#I RANTED AGAIN. one day ill talk about it specifically dont worry i have ranted too much for one time only lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

permanentclawgrip · 10 months

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okay this was originally part of my roommate rant post but imma do it separately because its more of a critique of a mindset:

I do not understand rapid completionist collecting culture

i know what youre saying, "eve, what the fuck are you talking about that makes no sense" let me explain

theres probably a proper term for it but I've noticed a worrying trend specifically in online spaces recently of rapid completionist collecting culture. basically a subculture of wider collectors which focuses on the attainment of a "complete collection" as fast as possible and often with a disregard for the actual content of what they are collecting. i have seen posts about this in comic collecting forums. ive seen similar kinds of posts on video game forums. my experience with it has been through my roommate though, who i will kind of vaguepost about (nothing new for this blog tho).

My roommate, who we'll call Adam (not his real name) for the sake of brevity, has a real strange relationship with these cultures. I first noticed it soon after i moved in with him, when he decided to watch every publicly available tv show and movie that marvel has made,,, ever,,, including every ,,, single ,,, saturday ,,, morning ,,, cartoon. this small feat took months. all catalogued in a nice tidy spreadsheet noting the runtime of them, the episode count of the shows, which storylines were adapted (iirc), and his overall rating (again iirc). this was not a months long project because oh he only watched an episode or two a day, no not at all. i would leave for work with some x-men cartoon playing in our living room and come home to fantastic 4 playing instead. every day. hours upon hours. it was not a simple, "oh one day ill watch them all eventually". it was a dedicated marathon of back to back to back marvel. it honestly completely burnt me out on all things superhero just being in proximity to it.

so what is there to take from this? "let people like stuff!" "its just a show why are you so mad?" well its hard to put my finger on it to be honest without sounding pretentious or hyperbolic. ill try my best...

in just a second...

first lets get pretentious!

i personally find this style of engaging with content to be very shallow. ive always kind of had a bone to pick with background watching, having a show on while doing some other task, but this is different. while background watching is annoying imo, most of the time people are doing so with shows that are kind of built for that (think sitcoms or light dramas) where you can kind of tune in and tune out on a whim and the point is more on the other activity that the show is the background stimulation for (i.e. homework, sewing, cooking, hanging with friends, etc.). in short, when background watching, the point is not to really watch the show. so that should be the polar opposite to what my friend was doing, right? nope! all these stats and all this time, just to usually be playing destiny or scrolling through DiscussingFilms' twitter posts for most of it. this is a recipe for not really getting anything from these shows.

secondly, the binge model is kind of horrible for story engagement or thematic understanding. there are very few stories in long form media which adapt well to binging. it has been discussed before, so im not going to re-litigate those arguments here, but suffice to say that binging is bad actually. pair that with these shows mostly being background fodder and it just strikes me as profoundly pointless.

Maybe I just have different wants from my media than others, but i usually like my media to have a point beyond just "it looks cool" or "it belongs to an ip i like". spin offs dont really excite me unless theres a reason for it to exist beyond just "hey look at this cool side character! guess what? theyre a main character now!" yes a lot of good stuff has come from "spin off" series (look at puss in boots: the last wish as just one example), but their mere existence will never excite me. i prefer to really watch movies or tv shows that im interested in: dim the lights, grab some popcorn, and set aside time to really engross myself in every detail. its not for every show and it is a little time consuming, but the depth in every piece of art that you learn to see is so worth it. but maybe thats not everyone priority.

okay now lets get hyperbolic!

im not going to sugar coat this and itll sound weird, but i see a lot of similarities between this kind of hyper obsessive yet shallow fixation and some very very disgusting subcultures online. and i dont mean that because i dont understand them. i mean that because i am sadly referencing many of the boys and young men who fall down the alt-right pipeline through porn fixation. if you do not know what i am talking about, youll have to trust me on this because i do not think that anyone should look these things up on their own because good god every trigger warning possible applies if you look at some of these peoples accounts. they make my stomach churn and i am pretty resilient to things. basically for those who dont know, what im referring to is a subculture of predominantly young men who become obsessed with porn and porn stars to the point that it is all they can think about. if this is giving hints of incels, it should because the venn diagram is actually just a smaller circle within a larger circle. their obsession and incel nature leads them to the expected political and social beliefs: misogyny, transphobia, grooming, forced marriage, etc. truly some of the worst humans.

now is this a leap? admittedly yes. but i dont think the comparison isnt without merit. the initial actions are the same and both lead to heavy levels of social isolation. sure you have your in group that understands every reference you make, but beyond them, you become stunted. that social isolation is the most dangerous fuel for a man to have.

overall thesis

i could write at length about this topic (and who knows i might one day) but ill keep it brief for now. in short, this trend of hyper obsessive binging that ive seen is extremely confusing to me at best and potentially dangerous at worst. i wish i had a way to break people's habits with this kind of thing but sadly i do not know how.

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heyitsyn · 3 years

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MANAGER!SEIJOH AU

a/n: this is kind of an au like what if you were

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

- 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i would like to request a seijoh!manager reader who’s a first year and is siblings with ushi and the team’s reaction to finding out that she was supposed to go to shiratorizawa with ushi and their reaction with her getting along with the shiratorizawa volleyball team and maybe the manager is a small cute soft little energetic ball of sunshine 🥺🥺 also hewwo, hope youre doing well! ☺️ -🎷🐛

- Ir seijoh manager series is so gooood. Can we get something where by some weird reason yn-chan is close to ushijima and tendou and the seijoh boys dont know about it and how they'd react to her being so affectionate w them ahahwindkdn

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HOW FREAKING PRETTY TENDOU IS LIKE AKLFDJLASKFJDLSKFJDSFLKD

okayokayokay

so this is a what if thing

like what if ushijima was your older brother

SLKFDJADFLIJSDKLDF I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE OIKAWA SCREAMING

you didnt exactly have the best relationship with your mom

you remember when you were younger that she used to yell at your brother for using his left hand and you got angry a lot because you were fiercely protective of your brother

this caused her to yell at you too for being nosy and being involved in something you shouldnt be in

duh we know that ushi’s dad takashi actually supported him for this and protected him too and you were also a papa’s girl so you always ran to him

he understood you both better and while your mother worked, he was at home taking care of you two

then when they mentioned wanting to separate, you were very sad but somewhat relieved

mostly because you hated hearing your parents arguing and you felt bad for your brother as he constantly did whatever to get you out of the house

thats what brought on your love for volleyball

you werent exactly the best player but you were interested in it and often watched matches with him

but you also liked volleyball because your brother liked it

you liked whatever your brother liked

he adored you too and he was a boy who didnt talk much due to your mother but he was always a talker with you

especially when you couldnt sleep, he would sneak you out of your room and you both would run to the kitchen and eat ice cream

even with just a 2 year age difference, he looked as if he was older than you due to his massive height

‘just wait nii-chan! i will drink enough milk to reach your height!’

*insert lenny face*

AKLDJFSLDKFJDF I HATE MYSELF

CAN I PLEASE DIE

however

when they divorced, you thought your father would take both you and ushi

like the lady at the court even asked you where you wanted to go and not a breath of hesitation you chose your father

you weren’t very concerned because you knew your brother was going to choose your dad as you both were closer to him

so imagine your surprise when he said he didnt care and naturally, the mother would get the child

lowkey you felt hella betrayed and when your dad whisked you away overseas, there was this grudge you held against toshi

yall youre like 5

i would be hella mad too if my brother chose the person who yells at him all the time

in california, your father made sure you still remembered your brother and you tried to detach from the japanese lifestyle to your new one but you just couldnt

maybe around 6 years you were already fed up with the hot california heat and you wanted to go back to japan to see toshi again

you got over that grudge years ago but your mother refused to have any contact or anything to do with your father and so that included you too

she refused to let you both video chat and any type of connection

your dad obviously noticed your sad expressions and your obvious longing to go back to your brother again and so he arranged something

you shut the door gently before taking off your shoes by the doorway

the large house was often quiet except for the constant typing of a keyboard in your father’s study

‘tadaima’

you meekly mumbled but his sense of hearing never wavered so he heard your voice

‘oh? y/n?’

his voice echoed through the hallways and you heard his chair squeak as it was moved back so he could stand

your sock-cladded feet padded against the hard wood floor and you walked towards his study where indeed he was standing there

your father has definitely aged yet his job as a coach made him as fit as he was decades ago

as much as it disgusted you, you could tell what your friends meant when they said your dad was good-looking

they actually said your dad was hot but you refuse to acknowledge that

you and your friends are like 12 tf

you closed the door and sat down on the loveseat at the corner of the room as it was your designated spot

‘hey, papa’

you greeted with a smile and he gave you the same grin

‘i ordered f/f (favorite food) for dinner tonight so try and listen for the bell to ring, okay?’

