#I hope it's fairly in-character I tried really hard but messing up character voices terrifies me which is why I've never tried this before | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aria-i-adagio · 3 years

Note

5,10, 14,20 please!

Gracias! I’m guessing this is from the OTP asks and for Anders/Hawke. Hope it is.

10) What scares them about entering a relationship?

Heheh.

Anders, of course, is convinced that being with him will likely get Hawke killed. Or that Hawke will decide that he’s a monster who is unworthy of being loved.

Adrian gets intensely attached to people. (Anxious attachment style.) He’s deeply afraid of getting into a relationship only to lose another person he loves.

14) What makes them feel loved? Would they build up the courage to ask for it?

Good news. They’re both idiots, but they’re both touch-starved idiots. Asking for it probably isn’t a problem.

Adrian is also very much a “I found this thing I thought you’d like/made me think of you, here is it. Do you like it? Please like it.” kind of guy.

20) When would they say “I love you?” Do they say it first? Do they say it often, or is it reserved for special moments?

With Anders canonical default endearment being ‘my love’, there’s plenty of evidence that he’d also be fairly free with the “I love you.” Adrian tends to be a bit more reserved. Be that as it may, Adrian said it first.

5) How do they consciously realize that they like the other character? Does it take them a while?

I guess the question is like versus *like*.

I tend to go with the idea that no matter what romance route is played that Anders has at least some romantic interest in Hawke from Act 1. But after Karl’s death, I think there’s a combination of both not being ready and believing that he’s too dangerous for anyone to be in a relationship with him.

Adrian was interested in Anders from very early on. Oddly attractive man with a ‘sexy, tortured look’ develops into honest admiration of the fact that Anders is one of the few people in Kirkwall who’s actually interested in doing something good. But he’s A) used to playing his cards close to his chest (as while Ferelden may not particularly care about same-sex relationships, there does seem to be something of an expectation that they shouldn’t get in the way of children, Leandra has definitely messed with his head, etc.), and B) he’s a small, somewhat insecure ball of anxiety who’s afraid of rejection. He also very good at repressing things, so for most of Act 1, he’s in denial of being interested beyond a “yep, that one’s handsome.”

However, have a show rather than tell. (SFW fic below. Unedited.)

Hawke has determined that he does not like the Deep Roads. And he hates Bartrand. Who the fuck does that? Leaves their brother to die over a chunk of stone, or whatever that idol was made of?

You let your brother die. You left him.

That was different. I couldn’t protect him. I tried, I swear.

Bethany sneaks up on him from behind and loops her arm through his. She leans her head on his shoulder. “Carver was already dead, ‘Dri.”

He knows that she can’t actually read minds, but sometimes he wonders whether she picked the skill up somewhere. Or maybe it’s a little sister thing. He stops walking and tilts his head to the side, touching his cheek to her hair. “I should have -”

“If any of us could have, we would have.” Bethany pats the other side of his face. “Look about, is this a decently safe place?”

The Deep Roads do require a qualifier for the word safe. Adrian lifts his head and glances around. Ahead, there’s a bridge over a chasm. If it’s sturdy enough, it will give them good lines of sight and walls on two sides. “Ahead will do.”

“Thanks, ‘Dri.” Bethany lets go of his arm and jogs ahead to where Varric and Anders are walking together, both with their weapons in hand, reasoning that if Anders could sense darkspawn, Varric might be able to take them down with Bianca before they got too close. Or thin them out. “Hey. Think it’s night yet?”

“You’re the only Sunshine I see. What’s your opinion?”

“That I’m tired.”

Varric looks around and shrugs. “Then it’s night. Might as well make camp.”

Hawke keeps watch well after they've eaten a sad and meager (who knows how long they'll be searching for an exit now?) meal of hard bread. Bethany told him that he didn't need to; the glyphs she and Anders had set on either end of the bridge would last far past the time Varric's little clockwork watch was set to come. But he couldn't talk himself into following her advice. Darkspawn had killed Carver. They were not going to take Bethany from him.

He isn't the only one still awake. Anders had laid out his bedroll as close to the fire as he could, and he huddles close to the glow of the embers. He’d panicked when Bartrand swung the door closed on in, and once it became clear that neither Varric nore Hawke would be able to pick the locking mechanism, cast multiple spells at the door before giving up on the idea of breaking through it by force. The mage had been quiet since, not even Varric had been able to draw him out.

"You alright?"

Anders lifts his face. There are always dark circles around his eyes, but they look worse in the low light of the fire. "I hate the Deep Roads."

"You could have said no." Hawke asked him to come because he had experience with the Deep Roads, and Darkspawn, and according to what was said of the Grey Wardens would be able to sense them ahead of time. "I would have understood."

Anders smiles grimly. "They're worse without a cat."

"You should try to sleep."

"You should too. Those glyphs I set were designed by a Warden mage. They're strong. This spot is as safe as it's going to get."

"Good to know." Hawke lies down, unsure whether he'll sleep, or just rest his eyes and listen for trouble. "Hey, Anders -"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for coming with me."

"Well, I'm here now."

It might have been an hour, it might have been two, and Hawke might have fallen asleep, or he might have been awake the whole time, but his eyes snap open the moment he hears something other than the crackling of coals. A low, distressed groan and panicked, incoherent mumbling. Hawke opens his eyes. There’s just enough of a glow left in the few embers to see Anders rolling over fitfully, flinging his arm out, nearly managing to catch his fingers in what’s left of the fire. His other arm falls over his mouth, muffling what might have been a scream if allowed to escape.

Hawke tosses off his blanket and crawls across the pavers to him. As he pulls Anders outstretched arm back from the fire, the mage’s eyes snap open and he bolts upright with a gasp, forehead knocking against Hawke’s chin.

“Hey there. You were dreaming.”

“I can hear them.” Anders curls forward, draws his long legs against his chest, and wraps his arms around his knees. “I can still hear it.”

"Hear what? The darkspawn?"

Anders doesn't respond with words, he just goes limp and slumps to the side. Adrian catches him and lets him lean his head against his shoulder. He's perfectly still for a minute, then awkwardly runs his hand through the mage's hair, not entirely sure Anders is awake enough to know where he is, much less who's holding him.

"Take a few deep breaths, okay?" Adrian wraps his other arm around Anders' and pats his shoulder. His joke about Anders 'sexy, tortured look' didn't seem quite as funny at the moment. "Nothing has tripped the glyphs you set. We're okay."

Anders' breathing calms, at least a little. "It's so dark. I can't do this again. I can't."

"I'd build back up the fire for you, but there's no fuel left." Varric had carefully gathered a certain dry fungus from the walls of the cages as they walked. It was the only combustible material available. "Do you hear them more, in the dark?"

"Or I hear nothing in the dark. Not a sound, not a word. I'm alone in it again, and..." The pitch and volume of his voice begins to rise and on instinct, Adrian hugs him tightly. Maker, the poor man is miserable. Hawke never would have asked him to come if he had only known.

Anders shudders and hiccups. "I can't be alone in the dark."

"I'm here." What happened to Anders that made the dark so terrifying? The Deep Roads themselves weren't always dark. Parts were. Other parts were lit by the glow of some sort of marvelous dwarven lamps that still worked after centuries. This wasn't one of those areas, and the lower the embers grow, the more Anders trembles. Without really noticing it, Adrian begins to rub his back and whisper in his ear, the way he sometimes had when one or the other of the twins woke with a childhood nightmare.

He doesn't know Anders well. It's maybe been three or four months since he sought him out to get the maps of the Deep Roads. He's good to know though - a good man. Bethany agrees. And Varric had taken the mage under his wing; Hawke knew the dwarf was paying off the Carta to leave the Darktown clinic alone.

Anders is also handsome in his own way, devilishly funny, and flirtatious, despite the very sad look he gets in his eyes if someone mentions the word Tranquil. 'I hadn't seen him in years,' Anders said, the one time Adrian got him to talk. 'But you know how it is, with first loves.'

Adrian does not actually know how it is with first loves. What relationships he had in Lothering weren't love affairs, just temporary flings with a presumed end date. A Ferelden freeholder needs a wife, needs children to help him work the land. It's just the way of things. No sense in getting too attached.

Like he's getting attached to this mage who hides years of sadness underneath dry humor. Anders has put himself back together a few times already, and right now, the cracks are showing.

"Lay back down. I'll stay with you."

It takes a few more shivers and hiccups before Anders does stretch his long limbs back out. Adrian intends to just sit next to him, maybe keep their fingers together, but Anders pulls at his arm until he lies down beside him on the narrow bedroll, on his side with his head cushioned on his folded arm. Adrian hesitantly strokes Anders' hair, and when that earns him a soft sigh, loops his free arm around the other man and snuggles a bit closer.

After all, it's not just dark in the Deep Roads, it's damn chilly as well. That’s what he tells himself.

When Varric’s little mechanical clock chimes a fake morning, Hawke still curled up around Anders, and Bethany is smirking at him.

#ask meme answers #dragon age fanfiction #hawke #anders #handers #adrian hawke

3 notes · View notes

smolbeandrabbles · 4 years

Text

Almost Maybes - Ralph Anderson x Jeannie Anderson (The Outsider)

@wltz-bby @happyskywhale

Happy Birthday @mandy23b 😘💕

May I proudly present to you, your babies!

Author’s Note: Pretty much entirely book canon and references, which is how we like things in this house!

I’m not gonna lie, when I very first heard this song (in... April?) I thought about it as a Ralph song, and then a Ralph/Jeannie concept and I knew that if I was going to do it - I would write it for you for your Birthday, so, it’s been a little while in the making, to say the least!

I hope you enjoy, and that you don’t mind that it’s not a reader insert for your birthday 🎁💙

Love you lots @mandy23b! 😘😘

Almost Maybes - Jordan Davis

Disclaimer: Show watchers only, a whooole bunch of book references ahead / The Outsider & characters belong to Stephen King / gifs & lyrics not mine

Premise: Ralph reminisces on everything that has led to him being right here, right now...

Words: 1452

Warnings: N/A - literally there is more swearing in the lyrics than there is anything in the story.

_______

I had one saying we were done In a Baton Rouge college bar It kinda came out of nowhere Man, I took that one pretty hard And I had another one in another town And I spent a whole lot of nights missing her 'Til it all went black, she stopped texting back And I finally got the picture So here's to the almost, so close It's over out of the blues Here's to the "hey, I think we need to talk" And the "it ain't me, it's you" Here's to the tears and beers and wasted years On the weeds that looked like daisies I wouldn't be sitting here next to you If it weren't for the almost maybes Here's to the one that my family thought Was gonna make me drop to one knee And I tried like hell, but I couldn't help My mama loved her more than me And to all those July crushes Turning into September leavin's Goodbyes that didn't feel good back then It happened for a real good reason Wouldn't be no all alones Wouldn't be no sad songs Wouldn't be no had enough Pick yourself up and get to moving ons From the didn't work outs The girls next door and the bat shit crazies There wouldn't be no you and me right now If it weren't for the almost maybes No, it wouldn't be no you and me right now If it weren't for the almost maybes

---

It was a fairly quiet day in the Anderson household – which all three of them could be glad of. Derek had been to Summer camp again this year and, having only been back a few weeks, Ralph was trying to encourage ample family time. Today, though, he’d let his son off and let him sleep in until 12pm (probably). Ralph was sitting out in the backyard, staring out across the grass even though he wasn’t really looking at anything. Instead, and probably why he was letting Derek sleep in, Ralph was doing some reminiscing. It wasn’t often he thought about his life before his family; probably because there wasn’t much to think about. Nothing particularly worth highlighting: he and his brother had drifted apart and only shared the occasional holiday or birthday card. There wasn’t really anything of note in his career either, sure he had plenty of horrifying stories from his early days at Flint City PD – but that was all overshadowed by the events of the previous summer. (And who in their right mind would want to reminisce any of that?!) The only good thing about last summer was meeting Holly. Instead Detective Anderson was reminiscing on how exactly he got to be right here, right now. How did he arrive at this moment in time, with the son he was allowing to sleep in… and Jeannie. Ralph wasn’t really one to go around proclaiming his love from the rooftops, but if he felt the need to ever get sappy… Well, there wasn’t any other words for it, she was the love of his life. Arguably the only love he’d ever really had. Which is what he was thinking on right now. Sure he’d had crushes, high school girlfriends, college girlfriends… summer romances and then the kinds of ‘love’ that lasted about as long as Spring Break. Geez, that’s too long ago to want to think about! But Jeannie was like none of those, there was no all-consuming passion or ever the belief of holding onto something and making it work just because… Sure he’d had those fast-heart-beat do-not-screw-this-one-up-Ralph! Your-life-depends-on-it! moments when he’d first met her. But Jeannie always made everything so easy; Ralph worked hard for her because he loved her, because he wanted to be impressive – not just good boyfriend material, but husband material… and then father material. Now he could think back to 15 years ago when she’d come rushing to him to announce the result of her pregnancy test: as scary as the Outsider? Well it had been to him at the time. Jeannie was his best friend; she had been for 25 years. And to him, that was what really mattered. They had stuck together through everything: good and bad, the very toughest of times – and Ralph could also count a fair few of those. He laughed to himself, suddenly remembering some of the break ups. He and Jeannie had had many an argument and disagreement but they’d never fought; not in the way that had ever had him thinking they wouldn’t make it. Ralph fretted more that they wouldn’t make it because he wasn’t good enough for her; worried over that one for years, even when they’d first got married. He’d probably never been more nervous than asking her father for his blessing… then more terrified that she’d simply say no. But some of the other break ups. Sometimes the arguments were just plain funny to think back on – even if they hadn’t been at the time. Ralph had taken plenty of rejections pretty hard, that when he examined them in hindsight revealed he’d probably dodged bullets. Oh, he’d done his fair share of breaking up with people – some had even been pretty amicable! – but there was some bad mixed in too, one so awkward that Ralph hadn’t even been able to tell her he was breaking up with her because she wouldn’t stop crying. Yeah, probably best not to reflect on that one… It took a little time for him to realise she’d been calling him. “-Honey, are you alright!?” “Oh!” He smiled instantly, “Yeah, sorry, I-” She shook her head at him gently, there was no need for an explanation, Jeannie already knew. “Would you like coffee?” He nodded, “That would be great!” “White and sweet?” “Like me!” Ralph beamed, stealing Jeannie’s favourite phrase – it’s what she always said. He at least raised a laugh from her as she headed back inside and he watched her go, still beaming. That immediately set his mind to good things, for they had shared many more of those. In fact, Ralph wasn’t the only one with previous horror story relationships. He and Jeannie had had many a giggle together about some of her own. When he was a little younger Ralph used to joke about arresting anyone who had formerly broken her heart – if he were honest with himself, he’d probably still do it. She joined him then, placing his coffee down on the garden table she sat beside him, hands around her own. Jeannie sighed contentedly as she took her first sip – comfortable in the silence and Ralph’s presence as they observed their garden together. “So, what’s on your mind today, Mr. Anderson?” “Oh…” He shifted with a shrug, “Nothing exciting, previous relationships. Everything that lead to me being here.” She looked across to him with a raised eyebrow, almost choking on her next sip, “Lord, that seems a little deep for a Sunday morning!” “I can be deep, sometimes!” She laughed at that, the way Ralph folded his arms but couldn’t keep that scowl up. Eventually instead he held his hand out for hers, and Jeannie was only too glad to slip her hand into his. Ralph squeezed hers gently, “I love you, you know that?” “Hmm, occasionally.” She couldn’t help her tease, taking another sip, “What’s gotten into you?” He sighed, “I dunno… I just…” “You know that Derek isn’t going to rise until early afternoon too, right?” It was past time for Ralph to drag him out of bed, anyway. “Well that’s part of it.” “What is?” Jeannie tipped her head gently at the way her husband was chewing the inside of his mouth. “Spending time together… Y’know? He’ll be heading to college before we know it and I just don’t want to miss-” “Ralph, Ralph!” She calmed him, “Sweetie, we have years yet, first you think too much on the past and then too much on the future! Don’t you give that brain of yours a rest?” She knew the answer, but Ralph shook his head anyway, “Can’t.” Her voice was soft, and she placed her mug down to gather his hand between both of hers, “You can.” “Okay, but… I was thinking about you too, you know?” There was suddenly that smile he loved so much upon her face, “Of course I do.” And his face lit up too, “I know exactly what you’re thinking, Ralph, I know you.” “Better than anyone.” He agreed, “Sometimes it’s scary.” Jeannie laughed again, “Well I figure sometimes I gotta be scary, or nothing would get done.” “Eh.” Although he wouldn’t quite disagree, “…I’d rather you be scary than some of our exes!” This time her laugh was infectious and he couldn’t help but chuckle as she placed a hand to her temple, “Oh, please! NO! Ralph-! I haven’t had to think about ex loves in 25 years, I shouldn’t like to start now!” “I just got thinking, if it wasn’t for all these people before you and everything I learned, I don’t think I’d ever be with you.” He’d screwed up before, more times than he’d probably care to admit, but Ralph couldn’t ever have afforded to with Jeannie. You know when you know; and Ralph had, almost immediately. Jeannie wasn’t about to let him take all the ‘credit’; “I messed up a bunch of times too.” She was as glad for it as he was, and despite her words, she knew he was right. Without all that, she wouldn’t be here holding his hand and wishing that Derek would wake up a little earlier without being forced to. “It was only ever really you.” She nearly blushed, “It was only ever really you, too.” “Oh?” He raised an eyebrow with a cocky grin, “That good, am I?” Jeannie shook her head, leaning across the table, Ralph leant in too, to accept her kiss. As sweet as their very first, and just as unforgettable as every kiss she’d ever given him. He chased her; one kiss wouldn’t be enough this morning. She had no complaints, he tasted just like the sugar in his coffee. That only had Jeannie laughing again, “You’ll do!”

