#I went through something traumatic and this song was the only one there with me

[pixlerelish]

What dem hips do though?

#Baazigar #Baazigar O Baazigar #LOOK OKAY #This song and me are bonded for life now you don’t understand #I went through something traumatic and this song was the only one there with me #and the beach scene is just too important to me

[octoberclidan]

Stolen Glances

Request: Can you write a smut story with dean in it I was hoping a friends to lovers sort of thing

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Masterlist

Note: this is 18+ only. Do not read this if you're under 18.

Story:

Glances. That's all she could get of him. She watched from the passenger seat of the Impala while the sun and the wind worked together to scatter highlights through his hair, and she listened as he sang along to his tape as if there was no one in the car with him. She smiled as she watched him enjoy the drive, no monsters to hunt down, no angels or demons after them, just a drive to get supplies for the bunker. He'd come to her room in the early afternoon to see if she wanted to come with him, and she never said no to spending more time with him, to catch more glances, to see small glimpses into what her life would be like if he was hers. He looked over to her after the song ended and she quickly looked away, not wanting to he caught stealing her glances.

"Think they'll have pie?" He asked and she looked back at him, rolling her eyes and laughing.

"Remember how you threatened the poor guy last time they had none? I think they order in twice as many now just in case you come in looking for it".

"Hey, don't bring up bad memories", he gave her a fake glare before looking back out at the road, and he smiled when he heard her quietly giggle to herself.

"Sorry, I forgot how traumatic that experience was for you".

"Worst thing that ever happened to me", he smiled while shaking his head. Although he was joking, [Y/N] sometimes wondered if being disappointed by a store being out of pie was somewhere up there with all of his other traumatic experiences in his head.

"Well, if they don't have pie then we can get the ingredients and I'll make one for you".

"Are you trying to get in my pants? 'Cause that'd do it", he grinned, glancing over for a second to admire the blush he'd created on her cheeks.

"Just drive", she couldn't help but smile, turning her head to look out of the window, hiding how easy it was for Dean to get her flustered. No one had ever given her butterflies with just a smile. Especially not a cocky smile. Then came Dean Winchester, so naturally confident, more attractive than any man she'd ever met. Just one wink from him and her heart would skip a beat, just one gentle brush of his hand against hers and she lost all sense of herself. She could keep her heartbeat and breathing steady when she was in hand-to-hand combat with any monster or demon, but one stolen glance at Dean and she couldn't control it. She didn't know if it was just a crush that she hadn't been able to get over, or if she was actually in love with him. She knew she loved him in some sense, she loved Sam and Cas too, but her feelings for Dean ran much deeper than familial love. She was hesitant to put a label on it though, and she'd never tell him.

Dean pulled into a parking space right in front of the store, and he led the way in, [Y/N] following behind him. "You wanna go grab the toilet paper? I'll get the food", Dean asked and [Y/N] nodded, and the two went their separate ways. She wandered down the aisle where she knew she'd find the toilet paper, but stopped when something caught her eye. Condoms. She couldn't remember the last time she'd needed them, she wasn't into casual sex with strangers like she knew Dean was, or even Sam was on occasion. Living in a bunker and spending most of her time either inside it, or across the country on a case with the boys, didn't really give her much time to build a relationship with anyone other than the boys. She often visited the local bar with Sam and Dean, and she never really liked the lonely trip back to the bunker on the occasion that they both found someone else to go home with. She had been feeling more and more in the mood for it recently though. Her fingers and her imagination, mostly occupied by thoughts of Dean, just weren't cutting it anymore. She wanted to find a man, but she'd been holding herself back, always finding excuses. She figured that maybe if she bought a pack of condoms and kept one in her purse, she'd be giving herself one less excuse to leave their bar alone.

She quickly grabbed a packet and made her way to the toilet paper, grabbing a few other toiletries on the way to hide the condoms. The last thing she wanted was for Dean to see them, raise his eyebrow at her, and make some smart comment on them. She knew she'd probably burn her cheeks with the embarrassment if that happened. She made her way to the checkout and paid for her stuff before heading outside to wait for Dean. She shoved the condoms into her jacket pocket while she held the rest of her things in a bag, waiting by the car for him to come out. In hindsight, she should've taken the keys from Dean so she could sit in the car, she knew he'd take longer if he was the one shopping for food. The air was warm, and she closed her eyes to enjoy the light breeze in her hair.

"Hey Sweetheart", Dean's voice caught her attention, and she opened her eyes to see him walking towards her, his hands full with bags. She could see a familiar box of pie peaking out of the top of one, and she almost felt disappointed. She wondered if she'd had to make one for him, if it would give him a reason to like her more.

"Hey", she smiled, pushing off the car. "They had pie?"

"Yup", Dean chuckled. "Dude scrambled to go get it when he saw me, I didn't even have to say anything".

"I'm telling you, he's terrified", she laughed and Dean shrugged sheepishly at her.

"Hey, could you grab the keys? They're in my pocket", Dean turned to his side and nodded down at his pocket. She nodded and reached into his jacket pocket with her free hand, but Dean cleared his throat when she found his pocket was empty. Looking up at him in confusion, she noticed a light blush across his nose. "Uh, sorry, I meant my jeans".

"Oh", she said, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks. "Right". She took her hand out of his jacket pocket and reached into his jeans pocket, quickly pulling out the keys and unlocking the car. They set their bags down before she silently handed Dean the keys and they got into the car. As soon as the engine was turned on, Dean turned on the music, neither of them making eye contact. She didn't know why it was so awkward, they'd been a lot closer to each other than having a hand in the other's pocket. She'd cleaned and stitched up wounds on his chest, stomach, and back. He'd cleaned and stitched up wounds on her shoulders, thighs, and sides, and it was never awkward.

About halfway back to the bunker, [Y/N] finally stole a glance over at Dean. The sun was starting to set, filling the Impala with a warm orange glow, and it hit Dean's face perfectly. They were coming up to a turn in the road when Dean looked in her direction, meaning to look out her window but catching her staring at him instead. When their eyes met, she jumped slightly and turned to look out the front of the car instead, but she looked back when she heard Dean chuckle. "What?" She asked, and he smirked before nodding down at the space between them, then looking back out onto the road. She looked down and immediately her cheeks felt like they were on fire. Her box of condoms had slipped out of her pocket and were now sitting beside her, fully visible to Dean.

"You seeing someone?" He asked as she quickly stuffed them back into her pocket.

"No", she shook her head, looking out the passenger window, not wanting to catch his eye.

"You planning to?" He asked, glancing over at her. She thought he sounded worried. She looked back at him with furrowed eyebrows.

"Maybe? Why does it matter to you?"

He shrugged as he looked back out the window. "Just think that if you're planning on going home with some guy, then Sam or I should know where you are. You know, for safety".

She scoffed and shook her head. "You don't tell me where you go when you find someone to hook up with. You think I can't look out for myself?"

"No, I do", he said, clearing his throat. "I just didn't know you were into that kind of thing".

"I'm not", she said quietly. Talking about one night stands, or sex in general, while alone with Dean was something she'd managed to avoid so far. She couldn't help but notice that he kept glancing at her as he drove. He quickly looked at her pocket, then back to the road, then to her eyes, then back to the road, then to her chest, then back to the road, then to her lips, then back to the road. It was making her feel a little self conscious, but it was also making her feel warm inside. After a few moments of silence, Dean cleared his throat again.

"So uh, if you're not into it, what's with the condoms?"

"Why are you suddenly so interested in my purchases?" Her cheeks warmed again as she saw his neck turn pink. Why did he look nervous? This was Dean, he didn't get nervous that easily.

"I'm not", he said, and she turned away from him again.

She sighed, contemplating whether it would be more or less awkward to continue the conversation. She didn't want things to be awkward between them later, so she figured it would be best just to get it out of the way now. "It's just... been awhile for me. I'm not into one night stands, but I also have needs, and desires, you know?" She asked, and Dean swallowed, nodding, but kept his eyes on the road. "So I figured, next time I'm at the bar, I'll give myself as few excuses for rejecting a guy as possible".

"Oh", he nodded. He stole another glance before muttering a "fuck this" and pulled over onto the side of the road.

"What are you doing?" She asked in confusion, and Dean turned to fully face her. She noticed that his eyes seemed darker than usual, and his chest showed he was breathing heavily.

"I can't concentrate on driving, I can't concentrate while thinking about you being prepared to go home with some guy, while thinking about you having needs and desires. Fuck [Y/N], do you even realise how hot you are?"

Now she was swallowing nervously. No man had ever looked at her quite like how Dean was looking at her, nothing but desire on his face as he gripped the steering wheel tightly, like he was finding it difficult to restrain himself. She blinked at him, completely speechless, waiting to wake up in her bed. Never in a million years would she ever have thought Dean would look at her like that, that he'd want her like that. Yet, here he was, waiting for her to say something, to give him permission. She glanced down at his lips as he licked them, and she couldn't help herself, she shuffled closer to him, sliding along the front bench. He lifted his arm up and onto the back bench behind her, and took his other hand off the steering wheel and grabbed her thigh, pulling a gasp from her as he angled her to face him. He left his hand on her thigh as he stared down at her, so close she could feel his breath on her face.

They glanced at each other's lips as they leaned in towards one another, finally closing their eyes as their lips touched. Dean almost immediately pushed his tongue into her mouth as he gripped her thigh tighter, and she moaned as his other hand slipped off the bench and into her hair. She slid her hands up his chest, leaving one there feeling his heart beating quickly as her other hand continued up to his face, feeling his stubble under her finger tips. Neither of them cared that they were on the side of the road as Dean's hand left her thigh and slid up under her shirt, his thumb just below her bra and his fingers gripping her side. She giggled as she pulled away from him, looking up and smiling. "That tickles".

He smiled at her as he leaned down for another kiss, pushing her down onto the bench and leaning his elbows either side of her. He pressed himself on top of her and she moaned as he ground against her. He left her lips and kissed along her jaw down to her neck before pushing his hand inside her jacket, pulling it off and letting it fall to floor of the car. He pushed his hand back up her top, feeling her body. "Dean", she whispered. He pecked at her neck once more before pushing himself up to look at her properly.

"Yeah Sweetheart?" He had that smirk on his face, the one she was all too familiar with, the one that made her imagine all sorts of scenarios with him.

"You're wearing too many clothes".

He chuckled before looking up over her head, out the passenger window. Luckily it was a quiet road, there didn't seem to be many people about. "Wanna get in the back? There's more space". He watched her blush as he spoke. "I mean, if you wanna keep going that is".

"Well", she bit her lip as she reached up cup his cheek. "I am prepared and everything".

He grinned as he wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her up, reaching over her to open her door. She laughed at how excited he seemed, his smile making him look like he didn't have a care in the world, like this moment between them was the only thing in existence. He grabbed the condoms out of her discarded jacket, and they quickly got out of the car. Dean used the time to shed his own jacket before they slid into the back seat. Dean immediately grabbed [Y/N] and pulled her onto his lap, making her stradle him. He moaned as she leaned into him, feeling a hardness beneath his jeans. She began kissing at his jawline and neck as his hands found their way back up her top, his thumbs pushing up just under the cups of her bra, his fingers spread around her sides. Dean had large hands, and they made her feel small in his grasp.

"Fuck, that feels good", he groaned as she kissed just below his ear, his skin hot on her lips. "Can I take this off?" He asked, sliding his hands back down and tugging at the hem of her top. She leaned back slightly and nodded, and he grinned as he pulled it up and over her head, tossing it over the bench into the front of the car. "And this?" He asked, his hand running along the shoulder strap of her bra. She nodded again, this time a bit shyly, as he reached around to undo the clasp. Her bra fell away from her chest and he helped her slide the the staps down her arms. "Better than I imagined", he chuckled as he grabbed a breast in each hand, his thumbs flicking over both nipples.

"Imagined?" She asked, her fingers now toying with the hem of his t-shirt.

"Every day", he mumbled, completely distracted by the sight in front of him. "So many quick glances, not enough time to properly look", he said as his hand ran down her side, making her shiver, "and feel", he added.

She started to pull his shirt up and he complained when he had to take his hands off her to get it off, but as soon as it was on the floor, his lips were on hers in an instant. His tongue pushed into her mouth and he breathed heavily through his nose as she trailed her fingers over his stomach and up across his chest to his shoulders. She was taking her time with really feeling just how solid he was, how much muscle had had, how strong he felt under her. Her hands finally found their way back down to his belt, and she quickly unbuckled it. Getting the idea, Dean turned to his side and lay her down on the seat, leaning back to kick off his shoes and push his jeans off. She stared at him and the bulge in his boxers, the little wet patch from his arousal making itself apparent.

She reached down to unbutton her own jeans when his hands landed on hers. "Let me", his tone sounded almost like a plea as he waited for her to say yes, but she was lost in his appearance. Dean Winchester, stripped down to his boxers, a lights sweat on his body, his cheeks flushed, his lips slightly swollen, all because of her. Dean Winchester was looking at her like he'd never seen anything he wanted more. "Hey", he said, leaning over to cup her cheek. "Are you okay? Is this... this is still okay, right?" He asked, and she blinked, swallowing back her amazement and nodding.

"Yes", she said. "God yes, this is okay. I just got lost there for a second... do you even realise how sexy you are? Fuck Dean, look at you". He blushed and looked away from her, concentrating on her jeans again. Once they were undone, he pulled them down her legs, pulling her shoes off as he did so. Once she was left in just her panties, he leaned down to kiss her thighs, but looked up to her to catch her eyes as he did. He started to kiss higher up her legs, skipping over her underwear and kissing just below her belly button. She ran her fingers through his hair as she looked down at him, nervous but excited to watch him explore her body with his mouth.

