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poopwons · 4 months

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**Break My Heart**-Ft. Jean Kirstein 18+ MDNI!!

Synopsis: You and Jean break up, he doesn't know what to do with himself. Maybe you'll call him? (surprise, you will)

Content: (NSFW), F!Reader, Jean’s POV, post break up feelings, angst, cursing, depressed Jean, pet names, handjobs, fingering, praise kink, Jean has a teensy bit of a size kink, collaring (if you squint), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, people), cream pie, hair pulling, light alcohol consumption

a/n: I have never written anything this long before, but I got the idea in my head and it would not get out so, here it is. I was literally driving home from work listening to Olivia Rodrigo and Happier came on, so that's what inspired this 🥰 Huge shoutouts to @jeanboyjean and @cowgirlikets for encouraging me through this entire process!💜💜💜 ***also I know absolutely nothing about plumbing, so sorry if all of that is completely inaccurate LOL***

words: 6.9k

Two months, four days.

That’s how long it’s been. That’s the last time Jean saw you in person, talked to you at all. Sure, he’s wanted to reach out, he’s gotten drunk a few times and Connie had to wrench his phone out of his hands when he saw your name on the screen. Jean had yelled at him, tried to push him off, but Connie ended up with the phone, locking it away before helping Jean to bed. All in all Connie was looking out for him more than anyone else. That’s what good roommates are for, right?

Though, Jean is sure that Connie never expected to ever see his friend like this. Hell, Jean never thought he’d be this way; he never even thought of the possibility of the two of you splitting at all. The first week after you told him you didn’t want to keep seeing him, he stayed in bed, blaring awful sad songs, just wallowing in his own self pity. He supposes he still is, even months later.

The days without you have slowed to a crawl. He still thinks about you all the time, it takes all his will power not to scroll through your instagram, wondering if you’re thriving without him, or if you’re just as fucked up as he is. He doesn’t want to know, he’s not that desperate yet. Still, thoughts of you plagued him every moment it seemed like. Who does he make breakfast for now? Making a single serving for himself just seems.. pathetic, pointless, in comparison to making something for you.

The two of you had a great routine, his favorite, he thinks. You’d wake up, curled in his arms, peppering little kisses to his face, trying to wake him up. He’d groan at you before running his hands to your sides to tickle you, calling you a menace for disturbing a man’s sleep. The little giggles he’d pull from you were his favorite sound, he’d never heard anything better. Then he’d get up, make coffee and breakfast for the two of you while you showered. Sometimes he’d say fuck the breakfast and shower with you instead. Hot water cascading down the two of you, the smell of your shampoo in his nose as he kissed the back of your neck while washing your hair. Fuck. He needs to stop. Think about anything else, he curses himself, his brain can’t keep doing this to him, can it?

But, turns out, it can. Who makes your tea the way you like it, muddled with honey and a splash of cream? Who else knows that you only want earl grey when it’s raining because that’s what your mom would give you when you came inside from splashing around in puddles when you were little? That you want chamomile when you’re sick, and coffee most mornings, unless you’re anxious, then you want English breakfast. Who knows the way you order your meals from your favorite restaurants? That you don’t like water chestnuts because “they’re too crunchy without enough flavor”, or that you hate fast food lettuce but will completely devour the caesar salad from the diner downtown because you say the lettuce is always “the perfect amount of crisp and never soggy”? What does he do with all this little information that he’s learned about you, that’s now completely useless to him since you’re not here?

Connie managed to drag Jean out to go have lunch with him and Sasha the next day. It’s the first time he’s been out in weeks for something other than work. He’s dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, the most he can manage with how exhausted he’s been. The little chain that you picked out for him draped across his collarbones. He likes that memory. You dragged him into a jewelry store, showing him the necklace, saying something about how you thought it’d look good on him. He was never much of a jewelry person, but for you? He agreed, but only if you’d get a matching bracelet, and you did. You said it was your favorite, you loved it so much, and it went on like that, the two of you, in your matching pieces, wearing them everyday…

“Jean,” Connie breaks him out of his thoughts, he wonders if he could tell that he was thinking about you again.

“What,” his tone is flat, nothing like his usual light hearted one.

“Dude, don’t you think you should take that off?”

Jean looks down at his chain, then back at Connie, a frown plastered on his face.

“No, I don’t want to take it off.”

“Look, man, I know you’re still upset, but.. doesn’t that make it worse?”

Jean can’t stand the look of pity he’s getting, he shrugs and doesn’t reply. Take it off? And then what, get rid of it? No. No, he can’t get rid of it, you got it for him. It would be like throwing you away.. and he’s just not ready to do that, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be.

Sasha kicks Connie under the table, the two of them had clearly talked about how to handle today and it seems like Connie is going off script. Jean can’t take it anymore, he can’t stand the way his friends are looking at him, he wants to look anywhere else. So, he does what he’s been trying to avoid. He pulls out his phone, opening up your instagram. You haven’t posted in a while, but there is one new picture. Jean’s heart lurches into his throat when he sees it. Who is that? Why is he with you? He’s never seen this guy before and he doesn’t like it, right down to his stupid green eyes, that idiotic man bun, and that shit-eating smile plastered on his face, like he’s mocking Jean without even trying. The picture is innocent enough, a selfie with his arm around you. But why is he touching you? Why are you letting him? Did you really move on this fast? Did you forget about Jean already? Is this the real reason you ended things with him, for this other guy?

He hears a faint grunt from across the table, then Sasha is talking to him, he hardly hears it, the blood is rushing in his ears. Connie snatches his phone from his hand, Jean can’t even find the energy to snap at him. Connie groans when he sees the screen.

“Shit, man… I was hoping you wouldn’t see that.” Connie practically winces when he meets Jean’s eyes, tears welling up in them. His voice breaks when he finally speaks up.

“Who is that with her?” He sounds like the world has been ripped from him.

Sasha speaks up from her side of the table, having seen the post as well. “I don’t know.. maybe they’re just friends. Don’t overthink it, it’ll be okay.”

He sends a pitiful look her way, it most definitely would not be okay. He takes his phone back from Connie, rising from the table, hell bent on getting back home. His brain is going a mile a minute thinking about you and.. whoever that was.

Two months, fifteen days.

He stays in his room all week. Barely leaving, laid up in bed scrolling through your entire instagram. All the pictures of you and him are gone. He can’t believe you got rid of them, did you delete them off your phone entirely? Were all those pictures slowly being replaced by new ones with this guy? He hates the thought of this stranger taking up camera space that should be his. He knows he shouldn’t.. looking through this idiot’s instagram isn’t going to make him feel any better, but he has to know why you chose him instead.

He swipes through this guy’s pictures, he’s even got a stupid name. Who spells their kids' name Eren? There aren’t a ton of posts, but the few that Jean does see has him rolling his eyes, gym selfies and photos of him playing a guitar, his long hair flowing down his shoulders. Great, so he’s ripped and talented. Jean’s not out of shape by any means, but he isn’t as cut as that, especially since he’s been skipping the gym the past couple of months, unable to find the energy to go, and he definitely can’t play any instruments. Maybe he should learn, would that impress you enough to finally reach out to him? No, that would take way too long, he wants to hear from you so much sooner than that. Maybe he can start growing his hair out.. would you like that? You never complained about his hair before but, this whole thing has thrown him for a loop. He’s questioning everything about himself wondering what Eren has that he doesn’t. Maybe Eren’s better in bed? No, that can’t be it. You never once complained about Jean’s performance, all those pretty sounds you made when he touched and kissed and sucked at all the right spots. No, he definitely knew what he was doing in that department. So, that can’t be it, which almost makes it worse. That must mean Jean failed you in some other way as a partner. Was he not attentive enough, not supportive enough? Did he not make enough time for you? Maybe he should have tried to plan more dates. The thoughts go on and on like this until he finally falls into a fitful sleep, what little dreams he has are plagued with you laughing at Eren’s stupid jokes, of you being happier with Eren than you ever were with him.

Jean is sitting up on the sofa in the living room, Connie had begged him to at least come out of his room so he knows the poor guy’s still alive. Jean is scrolling through yours and Eren’s pages, checking yet again for any more posts.

“Dude, seriously? Are you looking at that guy’s page again?” Connie asks, as he sits down on the couch with a bowl of cereal.

Jean gives him a noncommittal grunt, before shoving his phone in Connie’s face. “I mean, what does she even see in him? He’s not that good looking and he has stupid hair. He probably can’t even play that guitar.”

Connie gives him a sympathetic look, he knows it can’t be easy for Jean to see you with someone else, but it’s been almost three months since you two split. All the same, he’s Jean’s friend, he can’t always tell him what he wants to hear, right? He sets his bowl down with a sigh, bracing himself for what he’s about to say.

“Come on, man. He looks like a decent enough guy. I know this is hard for you, but don��t you want her to be happy?”

“She’s supposed to be happy with me! Me, not this fucker with a guitar, who’s side are you on, anyway?”

“I’m on your side, you know that, but this is nuts, she’s just a chick. You’ve been hung up for almost three months. You need to get back to the shit you used to do. When was the last time you even went to the gym? That used to be so important to you. You should go back, get some endorphins going, that would make you feel better.”

Jean huffs, Connie just doesn’t get it. He gets up off the couch and walks over to the entryway, pushing his shoes on. “She’s not just some chick, dude.” He spits the words out before walking out the door. Maybe a walk would clear his head. He knew in some regards, Connie was right, he hasn’t been taking the best care of himself lately, but his “just a chick” comment has Jean seeing red and he can’t focus on any of the other rational things Connie’s said.

He walks and walks until it gets dark outside, when he finally gets home he scarfs down a protein bar and flops down in bed. Closing his eyes and drifting off relatively quickly, worn out from the walk, maybe he should go back to the gym, he thinks, if a walk has worn him out so much. He doesn’t know how long he sleeps for, but the buzzing from his night table lulls him out of sleep. Bleary eyed and groggy, he picks up the phone staring at the screen. He must be seeing things. Or he’s still asleep and this is a dream. He sits up abruptly, rubbing his eyes, looking at the screen again. Sure enough, it’s your name that’s up on the screen, the phone is still buzzing in his hand as he stares at the caller id. It finally hits him that if he doesn’t answer it’ll go to voicemail and you might not call back. He fumbles to swipe his finger over the answer key, almost dropping his phone in the process.

“Hello?” Jean tries to make his voice sound calm and not rushed, despite the fact that his heart is practically beating out of his chest over something as simple as a phone call, at the prospect of actually hearing your voice for the first time in months.

“Hey, uh, it’s me. Well, duh, you probably know that.” Your voice sounds just as angelic as he remembers and part of him thinks he might cry right on the spot. “um, listen, I didn’t know who else to call, I-I know it’s late.”

“No, no, I’m uh, I’m awake. Wha-what’s up?” He hates how nervous he sounds, but he can’t help it, even his hands are shaking.

“Can you come over? There’s like, a leak in my apartment, and the office is closed, I just don’t want to lose my deposit. I’m sure they’ll find some way to blame it on me and not their shitty plumbing. I mean.. Obviously, if you’re busy, it’s okay, I can figure something else out.”

So, you’re calling him to come help you, not Eren, interesting. Jean feels over the moon, maybe Eren isn’t all he’s cracked up to be after all.

“No, I’m not busy, it’s fine. I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Just try to soak up all the water you can.” Jean says as he scrambles off his bed, going to the bathroom to check his hair in the mirror, smoothing some parts that got ruffled in his sleep. He looks at his shirt, cursing silently that he’s still wearing this sweaty t-shirt. He puts you on speaker and quickly pulls the fabric off, throwing it in the hamper.

“Thank you so much, you’re really doing me a huge favor.”

He pulls a fresh shirt over his head, the shirt getting caught in his frantic movements causing him to have to talk louder than normal, so you can hear him over the muffle of the fabric, “yeah, it’s no problem, I’ll be there soon.” He’d do you a million favors if it meant he got to see you. You hang up and he slips on his shoes, rushing out the door to get to your place with his tools.

