffed animal. Tears welled up in your eyes. Immediately, you crawled as best you could to the door which you pushed very slowly.

If Law knew you disobeyed him, he would be angry at you.

But the little flickering orange light from outside also brought a small ray of light to your cubby, so, already seeing more, you turned over on your stomach before wriggling to get one leg out of the furniture. You let your lower limb hang in the void outside the cupboards, the floor of which was too high for your little legs.

"What are you doing?" asked Lammy, of whom you could only see part of her face as she grabbed your wrist.

“Virus is on the bed.” you explained to her.

The flu on your wrist eased and you let yourself slide to the floor thanks to the weight of your leg stretched outside the closet. Your heart beat a little faster as you fell, only to calm down again when you had both feet on the ground again. You took a quick look around—only to realize that Law was no longer in the room—before rushing to the bed. However, your problem did not end there because, very quickly, you realized that your cat was no longer in the blankets.

So you returned to the wardrobe, where you leaned your head inside.

“Virus isn’t here,” you declared in the darkness of the closet. “I’ll pick it up and come back!”

Then, without waiting for her response, you closed the door before heading towards the hallway. Your cat was on the bed before the lights went out. You only saw one reason for its disappearance: Law had taken it from you.

Slowly, you opened the bedroom door and entered the silent corridor.

You quickly realized that it was as dark as the room you had just left and, moreover, what little you saw seemed quite murky. It was a bit like looking through a veil. A smell of grilling tickled your nostrils but you didn't pay attention to it. You also noticed that it was oddly warm all of a sudden.

You found yourself alone in the dark in the hospital which was not as usual. In a word, you were terrified.

Not wanting to stay there for too long, you were relieved when you heard footsteps echoing down the hall. You were so relieved that you started running towards them without thinking while trying not to look around. You were too scared and you just wanted to find your brother and your cat.

You then ignored as best you could the unhinged doors which, instead of being well installed as usual, were now lying half torn off against the walls like overturned shelves. You also avoided turning your eyes towards all the little black holes on the partitions that you saw showing through in the darkness.

Finally, at the end of the hallway, you noticed your older brother crying.

The ball of terror that had already been eating at your stomach until now began to nibble at your belly even more. Your legs picked up the pace, not wanting to be alone anymore.

You then arrived in front of another door, which was not like usual, and you saw your big brother lying there. Light shone through the broken window in front of you while the torn purple curtains did nothing to stop it. You also noticed almost immediately the other black holes that were everywhere on the walls here. A repetitive puck-puck echoed in the room from the bag of liquid punctured a few meters from you. You saw Virus' head sticking out of Law's back pocket before really taking in the scene that was unfolding before your eyes.

And what struck you the most was your trembling big brother's body in front of you while enormous moans of agony were heard in the room.

You moved closer, terrified and not understanding what was happening, until you found yourself a few steps away from him and saw what he was lying on. You first perceived your mother's brown hair and her eyes closed against your father's shoulder, while he was on his back with his empty eyes rolled back.

Your stomach knotted painfully, making you double over in pain, and tears welled up in your eyes.

This was sadly a bad idea because, as you looked down, you noticed a pool of dark red blood extending from beneath your parents until it quickly approached your own shoes. Panicked, you took a step back so as not to get any on your soles.

"Mom! Dad!" your big brother yelled next to you, lost in his world.

“Law?” you uncertainly called him with the ridiculous hope that he would reassure you. All of this was just a bad dream and you were going to wake up in your bed to the smell of waffles or pancakes made by your mother.

But you only saw your big brother jump before turning towards you with a horrified face. His wide eyes and his pale complexion were enough to tell you that he was in no better condition than you. His distorted mouth also didn't have time to yell at you for escaping from your hiding place when the footsteps of the parade quickly returned.

tap - tap

tap - tap

tap - tap

“There’s one left!” yelled a muffled voice, no doubt alerted by Law's previous cries.

He then moved so quickly that it was as if he had been electrocuted. He immediately jumped off the motionless, embracing bodies of your parents before lunging towards you. He pulled you violently towards the window then, without waiting, he climbed onto a chair and held you by the waist before pushing you through the broken window. However, he didn't throw you hard enough because you hit your knees quite deeply against the broken glass.

You nevertheless manage to land on the other side.

And it was at this moment that the fireworks started again, whistling painfully in your ears while your knees began to burn as well. But Law landed next to you and quickly took your hand before starting to run at full speed.

His pace was so fast that you sometimes felt your legs give way under you but the grip on your arm was such that, even if you were no longer touching the ground, your brother was carrying you with him. Your chest began to ache from the effort and it was like your lungs were turning into dried raisins, unable to fill themselves with air. Your breathing sounded like a whistle, but you were still unable to stop.

Too caught up in fear, you heard footsteps crossing behind you as well as fireworks being fired in your direction.

"Don't let them get away! Eliminate them!" shouted an almost imperceptible voice in the hubbub of the explosions.

One brushed against your leg and, despite the pain, you continued running.

Law eventually took you back to the town bridge and, as you went to cross it, he instead guided you towards the river it overlooked. He suddenly pulled you towards his foundations then pressed himself against the white stone wall while pressing you against him. With your back against his stomach, you felt his hand slip in your neck before pushing against your mouth. He covered it for you like this until your wheezing was completely muffled against his palm. Despite the fear that twisted your stomach, you were even more petrified the moment you felt his hand tremble against your face just as his chest trembled like a leaf against your back.

The footsteps reappeared again, but before you could react, you heard them pass across the bridge above you and quickly move away.

When your brother released you, the pain from your cuts was excruciating. Where they burned you before, they now scratched you as if a whole tribute of ants had taken up residence there to swarm everywhere under your skin. The blood that ran down your legs before drying into crusts also made you feel tight after having tickled you.

But Law ignored this and began to leave toward downtown Flevance.

A lump of anxiety settled in your throat as you didn't want to be alone in these conditions that you didn't understand. So you started to trot, ignoring your pain, in order to reach your big brother who was walking straight in front of him. He seemed anesthetized. You joined him after several steps which tired you much more than expected.

You then crossed all the streets with their buildings that you knew like the school, the house of your friends or even the ones of other members of your family further away.

You were shocked to see the immense flames that rose from the houses to devour the walls until they collapsed with immense crashes. The black smoke escaping from it was also so dark that it blended into the fire-illuminated night sky.

Everything around you was red: the ground, the walls, the reflections in the water and the sky.

Distracted by the infernal picture that surrounded you, you stumbled against an irregularity in the ground. You then suddenly came across the obstacle and, when you looked down, you found yourself face to face with some little blonde pigtails that you had already seen before. You reached out a trembling hand and used it to brush the hair out of the girl's face. Unfortunately, her position must have been unstable because her body, until then curled up pitifully on its side, rolled limply onto its back.

You were then able to recognize this expressionless face and these eyes where no light was shining through.

Extinct, you saw her again as she accompanied you home every Tuesday and Thursday evening, as usual, to help you with your homework afterwards. You recognized her with her characteristic pigtails with which you always saw her, whether it was sunny or rainy.

And now she stood there, as gloomy as an empty shell, staring at the stars without seeing them in her uniform wich was torn and stained with blood and dust. Dark patches of blood had also spread into her hair where it dyed them a darker color while holding them like straw. Additionally, her skin was a strange bluish color with purple spots on her hand and her shoulders had been pinned against the ground.

Nearby, you heard Law start to cry and scream again in front of all the corpses around you. It didn't take long for you to recognize them all as his classmates. After all, Flevance was a small town where everyone knew each other from birth.

Suddenly, a huge commotion sounded behind you. The sound was so loud that you had to cover your ears.

You then turned towards the origin of the noise and, in the distance, you saw that the flames were starting to spread across the landscape from where you had come. Immediately, you noticed Law's back running in that direction.

You tried to follow him but your weakening knees refused to get up.

"Big brother!" you called out to him as loud as you could, panicking.

But your scream was lost in the crackling flames and the silhouette of your brother moved away until it completely disappeared in the chaos. Tears then flowed freely down your soot-covered cheeks.

You were alone in the middle of the flames.

You didn't know what was happening to you

Your father and mother were dead.

Everything you had ever known was burning.

Sobs choked your throat so, in search of comfort, you grabbed in despair the first hold that came to hand: that of the girl who used to help you with your homework.

Her fingers were stiff and her skin cold as snow but, despite how disgusted it made you, you desperately needed a reassuring touch. You squeezed her hand into yours and it was almost like squeezing a stone.

Cold.

Hard.

Impersonal.

The heat of the furnace slowly began to become more and more unbearable. The skin on your face was so tight that you felt like it was going to break on your cheeks any minute. Your tears in your eyes also made it difficult for you to see anything besides the blur.

Finally, after a while, you saw a black silhouette appear in your field of vision.

However, you no longer had the strength to do anything for yourself so you remained frozen in place. The body got closer little by little and gradually darkened everything you saw through the blur. A hand suddenly touched your shoulder and, terrified, you jumped before raising your head.

"Please!" You didn’t even know what you were begging for. "Please!"

And, instead of responding, the figure fell to their knees in front of you before taking you in their arms. With your nose in the stranger's neck, you immediately recognized the smell of your big brother mixed with the ones of sweat and fire.

You immediately closed your arms around him.

It was then that you felt wetness on your neck with drops of water tracing their path to your collarbones. The grip around you tightened until it was painful but you didn't care.

Your knees hurt from the injuries, your legs refused to move from running, your head and eyes throbbed from crying, and last but not least, your heart was in pieces. So your brother's embrace, even though painful, was completely welcome.

“Lammy is-” he started in a shaky voice before he cut himself off and a fresh burst of tears fell down your neck. "She's-"

Pain exploded in your chest as you understood roughly what Law probably meant.

“The hospital burned down.” he declared painfully.

Understanding then fell like a sledgehammer to your head.

Devastated, you remained crying among the corpses until early morning. You were then interrupted by new footsteps, which returned much more calmly than the day before. Law was the first to hear them and, without waiting, he lifted you onto his back before starting to run.

Thus tossed around, you did not immediately notice when you later saw a horse harnessed to a cart a few meters from you.

No one else was in sight.

Law thus went around the means of transport but froze when he arrived at the back. In front of you stood a pile of corpses thrown pell-mell into the cart. Arms, legs and heads could be seen here and there in the melee. Everything was covered in ashes, soot and blood. The smell was also unbearable, making you nauseous, while a large number of large black flies were circling around them.

You recognized a hand with nails painted a familiar color but you couldn't remember its origin.

You leaned back, anticipating Law's turn around but, to your surprise, he continued his way towards the cart. You widened your eyes before tapping his shoulder several times out of nervousness.

"What are you doing?" you asked hurriedly.

"It's the only way." he announced to you before placing you next to the cart.

He turned towards the pile of bodies then lifted one of them on top as best he could before looking towards you expectantly.

"Come on!" he hurried to you with fear clouding his gaze. He looked around you several times. “They could come at any time!”