He pecked her once more before hooking his finger into her panties and pulling them to the side, completely exposing her to him. He groaned as he leaned down, closing his eyes and licking up through her wetness. When he started to circle his tongue around her clit, she immediately clamped her thighs around his head, and gripped his hair tighter in her hand, surprised by how intense the pleasure was. "Fuck... sorry", she breathed out, relaxing her hold on him.

He chuckled and shook his head. "Do whatever you need, I'm into it", he kissed the inside of her thigh before focusing his attention back on her clit, now watching her reaction as he stroked a finger over her entrance. When she bucked her hips towards him, her inserted his finger, smiling to himself as she moaned. He continued to lick and such as he pushed another finger in, pumping in and out.

"Dean, stop, I'm close and I want us to cum together", she said through gritted teeth. He pulled away from her and raised his eyebrows.

"You sure? I can give you more than one".

"No", she shook her head, trying to calm herself. "The first one, I want it to be together".

He smiled at her as he nodded. She was completely lost in the moment, nothing else mattered other than the fact that Dean Winchester wanted to have sex with her in the back of his car, and it was about to happen. She watched with wide eyes as he pushed his boxers down, his cock fully erect, a bead of precum sitting on top. She licked her lips, she hoped they'd find themselves in a similar situation in the future where she could focus all of her attention on that, but right now she wanted him inside her. Dean grabbed the little box of condoms and pulled one out, splitting the wrapper open and pulling the rubber out. She fumbled with getting her panties off as she watched him expertly roll it onto himself.

"You ready?" He asked as he crawled on top of her, and she smiled up at him.

"Yes, I want to feel you", she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He positioned himself between her legs and slowly pushed in, holding his breath until he was as far as he could get. He let out a slightly shaky breath as he maneuvered slightly, caging her in between his arms.

"You feel so good", he whispered, leaning down to kiss her lips. He drew out of her slowly, just leaving the head inside, before thrusting back in. Her hands found their way to his shoulders, gripping him tight as he set a steady pace. He kissed her lips, cheeks, jaw, and neck as he continued, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer. Their breathing got heavier the closer they got, and the kisses got sloppy as they both moaned and groaned and gasped at every spike in pleasure.

When Dean felt her tighten around him, it pushed him over the edge, and just like she wanted, they came together. After a moment of catching their breaths, Dean kissed [Y/N]'s lips and pulled out. He discarded the condom and then grabbed [Y/N]'s waist, spinning them so he was lying down on his back with her on top of him. She snuggled into his chest and wrapped her arms around him, and he kissed her hairline and started to stroke up and down her back. "I never thought that would happen", she said quietly, and Dean sighed in content.

"I'm glad it did", he said. "And I hope it will happen again?"

She lifted her head to look at him, and leaned in for a quick kiss. "It's definitely happening again". They both grinned at each other before they went back to cuddling. They knew there would be no more stolen glances, they could just take as many as they liked.

The end

Dean Winchester taglist: @123passwort @janineb86 @k-slla @lyarr24 @candy-coated-misery0731 @jackles010378 @hobby27 @pizzagirlxnsfwx @itburnslikehelltobevega @queenie32 @livingdead-reilly @vmaier12 @littlemadamred @darthysfanfic @dramatic-long-coats @kr804573 @cutiesarah

#supernatural #supernatural fanfic #dean winchester #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester fanfic #supernatural fic #dean winchester fic #dean winchester supernatural #dean fluff #dean smut #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester smut #spn smut #spn fic #spn reader insert #spn #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fluff #supernatural reader insert #supernatural imagine #supernatural smut #dean winchester x you #dean x reader #dean x reader smut #dean x y/n #dean x you

[poge-life]

𝕍𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕥𝕪 𝔽𝕒𝕚𝕣 ~ 𝔻𝕣𝕖𝕨 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕖𝕪

“ I’m (y/n) (l/n) and we’re the cast of Outer Banks and today, we’re going to test how well we know each other.” You smiled looking between the camera and the group to your left. Carlacia raised her hand as she motioned between you and Drew, “Drew shouldn’t be allowed to answer any of these because none of us will even have a chance.”

Everyone let out sounds of agreement as you shook your head, reading the first question, “I don’t know. These are questions that made me think about my answer.”

“Okay, oo. This is a good one. What movie animal is my dog named after?”

“I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned this.” Drew told you but you shook your head in disagreement, “I’ve mentioned it before but I think it was when you guys first met him.”

“The adventures of Milo and Otis?” Chase asked and Madison agreed but you shook your head. Both Austin and Drew leaned forward to try and read the car but you quickly pulled away, tucking the card against your chest, “Cheaters!”

“What movie has a dog named Milo in it?”

“Oh! The mask! His dogs name is Milo!” Rudy answered and you flipped your card, showing ‘The Mask’, “I’m a huge Jim Carrey fan and since Milo is also a jack russell, it was fate.”

“Oo, you guys are never going to get this one,” you laughed, reading the card, “it literally took me so long to even think about this one. When I was 5, I jumped off the banister and had to get stitches. Where were the stitches?”

Everyone looked over at Drew, who would be the only one to remotely know the answer but he just tilted his head at you in thought.

“Your head?” Madelyn asked but you shook your head, “Nope. My sister did though. Cracked her head open.”

“How are you and your sister still alive?” Austin asked, looking at you in surprise as you shrugged before writing your answer on the card.

“Your legs?” JD asked, snapping his fingers at you

“Nope. Not even close.”

Drew clapped his hands once as he looked over at you, “Your tongue. You bit through your tongue and had to get 6 stitches.”

“Your tongue?!?” Madison asked, looking over at you in shock as you flipped your card, showing the answer, “Yes. I smacked my chin on the arm of the couch and bit right through my tongue. My tongue was stuck and I had to get stitches.”

“You just need to live in a bubble at this point, girl.” Carlacia laughed as everyone agreed with her.

“What do I think is the grossest thing a person can do?”

“THROWING UP!” Drew and JD shouted at the same time as they high fived. You cringed as you showed your card that read ‘throwing up’ as the answer.

“I hate throwing up. I hate the way I feel before, during, and after. It’s just so gross and gives me the ick.” You shuddered as Austin patted your leg, “The first time she threw up in front of us, she cried because of how grossed out she was.”

“That was traumatizing for all of us,” Rudy explained, “we were out on a boat and she just went very pale and threw up. Everywhere. We had no idea what had happened and then she just started bawling her eyes out. We all started panicking, thinking something was wrong but then she said how she hated throwing up and it just…it killed the whole vibe.”

You chucked the marker cap at Rudy, who ducked but went to retrieve it, “Sorry that being seasick killed the vibe, dillhole.”

Letting out a laugh at the nest question, you looked over at Drew and shook your head, “you’re not allowed to answer this one. You’ll get the answer right away.”

“I’ve known all of these, baby,” he winked and your face went red as you hid it behind the card, “just trying to give them a chance.”

“You guys gross me out.” Madelyn teased, looking between you two

“What is my favorite show to binge?” You asked, but you wrote down two possible answers.

“That 70s show is one.” Chase answered, “I always hear the theme song in your trailer and you quote it constantly.”

“You also watch the walking dead a lot too.” JD added, pointing to Chase, “you yell at your laptop a lot.”

“Dude, you have no idea how long it took me to get used to her yelling at the tv.” Drew told him, “the first time she did it, I thought she was pissed at me for no reason but she was just watching the walking dead.”

Everyone started talking about how into your shows you get, causing you to hold up your hands in protest, “Okay, okay! There’s nothing wrong with being passionate about movie and tv shows. But yes, that 70s show and the walking dead are my go to.”

“Two complete opposite shows, by the way.” Madison pointed out

“Oo, how many tattoos do I have?”

Everyone went quiet as they stared at you, no doubt picturing the tattoos that laid under your clothes. You had been purposely asked to wear a long sleeve top and pants to not let them get the answer so easily.

“I wanna say…12?” Carlacia asked, tilting her head at you, “Most of them are on your right arm but I know you have a few on your left. You have the fairy wings on your back…”

“I know you have a dinosaur on your leg because I drew a hat on it last week.” Austin answered, causing you to look up from writing your answer, furrowing your eyebrows at him, “you drew a hat on Terrance?”

“You named the dinosaur Terrance?” JD laughed as you nodded, “Terrance the triceratops.”

“Terry, for short.” Drew added, pointing at you as you nodded

“I wanna say 10 or 15.” Madison said, leaning forward, “I know you got P4L after season 2 came out.”

“You only had like 2 when the show started.”

“There’s a few you guys don’t know about cause they’re always covered.” You told them, going over your answer. Drew didn’t even miss a beat with his response, “Well, they don’t. But I do.”

“Okay! Who’s next?!”

#outer banks #drew starkey #rafe cameron #drew starkey imagine #rafe cameron imagines #rafe cameron imagine #outer banks imagines #rafe obx #outer banks imagine #rafe cameron smut #obx #obx rafe #drew starkey smut #drew starkey imagines #obx rafe cameron #obx3 #outer banks x reader #drew starkey x reader #rafe cameron x reader

[unseededtoast]

Masterlist

This is a masterlist of my works I've posted so far! As of right now, all of my fics/oneshots are cross-posted on AO3 and Wattpad if you prefer those formats!

I apologize in advance for an inconsistent upload schedule; my job is quite time demanding. But I am thankful for your patience, and I try my hardest to make the waits worthwhile.

-----

Joel Miller

Turtle Doves:

Summary: In which two broken souls connect so deeply, that if one should perish, the other would surely die of a broken heart. Updates every weekend.

Bucky Barnes

Rectify:

Summary: I've lived every day for the past five years looking over my shoulder. I knew they'd come for me, it was inevitable. I was foolish to think I could outrun my past. It's followed me everywhere I go, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Never would I have anticipated that the shadows would lead me to the light.

Antedate: Prequel to Rectify

Summary: Sometimes making the right decision feels like the wrong one. That decision can stick with you for years and leave you wondering what would happen if you had chosen something else. But the alternatives likely lead to a much darker path; you'll never know for sure though. One thing is for certain, the decisions I have made will have lasting consequences.

Spencer Reid

All works are Reid x F! Reader

Oneshots:

See How It Shines:

Summary: In which you leave the Quantico office for your "dream job" only to find you lost much more than you gained. Based off Hozier's song "Abstract"

One Bright Morning:

Summary: After the most traumatic experience of your life, Spencer guides you through the darkness to one bright morning that changes everything between the two of you. Based off Hozier's song "First Light"

Light As A Feather:

Summary: The gravity of your job begins getting to you, and you come to realize you've forgotten how beautiful life can be. And one tranquil night, it's like Spencer is able to lift the weight and makes you feel light as a feather. Based off Hozier's song "I, Carrion (Icarion)".

We'll Be Alright:

Summary: In which you discover that the line between love and hate is quite fine. Your actions are done out of love, but they only make you hate yourself more and more. Inspired by "Fine Line" by Harry Styles

Begin Again:

Summary: In which things abruptly ended between you and Spencer, and you’ve never been able to reconcile your emotions over the relationship, or losing him. When presented a second chance on a silver platter, you’re grateful for the chance to begin again. Based off Hozier’s song “All Things End”.

I’ve Got My Eye On You:

Summary: A piece of Spencer Reid died the day Tobias Hankle kidnapped and tortured him. Seeing your friend in desperate need of help, you take it upon yourself to keep an eye on him and help him every step of the way. Inspired by “Say Yes To Heaven” by Lana Del Rey.

When Was It Over?:

Summary: You had suspicions that another woman was receiving Spencer’s affections, and one night your worst fears are confirmed. Heartbroken, you try to move on but find yourself contemplating when things went wrong, and when it was all over. Inspired by “Is It Over Now?” By Taylor Swift

I'd Wait For You:

Summary: In which you find that a broken engagement leads you to the love of your life. Inspired by “J’s Lullaby” by Delaney Bailey.

Thin Air:

Summary: In which you realize how much you lost when you accepted a new job, and that you may be destined to only share fleeting moments with the one who has your heart.

Multi-Parts:

1.Shadow of Obsession:

Summary: In which you find that love is an obsession that can quickly spiral out of control. Multi-part series

(Part One | Part Two)

2. I Stayed There:

Summary: After an eye-opening case, Spencer realizes that his job puts you in too much danger. Loving you too much to put you in harm's way, he does the only thing he can think of that would ensure your safety. Years pass by slowly, and neither you nor Spencer are able to move on. Inspired by “Right Where You Left Me” by Taylor Swift. (Part 1/2)

Take My Hand:

Summary: In which almost a decade later unlikely paths cross again, with little time to make big decisions. What once was broken can be mended, and the past can be forgiven. Frozen hearts can be reignited and destined souls can become one again. But only if given the chance. Inspired by “Right Where You Left Me” and “Willow” by Taylor Swift. (Part 2/2)

3. Glimpse Of Us:

Summary: After a painful breakup, you and Spencer try and move on, but find yourselves seeking out each other in different people. Inspired by "Glimpse Of Us" by Joji. (Part 1/2)

All I Know:

Summary: Five years after leaving Spencer Reid, it seems that fate might have given you a second chance. Inspired by "Everything Has Changed" by Taylor Swift/Ed Sheeran (Part 2/2)

#bucky barnes #masterlist #fanfiction #fanfic masterlist #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #bucky barnes x oc #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfic

[justwearthegoddamncardigan]

Hi how are you? I just finished the maze runner and I am in love with newt but sadly he died…I’m traumatized lmao and heart broken so I really wanna request newt x reader I have a plot in my mind like in the end you’re the only one with newt Thomas has gone with Minho and you have no choice but to cut your wrist to give him your blood you don’t know if it’s going to work or not and you passed out because of blood lost, And you kinda wake up at the end thinking newt has gone so you went to the nearby heal to cry alone then like someone puts a jacket on you, you turn around and he’s there (giving the night we met song vibe) like the first day you came up to the glade and you were scared and newt put his jacket over you like that

I’m not good at explaining but I hope you understand

I love your work and I have read all of your newt x reader works

thank you and have a great day!