Jean’s heart is hammering out of his chest the whole drive to your place, it feels like his body is vibrating with anxiety. He’s practically white knuckling his steering wheel, his brain just going and going. He finally gets to see you, he’ll get to see you. He hopes you’re wearing his favorite pair of sweats. He always thought you looked so cute in them, so comfy and cozy. Excitement is starting to bubble in, until he thinks, oh, god. What if he’s there? What if Jean has to see you and Eren together in person, in a situation where he can’t just walk away. Oh, fuck, why didn’t he think about this before? He was just so excited to hear your voice, to see you, that he wasn’t thinking. If he has to see this idiot touch you right in front of him he thinks he might punch him. That would not look good on him, you’d probably even get mad at him, that’s the last thing he needs. He pulls up to your apartment before he knows it, punching in the gate code that he still has memorized, begging and praying to whatever good karma he’s drummed up in the universe, that Eren fucking Jaegar is not in your apartment with you.

He knocks on your door, fussing with his hair a little as he bounces on the balls of his feet, unsure what to do with all this nervous energy. When he hears the lock disengage he pulls his hand away from his hair as fast as he can, trying to look as casual as possible, like he hasn’t thought about you every second of every day for the past three months.

“H-hi,” you answer the door, obviously feeling a little uncomfortable with this whole situation yourself, but he doesn’t know if it’s the same kind of nerves he’s having or something else. But fuck, you look so pretty, so so pretty, with your hair draped over your shoulders in loose waves, the way you always wore it before, wearing a crew neck and some shorts.

“He-” Jean’s voice cracks, it fucking cracks. Seriously? What, is he sixteen again? He clears his throat and starts again, “Hey,”

You let him in, and he gets enveloped in your smell, he practically sighs as he breathes in the familiar comfortable scent of you and your things. He didn’t know you could miss a person’s smell this much. He looks around expecting to see the place how he remembers, but he’s thrown off when everything looks different. You’ve rearranged all your furniture. Thankfully, though, you’re the only one here, there’s no sign of another guy having been here at all. He lets out a little sigh of relief, following you into the kitchen where sopping towels are littering the floor.

“I just came home from work and found it like this. I don't know what happened.” you say, waving your arm to the floor.

“Well, let’s just see. I’m sure it’s just a loose rivet or something,” Jean walks past you, trying his best not to let your proximity as he does get to him, fighting the urge to just take you in his arms and not let go. That’s not why he’s here, you didn’t call him for that. He’s thankful that you called him for an actual task, something for him to focus on so he’s not just staring at you, he’s afraid if he stares too long he’ll snap.

You stand in the kitchen with him while he patches everything up, it’s an easy fix, just like he thought. A baby with a wrench could fix this, so again, his mind drifts back to why you called him and not Eren, not that he’s complaining. He thinks it all feels very domestic, you watching him fix up things around the house. He’d fix everything you asked him too if he could hold onto this feeling. He’s surprised when you crouch down next to him, trying to see what he’s doing.

“It was loose, right here, I’m just tightening it up.” He smiles as he looks at you briefly, he can’t help it, you just look so pretty and you’re right next to him, right where you belong.

You smile back at him and he feels his heart lurch again, turning the wrench a little more, satisfied with his work, he catches your eye, “and that should do it, you should be all set now.”

He stands up, wiping his hands on his pants before offering you a hand up. When you take his hand he bites back a smile at the feel of your hand in his again after so much time, even if it is a harmless interaction. Standing up with him, you don’t pull your hand away right away, lingering there for just a second too long. Did he imagine that? No, no you definitely lingered.

You brush a strand of hair behind your ear and smile at him sheepishly. “Thanks again, I really appreciate it.” God, your smile is the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.

“It’s not a problem, I don’t mind helping you.” Jean runs a hand through his hair, rubbing at the back of his neck, looking away from you, still nervous. He knows the whole reason he came is taken care of now, and he doesn’t want to leave, but he thinks that’s what you might want.

“So, I should–”

“Do you want–”

You both speak at once, sharing a nervous chuckle. Jean lets you go first, giving you a look that says so.

“Do you, um.. Want a drink?” You look nervous, awkward. Surely he’s imagining it, he doesn't want to get his hopes up too high. “It’s the least I could do, calling you over here on a Friday night. I’m sure you had better things to do.” You give him another shy smile and he swears he could melt into a puddle right there.

“Uh, sure. Y-yeah, a drink sounds good.”

“All I have are those hard seltzers I usually get, that okay?” you ask like you expect him to remember, and he does. He wants you to know how much he remembers about you; everything, he remembers everything.

So, just drinks for yourself? No beer, no liquor, nothing he thinks a guy like Eren might drink. Interesting. So far, everything he’s observed has led him to the conclusion that maybe you and Eren aren’t together. Maybe Sasha was right, and the two of you are just friends?

“That’s fine,” He bends down, putting his wrench away, placing his tool bag on your counter. Turning back to look at you, the slim can in your hand as you hold it out to him. He takes it, following you over to the couch where you both take a seat next to each other.

His body feels like it’s vibrating, sitting this close to you. You didn’t have to sit this close, but you did. He pops the tab, taking a drink to calm his nerves, and you do the same.

“So, how have you been? It’s been a while.” You speak so softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear again, a nervous habit. Are you feeling the same tension he is? Is he making it all up because he missed you so much?

“Uh, good, good.” He lies, what is he supposed to say? That he’s been completely miserable without you? No, if he’s wrong and you have moved on, he has to at least pretend he’s been doing alright. “Work is, well, work, you know. Haven’t been doing much else. What about you?”

“Y-yeah, no, things are, um, they’re okay. I finally got promoted at work.” you smile at him again, before taking another sip. “I’m officially management.”

Pride swells in his chest, he knows how badly you wanted to move up in your job, how much you craved more responsibility. He’s glad your place of work is finally acknowledging your potential.

“Hey, that’s great. I’m really happy for you,” and he is, genuinely. “Is it everything you wanted it to be?”

You give a little snort, “I mean, I guess. Workplace drama is a lot more stressful when you’re actually the one in charge of trying to defuse it, instead of just listening to all the gossip.”

“Well, I’m sure you’re handling it fine, you were always good at that kind of stuff.”

You huff a little laugh again, thanking him before pulling the sleeves of your crew neck up while adjusting your position on the couch. That’s when he sees it, that little glimmer of silver on your wrist. His heart pounds harder as he sees it. You’re still wearing your bracelet. You still have it.

“You’re still wearing that,” Jean points out, his voice coming out little more than a whisper, like he just can’t believe it, his eyes locked on the bracelet.

A blush blooms across your cheeks and Jean is positive it’s not just the alcohol. Fuck not getting his hopes up, you wouldn’t still be wearing something he got you if you didn’t miss him a little bit.

“Oh, yeah..” you fiddle with the bracelet with your free hand, “I um.. I feel a little naked without it, you know?” you cheeks are still flushed as you look up at him.

Jean just smiles at you, “yeah, I know what you mean.” he says as he pulls the chain out from under his shirt. “I got so used to wearing it everyday, it just doesn’t feel right with it off.” It’s not even a lie, just, not a full truth. His nerves are slowly fading away, getting replaced with renewed hope.

“Well, it does still look good on you,” you reach your hand up to run your fingers along the chain, Jean feels a jolt of electricity in your touch that practically lights his skin on fire, and that’s when he really knows. There’s no way you’d be touching him like this if you didn’t miss him, if you were seeing someone else. He’s never felt so much relief in his life. “Suits you, for sure.”

He takes his hand placing it over yours, goosebumps prickling his skin where your fingers dance along the chain. “You..um, you have good taste,” he says, his breath turning a little shallow, he knows he’s not imagining all the tension that’s been slowly building up since he got here. “I never would have picked anything like this for myself.”

Your hand is so small in his, he’s always been bigger than you, taller, more muscular. He didn't realize how much he missed it until now, he was so caught up with missing all the other parts of you that this bit seemed to have slipped his mind. You’re looking at him with your pretty doe eyes, letting him hold your hand, he can practically see the hearts in your eyes, looking at him like you used to. Fuck it, he’s going for it. Drinks completely forgotten on the coffee table as he scoots a little closer to you, just enough so that your knees are touching.

“I’ve really missed you.” He whispers, leaning in just a little closer, he hears your breath hitch in your throat, your eyes flitting to his lips.

He smiles as you lean in too. You want it just as much as he does. “Me too..”

When he finally presses his lips to yours he almost explodes with happiness, he’s feeling giddy, all these pent up feelings pouring out into your lips. He cups the back of your neck as he deepens the kiss, swiping his tongue over your bottom lip, a silent request for permission. He sighs as you grant it, opening your mouth for him so he can glide his tongue along yours, and you moan into his mouth. You fucking moan. He loses any semblance of control he had. His hands move, roaming over your back and the two of you lose yourselves in the moment. Without really thinking about it he pulls you onto his lap, moving his mouth to press hot kisses to your neck, nipping the sensitive skin. It always was one of your favorite spots. His hands run under your sweatshirt, caressing your back, savoring the feel of your soft skin under his palms.

“Missed you so fucking much.” Jean breathes out between kisses, groaning as you grind your hips onto his lap when he kisses your neck again.

“Missed you too. Thought…Thought about you all the time…” Your words are broken up by little gasps. Jean thinks he could die happy, just like this, but then your hands go to the hem of his shirt, pulling it off, running your hands over the contours of his chest and he feels like he’s going to burn out of his skin.

His hands follow suit with yours, pulling your sweatshirt off, discarding it on the floor next to his, drinking in the sight of you, sighing when he sees your bare chest. Running his hands over your tits, kissing his way down your neck and your collarbone before taking one of your nipples into his mouth and starts kissing and sucking, pinching at the other one with his free hand. You arch your back into his touch and he moves his hands back around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He just needs you closer, so much closer.

You just grind against him, he can feel the heat coming off of you, listening to your breath get more and more ragged as you wrap your arms around his neck in order to get closer, pulling his head up.

“I’m sorry. Jean, I’m so sorry.. I never should have–” your voice sounds broken, despite the desire and need coursing through the both of you. It breaks his heart to hear you sounding so sad. You don’t even have to explain what you’re apologizing for, he already knows.

Jean cuts you off with a kiss, running his fingers through your hair, shushing you softly. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” He soothes, pressing soft kisses between his words. “Later. We’ll talk about it later, yeah?” He pulls back, pressing his forehead to yours, looking in your eyes with all the love he has for you.

You give him a feeble little nod, kissing him passionately. Your tongues glide together as you taste each other, making up for lost time, and god, does he want to make up for it. With that in mind, his hands move to the plush of your ass, squeezing as you keep your lips on him. As much as he doesn’t want to push you away from him, he needs to touch you. He runs his hands over your bare thighs before hooking his fingers into the waistband of your shorts, pushing you back just enough so he can get the leverage he needs. Tugging them off, you lift your hips to help him. He looks down and sees you clad in lace, one of his favorite pairs. A brief look of surprise as his brain sorts through it. You… you planned for this, at least to some degree. All doubts completely leave his head as a satisfied grin curls on his lips.

“You wear these just for me, baby?” He murmurs into your ear as he nips at your earlobe, fingers already dancing along the sides of your panties.

You give him another nod and a breathy little sound that he assumes, if you were able to form the words, would be a confirmation. He pushes the material aside, running a finger through your folds. Shit, you're so fucking wet for him. He’s going to lose his mind. His finger swirls around your clit, eliciting moans and gasps from you. You’re already starting to squirm for him and he doesn’t let up, still swirling little circles with the pad of his finger.

“J-Jean,” you moan out his name and cling to him, holding his head tightly to your chest.

“‘M right here, baby, I got you. You gonna be a good girl and cum for me?”