But, since you still didn't move, he kept the corpse raised with one hand in order to grab you by the arm with the other. He pulled you violently towards the pile of bodies and made you climb it brutally before almost throwing you under the dead body which he released on you. A shiver of disgust went up your spine at the feeling of the cold and rigid weight crushing against your back.

Beneath you, an elbow dug into your ribs.

You suddenly felt Law shove something soft into your outstretched hand and, looking in, you saw Virus resting quietly there. You immediately brought your hand—and your stuffed animal—back to your face and buried your nose in his warm, cozy stomach which still smelled like home.

Disconnected, you barely noticed when Law lifted another corpse a few bodies away from you to stand under it and not move.

After an interminable wait, someone finally arrived and you heard a snap before the cart started moving. Little by little, you noticed that you were leaving the city center, then the barbed wire walls that had been installed around the city a few months ago.

You then passed near a forest.

Something warm and soft came into contact with your hand and gave it a light pressure. You then felt the contact break before noticing your brother slipping out of the pile of dead bodies to the ground even though the horse was still moving.

In your turn, you let yourself slide.

As soon as you had both feet on the ground, he grabbed your hand and started running towards the trees.

Miraculously, no one noticed you.

You were saved.

/!\ 𝖔𝖕𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑 𝖘𝖆𝖉 𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖓𝖌 /!\

A few weeks later, Law returned to your hideout with his arms full of provisions of all kinds such as berries, mushrooms and a rabbit. He carefully placed them on the ground near the entrance before approaching the back of your hiding place with haste.

He had left you there while he had left looking for something to eat, lying on the ground and agonizing.

Your little five-year-old body had been pale and sweaty for several days while your temperature had skyrocketed. Law knew that every time he lifted the thin blanket covering you, he would find two gaping, infected wounds on your knees.

He recognized all the signs, having learned them from his father, but he didn't have the equipment to treat you.

He had the theoretical knowledge but he was doomed to watch the skin around the wounds become more and more red and swollen until, a few days ago, it began to ooze.

Unfortunately, when he came back to you that day, it was to find your pale and cold body waiting for him with your stuffed animal resting on your chest as your only comfort.

Your chest which no longer showed any movement.

He knew in that moment that you would never open your eyes again.

He collapsed.

°˖✧ Salut ✧˖°

I just wanted to warn that this is the first times that I have written texts with a somewhat horrific style, so I am sorry if you got excited about the title for nothing and were disappointed. I'm also not a consumer of horror material because I'm a big—huge, you can't even imagine how much—sissy, then the stories risk not being very original.

So, if you see points that can be improved, don't hesitate to let me know so that I can get better. Thanks! ~

𝕴𝖙'𝖘 𝖆𝖑𝖘𝖔 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖓𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖓-𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖉 𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖕𝖎𝖊𝖈𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖒𝖊 𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖐. 𝕴 𝖍𝖆𝖉 𝖆 𝖑𝖔𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖋𝖚𝖓 𝖜𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖞𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕴 𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖞 𝖍𝖔𝖕𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖊𝖓𝖏𝖔𝖞𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖙 𝖙𝖔𝖔!

𝕿𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖐𝖘 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖘𝖊𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖓𝖊𝖝𝖙 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊!

𝖏𝖔𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖞 𝖚𝖕𝖉𝖆𝖙𝖊

𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙: @iheartamora @bontensh0e @opchara @lys-ada @xomingyu @dozcan123

#one piece #one piece x reader #trafalgar law #trafalgardwaterlaw #trafalgar law x reader #halloween #halloween 2023

[vivi-in-the-sky-with-diamonds]

George's SFW Alphabet

(Source)

Like I said last post, I am so sorry for my absence. Again, mental health said, "no post today lol" and I couldn't argue with that. Anyway, this is the second post for today, and the third in the SFW Alphabet series. Sequel to this post.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

The ever-stoic George is actually much more affectionate than he appears. Loves holding hands.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

I imagine you and George have been friends since school. A lot of your time is spent trying new foods together.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

George is very middle ground on cuddling. Sometimes, getting into a comfortable position can just be too much, but other times, it doesn’t matter to him. Likes to “cradle” you.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Quite keen on settling down. Not so much as certain other Beatles, but definitely more than John. I have an image of George in a maid dress with a feather duster in my mind.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Would break the news extremely gently. Gives them a goodbye kiss on the top of the head.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Keen on the idea of marriage. One of the most likely people to suggest elopement.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Gentler than one would expect. Very in touch with your and his feelings.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

George enjoys hugs, to a degree. He’s not always keen on super tight hugs, unless the mood calls for it.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Says it quite quickly, probably on the third date. He’s sort of joking at first, but at some point, you both realize he means it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

I don’t imagine George as the jealous type. He might have qualms over certain things, but usually he just keeps quiet and lets you handle it.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Teeth are usually involved in George’s kisses. He loves biting your lip, ever so slightly. Loves to be kissed on his jaw and shoulders.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Again, quite middle ground. He’s not always quite sure what to do with them.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Most mornings are lazy. George tends to sleep late, and that habit eventually rubs off on you.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

George’s late nights are the reason for his late awakenings every morning. Usually likes to dance or watch telly in the evenings.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Similarly to John, he’s quite closed. He might eventually open up slightly, but there are things he would never say.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

I’m not really sure on this one. On one hand, I can see George with a fuse similar in length to John’s. On the other, I see him as extremely patient. Choose your own adventure?

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

George tends to remember big things more easily, but does remember a few random little things.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first time you kissed, or when you finally said “I love you”.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Overprotective to the max, almost more than John. Doesn’t like to keep weapons but will bite and punch.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

George puts a good amount of effort into everything he does. You’ll never catch him half-assing anything.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Smokes like a chimney. Also leaves crumbs in the bed.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Like most things, George is middle ground on this too. Always makes sure he looks tidy before going out, but not one to spend several hours on an outfit.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Definitely. I mean, he has his days where he’d rather be the only person in existence, but who doesn’t?

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

George actually doesn’t like nicknames. You and the lads are the only ones he’s okay with using them.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

George is not particularly fond of some bland food.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Medium sleeper. Some loud noises wake him up, but quieter sounds don’t. Has never heard of wearing a shirt to bed.

#mine #george harrison #george harrison x reader #sfw alphabet #vivi in the sky with fanfics

[entropy-game-dev]

Alpha testing, v0.11a & patchnotes: The dark side of RNG

In the v0.10a build blog that L had tested, I had mentioned that the enemy AI’s targeting was not working, and they were mainly using defensive moves or otherwise acting passively. Well, as you’ll see in the patchnotes below, the AI was indeed turned on, which led to some... interesting developments.

Ye olde RNG

It’s always valuable to get feedback from new players, as both M, Z, and myself were quite familiar with the game now. Over subsequent iterations testing, the early game may have become a bit overtuned, in the enemy’s favor. These included:

Flat stat increases per level rather than a logarithmic curve that front-loads the stat gains

Slightly increased encounter rate in the first area

Slight debuffs to the overtuned starting moves

Now, considering this is an SMT-style game, I am perfectly fine with the early game being a bit of a rough start until you get a full party. However, the starting area’s  RNG in SMT games are a lot gentler to compensate, whereas here one has to deal with:

1 or more enemies spawning from any faction

RNG part drops

and RNG recruitment chances.

And on the whole, I was correct in that on average, one was statistically likely to make decent progress during the early game. A few levels and any gear drops generally makes fights much more even, but the downside of using RNG as a mechanism to add variation and excitement to the game means that sometimes, you just get unlucky. Of course, I consider running from encounters a necessary part of the game, but running away all the time when first starting out isn’t very fun!

A great suggestion L had to remedy this was to only allow certain weak enemies to spawn in the first area. This will ensure that one will have encounters tuned to their specific level of power, and the reduced variance in enemies will ensure that they can build a general strategy to deal with the units in the area. I’ll be working on implementing this later on.

Visual clutter

The worse your Astronaut’s condition is (low health, energy, oxygen, number of bad status effects) means a worsening of visual effects. My design reasons for this are numerous but in short, it serves as a warning to the player, it adds immersion, and it adds a small amount of visual difficulty. While I stand behind these decisions, I can understand not everyone will appreciate this, and especially in the early game where one is trying to learn the game, adding this visual noise is likely to add to the frustration, and detract from learning the rules of the game.

This definitely affected my friend L, and as such I’ve allowed one to set the intensity of the effects to zero (previously you could only go as low as 5%). Furthermore, I have another option planned that lets you customise the amount of time the screen stays glitched before it goes away. Purists (like myself) can set this to 100% of the time for a challenge, while those that aren’t keen on them can set them very low, or off if desired.

I’m sad to see that my effects were not as well-received as I’d hoped, but that’s the whole point of testing! M and Z didn’t mind it as much, which was interesting. Obviously, the glitching isn’t going anywhere, but now it can be removed if one so desires!

And that’s about it for these notes - you’ll be seeing a couple more playtest blogs in rapid succession because I happen to be a god at fast turnarounds (not really, it’s just that I fixed a lot in this version and the next couple of tests were quite short). Patchnotes, as always, are below:

v0.11

Features:

Routine now tells you why it is unavailable

Mouse cursor now becomes hidden after a period of it not being moved

Controller right stick now moves the mouse cursor!

Shows kmown enemy affinities during move selection

Shows targeting locations during move selection with enemy dimming

Mouse controls for selecting planets!

Mouse controls for choosing attack target!

Added doors! (Sprite + turning + tooltip)

Polish:

Darkened move text if it's on cooldown

Changed destroyed icon's colour based on team in routine summary

Enemy AI doesn't prioritise applying an already-applied status effect

AI doesn't kill themselves unless their cost is like way above their remaining hp

Carpet bomb's description changed: "standing on the ground" -> "in the lower row"

Turned down frequency of visor effects

Added tutorial about scanning enemy more than once

"hopes and miracles" -> "miracles, hopes, and dreams"

When mouse tooltip is shown, the mouseover stat panel is hidden

Move kamikaze flag in movedb now flags when a move that costs HP should be used when on very low hp

Made AI control limit message imply it can be increased later on

Stopped mouse interaction during the gameover sequence

Allowed mouse clicks to advance the gameover sequence

Slowed tutorial spam

Made right click during targeting selection cancel it (until you mouse over the attack menu again)

IN TRANSIT now appears when flying

Bugs:

Welding now available to use on bottom row

AI AOE grid generation working now

Right icon displayed for AM cost on move window & ammo not overriding EN cost now

Stopped battles occuring inside a wall

Mouseover move icons in equipment panel now working

Move mouseover now refreshes when you swap parts

Fixed aerospike engine no item sprite

Fixed script picking a logid greater than the max log

Fixed picking picking a log part greater than the max number of log parts

Stopped crash related to equips grid when summoning a unit

If you get teleported down a floor and are looking at a feature, that feature does now appears

routines/null/ now is routines/<parttype> when looking at parts in ship storage

Fixed the %max resource increase/decrease status effects

Fixed big bug with how stats were being refreshed with the "always" trigger - rolled this into the stat refresher script

Fixed move costs not appearing when shown on character status panel

Fixed move panel crashing when selecting defend/retreat

Fixed deadzone calculations and stopped R stick from being used as controls as it controls the mouse

Units will correctly prioritise moves that give units a status effect they don't currently have

Fixed targeting issues where the user moves before the move happens

Fixed routine summary not working properly for elemental bursts

Element now revealed properly on burst and on 0 damage attacks

Fixed teleporting not updating the minimap

Stopped "see trap" tutorial triggering on the spawn tile

#indiedev #gamedev #gaming #pixel art #scifi #space #gamemaker #programming #rpg #robot #devblog #game #videogame

[nitromilk]

I was in a longest time in a relationship with someone who I thought I was going to marry, have a house together and grow old with. I guess the term, nothing last forever is so true. Or perhaps, love is truly blind? So blind that you don’t realize that you have been abused for so long. It was almost like a Stockholm syndrome. I was held in this mental hostage. It only took me 6 years to come to my senses. I felt so burned out that not only my mental health was affected but also I felt it physically.