HELLO this was requested months ago I'm so so sorry it took such a long time. I was so excited to write this idea when I read it in my inbox, thank you for requesting! Hope you enjoy :)

The night we met

Established Newt x gender neutral!reader

Set during tdc + flashback to tmr (movieverse)

Warnings: blood and injury, extremely fake medical procedures, language

The Gladers' laughter echoes into the sky, and you stand outside the circle of raucous celebration.

Despite the hot night air, you shiver at the sound of metallic screeches beyond the walls of the Maze; the walls of this trap.

You stand there, shaking slightly, until you feel something warm and soft being placed around your shoulders, and you turn and see him.

"You 'right there, Greenie?"

You remember Newt placing a gentle hand on your shoulder that night; your first night in the Glade, and offering quiet comforting words.

You remember the glow of firelight casting his hair into a halo, and that was the moment he became your guiding light, your beacon of warmth.

His hands are cold now, his eyes staring unseeingly into darkness.

“Y/n.” Minho’s voice is broken, choked in a way you’ve never heard before. “We have to- we’ve gotta follow Thomas.”

No. “I won’t leave him,” you say.

“Y/n…”

“I won’t,” you repeat. “We- we have to bring his body back. I can’t leave him like this.”

“We can’t just drag him there,” says Gally, gently, in his best attempt to be comforting.

“You guys go on,” you say. “Come back for us later.”

Minho exchanges a look with Frypan.

“Please,” you whisper.

Brenda reaches out a hand to squeeze your shoulder as she goes, and the four of them reluctantly leave you there, following Thomas' path towards WCKD.

Gone. The reality comes crashing down as you sit with Newt, alone, and something in you snaps.

The tears pour steadily faster, and you scrub then away roughly. “I’m sorry,” you whisper thickly. “I’m so sorry.”

“Damn it. You can't leave me like this,” you tell him. You card your fingers through his hair. “I love you. I love you, and I need you. I can't live without you, Newt.”

“Newton.” Newt wrinkles his nose as you reach up and ruffle his hair, and you laugh at his scrunched up face.

“What? Newt’s gotta come from some other name." You hum slightly, face tilted with an exaggerated thinking expression. "Newtie?”

“Slim it, shuckface.” He grabs your hand out of the air and keeps it tightly clutched in his so you can’t mess with his hair. You grin at the tiny smile on his face, and wiggle your fingers in his grip.

You reach for the knife in his chest, gripping it against your palm and pulling it out, before draping your gloves over the wound to cover it.

You wipe the blackened blood on your pants, swallowing bile as you gaze at the smear.

Blood. Blood. What if…

Teresa said Thomas’ blood was the cure, but what if yours works too?

You gaze at the knife in your hands.

“You’d say I’m stupid for doing what I’m about to do,” you tell Newt. “But I think I’d do anything right about now, if it could bring you back.”

You cut into your wrist, bright red blood springing out immediately.

Shuck, where do I-

You expose the chest wound again and pour your blood into it. Please, please work.

More, you need more. You cut your other wrist open and Newt’s too. Get it into his veins.

Your vision starts to blur at the edges, as you pour your blood into Newt, trying to pour life back into him.

You feel yourself fading, and you fumble to bandage your wrists quickly before letting yourself fall into darkness, slumping against the boy you love. Please come back to me.

⭒----⭒

You wake up slowly, fighting to cut through the haze in your mind.

As you sit up, your eyes fall on Newt, still lying beside you, unmoving.

He's gone. Stupid. Stupid to think you could've brought him back.

Suddenly you can't look at his face anymore. You lurch to your feet and stumble away, walking out of this shadowed place, out of the building, away from the streets.

You end up sitting on some hill nearby, alone in the grass hugging your knees, the wind blowing through your hair and drying the tears as they flow down your face.

You don't know how long you sit there, before you feel something being placed on your shoulders, the action achingly familiar.

You don't turn at first, not wanting to hope, until you hear a soft "Alright there, Greenie?"

You whip around, and there he is. Kneeling in the grass beside you, a smile on his face and tears in his eyes.

A sob escapes your throat as you dive towards him, throwing your arms around his body, feeling it warm, solid, alive.

The force of your body colliding with Newt's knocks him into the ground, flat on his back against the grass, but he just laughs and pulls you closer, his arms tight around you as you feel him press his face into your hair.

"Newt-"

"I'm here, I'm sorry,"

You shake your head, pulling back to look at his face.

It's gone, you realise, running your thumb across his cheek. The black veins that were streaked across him just hours ago have faded.

"You're okay," you murmur, more for yourself than him.

Newt smiles. "Yeah, I'm okay." He leans up, closer to you, and captures your mouth in a kiss. He tastes of black bitterness and salt, but you chase his lips anyway, until you're both out of breath.

You break apart as you hear static in your walkie-talkie. "...Y/n, you there?"

You grab the device to reply, one hand still clasped in Newt's. "Yeah, I'm here."

"Where?" asks Minho. "We're back where you were earlier; Jorge and Vince found us at WCKD, we've got a Berg nearby, but Thomas got shot so we have to get going."

"I'm just on a hill nearby," you tell him. "I'll come to you, stay there."

You turn to Newt. "You ready?"

He nods. "Yeah, let's go."

⭒----⭒

You walk in together, and you see the moment everyone's faces change, snapping to shock.

Minho's eyes jump to yours, like he's asking for confirmation, and you nod, a smile forming on your face.

Newt gives a little wave, almost nervously, and then Minho moves, dropping the gun in his hands and charging towards Newt, grabbing him into a hug.

Brenda's next, punching Newt in the arm before embracing him tightly, then Gally, and then Frypan, who doesn't let go until Minho butts in with a "alright guys, we should probably get going, Tommy's bleeding out, and we've got a safe haven to get to."

Newt holds your hand in his, tossing his free arm over Minho's shoulder. "Yeah, let's get going. Let's go home."

Thank you to @jinjinchouxcream for the brilliance behind this fic idea <3

#the maze runner #newt x reader #newt x you #tmr newt x reader #tmr newt #my writing

[storiesforallfandoms]

not what it looks like ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 1812

request?: yes!

“Hi I was wondering if you could do one for colson, Where the r goes through his latest dm for a tik tok trend and it's megan flirting with him ,and so reader confront s him. They get into a huge fight like legit throwing stuff around the house ,and r stays in the guest bedroom but he wants to Apologize. So he finds the key ,and preferably make up with hot angry smut if your up for it. Thank you for your time - anon🪅”

description: in which she finds a suspicious message when she goes through his dms

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing, hints of cheating but no actual cheating has occurred, fighting and yelling (no actual yelling and throwing stuff tho sorry), rpf

masterlist (one, two, three)

You often found yourself wanting to try whatever couple’s trend was going around on TikTok, and Colson was always game. He liked how excited you got to show him, and how happy you were whenever e said yes to trying a trend. It was never anything you did to post online, you only did it for your own enjoyment. It was all innocent fun.

You thought this trend was going to be the same. Oh, how wrong you were.

Colson was basically expecting the question when he heard your phone go silent in the next room and your footsteps approaching. He turned to watch the doorway and smiled when you predictably appeared.

“Can I see your latest DM?” you asked.

He raised an eyebrow. “Is that the trend, or should I be worried about where this is coming from?”

“No! It’s a trend!” you assured him.

He laughed. “Okay. Here.”

He passed you his phone. You took it and sat on the couch next to him. He turned his attention back to the song he had been writing as he let you do whatever you wanted to do.

The trend you had seen was simple: someone asked their partner if they could see the last text message on their phone. It always went one of two ways: either the last text was something mundane or funny, or it was something incriminating. You had no fears about what could be on Colson’s phone, especially when he was so quick to pass it over to you. So you decided to look at his latest Instagram DM instead. You figured it would be funny to see what fans had been saying to him recently.

What you didn’t expect was for there to be a message from a verified account. An account that you knew.

Megan Fox.

But it wasn’t the account itself that brought you pause. It was the message preview.

“I had a great ti - ”

You clicked the message without a second thought. The full message read, “I had a great time yesterday. Let me know when you want to do it again!” The message was followed by a ink emoji and a smiling devil emoji.

Your mind was running a million miles a second. What could the message mean? Well, clearly it meant Megan and Colson had met up at some point the day before, and planned to meet again. You couldn’t remember what Colson had told you he was doing the day before, so you couldn’t think of what possible reason there was for them to be together. Especially something that would require a wink and devil emoji. Unless...

No. There was no way. Colson would never cheat on you. He loved you and he was loyal to you. You had no reason to doubt that.

At least, you didn’t until you saw Megan’s message.

You were having so much internal turmoil that you didn’t realize how long you had just been staring at Colson’s phone. He looked over to find you frozen and lightly nudged you with his shoulder.

“Is the last message that traumatizing?” he teased. When you didn’t respond, worry sunk in. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

You held the phone out to him. He took it and started reading the message that was still on the screen. “What does this mean?”

His face didn’t show any signs of panic or guilt. You figured that should be a good sign, right? He wasn’t acting as if you caught him in a lie or anything. But then again, he could just be having a very good poker face.

“We had her in a video yesterday,” he replied. “It was crazy. You’ll love it when you see it.”

You nodded, but your mind was still distant. Had he told you he was filming yesterday? Not that he had to tell you everything he ever did. You were both adults, you didn’t need to keep tabs on one another. But he usually told you about his video shoots, or anything to do with his music. You figured he would’ve told you about having Megan Fox in one of his videos especially. That was a huge deal.

He gave you a look. “Do you not believe me?”

“I didn’t say that,” you said.

“You didn’t say anything. Babe, why would I lie?”

You didn’t point out the obvious: that he’d lie because he’s cheating. But he read your expression and said, “I’m not cheating on you.”

“You wouldn’t tell me if you were,” you blurted.

Colson looked at you. A humorless chuckle escaped his lips. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you’d think I was cheating on you. I have never given you any reason to think I would, and now because of this one message that I already explained to you, you think I’m cheating?”

“Well what else am I supposed to think when I see a message on your phone from another woman saying she had a ‘great time yesterday’ and adding flirty emojis?”

Colson rolled his eyes and stood from the couch. You did the same, following him out of the room. “Where are you going?”

“Why? Are you afraid I have Megan hidden in the next room?”

“Okay, maybe I am overreacting, but can’t you see this from my point of view? You have a message from another woman saying you were together yesterday. That she wants to meet up with you again. How else am I supposed to take that?”

“You’re supposed to believe me because I’m telling you nothing fucking happened! We got Megan for a video shoot and the video had to do with her playing a crazy stalker. That’s why she sent the devil emoji. There is nothing between us!”

You stepped back at his raised tone. You felt a lump forming in your throat. Maybe you were being irrational. Maybe you should’ve taken the explanation that Colson gave you and believed him. But he didn’t need to yell at you like that. He had never yelled at you before, not even during past arguments.

You choked back the lump and said, “You can’t blame me for thinking the worst when I saw that message. It sounds flirty, like you two were together in an intimate scenario yesterday. And I know you’ve never given me any reason to think you’d cheat, but cheating isn’t an obvious thin, Colson! Cheaters don’t announce they’re cheating every time they leave the house. I’m sorry for accusing you, but you can’t blame me when I saw that message with no context, from a woman way more beautiful than I could ever be. Silly me for thinking you wouldn’t want to fuck Megan Fox of all people.”

You turned before he could say anything else and nearly ran up the stairs to your shared bedroom. Maybe you were childish for running to your room to escape an argument and cry, but now that you had voice your insecurities out loud, you needed to get away and allow your emotions to run free.

That was really what this was all about: your own insecurities. You had always been insecure about the women Colson was surrounded by. He was a famous rapper, he had gorgeous groupies throwing themselves at him at every show. He was linked with actresses and other female musicians that you found to be so much more beautiful than you. You were terrified of the day when he realized he could do so much better than you and broke up with you for one of the beautiful women he was surrounded by almost daily.

You were laid on your bed, the tears seeming to finally run out when you heard Colson’s footsteps approaching the room. You sat up and tried to wipe your face before he found you, but you were sure your attempts were for nothing. Your face was definitely puffy and tear stained beyond a quick fix. Colson stood in the doorway, looking at you with a hint of sadness in his eyes as well. You couldn’t look at him for long before you gaze dropped to your lap.

“I’m sorry,” you said, your voice so soft it was almost a whisper.

“No, baby, don’t be sorry,” he said. He walked over to sit on the bed next to you. “How long have you felt like this?”

“Like what?” you asked, even though you knew exactly what he meant.

“Like what you said about Megan being more beautiful than you. There’s no way that just suddenly came out of you just then.”

You sighed and shook your head. “I’ve felt it for...a long time.”

“Like how long?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. It just started happening. One second I didn’t care about anyone else in the world, and then the next I was seeing the way other women looked at you and how they talked about wanting you. Then I started to notice how beautiful they all were.”