“Y-yes, yes, yes, fuck!” He feels your legs shaking on him, still moving his hand. God, he missed seeing you like this.

“That’s it, that’s my girl. That’s my good fuckin’ girl, did so well for me. ” He purrs into your skin, pressing kisses to your neck, giving you a second to catch your breath.

Turns out you don’t even want a breather, your hands moving desperately to his lap, frantically trying to undo his buttons, slipping your hand in and wrapping around his cock.

“Fuck,” Jean groans under his breath, lifting his hips with you still on his lap, so he can shove his pants down enough for you pull him all the way out.

Your hand pumps him, smearing the precum over his flushed tip, causing him to suck in a sharp breath. You keep working him, your hands are always so soft, twisting your wrist a bit on the way up, squeezing the tip just a little. He loves the way he looks in your hands, your smaller ones making him look even bigger. His eyes catch a little glimmer, and he groans again when he sees you jerking him with your bracelet bouncing on your wrist with your movements. All he can think about is that you’re his, you're his, you're his. That one little accessory tells the whole world. Maybe he’ll replace it with a ring. He leans forward, burying his face in the crook of your neck, taking a shaky breath.

“Shit, you’re makin’ me feel so good, but I don’t… fuck, I don’t want to cum like this.” He pulls back to look in your eyes, seeing nothing but how good you want to make him feel and he doesn’t know what he did to deserve you.

He pulls your panties to the side again, lifting you up, lining himself up with your entrance and pulls you down onto him. Jean thinks he’s died and gone to heaven. He has never felt anything better than you wrapped around him like this. You both let out audible moans, as you adjust to him. Without any warning, you start bouncing on him. His eyes roll back as he drops his head to the back of the couch. Your bounces are slow, deliberate, he’s sure he’s in heaven.

“You feel so good. Love how full you make me feel.” You murmur, breathy, into his ear, bracing yourself on his shoulders.

As much as he’d love to just sit here and bask in you riding him, he’s going to cum way too soon if he lets you keep going like this, especially if you keep using that mouth of yours to whisper everything he’s been wanting to hear for the past three months in his ear. He moves his hands back to your ass, grabbing handfuls of you, doing the work for you for another second or two before he wraps his arm around your waist he starts fucking up into you.

“Missed my pussy so much, baby. She’s mine, yeah? That’s what this means doesn’t it?” He growls, taking your wrist, adorned with your bracelet, showing it to you. “That’s why you never took it off? Been mine this whole time haven’t you?”

Your walls squeeze him, as you hear his words, and he groans again. “All yours, Jean.. al-always yours.”

In all his desperation to get close to you, to get inside of you, he didn’t think your panties would cause a problem, but at this point they’re in his way, they won’t stay to one side. He moves his hand, gripping the flimsy garment, and pulls hard, tearing them.

“Jean!” You protest, looking down at where the two of you are connected.

“I’ll buy you new ones,” He mutters before he picks up his pace, finally able to fuck you the way he wants, slamming his hips up into you.

You don’t seem to care so much anymore, as your eyes roll back, and you let out a cry. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, moving to bury your face in his neck. And for Jean, right now, that just won’t do, he wants to see you, wants to see your face contorted in pleasure. He brings his hand to the back of your neck, tugging your hair so you’re looking at him.

“Look at me, baby, wanna see you.” Shit, he already feels close. Not having you for all these months, and finally getting you, getting to see in your face how good he’s making you feel and how much you missed him too. He didn’t think he was going to last long anyway. He brings his lips to yours, kissing you hungrily, all tongues and teeth.

“Ba-baby, ‘m close,” you whine, eyes glazed over, face scrunched up just the way he likes.

“Me too, cum with me, yeah?” His hand snakes between you, finding your clit, rubbing circles on it with his thumb.

He feels you clenching around him, cunt pulsing and god he missed this feeling, missed feeling you come apart just for him. You say his name again and again like a prayer and he just can’t hold back anymore.

“Fuck, baby, I’m shit–” He tries to warn you so you can get off of him, but you just stay put, slamming down on him again and again. He cums hard, painting your insides white.

Still holding onto you tightly, one hand on your neck and the other around your waist, you both just stay locked in an embrace, panting. Each of your heads are resting on the others shoulders, Jean presses little kisses there while he catches his breath.

“God, I really did miss you so much.” He whispers into your skin. “And not just this, all of it. I missed all of you.”

“I know, I missed you too. I wanted to call you or text you, or anything. I just…didn’t think you wanted to talk to me.” Your fingers toy with the hair at the nape of his neck and he just savors the moment.

Neither one of you moves, you just sit there holding each other. You haven’t even gotten off of him yet, his cock going soft inside you, feeling his cum leak out onto his lap, but he couldn’t care less. He just runs his fingertips up and down your back tenderly.

“You really scared me, you know that?” Jean says when he finally feels like breaking the silence.

You lift your head, giving him a puzzled look. “What do you mean? How did I scare you?”

Jean sighs, it sounds stupid now, in hindsight, thinking that you had moved on. “I thought you were dating that Eren guy. You posted a picture with him and I kind of freaked out.”

It seems like it takes a second for his words to register, because you’re quiet for a moment before you burst into a full fit of laughter. Jean just gives you a pointed look. He doesn’t see what’s so funny about that. You’re laughing so hard you practically roll off of him, landing on your side on the couch, your legs still draped over him. He follows suit, cuddling you when he gets onto his side.

“What’s so funny?”

You finally stop laughing long enough to answer him. “Eren? EW.” you manage to get out before you start giggling again. “He’s like a brother to me, we grew up together. I haven’t seen him before that post since he left for school. You really thought I was dating Eren??”

Jean’s cheeks flush, a little pout forming on his face. “What was I supposed to think? He was way too close to you in that picture.”

Your laughter subsides, and you brush some hair out of his face, giving him a soft smile. “He just took me out for the day because I was so sad about you. I felt like I’d made a big mistake, and he just wanted to get my mind off of it for a little while. Besides, even if he wasn’t like a brother, he’s been in love with the same girl from middle school since he was like, twelve years old.”

You look like you have more to say but you’re hesitating. Clearly feeling a little nervous, he just nudges you gently, wanting you to continue.

You take a deep breath before going on, “I am sorry.. I shouldn’t have broken up with you, and for such a stupid reason.”

“What was the reason, exactly?” He asks, he never actually got the full story.

“I just… I liked you too much, things were going too well. I guess I kind of panicked, wondering when the other shoe was going to drop.”

Jean just stares at you, of all the reasons he thought it was, he didn’t think it was this.

“So… you broke up with me, because things were going too well?”

“It sounds stupid when you say it like that!” You bury your face into his chest, hiding your blush. “I said I was sorry.”

“What if there’s no other shoe? What if we’re just good together? Did you think about that?” He asks, no malice or hurt in his voice, just genuine curiosity. He presses a little kiss to the top of your head, trying to soothe you.

“There’s always another shoe.” You mutter, not bothering to lift your head up.

Jean sighs, taking your chin in his hand, pulling you up so that you’re eye to eye with him. “Baby, I promise, I will do everything in my power to ensure that there is no other shoe, okay? You have a problem, just talk to me. Let me be there for you, let me try and make things better. I’m not saying everything will be perfect all the time, but just know I’ll try my damndest for you.” He presses a kiss to your lips, sealing his promise.

“Yeah.. okay,” you finally give him another smile, and he kisses you again, unable to resist. “So, can I be your girlfriend again?”

“As long as you promise not to break up with me for such a stupid reason ever again.” He smiles at you again, pressing another kiss to your forehead before pulling you back into his chest.

“Promise,” you mumble as you nuzzle into him.

Jean’s happier than he’s been in months, with you in his arms, right back where you belong.

Thank you so much for reading! Likes and Reblogs are always appreciated!💖

#jean kirstein #snk jean #jean x reader #aot smut #jean kirschstein x reader #jean kirstein smut #snk smut #snk x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan smut #jean x you #jean x y/n #aot fanfiction #no use of y/n

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copperbadge · 1 year

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Oh man, The Chicken Salad War just got real.

Found this while I was picking up a coronation chicken salad sandwich in Cambridge for the trip home. They're quite good; they do taste like curried chicken salad, but really that means mostly they're curry crisps with a bit of chicken flavoring. Listed seasoning includes coriander seed, cumin, turmeric, ginger, cayenne, black pepper, aniseed, green cardamom, dired onions, yeast extract, chicken extract, mustard, and dried mango. It makes me angry on behalf of America that we have like, four flavors of chips and then those four flavors in increasingly Spicy Masochism flavor. Bastards out here putting mango and cardamom on a fried potato and meanwhile it feels like whole aisles of the supermarket are dedicated to Takis and Flamin' Hot Cheetos.

These are 100% going in the book. I even know how but I can't spill it because it would spoil a huge plot point.

[ID: a photograph of a snack-sized bag of crisps in matte blue, with banners cris-crossing it printed on the wrapper. It reads "M&S Food: Hand Cooked Coronation Chicken Crisps". It's gluten free and best before August 2023.]

#sam travels #the cheese tour #partly renamed the Coronation Chicken tour #food #flavor

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sunshineting · 1 year

Text

trafalgar law x reader

word count- 1711

summary- a hot day calls for a cold treat, but your captain gets hot and bothered watching you suck a popsicle

MINORS DNI PLEASE this is SMUT ⚠️‼️

It’s a hot fucking day. The Polar Tang surfaced hours ago, but the air was barely cooler than the water. With volcanoes both underwater and on the island you float near, the whole crew is miserable. Of course Captain Law had to choose the most dangerous path, not wanting to seem pussy compared to Luffy and Kidd. For a guy who’s usually so level headed, something about the two other captains just riled Law up.

“Hey, Y/N, you wanna grab some popsicles?” Penguin asks. The two of you have kitchen duty together for the week. Prior to getting to this hell island, you bought a huge box of popsicles for the crew to share on a nice day. You hadn’t expected to eat them so early, yet here you are. You and Penguin share a look and race to the big freezer. The crisp, cold air of the chest freezer feels amazing, if only for a moment. The two of you go around the whole ship handing everyone different flavors of the icy treats. You try to knock on the door of your captain’s study, but get a curt ‘I’m busy, be out soon’. Rolling your eyes, you head to the deck where some other crewmates sat. You sit next to Bepo, but make sure to keep at least two feet of distance between you two.

“Bepo, usually I’d cuddle you, but it’s too hot and your fur would only make it worse. I’m sorry,” you tell the polar bear.

“How do you think I feel? I’m dying here!” he whines. You’d long since abandoned your boiler suit. Most of the crew simply had theirs pulled down to their hips, but you opted to forego it completely. A thin cropped tank top and short shorts were all you could be bothered to don. You’re making small talk when you remember that you haven’t opened your popsicle yet. Placing the cold, sweet treat in your mouth felt like sweet salvation. You lick and slurp the coconut flavored delicacy with fervor. The popsicle starts melting a bit, causing sticky white drips to descend your hand. You try to lick it up before it gets everywhere, but that makes it worse on your face. You feel like such a clutz, making a mess all over.

Just then, your captain walks out to the deck. Law looks at all his crew and lets out a slight chuckle. Typically, he’d be upset at the lack of work getting done, but now he’s just glad that everyone has stopped complaining about the heat. His eyes zero in on you practically naked and just about deepthroating a popsicle. How lewd could you be? The sticky white liquid dribbles down your chin and hand.

“Y/N. Meet me in my study,” Law states. With that, he turns back to where he came from. A symphony of ‘ooohs’ is heard from your crewmates.

“Ooooh, Y/N’s in troublllleee,” someone teases. You were known on the crew as the one who gets under the captain’s skin the most. Always talking back to him, being snarky, and just bothering him in general. It was never in a bad way, though. It was… endearing. Law would never admit it out loud, but he appreciated that you messed with him. At times, it reminds him that he’s still young. A tiny bit of silliness never hurt anyone. This, however, was not one of those moments.

