#the grapes were just a couple months ago now

[bunniepaws]

i don’t think i’ll ever eat another apple that was as tasty or as sweet as the one i had when i was like 12 on a pumpkin patch hayride at 5 pm in perfect weather. or grapes that were crispier and more flavorful than the ones i had in my boyfriends kitchen at two am w bare feet on cold tile.

#personal #i was originally gonna post this on twitter but i expanded it and got sad/sentimental so it goes here now #the other sensations were important to the memory too #it was a gala apple and it was SO fucking good i haven’t had an apple that good since #the grapes were just a couple months ago now #but they were the best fucking grapes id ever had #HUGE and CRISP and such good flavor #i find a lot of other grapes to not have as much flavor as those did #so i’ll remember those grapes forever…….. and that apple…………… #fruit tastes best in a nice place and w a smile (: #anyway #it’s almost seven am goodnight

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for not getting my roommate a birthday gift and insulting them when they got mad about it?

I don’t really think I’m the asshole (or at least the only asshole) but it’s become such a Situation I need some outside input.

So I and my roommate Ollie (both 18, gender irrelevant) have been living together in a college dorm for a couple months now. We aren’t friends, but we’re friendly. We talk a little in passing but nothing more. We get along for the most part, but my main issue is that Ollie has so much stuff.

I’ve lived with it for months but it’s always a mild annoyance. There’s stuff on our bathroom counter, the kitchen counter, always dishes in the sink and their desk is always a mess. We have separate sides of the room and separate spaces for our food and dishes in the sink and for our shower stuff and bathroom stuff but it still drives me crazy because there’s always clutter around. I haven’t talked to them about it because I don’t want them to get mad at me for trying to micromanage them—I don’t know if they would’ve but now they definitely would.

Also, I think we have a pretty big gap in how much money we have. We both have a meal plan so we can eat at the cafeteria on campus but their part of the fridge is always overflowing. They have a ton of expensive and what look like kinda redundant products, like five bottles of perfume on their desk, and I even saw cotton candy grapes in the fridge?? I haven’t been to the store in a while but I don’t think those are cheap. There’s also a ton of Starbucks and takeout food in the trash too. I on the other hand have to save the money I have (a couple hundred) to put towards a summer class. Even if I wanted to get them a birthday gift, I think it would come down to that or, like, gas money to go home for a weekend

Ollie’s birthday was a little over a week ago. They spent the day out with their friends from what I could tell off social media and when they came back they had a few grocery bags and an Amazon box or two, and once they set them down they asked me what I’d gotten for them.

I asked what they were talking about, and they said for their birthday. I told them I didn’t get them anything and then they started mumbling about fake friends and how they were nothing but nice to me and I couldn’t even give them anything in return. I’m not great on social cues so they might have been joking or sarcastic here but I told them they were crazy if they thought I was gonna add to any of their piles of useless stuff around here and called them a hoarder (that may be too harsh but I mean, I saw a Wendy’s receipt from October on their desk last week. It’s February.) They got really pissed and started swearing at me and I forget most of what was said after that but it escalated, we ended up screaming, they left for the night, it was bad.

Since then their friend from high school, we’ll call her Ruby (21F I think) has been blowing up my phone. Telling me I have no right to talk to Ollie like that, that I’m a shitty friend and she ought to just block me (we aren’t friends so idk where this one came from), and told me that apparently Ollie’s mom was some kind of a reclusive hoarder and Ollie has been crying and worrying about becoming like her. I honestly don’t believe this last one because I met their mom when we moved in last September and she seemed like a completely nice person.

Ollie hasn’t been back here. I think they got their essentials while I was in class and is staying with Ruby now, she lives in a building just off campus. I reached out to make sure they were okay and, you know, alive, and they just said “don’t fucking text me I’m fine don’t worry about it.” I have pretty bad anxiety, it’s been six days and it’s still almost all I can think about. I feel like I should apologize but I’m honestly not sure if I’m in the wrong or not. So, aita?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[writershapeholeonthedoor]

Cool kids

Pairing: Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader

Summary: Elizabeth meets your son

Disclaimer: English is not my first language; This was requested by one of you 🤗

MASTERLIST

You were just putting the baking pan inside the oven when you heard the doorbell ring from across your small house. Surprised, you looked up at the old clock hanging on the wall above the fridge - and, for a second, you realized how old it actually looked and you wished you had removed it from there before, but there was no time now - and saw that you lost track of time while baking, which wasn’t unusual. That day, though, you were extra nervous about everything and time seemed to have rushed just to spite you.

Noticing you still hadn’t moved, you cursed under your breath and closed the oven before grabbing a dishrag to dry out your hands while you rushed to answer the door. You knew who was waiting for you outside, so you stopped just in front of the door to take a deep breath and steady your heartbeat. Your gaze moved to the side and you caught sight of your four-year-old son playing with his toy cars on the mat, exactly where you had left him when you went to the kitchen, while one of his favorite cartoons played in the background.

It of course wasn’t his fault but your anxiety was mostly because of him and the person standing at the other side of the door. That was the first time your girlfriend would meet your son, something you thought a lot about before going on with that idea. You had been dating Elizabeth Olsen for a bit over four months now and it had been a dream ever since you crossed eyes while being at the same art gallery. You were there to support your friend, but Elizabeth was there because she really enjoyed those types of things, although you quickly bonded while looking at the paintings.

You couldn’t say you had been inseparable ever since because you had your work, your son and a house to take care of all by yourself, and Elizabeth had her own life going on, but you two had seen each other as much as you could. You told her about your son on the same night you met and she had never once made it seem like you being a single mother was a problem to her, but you still waited to introduce her to your son because you wanted to know her better before doing so. Also, you didn’t want to bring someone into your son’s life who would just walk away after that, or someone who didn’t actually care for him. He deserved more than that, especially at such a young age.

It all brought you to that moment, when your nerves were certainly getting the best of you while Elizabeth was still waiting for you to open the door for her. It was also the first time your girlfriend would be inside your house, something that made you much aware of how simple everything you owned was. There was a wall in front of the couch with a huge line drawn with crayons when your son was being a little brat a couple of years ago, the couch had a stain on it from when he dropped his grape juice, and that stupid clock in the kitchen could have been older than yourself.

And that was also not the best time to rethink every decoration in your house, for sure.

Not to mention the fact that this was the first time you were introducing anyone to your kid. You had dated briefly after he was born, but no one stayed around for enough time neither had them made you feel safe again about bringing them to your son’s life. You weren’t nervous about letting Elizabeth be a part of his life, but you were nervous about how he would react to having someone new around.

“Momma,” you heard your son saying, instantly snapping you out of your thoughts. You looked at him, at his round cheeks and perfect little curly hair, and you couldn’t help but smile wildly. “There’s someone at the door.”

His words were still a bit slurred, but that, along with the way his little hand raised to point at the door, made your heart feel warmer and your body relax. It was okay. Everything was okay.

With a deep breath, you opened the door finally and were immediately surprised by your girlfriend’s beauty - although it wasn’t exactly news for you anymore. Elizabeth was looking down at her shoes, probably getting a bit tired of waiting, but she looked up as soon as she heard the door and your eyes met almost like two pieces of a magnet. Her bright gorgeous green eyes never failed to make butterflies in your stomach, but it was her smile that took your breath away for a moment. Elizabeth always had a smile to bless you with.

“Hey,” she greeted you almost shyly.

“Hi,” you said, already reaching out as if you were going to pull her in for a kiss, however that’s when you remembered you still had the dishrag in your hands and you ended up blushing.

Elizabeth chuckled happily and leaned in to peck your lips the same way she did the other times she walked you to your door after a date. When she pulled away, she lifted her arm and you took notice of the thing she was carrying with her and that you hadn’t seen before since you were so busy staring at her eyes and lips. She was holding a small bouquet, very colorful and elegant, and it instantly brought a blush to your face.

“I, uh, I was taking care of my garden today and I picked this for you,” Elizabeth explained and the stutter in her words made you realize she was probably even more nervous than you were.

“Thank you, love,” you replied, picking the bouquet from her, and then reaching out to take her hand and gently pull her inside. “Are you nervous?”

“A little bit,” she admitted with a weird chuckle while she ran her sweaty palms down her jeans. You loved it when she dressed like that, just some jeans and a t-shirt, because it made her look so comfortable around you. “But I’m also excited. Can’t wait to meet the man that has my girl’s heart,” Elizabeth joked.

You laughed, closed the front door, and turned around to the living room. “Baby, can you come here for a second?” You called your son, who didn’t seem to be paying attention to what was going on around him. He looked up though and got up quickly when he noticed there was someone in his house that he didn’t know. He ran to hide behind your legs, hitting you with his little truck on the way, but you only smiled and placed a hand on top of his head. “He’s shy, I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Elizabeth assured you before she lowered herself to be at his eye level. “Hey, buddy. I’m Lizzie.”

She waved at him, offering the kid a big smile as well, and your son’s eyes raised to meet yours in confusion. You told him one of your friends would be around for dinner - since he was so young, you wanted to slowly tell him who Elizabeth was to you exactly - but you weren’t surprised he was suddenly too timid to interact with your girlfriend. He was just a kid and not used to meeting new people. Elizabeth, thankfully, seemed to understand that because she didn’t insist, nor did she try to reach out to him, but instead she pulled something from her pocket and showed him.

“Your mom told me you like cars, so I brought you this,” she said while turning around the memory game inside the box filled with Cars’ illustrations.

Your son’s eyes widened and he let go of your leg to reach out for it, but he still looked up at you to make sure it was okay. With a smile, you nodded and it didn’t take him long to grab the game with his hands. You were ready to ask him to thank her for the gift, but your son beat you to it, once again surprising you with how sweet your boy turned out to be.

“Thank you, Lizzie.”

“You’re welcome, buddy.” She smiled at him once again. “If your mom allows us, we can play it after dinner.”

“Only for a while,” you replied since you knew your son would ask you about it. “Then you need to go to bed, mister.”

“Okay, momma.” He didn’t complain and, after another second looking at his new game, he rushed away to go back to his toys in the living room.

Once he was gone, Elizabeth rose to her feet again and you quickly pulled her in to kiss her cheek. “Are you trying to buy my son’s affection?” You joked.

Her cheeks were pink when you took a step back. “Can you blame me? I wanted to have a good start.”

You chuckled and shook your head, but you weren’t surprised by that. That was just who she was, and it was innocent enough. “Well, thank you. For my flowers too. I love them.”

“I’m glad.”

“Come with me,” you asked, already turning to the kitchen. “I will put these on a vase and check out our dinner.”

All while at dinner time, your son kept the conversation going with his rambling, asking one question after another, barely giving you any time to think about a reply before he was already talking again. You saw that it amused Elizabeth, but she also made an effort to explain to your son how trains worked to give you a break. It was good to have someone else there, although you knew it was Elizabeth who made it so amazing by just being herself.

He was also relaxed enough around Elizabeth that, midway through his rambling, he pointed at her and said: “I saw you on television!” before he kept talking about his little cars. Elizabeth and you exchanged a look and then had to try hard not to laugh at his words, but you only shook your head at your boy’s antics. Once you were all done eating, you cleaned enough room on the table for Elizabeth to spread the cards of the game she brought so she could play with your son while you watched with your heart getting bigger and bigger inside your chest by the second.

That’s what you always hoped for. Someone who could love you and your son. You hadn’t told Elizabeth that you loved her yet, but you already knew it was the case. You couldn’t be sure how she felt, but she had a way to make you feel loved with her actions and other little things that have you hooked since day one.

And there, sitting by her side while she laughed with your son, you realized you made the right decision with her. She was a keeper.

#elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen x you #celebrity x reader #marvel #scarlet witch #wanda maximoff #fanfic #creative writing #my writing #drabble #fluff

[jeonqkooks]

kyoho | ksj

You love your grape boy, and your grape boy... well, he might just love you a little too much.

pairing: seokjin x f!reader

rating: pg13

genre/warnings: established relationship, swearing bc when is there no swearing in my fics, mentions of seggs, suggestive themes, fluff, crack?? idk, my brand of fics is Unedited y'all know that's how we roll

word count: 1.8k

notes: i've been buying a lot of grapes lately (am i a grape person now??) and i've been eating them almost every day and of course i had to think about grape jinnie my beloved, my ultimate favorite seokjin and i want him to come back to me :((( idk that's how this lil thang came to me lmao it's the most crackhead shit i've ever written sOoOoOoOo please laugh or else ! 👿 jk but not really

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

"If you do this, we're done."

"Y/N."

"I swear, if you go through with this, we are over!"

Seokjin sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, clearly not expecting you to be so passionate about the subject at hand. "The appointment is in an hour," he says.

"Cancel it. I don't care!" you cry. "Please don't do this. Don't take him away. He means the world to me."

Your boyfriend stares at you, mouth agape, then points to his head incredulously. "Him? My hair?"

"Yes!" You crawl over to his side of the couch to straddle his lap, actual tears welling in your eyes. You run your fingers through his hair, marveling at how soft and silky it feels in your hands. His gorgeous, gorgeous purple locks. The ones he's ready to sacrifice in favor of half blond, half red hair by demand of one Jeon Jungkook.

You shouldn't be this upset over him dyeing his hair, but you are, despite knowing full well that the purple will be gone soon anyway. His dark roots are starting to show already.

It's shark week, and there are not enough words in the dictionary to express how devastated you are that he's taking away your emotional support Grape Jinnie.

A couple months ago, when he told you that he'd be dyeing his hair purple, you were highly skeptical of the decision. You didn't know if he had the face to pull off purple of all colors, even though you had already seen him sport every other color of the rainbow and absolutely rocked every single one.

The whole week leading up to his salon appointment, you teased him endlessly - started calling him Grape Boy, bought him box after box of Kyoho grapes, photoshopping Kylie Jenner's purple hair onto his head and making it your lockscreen... It was mostly just grape puns, you were really milking that whole thing.

But then he came home, hair freshly bleached and colored, and your jaw dropped to the ground and stayed there for ten whole minutes.

Your eyes almost fell out of their sockets from how good he looked.

No, he didn't just look good. He was stunning, breathtaking, mindbogglingly beautiful and all the other synonyms that one could name.

The man fucking ate and left no crumbs.

That night was one of the best sex you two have ever had.

To say that you were obsessed with this shade on him is the understatement of the year.

"Don't do it," you plead. "If you really love me, you won't do it."

"You're being so dramatic. It's just hair." Seokjin puts his hands on your waist while you keep yours on his head, clutching his strands like a lifeline. "Plus, I have to honor the bet!"

Your expression turns stony then, as your eyes travel from the silky purple down to his face. You tighten your grip on his hair and tug on it sharply until your boyfriend is scowling in discomfort.

The bet. The stupid fucking bet he made with Jungkook.

You had explicitly told him there no chance in hell that he could win, but Seokjin could be an overly confident asshole sometimes.

He was in way over his head, and now you're the one suffering.

"You idiot," you hiss, pulling on his hair again, "why the fuck did you think you could do more pushups than Jungkook?"

"I don't know! We were tipsy and it seemed possible at the time!"

Releasing his hair, you tuck your face into the crook of his neck and inhale deeply.

"Why am I being punished for your actions?" you mumble against his skin, then you ask, voice full of futile hope. "What if you just... don't do it?"

"Then I have to buy him a new mattress. He cut his mattress with scissors to make it fit into his bed frame and now it's all fucked up."

You give yourself a minute to think. There has to be a solution to your distress. You just gotta think. Think, brain, think!

And then you remember. Seokjin is still a man.

You lean back to look at him properly, straightening your position on his lap. You give him your biggest puppy dog eyes before you say, "I promise I will blow you every day from now on if you keep the hair."