I really want to step be step go over how did I get here. How did I get out of this? Or how did I even get into this?

Rolling way back, I just moved from NJ, my cozy one bedroom apartment to NYC, to do something new. I felt so dull doing nails for a living. The money was great, but then, money truly doesn’t buy happiness. I was always a hopeless romantic. Always trying to chase that idea of love. With some savings, I took a leap of faith and rented a room with three other roommates in Bushwick, off the L train. It all was so small, scuzzy, and rough but I was just so happy. Finally to be able to live in NYC, it’s just an American dream, truly. I didn’t have a job for couple weeks but my friend back then, Ludi, she found an ad on facebook a dog walking gig for some company. I applied and the owner Eli, hired me after 5 minutes of meeting me. He was very nice and sweet.

I thought I had the coolest job, I got to play and walk the dogs everyday. Sadly, the money couldn’t even cover my rent, or barely food. I would walk average 8 dogs a day, they were scattered all over Manhattan. One was on UWS, Fidi, Tribeca, Chelsea and back to Fidi. It was so hectic everyday to chase with the time to get to the dogs, I would run to the subway, or citi bike as fast as I could to the nearest subway, just to really make on decent time because I was stressing that my dogs are going to pee all over the house. I think I hit 25k steps average, I was constantly hungry but also broke so I would steal a fruit from time to time from some of my dog’s house. I figured they won’t notice a banana out of a bunch.

What I didn’t know that, people treated dog walkers like shit. Especially doormen, not all of them, majority of them weren’t nice but there were some good eggs. They would be power tripping and make you feel so little, so unimportant. My pride and dignity was in question because of the way they talked to me. Man, New York can be brutal, but what I learned today, you can catch the flies more with honey than vinegar. After 6 months of dog walking, I loved the dogs, but also I was going more and more broke. I kept paying rent with my savings. My bank account and my body weight were both super skinny.

One of my dogs, Chi Chi, the love of my life, she was a fawn frenchie, she was my most favorite dog. I had never loved anything and anyone as much as her. Her owner worked late so she said that I can revisit Chi Chi when I have no more walks. So I would come late afternoon to Chi Chi, and she would be so happy to see me. We would talk, she would listen to me with her big eyes and stare through my soul. I felt so understood. Many times, I was so tired, I would just cry, and she would just get me. Other times, I would come to Chi Chi and take a nap on the floor and she would cuddle up with me. When I didn’t walk dogs, I had classes at FIT. Chi Chi really was so special, my heart was so broken when she got suddenly sick and had to get comfortable. I still tear up when I think of her, I don’t think I can get over that. Anyways, funny story about Chi Chi. Her owner, was the only one person who showed me some appreciation, she would either leave me some tip money or a sweet treat. I thought it was very nice because no one else did or acknowledge much that I took such good care of their furry babies.

Chi Chi’s mom, M, I don’t feel like saying much, but we clicked, I pursued her and we started dating.

I saw the red flags, I didn’t know they were red flags but I should’ve ended after a month of us having fun. Instead, it only took me 6 damn years. I don’t regret anything but I do wish I woke up sooner. Things started coming to my senses when I started working at Tod’s and my one coworker said something so simple. “If your partner doesn’t celebrate you, then what’s the point of being together”.

I am tiring myself out right now writing this.

Goodnight

[loversj0y]

More presidentbur ideas while i work up motivation to do the angsty part 3 (these hcs are not related to the political rival au)

Finding wilbur asleep at his presidential desk and carrying him to his chambers despite being a little over half his height. Maybe he wakes up halfway to the room, and he’s just being carried around like a doll. Imagine if he flails around in surprise and ends up knocking the both of you over. 

S c a l p.        m a s s a g e s.  during the stressful time of the election

Imagine coming in late at night to find him still working at his desk. The two of you start talking, and you end up on the floor, sitting across from each other, toes touching and knees brought up to your chests (his back against his desk and yours against the wall). At one point he starts talking about the war, and it turns to him holding out his hands, palms facing up. You meet him in the middle, reaching out your own hands to hold his, gently tracing the scars. Eyes soft and downcast, he stares at his hands as you pet them, murmuring some quiet thoughts about the effects of the war and the difficulty of being president— the distant look in his eyes almost suggesting that he’s talking to himself. But then he looks up at you, face grim and tired and so worn, yet relieved that there’s at least one person he can be human with, without the constant fear of accidentally ruining their image of a confident, silver tongued president and revolutionary (no matter how hard you try and assure him that nobody would think less of him if he showed weakness for once– especially not tommy. But it's like talking to a brick wall). You hold your arms out, open, and he just pitches forward slowly, head coming to rest on your chest as he slumps against you. His hair tickles your face and you scrunch up your nose, running a hand through the brown curls to flatten them away from his face… which makes him sigh happily at the feeling and go limp. Eventually he falls asleep. 

Offering a kiss for every hour he sleeps and abstains from work. He sleeps for eight hours? Eight kisses in the morning! He sleeps for only three? Only three. Good incentive, but you can hardly convince yourself to stick to the plan and always end up giving him more kisses than he had “earned”-- because in reality he deserves all of them.

That’s all for right now! I hope you get over your hangover, and I’m excited to hear about that gunpowder idea…..

my god these are all. just completely amazing holy shit man i fucking love president bur man hes such a stressed out guy he needs Love. i love the idea of just hauling him to bed and him being like. what the fuck how. and when he knocks you guys over hes just like

“holy fuck im so sorry fuck oh my god uhhh let me- i can carry you?” confused and half awake trying to figure out how to fix it.

i think scalp massages are his off button. he needs kindness and affection.

3 i am SO BIG ABOUT. he is so used to upholding his reputations that he forgets how to feel human!!!!! so being there and getting him to feel human again, process his own traumas, and feel okay and *real* is such a big thing (mental health awareness and treatment in cwilburs arc is something ive thought abt so much bc with the first piece i wrote EVER being abt cwilbur’s death, i thought a lot about how the insanity would fester and how. if someone had been there and treated him as human instead of a chess piece he couldve been better off)

also. yes. he needs sleep he is so sleep deprived so if this works itd be amazing and he’d love it (eventually. he’d be annoyed at first but once he starts feeling more rested…)

also hangover is almost totally passed now! as for the gunpowder thought, it might not be enough to inspire something alone, but it certainly will be enough to set up a motif in a work about c wilbur’s death, if i ever go on to write another (i could always reworkshop ‘i dont smoke’ now that im better at writing and understand cwilbur better)

#mar answers #listenheresweaty :3

[sarahperfectgirlmichelle]

i REALLY DO love U

1,000% ReAl 1,000% SaNe

So how about some of that goddamn affection you promised me?

you're always so fucking serious. why do you treat having a sense of humor like it's a federal offense?

When I was young and enduring periods of insecurity I used to have to play this on repeat ALL of the time. Just to get through being rejected. Don't have to play it at all anymore.

Because. . .

"Sanity" is . . .

m e r e l y i n t e g r a t i o n

I'm highly symptomatic listening to that meditation music when I'm alert/aroused.

My mental health GOAL is to be able to hear anything, anytime and not be symptomatic.

HOWEVER, I'm not counting on it BECAUSE I HAVE SENSORY ISSUES. That much I can accept, and my life has been so much better for having done so.

and as far as having self control, yeah I have self control. I can manipulate myself in order to manipulate others. But why would I? Why should I have to? I'm already a good person. And so are you. How can I make it obvious that I channel my insanity into karaoke, video games and being an internet comic? What else should I be channeling it into?

Alright. So how to put myself into a summary that isn't going to get me murdered. You know this just makes me want to go off on a philosophical rant or 20 right? God fucking dammit... Hey wait? Is this my goddess giving me an order? Okay. But no deadlines. I got this assignment in kindergarten and I'm over 33 years late turning it in.

Always just wanted someone else to write my eulogy.

My only goal in life being to outlive my enemies whoever they may be

Well writer's block is a welcome feeling. Maybe this is how I attain peace.

I can't be as direct as you are. I just am. i EXIST. Reaching conclusions isn't a starting point for me, it's the product of gathering enough clues and intuitions to create a system map. I'm the system map. I'm not constructing a lie. I'm searching. I don't have the answers pre-canned; at my best, I have them pre-scanned. I do not identify as any particular conclusion or opinion. I don't betray my heart no matter what my senses or logic tell me. And I'm even more of a wiz at the ol' logic than I am with the ol' feelings.

i cost c o m m u n i c a t i o n & p a t i e n c e

i'm paid in a f f e c t i o n

So do whatever, whenever. I always have my

i n n e r p e a c e

&

c l a r i t y

Just don't Engage the Killswitch and put me into BT Overdrive

How's this for a LIFE HACK:

Whenever your heart gets broken 💔, save the pieces and put them back together yourself ❤️‍🩹

don't mind if i do . . .

♡ ♥💕❤ ♥💕❤😘❤💕♥❤💕♥♡

💕HEARTS💕

♡ ♥💕❤ ♥💕❤😘❤💕♥❤💕♥♡

♡CANNOT B♥cribbed♡

♥SHOULDN'T B♡fibbed♥

♡ ♥💕❤ ♥💕❤😘❤💕♥❤💕♥♡

🌸💜✨🌼🌸💖💜🌼✨🌸💜

CringeWarning: clicking the above link is bound to cause more 1st, 2nd, 3rd and every.other.kind.of.🤙 EMBARASSMENT than any 💜 could possibly 🧸 🌸💜✨🌼🌸💖💜🌼✨🌸💜

This here isn't my "growth" this is my "normal"

I know I'm down for you whoever you are. The only caveat being that I make everything as gay as I possibly can.

take whatevers tho; ain't no one collecting no royalties

#perfection #my writing #words #Spotify

[katsukavi]

"OH SHIT!" part 1

It's an Omega Jin-Woo x Alpha Male Reader. It's titled "oh shit" because they keep falling into more and more pain, but end up falling for each other. This is part 1!

