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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years

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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 03

(Masterpost)(Previous Episode)

Warning: Spoilers for all 50 episodes!

Wei Wuxian demonstrates the purple nurple technique of the Jiang Clan

Should’ve Used Trivago

The Jiang Clan’s reservation got cancelled while they were on the road, so they are going to wander around this small inn for hours being fussed about it, rather than trying another inn. Yes they say the other inns are all full but…so is this one, now.

The Jin Clan sends an advance party to fancy up the inn for them.

Fuckboi Wei Wuxian

Wei Wuxian decides to use his considerable powers of prettiness to get them a room. He drops some poetry on Mianmian and brazenly flirts with her before shifting to properly introducing himself and asking for a room.

This actually works.

...until her boss shows up.

(Much much more after the cut!)

Worst Person // Best Jin

Jin ZIxuan is an ass and a snob.

I guess we have to give him credit for having a beautiful sidekick and never hitting on her, given that his dad is a rapist and one of his half-brothers is (reputedly) a sex pest and the other half brother is (definitely) an incest perp. But I feel like it doesn’t take much to be the best Jin of his or his father’s generation.

The Jin folks are snobs and talk about how great their fancy and expensive stuff is. It’s an interesting contrast with true connoisseur Nie Huaisang, who loves everything that is fine and beautiful and can quote stacks of poetry off the top of his head, but is not even a little bit of a snob.

This Tea Smells Like Farts

Ok, let’s talk about generation names in the Jin clan. Ru is the name for Jin Ling’s generation, hence his courtesy name Rulan. The name for the current generation is apparently Zi (子), because both Zixuan and his jerk cousin Zixun have that as their name. Sect Leader Jin Guangshan would seem to be using the generation name Guang, but then names his son Jin Guangyao so…the whole system breaks down.

Anyway, my point here is that even considering generation names, if I had a baby and named it Zixuan, and my sister-in-law promptly had a baby and named it Zixun, I would slap her.

Find you a lover who does not make you feel like this

Jin Zixuan is mildly intrigued by his betrothed, and expresses it by being rude to her in front of Wei Wuxian, starting a chain of events that will culminate with Wen Ning’s fist going all the way through Jin Zixuan’s chest.

Side Note: Look at these young Jiang Brothers and their casual shoulder hugs. Sigh.

Wei Wuxian’s Combat PlayBook

When Wei Wuxian wants to throw down, he starts with smack talk, moves along to boundary crossing, then to direct threats, and then brings out a weapon if he hasn’t won already.

Here he starts shit with Jin Zixuan by complaining at him for taking up too much space and having too many sycophants. Then he goes for the unwelcome shoulder touch.

Having been sufficiently provocative to get someone to draw a sword and threaten him with physical violence, he shifts to formal verbal sparring.

This gets the other guy to back down, because even at this age no-one actually wants to tangle with Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian gets to claim the moral advantage, although he still doesn’t get to keep his hotel room.

Actually Not A Fan of My Sister’s Betrothal

Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli have the first of many, many moments of heterosexual ineptitude together. Wei Wuxian quickly rescues them.

Hi, I’m Young Master Cockblock.

Neither of the boys understands what Yanli sees in Zixuan and neither do I, at this juncture. He does improve later after multiple beatings from Wei Wuxian.

This Is The Day Your Life Will Surely Change

Yanli’s encounter in the Inn is the first step toward the inexorable end of the three of them as a unit, although it’s still a long ways off. They are all growing up and she and Wei Wuxian are both going to fall in love at summer camp, like in a 1980s teen movie but without the virginity betting (presumably).

Meanwhile poor Jiang Cheng is going to be swept along just trying to keep up with events, which becomes the story of his life for the next two decades.

Welcome to Transylvania

We meet Wen Ruohan. He is boring and he sucks. Also I’m summarizing the Transylvania parts out of order because they break up the rhythm of the story. And are boring and suck.

We meet Xue Yang. He seems nice.

Wen Ruohan’s living room is like a shitty nightclub where everyone is too drunk to dance except Xue Yang.

Dee Jay: Undead undead undead, Bela Lugosi’s dead

[OP can’t get a video to embed in this post with looping enabled, so the alternate version of this joke has its own post right here. That will teach OP to get fancy.]

Anyhoo

We meet Wen Qing. She is the bestest most wonderful girl in the world but this isn’t actually when we find that out.

Right now we just find out that she is absurdly pretty, that she loves her brother deeply, and that she is helping Wen Ruohan with his “take over the world by murdering cultivators” project. OKAY, PROBLEMATIC, BUT SHE IS THE BESTEST GIRL OKAY?

Gatekeeping

The Jiang Clan don’t get another inn but they do manage to change into immaculate white robes while they’re out on the street, so - nice work, Jiang Clan. Be free!

They get stuck outside the gate because they don’t know that the secret to getting into Cloud Recesses is to set the gate guard on fire.

Walking Thirst Trap Hanguang-Jun

Lan Wangji shows up and everyone except Yanli, who is already in love with Sir Golden Pants, makes thirst faces at him. Including Jiang Cheng tho he will never admit it. One girl in the background is actually biting her knuckle.

Note: Lan Wangji knows exactly how fine he is. Look at his fucking hairstyle.

He is sixteen years old. The only person in the entire cultivation world with fancier hair is Nie Mingjue, and that’s because he indulges his dìdi’s braiding hobby.

Wei Wuxian loudly stage whispers that LWJ is their key to getting in and LWJ is is like, not fucking likely, person I didn’t glance at yet.

But then Wei Wuxian says a smart cultivator thing about the puppet dude, and Lan Wangji turns around and has the first of many long mutual staring sessions with this boy he totally isn’t going to like at all.

Jiang Cheng has a bad feeling about the future: a 2-frame gif

Unrelated gardening note: the red-crack puppet is more commonly grown in Gusu and Dafan, while the black-line puppet is native to Yiling

I Must Arrange a Date with this Uninteresting Boy

The rest of the evening is a series of tests that Lan Wangji puts Wei Wuxian through. Wei Wuxian doesn’t know this and Lan Wangji probably doesn’t exactly know it either.

First he sends WWX back to town to get the invitation. Yes, go get it. Not your entourage; YOU, talky person who thinks he can manipulate me and is smart and looks...intriguing. Go find it and come back.

When Wei Wuxian complains, Lan Wangji silences him, which is literally the most boss move he could have used on smooth talking Wei Wuxian.

You tried, Fuckboi.

Would you like to try some more because I think I would like you to try some more

Jiang Cheng is the Better Baby Brother

Sorry, he just is. Wei Wuxian is all about being taken care of and adoring Yanli without actually doing much for her. Jiang Cheng is the one who thinks about her feelings and giving her what she needs, even to the point of arranging that wedding rehearsal dinner so she can be with her favorite brother again -- the favorite who isn’t him, much as she also loves him.

Date Test 1: Can You Get In.

Once Wei Wuxian is definitely gone, Lan Wangji shows up again and collects the entire retinue, guaranteeing that Wei Wuxian will be stranded outside the gate when he gets back. LWJ doesn’t wait by the gate; he goes and waits up on the roof instead of going to bed or whatever else he’s supposed to be doing. Because he already knows the route Wei Wuxian will be taking.

Wei Wuxian passes the “get in through the wards” test with no problem besides a minor headache and bent fingers.

Is that Xiao Zhan’s hand or did they use a double-jointed hand model?

Date Test 2: Fight Me (Lan Wangji’s Combat Playbook)

As soon as Wei Wuxian shows up on the roof, Lan Wangji picks a fight with him.

LWJ fights all the time; he’s perfectly comfortable when he’s fighting and it’s a good venue for him to express himself. His style is graceful and aggressive.

Attack attack attack strike a pose, vogue, you know it.

He starts by going all in on swordplay, but that doesn’t gain him the advantage; Wei Wuxian fends him off without ever drawing his sword. Which is probably the hottest thing that has ever happened to Lan Wangji in his young life.

Do you like me better when I’m horizontal?

Next Lan Wangji deploys the pettiness by breaking WWX’s wine. Then when Wei Wuxian starts insulting him he upgrades to next level pettiness by dropping another silence spell, this time with the added bonus of preventing WWX from drinking.

Wei Wuxian’s Combat Playbook, Redux

Meanwhile Wei Wuxian is running his own fight routine, starting with a charm attack, which doesn’t work at all.

Are you admiring the moon?

He keeps trying to de-escalate for the first phase of their fight, until they reach a pause and he reflects that Lan Wangji has real skills. As soon as he makes that determination he goes on the offensive - with words.

He very formally says he’s too busy to continue fighting, and turns away, which is a pretty solid roast when you say it to someone who’s been trying really hard to kick your ass. Then he continues defending easily until Lan Wangji uses the wine against him.

At this point the gloves come off, with Lan Wangji lecturing Wei Wuxian, Wei Wuxian making ad hominem attacks, Lan Wangji forcibly shutting him up...

...and then throwing him on the floor in front of Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen.

Sincere Grief for the Death of our Colleague

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen feel really bad for their disciple who has been horribly turned into an undead creature. Ha ha j/k

Date Test 3: Face the Authorities

Lan Wangji gets to pick Wei Wuxian’s punishment. This probably won’t awaken anything in him.

Surprise surprise, Wei Wuxian actually passes the Authority test with flying colors. Lan Qiren doesn’t like him, but listens respectfully to his thoughts about the undead cultivator. And Lan Xichen clearly does like him.

When Wei Wuxian learns that Lan Wangji was nice to his sister, his entire demeanor changes, to such an enormous degree that Lan Wangji starts to run away.

He’s not going to let this boy (who has passed all the tests oh no he passed all the tests) make out with him in front of his family like he is obviously planning.

But once again, Wei Wuxian’s cultivation knowledge captures Lan Wangji’s attention and breaks through his reserve.

This Hardy Boys moment is the beginning of their cultivation partnership.

Lan Wangji is brave but is extremely constrained: by the authorities in his life and by his own rigid reserve. Wei Wuxian is brave and is also free. His companionship gives Lan Wangji an opportunity to engage with a much broader range of the things that interest him than he’s ever had before.

After Wei Wuxian has been sent to bed, Lan Wangji stands outside and -- just as WWX had suggested at the beginning of their date/fight -- admires the moon, with an expression that’s anything but upset.

Sure, sex is cool (probably), but have you ever analyzed a walking corpse with a beautiful boy in the moonlight?

If you’ve got your true honey Life can be pretty funny If you've got money, money to burn Rooty toot toot for the moon It's the biggest star I've ever seen

The Fine-as-Hell Brothers

Alone together, Lans Xichen and Wangji talk over the various things on their minds.

Xichen: What the fuck is up with you? ...Rooftop fights and dropping spells on boys?

Wangji: You and uncle were ignoring me so I was making my own fun

Xichen: Yeah, we are dealing with this zombie situation; shit’s going to hit the fan

Wangji: what are you going to do about it?

Xichen: fuck-all

Wangji: Well, you can rely on me

Xichen: I totally do. So how about you get to know this Wei kid, he seems like a fun ride.

Wangji: *death glare*

Xichen: You know, since Dad died you’ve become even more uptight. I wonder if I’ve been too strict with you?

Wangji: Um, you think? 3000 fucking rules, dude. Fortunately I’m not going to go off the rails and fall in love with my polar opposite and cause havoc in the cultivation world or anything like that.

Xichen: good, me neither

Outtro

Writing prompt: Lan Xichen’s secret nightly letter to his Mom’s memory or spirit (your choice), in which he confides in her about his day. May be written in flute solo form.

(As always if you use this prompt feel free to post a link to your fic in comments!)

Soundtrack: 1. This Is The Day by The The 2. Bela Lugosi’s Dead by Bauhaus 3. Rooty Toot Toot for the Moon, Greg Brown version 4. Madonna, Vogue

Bonus: FineAsHell-Jun

Episode 04 Restless Rewatch coming soon!

465 notes · View notes

eleanorfenyxwrites · 3 years

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Hi y'all!

So I realized today that it's been about three months since I started cross-posting my stuff to ao3 (those of y'all who were here for After Each Midnight while it was still a wip will know that I've been writing for longer than that but anyway). With the latest fic I just posted, I now have 30 works published to ao3 within those three months! Which is wild to me!

Since that averages out to ten fics a month and I like round numbers, I decided to celebrate by listing my 10 favorite fics...of my own lol. Narcissistic? Maybe! But it's fun anyway!

This is a really long post as each rec includes a summary, an excerpt (or a few), and some personal notes/anecdotes about the writing process or what inspired me to write the fic, etc. so I'm putting it all under the break. If this doesn't sound like your cup of tea then of course please just skip over this one, but for anyone who wants to revisit some of my older works with me, or if you're curious about which fics I personally like the most, or if you want to talk about your favorite fics of mine in the replies or anything, then that's cool too! I just wanted to find a way to mark this down because it feels like something of an achievement ^_^

Thank you!