you nodded

there was bit of small talk and you asked about his team while he asked about school and you both arranged to hang out over the weekend at some ice cream shop

the conversation dragged on until you heard the doorbell and you ran to the door to answer the delivery man

your dad put out the plates on the table and you excitedly dug in

‘also, you remember your grandmother? and her terrible back?’

oh god of course you did

they lived about 30 minutes away from your house in japan and she constantly worried your father bc the woman was approaching 90 and was still picking peppers!

with old coach ukai

‘what did she do now?’

your father chuckled at the exasperation in your voice

‘she misses you. says something about the family’s princess needing to go back to her country or something’

there was a smile in your face

your grandmother was your favorite and she always said you were the princess

she hated your mother because of how insensitive she was so she only acknowledged you as the only other female in the family

obviously your brother was also liked but there was just a special bond between you and your grandmother

‘so when are we going back?’

you asked and it was clear that you were excited at the thought of going back to japan as you havent been back since you moved due to your father’s busy job and your school

takashi swallowed his food before revealing the news

‘actually, if you want, you could finish your schooling there. but only until college first though because your old man needs you over here too’

nah bro you didnt even care about the last part

literally your fork fell to the table and you shrieked

‘WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!’

and thus brought you back to japan

you stayed with your grandmother on your dad’s side and you quickly got accustomed back to japan life

your BROTHER!

okay

so waka-chan def heard you coming back

your mother was grumbling about it the other day and he was sure he heard your name in there

‘sdkfjkdslfjdkslfj y/n dkfjlsdkfjldkf’

LMAO THATS ME TRYING TO SAY THAT WAKA COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE SAID SINCE SHE WAS MUMBLING SHE WASNT KEYBOARD SMASHING LMAO

there was a mutual giddiness in there too and he was excited to see you again after many years without contact

however

there was a bit of fear in there that thought back to when you were younger and his choice of not really having a specific parent despite your pleads to stay together with him

but he was going to make sure your bond was still intact!

he would do anything in his power to do so!

when you arrived

your dad accompanied you back to japan and you both were walking out to the exit of the airport when you saw your grandmother excitedly waving a sign around

in bold sparkly letters, it said ‘USHIJIMA’

okay wait i love grandma usui

you quickly ran over to her and she grasped you into her arms

‘nana’

you sobbed and she hugged you tightly

‘im so happy youre back home’

your father shook hands with the friend she brought to help drive you guys back home

old man ukai was basically the chauffeur but hes really good friends with your nana so it was okay

the entire ride you guys basically caught up with each other and you couldnt help but laugh whenever your dad would go on a rant about your grandma being too reckless and your nana defending herself

‘oh stop it, takashi. i was only given one life and if it’s over, it’s over. for now, ill live it how i see fit!’

your old family home was exactly as you remember it but you didnt expect the 6′2 boy in the living room

‘nii-chan’

you meekly whispered and he let out a soft smile before opening his big arms

you ran into them and he held you tightly

‘i missed you. so much’

he whispered and you nodded

it was def such a nice thing to have your brother again

oooo your dad been knew that you would be sticking to waka like you did when you were itty bitty young

so when you practically begged waka to stay at your nana’s house the entire summer, he couldnt refuse you

duh your mom went to see you but you just quietly sat there and smiled at her

polite but distant

due to being around waka so much, you naturally went to his volleyball practices and their training camp

there

you met his friends and you guys quickly got acquainted especially with tendo bc he was just so fun

and he was your brother’s boyfriend best friend

the others were still kinda distant with you ahem ahem im looking at you shirabu

but they were mostly amazed at how powerful the genetics played in your appearances because wowza you were beautiful

lmao dont let waka hear them say that bc they would be benched all season in a single snap

during training camp, you usually sat at the sides or you would be their stand-in manager

goshiki absolutely LOVES you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOSHIKI MY SON MY BABY

him and you were the same age so there was an easier way of being friends and your energies just matched so well

he would run up to you whenever he got a play right and you would ruffle his hair affectionately

LADKSJFLDSKFS FLASHBACK TO TENDO!SISTER X GOSHIKI

‘y/n-chan!’

hell even ushi was getting annoyed at goshiki’s constant need for you

tendo would steal you away and he would be giggling to you about how adorable you were and you just giggled along bc wow this beautiful man is really talking to me right now

ALKSDJFLKSF CAN YOU TELL IM ALSO A TENDOODOO SIMP?

‘cmere, y/n-chan. i taught toshi this the other day and he was very impressed and wanted me to do it again. okay so it goes in a rhyme, ya ready?’

you nodded along and he shot you a close-eyed smile before starting to draw on the dirt with a stick

‘there once was a man with-’

lets just say

you were definitely your brother’s sister

sometimes though

you would try and go towards the calmer players to get away from the rowdiness from baby daddy tendo and baby goshiki

you would find them at the gym just doing drills and at the sight of you, they would turn red but continue playing

they didnt really mind seeing you there bc youve always been such a positive energy and cheered them on which gave them strength

‘NICE ONE OHIRA-SAN!’

‘WAHHH SO COOL YAMAYAMA-SAN!’

you were like a cute ball of serotonin >o<

‘wah, of course its expected for you guys to be the top in the prefecture. youre like,,,,, silent but deadly~!’

duh a compliment from a girl?

dead

shirabu’s bangs would get in the way of his vision sometimes yall i will never stop making fun of that ridiculously adorable haircut so you would use a clip and tuck it away for him

this big babie is so awkward that he turns red when you whisper in his ear that you were done

semisemi baby and you got along bc you guys had a similar taste in music and because you lived in california, he was fascinated that you were in the music capital of america

‘did you see celebrities down the street?’

he asked you excitedly one day during lunch

you stopped then smiled softly

‘semisemi-kun, i didnt live at that part of california’

nah to him, america is just filled with celebrities

OH DEAR BABY BOY KAWANISHI

taichi is a generally quiet guy

like you thought he was actually selectively mute when you first met him

but you gradually got him to talk and you would help him whenever he would want to practice

usually it was during the ungodly hours of the morning

you woke up and went to grab a drink from the common room but you noticed his large build exiting the door so you followed him into the gym

‘kawanishi-san?’

you called out and felt guilty when he jumped

‘oh, hey’

he aknowledged

‘wha-’

you stopped to yawn causing your eyes to close making you miss the brief second of softness that flashed in his eyes

‘what are you doing?’

you tiredly asked

taichi dusted off his trackpants after kneeling down to rummage through his bag and you couldnt help but gawk at his height

‘im training early’

he answered

‘why? is it because you want to keep up with the others?’

you mumbled and he was surprised for a second but reverted back to his stoic expression

‘i have to make sure i am able to reach my seniors level for next year’

taichi turned away to grab a stray ball and you moved to go to the storage room for the ball cart

‘oi, what are you doing? go back to bed’

he said from the other side of the gym but you just looked back at him with a tired grin

‘meh, i want to spend time with you, senpai’

you reasoned

he shook his head before walking over to you then ruffled your hair

‘no wonder youre so tiny. you dont sleep enough and let your body grow’

yep that was the closest youve gotten to taichi joking with you

usually, hes training and when hes in the zone, nothing else has his attention but the ball

maybe thats why the others ahem goshiki has said that he was very scary

his game face was practically a mean face

basically you spent the entire training camp with them and then soon, you were going back to school

duh everyone hmm maybe not shirabu bc he most definitely read the school book of rules thought you would be going to shiratorizawa with them

but you broke the news to them one afternoon and imagine the tears from both tendo and goshiki

‘WHHYYYY!!!!’

‘NOOO!!!!!’

‘why can’t you?’

semi asked and you were about to answer when shirabu beat you to it

‘the school doesnt allow late transfers’

oh right

the american school system was set in a different schedule than a japanese school system

it was considered the summer for them yet school already started a few months ago

since shiratorizawa was a very academically and physically prestigious school, they refused anyone who would potentially be late or behind their curriculum

‘so where ya headed to then, chibi?’

tendou pouted and you leaned against his arm

‘hmm some school named aoba johsai? i dont know its near my grannie’s so that’s all that mattered’

oh dear

USHIJIMA NO Y/N WILL NOT ASK TOORU TO GO TO SHIRATORIZAWA

they consider seijoh a rival bc theyve played against them practically in every prefecture tournament and they were worried for that infamous setter

‘ne, y/n-chan, promise us that you won’t be swept away by them! especially a guy named oikawa tooru!’

uhhh

well

tendou’s warning was kinda ignored bc you ended up being seijoh’s manager

hehe

surprise?

but they weren’t really really shocked tho bc they knew you liked volleyball so you would naturally be in the volleyball team

even as a manager

meanwhile in seijohhh

OooOOOoOoOooooo sEiJOOhHHHH~~~~~~

okay so you were actually registered under your father’s last name usui rather than the ushijima last name

therefore you werent exactly immediately known as HEY! USHIJIMA’S SISTER!

you still became the manager the way you did as mentioned in part 1

and you still are their adorable baby manager

you were aware of their oikawa’s hatred for wakawaka so you try not to talk about him even though youre literally the closest person to him

was it traitorous?