---

Thank you for reading!!! 🥰🥰

#Happy Birthday Amanda!#Ralph x Jeannie #The Outsider HBO #The Outsider #hbos the outsider #Jeannie Anderson #Ralph Anderson #Ralph Anderson x Jeannie Anderson #Ben Mendelsohn #I was so on the edge of Andrew again but I had *this* idea ages ago #Knew it'd be /perfect/ for you #and it's a little different and I...#I just really hope you like it hun!#Hope I did them justice in my second go of writing them...#I think it's a little better than the first but I like /Trouble/ also #187

22 notes · View notes

doctorgerth · 4 years

Note

Hey my lovely? 💚 Can I ask for a headcanon with Zoro, Kid and Crocodile reacting to their female s/o asking for a break because they are afraid of their feelings for them? Angst and NSFW, if you want 😌 but also some fluff! The big best cocktail! Love youuuuu ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

MIHOOOOO my sweet lil mouse! Thank you for this lovely request and I’m so so so sorry it took so long to get this out to you. I am a SUCKER for angst aghhh especially angst for characters who are usually so calm and cool like these boys! I hope I wrote this to your liking honey 😌❤️

HCs: Fem S/O Wanting to Take a Break (Zoro, Kid, Crocodile)

(warning: light ns.fw content mixed in, typically at the end of the HCs list)

(( under the cut as it’s kinda long! ))

Zoro

“I can’t do this without you.”

- Zoro is a man of very few expressions, and it’s always hard to figure out just what he is thinking most of the time; his brows seem to be permanently furrowed, and paired with that infamous scowl of his, it’s taken you quite some time to figure him out

- but, when you approach him with a sad look, he’s instantly alert to what you have to say as he’s been your biggest comfort throughout the relationship; Zoro was tough and cold at times, but whenever you needed him he was always there to get you through anything (we all know Zoro is secretly a big ol teddy bear)

- needless to say, he wasn’t expecting that his girlfriend all of a sudden wanted to take a break, especially after assuming everything was perfectly fine, if not great between the two of you

- when you tell him that you’ve decided to take a break from the relationship, you see a little shift in his demeanor, as if he’s cracking underneath the surface

- his scowl is pulled up into tight lips, the brows that always hung low above his eyes are raised in shock and disbelief; and still, no words are able to leave him as he just looks at you, searching for any sign of pretense

- the way you look at him, like you’re already beginning to view him as a stranger, it doesn’t sit well with him; it wasn’t easy for him to sacrifice his selfish and cold ways to fall in love with you, but he did it any way because he truly believes you are his person and even though he never says it, Zoro knows full well that he needs you in his life

- and now, you looked at him so coldly, so sadly he could feel his heart shattering in his chest; all the months, years you two worked together to make things happen, it was all for nothing?

- he couldn’t believe it and he refused to believe it; the scowl returned to his face as he turned away from you, his attention turning back to what he was doing beforehand, awaiting your laughter and reassurance that everything was fine

- but everything wasn’t fine as you repeated yourself, reaffirming that you wanted a break from the relationship, a break from him

- his back was to you and you figured Zoro had already begun to shut you out, easily accepting your breakup; so you turned to leave, grabbing at your bags and heading towards the door; that was until a firm hand grasped at your wrist, making you turn around

- you turned around to see Zoro an absolute mess in front of you; the usual stoic and stern swordsman was visibly shaking, lips quivering, and eyes messy pools that leaked down his cheeks

- “I won’t let you walk away like this! Please, don’t leave me. I can’t do this without you.”

- you were taken aback as you had seen your boyfriend cry before, but nothing quite like this; he was begging for you to stay, and though he tried his hardest to remain strong, he couldn’t stop the cracking in his voice as he cried for you; it was truly heartbreaking to see him like this and you couldn’t help but break down in front of him as well

- you attempted to explain how you were so scared of your immense love for him and how a break would help you sort your feelings, but Zoro would hear none of it as in a state of sorrow and desperation, he couldn’t help but cling to you as you cried together in each other’s arms

- his hands were eager as they roamed your body, rougher in contrast to the sadness in his eyes as he kissed your skin tenderly; he undressed you with ease as he littered your bare skin with affections

- “Please, just stay with me. I won’t let you be scared of us again. I love you. I need you. Always. Please let me love you forever.”

- Zoro shamelessly pleaded for you over and over, embracing and loving your body all the while tears still cascaded down his face; you had been so worried, so terrified of loving Zoro too much, and yet Zoro was only terrified of losing you; you were a fool to think this couldn’t work

- it was a long, emotional night as you two got lost in each other, crying while reminding one another just what you loved and cherished in one another through passionate love-making

- it was the first time you had ever seen Zoro so emotional, soft, and vulnerable towards you, and with each loving touch and embrace, Zoro showed just what you meant to him and vowed to show you how much he loved you every day so you could see how he was just as crazy for you; there would be no more questioning, no more fears as he promised to love and protect your forever if you’d have him

Kid

“What did I do wrong?”

- the moment you come to him and say that you want to take a break, Kid is fuming, instantly argumentative

- all walls that he had spent breaking down for you are slowly beginning to build back up and he is pissed about it; he loves you and he doesn’t want to shut you out; he doesn’t say it enough but he never wants to lose you!

- why in the hell would you want to go on a break? he’s made himself vulnerable towards you, spent so many days and nights doing whatever it takes to keep you happy! you make him happy! since when was he not doing the same for you?

- is he not enough? is there someone else? do you not love him anymore?

- so many questions are rambling through his head that he can’t even think straight; he wants to kick and scream and hit something because he’s so upset right now; he hates not feeling in control of himself and at this moment he is collapsing right in front of you

- Kid is a very sensitive person, highly insecure though he tries his best not to show it; but the moment you try to end it with him, he can’t help but break down

- he yells at first, spitting false accusations, spilling guilt trips, blaming everything and everyone under the sun; nothing is making sense anymore but god the thought of losing you just makes him go crazy!

- then come the tears when he sees you not budging; he’s still screaming, not at you but more so at the situation, but the tears are evident as they roll down his pale face

- his body is shaking, and he’s near the point of emotional exhaustion after having that outburst; he’s still so mad, eyes clouded with agony, but he just wants to know why

- once the thunderstorm is over, Kid just reaches out to you, grasping for your touch, a reassurance that this is all just a horrible nightmare

- “Please, don’t do this to me. I need you. I really need you. Is this what you want to hear? What do I need to tell you to make things okay? I fucking love you! Is that not enough? What did I do wrong?”

- when you tell him your fears, the fact that you love him so much that it’s terrifying, and how you think a break would be best so you can sort your feelings…Kid doesn’t take that, and you should have expected as much from this stubborn man

- he rushes to you instantly, yanking your body close to his, and settling you down on the nearest surface; his stained lips are on yours, sloppy and desperate, his flesh hand roaming your entire body; he grabs your face to make you look at him

- “Like hell I’m just gonna let you go so easily. Don’t say stupid shit like that. I love you and you love me. Isn’t that all we need?”

- in heated passions, he undresses you fairly quickly, ripping and discarding your clothing without second thought as you let him; he needs to feel you, touch you, he needs to show you what you mean to him so you can forget your petty insecurities

- Kid has never been good with his words, he knows that, you know that, so he makes sure to show you with his actions by making sweet, passionate, intense love to you, reminding you over and over again how much you mean to him with every loving thrust

- there’s no room left for questioning as he holds you close and rocks into your body with a tenderness only you get to experience from him; Kid’s not a sappy guy but he would be anything for you, so he doesn’t hold back in whispering sweet nothings in your ear, reaffirming his feelings for you, begging to hear you say you love him back

- he needs to hear you say it; he’s too emotional to go without hearing you confirm that you do in fact love him and that you won’t ever leave his side; please just say it

- when all is said and done, he won’t allow you to be so insecure any more; he makes it a point to say/show how much he loves you just a little more every day so there’s no more questions

- he needs you after all; you’re supposed to be by his side when he becomes the Pirate King; no King is going to let his Queen escape so easily!

Crocodile

“You don’t mean that. Tell me you don’t mean it.”

- very disbelieving at first and is not amused if this is some sick joke; he can’t believe what he’s hearing and you can read it all over his face

- when you express to him that it’s not a joke, and you wish to have some distance from him….he can’t help but break down that calm and collected facade of his

- his voice unintentionally raises at this notion, he’s not quite yelling yet, but it’s obvious that what you’re saying has heavily upset him as his brows are furrowed and the scowl on his face has only sunken deeper

- Crocodile is an independent man and has little to no need of other people in his life except as pawns in his plans; but you, you’re the exception to all of it

- he’s given himself to you wholly, unconditionally, with no regrets; he’s chosen to make a life with you as his partner and he chooses to love you and only you every day

- and now all of a sudden you just want to throw it all away? he can’t let that happen, he won’t let that happen

- when you explain to him how insecure you’ve been feeling, how scared you are of your feelings for him, his heart drops into his stomach and his body begins to shake visibly

- when you tell him you want to leave for a bit to sort things out, he can’t help but bite his cigar in half, digging his nails into his thighs

- “You don’t mean that. Tell me you don’t mean it. Come here.”

- even in the midst of your breakdown, you still find yourself obliging to your lover as you approach him, a part of you wanting to touch him one last time before you leave

- “You’re scared because of how much you love me? Don’t you think I was terrified to fall in love with you too? And still, I choose you, only you, every single day, and I’ll choose only you for the rest of my life. I’m not going to allow you to throw this away, (Name). I love you, so much. And I know you love me. Let’s not waste that.”

- Crocodile pulls you into his lap to embrace you and soothe your insecurities; his big arms wrap around you without hesitation, his flesh hand petting at your hair

- he lets you cry into his shoulder though his heart is racing, awaiting you to tell him that you’ve changed your mind and that you won’t be leaving him; the wait to hear you say you love him is agonizing

- the moment you pull away to apologize, he responds rather quickly with connecting his lips to yours; it felt like years before you said anything so he wasn’t going to waste a second longer

- his lips are passionate and his thumb wipes at the tears that flow freely down your cheeks; he leaves kisses all along your face and neck, gentle affections that form as apologies for letting you worry so much

- Crocodile wastes no time in making love to you in his office chair, praises and endearments spilling from his mouth as he controls your movements and makes love to your body, making you feel like a truly loved and cherished woman

- he can’t help himself from getting just as emotional when you relocate to your shared bedroom, continuing your love-making session in your most sacred place; he chokes up a bit as he looks into your eyes and tries to imagine what would have happened if he hadn’t stopped you from leaving

- though he wouldn’t admit it out loud, Crocodile knew he was a better man because of you; no part of him wants to return to the lonely shell of a man he was before you came along

- and so, he made sure to never take your love for granted from here on out; insecurities come and go, but the love between you and Crocodile would remain forever

600 notes · View notes

popculturebuffet · 4 years

Text

The Casagrandes Reviews: Operation Dad

In my first look at The Casagrandes, We meet Ronnie Anne and Bobby’s dad Arturo as Ronnie tries to get him to start working in the city to be closer to them.. and when a genuine honest appeal dosen’t work, shenanigans will have to do. Dad stuff under the cut.

This is one i’ve had in the works since my labor day catchup binge of shows, but kept getting pushed back either due to regular coverage or specifically timed things like the bi visalblity day review of “What Was Missing. And with Halloween next month, my time to cover this is running out a bit and I feel it’s a great place to start covering this show so, pitter patter. The Casagrandes didn’t really hook me in at first: It did have two things going for it: An intresting premise A blended family coming together, with our heroine and her big bro being fish out of water in a new family situation. Wheras with the Loud House Lincoln, and by extension most of his sisters, is used to how his house runs, knows the score and knows how to manuvre around it, Ronnie Anne was being dropped into a new situation, with people she KNEW, but only likely from seeing them breifly. It’s one thing to see your cousin once or twice a year, as I did with mine at that age, it’s another to live with them. It had a lot of potential. The other thing was Bobby Santiago, Ronnie Anne’s brother, and one of my faviorite characters across both shows, an endlessly nice guy who while suffering from a terminal case of dumbass, is utterly likeable, helped by his VA Carlos PenaVega, with the spinoff and i’ts build up only fleshing him out more by giving him his job at the Mercado, and showing he has serious buisness acumen in addition to his many other talents.

But what made me wary was the lead: Ronnie Anne didn’t get the best intro on the loud house. You know this, I know this. We all know this. No sense beating around the bush: She was a bully, who had a crush on lincoln and masked it by pummeling him. And this was seen as okay by the show which isn’t as suprising in hindsight as Chris Savino clearly has messed up views about women and harassment, and is thankfully no longer part of this. She did get slightly better once she actually showed up, getting genuine chemstiry with Lincoln and being shown underneath the bully exteriror was a pretty nice kid who shared his intress. Granted it wasn’t perfect as the show madei t clear he was terrified of her, but it did at least also make it clear he no longer had a reason to be, and while she’d prank her boyfriend, or assits his sister during her dark time once a year in doing it, and if your wondering if i’m ever going to watch or cover the april fools episodes .. yeah i’m just waiting you know.. for april fools.

My point is it was kinda mixed and their solution was to soften her up a bit but also act like she and LIncoln weren’t intrested in each other all of a sudden instead of you know, dealing with her past actions and having her make up for them. It was sloppy is what i’m saying and the character while not bad wasn’t in the best positoin to tkae the reigns of her own show. They did add some intresting depth with the move though, showing that Ronnie Anne and Bobby were often on their own, and that Maria moved them to the casagrande household simply because she felt her daughter would be happier NOT having to be the strong one or take care of herself all the time and actually have someone look out for her instead. It was a good emotional reason for hte move and both casagrandes showed up ocasoinally, mostly Bobbi whose still with Lori to this day as seen in the season 5 premiere. It was an okay foundatoin but it would depend on what they did with her character.. and i’m glad to say.. they made it work. The show still has rough edges, mostly having the same problem ducktales and the loud house itself had during season 1 of juggling such a large cast: Most of them outside of Ronnie Anen and Bobby have only gotten 1 episode, and even then CJ feels underutlized despite being amazing, while the adults outside the grandparents feel underutlized. Buuut the show is funny, intresting, has good pacing and unlike the loud house, having already learned that lesson, while Ronnie Anne does get more episodes than the rest of the family, it does feel more like an ensemble show and the focus on her feels less like the show not knowing what it has and more like easing the viewers into the rest of the cast by using her as a viewpoint. Ronnie herself is better, the bully aspects gone. She can still take care of herself, and is still fairly indpentent and clever, but she’s got a sharp sense of humor and a clear love of her family and the fish out of water aspect I hoped for, while not used a ton, still comes up in intresting ways. Overall i’d say the show is off to a good start.. and it has Melissa Joan Heart and Ken Jeong as a married couple and let’s Ken play a diffrent role for once: A dorky, kind dad instaed of any degree of lunatic. That being said given his character her’s last name is Chang, I can’t help but think this and community are in the same universe and that the Changs have just had to put up with whatever insane phase Senor Chang was going througha t the time every time he visted. I mean i’d love to hear Sid tell ronnie anne the time her uncle came over in a napoleon outfit and revaled he’d taken over his community college with the help of a bunch of children. But i’m getting off topic, I gots an episdoe to cover and out of the ones I watched this felt both like a great re-introduction into the cast and was easily one fo the best with a great emotional core and great jokes and LOTS to dig into. So i’ve jawjacked enough, pitter pater. Again!

It’s with this episode we properly meet Arturo Santiago, Ronnie Anne and Bobby’s father, Maria’s ex, and owner of one hell of a beard. Ronnie mentioned him back in friended aka the pilot because fuck that airing structure but not the time or place for that moving on.