1. After Each Midnight Begins A New Day, (54,401 words, Rated E) Ship(s): 3zun, Wangxian Summary: When Lan Xichen wakes up the morning after the fifth anniversary of his life crumbling to rubble around him in Guanyin Temple, he's shocked to find both Nie Mingjue and Meng Yao in his bed, both whole and alive and...married to him?! (A time travel fix-it in which the time traveling and fixing of things has already been done by Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, and Lan Xichen accidentally gets dragged along for the happily ever after.) Excerpt(s):

1. “Poor da-ge,” [Meng Yao] teases again, this time with a bit of an edge, and Lan Xichen cracks one eye open just enough to see him stripping first out of his shoes and socks, then his third layer of robes, then his second, until he’s dressed much as he had been the prior evening - in nothing but a black under-robe so sheer that it actually almost looks gray. It clings to all the petite, lithe curves of him and the sight makes Lan Xichen’s mouth practically water. “What if I want my turn with you now? What if I’m jealous that er-ge got to have you all to himself for hours , while your poor A-Yao had to go have a drink with Xian-didi just to pass the time.” “Oh gods you’re a beast too,” Nie Mingjue groans as Meng Yao slips on top of him gracefully to lean down and pepper kisses up and down his neck and shoulder. “Get off of me, foul creature. Go tempt our husband, I’m temporarily immune to your wiles.” “You’re never immune to my wiles, da-ge, and er-ge is meditating oh so diligently. He’s certainly not smiling and watching us through his lashes as if we’re not well aware of his tricks and what he likes to watch.” - 2. “It took years of practice, you with your painting and I with my answering, but when you were a teenager I finally decided on the best advice I could think to give you: Do not seek for every answer in this life all at once, Xichen,” he instructs with a smile as he returns to painting. “Let them come to you gently and in their season, and trust that all will be as it should in the end.” Lan Xichen takes another breath and returns to his painting with a slightly trembling hand - a trembling that ends up creating a lovely branch on the tree he is painting that, when he turns his head to look, is modeled almost exactly after the one growing in the garden behind the Gentian House, just beyond the window. “I don’t remember ever seeing this tree,” he whispers and Qingheng-Jun hums across from him in clear understanding. “And yet it flows from your brush all the same. Now we can all know that you have nothing to fear, your memories will also come to you in their season. Until then, allow yourself to rest, and remember that you have the support of your family whenever you need it.” “Yes, father,” he replies with a whisper and a tremulous smile, feeling lighter than he has in days. - 3. “I will go into seclusion.” The statement is a stone dropped into the gently rippling water of a spring-fed pool. The stone is jagged and pitted with all that the world has done to chip away at it, to make it rough and painful to the touch. It is sharp in his hands, heavy with all the hurts he still carries in his chest, all the grief he has no more room to hold. He feels lighter with it out of his grasp, the words settling into the ensuing silence with some bittersweet relief.

Notes: I know I've said it before but it bears repeating: this entire fic exists solely because of the smut scene in chapter 1. I thought of the smut first, and then the lead-in to it, and I intentionally left the end of chapter 1 ambiguous - it could have ended right there as an angsty one-shot with Lan Xichen believing that it was all a hallucination, and there's nothing really in the text to say that it's not because Lan Xichen is a very unreliable narrator in this fic. But then I wanted to write the backstory for the smut if, in fact, it wasn't a hallucination - and everything kind of...butterfly-effected out from there to become what it is now, along with all the extras in the series that's now roughly 120k long altogether and still not finished. Oops. Oh and also: this fic that started the ball rolling only exists because for some reason the servers for Omegle went down for months where I live, and prior to that I used to spend hours rp'ing. Without that creative outlet, I filled the vacuum with writing fic instead and now here we are. So if you're grateful for my fics then thank Omegle for sucking for a few months lol --//-- 2. Loving, Loud, Wild, and Theirs (7386 words, Rated T) Ship(s): Xuanli & Gen (kidfic), 3zun (briefly) - an extra for AEM Summary: A brief look at how in this kinder world, Jin Zixuan managed to find and legitimize his three siblings as well as a snapshot of the chaos of love and fun that is his family with his siblings, his beloved wife, and their seven children. Excerpt:

He had listened to [Madam Qin] and her handmaid, and he had believed them, and he had been unsurprised to find himself thinking quite uncharitably of his father following his promise to Madam Qin that he would do everything in his power to make it right, as much as he could. [Jin Zixuan and Meng Yao] return to Jinlintai the day after the next, once their business is concluded. He’s relieved when nothing needs his immediate attention as it means he’s free to retreat into his and Jiang Yanli’s quarters so he can tell her everything that’s weighing on his mind. “No more surprise siblings from now on,” he sighs into the comfort of Jiang Yanli's chest when he’s finished outlining what has happened and his plans to prepare a new suite of rooms in the family wing of the tower. For Qin Su. His sister. Jiang Yanli just laughs her tinkling laugh and kisses him, her hands gentle as she combs his hair back from his face with her fingertips. “You’ve got more siblings now than any of the rest of us,” she teases with a mischievous smile down at him that is a bit too reminiscent of, weirdly, both Wei Wuxian and Mo Xuanyu for comfort. “Two brothers, a sister, and of course we must keep Mianmian in her spot on the list. If you would like to count brothers-in-law as well you’ve also got A-Xian, A-Cheng, Huaisang, Wangji, Xichen, and Mingjue...” He groans and hides his face properly in the soft silk of her robes even as she laughs again over his head.

Notes: This fic is actually a request fill for someone and I had some trouble ending it because there's a lot more I want to write with this wild family, though I did eventually find what felt like a good place to cut it off with 3zun arriving in Jinlintai for the visit they leave for at the end of AEM. There is something of a follow-up floating around my wips that - if it ever gets written - is a direct sequel to AEM that continues where this extra leaves off, with 3zun getting to spend time with their hoard of niblings in Jinlintai. No promises about if/when that will get written though. --//-- 3. Performance Art (8106 words, Rated M) Ships: 3zun, Wangxian (briefly) Summary: A Modern AU inspired by the 'Hysterical Literature' performance art project. Lan Xichen, Nie Mingjue, and Meng Yao take turns doing their best to read aloud from chosen written works as they're filmed. The twist is that they're trying to do so as they're being pleasured with a vibrator controlled by one of their partners off-camera, each of their turns ending when the partner being filmed/played with has an orgasm. Excerpt(s):

1. “Engage people with what they expect; it is..- it…it is what they are able to discern and.. ngh.. confirms their projections. It settles.. ah settles them into predictable-“ He cuts off suddenly to set the book down flat and slap one hand down sharply on the tabletop. Meng Yao simply clicks another button and Nie Mingjue groans as his newly unoccupied hand twitches back to rest on the edge of the table closer to himself, as if about to drop down beneath it. Lan Xichen and Meng Yao both shift forward in their seats but Nie Mingjue catches himself before they have to intervene, returning his hand to the middle of the table and forcing a deep breath into his lungs so he can continue. “-Predictable patterns of..of response, occupying their minds while you w-wait for the ex- extra-“ he huffs out a sharp breath and curls his hand into a fist as he tilts forward and forces out the rest of the sentence in a rush. “Extraordinary moment — that whichtheycannotanticipate. FUCK!” - 2. It’s a few hours of quiet, peaceful work later when Lan Wangji shifts his weight in the way that means he wants Wei Wuxian’s actual attention and not his ‘ I’m sculpting so I’m periodically looking at you ’ sort of attention which he is, of course, quick to grant. He pauses in his muttering half to himself and half to Lan Wangji to say, “Hm? What’s up Zhanzhan?” “From Xiongzhang,” he says by way of explanation, holding his phone out for Wei Wuxian to squint at the screen. It takes him a moment to understand what he’s looking at, his eyes needing a second to adjust to the small black and white video that’s playing after having spent hours looking between Lan Zhan and the clay form taking shape under his hands. “What is this?” he asks as he leans in closer and squints a little harder. He blinks and his eyes go wide in the next moment as he realizes what’s happening on the screen as the woman’s tension climaxes ( literally ) - and then it’s just a hop, skip, and a jump to figure out just why he’d been asked to create an eerily similar setup in his own studio the previous afternoon for three men he might as well consider his sort-of brothers at this point. His next exhale is a wheeze as his ears go hot and Lan Wangji is instantly shrugging into a robe to stand from his lounging position and approach, concern written all over his features. “Wei Ying?”

Notes: I don't really have too much to say about this one except that it brought me so much joy and laughter to write and it honestly kind of surprises me that it's one of my less popular fics - it's nothing but a fun, sexy time! But I'm also terrible at guessing trends/what people will want to see so that might be on me haha. Oh! Also - a minor thing but something I'm very mildly proud of: the narrator voice is dependent on who's behind the camera! I wanted a way to make the person filming feel just as involved as the other two and I thought that was a fun way to do it since within the narrative it's technically going to be their perspective used for the video they're recording. Just to give y'all a little insight into my decision-making when it comes to my writing style for this one. --//-- 4. Anything For My Nie-Zongzhu (6411 words, Rated E) Ship: NieYao - pre-canon (just barely) Summary: Meng Yao is Nie Mingjue's trusted right hand, intelligent and valued by his Sect Leader, at least, who has learned lately to appreciate him a hell of a lot in private too - and for much more personal matters than the minutiae of running the Nie Sect. Seeing as Nie Mingjue trusts him so much, he finds it in himself to ask for something new - for Meng Yao to top him. [Technically an extra for AEM but can be read as a standalone] Excerpt:

“Am I to play into this boorish act you’re putting on tonight?” he teases instead as he steps closer until he’s near enough to feel the way the steam from the bath has turned the air sticky and humid. Nie Mingjue finally looks up at him and Meng Yao is internally crowing with triumph as he watches the lines of tension around his eyes and mouth fall away, his expression smoothing into quiet contentment. He did that. His presence alone is enough to help Nie Mingjue relax. It feels nearly as good as the day the man had angrily defended him to his own disciples and promoted him on the spot. “It’s not an act, I’m plenty boorish,” Nie Mingjue gruffs, returning his gaze to the letter, but this close Meng Yao can actually watch his eyes do nothing but try to glare a hole through the center of the page. “Of course you are, Zongzhu,” Meng Yao allows, his tone openly humoring - as is the smile tightening the corners of his mouth. “Therefore I can only suppose that you would prefer it if I returned to my walk and left you to continue your...correspondence in peace.”

Notes: Once again not really many notes on this one! I just love NieYao, I think their dynamic during Meng Yao's Nie Sect days has so much potential and I love exploring it every so often. --//--

5. Bite The Hands That Feed (1590 words, Rated E) Ship: XiYao Summary: After being forced out of the Nie Sect, Meng Yao has to come to grips with the hunger that's been chasing him his whole life, and he finds temporary satisfaction over and over in Lan Xichen, who is always so generous with his time and his body and is willing to help him feel less empty even just for a night. Excerpt:

He would never bite the hands that feed him, that stuff him full enough to make him believe for a moment that he’s no longer starving. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t inflict pains. He bites and he scratches and he plants himself in the bloody furrows until flowering moans reward his violent care, until pleasure bursts sun-warmed and sweet between them, berries ripe for the picking. He stains his mouth red with them, his fingers purple with the bruises he paints so delicately on his devotee’s body. If Meng Yao is being clawed to a slow torturous death from within, then it stands to reason that his other half will be ripped to shreds from without. He keeps his nails sharp and his teeth bared to tear into his flesh and drink sweetly of the vintage he offers - sweat, spend, blood, saliva when their mouths meet for crushing kisses. All of it is his to consume. He puts his mouth to the feast of Lan Xichen’s body and eats until the hunger pangs are satiated, drinks until he feels dizzy with it.

Notes: So I wrote this one when I was getting a little tired of the straight narration style of all my other fics and I wanted to try my hand at something looser, a little more prose-like but also a little darker than my usual fluff. I'm not sure how successful I was - this is actually one of my absolute least popular fics, number-wise! - but it's one of my favorites anyway. --//-- 6. A Figure, A Mouth (2788 words, Rated M) Ship: Wenzhou Summary: A quiet, intimate evening spent in the comfort of the Four Seasons Mountain Manor sometime between their arrival/fixing up of the place and the confrontation with Ye Baiyi. Excerpt:

After a while of warming each other up Wen Kexing urges him back up to push the bed under the window just as he’d said he would. Zhou Zishu takes the opportunity to blow out the candles before he rejoins Wen Kexing in their bed, the sudden darkness leaving them free to admire each other clothed in nothing but broad swathes of cool, sweet blue light bisected by deep black lattices of shadow from the trees out in the yard, the shadows from the contours of the wall and decorations around the window blocking and revealing them in turns. Lao Wen is, of course, as beautiful like this as he has been in every way Zhou Zishu has ever seen him, and he takes the time to savor it, to indulge in the decadence that Wen Kexing presents for each of his remaining senses. He’s a feast for the eyes, all hard muscle and skin glistening with glittering diamonds of sweat along his shoulders and the soft curve of his cheek. He’s a symphony for the ears, breathless desire and tender calls of his name that Zhou Zishu never lets go unanswered when they’re like this. By now Wen Kexing is an expert at drawing pleasure from him in every unlikely way there is to make sure that the effects of the nails don’t keep him from reaching his peak at least once, occasionally more in spite of his fading sense of touch.

Notes: Wenzhou makes me so soft and emotional, y'all. The next one on the list is also a Wenzhou fic and I just can't seem to stop writing them in fluffy/smutty situations because it's what they deserve. I really don't have anything more interesting to say about this fic, I just love them haha. --//-- 7. Tease Him Just Enough (2537 words, Rated M) Ship: Wenzhou Summary: A possible outcome if the conversation post-face reveal in episode 6 had gone differently - i.e. if Zhou Zishu had called Wen Kexing out on all his flirting and challenged him to do something about it - and then he does. Excerpt:

They don’t need words to communicate that at least right here in this particular moment there’s no one else they would rather have in their arms, pressed up against their bodies, no one else’s tongue who would find a new home in each other’s mouths or any other body their hands would rather explore. Wen Kexing has already known that they’re fated, but for the first time it feels like they’re agreeing to be so. Even if it’s just for a night. (Not that he thinks it will be just one night for them, but getting Zhou Xu to agree to anything remotely of the kind is like trying to drag a stray back-alley cat into a bath so he’ll take what he can get.)