maybe

but you actually even help them when they practice

duh the boys are like eyebrow raise emoji

‘wow youre really into volleyball, huh, manager-chan?’

matsukawa commented and you just smiled

‘hmm, my family likes it so ive picked up a thing or two’

LMAO

little do they know your brother is literally the best volleyball player around and is a member of the under 19 team and your father is a volleyball coach in america and would someday be someone iwaizumi hajime (19) would apprentice under

there was a lot of times you thought you would slip up like your home screen was of you and waka but youve been careful to cover it up

BUT

you cant always be sneaky

it was during the first day of the tournament and you were filling up their water bottles I SWEAR WHY IS MANAGER-CHAN ALWAYS FILLING UP WATER BOTTLES when you found a familiar bunch of boys at the end of the hallway just chatting

you havent seen tendou and the boys in so long so you placed the bottles down and rushed over there so quickly

‘TOMUTOMU!’

you shouted and the oddly-haired boy turned and he gasped before grabbing you into a large hug

this grabbed tendou’s attention and he cheered then hugged you too

your giggles and happy cheers were so infectous and they just absolutely missed you so much

these tall boys were at a advantage so someone scooped you up and you were just affectionately being talked to and hugged and LKDSJFSLDFJ SO LUCKY SO LOVED

meanwhile

the plant babies were wondering where the heck you went to

‘y/n-chan?! where is she?!’

oikawa panicked quickly while iwaizumi hit him to shut up

‘be quiet! you won’t find her if you’re too busy freaking out!’

‘ill find her’

matsukawa volunteered and they nodded, feeling at ease of him being capable to find you if you were in trouble

but when he returned empty-handed and with large eyes, they knew something was up

they ran behind mattsun to stop and copy his shocked expression at the sight in front of them

is that

you?

with

shi

oh my god

‘y/n-chan!’

oikawa shouted, being the first to speak

you jumped and your own eyes widened

‘oh. oh no’

you mumbled

the others were so stunned and seijoh itself was so hard to make speechless but they were just shocked

period

‘what is happening’

iwaizumi mumbled

yea the others were just shocked period

‘hey guys’

you waved and you motioned them closer

‘uhh,,, well,,, um they are my friends’

you smiled uneasily and they could see that

‘aaand?’

oikawa signalled you to say everything bc he knew it wasnt the whole story

you sighed

‘ushi,,, jima is my brother’

you mumbled the last part

but they heard you

‘HAH?!’

you cringed and the shira boys were about to move to protect you but they saw you glare at them

‘what? what about it? hes my brother? and?’

you babbled

‘but,, why are you,, in seijoh? dont get me wrong! its just,, youd naturally go to shiratorizawa right?’

mattsun waved his hands around and asked the question thats bugging the team

‘i came to the country late’

‘THE COUNTRY?!’

well,,

turns out you havent exactly told them everything about you yet :/

even when youve cleared the air and introduced waka as your brother, seijoh still didnt say anything

they were stuck in this shocked and surprised moment even at the end of the day and when you went straight to the shiratorizawa team,

they watched with wide eyes as you laughed with goshiki and was jumping around with tendou

‘AH! TOMU! MY HAIR!’

‘TORI-SAN! SATORI-SAN! TAKE THAT!’

wow you were actually really beautiful when youre happy

‘i dont think ive seen her this happy with this much energy’

makki said and they nodded

it was true

you were usually calm and collected and was the perfect balance to this chaotic team

so seeing you so free and loose with them was so refreshing, even if it was with damn ushiwaka

you finally went back to the seijoh boys and they all sent glares to the violet team before sending you a smile

‘you ready to go, manager-chan?’

watari ruffled your hair before handing you your bag to start walking to the bus

‘yea. lets go home’

as you all walked, oikawa was already starting his tantrum

‘y/n-chan~! why aren’t you that happy around us? are we not enough for you?’

oikawa whined and pouted

but you just turned to smiled at him and stopped walking to pat his head

‘im not their manager, therefore im not pressured to act like anyone except as a friend and a spectator. but i try to be as professional as i can with you guys to make sure you dont appear bad to others. and you guys are perfectly chaotic enough, adding me into the mix will just about kill coach’

oikawa didnt seem satisfied though

‘but! thats not fair! they get to see you smile and i dont!’

iwaizumi growled at him to be quiet but you beat him to it

well

you smiled at tooru but your eyes shone maliciously

‘i knew you would act like this, oikawa-san. as punishment, i gave nii-chan your phone number. good luck avoiding him now’

oikawa screamed

a/n: AAWWWWW LETS NOT KILL COACH IRIHATA OKAY? HES LIKE OUR GRANPAPA AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE OIKAWA ALONE WAKAWAKA-KUN!

587 notes · View notes

superpaperclip · 3 years

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Worlds Collide

Woo, a new RWRB fic! Thank you to @handsomeroyalheretic for letting me use her OC Sophia. | Read on AO3 here.

As soon as Alex woke up, he grabbed his phone, scrolling to find a particular notification.

@Jane-Hoesten: Good morning, hon!

He smiled and tapped on Discord, opening to the conversation with Henry from last night.

@certified-texmex: morning sunshine @certified-texmex: sleep well?

@Jane-Hoesten: I know for a fact we were both awake at 3 AM, and I know for a fact we’re in the same time zone. @Jane-Hoesten: I’m sure you can use that brain of yours to make an inference

@certified-texmex: touche @certified-texmex: is that how you spell that? @certified-texmex: eh idc @certified-texmex: anyway whatre you doing today

@Jane-Hoesten: The usual. Class, volunteering, and writing. You?

@certified-texmex: same @certified-texmex: class, work, n volunteering

Smiling, Alex put his phone down before finally rolling out of bed. Texting Henry had become a daily routine months ago, one that Alex greatly enjoyed. They had been following each other for years before Alex finally sent him a message one day. Since then, they talked at least once a day, their friendship quickly growing and flourishing. It was always a nice reprieve from his absolute ass of an upstairs neighbor.

Alex and his neighbor hadn’t had more than a few interactions, Alex didn’t even know his real name- just a nickname, Fox, that one of his friends called him- but that was more than enough for him to have shown his true colors. The first day the guy had moved in three years ago, Alex had gone to his apartment to welcome him to the building. But as soon as Fox opened the door, he had slammed it on Alex’s face, leaving him in the hallway with a plate of slightly burnt cookies in his hands. Since then, they had been verifiable adversaries, going out of their way to avoid each other.

It was a shame- Alex had wanted to get to know him. The rest of the residents in the apartment building were elderly men and women, and while Alex didn’t have anything against him, he had been excited when a guy his age moved in. And, ok, maybe the fact that he was very handsome didn’t hurt. Besides, June and Nora were always bugging him to make more friends. But that had gone completely out the window that first day. Alex wasn’t going to try to force friendship with someone who didn’t want it.

***

When Alex stopped to grab his mail that afternoon, he noticed Fox through the window standing outside of the building, talking on his phone. Lingering at the mailboxes right inside the doorway, Alex couldn’t help but overhear.

“-total arsehole! I don’t understand why. I never did anything to him, he just hates me! Yeah, in my building.” Alex didn’t hear any more than that- he was too angry. Who the fuck did Fox think he was? Did he not remember? Alex huffed back to his apartment, tossing his mail on the couch and heading right to his room. After sending a flurry of ranting texts to June, he opened Discord and went to his conversation with Henry.

@certified-texmex: ugh @certified-texmex: why did i have to get stuck with an asshole neighbor :/ @certified-texmex: f is such a dick @certified-texmex: i did nothing to him but he insists on hating me

@Jane-Hoesten: I’m sorry you have a shitty neighbor😕 @Jane-Hoesten: At least you don’t have to interact with him much. @Jane-Hoesten: Is there anything I can do to help you? @Jane-Hoesten: Do you want to talk about it?

@certified-texmex: nah i already ranted to June @certified-texmex: … @certified-texmex: can i get a sneak peek of what ill see next week? @certified-texmex: if youre comfy w it ofc

Henry was silent for a few minutes, and Alex started to wonder if he messed up. Sure, they’d been flirty, and had sent faceless pictures, but maybe Alex had unknowingly crossed a boundary. Just as he was about to ask if he went too far, a message popped up on his phone.

@Jane-Hoesten: [image0.png] @Jane-Hoesten: Is this what you wanted?

Fuck. Alex was going to die. The picture was a mirror selfie of Henry, his face cropped out. He was wearing a cropped white tank top showing off his pale torso and arms. Fuck. How was he going to survive meeting Henry in person?

***

@certified-texmex: today’s the day sweetheart :) @certified-texmex: you excited?

@Jane-Hoesten: Of course @Jane-Hoesten: I’m looking forward to finally meeting you in real life. @Jane-Hoesten: Are you excited?

@certified-texmex: duh! @certified-texmex: can’t wait to see you!