You follow Law to his study, unsure of what he could want with you. You make sure to close the door behind yourself because he’s uptight about that type of stuff.

“What’s up, Cap?” you say as you lean against his desk. You finally finish your popsicle and suck the drippings off your fingers. Law towers over you, drinking in the sight. He wipes his thumb across your bottom lip, catching the last bit of coconut. To your surprise, he brings it to his own lips to taste.

“Y’know I put up with a lot from you. Teasing me, talking back to me – I put up with that stuff because you’re a good crewmate. You work hard and you’re reliable. It also helps that you’re the cutest on the ship.”

“Wait huh–”

“I’m not done,” he says, putting a hand to your throat. The pressure is gentle, yet firm. You find yourself melting into his touch. “Today, you not only abandoned your uniform, but you were putting on quite the show while eating your ice pop. Did you like showing the whole ship what a little slut you are? And the worst part is that you didn’t even offer me one. Tsk tsk,” he continues. You feel his breath tickle your ear, sending goosebumps across your flesh. Your nipples perk up at his closeness.

“I tried to knock on your door to give you one. But you said you said you were busy,” you say cheekily. Looking up to meet his gaze, you stick your tongue out at him. Big mistake. Law quickly grabs your tongue with his pointer finger and thumb.

“There’s much better things you can do with this than stick it out at me.” He releases his fingers and you pull your tongue back in your mouth. His big tattooed hand cups your face. You can’t help but nuzzle into it a bit; he’s just so warm. Law presses his thumb against your lips.

“Open.”

Your lips part. With that, his thumb pushes in. The slight chill of the popsicle lingers. As if instinctively, you lightly suck on your captain’s thumb. Law is transfixed by the way the tattooed D disappears and reappears from your lips. He feels his cock get somehow harder than it already was. With his hand back on your throat, he dives in to kiss you. Law kisses so deeply. So intimately. So intentionally. Every nip of his teeth, every flick of his tongue is done with intent. He knows what he’s doing and how he wants you to react.

You’re dripping wet and throbbing, aching for more. Law can tell you’re getting needy so he pulls away. You let out a pathetic whine. In an attempt to get what you want, you try to lean back into him for another intoxicating kiss. The hand around your throat squeezes and holds you back.

“What the helllllll,” you cry. Seeing you look up at him with your big doe eyes almost makes Law want to go easy on you. Almost.

“Little brats don’t get what they want. They get what they deserve. And maybe if you suck me as good as you sucked that popsicle, you might deserve to cum. Is that fair?”

You poke your bottom lip out and mumble, “No, it’s not fair.”

“So you don’t wanna cum? You don’t want me to shove my fingers in your desperate little cunt? Come on, Y/N, be for real.” His gruff voice sends heat throughout your body. The hand that isn’t on your throat starts rubbing your pussy through your shorts. Your breath hitches. You’ve soaked your panties and it’s dampening your shorts now. How embarrassing.

“Law, please! Yes, I wanna cum! I wanna suck your cock, I wanna swallow your cum! I’ll be a good girl for you. Please,” you beg as your eyes begin to water. You’d never been so desperate in your life. Usually, you get exactly what you want when you want it. But Law wasn’t going for that. He knew how to tame a spoiled little girl such as yourself.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it? Now be a good girl and get on your knees,” he commands.

Law takes a seat in his desk chair, removing his cock from his jeans. Kneeling in front of him, you caress his pretty, long cock. His hair is slightly trimmed, leading up to the happy trail that’s exposed by his unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt. His shaft has a little darker of a tan than the rest of him and his tip is the prettiest pink. You start placing kisses up and down his length then one long lick from the base to the tip. He shudders. You make sure to keep eye contact as you start bobbing your head on him. Your captain lets out the most erotic groan you’ve ever heard. His noises encourage you to really start putting in work. You’re taking him as far back as you can; even with your hand supplementing, he’s still so big. Your hand and your mouth work in tandem— hand gripping and twisting, mouth sucking and tongue slurping.

“Fuck!” Law grunts. You never would’ve guessed he was this vocal, yet here he is. He fists his hand in your hair, gripping harshly. You can’t help but moan.

“You’re such a slut,” he pants with a smirk. You keep going, spit bubbling and dripping down his balls. It’s when you start caressing them that sends Law over.

“Shit. Fuck!” Law moans like an absolute whore when he cums. His seed fills your mouth and you swallow every drop with a smile. You open your mouth and stick your tongue out to show him. Law gently grabs your chin, pulling you up to him. He pulls you into a kiss, shoving his tongue in your mouth. He’s sucking your own tongue; it feels like he’s taking your soul with it.

“Sit on my desk and spread your legs. Since you did such a good job, I’ll reward you.” You’ve never moved so fast in your life. As soon as you’re sitting pretty on his desk, Law digs in. He’s eating you like a starved man, lapping up all of your juices. His middle and ring fingers curling up into you, coaxing out even more cream into his hand. You’re a whimpering mess at his disposal. He starts flicking your swollen, sensitive clit with his thick tongue and doesn’t let up.

“Ca-captain waitwaitwait it’s too much!” You’re trembling and grab a fistful of his hair for support. He’s relentless, bullying your poor clit into overstimulation. You don’t last long until you’re cumming on his face. Having an orgasm that big makes you so tired that you can barely lift your head up.

“Thank you Captain,” you mumble just before you close your eyes.

#trafalgar law x reader #one piece smut #trafalgar d water law #law smut #law x y/n #trafalgar law x y/n #law x reader #one piece #kait's writes

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blueskittlesart · 1 year

Note

PLEASE elaborate on the mario movie i want to know how bad it sucks

i took notes while i was watching it because i'm insane so here's what i wrote down:

objectively bad. especially if you are not a mario fan. sorry. specifically that special illumination flavor of bad. despicable me bad. you know what i mean

clearly more emphasis was put on aesthetic/worldbuilding than story. the spectacle is incredible but the story is barebones at the best of times. several plot points seem VERY rushed and very few character relationships are given the time or attention they really need to have the character-driven story that this movie clearly WANTS to be

ESPECIALLY mario and peach’s relationship is not given nearly enough time. they get a meet-cute scene in which peach instantly takes mario in for seemingly no reason and then one training montage (both within the span of about 30 mins of runtime) and after that they’re sharing intimate secrets with each other and we’re supposed to see mario as a potential romantic partner for peach. the relationship is not NEARLY established enough for any of this and the audience is left to assume that a ton of development must have happened off screen, which makes the relationship seem REALLY rushed and flat.

the only genuinely well-written relationship imo was mario and donkey kong and they fucking hate each other

that being said the world design is REALLY good and it’s clear the designers were fans and put a lot of effort into it!! it just kind of makes it more obvious that the story is bad when it’s painted over such a fantastic backdrop

the way the references to the games were built into the environment was, again, very well done. every reference i got was well-placed and funny. i just wish the story that held all the references together was good lol

peach’s body proportions were throwing me off for the entire movie. her head is SO huge in comparison to her tiny skinny body that it’s super distracting

sometimes chris pratt makes an effort to sound like a new york italian and sometimes he just Is Chris Pratt and i genuinely don’t know which one is worse

peach’s voice honestly threw me off more than crisp rat it just does not fit her at all

animation is over rendered in that new age disney-pixar style that i really hate. i think that a movie based on retro pixel-art video games could have benefited a lot from a more stylized art style instead of so much realism

the soundtrack is incredible tho

bowser is the best character in the whole movie (we knew this)

final fight was very good. that’s all i have to say about it it was good

i honestly think this was doomed to happen with a movie like this because mario as a game doesnt have a ton of story to hold it together so any story you try to make out of it is inevitably going to rely on game references over plot ESPECIALLY if you have diehard fans writing for you. i think they could have benefitted from a few writers who DIDN'T know or care about mario to look objectively at the script as a narrative because if you take away the game-reference spectacle the story is just. not great unfortunately. I don't think it was AWFUL per se but from purely a writing standpoint it could have been WAY better than what we got imo.

#this is from the perspective of someone who DOESN'T like or play mario games that much btw. i play mario kart thats abt it #asks #mario movie spoilers #< sort of? lol

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catchyhuh · 7 months

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breakfast facts

WARNING!!!! DO NOT EMULATE THE MADE UP EATING PATTERNS I JUST MADE UP FOR THESE MADE UP PEOPLE IT WOULD PROBABLY BE BAD FOR YOU. ESPECIALLY ZENIGATA REALLY REALLY DO NOT EMULATE ANY OF TH

lupin:

must eat as soon as he wakes up or he’s fucked. not even like fully a physical stomach thing its just mentally he Must start his day with food

kellogs commercial table. the cereal, two slices of toast, one butter, one jam, apple, like bacon and eggs n shit

scarfs it down in two seconds. as a result no one else will make his breakfast for him becuase its kind of annoying spending 2 hours cooking at 7am so the princess can inhale his perfectly crisp bacon like the poltergust 3000

yes he complains when he has to do it himself. so every day yes. it just wasn't practical to do the whole shebang every day so he whittled it down to his toast and eggs. but you know if he could,

the king must feast. he gives himself a stomach ache damn near every day he gets his food the way he actually wants it

jigen:

eats what’s provided honestly. you could say that about every meal but he just doesn’t care too much esp with his breakfast

he’ll complain (he’s particular about waffles and pancakes needing to be a certain amount of savory to justify them existing in a MEAL meal and not just as a dessert) but not too a huge extent. honestly he’ll eat whatever

doesn't have a huge appetite early in the morning, usually balances it out with a big lunch and even BIGGER dinner. he's gotta ease into those heavy hitters man he's delicate bro

cawfee. cuppa joe. He hates it. jigen doesn’t like it despite dressing like a keurig machine gijinka and having the symphonic cadence of a coffee grinder. it just doesn’t taste good to him (it's that deceptive scent dude) that said {sleep hcs incoming soon} sometimes he needs some to jumpstart him like an old car. again, complains, but goes through with it

fujiko:

special k commercial table. the cereal. the side bowl with random dollops of peanut butter and mixed other nuts and oats (?) i guess it’s oats, the GRAPEFRUIT oh i know she’s a grapefruit bitch!! pb honey spread on an English Muffin too. like some. idk there’s a cinnamon stick involved YOU GET THE VISUAL

funny thing is she doesn’t even eat half of it. she just goes with the muffin, bowl of mini wheats, maybe two pieces of grapefruit ingested as she leaves the table. whoever passes the table next is expected to handle leftovers. breakfast leftovers. that's an insane concept now that i type it out

cawfee. she either drinks it with a thousand disgusting artificially flavored creams or she chews the beans raw. presentation vs functionality is a key aspect of ms mine's internal struggle

complex relationship with fast food coffee shop chains as a result

goemon:

another guy who loves the Big Breakfast by tom cardy but unlike lupin (who loves his beauty sleep too much to wake up early) and fujiko (who usually gets her non-lupin boytoy of the month to make it for her) goemon actually gets up asscrack of dawn early to prepare a meal fit for a king

perfectly fluffy rice. hand squeezed juice. absolutely decadent vegetables. impossibly picturesque omelette. but just normal ass sara lee bread though he doesn’t have THAT much time on his hands

funny thing is he's definitely the most normal about it. goemon just. eats his breakfast. he might raise his eyebrows in slight surprise at how good the eggs taste today or something but really its just. food. all these other weirdos either take 10 years to eat a piece of toast or just inhale their food but the guy who dresses and talks like its the 18th century wins the normal award here

has emphasized the importance of eating breakfast to others before despite easily functioning without it. wake him up at 4 say “no time for brekkie dude we gotta go steal the fire hydrant of the louvre” and he’ll be like Done no problems

zenigata: i know i mentioned it before but NOT HEALTHY BEHAVIOR DO NOT FUCKING EMULATE

haha.

he’s very bad about it VERY bad about it always getting yelled at by third parties. they go “what’d you have for breakfast” and he shrugs and they go "oh god did you even eat" "ONE BOILED EGG HAS PROTEIN IN IT!!"

its amazing the stature you can get while still being the guy who eats half a protein bar for breakfast and doesn’t actually sit down for a meal again until like 1 am. really i cannot emphasize enough don’t try this at home

HES JUST SO DAMN BUSY! but if he could he’d take anything. unlike jigen, who just doesn't wanna start a fight THAT early in the morning, zeni just loves every breakfast food! muffins eggs potatoes pancakes cereal the random ass fruit he LOVES it

god help the hotel with a free breakfast when this guy comes in. or that is, if he didn’t sleep until 11 AM because he was up lupin-ing all night.

in conclusion: they would all love a trip to the mcdonalds breakfast menu drivethru. they all get a hashbrown. would you believe me if i said i only remembered the mcdonald’s commercials after typing that

#lupin iii #lupin the third #i don't wanna overtag because really this is just. so i can put this out into the world and get it OUT OF MY HEAD so yeah ^w^#ACTUALLY I NEED TO TAG THIS FOR MY OWN ORGANIZATION LATER DON'T I. OOPS ok we'll just keep it on a one name basis #lupin #jigen #goemon #fujiko #zenigata #done.