He gently took your chin in his hand and made you look up at him. “But you’re beautiful.”

You scoffed. “Yeah, but I’m not Megan Fox.”

“I don’t give a fuck. Megan isn’t who I want. Neither are any of the women who try and throw themselves at me while I’m on tour, or any models or actresses or musicians ever. I want you. I’ve always wanted you, and only you. You are the most beautiful person in the world to me and no one will ever change that. I would never hurt you by sneaking around with someone else. You are my everything.”

Tears were starting to form in your eyes again. You leaned into Colson’s arms, burying your head in his chest so he wouldn’t see you crying again. He put his arms around you and held you to him, allowing you to go through whatever emotions you were feeling.

You had been stupid to think he was cheating. You knew that even in the moment. But, your mind was so clouded with the message from Megan and your own insecurities that you weren’t thinking clearly. You felt silly about it now, but you were glad to have talked it through with Colson and to have cleared the air.

“What did you have Megan do you to that she sent you a devil emoji?” you asked when you finally were able to stop the tears and pull away from his chest.

“She tied me up and electrocuted me in a bathtub,” he responded.

You laughed. “What?!”

“I’m being dead serious. That’s just one scene. The whole video is her essentially just torturing me. She had a blast with it. I’m a little concerned that she’s so eager to do it again.”

You giggled and leaned into his embrace again. The two of you laid back on the bed as Colson recounted the shoot from the day before.

#machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #machine gun kelly x reader #colson baker #colson baker x reader #colson baker imagine #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom #rpf

[phoebepheebsphibs]

Overanalyzing Mikey's fear

This post will be a bit vague, since most of Mikey's fears are connected to an unrevealed piece of lore... but I'll try to explain it as best I can

Living on the streets, Mikey obviously had to turn to unscrupulous means to survive. You may notice that when I refer to Leo, I call him a "petty thief". But I don't refer to Mikey as such, I call him a "con artist". Why the difference? Because Mikey has morals in him. Misguided and backwards, but they are there. Leo's driving moral is survival, so he has no problem taking whatever he wants. Mikey's conscience won't allow him to do that, so rather than steal outright, he tricks people to give him their belongings. His argument? "If they're dumb enough to fall for it, then I earned it and they deserve to lose it!" So, to reiterate, Mikey has morals but they are strained due to his life on the streets.

Mikey wants to be a good person, if only for his family's sake. He wants to set a good example of what a family should be, and what better example than himself? Like the song says, "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make that change!" So, Mikey desperately attempts to be as perfect as he can. But, perfection is difficult to attain, and it brings a heavy weight on one's shoulders. Even so, Mikey has been carrying that weight since his early childhood...

Leo and Mikey have always been together, ever since Leo found his little brother in the alley. But their experiences in families has been vastly different (as we'll see in the next fear fungus update). Mikey was always the golden child, Leo the troublemaker. Mikey found that being the good kid was more favourable in order to get a family, so that was a big motivator to be perfect as well. It was never enough, though...

NOW ONTO THE LORE. In the comic, Mikey mentions "the teapot", and Donnie refers to it as "the emotionally traumatizing lore drop". I don't want to divulge too much, but I will say that Mikey stole something he never should have, felt badly about it, and when he tried to make amends, things went terribly wrong. Immediately afterwards, he was kidnapped by Draxum. But specifically, let's focus on Mikey's attempt to redeem his mistake. It failed catastrophically, which he did not expect. He truly believed that his coming clean about his misdeed would make it better, but instead it made it worse. The person he wronged? They blew up at him. They were enraged, furious! And he didn't expect that, because he was starting to think of this person as family. And Mikey had always believed that when a person apologizes, you forgive them! But his forgiveness was withheld, and Mikey was crushed by this fact. And so, he ran away... and unknowingly ran straight into the clutches of his creator...

OKAY NOW HERE'S THE BIG ONE. Sadly... I can't tell you the reasoning behind this. But let's look into the psychological aspect of it, shall we? Both Mikey and Donnie view Draxum as a monster, the most evil person they have ever known. Why? Because they both went through the same traumatic experience with him together! I think it is very interesting that while Donnie was afraid he would never live up to his father's standards, Mikey was terrified that he had surpassed them. The most evil, cruel, monstrous person Mikey had ever known told HIM that HE was "wretched, awful, evil, he told me I was a BAD PERSON". Whatever it was that Mikey did... he feels that it is unredeemable, unforgivable, even worse than the "teapot incident".

But to bring this back to a wholesome note -- because if we don't then Dr. Feelings will have my head -- Donnie helped Mikey understand that what he did was not unredeemable. He is not unforgivable. And from Donnie's perspective, Mikey is his hero, simply because he rescued him from a bad situation. More than once... but that's a story for another lore drop!

@boots-with-the-fur-club @daboyau

#fear of being a bad person #rottmnt #rottmnt until i found you #until i found you #until i found you au #rottmnt separated au #separated au #rottmnt mikey #overanalyzing #lets get into it #rottmnt michelangelo #michelangelo #writing angst #writing fears #writing whump #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles fanfic #rottmnt fanfic #writing therapy

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack - Songs to Listen to While Descending into Madness

Hey, remember when I found Ian's perfect theme song for Sunshine in Hell? Well, I found one that fits Joseph's descent into madness and embracing the personality of Jack. Maybe I should make a playlist specifically for Sunshine in Hell sometime...

Not only does it have this manic energy that switches to disturbing and somber, a lot of the lyrics really give me the vibe of the suffering Joseph went through as he tore away at his very identity to become someone and something else.

When did I become afraid of the dark? Are my eyeballs just yet to adjust to seeing the light? The room I'm in is still the same, the shadows have not rearranged it No, the only thing that's changed is how I see at night I fumble for the switch and strap on infrareds and wish For sunshine when the morning's somewhere else But I can't change what time it is or dilate my irises Only what I look at, and I'm looking at myself I am not the sunshine, I am not the moon at night Well, who else could I be when I can hardly see? I am not the sunshine, I am not the moon at night I'm no one if I'm nowhere in between When did I become afraid of the dark? Was it when I left the cave and swore I'd never go back? If we can't see each other, then there's no more use for hiding I've decided I'll abide it; why deny the color black? I'm not a flower, not a solar-powered calculator Damn my eyes for seeing what's not there I'll trade in vision for a practiced intuition 'Til my fears come to fruition, I'm not scared I am not the sunshine, I am not the moon at night Well, who else could I be when I can hardly see? I am not the sunshine, I am not the moon at night I'm no one if I'm nowhere in between The future must know where you've been The past predicts the state you're in The present did and will not last Is, isn't, was, have, hasn't, has All that I ask is, keep those empty frames If nobody's in them, then no one is to blame For your self-portraits, sign another name Well, who should I be then, if I'll never be the same? I will be my sunshine, I will be my moon at night Who else could I be, when I can't fucking see? I will be my sunshine, I will be my moon at night I'm nowhere now, here's no one now to be And if dreams can come true, what does that say about nightmares? I'll stay awake tonight

It really gives me vibes of the animatic Sauce made where Jack antagonizes Joseph, particularly that high energy of Jack strutting around, being cheerfully scary and threatening. It also reminds me this classic picture of a cheerful Jack and a traumatized dead(?) Joseph.

It even has a sketch updated version you can check out here!

Credit as always goes to the awesome Sauce for their awesome art, characters, and stories. They and the rest of the crew of SnaccPop Studios are a wealth of endless inspiration. Consider joining their patreon, won't you? Just remember - don't repost anything privately posted there!

There's so many lyrics that make me think of Jack's broken mind and the effects of hell had on him. I have to really break it down to show all the different feelings/images that it conjures up, since there is so much here virtually every line.

"When did I become afraid of the dark?" When you were trapped in hell, Joseph. His loneliness was bad while he was alive, but his death made it so, so, so much worse. He's terrified of being alone and forgotten. He can't stand the cold numbness only broken up by pain. It's a night he can never sleep through or wake up from.

"The room I'm in is still the same, the shadows have not rearranged it. No, the only thing that's changed is how I see at night." It didn't get better. Nothing changed in that hell. It just repeated his death and the delusions of his decaying mind. The only thing that changed was himself into someone else, someone who could better handle the madness.

"I fumble for the switch and strap on infrareds and wish, For sunshine when the morning's somewhere else." Joseph struggles desperately somehow, someway to find some sort of light, some hope in hell. Unfortunately, his sunshine Mary is somewhere else, reborn as Alice. All he can do is wish for a miracle.

His sunshine was always like a miracle to him. She found him twice. He prays she'll find him again.

"But I can't change what time it is or dilate my irises, Only what I look at, and I'm looking at myself." Joseph can't change his circumstances. He can't feel anything but cold and pain, no matter how much he struggles. He's helpless.

The only thing Joseph can do is relive his death and look inward into an ever growing abyss that stares back at him. That abyss, that hell is changing him because he can't do anything but stare inward.

Joseph only has himself in this hell, and the longer he stares at himself, the more he hates what he sees.

"I am not the sunshine, I am not the moon at night." Joseph isn't as good as his sunshine was, in his opinion. He's not even as good as a fraction of her, like the sunlight is reflected on the moon. He doesn't even have a glimmer of her light either.

"I'm no one if I'm nowhere in between." In a way, he is nowhere, trapped between life and death. Joseph/Jack was erased. He became no one.

"When did I become afraid of the dark? Was it when I left the cave and swore I'd never go back?" Jack swore never to go back into the tape, never to be Joseph ever again. He's terrified of being alone, and he refuses to ever be alone and forgotten ever again.

"I've decided I'll abide it; why deny the color black?" Joseph gives into his darker impulses, his madness, his yandere side. He'll do anything to be free of this hell, to have his sunshine back.

Even if that means staining his soul irreparably with sin by torturing and killing others to do it.

He'll be damned to hell either way. He knows that from experience.

"Damn my eyes for seeing what's not there." When someone is put through sensory deprivation, they hallucinate, make up alternate personas, and the like. Jack himself was confused at first when the tape was played, asking if MC/Alice really was real, that he wasn't just dreaming.

How many times did Jack imagine someone was really there to save him, only to be disappointed by a cruel reality that he was still trapped in hell?

"I'll trade in vision for a practiced intuition. 'Til my fears come to fruition, I'm not scared." These lines sum up the whole Jack persona. He'll bury himself in that cheerful façade in order to deny his own fears that he'll be trapped in hell forever. He'll lose himself in a dream of his own making since he can never sleep again.

The only way to avoid being scared of an eternity in hell is denial, denial, denial.

"Well, who else could I be when I can hardly see?" He's Jack. He can't see himself as Joseph anymore. His mind can't handle it. He's blinded himself to his real identity by burying memories of anything else.

"The future must know where you've been." This feels like the video tape. The few traces left of what happened in the incident of 1984.

"The past predicts the state you're in." All the mistakes Joseph made and the few things that made him happy with himself are the reasons why he became Jack.

"The present did and will not last." Time is cruel, constantly marching forward and erasing the past. Jack lost everything so many times. He lost his identity, his dreams, his sunshine, and his life. Everything was lost so easily... how can he not dread losing it all again?

"All that I ask is, keep those empty frames." If nothing else, Jack is desperate to be remembered. Even if the person in the picture isn't himself anymore, he's desperate for at least some trace of him is remembered, even if it's this caricature of the character he played.

"If nobody's in them, then no one is to blame." A reference to LambsWork Productions covering up the part they played in Jack's death or the scandal the 1984 incident created. They can't have their reputation ruined if no one remembers the SunnyTime Crew Show after all.

"For your self-portraits, sign another name." This makes me think of all the autographs Joseph had to sign as "Sunny Day Jack." The character had his face, his voice... but it was a different name. He couldn't break character, because the character was what people loved. It's another reason why he's Jack now instead of Joseph.

"Well, who should I be then, if I'll never be the same?" Joseph Cullman is missing. [Redacted] Haberdae is dead and erased. He can't go back to being either. Who should he be? What name or persona should he use that will give him peace?

"Who else could I be, when I can't fucking see?" What is left for him but to be Sunny Day Jack? He has nothing else but that persona in this hell.

"I'm nowhere now, here's no one now to be." This line sums up Jack's state in the tape. He's nowhere, and he doesn't know how to be himself anymore. He is nothing... so he'll be the character he played.

He doesn't know how to be Joseph anymore because he can no longer see the good qualities he had as Joseph. Everything good was attributed to Jack in his mind, even his sunshine's love.

"I will be my sunshine, I will be my moon at night." He will be Sunny Day Jack. He will be his own hope, his sunshine. Losing himself to this alternate persona was the only thing he had to cling to in that cold and lonely hell. He clung to it like a piece of driftwood until the splinters dug into his hands and made him bleed madness.

"And if dreams can come true, what does that say about nightmares?" Now this shift makes me think of after Jack is freed and the lingering trauma from being in the tape. It's fitting because it comes after a drastic shift in the song to something somber, slowly building into something almost... hopeful?

His dream of being saved came true... but the nightmare of that hell still haunts him.

What if he goes back?

Jack could, just as easily, be sent away if Alice doesn't want him there. He needs to make sure that never happens.

Can Jack really dare to cling to this hope that he's been given, that this actually is reality?

Was he really saved, or is this just another delusion?

So even though Jack finally can sleep, he's finally safe... his fears still haunt him. He can't truly rest until he's sure, absolutely sure, that he won't lose his sunshine ever again. It's the hope he's desperate to hold onto.