Today was the day Alex was going to meet Henry. They had agreed to meet at noon at the chess table in Washington Square Park, a popular hangout for NYU students. Alex was almost too excited, and, admittedly, nervous, to eat breakfast. What if Henry wasn’t who Alex thought he was? What if he wasn’t who Henry thought he was? What if they didn’t get along face to face?

Shaking his head, Alex forced himself to ignore his worries and focus on eating some eggs. He managed to make it through his morning class, though his leg was bouncing with nervous energy the whole time and he hardly retained any information. Making a mental note to get a copy of the notes from a classmate, Alex practically sprinted out of the building once class was over. He slowed to a speedwalk as he exited, and then to a leisurely pace as he entered Washington Square Park.

Alex’s stomach was in knots with a mix of excitement, nerves, anticipation, and an unsatisfying breakfast. He found himself scanning the park, though he didn’t know who he was looking for. However, he did see someone that made his shoulders stiffen and his jaw tense.

Heat curled in Alex’s gut as he caught sight of his neighbor sitting nonchalantly at a table. Specifically, the chess table he was supposed to meet Henry at. No. No asshole neighbor, no matter how annoyingly attractive, was going to ruin his first meeting with Henry. Forcing himself to relax, he approached the bench and sat next to Fox.

“What are you doing here?” Internally, Alex cringed at the venom in his voice as he took a seat, but he didn’t acknowledge it. He saw his neighbor’s back stiffen.

“Waiting for someone, not that it’s any of your business.”

Five minutes passed, then ten, then fifteen, and still no Henry. Alex knew he always liked to be on time, early if possible, and he started to worry. Pulling out his phone, he sent a quick message.

@certified-texmex: eta? i dont see you

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his neighbor pull out his own phone. Copier.

@Jane-Hoesten: I’m here. The bench on NYU campus, right? I don’t see you.

@certified-texmex: im sitting on the bench next to the asshole neighbor i told you about @certified-texmex: im the handsome mexican one not the obnoxious blond one

Not 30 seconds after he sent it, Asshole Neighbor gasped and almost dropped his phone, looking wildly from Alex to the rest of the square and back.

“I- you- but I- we-“ The neighbor just gasped at Alex, holding his own phone in his hand. Alex was getting progressively annoyed, both with his neighbor and with Henry for not rescuing him.

“What? What about us?”

“I- I’m @Jane-Hoesten. And you’re @certified-texmex. Aren’t you?” Alex couldn’t believe it. It had to be some kind of trick. His asshole neighbor is his best friend, the person he poured his heart out to, the person he was finally going to meet in person, his Henry? No. No way.

“You’re @Jane-Hoesten? You’re Henry? No way. Lemme see that.” Alex grabbed at his neighbor’s- Henry’s- phone, and in his shock, he let Alex take it. Sure enough, there on the screen was their messages. All of them. Alex and Henry had been living next to each other the whole time, completely oblivious.

“Did- did you know?”

“What? No! Of course not! If I had known, I wouldn’t‘ve complained about you to… you. Although, that wasn’t exactly one-sided.” Alex felt the need to point that out, though he wasn’t sure why.

“Hold on. Your neighbor, F- was that me? I’m the one you’ve been complaining about all this time?” Henry’s voice was incredulous, as if he didn’t know. Alex said as much.

“As if you don’t know. You’ve been an asshole to me since you moved in! I’m not the one who started that.”

“What are you talking about?” At Henry’s baffled expression, Alex sighed and elaborated. “A couple days after you moved in, I baked cookies for you as a ‘welcome to the building’ present. As soon as you opened the door, you slammed it on my face. And then you never acknowledged it or apologized for it.” Henry had the decency to look ashamed, a blush spreading from his cheeks to the tips of his ears.

“You’re right. I was a prick. Not that I can make up for it, but my father had died fourteen months before. I was always a prick at that point, and you happened to catch me on a bad day. I am, truely, sorry.” Alex’s heart leapt into his throat. He didn’t know- how could he- but he still felt horrible.

“I’m sorry, I-” Henry waved a hand, interrupting Alex.

“It’s not your fault. I should’ve at least apologized.”

Yeah, you should’ve.” Alex says, but there was no real ire behind it. They sat in silence for a few minutes, neither of them knowing what to say or do. Eventually, Henry broke the silence.

“Okay, I know I’m not who you were expecting, and you’re not who I was expecting, but we have been talking for months now, even though we didn’t know it. Do you… maybe still want to go to lunch?” Henry’s voice is tentative, lifting at the end in a hopeful question. Alex considers Henry’s offer. On one hand, he hates the version of Henry from the apartment building. On the other hand, he’s also @Jane-Hoesten. How does Alex reconcile the two versions of the other man? He decides lunch would be a good place to start.

“Sure.”

***

“Daddy, can you tell me again how you and Papa met?” 5-year-old Sophia was burrowed under the covers of her bed, looking up at Alex with her big green eyes. Alex smiled, affection filling his chest.

“Of course, conejita. Do you want Daddy and Papa to tell you, or just Daddy?” She scrunches up her face in thought, before proclaiming that she wants both Daddy and Papa. Alex ruffles her hair, then stands up from his seat on her bed and sticks his head out of the doorway. Down the hall, he can see Henry on the couch, reading a book and waiting for him. More warth spreads through his chest at the sight. Henry looks up and smiles when he hears his name, closing the book and walking down the hall.

“Yes, love?” Henry kisses Alex’s cheek, and Alex smiles.

“The princess would like us to tell the story of how we met.” Sophia giggles from the bed, and amusement is twinkling in Henry’s eyes. They step back into the room and sit on opposite sides of the bed.

“Well, it started in an apartment building. Your dad had already been living there for a few years when I moved in.” Henry starts the story with a smile.

“And you instantly fell in love!” Sophia exclaims, giggling some more. Alex and Henry exchange knowing looks, almost laughing themselves.

“Not quite, conejita. When we first met… we didn’t exactly get along.”

“That’s right, Soph. We lived next to each other for three years until we started talking. Do you remember what happened next?” Sophia scrunches her face in thought at Henry’s question, then gasps.

“You didn’t know you were talking to each other! Cuz it was online!” She exclaims, a look of pride on her face. Alex and Henry both beam at her.

“That’s right, princess .When we met in person after talking for months, we were very surprised to see each other.”

“But then you fell in love!”

“Yes, we did.” Henry shifts his gaze to Alex, eyes full of affection and warmth and love. Alex loves those eyes. He loves the piercing blue, loves their expressiveness, loves how they look at him. He loves Henry.

#rwrb #rwarb #red white and royal blue #meg writes #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #henry fox

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elriell · 4 years

Note

Do you ship SQ now?

I am so sorry I have no clue when this was sent as my ask box is awful at notifying me but I think I checked about… idk a week ago? So hopefully you haven’t been waiting too long.

There is a long and a short answer, short is yes. and i have been a multi shipper for a few years now (even tho i haven’t been on tumblr in ages prior) I even made a post about it WAY back when which you may have missed, So I will copy and paste it below (bare in mind this was written years ago when I first sort of began multi-shipping) but it still relates to this day for those who might be confused as I was a 100% CS shipper back in the day, they are still my OTP for the record!

I just started enjoying other areas of the fandom too. If you dont care for the long answer no worries I’ll leave it under the (read more) bar and just ignore it, but if you do want to know a little about my experience and feeling with all the toxicity within the f OUAT fandom back then, then go ahead and give it whirl and come back and we can chat

Hellooooo. *blows out breath* Where to begin…

I made a post months ago about fandom negativity and how over time it got to me, I’m going to copy parts of it over here and add some more, newer thoughts since that post…And hopefully if you have the patience to sit through it you’ll understand a little better by the end.

I am a Captain Swan shipper (along with many other ships), I have been a member of the CS family for years and have loved it, I have made so many lifelong friends that I talk to outside of tumblr daily, however, there is something I have been…struggling, for lack of a better word, with for a little while.

Negativity. Fandom negativity to be specific.

(I also want to preface this by saying I am not calling anyone out at all, people who are discussing and standing up for their characters and/or actors. People who are having debates, wording discussions in way I never could articulate so beautifully, are awesome. I enjoy these posts and reblog them often. This is not directed anyone in the slightest.)

But there has been a lot of negativity surrounding certain areas of the fandom, there is no reason to beat around the bush, I am talking about anti-sq/anti-regina stuff. I see it on my dash from a few shippers, I see it in the “OUAT Spoilers” tag and on twitter and everywhere. There is literally this dark energy everywhere. This hostile feeling, and maybe I am the only who feels it but I am just going to honest and straight up say, it got to me.

It crept up in a way I can’t even explain…

I am the biggest believer in ship and let ship, shipping is supposed to be fun! It shouldn’t matter what is canon and what’s not, it’s about enjoying characters that you think have potential. It’s about discussing it with your friends and making fanart, and just enjoying. And yet at some point during my time in the fandom something in me changed.