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siberat · 5 months

Text

“Let’s get this party started, right? My first food choice will be a classic appetizer- this blooming onion. *Picks up dish and holds toward the camera* Just look how huge this battered beast is! I just love how pretty this looks; the giant onion cut to look like a flower is so cute…almost too cute to eat.

I’m just kidding; of course, I’m gonna dig into this deep-fried dish. And I heard the sauce is simply to die for! *Tears off a few petals, dunks into sauce, and eats* But enough about my food, let’s move on to the first question, shall we?

*Squints at a datapad* First up is from an anonymous asker, who is eyeing up my wonderfully huge spread here. They ask which of these foods you are most excited to try.

*Face lights up, then scrunches, deep in thought* And this is going to be hard to answer: all these foods just look so scrumptious! One could never go wrong with Altihex rolls or ice cream! And, of course, that crystal cherry pie is universally famous! *Stifles a laugh*

But if I had to choose just one…. Hmmm… *Bites lower lip* I suppose I am most excited to try these mini-cinnabar pancakes. *Points to the smaller plate of fluffy, purple cylinders loaded with syrup* They are a new receipt I recently found, and figured I would share my first time experiencing them with you! However, I am not going to eat these quite yet. *Wags a finger, then polishes off the blooming onion*

Hmmmm… this onion was very sweet, and the batter was so crisp and flavorful! I sure demolished this flower, huh? *Shows emply plate* And the remoulade dipping sauce had just the right amount of kick to it! Spicey, but not burn your mouth off!

What should I sample next? *Optics scan the table* Oh! This fried robot-chicken looks like a swell choice, doesn’t it? *Pauses, looking at camera* Oh, I sure hope you all are munching on your favorite foods, too. I’d hate to be the only one stuffing my face silly!

But just look at these legs, wing and breast! *The dish is grabbed and set upon his lap* Once again, it is a fried dish. Yes, it most definitely is not the healthiest, seeing as it is loaded with grease. Shyly smiles* But that is what makes it so good! Please, pardon me while I sink my fangs into this drumstick. *Picks up a leg and bites into it*

Oh, my stars! *Optics widen in enjoyment* This is just divine! Did you all hear that crunch? *Looks at camera* The skin is slightly salty, but the meat is so juicy and savory! Oh, I wish I could share this with you all!

*Lifts an arm and points a finger* But I can share the next shout with you: I love your décor Drift!

Oh, thank you for taking notice, Fox! *Smiles sweetly, optics forming half-moons* I simply love springtime colors, don’t you? They create such an uplifting atmosphere and always make me happy! Perfect for meditating, wouldn’t you say? *Nods helm*

Oh, and allow me to show off the aroma therapy candles! *Beckons to his left* I have the lavender ones burning now. They assist in calming one's processor and just relaxing your frame. After a long day working next to Rodi/mus, the smell takes away your stress and anxiety.

*Face drops in shock* Please. Don’t tell him I told you that. I’m only playing around! *Sucks at grease and breadcrumbs on his fingers* Oh, do pardon me- this robo-chicken is finger-licking good!

Do you guys like my quartz crystal?? *Motions to his right* It’s the seventh chakra crystal, amplifying your energy, inner thoughts, and spirituality. Plus, its colors are simply gorgeous, wouldn’t you agree?

And who would not want to look at such handsome pictures of Rat/chet? *Face lightens in joy* The one with both of us was such a sweet day: the anniversary of our courtship! And the other one…*Raises brow* well, let’s just say I cannot resist my love even when he is being such a cranky-bot!

Rat/chet is not fond of that photo, I might add. *Gives the camera a serious look* But I think he looks so cute!

Would you look at this? *Shows camera plate full of picked clean chicken frame* I sure polished off this dish! Sucked the meat right off that framework, huh? *Licks lips* That dish was tasty. Let's give this bowl of spaghetti a try. *Grabs bowl and shows to camera*

The noodles are high-quality lithium, and I purchased them freshly made right in front of me. It was entertaining to watch them roll out the dough and cut it into these tiny strips. *Points to round pink sphere on top of the noodles* And that giant meatball just seals the deal!

Let's move on to another question as I slurp this dish up. *Feeds himself a large amount of noodles and works to suck them into mouth*

Another anonny is asking about food. *Winks* I see you enjoy the finer things in life as much as I do! ‘How about a food question to help your appetite.’

Oh, my dear anon! *Playfully waves at camera* While I appreciate your concern, I don’t think I’ll need much encouragement to graze on this feast before me! My tummy was grumbling all day! ‘Do you snack often, and what is your go-to?’

Well, the teachings of Prim/us come with warnings of gluttony and greed. *Gives a serious look* Too much of a good thing can be seen as a sin. While I do see the point, I see no harm if your feasting isn’t taking from others.

However, I do not mean to get sidetracked! *Stabs meatball with fork and takes a big bite* Although, I just want to mention how good this meatball is! Rolled-up silicone with hints of feldspar…. Chef’s kiss!

I go through bouts of snacking. *Tilts helm* Casual snacking is usually heathy energon foods, such as ener-nuts, fresh crystal fruits and ener-bars are suitable for working long shifts on the bridge. Cottage cheese, made from pasteurized ener-milk, is another filling snack, full of nutrients that help you feel satiated for hours. Plus, it tastes like ricotta cheese but has more of those super fun curds! *Winks*

As for the junk foods… *Smirks* Well, I can’t lay off the sweets. I am sure you could figure that out based on the dishes I selected. I love those prepackaged mini pastries, especially the ones with cream filling! *Fingers wiggle in excitement* Talk about a sugary rush! Donuts, pies, and even candied geodes make for a much more fun break time! *Face returns to serious look* But I do tend to limit those. Sadly, they serve as a quick pick-me-up, but you tend to crash hard afterward.

And this pasta has been demolished. *Shows empty bowl* See? Nothing left!

Oh, I know what I want to taste next. Check this dish out! *Holds up selected dish *Olivine on toast with a sunny side ener-egg on top! I just love dippy eggs! *Smiles widely* It’s fun to pop them and watch all the tasty yolk spill out everywhere. And the Olivine has such a creamy and earthy taste that I simply adore! Spreading it on toasted barium bread warms it nicely and makes for a good, hearty breakfast.

Oh my. *Eyes widen, jaw drops*

This next question is fascinating. *laughs* Alcorian asks a rather funny one: ‘What’s some silly disagreement that you and Rat/chet can never come to an agreement or compromise about?’

Well, a serious one is the whole concept of spirituality, but we came to a mutual understanding about that. A silly disagreement… well… the bed sheets. *Meekly smiles*

Yes. You heard me correctly. *Holds servo out* Hear me out.

I just love to climb into a berth with tucked-in bed sheets: it feels like a giant warm hug! *Smiles, then face gets serious* Rat/Chet on the other hand, prefers the blankets to be loose. *Scrunches up face as toast is dipped into egg yolk* Claims being tucked in makes him feel smothered. What a poor baby! So, after a bit, he kicks his side loose. *Shrugs his shoulders* I try to scold him, but he assures me he will keep me tucked in. *Smiles and blushes* How can one be mad after hearing that!

Oh, I just thought of another one. *Optics widen* You get a two-for-one! And I could use your opinions on this. *sighs* When putting cups in the cabinets, do you place them face down or face up? They should be face down; that way, no dust or grimy stuff collects in them. *Tilts helm* Rat/Chet just puts them in any which way! When I discuss this with him… he gives the typical Rat/Chet response. *Gives impression of Rat/chet’s behavior* You know, the hand wave while muttering, ‘Yeah, yeah yeah.’

Oh, this olivine toast was ever so tasty! *Licks lips*That runny egg dripped all over the place but really hit the spot! Nice and toasty.

Alright. *Face goes stern* Now comes a tricky question: What’s next?”

… ……

Still taking on more askes! So, if you have a question for Dr/ift, send it in! You can send multiples. Also, if you wanted to ask as another TF character- just state so! Let’s keep this mukbang going and see if our dear swordsmech can handle all that food infront of him!

( if your ask didn’t get answered, I am saving some for other rounds)

previous: https://www.tumblr.com/siberat/733711321796837376/mukbang-are-we-recording-yeah-okay-hello-fans?source=share

#chubformers #siberatart #chubby belly #weightgain #mukbang

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jeannereames · 6 months

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Corn Soup weather

We're getting our first freeze this weekend, and my brain turns to favorite winter foods. Not a huge soup person, but I have an amazing chili recipe, and a very good corn soup recipe. I'll share the corn soup recipe here, as it's pretty easy (compared to the chili, which is a witch's brew of ingredients/spices).

Traditional Great Lakes Corn Soup has three main ingredients: lyed corn, (hard) beans, and meat stewed slowly in broth--with about a million family variations. Ha. Traditionally, the meat was venison, and leeks/green onions (or other onions were added), plus some herbs. Any hard bean will do, but I prefer red beans or Appaloosa beans for color. Below is how I make it. You could make a meatless version by dumping the meat and using vegetable broth. I HAVE made this with venison and IT IS AWESOME (much better than the pork version).

Additionally, lyed corn = hominy = posole. What it's called varies, depending on where you live. It's best to get dried hominy, not canned, but if you're in a hurry (as I often am), canned hominy will do. Drain it to get out the excess salty fluid! White is preferable to yellow (sweeter), but purple/blue makes a fun variation.

Below assumes dried goods, but if you want to "cheat" and use canned goods, 2 cans hominy for every 1 of beans.

Native Great Lakes Corn Soup

1 lb. package of dried lyed corn/hominy/posole

8 oz. dried dark red beans, or Appaloosa beans (I grow my own)

1 large onion or 2 leeks or 6-10 green onions (depending on size)

1 lb package bacon, fried crisp to crumble (can be excluded)

1/1.5 lb. salted pork or (healthier) pork loin cubed; (venison if you can get it--if so, drop the bacon)

pork stock or other broth

seasoning: salt, pepper, savory, thyme, garlic, sumac, (rosemary)

YOU MUST soak the corn and beans overnight. For the uninitiated, if you don't do this, they'll break your teeth. Then cook both for c. 2 hours before you start on the soup. Both must be soft! (This is why I sometimes cheat and use canned, but it's never as good.)

While waiting for the corn and beans, using an iron skillet (best!), fry the bacon, nice and crisp, then sear the pork in some of the retained bacon grease (don't cook through). Also sear (but don't cook through) the onions/leeks/green onions.

Once the beans and corn are ready, drain and dump into a big crock pot along with the pork and onions. Pour in enough stock to cover well.