"I'll stay awake tonight." The hell of the tape robbed Jack of his ability to sleep, both in the past and in the present. His trauma and mental scars run deep.

No doubt there were many nights where Jack just laid in bed and watched Alice sleep. He focused on her warmth, her steady breathing. Her heartbeat, her soft skin, her smell...

Alice is real. This sunshine is real. Jack knows that. He knows that deep down in his soul, but...

What if?

Just one minute longer. One second more to reassure himself.

This beautiful person Jack holds close in his arms is his salvation. Alice chose to save him. She promised to never forget him. She promised him forever.

Jack feared that the tape would be his forever.

So even though he's tired, Jack just needs a little bit more, just that extra moment more to drink in Alice with all of his senses so that he can truly believe that she delivered him from damnation.

Joseph is dead. The good parts of him, the light and hope he found in himself as that redacted identity are gone from even his memory. Jack is the only one there now.

Alice is the only sunshine Jack can see now, and he'll do whatever it takes to make sure he never loses that light, his hope, his love ever again.

Of course, during these moments of insecurity, Alice would stir, just a little, and cling to Jack tighter. Sometimes she even murmurs his name softly. She can feel that he needs her love through their connected souls.

The thoughts and feelings flow both ways. Sometimes Alice can pick up what Jack is thinking too, especially when his soul cries out to be seen, heard, felt, and loved.

Even though Jack didn't say a word, Alice heard his thoughts, his deepest need, and answered in a sleepy mumble, "Don't worry... I've got you. 'm not going anywhere..."

The soft words, slurred by a haze of sleep, sent a jolt through Jack, and all the love and gratitude he felt for her washed over him. Even in her dreams she would reach out to him, reassure him that she won't let him go. Even when in moments when his fear made their connection feel so tenuous, so fragile, all it took was a soft squeeze of her delicate hand always holding so gently onto his to quiet his fears.

Alice won't remember what she said in the morning, or anything else she mutters in a half-asleep haze, but she'll always remember Jack. She'll remember this man, no matter what name he uses, no matter what the fractured picture of his sanity looks like now. Their love is forever.

Even if Jack can't find the light in the man he used to be, even if the light of the good parts of Joseph are dead, buried, and forgotten in his mind... Jack can always believe in Alice, his sunshine. As long as he has her, he doesn't have to fear the dark or that he'll be banished back to hell.

Jack has the light of hope. It's in his sunshine Alice, and in the persona he wears. Most of all, it's in their love that lived on even after death.

Fortunately, over time, Alice will help him see that the light was always there even when he went any other name. With her help, he'll be able to finally find true peace and rest his weary soul in the gentle sunshine of their love. He'll finally be able to heal and truly shine in spite of the darkness.

Yeah, I know the song ends on a more somber note, but I'm all about happy endings and fluffy vanilla goodness. I couldn't help but add on a bit of a sweet reprise of sorts, even if not in so many lyrics. Sunshine in Hell is all about these wounded soulmates helping each other heal after all.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Sauce-y Art

[starsandhughes]

The View Between Villages

summary: trevor finds you in the middle of a break down, and you finally open up to him.

pairing: trevor zegras x reader

WARNINGS: PAST SELF HARM MENTIONED, SCARS, CRYING, DIVORCE, SCREAMING, BAD PARENTAL RELATIONSHIPS (PARTICULARLY FATHERS), POLICE INVOLVEMENT, WEAPONS MENTIONED, RUNNING AWAY, PET DEATH MENTIONED, PSYCH WARD MENTIONED, (please tell me if i missed any i went really heavy with this one to *cope*)

ps. i wrote this and didn’t edit or reread this whole thing might be a typo and i wouldn’t know

word count: ~2.4K

MASTERLIST

Trevor had yet to see you break.

He’d seen you cry, sure. He’s seen you frustrated, maybe a little angry, he’s seen you cry over a sad movie or just on a really bad day.

But your precious, happy, more radiant than the sun boyfriend had yet to see you break. And it was… probably as traumatizing for him as it was for you to see you a sobbing mess on the bathroom floor when he came home early from a roadie.

You didn’t hear him come running into the bathroom when he finally figured out where you were, so you certainly didn’t hear him enter through the front door.

It was stupid, really. At least, you felt it was. A song triggered everything you’d been trying to forget to come flowing back and throttle your emotions head on. A song! You hadn’t cried in so long, and you know crying is good for you, so you kept replaying the song over and over for an hour now, and the subtle tears slowly lit the flames of the matches leading up to a giant mental break down. So, to say Trevor wasn’t expecting to find you as an indescribable mess is an understatement.

“Y/N?!” he shouted. He was instantly on his knees knelt next to your scrunched up form.

Your knees were tucked under you, and your upper body was bent forward so your face was practically touching the ground. The only thing keeping your face from falling to the cold tile were your elbows propping you up, while your hands were digging into your hair as you slowly rocked.

The View Between Villages had to be on its thirty-something-eth run by now. Trevor stood up to turn off your speaker, but you gripped at his forearm to stop him.

“No! No, Trevor, I’m not-“

Your voice was cut off by your own gasps of breath. You weren’t hyperventilating, but you weren’t exactly breathing steadily either. Trevor looked down at you with the most shocked and pained look on his face you’d ever seen. His mouth trickled open as his lips wobbled at this sight of you. Your face had to blood shot red at this point, with tears coating the lower half.

“Not what, y/n?” Trevor asked, voice filled with urgency and concern.

“I have to get it out, Z, I’m not done crying!”

The lyrics went on.

The cars in reverse, I’m gripping the wheel. I’m back between villages, and everything’s still.

Images that weren’t real to you, only visualizations of memories told to you, flooded your vision again at the last line of the song. You were sitting up now with your knees pulled tight to your chest. Your hand flew to your mouth as more wracked sobs came out. Trevor wasted no time in getting up to turn off the speaker this time, despite your attempts of protests.

Trevor flew behind you and pulled you into his lap. He tried to pry your hands away from your hair, but it took great effort from him because he didn’t want to risk you physically pulling your hair out. Luckily, that wasn’t something you ever planned to do, and your hands gave in. His palms held onto the back of your hands and his arms wrapped around your middle, taking yours with. You pulled your knees in tighter and laid your forehead on them against the pressure of Trevor holding you tight to his chest.

“I wasn’t done! I have to get it out! I HAVE TO GET IT OUT!”

Then came the screams. Not shouts, you weren’t yelling. There weren’t even words accompanying the screams. You could’ve been featured on the soundtrack of a horror movie with how intense your screams were.

“Get what out, y/n/n? Tell me! What’s happening?”

Your head flew back against his shoulder, catching him off guard. Your body was extremely tight that you were practically writing in pain in Trevor’s lap.

“Let it out to me, tell me. What’s happening, love? I’ve never seen you like this,” he asked lowly. He was staying steady for you.

“I’m sorry,” you sobbed. Your breathing was getting heavier now.

“No, baby, don’t be sorry, it’s alright. I’m just concerned, okay? What happened? Why were you listening to that song over and over?”

“It brought things back,” you shuddered out.

“Brought what back, baby?” He was rubbing your arms up and down with a lot of pressure to try and help relax your muscles, and you could feel him exaggerating his breathing so that you could feel it from behind.

“Everything,” you whispered. “Everything bad that I’ve been running from. The last part of the song is a little too accurate for me, and if opened a floodgate.”

Trevor stayed quiet for a minute. He just rubbed your arms up and down until he felt you finally start to ease up a little before moving up to your shoulders.

“Just breathe with me for a second, okay?”

He started to take even more exaggerated steady breaths with you. In for four, hold for four, and then out for four.

You looked up to find a very concerned looking Jamie, who apparently came running over when you screamed. Trevor told him that he had this, and Jamie hesitantly stepped away. You completely forgot about him if you were being honest.

“I need you to talk to me,” Trevor breathed out. “Do you wanna go to the couch?”

“I don’t wanna move,” you mumbled.

“Alright. I’ll move for you.”

Trevor picked you up and carried you out into the living room bridal style. He sat down on the couch and pulled you into his lap again, but this time you were on the side. His arms wrapped around you and you leaned into his chest, resting your cheek on his shoulder and tucking yourself into his neck.

“Alright my love, you said you related to the last part of the song you were playing too much, right?” He continued when you nodded against him. “What was the song called?”

“The View Between Villages.”

Trevor nodded and pulled it up, “Let’s take it lyric by lyric then, and you can tell me what came over you specifically for that line. Is that okay? We can stop when you need, but you need to let me in on some of this. It doesn’t have to weigh all on you.”

“Okay,” you quietly agreed.

“‘Past Alger Brook road, I’m over the bridge. A minute from home, but I feel so far from it.’ Anything there?”

“I ran away,” you said blank.

“You what?”

“From my father. It wasn’t the first time I had to leave home, but it was the first time I did it by choice. But I still go see my best friends there. And every time I take that final exit off the interstate, there’s always a part of me that deflates. I grew up there, most of my friends still live there, but it’s not home anymore. It’s where he lives. It’s where I was… um…”

“You don’t have to tell me what you don’t want to right now. You’re doing so great,” he assured you.

“My parents divorced, which happens, but when my father told us on Christmas, things went a little haywire and police got involved. There’s some details in there that I don’t want to dive into right now, but it was pretty bad. The police took all the weapons in the house and placed them on the table while he packed a bag to go into a hotel for the night. And then the next day, my mom took us to live with her since they already lived in separate states.

“I moved back after a few months when he had calmed down because I missed my friends. Things weren’t great, I wasn’t medicated yet, but I had my friends. I lasted a year, and then he threatened to kick me out and throw away all my stuff if I went to see my mom for the Fourth of July. He gave me an ultimatum. So I packed up my stuff and was planning on just leaving, but he found out.

“I thought he was gonna come after me. I called my mom crying, and she called him to get him to calm down. He calmed down, went to bed, and I ran away at 2am and drove through the night to my mom’s house. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since.”

Trevor let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. His arms around you tightened and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“That’s… that’s um… intense,” was what he got out. “I mean I know you don’t talk to your dad anymore but that’s…”

“Yeah.”

“Is that all?”

“Not even close.”

Trevor nodded and continued on reading the lyrics, “‘The death of my dog, the stretch of my skin. It’s all washing over me, I’m angry again.’ Anything there?”

‘The death of my dog’ line was self explanatory, but Trevor already knew that. Sure, you cried when it happened, but not much anymore.

“‘The stretch of my skin’ lyric. It um…”

You got a bit choked up at the idea of telling Trevor this next part. Everything intimate you’ve done has been more or less in the dark with minimal light to still see each other’s features. He hadn’t noticed yet.

“Tell me no,” he said shakily.

“I can’t,” you teared up. “I uh… started in high school. On my wrists. Those you can’t really tell because of the way wrists bend— but my upper thighs? I guess I went deeper than I thought because—“

Trevor held you tighter against his chest when you started to cry harder again. His hand cradled your head and held it against his shoulder as he gently rocked you, “Can I see them?”

“Are you sure?”

Trevor hesitated, “I mean, I’m kind if glad you told me about them first before I saw, because I honestly don’t know which one would be worse. And if I don’t see them now, it’s all I’d be looking for the next time we’re in the bedroom.”

“You don’t have to see them this sec-“

“Y/N, please,” he cut you off.

You took a pause from the trauma dumping to show him the scars. You refused to look at him as he did so. His fingers ever so lightly brushed over some of the more prominent ones and you hitched a breath.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

“Don’t be,” you assured. “I’m clean. For over two years now. You help a lot, Trev. More than you know.”

He nodded and cupped your cheek with his hand, “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Do you wanna stop? I’ve dropped a lot on you in the last ten minutes.”

He urged you to go on, so you continued to the next lyric.

“‘The things that I lost here, the people I knew. They got me surrounded for a mile two.’”

“Everybody’s lost things. Important things. But the things I lost really wrecked me, you know? My innocence. Happiness. I lost a part of myself when I was mentally at my worst. I was admitted to a psych ward, and I overheard my father telling his girlfriend that he thought I just didn’t want to “be a grownup” and was acting out.”

“I’ll kill him.”

“Get in line,” you tried to joke. It didn’t work. For either of you.

“And then for ‘the people i knew,’ I only have two friends that I’ve had since high school, and then their boyfriends, but even friends I met after high school I managed to fuck up and lose them, too. There’s never even conversations about it, they just leave me. Cut me off. It took me so long to open up to you because all of that leaving made me lose hope in people.

“It never happened before, but today that song played and there was just visions of everything. Some were memories, others were my representation of things my father did told to me by my mom. Individually I can take it all; but all together? I broke. And I’m sorry you had to see it.”

Trevor went back to cupping your face. His thumb skimmed across your under eyes to wipe some fresh tears away. He just looked at you. He looked at you fondly.

“You’re so strong, did you know that?”

“Trev, I was just screaming on the bathroom floor over a song.”

“Yeah, because your brain decided to have a mid day showing over everything bad that’s ever happened to you. But you made it through all of that. You’re here. You’re here with me, and with Jamie, and your mom. You’re here because you’re strong. I think you might be the strongest person I know.”

You didn’t say anything back. Not because you weren’t grateful that he said that, because you knew he truly meant it. You just didn’t know what to say. You didn’t even cover everything that has happened to you, but the things you did share was already too much for you, and definitely for him. The rest would come eventually.

“I don’t wanna talk anymore,” you said quietly.

“That’s okay,” Trevor nodded. “How about I call Jimmy down here so he knows you’re okay and we can watch a movie? Does that sound good, love?”