We see he video chats his daughter once a day, though today she made hte mistake of doing so on a crowded subway while with her best friend and future wife Sid. NOW we can talk about Sid. Sid was introduced in Friended! over on the loud houd house as part of that mini arc I keep yelling about and will again and again. Sid is Ronnie Anne’s clyde: A best friend whose there as her sidekick, emotoinal support and resident goofus, being a bit of a weirdo and given i’m a giant ass weirdo, you can see why I like her/want to keep her safe from the nightmare that is at last half this fandom. Plus she and ronnie anne are adorable together and have more chemstiry than she and lincoln did.. thoguh the two do have OT3 energy together in his one episode, but that’s for another time.

Anyways as Sid helps her rangle wifi by them by doing the mecha shiva we soon find out Arturo is coming home! Home lord he’s been off in Peru for too longggg. Point is Ronnie Anne is excited, Bobby is excited, everyone’s excited except for Hector who hates him.. and honestly I can see why the contrast. For everyone else, Arturo is a charming, friendly guy who genuinely loves his kids and only is away from them because he has a lot of important work to do and even with that is still an active part of their lives. Buuuut Hector likely sees it diffrently and is likely homing in more on the fact Arturo is barely there in person for his kids and left Maria to do all the raising them by herself, with her own demanding job. It’s not a black and white situation is what i’m saying and.. I genuinely love that. It’s a complex thing to deal with: A parent who isn’t there for his kids but it’s hard to say if he’s being selfish or not. He’s not david from roseanne doing this so he can feel good about not wanting to deal with being a father or the death of his brother, Arturo genuinely just wants to help those who need him, even if he has to sacrifice a lot to do it. Ronnie Anne naturally wants him to move here though and convince him during his visit, and her plan nicely shows off the duality of her charcter: She’s clever and can easily think things through, as his originzation has it’s home office in Great Lakes City so he could still help those in need, just more from the organizational end, as well as i’m assuming GLC’s own homeless and needy. But she also has an 11 year olds understading of complex issues and thus thinks the easiest way to convince him is to take him on a fun daddy daughter day that will make him love the city. Bobby is less optimistic about the plan though.. and that’s because he’s been through this with Arturo already. Granted his job for him was at weenier on a stick because it’s bobby, the boy is a peach of a human being but has the plkanning skills and common sense of a basset hound on qualudes. He just sugest she enjoy the time. And this says a lot about BOBBY too: He’s used to his dad being out of his life, he’s probably been gone for most of it and while he loves him, he’s had ot get used to the fact he’s probably never going to be regularly in his life and while he understands why his sister’s trying this he wants to spare her the pain he went through. It’s interactions like this that to me show the series at it’s best and what it could be: deeper character interactions that really let the characters and voice cast shine, that still mix well with the usual nonsense. Arturo arrives and everyone loves him.. and again it’s easy to see why: he’s kind, friendly and to the kids, he’s their cool uncle who lives in another country and as someone with one of those, It does feel neat. Hell he was my cool uncle when he just lived in chicago or seattle, but somehow he had to top those by moving to fricking ireland. So I get where they come from and really relate to it.. I mean I met mine in high school, my family tree is complicated, but still. So while everyone but Hector is happily remeetinmg their uncle Maria shows up. And it’s awkward, the two not knowing how to greet each other, but it’s very obvious Maria and Arturo are on good terms, it’s just hard when theres so much history there. Speaking of Maria let’s talk about her since this is one of her only scene’s this episode. Maria is one of my faviorites. She isn’t used a ton, but this is more excusable than it is with the Casagrande parents, as the whole point of Maria uprooting her kids to Great Lakes City was to give them company and someone to take care of them while Maria worked the long and varied hours of being a nurse. She’s a good parent, who just picked a rough career, and made the hard decision to uproot her kids, not for her sake, as it can’t be easy living with both your elderly parents, your sister and her husband not to mention 5 kids, a giant adorable pupper and an obnoxious parrot, but so they’d be happy.. which given Ronnie Anne went from having no friends and largely having to be the rock in the house, to having a sizeable friend group plus her cousins, as well as generally being happy while Bobby went from bouncing from job to job to running the family buisness and planning to expand it when he gets older. She’s a good gentle person who still makes time for her kids, and I wish we saw more of her with her spotlight episode, which was about Ronnie Anne trying to spend more time with her, being one of my faviorites so far. I also like the fact that for once in a cartoon a parent with a time sink of a career isn’t demonized for trying to put food on the table and rather than just quit or have a mean boss or the usual cliches, Maria just found a way her kids wouldn’t be alone. She’s awesome. Ronnie Anne first tries showing him how great the city is with home cooking and a warm bed, but the first while nice is something he still gets, and the latter in a nice touch is just.. too soft for him. Ronnie meant well, but understadably he’s just not used to it and makes a cot under the stars instead.. he’s not trying to be ungreatful, he’s just sued to it.

Anyways Ronnie indeed takes him on a montage, with some cab headbonks beacause why use an uber that’s cheeper and safer huh? Anyways our father and daughter do have a montage, and hector gets beaten up by a luchadore because this promotion apparently dosen’t get not to attack the crowd. They really need to stop booking that guy.

Ending on our article image, which is really sweet and a real beautiful shot, Ronnie Anne finally gets to her Ronnie Plan. First Arturo cycles through two diffrent assumptions about what she’s asking him about. He first thinks she’s about to tell him about a special boy or girl in his life, his exact words. He backspaces to include that. She says no which.. I guess okay you have other things in mind but you can’t put off him meeting Sid forever. That aside I do think it’s a good indication Ronnie Anne might be bi, and both her parents just easily accepted it which is great. I could be reading too much into this, and I probably am, but I’ve thought I was before on nickeodeon and look how legend of korra ended.

The next is just hilarious as Arturo tries to let her down gently that he’s not getting back with maria which Ronnie Anne agrees with and was not remotely her point, but I do like as it shows their well and truly done, and it’s nice to see that sort of dynamic with a divorced couple in fiction where it’s not because of lingering sexual tension or anything, just that their apart but have kids to think about and presumibly the split was amicable if again still awkward. Finally Ronnie asks him.. but he gently refuses, since the people he helped need him as much as he wants to stay.. but part of what makes Arturo likeable, especially since he’s in the REALLY throny situation of not being in his kid’s lives in person despite having the opprountiy now, is that he genuinely tries to compromoise, saying he’ll try to up the calls to two a day, and he’ll visit more often. Ronnie Anne sadly and half heartdly says it’s fine and walks off. So Ronnie Anne vents to that girlfriend she apparently dosen’t have that he cares more about her patients than him and Sid sidgests that part of that is simple: He dosen’t feel she and bobby need him since, as I pointed out earlier, their doing better than ever. So Ronnie Anne intitates a second Ronnie Plan: to convince him she’s a troubled youth and get him to stay and reasssmbles her cousins to help. Before we move onto this plan that’s totally a good idea and not a borderline Zach Morris evil scheme, let’s talk about those cousins real quick. Quick fire: CJ is really great, a sweet kid and I wish they’d use him more and generally do nto get why they don’t, Carlota is fine but not all that defined at this point but Alexa PenaVega tries.. and why yes it is kinda weird Carlos PenaVega’s wife and the former star of spy kids is playing his sister. And Carl.. I don’t likes him. I just don’t. He did give me a really good episode, which we’ll be covering next month, but he’s just a little asshole with out the charm of fellow little asshole Louie Duck, who alsos cams people but actually gets consqeunces more often.

That quickfire done Carl does a forgery which depsite me being eh on him, clearly, is a funny bit, to make Ronnie Anne look like she’s failing, but that fails as you’d expect when he can help her with that from Peru. So it’s on to the actual plan: Which really boils down to this.

I mean.. that’s essentially the plan convince him she’s running with a dangerous crowd and is breaking bad, dressing up in punk clothes and making a scene at breakfast. She also gets a really neat new haircut, similar to luna’s but spiky which.. why isn’t this her normal hair? and why dosen’t she at least keep the cool leather jacket? I always get annoyed when a character’s temporary costume change is even better than their default design and htey fail to realize it but whatever. IT starts to work a little but clearly a breakfast tauntrum won’t be enough so Ronnie Anne enlists Sid.. who is frightend,d osen’t recognize her and dosen’t want to get shoved into a locker. .. who hurt you.. tell me.. I have a box to deliver. Just let me pop a quick H on there real quick.

Anyways, once Sid realizes “Oh that’s not a bully come to shove me in a locker that’s just my girlfriend in the middle of a zack morris grade elabroate manipulative scheme”, which happens once a week their fine, she comes up with one last plan: Have her friends, who are neat but need more filling out, dress up like punks bullying her friend sameer. This plan.. makes no sense. For one she was already a bully back home.. granted it was because she liked the kid, which no just no, but it’s heavily implied she did the same to the rest of the lincrew too. .which aside from Rusty isn’t a good look. I mean his face is punchable and he mocked hte idea of them being together despite next season hitting on Lincoln’s sisters, there’s a 1:1 chance he hit on her and she shoved him in a locker as is the natural response to anyone getting asked out by that goober. No matter how hard the show tries to pretend that didn’t happen it did. If her bullying kids didn’t get him to move home back in royal woods it won’t work now.

So they had behind the fish market for their plan, Arturo is directed there.. and sees through it. I mean she’s probably sent him pictures of her friends, he knows who they are and no amount of costumes is going to fix that. I mean you really only changed Nikki’s hair. Why not just have a dance fight. i’m legitly asking dance fights are rad and this reminds me of the venture bros episode where hank, to impress his date, has billy and white pretend to be a street gang to impress his date. Just do that for sid instead of trying to gaslight your dad into staying. But no while he pulls her into the car, Arturo knows this was a stunt and asks why. When Ronnie Anne tearfully reveals she just wanted him to stay.. he hugs his child.. and agrees. He realizes that if she’s willing to go to these lengths to get him to stay, she must REALLY miss her papa. So he plans to call the office to transfer. But then while helping her dad unpack, Ronnie Anne finds something and we get another emotional scene: Ronnie Anne finds the letters he got from the various kids he’s helped, and is moved to tears. Props to Izabella Alvarez for her performance here as she reads the letter and realizes just what her dad’s work does ,and why it means so much to him. He truly helps those who need it and she decides she can’t take that awy from it: Sure her dad won’t be around.. but other kids need her dad more. She has a big family, she misses her dad.. but she can live without her dad. They need a doctor.

So Arutro heads out with a tearful goodbye and Ronnie Anne leaves him a scrapbook of their time together. We then cut to the Santiago sibs playing cards, and being sad about their dad and all that.. when Arturo calls.. and then shows up in person. He took the Headquarters job after all, though a close friend of his we met earlier in the episode but I ddin’t mention will be taking over in Peru, and from earlier clearly wanted to get back out in the field, so it all works out. And it’s a nice character moment; Arturo realizes while his work is important, and as mentioned he does make sure a compient replacment will continue it.. his family can be too and it’s okay to think of himself and them for once. As I said he’ll still be able to help just in a diffrent way and there are probably needy kids who need him here too, if not in the same ways obviously as a doctors without borders type project. So eveyrone shares a group hug and even Hector bursts into tears. And Maria comes in wondering what she missed whiel Sergio asks who wants to tell her. oh sergio.. why didn’t you stay away when you ran away in a future episode. Final Thoughts: Not much more to say. It’s a well done episode with high emotinal stakes, great acting and some great jokes I didn’t get to, and while the plot of “Make absent parent stay by pretending things are bad’ isn’t new, it’s done well enough here. Overall just a really good episode that shows what this show can do and why it’s unique family setup makes for intresting stories a lot of shows can’t tell, and validates this spinoffs existnace. The episode also really fleshes out Ronnie Anne’s character, and givne Arutro’s been gone since the divorce if not longer, it’s resonable to supsect her earlier bullying might have been lashing out at her parents divorce. It’s just good stuff. Keep an eye peeeld to this blog for my regular loud house and ducktales coverage , and some more casagrandes this october. ANd until then, Go Team Venture!

#the casagrandes #ronnie anne santiago #arturo santiago #bobby santiago #maria santiago #sid chang #cj casagrande #carl casagrande #carlota casagrande #the loud house #reviews #animation

14 notes · View notes

letmeouttathischeapbmovie · 5 years

Text

A Substitute For Your Love

Freddie Mercury x male!reader, modern AU, word count approx. 1.6k, fluff, pining, songfic (kinda)

*shows up a month and a half late with Starbucks* hey.

Everyone thank @queens-n-roses for hosting this challenge (congrats on the now over 3k followers!) and for putting up with my lateness. This one’s based on Heaven’s Gate by Fall Out Boy, a song that meant a lot to me when it first came out, and my friend told me to imagine Freddie singing it. So *glares in his direction* enjoy I guess?

Also feel free to read this even if you’re not a dude, just remember that the character in the fic is male or male-aligned. Also also! You can imagine pretty much any era of Freddie you want, but the image in my head was 77-78 like in the gif because let’s be real, NOTW!Freddie could Get It.

“Freddie?” you called over as you heard your record player kick abruptly to life from the next room, Pete Wentz’ bass thumping a little lower and slower than you were accustomed to. “Freddie what the hell are you messing with my stereo for?”

You really couldn’t be mad at him, just in general, but especially when you turned the corner to see him practically glowing from excitement and the soft light of the room.

“Y/N, darling, what’s the point of having all these records on vinyl if you don’t fuck with the tempo?”

You knew it was just a term of endearment he used for everyone, but something fluttered in your chest every time he followed up your name with ‘darling’. “The point is the better sound quality, you fiend.”

“Fucking hipster.” You stuck your tongue out at him for that, a gesture which he reciprocated. He was so adorable sometimes that it hurt, lean and lanky without looking at all awkward somehow. As Freddie flicked his tongue back into his mouth, you got a full view of his buck teeth and were filled with a rush of affection. That was a normal reaction, right? It’s not weird to feel a burst of warmth and love whenever you see your friend’s smile, especially since you know he’s insecure as all hell about it, is it?

“You’ve really never messed with the tempo of any of your records?” He cocked his head to the side as he asked.

“Of course not, Freddie, I’m not a child.”

“Well then my dear, you are missing out,” Freddie beamed as he stepped over to the record player and picked up the needle, fiddling about for a second before setting it back down.

One look from you…

You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up from your chest at Patrick’s distorted voice, the slower tempo and deeper pitch making the bends in his tone impossibly wider. When you looked back up at Freddie, he was smiling mischievously and opening his arms to you.

“Really Fred?”

And I’m on that faded love…

You rolled your eyes, but took a step closer and laid your hands on his biceps, arms resting atop his. His hands found his way to your ribcage, and you startled momentarily at their warmth.

Out of my body…

You hoped he wouldn’t be able to feel your heartbeat through his hands, but you were sure there was no way that couldn’t happen. At this point you’d be lucky if he couldn’t hear it.

And flying above…

His fingers tapped along to the beat, as if he were trying to map out the notes on a piano. It was dreadfully endearing, like everything else he did.

If there were any more left of me…

You weren’t surprised that you still had a crush on him. He’d been your best friend for over a year, and he was both friendly and devilishly attractive.

I’d give it to you…

Nope. Not surprised at all. Just supremely disappointed in yourself.

And I’ll tell you that I am fine, but I am a missile that’s guided for you…

You couldn’t ever be more than friends with Freddie. There was no way. He was so far out of your league, gorgeous and talented and sweet and you felt like you could barely even breathe in front of him.

Go out in the world, start over again and again as many times as you can…

“Are you alright, darling?”

You noticed that you were still holding fairly still, despite holding onto him. Perhaps because you were holding onto him. You really didn’t trust yourself not to act like a complete fool when Freddie was that close.

“Y/N, we don’t have to do this. I thought you would like it, but if I was wrong-”

“You’re fine, Freddie. I’m fine,” you blurted out a little too quickly. You couldn’t risk him letting go of you so soon.

And in the end if I don’t make it on the list would you sneak me a wristband…

You knew you’d never get anything better than this, just innocently dancing with him. It would be a crime to deny yourself that affection when Freddie offered it, no matter how much it hurt to think about.

Or would you give me?

Why did it even have to hurt?

Give me?

Would it be so hard to let go of that pain for a few minutes and just- be with him?

Give me?

Maybe just this once...

Give me a boost, a boost over heaven’s gate?

Pushing aside your better judgement, you leaned your head into his chest and smiled when you both heard and felt his gentle gasp. It was perfect. Freddie was perfect.

Give me a boost over heaven’s gate…

You let your hands creep up from his biceps to rest on his broad shoulders, leaving your cheek pressed to his sternum. You could feel the thick carpet of chest hair through his t-shirt, muffling slightly the warmth of his body and the steady kick of his heartbeat.

I’m gonna need a boost…

Or was the heartbeat yours? Possibly. If it was his, then, you must have just imagined how quick and shallow it was.

Right?