THE STRONGEST HUNTER, Sung Jin-Woo was mistaken to be an alpha with his build and strength but he was an omega. It made sense back then when he was an E-Rank hunter, but now that he changed greatly and it was nearly impossible to distinguish him from Alphas from a glance.

That was the S-Rank (L/n) (M/n)'s mistake. He had thought that his best friend was an Alpha his entire life, going on a 'sleepover' and going out to drink. Stupid move yes, but male omegas are rare — making it less likely in (L/n)'s head for Jin-Woo to be an omega.

Anyways, this.. this was a horrendously severe mistake an Alpha and an Omega could do. Two idiotic adults spending time alone.

"What the hell?" (M/n) rubbed his eyes, his other hand trapped underneath Jin-Woo's waist. He could feel bare skin underneath the blanket, making him retract his hand almost immediately.

'What the fuck?! What the fuck!?!' he thought repeatedly, confused on why he and his friend were naked. Sung Jin-Woo groaned, taking the blanket and covering himself in his sleep; the only thing he could do to stay warm.

(M/n) took a deep breath, turning away from the sight and walking away. "Nothing happened. We just got drunk.. Definitely. 100%.." he told himself, trying to stay optimistic as he slid something on— continuing with his morning routine.

But it still lingered at the back of his mind, even while making breakfast. What the hell happened that night?

"What time is it?" Jin-Woo exited the room, groggily scratching his stomach. "It's 11am.. Aaand, it looks like you found my favorite black shirt.." (M/n) mentioned, putting eggs on his plate.

"My clothes are missing so I'm borrowing this for a while," Jin-Woo rested on the table, his head and body aching in pain. "Eat this. It's good for hangovers," (M/n) threw a banana towards him, Jin-Woo catching it easily.

(L/n) sat down, glaring daggers at Jin-Woo in silence. The Shadow Monarch didn't spare any concern, still chewing on his fruit. Or was a banana even a fruit? It was like (M/n)'s dilemma, was the banana sitting across him a fruit(Alpha) or a vegetable(Something else).

"H-Hey.. Jin-Woo," (M/n)'s hands trembled, doing his best to seem composed. "...What are you?"

The question was vague, both of them sitting in silence before Jin-Woo swallowed his meal. "I'm an S-Rank Hunter."

(L/n) calmed down, trying to forget his worries. It's impossible, someone as strong as Sung Jin-Woo couldn't be an omega. Besides, they were both male so it's not possible in the slightest. The possibility was slimmer than a sheet of paper.

Sung Jin-Woo, a powerhungry bastard did not know why his friend acted so unnerved that day. In fact, he just didn't care. With his immunity to alcohol, he could remember a few glimpses of that incident and just accepted it.

It is what it is. If it's not a fight, he does not care.

It's not like he could get pregnant. (L/n) (M/n) was more of a Beta-type person if he said so himself. He was neutral with everything and is less agressive than the Alpha males he's met. He was a chill dude overall. He calms Jin-Woo down like a beta would.

Besides, he confirmed that on (M/n)'s hunter wikipedia page. They were totally safe.

That's what he thought.

"Holy Fuck—!!" (M/n) stepped back, watching Sung Jin-Woo vomit his lunch right in front of him. "Are you okay?!" He dropped his rapier, immediately rushing to aide his companion. He used his skill, a bright red blast defeating all the monsters in the vicinity.

"My Liege?!" Beru shouted, worrying about his health. Other shadows gathered around, worried about their master's condition. "I'm fine.." Jin-Woo said, wiping the spew from his mouth.

"Yeah right! I just saw you vomit Niagra Falls right there. You're going home," (M/n) grabbed his shoulders in a commanding manner, feeling that someone so valuable shouldn't be in dangerous territory that moment.

"Igris, take him home.." (M/n) looked back, the aura around him turning heavy. "But Igris is my shadow—" Jin-Woo tried protesting, the dark knight obeying (M/n)'s order instead of his. Jin-Woo wanted to continue fighting too, but he couldn't defy (M/n).

"Eh? (M/n) Hyung, where's Jin-Woo Hyung?" Yoo Jin-Ho came from around the corner, seeing (M/n) alone in that cave. "I sent him home. The bastard was sick," he responded, grabbing his precious rapier from the floor.

He couldn't believe he dropped his beloved sword on the floor like that. He didn't even let anyone touch it with their disgusting hands.

"But he's an S-Rank Hunter too? This isn't even an S-Rank dungeon.. He's fine by himself."

(L/n) (M/n) froze in between putting the blade in it's sheath. Jin-Ho was right, why the hell did he send an S-Rank Hunter home? He even had his own system and multiple shadows, it wasn't like he would die in a measly A-Rank dungeon.

He knew how powerful Jin-Woo was based on his own experiences with a System. That's how they met in the first place. A system collaboration.

"...Just shut up," (M/n)'s voice was sharp, making the Beta tense in fear. "Y-Yes Hyung!" Jin-Ho responded, never seeing the laid back hunter so serious before. Was he finally acting like an Alpha?

[The Orion System applauds the 'Predator; (L/n) (M/n)']

[( ' ▽ ' ).｡ｏ♡]

"Why are you applauding me?" (M/n) glared at the yellow boards of notifications in front of him. He moved the screens away from his view, looking at his ceiling as he felt the empty space beside his bed. 'Jin-Woo was here just four weeks ago..'

His (e/c) eyes went wide, facing away from that empty space. 'He's my friend! I shouldn't be thinking of him like this. He'll probably think I'm weird...'

[You rn: (*♡∀♡) ]

[lol ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

"Fuck you Orion or whatever your name is... damn system," (M/n)'s face flushed, hiding himself under his covers. 'Jin-Woo's scent... It smells really good.'

Sung Jin-Woo's condition started to get worse. He drank a few health potions but none of them seemed to be working— only amplifying the effects of it. He tried looking if it was an odd debuff or curse, but none of them seemed to be the cause.

Since he could heal anything himself, he was almost sure not even the hospital could find out what it is. He was absolutely afraid this 'curse' could affect his work life.

"Have you gone to the hospital?" (M/n) asked all of a sudden, making him freeze. "That won't do anything.." he sighed, resting his head on the restaurant table — not feeling the least bit hungry.

"We should go just in case though," (M/n) grabbed some of the meat on his plate, deciding not to waste them. "It's a condition not even a health potion can fix. It probably won't be anything simple to fix by going to a hospital," Jin-Woo murmured.

"There you go with being negative again.. You've been really moody these days, huh Jin-Woo?"

"I wanna die.."

"Mhm, you've been saying that for the past week," (M/n) patted his head, comforting him a bit. "I'm going to eat the rest of your food," he said, trying to taunt some life into Jin-Woo.

"Okay, I'm not hungry.." he said, ignoring (M/n). 'Oh gosh, this is so serious that the power hungry Shadow Monarch gave up on eating??' (M/n) felt a little sorry for the male, continuing to eat his lunch. "Let's go to the hospital."

"You are 2 weeks pregnant. It looks like you have to get on hiatus for at least five months. I know you're an S-Rank hunter, but please think about the life inside you as well."

'What?'

'Pregnant?'

"Jin-Woo, you're an omega?"

"And you're an alpha?"

❝ OH SHIT! ❞

#solo leveling x reader #fanfics #sung jin woo x reader

[filmsmakkari]

Years | Shawn Hunter

Pairing- Shawn Hunter x Black!Reader

Warnings- Honestly just cringy writing cause I’m not that good. Especially towards the end.

Word Count- 1,757

𝐀𝐠𝐞 𝟕

You had been sitting alone at the swing set when a boy with blue eyes sat down in the swing next to you. You were both silent for a beat before he spoke up. “I like your hair.” You turned to him and smiled. Your hair was done up into two puffs, with your edges laid with a pink bandana tied like a bow on your head. “Thank you! I like your’s too!” And you did. You admired the way his brown locks framed his face. “Thanks,” he said before you fell back into silence. 

“I’m Y/F/N Y/L/N,” you looked at him again. 

“I’m Shawn Hunter.”

The two of you played together at the park for hours after that, begging to stay together when Shawn’s dad and your mom decided it was time to go home, and it was clear to everyone, even then, that you two were going to be the best of friends.

𝐀𝐠𝐞 𝟏𝟏

Shawn Hunter was completely and utterly in love with you and he wasn’t shy about it. The whole of the sixth grade knew about his plans to marry you, and he’d even just purchased a ring! 

You were grabbing a textbook out of your locker, and when you slammed the door shut and turned to the right, you saw none other than Shawn standing there. He was wearing a tuxedo with jeans and black shoes. His hair was slicked back and there was a rose in his jacket pocket. 

“Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, I’ve love you ever since I first met you that day at the swing set, and you make me the happiest boy- i mean man in the world,” Shawn fumbled his words. “So what I’m asking is,” he bent down on both knees “will you one day, possibly, consider marrying me?” 

You smiled at him. “Yes Shawn, I’ll one day, possibly, consider marrying you.” 

A bright smile crossed his face as he slid the ring made of wire tied around some sort of crystal on your finger. “Now stand up fool.” You chuckled and grabbed Shawn by his biceps, bringing him to his feet. 

Before either of you could say anything, an ecstatic Corey Matthews ran passed you screaming “she said yes!”, throwing rice as he went. You both stared as he ran back, saying “Congrats by the way,” and throwing some rice over your heads, before running off again.

You and Shawn turned to each other, soft smiles painting your faces. “Come on,” you grabbed his hand and pulled him along “we’re gonna be late.”

𝐀𝐠𝐞 𝟏𝟒

By this point you and Shawn had started showing more affection to each other. Your hand, on which you still wore the ring he gave you, was always in his, he kissed your forehead at some point every time he saw you, and every time you said goodbye to each other, he would wrap his arms around your waist (whilst your’s were secured around his neck) and spun you around in a tight hug.

You were walking to the park where you and Shawn had first met, his leather jacket that you’d stolen the previous day draped over your shoulders, two box braids hanging down from your half up ponytail, framing your face. As you approached the swing set, you saw Shawn sitting there, his eyebrows furrowed as if he was in deep thought.

“Where were you all day? Mr. Feeny was basically harassing me for your whereabouts,” you said, sitting on the swing next to him. 

“Eh, I just wasn’t feeling good.”

“Well Shawn are you okay?” concern laced your tone.

“It’s just, I don’t know, ever since my dad hit the road, I’ve been feeling like I’m not enough.”

“Not enough?”

“Yeah I don’t know, it’s stupid.” Shawn stood up, extending his arm to you. “Come on Y/N/N, I’ll walk you home.”

“Shawn!” You took his hand and stood. “If it’s got you so upset that you can’t even show up to school, it’s not stupid. Come on, you know you can talk to me about anything right?”

And so Shawn stayed and you talked. That was the first time Shawn had ever opened up to you about his insecurities- things you’d never known actually hurt him.

The night ended with him walking you home. You stopped at your doorstep, taking his jacket off and handing it to him saying “I really care about you Shawn, you know that right? And then you’ll always be more than enough for me?”