He smiled when you agreed, and seeing the crinkles next to his eyes brought a small smile onto your lips as well. Jamie didn’t make a big deal out of the events that just transpired, which you were beyond thankful for. He just placed a quick kiss on the top of your head and took his seat on the edge of the couch next to your and Trevor’s spot in the middle.

You were barely paying attention to the movie, it was some action one that you didn’t pay attention to the name to when Trevor put it on, but it had Chris Evans in it, so you weren’t mad. You were resting against Trevor’s chest, listening and feeling his steady heartbeat as you purposely began to breathe in sync with him.

He’s here. He’s here, and so are you. And that counts for everything.

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras fic #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras angst #jamie drysdale #anaheim ducks #nhl #nhl imagine #hockey imagine

[kuni-is-daddy]

Ive been reading a lot of yan!scara fics but i was thinking.. how would scara be with a yandere s/o???

Boss! Scaramouche X yandere Assistant/Bodyguard reader PART 2?

OoF. that made my brain stop while i was just 'struggling' writing something anon. U CURED MY WRITERS BLOCK.

where we last left off in the "boss scara series" you confessed to him and made the first move. the both of you began to truly cling onto eachother. but what if y/n finally shows their obsessive behavior..

Scara ranting to childe :((

CAPI'S NOTE: IM TRAUMATIZED. PART 1 GOT A COMMUNITY LABEL :/ now I have to be a little nice in the smut parts. Any advice on how to avoid it is appreciated :)

AM I FREAKING OUT FOR NO REASON? GN😭❌ ITS 12:13AM

BOSS! SCARA. PART1

Part3!

AMAZING ART

Scara masterlist

WORDS 1.2K

MINORS DO. NOT. INTERACT.❌❌❌

Sparring:

i feel like reader would start acting a bit creepy, Like for example Scara would usually just have you wait outside the building for him to come back from changing his attire back into his suit after you two 'spar' but reader insisted to wait for him 'outside the changing room' Scara thought you we're trying to act like a tease as usual and say things around 'hmm? You wanna see more my pet?' or even down right have you suck him off in his personal changing room. When it comes to sparring your always giving him such praise for his strength, its not everyday or..at all. where someone can surpass you of all people. but you just couldnt EVER wrap your head around him~ "Your so strong master~ I never expect anyless from you" You'd both usually spar for around 5+ rounds but scara started to feel..Different about it.

Fighting/Missions:

"Tsk. Another boring ass day coming to aclose.." He'd say while turning off his favorite song, bohemian rhapsody. He adjusts his tie while opening the door to see you with a big smile on your face. With his already needed paperwork you got from his 'bestie' childe. "The fuck is all this?" "Its your paperwork for the week master~ I already filled it all out for you and childe helped me-" He snatched it away from you." "Alright shit..You dont have to act like such a fucking nerd y/n."

The both of you walked through narukami island, through the outskirts to inazuma city while a bunch of nobushi tried to ambush you. With one swift draw of your weapon you murdered them all in one blow. Scara barely shifted his eyes away from his paper. Only to see your bloodthirsty smile as the nobushi rogue samurai began to cough up blood. He was use to seeing and experiencing reactions like this due to him always being around childe when they train within the abyss. But you. Something was off about you lately.

Scara would purposely drag you into the abyss when its usually just him and childe. He whispered to childe, pointed at a group of abyss creatures and said that they 'are after him' and the both of them would watch as you rabidly charged at his 'enemys' like a dog. Blood splatters all over your suit as you laughed at their pathetic attempts to try and get a free hit at you.

Childe

"Hey comrad! How are ya' today?" The ginger said while sitting next to you in the hallway waiting room. "IM great childe! Me and kuni went out to eat today and it was so much fun. Have you seen the way he fights childe? The way he pulls out his katana..." You daydreamed and ranted off about scaramouche to childe. The both of you shared the same bloodthirsty perspective, Weather over your s/o or just in general. But little did you know he put on a happy face infront of you. Scara asked him to 'spy' on you and ask about what the two of you did today and hear your reaction.

---

"Childe something is up with y/n. I dont know why the fuck they keep acting like that."

"Like what? Dont you usually have the same type of attitude scara.. Dont you Like that?"

"Ugh. I knew talking to you was going to be pointless. Childe, I dont know who is more of a fucking burden. You or Y/N."

Then they suddenly heard you knocking on the door. "Kuni!! Are you in their kuni!"

"the fuck-" Scara said under his breath. He halfly opened the door as childe kept quiet.

"Mmm~ master there you are.. I was hoping you could help me with my sparing tonight." You began to open the door farther and push at his tie. "No. im fucking busy." He removed your hand. "Kuni..But your always busy. And didnt i already help you finish your work today?" He sighed at your perseverance. "Y/n. One day im gonna fucking fire you if you keep pissing me off. And the fuck has been up with you lately?" "N-Nothings wrong kuni! I-im sorry. I just wanted to spend more time with you.." That was all you needed to hear to severely apologize for bothering him and went 'home'

"Well shit. Comrad ill leave this up too you :D -" the ginger patted the short mans shoulder and walked towards the door.

"where the fuck are you going?"

"Im going home-"

He looked at childe with a dead expression.

"Hey listen. If this is really a problem to you, Just get rid of y/n. Your stronger then them right? Problem solved."

"Im not going to fucking kill them."

--

Y'all do it 🤪

scara would obviously feel some sort of way about your sudden change in behavior But be entertained at this 'game' he'd play with you. You came off so sweet and well put together. you would apologize and blush at the littlest of things but now you we're addicted to him. You murdered with no hesitation, Every thought you had was about him. You'd send nude pictures of yourself, Even videos to him while he was at meetings of you fingering yourself. But it was nothing he couldnt handle. He knew how to always put you in your place, He already surpassed you in everyway. He was stronger then you and certainly had you wrapped around his finger. He threatened to fire you hundreds of times just to see how fucking scared and how'd much you beg but never did fire you unlike everyone else, Yet every single time your heart would skip a beat at the word. Leaving kuni was something you never wanted to happen. Ever. Kuni concluded that he'd have fun with you for as long as he wanted. He knew dam well you weren't going anywhere unless he chose.

his phone rang.

"What?" Scara answered in annoyance.

"K~kuni i~" He was greeted to the sound of you moaning "im- F-fuck~ Im s' sorry for earlier. Can i be your good pet and make it up for you daddy? Im waiting for you at home"

Scara went to his penthouse and when he opened the door to his room, while taking off his tie. You we're putting on a show for him, face down ass up with 2 of your fingers going back and forth inside your wet hole. "Kuni~ your home....P-please~ I want you inside of me~" "Oh yeah? Is my little slut that desperate f' me?" He took no time taking off his belt and shoving his pants aside to stuff his cock inside of you.

#scaramouche smut #scaramouche headcanons #yandere reader #genshin smut #genshin x reader #genshin x y/n #genshin x you #scaramouche #genshin impact #yandere genshin imagines

[tommysversion]

Fall In Love In A Single Touch. (Modern!Oberyn x F!Reader)

Summary: you have birth trauma, and you’ve been hiding it from Oberyn, until finally it all comes out. (Title from the attached song.)

Warnings: graphic description of cesarean birth / internalised fat phobia / ptsd / graphic description of birth trauma / description of chronic pain & birth injury

Notes: this is entirely a projection of my own experiences. I’m going through a lot in my own healing journey from having a traumatic birth, with a birth injury & other nastiness. Writing this was incredibly healing for me. For any other cesarean mamas who may feel the same way as I do… this is for you.

Everyone always makes it sound like birth is some magical experience, something that, if you’re a uterus owner, completely changes you. They’re right about the second part, but honestly? It’s not always a good thing, not always a good change.

You wouldn’t change this - the actual physical act of bringing your child into the world - don’t regret for a single moment saying yes when Oberyn had told you he wanted more children; his ninth, your first. You’d never really given much thought to how pregnancy would go, having been too concerned with whether you actually could conceive in the first place.

You’d been so scared you wouldn’t be able to, that you’d have to go through the gruelling, painful, expensive rounds of IVF that some of your friends had endured. That Oberyn was beyond wealthy, a literal fucking Prince, didn’t matter. You’d been afraid, not of the cost, but of disappointing him. Of not being able to give him the children he still wanted, and then, even though you knew realistically he would never, the fear that he would leave you for someone who could.

To your absolute shock and delight - both of you - that hadn’t been an issue at all. You’d fallen pregnant easily, and aside from morning sickness that seemed to last all day, things went relatively well. Then you’d gone over term, been induced, and when that had failed to progress? You’d gone in for an emergency cesarean. One minute you’d been breathing in with a mask on your face. The next, you were waking up under a heated blanket. Still dazed when they’d placed your baby in your arms, unsure of who or where you were or what the fuck had just happened to you.

That Oberyn was older than you by two decades and rich meant nothing; he could have left the nurses to care for you, but he insisted on helping you stand, practically hobble like an old woman to the shower, letting you hold onto his shoulders as the water had drenched you both, afraid you’d fall over. He hadn’t let you fall then, had the patience you so desperately needed as your body recovered. You’d thought maybe the incision site would be what took the longest, not factoring in the mental healing you’d have to do, too.

You loved your daughter; watching her eight sisters dote on her made your day, and watching Oberyn with her filled your heart with joy and hope. He had lost Ellaria, which had been unbearably painful for him, and you had come from violence and pain. You had been so afraid that things with him had been too good to be true… only, it wasn’t. He was a good man. Kind and patient and loving, even if he had a sharp tongue and a temper when needed, it had never been directed at you.

Some of his past lovers, friends of his still, talked of how he was rough, how he bit and choked and hurt, but he never raised a hand to you. Had said that he liked having someone to be soft with, and knowing your past? He wouldn’t even consider it.

You knew, deep down, that you’d done what you’d had to do to bring your child safely into the world. You were proud of that. Proud that, when it had come down to it, you had let them lay you down on an operating table and been prepared not to wake up again, made your peace with it, as long as your baby had survived.

But logic doesn’t always win out against the head demons, and you’re too exhausted to battle them as fiercely as you once did, putting all your energy into your child, into loving her with all your heart and soul.

You can’t help but feel like you failed. Like your body failed you. You’re left with stretch marks all over you, which you’re proud of on a good day and loathe on a bad day. Left with a scar that you joke about but secretly worry that your lover finds repulsive. Left four dress sizes bigger than you were before, and too afraid to bear more children just in case. Just in case your body fails again. Rejects your placenta and sends your blood pressure sky rocketing, making you feel like your head is in a vice. You’re afraid of pain you barely remember, and above all? You’re afraid of what it means for your future with Oberyn, who desperately wanted more children with you.

“I’m not about to put you through that again.” He had said, and he had meant it, even if it hurt him. Even if it wasn’t truly what he wanted; you mean more to him than having yet more children. Nine is a good number, he had joked, there had to be an end somewhere.

You feel a burning guilt for that, too. Knowing that your brain has done that amazing thing where it wipes out the pain of labor, of everything you went through. You remember flashes of clinical lighting. Of being lifted from one bed to the operating table. Of a sense of calm in the face of the unknown. While you may not remember, you know he does. Know that he remembers every second that felt like years when you screamed, when you’d felt like you might die from the pain when the drugs stopped working.

And while he pretends it doesn’t hurt? You know it does. Know that while he’s strong, a warrior, a man who’s fought dozens of wars for his country, seeing you like that and unable to help? It almost broke him, too.

It’s part of why you keep your suffering to yourself, incredibly aware that every time you mention it, it brings up those memories for him. They aren’t as easily buried, no matter how much he may flatly say he’s repressing it. Nine daughters between six different women, and he’s never seen a birth as horrific as yours.

He knows you’re struggling, but it doesn’t really get brought up. You skirt around the topic, love each other fiercely, spend all your time together invested in your child. Maybe he’d think you were doing okay, if he didn’t see the emptiness that flickers through your eyes at times. If he didn’t catch you looking at yourself critically in the mirror, in the heavily tinted windows of the cars you drive. If he didn’t hear you making bitter comments to your friends about your changed shape.

He’s undeniably a clever man, but he has no idea how to broach this topic. How to fix you, when you won’t even acknowledge that you’re broken. Hell, you put so much effort into pretending that you’re fine that he worries it would insult you to know that it’s not fooling him, not for a second.

The dam breaks one night when your daughter is a few months old. You’d woken from a nightmare, not wanted to wake him. On shaking feet you pulled yourself from the bed, crossed the room to check on your sleeping child before you’d returned to bed and curled in on yourself.

You’d been left with pain where they’d cut, where they’d had to tear through your already weakened abdominal muscles to get to the girl you had named Ellaria for his lost love. You’d healed well, externally, but internally? Not so much. The specialists you had seen since still weren’t sure if it was going to be permanent.

The pain was bad; you’d been trying to keep as quiet as possible, overwhelmed by your own anxiety and the physical pain you’re in. You’ve been trying so hard to hide the extent of your struggling from him, you didn’t want to wake him, even though you know deep down he’d rather you did.

Curled in on yourself, biting down on your lip hard enough to draw blood, you don’t want to wake Oberyn or the baby as you cry, too overwhelmed by your own emotions - you’ve always struggled to regulate yourself, and there’s only so much a person can take - you’re beyond your limit, taking on more and more, pushing yourself to keep going even though you should have stopped long ago, relieved yourself of some of your burden and leaned on the people who love you.

You’re fucking stubborn. Stubborn and full of self loathing. So when a familiar pair of arms wrap around you, pulling you close, mindful of the patch just below your naval that constantly aches, mindful of the space to the left of your spine that hurts on and off where a nerve was hit when they put your epidural in, you swipe your tears away furiously, ready to say that you’re fine.