Cause everything else is a substitute for your love…

Freddie’s hands drifted from your ribcage to your waist, then finally found each other and linked at the small of your back. It was the safest you’d ever felt, wrapped up in him so completely.

Give me a boost…

Yeah, you could just take a few minutes to imagine you were more than friends with him. It was too hard to resist, besides, he didn't have to know.

A boost over heaven’s gate…

You were barely moving of your own accord, just leaning against him so heavily that as he swayed, you shifted with him.

I got dreams of my own…

As much as you wanted to stay pressed to his chest forever, you could swear you felt his burning gaze on the top of your head.

But I want to make yours come true so please come through…

Here with your face covered and your eyes closed, it was safe to dream about his eyes: those sweet stars of mahogany that glowed like amber when the light hit them right.

Honey please, please come through…

Sure, you could have looked up to see whether he was actually staring at you, but what was the use? He obviously wasn't. There were a hundred better things to look at just in this room. At least this way you could pretend you were one of them.

Out in the world, start over again and again as many times as you can…

Almost instinctively, you found your hands creeping past his shoulders to now link together, resting on the bare skin of his neck. Maybe it was risky. You couldn't bring yourself to care just yet.

And in the end if I don’t make it on the list would you sneak me a wristband…

His arms tightened around your waist. That had to mean something, right? No. You refused to get your hopes up only to be let down later.

Give me a boost, a boost over heaven’s gate…

You were just friends. If he implied anything more you must have imagined it.

Give me a boost over heaven’s gate…

The same way you definitely imagined his pleased sigh and the gentle stroke of his thumb over your back.

I’m gonna need a boost cause everything else is a substitute for your love…

Wait, what?

Give me a boost over heaven’s gate…

You had both just about stopped swaying by now, more stuck in a prolonged hug than any semblance of a dance. His presence both calmed and terrified you.

You’re the one habit I just can’t kick…

With your head still buried in his chest, you felt more than heard his voice rumbling along with the song.

You’re the one habit I just can’t kick…

Freddie seemed almost distracted, his usually clear voice coming out mumbled, almost slurred before trailing off.

You’re the one habit I just can’t kick…

“Y/N?”

You’re the one habit I just can’t kick…

His hands twitched at your back. Dangerous as it may be to your heart, you wanted nothing more than to take them in yours.

“Yes Freddie?”

You’re the one, you’re the one

“I didn't pick this album or this song by accident.”

You’re the one, you’re the one

His breath caught in his throat.

“And it's not just because I know you're gay for Patrick's voice either, love. Though I can't exactly blame you in that regard.”

You’re the one habit I just can’t kick…

“I picked it because it's true, Y/N. You're the one man I've never been able to get over, no matter how long or hard I've tried.”

Give me a boost, a boost over heaven’s gate…

You blushed and sputtered out the first thing that came to mind. “Was that a dick joke?”

Freddie smiled, but the gesture didn't reach his eyes. “Perhaps.”

Give me a boost over heaven’s gate…

He sighed quietly and tapped his hands on your waist, pulling away slightly. “I'm sorry. I know you only think of me as a friend, but I needed to say something and besides, you deserve to know.”

I’m gonna need a boost cause everything else is a substitute for your love…

“You can just forget I ever-”

You cut him off with a kiss, letting both your hands drift from his neck to cup his jaws.

Give me a boost over heaven’s gate…

Freddie gasped, freezing for a second before melting into the kiss. He pulled your body to his, pressing your chests together and smiling, breaking the kiss without moving away.

“Darling,” he whispered against your lips, “I should fuck with your stereo more often.”

“Don't you dare,” you scolded before kissing him again.

Give me a boost...

#qnr2kchallenge #again everybody say thank you zoe #say thank you to ringo too #(not the drummer. just a random guy i know that i call ringo bc reasons)#fanfic #queen x reader #freddie mercury x reader #this may or may not be my last reader insert idk?#if y'all want more i'll consider it but maybe make a separate blog for fics

26 notes · View notes

matrixaffiliate · 5 years

Text

A Twist of Fate

Co-written with @hufflepuffmarlenemckinnon

FFN and AO3

Chapter 12

It had been dark out for quite a while. Sirius thought everyone had fallen asleep. It was fairly pitiful to sleep on the floor of a ship, but it wasn't as bad as being eaten by a Minotaur which was also part of the usual routine with these things. So no one really took issue with the floor.

He'd been trying and failing to sleep when he heard his cellmate gasping, afraid. He opened his eyes and got his bearings on his surroundings while his eyes adjusted to the near total darkness. Marlene slept near the wall and she looked like she was still asleep but restless and in pain. He hoped that whatever horrible dream she was having was not prophetic.

He couldn't bring himself to let her continue suffering. He cringed at himself and his horrible growing attachment. He didn't want to care so damned much about how she felt or what she thought, but he was powerless to stop.

He approached her very quietly and knelt down by her side.

"Marlene," he whispered. She didn't wake. He cursed his stupid heart as he reached out and touched her shoulder to get her attention. "Marlene wake up. You're having a nightmare," he raised the volume of his voice just a fraction.

She gasped sharply one last time as she opened her eyes. Those blue eyes that had turned him into a bumbling idiot who sometimes walks into poles looked right at him in shock.

"Oh. Sirius. Did I… did I wake you or...?" She pushed up to sitting pulling her cloak tightly around her. "I'm sorry. You can go back to sleep now."

"You didn't wake me. I woke you." He huffed as he ignored his better judgment and sat next to her. "I was awake, and I was not keen on letting you suffer in your sleep."

"Oh," her voice was soft, but he could hear her confusion. "Well, I, thank you. I'll be alright, now."

"You don't seem alright, Marlene." Sirius cursed himself. He was powerless to stop his downward spiral with this woman now that he'd let himself start caring. "Do you want to talk about it? I am… capable of listening… I'll have you know." He added the last part with a forced laugh, trying to remove any of the tension that he could.

"You," she chuckled and pushed her head back into the wall behind her, "Really?"

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear the shock in your voice." Sirius couldn't help but smile. Everything about her endeared her all the more to him, even her poor judgments of his character. "Really. Is it the impending doom or something else?" Sirius tried to get more comfortable on the floor, but only managed to scoot closer to Marlene.

"It's," she closed her eyes a moment. "Maybe it would be easier if I am doomed." She shook her head and gave a hollow sounding laugh. "I don't want to die, and you can rest assured that I'll do everything I can to avoid it. It's just," she pressed a palm to her forehead. "I have no idea how I'm going to proceed with my life if I am indeed alive at the end of this."

"Oh?" Sirius tried to sound casual, "I thought you had some sort of destiny in store?"

"Destiny," Marlene spat. "Lately the word makes my stomach turn. My mother only tells me how important it is that I find my destiny and is seldom any help to me in clarifying what exactly that is. My father thinks the answer is to leave it all behind, but it's hard to know if becoming mortal will really solve my problems or make them worse. I don't want to be reviled by everyone around me and also bitter about losing a large part of who I am."

"Why would you be reviled? I don't understand." Sirius stared at her with a furrowed brow. How could anyone not find this woman captivating?

"You don't understand." She said it slowly, holding out each word, before she laughed bitterly. "Of course. Because you're one of only a handful of people who don't fear me because of the who I am. Dreadful Daughter of Fate, as the captain addresses me, is an identity I've carried my whole life. Even as a small child I was feared. Being the daughter of Moira comes with all the tales of the terrified. You're also one of the most oblivious people I've ever had instance to meet. So you didn't notice, you don't notice, you don't allow my mother or my powers to frighten or intimidate you." She turned to look at him. "That has actually been a welcome change from the norm, so thank you."

"For being oblivious?" Sirius chuckled nervously. "Sure… uh… anytime."

"My father and mother both mean well," Marlene continued after a quiet moment. "But neither of them really understand what it's like to have a foot in both worlds and be looked upon with suspicions on both sides."

"I'm sorry… suspicion? That's bizarre. Do any of these people bother to pay attention at all?" Sirius felt blindsided by all this. She'd called him oblivious, but he was fairly certain it was everyone else who was oblivious in this instance. "You're actually pretty astoundingly un-dreadful … or is it dreadless? Can something be dreadless? Sorry… uh… whatever... you lack the qualities which inspire dread." Sirius was glad that it was dark because he could feel his face burning. But he couldn't help but feel grateful for his own idiocy, because Marlene's soft laughter was like music to his ears.

"Sirius, what changed?" She looked up at him. "You've been horribly annoying and childish, going so far on occasion to be spiteful against me. Yet here you sit, listening to my problems as though you are my friend?"

"Perhaps you've grown on me." He whispered quietly before mentally smacking himself. But the damage was done so he plowed on. "Or perhaps I'm just not as terrible a person as you thought. I know there are similarities but I'm not my father. I'm fun at parties and I'm terrible at making plans, but I'm not entirely callous and hedonistic."

"I'm sorry." She looked distraught as she said it. "You're right. I've assumed too much about you just based on your father. I've done to you exactly what everyone has done to me and I have no excuse. You aren't him. I should have approached you that way from the outset." Then she chuckled. "For one thing, you can only turn into a dog."

"Rude!" Sirius couldn't stop the laugh that escaped him. "I thought you were of the opinion that I'm a charming dog?"

"I am." She rested her head on his shoulder and Sirius' stomach did a flip. "I was teasing. You're a very adorable dog and I will not even pretend otherwise."

Sirius attempted to keep the tremor from his voice as he tried to work his way out of this with humor. "That implies that I'm less adorable when I'm a person, therefore I am horribly wounded."

"Only very slightly less adorable," He could practically hear the soft smile in her voice.

He had expected that she would continue joking at his expense. Her actual response had pushed him to the very peak of embarrassment. If she hadn't been promised to another man he'd have jumped on board with flirting and innuendo. He was the son of bloody Dionysus. He could have been exceedingly charming, if he had been in a position to try. But it was probably also a disadvantage that she wasn't just anyone he'd met in passing at some party. He was, despite every attempt to deny it, falling fast in love with this woman. So it may well have been that he'd be rendered a blundering mess with words even if she'd been unattached.

After what was probably way too long a pause, he opened his mouth and mumbled "I um… better go get some sleep…big day tomorrow."

He started to make a move to get up, but she stopped him by grabbing his hand. He felt his heart drop to his stomach. The whole thing felt like a very strange sort of torture.

"Please stay." Her voice was small and there was an edge of panic in it that pulled at his heart. "I don't want to be alone. I'm really glad I'm not doing any of this alone."

He sighed and accepted that he was probably going to die from the horrible aching in his chest before the Minotaur got to him, but he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Yeah, me too."

Without any further words, he pushed the two of them out from against the wall, and lay back on the floor, with Marlene's head on his chest.

He wanted to kiss her with every fiber of his being. It was near torturous to restrain himself. Ultimately he decided that since she'd kissed the top of his head (though he'd been a dog at the time) it wouldn't be too horrible to offer her the same affection. It could be written off as a comforting gesture… surely?

He'd been certain that he wouldn't sleep at all with the woman who was stressing his heart lying against him, but somehow he found himself drifting off as he listened to Marlene's breaths becoming slow and even.

#blackinnon #blackinnon fanfiction #sirius x marlene #sirius black x marlene mckinnon #sirius black #marlene mckinnon #GreekMythologyAU #GreekAU #annoyances to lovers #pining #laughingatZeus'expense #still laughing at the antics of the Greek gods #we're off to kill the Minotaur

3 notes · View notes

ladylynse · 6 years

Text

Snapshots: Phantom never changed, even though everything--everyone--else did. Even Dani. Especially Dani. Danny didn’t realize what that meant until later. AU [FF | AO3]

Based off this post featuring @ghostgabber’s AU where Danny’s human half ages but his ghost half doesn’t; for @faiasakura and Phanniemay 2018 Day 24. Eventual character death. (This was getting long, so I’m going to split it into two parts.)

It was a moment of time frozen forever, but Danny didn’t realize that at first.

The changes were gradual; though his parents joked about it, he really didn’t shoot up overnight, and it took time for him to fill out his scrawny frame. He couldn’t hear the changes in his voice, and it’s not like he tried to grow out his hair or grow a beard. (The less he looked like Vlad, the better.) His face eventually lost the boyishness of youth, and he was unmistakably a young man.

But Phantom never changed.

It was embarrassing at first, especially with Sam and Tucker and Jazz teasing him about it relentlessly. Geez, Danny, you could give the little match girl a run for her money. He’d thought his ghost form would change with him. You’re shorter than me and you know it; you’re my little brother. He’d seen the other ghosts change their forms over the years; why did his stay the same? Oh, man, you look so puny!

Look young though he did, his powers grew. He honed his skills, and any ghost who knew his reputation didn’t cross him. Some of them seemed to pop up and attack for old time’s sake—Skulker and the Box Ghost being the most frequent—but he became friends with most of them. Johnny 13 would let him help fix his motorcycle (Danny still wasn’t sure whether it had ever actually broken if it was just a peace offering, but he wasn’t complaining), and Ember actually invited him to one of the concerts she held in the Ghost Zone.

Danny’s grades had never been good enough for him to get into the space program, and despite his parents expressing their support for him to pursue whatever he wanted, he chose to stay in Amity Park after high school instead of applying to college. He’d wanted to assure himself that the town wouldn’t be overrun in his absence. Sam and Tucker had been reluctant to leave him on his own, but Tucker had been offered a great scholarship to MIT, and Sam wouldn’t have been happy staying under her parents’ roof any longer. Even Valerie left, though judging by her visits home, she monitored the news from her hometown closely.

So instead of seeking higher education, Danny officially took up the family business. With Jazz off at university, he could no longer depend on her to monitor their parents’ inventions. And by working more closely with them, he got a better idea of their views. They still had no love for Phantom, but they were eventually willing to (begrudgingly) admit that Phantom did a good job protecting the town.

It was a start.

It made him think he’d be able to tell them, eventually.

When it became clear that Phantom wasn’t physically changing to match Fenton, Danny used that to his advantage. They didn’t resemble each other as much as they once had, and the fact that they didn’t was seemingly further proof that there was no connection between them whatsoever. Not that anyone had really been looking. Not that he’d known of, at least. But if anyone had, now it could be laughed off as a strange coincidence, not used as potential evidence of what should be an impossibility.

If the Guys in White were still sniffing around, they hadn’t shown their faces in years. Danny rather hoped that their department’s funding had been cut and the program was now defunct, but he wasn’t going to get sloppy because of that assumption. He couldn’t afford to. It was better if next to no one knew his secret. It was still safer. For him. For his friends. For Dani.

The first time he realized the changes—or lack thereof—weren’t simply physical was during one of Dani’s visits, actually. He’d been twenty at the time and over at Sam’s to escape some of the Christmas-y-ness of his own house and to visit with her and Tucker while they were home for the holidays. Dani had dropped by with Youngblood to remind him where everyone was gathering for the Christmas Truce.

Sam and Tucker had thought she’d come alone.

No one had corrected them, and that had been the beginning.

“Maybe you just need to get out of this town,” Dani said as they flew over Amity Park. “Travel the world. Actually see something. Maybe that’ll jumpstart whatever’s not developing.”

Danny huffed. As Phantom, he still looked like he was fourteen. Dani, on the other hand, looked twice his age and barely resembled the scrappy twelve year old she’d once been, no matter what form she took.

It wasn’t fair.

She was a clone.

He shouldn’t have to be stuck looking like snot-nosed kid when he was in his thirties.

“I’m serious,” she said. “Tell your parents you want to see about expanding their company. Use Vlad as an excuse if you have to. I can hang around here for a while if that’ll make you feel better, but I doubt any of the ghosts are going to break your truce.”

She had a point. It had taken years of negotiations—begun, of course, during the Christmas Truce, when he could hold a decent conversation without trading shots—but he’d worked out a system, more or less. If the ghosts didn’t harm anyone when they came, he’d allow them to visit without interfering.

The Box Ghost still made a mess of things, but he was no more terrifying than usual. Johnny 13 and Kitty became regular visitors, along with Wulf and Dora and occasionally Youngblood and Klemper. Poindexter had even dropped by on occasion. Ember was limited to one concert in the Real World per tour, but Technus was free to scavenge for recycled or abandoned electronics as long as he did all his compilations in the Ghost Zone. (Danny was pretty sure he was still planning world domination, but a strategic comment regarding his skills had him competing with Skulker in a rivalry that kept both ghosts fairly busy.)

“I don’t think the fact that I haven’t travelled the world is the reason for this.”

Dani shrugged. “Suit yourself. But don’t rule it out till you try it, cuz. Travelling’s about the experience, not the destination. You’re not going to find out what a place is really like from a TV screen.”

Danny pulled up short, and Dani flew back to join him. “You think I’m wasting my life by staying here, don’t you? Dani, I’m protecting people.”