If he was drinking water, you're fairly certain that he would've choked. Your boyfriend's eyes widen in surprise, his skin turning a dozen shades warmer, blushing from his cheeks all the way to the top of his ears.

Bingo.

"What?" he asks, like this is something so scandalous.

You lean forward to pepper kisses all over his face, putting more weight on your offer. "I promise," you say, pecking his cute cheek, "to blow you," then his forehead, "every single day," then his nose, "from now on," and finally his lips.

You linger near his mouth, not pulling away just yet. Your lips brush against his once more until you feel his hands tighten on your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck to hold him closer as you press forward, giving him a proper kiss to seal the deal.

Seokjin practically melts underneath you. Victory is so close that you can taste it. You're doing this for the greater good of mankind, for Grape Jinnie. Jungkook can fuck off with his half seasoned, half fried bullshit.

But then, Seokjin abruptly rips away from you to shriek, nearly blowing your eardrums out. The suddenness of his movements almost make you tumble off the couch.

"No, don't try to tempt me! Mattresses are expensive as fuck!"

It's been a few hours. He should be back any minute now.

Ever since Seokjin left to go to his hair appointment after having to peel you off of him because you were clinging to his body like a goddamn koala, you've been wallowing in your misery. You even busted out the big guns - Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream (with real peanut butter cups!) - to help you through this difficult time.

You're in full grieving mode now. Goddamnit. Fate is a cruel mistress.

Or in this case, Jungkook. Jungkook is a cruel mistress. That fucking guy.

When you hear the door open and the subsequent clanging of Seokjin's keys as he hangs them on one of the hooks in the entryway, you prepare to give him the biggest pout you can manage.

But then, he comes into view a few seconds later, and you gasp. You actually gasp. Before he knows what's happening, you're rising from the couch and sprinting toward him, launching into his arms with the biggest smile on your face like a kid on Christmas morning.

"You're still a grape!" you squeal joyously.

Seokjin lets out a surprise Oof! at the sudden force of your body knocking the breath out of him.

"What a warm welcome," he mutters. "I don't think you've ever been this happy to see me."

"What happened?!" you ask, eyes wide, grin even wider. "Did you change your mind because you love me so much?"

You run your hands through his hair to make sure that it's real, that you're not hallucinating this because you just love the purple so goddamn much.

And it is! It's still here! His hair is still that luscious shade of purple that you adore with your entire being.

Seokjin eyes you for a moment before he says, "I compromised with Jungkook. Did something else instead."

"What did you do?"

"I got a tattoo."

"You what?!"

"He said I wouldn't have to dye my hair if I got a tattoo of his choosing."

"Oh, no," you try to sound sympathetic but fail miserably. You cover your mouth with your hand to hide your smile, already sensing the absolute crackhead chaos that will ensue in a matter of minutes. Having been friends with Jungkook for years, you know that dude comes up with the craziest shit sometimes.

Seokjin turns around and pulls up his shirt, and you almost die from the fit of ugly snorting laughter that immediately rips itself free from your mouth. His skin underneath the transparent cling film is still slightly red, but the letters adorning the expanse of his lower back is clear as day.

You cannot find it in yourself to blink, not when the black ink is just staring at you like that. The font, so formal and classic, and yet the content of it... what a contrast.

"Kim Seokjin!" you wheeze, wiping tears from your eyes and struggling to catch your breath. "How could you possibly think that this is a better idea than to just dye your hair!"

"You begged me to keep the hair!"

"I did," you agree, clutching your stomach as giggles continue wracking through your whole body. It's almost painful at this point. "But I don't want my boyfriend to have a tramp stamp that says fucking Chicken in Times New Roman!"

"It was either this," he says, turning back to face you, "or a sketch of his head on a chicken's body."

"What is up with him and chickens? Is that his new thing now?"

"I don't fucking know!"

"Well, thank you for doing that for me," you say appreciatively as you pull him in for a kiss, which isn't very graceful because you're still tittering the whole time. "But please tell me that's not permanent."

Seokjin stays quiet, his eyes dropping to the floor, and you stop laughing immediately.

"Oh my god," you say. "Is the Chicken tramp stamp permanent?!"

"No," he finally admits after a moment of hanging it over your head. As funny as the whole thing is, you do not want the love of your life to walk around sporting the most ridiculous tattoo in human history. "It's supposed to fade after a month."

You lean into him again, heaving a giant sigh of relief and wrapping your arms around his neck. One of your hands go for his hair again, weaving through the soft locks with your fingers because how could you not? "I love you, Grape," you say, pecking his cheek with a grin.

Seokjin rolls his eyes affectionately, but returns a peck to your own cheek. "I have a tramp stamp of the word Chicken and my parents might disown me for that, but at least you get to keep your Grape Boy," he says, making you giggle again.

"Because you love me so much, right?"

"Hmm. You're lucky I do."

You give him another kiss, one full of gratitude, for indulging your antics. When you move to return to the couch, Seokjin tugs on your wrist, pulling you back into him.

"Now correct me if I'm wrong," he says, acting all coy and shit, "but I recall you making me a promise earlier, no? What was it again?"

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 16.04.2023]

#seokjin x reader #seokjin fluff #seokjin smut #seokjin angst #seokjin x you #seokjin fanfic #seokjin imagines #bts x reader #bts x you #bts fluff #bts smut #bts angst #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bangtanbathhouse #bangtantheatrenet #btshoneyhive #clubzerooclock #52hertz #fic: kyoho

[madlittlecriminal]

Steven virgin anon here :) I thought about the same scenario so virgin reader with Steven but all of the other versions sound great too so just write whatever you find the most inspiring ;)

Blame the Glasses ☾ Steven Grant × Virgin!Female!Reader

Warnings: one mention of jake, steven with glasses deserves a warning, smut, oral (fem receiving), protected p in v, aftercare

Steven knew before you told him, but that was simply because of the way you reacted the one time he rested his hand on your thigh before kissing you about two months; you were a stuttering mess and that's how he was four years ago.

Now here you were, three years of friendship and out of the three, you have one year as a couple.

So, when you told him last month, he told you it was fine and there was nothing to worry about or be ashamed of and that he suspected it before you told him. However, he would be lying if he said he never thought about being your first because the thought crossed his mind once or twice after a heated make out session.

Tonight was different though and Steven felt it.

You sat on his desk chair eating a bowl of grapes while Steven sat on his bed with his glasses on, reading an Egyptian retelling to you. You couldn't lie though, the glasses made him unexplainably attractive...well, more than he already was in your eyes. You cleared your throat, trying to distract yourself from your boyfriend, but failed as he stopped reading and looking over at you, concern in his eyes. "You alright, love?" You nodded, but he didn't seem convinced as he got up and walked over to you. "What's the matter?" You looked away from him, but he took your chin into his fingers, gently making you look at him. "Love-"

You took off his glasses and took a deep breath, causing him to be confused. However, when he saw how quickly your chest rose and fell, he chuckled. "Oh, I see," you gulped, and he planted a kiss on your nose. "No worries, love. I'm not judging you." Steven made his way back to his bed and you let out a small whimper, shocking the both of you. You put the bowl on his desk and made your way to his bed, lying next to him. "So, you're just going to tease me like that?" He shrugged, reaching over to put his book on the shelf behind him. "Did you want a kiss, little dove?" You nodded and he smiled before pressing a soft kiss to your lips, causing you to kiss back.

Before you knew it, the kiss became heated with Steven pulling you on his lap and your hands tugging his already messy curls. He broke the kiss, letting you both catch your breaths in the process. "I don't want to rush you, love. We can stop." You shake your head as you felt his bulge from under his sweats. You could feel how soaked you were from that along with the thought of him wearing glasses and make out session you both just had. "I trust you, Steven."

"Are you sure, darling?" You nodded before planting a kiss on his forehead. "Yes," he gently pushed you down on the bed before he climbed on top of you and peppered kisses on your face. You let out a soft giggle and he smiled before going down and kissing your neck. You bite your lip, mindlessly grinding your hips up against Steven. He trailed his hands down your sides, but stopping when he grabbed on the hem of your shirt. He searched your face for approval and when you nodded, he lifted the shirt and took it off of you. He bit his lip a the sight of you before you reached behind you and unclasped your bra from him and slid it down your arms.

"Darling, you're beautiful." You blushed at his words before he went down and kissed each breast before pressing his lips on yours. You kissed him back while reaching for the hem of his sweater and taking it off of him. Your eyes locked on his dark brown ones, and he smiled. "We can stop whenever you want, love." You shake your head. "I don't want to. Not now." He nodded and reached down to take off your sweats. Once they were off, he let began leaving a trail of kisses on your thigh, stopping before he can get to your clothed core. You whimper softly and Steven hums. He slides his fingers through the waistband of your panties before looking at you, asking you for approval. When you nod, he takes them off and he groans at the sight. "You're dripping, darling,"

He cautiously lets his middle finger go up your folds, causing you to moan. Steven presses a kiss on your thigh before using his tongue to replace his finger. You grip the sheets, moaning his name as he slowly begins sucking your clit. Your free hand flies to his curls and you tug on them, gaining a moan from Steven. The vibration courses through your body, making you arch your back and squeeze your thighs around his face. If this is what just his mouth could do, you couldn't imagine what his cock could do to you. Just the thought alone made you more aroused and Steven felt it as he let his tongue slide into you. "Fuck Steven!"

As patient as he was, he couldn't hold it anymore.

He removed his mouth from you before going up and caging you under him. His mouth and chin glistened with your arousal, causing you to bite your lip. His lips met yours, letting you taste yourself on his lips. You hummed softly as his hands reached his sweats before he took them off along with his briefs. You gasped at the sight of him, and he rested a hand on your cheek. "Don't worry, love. I'll go slow, yeah?" You gulp before nodding. He reached over to the bedside table and pulled out a condom.

Thank you, Jake, for buying a new pack.

He tore it open before sliding it on and planting a kiss on your forehead. "You can stop me whenever, darling." You nodded as he slowly began to enter you. You gasp at the feeling before gripping his biceps. Steven bit his lip, stopping his movements so you can get used to him. After the small bit of pain, you felt began fading, you gave him the okay to move. He nodded and began thrusting slowly. Pleasure overtook your body, letting your fingers tangle into his hair, pulling on them softly. If you were being honest, you loved the low pace and not just because it was your first time, but because it screamed Steven; slow, gentle, and filled with love.

His lips met yours in another kiss, swallowing your moans as he continued his slow thrusts. Your legs wrapped around his waist, letting him sink deeper into you. He broke the kiss as he moaned, making your clench around him. "Faster," Steven did as you asked, picking up the pace just a little while he let one hand go in between your bodies, letting his finger play with your clit. You moaned as you arch your back, making Steven moan in the process. You felt a knot form in your stomach, and he felt your walls clench around him. "I feel it, love. Let go." You tug on his hair a little harder, letting yourself release around him. His thrusts never falters as he helps you ride out your high before he follows after you, releasing himself into the condom.

He rests his forehead on your shoulder as you both catch your breaths. He begins pulling out of you slowly, making you whimper at the loss of him inside you. He gives you a small smile before heading to the bathroom.

You waited for what felt like 10 minutes before Steven came out with a towel wrapped around his waist and heading towards you. He takes your hand, leading you to the bathroom. You gasped at the bubble filled tub before Steven told you to get in. When you get in, the warmth of the water eased you. "Join me?" He kisses your head before taking the towel off and getting into the tub behind you. He pulls you closer to him, letting your head rest against him. "I love you." You shut your eyes and smile. "I love you too, Steven." He scoped some of the bubbles into his hand before placing them on your head, making you laugh. "To think this happened because of my glasses." You shook your head. "It was also because I love you and trust you, handsome." Steven chuckled. "I know darling. I'm teasing."

#steven grant x reader #steven grant #steven grant x y/n #steven grant x you #marvel #marvel universe #mcu #asks #ask #anonymous #anon #anon asks #anon ask #anonymous asks #moon knight #moon knight x reader #mister knight

[aphroditesbaby1616]

The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 17

♡ Chapter Inspo: Too Sweet - Hozier ; "You know, you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain, pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape."

♡ Summary: Winnie & Carmy attend one of their first full family functions as a couple, & Carm is anxious as shit that Donna will pop up.

♡ W/C: 10,217

♡ Posted Date: 04/16/2024

♡ A/N: WOW It has been a second since TB&HH got some love but we are so back!! I am actually really excited about this chapter! It is very long as you see, and It took a few times of scrapping & rewriting, and then I finally just said fuck it and did what I wanted to do LOL. I have been writing so much SydCarmy i've been achingg for some loveydovey Winnie & Carmy so here I am! As per usual requests are open for SydCarmy, CarmyxReader - anything really!

♡ Warnings for BTC: SmutSmutSmut (breeding kinks mentioned, car sex) - Swearing, Fluffy mush, Smoking cigarettes, talks of alcoholism, drinking

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

Carmen and I had made it official 3 months ago now, and we were just as happytogether and obsessed with each other as the day we’d met. Today was the day that Natalie’s younger daughter, Briana or Bee as the family lovingly calls her would be getting Christened since she was officially a year old last week. 

When I returned last month from nannying in The Hamptons, Carmen had taken an entire week off permitted by Sydney being back in perfect health - and we fucked and ate and did whatever we wanted for the entire week before I had to get back to work. It was fair to say we had missed each other terribly and he’d told me I ‘wasn’t allowed to abandon him like that ever again’ even if it meant he had to pay all of my bills. 

I huffed frustratedly, my fingers beginning to cramp up from trying so many times to clasp on my simplistic gold St. Christopher medallion with my long french tips that Carmen had been insisting on paying for every 2 weeks.  

“Bear! I need help!” I called out to him where he was in the bathroom ‘borrowing’ my gel to relax his frizzy curls that he had no time to blowdry this morning. 

“what‘sup honey?” He asked as soon as I called, coming out to the bedroom where I was stood in front of my full-length mirror struggling to clasp my jewlery.

This is how he’d been for the past 2 months or so, I call, and he answers nearly faster then I can finish my request.

It didn’t matter what he was doing, not if we were in the kitchen (he did get a bit huffy if it was extra busy, but never mean, never ever mean.) But if we were at home? It was almost scary how fast he came to my call. I had even filmed a TikTok- jokingly saying- 

“My man will blindly do whatever I ask of him- watch- it’s weird as fuck- but it’s super cute. He will literally toss out whatever he’s doing and do what I say. I think he’s over in the living room drawing right now- but watch…he’s gonna shove all his colored pencils n’ shit right in his case and barrel over here like a puppy. Watch this. -”  I stepped into the hallway and flipped the camera “ oh - and he’s gonna say ‘I’m sorry’ cause he wasn’t here the second I asked him.” I whispered before calling- “ LLLLOVER?! What’re y’doin’s? Mon Ours?!” (My Bear?) down the hallway.  ‘Huuuh???’ he called back ‘WHAT’RE Y’DOING LOVE?’ I called louder. I heard wooden pencils tinkling together and muttered curses for a few moments before he appeared at the end of the hall, coming up to me “Wha?” he asked, “M’sorry honey- I couldn’t hear over the TV-“  “What are you doing?” I asked “Uhhh…drawing? Why?” He asked “need something?” “No” I shrugged, leaning against the doorframe. “Can you put it away?” I asked.  “Oh- sure gimme’ sec” he walked off to the living room for a few moments and I flipped the camera back to me,  “See he just does what I ask him to do what is this?! He just listens he’s the best listener-“ I whispered being interrupted by him asking “Hey Honey? D’you mean like away away?” He called  “No just put up. come here” I called and he comes back to me, kissing my head  “Are Y’Hungry? D’ya need y’r water filled? What day is it again? I didn’t forget plans did I?” he checked his phone and I rolled my eyes playfully  “I just wanted kisses” I puckered my lips  He gratefully partook, kissing my lips before pecking all over my face. “Did you get your period and are just needy for love and kisses or Is this a test?” I hit end on the recording, embarrassed by his stupidly good intuition. 