“Yeah peaches, I know.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, and it felt as if you were the only two people in the world. A quick flicker of Shawn’s eyes to your lips was all the motivation you needed to cup Shawn’s face and press your lips against his. You felt him tense up at first, but quickly relax, bringing his hands to your waist and pulling you closer to him. His lips molded so perfectly you almost felt as if you were meant to kiss each other. 

When you finally pulled away for air, you just stared at each other fondly. “Well goodnight Hunter.” You walked into your home and shut the door, leaving Shawn in a euphoric state of love. 

Shawn Hunter was love struck by you. No doubt about that.

𝐀𝐠𝐞 𝟏𝟖

You snapped a photo of the raging waterfall and the surrounding trees and moss covered rocks. Shawn was standing a few feet in front of you, his hands in his pockets as he admired the view before him. “You know something peaches?” Shawn turned to you and extending his arm out for you to take his hand. “What’s that Hunter?” you asked as you took his hand and rested your head on his shoulder.

“We should get married here,” he said softly and turned to you.

You looked up at him, eyebrows raised. “For real?” 

“What, you think I proposed for nothing?”

You feel him lightly tug the finger that was still clad with the ring he made you seven years before. It was in that moment you realized that Shawn truly intended to marry you one day.

“Okay Shawn, let’s get married here.”

𝐀𝐠𝐞 𝟐𝟐

“Now as I understand, you’e prepared your own vows?”

You nodded, the strands you left out of your twisted out bun swaying as you unfolded your vows. 

“Shawn Hunter, I think I knew I was in love with you in the seventh grade when you made Stacy drive you all the way to Pittsburgh just to pick me a bouquet of aromatic asters just because you knew I love them. It was at that point I realized you would move heaven and earth to make me happy. Even on your worst days you did your best to put a smile on for me. Your devotion towards me even before we started dating is something I promise to reciprocate for the rest of my days. To me, marriage was never particularly important growing up, but i means the world to me with you. I want to be your wife. I want to grow old with you. I want you to hold me in your arms every night. I promise I’ll never give up on you. I am completely, irrevocably in love with you Shawn Patrick Hunter.”

“I love you peach.” 

Shawn took a deep breath, and read, “Y/F/N, my whole life, I’ve felt like I’m not enough. If they don’t walk out on me, I push away people I love cause I doubt that I’m good enough for them. For twenty two years I’ve been trapped in this cycle of neglect, gaslighting, and self destruction. The only good thing I’ve ever had is you. When I’m with you, my whole world gets brighter. I’ve never once doubted that that I’m enough for you. Since we were seven years old, you’ve given me the love and care I’ve never gotten from anyone else- not even Cory makes me feel as loved and respected as you.”

“That’s me” said Cory, coming up to stand next to Shawn. “You ready for this Shawnie?” 

“Yeah Cor, I’m ready.” 

Cory returned to his place as Shawn continued. 

“So what I’m saying Y/F/N is that 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦. 𝘉𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭, 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶.” 

You released a soft sob at your fiancé’s words. 

“Do you, Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, take Shawn Patrick Hunter to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?” 

“I do.” 

Shawn beamed at you.

“And do you, Shawn Patrick Hunter take Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?”

Shawn squeezed your hand. 

“I do.”

“By the power invested in me, I pronounce you, husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.” 

Shawn wastes not time grabbing your waist and pulling you towards him and kissing you you passionately. As you separated, he whispered “𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶.” 

𝐀𝐠𝐞 𝟑𝟔

“So you and dad already knew you were getting married when you were my age?” Aaliyah, your thirteen year old daughter asked.

“Mhm,” you hummed as you pulled her curly hair into a puff on top of her head. “He proposed to me in the sixth grade with that ring,” you gestured to the wire ring on her finger. 

“You two should be a romance novel.”

“You know, I’m not opposed to that,” said Shawn, leaning against his child’s doorframe. “Your bus is outside kid.”

Aaliyah kissed your cheek and says “Bye mom!” before grabbing her backpack and letting Shawn kiss her forehead before going to get on her school bus. 

You started to walk towards Shawn as he said “You know,” he placed a gentle kiss on your lips “i can’t believe you girls are mine. I never thought I would be a husband or a father. Let alone a good one.”

“Shawn, you are the best father. Liyah reveres you, and going forward she’ll model herself after you. And I love you too, more than any words can explain.”

Shawn Hunter loved you. Shawn Hunter loved his daughter. Shawn Hunter was adored by you. Shawn Hunter was deified by his daughter. And it was more than he could ever ask for.

Authors Note- All the italic text are quotes from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

Stacy is Shawn’s sister that was mentioned in one episode in season one.

Aromatic Asters are flowers we’re pretending only grow in Pitt.

This felt so much longer when I wrote it lmao.

#shawn hunter x reader #shawn hunter #shawn hunter imagine #shawn hunter x black!reader #shawn hunter fanfic #shawn hunter one shot #boy meets world fanfic #boy meets world #x reader #fanfic #oneshot #imagines #fluff

[evidence-based-activism]

Okay! So, I decided to go ahead and go through the sources linked by @aliciabenissa on this post. Mostly because I really hate when people try and debate the literal definitions of words with me. @radkindoffeminist I thought you may also be interested in this since you commented on this post. Before beginning, I want to reiterate again that non-academic sources are still useful rhetorical devices. Essays, speeches, anecdotal evidence, and other sources have a role to play in both academic and non-academic discourse. It is disingenuous however to pass off an non-academic source as academic (and it is also a rising problem within many academic fields). First source (McKee, 2007a) used a self-selection survey sample of about 1000 people, 82% of whom were male. I had to go to a separate article (McKee, 2007b) to get that statistic. Additionally, the response rate to this survey was only 7.3% (very low). Further, this article is concerned exclusively with the effects of pornography on porn consumers, entirely neglecting the industry itself. The ultimate conclusion of this study is that people who consume pornography tend to think it benefits them positively. This is unsurprising, considering we tend to avoid ego-dystonic behaviors. In fact, previous experiments have shown that we tend to adapt or world-views to fit our behaviors, so as to avoid cognitive dissonance. Nonetheless, this source was an academic source. The second source (Orlowski, 2012) is not an academic source. It was published in the “Modern American” a student run, non-peer reviewed publication at the American University Washington College of Law. This is not a study, meta-analysis, or or review article, and is best characterized as a position paper. I don’t want to get too far into the content of the paper, but suffice to say, the paper argues that non-obscene pornography is protected under the first amendment. Curiously, the author posits that the current definition of obscenity is a reliable measure for deciding what pornography should be allowed, despite the definition of obscenity being notoriously unreliable and obscure. The third source (Friedersdorf, 2016) is also not an academic source. It is essentially an opinion essay published in The Atlantic. The main argument used is based on population studies, a methodology challenged in this study (Kingston & Malamuth, 2011), which you will note, is an actual peer reviewed academic article. The fourth source (Diamond, 2009) is academic! It’s also challenged by the same paper mentioned above (Kingston & Malamuth, 2011). The other main finding of this work is that people only want porn to be restricted from children, and think it’s fine to have available. Again, I don’t find the fact that porn consumers believe porn is fine to be surprising (see the discussion of the first source above). This article is also entirely focused on consumers. The fifth source (Pornography, n.d.) is a Psychology Today article that references the fourth source. Along with a study similar to the first source (McKee, 2007a). The same criticisms clearly apply. Nevertheless, the authors of that particular study (Hald & Malamuth, 2008) actually take the time to point out these problems with such a study design, and explain how the survey results actually support the arguments about desensitization, which is common component of anti-porn arguments. Source six (5 Reasons Watching Porn Together Can Be Good for Your Marriage, 2013) is a HuffPost article. It is not academic. The ideas presented are inane at best, and offensive at worst. Source seven (Moyer, n.d.) is also not an academic article. It is published in Scientific American which is a popular science magazine. The studies and arguments used in this article have already been debunked above. Source eight (Park, 2010) references source four (Diamond, 2009). It’s also not an academic source, as it is published in Time which is a magazine. The article also take an anti-pornography stance, describing the results as “provocative” ultimately unreliable and problematic. Source nine (McCormack & Wignall, 2017) is an academic source with a small sample size (n=35) of all men. It again is entirely concerned with the consumers of pornography, and relies on self-report of positive/negative effects. I explained how this is a flawed methodology in my discussion of source one (McKee, 2007a). I cannot verify if source ten (Wasserman, 1996) is an academic source or not. Based on what I’m able to access it looks like a position paper. Source eleven (Why Criminalizing Rape Porn Is a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Idea, 2014) is non academic. It is an opinion article in an “Internet Newspaper” called The Daily Dot. It’s entirely an appeal to emotion and references several of the above debunked arguments. Source twelve (Prause & Pfaus, 2015) is academic. It’s also about whether or not men who view porn experience erectile dysfunction, which, frankly, isn’t one of my main concerns about the sex industry. Since I know this is the only reason why some men will stop watching porn however: the study’s findings are strongly rebuked in a subsequent comment (Isenberg, 2015) that lays out several methodological and analytical problems found in the report. The final source (The 8 Best Sites to Watch Ethical, Fair Trade Porn, 2017) is not academic. It’s another opinion article with no sources (but plenty of links to porn sites) on The Daily Dot (the same as source eleven). It barely presents an argument at all, so I’ll just link you to my posts on how porn cannot be legal because it doesn’t comply to OSHA and a short opinion post on the violence inherent to porn. So, in summary: 8 out of 13 sources are non-academic, 4 out of 13 sources are academic (2 of which are directly challenged and all four of which have significant methodological issues), and 1 source is unknown. Of the twelve sources I verified, they were all entirely concerned with pornography consumers; neglecting “sex workers” altogether. (Hopefully, I don’t need to spell out why that’s a problem.) And @aliciabenissa I genuinely hope you aren’t sending sources like this to your supervisors and calling them academic. I strongly suggest using databases from your library or institution (such as ulrichsweb) to verify the legitimacy of sources.

A reminder for everyone that I have several essay posts discussing literature on the sex industry in my “sex industry” tag. This post may be a nice place to start for literature on how porn affects the consumer and I challenge other pro-porn articles in this post. Also take a look at this post for a nice summary article on the nordic model.

[Citation list under the cut]

5 reasons watching porn together can be good for your marriage. (2013, March 7). HuffPost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/5-reasons-why-watching-po_b_2766968

Diamond, M. (2009). Pornography, public acceptance and sex related crime: A review. International Journal of Law and Psychiatry, 32(5), 304–314. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijlp.2009.06.004

Friedersdorf, C. (2016, April 7). Is porn culture to be feared? The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/04/porn-culture/477099/

Hald, G. M., & Malamuth, N. M. (2008). Self-perceived effects of pornography consumption. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 37(4), 614–625. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-007-9212-1

Isenberg, R. A. (2015). Viewing sexual stimuli associated with greater sexual responsiveness, not erectile dysfunction: A comment. Sexual Medicine, 3(3), 219–221. https://doi.org/10.1002/sm2.71

Kingston, D. A., & Malamuth, N. M. (2011). Problems with aggregate data and the importance of individual differences in the study of pornography and sexual aggression: Comment on diamond, jozifkova, and weiss(2010). Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40(5), 1045–1048. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-011-9743-3

McCormack, M., & Wignall, L. (2017). Enjoyment, exploration and education: Understanding the consumption of pornography among young men with non-exclusive sexual orientations. Sociology, 51(5), 975–991. https://doi.org/10.1177/0038038516629909

McKee, A. (2007a). Positive and negative effects of pornography as attributed by consumers. Australian Journal of Communication , 34(1), 87–104.