She crossed her arms. “You were protecting people,” she corrected, “and then you fixed it so that they don’t need you anymore. By staying here and claiming you’re protecting this town? You’re just trying to protect yourself.”

“Dani—”

“You have a family. And you can’t tell me you think they wouldn’t accept you after everything. So obviously that’s not why you’re not telling them. But maybe you think you’re trying to protect them now, instead in of yourself. Protecting them from the truth. You’re forgetting how much lies hurt, and you’re shortchanging them for thinking they can’t handle this.”

“That’s crazy!”

“Yeah, but it’s true. You’re not telling them because you don’t want to admit you’ve been lying to them.”

“I’m not—”

“You didn’t even try to pursue your dreams once you thought it was safe to do so. And, yeah, fine, so maybe it would’ve been hard to’ve become an astronaut, but there are other jobs out there relating to space that you definitely could’ve done. You’re smart, Danny. Intuitive, which is worth much more than book smarts. But even when your parents were willing to let you go, you stayed. If I’m dead wrong, then why are you still here?”

“I like what I do, Dani.” Normally, he’d give her points for the pun, but not now. “And Amity Park still needs Phantom, whatever you think. Pretty much every time I let my guard down, someone comes through and tries to destroy the world.”

“That hasn’t happened since your truce.”

“And you think I’m going to tempt fate with my luck?”

Dani shot him an exasperated look. “C’mon, cuz, you can concede my point. I mean…. I get if you don’t want to tell them about me. You’re my family. I don’t need anyone else.” Lies, judging by her face, and that made them more painful for it. “But you still need them. They’re your family. And this isn’t a good reason to push them away or just put up with them trying to kill you whenever you’re in ghost mode. They wouldn’t if they knew the truth. And I get it’s been easier to keep your secret from them because Phantom hasn’t changed, but…. Think about what you’re taking away from them by keeping this up.”

She wasn’t really wrong. He did think his parents would accept him if he finally told them, and he really didn’t want to admit that he’d been living a lie for years. If he told them about Dani, they’d probably accept her, too. But he just….

This was easier, in a way. Predictable. And he didn’t have to deal with Vlad hovering over him, demanding to know why he’d done what he had when the truth endangered his secret, too.

He hadn’t talked to Vlad in years except when he couldn’t help it, but he might have to. Dani was right about something else, too: whatever this was, it couldn’t be normal. Not when she was his clone and she wasn’t affected by…whatever this was. To Danny’s eye, Plasmius had never changed, but it’s not like Vlad had ever pulled out pictures from his days as a young halfa. So what if something was wrong? And if there was something wrong, who was affected? Him or Dani?

“Look, cuz, fun as this has been, I need to head out of state again. Valerie wants me to back her up while she checks something out. I’ll call you later. Just…please, think about what I said.”

She took off without waiting for a response.

Vlad raised his eyebrows. “You’re only asking me this now, little badger?”

Danny bristled. He still hated that nickname. And even though he was taller than Vlad in his human form, the other halfa hadn’t changed his ways. “Just tell me.”

Vlad shuffled the papers on his desk, playing for time and just trying to make Danny squirm. It didn’t improve his mood. But while Dani hadn’t brought it up again, Danny had been thinking about what she’d said that day—and, more to the point, what had been bothering him since he’d first realized that her ghost form was changing while his stubbornly stayed the same. That was why he was here, now, crashing at Vlad’s unannounced and demanding answers.

He hadn’t wanted to give Vlad warning, since the old fruit loop might use the time to prepare convenient answers that seemed to be the truth but were really just what Danny wanted to hear.

“Danielle is a clone, my dear boy, but she is not a perfect one. For obvious reasons.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Just spit it out.” Vlad never got straight to the point when he could go on and on. While he had more or less given up on the whole idea of getting Danny to turn on Jack and be the son Vlad had never had or of creating a reasonable facsimile, he still enjoyed the attention. And antagonizing Danny at every turn.

“How’s your biology?”

“Aside from what I need to know? Terrible.”

Vlad sighed. “Then suffice to say, little badger, that by her very nature, Danielle’s body will age faster than yours.”

Danny just stared at him.

“One of her imperfections is her instability. You may have stabilized her once, Daniel, but she is not exactly conservative in her actions, and such wear and tear is hardly the best thing for her fragile body. I must admit I cut quite a few corners accelerating her age to twelve years when I first started; it’s surprising that she does not appear older than her current age now.”

Danny opened his mouth, closed it, licked his lips, and tried again. “So, what, one of these days, she’ll destabilize again? Why didn’t you tell me this years ago? How can we stop it?”

“It’s not a process that can be stopped. There are simply too many mutations within her genome, and cytolysis seems to have been introduced with the accelerated aging—”

“And you haven’t figured out how to fix it?” Danny growled, knowing his eyes were burning green but hating that Vlad had kept this knowledge to himself, that he was content with letting Dani die so easily. “We have to save her!”

“There isn’t anything we can do.”

“But there has—”

“Daniel. Her aging isn’t normal. Surely you’ve realized that, considering that your own ghost form hasn’t changed.”

“That just makes me the abnormal one,” Danny bit out. “Other ghosts have changed and grown. It’s not just the shapeshifters.”

“The other ghosts are ghosts. Have you really not figured this out? It’s been years, Daniel. I had thought you at least a little cleverer than this.”

Danny was about to retort when Vlad’s words clicked. He’d made a distinction between ghosts and halfas and already made it fairly clear that Dani’s apparently normal growth was the furthest thing from it. Which meant…. “You’re not aging, either? In ghost mode, I mean?”

Vlad leaned back in his chair and changed into Plasmius. “Do I still look so old to your young eyes?”

Plasmius didn’t resemble Masters as much as Phantom resembled Danny’s human half, but— “No. You look…. Geez, you almost look younger than me.”

“I am. I was in my mid-twenties when your insufferable father caused the proto-portal to explode in my face. But this form has its advantages, little badger. It becomes more and more difficult to give up.”

“Uh huh.”

Vlad gave him a level look, a slight curve of his lip the only indication that he disapproved of Danny’s flat tone. “You’ll understand someday. Youth isn’t something to be scorned.”

“You can’t talk. Plasmius doesn’t look like a teenager. People don’t look at you in ghost mode and not respect you. I swear, the kids these days—”

Vlad cut him off with an amused chuckle. “And you call me old. But let an old man teach you a lesson you should have already learned: accept what you cannot change.”

“What, not be the change you want to see?”

“You were always good at changing things, Daniel, but you never quite got the hang of accepting them.”

“I handled the half ghost thing well enough,” Danny muttered. He wasn’t sure what Vlad was trying to do by giving him this so-called advice, but he was more concerned about everything else the other man had said. If he wasn’t lying about Dani…. “Did you really not figure out a way to stabilize your clones? I mean, you could’ve adapted your own mid-morph sample if you were messing with DNA anyway.”

Vlad frowned, though Danny didn’t know if that was because he was incorrect or just grossly oversimplifying things. “Is that really your biggest concern right now?”

“Yes!”

“Then you haven’t learned anything at all. Run along, little badger. Try to prove me wrong. But don’t be surprised when you fail.”

“So you still haven’t told her, huh?”

Danny phased his hand through the wall of his old bedroom to the empty space where he kept a vial of Dani’s ectoplasm. He’d had to beg it off Vlad, not wanting to tell Dani what he was doing until he found a way to fix this, so he was careful with it; he wouldn’t have the opportunity to get more. Fortunately, his parents weren’t home right now, which meant he had free reign of the lab—and it meant he could have Jazz on speakerphone. “There’s gotta be a way around it. C’mon, haven’t you come across anything?” As of last week, Tucker hadn’t had anything, either, and according to Sam’s text yesterday, her best attempt at a lead had fizzled.

“You’re the one working with Mom and Dad, not me. I haven’t been covered in ectoplasmic goo in years.” Danny opened his mouth, but Jazz continued before he had a chance to say anything. “I know, I know. I’m keeping an ear to the ground, but I don’t think I’m going to be much help. You should ask Mom.”

“That would require more explaining than I’m prepared to do,” Danny pointed out as he headed downstairs. Jazz was just trying to make the point again that he should tell them his secret, especially now that he’d finally—finally—gotten them to agree to work with Phantom more overtly than ever before. He knew they didn’t trust him much, but they were getting older, and they weren’t as quick or—at least in his mom’s case—as accurate a shot as they’d once been. He’d told them, as both Danny and as Phantom, to turn on Phantom if he ever went bad, but that was as much for their comfort as for his.

He didn’t want to be let loose on the world if, for some reason, he was being controlled or anything like that. Valerie knew that, too. She didn’t need to live in Amity Park or Elmerton to keep up on the news, and Phantom going rogue? She’d pay attention to that.

But he hadn’t told her his secret, either, even after she’d accepted Dani. Because that wasn’t the same. On that point, it did come down to cowardice. Like Dani had said, he didn’t want to admit to the years of lies. And, brief though the period had been, he had dated Valerie. She might take that as a betrayal of trust. Willing to work with her enemies though she might be, she could definitely hold a grudge.

Of course, mad at him as she might initially be, she would get over it. Eventually. And then he’d have someone else to help him solve this problem with Dani before it was too late. He was beyond pretending that he didn’t need help.

“And you tried talking to Vlad again?”

“He’s no help and you know it,” Danny said as he flicked on the lights in the lab. “He gave up on her a long time ago. As far as he’s concerned, he’s humouring me. Waiting for me to realize I can’t do anything. As if I’m going to abandon her.”

A sigh. “Danny, I know how much this means to you, but you need to talk to someone who knows more than we do. Sam and Tucker have their own lives now. They can’t drop everything to help you as easily anymore.”

“And neither can you,” Danny finished. “I know. I’m not asking you to do that. I’m just—” From Jazz’s end, someone leaned on a car horn. Danny winced. That was the downside of calling Jazz in the middle of the day; if she was somewhere she could talk to him, then she was in transit, fighting her way through what seemed to be constant traffic. She walked as much as she could, claiming it kept her fit, but Danny suspected the truth was one too many close calls with drivers little better than their father. “Someone got cut off?” he guessed.

“Patience is hard to come by in the big city,” was all Jazz said. “Sometimes it feels like you’re risking life and limb even venturing out onto the sidewalk.”

“But your patients thank you for it,” Danny said, grinning as he imagined Jazz’s eye roll. “And I’m grateful that you still put up with these phone calls from me. You’re a life saver, Jazz. Really.” He glanced at his watch. “You’ve got, what, ten minutes till you want to be there for your next appointment?”

“Yeah. It would be tight if I didn’t give myself a few extra minutes. But you didn’t call to talk about me. Was it really just to see if I’ve miraculously discovered something to help Dani?”

She knew it wasn’t; her tone made that perfectly clear.

She could still read him like a book.

“Dani was wrong. About me just needing to travel, I mean. Since Vlad confirmed that he’s the same as me…. The joke about me being half dead might not be as much of a joke as I thought. Phantom’s never going to change, Jazz. I could be ninety, and if I go ghost, then bam! Wimpy teenager. Again.”

Jazz snorted. “Phantom can’t exactly be described as wimpy, and I don’t think perpetually looking like a teenager is what you’re really worried about. You aren’t losing yourself whenever you change, little brother. Just because you look like your past self, it doesn’t mean you’re becoming him. You’ve grown a lot over the past couple of decades, even if you can’t see that growth on the outside. That face in the mirror is still yours, and you’re still you. Phantom might be almost unrecognizable alongside Fenton, but that dissociation isn’t—”

Jazz’s words ended in a shriek, difficult to distinguish over screaming tires and blaring horns. After a loud crackle, the line went dead.

Danny’s shouts went unheard.

A warm hand dropped onto his shoulder. “She’s gone, sweetie,” Maddie said quietly as she moved around to join him at her kitchen table. “We have to accept that.” He’d come over for a visit, found them both out, and sat there to drink some tea which had long since gone cold. He hadn’t heard them come back. He had also apparently missed the kettle boiling, as she held her own steaming mug as if she were going to attempt the same thing he had. He wondered if she��d be any more successful.

Nothing seemed to be successful lately, including getting some sleep, considering there hadn’t been any ghost attacks.

It had been three weeks.

Three weeks of numbness. Three weeks of anger. Three weeks of tears. Three weeks of being an emotional mess, swinging between feel nothing (dead inside) and feeling too much.

Three weeks of that unfinished conversation repeating itself whenever he closed his eyes, always ending the same way.

Maddie pushed the warm mug toward him and pulled his untouched one away. He stared at it dully for a moment before slowly curling his fingers around it in acceptance. The patterns of steam in the air were mesmerizing. “This is incredibly hard for all of us, honey,” his mother said. “You should consider talking to someone like Jack and I do. Jazz would have wanted that.”

You don’t know what she wanted. He couldn’t bring himself to voice those words, though; there was no reason for such venom. Had a ghost taken Jazz from them, no one in their family would have hesitated. They would have been able to spring into action and take down the ghost, stopping it from doing this to anyone else even if they weren’t in time to save Jazz.

But it hadn’t been a ghost.

It had been an ordinary human. Driving. Drowsy, maybe, or drunk or texting. Danny didn’t know for sure. All he did know was that the man had run onto the sidewalk and hadn’t been able to stop fast enough. He’d hit Jazz and a few other pedestrians. He’d died from his injuries after a few days in the hospital; the others had, as far as Danny knew, recovered.

Jazz hadn’t even made it to the hospital.

“This isn’t right,” Danny whispered. “Jazz has too much left to do.”

Maddie found his hand and squeezed it. “I know it hurts, sweetie. Your heart is aching with her absence. But she’s gone, and you have to accept that. We can’t change it.”

Her words made him remember the conversation he’d had with Vlad years ago. “You were always good at changing things, Daniel, but you never quite got the hang of accepting them.”

But did he have to accept this? Jazz’s death had been abrupt, senseless, and had come well before it should have. She was the definition of someone with unfinished business in this realm. Didn’t that mean there was a chance that she was out there somewhere? Lost in the Ghost Zone, trying to recollect her memories of her past self or trying to muster up the energy to move through the Ghost Zone, find their portal, and break through?

Danny let out a slow breath. “She might not be gone gone.” He tore his eyes away from the mug and looked at Maddie. “She might be out there. In the Ghost Zone. Mom, I might be able to find her.”

Maddie’s smile was small. Sympathetic. Saddened. “Jazz wouldn’t have wanted to come back as a ghost, sweetie.”

“That’s not necessarily a choice! And if she’s out there—”

“Even if something is out there that resembles her, Danny, it wouldn’t be her. You know that.”

“You’re wrong,” he insisted. “You know as well as I do that some of the ghosts in the Ghost Zone are people and animals who had once lived in our realm. They aren’t all just sentient ectoplasmic forms or whatever your latest term for it is. And the ones who aren’t, the ones who were once alive— There’s more of the people they once were in them than you think. Death doesn’t change everything. Jazz would still be Jazz, not just a ghost that looks like her.”

Maddie sighed. “I know it’s a comforting notion, Danny, but you can’t delude yourself with such falsehood.”

“It’s not—”

“Ghosts aren’t alive!” Maddie snapped. Danny blinked, not expecting her anger, and she took a few breaths before saying, “It’s dangerous to hope like that, Danny. You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment, and you know better.”

Danny swallowed. “I know more than you do. I know more than you think.”

Jazz had always wanted him to tell them.

“Danny—”

“Do you remember that accident I had in the lab when I was a kid? The one that sparked the portal? When you wanted me to go to the hospital but I insisted I was fine and Dad was so excited about the portal working that you didn’t push the point?”

Maddie’s lips thinned but she nodded.

“More happened then than I ever told you. I…. I don’t know how it works, exactly. Jazz always understood it better than I did. But my DNA…. Something changed. I think it was infused with ectoplasm.”

There was a frown on her face now, but at least she wasn’t interrupting him. He was surprised she’d let him get this far.

“The thing is….” Danny could still see the steam rising from the mug. He looked down at it and channelled some of his ice powers into his hands. The mug cooled, and the liquid within froze solid as ice painted the outside. He didn’t look up, even though Maddie’s gasp meant she’d seen it as he’d intended. “Everything changed then, Mom. I was just fourteen. I’d been in an accident that probably should have killed me—it was worse than I ever admitted—and…. I came out of it alive and with ghost powers. Which sounds crazy, like something that should be in a cartoon or comic books or something, but it’s not. It happened.” He glanced up and met wide violet eyes. “I can turn into a ghost.”

Silence.

“I’m Danny Phantom, Mom.”

Heartbeats passed.

Maddie let out a slow breath.

Danny waited.

Finally, a quiet, heart-wrenching, “Jazz knew?”