Notes: My first fic for Word of Honor! The whole time I was watching the show (read: obsessively binge-watching) I was like 'Okay I like this show a lot but it's not nearly as compelling as The Untamed, idk if I'll be motivated to write anything for it'. Then I got to the end and I was like NEVERMIND YES I AM. I played myself. --//-- 8. You Need Tending (12,108 words, Rated T) Ship(s): Lan Wangji & Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji & Lan Xichen, Lan Qiren & The Jades & Wei Wuxian (this is a kidfic so nothing romantic!) Summary: Wei Wuxian is alone and homeless on the streets of Yunmeng, unaware of the presence of his parents' old friend so nearby. Lan Wangji is a child grieving for the loss of his mother in silence, overwhelmed by the world his uncle keeps dragging him out into. It takes their paths crossing more than once for Lan Qiren to realize just who Wei Wuxian is and that he needs their help, but he gets there eventually. Excerpt:

He watches on as the man comes to a stop next to the boys and squats down to check over the one who had been lost and suddenly he remembers lying on the ground and looking up at a stern-faced man with gentle hands and a ribbon across his forehead. The man who had given him medicine and bandages after a small boy had defended him from dogs, and an older boy had talked to him so kindly and helped him to sit up off the dirt. Wei Ying gasps as the memory hits and he scrambles back down off the roof, landing on the packed dirt of the space between the buildings with an oof, excitement bubbling in his chest. Along with the memory comes a name and it flies from his lips as he scrambles up off the ground to push his way into the crowd again. “Master Lan!” he shouts, his tiny voice lost in the din of the market. He tries to shove closer but the little family is already walking away, their backs to him as he strains against the flow of people much bigger and stronger than him. “Master Lan!” he tries again, desperation lending extra strength and emotion to his cry. Wei Ying stops struggling as he watches the two boys in white walk away, the pair of them flanking Master Lan in his sky blue robes as they move through the market, radiating serenity in the midst of the chaos. His vision blurs and he scrubs his forearm against his eyes angrily to dry them, trying to keep the three of them in his sight for as long as he can just in case they turn around and spot him. Just in case they remember him and maybe want to tell him to come with them.

Notes: Baby Wei Ying T-T He just hits me right in the heart, and so does baby Lan Zhan! And baby Lan Xichen. All the babies. This fic was actually completely inspired by an utterly adorable fanart of Lan Xichen giving a grumpy baby A-Zhan a piggyback ride! I'd been wanting to write a kidfic type fix-it for a while and that art was the spark I needed to come up with something workable. (Edit: here’s my reblog of the art I’m talking about!) --//--

9. Familial Circumstances (5393 words, Rated G)

Ship(s): Lan Qiren & Original Characters, Lan Qiren & Jin Zixuan, Lan Qiren & Qin Su, Lan Qiren & Mo Xuanyu - An extra for AEM

Summary: Another kidfic extra for the horde of children in Jinlintai, this time as seen through the lens of their beloved Great Uncle Lan. It's a simple relationship-study-type look at how all the children love their Great Uncle and how much he loves and treasures them in return.

Excerpt:

An unusual stillness accompanies [Jin Ruhai's] playing. Jin Lu stops fidgeting with her fingers, the twins slip into the perfect stillness of those who are utterly aware of themselves at all times - a trait [Lan Qiren has] noticed in every skilled fighter he’s ever come across - and even Jin Ye relaxes, slumping further and further backwards until she’s slouched down against his stomach, legs dangling over his crossed shins.

The piece isn’t a terribly long one, nor as complex as the next score Lan Qiren intends to teach the boy, but Jin Ruhai’s mastery of it is impressive. Again, Lan Qiren is forcefully reminded of Lan Wangji, always most at peace when behind his instrument to play with and/or for the people he loves.

There’s silence in the room until the last note fades with a shiver into the air and Jin Ruhai pulls his hands back from the instrument. The stillness lasts for one more moment before it’s interrupted by Jin Lu sneezing suddenly and her siblings laugh as the quiet breaks.

“I had to hold that in the whole time !!” Jin Lu laughs as she rubs her sleeve under her nose, one eye screwed shut as she giggles. “I didn’t want to mess up A-Zhuang’s song, it’s so pretty!”

Notes: I'm definitely biased because they're all my oc's except for Jin Ling, but I genuinely love all of the Jin children in the AEM AU. If anyone is ever interested in knowing more about their individual personalities and the like please don't hesitate to ask me, I've actually put quite a bit of thought into all 6 of the kids I created wholecloth and I have a lot of feelings about Jin Ling getting the chaotic siblings and loving parents he was robbed of.

--//--

10. Opportunities To Practice (5710 words, Rated M) (*WIP)

Ship: Xuanli - An extra for AEM

Summary: Jin Zixuan is nervous for his..marital activities with Jiang Yanli - after all, who could he possibly ask for advice? His father? No thank you. Thankfully Jiang Yanli is sweet and patient and knows her husband well - he just needs a bit of time and he'll get it figured out.

Excerpt:

She shivers with an interesting combination of want and intense vulnerability as she stands there, feeling bare in spite of her remaining layer. It’s of a material so sheer as to be practically nonexistent, nothing more than a delicate veil of a red so pale it’s nearly pink that sits on her body like a second skin. Until it falls gently away at the knee to flutter around her ankles, it clings to every curve, every contour, and as she watches Jin Zixuan doesn’t even bother to hang the robe he had just removed on the screen. He lets it drop into a soft pool around her bare feet, his gaze roaming her newly exposed figure - she would perhaps feel strange about it did he not look so devoted , so in awe of seeing her practically naked in front of him.

Yanli gasps softly as he suddenly drops to his knees at her feet and oh - that’s heady. Her body, which she hasn’t really thought of too much in the past beyond the occasional irritation that it’s weaker than she would prefer, has put the man she loves on his knees. He’s looking up at her now, his eyes wide and his hands reverent as he raises them to rest on her thighs, thumbs caressing her too-warm skin through the barely-there robe that bunches up softly under the pressure of his grip.

“You’re right,” he finally breathes, sounding slightly strained. “I’d like this to stay on. If that’s - are you alright?”

“I am,” she reassures.

Notes: This last fic is technically a wip, the only one in the list! However! - it's going to be a collection of one-shots centered around Xuanli and their sexual exploits that lead to their seven children, and possibly also the ones that are just for fun (horny Yanli rights forever). It's not currently high on my list of priorities or anything and the one chapter that's up so far can stand on its own so it's a wip but it's not? I just love Xuanli so much and I want to explore their relationship in my happy fix-it AU whenever the mood strikes, and whenever that happens this is where those one-shots will go.

--//--

And that's it! My personal top 10 favorite fics of my own as of right now. I thought about doing my top 10 according to statistics like hit counts or kudos, but I genuinely love some of these unpopular fics and I wanted to give them some love and attention even if it's just for me. I know there's a lot here to sift through but if any of y'all enjoyed the list or any of the specific fics on it let me know! I liked taking this little pause to take a look at what I've actually been producing these last few months.

Thanks for reading!

#the untamed fanfic #gonna tag the main romantic ships listed:#3zun #NieYao #XiYao #Wangxian #Xuanli #Wenzhou #y'all I legit spent hours formatting this and writing all this out #I also went looking for the fanart that inspired You Need Tending so I could link it and my page refreshed #which I suspected it would do so of course I hit Ctrl+A and copied it all -#only to find out that doing that doesn't extend past the readmore break which I had already put in #so I lost the whole introductory bit and had to rewrite it #T-T I didn't even find the fanart I'm gonna look for it again on mobile cuz it's easier #ANYWAY - literally no one asked for this and I don't even know if anyone was curious to begin with but I wanted to make this anyway soooo #It's also lowkey one of my goals to write something one day that becomes popular enough to end up on rec lists #So this is me kind of indulging that in a very 'tooting my own horn' kind of way that I refuse to apologize for #No shame in my game #Also if you see any typos or formatting weirdness No You Don't :) I've been doing this for 5+ hours and I'm hUNGRY

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imjustthemechanic · 3 years

Photo

The Price of a Soul

Part 1/? - Agent Russel Part 2/? - The Letter Part 3/? - Miss Lake Part 4/? - The Stewardess Part 5/? - An Assassination Part 6/? - Fallout Part 7/? - Face to Face Part 8/? - Deals, Details, and Other Devils Part 9/? - Baggage Part 10/? - Private Funding Part 11/? - Just Passing Through Part 12/? - Party of Four Part 13/? - Resolute Part 14/? - The Wreck Part 15/? - Body Snatchers Part 16/? - Out of the Frying Pan Part 17/? - A Miracle Part 18/? - A Matter of Circumstance Part 19/? - Nome Part 20/? - The Future Part 21/? - A Hero’s Welcome Part 22/? - Up to Speed Part 23/? - Expect Further Delays Part 24/? - The Welcome Wagon Part 25/? - Fugitives Part 26/? - A Reluctant Accomplice Part 27/? - Deja Vu

Well, well, well, what’s this? Peggy doing the exact same thing she just got arrested for?

Agent Russel returned to the Automat the next day and sat down at his booth, drumming his fingers on the table and looking around nervously. It was so obvious that Peggy sent Angie over to discreetly ask if he thought he’d been followed. From her vantage point behind the counter, she saw him shake his head. Only then did she and Kay come to join him.

“What did she say?” asked Peggy.

Russel took out the page Kay had given him to give her, and shook his head. “She didn’t even look at it. She was, uh… I told her I had a message for her, and she immediately asked if it were from Peggy.”

Peggy didn’t have to ask – she knew those had been Dottie’s exact words. Russel himself didn’t call her ‘Peggy’, but she knew Dottie did.

“Does she know where I am?” Peggy asked cautiously.

“I don’t know… I don’t think so,” said Russel. “We haven’t told her much. But she said to tell you that if anybody’s making deals it’ll be her setting the terms.”

Peggy hadn’t been expecting that. She glanced at Kay, who also appeared puzzled. “And what are those?”

“She says she’s willing to rescind her testimony and claim it was coerced,” Russel said, “she’ll even say Jack Thompson beat her up if you want her to. But you have to get her out of jail and get her in contact with somebody she will specify. If you try anything funny, she’ll get back in contact with Thompson and Masters.”

Peggy and Kay exchanged another look. Not at all what they’d had in mind… but was it something they could work with?

Kay seemed to think so. “In that case,” she said, “we’re gonna need one more favour from you. Don’t worry, it’s nothing illegal.”

“That’s not reassuring,” Russel said.

“We need you to come up with a reason to unlock the cell door at a specific time,” Kay told him. “Say, eleven PM tomorrow night. We’ll do the rest.”

“I think I can figure something out,” said Russel.

“Great,” Kay nodded.

“Leave a message with Angie if you can’t manage it,” Peggy told him. “We’ll check in before we try to do anything.”

“I will,” he promised.

They left him to eat his lunch in peace, and changed back into street clothes in the employee washroom.

“You sound as if you have a plan,” Peggy said to Kay, as they got back in the car. They’d left the green Ford at the side of the road somewhere in New Jersey and taken a powder blue Chevrolet from behind a petrol station. They couldn’t afford to be linked to a specific vehicle.

“I have part of a plan,” Kay replied, taking a pair of sunglasses out of the glove compartment. These belonged to whoever owned the car, and had therefore been ‘borrowed’ along with it. “There are drains in the floors of the cells. I saw them when I was in there.”

“Yes, there are,” said Peggy. They backed out of the alley and turned onto the street outside. “They’re far too small for a person to fit through, though.”

“That’s fine,” Kay said. “I’m told you have some experience navigating the storm drains of New York. I need you to find a place where we can get down there and find our way to under the cells.”

“I can probably do that,” said Peggy. “Anything else?”

“Yeah. See if you can find us some gas masks,” Kay told her. “Let me know where to drop you off, and then I have to do some shopping. I’ll meet you back at the same spot in… let’s make it two hours.”

In the evening, they returned to the empty farmhouse in the Pine Barrens. Peggy had located a manhole they could climb down without being observed, and used a ball of Kay’s knitting yarn to mark the route from there to underneath the police station. From the drain right underneath it, it was not possible to actually see what was happening in Dottie’s cell – the opening was too small and high above them. Kay assured her this didn’t matter. She’d also obtained gas masks and rubber boots, buying both from a man selling questionably obtained army surplus behind a shop.

Kay, meanwhile, had purchased a number of chemicals, including bleach and acetone, and a variety of cooking and baking utensils. In the farmhouse she put a mask on and did some complicated chemistry, producing a volatile, milky-white liquid that she carefully poured into the now-empty bleach bottle. Even after that was done, she patiently waited five minutes after capping it for any vapor to disperse before she took the mask off.

“What is that?” Peggy asked, removing her own gas mask.

“Can you guess?” Kay wanted to know.

Peggy considered what she’d used to make it. “I assume it’s similar to chloroform.”

“Close. We call it nepenthyl,” Kay replied. “Release it into an area and it’ll knock everybody out for five to eight minutes. I don’t have the equipment to make it really pure, so there’s probably some chloroform in there too. This won’t be enough to actually hurt anybody, though.”

Peggy smiled. “Did you sit up at night in that little room above the Botticelli Gardens, making the peppery stuff you sprayed me with?”

“Yes,” said Kay. “I needed non-lethal options. Who lives and who dies affects the future… I don’t want to kill anybody unless I know they’re going to do evil things. You have to live, and so does Howard, and Sousa, and Wilkes… and Thompson, even if he’s a pig.”

“So you were joking when you suggested killing Masters,” Peggy observed.

“I suspect Vernon Masters has already done evil things,” Kay told her, “but I’ll look into that later. I want to cross the big names off my list first.”

Peggy recalled the list of Project Paperclip scientists she’d recited while in jail. All of them were already most certainly war criminals, still alive only because the government considered them useful… and yet, were they not human beings nonetheless? “It doesn’t bother you at all? That you have to kill people to make your better future?”

“You know where I came from. It took me years to learn how to be bothered by it in the first place.” She shrugged one shoulder. “But in this case, no. I saw the world they helped make. I lost friends, and my friends lost family, because of their direct successors. My conscience can handle it.”

There was no message left for them at the Automat the next day, so Peggy and Kay took their equipment down into the drains below the police station and used an old fire hose to make sure the fumes of nepenthyl would go directly through the grate in Dottie’s cell. Then there was nothing to do but wait.