Add herbs. My amounts vary, tbh. Don't overdo the salt, pepper, or garlic. But go wild with the savory and thyme (1 tbsp each [fresh] is common for me). I consider both essential. Sumac is also great if you can get it (maybe 1/2 tbsp). Be careful with rosemary or it'll overwhelm subtler spices. You can leave out if you don't like it. But I taste as it cooks and add more of whatever seems missing.

Set your crock-pot to high for about 45 min--just enough to get it good and hot all through--then reduce and let is simmer on low for 3+ hours. Add stock as you need. Like good chili, this is better cooked long and low than hot and fast. Flavors need to mingle.

Add most of the bacon near the end, mix well, and be sure it's got about half an hour to mingle.

Serve with more bacon sprinkled on top + good bread to soak up the broth. Sourdough is recommended.

#Winter recipes #Native corn soup #indigenous recipes #Great Lakes recipes

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neverasfarawayasitmayseemxo · 2 years

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Meeting Him - Part 2

Here's part two :)

Please give me any feedback you're willing to share!

"Hey [Y/N]! Over here!"

You stand on your tip toes and look over the crowd of people waiting on line to get in.

You finally see your cousin, Kiara, and your other cousins, Brendan and Leah.

You make your way through the crowd and finally catch up to them.

"Goodness" you say as you fix your hair.

"The line is insane! This place must be amazing! " Leah says gazing at the building.

"How are you doing? How was the bar?" Kiara asks.

You smile, "I met someone...a boy..."

Brendan gasps. "Oh my gosh, you did? Was he cute? Would he like me?!"

You laugh, "Actually, he's a celebrity. His name is Austin Butler. He's in the new Elvis movie"

Brendan, Leah and Kiara all stare at you. Their jaws drop.

"You. Met. Austin. BUTLER?" Leah exclaims.

"He is so hot, [Y/N]" Kiara says.

"Oh my god, tell us everything" Brendan squeals.

You shrug, "I don't know. We met at the hotel bar, we chatted for about an hour and that was it"

Brendan grabs your arm.

"Do you think he's into you?" he asks.

"I don't know!" you shriek. "He kind of checked me out as I was leaving and he did say "I never met anyone like you" before I was leaving. Oh, and he did wink at me" you rattle off as you retell the tale.

Leah jumps up and down.

"Ugh, he is so gorgeous. You're so lucky!" Leah exclaims.

"Finally! They're letting us in" Brendan says.

When you enter the club, you notice that it is massive and there are tons more people inside than there are outside. There are crowds of people dancing close to one another, some making out, others laughing and chatting over the loud music.

"Drinks on me!" Brendan says. "I just got a huge promotion at work and I want to treat my favorite people to a good time"

You smile. He orders you all apple martinis.

"To Brendan getting a promotion and for [Y/N] meeting Austin Butler" Kiara says as she holds her glass in the air.

You shake your head and laugh.

"Cheers" you say, as everyone joins glasses.

You wake up the next morning at 7AM with a pounding headache. Wow, you definitely shouldn't have had 4 apple martinis and however many shots Leah was throwing down your throat.

You rub your eyes and grip your head. OUCH.

"Fuck" you groan.

You turn slowly trying not to make the headache worse. You open the bedside table and fish out a bottle of Advil. Thank god you remembered to pack it.

You take a swig of water from a bottle on your nightstand and swallow. The only thing that was going to help get rid of this hangover was coffee...and lots of it.

You manage to apply a little bit of makeup and get dressed for the day.

You grab your purse, stuff some cash into your pocket and walk down to the lobby and out into the crisp New York City air. About two blocks away, you find a Starbucks. Hallelujah!

You walk in and order the largest coffee you could get and hand the barista some cash. You take a seat at one of the tables and take out your book.

You take a sip of your coffee and continue to read. The vanilla flavored coffee makes your tongue tingle. You were starting to feel a bit better.

"Wow, she even reads at the coffee shop"

You look up and Austin is standing in front of you with a tray full of four hot coffees.

A smile instantly spread across your face. He's wearing a white t-shirt, a leather jacket, black jeans and boots. He looks so handsome.

You blush and close your book.

"She does. She reads anywhere she can actually" you reply.

Austin bites his lip and gestures to the chair.

"Mind if I sit for a minute?" he asks.

"Please" you say moving your book to the side so he has room.

He takes a seat and puts the tray of coffee in front of him.

"You must really like coffee" you say, eyeing the tray.

He giggles and brushes his hand against a cup.

"I do very much, but this coffee is for my team. I have some interviews to do today. I may be an actor but I'm still the coffee boy when it comes to it" he explains.

You laugh, "Well coffee boy, what kind of interviews do you have to do?

He shrugs, " I have to be at the TODAY Show in...." He looks down at his watch. "45 minutes"

You place your chin in your hand.

"You should probably get to it then, huh?" you ask.

He crosses his arms. "Wow! Wanting me to leave already?" he asks sarcastically.

You shake your head and giggle. "No, I just want you to be on time!"

He smiles and runs his fingers through his hair.

"So, I was wondering...maybe after my interviews we could do something. I have a really cool place I'd like to show you"

You can feel yourself blushing again. You look into his blue eyes.

"Hmm, that sounds like it could be fun. What's the place?"

Austin points his finger at you. "Now, that is a surprise"

He gets up and grabs his tray.

"How about you meet me in the lobby, say, around 2PM?"

You hold you book closer and nod.

"Sure thing"

He smiles, his white teeth sparkling.

"Great, I can't wait. See you later, [Y/N]" he says and turns to walk out the door.

It's about 1:30PM and you are in your hotel room on the phone with Kiara.

"Oh my god, do you think it's a date?" Kiara asks.

You shrug and finish applying your blush.

"Maybe? I don't know but it's crazy. He is so nice to me, maybe he just wants to be friends"

You can hear Kiara sigh on the phone.

"I think you should just stop thinking and let whatever happens, happen" she says.

You nod, "Yeah, maybe I should. Well, let me go. I'm meeting him downstairs soon"

"You have to call me as soon as you get back. Let me know everything please!" she squeals and hangs up the phone.

You put your phone down and finish putting on the rest of your makeup and look in the mirror. You felt pretty and confident.

You grab your things and take the elevator down to the lobby. As soon as you open the door, you see Austin waiting on a large brown sofa. He was on his phone texting someone.

"Hello, coffee boy" you say, as you approach him.

He looks up and smiles, stuffing the phone in his coat pocket.

"Hi book worm, you ready to go?" He stands up and stuff his hands in his pocket.

You laugh at the silly nickname he gives you.

"As long as you're not going to kill me, then yes, I'm ready"

Austin shakes his head and laughs.

"You're funny, [Y/N]" he says.

You walk out of the hotel and start down the street.

"So how was your interview?" you ask.

"It was good, I know a lot of people hate doing interviews but I love it. I enjoy getting to talk to new people, meet new faces. I think everyone deserves to have their questions answered thoroughly and thoughtfully, you know?"

You love how sincere he is, how other people's lives mattered deeply to him. He clearly wasn't some stuck up guy like some other celebrities can be.

You both walk four more blocks and continue to talk.

"Okay, here we are" he says, holding his arms out.

You look up and read the old sign on the building.

Baumann's Fine Books - A Vintage Book Store

Your eyes shift to him and he rocks back on his feet.

"This is my favorite book store in all of New York City. It's kind of a hidden gem. I have found a lot of amazing books here. I thought you'd like it"

You can see how nervous he is trying to explain himself. You can't help but smile.

"Austin, this is so sweet" you reply and take a step forward. You wrap your arms around his body and bring him in for a hug.

You feel it linger as his arms wrap around you and give you a squeeze.

"Well, let's go inside! There's a ton we have to look at" he says.

He swings open the door and allows you to walk in first. Another point for him being a gentleman.

Your mouth drops as your scan the small store. There were books everywhere. They were stacked in piles, some on display, some in rows. It looked like the walls were made out of books!

"This is....wow" you say as you gaze at the walls.

Austin nods. "I know, I was a little overwhelmed when I first came in here but you get used to it"

You peruse the aisle and come across a section were older books lay.

"Oh my god" you say, pulling out a thick, red, book.

The title read, Gone with the Wind.

"That's a classic" Austin says, leaning over your shoulder to read the title.

You look up at him, his face is inches away from yours.

"This is my favorite book of all time" You run your fingers along the cover. The book looks about 90 years old but it was in great shape.

You hold it close to your chest and smile.

"I'm buying this" you say aloud. Austin smiles, "Good" and walks down the aisle to look at more books.

About 15 minutes later, Austin walks over to you with a book in hand.

"You ready? I just found an entire book with all of Shakespeare's tragedies" he says as he looks down at the book and flips through the pages.

"Wow! I love Shakespeare. You'll have to let me borrow that sometime" you say.

He looks up at you and winks.

"Of course"

You walk up to the cashier and place the book on the counter.

"Cash or credit?" the cashier asks.

"Credit" you say and fish your wallet out of your purse.

You unzip and immediately gasp.

"Oh no" you say, frantically looking in each slot.

"What's wrong?" Austin asks.

"My card" you cry. "It's not here"

You have no idea where it could be. You are always responsible and never misplace anything. This wasn't like you!

"It's okay, where do you think the last place you had it was?" Austin asks. He places a hand on your shoulder and you feel your body become warm.

"I....uh...I don't remember" you say, trying to recall where it could be.

You look down and sigh when it finally comes to you. "Shit. I left it at the hotel bar last night. I never closed my card"

Austin takes out his wallet and places his card on the counter.

"Good, now we know where it is"

You look at him and furrow your eyebrows.

"What are you doing?"

He places his book on the counter and smiles at you.

"I'm buying you this book" he says as if it was obvious.

"No, I can't let you do that, Austin" you say. "It's $135!"

Austin shrugs, "Stop it, I want to. It's something you really want and you deserve it"

You let your shoulders relax and you bite your lip. This man was everything you have dreamed of.

"That's very sweet of you, thank you. I owe you" you say.

Austin shakes his head and pays for the books. You walk out of the store and down the street toward the hotel.

Suddenly, Austin's phone rings. He fishes it out of his pocket and looks at the screen.

You look over and see the name "Kaia" on his phone once more.

He presses the side button again.

This girl Kaia had to be his girlfriend. There was no way it could be anyone else...you wonder why he has yet to mention her.

"So, when we get back to the hotel, would you like to grab a drink? I mean, your card is already open" Austin jokes.

You giggle and nod. "I'd love to"

You both arrive at the hotel and walk over to the bar.

The same bartender from last night was there cleaning a glass with a rag.

"Hello sir, my friend, [Y/N] here, seems to have left her card from last night" Austin says.

The word "friend" made your stomach twist. You didn't want to be his friend. You definitely wanted more than that.

The man nods.

"Yes, miss, you did. I have it right over here" he says.

"Please close it for her and take mine" Austin says and hands the man his debit card.

"Hey! Stop, paying for everything!" you exclaim.

Austin laughs and takes a seat on the stool.

"Don't worry about it, I want to treat you"

You shake your head. "Fine, then I'll be ordering the most expensive drink on the menu" You cross your arms and pretend to be mad.

Austin scoffs, "Have I mentioned you're really funny?"

You shrug, "You might have"

The bartender hands you your card and takes your drink order. Another chardonnay and a whiskey sour.

Austin's phone rings again. He sighs loudly and takes it out of his pocket and checks the screen.

Kaia.

You clear your throat. "So....may I ask you a question?"

Austin nods and hits the side button again.

"Sure, anything"

You look at him and try to decide how to ask the question but for some reason, it made you nervous so you couldn't get it out properly.

"So...like...what's up?" you ask.

Austin laughs and makes a face.

"Nothing much, what's up with you?"

You shake your head and get serious.

"I mean...what's up with your....life....like...are you....like single, married, divorced?" you spew out. You feel your cheeks become red with embarrassment.