Only, you aren’t fine, and you don’t have the energy to lie to him. Instead, you end up turning over and burying your face in his shoulder, weeping. Maybe it’s the comfort of knowing that, no matter what, Oberyn loves you. Knowing that he’s… him, and yet he’s still here, even though you deem yourself broken, that finally gets you to drop the act, taking in horrible shaking breaths, inhaling the faint scent of spices, liquor and pepper that always seem to cling to him, focusing on that, on his hands against your smaller frame; in that moment, he’s your anchor to the present.

“Oh, my sweet girl, why have you been hiding this from me? All of this pain…” his fingers card through your hair, “tell me what’s wrong?”

It briefly occurs to you that he isn’t blaming you, isn’t making you feel bad for hiding it; he seems only concerned with making sure you’re alright, and that only makes you cry harder, feeling like a total idiot for not talking to him, not trying to begin to explain what’s wrong.

He just holds you for a moment until you’re able to speak, getting the words out between sharp breaths.

“I just… hate… how I am now.” You choke out, “I feel so broken. It’s like… everything I’ve been through before, maybe I’d have come back from, but I just… I feel like my body betrayed me and failed me, and now I don’t even get a choice in having more children or how I have them, and I hate it. I hate it so much.”

Oberyn sits up, pulls you with him, keeps one arm around you as he reaches out to turn the stained glass lamp on the side table on. You duck your head, not wanting him to see you in this state.

One hand gently tucks under your chin, tilts your head up. His dark eyes are soft as he looks at you.

“Don’t look at me like this,” you sniffle. “I hate myself enough without giving you another reason to not be attracted to me.”

The look he gives you is somewhere between wounded and offended.

“What do you mean, another reason to not be-? Love, I saw you in the most pain you’ll ever experience in your life. You think I would be, what, disgusted by your pain?”

“No, but I’m all gross and snotty and piled on top of being fat and covered in these,” you poke critically at your stretch marks, tone miserable. You don’t care if you sound young and petulant, it’s hurting you, self loathing dripping from every word. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t want me.”

Oberyn doesn’t take it as youthful vanity. He knows all too well what you suffered to bring his daughter into the world. He watched you throw up almost every single day for five months, watched you get sick at the very end, watched you try to birth your child naturally. And then, even though it had damn near killed him to see you in so much pain, he had watched you do what needed to be done. Watched you grit your teeth and stand on shaking legs not even ten hours after being cut and ripped apart. He’s never been more proud of you, never loved you more than in that moment, knowing you had borne that suffering for him, for your child, the daughter you had both so desperately wanted.

“Listen to me.” His thumb brushes across your cheek, catching the tears that fall. “I don’t give a damn what size you are. So your shape has changed. It changed because you grew life. You’re softer now. Ria likes it, it means you’re soft to sleep on.”

You smile faintly at the little nickname he’s given your daughter; he’s right. If you weren’t the size you are now, you wouldn’t be as comfortable for her to sleep on.

“There you are.” He gives you an encouraging look when he sees the ghost of your smile. “In time, you’ll forget what it is to carry a child. You’ll forget what it felt like when she moved in you. These -“ his free hand gently touches the stretch marks on your sides and your thighs, “these are just a reminder that you created life, love. Wear them like badges of honour. Especially this one.”

His fingertips barely brush over the jagged edge of where they cut you open.

“This isn’t ugly. No matter what you think. It’s proof that you were willing to do whatever it took to get her here safely. That even though you were afraid and in pain? You put her first. That’s not something to be disgusted by or ashamed of.”

“Y-you really don’t hate it? Don’t hate me? Even though my body failed?”

He pulls you as tight against him as he feels safe doing, mindful of your pain sites.

“I don’t think I could ever love you more than I do at this moment. I’m so very proud of you, my love. Your body didn’t fail. You didn’t fail. I promise you.”

You’ve seen a multitude of emotions in his dark eyes before; amusement, malice, lust, anger, jealousy, sadness, grief, joy, and love. So much love. But even you have to admit, as jaded as you are right now, that you’ve never seen his gaze this soft with affection as he looks at you.

You take another deep, shaking breath before you look at him, blinking back more tears.

“You really don’t mind, if… if we don’t have any more?”

“Gods, no. I want you to be safe, above all else. That choice is entirely yours, sweet girl. If you decide you want another child, I will gladly give you as many as you wish, but… your safety, your happiness… they mean more to me than that.”

You nod slowly, watching his fingers trace idle patterns across your damaged skin; there’s no trace of disgust in his gaze. He touches you freely, without any criticism. You’ve been blind to it, so caught up in your own self loathing.

“Do you think… do you think I’ll be this broken forever?”

To Oberyn’s credit, he doesn’t try and tell you that you aren’t broken, but he also doesn’t take it as a slur. He knows you. Knows what you mean when you say that you’re broken.

“No, sweet girl, I don’t. I think that right now you’re hurting. You’ve endured so much, so much. Things that nobody should endure, and you’ve survived them. Only to be dealt this. Birth is never easy, never painless, but it seems cruel that you were dealt this hand. But I don’t think you’ll be this way forever. Not when you have me, when you have Ria and the older girls to support you.” He rubs comforting circles on your back as he gives you a moment to process this information.

“A-and you’re not… going to get sick of me?”

He laughs a little hollowly. Not because it’s funny, but because he finds the idea completely ridiculous.

“Sick of you? Before you, I thought I would die lonely. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’d never run out of people to fuck and keep me warm at night, but I never expected to find someone who mattered again. Do you truly think that your brain being cruel to you and a scar are enough to make me stop loving you?”

The way he says it, it sounds like a ridiculous concept, even to you in your fragile state. So ridiculous that you laugh softly.

“I… I guess not, when you put it that way.”

He presses a soft kiss to your forehead. To the tip of your nose. To your lips before he pulls away from you as Ria stirs in her crib; he only leaves your side to go to her so that he can bring her to you to hold and comfort.

You watch him without speaking; within moments he’s back beside you, his arms around you as you cradle your half asleep daughter. Her dark curls are his, her closed eyes obsidian like his, too. She has your nose, your lips. Her tiny fist curls around your finger, and you smile slightly looking down at her.

“I know it isn’t easy. But I’m not going anywhere, love. And any time you need reminding that you didn’t fail? Look at her. Look at her and remember you did everything right. You’re doing everything right by her and I couldn’t be more proud of you.” He presses another kiss to your temple, and you have to bite back another little sob, eyes blurring with tears again; they’re different this time, grateful and relieved rather than tears of pain and sadness.

“I love you. Both of you. So much.” You manage to get out finally.

There’s no magic cure for what you’ve been through. There isn’t. You can’t wave a magic wand and erase the trauma, the pain. There’s no medicine you can take that will fix the damage to your body. It’s something that will take time. Time and patience. You know you need to be kinder to yourself, more gentle and loving to your own mind.

However, you do feel a little better having voiced what’s been eating away at you. At knowing that he doesn’t care at all that your body has changed. That your scars don’t bother him; that he loves every part of you, especially the visible reminders of what you’ve endured to bring his daughter into the world.

And he’s right; it will get better. Slowly but surely, the pain in your mind will ease. You’ll slowly start to accept your changed body, your scars and stretch marks, until acceptance turns to love. Until you can touch your incision site with a soft smile and pride rather than regret and disgust. Until you see yourself the way he does. Because even when you’re clouded by your own self loathing?

He’s always going to be there, always going to love you, always going to support you, because even if you can’t see it? He’s your sunlight, and he knows you deserve all the love in the world.

#my writing #pedro pascal #Oberyn Martell #oberyn martell x reader #pedro pascal characters #Pedro pascal character fics #oberyn martell x you #Spotify

[oldwitcheshat]

Big Steddie and obviously I’ve been reading 500+ ficlets and they have been plaguing my brain. Needless to say, I decided to write something and it is 100% made up of ideas from across lots of fics. Plus it’s Steddie Omegaverse week and I’m a hopeless sap for omega Steve/Alpha Eddie.

Be warned: this is not proof read.

Also, the baby’s name is the same as the one from Junos Steddie Dads even if the fics are not of the same premise. He is just the one that made me first obsess over this pairing in the first place.

Day 6 of Steddie Omegaverse: pregnancy

Omega Steve has been a Streamer since he dropped his title in high school. After babysitting Dustin - who watched his favorite streamers and would non-stop talk about them- he began to stream. Originally, it was just for fun. Then three years after high school, he announces his move to LA with his best friend Robin and a few others. Overtime, his reaction and drama takes became more and more popular - even more popular are the videos and streams his platonic soulmate Robin joins him. While he wasn’t the most famous streamer, he was well known.

After being cleared of falsely accused murder charges, Alpha Eddie moves to LA and is quickly followed by Gareth Jeff, and Freak. Eddie picks up working nights at bars and eventually convinces the owners to let his band - Corroded Coffin - play. One night a producer sees them and recognizes their talent pretty quickly. They get signed and are suddenly doing tours and interviews and releasing new albums.

Those who follow Steve’s channel and those who are fans of Corroded Coffin know that Steve and Eddie have mates. Eddie gushes over his omega in interviews and shows a sweet side of him not seen in concerts. Steve talks about toxic-alphaism and how his alpha proves that people can be alphas without being a dick. What their fans don’t know is that they are mated to each other.

It started as Steve wanting to protect Eddie from his stream fans after all the traumatic spotlight Eddie went through in Hawkins. But when Corroded Coffin popped off it became a game to see how long it would take their fans to notice.

But no one noticed that Steve played the acoustic, non lyrical versions of Eddie’s songs played in the background of all his streams. And no one noticed that Eddie’s tour breaks lined up with the same weeks Steve takes off of streaming for his heat. When someone in chat points out that him and Eddie have the same last name, Steven shrugs and says they must be related through marriage somewhere in their family. People definitely don’t notice the same Dustin that runs a popular Corroded Coffin fan account also runs an equally as popular Steve fan account.

One day on an interview, Eddie announced that Corroded Coffin is taking a break from tours for a couple of years. When asked why, he announces on live tv that his omega is pregnant. Everyone is so excited but are disappointed when Eddie says that he isn’t telling who his omega is.

“It’s on his terms when he wants to come to the public eye and I respect that” Eddie says already knowing that Steve is very much in the public eye, just in a different way.

That same night, Steve streams and announces his pregnancy with Robins help. Chat goes wild and Steve laughs saying that he’s not going to put his mate on blast until his mate is ready to be seen. It’s the same excuse Eddie uses and one they have agreed have used several times.

Eddie is in interviews less and less as he and Steve prep for their baby to be born. Steve, however, posts more videos and streams more about baby things and no one notices that his mates voice in the background sounds a lot like Eddie Munsons.

They both say in their own ways that they aren’t going to discover their baby’s gender until they are born. They don’t want to put pressure on who their child is before they are even born.

People only begin noticing and connecting the points when they both post the same photo announcing the birth of their new baby girl Bobbie. And if it’s a photo of Eddie hugging Steve and Bobbie shortly after she was born, that’s okay too.

#this is my first fanfic #since like middle school #don’t judge me #Steddie #Omegaverse #Steddie Omegaverse week #omega Steve #alpha Eddie #mpreg mentioned #streamer Steve and metal star eddie #non canon

[bi-bard]

Olivia Rodrigo Songs That Would Describe a Relationship with Jason Todd - Jason Todd Imagine [HBO's Titans]

Title: Olivia Rodrigo Songs That Would Describe a Relationship with Jason Todd

Pairing: Jason Todd X Reader

Word Count: 3,616 words

Warning(s): attempted robbery, descriptions of trauma/effects of traumatic events, mention of sex

Summary: Three songs by Olivia Rodrigo that would describe a relationship with Jason Todd.

Author's Note: I decided to take a small break from the writing challenges to have a little bit of fun.

I was also going to use "get him back!" because I had an idea for it, but I think it would work better as its own imagine instead of being part of this. Let me know if that's something you'd like to see!

I also contemplated "favorite crime" but that didn't fit as well. Maybe for another character.

--------------------

1 step forward, 3 steps back

It's one step forward and three steps back I'm the love of your life until I make you mad It's always one step forward and three steps back Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy, I don't understand

I tried to keep calm after Jason had been saved from Deathstroke.

I didn't want to sit and question him about it. It just felt wrong. I wanted him to feel safe enough to talk about it, but not forced.

It was a far more precarious line to walk than I originally thought that it would be.

I had seen too much of it to just ignore it. To not want to keep Jason from having to relive it.

I had only joined the Titans because I was good with technology. I had known Jason before then. He knew about my abilities. So, when he left Gotham, he asked me to go with him and got the team to give me a shot.

I hadn't been there when everything with Deathstroke went down, but I had watched it. I had used the street cams nearby to look for him. When I did, I couldn't do anything but watch as he almost fell to his death.

I couldn't save him then, but I could protect him now.

I walked into his room and found him staring out the window in his room. When I got closer to him, I saw his eyes flickering up and down. I felt my eyebrows furrow for a split second as I watched him.

"Jason," I said quietly. There was no response. I raised my voice a little bit, "Hey, hey... Jason."

He jumped a bit when I did that. He looked at me with wide eyes.

I forced a grin at him, trying to not seem nearly as worried as I was. "Hi."

"Hi," he muttered.

I stepped closer, reaching over to cup the back of his head. I ran my fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck. I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

"How are you feeling," I asked.

"Fine," he mumbled.