At a quarter to eleven, they heard footsteps and voices coming from above. Peggy held her breath and strained her ears to hear. One of the voices sounded like Agent Russel… or was she imagining it? She looked at Kay, who pressed a finger to her lips and listened for a moment.

“Agent Russel,” she murmured. “What brings you here at this time of night?” A pause. “The head office wants some full-body photographs of her. We need a record of scars and other distinguishing marks.”

Peggy kept very quiet. Kay’s hearing was obviously much better than hers, but this couldn’t possibly be easy.

“Ma’am, please remove your clothing.” Pause. “Why, Agent Russel. Are you trying to seduce me?” Pause. “Ma’am, I don’t want to have to force you.” Pause. “Really? Because I think you’d enjoy that.”

Dottie knew. Of course she did. She was playing along.

Kay checked her watch, and then set the timer on the valve that would release the nepenthyl. “Let’s go,” she whispered to Peggy.

They climbed up onto the street, and waited for a taxi to pass before pushing the manhole cover open. Peggy got out first, and then reached down to help Kay. They waited silently behind the building while the clock ticked down. At eleven o’clock, Russel would get tired of Dottie’s taunting and open her cell. Thirty seconds later, the chemical would release. Hopefully everybody’s watches were in rough agreement, or this would all go very, very badly.

At three minutes past, Kay said, “now.”

They put on their gas masks and barged into the lobby.

Immediately they heard a scream. The receptionist was still awake, holding a damp handkerchief over her mouth and nose with one hand, and the telephone receiver in the other. For a moment she stared at these masked intruders in wide-eyed horror, and in so doing, she let the handkerchief drop. A moment later she was unconscious on the floor behind her desk.

“Hello?” a tinny voice on the phone asked. “Hello? Iris?”

They had to hurry.

They ran down the steps to the holding cells. The air here, where the majority of the drug was lingering, was still misty, but they could see light up ahead. Peggy stepped over the unconscious bodies of policemen until she spotted Agent Russel’s blue blazer. He was lying there still gripping Dottie’s wrist with one hand. She had fallen on top of him.

Kay pulled out a roll of olive-coloured duck cloth tape and used it to bind Dottie’s hands and ankles, then wrapped more of it around her mouth. Then she lifted the unconscious woman’s legs while Peggy took her shoulders, and they dragged her back upstairs.

In the lobby the receptionist was still unconscious. The telephone was still off the hook.

They threw Dottie in the trunk of today’s car – a burgundy Oldsmobile – pulled their masks off, and drove away.

Only then, with everything done, did Peggy allow herself to notice that her heart was beating fit to burst from her chest, or that she was gasping for deep, non-filtered breaths of air. They’d really just done it – they’d broken Dottie Underwood out of jail for a second time. If this didn’t work out… if Dottie were recaptured and decided to turn Peggy in again, there’d be no getting out of it. Once was special circumstances. Twice was a pattern.

Once they were well away from the police station, they pulled into an alleyway. When they opened the trunk, Dottie was waking up, but still groggy – Peggy pressed a rag soaked in the nepenthyl against her face to knock her out again. Then they used the rest of the role of cloth tape to wrap their prisoner up like an Egyptian mummy. There was absolutely no way Peggy was losing control of her again.

After that, they could take a more leisurely drive back out to their campsite in the abandoned farmhouse. Nobody seemed to notice them as they passed through small towns on the way, and not enough people went through the Pine Barrens area to notice that three different cars had been parked there in as many days. Upon arrival, they left Dottie in the trunk and went inside to get what sleep hey could.

“I think we’ll let her talk first,” said Kay, yawning. “Then we’ll emphasize that we are now in charge, and give her our terms.”

Peggy wasn’t even sure what those were anymore. “As long as we can have breakfast first,” she said.

In the morning they took their time, at least partially out of spite – Dottie had caused Peggy so many problems over the past couple of years, it served her bloody well right if she had to sit there tied up in a car boot for a few extra hours. This also afforded them the chance to listen to the radio and get some more news. The escape of a dangerous criminal did merit a mention, with a description of Dottie followed by an admonition not to underestimate her.

“And now for the news you’ve all been waiting to hear,” the announcer said. “Captain America is in Washington, DC, for one more day, during which time he will visit the Smithsonian and dine at the White House with President and Mrs. Truman. After that, he’s off to Annapolis, then Harrisburg, and will complete a tour of New England before heading south again.”

What was Steve thinking while all this went on, Peggy wondered. Was he thinking of her? Of his friend in Russia?

What about Daniel? Peggy had no way of contacting either of them… and might never again. Wouldn’t that be the easy solution, she thought. If she never saw either man again, she wouldn’t have to worry about breaking anyone’s heart.

#fanfic #captain america #agent carter #peggy carter #steve rogers #steggy #fix it fic

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wolfpawn · 4 years

Text

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 163

Chapter Summary -After the long and tedious road to her Ironman, Danielle begins to get back to normal, including acknowledging that she has neglected Tom in certain manners for the past few months.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long. This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @wolfsmom1 @black-ninja-blade

Danielle and Tom left Tenby the next day at lunchtime, giving Danielle a chance to actually get some rest and recover from her sporting endeavours, Tom holding her to him and repeating, time and again, how proud he was of her for reaching a goal.

On their way back to London, they collected the dogs and brought everything to the house. Tom drove to give Danielle the rest she needed after the triathlon. When they got out of the car, he noticed her moving her shoulder and hissing. “It’s worse.”

“It’s utterly fucked now.” She confessed. “It will need weeks of rest and physio, I’d say. I don’t think I can even drive safely.”

Though grateful she was being honest, Tom felt annoyed that she had allowed it to get worse when she promised not to overdo it but hearing her acknowledge that she would tend to it properly now silenced his argument on that front. “If you need a lift there, let me know.”

“I will.” She gave a small smile and did what she could to bring in some of her belongings inside, but Tom refused to let her and shooed her in citing the dogs needing to be settled as the excuse.

The next few days continued with a pattern, Danielle going to physio for her arm, her working on paperwork for Safeguard and her own personal work projects and catching up on sleep.

It was a week after her return from Tenby, after she had another physio session on her arm and she was collecting some food from Sainsbury’s on her way back to the house because Tom was dealing with something work related when she paused and thought of an idea. Smiling to herself, she made a small plan.

Tom was exhausted. He had been dealing with some work that Marvel had asked of him for an upcoming piece of work they were considering for him, and more importantly, Loki. He was bound by contract to say nothing yet knew that should he and Danielle come to discuss it, she would not say anything. If she could hide the ending of Game of Thrones from even him, he knew he could depend on her to say nothing regarding his work. When he pulled into the driveway, all he could think about was sitting on the couch and resting for a while, or perhaps making it to the bedroom to do so if he managed to scrape the energy from somewhere to do that.

When he opened the front door, fear filled him.

The smell of good home cooking filled his nostrils, the scents of lemon, spice and garlic telling him that Danielle was cooking some form of a roast. When he entered the kitchen, he noted the oven had a tinfoil covered meat in it, with roast potatoes on a tray below it and the stove harbouring further foods. Looking around, Tom wondered where Danielle had gone before calculating dates in his head. Their second anniversary was just a fortnight away but they had agreed that they would go out to dinner that night, so he could not fathom what had prompted this evening’s feast.

“Tom?” He jumped slightly as he heard a voice from the back kitchen area. “Are you home?”

“Yes.”

“Oh good.” Danielle came back into the room and took something in a small pot out of the fridge before placing it on the stove, swapping it with some form of vegetable. “How was your day?”

“Good?” Tom looked at her. She was wearing a dress, for no apparent reason, in the house. She never did that. It was figure-hugging, slightly dipping at her cleavage and she was wearing makeup. His fear intensified. She was clearly on a different level to him regarding the significance of the evening and it scared him to wonder what he had forgotten.

“Tom?” He looked at her face again to see a notable look of concern on it. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I...What am I missing?” Rather than trying to pretend he knew what was going on and be found out later in the evening, Tom favoured being honest.

“Missing?”

“What event or occasion is this. Our anniversary is in two weeks so I cannot figure it out?”

Danielle laughed. “Do I need a reason to want to cook a nice dinner? I haven’t been allowed half of my favourite food in weeks and I know you are busy and tired so I thought it would be nice to make us something.”

“But...your clothes?”

“I saw this a few weeks ago and with the body alterations from my new training, I thought it would be nice. Was I wrong?” She looked at him worriedly. She rarely liked dresses and she seldom wore them, but this dress had made her feel as though her figure looked good and was excited to get it, but seeing Tom looked at it with uncertainty made her anxious that she had made a mistake.

“No, it’s gorgeous, I just...Why tonight?”

“Why not tonight?” She challenged. “If I am looking for events to wear certain clothes to, I may be waiting a while.”

Tom subconsciously nodded to her words. “I’m sorry, you’re right. You have every right to wear anything you want and you look incredible so I don’t know why I am causing you to feel as though you don’t. I’m sorry, I am ruining your nice evening. Please, forgive me.” He pulled her to him, noting the lovely smell of strawberries and coconut in her hair as he did. “You look incredible and the food smells sublime.”

“Part of me wanted to get a takeaway and stuff my face in the corner but I was thinking this is probably healthier and if I continue to eat okay will mean I will not have to be greased into a wedding dress when the time comes.”

Tom gave a disapproving growl at her ridiculing words. “To the best of my knowledge, you have never had to be greased into anything and I have seen pictures of you when you accuse yourself of being at what you deem your ‘biggest’ and it’s laughable. Also, if you did add a few pounds or even a few stone, I wouldn’t care because as long as you are healthy, I just care about you being happy.” He put his arms around her as he spoke before looking down, his pupils dilating at the sight his taller height bestowed him. “Though, I will never complain as to you wearing this dress.”

Danielle laughed as she noted his line of sight. “I can’t really say anything, you have long declared yourself a lover of breasts.”

“And yours are exquisite.” Her reaction was to lean up and kiss him, causing him to groan. “Dinner…” He reminded her.

“Another ten minutes.” Danielle pulled back as she spoke. “So get a shower to help you relax and when you come down, dinner will be served.”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but with how wrecked I am, I will gladly accept it.” Tom kissed her again and went upstairs as Danielle let the dogs back in from a stint in the garden before readying the last of everything that was required for their dinner.

The meal was a pleasant affair, lighthearted and relaxed. Tom informed Danielle of some more Loki related work that Disney was considering. It was not finalised, but from what he gathered, both the Trickster and another character, of whom he was not made aware of, were getting their own mini-series if certain plans came to fruition.

“So that would be your beard gone?” Danielle asked.

“I would imagine so, yes.”

“Pity.”

“Good thing it can grow back,” Tom smirked, seeing the small smile she was trying to hide on her face. “Dare I ask, come the wedding, will you want me to have it?”

“I will want you to be comfortable and happy and so long as that does not include some naff Seventies mustard and brown suit and a “pervy uncle” moustache, I am not bothered how you look.”

Tom erupted in laughter at the image Danielle gave him with her words before looking at her and seeing the playful look on her face. “I missed this.”

“Missed what?”

“Your ridiculous playfulness. You were so tired from training and juggling us, work, the dogs, training and even helping Emma, you didn’t talk as much.”

“I sacrificed a lot for that achievement but I also forced you to sacrifice for it. Thank you for being so patient and staying by my side.” Danielle looked at him with sincerity, understanding more and more since she stopped her ridiculous training load, just how much she had sacrificed for that goal. She had known she would have to adjust her life for it, and many of the things she would have to cease or put to the side made sense. Late evening dinners out with friends, a social drink, her favourite unhealthy foods but everything really came to the fore when she looked at it now and one of the greatest things to be sacrificed was her time with Tom. She was a zombie from exhaustion more than once. She recalled him urging her to bed more often than her going at the same time as him fully awake. She did not always eat meals with him and she had all but become celebate in that time and to his due, Tom never once complained at her enforcing such a fate on him too. Danielle realised that the sacrifices she made were hers and for her goal but Tom did sacrifice things also, for her. She knew he would love to spend time with his friends comfortably in New York after the fashion show but he had chosen to rush back to her. She knew he also wanted them to go out for dinner like a normal couple more than once in that timeframe also, yet he never bothered her about it, because he wanted her to have the nutrients she needed. The early morning training sessions, the early morning starts for the practise races, everything, he did willingly, for her. Looking at his cerulean blues eyes, now almost permanently framed by his glasses, she saw the love she had for him returned to her with as great an intensity. “Thank you.”

The rest of the meal went well, both continuing to talk between healthy and comfortable silences. When at the end of it all, Tom began to try and stifle yawns, Danielle urged him to bed. “Only if you join me.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” She joked as she walked up the stairs ahead of him, the dogs having been dealt with for the evening. Danielle brushed her teeth and whatnot first before swapping out and allowing Tom to do what he required in the bathroom. While he was doing so, she took off her dress and began searching for her tattered old clothes she tended to wear in bed, since she had not planned to wear them but with Tom’s tiredness, she knew there would be no amourous fun for the evening.

“What…?” She turned to see Tom looked at her from across the room.

“What, Love?”

“You’re wearing the black underwear.”

“Yes?”

“Did you want to…?”

“What?” In all honesty, the lack of full sentences by Tom was confusing Danielle at this stage.

“You dressed sexily, cooked a nice dinner and wore these,” Tom explained as he walked towards her. “You planned on us having a romantic evening.”

“I did, and we did have a romantic evening, I thought.”

“But…” He looked at her breasts, which he noticed had decreased in size as a result of her tedious working out and diet, not by much, but they did not fill the cup as they had before. “You look incredible.”

“You took your glasses off.” She joked. Tom growled slightly and pulled her to him. “You’re tired, Love, we don’t have to do anything.”

“I want to.”

“You’re exhausted.”