Not what he’d expected, but Danny treated the question as the lifesaver it was. “Not at first,” he admitted, “but she figured it out, and then she helped me. Sam and Tucker knew from the start. And Vlad….” He hesitated. “Vlad knows, too. Since that reunion you dragged us to. He, um, hadn’t entirely given up ghost hunting like you and Dad thought.” That was the safest way to put that. Let Vlad explain it for himself. “But my point is, Mom, I can go into the Ghost Zone and look for Jazz. I’ve been in there before. A lot. And I’ve got friends in there who can help me. We can find her.”

Maddie took a shuddering breath. “Please don’t.”

“I—what?”

The tears that had been gathering in Maddie’s eyes began slow tracks down her cheeks, disturbed as she’d tried to blink them away. “I…. I don’t want to think that she’s a ghost.”

A lump that had nothing to do with grief and everything to do with an old terror filled Danny’s throat. He managed to choke out, “B-but…ghosts aren’t evil, mindless beings. That’s my point. I’m still your son, even though I’m a ghost, too.”

Maddie closed her eyes. “I know. And I….” This time, she was the one having trouble finding the right words. “I still love you, Danny, and so will your father. I don’t have to understand this to know that. But that’s different than what happened to Jazz.”

Relief flooded him, and he found himself smiling as he argued his point. “No, it’s not.” He almost felt like laughing. Jazz was right; he should have done this years ago. He’d have to tell her the good news. “I can go find her, and—”

“Jazz is gone, Danny,” Maddie repeated. “You can’t find her. There isn’t anything here—or in the Ghost Zone—for you to find.”

“But—”

“No. Please, just let your sister rest in peace. For all our sakes.”

Maddie stood and went down to the lab, presumably to find Jack. Danny just stared after her, dumbstruck. He’d thought…. He’d thought she’d be happy, knowing her daughter might not be lost forever.

He headed into the Ghost Zone the next morning anyway, determined to find Jazz.

Part II or see more fics

#danny phantom #phanfiction #phanniemay18 #phanniemay 2018 #dp fanfiction #danny fenton #dani phantom #fanfiction #au #dp au #my writing #ladylynse #dp snippet #snippets

251 notes · View notes

mikunology · 6 years

Text

Mikunology File #6: Kagamine Rin

OK, to make up for the lack of Halloween fanart, I decided to try and actually get out a new Mikunology File/Info Post! It’s been a while, anyway.

So, like the last Mikunology File about Miku, this time we will be talking about Rin, my personal favorite and our token lancer! Strap yourselves in, folks, because BOY do I have some headcanons for this character.

Info under the cut! (WARNING: Lots of ranting. I’m very passionate about this one.)

So, about Rin--Rin is the second-in-command and main muscle of the team, as well as one half of the Character Vocal Series Model 02 (designation CV02-R) opposite her twin brother Len. With her brother, Rin unwittingly starts the more actiony part of Vocal Android’s plotline by completing her road roller transformer mecha, and joins her “sister” and best friend Miku on her musical journeys across Japan and the globe. Rin often finds herself getting more into trouble as a heroine rather than just a Vocaloid due to her thirst for adventure, but is just as important as Miku in the grand scheme of the premise.

Personality/Portrayal

I’ve also made little notes about Rin’s personality on this blog before, but let’s get more specific, shall we?

Let’s start our description of Rin with a description of her by Len: Rin is like the sun, essentially. She’s big, and bright, and warm, and fiery, so much so her light tends to blind people. Rin is cheerful, grandiose, and absurdly energetic, with a constant desire for excitement and thrills. She has a skip in her step and a flame in her eyes, and she’s not afraid to go and show the world what’s she made of, whether it wants her to or not. You could call her more than a little abrasive. But she’s pretty silly, mischievous and non-serious most of the time, especially compared to her always-serious brother, and really, all she likes is to have fun and spread her music. She’s also quite the hard-worker when something catches her fancy, but otherwise she’s a lazy bum--her attention span is very selective.

However, Rin is one of the most notably flawed characters in the main team, for more than a few reasons. Rin is quite self-assured and proud to be herself, but she can be quite selfish, prideful, and arrogant, often getting too caught up in being “the star” or “the hero” to the detriment of the rest of the team. She’s very much fueled by emotion and drive and tends to go too far with things, even if her intentions were initially harmless, and she acts before it even occurs to her she needs to think first. And while her stubbornness and refusal to give in can be one of her best qualities, she tends to ignore warnings about the consequences of her actions, and sometimes only focuses on herself and what she wants over what others want, even her brother. There have even been times where she’s been unabashedly rude to Len, as rare of an occurrence that may be (that usually ends with her regretting it).

Though, while Rin may not be perfect and do the above things listed, she does try her best to learn from her mistakes and fix them, and then go on to try to do better. As much of a ball of fire she may be, she usually tries to use her stubborn warmth to help people, as while she can get caught up in herself, she shares Miku and Len’s dislike for seeing others unhappy. She always stands up for herself and her friends and family, and if you give any of her loved ones heck on her watch she won’t hesitate to defend them. She absolutely refuses to be pessimistic or hopeless (or let anyone else be that way), and would rather fight for her world rather than stand down and let others take it. She’s very much headstrong, and deep down inside, very much a loving soul.

Abilities

Since they’re from the same series of androids you can look back to Miku’s post for some of Rin’s basic abilities (her singing voice, flight, durability, download, etc.) but here I will describe the ones Rin has to herself.

Super strength. Unlike Miku, who is more a jack-of-all-trades in the combat department, Rin’s more prominent specialty is her immense strength, from a source currently unknown. While her strength hasn’t been measured exactly quite yet, to give you an idea, Rin was capable of nearly smashing in her own road roller when it went haywire.

Shockwave clap. A technique Rin learned by playing around with audio allowed her to use her strength and amps to perform a shockwave clap as a backup for her voice. It’s super effective!

Technological prowess. While Rin tends to be a little lazy about it, Rin really knows her machines. Along with the modification of her road roller, Rin is talented at fixing and modifying vehicles and other engine-run machines of similar caliber. She also knows fairly well about robots and is capable of tinkering with simple ones.

Musical prowess. Of course, though compared to Miku, Rin’s greatest instrumental strengths are with guitar (especially electric guitar) and grand piano.

Equipment

Rin is very much big on equipment compared to the rest of the team, even Len. Mostly because, who doesn’t like messing around with cool weaponry all the time? Plus, she usually knows how to handle it best next to Gumi and Meiko. This list is open to change as I come up with ideas.

Her arm sleeves. Like Miku, her most common piece of equipment next to her trademark headphones and hair ribbon. They’re computerized and allow Rin to access all her song data, information, voicebanks/libraries and system menu. She can also video call via hologram with it, and record sounds with it.

Her headphones. Rin’s headphones function most often as normal headphones and a secondary on/off switch. They can also function as a sort of audio-based walkie talkie, letting Rin contact her siblings and the other Cryptons.

Road roller (aka “Josephine”). Rin’s special Yellow Car, the great, the terrifying original road roller “borrowed” from a nearby construction site. Rin has specially modified it to go faster than your average road roller, thus making it the perfect flashy transporter for her and her brother. She also edited it to be a Transformer, pretty much, becoming a pilotable mecha with various functions.

The Rinmobile. A secondary method of transport created by Rin, a small motorbike outfitted with a small version of a road roller’s front wheel and a couple of other adjustments. Rin rides it when she needs quick (and not as flashy) transport across town when not carpooling with the others.

Bonus Headcanons

Rin’s bow tends to emote with her.

She is described as tsundere.

Rin has a special place in her room filled with orange-themed collectibles, like hackey-sacks, bean bags, orange candy, toys, and the like. Rin calls it her collection, Len calls it her “orange shrine”.

She loves Pokemon games. Unsurprisingly, her favorite is Pikachu.

Her absolute worst fear is losing Len, especially because of something she did.

She draws manga of her own adventures in her off time. She’s hoping to be able to publish it.

She’s really good at making sweets and desserts, but not so much at regular meals.

Inspiration Songs

Some songs I used to help characterize my Rin are “RING×RING×RING” (especially this one, it’s basically my Rin in a nutshell), “RinRin HIGH MIND”, “Sweet Magic”, “Bucchigiri ni Shite Ageru”, “I Like You, I Love You”, “Do RinRinRin”, and “Princess Cowgirl Show”. For anyone curious, of course.

#mikunology files #kagamine rin #vocal android #vocaloid #my headcanons #i return with more lore #if this one isn't as good it's because i'm sleepy

46 notes · View notes

therainroguefanfiction · 4 years

Text

🌀 Storm Coming (A SKET Dance Fanfic) Chapter 4: A Test of Courage

📑 Table of Contents | ◂Previous Chapter

━━━━━━༻ 🌀 ༺━━━━━━

Kaimei high school was a ten-minute walk from the house. Kevin insisted on taking me, but I didn’t want him to miss work so I managed to convince him I’d be fine. In truth, I was far from fine. Every step I took seemed to grow heavier as my heart hammered against my chest. The crude map he had drawn for me was clenched tightly in my hand as I walked down the street.

When I reached the gate leading to the school, I paused to calm my nerves. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, the cool spring air filling my lungs. When I opened them, I took a moment to appreciate the cherry trees on either side of the gate. They were beautiful and had a calming effect on me. It was kind of ironic – I hate the color pink, but I also think cherry trees are one of the most beautiful things in nature.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I slipped it out. It was a message from Kevin.

‘Did you find the school okay?’

I nodded, but realized that was stupid since he couldn’t see it and quickly typed a reply, ‘I just arrived. I’m going in now.’

Taking another deep breath, I slid my phone back into my pocket and entered the school. I had been worried that I would get lost looking for the office, but I found it fairly easily and slid the door open. Several pairs of eyes looked up at me and I froze. This wasn’t like the office buildings back in America. Back home, the office door led to a desk clerk or secretary. Behind that person would be a couple different offices, including the principal.

But it was different here. The office was one room, in the center of which were a bunch of desks pushed together. There was a desk at the front of the room, and I assumed that had to be the principal’s desk but he wasn’t there. Shit, what do I do? I was supposed to come to the office, wasn’t I? Everyone is looking at me. Is it too late to run away?

My breathing was getting heavy and I felt a panic attack coming on as I slowly backed up, right into someone. I felt warm hands grip my shoulders

“Woah there. Are you okay?”

I didn’t want to look over my shoulder. It was obviously a guy if the voice was anything to go by. I lowered my head, feeling my cheeks burn. This was a mistake. I can’t do this.

“Would you happen to be Reynolds, Samantha?” He questioned.

I nodded, staring down at my sneakers.

“Perfect, I was just coming to look for you! If you follow me, I’ll take you to the room where you’ll be taking your test.”

I nodded again, not trusting my voice. My eyes felt moist, but I refused to cry. I couldn’t. Not in front of this guy I’ve never met before, not in this strange school. The thought of drawing that much attention to myself kept me grounded enough to keep it together, but just barely.

“My name is Agata, Soujirou, I’m the student council president.” He said, stopping in front of a door and sliding it open. “Here we are.”

I glanced up. There were two tables pushed against one another in the center of the room, with books and pens and an assortment of other items placed on top. Two chairs were placed on either side. A desk sat at the front of the room, which he moved to sit in.

“This is the student council room,” he explained, stifling a yawn as he leaned back in his chair. “The others are in class right now. Go ahead and take a seat.”

With a gulp, I took the first seat at the table. Several sheets of paper had been stapled together, waiting to be filled out. ‘Kaimei High Placement Test’ had been written in bold lettering across the top. I glanced at the boy as he relaxed in the chair, hands behind his head and eyes closed.

He seemed to stand at around five-ten, with black messy hair. The top buttons of his school shirt were undone and his tie was loose, his clothes wrinkled. Was he really the student council president? I had followed him without question. I bit my lip, weighing my options.

His brown eyes slid opened, meeting my own and he tilted his head. “Something wrong?”

I quickly looked away, cursing myself for getting caught staring. I picked up the pencil with a shaking hand, taking a few deep breaths. In and out. In and out. Gotta stay calm. I can do this. First, I gotta fill in my name. I wrote my first name and then paused. The Japanese write it last name first, I should do that. I erased it and wrote my last name, then paused again. Wait wait, I don’t know the kanji for my name! Crap, I’m filling out my name and I’m already losing it? You’re a goddamn mess, Sam!

Agata hummed thoughtfully as he stood up and approached me.

I tensed up, my hand tightening around the pencil.

He tugged it from my hand with a chuckle, letting his tongue touch the tip before he pulled the paper toward him. “Let’s see. Reynolds, Samantha, ne? That would be…” He wrote my name in Kanji. “There,”

“T-Thank you,” I mumbled, keeping my eyes on the paper as he slid it back to me. I heard him sit back down in his chair, but I didn’t want to look in case he was watching me. My eyes scanned his messy handwriting, trying to memorize the characters for my name. He must think I’m so stupid, not even able to write my own name.

Running a hand through my hair, I added the date and started on question one. The room was so quiet I could hear my breathing and his own. My ears were ringing, but I forced myself to make due. I couldn’t handle quiet environments well. For whatever reason, my anxiety didn’t like it, so I always had to have some sort of background or white noise. It made it hard for me to concentrate, but I did my best to ignore it.

The bell rang, a shrill sound that echoed throughout the school. I could hear footsteps as students crowded the halls, their chatter making my body start to shake. I glanced at the clock. It was already lunchtime? I swallowed hard, closing my eyes. It’s okay. I only have one more page and I can go home. You’ve gotten this far, Sam, don’t chicken out now!

My hand shook, but I did my best to keep my handwriting neat and readable. I wanted to breeze through the last page, but my brain was having a meltdown. I tried reading the paragraph but found myself reading it ten times and still not knowing what it said. I could only focus on the dozens of students that were passing the door outside.

The door slammed open and I jumped, hitting my knee on the desk. I bit my lip hard, squeezing the pencil until the wood started to crack. My eyes were closed tightly, trying to keep back tears.

“President! I have some detention slips for you to look over.” It was a boy. I could hear him walk behind me as he approached Agata.

I couldn’t stop shaking. How bad I wanted to hop up and run from the room, but my body wasn’t listening to me. It was going into flight or fight mode, but neither option seemed to appease it. I was too scared to flee and too scared to fight against the fear. I bit my lip harder, feeling the skin split. The pain helped relieve some of the pressure I felt.

“Huh? What’s wrong with you? Why are you shaking?” The new voice asked, his voice clipped.

I lowered my head, shaking it back and forth. I hoped he got the hint because I was sure if I saw his face or tried to speak, I would break down.

“Oi, didn’t you hear me?” He was getting closer.

Agata cleared his throat and the chair squeaked as he stood up. “I’m approving all of these, Tsubaki. I heard there were a few students that like to hang out around the back of the school smoking during lunch. Can you investigate that?”

“What?” The second boy, ‘Tsubaki’, snapped angrily. “Leave it to me, president!” He ran out of the room, slamming it closed behind him.

I felt a warm hand on my head.

“Sorry about that. Tsubaki can be a bit over the top sometimes, kekeke.”

What a strange laugh.

“Principal Karamatsu told me about your problem, so don’t worry. Take your time to calm down.” He spoke, softly, ruffling my hair.

The door opened again, softer this time. “Oh, is this the new student?”

“Yeah, this is her. Shinba, can you make sure no one else comes in until this test is finished?”

“Of course! I look forward to getting to know you better.” This new boy’s tone sounded flirty but kind. The door slid closed once again.

Agata sighed. “Maybe it would have been better to do this on the weekend. Are you almost done?”

I used the sleeve of my jacket to wipe away my tears and nodded, shakily reaching for the pencil. I realized I had broken it. “I-I’m s-sorry…”

“Don’t mind it,” he set a fresh pencil on the paper before picking up the broken one and throwing it in the trash. “It’s just a pencil, we have plenty of those kekeke.”

I wanted to get out of there. I wanted to run away and hide under my covers until I died. Even if I rushed through and finished the test, all of the students were out of class for lunch and I really didn’t want to go through them. I didn’t want to be seen by anyone. I carefully read over the paragraph for the eleventh time, finally understanding what it was trying to tell me.

My handwriting had gotten messier and I cursed, erasing it and trying to re-write the answer. It was just as messy. I ran my hand through my hair again, chewing on the split in my lip. The taste of metal rested on my tongue. Why did I always have to fall apart like this? Even if I pass this test with flying colors, there’s no way in hell I can survive two years of this.

Tears filled my eyes again and I sniffed, angrily wiping them away. I was a fool to think I could change, to think I was strong enough to change.

“You’re too hard on yourself,”

My head snapped up, teary eyes meeting his. His expression was serious as he watched me, his chin resting on his intertwined fingers. What, was he a damn mind reader or something? That thought terrified me. My mind is not something anyone should have to see.

“Don’t push yourself so hard. Just be yourself and try not to worry so much.”

I glanced down at the paper and scoffed.

“I know, I know, it’s harder than it sounds.” He shifted, sitting back in his chair. “But I have faith that you can do it.”