It had gotten nearly 4 million views, and he was baffled as to why - when I explained the likely reason to him, he could barely understand that a lot of boyfriends didn’t give a shit about their girlfriends needs- at least to the level he does, so the way girls were thirsting after him in my comment section was new to him, and slightly overwhelming for me because it had been weeks and likes and comments were still pouring in, and there were lots of people that knew who he was. I had gotten at least 100 comments reading ‘is that like- THE Carmen Berzatto? Just…chilling in your house?!’

It was also kind of annoying because people kept asking to see him now since they either thought he was hot or they wanted him to talk about cooking, but I’d never ask him to. He isn’t my show pony, I know he’s hot and talented and smart and amazing and my absolute everything - and I’d love nothing more than to share all of that with the people who we’re asking, but I knew for a fact he didn’t like being on camera and wouldn’t be comfortable knowing 300 thousand people were gonna be seeing it- and possibly many, many more. 

He thought it was sweet and funny that after when I told him I pranked him or more specifically, giggly telling him ‘you got-got bear, I got you so good’ that me ‘pranking’ him was asking him to put away his colored pencils and kiss me for the sake of it - when in culinary school his ‘friends’ idea of a prank was to dull out all of his knives so he’d have to spend nearly the whole day resharpening them and failing an assignment because of it.  

 “Oh, that? Here honey gimme” he takes the ends of the dainty chain from my fingers, standing behind me and clasping it easily before adjusting the charm gently to the middle before and kissing the top of my head. “Y’nails’re too long f’that Angel” he muttered, looking at the necklace in the mirror and rubbing over my lower stomach lovingly.  

He did that move a lot ever since he started getting more comfortable when we made things official. Especially when he knew I was ovulating during sex. It drove me absolutely insane  - he loved to do it while saying something along the lines of;

 ‘Y’want me t’fuck y’full pretty girl? Yeah? You wanna show everyone y’mine honey? Who you belong to princess? Are y’gonna have my babies? Mmm? Say it— Y’love it when I fuck y’like this, like a fuckin’ cat in heat. Ye’- is that it? Are you a filthy little fuckin animal? My pretty little pet?’

While he fucked me absolutely brainless. Before I went to my nanny gig, one day he peered over my shoulder while I was reading one of my fantasy books and saw the words mating press - he was immediately interested and very shyly asked what it was, before asking me to help show him what he needed to do to help me achieve that very position.

Surprisingly- after I had explained what the position was for in the books- it was the first time he didn’t quite literally leave or get overly anxious about the thought of us having children - even if it was just purely dirty talk. He just once again made sure that I was on birth control, and from there it became one of our very favorite positions. 

I’d never fucked a man before that made me promise to have his babies someday before cumming in me as deep as he could and rubbing over my extremely vacant womb due to being so pussy-drunk. All while whispering how pretty I’d be swollen with his seed- worshiping me like I’d already been carrying the child- muttering about how hot it would be if I were to be all big-bellied carrying his baby. Maybe it was his kink? Surely it was just a kink and it was the moment talking not his actual desires. 

It must be- because he’d been so adamant just a few months ago that he was ‘absolutely sure’ he didn’t want children so badly we nearly got into an argument over it when I asked him to just think about it outside of the realm of me. So he likely was simply turned on by the thought of a ‘nuclear domestic life’ just like any other person is. 

“Thank you, you look so nice, Bear. I can’t wait until it’s over though cause I wanna touch your hair. Can’t though cause it has all the stuff in it” I said, turning around and gently pushing back the stray sticky curl that had fallen out of place and was laying on his forehead adorably. 

“Mm Church isn’t my favorite pastime cause I have to have all the bullshit on. but you look…” he takes me in slowly, his hand sliding down over the curve of my waist. “Fuckin perfect. Can’t believe y’mine baby” he leans in for a kiss “wait- this stuff, can I kiss you?” He alludes to my lipstick which was likely about the same shade of red as my cheeks now due to his compliments. 

“Find out” I said and pulled him by his jacket, kissing him deeply. He hummed, squeezing my bum and pulling my hips into his, squeezing them gently. 

He was always extra careful to ask when I had makeup on and was getting ready to go out, that he could kiss me without messing anything up. He would sit and watch me do my makeup when going out for girls nights, so was very understanding and appreciative of the effort and time that went into it. He would help me pick out eyeshadow colors sometimes, but his favorite part was when I did lipstick. He tells me it ‘changes everything’ which makes me giggle, because that’s exactly what my grandma says. 

I pull away after a few moments, “how’s the makeup?” I tease, checking in the mirror. “Lady Gaga knows what she’s doing babe” I gently dab below my lip with my beauty blender where he had gotten some of my foundation by mistake in the heated lip to lip transaction. 

“The same one that did the poker face song?” He asked and I laugh a bit 

“If that’s all you know her by then we still  have a lot to learn about pop culture. But yes, the Gaga baby” I fixed up my lipliner a bit and he watched me in the mirror as I meticulously did so. 

“Mm I remember that and the weird meat dress. Fuck you look amazing baby here lemme see” he turns me around when I put the pencil down, gently brushing my fringe from my eyes. “You are so beautiful baby, fuckin’ breathtaking” he kissed my forehead gently. 

I smiled, holding his hands in mine and squeezing gently “you look very handsome baby, so handsome” I adjusted his tie and kissed his jaw gently. My alarm went off for 6:45 signaling it was time for us to leave, the sound causing me to jump a bit before I giggle shyly “Sorry. We’d better go” I grabbed my purse, making sure I had everything i’d need for the day. 

“Y’still wanna get coffee honey?” He asked as he put his dress shoes on. 

I nod “yeah- if I can get these stupid shoes on with this dress in time” I sat down on the bed slipping my foot in and trying to buckle the stupid tiny buckle with my nails, they were super pretty and Carm loved the scratches he got with them, but in terms of tiny things I always found myself struggling. 

“Here-“ he knelt in front of me “Hold this Honey” he hands me the hem of my dress and I pulled it up for him. He carefully adjusted the straps so they were straight, before buckling it “that good? Y’want ‘em tighter?” He asks and I shook my head 

“No- no. Thank you it’s perfect baby” I offer my other foot to him and he repeated the process. “You’re the best, Carmy, really. Sorry I keep needing your help when I go out” I said, kissing his cheek gently before he got up. 

“Can’t blame yourself baby those things are… ridiculous. I dunno how they’re comfortable” he outstretched his hand to help me up. 

I took it and kiss his lips lovingly once he pulled me up. “They aren’t. They just look pretty” I grab my purse once more, spraying on my perfume. “Now we’re ready” I said with a smile.

We got to the church with 5 minutes to spare before the service started, so we were able to find the back row where Richie, Eva, some random blonde that I’d assumed must be Eva’s mom, Syd, Fak, Natalie, and Pete, both of them with a kid in their lap were sitting. 

Sugar spotted us first “Oh! Yay! You made it sweetheart how are you? You look so beautiful” she smiled 

“Oh my gosh no way you all look so cute I love her little dress ohhh my gosh Carmy look at her!” I said happily 

“Yeah - Hey, Uh- Moms not-“ Carmy asked her quietly. 

“Bear - “ she almost laughed “She isn’t around until she can prove to me she's sober again” she said before turning to Fak who was sat next to her. “Honey, move down please! Look at all that row sweetheart” she nudged him with her elbow. 

“Hi Winnie the Pooh” Fak said, sliding down enough for Carm and I to squeeze in next to sugar.

“Hey Neil! Hope you’re well it’s nice to see you.” I sit down next to Carmy, crossing my legs.

“So is she your girlfriend yet?” He asked Carmy, nudging his shoulder gently. 

Carmy sighed deeply. “Yes, yes Fak. She’s my girlfriend. And we’re at church buddy. So it’s quiet time yeah?” He asked and I couldn’t help but stifle a giggle how he took after Sugars tone with him. 

“Thanks Winnie nice to see You too- Your dress is pretty” he told me and I smiled 

“Aww! Thanks bestie. Love the suit you look snappy” I said and held Carmys hand, kissing it gently. 

“It’s great t’see you guys!” Syd waves and I lean forward to see her better - But Carmy didn’t even say anything.

I look at him, seeing he was totally not here. “babe” I ask and he breaks his spaced out gaze on the large stained glass window up front and looked at me.  

“Mm?” He looks over at me. I rubbed his hand gently. 

“Everything okay sweets?” I asked softly and he nodded a bit.

“Talk ‘bout it later” he said and squeezed my hand gently. 

“Okay…” I said and hooked our arms together before relacing our fingers. 

I watched as he went back to staring at the same stained glass window, and resumed that way throughout the entire service unless we were participating in something. 

It worried me a bit, it seemed like he was disassociating - as to avoid what I wasn’t sure.

When we got back to the car I crossed my legs, buckling my seatbelt quietly and holding my purse in my lap. “What’s goin on baby?” I asked. 

He shrugged, shaking his head a bit and starting the car. “Nothin.” He said plainly 

“Mmm.” I mutter. “Funny cause you said we’d talk about it later” I said casually, pulling down the visor mirror on my side, reapplying my lipliner. 

“Talkin ‘bout it now. And I said- nothin” he said shortly, starting the van and backing out of the parking spot. 

“Ahhh of course because saying “nothings wrong” would have been too easy so instead- you added 3 extra words to tell me we’d talk about it now?” I pushed, carefully lining below my bottom lip. 

“D’you ever drop anything?” He asked, annoyance lacing his tone. 

“Mmm- no. I don’t..” I grinned teasingly 

“It’s none of y’fuckin concern that’s what it is.” He said, rolling the window down and lighting a cigarette as we pulled up to a stoplight. 

“Ohhh! Meeeeowww!” I teased, fishing my phone out of my purse. “Someone’s in a sour mood.” I tut, “I never got the invite to your pity party- did you forget about me lovey?” I teased. 

He rolled his eyes, gripping the steering wheel with his right hand. “You love pushing my fuckin’ buttons.” He muttered before taking a drag. 

“I loooove it. You know, you’ve yet to rage fuck me yet. Which is surprising- you’re 90% rage, and I’ve only gotten the 10% of soft.” I said, running my hand up his thigh until I got to his bulge, slowly stroking it over in his slacks. 

“You couldn’t fucking handle it.” He said, grabbing my wrist. “Don’t fuckin test me.” He grumbled, flicking my hand into my lap and hitting the gas as the light turned green. 

“Oh- oh- is that a challenge, Bear. You think I can’t take you? That I - can’t take you?” I scoffed, dropping my phone in the cup holder. “I find that a little rude. Where have your manners gone?” I drag my nails over the inside of his thigh, smiling to myself as his breath hitches.  I knew he was stuck in a loop about something negative- and since he didn’t want to talk about it- he likely needed to fuck about it. It was a system we’d created- kind of an unspoken one. But he would ruminate, and brood like a big baby - if I couldn’t coax it out of him with my words, he’d probably been so pent up with nowhere to put it so he needed to release all those hormones before he could get it off his tongue. He always did, after a long day the pillow talk we had would usually be intense feelings of self-doubt and fear of the restaurant failing- even though it was never close to failing. He’s worried about who knows what and needs to escape with something he has that will remain consistent, and something very accessible- and that something usually happens to be me.

“I’m fuckin driving” he said, but his growing arousal beneath my palm begged for me to continue. 

“Mmhmmm? And?” I asked, gripping him firmly at the base of his cock that was prominently showing now. 

“Y’fuckin- Jesus Christ” he hissed, holding the steering wheel with a white knuckle grasp. “Such a little fuckin-“ he gasped lightly as I grip him tighter. 

“What” I goad. “What? Finish the sentence, Carmy.” I tease, running my thumb along the vein I’d already memorized, feeling his member jump in the grip of my hand at the action. 

“Dirty fucking whore.” He hissed, cheeks pink at the admission. 

I giggled. “Awww- it’s nice to finally hear you say it” I teased, dragging the edge of my nail along his rock hard head

“J-Just-” he swallowed thickly, eyes locked on the road, refusing to break to meet my gaze

“Juuuust” I goaded, adding pressure and he whimpered

“Y’re fuckin evil” he said through clenched teeth, swallowing thickly and shaking his head lightly. “I said I’m fuckin driving.” he repeated, hips involuntarily bucking up into my grasp.

“So?” I asked, gently dragging my thumb over his waistband “Did you want me to stop, Bear?” I asked and he inhaled sharply, slightly shaking his head. 

“Ohhhh-oh! So you like when i’m a dirty fucking whore for you?” I questioned, my hand stilling over his goosebump-ridden skin.

“Do what y’gonna fuckin do” he muttered, swallowing thickly. 

“Fine” I said, unbuckling my seatbelt and pulling my skirt up my waist, slipping my panties and nylons down in one go after kicking off my heels into the footwell of the passenger side. 

“What’re you-“ he glanced over at me as I hiked my right leg up on the dashboard after pushing my seat back to lay down. 

“I’m doing what I’m gonna do. You said it yourself Bear - I’m a dirty fucking whore” I responded, angling myself so he could see and spreading myself out for him “so wet for you” I said in a sultry tone, gathering the sticky slick on my middle and forefingers, before bringing it right in front of his lips. 

“Don’t you love how dirty I am?” I teased, rubbing the sticky arousal on his bottom lip

He flicked his cigarette out the window and opened his mouth, taking my digits in and sucking them, humming in satisfaction at the taste “yeah I know you fucking love it. It’s why we’re perfect together you’re just as much a freak as I am” I said, pushing my fingers further and he widened his jaw wantingly. 

I gasped a bit as he bit down on my fingers “Such an animal” I giggle squeezing his cheeks and rubbing my spit slicked fingers down his chin when he released me 

“You really wanna go right now when I’m tellin you I’m not in a good mood?” He asked

“If you’re in the mood- I want you. Otherwise no thanks but I think you’d have said something before now” I pulled my dress out of the way of my core. “You aren’t gonna look? You always tell me how pretty I am baby” I gently spread my folds, rubbing my wet cold middle finger over my clit gently “mmm it’s so much better when you do it Carmy, don’t you wanna touch me?” I begged

He glanced over at me, tugging his lip between his teeth as he fans over my position, eyes trailing down to my pussy.. “You can come up with what we were doin’ since you wanna be so fuckin’ needy and can’t wait a few hours. Little sex demon” he said, slowing down and turning into a post office parking lot that was deserted due to it being a Sunday. 

“I wouldn’t be so needy if you didn’t look so angry and your arms didn’t look so good in that jacket” I said, crawling in the back and sitting on the floor excitedly 

“One second anger scares you the next it turns you on- I can’t fuckin figure you out” he said, shutting the van off and getting out of the drivers side, and quickly opening and shutting the back sliding door when he got in.. 

“Yelling scares me but I think being your little stress toy is sexy cause you appreciate it” I lay back when he took off his jacket, laying it down for me like a pillow.

“Whats the word?” he asked before kissing my neck with nipping, hot, wet kisses.

“First - gentle on the neck and leaving marks baby were gonna be with your family, and second orchid” I assured and he hiked up my skirt.

“Good Girl” he said and spread my legs open, his tattooed hand finding my soaked core immediately and dragging his middle and ring finger up the slick, rubbing over my clit with quick light circles making my toes curl .  