McKee, A. (2007b). The relationship between attitudes towards women, consumption of pornography, and other demographic variables in a survey of 1,023 consumers of pornography. International Journal of Sexual Health, 19(1), 31–45. https://doi.org/10.1300/J514v19n01_05

Moyer, M. W. (n.d.). The sunny side of smut. Scientific American. https://doi.org/10.1038/scientificamericanmind0711-14

Orlowski, J. (2012). Beyond Gratification:The Benefits of Pornography and the Demedicalization of Female Sexuality. The Modern American, 8(2), 53–71.

Park, A. (2010, December 2). Study: Making pornography more accessible may curb child abuse. Time. https://healthland.time.com/2010/12/02/study-making-pornography-more-accessible-may-curb-child-abuse/

Pornography: Beneficial or detrimental? | psychology today. (n.d.). Retrieved July 19, 2021, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/homo-consumericus/201001/pornography-beneficial-or-detrimental

Prause, N., & Pfaus, J. (2015). Viewing sexual stimuli associated with greater sexual responsiveness, not erectile dysfunction. Sexual Medicine, 3(2), 90–98. https://doi.org/10.1002/sm2.58

The 8 best sites to watch ethical, fair trade porn. (2017, December 16). The Daily Dot. https://www.dailydot.com/nsfw/guides/porn-ethical-premium/

Wasserman, M. (1996). Positive, powerful pornography. Agenda, 28, 58. https://doi.org/10.2307/4065758

Why criminalizing rape porn is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea. (2014, June 18). The Daily Dot. https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/criminalizing-rape-porn-terrible-idea/

#feminism #sex industry

[heyitsyn]

Nekoma!Manager!Male!Reader

a/n: never written male reader before but this was a funny request and i really do see the irony in this

anon request:  

absolutely LOVED your seijoh hcs! you said you wanted to do the other schools so i thought, how about nekoma but with a MALE manager bc it would be so ironic to have a male god as their manager rather than a goddess that they always talked about!! thank youuuuuuu!!!!!!!

yall the nekoma fanchant is literally stuck in my head

hehe uwu lets step on the pedal

ong jesus take the wheel pls

so basically,,,

being the nekoma manager is a MESS

lets say youre a second year and was only the manager bc you were begged into taking the job

like wouldnt leave you alone and pestered you 25/8, screaming about needing their own god manager

also just because, you are fairly popular and you have your own fanclub of girls in nekoma and they thought it would give them more exposure and more chances w girls :’)

tora was actually the first who came up to you and begged you to be their manager during class one day bc they are in need of one but they arent allowed to have a girl manager so he turned to having a handsome male

‘I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IT HAS TO BE A BOY’

‘so you wont be all over him abd be distracted w showing off’

‘WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION MY SE-’

‘tora, please’

initially, you refused bc you just couldnt be bothered to be part of a club where you basically babysit a bunch of overgrown children

but kenma, your childhood friend, was the team’s last attempt to get you in since kuroo mentioned that he was the only one you listened to

‘kenma, babie, i love you, but i am your friend, not your nanny. so unless i am paid, i will not waste my time taking care of of all of you. especially that chicken head’

‘y/n, yaku is on his last leg here. we really need a manager and we need it fast’

‘you went for years without one so why do you need it?’

‘we’re scared that nekomata would just drop dead any minute now’

‘yanno? im surprised hes even still alive with yall’

‘....... ill show your fangirls that picture of you when we were 5 when-’

‘okay, kenma. rude about the blackmail but okay. dont expect me to be the maid or anything’

nope, you were actually the maid

and the cook

and the nanny

and the laundry person

the everything

it baffles you that kuroo is about to graduate next year yet he still doesnt know the difference between fabric softener and detergent

the amount of times you sent him to pick up more and only to send him back when he ended up buying 2 softeners or 2 detergents

‘they all look the same!’

‘kuroo tetsuro cAN yOu NoT rEAd?!’

ngl i still mix them up sometimes

during matches, youre basically their mother, their nanny, and nekomata’s notetaker, and their personal cheerleader

naoi, the other coach guy, and coach nekomata has adopted you as a son bc of how hard you work and the less the burden is on them

like your notes about their playing percentages really works and helps them and added with the chores you do for the team?

godsend

also, lets put your popularity in here

you dress with a white shirt and zip up your red nekoma jacket with your red sweatpants so you look like one of the players, right?

but how come every time they have practice, youre the only one with the fangirls in the bleachers?

youre literally wearing the same thing as them yet youre the only one who gets looked at?!

even kuroo, who was quite good looking, doesnt have that many girls pining after him yet you, resident anti-tryhard, seems to get the female population to fall for you just by doing the simplest things like breathing

youd be doing normal things like using your whistle as you hold a clipboard and girls would be screeching at you 

‘omg m/n is so hot!’

‘hes just !!!! uuggghhhh’

‘siri how to be a whistle?’

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today

tora complains about it all the time bc first, they cant have a beautiful manager, two, they have a pretty boy who’s taking the attention away

‘SO NOT FAIR! M/N, TURN UGLY!’

you bonk him on the head in anger and threaten to quit all the time

‘say that again and you’ll be filling your own water bottles tomorrow’

but in truth though, the guys really do appreciate you and everything you do

they know that you balance them with your personal life and classes and still make time to do their laundry and make them food

so they have started easing off the burden and weight off of your shoulders

at first, you were very suspicious when they told you that they already filled their water bottles

‘huh? i didnt think you even knew where the water fountain was’

‘wym weve been doing this for years’

-kuroo

then, you heard kuroo tell the others to put their sweaty jerseys in the basket in the corner of the room and for the last person to carry it to the laundromat

‘um, sir, we dont want to have another pink jersey disaster again’

you stopped inuoka from lugging the basket but he shook his head and gave you a wide grin

‘nope, m/n-senpai! i’ll carry it for you! i’m strong, see?’

he flexed his right arm muscle while holding the basket with one hand but it was too heavy so it fell to the ground, spilling out all the practice jerseys

you sighed before bending down to pick them up and babie inuoka’s eyes watered, thinking you were mad at him

‘gomen, senpai’

he whispered but you looked up at him from your position

his watery eyes made you frantically stand up and wipe his tears with the pads of your thumbs

‘inu-kun, why are you crying? you said you were strong right? dont cry over silly things, okay?’

he nodded and you were still confused as to why he was so emotional but you patted his fluffy hair 

‘now cmon, lets go take these to the shop’

unbeknownst to you, the team was actually seething from behind the wall

naturally, as a,,, manager,, you became their,,, energy?? 

like the slightest affections from you made their health bar increase tenfold and they didnt necessarily have any intentions towards you

you were like,,, their own,,,, happy drug?? like a human seratonin??

just the fact that they had someone like you to fall back on and give them love when they lost or something

it was comforting

usually it was just the team’s responsibility to throw away their own sadness and comfort each other

but with you,,,

they could easily cry with no fear and you would comfort them until they didnt need to be comforted anymore

eventually, they ended up straight out competing against each other on who would get the most affection

clearly, inuoka used his first year card and everyone knew you were soft for your kouhais

like you would just grab them and hug them because of how cute they were

uwu especially lev?! 

he may be a giant but hes just a really REALLY REALLY BIG CAT

;)

LEV LIVES TO HUG YOU

like the mans is beanstalk level of height and despite the age difference, he just picks you up and cuddles you and youre just like ‘okay, let it out babie’

DKSFJSLD ANYWAYS

you are always a hot topic w all the students in nekoma and even some in other schools

like during training camp, bro you making everyone question their sexuality

omg akaashi and you are probably the prettiest people there and can i just say how everyone cant focus on a practice match bc youd be laughing together or something and they havent heard anything so beautiful??

and the kitties get really defensive over you and hiss at anyone who even tries to approach you

hiss hiss

DKJFSLKDFJDWHAT IF EVERYONE IN THE TEAM IS BI

OMG WHAT

like the little touches from you make them so red and confident gays like kuroo and bokuto call you out on them and tease you 

while the quiet ones like akaashi and kenma are just blushing and stutter and you tease them instead?

*inhale* BOI *exhale*

the uke and seme dynamic is real on this one

however, there are times when the turned tables

there was that one day that you were seriously questioning if bokuto wore leggings or just really high knee pads and you cornered him after baths to just figure it out

like our poor confident boi turned to a shy babie and shrunk against the wall, covering his red face

‘y-y/n-kun’

‘bo-san, i just want to know’

DKFSJLKDFJFJSDKIM DYING OVER HERE LIKE PLEASE I DONT OWN Y/N

after seeing the smidge of skin at the top of the kneepad, you nodded and brushed your fingertips over the flesh

‘hmm~ so i was right~’

FROM THEN ON POOR BABIE OWL COULDNT LOOK AT YOU THE SAME!!!!!!

it worried everyone so much when bokuto would glance at you in the sidelines and he would competely miss akaashi’s set bc his eyes would focus on you rather than the ball

like he absolutely couldnt take his eyes off of you and when you do turn to meet his eyes, he shrinks back and looks away, completely missing your amused smirk

now, your kitties werent happy about that

theyre very protective of you and they felt that this owl could snatch you right up and fly away

and kuroo, being the captain and the head of the familia, took it upon himself and dragged you to the back of the gym while the others were practicing

kurat pushed you against the wall and basically kabedonned you

KUROO IS LIKE 6′2 OR 190 CM I CANT

‘you seem close with bokuto, l/n. almost, too,, close’

an amused smirk etched itself on your lips and you pressed a hand on his chest

‘oya~? captain-san, am i being punished?’

SFDKLFSJKLDFJL SIR Y/N IS SUPPOSED TO RADIATE SEME ENERGY BUT HE ISNT AND I CANNOT-

ofc he was taken aback by your flirty attitude but he smirked and softly brushed away your bangs that slightly covered your eyes

‘hmm~~ depends, y/n-kun. are you going to be a good kitty and stay with the clowder? or are you going to stay with those pesky chickens~?’