I wanted to question him but his genuine expression stopped the words before I could say them. He didn’t know me. He just met me for the first time in his life and he saw me have a mini-breakdown because some loud kid came into the room and asked me a question. How in the hell could he possibly have more confidence in myself than I do? I frowned at the paper.

Just one more question left. One more question and I could go home. The problem is that it was a math question and I had no idea what the answer was.

‘Simplify the expression: 12(3 + x) – 4(5x – 6)’,

The hell did I just read. I groaned, holding my head between my hands. What the hell does that even mean? They never taught me this shit in school. Granted, I did drop out in middle school, and the school I went to was rated a D by the school board. To be honest, I didn’t really understand any of the math questions and I won’t lie and say I didn’t guess on most of them.

“Not good at math, huh?”

I jumped, nearly falling out of the chair. When the hell had he walked back over here?

“Kekeke, sorry.” He grinned. “The answer is C, by the way.”

My brow furrowed. Why is he giving me the answer? That doesn’t seem like something a student council president would do. Is he testing me to see if I’ll take the answer? Will I be failed if I accept it? Is it even the right answer?

The bell rang again, signaling the end of lunch.

I glanced at the door just as it slid open, brown eyes meeting mine. The boy smiled, tilting his head, light brown hair shifting with the motion.

“I’m heading back to class. Unless you need me to stay?”

“We should be done here, thanks Shinba.”

“Of course,” he winked at me before closing the door. He seemed nice enough, but I didn’t think I’d get on well with him. He seemed like the type of guy that would flirt with anything that had a pulse. Was he a stereotypical playboy you see in romance anime that jumps from girl to girl?

I shook my head, realizing that Agata was probably waiting on me. I apologized softly before circling the third option and sliding the test toward him.

He picked it up, smacking it with the back of his hand. “I’ll take this to the principal so he can look over it. You can stay here to calm down for a bit if you want.” He paused at the door, offering me a smile. “Or I can walk you to the gate?”

I quickly shook my head. “N-No. I’m okay, t-thank you.”

He waved, closing the door behind him.

I sunk down in my seat with a sigh, looking up at the fluorescent light in the ceiling. Who knew taking a single test could take such a toll on the body. I felt like I had just run a marathon. I checked my phone and sweatdropped. Kevin had left fifteen messages…

They basically all said the same thing, just in different ways.

‘I hope the test is going well,’ It didn’t, but thanks.

‘Stay calm, you can do this!’ I didn’t stay calm, but I did it at least.

‘I believe in you,’ You, too? Come on.

‘I’m so proud of you, this is a big step!’ My cheeks burned at the thought of someone being proud of me.

‘What would you like for dinner? I’ll make whatever you want!’

That one made me remember that I had skipped breakfast. I stared at the message for a minute. Do they carry ingredients for spaghetti here? It wasn’t my favorite food, but it was a comfort food that reminded me of home. When I was younger, my grandma would always make a huge pot of spaghetti because it lasted us a week. It saved money and time. Back then, I didn’t feel near as much fear as I do now, so it had always been a comfort for me when I eat it.

‘Spaghetti?’, I replied.

The dots indicating that he was typing popped up. ‘Haven’t had that in forever! I’ll go to the store on the way home.’ Another message. ‘Are you okay?’

My fingers hovered over the keyboard as I hesitated. Should I tell him what happened? No, he’ll just worry! I typed out my reply, telling him that everything was fine and that the test had gone well, but my finger hesitated over the send button.

“Well, no more of that. I want you to feel comfortable being honest with me, no matter what it is, and I’ll do the same to you. Is that a deal?” His words echoed in my mind and I groaned.

I erased the message, replacing it with a different one. ‘Can I tell you when you get home?’

‘Of course, you can! Gotta get back to work, if you need me, call me ^_^’

Was it normal for parents to use those kinds of emojis? I guess it could have been worse. He coulda used a Lenny face or sent a meme.

With a sigh, I pushed myself up, taking a couple careful steps. My legs were shaky from nerves, but there shouldn’t be a problem – they rarely ever gave out on me. I hesitantly pulled the door open, glancing back and forth. The hallway was deserted. The problem was that I had no idea how to get back to the front of the school. When I was following Agata, I had been too nervous to pay attention to anything but the floor.

Maybe I should have taken him up on his offer… With a sigh, I started walking down the hall, hoping my feet would find their own way. I glanced outside at the cherry trees, their petals being carried on the wind. It was beautiful and, for a moment, I just stood there watching them dance.

“Hey, what are you doing out of class?!”

That voice… oh no.

“Get back to class right this ins – Oh, it’s you.” Tsubaki came to a stop beside me. “Why are you loitering in the halls? If you want a tour of the school, it can wait until your first day.”

I lowered my head, chewing on my lip. Should I tell him I’m lost? He’s going to think I’m such an idiot. But if I just apologize and walk away, he could find me wandering the halls again and get even angrier. If god exists, he definitely hates me.

“S-Sorry,” I muttered.

“What was that? Speak up, new student.”

Tears were springing to my eyes again and I cursed. I should just jump out of the window. That’d probably be less embarrassing than breaking down in front of this guy for the second time. Though I hoped he didn’t realize what was happening the first time. He probably thought I was rude for not answering him.

“What is with you?” he muttered, grabbing my shoulder to make me look in his direction. He raised his voice. “Speak up so I can hear yo – w-why are you crying?!”

The tears fell from my eyes on their own, falling down my cheeks. I could feel my body starting to shake as ice settled in on my chest.

“Crap, what do I do?!” He started to freak out, leaning down so he could see my face. “Come on, don’t cry!”

I was taken back by how beautiful his eyes were. They were the color of amber in the sunlight, framed by long lashes. They were mesmerizing, I didn’t want to look away. What the hell. Is this guy a witch or something?

I tore my gaze away, taking a step back as I furiously wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my jacket. I bowed as low as my body would allow, stuttering out an apology before I took off down the hall. Of course, with my weight and lack of athletic ability, I couldn’t run away like I wanted and it ended up to be more of a speed walk. He didn’t follow.

I managed to find the exit and rushed out of the building, not stopping to admire the beautiful trees that I loved so much.

━━━━━━༻ 🌀 ༺━━━━━━

▸Next Chapter

📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

If you enjoy my writing, please considering tipping me on Kofi or Cashapp. Every little bit helps and means a lot, thank you so much ^~^)/ If you can’t afford to do so, that’s okay, too, thanks for reading!

0 notes

sherlockxreader · 7 years

Text

Growing Affections

Title: Growing Affections Summary: Sherlock has been pining for his best friend’s sister for weeks and is struggling to keep his feelings hidden Author: Maddy Words: 2600 Characters/Relationships: Sherlock x Reader, John x sister!Reader Warnings: Major fluff overdose and bad writing due to tiredness

Request: Could you do a Sherlock x Reader, where the reader is John's sister and Sherlock fancies the reader but he doesn't want to get on the wrong side of John, until one day John is out and the reader says something and Sherlock grabs her and kisses her and John walks in? (happy ending please) thank you xx - anonymous

Author’s Notes: I didn’t know whether you wanted the reader to say whether she likes Sherlock out loud or try to subtly tell him but I thought it would be fun to write it as if though she was just there and Sherlock just couldn’t hold back kiss them any longer. This is written a lot differently from some of my other works but I feel like it worked out for the best. Maybe. I also seem to have a thing for writing short readers though I myself am not really that short. And have you realised that in most of these Sherlock fics, based in Britain (obviously) they don’t mention marmite at all? Being Australian and absolutely in love with Vegemite and marmite, I was actually really surprised by this, though honestly I can’t see Sherlock or John liking it now that I think about it and now I’m rambling because I am really tired. Oh well, I hope you like this nonny!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

After suffering through the tirade of childhood together, you and John had formed as close a bond with each other as any other pair of siblings would have created, even more so after he had taken upon the role of the protective older brother once your parent’s marriage began to die. He went through your school work with you and helped you navigate through high school drama whilst the stability of your family crumbled around you as Harry succumbed to the drink and your mother fell into depression. He had always been there for you through your childhood so when he came home from Afghanistan, in pain, depressed and unwilling to ask for help, you were there to lend a hand when he needed it.

Your bond only grew stronger as a result and when John had met Sherlock at the front of 221B, you, of course, had tagged along. Sherlock had been surprised when he saw you trailing next to John, your hair in a messy bun on top of your head, sky blue scarf around your neck, shielding it and your mouth from the bitter wind, your nose red from the cold (you had never liked the cold, even after living in England all your life), your red jacket contrasting against your black and white striped-stockinged legs and black converse-clad feet, a look that would have probably been ghastly on any other person except you. You were short, shorter than John even, the top of your head barely reaching Sherlock’s collarbone when you stood next to him. If he were to describe you at that moment, he would have chosen anything other than intimidating, the period immediately after that however, was a different story.

When John was looking around 221B with Mrs. Hudson, you had pulled Sherlock down to your height by the lapels of his jacket, swearing to him in a hushed and truly terrifying voice that if he ever did anything to John, anything at all, you would personally drag his arse to Hell and lay him at the feet of Satan yourself. You had then let go of him, smoothed out his jacket on his chest and moved away to talk cheerfully to Mrs. Hudson about renting out the flat below for yourself, wanting to move closer to the centre of the city, to which she happily agreed to. Sherlock stood dumbfounded on the spot you had threatened him on. You were truly intimidating, and he was completely and utterly captivated by you.

Your life after the whole Study in Pink case had moved fairly quickly after that, Sherlock’s affections only growing with each passing day as you helped Mrs. Hudson keep 221B to a relatively clean state, though you didn’t dust as you knew Sherlock preferred it that way, and worked at the popular bookstore a few streets down. You even helped solve some cases now and then, chasing criminals through the night as if it were a natural occurrence, your distinctive red coat trailing behind you in a similar fashion to Sherlock’s belstaff. You were even more alluring, Sherlock felt, when you were simply eating take-away with John and himself perched in your own teal Middlebury armchair with deep purple accents by the fire. You had loved the chair as soon as you saw it in 221B and claimed it for your own, absolutely jumping with joy as Sherlock and John moved their chairs aside for you to take the middle place between them (it didn’t matter to you that this chair would become the client chair, as long as it was yours at the end of the day). Sherlock thought you were adorable at that moment. It dwarfed you but you didn’t care, frequently curling up in the comfy chair with your feet tucked under your thighs and a thick quilt over your lap to starve off the chill only you ever felt. Sherlock loved seeing you like that, especially when you had a worn book in one hand a tea in the other, your reading glasses on your face, framing your iridescent eyes perfectly.

He had realised the very extent of his feelings on the day at the Pool, when Moriarty had threatened to burn the heart out of him before having his sniper’s aim their sights on the three of you. Sherlock’s heart stopped when he saw the little red lights hovering on your forehead and heart, the promise of death seeming so secure. He couldn’t breath then. He couldn’t care about his own life or even John’s when he saw that yours was in danger because of him. It was here he realised that he loved you far deeper than he had thought.

He had stayed up for days after that day at the Pool, not only thinking about Moriarty but about you and his feelings towards you. He loved you more than anything, more than he could know, but he couldn’t possibly act upon his feelings when your brother was his best friend, could he? There was something a bit not good about that wasn’t there? He knew there probably was but he couldn’t stop thinking about you either. It didn’t help that his feelings towards you only grew larger and more invasive after that day.

He came to recognise what all your little smiles meant, from the one where you were just being polite to the person you were with, to the one where you were obviously screaming on the inside (somehow John got this look quite a lot) to the one where you were tired and just wanted to go back to sleep in the mornings. He remembered what flavoured teas you preferred and at what times of the day you drank them, even going out of his way to make them for you, to which you accepted with a ‘thank you’ said in that melodic voice of yours, every time thanking him sincerely, and not one of those times mocking him in anyway. You were perfect, and Sherlock was stuck, because no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t dampen his feelings towards you, his best friend’s sister. His brain actually hurt from all the thinking he had been doing on the topic.

This had all lead up to today. John had a shift at St. Barts whilst you and Sherlock had the day off together. This had happened before, don’t be fooled, however Sherlock knew that today it was going to be especially challenging to keep his feelings to himself when you had emerged from your flat downstairs, obviously having just woken up to wish your brother a good day, still dressed in your long pyjama pants and plain cotton shirt, your hair knotted and eyes still bleary from sleep. You looked like a mess honestly, but Sherlock thought you were absolutely radiant that morning. When John had left, after you had given him a quick kiss on his cheek, you had turned to Sherlock and smiled your smile that meant you were happy and calm, wishing him a good morning before you moved off into the kitchen to make yourself a cup of black tea, milky black tea in the mornings with two heaped teaspoons of sugar if Sherlock remembered correctly, which he always did. You also made yourself some toast with an excessively large amount of marmite spread on top of the melted butter (he still couldn’t understand how you liked that dark brown, near black, overly salty paste but he loved that you did. The face you made when you took the first taste of it in the morning was one of his favourites). You came into the living room where Sherlock was sitting in his chair and sat in your own, spreading the large, thick blanket you kept nearby over your lap before bringing your plate to rest on top. You took your first bite and closed your eyes in bliss, unaware that Sherlock was looking on, his love clear in his eyes before he turned away when you opened yours.

You and Sherlock didn’t really talk much in the mornings, you usually being too tired to do so and him being unable to keep track of a conversation with you for more than a few minutes before he lost track of it whilst staring and memorising every aspect of you. This morning was no different, however it seemed as if you weren’t planning on talking much at all that day. After you had gone back down to shower, you reemerged in 221B, your latest book in your hands and a pair of earphones attached to your phone. You were dressed in your most comfy pair of jeans, the cuffs rolled up to show your ankles and the multiple holes gained from wear allowing skin to peek through. Your toes were painted in a vibrant shade of purple, which coincidentally matched the large purple shirt you wore, the cut of the collar allowing some of your collarbone to show. Your neck was exposed as you had your hair back up in a messy bun, some strands coming away to frame your face as delicately as your glasses did to your eyes, their tortoiseshell frames enhancing the golden flecks in your eyes. You wore no makeup, (there was no need for it anyway, you weren’t going anywhere) your freckles and blemishes being displayed without shame or embarrassment, your complexion slightly oily, the sun’s rays from the window being reflected as you prepared yourself for a day of sitting in your chair, reading your book with Sherlock thinking not to far away.

Sherlock noticed you were about to put your earbuds in before he remembered that you liked to have some music playing as you read. Not the stuff that was on the radio, you rarely listened to that anyway (another reason why Sherlock found you so amazing) but rather just as background noise so that it wasn’t dead quiet in the flat. Sherlock stood abruptly as you sat back in your seat, making you a herbal tea (jasmine tea with a spoon of honey for reading in the mornings) to which you gave another thank you after laughing a bit about how you were just about to go make it yourself (his heart fluttered as you smiled up at him, your laugh was the most beautiful sound to him), before he made his way to his violin. He noticed you noticing him do so and he saw you put your phone and earbuds aside, a faint blush dusting your cheeks as he tuned the instrument and began to play your favourite composition, Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. You smiled to yourself as you opened your book and heard the first few notes erupt from the instrument, unknown to you that your smile brightened Sherlock’s own as he watched on.

He loved to play his violin for you, even if you didn’t fully realise that he was indeed, playing it solely for you and not just because he was trying to think. As he played you began to sway slightly with the music, causing Sherlock to sigh at your beauty and stop in the middle of Spring, not even a quarter way through the piece. You turned to him, a perplexed yet amused look in your expression as you asked him what he was thinking about. ‘You’ popped into his mind immediately before he shook of the idea literally with a shake of his head. Instead, he muttered to you that he wasn’t thinking of anything at that moment. You laughed again, your head tilting back as Sherlock’s knees went weak. ‘You’re always thinking of something Sherlock.’ you said lightly, your eyes sparkling with the remaining joy you felt from seeing Sherlock fluster about. He again said that nothing was on his mind as he re-positioned the violin to continue from where he left off, however you couldn’t let it go; Sherlock never stopped halfway through a piece unless something was jarring his train of thought. You began to feel concerned as Sherlock tried, and failed to continue with the piece fluently with your eyes on him, not that he could see them as his own were shut tight in concentration.

You stood from your chair and made your way to him, placing your hand on the arm that was moving his bow, forcing him to stop for a minute and look at you. You heard him gasp as you made contact with his arm and his eyes flew open as he abruptly lowered his arms and the violin. He couldn’t admit his feelings to you, he thought, John would never forgive him. He placed his violin in its case, meticulously loosening the bow so that the bow stick wouldn’t warp before he tried to escape the room, however you prevented him by again placing your hands on his arms. ‘Sherlock?’ He looked down at your face and saw the concern you held for him in that moment. ‘Are you alright?’ You had always put others before yourself, you were just so kind. He couldn’t help but lean down and kiss you there in the living room. His hands came up to cup your face carefully as he continued, making sure to show every ounce of the love he felt for you in that one kiss.