I gasped, already feeling like every nerve in my body was on fire. He had managed in our times together to memorize every single thing that made me creen in pleasure. He wanted me soaked before he’d barely even touched me, because that gave him the satisfaction of having memorized my body and the way it reacts to every little possible stimulation. 

“Your good girl” I breathed, tugging up my skirt higher so he can kiss over my stomach and hips how he usually did, during moments of intimacy he wanted to feel and taste every part of me I would let him - it felt more like worshiping if I was honest with myself, but when I thought about it I would get way too worked up. 

“That’s right princess” he gently nips on my skin. “How could I ever be rough w’you? Mmm? When y’so fuckin sweet? And so fuckin good f’me?” He hums, settling my thighs around his hips. 

I giggled, breaking up the gel in his hair as he kissed over my naval and hips, and gently massaging his scalp. His eyes fluttered shut in bliss, his kisses slowing before resting his forehead on my stomach and letting out a satisfied sigh at the action “Youre gonna have freshly fucked hair” I teased. 

“Don’t care. Mm keep touchin’ me please. Fuck baby-“ he rested his chin on my flesh looking up at me “I missed y’touchin me. So bad. Just touch me however you want” he begged, causing me to smile, a warm loving blush heating my cheeks. 

“You like when I touch you?” I gently caress his cheek and he leaned into it like a man starved. 

“I love it. I need it baby- really. I miss it so bad when y’cant.” He took my hand, kissing my palm. “I need you” he said softly. 

I swallowed hard, trying to relieve the growing lump in my throat and I cupped his cheeks lovingly. “I’m always here” I said softly and pulled him into a sweet messy wanting kiss 

I wrapped my arms around his back, gently playing with the hair at the base of his neck, smiling into his lips when I felt the goosebumps adorning his neck. “The reason we’re back here is cause I need you” I said sultrily in the shell of his ear, kissing his jaw gently. 

“I know ‘m sorry” he unbuttoned his pants and I cup his jaw bringing his attention back to me. 

“That’s not how I meant it bear” I said softly, gently moving his hands out of the way and unzipping them for him. “I love touching you, you know what right?” I asked as I untucked his shirt, gently running my hands up his toned stomach, feeling him lightly shiver beneath me 

“Uh- yeah…yeah- I do- I just sometimes feel like…I dunno. I ask f’r too much” he said quietly 

I rubbed over his abs, gently squeezing his hips and trailing my palms over his ribs beneath the loose fabric. “When do you ever even ask baby? I offer. I know you like it so I do it” I pull him closer, kissing the exposed bit of chest from the top 2 buttons being opened. 

“Is it weird when I do ask?” he questioned softly and I look up at him. 

“No. It’s not, it’s sweet and it’s healthy, Carm. It’s good to be loved” I gently kiss his neck and he guided me to lay, pushing himself free of his boxers and slacks, and lining himself up before gently pushing in. 

I moaned out, locking my legs around his waist and pulling myself closer to nudge him deeper inside, arching my hips and whining as I feel the tip of his cock right over that spongy spot that made me sob and shake with pleasure 

“You are fuckin greedy t’day Jesus Christ” he breathed, holding my hips for me “so fuckin pretty” he said as he pulls out halfway before rutting into that spot and I gasp sharply 

“Fuuuuck oh oh- you’re fucked” I whine to which he chuckled, a satisfied grin on his face. 

“You said you could handle this babe” he reminded, pushing in deeper but slowly as to not hurt me, resting his hand at the base of my stomach. “Fuuuck I love when y’let me have y’like this baby I can get so fuckin’ deep feel this” he said, taking my hand and resting it at the base of my stomach, slowly thrusting in. 

I felt the movement beneath my hand, my jaw slack and the most lewd pornographic noises coming from my chest “s-so- so big” I whined out dropping my head back in bliss and eyes fluttering shut 

“That’s right baby my good fuckin’ girl- my fuckin girl. Y’take me so fuckin well princess like Y’re fuckin made for me ye? Like y’re made t’take my fuckin’ cock? Mm? Made f’me to fill with my cum?” He asked as he started the relentless pace. 

I couldn’t even think - I just nod quickly in response “made f-uckkk yes- yesyesyesyes made for you I’m yours” I slurred, reaching down and rubbing my clit causing me to clench around him tightly 

He grunted, looking down and watching my fingers spreading around his cock as I rubbed myself “yeah? Y’like bein’ mine? Mmm? Y’like that I fuckin own this pussy? So goddamn greedy - needin’ me t’fill you up twice already today and it's not even lunch” He thrusts harder causing my back to arch sharply

Tears were forming in the corners of my eyes now at the waves of pleasure that were so intense the air around us felt like it was crackling with electricity.  I opened my eyes once more to find his gaze locked on my cunt, mesmerized by the thick white strings of arousal sticking to the base of his cock before snapping as he thrusted in and out. 

“Mmm isn’t it so fucking pretty were so pretty together baby” I moved my fingers faster, sitting up on my other elbow and nearly collapsing again at the new pleasure it brought. 

“Woah” he noticed, quickly wrapping an arm around my back and my head drops back to meet his gaze as he stopped thrusting 

“Fuck me oh my god fuck me- I- can you please? My- my knees can’t touch the floor my thighs are too short when I’m up on your lap you’re right i’m so fucking greedy for you I need you please fill me up please claim me”” I said in a needy tone, my breath rapid and uneven. 

“You are going to be the death of me” he groaned, holding the backs of my thighs and sitting me up on his hips with his palms on my ass, before leaning on the back wall of the van and thrusting up into me, hard and fast.

My eyes nearly rolled back before closing, my jaw slack with pleasure. I nodded quickly, tears spilling over my cheeks as he continued. Fireworks and stars float behind my eyes and I clutch the seat next to us with a white knuckle grasp to have some tether to my body. 

“So fuckin pretty” he grunted, fucking up into me harder “y’want me to fill this pretty pussy up? Mmm? Y’want me to fuckin make sure y’drippin the rest of the day? My little whore” he kissed my neck roughly and I couldn’t even warn him before my hips were shaking and my core was squeezing and releasing around him in a way that told him I’d reached my peak. 

My whole body felt waves of heat rushing through, everything felt so good it was starting to feel painful but I couldn’t ask for him to stop- I wouldn’t. I had never felt so good before, physically, mentally, emotionally. I couldn’t stop it even if I tried. The words fell out of me before I’d even registered the thought wasn’t just a thought, and was really coming out of my mouth. 

“I fucking love you” I cried out. 3 months. Three. That was it. That was all I’d had of him, and I’d known I’d loved him for probably 2 of those months. And had bitten my tongue and avoided the issue and successfully evaded his weird roundabout questions that would allude to me being in love with him until now. So if he didn’t feel the same, this was all we had, and all and would ever get. 

“Shit. Say it. Say it again baby been wantin’ it so fuckin’ long now” he rasped. I opened up my eyes, looking up at him to see his gaze was locked on me, like I had hung the sun in the sky just for him. 

“I love you Carmen.” I said honestly and he moaned, resting his forehead on mine, looking into my eyes. I smelt his minty breath mingling with mine, hot as it fanned my lips. 

“Yeah? Say it- fuck- say it one more time angel” he said, hips stuttering and thrusts becoming more sloppy. 

I cupped his cheeks, feeling as if we were the only 2 people left on earth and all we had was time.  “I fucking love you, bear” I said while looking into his eyes and he whined quietly, spilling into me so much that it began leaking out onto his thighs and the curve of my ass before he even pulled out and drawing me into a deep, fervent, wanting kiss, wrapping his strong arms around me and keeping his cock nestled deep inside as we exchanged hot, loving, messy kisses.

“Do you- do you really?” he asked when we pulled away to breathe, both of our chests moving up and down rapidly. 

I nodded, swallowing thickly “It- It slipped out…I didn’t mean to tell you like this - I wasn’t thinking- I know it scares you- I- I wont say it again if it-” he stops me by kissing me again, slipping his tongue over mine and wrapping me in a bear hug, leaning against the door and sucking on my tongue gently.

I hum in satisfaction, closing my eyes and letting him have me. “Say it whenever you want, please” he said softly when he finally pulled away. 

“You- you don’t think you can say it?” I asked, biting the inside of my lip nervously.

I had a feeling he was in love with me, but I’d been here before with someone and the L word scared them off. But the guy has been essentially living with me since we started seeing eachother - what else would that be!?

“No - No…honey thats not- I-I love you - ‘msorry, I thought you could… that you could tell what else should I do?” he asked and I smiled wide.

“Saying it was the only thing you were missing- oh and maybe coming home on time once in a while to show me you actually like being there- but nothing to be sorry for, I see you baby” I assured him, gently kissing his sticky sweaty cheek. 

I felt like I was in the most beautiful dream ever, There was nothing more that I wanted than him, and this.

He buried his face in my neck, sniffling softly and remaining quiet for a few minutes, before saying “We should go home and change, theres definitely cum all over that dress” he joked. His voice sounded slightly horse, and when I sat up to look at him he quickly wiped away a tear staining his cheek.

“I love you, and you don’t have to say it all the time baby - I’ll probably say it a lot more than you cause it’s just how I am, and I know you, and how you are. You show me with your actions how much you love me, and thats what I need. I know baby, I know you love me. I can tell you love me, every day” I wiped the stray tears from his cheeks with the pads of my thumbs, gently cupping his jaw. 

“How could you know if I never said it?” he asked and rested his hands on my lower back.

I took a deep breath, sighing softly as I thought with a small smile on my lips “Lets see… you always make me lunch- and dinner - you always watch shows I wanna watch, you actually listen to me when I talk about them- and notice things, and ask me questions. You always say thank you, even for small silly things like when I rub your hair, or when I make you your coffee. You compliment my crochet and costume making, and ask me about the books I read. You bring Persephone little toys and treats on the weekends when you have to hang out with her while I do inventory with Sadie. You always push yourself for me- even though I never ask you to, like bringing me flowers- or that time you bought my perfume because it was getting low and didn't say anything? You show me, Carmy. Every day, to be loved is to be seen. And you are always showing me that you see things about me that I didn’t notice you could even see because I thought I hid them well enough” I asked and he nodded a bit

“Now that you mention it… I guess I didn’t know what it meant, I knew I felt for you like- differently… then anyone before. But I felt like it would be too fair to call it love” he said and I pout a bit

“What do you mean, fair?” I asked and he rubs up my back gently with flat palms

“Fair to me. I didn’t think that something that felt so good could be love, that it was like- the universe fuckin’ w’me again. And something er someone  would take you away from me as soon as I called it love” he said and I gently kiss his chin, then lips, then the tip of his nose.

“Love can be scary, I keep waiting for me to do something and you just…turn. Like- like a monster or something. But it's not to do with you- because I can’t ever see you doing that, It’s just my past relationships scarred me so deeply that I'm just waiting. Like the day I dropped the cup at the restaurant, I thought you were gonna yell at me for some reason- even though you've never yelled at me. My ex would have yelled at me for hours over that- but you didn’t. You told me it was okay, and you cleaned it up and never rubbed it in my face or anything. That healed something in me, like- i’m not so scared to make a mistake around you anymore, cause it’s happened and you reacted healthily. So every time you think I'm going to leave, and I don't- it's going to heal a small part of a fear like that in you, and make this all alot less scary. At least- that's what my therapist says” I shruged a bit. 

“I’m glad it’s with you. Being in love.” he said softly, eyes fluttering shut as I gently brushed my fingers through his messy hair to look a bit more contained. 

I smiled, kissing his forehead gently “I’m glad too, Bear. I wouldn’t wanna love anyone else”

“Where the fuck have you guys been? Hey sweetheart- did you go back home and change?” Richie asks as we came in the kitchen.

I was baring a bouquet of flowers and Carmy was holding a 2 bottles of wine “sorry! Yeah my heels were bugging me it’s my fault” I said giving him a hug and he kisses my cheek

“You better not be pregnant yet the holidays are the worst time - also Richie will you quiet your loud mouth I just put Bee down” Natalie says as she comes by giving me a kiss on the cheek and ruffling Carm’s hair 

“Wine? Look at you Bear she’s turned you into a real adult- takin’ gifts to parties like a big boy” she teased, taking the bottles and he rolled his eyes 

“She’s not pregnant and you’re not funny” he took my hand, pulling me to him and rubbing my back gently.

That was another thing- the family now saw us as the next couple to get pregnant - even though we’d hardly been together a year - Because ‘they dont want our kids to be the only cousins being left out when the girls are older, I guess maybe I should take it as a good thing and being they’ve accepted me as one of theirs

“Let’s sneak t’the backyard before they can rope me in t’somethin yeah?” He whispered in my ear 

“Okay” I smiled, kissing his cheek gently and lacing our fingers together as he leads us towards the back door

“Hey! Carm I didn’t know you were coming who’s this?” An older man says and I turned around 

“I didn’t know you were comin’ hey Unc- this is my girlfriend, Winnie” he said and I smiled 

“Hi” I wave shyly to the older man. I’d never seen him before, Carmy did mention though he had been paying an Uncle Jimmy back for money Mikey had borrowed for the restaurant but no one else - so this must be him.

“Ahhhh okay, Hello Winnie - what a name. You are just a sweetheart, Is this one treatin’ you good? I can knock some sense into ‘em. You ever need anything you come find Jimmy okay?” he teased and I smiled a bit

“He is nothing short of lovely but I promise I’ll pass word if that ever changes and take you up on the offer” I joked and he smiled 

“She’s gonna fit in just fine here, Carm. Where’d you find this one?” He asked and Carm shrugged a bit. 

“Just. Around. Moms not coming is she?” Carmy asked and I looked up at him

“Who knows kid. She told me she’s off the bottle but- who knows” he said with a shrug and Carm nodded a bit. 

“Don’t tell ‘em where we went, please” he opened the back door, tugging me outside and shutting it behind us. 

“If my mom comes we’re leaving” he said and I crossed my arms. 

“You don’t want me to meet her but you love me?” I asked and he chuckled dryly.

He hadn’t spoken much about her, the most I’d known was that she’s a raging alcoholic- had driven a car through their family home at one point, but when Natalie had her first baby she cleaned up for about 6 months, then fell off again- and has been going months in addiction, then trying to clean up for a birthday or something like this, and the cycle maintains that way. 

He digs his cigarettes out of his jeans, pulling one out. “I don’t want you to meet her because I love you. Don’t pull that. Is that gonna be a fuckin’ card for you now because I was honest?” He stuck it between his lips and lit it.

I felt my stomach twist. He was already starting to fly off the handle and say things he didn’t mean. That little comment would absolutely be a deeper conversation when we did get home - because I didn’t appreciate it in the slightest.

“A card?” I scoff “what do you mean card. This isn’t a game, Carm, this is our lives, There are no cards.” I took a deep breath to try and regulate myself. “You don’t really talk about her. And I don’t want to push you- but what is it is she mean? Is it just that you think she’s gonna hate me?” I questioned and he rubbed over his forehead, exhaling smoke away from us.

“Winnie it’s not even- this isn’t even the fuckin place t’talk about it. No she’s not- she’s not fuckin mean she just has issues okay. And she - she fuckin yells it’s more for your sake, she’s all fuckin loud and I don’t want her freakin you out and - I— I just don’t want her showing up and if she does oh well, we’ll be gone before she knew we were here. I don’t even want her knowing about you. Not right now at least. Whenever we get married or whatever the fuck - sure I’ll tell ‘er, but before then she just has the potential of fucking this up” he said before taking a long drag of his cigarette. 

Of course. This was all leading back to his abandonment issues. Most of the issues in our relationship related back to my anxiety around death, and his anxiety around being left alone because he’s ‘not good enough’ in his mind. We couldn’t keep basing our relationship around fears or we’d never grow- so, I pushed.