“You’re sexy.” He silenced her next retort by kissing her gently nipping her lip as he urged her over to the bed, causing her to smile and do the same back to him, only tugging slightly as she did, knowing how much he adored that, pushing him so he was the one to fall on the bed in his t-shirt and boxers, which he had stripped to while she had been in the bathroom and straddled his hips. The shift in power, to her being on top made Tom moan as a small wave of excited pleasure surged through him, loving that she was taking control of the situation, her breasts in his hands, her crotch rubbing against his for friction, both loving the feeling. “God, I’ve missed you.”

“I’m sorry, never again.” She pulled at his t-shirt and let her hands slid over his chest, enjoying the feel of the slight bit of hair he had on his pecs.

Tom found himself conflicted. Partly because he wanted to control the situation, partly because he was loving how Danielle was controlling it.

When he tried to place his hands on her hips to turn them around for him to be on top, Danielle grinned and shook her head. “Not tonight.” She leant down and kissed him again. “Tonight, I am in charge.” She shirked down his body, toying with his nipples as she gently kissed and playfully nipped at the skin of his abdomen, loving the small line of hair that trailed from his navel down to his pubic region before sliding down his boxers and gently kissing the head of his hardened length, then finally, placing as much of him in her mouth as she could, using her saliva and enthusiastic tongue to moisten him. Inhaling deeply, she held her breath and took as much of him into her mouth as possible, gagging slightly as she reached the back of her throat, but forced her body to relax slightly before edging him in a little more.

“Elle.” Tom forced himself not to buck into her mouth, knowing she was already pushing herself to fit as much of him in as she could. “Fuck, so good.”

Slurping slightly and ensuring he was wet from her ministrations, she prowled over him again, giving Tom a chance to seize her face with his hand and encourage her forward to kiss him passionately. Whilst they kissed, Danielle slid Tom to her damp body and sank down onto him, throwing her head back and gasping as she felt him fill her, realising just how long it had been since they were intimate by how tight she felt.

For his part, Tom could not help the whine he made, Danielle’s body gripping tightly around him as he relished their having sex again after what felt like an eternity. At first, Danielle’s movements were slow and languid, but as she moved, Tom began to reach her most pleasurable point within her body as he slipped his fingers to just above where they were joined causing Danielle to gasp again as she moved with more purpose. Tom urged her to lean up slightly, meaning that she was not able to sit fully onto him, but rather than that causing them less pleasure, Tom urged Danielle’s hand to her clit before he gripped her hips and began to move her down as he leant up, their movements becoming sloppier as they both became more and more engrossed in the pleasure they were experiencing. Amongst it all, the crude noise of their bodies meeting became louder and all the more notable.

All too soon for Tom’s liking, he felt his gut tighten before he forced Danielle down until he was fully sheathed within her, groaning as his pleasure reached its peak. Above him, Danielle’s movements became less aggressive, knowing he would be sensitive from his release as she chased hers. With Tom’s fingers joining hers, Danielle felt herself get closer to her own orgasm.

“Come on, my beautiful Elle, I can feel how close you are,” Tom encouraged.

“Tom.” It was a plea as well as a whine, her body teetering on the edge of an orgasm. “I can’t…oh fuck!”

At the idea that she could not complete so close to her peak, Tom concentrated his thrusts back at the point in her he knew caused the most pleasure. It took all of a few seconds before Danielle’s body clamped around his and she gasped her release, her fingers, along with Toms, still rubbing and teasing her external nerves as Tom ensured to hit her internal ones in near a constant manner before gently urging her forward.

Before he could even attempt anything, Danielle placed her lips to his and moaned into the kiss. “I love you.”

“I happen to love you too, Miss Hughes.” He smiled with satisfaction.

Danielle could not help the snort of laughter she gave in return, loving the almost dopey grin he was giving as a result of his tiredness and orgasm. “I didn’t think you’d have the energy tonight.” She toyed with his hair as she spoke, loving how long it had become.

“After so long without you, I would have done an Ironman myself at the promise of getting to enjoy you once more.”

Danielle’ssmile fell slightly. “I’m sorry, I am so sorry that I caused you to have to endure the negative sides of that race with me. I thought, more than once that I was giving the air of disinterest. I wanted nothing more than to do this with you, but I was so tired so often.”

“I know. Don’t fret, Elle, I understand. It’s done now and we are on the road to more new and fun things in the future, which hopefully will not include being in your company for so long without sex.”

“It’s harder when we are both here and we don’t do it, I find you being away, or my being away, my brain just thinks, ‘Well, there’s no point in being horny, he’s not here’.”

Tom laughed at the silly voice she gave as her brain’s. “You are the most amazing woman,” he declared lovingly.

“I know, that’s why you want to marry me.” She gently allowed him to slip from her and curled up beside him. “And the reason I said yes was because I know a good man when I have one, and I am not letting you go.”

“I wasn’t going anywhere anyway.” Tom sighed as he felt his tiredness come to the fore once more, his body satisfied at finally having been fully sated once more.

#I Hate You I Love You #Chapter 163 #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fic #wolfpawn

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lightanddarklove · 4 years

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Connverse Week Drabbles - Day 1: Exploration

Explore Your Options

Rated: Gen | Words:1631 | No Archive Warnings Apply

I don't know if I'm be able to do all the days of Converse Week but I was thinking about giving this a try. I have ideas for at least 2 more days, but since this one is on the longer side, if I cop out before day 7 I'll say this counted for Future as well as Exploration.

I’m more than halfway done with prompt 2. Here’s hoping I can just edit the link in when I’m done.

Quick note: These are the state names Connie’s talking about (because everyone should get Keystone and Jersey):

Buckeye - Ohio

Empire State - New York

Lone Star - Texas

Steven and Connie are trying to figure out where they're going to be spending the next few years. New exciting things seem on the horizon for Connie, but Steven needs a bit of encouragement after Little Graduation. Mostly platonic with a side of romantic pining. Steven Centric.

Jam bud conversations on the phone were nice, but Steven missed seeing Connie in person. This as one of those weeks where a call was the only way she could fit him into her busy schedule. He draped himself over the bed, lying on his back, trying to relax as she told him about her plans and projects.

“Have you given it much thought where you want to go to school?” Steven asked, trying to sound encouraging and avoid sounding clingy.

“Well, there’s lots of options, but I haven’t nailed down anything exactly,” she replied. “I really think I want to work at Nasa, or do science communication elsewhere in the engineering field. But I’m worried that I’ll get to a big expensive school somewhere and after taking a few classes I’ll want to change my major and should have gone somewhere else.” Steven hummed in thought. “Right now I’m thinking about an Engineering major and either minoring in Video Journalism, or double majoring and then maybe Political Science as a minor?”

“Well,” he responded, “I know that your parents will support you no matter what you want to do or where you go.”

“I’m not super worried about that,” she said. “It’s more about wasting time or money. I know that they have enough in my college fund for in-state schools, public or private. But if I broaden my search to out of state, I’ll need to secure good scholarships to leave school debt free, which they’ve stressed will really help me in my early adulthood. And in turn, if I need to get scholarships, I should really know what I’m going to school for, because some scholarships are dependent on majors.”

“What about a sport scholarship for tennis or fencing?”

“I haven’t dedicated the time into those to get the majority of my funding from that.”

“I don’t think you need to get most of it from the scholarship, you’ve got the college fund. Plus you’ve trained so hard for swordsmanship. And didn’t you go into a state competition for fencing this year?”

“I wasn’t in the top of them,” she replied dourly. “I placed 6th.”

“For a completion that was state wide, including seniors?” He responded with enthusiasm. “I think that’s got to count for something. If you place in the top 3 next year, you could probably go anywhere you want with at least half of your schooling payed for.”

“I wish fencing was a more recognized sport. But anyway, I have some in-state schools I was looking at, and only a few out of state. A couple in Keystone, one in Buckeye, and Jersey. The furthest ones are in the Empire City area. Well, except for the one in Lone Star that’s supposed to be one of the biggest pools that Nasa pulls from. But that one’s pretty hard to get into.”

“You’re smart enough, I think if you keep trying as hard as you have been, you can get there,” he said trying to keep his voice light. He paused for a moment. “I will miss you though, if you move so far away.”

“Well Lone Star does have a warp pad,” she replied. “I found out it’s a bike-able distance from the school. Forty minutes doesn’t sound that bad. Plus there’s Lion and planes and stuff. It won’t be too hard to see each other if we try.”

“Yeah,” he said, trying to keep the sadness from creeping into his voice. “But if you double major, would you have the time to see me, anyway?”

“You’re my best friend, Steven. I’ll make the time,” she responded confidently. He smiled wistfully, knowing she couldn’t see, but it encouraged him all the same. “There’s probably going to be heavy weeks where I can’t, but I feel like if I get into the Lone Star Aerospace University, I won’t need to impress as much by double majoring. So we can probably see each other most weekends. If you aren’t too busy, anyway. What do you think you’ll be doing next year? That would set you up for what you’re doing while I’m in school.”

“Now that Little Homeschool is done being set-up, and I’m not heading it anymore, I’m not sure.” He paused again. “I’ve been doing the gardening thing, but it’s just something to fill my time. I don’t think I’m becoming a botanist anytime soon.” Connie chuckled.

“Do you think you’ll want to teach again?”

“Even if I could become a teacher, what would I teach?”

“Why couldn’t you?” She sounded firm in her conviction. “I think if you wanted to, you could get your GED, and start school when I do. You’re organized and creative, plus you really seemed to enjoy helping the gems learn. I think you could do the same for music, or cooking, or anything creative, really.”

“I wasn’t as good as I wanted to be,” he replied solemnly. “I’ve had a hard time letting go, and I was so busy I let a lot of things get pushed to the wayside that I should have been better with.”

“Learning about being a teacher from professionals would help you get those kind of skills,” she rebutted.

“I don’t think I have what it takes,” he said sadly. “My dad never finished Community College, I don’t think I could get a four year degree, let alone a teaching degree.”

“That’s bull and you know it,” she replied. “You’re smart and very hardworking. That’s all it takes.”

“You think so?” he asked, hope inching back into his voice.

“I think you’d do well as a music teacher. You could also do design, you learned Illustrator in like 2 months to design those pamphlets for Little Homeschool. You’re a good cook, and you also have make-up skills, if you wanted something that doesn’t take as long to learn, those are good options.”

“Dad helped with the pamphlets,” he replied. “Also, I haven’t done much in terms of music in about 3 years, I’m probably pretty rusty.”

“You learned how many instruments before you were 14?”

“Uke, guitar, bass, drums, piano and vocals. So 6.” He counted on his fingers.

“Plus a few percussion instruments,” she responded.

“The cymbals and triangle barely count.” He rebutted, slightly disdainful. “And I learned harmonica while in space since it was easy to keep in my pockets for when I had too much downtime.”

“That’s something musical you did in the past 3 years. Plus, you have perfect pitch, you’ve taught Peridot about music when you guys were working on the drill, so you have some experience there. Why not share your talents with young musicians?”

“I haven’t been writing songs lately, not since Spinel-“

“So? Learning new instruments could be what brings that spark to make something new. You don’t have to focus on Music Theory, unless you find that’s where your driving energy is pushing you.”

“Other than figuring out what GED requirements are to see if it’s feasible for me to finish in year or two, where would I even start? If I want to teach music, don’t I have to learn like, all the instruments?”

“Start with orchestra instruments, there’s only 4 of them, so it’s more manageable. You already have experience with other stringed instruments. And since you know what the notes on electric bass are, a stand-up base wouldn’t be too different. They’re also the same strings on a violin. The main thing is learning how to grip the bow so you get a clear sound.” Connie paused. “Don’t you think you’d look good playing bass?”

His voice lowered to a mutter as he spoke, “aren’t I too short for that?”

“You aren’t shorter than the senior girl in my school who plays a full-size bass,” she teased. She paused thoughtfully and her tone changed, seeking to uplift Steven. “You don’t need to keep putting yourself down where you feel like you haven’t measured up, especially when it comes to music. You’ve done a lot of great things, and you can still find ways to improve, if you’re willing to learn.”

“Sorry,” he replied. “I just haven’t figured out where I’m going from here. You’ve got a plan, and I’ve…” He trailed off, considering his words carefully. “I’ve been looking for a fresh start, but haven’t found one yet.”

“Steven, comparing yourself to others isn’t helpful, especially since nobody has done the things you’ve done. You have so much to be proud of, you know that? It’s amazing what you’ve accomplished in just a few years.”

“You’ve done amazing things too, Connie,” he said pensively. There was a moment neither of them spoke, and he blushed, taking in all she had said.

“I, your knight, haven’t toppled an empire through Charisma and conviction,” she rebutted.

“Uh, well-“

“Just think about the music teaching, or culinary school, or beauty college, ok? You should have things to look forward to. You deserve that, I promise.”

“Thanks, Connie,” he replied admiringly, trying not to be overwhelmed with her praise. He heard her chair scoot back and she moved to stand.

“I gotta go, Steven. Mom just called for dinner and then I have to finish my paper for History tonight. I’ll text you when I take a break, ok?”

“Ok, talk to you later.”

“Bye!” she said, hanging up. He waited a moment as the call ended, phone still in hand.

“I love you,” he said, knowing the call was over. He hadn’t been able to say it with words to her, not since he had said it when leaving her behind to head for his trial on Homeworld. He hoped that the presents and gestures he had made for her spoke what he couldn’t say aloud. Someday, he could tell her, but not yet.

#Connverse Week #Fanfiction #JambudWeek #Connverse #Steven Universe: Future #SU Fanfic #Steven Universe #Connie Maheswaran #my precious gem child #Non-Betad #Little Graduation #Mostly Platonic #Pining #Steven POV #my writing

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secretreylostan · 5 years

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Episode X: Divide & Conquer (read from the beginning)

Am I allowed to be proud of a chapter? If so, then I am proud of this one. It may only be perfect in my brain, but that’s okay. It’s still perfect in my brain. At least it’s perfect somewhere. Best part, I think it can stand alone, so... I’m posting the whole thing, because I want everyone to read it. I’m putting it up on my virtual refrigerator, because I want to show it to the world. And tagging some writers I like, cause what the hell. @leofgyth @plantsandlamps @thebitchesofdathomir

Ben’s anxiety on the way to Yavin 4 was overwhelmingly high.