Austin looks down at his phone and breathes in.

"Wow, you sound like a legal document" he laughs.

You smirk and throw your hands up. "I don't know, I was just wondering"

Austin sighs, "Um...well, to answer your question, yes. I do have a girlfriend"

You glance up at him and could feel the disappointment wash over.

Just then, the bartender comes over with a bottle of chardonnay.

"More wine, miss?" he asks as he holds up the wine for you to see.

You push the glass towards him.

"Please" you utter.

#austin butler x reader #austin butler #elvismovie #austin butler fanfic #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler smut #elvis2022 #kittenlittle24 #venxfinn3 #queenslandlover-93 #tubble-wubble #dre6ming

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angelkin-food-cake · 7 months

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Hiya! I'm an infernal felinekin looking for quick but yummy and nutritious, protein rich meals I can toss together for lunch and dinner. I'm living my best life eating pretty much just a pan fried protein + roasted veggies + honeyed fruit for dessert, and would love some more inspo. I'm big on sweet and spicy flavors, I love any white fish + salmon, shrimp, rabbit, venison, and beef (but not huge on pork or most poultry, though I'll eat eggs), and I don't tend to eat a lot of grains in general but will be willing to eat wild rice and whole grains as long as it's not the main part of my meal. I adore some good, hearty veggies, but most legumes don't really do it for me. Can't stand eggplant or tomatoes. Typically, I like my meals to feel both fancy and refined but also like I could really sink my teeth into it and taste the freshness of the kill. Think crisp and juicy textures? thank you so much!

Hello! Here's some suggestions for you!

Wild Mushroom and Beef Stew

Brown Sugar Flank Steak

Baked Fish with Lemon Butter and Capers

Slow-Cooked Short Rib Ragu

Tsukune

Grilled Salmon with Avocado Salsa

Soy Sauce Eggs (Shoyu Tamago)

Garlic & Rosemary Grilled Lamb Chops

Hope you enjoy these, sorry for the slow reply! Have a great day ♥

#ask #anon #catkin #otherkin #cat therian #therian #request

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mur-art · 2 years

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Some WTTT New Mexico Headcanons

I’ve lived in like 8 states in my life so I figured I’d do some WTTT headcanons based on my experiences living in each of them. First up is New Mexico bc I love him.

(Disclaimer: These are based on observations I made from living in northern New Mexico for 2 years. I’m not a native New Mexican, and as such, there are definitely cultural subtleties I’m sure I missed. Please let me know if there’s anything you would add or change! Also, I’m pretty sure a few of these things are already canon in WTTT but hey...)

· He bonds with Nevada about alien/government conspiracy theories. (Have he and Nevada ever interacted in canon? I can’t remember…but if they do, it should be about aliens. Or nukes.)

· New Mexico is very matter-of-fact, almost too casual about his supernatural observations. Like yeah, he saw some weird grey dudes in a spaceship abduct a cow, but that’s just a Tuesday in Burque, no? He’s seen weirder…

· He complains whenever the humidity reaches 30% or higher. (Florida is extremely confused by this, refusing to believe that the humidity can get lower than 50%)

· He doesn’t really care about being on time to things. His philosophy is that “I’ll get there when I get there.”

· He’s okay with simplicity and tradition. He doesn’t really seek out drastic change, and he’s okay with doing things the way he’s always done them because “if it works, it works, no?” As a result, he’s very down-to-earth and had a lot of pride in himself and his people.

· He’s a really good cook, and he doesn’t just make chile. Some of his other staple foods include posole (hominy), calabacitas (sauteed zucchini and summer squash), carne adovada (pork marinated in red chile), sopapillas (pillow shaped fried pastry served with honey), and biscochitos (a crisp butter cookie flavored with sugar, cinnamon, and anise).

· He will get BIG MAD if you call any of the above recipes “Mexican food.”

· He loves f***ing with people. He’s a huge prankster and will NOT hesitate to shit-talk you in front of everyone. (But in a friendly way)

· His politics are hard to classify. He’s known as a “blue state” but he’s not particularly liberal. He’s pretty cynical about politics, believing wholeheartedly that the U.S. government is corrupt and he has to look out for himself because no one else will (historically, he’s not wrong). Most of his political beliefs come from that undercurrent of defiance.

· He has no idea what a “Cardi B” is, but jams música nuevo mexicana and Selena on the regular. He also loves classic rock. (Blame Route 66 nostalgia.)

· He doesn’t say much to the other states outside of his circle, but he loves to chat for hours with people he knows well. It’s kind of a cliché, but he literally does know pretty much everyone… and their mom, and their grandma, and their dog, and all their great-uncles going back 5 generations…

· He’s pretty chill and laid-back most of the time, but the following things inevitably make him *BIG MAD*

-Anyone (looking at you, Colorado) that dares to call his chile inferior.

-Getting compared to Mexico/being called Mexican.

-Texas, in general. For reasons.

-Breaking Bad references (It gets old.)

-People who try to whitewash NM’s history or culture/people that forget he existed for literal centuries before 1912.

· He’s a member of the “cool flag club.” He’s not quite as obsessed with his flag as Maryland is, but almost. Don’t let his comment in his “welcome” episode fool you; he already has at least 5 Zia sun tattoos. He conveniently ignores the fact that it’s technically cultural appropriation.

· He creates many kinds of art and his work is extremely quirky. When asked to explain the thought process behind his art, he’ll say something like “I dunno, it came to me in a dream, man.”

· He actually doesn’t hate Colorado. Besides the chile rivalry, they get along relatively well. He definitely gives off cynical big brother vibes, with Colorado being the ditzy little brother whose head is always (literally and figuratively) in the clouds. New Mexico thinks Colorado is kind of an idiot, but in an affectionate way. NM loves shit-talking him (see above) but half the time it goes way over Colorado’s head.

#welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #wttt headcanons #wttt new mexico #ben brainard

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traditionalfemininewoman · 1 year

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Pie Baking Advice

People have a misconception that because glass is a poor conductor of heat it doesn’t make for a good pie pan. But throughout my many decades of baking, I’ve found that not to be the case.

Although metal pans conduct heat better, glass more than makes up for that because it is clear, so radiant energy can pass through the pan and help the crust bake. Metal and ceramic pans impede this.

That means that although glass takes slightly longer to reach the same temperature as the oven, it cooks crusts faster and darker. This is why many cookbooks suggest lowering the oven temperature by 25 degrees when using glass, so the filling can catch up.

The downside with glass, is that it’s more slippery than metal, making it easier for crusts to shrink and slouch, even when secured with pie weights.

Easy solution: Add a touch of baking powder to the dough. It helps the crust expand into the pie plate, which is good no matter what your pie pan is made of.

Personally, I like glass because I hate guesswork. I like to see I’m getting the color I want. But, you can make a great crust in any pan as long as you start with a good dough.

So how to choose a pan? If you want more control and don’t mind a little shrinking (or if you are comfortable experimenting with baking powder), go with glass. If you would rather give up control of the color for a neater shape without altering your dough recipe, choose metal. Ceramic pans make the prettiest presentation, though they are the slowest to bake.

Maybe the better question is: what is your pie priority?

Pre-Baking Dilemma

Should you, or should you not, bake a pie crust before you slip the filling into it?

The question stirs up such a quandary that Dorie Greenspan, a prominent cookbook author and one of the owners of a newly hatched New York cookie company called Beurre and Sel, can’t quite figure out how to answer it. “This is a big issue,” she said. “It’s huge. This is really a problem issue.”

Purely from the standpoint of flavor and color and texture, the simple answer is yes: pre-baking a crust crisps it up and helps prevent it from going soggy when it comes in contact with the filling.

Then you’re ready to pour in the filling (which, in the summer of Ms. Greenspan’s dreams, would be blueberries). You add a top crust before a follow-up stretch in the oven.

But here’s the catch: In spite of all that, Ms. Greenspan usually does not bake her crust in advance. To affix that top crust, you have to use a sleight-of-hand, moistening the rim of the pre-baked bottom crust and getting the raw dough of the top crust to stick to it. “Somehow it feels like a trick and un-American,” she said. “It’s not the way American pies are supposed to be made. I prefer it pre-baked, but I don’t do it.”

Maybe, she suggested, a touch of sogginess is not the end of the world. What she’ll sometimes do, before filling the bottom crust, is to sprinkle an absorbent layer of challah pieces or cake crumbs along its top, to sop up (theoretically) some of the liquid.

The Right Thickener

You want to cut nice, neat wedges of that summer pie. The pieces of fruit must nestle cozily and close, thickly bound, and not run off into a soupy puddle. Do you reach for flour to bolster the filling? Cornstarch? Arrowroot? Tapioca? Nothing?

Ron Silver, an owner of the TriBeCa restaurant Bubby’s who co-wrote “Bubby’s Homemade Pies” and has held a pie social with home bakers for the last 10 years, said his thinking on thickeners has evolved.

He started using just flour years ago when he tried to enter the Pillsbury Bake-Off. (He was disqualified from the competition for amateurs because he did his baking at Florent, where he was the breakfast cook.) But now he prefers something along the lines of a butter and flour roux.

“I toss the fruit with flour and then add melted butter,” he said. “It’s classic and the most flavorful.”

“When you have very juicy fruit like raspberries or cherries, instant tapioca is also good,” he said. Tapioca turns clear and glossy, does not impart a starchy flavor and adds interesting little gelatinous beads to the texture.

But for a fresh blueberry pie, Mr. Silver’s favorite, his choice is cornstarch. He cooks half the berries to make a thick sauce with sugar, lemon juice and the starch, which has first been dissolved in cold water. He then folds this mixture into the rest of the raw blueberries to fill a cooked pie shell. He does not bake the pie further, but lets it set for about two hours before serving.

You might get away with no thickener (just sugar and melted butter) especially with denser fruits like figs, stone fruit, apples and pears. But thickened or not, it’s important to wait two to three hours before cutting into the pie, allowing the filling time to settle so the juices released by the oven’s heat are reabsorbed.

Choosing the Fat for a Crust

As American as apple pie, the saying goes. But according to the food scientist Harold McGee, our national identity resides specifically in the crust.

“As a country,” he said, “we value a macroscopic discontinuousness in our pie crust.”

To translate: A pie crust that shatters into large crumbs and shards when you press your fork through it is good. A crust that crumbles into sand or needs to be sawed through is bad.

Fortunately, that patriotic, macroscopic discontinuousness can be achieved with flour, water and almost any cool, semisolid fat such as butter, lard, suet or vegetable shortening.

But which is best?

When Mr. McGee wrote his magisterial study “On Food and Cooking” in 1984, he came down in favor of vegetable shortening, because its consistent proportions of fat, water and air make it easier to produce flaky crusts. But since then he has modified that position, leaning toward the savor that butter and lard add. (Also, the hydrogenation process used to make vegetable shortening was later found to produce trans fats, which are unhealthy when consumed in large quantities.)

For a truly ideal pie crust, you would need a fat with the flavor of butter, the water content of lard and the temperature flexibility of vegetable shortening. When temperature is an issue, shortening is the clear winner. While a crust is being mixed and rolled, the butter needs to stay between 58 and 68 degrees to achieve the right texture: shortening works at anywhere from 53 to 85 degrees.

“The Fourth of July brings a hot kitchen and hot hands,” Mr. McGee said. He said that not only the fat but also the flour should be chilled until the last possible moment.

Lacking that fantasy fat, Mr. McGee said the proper choice is a matter of technical skill and personal preference. Sometimes the flavor of butter can be too aggressive: just as many chocolate cakes and banana breads are made with neutral oil to let the flavor of the main ingredient shine through, a plain crust made with vegetable shortening can be desirable.