“Your mom isn’t gonna scare me away. I don’t care if she is a screamer. My mom was a screamer. Chris didn’t have to deal with it- I did. By myself. So trust that I can handle it. I don’t want you getting comfortable yelling at me because I have to live with you. But I love you, and I love everyone else we’ve met in your family, and so I’m sure I will like her if she shows up.” I said and he shook his head. 

“No. No. I don’t wanna hear what she has T’say babe. Good- thank you- I’m glad - I-I’m happy you aren’t gonna fuckin leave but I don’t want to hear her fuckin mouth, Winnie. Shes gonna have somethin to say about you, about us. And I- I can’t handle it. I care about you too much and I won’t be able to keep my mouth shut and I’m gonna ruin the entire night. If she chooses me the whole night will get ruined because if she chooses me you’ll start and then she of course can’t -“ he shut his eyes, breathing deeply. 

He wasn’t budging about this, or even willing to compromise with me - and his telltale signs of a panic attack started to show, quick breathing, flushed skin, scrunched brows, literally shutting himself off by squeezing his eyes shut.

“Baby” I said softly, stepping forward and wrapping my arms around his middle. “We’ll go. We’ll go.” I assured him, gently running my finger over the bulging vein in his neck with a featherlight touch. “You’re so stressed love, breathe” I rub my palm gently over his racing heart. 

“This is why. I can’t even fuckin think about it Winnie, I can’t” he wrapped his arm around my waist and took another drag of his cigarette. 

I had to break this thought loop he was stuck in right now. I could see the gears turning in his mind, each and every worst-case scenario playing out in great detail like a film reel. It was something that my therapist had taught me during sessions and I had eventually picked up on, and started doing it with Carm. She would ask me a random question about something I love, so Taylor Swift, or Music Festivals, or Cats, and get me really into talking about it - and all the negative thoughts just snap away.

“How many kinds of vinegar are there?” I ask and he raised his eyebrow in confusion. 

“Vinegar?” He asked and I nod. 

“All  kinds. Well- I’ll be fair I guess cooking kinds, are there other kinds?” I gently fixed his chain to face the front. 

“Anything that is a fruit vegetable or a grain can be a vinegar, honey- why are you asking me this?” He questions and I shrug. 

“Because I wanna know. So ew you can make onion vinegar?” I scrunch my nose. 

“Uh-“ he took a drag of his cigarette “yes babe but…who the fuck would want that?” He asked, a small hint of a smile on his lips, my trick working as it usually did.

“What about balsamic vinegar, what is that?” I asked, sticking my hand under his shirt and holding his hip, stroking little lines into his skin with the pad of my thumb. 

“It’s grape juice vinegar instead of wine vinegar to put it simple” he said and I nod 

“You’re smart” I said, gently kissing his jaw “so so smart. It’s sexy” I said and he gently squeezed my bum

“What’s all the interest about vinegar babe you writin’ a book?” He teased and I giggle into his skin

“You’re not stuck in a loop anymore that’s what” I kissed down his neck. “And I was thinking about it in church. I was like what is red wine vinegar. Oh yeah and what is it?” I asked and he chuckled. 

“Mmm so full of questions sweetheart. They take red wine, then they ferment it, and then they add a culture-“ 

“A culture like yogurt?” I asked and he hummed 

“A culture like yogurt, that’s right little Sous someone’s been listening when I go on about work stuff huh?” He said, patting me gently. 

I smiled proudly “I love listening t’you. Okay keep going smarty sorry for interrupting” I said and he threw his cigarette butt down into the ash tray on the rail before wrapping his other arm around me and leaning against the wall. 

“Well not much else princess, they just ferment it and then add the culture then they put it in a barrel to ferment” he explained and the door opened 

“Bear Richie needs your help he’s fucking everything up with the lamb can you please come in?” Natalie asked 

“I literally sent him a text of what to do step by step” he huffs, “You wanna do the lemon zest honey?” He asked me as we went inside 

“Sure, I’ve been told I’m you’re best zester” I teased and he chuckled as he rolled up his sleeves to wash his hands 

“You are my best zester and my best girl.” He kisses my temple when I come next to him at the sink to wash my hands.

𝒞𝒶𝓇𝓂'𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱.🧸

After I’d dressed the lamb and put it in the oven, I went and sat on the couch with Sadie and Winnie who were deep in conversation about something I couldn’t even pay attention to at the moment. Because Nat had pulled me aside about 25 minutes ago to tell me mom is coming, but only for dessert- and only because she’s ’on the mend again.’ Whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean. 

She’d been ‘on the mend’ and uncountable amount of times since Natalie's kids had been born. Each time was unpredictable to say the least. I had completely given up on her ever becoming fully ‘healthy’ whatever that means, a long time ago. But if she would at the very least be honest and not have to make a huge scene of being removed when she shows up drunk after she swore she would be ‘sober as a nun’ that would be at the very least more respectable. 

Natalie had begged me to stay. Said I was the ‘only one she’d talk to’ which felt like bullshit- because mom and I don’t talk. She talks and I listen - and I told her if she’s drunk we’re leaving. I have a bad feeling Winnie and Mom won’t take kindly to each other especially if moms drunk. Of course that wouldn’t be Winnies fault, but the point still stood strong. Also- Syd is here, and I don’t want Syd dealing with that. So if mom does show up - which I really hoped she wouldn’t and was just trying to give Natalie some false hope she still cared about the family at all since Mike did what he did - I’m taking Winnie and Syd and getting the fuck out of here.. 

I’m pulled out of my thoughts by Winnie laughing loudly “Sadie you are gonna piss him off stop” she rubs my arm 

“I think it’s precious baby don’t listen to them” she said and I look up at Sadie who’s showing Syd a video on her phone and she gasps before slapping her arm and laughing 

“Sadie stop!!” She laughs “A) he doesn’t carry a bag B) he doesn’t have a mustache- but everything else is accurate in that” she took a sip from her wine glass

“What? Are you making fun of me?” I asked and Winnie laughed a bit, a frisky grin on her face

“What!? Never baby it’s just a silly joke how we’re like..a common match I guess. It’s only a joke” she explained and I extended my hand 

“Let me see” I told Sadie and she shook her head

“You weren’t paying attention so no” she teased and I roll my eyes

“Children” but I couldn’t help but smile a bit. That was something I did around Winnie a lot. Richie was right, she is very funny, in strange ways but she is. It’s more of a childlike randomness then anything else but it tends to really draw people in. It drew me in. I still hadn’t had a chance to ruminate over what happened earlier. 

I do love her. I just feel scared that I said it, that now I did there really is another shoe waiting to drop. It almost felt like another secret, because if it’s not i’m gonna be drilled with questions. Questions that I likely don’t have the answer to and won't until I talk it out with my therapist like every other fucking thing in my life. It was starting to revolve around that woman. Or thats what it felt like. I’d been seeing an individual therapist for only 2 months out of the three we’d been dating. I’d started after breaking down in Nat’s car at 3 am that one time. She’d told me she was either dragging me there, or she ‘couldn’t be around me anymore’ because it hurt her too much to see me ‘spiraling out like Michael without the drugs’ .

I’d thought she was being dramatic, sure the only reason I broke down like that was Winnie, and I refused to stop seeing her so that would no longer happen - but I also couldn’t stand not seeing and talking to Nat so often, I forgot how much i’d missed her in New York and her …. nagging. Strangely enough. 

“Bear-” I felt a grab on my shoulder and see Nat standing there “Let’s go outside yeah?” she said and I nodded a bit, looking over at Winnie 

“Be back in a second yeah?” I kiss her head and she nods turning back to Sadie listening to whatever story she was telling her

I shut the door behind us digging a cigarette out and lighting it. “You’re quiet tonight” she leaned against the rail and watched me. 

“A lot going on in case you haven’t realized” I muttered, taking a drag and looking down the street to avert her gaze. I wasn’t gonna go into everything right now, not here - and not when mom is gonna be here who knows when because she’s said that she was coming to dessert before and then came hours before expected because she thought Nat had told her 6 when she’d really told nat 8.

“Is it…Winnie?” she asked, and I suddenly felt annoyed at the thought that anyone could ever think she did something to me to intentionally make me feel this way

“No- no. Why would it be? Its fuckin mom. Winnie was all fuckin excited to come here and be here with all of you- because i’ve told you I don’t want her around mom- so since I was told she 100% was not coming I decided - oh how fuckin nice- she talks about never havin’ a fuckin family to do shit with, and never having been to a fuckin dinner like this- and now day fuckin’ of you drop on me she’d be here. If I’d have known, I’d never have come here. I’d never have told her. Because she loves to be apart and she - she wants me to feel good about shit like this but I can’t when mom’s involved. And now - it’s gonna be a whole fucking thing t’night when we get home. And its not her fault she sees when im upset, and its not her fault she can be normal when talking about shit like this. And its not her fault were all so fucked up. So it's not Winnie- Its us. Its who we are as a fucking family unit. So thats what it is, Nat” I said and finally looked over at her. 

She sighed deeply, nodding a bit. “Shes smart, Bear. And strong as any one of us, i’ve talked to her, you know? More then just once. She’s got a good head on her shoulders, and you’re a good person, Carm. She’s not pestering you, she’s worried about you. But we all know how you love worrying about your own shit so much that you can’t see the people around wanting to help.” she said.

“Thats why I don’t want her around mom. Because I know she wont be able to stand her, Nat. She’s….she doesn’t let peoples shit slide. And I’m worried because I can’t control her- I- I wont. It’s one of her…rules” I sighed a bit.

“She gives you….rules?” she asked.

“Not like that- just like- ‘do this and I’ll leave you without question this is your warning’ and one of ‘em is If I ever seriously try to control how she acts around anyone were done. Which I can understand shes a girl and all that” I stomp out the burning butt under my shoe.

“See- shes smart. And It will be fine as long as Mom comes sober and stays that way. She wont start anything with anyone as long as she is. Can you just please, please do me a favor and try to keep her away from the liquor, Carm? We’re putting it away before she gets here but… She can’t be around the kids if she drinks and Bee’s been fussy and I can't let Charlie see her if she gets drunk without anyone looking. I can’t keep an eye on her, but you can! Please Carm, please” she begged.

“No- No. Fuck no, actually. Fuck that- and fuck this, Natalie. No, I’m not leaving my fucking girlfriend alone tonight, so I can chase mom around the house to make sure that she doesn’t drink. I’ve told you. I don’t want to be a part anymore of her fuckin’ bullshit! What are- are you even getting out of this, Natalie? She’s not a grandmother, she’s an extra child you bring around presenting as a fuckin’ grandmother because you want y’r fuckin’ kids to have what we didn’t even have. Newsflash, Nat- To know how to be a fuckin’ grandmother? You need to have been a mother- something she’s never been good at. I’m glad you took me out here because the last thing I needed was mom showing up - and me being expected to play fuckin’ alcoholic sitter all night. Enjoy your shit show with mom”

 I turned around, opening the front door and having every urge to slam it, but holding back and shutting it calmly. I leaned against it, taking a few deep breaths and rubbing over my face. If I go in theliving room steaming, Winnie’s gonna cause a whole fucking scene trying to calm me down, well- not a scene - but she’d notice how upset I was off the bat, and then i’d make a scene trying to convince her I was fine when that was the furthest from the truth and spiral out of control when she didn’t believe me.

This was not how this night was gonna go. Not if I could do anything to help it. If Winnie wanted to do a big fucking family dinner at Nat’s or Richies, or something. Hell, I’d buy a fucking house and throw a dinner party there with everyone if it meant I kept her from being apart of this god damned dumpster fire of a situation. 

“Honey” I called from the hall, trying to keep my voice even and digging my keys out of my pocket.

“Comin’!” she called from the living room, a few seconds later showing up at the end of the hall and padding over to me with her glass of wine and her regular smiley warm demenor.

“Hey baby” I tried my best to put on a small smile, “Uh- I’m sorry…I’m not feelin’ good my stomach is feelin’ pretty fucked and I have bad heartburn, we’ll come back for the next one, yeah?” I told her, wrapping my hands around her hips and pulling her closer. 

“Oh no! Sweetheart, you have barely eaten today mm? That may be why your tummy is buggin’ you. Lets get you something small before dinner and you can lay down and see if it passes? If not we can go, The lamb you made is smelling so good baby I wanted to try it, I’ve never had that before” She asked sweetly, gently rubbing my chest. 

Damn her always having solutions. 

“No- honey… please- please? I just wanna go home and lay down and watch our shows, I can’t even hold anything down right now- can we?” I asked gently, leaning against the wall. 

Before she could even answer, my entire world spin and flew off of its axis. I wanted the ground to swallow Winnie and I up and send us somewhere that was anywhere but here. The entire house silenced, other then the near bane of my existence but also the unfortunate giver of life I was currently living out.  “No! NO! If my SON doesn’t want to see me, He will TELL ME WHY Natalie! He can EXPLAIN HIMSELF! I am not a child! I can HANDLE MY OWN SON YOU MY FUCKED UP LITTLE WANNABE AS MUCH AS YOU TRY TO REPLACE ME - ARE NOT HIS MOTHER!”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡

#Carmen Berzatto x OC #carmy berzatto x oc #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #the bear fx #the bear hulu #the bear fic #the bear fanfiction #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto fanfiction #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto smut #the bear #carmy berzatto smut #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy the bear #carmy x reader #carmen x reader #carmen berzatto blurb #borders & banners by saradika

[mugentakeda]

as soon as ursa registered that the person that just stepped into the garden was a messenger dressed in white, she knew her nephew was dead.

he'd only departed for ba sing se a few weeks ago. she'd gotten one hawk from him while he was still on his way to the faraway city- passionate descriptions about the beautiful earth kingdom terrain and scenery, his nervousness and dread, how much he already missed the kids and her and home.

she already knew he didn't want to go. just a month shy of 600 days did lu ten manage to hold off on joining his father in his divine quest, to get the capital of the earth kingdom to finally surrender. holding strong to his decision, despite pressure and badgering from every direction. ursa never cared. she knew ozai cared, firelord azulon cared, the whole council and nobility cared- but ursa has always cursed the council and nobility anyway. she knows her nephew's heart is true and hardworking even if he's not the most open about his patriotism, and knows that he's always been stubborn and independent. spirits, if she was a prince, she isn't sure that she'd want to spend her first big military venture in her father's shadow either. iroh had respected his son's wishes without a fight, just like ursa knew her honorable brother-in-law would, and left for ba sing se alone. that should've been the end of that.

azula told her (rather sourly) that the strange navy fellow that lu ten had been peers with while training under admiral jeong jeong managed to convince him otherwise. how, her daughter wasn't sure, and wasn't pleased. ursa had asked lu ten about it not much later, easily confessing to her nephew that she heard through the lychee-grape vine that he'd changed his mind about ba sing se- but he'd been cagey and evasive, and offered no real explanation. the evening later, he promptly announced at dinner that he'd be departing from the fire nation in the next couple days to join his father. and looked like he wanted to vomit afterwards, as firelord azulon put a weathered hand on his shoulder and shook him with satisfaction. she waited up late that night, praying he'd sneak to her chambers, so they could discuss the matter in whispers. but he never showed.

ursa had found him early the next morning, before agni even peeked over the horizon, tending to his beloved jogekama yari.

he sat up straight at the sound of her footsteps on the tile, and sighed heavily. as usual, lu ten knew it was his aunt without looking (unbeknownst to ursa, over the previous years, he'd been memorizing the sound of everyone in the family's footsteps. that way, he could mentally prepare himself for the interaction- lest the footsteps belong to ozai.).