Rey contacted Finn en route and explained what had happened via hologram, while Ben piloted ship. It was important for him to have some semblance of control, even if it was only of the Falcon. “Wow.” Finn said after hearing the story. “Rey, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you must be feeling right now,” Finn said, his face filled with concern. “Do you have any ideas at all of who took them?” “We have one idea. It’s… far fetched. But it’s all we’ve got for now. We’re going to do research on abducted Force sensitives in the Archives on Atzerri, but there’s so much to look through. Finn, I need your help.” “Of course, whatever you need. How are you holding up?” Rey sighed and looked at her old friend. Other than Ben, Finn was the only person who Rey felt understood her, even if he struggled to understand her relationship. He asked her this because he genuinely cared about her, and that gave her strength. “Honestly Finn… without them, I’m feeling more and more… hollow. Just, numb. I don’t even think I can cry anymore, I’m just… I don’t know. I’m trying to stay focused. It’s all I can do.” “I get it. I can’t imagine if someone took the girls away.” Finn and Rose now had three daughters, including a pair of twins. They were all beautiful. Rey smiled as she thought of them. Their oldest, who was two years younger than Sky, would follow him around adoringly whenever the families were together, while Hannah and the twins, who were almost the same age, always got into mischief.

Rey’s world darkened as she thought of them. Her eyes welled yet again and her lips shook. She covered her face with her hands. “Oh Rey, I’m so sorry-” “No, it’s fine, I just... I guess I do have more tears after all.” Rey laughed a little bit, to try and jar herself out of her crying jag. She wiped at her eyes and shook her head. “Just get here. We’ll do everything possible, we’ll comb every inch of this galaxy until we find them, okay?” Rey smiled and nodded. “We’ll be there soon.” “I’ll tell Poe.” “Thank you, Finn.” Both Poe and Finn were waiting for them when they landed. Poe had moved the base of many of his professional obligations to Yavin 4 after the end of the war. His current pet project was starting a flight school to train the next generation of Alliance pilots.

As one of the heads of the Alliance Armed Forces, Dameron was always surrounded by some sort of entourage and today was no exception. There were several officers and fully armed service members standing with them on the landing field, blasters drawn, but not aimed. This was the first time the couple had been to Yavin 4. It was also the first time Ben had been around these men without the buffer of his children. Things had gotten, if not better, at least easier in the six years since that first party for Sky. But the relationship between the men was certainly not comfortable.

Finn had seen too much as a member of the First Order to truly embrace Ben Solo, but he did what he could, for Rey. Poe Dameron had punched Ben every time he saw him, just as he promised he would. He’d actually gotten pretty good at surprising him. Dameron must have trained himself to be spontaneous about it, because Ben often didn’t see it coming.

But this time, Ben was ready. He couldn’t wait for Captain Flyboy to clock him. Not only would it feel amazing, but then he could also justifiably beat him to within an inch of his life. He was practically salivating with anticipation. Ben sauntered up to Poe and the two of them stared each other down. Ben smirked. “What, no kiss?” Ben said snidely. “Oh, my fist would love to kiss you, Solo, right on the mouth, but quite frankly you look like hell and I think you’d like it too much.” Poe stepped a little closer and searched his eyes.

“Welcome to my home. Try not to break anything.” Poe moved beyond him to Rey. “Come ‘ere kid, how you holding up?” he said, as he put his arm around her.

Ben got an ugly look on his face and stormed off, growling at the entourage to get out of his way. That piece of banthashit was good for nothing. The service members eyes followed him as he stomped into the base. Rey felt a slight pain in her belly. The couple was staying with Finn and Rose in their modest home. Rey thought it would feel comforting to be with her friends and their family, but it was actually very hard. Being around Finn’s girls was a terrible reminder that the couple was not with their own children.

It was difficult to concentrate, and towards the end of the night, Ben had to get out of the house. He was suffocating. He started a fire outside and sat near it, pensive. All of Ben’s darkest thoughts were coming to haunt him. They flooded in through the gaping hole in his soul where his children should be. I deserve this. For the past ten years he had been fooling himself, thinking he could have a normal life, hidden away from the galaxy with the woman he loved and the beautiful children she bore him.

He was a monster, a killer, responsible for the deaths of thousands of beings unknown to him, and of course, one man he knew very well.

For the first time in a long time, Ben yearned for his mask, something to shield him and hide him from himself. He was in the middle of these nightmarish musings when he sensed someone coming up behind him. Ben was wound so tight, he almost drew his saber. Instead he searched the Force to find it was Dameron. It was only the decade he’d spent building his patience that had stopped him from slicing the man in half. But, in a strange way, he was glad to have his thoughts interrupted. Poe had two open bottles in his hand. He held one out to Ben. Ben shook his head. “I’m fine.” “Come on, we’re not finding them tonight. And you look like you could use one. Or ten.” Ben took the bottle from Poe and took a swig. He coughed, “You’re still drinking this garbage? Can’t the Alliance come up with anything better for it’s leadership?” “I can’t help it, I love the stuff,” Poe said as he sat across from him. “You’re a madman.” “I’ve been called worse.” Ben chuckled a little before growing serious again. “So have I.” “Eh, don’t be too hard on yourself.” “Is that a joke?” “Most definitely.” Ben rolled his eyes while both men drank from their bottles. “You know, you are different though. Then you were.”

Ben grew visibly tense. “Oh?” “I mean, even in all this.” Poe gestured around with the bottle. “When I heard about Sky and Hannah, I flipped. I was ready to mobilize, guns blazing, typical Poe Dameron bullshit. Thank the stars Connix got me to chill out. But I did put forty troopers on standby in anticipation of you showing up here and blowing up all my stuff. They had no idea why, of course.”

Ben’s nostrils flared. He wasn’t sure where this was going.

“You've surprised me, though. You seem... in control. Clearly, you and Rey are totally shot and that is completely understandable. But you haven’t killed any of my men or thrown anyone into a wall. I haven’t seen your saber once since you’ve been here. That’s impressive.”

Ben snorted as he shook his head. He took another sip. “It’s not easy,” he said eventually, quiet.

“I’m sure it’s not.” “This has all been… challenging.” Ben leaned down and rubbed the back of his neck, trying to relieve some of his tension. “I bet. Tell you what, I kinda feel a little bad for whoever took ‘em because, man… they messed with the wrong guy.”

Ben eyes got darker as he stared into the flames. “They deserve what’s coming to them,” Poe said, forcefully. Ben met Poe’s eyes and held them for a moment, then returned his gaze to the fire. “I want you to know…” Poe started and stopped, cleared his throat. “You know, I really did love your mother. She was like a mother to me and a mentor.”

Ben glanced at Poe but said nothing. “I’m sure Rey told you what I promised her.” “Rey doesn’t need to tell me anything. We have no secrets… But in this case yes, she told me what my mother asked of you.” There was a moment of silence while both men figured out what they wanted to say. “I’m sorry she did that.”

“Yeah, well…so was I,” Poe replied. “But not so much anymore." He paused a moment to collect his thoughts.

"Do you remember Sky’s party, the first one off Endor?" he asked Ben. "Hannah was still just a little peanut, barely two months maybe...” “She was four months old.” “Yeah, like I said, a little peanut still.” It was Sky’s third birthday. If Sky at two had enjoyed playing with Poe, Sky at three could not get enough. And chatty! The kid didn’t stop. “Poe! Poe! Here, look at this!” Running, jumping, showing Poe his new home, his new sister, the animals, the garden. Poe was having a blast with Sky, but dang, he was getting the crap kicked out of him by a three foot tall tornado. Eventually the night wound down and Sky was clearly tired. He was getting whiny in the way kids do. While running around, he tripped and started to cry.

Poe watched Sky lift off the ground and float across the yard into the waiting arms of his father. Ben sat down with him by the fire and wiped his tears. “You’ve had a pretty big day, little man.” “Yes,” Sky sniffled and snuggled into his father’s broad chest. “Papa, can I tell you a story?”

“I’d never heard anything like it. Usually with kids it’s ‘Tell me a story,’ right? Not that little bird, oh no. He wants to tell you one.”

“Of course,” Ben replied, pushing Sky’s hair off his forehead.

“So, Sky starts telling you a nonsense story, sitting in your lap. And he’s forgetting words as he goes and getting lost, probably because he’s so tired he can barely keep his eyes open, and you just keep filling in the blanks and leading him on, so patiently… it was hard to believe.

"Until finally, he’s out. And you put your chin on his head, totally… content. No tension, no malicious intent. Just, peaceful. “Needless to say I was conflicted by the scene. I mean, I spent a lot of time trying to murder you, man. A lot of good people died in the war, people I cared about. Your mother. But in that moment, I kind of… forgot. It was the first time I didn’t want to clock you.

"So I move towards the fire, but I’m still a tough guy, so I decide to mess with you a little bit. See what you’ll do.” “Hey, you ever use that Force sleep to get ‘em down?” Ben shot Poe a dark look. “Never.” “Come on, you serious? You’re exhausted, baby’s crying, nothing’s working… it’d be so easy to just... knock ‘em out.” Poe clucked his tongue and waved his hand. “I would never do that to my child.” Ben got up with Sky, presumably to put him to bed and avoid a confrontation. “Sure, sure.” Poe glared at Ben, wanting to remember how much he hated him. “It’s gotta be tempting sometimes, though, right?” Ben looked over at Poe, his son is his arms. His eyebrows raised slightly and he smirked. “Maybe sometimes,” he said, and winked. “I swear, Solo, in that moment... you looked just like your mother, this look she used to give me when I was being a smart-ass and she was putting me in my place.

"And it hits me. This guy... he’s just a guy. He’s Leia’s son. He loves his kids and he loves his wife and he’s doing what he can to do right by them.

"I hadn’t… I hadn’t been able to separate, to see you as anything other than the beast in my brain. But that night, something shifted a little bit for me. I could see something else, past the mask.” Ben’s face looked pained, but also a bit touched. He stared at the fire as he contemplated what he’d heard.

"A lot of people died because of me," he whispered.

"A lot of people died because of me," Poe countered.

The two men looked at each other for a long moment. “Your mother was right. She knew you’d need friends,” Poe said. Ben's eyes returned to the fire. “My mother was often right,” Ben replied, quietly. “That she was,” Poe agreed, his voice lightening. “She’d be super pissed right now, I’ll tell you.” Ben smiled just a little bit, causing his mouth to tremble slightly. “Yes, she would be.” It was not the first time in the past ten years that Ben Solo wished he had his mother. She would know what to do. The two men sat silently watching the flames, pensive, their heads filled with bittersweet memories. Poe abruptly stood up and cleared his throat. Ben leaned back, crossed his arms over his chest and blinked rapidly.

“Well, I’m calling it. Considering who knows what our lives are gonna be like for a while here, it’s probably a good idea to get some sleep.”

As Poe walked by Ben, he put his hand on his shoulder. Ben jumped just a little bit. “Hey.” Ben turned his head towards the hand, but did not look up. “We’re gonna find them, Solo. Don’t worry.”

Ben nodded. Poe turned to walk away. “Dameron,” Ben turned his head towards Poe’s departing figure. “Yeah?” Poe said, turning back. “...Thank you,” Ben said, turning his head back towards the fire. Poe had no idea what it cost the man to say that to him, but he imagined it was a lot. He turned around and started to walk away. “Eh, don’t mention it,” he called over his shoulder.

Poe just couldn’t help being a smart-ass.

#star wars #reylo fanfic #reylo #save ben solo #poe dameron

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nora-reads-homestuck · 7 years

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"Fan" Album, old archived posts by Hussie, some videos, and two actual Fanworks!

(SkaiaMechanic) Another Fanfest Post! What Nora responded to here was actually done back in December. However, various parts were incomplete (for reasons you’ll see) so this just sat around in the Google Doc for months. It’s getting to a point where it’s just clogging up the shared document, so I’m posting what’s here and will make additional posts based on the rest of the content when/if she gets to them. Enjoy!

brrrrrrrrd submitted to nora-reads-homestuck:

Visual art has never really been my thing, and other people have been far better at sharing pre-Act 6 art than I could be, but I can submit a few things you may have missed. They’re all somewhat dubiously labeled “fanwork” being that most of them made by either members of the music team or Hussie himself, but I don’t know of any better time to post them.

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Before we get into the meat of this post, there is one more “fan” album you are current on. It came out just a week after Act 6 began and has no songs about anything from it. It’s called Tomb of the Ancestors and is by Kalibration (aka Robert Blaker) who also wrote Upward Movement (Dave Owns), Skaian Flight, Play the Wind, and Ira Quod Angelus, among other things. https://homestuckgaiden.bandcamp.com/album/tomb-of-the-ancestors-unofficial-album

There’s nothing more recent than Nov. 17th, 2011 on that page.

(Past!Skaia) As a single person fan-album, it’s not necessary to review this, at least not now. If you were going to, I would suggest holding onto it for later, when the amount of music albums in the story dramatically drops off.

(Nora) I agree, and will hold off for now! Album reviews actually take me a while to get finished because I can only listen to things at certain times, and I want to save my steam for meatier posts right now.

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Most of this stuff is stuff that has previously been deleted by Hussie or hidden by the original poster, so if that’s not kosher then feel free to skip down to the section below this one. A little background: Hussie at previous points in time had both a Formspring and a Tumblr on which he would talk about various things Homestuck, and other various things. He also has a nasty habit of deleting old things, meaning a LOT of his old posts are gone and most of them only exist as archives. Here’s some of that stuff, most which was posted before Act 6 or if it was posted during only very early on and not referencing events of Act 6.

To start things off, the origin story of Hussie’s horse painting. This one actually still exists, but the images are broken: https://web.archive.org/web/20140408053025/http://andrewhussie.blogspot.com/2009/01/need-for-steed.html

(Nora) I’ve seen this one before, but I read it again and I think I guffawed just as hard, if not harder. Hussie has quite the way with words… and homoeroticism.