I let the bad apples get to me, I let the hateful people get to me and twist my views on an entire fandom. When I thought of the Swan Queen fandom all I saw was the bad, and became so bad that I’d see a gifset or anything in relation to them and feel physically ill. Like a pit in my stomach, like a uncomfortable twist every time they came up.

I realise this sounds melodramatic, I mean how can seeing a gifset actually cause such a strong reaction? Such strong negative emotions… I suppose it was the accumulation of so much anger and bitterness towards the bad apples (and also seeing my dash constantly with negativity, it is like being in a bubble) that I forgot that they aren’t a entire fandom, that I became hyper sensitive to everything surrounding SQ. It was confusing, I absolutely love ships between women, if anything 8/10 i prefer them, being a bisexual women i’ve learned take/appreciate representation where we can get it or possibly get it. [sidenote: it f* sucks that there isn’t more out there and i could rant about that for daaays] but anyways in this one show something just didn’t click originally.

I get so upset when I see posts about how the CS fandom is the most hateful fandom because there are so many amazing people who have become my family and who literally are like literal sunshine and I think to myself “How can you (sq’rs) judge a entire fandom by a handful of bad?”

But then I know what you’re now thinking… Isn’t that what you’ve been doing, Morgan? Yes, yes it is.

I don’t want to argue about which fandom has done the most wrong, or which is more guilty of hate, I just want to move forward. I want to watch the show again and have fun doing so. I want to watch OUAT and not feel annoyed every time Regina is on screen with Emma (because there is no reason for it). I want to watch OUAT with a lighter heart, like I use too back in season 3.

“I don’t know how, but I’ve simply decided to let go of all my hostile emotions, lets call it my new years resolution. At the very least I am trying to and you know what, I think I am getting somewhere good, I felt a lot better lately, my mood is up. You might have noticed a slight increase of Regina on my blog, I saw a gif of Regina looking at Emma (from 4x12) and thought “oh, you know I can see what you mean about the way she looks at her sometimes…” (tbh she looks at a lot of folks that way), it’s simply Lana’s acting. But my point is, that physical negative reaction is gone.

And I am so fucking happy about that.”

-A quote from my months old post

That feeling has only gotten better and stronger in the months ahead, I have followed a few multi shippers and begun to interact outside of my usual circles, and its going good. There are always days were anti’s irritate me but I think that is normal, overall I am happier.

I am so sorry if this feels fake to some of my friends on tumblr, who I have openly talked negatively about characters/ships with, I don’t take back my beliefs on some of their actions or our discussions, I’ve simply chosen to try and move past it. And look at it from a wider lens…

I don’t know if I have properly articulated myself during this post but I really just wanted to get this out in the open because I love and adore the CS fandom but I also want to open up a little more, I know that although I few of my friends on here wont agree with my opinions on trying to be more regina/sq friendly I am sure you’ll support me because you always have, and thats what friendship is.

HOWEVER, back to the main purpose of this swan-queeen side-blog I understand and acknowledge that this is my change, and my choice. A lot of people don’t have to follow me in it and don’t want it on their dash, I have a little under 5k on my main and I know that they followed for a specific set of content. With that in mind I am putting this kind of content on a separate platform, if you want to join me I’d love that, if not I understand everyone has a right to their feelings/opinions.

Anyways I have so much more to say but I’ll stop here or you will be falling asleep, I am always here to chat and discuss things so feel free to hit up my ask/messenger/etc…

#m for ts #m replies #havent had a OUAT ask in so long :')#this show used to own me

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peterpumpkinparker · 5 years

Text

Dropping By- Peter Parker/Spiderman Oneshot

Hi guys! I know its been awhile and wow Ive missed this blog-hopefully this makes up for the 3 months of ghosting <3 Word Count: 800+ Genre: Fluff! Warnings: None!

You stared at your complexion in mirror, not truly happy with the person staring back. Did your hair look fine? Did you look under dressed? Over dressed? Was your makeup too much? Too little? Your head swirled with these unanswered question. You knew know matter how hard you tried, you weren't going to look perfect on this first date.

Peter Parker, your crush since you walked into his chem class and fate graciously put your seat next to his. Your crush since he helped you study for chem after your grades started to slip. Your crush after you realized he was the Spiderman. Your crush after 4 months of pining for him, had asked you out. You thought it was a miracle, but really, everyone knew it was meant to be- and by everyone, Ned and MJ. But he had asked you out to dinner, at some new Italian restaurant, and you calmly said yes even though you wanted to scream.

You smiled at yourself in the mirror, letting the happy memory wash of that day over you like sunlight in summer. You weren't sure you were ready for this date- the butterflies you had were practically eating your stomach from the inside out- but you weren't going to back out now.

You walked down to the living room, hearing your parents in the kitchen. It was almost a half an hour to your date- and you were hoping to give a pep talk to your parents to not make things awkward between you or Peter by asking embarrassing questions. But, to your confusion, your parents looked like they were leaving- when they specifically said they would be home.

“Whatcha guys doing?” you asked casually, cautiously watching your mom pack makeup into her purse.

“Oh, y/n, you look so nice,” your mom complimented, her voice leaving a trace of guilt.

You grabbed a water from the fridge, your hand shaking from nerves.

“Are you going somewhere?” you asked before gulping down water.

Your dad sighed, giving your mom a sidelong look. “Y/n, were sorry, but you cant go on your date tonight.”

You felt your heart drop down to your stomach as shock filled your system. Almost choking on water, your voice cried out, “Why?!”

Your mom gave you a sad look, explaining,” Your father forgot he had a company get together tonight, and he promised he would be there, and he can only get in with a plus one.”

“Its required I have a partner with me to get in,” your dad further explained, “some fancy restaurant or something like that- I know it sounds stupid,” he added, seeing your clearly reproached face, “but your mother and I have to go. And you have to hold down the fort while were gone”

You looked between your parents, hoping for a crack in their faces, a way to wiggle in and get what you both want, but there was no way in.

“So- no date?” you asked helplessly.

“Im sorry, y/n, but- no date.” you mother answered, her voice stern but sympathetic.

You sighed, filling your disappointment replace the excitement. “Guess I'll go call Peter.”

“Alright,” your father called out from the front door, “tell him were very sorry- we'll be back around 9!”

Your mother gave you a quick hug, and after your good byes and the slam of the door, the emptiness of the house made you somehow sadder than before. You didnt want to call him- the dread of letting him down, or him thinking your backing out made you feel guilty. But you found yourself finding his number in your phone, and clicking the call button, the ringing sound making you chew on your nails from nerves.

Peter picked up surprisingly quickly, making the butterflies come back from the sound of his hello.

“Hey Peter,” you sighed, dreading to tell him the news.

“Hey y/n!” he said rushed, as if he had been running for a while, the sound of wind making his voice sound fuzzy. “Im almost there, dont worry, I just gotta couple blocks to go-”

“Are you being Spiderman right now?” you asked, a smile sneaking onto your lips.

“Uhhhh-why you ask that?”

“Cause- I can hear Karen through the phone,” you stated with a smirk, waiting for his reaction.

“Crap!”you heard him curse, making you laugh even though the guilt was eating in your stomach.

“Yeah… I am,” he admitted, “but Im gonna change in the alleyway next to your house- so your parents wont think Im some crazy person when I come to pick up.”

You sighed, burshing your hair to the side. “Peter- Im so sorry to say this, but- you cant come over.”

“Wait- whats wrong y/n?” he asked, hurt in his voice, making your heart ache.

“Nothing, its just, my parents have some stupid company party to go to, and they need me to “hold down the fort”, you said with air quptes, not remembering Peter couldnt see them, “so- the dates cancelled.”

“I really was excited, Pete, I was,” you put in after, rushing your words to hopefully fix any wound you caused him.

“Me too,” he replied after a small silence, his voice smaller than usual.

‘Next week,maybe?!” You hated hearing him sound dejected, so to compensate, you tried to make your voice sound hopeful.

“Kay?” you asked him, hoping he would forgive you for doing this to him.

“Kay,” he repeated, his voice still sounding as if you just dumped him.

“Im so sorry about this Pete.”

“Its not your fault- Ill see you later, I guess. Night y/n.”

“Night.”

You sighed, laying on your bed, hoping the tears trying to crawl up would go away.

“Well,” you concluded to the ceiling, “that didnt go as well as I hoped.”

With no plans for the night, you decided to just do what you usually do on a normal night- blast music and try to do some homework. The night was just about to come, twilight coloring your room with a burst of golden hues. It was beautiful, you had to admit, and again you felt a pang of longing to be with Peter

.It had been an hour of lonely listening to your depressing playlist of sad songs when a sudden knock was heard on your window. You jumped, a scream escaping your mouth as you instantly turned off your playlist.

You craned your head at the window pane, trying to see who the intruder was, but only a pink and orange sky greeted you. You stepped off your bed gingerly, and as you opened the window to investigate the strange sound-Out of nowhere, a red object whipped out from above the window, making you scream until you realized who it was.