I don't feel like being interrogated right now, auntie, he'd muttered. the young prince didn't sound angry, but terribly drained, and terribly defeated. the days where she could take one look at him and know exactly what was going through his head were long gone, sadly.

i'm sorry, she'd replied sadly. I just wanted to make sure you were truly alright. because… well, ever since I married your uncle….

his face pinched and he looked back down at his spear in silence. the hot morning air was heavy with foreboding. the rest went unspoken, as such things usually do in this suffocating palace they both call home. I think of you as my own.

she'd watched him grow up. she'd been there when his voice dropped, when he started growing sideburns, when he came home from shu jing armed with a mighty staff and bursting in pride, when the first sparks of lightning erupted from his hands and he made history. lu ten had been the only one to check in on her after she gave birth to zuko, and then the same with azula. he held them in his arms before ozai did. he'd been the one to choose azula's wet nurse when ursa was too sickened and depressed to eat well enough to breastfeed her baby girl. he was the one present for azula's first words and first steps- which is all now a secret between them that he's literally taken to the grave. her children's big brother in spirit, ursa's little brother and son from another mother.

the hands clutching the scroll tremble in despair and rage. what will happen now? her only teammate is gone. the one person in the whole world that truly went out of his way to look out for her and hers is gone. i'm not strong enough to hold him off on my own, my nephew, she thinks.

ursa bites the inside of her cheek until it bleeds to quell the tears welling up. you won't ever see him again. you're going to have to get used to living without him. he's never coming home. his father didn't keep him safe. it's over.

#dai li lu ten au #<-kinda. I just wanna emphasize how close lu ten and ursa were. it has a lot to do with how I characterize him lol #alicias writing stuff

[tangylemonade]

Middle With You

𝙷𝚊𝚗𝚋𝚒𝚗 𝚡 𝚐𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

⚠︎︎: 𝚂𝚖𝚞𝚝

𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜: 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚡 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚝 in a private area. (𝙸 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚍𝚘 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝙸 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚊𝚍𝚍 ☺︎︎)

𝟷𝟾+ 𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙾𝚁𝚂 𝙳𝙽𝙸

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 𝙰𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝟷.4𝚔

♡ My dear 𓆉 anon I am so so so sorry for the wait. I feel so bad because you requested a fic like months ago and I only just now wrote it. I was on break at work and I remembered that I hadn’t finished writing so I tried to finish it quickly because I’m going on hiatus for a month tomorrow (lol as if I haven’t been MIA for basically the whole 2023). Anyway that’s all to say I’m sorry for the delay and I know this isn’t good so I own you one and an apology. Either way I’d love to know what you think! I hope you’re having a great day! ♡

The wind brushed across your skin and fluttered the fabric of your clothes around your body. Your toes curled in the soft grass. Taking a deep breath, you centered yourself while the sun warmed your wind chilled skin. You felt strong arms wrapping around your waist and you leaned into the embrace closing your eyes.

“Do you like it?” Hanbin softly asked you. He pulled you even closer, cuddling you.

“It’s lovely! How did you find this place?” You said excitedly, turning around and facing him.

“A magician never reveals his secrets.” He chuckled before kissing your face. Your nose scrunched at the ticklish feeling, your adorable expression melting his heart.

Hanbin couldn’t help but mentally applaud himself for planning this. You always talked about how much you loved nature and wanting to go camping. You would tell him stories about how back home you would always go camping in this hill that you were certain only your family knew about. Ever since you moved you missed those moments.

He had spent weeks looking for a place like the one you showed him in photos and everything else working itself out was pure luck.

The weather was beautiful and the smile on your face was worth every moment he spent traipsing up and down landscapes. This particular piece of land is owned by the sweetest elderly couple who were happy to rent it out when Hanbin told them about why he wanted to surprise you. Their only condition was that they got invited to the wedding.

He spent the morning setting up the camp site while you walked around in bliss. Every now and again you would try to come help him and he would send you away. After the tenth time of him scolding you, you gave up and went to enjoy the view.

You couldn’t believe he actually found a place like this. Everything was perfect. The butterflies were friendly, the birds were singing, the grass was soft and smelled sweeter than the nectar from the flowers that ruffled in the wind.

Once Hanbin had finished up he led you back over to the campsite. He beamed with pride at the look of joy on your face while he showed you everything he prepared.

The tent was cozy and the cooler he brought was packed with food and your favorite wines. He had prepared a picnic basket with lunch and you guys would cook dinner together later.

“You can pick the spot.” He said picking up the basket.

“Oh!” Your eyes lit up as you grabbed his hand and pulled him along. “I know just the place.”

You couldn’t stop smiling as you dragged him back up the hill you marveled at moments ago. From up there you could see across the way where the owners kept horses and even a little stream where frogs had gathered to play.

Hanbin laid out the blanket and you helped him unload the basket.

Sitting down you popped a grape in your mouth. Hanbin laid his head on your lap opening his mouth as he waited for you to give him one as well.

“Sit up first, I don’t want you to choke.”

He laughed but repositioned himself on your lap so he was leaning against your chest. He opened his mouth again and you fed him the long awaited grape. You continued on that way with you feeding him while you told him about your stressful week. He listened intently while he took in the beautiful way your face lit up with every expression.

Hanbin suddenly sat up and pulled out a banjo from the basket. His fingers strummed away at a tune while he hummed along to the melody forming in his head. You were used to him and you knew right away that a new song was spinning around in the genius brain of his. Without him having to ask you pulled out your phone and recorded a voice note for him.

“I like it. It’s pretty!” You said while clapping when he was done.

“I was thinking of you.”

Blush bloomed in your face and you looked away, unable to hold his heart fluttering eye contact for much longer. He set down his instrument and his fingers smoothly slipping between yours.

“Did I mention how stunning you are?”

You looked back at him, your blush still raging in your face.

You caressed his face, gazing into his sunset kissed eyes.

“Thank you for this. I really needed to get away and clear my head. This is all so perfect.” You said, never looking away from his eyes.

“You deserve it. And besides I needed this too. Just me and you. We don’t get time like this often.”

“So…” you said, a mischievous look now twinkling in your eyes.

“So…?”

“What should we do with all this time?”

Hanbin could feel the shift in mood with the way you looked at him with hunger.

“I can think of a few things.”

You smirked as you slid your hand up his leg.

“Really?”

He caught your hand, pulling you closer to him as he laid back on the soft grass.

He gazed up into your eyes, his fingers softly grazed your cheek before playing in your hair and resting behind your neck.

His lips ghosted across yours as he took a moment to savor your presence. When his warm lips finally embraced you you felt the warmth spread through, igniting in your core. You leaned into the kiss, swallowing his every movement.

Hanbin's hands danced along your body as he tried to see just how much of you he could hold at once. Your fingers combed through his soft hair as you let his touches consume your every sense.

His fingers caught onto your zipper and the next moment you were laying atop him bare. The gentle breeze caressed your back but it was the way Hanbin's strong hands felt against you that sent shivers through your body.

Holding on to you he rolled you over. Now sitting up he pulled off his shirt before he finished pulling your clothes off of you. A moment hadn’t before you felt his lips hot against your chilled skin. Your perked nipples, a focus of his attention along with your collarbone he always marked with love.

At some point he had completely striped down and you could feel his hard cock against your thigh. Your heart skipped beats in anticipation. Lifting your legs around him you shamelessly begged him to fill you. Feeling just as desperate, he didn't bother to tease.

Hanbin held onto your hips, lifting you closer to him. The feeling of him slowly filling you was already enough to send stars scattering through your mind. His emotions mirrored yours as he felt your warm walls tight around him. Both of you were completely lost the moment his hips moved against you.

You held onto him as you tried to process the moment all while his every stroke sent your mind spinning wild.

“H-Hanbin…ah” you mindlessly muttered.

The way you said his name was dangerous and the only response he could manage was a grunt against your sweet skin. His mind was consumed by the way you squeezed around him. The was your soft kiss bitten lips pouted with delicious sounds hanging from them. The way your lust flushed cheeks glowed in the parting sun. The way your lush body felt against his.

“I’m so close….” You moaned as your climax approached.

“Let go baby.” He whispered in between dustings of feather-like kisses and soft moans.

Coasting along his sweet voice you let the waves of pleasure crash against you in pulses. Your breath was knocked out of you as he chased his own high which followed soon after.

The haze of pleasure faded away and he pulled out of you before resting next to you.

You rolled onto your side facing him and he followed suit, your hands naturally grasping each other.

His deep brown eyes now weighed heavy with satisfaction as he traced your features in his mind. Your eyes fluttered as you fought to stay awake and you two eventually headed back down to the tent to avoid falling asleep in the grass.

The warmth of the setting sun bathed the moment in golden love as Hanbin held you as close as possible.

If you liked this click HERE for more!

🔁 Don’t forget to reblog if you enjoyed, it helps a lot! 🔁

#🍋’s thoughts #🍋’s 🐢 anon #🐢 anon #hanbin smut #hanbin scenarios #kim hanbin scenario #kim hanbin smut #kim hanbin #hanbin imagine #request #🍋’s moots #🍋’s requests #🍋’s creations #b.i. #b.i. smut #kpop solo artist #kpop smut #Spotify

[lemonhemlock]

So then, maybe a weird ask, how would you write or explore Lucemond?

So, a couple of months ago, I accidentally stumbled upon this lucemond fic that completely rearranged my chakras. Thing is I tried to find it recently but couldn't, so perhaps the author deleted it, which is such a pity because it was truly spectacular. I don't remember a whole lot bc it was late at night when I read it (thinking I would come back to it later), but it was very much surreal poetry body horror. I am not a gore girly at all, but the language was mesmerising. I happen to have sent my bf a few snippets for shock value (also not a gore enjoyer), so I can share the little of it I saved:

The tender jelly of Lucerys’ eye bursts like a ripe grape between teeth, climbing, sheer white, up Aemond’s blade, as if it were dripping wax.

Its viscous liquidity leaving no gruesome trophy or good-luck charm to pickle in vinegar and make a gift of, Aemond decides to lick the mucoid fluid from the metal and impel it through his own flesh. When he puts the blade to his tongue no taste but that of his own blood stains the quivering muscle.

If the author of this fic happens upon this post, I'd just want to let you know your talent with words was very appreciated. 🙏

Returning to the topic, I would definitely keep this element and lean into the horror aspect. I'd keep some background jace/luke as vibes, with aegond on the opposing side to make it as spicy and convoluted as possible. (It took me ages to remember I have a jaceluke tag since I hid it so well from team black I ended up hiding it from myself, too. Updated my tags list with this occasion lest we forget!)

Readers of my blog will know by now that I sometimes go on rants about The Magnus Archives, but, bear with me, I think we could borrow some elements to make lucemond really extra fucky. So, within the TMA universe, there are several entities that govern different sets of fears and the one I like the most and the one I think fits really well here is The Beholding - so lots of eye imagery, the fear of being perceived, of secrets being revealed, of forbidden/awful knowledge, of knowledge that would destroy you, of being exposed or shamed or judged. The problem I have with Luke (which permeates a lot into lucemond fics) is that he's so fucking boring and milquetoast & doesn't really react / isn't affected enough by the events surrounding him, so much so that it kind of turns him borderline sociopathic, just in the most boring way possible. So let's give him some internal conflict!

I would give Luke a serious case of scopophobia, basically turn him into the perfect victim for the Beholding. Make him realise deep down that he's a bastard and how much danger he's in because of his mother's lies and gaslighting. Make him terrified of becoming Lord of Driftmark, like actively paranoid some Velaryon cousin is going to slash his throat in his sleep or something (maybe even Rhaena??) Have that intensify after Vaemond's execution, because now the blacks have already spilled first blood in his name. Have him feel increasingly isolated from his family because they feel like he's exaggerating and don't really grasp the gravity of the situation - in addition to more gentle gaslighting done by Rhaenyra, who thinks this is the proper way to assuage his fears (even ridiculous stuff like how he shares blood with Borros Baratheon via Rhaenys), and more violent type of suppression by Jace, who absolutely does not want to hear about how they're bastards and everybody knows about it. So the fear of being perceived, of his "secrets" being revealed, only worse, because they're already out in the open, so what he really fears is shame and judgment, which could come at any minute. Any person could at any time start pointing out what an obvious bastard he is and the entire foundation of his life would start cracking.

This intense fear of judgment would be where lucemond comes into play. Aemond as a person he actively harmed, an act that he did his best to sweep under the rug, absolutely horrified to face him, because that would mean facing his actual crimes; the punishment/retribution for that would have to be immense and he's not in a proper headspace to handle that. When he finally sees Aemond again, fighting fit and ready to go, all those feelings of inadequacy would come crashing down. Aemond casting his single eye of furious judgment on Luke, painfully aware of each and every one of Luke's flaws and planning his wrathful comeuppance!

In TMA, I really enjoyed the statements where The Eye would terrorize their victim* because I personally found it hilarious, so I think I'd try to recreate that dynamic a bit between Aemond and Luke. Whether it veers into body horror and violence or remains at the promise of violence and psychological torment, I think there's a lot to explore in a funky, novel way that doesn't involve this unearned Romeo and Juliet binomial.

If you're really intent on turning this sexual, I think an under-discussed aspect of the eye-gouging is how Luke essentially gave Aemond a huge disadvantage when it comes to participating in traditional masculinity, something that we know Aemond cares a lot about - being a model Targaryen prince, having the depth perception necessary to ride his dragon, his martial prowess, even him being suitably attractive to the opposite sex. It wouldn't be outrageous to presume all of these new issues halted Aemond's sexual and social development and that it would make him feel Some Kind of Vengeful Way about it that would maybe manifest itself not in a very socially-appropriate way. Like, mayhaps, wanting Luke to undergo similar pains? ☠

For Aemond's side, I stumbled on this tik tok once that really encapsulates the kind of vibes I think would be really fun to play with. A corruption arc, being consumed by vengeance, allowing yourself to give into your worst impulses, contemplating the nature of justice etc.

For the aegond bit mentioned above, I really like this idea. Luke pondering which is worse: facing Aemond directly or being decimated by his big brother, who he himself once looked up to.

___________________________________________________________

*Here is an example if anyone is interested in the vibe I'm going for. I bookmarked the clip for when the statement begins, because the rest of the episode is filled with the metaplot: MAG 193 A Stern Look,

Some quotes from the transcripts!

He recognises those eyes. He’s seen them all his life, watching him, judging him, cutting through him so no part of him was secret or safe. They peel away the armour, his carefree smile and practiced shrugs. 

His mind races. He can’t tell the truth, obviously. Elias can’t look this man in the face, and tell him that he is what scares him. That his eyes, the curiosity and judgement that pulses out of them, they terrify him in a way he can’t put into words. He feels that prickly panic building in the back of his skull, that worry that spills through: he knows. 

A cough from over the desk breaks his train of thought. His interviewer is staring at him, and all at once he’s back with himself, burning with embarrassment. Those eyes stare, impassive and stern as ever, but… is that a twinkle of satisfaction? As though he has been given him an answer he likes.

He stops. Those eyes. They know. They can see right through all his bullshit, right to the core of him. They know what he really thinks.

#ask #anon #jaceluke tag #based lucemond #greenpilled lucegon #some very disjointed thoughts but there you have it

[robotkiyoomi]

SakuAtsu | MSBY Injury fic, established relationship that’s a forced secret to the public 

Atsumu knew he could still get the ball overhand, he wasn’t going to allow himself to do a bump set. They needed this point or it was over. He wouldn’t – couldn’t let his team down. He finally caught up with the ball and bent backwards as much as he physically could to get beneath it. He was losing his balance but managed a falling set, arcing the ball over the court. He knew who would be there. Who was always there. 