Hussie’s infamous trip to Olive Garden: https://web.archive.org/web/20130312060633/http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/post/12963616983/land-of-souls-and-olives-a-conclusion-pasta-la-vista

Olive Garden part 2: https://web.archive.org/web/20130312060012/http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/post/13585722775/land-of-souls-and-olives-a-conclusion-plmfers-part

(Nora) Trix once suggested I audio react to these. Would that be a good idea?

(Past!Skaia) Nah, just read them through. It’s definitely worth a read, but nothing more than that. (Current!Skaia: As of 3/5/17, there’s no indication whether she’s gone through it or not. I’ll keep it in the GoogleDoc just in case though.)

The post-Cascade recap part 1, in which he talks about the the process of creating it and then the content of it. Really great insight into his creation process: http://web.archive.org/web/20111028175330/http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/post/11938555890/about-eoa5-part-1

Cascade recap part 2: http://web.archive.org/web/20111028222551/http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/post/11941710181/about-eoa5-part-2

Recap part 3: http://web.archive.org/web/20120801112223/http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/post/11960418585/about-eoa5-part-3

Recap part 4: http://web.archive.org/web/20111029142442/http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/post/11975241895/about-eoa5-part-4

There are more posts on his tumblr if you go to the archive and and mess around with the Wayback Machines captures, including a reddit AMA that for some reason only collected the questions from reddit and answered them on tumblr. But that’s for a point much later in the comic.

(Nora) Huh! Fascinating read-through. I enjoyed him talking about the process in particular (he makes it seem deceptively simple, doesn’t he, considering the lion’s share of the comic was a completely solo project banged out at a nearly inhuman pace). It hadn’t occurred to me that [S] Descend was actually scored, as opposed to simply animated to existing music, which is a bit embarrassing since it is obviously a medley. I also like what he says when he clarifies Doc Scratch’s means and motive—it’s basically exactly what I’d surmised from reading all his conversations. That tricky, tricky bastard. I am however still mystified by the Horrorterrors, and neither does Hussie seem keen to provide a real explanation for their actions:

The dark gods helped chart their course through this spacetime maze to deliver them to this location, at this time. Take that for what you will

(Nora) Also… why the hell did I not ever realize that Lord English is literally a giant green space pimp??? He’s got the gold tooth, the horrible gaudy coat, the pimp cane cue stick peg leg…

First of all, [Jade] didn’t actually conjure the 4th wall out of thin air. Remember when Karkat told her to turn the wall off, and then draw it? He was asking her to captchalogue an undamaged copy using her Pictionary modus, for this exact purpose. The eventual getaway. So she had it on standby, waiting for the right time to use it.

(Nora) Ohhhhh. OHHHHHHHH. Wow, this whole plan was even more convoluted than I thought, and with the whole password system and all, it was already pretty damn convoluted.

What’s waiting for them on the other side, beside a big ugly coat? Recall the setup I had with the two 4th walls facing each other, separated by one yard. They will break through the wall on the right, traveling nearly the speed of light, and presumably, break through the wall on the left to enter another reality. If you were thorough during Seer: Descend, you might have caught this excerpt on a bookshelf. “Though we adore Him we shall never enjoy His beauteous Croak. We spill our blood on acres of black and white so they may cross the yellow yard. At last in Skaia’s reflection through broken glass He may find the pond in which He’s meant to squat.”

(Nora)You may recall that when I played through the minigame, upon coming across that excerpt I said the following:

(PastPast!Nora) ….’They’ may cross the ‘yellow yard’? This must be referring to Hussie’s aforementioned interference with the story. It’s pretty abstruse, but I feel like it’s telling me something that I’m going to come back and go ‘OHHHH’ over, when I’ve seen more of the story.

(Nora) Consider me motherfuckin’ OHHHH’ed.

However, speaking of AMAs, Hussie’s Formspring was essentially a year and a half long AMA and most if not all of the questions answered there have been compiled here: http://irratio.org/andrew_hussie_formspring_archives.html

Most of the early questions are inane, but after a while (after he stops answering everything that comes across his message box) there’s some really great responses in there (and some really funny jokes.) Only thing is, it is *LONG* and will take a really long time to get through. It went on from late February of 2010 to early October of 2011, with the last responses being around the beginning of the pause during work on Cascade.

(Past!Skaia) It truly is long. Kinda worth it though, and amusing to see Hussie’s actual trolling.

(Nora) Hahahaha, Hussie is a troll and I love him.

Who do you think should be the next president of the United States?

dumb

(Nora) Welp, consider that one prophetic.

Once there is a reasonable number of strips, is there any chance of a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff book with commentary by Dave Strider?

yeah

(Nora) That one too, I guess.

When do you think HS will be over?

ive been considering ending it on 8/26/10.

but who the hell knows if that’ll pan out.

(Nora) AHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHA. AHAHA. HA.

(Nora) I’m going to leave it here for now, as there are SO MANY DAMN QUESTIONS and I really ought to finish my text post.

(Past!Skaia)Sounds good. Once you finish the post above I’ll set up a queue for your responses to the messages above.

(Current!Skaia) This was the main reason I held onto this post. It’s no telling when she’ll get back to this though, so I’m posting what I have. I’ll keep the link in the document, and if she ever does go back to read and comment more I’ll make some more posts!

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Enough decidedly *not* fanworks, here’s some things you might possibly call fanworks! If you can call things made by Bowman or Toby Fox fanworks. And bonus actual fanworks!

(Current!Skaia) I have not shown Nora any of the below. I think…they’re not really necessary? Except Savior of the Slamming Jam, obviously, but that’s also in a submission she hasn’t gotten to yet. If enough people think she “needs” to see them I’ll pass it along but otherwise I’m just leaving it here.

A concert in someone’s front yard! http://www.nospoiler.com/y/HRT758PTmpw

Toby Fox’s Homestuck Abridged! [Removed for Giant Spoilers!]

An actual fanwork, Savior of the Slamming Jam! http://www.nospoiler.com/y/CKrO8kS8D6g

Chorale for Jaspers & Pony Chorale, Live! http://www.nospoiler.com/y/o0Z0oopPGpM

I’m a Member of the Midnight Crew, Live! http://www.nospoiler.com/y/xR5vN0ve4lY

How Do I Live, live! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDSEXd4KyO8

Actual fanwork, Club’s Deuce’s Homework! http://www.nospoiler.com/y/dLo22lvynNg

And two shitpost videos by Bowman:

1) Cascade announcement (can’t no spoiler link to this one, but comments are disabled: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o4NvBz8xac

2) “Toby Fox” is now on YouTube (can’t no spoiler link to this one either, unfortunately. Still, comments disabled): https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=WL&v=pA9uy3KdeEU

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I don’t think I have anything else at this time that either definitely has spoilers or possibly does due to having come out squarely in 2012 or later.

#NRHS #brrrrrrrrd #submission

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janetrhogle772-blog · 5 years

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How to Create Budget-Friendly Dream Home Office

It's January! There's something about the promise of a new year that always gives me extra motivation to tackle tough projects. January feels like is a fresh start, and it's no wonder that we get the urge to refresh and get organized! Christmas is over, and it's time to get back to work. For me that means heading back to my home office since I work from home. And this January I decided it was finally time to tackle the project that I had been putting off for the past few years. …..creating my dream home office!

Last January I reorganized my pantry with the help of Better Homes & Gardens products from Walmart and it turned out amazing. Last summer I reorganized my boy's study space using Better Homes & Gardens products! So it's no surprise that when I think of organizing on a budget my first stop is Better Homes & Gardens products at Walmart.

Julie and I are honored to be part of The Better Homes & Gardens at Walmart Influencer Network. We love representing a brand that provides quality style at affordable prices. We receive compensation for our time and efforts in creating this post. Our convenient shopping links help support our blog work but add no additional expense for you. All our opinions are authentically our own, and as always we hope you enjoy.

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The Obstacles

My office has been on my to-do list for years. And for years I had been making up excuses. Beautiful photos had been catching my eye on Instagram and Pinterest, photos of beautiful pristine stylized work spaces that made me lust after a home office space of my dreams. But these photos also stopped me in my tracks for several reasons:

Cost. I didn't have a budget for new furniture and fancy new decor.

Time. I didn't have time for complicated DIY projects. I had WORK to do.

Practicality. I saw plenty of photos of gorgeous office spaces with stand-alone desks situated in the middle of an empty room. Where was all the STUFF? Where were all the files, the supplies, the books? I saw lots of beautiful office space ideas, but none delivered the practical storage and work space I needed.

Do any of these problems sounds familiar? Every time I lamented about how messy my office was I found myself stuck with too many road blocks and excuses that kept me from creating the space I craved.

Here are a couple of “Before” photos to give you an idea of how desperate the situation was! When a space is unorganized it can quickly become a “dumping ground” for everything that needs to be stored!

My Dream Office Goals

Since the office inspiration photos on Pinterest wouldn't work, I started thinking about what would work. I needed my office space to include:

A large desk. One that was big enough to hold two large computer screens and room for at least two people to sit and work side by side.

Lots of storage space. I needed room to incorporate at least two filing cabinets, and shelves for books and supplies.

A feeling of calm. I wanted the space to look and feel uncluttered, and organized so that time spent in the office gave me space to breath and think clearly.

And all of this I needed to achieve within a budget of $500 or less. It seemed a daunting task.

Dream Home Office: 3 Step Planning Process

Step 1: Evaluate Current Furniture

First of all, ask yourself, which of your current furniture pieces….

need to stay? In other words, which pieces do you like?

can you work with?

are too expensive to replace?

are useful?

can you get rid of?

Step 2: Re-imagine The Space

With these decisions made I started to re-imagine the space. With some pieces gone what space, if any, was free? And what pieces could I imagine in these spaces? I wanted to try to keep the desk and design around it. With the spaces empty to either side of the desk I started to imagine creating symmetry on both sides of the desk and both sides of the large window.

I knew what would be perfect. Cube organizers from Better Homes & Gardens are the greatest things ever! I measured the space and went to Walmart.com to shop for the cubes that would fit my space. It was so easy because they have cubes to fit any space in all different configurations. I went with two 2 x 3 cube organizers. They fit perfectly. And I bought them in white to contrast with all the dark furniture in the room. They have them in lots of colors and finishes to fit any decor theme you might want.

Step 3: Work With What You Have

I knew I couldn't afford to buy all new furniture. And some of my existing shelves were already providing some useful storage that I really needed. My question was how to use what I had but make it look and feel more organized.

My solution? Organizing bins!

The big black computer armoire was too useful in terms of storage to get rid of. And the dark wood shelves were also useful storage pieces. In a perfect world I might have considered buying new furniture, but budget constraints forbid it. I also thought of how much I would love to paint all three pieces just to brighten up the room. Alas, I didn't have the time to take on that project at the moment. Instead I added cream colored fabric organizing bins from Better Homes & Gardens to the shelves to give a much more stream-lined, organized look. The light fabric instantly brightened up the dark shelves and brightened up the room.

I also used some wire frame baskets with cream colored liners. These add a fun industrial-farmhouse vibe without breaking from the black and white color theme.

Next, it's time to get to work! Now that the planning stage is complete it's time to make it happen.

5 Steps to Your Dream Home Office

Step 1: Take everything out of the room.

This may seem extreme but you need to deal with EVERYTHING and create a blank slate so that you can rethink the space.

Step 2: Purge and sort into three categories.

Keep – and sort into piles of like items.

Donate – what has value but is not essential to you anymore?

Recycle/trash – have large boxes or bags ready to fill.

Step 3: Put together your dream home office.

Now let's put the room back together. This is when all your hard work starts to pay off. It's so rewarding to see the new space emerge. Hang in there! You're almost done.

Don't forget what this space looked like before:

And after…..

Step 4: Deal with displaced items/trash.

Next up: Dealing with displaced items. Once the room is clean you need to get rid of or repurpose everything that came out of your office. Don't delay in this step. It can be tempting to just focus on your beautiful new room and put this step off, but don't! Otherwise you're trading one mess for another. The feeling of accomplishment is so well worth the effort.

Take Recycle and trash out.

Take a trip to the donation center.

Look at sorted items and start to think about how/where you will store these in your new space.

This is where the beauty of the bins really comes into play. They provide the perfect way to organize but they hide the items from view! And you can't beat the price: $11.34 for a set of 2!

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Step 5: Decorating your dream home office

The final touch is to add style. Of course this is the fun part. Add just enough to make it feel finished, but not too much so it feels cluttered. Just how much is a matter of personal preference. Enjoy letting your personality shine through these details.

Can we just pause for a moment and talk about these AMAZING lamps?? Oozing style, these lamps are a statement! Gorgeous, affordable…I might need more of them…just sayin'!

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A plush white rug with a simple modern pattern brightens up the room and freshens up a dull carpet. Layering rugs really makes a room feel complete. This particular rug is both Julie's and my favorite. We each own several. It's stylish, affordable, doesn't shed, wears well, and is super soft!

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My Dream Home Office Decor Choices

To continue the feeling of organization I wanted to use symmetry and keep decor simple and streamlined. Modern lamps are the perfect accents. They provide a style statement, but they are also functional.

Two round mirrors also add style and increase light without distracting the eye too much. I also love how they continue the simple geometric theme of the room.

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Sleek faux plants add a touch of organic detail while keeping things streamlined. The plants and containers I chose fit the modern, minimalist style of my dream home office.

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Modern minimalist style really works in an office because the focus is on simplicity. Keeping surfaces open and clear of clutter is the best decor element for any office. Now I have room to work and space to think!

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Time to Create Your Own Dream Home Office!