“What the hell!?” you yelled, laughing off the fright.

“Im sorry, Im sorry!” Peter unhinged himself from his upside down position, the piece of webbing flying away in the breeze as his feet made contact with your small terrace.

You smiled, nervousness attacking your stomach. “Its okay,” you asked after brushing your hair out of your face- “why are you hear?”

You watched Peter shuffle a little with his feet, his broad shoulders blocking your sight of the railing of the terrace.

“Well, I felt bad that we couldnt- ya know, go out or anything-” he fumbled, “so….” He took a pause, looking at you so intently with those bug eyes on his red mask you felt a little unnerved- like he was staring right into you.

“Uh-Why dont you just close your eyes,” He finally said, the nervousness coming through in his voice. You were confused, so you took his outstretched hand with a suspicious smirk, and you laughed at the ticklish feeling his hand left on yours as he led you out your window.

“Okay, “ he counted, “one..two...three.”

You opened your eyes, and when you did, you were met with the sight of a mini picnic, complete with even a little bouquet of flowers with your favorite Italian food laid out on take out plates. It was the cutest thing you had ever seen, and you didnt know how to react to such a sweet gesture.

You stared at it, shocked- how could you be with someone so sweet and caring?

“I mean, its not much-” he began to ramble as if he was embarrassed about the cheesiness of it, “but I figured since you would be home you might want to hang out here- its okay if you dont but I just thought maybe Id come hang out with you instead of going somewhere so I picked up the food I hope you like the flowers some lady sold them to me on the-”

You laughed, kissing his cheek to make him stop- you knew if you didnt do something, anything, hed probably go on that nervous rant for hours.

“Its perfect.” You smiled at him, happiness filling up in your eyes.

Peter felt relief envelope his body. He wished he wasn't so awkward around you, but you didnt care if he rambled, or accidentally scare you half to death. You were so sweet and funny and new him so well and man, you looked so pretty at this time of day, he wish he could take a picture of you and keep it forever. He sighed, relishing the feeling of your hand in his.

“Wait-” you interrupted his thoughts, “how are you gonna eat?” You pointed at the obvious mask covering his face.

“Oh!” He thought, feeling dumb for not thinking of that and maybe changing before he decided to knock on your window.

He quickly fumbled with his mask, bringing it above his nose so all you could see was a wide grin.

“Better?” he asked.

“Much better,” you smiled, and kissing his cheeck again you yelled: “Lets eat!”

I hope you guys liked this! I havet been active (like at all) so I hope this makes it up! :)

Taggings:

@fratboievans @grandmascottlang @galaxy-parker @hollandroos @honeymoonparker @hazsterfield @itsholyholland @naturallytom @starksparker @underoosstark @uglypastels @underoos-shield @petersshirts @revengingbarnes @th3n3rdyon3 @just4muggles

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highrankingdemoness · 5 years

Text

what do you call someone with a strong annoyance borderline hate of men specifically men who are incredibly (masculine) toxic but would be the shit out of anyone who tried to say a man could be assaulted, or that men should be belittled and mistreated like women?( a rant?)

I remember I got called a terf like maybe two or three months ago and it bothers me because I worry if I could be aligned in that horrible theory. I always thought the main core of terfism was that you are “ gender critical “ and you ironically just like the patriarchy don't think a woman could ever be smart enough to know the difference in literally - anything? i like trans woman too many folks...i like women - cis and trans...they're cute and awesome ...so like how could you not? Im bringing this up because as of late ive had a very angry and almost cold voice that respond when i see violence against women because people felt entitle to people bodies and just like school shootings and trumps camps I have to numb myself too it or otherwise i would literally go on a suicidal/homicidal spree. “ a women’s death is nothing in comparison to a man’s freedom. a woman;s discomfort is nothing in the way of a man entitlement “ I dont like that phrase. i feel like if come off to me as the epitome of femi nzai if that’s even a thing anymore since the men who hated them are most likely real nazis. Listen im 28 and stuck in a house with two men who double-crossed me and are only taking care of me because i decided to quit my job. im only in this house with someone who i thought was literally going to harm and someone who stolen moeny from me becuase as a soceity i have been mold to bend until i break and be gaslighted as “ an irrational fuhmal” not even human if i bring it up. its 2019 and im still tlaking to people who think its ok to count thier two stay at home mothers as an example of why women get paid less because they work less but tell em that the 50 women i work with at a company dont count becuase that’s my just my feelings and smirk and bring up “ toxic feminity” like that not a sub division of toxic masculinity - Because women DID NOT tell other women to compete with other women in order to get men Because women DID NOT teach other women that it’s ok to hit men and that men shouldn't cry Because other women DID NOT teach other women that men couldn't be raped, should always pay the bill Not in the beginning ...that was toxic masculinity but how dare I expect men to accountability for responsibility - that’s just one of the privileges of being a male. and stop telling women when they get hurt by a man that they should of got a guy form thier family. You mean the same guy who was allowed to walk around in thier underwear while i had to fully dress in my home at 9 years of fucking age because my body attracted raped and his didn't or as i like to say it “ boys will be boys but girls should know better by knowing nothing at all”

Listen I don't think the world would be better if men didn't exist. I don't think the world would be better if men were put under the social pressure of women . Im just dont exist in this society any more as hetero passing individual because i dont get along with it’s morals. im so fucking tired of watching women dying because “ a man has his needs...and his excuses “ and before the misandry parade comes put the cuffs again - i dont mind being a misandrist as much as i don't want to be a terf but again im not looking to get in fights with men. I honestly wish i was invisible to them since seeing me as anything as a female is so socially ingrained is impossible and understanding - im not even mad. make go back in the kitchen jokes, shit on my existence, make me play this doll for the sake of your “ cool girl because if i dont letyou hug me, if i show even a sign of resistance to your sexual banter or your anti feminist logic or your victim-shaming statements...im no longer an object of convenience...and i potentially become a another death statistics and to the “ protect the boys” brigade aka the people who come screaming from/the corner of this hellsite like someone told your child santa doesn't exist when a woman says something like “ you know i like getting dress up for other women I try not to think about men “ “ im not here for emotionally unavalible boys” “ I'm not here for men who don't want to fix themselves” ” I'm not worried about children and men “ ” I didn't find him interesting so i didn't give him a chance ” and then you mofos come of the fucking woodwork screaming like a motherfucking banshee ” BOYS NEED LOVE ! IF YOU DONT WANNA FiX HIm HOW IS HE GOING TO GROW ?!” ” DONT SAY MEN ARE TRASH ! TOXIC MASCULINITY IS A RESULT OF HIM NOT BEING LOVE PROPERLY !” ” IGNORE THEM BOYS WE WONT LET THEM FORGET YOU “ * animal like screeching To you ; you dont care about men. You care about the status quo. You think if men become “ as emotional as fuhmales “ (because half of you don't see women as anything but her genitals ) that they will break down. you don't want men to make a connection between the idea that men need to sex in order to be valuable even if that means taking it and that anyone who take sex is a rapist because then men would have to be accountable for their actions. They would feel bad and you wouldn't want your favorite child to feel bad, after all if they feel bad they cant let loose and be the “ best version” of themselves- even if that version of themselves is a fucking dumpster fire. You want them to be the full end of this spectrum at the expense of your less favorite child ( women ). You might be someone who just, in general, have fed into the bullshit that woman are liars ( another concept that makes it easier for rape culture to be prevalent and strong ) and that men are calm, collective beings who are being neglected thanks to feminism and woman not focusing on them. you might think “ well logically if you only tell men they're trash they're going to be trash “ Ive been told i was a bitch , a fake, a slob( that is true. i am dirty af and i will not put on deordorant unless someone coming), pathetic and useless. I decide one day that if i didnt like any of those things i would change it , becuase if i didnt like being those things that i needed to change them for me. I CHANGE WHEN I DIDNT LIKE MYSELF and before anyone says anything i have had depression and anxeity. i have been gaslighted and bully for years but at the end of the day my change didi not come from people cheering me up or tearing me down it came from ME being critical of myself nad my actions. And that’s why you “ what about the boys” people dont love men as much as you say you do . You're so afraid of them becoming something more than your baby boy being more than what you want, greater than what society has allow that you would rather make in a pacified monster than a human being. you guys hate men and i cannot stand any of you to the young man who has been discriminated against because you weren't born as a cis male were raped by women and wasn't respected by either woman or men when you look for support gritted your teeth and read through all my rambling you're valid. you worried about having your whole life ruined by false rape accusations or in general, you are generally afraid of adding to a woman’s concern when it comes to men. you dont like being around certain woman becuase you feel they are too touchy are they are the one who the moment you dont find them attractive and everyone includes other men invalidate you're right to not want to be touch. you fucking have to control your urge to gut punch every time you here the phrase “ men are trash “ becuase you understand the phrase isnt about you and some smart ass is like “ if its not about you why are you getting mad “. Like we all know why you're mad - but we know you're better than that. I appreciate you questioning your friends on thier used of rape jokes and trying to implied that sexual assault doesn't exist becuase “ if the guy attracted females dont complain “ I think you're wonderful...but i want out becuase my death is just another occurrence. being someone’s property as a child, wife or even friend means nothing now. my death is nothing different than throwing out an aluminum can. i no longer wonder if the person im talking to is capable of rape. i know longer wonder if ill makes it home safely. i know get angry about wanting to do things like move out on my own, be respected by men and not feel that my feelings are constantly being pacified like a battery operated doll who the owner is cooing to work. I expect it. and when it doesn't happen i hold my breath and try to not think about tomorrow where ill pretty much have the bar set that low again. I expected to have my feelings band aid with “ well im sorry someone hurt you “ or “ youre apart of the problem thinking like that”. when something im uncomfortable with happens i dont go out in a rage but belitting my feelings as “ sensitive” or “ stop being a bitch “ roll off me. Humankind is capable of amazing thing and i know change is possible...but i dont expect it anytime soon. ....I really just want out. its 2019 and women are still getting killed becuase of entitlement and the only ing most of you is complain that it happens to men too.....Im tired of pretending this society cares if i was murder right now. you only careif i fit the commodity of the day...I want out for i am so very tired