#pie baking #baking #baking tips #traditional femininity #baking tools #femininity #traditional feminine #traditional values #traditionalism #traditional gender roles #traditional woman #traditional wife #women in the kitchen

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peace-coast-island · 1 year

Text

Diary of a Junebug

Thoughts on injustice over coffee and fancy bagel sandwiches

Sunrose Plaza is a charming little island that’s pretty underrated if you’re not from the area. Cheyenne and Dani like to spend a couple days up there for a short vacation, often bringing others with them as the place owned by Dani’s grandma is huge. So along with me and Daisy Jane, Sophea, Dani’s brother Dixon, and Cheyenne’s friend Mika are also tagging along.

The cottage is really nice and there’s more than enough rooms for everyone. Dani says the reason why the houses are so big is because they’re meant for multiple families as the island used to be more touristy back then. Her grandma kinda got the place on a whim, only to end up moving to another country a few years later, meaning she doesn’t have the time to manage things over there. As a result, although the property’s still under their grandma’s name, Dani and Dixon pretty much oversee everything.

One of the must visit places in Sunrose is the Oceanic Coffee Bar, known for its dark roast and fancy bagel sandwiches. I’m in no way exaggerating when I say that they have the best bagels I’ve ever had. Their bagel sandwiches are pretty much one big meal, the kind that’s so good but really filling - meaning that you want another one but you can’t eat another bite.

Now I wanna make bagel sandwiches - they aren’t hard to make but I’m lazy. Also, I think I’m spoiled by Oceanic’s bagels, so even though mine will probably turn out good, it won’t be the same. To be fair, you can’t really mess up a bagel sandwich unless, I don’t know, burn the bagel to a crisp or put something in that you don’t like.

The coffee’s pretty good too and they go perfectly with the food. They also serve milk tea and lattes, which are especially popular this time of year as the weather’s still a bit chilly. They say the reason why the milk tea’s so good is because the tea’s imported from Japan, which is also probably why it’s not too sweet. With such high quality tea blends, you shouldn’t be adding too much stuff or else you lose the delicate flavors.

Normally, Dani and Dixon would be visiting the island later in the year - usually around early summer - but they figured an early vacation’s what they need right now. In fact, this is the first time in a couple years since the siblings are staying at the cottage together as their schedules don’t usually line up. Cheyenne usually travels with Dani while Dixon visits later in the year with his friends.

Sophea was around the area on unofficial business with Mika, something that also sorta involves Cheyenne and Dani. The story about that unfolded over coffee and bagels at Oceanic and all I can say is that I hope everything turns out all right.

Sometimes I wonder, why are people so mean? Not just like petty stuff, I mean, some people can just be downright insensitive and cruel. Like, I’m concerned about how some feel little to no disregard for their actions. Maybe it’s just me but I don’t understand how you can hurt someone and not feel any remorse or consider that maybe you shouldn’t have done that. And those are usually the same people who act baffled when others condemn their actions. I just don’t understand.

The story goes back about six years ago at Cali U, a prestigious university in southern California whose reputation hasn’t been the same since that incident. Mika was a student there for two years before dropping out, Dani and Dixon’s father was a faculty member before being forced to resign because of the incident. In short, it’s one of those stories where being rich and white means you can pretty much get away with murder - literally.

Six years ago Mika’s sister Brenda was killed in a car accident right outside campus. The driver of the other car was Cherrie Arnold, daughter of the former chancellor who saw Brenda as a rival. Her boyfriend at the time, Mika’s former best friend, Ian, was also at the scene of the crime. Not only those two weren’t injured, they pretty much got off with no punishment even though both were allegedly under the influence.

To go back further, Brenda and Cherrie were in a rivalry - or at least, Cherrie saw Brenda as a threat. Brenda was an aspiring actress and for a time she was Dani’s mentor, which was how they got to know each other. Cheyenne also did a few shows with her as understudies and she never understood why Brenda was treated the way she was at Cali U as they always got along well.

Mika and Brenda were kind of outsiders as they stuck out compared to their wealthy southern Californian born and bred peers. They were originally from the midwest, having moved in high school when their father got promoted. Being lower upper middle class as well as being half Chinese and half Irish served as barriers for the Langs in ways that they never could have imagined.

According to Mika, Cheyenne, and Dani, Brenda had a rough start in college. Academically she was doing fine but socially she was having problems with friends - some which had been ongoing, particularly with her ex-best friend. It was during that time she met Dani and Dixon, and later Cheyenne.

She also began to take acting more seriously, putting herself out there in hopes of making a strong first impression. Unlike pretty much everyone else in the theater program, Brenda didn’t have any advantages like one would expect of people from LA in terms of wealth and nepotism. So she relied on talent and dedication alone, which caught the drama department’s attention. Of course, that made the others jealous and they became suspicious of her.

At the end of the spring semester, the drama department was so impressed by Brenda’s performances that they asked her to spend a summer in London, which she accepted. It was a big opportunity and one that could’ve been life changing for her. Cherrie and a few others resented her as they felt that they deserved the opportunity more than she did. As for Brenda’s friends, they kinda brushed that aside - Mika suspects that was another reason why she decided to spend the summer abroad - so really it was only him, a few - two - close friends in their group, Dani, and Cheyenne who were excited for her.

Then it all went downhill from there. Brenda had a great time in London and was offered to transfer to the university over there on a scholarship. Except the tuition was still super expensive and money was tight so Brenda had to reluctantly turn down the offer. Mika said that was probably the biggest mistake they ever made because if she stayed in London, she would still be alive.

It’s one of those things that still gets to him and his family. He said if he could go back in time, he’d tell Brenda to stay in London, to focus on her future and not come back home until it’s absolutely safe. If his parents couldn’t get the money to keep her there, maybe he could’ve come up with something. Who knows? It’s wishful thinking and I don’t blame him.

That fall, Brenda returned to Cali U with a cold reception. By then Cherrie and Ian began dating and Cherrie had her eyes on Brenda, plotting her downfall. Mika had been too wrapped up with student government stuff to really notice that their friend group was falling apart. Dani started hanging out with Brenda more and in the few times she spoke with a couple of her friends, she had sensed that something was off but it wasn’t in her place to really say or do anything.

I mean, that’s understandable - if I was having drama with one group of friends, I’d prefer to keep that private. And on the other side, I wouldn’t feel comfortable stepping in on a situation where I’m unfamiliar with what’s going on.

Later Brenda got the lead in a major production, which was a pretty big deal. Cherrie, who was her understudy, became vindictive of Brenda and managed to turn Ian against her by suggesting that Brenda slept with the director to get the part. Rumors spread and aside from a few, most of Brenda and Mika’s friend group either turned against her or kept quiet.

As the rumors became more vicious, so did Cherrie and Ian. Cherrie began telling people about how much she hated Brenda and that it would be a shame if something happened to her. Brenda’s ex-best friend reportedly warned Brenda that Cherrie was out to physically harm her, but Mika finds that questionable as Kate never jumped in to defend her friend at all, nor was she supportive of Brenda’s acting career in general. He and Brenda were aware of Cherrie’s threats and they did report it to security several times but nothing happened.

A few weeks later, Brenda and Cherrie got into a fight during rehearsals. Later that night, Brenda was leaving campus when Cherrie slammed into her, causing Brenda to lose control and hit a tree while Cherrie and Ian escaped unharmed. According to some new evidence that recently popped up, had help arrived much sooner, there’s a likely possibility that Brenda would’ve survived.

In short, because Cherrie and Ian came from wealthy and powerful families, they pretty much got away scotch free, much to Mika’s dismay. Not too long after the verdict, Mika dropped out, but not before writing a scathing article criticizing the university for how they handed things. As a result, an investigation was launched that resulted in many faculty members resigning, Cherrie’s father and Dani and Dixon’s father being the most notable. From how the university failed to do anything when Cherrie was publicly making threats towards his sister and letting her get away with murder, Mika has every right to be angry.

As for Dani and Dixon, their father losing his job - fired is more accurate than resigned - that marked the beginning of the end for him. By then their parents were having difficulties with their marriage and it was getting to the point where he was having problems at work - that was his excuse. Dani and Dixon still don’t know what to believe - all they know is that he tends to ignore things he doesn’t wish to see and that was his undoing. A few months later he walked out and that was it. A few years later he was dead.

As for Mika’s old friends, after doing the whole song and dance about how she was a good friend and such, most of them pretty much acted like Brenda never existed. Those who saw her as a rival - most of the drama students - were downright cruel and insensitive, making remarks about how they’re glad that there’s less competition for the good parts and stuff. Mika knew that he was gonna be their next target of scorn which was why he didn’t stick around after exposing the university. That, and Cherrie and Ian wouldn’t be safe the second he saw them.

Years passed and everyone moved on for the most part. Dani had considered going to Cali U to join their drama program alongside Brenda and obviously that didn’t work out. She ended up going to Cheyenne’s alma mater and became good friends with her. Dixon moved to LA, becoming a rapper and music producer. Mika took a couple years off and is currently taking classes at Riverbank, majoring in political science and sociology. The three of them meet up every once in a while just to hang out and catch up and Cheyenne occasionally joins them when she’s in the area.

Around the same time new evidence popped up regarding the incident, Ian and Kate made a short film that they claimed was their original work. In reality, the script was written by Brenda with help from Mika. Dixon was the first to find out as he saw the film with a friend and though some parts were familiar. Dani had not only read the script through when Brenda was writing it, she also had a copy, and aside from a few minor changes, it was pretty much identical.

After confirming that, Dani and Dixon warned Mika, who then confronted Ian and Kate. Aside from indifference, Ian and Kate didn’t really put up much of a fight when word got out. Dani said it was strange - first they denied the claims but once the evidence was put in front of their faces, they didn’t seem guilty. They were pretty much like, she’s dead so it’s not like anyone really cares since they’re famous and she’ll never be. Damn, so much for being friends. Mika hopes that’ll be the absolute last he’ll ever see of them.

Sophea doesn’t think it’s a coincidence that the thing with the script and the new investigation happening around the same time. The script was purely unrelated and yet maybe it’s a sign. While Mika’s article forced Cali U to take responsibility, it doesn’t change the fact that Cherrie and Ian still basically got away with what happened. To Mika, that was just a hollow victory. Sure, it brought some awareness, but it wasn’t gonna bring his sister back.

When Mika heard that the case was opening back up, he knew he had to see it through. There was absolutely no way he was going to rest until justice is served, even if it means confronting parts of the past he hid away from for so long. As for Dani and Dixon, they had always suspected that their father’s negligence played a bigger role than what he claimed, so he too needs to be held accountable for his actions. Dani hadn’t known Brenda for long and she always wished that she got to know her better as they were well on the way to becoming good friends. Cheyenne says the same.

It’s too early to tell but Sophea and Mika say that there’s a good reason why the case is opening up again. With new information like why it took so long for help to arrive or why campus security was negligent - in short, the whole thing could’ve been prevented. And it’s not just about Brenda - it could lead to other incidents of harassment and bullying that were swept under the rug being brought back to light. Sophea says there’s many layers to this and the more you look into it, the worse it looks. For now we can just hope that something good will come out of it.

I feel for Mika and Dani, I really hope that they can get justice for Brenda’s senseless death. As for Cherrie, Ian, and everyone who was willing to ignore what was going on, I hope she haunts them for the rest of their lives. Mika doesn’t seem like someone bent on revenge, he just wants those responsible to be held accountable. The bar’s so fucking low yet somehow here we are.

Right now things have been going slowly but smoothly. Still, the whole thing has taken a lot out of them so it’s good that they all have some downtime right now. Dani wasn’t exaggerating about the bagels - they really do help lift the mood after talking about heavy topics.

Tomorrow’s our last full day here and I’m already starting to miss it. It’ll be more of the same - sightseeing, shopping, and hanging out at the coffee bar. Then the day after, we’re gonna have breakfast over there and stock up on bagel sandwiches before hitting the road.

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#animal crossing #animal crossing pocket camp #Diary of a Junebug #headcanon ramble

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