Let 2019 be your year to stop making excuses and get to work creating the home you dream of. Take lessons from me and don't allow obstacles to stand in your way. What I learned from this project is that my dreams are attainable! Images of Pinterest perfection should inspire, not discourage. Using Better Homes and Gardens products available at Walmart I've shown you that great style doesn't have to mean high prices. I hope this transformation motivates you to tackle your own home organization projects. Because the home office of your dreams awaits!

Happy Organizing, Friends!

With love & gratitude,

Jodie & Julie

The post How to Create Budget-Friendly Dream Home Office appeared first on The Design Twins | DIY Home Decor Inspiration Blog.

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terrieallison510 · 6 years

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Trans in the South: Meet Kids Finding Acceptance in the Bible Belt

Awesome Black Metal Stuff!

Fluttering around her balcony garden, Allie pauses to check on her plants and herbs, her long golden hair spilling over her shoulders and down her back. She beams, marveling over her growing cabbage plant.

“I got this from school,” the nine-year-old says proudly. “That’s the first plant we ever had in the garden.”

Allie, whose name has been changed to protect her privacy, then bounces across the balcony to see if any eight-legged tenants had checked into her bug hotel, then back again to run her fingers through a hanging Boston fern named Max.

With her booming personality and bubbly chatter, Allie is an exuberant, confident third-grader. She is also a transgender child living in southern Alabama, a bastion of conservative values, gun shows and Republican voters.

“I have so many friends like, ‘I can’t believe you live in Alabama, especially having a child that’s transgender,” says Allie’s mom Kimberly, who was instantly smitten with Southern hospitality. “When we go out places, everybody’s so friendly and so nice. They all want to talk to you.”

After all, Alabama is home to Roy Moore, the embattled Senate candidate who campaigned on anti-LGBT vitriol and still garnered 48 percent of the vote. Alabama was ranked the number-one most religious state by the Pew Research Center and the state doesn’t have a non-discrimination law covering gender identity or sexual orientation.

Yet southern Alabama has been a kind of haven for Allie and her family.

“Since we’ve moved here it’s like almost every stereotype that I’ve had about Alabama has been kind of destroyed,” Kimberly says. “I definitely worry about her safety here, but honestly she is at risk in even the most liberal areas of the country as well. There’s hate and misunderstanding in regards to the transgender community in every part of the country.”

The warm welcome Allie has gotten in southern Alabama was a far cry from the chilly reception the family received at her former New Hampshire elementary school. Her transition from male to female at the age of six was begrudgingly tolerated at best, Kimberly says.

The principal’s response, she says, was “‘We’ll comply with what you want but we’re very clearly not excited about it.'”

When Kimberly and her fiancé, Joe, met with the principal of her new school in Alabama, they were fully prepared to homeschool Allie if her transgender status was met with criticism or judgement. Instead they were greeted with open arms by the school’s principal.

“She was like, ‘”Look, a student’s a student. My job is to take care of all the kids and make sure they’re all safe and they are all in an environment where they’re comfortable and they can learn,'” Kimberly recalls the principal telling her. “‘And just cause your kid’s transgender doesn’t change that.’ I was like, ‘Hoo, are we sure we’re in Alabama?’ It was awesome.”

All over the Bible Belt, transgender children and their families are finding acceptance and support in traditionally conservative towns. The tide is slower to change here than in more liberal locales, but there are signs that even the most conservative areas are not just tolerating the LGBTQ community, but laying out the welcome mat.

In Mississippi, the controversial H.B. 1523 law is still in effect, allowing legal, religious-based discrimination against LGBTQ people and families, yet the small town of Starkville proudly put their rainbows on display this year for its first-ever Pride parade. It was the largest parade in the city’s history, according to local reports.

Transgender advocates say each experience of acceptance creates a ripple effect that helps bust stereotypes about both transgender people and Southern values.

“The stereotype of conservative communities, [that] there’s an outcry against these young transgender kids, it’s just not true,” says Jennifer Grosshandler, mother of a 12-year-old trans daughter and co-founder the the GenderCool Project, a newly launched nationwide nonprofit that works with transgender children and teens to help them share their stories. “Conservative towns and conservative communities are full of awesome people who are going to support these children. The more stories are told, the more we normalize this conversation.”

There are no hard numbers on the population of American children who identify as transgender, but a 2018 study published in the journal Pediatrics found that of nearly 81,000 ninth and 11th-grade students surveyed in Minnesota, about three percent – or more than 2,100 students – identified as transgender or gender nonconforming.

“What we are trying to show is that there’s no harm in acceptance or simply tolerance,” says GenderCool co-founder Gearah Goldstein, who is herself trans. When communities accept transgender children, “the end result is a thriving child, a thriving family and in essence, a thriving community. Because no one is being harmed.”

Nearly 500 miles away from Allie’s balcony garden, 15-year-old Landon is living openly in his suburban east Texas town. He was chosen as one of The GenderCool Project’s five champions – trans teenagers from across the country that are excelling in sports, school, activism and the arts – and has been been advocating for transgender rights all over Texas, from speaking out against the state’s bathroom discrimination bill at the state capitol to posing for photos with actress Laverne Cox at scholarship event.

“People definitely have these stereotypes about what it means to be a queer person in the South,” Landon says. “I even have these perceptions of the South: extremely conservative, Trump flags around every corner. And, in some cases, that’s true.”

But living in plain sight, he says, are legions of LGBTQ southerners and their allies.

“What I found so surprising is the massive community that we have here,” Landon says. “People that are proud and out and who are able to live their lives at work, at school and with their families.”

It’s only when transgender people bump up against outdated fears and opinions, or are grilled about how and where they use the bathroom, Goldstein explains, that they are forced to validate their existence time and time again.

“It’s so important that people can see Landon and go, ‘Yeah he’s a good dude, whatever. Oh he’s trans, OK,” Goldstein says. “And you can say, you know, nothing to see here. It’s not a big deal.”

That’s what makes Landon such a good role model for his entire community, says Aaron, his dad, and for everyone else who might not have met a transgender person.

“People have given him a chance and gotten to know him, just as a kid,” Aaron says. “And then he just gets gets to be another person judged on his actions, his character his accomplishments.”

Landon himself doesn’t view himself through a trans lens, and he doesn’t want other people to, either.

“I’m not Landon the trans guy,” Landon says. “I’m so much more than just my trans identity, such as an artist, a musician. I play the trumpet in my school band, I like to write poetry, I like to take pictures, I like to work out with my dad. It’s so much more than just being trans.”

Aaron admits he had a learning curve for parenting a transgender child. As he and his wife Erika watched Landon repeatedly throw fits over dresses and skirts as a young child, and demand a “boy short” haircut, they assumed Landon would eventually come out as a lesbian.

For Aaron, the struggle to accept the idea that his child might be gay stemmed, in part, from being raised in the deeply conservative Pentecostal church.

“It was probably an annual, if not more frequent sermon on the evils of being gay,” Aaron says in a soft Texan drawl. “I was kind of told what I should believe on it and once those sermons were over I didn’t have good reason to think about it again.”

Landon began his transition at age 11, with an email to his parents to finally share his secret — that he was meant to be a boy. He agonized over each word, terrified of what hitting “send” would mean for him and his relationships.

“It was such an uncertain action. I remember writing in my journal that I was pretty sure my parents would be supportive, but I was still scared to death of how this coming out and how these few words would change my life forever,” Landon says.

The email was as life changing for his parents as it was for Landon.

“The three of us just hugged and cried,” says Aaron. “We assured him that everything was going to be OK and we didn’t know what we needed to do, but we were going to find out.”

Though Aaron left the church 10 years ago over a difference in ideologies, the idea of a transgender child seemed completely foreign – and terrifying. He carried a lot of fear of what Landon’s life as a trans man might hold.

“I had to let it all out so I’d go outside or in my car,” Aaron says, “and I mean I would just cry and cry.”

It was meeting a transgender man who had built a successful life for himself at a local PFLAG chapter that convinced him to let go of his gripping fear and see that Landon’s life could be just as rich and full as he’d imagined. They’ve also found a tremendous amount of resources for Landon, all just a short drive away, including a medical clinic that specializes in treating transgender patients.

As Landon began his public transition, he and his parents realized almost everyone was willing to embrace him for who he was.

“I have had almost no detrimental experiences in my personal life with those I interact with daily,” he says.

Still, he’s had his identity questioned since he was a child, from the grandparents that insisted on gifting him a pink bike instead of the blue he asked for to the anti-trans bathroom bill supporters who want him out of the men’s room. Even his otherwise supportive high school pushed back, telling Aaron and Erika that Landon needed to use the nurse’s bathroom. His parents told them, firmly, that Landon would use the boy’s room or the school would face legal action.

Acceptance at school, by their peers and the faculty, is a critical step to success for transgender children like Allie and Landon. But even more important than acceptance, Goldstein says, is inclusivity. “That’s where it’s truly important, where, if you do not feel like a connected part of society, that damage is really unimaginable,” says Goldstein, “You’re not just helping the trans kids, you’re helping the entire school by being inclusive.”

Yet the family isn’t blind to the safety concerns that transgender people face daily as they decide when to disclose and to whom. In eastern and southeastern Texas alone, there have been four murders of transgender people in just over a year, including one just miles from Landon’s home.

As a “cis-passing, white male,” Landon says, “I am far less vulnerable than so many transgender individuals. [But] I recognize that these privileges very much impact how innately safer I am, and at a lesser risk of being physically harmed.”

Still, avoiding risky situations is an ongoing conversation Landon’s parents have with him.

“I am aware of how I need to navigate potentially dangerous situations,” Landon says, “and I acknowledge that I may not always be safe, especially with how openly I share and disclose my trans identity and experiences.”

Landon has become an outspoken, go-to voice for transgender rights. After his transition, he got his principal’s support to open a middle school Gay-Straight Alliance chapter.

Last year, at just 14 years old, Landon testified before the Texas legislature against the state’s so-called bathroom bill that would prevent transgender people from using the restroom that corresponds with their gender identity.

“Because I have a strong support system at home and in my community and among my friends, it’s important for me to be open and be vocal and fight for those who can’t,” he says. “Being visible in the South for me is not a choice.”

Earlier this spring Landon took the stage to share his story at an area Human Rights Campaign gala. “His success is a credit to an entire community of support. It just wasn’t one person or one family,” Aaron says. “When people come up to us saying, ‘Oh you must be so proud of him.’ We thank them as well for their part to play in who Landon is.”

Like Landon before her, Allie began blazing her own path from a very young age. “She’d put on a dress and then play with cars,” Kimberly says. By the age of two, “it kind of started turning into princesses and tea parties and she always wanted to do dress up stuff.”

By four, Allie began referring to herself as a girl during playtime and would role-play female characters, such as a mom or sister. Kimberly floated the idea to herself that Allie might be gay, but didn’t give it too much thought. Her concerns were more for the reception that Allie might get while out in traditionally feminine clothing.

“I didn’t know what other people were going to do. Where we lived in New Hampshire, it wasn’t the greatest area,” she says. “I was afraid, too, that she would feel bad about herself. That people, other kids would tell her the opposite of what I’d been telling her her entire life which is you do you, you’re fine.”

Then, when Allie was six and in the first grade, she chose to dress up for Halloween as a female character from the fashion doll franchise Monster High, complete with a wig and makeup.

“When we were out trick or treating, she ran into several kids that she knew from school and they didn’t recognize her at all,” Kim says. “That, I think, was one of the key things that got her to finally be like, ‘This is who I am.”

A few weeks later, Allie’s struggle with her gender identity came to a head. “She told a teacher there that she wanted to die because everybody thought she was a boy and she was a girl,” Kimberly says. “It was terrifying. You never think a child that young is going to have thoughts like that.”

Kimberly wracked her brain and blamed herself. “I was like, I’ve been as supportive as a I can and my kid still wants to die. What did I do wrong?” she says. “And how do I fix this?”

Their pediatrician diagnosed Allie with gender dysphoria and told Kimberly and Joe to follow her lead in terms letting Allie live openly and fully.

“We asked [Allie,] ‘Do you want us to refer to you as she and her, and a girl? Do you want me to say my daughter instead of my son? And she was like ‘Yes, that’s what I want.'” Kimberly says. “And I said OK.”

They started by taking her on a shopping spree for a new wardrobe.

“It was all the sparkly tutu-y skirts,” Kimberly says, “and anything that had sequins and glitter and bows.”

When she went back to school as Allie and with she/her pronouns, the reaction was mixed – and not just from the school staff.

“They decided that I could go to the girls bathroom,” Allie says. “There was this girl. I was in first grade, she was second grade and she didn’t like that I was transgender. She was like, ‘You’re supposed to be a boy, you’re supposed to go in the boys bathroom.'”

When asked what she thought about that, the light dimmed from her eyes and she dropped her voice.

“Didn’t really like it,” she says, before quickly changing the subject back to her garden.

When Kimberly and Joe decided to move from their rough-edged New Hampshire neighborhood, they cautiously took up an offer from Joe’s brother to join him in Alabama. “The stereotypes about Alabama are, we hate the gays, and rednecks and Confederate flags,” Kimberly says. “I was like we’re going bring this kid to the school and they are going to be like, “That child is an abomination’ or something.”

But the exact opposite happened.

While Allie’s principal in Alabama, her teachers, the school nurse and the secretary that handles student files knows that Allie is transgender, they have not disclosed to anyone in the community, including her friends and classmates.

Allie is free to disclose that she is transgender, Kimberly says. “I dread the thought that friends might reject her or someone might harm her in the future,” she says. “As of right now, she understands that not everyone agrees with and accepts who she is and that while she shouldn’t be ashamed of who she is, she should definitely be cautious.”

But for Allie, being transgender is almost an afterthought in her daily life. She’d much rather talk about her cats or her latest comic book ideas.

“I wouldn’t go up to somebody and be like, ‘Hi my name’s Kim and I identify as a female and I have a vagina.'” Kimberly says. “Anybody that’s cisgender doesn’t have to tell their friends what genitals they have, so why does somebody who’s transgender have to do that?”

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