#suicide mention #sucide trigger #homicide mention #homicide trigger #sexism #toxic masculinity #heteronormative society #cursing

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good-or-bad-luck · 3 years

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its my blog i do what i want have this long ass post about me calling out myself by looking at 3 common things i do with ocs ft me listening to episode 93 of critrole2 and its 1 am

anyway. three types of ocs. Daydreaming Evil. Calm Before the Storm. and Smile Despite Everything. because its my chaarcters i can give them youtube rant names.

Daydreaming Evil- this is the more obvious one to me? but i dont talk about these characters a lot so yeah. Delia. Dolphin. Mallag/Capti to some extent. and a Glitch thats yet to be named but is planned. its pretty obvious with these. all of these characters have magic, some power in them, and instead of like being a superhero or fighting crime they went and said “im going to just. make my own world” and they did. Delia made Delos. Dar Captivus and Mallag worked together to warp the Shivering Isles into their own world. Dolphin used her animus magic to make everything Right and Correct on Pyrrhia. Glitch made a virtual reality world they can control and never left it ever. The problem? all of them, in some way. end up being the bad gyus, being the villain. so caught up in their own world theyve made and being so Stuck in it they turn out, wonky. for Dolphin its the side effects in canon for animus magic. for Glitch its trying to pull people into the world they made so everyone can be Happy and not in the real world. for Mallag and Captivus its well the Realm of Madness. and for Delia its becoming so Stressed with everything thats happening in the real world that she just Breaks and almost never leaves Delos if it wasnt for her friends there to help her. and even then it was because delia let them she had every power to say “no” and stay in the world of her creation forever. theyre characters who hated the world they lived in so much that they made their own but ultimately became corrupt because of it, and hurt the people around them.

Calm Before the Storm- a lot of people ive talked to have noticed this part of my ocs. its Willow and Eddie specifically (and monumentbreaker the flightrising dragon, i only rememberd her after typing this all out so ill tack her onto the end). the only two big ocs that have this. theyre mad. theyre angry. im angry too sometimes. but there is a difference between willow and eddie. Willow is an adult character yeah. she saw her anger she Saw how reckless she could get and she said “i need to fix this” and went adn asked. she found help and its There in the way she talks and looks at people that frustuerate her but its controled like the magic in her blood. it was out of control and sometimes it might get out of control again but willow looked at it and went “ill figure out how to fix this.” and she did. and then theres Eddie. Eddies different. Eddie’s a highschooler like me and they dont know how to fix it. theyve hurt people theyve lashed out theyve broken things and thought bad things about wanting to hurt people and she doesnt feel bad about the thoughts until shes calmed down from that anger. but eddies also scared. she doesnt talk about how she gets mad or looks for help because theyre scared. they dont want people to look at them and think “theyre mad. theyve hurt things when mad. theyll hurt me” because thats what eddies scared to do. shes so worried that one day shes going to lash out and hurt someone bad. theyre too scared to look for help because all anger that theyve seen everywhere in media in memes in movies in video games and in shows and comics the person whos mad like that never wants to get better. they never even get the chance to get better. theyres never the moment when they freeze or breakdown because of how mad they get and how they hurt something like maybe smashing something on the ground. theyre always happy that they hurt something. and thats what eddie is terrified to become. Willow is what Eddie wants to be, able to control that anger and not let it fester, but theres a lot in the way of that. Monumentbreaker (whos human name is Des so lets call her that) is like Eddie, bit where eddie never confronter her anger and kept it bottled up and tried despretly not to hurt anyone, Des let it out, often. she constantly shoved people away with this anger in small bursts to try and say “i dont want you here (im scared ill hurt you)” so whenever she meets Peach, her eventual bestfriend and girlfriend, and they just dont leave. it scares Des. and eventually when Des does finally explode in a fit of anger and does the things eddie does above she Runs, and she doesnt look back at Peach. however Des is right between Eddie and Willow, because Peach doesnt leave like Des thought, they stay and is still Des’ friend (and gf). and thats what helps Des look at the anger and try and adress it.

Smile Despite Everything- classic dani trope :) characters like this inculude Zari, Eve, Merlot, Raye, 13, Valerie, and some others im problaby forgetting. its how i realized the patters in my characters after it i think it was my friend cynda pointing it out with Zari, Eve, and 13. because there are a lot more characters here im just going to cut to the chase. all of these characters has had something Bad happen to them. for zari it was being forced into her arena and starved since she was little, for raye it was experimentation at the hands of people who did not deserve the scientific power they had, for eve it was suicide attempts and horrific boughts of depression, for 13 it was alien abductions and getting litteraly thrown out to the dogs and left for dead. but above all what really makes them all stand out is that, Zari wears a bright smile while finding a flowercrown for her fiancee Willow, 13 talks to other characters on the spaceship with a bright smile, Raye loves to help people and encourage her girlfriends love of science, Eve loves to play sports and talk for hours with stella about math and space. theyve all been through their own hell and came out on the other side. and with all if them they didnt come out smiling but eventually they said “well im still here. and im still going to be happy” and they did that. “despite everything its still you” and thats what they did. Eve, 13, and Raye’s scars will never fully heal Zari is never going to get her feathered wings back Valerie and Merlot will never have magic but thats, okay. theyre here, and theyre happy to be here. they deserve that chance, and they saw it and took it

#abuse mention #tw suicide #tw abuse #ocs #og thoughts #is this oversharing? maybe. i mean i just explained my ocs and what ive written for them so like it doesnt take a genius to stitch it all #together.

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groundramon · 6 years

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Homph I finished tri and I wrote down my thoughts as I was watching because I had too many funny shitposts and nobody to share them with bc charlie hasn’t watched tri yet

PS i wont be reblogging tri spoilers (besides MINOR stuff like, digivolutions of already confirmed digivolution lines or non-spoilery shitposts, but I’ll try to tag shitposts as #tri spoilers anyways [digivolutions specific to tri ill tag as well but not ones that were already basically confirmed]) for a while so ur safe here! I’m just gonna like everything/most things because then I can rb em to hisyaryumon lmao (also u should check out hisyaryumon....its me n charlie’s digimon blog)

EP 1:

- ok. alright. ok. good. they’re dealing with kari’s emotions now instead of just. nothing. ok. alright. cool. Still dont like how obscure/”artsy” they’re being with it, this is digimon not kagerou project, but ok.

- Also. I stand by tk and kari being one of the few good straight ships in digimon. just saying.

- kari: this is my fault... me: god damn it shut up you little brat also me: god relatable ALSO me: ill take whatever display of emotions i can get

- I love how nobody believes tai is dead like. They’re upset and worried but they’re also like “nah. he cant be. that fucking asshole just left us in our time of need” (actually only matt is the last one)

- Gabumon i would die for you also im crying and I think that’s the first time tri managed to make me fucking CRY

EP 2:

- I had thoughts but then the 02 kids happened and I entered another plane of reality. I don’t feel real right now

- the only one I can remember is evil!gennai being a dumbass and being like “SUFFER AND SQUIRM YOU PATHETIC HUMANS AS YOU FIGHT OVER THE LAST SEAT” 1. humans are KNOWN for their ability to care for others you dumb obvious fuck and 2. is. is the entire tube going? because that tube can fit too people if they squish. This isn’t a joke I’m serious it can.