Atsumu’s high was short lived when all thoughts left his head as he landed on the ground. Something was wrong. He knew something was. He had fallen probably as many times as he’d exhaled. Atsumu could hear the crowd roar, was that for them or the other team? But that noise felt like it was much further away than it truly was. Sudden blinding sharp pain shot up his body. Atsumu was so stunned that he couldn’t tell where the pain was coming from at first. However, one look down and he knew where the problem was. His vision was getting blurry from the pain but he knew his knee did not look right. Was it dislocated? Broken? Could that even happen? He cursed himself for not listening to Iwaizumi’s lesson on common sports injuries a couple months ago. But he had never once been severely injured playing volleyball so seeing how many grapes Bokuto could fit into his mouth without Iwaizumi noticing seemed like a more important thing. 

Atsumu felt his head drop back to the floor, the world was spinning too much to look at his knee anymore and it felt like he wasn’t experiencing the sensations of his own body. This was so pathetic. He had been training to take the team all the way to the finals, they hadn’t even made the qualifiers yet and he was injured by an insignificant play. One point of 25 in a set. He heard the whistle blow and some sort of talking, or maybe that was in his head. He felt like he was seriously tripping. Shit. Why did it hurt so much? Samu and him fought all the time and nothing had ever felt like this. Was Samu actually a weak fighter all along? He had dislocated his shoulder before and it felt nothing like this. That couldn’t be a great sign. Yet none of the signs happening currently seemed to be great so that didn’t mean much. 

All the noises were blending together but he had to get back to the court, he just needed some tape and water and he would be fine. 

Miya Atsumu’s guide to recovering from an injury that I definitely can identify, Iwaizumi, I am a serious professional athlete. 

He tried to sit up and move this leg and nearly blacked out from the pain. Nope, that’s not good.

“Love,” suddenly a figure was kneeling in front of him. It was a blur but he could recognize the voice anywhere. 

“Omi,” Atsumu said, trying to sit up again and reach for his knee. 

“Fuck Atsu. Stay down, okay? I’m right here.” Sakusa said, taking one of Atsumu’s hands in his own. More steps came towards him and he felt like a blind helpless animal sat on the ground with his vision going in and out. Sakusa moved so the paramedic could take a look at his knee but he kept holding onto his hand, rubbing small circles on the back with his thumb. Atsumu was so tired. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Sakusa said, brushing the hair away from Atsumu’s face. He knew it wasn’t. 

“I’m sorry, Omi.” Atsumu said weakly. All pride had gone out the window as people crowded around him and the game paused for the interruption.  

“What are you apologizing for? You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. Just focus on you right now.” Sakusa’s name was called and he turned to exchange a few words with what Atsumu assumed was the paramedic. 

“They’re gonna take you to the hospital now.” Sakusa said. Atsumu felt himself being lifted onto a stretcher. He gripped his boyfriend’s hand tighter. He couldn’t finish the game for him. 

“The game-” Atsumu said. His throat felt impossibly dry and had no clue if his words had made any noise. 

“Babe, the game is what matters the least. Take care of yourself. I’m just worried about you.” Sakusa said. He had started walking with the stretcher to stay by Atsumu’s side.

“Sakusa, you need to finish the game, I’m sorry.” Atsumu shifted his glance to see Coach Foster standing there. Atsumu felt Sakusa’s grip tighten on his hand. 

“I’m not leaving him alone. I’m sorry, but I honestly couldn't care less about the game when my boyfriend is hurt.” Sakusa said, gesturing to Atsumu. 

“I know, kid, but we have a lot riding on this game. This involves more than just us.” Coach Foster said. 

“Go, it’s okay.” Atsumu said, squeezing Sakusa’s hand. Sakusa looked down at Atsumu with tears welling in his eyes. 

“I’m not letting you go alone.” he said, shaking his head. Atsumu loved him so much it physically hurt. Volleyball was everything to his boyfriend but right now he meant more with no hesitation. 

“Go win, for me.” Atsumu said, and he could feel tears in his eyes. He wanted to be there to do that, but he couldn’t. Sakusa nodded slowly and bent down to kiss Atsumu gently. 

“One call and I will leave, okay? I’m going to give my phone to Iwaizumi and I’ll leave the ringer on. You need me and I will leave, I don’t give a shit about the consequences. I want you to call me if you need me. Do not feel bad because I want to.” Sakusa said, their foreheads pressed together. 

“What happened to not polarizing our sponsoring brands?” Sakusa chuckled softly. 

“I’m playing while you’re hurt, so I'm going to kiss my boyfriend in public and they can go fuck themselves if they think otherwise and have someone other than my boyfriend model their goddamn clothing.” Atsumu choked out a laugh and lifted his head to meet Sakusa for another quick kiss. A hand patted Sakusa's shoulder and he jumped a little. Atsumu was about to fuck his injury and punch whoever got into his boyfriend’s space, without his consent, into the next galaxy but Sakusa just nodded at the paramedic before turning back to Atsumu. 

“I love you so much and will be there as soon as I can.” Atsumu nodded as Sakusa kissed his cheek. 

“I love you more. Go kick some ass Omi.”

#sakuatsu #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa #miya atsumu #atsumu #msby #skts #sakusa x atsumu #haikyuu #hq #injury fic

[phanfictioncatalogue]

(TW) Drinking Masterlist

50 notes to unbox (ao3) - dylaesthetics

Summary: Dan moves out of his parent's home to start university and his older lifelong best friend Phil is rather an efficient help when it comes to helping Dan unpack, as well as a regular visitor of Dan's studio. What happens when Phil stumbles upon Dan's piggy bank for university savings he crafted as a child and finds it a new purpose? What happens when the truth comes out when it's so needed?

OR an overly cute, long and coming of age multiple part one shot you better read now.

Anthropomorphic (ao3) - Sifi_Ducks

Summary: Just them getting drunk during lockdown

Designated Driver (ao3) - aby55al (orphan_account)

Summary: Pastel Dan runs into a drunk punk Phil at a party. Then they have sex.

drunk words are sober thoughts - danhasacrushonphil

Summary:  The opportunity of a life time comes in the form of Phil Lester actually showing up at a party, all tattoos and bright blue eyes. Dan’s been crushing on him for far too long, so getting the chance to play Never Have I Ever with his crush? Yeah, he can’t pass that one up. What could go wrong?

i don't know why (i can't keep my eyes off of you) (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Starting a new university is hard enough without Phil having to convince his best friend PJ he doesn't have a crush on their other flatmate, Dan. He definitely does not have a crush on Dan.

i don't know you, but i would love to meet you (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: It didn't work out with the guy at the bar, but Phil struggles to mourn his loss when the guy across the table won't stop staring at him.

I Wonder When We're Gonna Make It (ao3) - AnironSidh

Summary: When a new neighbor moves into the town that Daniel Howell has lived in his entire life and finds his safe spot in the town's vineyard, he will challenge Dan's view of himself and his town. Soon enough, they find themselves in an attraction nothing like Dan's ever known and one that those around them cannot understand. This may be Dan's only chance to escape and truly be himself. - A fic for a phandom reverse bang 2020 prompt in which Dan and Phil live near a vineyard, sneak grapes, drink stolen wine, and fall in love despite the times (1980s). Also, in which I project my love for queen onto Dan, because Muse doesn't exist yet and because I can.

Keep These Secrets In A Lie (ao3) - CanDanAndPhilNot (enbycalhoun)

Summary: Dan and Phil are friends. But friends don't act the way they do.

knowing the way (ao3) - watergator (orphan_account)

Summary: dan meets phil at a party

based on the line in BIG, "trust me, i've known a lot of straight guys until a couple of drinks, some deep conversation and lingering eye contact, and suddenly they just start leaning in."

Les Règles du Jeu (ao3) - danfanciesphil (thejigsawtimess)

Summary: Games night at PJ's. Phil wants to play.

Misery and Malibu (ao3) - dip_the_pip

Summary: Going home to Wokingham already made Dan miserable, but being around his old school friends is somehow worse, especially when Phil experiences firsthand the harsh words that were thrown at Dan all his life.

party poison (ao3) - howellesterfics

Summary: Dan wants to get properly drunk on New Years to celebrate the end of a decade, things don't go exactly to plan because he's kinda dumb

Renewable Energy (ao3) - Septic84

Summary: Dan and Phil hated working with each other since a bad business venture, now they are forced to do so again in America. They will need to team up and work together to beat the competition, but can they stop bickering long enough to do so?

something visual, not too abysmal (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: Dan and Phil get ready for the late night, double feature picture show.

the man of my dreams (ao3) - mel_m_a_o

Summary: He first dreamed about this man maybe two months ago. The dream wasn’t really something out of the ordinary and Dan didn’t really remember what it was about, but it stuck out to him, because he wasn’t usually someone who remembered his dreams. He often thought he just doesn’t dream at all, but that certainly changed. He keeps dreaming about the same pale, black haired man and his bright eyes that make Dan wake up in a sweat. He starts to see the face everywhere all the time until he actually does.

vampires will never hurt you (ao3) - howellesterfics

Summary: Dan is embarrassed by his mistake of a Halloween costume, but not everybody has such negative feelings towards it.

we have more in common than i thought (ao3) - manicpixieidiot

Summary; bad boy!dan has a bit of a secret crush on nerd!phil, and when grouped with him in class he uses the opportunity to convince him to come to a party. (what happens next will shock you!!) (not really, no shocks don't worry)

featuring a latin class, a party, becky&jessica, flustered drunk boys. and more softness than intended.

When the Weather Breaks (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: Sitting across from Phil on that worn out velvet Starbucks sofa, sharing sickeningly sweet coffees and what they would like to think were hushed giggles, was the first time Dan felt a glimpse at what real love could feel like. or Perception checks, pining, and peppermint mochas.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #tw #drinking tw #drinking masterlist #drunk

[heldhram]

“Get to Know Me” Tag

Thanks a lot for tagging me @nectar-cellar :)

What do you have under your bed?

Dust? I think. I don’t know, maybe my imaginary boyfriend. He’s shy you know.

Favourite candy?

Hi-Chew grapes baby. Best candy ever invented. 👌

The last thing you drew/doodled was:

A couple days ago. I have not drawn in a very long time and it felt weird to doodle again. I like to draw my sims, but I am not good at it.

Are you completely sober rn?

Oh yeah, I am. I bought a box of Kopparberg (Mixed Fruit Cider) about two months ago from the off-licence next to my workplace, there were like 12 cans in there and I was just about to grab a cool one from the fridge while I played Skyrim, but I must have finished the whole box a while back without noticing, haha.

No, I know what you’re thinking. I am not an alcoholic, even though I sure sound like one right now... fact is, without a friend, drinking on your own is actually very depressing but oddly reflective. One of my guilty pleasures involves getting tipsy on Whiskey/Vodka (I am a spirit guy) while listening to classical music every once in a while.

Not an alcoholic. Nope. 😐😑

What’s the one thing that annoys you more than anything?

Funny about this question is that whenever someone does something that very neatly answers this question, I always think “You know what, if someone asks me what annoys me, THIS must be it.” But when now I am actually trying to answer the question, I have no idea what it is.

Have you ever gotten your tongue stuck to a cold pole during winter?

No, but ice cubes, yes; all the time.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?

Any cosy place where I could enjoy a night of fulfilling, uninterrupted sleep calmly and peacefully.

A morgue sounds very appealing.

What was the single last word you spoke?

Actually no idea, but it might have been

“Mmhmm”

If that’s even a word.

Not tagging anyone because I’m a killjoy as usual.

#non-sims #thanks for tagging me :) #random random random stuff #saviorhide

[survey--s]

518.

1 - When was the last time you met someone for the first time? It was probably when I met Sarah, one of Oakley’s owners. That was ages ago now though, I don’t really tend to meet new people lol.

2 - What’s the longest amount of time you’ve gone without bathing? Just over 48 hours when I’ve travelled to Australia. It was grim but unless we had a long stopover somewhere, I didn’t have any choice lol.

3 - Have you ever cooked with crab or lobster? Could you ever bring yourself to kill a live lobster/crab? No, I’m not really into cooking - I could probably do it though, I’m not particularly squeamish about where my food comes from.

4 - What’s your favourite font? What size and colour do you prefer to use when you’re doing surveys? I like Tahoma size 10 or 12, with black colour.

5 - Have your clothing choices changed since COVID hit and you started to stay at home more? Yeah, I wear leggings a lot more now - in fact I couldn’t tell you the last time I wore jeans lol. I also changed jobs just about when COVID hit and I wear leggings to work everyday too. 6 - When was the last time you went through a drive-through? Uhh, about eighteen months ago lol. We don’t have any drive-thrus anywhere near here.

7 - Which fast food restaurant do you go to the most? What do you tend to order when you go there? Just the local chip shop as we don’t have any chain restaurants nearby. I tend to get chips with cheese and gravy, plus a side order of onion rings. 

8 - Do you own any plaid/flannel shirts? Yeah, one but I haven’t worn it for a long time.

9 - If you eat it, how do you like your steak cooked? What sauces and sides do you like to get with it? If you’re vegetarian, what would you have instead of a steak dinner? Rare please, with garlic fries, mushrooms and onion rings on the side.

10 - Are there any foods and drinks you only have around Christmas? Baileys and full roast dinners.

11 - Does it bother you when dogs jump up at you? Does it bother you less if it’s a smaller dog? It depends. I work with dogs and they all jump all over me when I go and collect them lol. But I wouldn’t appreciate being jumped on by a random dog in the park as I don’t know whether they’re friendly or not. I also hate it when big dogs jump up, mainly because it’s really painful lol.

12 - What kind of animal did you touch last? Was this animal one of your pets? A cat, and yes, his name is Purrlock and he’s eight.

13 - Which colour do you prefer, red or blue? It depends on what shade we’re talking about.

14 - How would you describe your sense of humour? Have you ever offended someone when you were only joking? Dry, dark and sarcastic and yes, definitely lol.

15 - When was the last time you cried - what caused it? I can’t remember the last time I cried.

16 - What’s your favourite flavour of potato chip? Salt and vinegar or cheese.

17 - Do you have a lot of artwork around your house? What kind of art? No. We have a few paintings and a couple of prints but that’s it.

18 - When you paint your nails, what kind of colours do you tend to go for? I haven’t painted my nails in years.

19 - Do you prefer fruit or vegetable juice? What kind of flavours do you like? Fruit, for sure. I like apple, orange (no bits), grape or pineapple the most.

20 - What’s the weather doing where you are? Is that typical for this time for this time of year? It’s raining which is pretty typical for any time of year in England lol.

21 - Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? How did you meet this person? Helen and she’s a client I met through another client, lol. I look after her cats for her while she’s away and she was just confirming this weeks’ job.

22 - Are you eating or drinking anything right now? I have a can of Pepsi Max nearby.

23 - Who was your first celebrity crush? Which celebrity do you like now? Josh Hartnett and Michael Owen. Nowadays I like Johnny Depp and Matt le Blanc.

24 - When was the last time you went to Starbucks? What did you get? Uhhh, about eighteen months ago as we don’t have one anywhere near here. I don’t remember what drink I got either, probably a flavoured latte of some kind.

25 - Do you have a credit card? How much money do you owe on there? Yes, around 2k.

26 - What colours have you dyed your hair in the past? What kind of colours would you like to dye it in the future? Various shades of red and brown, as well as pink, purple and blonde.

27 - What’s your favourite Christmas movie? When was the last time you watched it? Elf, The Grinch (the Jim Carrey one), Love Actually - I watch them all every year.

28 - What’s your favourite brand and flavour of ice-cream or frozen yoghurt? I actually really like Tesco own brand stuff lol. They do an amazing coconut and passionfruit flavour, or a coffee one too.