DKFLSJDKFJSL BRO DID YOU KNOW A GROUP OF CATS IS CALLED A CLOWDER?! I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT BUT I HAVE A FEELING KUROO WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT BC HE BIG BRAIN

you chuckled and gently wrapped your arms around his shoulders

but your hand grabbed the hair at the back of his head and harshly pulled him to be closer to you

your eyes blinked innocently but your sharp teeth were shown from your malicious grin

‘ive always been a bad kitty, captain. so i dont care what you say because you cant tell me what to do~’

👀👀👀👀

imagine what happens next bc i cant write something unholy

anyways

so you learned that tetsu CAN in fact tell you what to do and you avoided everyone else which caused them to wonder but one look at your neck

well,,,,,

you got attacked by a cat 

a cat named tetsu

SKDFLJSDKFJSLKUROO IS THE ONLY SEME YOU CLASH WITH

THE OTHERS ARE ALL UKE

EVEN BEEFY BUFF CAKE BOI BO

but you toned it down to not be attacked again

ngl the whole team was all jealous and they even whined to kuroo about it

‘thats not fair!!!!’

‘stop abusing your role as captain!!!!’

they hated the fact that kuroo got you first so they all rally over to keep you away from him

like baby kenma would nudge you over and bring him to sit next to you, saying he needs you to help him with a certain level

‘kenny, im not sure how to play this game’

‘hmm,,,, youre a quick learner, y/n, and youre really quick with your fingers so you could pass to the next level’

*insert lenny face*

‘oya? and you would know how, kenny?’

and baby kenny would fluster a little before glomping to your side and burying his face into your shoulder to hide away

OR

the first years would absolutely use their kouhai priviledges and bring you over to help them with ‘homework’

‘you guys realize i passed because kuroo would beat me into studying right?’

‘but senpai! you mustve learned a thing or two in your classes!’

‘bold of you to assume i was even awake in my classes’

but they still make you spend hours trying to help them which turn into just messing around 

KSDLFJSDKFJD MOVIE NIGHTS YOU GUYS THATS IT!!

there isnt really a single calm moment in your guys’ practice

poor you have already started seeing lot of gray hairs

you literally decline every single confession just because youre too busy for a date and you cant handle having to take care of another person

its like youre dating the whole team!!

soon the entire school have just accepted the fact that you are just simply not in the market anymore just because you joined the club

not because youre actually taken by a girlfriend but youre taken by a bunch of teenage males

imagine how that works out

anyways

youre not really the best volleyball player out there but you know a thing or two

well,,, its more like your stamina doesnt allow you to play long bc a single lap literally destroys your lungs

but you still know when yaku complains about having a shaky receive

‘oh, momo-senpai, youre bending your knees too low so gravity is pushing down on your-’

ugh chemistry i hate it

despite your lack of athletic or physical skills, they still appreciate you for your keen eyes, your caring nature, and your overall looks that give them motivation to play harder to impress you personality :)

all the boys love you

and tbh

you love your boys too

even though it was a blackmail caused event,

you still would’ve joined otherwise

this is kinda short but its going to be longer if i find some plots or somebody asks for a plotline that i can write about for a long time

anyways

byeeeee :)))))

a/n: this isnt exactly the best manager one ive written but ill probably find a good prompt for this or again as stated ^^ someone sends in an ask for it and ill write a story for our favorite male manager :’D

#haikyuu #haikyu!! #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! headcanons #nekoma #nekoma x reader #nekoma imagines #nekoma scenarios #nekoma manager #nekoma headcanons #haikyuu manager #haikyuu!! manager #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu!! fluff #nekoma fluff #haikyuu male #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu!! male #haikyuu!! x male reader #nekoma male manager #nekoma male #haikyuu male manager #haikyuu!! male manager #haikyuu male reader #haikyuu!! male reader

[bokutosbiceps]

Some Kengan Ashura here! I'm curious to see how you think Raian would display affection lol. Like the really subtle things that no-one picks up on, or like his S/O is sick or injured and he does something actually nice and they're all like O-o. I know how much you love Raian so I thought I'd indulge you lol. Scenario or head-cannon, let your imagination decide! (Sorry if I'm a little late to this lol. I'm new as well to the whole ask thing I hope I'm doing it right XD)

honestly, i’ve been waiting my entire life to get this request. everything i’ve written up till now has prepared me for this v moment. I HOPE YOU ENJOY BECAUSE I WILL

kure raian

raian is not a very affectionate man, he is able to show affection but he doesn’t do it very often

if you kinda get fed up with his cold nature + explode on him about it, he’d kinda feel a teeny tiny bit guilty

he wouldn’t TRY to change, but he’d ADJUST so that you didn’t bother him anymore (so that you were happy)

he’ll do things behind the world’s back because he’S GOT A REPUTATION PEOPLE CAN’T BE UP IN HERE THINKING THAT HE’S A SOFT BOY

like if you fall asleep on the couch without a blanket or smth, he’ll either cover you with a blanket + kinda position himself behind you so that he’s your pillow or he’ll carry you to the bed so that you don’t wake up with the back of a one hundred year old 

if he notices that there’s a certain kinda food or bev that you like, he’ll go out of his way to stock the house/apartment up with it so that you never run out

if you ever ask him if he did this, he’ll just say that it’s actually HIS favorite food + tell you to get off his dick

he will be around you a l l t h e t i m e when you’re sick or feeling down

he is able to pick up on little shifts in your mood or health—he’s just got that sixth sense—so he always knows what’s going on

the main way he shows affection, though, is by bugging the fucking shit out of you

he will constantly be tugging on your ear, slapping your ass, dead-legging you, ruffling your hair, pinching your arms/thighs, calling you names (not too mean, but just a lil rude), getting in your way when you’re trying to do something

honestly, he’s kinda like a cat—he will lay on your hands when you’re typing on your laptop (lol not really but could you imagine)

it is his life’s purpose to bother the shit out of you

other times, though, he can be serious and act like an actual BoyfriendTM/HusbandTM when he needs to be

if something is pissing you off, he’ll annoy you until you tell him what’s up then he’ll spend the rest of the day trying to find the person that ticked you off + making their life a living hell

if you need someone to talk to, he will actually listen to what you have to say—he will try to give advice but you both know he gives real shitty advice so it ends up making you feel better just listening to his bullshit

he’s very physical, so when he’s affectionate he does actually like to rest his head on the top of yours or on your shoulder + wrap his arms around you waist

other times, he will put all of his dead weight on you just to make you squirm + he WILL enjoy when start to try + push him off

end result: you end up staying wherever you are until he decides to get off of you because that man is 206 lbs of pure muscle

god i wish he could drop all 206 lbs of himself on me, i’d never try to leave

when he’s away for a mission, he’ll text you at least once a day, asking how you’re doing or if you’re okay

maybe, if you’re lucky, he’ll even call wow

honestly, that’s all i have for now, but i could probably think of some more later lol. i love this man

#kengan ashura #kengan omega #kure raian #raian kure

[wtfevenismypage]

Observer Not Profiler PT.3

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!reader

Summary: You’re similar to a profiler, but you can tell almost anything about a person just from a single glance. What they had for dinner, if they took a bath or shower, their name, favorite color, if they lie, even if they’re good in bed. You’ve been running from the government ever since you got caught hacking into their systems and since then you have been diagnosed with Extreme anxiety, anxious tics, and paranoia. But now the BAU need you’re help in Identifying killers.

Warnings: maybe a curse word or two, mentions of death, anxious/nervous ticking, tic attacks

A/N: Hey all! Here’s part 3! Remember that requests are open! So is the taglist, however I may be closing the taglist in a few weeks! thank you for reading!

You never knew you were scared of being on private jets until Dr. Spencer Reid rolled along.

“Statistically, Private jets crash more so than commercial planes do. The rate is commonly expressed as the number of accidents per 100,000 flight hours. The accident and fatal-accident rates declined again in 2015. In fact, the fatal-accident rate fell below one to 0.84, meaning there was less than one fatal crash per 100,000 flight hours.”

You think he was trying to make you feel better, but it only made you even more terrified.

“I would like to join the Bureau!”

Emily smiles happily, she knew that getting to know you would be a blast, and your people reading skills would come in major handy.

“That’s wonderful!”

Garcia yells out before wrapping her arms around you, it makes you freeze at first, but the hesitation wears off and you hug her back before shaking hands with everyone else.

When you shake Dr. Reid’s hand, you linger for a second, barely a second, before shaking hands with Hotch.

“This is going to be difficult, you’ll need training.”

You nod, shaking his calloused hand firmly.

“Of course sir, I’m willing to go through all of the training in the world for this.”

He smiles, but barely, only noticeable if you were looking (which you are) and you feel ecstatic at the small gesture. 

“Well, we have a jet to catch, so let’s hurry up. wheel’s up in thirty.”

The first few weeks of training were intense, you were physically trained by Morgan, he got you into shape and gifted you with a subtle six pack that you could see if you squinted hard enough. 

Hotch trained you to handle a gun, which you kind of sucked at. Every time you shot it, you jumped five feet in the air and had a mini panic attack, which Hotch had to help you out with.

Emily, Rossi, and JJ made you into a pretty damn good interrogator, which made you smile every time they complimented you.

You were shocked when you learned that you actually did need lessons in profiling, you needed to learn certain behaviors at crime scenes when you couldn’t see the unsub. Reid helped you in that regard. He also told you all sorts of fun facts, which you happily listened to, you loved learning new things and you would even insist upon hearing the facts sometimes.

You and Penelope had races against each other to see who could get into what faster, so far you two were tied.

Today is the day though, your first day as an official member of the team. Surprisingly, you still couldn’t say the word profiler without spiraling, and you’ve been having anxious tic attacks all night and all morning.

As you walk into the doors to the big office in the early early morning, your wrists slam together twice, making you wince and rub them, feeling the bruises from last night scream in rage.

“I’ve gotta learn to stop that...”

You realize you’re the first in the office, so you just take a quick seat to try and ground yourself, but it instead spirals into a tic attack as you take in what’s finally happening after all of these long and torturous years. 

“Y/L/N. You alright?”

You turn to the cold voice, seeing Hotch standing at the top of the stairs. You thought you were alone, you hoped you were, but if anyone was going to be at the office, you weren’t surprised it was Hotch.

“Oh, sorry sir, I’m just having first day nerves! I feel like I’m back in middle school...”

He flashes you an understanding half-smile, walking up to you and patting your shoulder.

“Don’t worry too much, everyone here is already obsessed with you, you’ll fit right in.”

You smile, trying to act like you were okay,but when your fist harshly collides with the side of your head, you sigh and clutch the now bruised spot.

“Well, the others should be here soon, your desk is right there, next to Reid’s.”

You couldn’t stop the pink heat that bum-rushed it’s way onto your cheeks, trying to avoid Hotch seeing by moving to your new desk an sitting down, subconsciously clapping your palm against the desk.

“Wowie. I’m all official and everything huh?”

You smirk before the door clicks open, people beginning to enter the once-empty office space and making your nerves go through the roof once again.

That is, until Derek and Reid walk in with Garcia chatting about something random with Emily laughing at her.

“Hey Y/L/N! How’s the day so far?”

Derek asks, sitting on your desk. You immediately swat him off with a fake pout painted across your lips.

“Hey, I just got this space, I’ll be d-damned if I let some-some sweaty man sit on it.”

