Okay idk how you're Supposed to write slowburns but I am writing it like I'm a squirrel stockpiling scenes for the coming winter when I haven't even finished stocking for fucking autumn yet I'm gonna STARVE with NO ACORNS I am going to DIE
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There's nothing more self-inserting in this fandom than the people who actually hate Rhaegar Targaryen (and sometimes by extension Lyanna and Daenerys and other Targaryens).
But with Rhaegar it's very peculiar. With either Rhaegar positive or neutral fans, you can discuss things like connections he has with characters in actual canon, by actually canon references, that give him some depth whatsoever in turn. Love RxL shippers with all the actually newer clues highlighted compared to your typical "Jon's parentage" checklists because it gives more character interiority. Love the Jon and Dany fans who've given more attention to the connections clearly drawn on purpose by the author that are also doing that.
But people who outright hate this tertiary character? The emotionally driven rants as if this man was their own boyfriend or father and wronged them specifically and that's all the focus of it? Only ever writing in "depth" about him in scenarios that are clearly made up and can only be explained as projection from some baggage none of us trying to read some book are interested in? Very odd behaviour.
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Another reason that Stansas hate the idea of Arya and Dany being friends (outside of them wanting to demonize Dany) is that they've convinced themselves that Dany and Sansa are the only main female characters, so if a Stark sister is going to have a significant relationship with Dany it has to be Sansa. Arya being constantly downplayed and treated like an accessory to Sansa has generally led to the consensus that her relationship with Dany will be defined by whatever Sansa's relationship (positive or negative) with her is. That's why Arya is always being left out of the "we were robbed of [x] female character friendship" conversations and why theories about Dany/Arya getting along are treated as Sansa hate; Arya, as a character, is seen as secondary to Sansa by a lot of people
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