29 - When was the last time you visited the dentist? December.

30 - What time do you consider to be too early to go to bed and to get up in the morning? When was the last time you went to bed/got up at those times? I’m happy to go to bed anytime lol, I love being in bed even if I’m not going to sleep. I have to get up anywhere between 6am-8am for work, so anything before that is a bit painful lol. I was up at 7am on Friday and in bed by 9pm last Thursday.

#survey #surveys

[poisonouswritings]

1, 10, 17, and 18 for the writer's ask game? :D

𝟙. 𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕕𝕚𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘?

Around seven? First thing I remember doing was some little Pokémon fic with my little trainersona lol. I don't remember much of it but she had a Minun because (at the time) that was my favorite Pokémon lol.

Look at this little shit. 1000/10 would cuddle.

𝟙𝟘. 𝕀𝕟 𝕨𝕙𝕚𝕔𝕙 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕖?

One of my stories is centered in a world where angels and demons exist but they just, kinda,, vibe together. And everyone has different powers depending on their subspecies. Such as;

One Reaper character (Mizuki) has the ability to sense people's phobias and then create illusions of them. Partially to feed off their fear (one of the ways Reapers sustain themselves) but also just cause she finds it funny lol

A Cherub character (Tobias) has the ability to control the growth/decay rate of plants. He carries seeds in his pockets to use for emergencies.

Their child (Octavia) is a Reaper/Cherub hybrid, so she can both manipulate and travel through shadows and has an inherent charm ability so she can get away with her pranks and stuff.

Anyways I think it would be pretty cool to exist in a world like that! Provided it wasn't during the whole 'Ancient Gods Randomly Possess People To Commit Warfare On The Mortal Plane' period of time.

𝟙𝟟. 𝕋𝕖𝕝𝕝 𝕦𝕤 𝕒 𝕗𝕦𝕟 𝕗𝕒𝕔𝕥 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝕎𝕀ℙ

Hah I have so many WIPs it's not even funny. One of them (which I have not talked about on this blog) originally started as a crack fanfic I made about Tom Joad/Jim Casey from John Steinbeck's fucking Grapes of Wrath in English class because I was bored. That somehow branched into a fic about Cormac McCarthy's All The Pretty Horses, also thanks to English class, and then it kinda spiraled from there. Now I have two characters that were originally supposed to be modern versions of Tom and Casey but really aren't, another character that is basically Alejandra from AtPH but if she was slightly more unhinged, and two time travelers who kinda just ricochet around whenever I wanna make a joke. And that's not even mentioning the whole 'modern day M. Butterfly (by David Henry Hwang) where Song rants about how much he hates Panda Express and Rene simps for him while my OC is doing timetravel shit in the background' thing that I also wrote as a joke that somehow ended up just being thrown into the main story because I liked it. I was like,, 15 when I started this. I do a little bit every couple of months.

𝟙𝟠. 𝕊𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕦𝕤 𝕒 𝕡𝕚𝕖𝕔𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕕𝕚𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕦𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖

I'm bad at writing dialogue 😅 but I have this little excerpt from my LL OC route-rewrite that I kinda like. So you can have it;

Context - Kit (my OC) has gotten into a massive fight with Sage wherein they both said horrible things to each other. Her angst over this causes the Astrolabe to 'freeze' her heart (she specializes in ice magic), numbing her emotions entirely and gradually pushing her into an apathetic state.

-----

the longer she sits like this the more shades of gray seem to slip out of her fingers. they separate into black and white. no nuance. no emotion. nothing to be confused by. nothing to be hurt by. 

nothing… 

nothing… 

nothing. 

what's the point if all that exists is nothing. what's the point of anything at all. she seemed to know a few minutes ago. but now it's slipping away. away away away. 

damnit.

She slides back on the crate enough to pick her legs up off the floor and pull her knees against her chest. Still nothing. Still sinking. If she closes her eyes it's like she doesn't exist. No pressure. No feeling. just nothing.

she should feel sick and tired of it.

"We'll come check in on ya in a bit. A'right, lass?" 

She nods and waves a hand vaguely in Arkash's direction. For a second there's silence. Then soft footsteps. One set. Then another. Then another. Hesitant like they don't want to leave her alone. But they do. She tracks them out of the room. Hears the soft thump of the door closing behind them.

right then.

she's alone. loathe to admit it but her coworkers are right. there is a mess she has to clean up. objectively that's obvious. objectively. but subjectively there isn't. subjectively there's nothing. objectively she feels nothing subjective. 

'what's happening to me?'

"̷̛̪̦̺̲̣̾̒͒͗͌̚Ȋ̷̧̤͍̣̺̜̀̓͒͑ ̸͉̗̺͖̙̓͆̽a̵͔͕̝̤̟͔͒l̵̡̡̢̤̞͎͛̈ͅr̶̗̙̖̓̏͂̌e̵͎̓͒̐̽̽̈́a̷̦͖͚͖͔͗̃̔̏̚͜ḍ̴̲̟̱̫̉͒̍̚y̵̡̨̼̟̮̼̽͝ͅ ̸̞͉̙̯̤́͆̄͠t̴̘̏̀̿̀o̴̧̿̔̇̑͠l̷͍̓d̵̡̥̯̠̰̄ ̷̛͈͉̗̰̖̏͆͋̈́̿̚y̵̫̏͒͐̈̓̀̕ọ̶̩̣͈͗́͒̔̓͝ǔ̶̩̜͓͑̚,̷̞͔̮̿͒͜ͅ ̵̨̪̊͑̿͛̄L̷͍̟̜̊̊̏̒̈̆̽u̵̧͖͎͗͠ͅl̴̲̒͂͑̂u̴̡̧̞̣͓̗̞̒̐̿̾.̷͉͓̳̏̿͂͑͛̃̓ ̷̛̤͓̻͒̀͝I̶͙͆t̴̢̊̑̍̔̇̓̆ ̴͍̫͉͕͔͂͊͛͜ḏ̷̿͒͗̿ȍ̴͓͛̋͘e̸̡̥̫̬̼͒̐̈́̋ş̸͙̥͂̉̏͑̚̚ͅn̵̨͋̚'̶̡̜͚͓͉͆ͅt̶̮͈͖̺͍̞͔̅̌ ̷̧̖̻̓̐́̀͒m̵͔̠̙͕̒̓̊ͅa̸̤̖̳͎̭̪̗͠ẗ̷̡͖́̐t̷̨̩͍͊̔͜e̵̯̹̽̉̇̾̉r̷̪̪̜̟̔̄́̅̔ͅ.̴̹͎̗͌̽͛

oh. right. nothing hurts. so nothing matters. 

nothing hurts. 

Nothing hurts.

#fren asks #ozzy answers #ozzy speaks #hi fren <3 #ask game

[purplesurveys]

1479

When was the last time you watched a show for people younger than you? My sister and I watched the newest edition of Blue’s Clues - the one with the Filipino host! - a few months ago.

Have you ever snuck someone into your house before? Nah. My mom always has a way of finding things out, and with her it’s better to spit out the truth then play with her on a game you’re bound to lose anyway.

Would you rather have long or short hair? Shorter hair is fine, but I’m not a good look of just short hair, i.e. bob cuts and all that, on me.

Is there something your significant other does that bothers you completely? I don’t have a significant other, but the previous one was extremely selfish. Like, it’s unbelievable the lengths she would go to put herself first.

Do you get embarrassed easily? Not as much as before. In the past, the slightest discomfort would cause me to turn red and endlessly wince and replay the thing in my head. Nowadays, I can for the most part find the humor in embarrassing situations and make everyone feel less awkward.

When was the last time you changed your bed sheets? It’s been a couple of weeks but I do want to change it as soon as possible because Aki...baptized it a little bit last night, hahaha.

Have any of the wishes you’ve made, came true? Yes.

Would you rather eat something sweet or sour? Sweet, omg I hate sour anything.

Do you think Manwich is amazing or completely gross? Ok well, I definitely feel like I’ve taken this before but I’m too lazy to find another survey to start again haha, so off I go. Anyway, I remember not knowing what this was before (and subsequently looking it up), but this time around I really don’t feel like Googling whatever this is again.

Do you ever watch Degrassi: The Next Generation? I never watched it but I used to have a couple of internet friends in my teens who were super into Degrassi so I knew a thing or two about the show and like, who died and stuff hahaha. I wonder how Day and Lauren are doing now.

When was the last time someone kissed you on the cheek? Earlier today when I was at my grandma and cousins’ place.

How many best friends do you have? I have two, Angela and Andi.

What are two instruments you’d like to learn to play? Piano and violin.

What is your favorite letter? I don’t have a favorite letter.

Did you ever get bullied as a child or were you the bully? I was on both sides of the coin, to be honest. I started as a bullying victim, because apparently having a unisex name as a child is the magic recipe to being bullied to near oblivion...but when I got to grade school and started to learn how to like, stand up for myself, that’s when I learned I could get back at people if I wanted to, so I did.

Did you ever pretend you were a superhero as a child? To an extent. I liked wearing my blankets as a cape and fantasized about flying, but it never went anywhere beyond that, i.e. I didn’t make a superhero name, didn’t associate myself with any superpowers, etc.

When was the last time you watched fireworks? New Year’s, 2022. We have Chinese New Year in February too but I don’t recognize that holiday, so I didn’t bother watching the fireworks that could be seen from our house.

When were you last disappointed about something? A few hours ago. It wasn’t a major crisis lol – I just learned that my cousin’s girlfriend is not into sushi, so I can never get to have a sashimi date with her :((

Have you ever accidentally caught something on fire? Well I’ve never done this, but I’ve watched somebody else as she accidentally caught a table on fire.

Would you rather eat grape or strawberry jelly or jam? I dislike jam to begin with, but if I didn’t have a choice I’d pick strawberry. I’ve had strawberry jam in the past when I would order a croissant at Starbucks and I learned that I was fine with the taste *in the very slightest* lol so I’ll survive.

Do you like canned tuna? Like it’s nowhere near being a favorite food, but I have nothing to whine about.

Which would you rather have as a topping: mustard or mayonnaise? Mayonnaise. Unless it’s honey mustard, you’ll never see me trying pure mustard.

How many pictures are in your room? There are a handful. There a few prints, two posters, and one framed photo.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare before? Nope.

How many children would you like to have in the near future? Two kids is ideal to me, but idk if I’ll still ever have them.

Are you a smoker, drinker, pothead or none of the above? I’m a vaper. I drink too, but not nearly enough for me to label myself as such.

Have you ever cried about something completely stupid? Of course. I’m sure everybody has at least once.

Do your parents ever send you to do their grocery shopping for them? No. I’ve volunteered in more recent years, but they’ve never gotten around to taking the offer hahaha. Thanks for reminding me! – I’ll raise it again soon; grocery runs sound more and more exciting to me as I get older LOL

What’s your all-time favorite song? I’ve never made it a goal to pick one. That’s just impossible for me...I go through different phases and interests and favorite artists in life, as I’m sure the next person does - and pinning my favorite down to just a single song would drive me crazy.

Would you ever think about getting your nose pierced? I’ve considered it many times in the past but my fear of anything sharp stomps any possibility of getting a piercing.

Do you know anyone who has a speech impediment? Yes.

Have you ever wanted someone to just go ahead and die? Uh, sure.

When was the last time you broke up with someone? I’ve never broken up with anyone, but I was broken up with last 2020. It’ll almost be two years.

Have you ever cheated on someone or been cheated on? Neither has happened. When was the last time you locked yourself in or out of somewhere? I lock my bedroom door on the days my mom is home, because she never knocks and I’ve had enough of it.

Has anyone of the opposite sex ever hit you before? Yes, my brother slapped me across the face before and he has not heard from me since then.

Do you have a cousin who gets everything you want? I’m past the age of ‘wanting’ stuff, to be honest...but no, I don’t seem to have any cousins who are spoiled rotten to the point of being ridiculous. 

What’s your favorite gaming system? I don’t really have one.

When was the last time one of your friends betrayed you? It was in like 2019 when Patrice started this conspiracy/rumor thing about me...the details of that I no longer feel like going over because it’s stupid, but the move took me aback. It’s like, are we really still conspiring against other people in our 20s???? Lmao. I never even considered her a friend before that, so that instance only helped cement my already-not-so-kind feelings for her.

Have you ever wanted to just jump off the top of a building? Yes, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had that urge. Fortunately, it’s been a while since it last visited.

What is your favorite kind of fruit? Avocado.

When was the last time you thought someone was completely pathetic? Every day I encounter a Marcos supporter. Relatives very much included.

If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was a few months old.

Is there something you want more than life at the moment? A month-long leave and if possible, I want a new job but get to retain the people I work with. 

Have you ever had a significant other who hit you? Nope.

Has anyone ever called you stubborn? Yeah, many times. What is the meanest thing someone called you? Being called ‘useless’ really fucks with you for years.

Have you ever been paid to build something for someone? Nopes.

Are you a decent singer? Nah.

What color is your favorite hoodie, if you have one? Navy blue.

Would you rather wear hoodies or jackets? Hoodies.

When was the last time you were asked on a date? Ages ago.

Who is the one person you trust the most? Angela.

Who is your favorite comedian? I don’t have one. I’m not a super big fan of comedy.

Have you ever been so hungry you could eat anything at all? Sure. That’s what happens when you only eat one dish a day, hahaha.

Do you own any exercise machines? My mom does, but I never borrow those.

Where was the last place you went? I’m at a Starbucks now waiting for Andi so we can head to Ateneo and watch an indie wrestling show; but before this, I was at my grandma’s place.

#survey #surveys

[lunaxriax]

Odds for Jinae?

-🦋

distract me pls

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

Nope. I do have a little crush on someone, though.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

Kitty

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

Yes.

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

Yes, I have.

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

Mine, a friend's and that's it.

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

I don't really plan things and just see how things go? Because I hate planning things and they don't go the way they should.

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

Neither? I'm not really a dog person.

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

Zoo!

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

My first phone contact is my brother, so very long.

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

I think I'd rather be set on fire.

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

I don't know. I don't really have too many good thoughts and memories about marriage.

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

Right now, none.

25: What’s on your mind?

I want to go swimming!

27: What is your favorite color?

Any pastel color.

29: Who are you texting?

Right now, no one.

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

Plenty of times.

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I don't think so.

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

I'd feel a little hurt about it but I wouldn't mention it because I'm not dating that person so it doesn't matter.

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Yes, I am.

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

I don't think so.

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

On my knee.

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

I have those thoughts occasionally. Only because I'm used to moving around and never staying in a place for too long.

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

All of my shoes are favourites! I have a shoe obsession, honestly.

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

Oh gosh, that would be a funny look, don't you think?

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

Yes.

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

A couple of my friends do, I don't know why. Shopping is fun!

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

Not really. I'm used to people leaving, so I learned to live with it.

55: How is your hair?

In desperate need of a trim and maybe some deep conditioning

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

When I was younger I was convinced of that but as I got older, I started hoping for it more rather than believing it.

59: Green or purple grapes?

Both!

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

I wish I was at a nice beach with a cocktail.

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

I have no idea.

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

Yes.. unfortunately

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

No, I haven't.

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

A lot of times, yes.

71: How many fingers do you have?

10

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

Still 26

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

They tried to kill me, so that was dealbreaker!

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

A few.

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

No.

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

One.

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

I don't know. Maybe

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

Yes, I would care. Because I can understand it.

87: Who was your last received call from?

A co-worker

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

Self respect.

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

Yes. It's nice.

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

Maybe. I have lots of secrets, but I'm not sure if people need to know about any of it.

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

Nope, no problem at all.

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

I have.

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

No, I don't.

#fluffybrowncat #( Jinae; replies ) #// Thank you love! ♡