They didn’t miss your nervous stuttering, but in the short time the team had known you, they knew you hated when your tics were the center of attention, so they simply gave sad smiles and moved on.

“We have a new case, Y/L/N, I’ll give you a moment to adjust, round table in ten.”

Hotch walks away, back to his office before Garcia plops down on your desk. Derek notices how you don’t shoo her off and throws a whole fit.

“So you kick me off but not Penelope?”

“Is Garcia a-a sweaty m-man? I don-don’t think so!”

You all laugh before they sit down, Reid sitting next to you and logging into his computer before setting his stuff down.

“You ready for your first case?”

Reid asks, you shrug in response, a nervous smile plastered on your face.

“I g-guess we’ll find-find out.”

Your wrists slam together again, making you hiss in pain a bit, Reid looks concerned and takes one of your wrists in his hand, gently brushing one of his long, slender fingers over your bruised nerves.

“Well a better question, are these going to heal correctly?”

He asked with a sudden seriousness that you didn’t particularly enjoy. 

“Well I don’t know Mr. Genius, why don’t you tell me?”

He looks up at your sarcastic words and smiles a bit, cheeks being brushed with a bit of red as he answers.

“Well they won’t heal properly with your tics, if anything they could get worse, the veins in your wrists will actually get really damaged and it could affect your entire nervous system, you might want to get it-”

“Spencer, as much as I love listening to your rants, and I do, I don’t love listening to the ones about my health being in danger.”

He smiles and discontinues the topic, letting you take your wrists out of his gentle grip and returning to your computer.

“Alright everyone, let’s get to the round table.”

-

-

-

-

-

Throughout the entire case, you stick close with Reid, he made you feel safer than the others somehow. He didn’t say anything about you being with him the entire time, he just accepted the helpful points you gave him. 

One night, you two were up all night trying to find a connection, laying out on top of a desk, listening to Mozart (he insisted) and trying to make a connection between the victims.

You had gotten so excited when you finally made a connection you started jumping up and down with Spencer, holding his hands happily as he joined your silly theatrics.

He seemed to be the only person that can relax your anxiety, even just standing around him helped slow your tics. You didn’t know why he relaxed you, he just did. 

On the jet back to the BAU, the two of you shared earbuds to listen to classical music, you had left your headphones back in Oregon so Spencer offered his left earbud.

Even back at the offices when you were working with Penelope, he brought you green tea, telling you it would still keep you awake but it wouldn’t make you as jittery or paranoid as coffee would.

As soon as he left, Garcia started looking at you weird, giving you googly eyes.

“What?”

“You like him don’t you!?”

Your jaw drops, eyebrows furrowing down, your cheeks get all rosy. No way! You didn’t like him like that, you just enjoyed his company.

“No I don’t! You’re finally going crazy huh?”

“You totally do! You’re getting all blushy and everything!”

“I don’t like him like that! I’ve never liked anyone like that, why would it start now huh? It wouldn’t. I don’t like him.”

She gives you a doubtful look, but drops it, letting you spin around to another computer while sipping on your freshly hot green tea.

The next day, you take the elevator up with Spencer, Derek, and JJ, JJ and Derek were talking about some show, while you listened to Spencer ramble about how unrealistic the show was.

“But Spencer, Dr. Who isn’t very realistic, but you still love it don’t you?”

“Well yeah, but I’m immediately biased to Dr. Who for my love of it, with any other movie or show, I don’t hesitate to point out faults.”

You chuckle at that, Spencer’s passion for Dr. Who was unmatched for anyone else’s love for any show. It’s insane. 

“Okay before pretty boy goes on about Dr. Who for hours, let’s escape.”

The doors open, allowing you and the other team members to walk in. Your desk was still fairly empty, not even a plant there to accompany your computer, you were still holding onto your runaway life, whether you admit it or not.

“Y/L/N, I need to talk to you. My office now.”

“What was that about?”

Panic bubbles to your chest, Hotch’s tone was too assertive, too aggresive. It was scary.

“I don’t know...”

Taglist: 

@imsuperawkward @ithinkilovetruecrimetoomuch @l0ve-0f-my-life @hopebaker @thatonezesty13 @nightlygiggless @aberrant-annie @holybatflapexpert @spencerreidisbootiful @april-14-blog @jackryan-plz @ajwantsapancake @lightswriting @emilouu @yourmisosoup @lizziebritish @101donuts @rainsong01 @pretty-boy-genius @squirrellover1967 @gublerstyles @delievia @boxofsparklingmuses @annestine 

#criminal minds #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fic #spencer reid #dr. spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fan fiction #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid imagine #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #penelope garcia x reader #penelope garcia #derek morgan x reader #derek morgan #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss #david rossi #david rossi x reader #jennifer jareau #jennifer jareau x reader #luke alvez #luke alves x reader

[valerzya]

𝖛𝖆𝖑𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖞𝖆 𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖐𝖔𝖛 𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 . . .

( irina shayk. cis woman. she/her. the question & mac miller. ) have you seen VALERIYA LENKOV strolling around central park at lunchtime? rumor has it they’re actually THIRTY-FIVE years old, but i’m pretty sure they’re only THIRTY. they’re currently posing as a SCREENPLAY WRITER, but when dusk falls, you can usually find them heading home to MANHATTAN by CAR SERVICE. apparently they DID attend the met gala this season! 

hello, all ! i’m lauryn, 21, my pronouns are she/her, and i currently reside within the cst timezone. i’ve been tumblr rping on and off for about 8 years now, and this is my first time playing valeriya. here’s is my second muse of this rp, valeriya lenkov ! her about is listed here, her statistics are listed here, and her plotting page is listed here. if you’d like to claim any of the plots on that page or do some other plotting, shoot me a message ! i prefer discord, but i’m open to messaging on tumblr. my discord is limes#6826. i look forward to writing with everyone !

TW: CHRONIC ILLNESS, DEPRESSION, MURDER

born in a rural mining town located in russia to a coal miner and a home birth midwife, valeriya nikolayevna lenkov had a relatively average upbringing. as an only child, she received a generous amount of attention from her parents. when they were not working, they were home with their daughter. valeriya was a frail child who often grew sick, though she received a lot of attention from locals who referred to her as the most beautiful child in town. her parents dreamed of whisking her away to the united states, where they could hopefully get a diagnosis for her illness. sponsored by valeriya’s aunt in manhattan, the family prepared to make the jump by spending their free time practicing their english and setting up employment for valeriya’s father at his sister’s husband’s work.

upon arriving in manhattan, valeriya, now seven, and her family lived with her aunt and her husband for nearly a year. valeriya’s mother had found work as a seamstress while her father migrated from food preparation to a construction job, which finally earned the family some health benefits. with that in place and with the recommendation of a specialist, valeriya was put through a series of medical examinations. after numerous pokes and prods and a scan or two, no affliction had been identified. it had become an assumption that valeriya’s susceptibility to sickness was due to a compromised immune system, though nothing was ever confirmed.

life in manhattan differed greatly from valeriya’s upbringing. she had gone from the quiet, desolate roads to a bustling city crowded with rats and bodies. school had been rough on valeriya for the first couple years; her english was far from perfect and she would go through periods of illness that made her truant. she was lucky to not have to repeat any grades, though it came close. her parents’ work schedules had become more hectic since the move, with her father being on call and her mother working full time at odd hours, so it was often left to her aunt to look after her.

middle school and high school proved to be far more tolerable for valeriya. english was no longer a concern of hers after years of schooling, and she received ample attention for her good looks and compassionate nature. valeriya was considered popular amongst her peers despite her occasional disappearance from school for a week or so at a time. her friends doted on her, filling the void that her mostly absent parents had left; they would often visit her with comfort foods and gifts when she was sick.

in her sophomore year of high school, valeriya met a boy that she would deem to be her first love. she fell head over heels for the boy, and he returned her affections. it wasn’t long until valeriya began to exhibit obsessive behaviors though, resulting in their split. valeriya was heartbroken and looked for any distraction to fill her time. she landed on cinema, specifically horror cinema. valeriya expressed an interest in writing her own horror flicks, finding some sort of direction that she had previously lacked. upon graduating high school, valeriya grew seriously ill. her fever refused to break, and she was forced to spend all of her time at home. when she felt well enough, she would fill the silence with the scribbling of her pencil.

after a month, valeriya finally recovered and began taking community college courses on film and screenwriting. she had no intent to seek a degree, having struggled enough already with schooling. her intention was simply to educate herself on how to adapt her stories into screenplays and potentially make a career out of it. in the meantime, she took a job as a waitress at a local cafe. they were understanding in regards to her illness and gave her shifts sparingly, but it was enough to purchase the things that she desired. valeriya grew to be a cynical young adult with bouts of depression. her heartbreak weighed heavy on her, even after years, and her illnesses brought on feelings of hopelessness.

with three completed screenplays in the hands of the twenty-five year old, valeriya sought out the support of an agent. after four failed attempts, someone finally took an interest in her material. by age twenty-seven, valeriya had sold her first script through a production company. it was set to be developed as a direct-to-dvd movie, and valeriya made a killing from it. finally able to move out of her parents’ manhattan apartment into her own one-bedroom apartment, valeriya felt a dash of hope. however, after a couple years of letdowns and rejection, her hope dwindled once again. valeriya grew resentful toward the world, cursing it for the ways it had failed her. her once compassionate spirit had disappeared, replaced with a bitter, pessimistic nature.

at the age of thirty, valeriya met a strange person ( vampire ) who piqued her interest. she was hypnotized by this being and spent a large portion of her time at their side. they were strong and capable, something that she envied. often expressing her envy for these traits, the being took it upon themselves to make valeriya more like them. she was changed into a vampire and for the first time in her lifetime, she radiated with strength and resiliency. her life had been taken from her, but it was almost as though it was just beginning.

finding inspiration to write again, with her mind firing on all cylinders, valeriya produced three more screenplays within a year. miraculously, two out of three sold with both generating a six figure price point. she spent the rest of her time absorbing what was now her life. her thirst for blood empowered her, and she felt superior to the weak humans she fed on. she would familiarize herself with those she fed on before she took their life, viewing feeding as a sport. valeriya had become childish, reckless, and manipulative. she only saw others for what she could gain from them. though she acted a fool, she was intelligent and perceptive. as the years passed, she sold two more screenplays, gaining notoriety within that world. valeriya finally feels as though she’s unstoppable, and she won’t let anything or anyone get in her way.

TLDR ; valeriya was a sickly child who immigrated from russia to manhattan when she was seven. due to what was likely a compromised immune system, she often fell ill. in high school, she suffered a heartbreak that led her to start creating horror screenplays. after selling one, she hit a low point after many more rejections and bouts of illness. she became bitter and resentful toward the world until she was changed into a vampire. now powerful and free from sickness, valeriya revels in her new life. she enjoys feeding on unsuspecting humans, and has even gained more notoriety as a screenplay writer.

important information about her personality can be found in her “about” section linked above.

@duskintro​

#dusk:intro #tldr at the end because this got stupid long #sry for any mistakes ! #i proofread but u never know