You were startled at first. After all, this was Sherlock the high-functioning sociopath and he was pouring his heart out to you. He pulled back when you hadn’t reciprocated the kiss straight away, worry consumed his eyes and his began to stutter out an apology, an excuse, anything that would make everything go back to what it was when you pulled his face back down and kissed him back. This time Sherlock froze, not expecting you to return his feelings after he had shown you his. You moved your hands from his face to the back of his head, and played with the hair there, marvelling at the softness of the ebony curls as they wrapped around your fingers. Sherlock’s mind had caught up with the sensations as you had moved your hands and he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to his body as his lips started to move along with yours. He knew that this was probably a bit, no, a lot not good but he couldn’t care less as he felt you return his affections. He felt warmth spread from his centre all the way out to his fingertips as the kiss deepened, not knowing that the same was happening to you.

When you two separated for air, your foreheads leaning against one another’s and your breath’s mingling, you gazed into each other’s eyes and saw the love you both felt for each other. You couldn’t help but to smile brightly, rubbing your nose against Sherlock’s in affection as he smiled wider than he had ever done so before. You pressed your lips against Sherlock’s once more, him returning the kiss immediately instead of freezing when you both heard a cough come from the front door of the apartment. You both turned towards the door, perfectly in sync and brandishing matching kiss-swollen lips and reddened cheeks as you saw John leaning against the door frame. Sherlock worried that John was going to disapprove of the turn his friendship with you had taken whereas you worried he was going to become overprotective of you as he usually did. He was looking at you two with a neutral expression until the corner of his mouth curved into a smile and he shook his head affectionately. ‘Took you two long enough.’

#sherlockxreader #request #sherlock holmes #john watson #maddy #maddy writes #laterthantherabbit

440 notes · View notes

a-confused-turtle · 7 years

Text

Love

Fandom: Marvel’s Avengers

Summary: Snippets of Y/N and Steve, starting with the first time they meet.

Words: 3,146

Paring/Characters: StevexReader, Tony, Natasha, Sam, and Bucky.

Warning: None?

Author’s Note: So, I wrote this because inspiration struck and somehow I got carried away. I’ve kind of gotten into this short snippet thing since I’ve been short on time. I’d love to hear what you all think.

“Hi,” he greeted firmly, his voice deep and strong with a certain heaviness. His lips parted into a small, but still dazzling, smile. You could tell even then that didn’t happen often, that Steve Rogers kept focused. Yet, a funny thing happened, almost imperceptible to the untrained eye, his seriousness faltered as you looked back at him. For just a moment his eyes relaxed as they looked back at you.

With that one word, that one half-grin, something had changed. And that moment lasted for what seemed like a lifetime. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, you just felt a switch flip. All at once you felt lighter and heavier, warmer and chillier. A buzzing flooded through you in this sort of inexplicable jolt. Everything had changed and at the same time nothing had because you couldn’t quantify such an alteration with words. It was just this little idea taking root.

“Glad to have you on the team,” he added and reached to shake your hand.

You shook firmly, like you’d been taught. “Glad to be here,” you returned, grinning though your brow twitched a little at this new feeling.

“Well, let’s get you settled,” Tony said, almost making you jump, “And then I’ll grab Romanoff to show you around some more.” You’d forgotten he was there.

“See you later, Captain,” you said politely, still working to decipher the new twists and turns of your insides.

“Call me, Steve,” he insisted, focusing his eyes on you one more time.

“No,” you giggled, shaking your head, as you strode down the hallway with him at your side.

“Yes,” Steve insisted while he chuckled. He bumped into your shoulder, but the two of you were in such hysterics you didn’t really notice.

You shook your head again, effectively whipping your ponytail back and forth. “Nope,” you maintained firmly, earning another laugh from him, not to mention a wider smile that made your heart speed up.

“Sorry, ma’am, you’re mistaken,” he shot back in mock seriousness, watching your reaction closely.

Playfully shoving him, which actually didn’t make him move an inch, you threatened, “Steve, if you ‘ma’am’ me one more time…”

He held the door to the kitchen open for you before he replied, “It’s a habit. What are you going to to do?”

You stopped at the counter, taking a moment to think about your response when an entirely different issue occured to you. “What were we even arguing about?” You asked as he reached into the fridge for a water bottle.

Thinking about your answer, even cocking his head to the side in thought, he tossed you a water too. You tried not to stare, but something about how he looked after training was so cute to you. “I honestly have no idea,” Steve replied with a crooked grin.

You laughed, “Must not have been that important then,” and took a sip of the water.

“I guess not,” he chuckled, leaning against the counter and shyly raising his eyes to you. Though you had no idea, he just couldn’t bring himself to stop looking at you. Over the past few months you’d been with the Avengers, something had changed in him. And it all started that first day. One minute he was getting ready for training with Clint and the next… There you were. He tried to shake it off, tell himself he was being ridiculous, because how could just a few introductory words and a handshake change someone? How? Especially him of all people. He couldn’t feel that way about someone. After Peggy and with his job, it just wasn’t an option. It was like he was made to be alone. But, looking at you and talking to you over those months, the convictions you had while still indulging a carefree side, it gave him hope. Maybe that was it. Maybe he finally hoped for the end of the war, for a dance…

“Well, I better get a shower,” you said and scrunched your nose up as you fanned your bare, damp neck with your hand.

“Y/N, hold on a second. I’ve been wanting to ask you something…” The words just seemed to fall out, even surprising Steve.

“Okay,” you said and nodded, not thinking anything of it despite his obvious signs of nervousness.

Breath hitched in his throat as you watched him, waiting for him to ask the said ‘something.’ He’d passed the point of no return. His eyes fell away from yours in embarrassment. “Would you want to go somewhere for dinner and a movie tonight?”

“Sure,” you answered fairly quickly, not quite catching his meaning at first. Then, as he ran a hand through his short, blond hair, it hit you. Immediately, your heart fluttered and a heat rose in your cheeks. “Yeah, that sounds great, Steve,” you affirmed, “See you in a bit.”

“Stop staring at me, Rogers,” you teased, waggling your eyebrows as you finished writing the last sentence on the form. You set the pen down and looked over at him across the table. “I’ll never get any work done,” you added for good measure and smirked, not even trying to fight it or the familiar well of some indescribable emotion in your heart. It ached and made you feel like you could fly at the same time.

He fought back his own smirk, biting his bottom lip. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Y/L/N,” he retorted, pen still in hand for his own paperwork though he hadn’t written a thing in quite a while.

“Bull,” you shot back mischievously as you collected your papers and added them to another pile on the table. His eyes followed your movements with interest, almost memorizing your little ticks and the way you did such mundane things. A little idea found its way into your mind after you continued, “Don’t be so obvious and you won’t get caught.”

Before he could reply, you rose and started over to him, trailing two of your fingers on the table’s glass surface. He swiveled in his chair to follow you, taking your hand as soon as he could reach it. Like every time he touched you, the contact sent an electric tingling up your arm, instantly making you a smiling, giddy mess.

An uncharacteristic confidence, at least in that department, rushed through you and before you could rethink the thought, you climbed into his lap, tucking your legs together on the side of his. It all felt so natural as his arms instinctively wrapped around you, pulling you into his strong chest, and yours looped around to the nape of his neck.

“I wasn’t staring,” he protested, raising an eyebrow at you while his enchanting blue eyes flitted down to your lips.

“Liar,” you whispered and poked his chest with your forefinger.

“Well, you’re the one preventing me from getting any work done now,” he whispered back.

You toyed with his jawline, gently ghosting your fingers along it. With it right there in front of you, you had to. God had probably chiseled that chin himself and that kind of work required admiration. “I’m sure, Captain America could stop me from being such a bad influence… If he wanted to,” you replied, letting out a silent giggle.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he said after a quiet moment. You blushed, your bold action finally catching up with you. It certainly was something you were still getting used to, Steve Rogers being your boyfriend. Never in a million years did you imagine…

He softly leaned his lips into yours, drawing you even closer to him. The sweet, tender kiss set you aflame, convinced you that was where your lips belonged. And even though it was probably the hundredth time, it felt like the first time all over again: tentative, gentle, and laced with deep, moving emotion.

You took his face in your hands and tilted your chin to let him deepen the kiss, forgetting any other thought but the feeling of his lips against yours. Nothing had ever felt so jaw-droppingly wonderful and you sensed it in every part of your body. You felt alive as if everything had only just begun for you, even life itself, in all of its odd, terrifying yet beautiful glory. You never wanted to let him go, you realized. And then it occurred to you. Was that love? That blindingly strong and euphoric sensation filling you. It had to be, what else could have plagued your heart from the moment you first saw him?

He grinned, eyes practically glowing at you, as you both pulled away for air, lips already sensitive from activity, and you knew. You knew in every fiber of your being that it was. The realization left you speechless, in happiness and fear, with so many thoughts on the tip of your tongue, but you simply smiled back, working to memorize every detail of him.

“Can I get back to work now?” He asked halfheartedly, more to make you laugh than to actually do so.

You chuckled and murmured, “Shut up,” as you brought your lips to his again.

“What are you talking about?” You practically whimpered, voice audibly cracking.

Steve reached for your hand desperately, but you took a step back, demanding he answer you. “Y/N, you heard what I said. I- I… It’s just better this way,” he replied weakly. In perfect honesty it wasn’t and you knew he knew that.

“No, it’s not,” you spat, “You’re just scared.” Your heart physically hurt, as if someone had beaten it to a pulp, about to land the final blow.

He sighed and thrust his hands out in exasperation. “So what if I am!”

“Exactly, Steve! It doesn’t matter. You know I’m terrified too, right?!” His eyes watched you carefully as your words came out louder. “It’s no reason for this! You can’t just…”

“Why can’t you be like Peggy,” he whispered. The words hadn’t slipped out, he’d forced them out, to hurt you. His heart screamed in pain, but he made himself do it.

You stopped dead in your tracks, in your train of thought. You even believed your heart had stopped, that it had physically been ripped in half by some malicious animal, no longer beating.

The words smacked you so hard, you stood there, stunned, until you found the urge to move. You disregarded Steve’s further words, his reaches for you, even the pained, frantic look in his beautiful eyes.

You flew to the door and slammed it, but once outside you froze again. Something wouldn’t let you move, the shattered remains of you wanted him to hug you, put you back together… Tears flooded down your cheeks, drowning you in your despair.

Slowly, the door opened, almost timidly. “Y/N,” Steve whispered, his voice laced with regret and sorrow. You didn’t even fight it when he pulled you into his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it, any of it. I just… I can’t lose you like I’ve lost everyone else.”

Against all your thoughts and reasoning to yell, to scream, to punch him, you kissed him. “You’re never going to lose me, Steve,” you whispered back.

Bucky snapped his fingers in front of Steve’s face. “Hello, earth to Steve,” he said, smirking slightly.

Steve blinked and focused on his friend with a questioning look.

Sam chuckled from his spot on the other side of the couch.

“What?” Steve asked when no one said a word, except the announcers on the television.

“Daydreaming about someone, are ya?” Bucky asked, breaking into a full blown smirk with amusement filling his eyes. He leaned back in his chair nonchalantly.

“He sure was,” Sam replied in Steve’s silence. The Falcon held his eyes on the television. It was only the pregame show, but he still didn’t want to miss a thing.

“How are things going with you and Y/N by the way?” Bucky inquired. It wasn’t what he’d asked Steve before, but it was a much more interesting line of conversation.

Before Steve could reply, you walked through the door. “Hey guys,” you greeted, and kept walking on into the kitchen.

“Hey,” Steve replied, turning and smiling at you.

“Sup,” Sam said, not taking his eyes off the screen.

Bucky waved. When you’d left their sight he returned to watching Steve expectantly.

“What?” Captain America asked, almost exasperated as he ran a hand through his blond hair.

You came back into the room and leaned over the back of the couch to hug Steve from behind. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders and neck as you kissed his cheek. He tenderly grabbed your forearms, turning his head to catch your lips on his. The sensation made him feel like he could fly. “See you guys later,” you said after you’d retracted your arms, smiling and blushing profusely as you turned to leave.

Steve watched your small but strong form disappear through the doorway with a grin of his own, your hair bouncing as you moved. He didn’t know what had come over him. The two of you never showed much affection around anyone, a kiss on the cheek and a hug was the most you’d ever done. And yet, he didn’t regret it. His heart thumped surely in his chest. He loved you with all his heart, with every fiber of his being, and he never wanted to be without you. He didn’t even know what he’d do without you.

How had he just put that together? You’d been together how long? You’d been through so much and were still stronger than ever, but how had he been so blind?

“You’re whipped,” Sam observed with a snort.

Bucky broke into a grin.

Steve rolled his eyes. “At least I have a girlfriend,” he shot back. The super soldier didn’t wait for a reply, he left the room quickly, off to attend to a new mission.

“Nat, seriously, he’s been acting weird…” You explained, “I’ve never seen him like this.” You bit your bottom lip as you closed your suitcase. Nervousness or confusion, something that made you completely uneasy, pooled in your stomach. There was no word to describe it precisely.

She frowned a little at the change in your voice. “Well, why do you think he’s acting that way?”

“I don’t know,” you sighed, dropping your head a little. You collapsed onto the couch next to her as you racked your brain for any possible reason. Had you done something wrong? He couldn’t be trying to push you away again, you’d gotten through that. Your heart ached at the thought…

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” she replied, “The boys seem to have more mood swings than us.” She nudged your shoulder with hers in an effort to cheer you up.

You leaned your head on her in response. “Nothing?”

“Yes, so stop freaking out and let’s get everything downstairs to the car,” she affirmed and poked you in the side. When you didn’t budge, she attacked you with more pokes and aggressive tickling. “Come on, you don’t want to miss the skiing retreat slash forced laying low do you?!?”

“Fine,” you breathed through a wave of giggles. “It’s not like I have anything better to do,” you added once you caught your breath.

“Well you do have someone better to do, but he’s coming too,” she teased.

You grabbed your bag and followed her out of the room toward the elevator only for said ‘someone’ to snatch your suitcase out of your hands. “I can get it,” you insisted with a roll of your eyes. His blue ones, with just a tiny hint of green, watched the loop yours made, completely absorbed in every little detail.

“I know you can,” he replied, placing a hand lovingly on your back.

“Get a room, you two,” Nat grumbled half-heartedly from the other side of the elevator.

“You know, I believe we already have one…”

Steve looked at the box one more time and absentmindedly ran a hand through his hair again. He snapped the box open, for one more verification, and closed it quickly, returning it to the spot in his jacket pocket. Over and over he kept thinking of what he wanted to say, how he wanted to say it, but nothing felt good enough, like he’d monumentally come up short.

When planning it all he and Nat thought they knew what you wanted, something simple, low-key, not a big fuss, but just enough of a fuss. That was exactly what he had planned: The deck lit with a string of lights and a few candles here and there. Yet, at that moment, he doubted everything. What if you didn’t want it at all?

A woosh of the sliding glass door drew him from his thoughts, his worries. The nerves seemed to squeeze his insides violently, especially at the sight of you in that new, blue dress you’d bought with your hair down, flowing completely naturally.

“Hey there,” you whispered, not wanting to break the silence of the calm night, as you strode over to him.

“Hi,” he mumbled, still in awe of you.

“Whatcha doin’ out here?” You asked, pulling him into a hug.

You leaned into him and put a hand on the deck’s railing as he responded, “Waiting for you.” He hoped his hand didn’t tremble in its place on your waist like he thought it was.

In response, you raised your eyebrows at him curiously, cocking your head to the side slightly.

“I wanted to ask you something,” he said shakily. His heart felt like it would surely burst out of his chest. “Y/N,” he continued, “We’ve been together for a long time, and we’ve been through so much. You don’t know what it means to me to have you stuck with me through all of this. Honestly, I don’t think I could have gotten through everything without you. I guess, Y/N, what I’m trying to say is…” Steve took the natural pause to get down on one knee, carefully pulling out the little box. It snapped open, but he didn’t hear it as he looked up at you, completely entranced. “I don’t ever want to be without you. I love you so much. Will you marry me?”

Your hands flew to cover your open mouth, surprise written all over your features. “Oh Steve, yes. Of course, yes,” you fumbled as a tear or two squeezed out of your eyes.

He rose and smashed his lips against yours, his hands holding your cheeks. You kissed him happily, if not sloppily, while you sniffled and let everything else slip away. Nothing else existed, just Steve and you in perfect, incandescent happiness.

“I love you,” you whispered.

#steve rogers #captain america #steve rogers x reader #steve x reader #steve rogers imagine #avengers fanfiction #avengers fic #avengers fluff #steve rogers fluff #captain america x reader #avengers imagine #captian america imagine

286 notes · View notes