- oh yeah also when i saw whomstever the fuck his name is (adult guy who i love but fuck names) and he was all bloodied i was like “its a cold day in hell when i see blood in digimon” (I think there was blood in an earlier ep but shh idc)

EP 3:

- didn’t nishijima start off as a fucking life coach to these kids. What the fuck he was supposed to help them find a career not emotionally scar them by bloodily dying in front of one of them

- im realizing that the reason hackmon was always in his cloak, in the shadows, standing still is that they cannot animate him in any normal position for the life of him. I drew him with better anatomy when i was 14 and didn’t have a tablet. No seriously, look:

I didn’t say it wasn’t bad, you guys are just underestimating how bad the anatomy on this poor creature is. Why cant ppl draw dracomon or hackmon correctly imma cry

- ordinemon has the best reaction faces

the best part about these two screenshots is that they literally cut one to the other, first the first one to the second one and then it cuts back to the first one. They were really proud of these stupid ass expressions.

- I started overcoming my dissociation shock from the second episode and my hypercritical mind was analyzing the shit out of everything that happened (it is Not happy) but then evil!gennai called kari and evil goddess and idk if he’s exaggerating to make her feel bad or if she’s literally a fucking god of chaos and destruction and either way im like

she did kinda like. Watch wizardmon die, watch tai die, watch gatomon get absorbed. The dark ocean is just a metaphor for depression and honestly if 02 wasn’t all over the fucking place I think Kari would’ve had some pretty decent development in it. Actually you know what, I’m using that as an angle to approach Tri at now, wish me luck bc i might actually give it more leeway now

EP 4:

- I’m not dissociating but I forgot to say anything again and I already forgot what happened

- Cant believe mei is fucking dead

EP 5:

- I like to imagine that Tai got there like a few minutes ago, but he was like “well damn guess yall figured it out without me. alright ill just. see if I need to do anything” and then meicoomon was Still Bad so he waited for when she struck just to make the most badass entrance possible. Fucking extra ass bitch

- I forgot to write anything again but uhhh I wasn’t satisfied so anyways lets just get into the Juicy Details

Originally I was actually planning to be kinder to Tri than I expected. Was very invested during it. ‘Round the end of the last ep I realized hmmm no this isn’t working out. Where are the 02 kids. You should’ve brought them in to save the day. That would’ve been SO cool and SO fun. Fucking cowards.

god I’m kinda tired so I’m going to address a couple things I still had problems with, note that this isn’t everything it’s just everything I felt comfortable yelling about without rewatching past eps. Like I forgot nishijima was all bloodied and presumably died in the last part until they brought it up and I was like “????” ALSO DID THE LADY WHO WAS HIS PARTNER OR W/E KILL HERSELF WITH THE GUN SHE FOUND, I JUST REALIZED LITERALLY AS I WAS TYPING THIS THAT SHE FOUND A GUN AND THEN I THINK IT CUT TO BLACK AND I’M

DID SHE FUCKING KILL HERSELF WHAT THE FUCK

anyways my problems:

1. They did joe. really dirty. I’ll write a more proper rant on this sometime later (mostly bc charlie is MUCH better at talking about joe than I am) but basically I can tell you that his character development in the movies squandered his OG character development. He’s basically an entirely different person. Like Tri joe isn’t bad, besides being largely neglected (yes he has a whole half a movie to himself, no that doesn’t make up for it all), its just...not OG joe. He’s a fine character just not the same character, and its NOT fine when you put the two together.

2. THEY DID THE 02 KIDS EVEN DIRTIER IM SO BITTER sorry you nostalgia-blind, money-hungry fucks at bandai, but the 02 cast is PART OF THE ADVENTURES UNIVERSE. The only people who hate 02 are ones who like the characters but hate the mess of the storyline at the end, or are completely irrational and elitist about their love of the digimon series and would greatly re-evaluate their opinions if they watched the original series and 02 back to back. They couldn’t even show them in some kind of group montage at the end??? Standing in the background when they call Mei??? Why couldn’t they call mei from a home phone also, but that’s a less important problem idc that much. It was a cute scene besides the lack of 02 characters. Whatever. AND THE PROBLEM IS LIKE kari and tk? This entire time??? Were like “oh they disappeared. oops” instead of being frantically searching for their lost friends??? Like i get tk and kari probably have fucking ptsd and can’t express any emotions because they watched important people die in front of their eyes at an incredibly young age but also 1. they didn’t address the ramifications of ptsd, so fuck that theory/excuse and 2. THAT??? WOULD ONLY MAKE THEM LOOK HARDER??? and put on a brave face as they look, but inside they’re so scared and so worried. Not just “oh sweet, they were found/saved, theyre in the hospital but that’s fine” like WHAT theyre fucking assholes if that’s what they’d canonically do lmao. God I am SO bitter over the ENTIRE thing with the 02 kids, it would’ve been BETTER if they were deleted from the fucking canon entirely. Would I have still been bitter? Yes. But at least I wouldn’t be madder at TK and Kari too.

3. I stand 100% by the notion that Digimon is not and will never be cut out to be an adults’ franchise. It wasn’t designed for adults, and it can’t be skewered towards adults. These particular characters were designed for kids to relate to and find entertaining. They do not work when placed into an adult setting. Like, can you imagine a character like Ed from FMA going to the Digimon world? I guess in a way that’s just Marcus but like. Just imagine the FMA cast in Digimon Adventure. It doesn’t work. Digimon Tri is basically that except real. Also Data Squad was darker than Adventure so my joke doesn’t even work.

I guess my primary point is that Tri isn’t mature enough of a setup for an adult audience. It puts a focus on being “complex” and “philosophical” instead of working within Digimon’s constraints and making something good and adult out of that. Like! Digimon is a fucking TOY COMMERCIAL. Don’t give me messages about the futility of human life. I want bad puns and emotional characters. That’s what Digimon has ALWAYS been, and ideally always will be. Tri could’ve made itself more mature by dealing with the ramifications of the Digital World’s events, how it affected the kids psychologically and dealing with healing old scars. It would’ve been a more mature take on a story we loved and would use things we loved about the story already - the fact that it took so much time exploring characters’ emotions and was surprisingly mature for the time - to make itself better. You need to take the aspects that drew adults to the show and amplify them, not just slap on a complex story and unfunny dialogue and be like “oh this is fine, right?”

It’s not that Digimon can’t exist as an adult property, its just that if it repeats what Tri did, it’s got no merit and in my eyes the franchise is dead. If it survives I guess I’ll be happy that people can still enjoy it but I find it unsustainable and unsatisfying to fans of the older series. Tri is just a fuckfest of highly specific nostalgia that tries too hard to appeal to old fans without capturing what made the original series so magical, and in part thats because the original series WASN’T FOR ADULTS. I don’t know about the Digimon Story games, bc they’re T-rated so perhaps they’re a better take on an adult Digimon story than Tri? But you either need to make your own characters and lore specifically for an adult-oriented Digimon season, or perish. Also, please make it a series and not a group of movies. Getting four eps every 6-9 months was hell.

I stand by saying Appmon is a more faithful Digimon season than Tri to Digimon’s original spirit. I believe it holds more potential for success than Tri and better embodies the spirit of the older Digimon seasons. It’s dumb, its corny, it has horrible puns, but I LOVE it because it also has a deep dark story and emotional moments. If you dislike Tri and you agree with things I said that make it unlikeable, I highly recommend giving Appmon a chance - if you watch a few episodes and think “oh yeah, I guess this is decent” you’re going to like it. It’s everything Digimon has always been and hopefully always will be, just with a different concept. And hopefully the end of the series doesn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth and I have to redact this statement haha since I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve heard good things about it so I’m hoping not so.

Overall, if you watch Tri, don’t get your hopes up. It resolves everything okay-ish but it’s a pretty forgettable anime on its own and simply doesn’t work as part of the Digimon franchise.

I am, however, pretty interested in what evil!gennai said at the end about Diaboromon and Daemon. It raises interesting questions about the timeline too. We know Daemon is in the dark ocean, so perhaps that’s a hint at a future project? (They did confirm a future project btw, in conjunction with tri being over) But what about Diaboromon? I dont believe that Our War Game (I think thats what its called?) took place after Tri, based on the outfits and ages and stuff, but I also don’t remember the movies that well. Could Diaboromon still be out there too? It’s interesting.

However, because of the lackluster performance of Tri, I don’t have my hopes up and I really hope that this “next project” goes in a different direction. Although I guess if they include the 02 kids, I’ll be somewhat less salty...

Side note, did they ever explain why the gennais went evil? Like ? That’s a pretty important thing. The gennais helped SAVE the human world in 02. And I get that apparently Tri is ignoring 02′s ending but still. It’s shitty, because Gennai was still a good guy in the original too (and also they cant just keep is younger look and act like 02 never happened) MAYBE its something I missed but I dont think so. God there’s just. So much wrong with Tri. I’m very displeased and very bitter and I wanna get back to Appmon asap.

It’s got good moments, its got bad moments, I dont know, I don’t care. There’s nothing wrong with you if you like it, there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you flip flop and are split like me. I just wish Tri fulfilled its potential instead of becoming a boring mess.

#stormy speaks #digimon

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