I slowly nodded. I didn't quite believe him, but I wasn't going to tell him that. "Are you hungry?"

"No," he replied.

"Thirsty?"

"No."

"Need anything at all?"

"(Y/n), stop-"

"Sorry," I muttered. I moved my arms so I could wrap them both around his torso and hug him. "Didn't mean to push."

"But you still always find a way to."

I forced a chuckle. "What?"

"Nothing."

I felt a sense of dread gathering in my stomach.

Jason and I weren't new to this kind of tense conversation. Especially after he made it back. It was why that line I was walking was so precarious; I never knew how he'd react to me just trying to support him.

"You can tell me, y'know... if something's bothering you."

"I don't need to talk about it," he said. I could hear the anger hiding away at the edge of his voice. As if he were actively fighting it.

"Sorry."

"You should be."

I nodded before going to step back. I stood next to him, watching the same view as him, yet feeling like I was a hundred miles away.

"You don't have to stand there," he spoke up after a few minutes. "I don't need a bodyguard."

"I'm just trying to spend time with you."

"We both know that's not true."

I looked down.

"I don't need you to save me, (Y/n)."

"Someone has to!"

It was a response that came out far faster than I meant for it to. I had been wanting to keep my mouth shut. But I couldn't. I just couldn't.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"You always are."

"What?"

"You keep doing this same fucking thing! You sit there and look at me like you pity me! You wouldn't have to fucking apologize if you just fucking listened to me!"

I didn't have a response for that. Logically, I knew that Jason was still in denial about how much everything had affected him. I just didn't know how to pull him out of that.

"You're fucking doing it again!"

I jumped at how loud his voice had gotten.

"Stop acting like I'm some kind of fucking hurt puppy!"

I took a step back as if it would make his voice any quieter. "I'm not trying-"

"Will you just get the fuck out," he asked.

I hesitated for a moment. I wanted to give him the chance to backtrack. It was a moment of suffocating tension.

And when I saw that his face wasn't changing from that angry look, I turned around and walked out of his room.

I tried to walk to my room as fast as I could. I didn't want to talk about any of this. I didn't want to explain why I was upset because it felt selfish for me to feel like this.

When I made it to my room, it felt like I could finally breathe. I took a deep breath before running my hands over my face. I was tired. Exhausted. I had been trying so hard to help and be kind and understanding... but it wasn't enough. How was I supposed to know when it was enough?

I spent God knows how long sitting in my bed. I was silent, lost entirely in thought.

I wasn't doing anything. I was staring out through my window. I don't remember much. It's all mostly confusion. Questions about what I had done wrong and if there was going to be a way to fix it. I just had to sit with all of this stuff and no way to fix any of it.

This is why I preferred computers. No answers could feel so covered cloudy or weird.

I jumped a bit when I heard my door open. My head snapped over to look.

Jason was standing in my doorway. I let out a sigh as my heart rate finally slowed down. He didn't move or speak. I wondered if he was waiting for me to say something. I didn't have anything to say. I was too worried about upsetting him again.

After a moment, he stepped inside, closing the door behind him. I offered him a somewhat forced grin as he did so. I wanted him to know that we were okay... even if we weren't.

He stood at the foot of my bed. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I replied quietly. It wasn't, but I felt a need to grant him some grace. "I'm sorry too."

"You shouldn't need to be," he shook his head. "You were just trying to help."

The only sign that he gave me that made me believe that he understood my intentions and didn't see me as a complete asshole.

He didn't speak up again, but he also made no attempt to move at all. Not to walk away or come any closer. He just stood there.

"Come here," I said quietly, waving him over.

He listened, climbing onto my bed. He kind of flopped down onto it. He rested his head on my chest while his arms wrapped around my torso. I wrapped my arms around him. I let one of my hands slide through his hair, trying to help him relax for a little while.

I heard him whisper after a little while, "I love you..."

I closed my eyes, silently pleading with myself to just believe him. "Love you too."

bad idea, right?

Now I'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans I know I should stop, but I can't And I told my friends I was asleep But I never said where or in whose sheets

There were times when I was convinced that all of my bad choices could be blamed on Gotham's mere existence.

I was never as reckless in San Francisco as I was in Gotham. I never made so many excuses for myself. I never lied to the people around me so much.

I was a different person within Gotham's city limits.

But then again, that could just be something I say as a way to excuse the choices that were entirely my own.

I had never wanted to come back to the city anyway. Dick had sent me to help one of his friends- Barbara. She was smart enough with computers and technology; she didn't need me. She just needed a second set of eyes and hands that could help pull off what she was trying to do. And I was simply too tired to argue with Dick when he told me to go.

Walking into my old apartment was strange.

I had started staying there when I was a teenager. I hadn't been officially on the lease when I first found it. I was just a scared teenager who found a kind enough landlord with a run-down building.

It was still run-down, but it had enough tech to take down most of the big bads in the city. Except the computer in the Batcave. Bruce stopped me from doing that.

The only true problem with staying in my old apartment was that old "friends" knew where I was. And they knew that I was in town.

And some of them felt entitled to show up at my door with little to no warning.

Much like Jason, who found his way to my doorstep while I was on the phone with Rachel.

At first, it sounded like an animal thumping at the door. Slow, quiet. If I had known who it was, I would have assumed it was hesitance.

"Hold on, Rachel, something's outside," I muttered.

"Please don't blindly answer the door to a stranger."

"I'm not an idiot."

I moved my phone from my ear to lean in and look through my peephole. As soon as I saw who it was, I stepped back again.

"I... Rachel, I'm gonna call you back," I said quickly.

"What? Why," she asked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just have to take care of something," I replied. "Bye."

"Okay-"

I cut her off by suddenly hanging up the phone. After placing my phone on my desk, I unlocked the door as quickly as I could, but only opened it far enough so I could look through the crack in the door.

"Hey," Jason said casually as if this were an entirely normal thing for him to do.

Jason had moved back to Gotham after our final fight with Deathstroke. Bruce had taken him back in. As far as I knew, he was training again. Granted, I didn't know much about him now. I don't think that it was especially surprising that we hadn't ended on the best of terms... when he ran off with Rose.

But now, he was standing at my door like nothing had happened.

"Hi," I replied quietly.

"Can I come in," he asked. "I feel safer inside your security system than out of it."

I took a deep breath before going to open the door more. I don't know if it was because I knew that I wouldn't win any argument against him or if I actually wanted to see him. Not that I would ever admit if it were the latter.

"Thanks," he muttered. I shut and locked the door behind him. "When'd you get back to Gotham?"

"A few days ago," I explained, going to walk around him. I wanted there to be nothing between him and the door if I had to kick him out. "What are you doing here?"

"Wanted to see you... check on you," he shrugged. "Gotham's not a safe place."

"Well, thank you for the concern, but I can take care of myself," I replied.

"I know... I'm the one who taught you how."

"You didn't teach me everything."

"No... I think I did. And I remember us having quite a lot of fun doing it."

I scoffed. "Have a good night, Jason."

"You're so quick to kick me out," he said. "Why are you so scared of spending time with me?"

"I'm not scared, I'm annoyed."

"And why is that?" he smirked a bit as he stepped closer to me.

"Because you just showed up on my doorstep in the middle of the night."

"You used to like it when I did that."

"Different circumstances."

"Is that right?"

I didn't respond. I didn't want to entertain any of this. But I also didn't pull away, so maybe there was some part of me that did.

I let him step even closer to me. There wasn't much room between us anymore.

"What do you want, Jason," I asked.

"Guess."

"I'm a bit tired of guessing what you want or need from me," I replied. "Been trying to do that for a while."

"Well, then, I should make it up to you," he said, leaning forward. "For having to do that for so long."

I refused to be the one to close the distance. It felt too much like admitting defeat if I did that. I kept thinking of how long the other Titans had spent trying to make me feel just a little less shit about everything that happened between Jason and me.

But now, looking at Jason in the middle of my old place felt all too familiar. It was hard to remember all that had gone wrong when the happier memories were pushing their way to the front of my mind.

Any ounce of resolve I had been holding seemed to crumble apart the moment Jason's lips brushed mine.

I cracked, leaning forward and pressing my lips to his. If that was admitting defeat, then I was happily waving my white flag. My arms wrapped around his neck. His hands touched my sides and I felt him smirking against my lips. I was lucky that my eyes were shut, or I would have punched him right then and there. With my eyes shut, I was able to ignore the world around us- physical threats, bad memories, potentially disappointed friends... all of it.

It wasn't until Jason tried to guide me to my bed that I seemed to even somewhat snap back to reality.

"Wait, wait," I muttered, pulling away quickly.

Jason's eyebrows furrowed at me, but I didn't pay his confusion much mind as I walked away. I grabbed my phone and quickly typed out a quick message to Rachel, explaining that I was alright and was just heading to bed. Not a complete lie.

I placed it on my desk before going back over to him. "Didn't need her thinking I died."

Jason chuckled before grabbing my hand and dragging me over to him. I grinned as I went to kiss him again.

Maybe this was a bad decision, but I couldn't find it in myself to care.

hope ur ok

And somehow, we fell out of touch Hope he took his bad deal and made a royal flush Don't know if I'll see you again someday But if you're out there, I hope that you're okay

After Scarecrow's attempt to destroy Gotham, I knew that there would be a big mess to clean up. Taking out one big bad created a bit of a vacuum and a lot of people could easily get hurt while others were clamoring to fill the void.

So, I decided to stay in town. I wasn't some amazing fighter or anything, but I had some benefit. I was good enough to help sort out the mess that the police force had, especially after the destruction of the supercomputer that Barbara had been using before.

I kept to myself for the most part. Making yourself known in Gotham was a quick way to end up dead and I didn't have the power or the means to keep myself out of harm's way.

It had been going well.

Until some idiots had spotted me heading back to my apartment after visiting Barbara. I had just been dropping something off to her that I didn't want to send virtually. Too important.

I don't think the thugs had anything to do with that. They were just looking for someone to fuck around with. They were just selfish low lives.

However, they walked closer to me as I went to go past them. I felt my heart speeding up a bit because I knew that there was still some distance between me and my apartment. I still tried to stay calm. It just wasn't working out very well.

No worry I felt then matched the pure panic that hit me when my arm was suddenly grabbed.

I yelled immediately, going to shove myself backward. I was ready to break my arm if it meant that I didn't get myself killed.

I knew logically that they weren't trying to kill me. That didn't change how I reacted. Gotham was too unpredictable to not be ready for that.

All I could hear was mixed yelling about money and my wallet and my watch. It was loud but there were too many voices yelling together for me to truly process any of it.

I tried to explain that I didn't have any money. I was only going to see Barbara. I knew better than to just carry around money in Gotham when I had no intention of using it.

The moment that the yelling stopped was more distinct than the moment that they started.

I just remember it all going from shouting and layered demands to yelling questions and confusion. I stumbled backward, going as close to the corner as I could. I was hoping that I could hide there until whatever had shown up got bored and left.

The silence came alarmingly fast and was enough to make my stomach churn. I closed my eyes, shielding my face as much as I could.

"(Y/n)."

The voice was robotic, but familiar enough for me to lift my head up. I saw Jason standing in front of me, Red Hood mask and all. My mouth fell open a bit as I recognized him.

I hadn't seen him in a long time. After Scarecrow had been stopped, Jason kind of disappeared. I already had cut contact with him after everything that happened between us before his death.

When I heard about his death, I sat with that guilt and regret for weeks. Months. I kept wishing that I had forgiven him or just talked to him. I hadn't wanted our last memory together to be him sneaking out of my place, trying to get out before I had woken up.

When he came back, I had to deal with a whole new kind of guilt. Guilt over wanting to see him and hold him again. I knew everything that he was doing, but I still couldn't shake how I felt about him. It made me feel like shit to sit there missing him and wanting to be with him while all of my friends were thinking of ways to beat him.

And then, I chose to stay in Gotham. I thought that I would get to see him more. But he vanished. I didn't know why. I just wanted to hope that it was him trying to live a life of peace... or at least one of a little less darkness.

And now, I'm here. Staring at him. Through a mask, yeah, but it was him.

"Let's get you home," he said, holding out his hand. I was disappointed that he made no motion to take off his mask, but I grabbed his hand anyway.

The trip back to my place was quiet. Well, quiet between us. We could still hear the chaos of the city around us. Sirens and screaming and such. But neither one of us spoke. From the walk to his bike to the ride to the building to the trip up the squeaky staircase.

It wasn't until we got to my door that it felt like it was safe enough to speak.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"Don't mention it," he replied, voice still morphed by whatever technology was in his mask. I wanted to beg him to take it off, but I didn't. I didn't feel like I had the right to do that. "See you around."

I nodded before turning to the door so I could unlock it and open it. He turned around, going to walk back down the hall. There was that old guilt. The regret over things never said, never done. Things that were needed.

I stood with my key halfway in the lock for what felt like an eternity before I finally turned back and started following him.

"Jason!" I called, getting him to stop.

By the time he turned back around to face me, I was already in front of him. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into one of the tightest hugs that I had ever given.

"I've missed you," I muttered to him.

After a few moments of complete silence, I heard a faint sound that I couldn't quite recognize. And then, Jason's arms found their way around me. I grinned, closing my eyes and moving to place a small kiss against his shoulder.

I didn't speak. I just let him hold me. That was enough for me in that moment.

I heard something whispered in my ear, "I missed you too."

There was one thing that stuck out to me more than anything else. There was no filter over his voice.

If this was the start of something getting better, then I would be perfectly content with this moment completely.

--------------------

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#fanfiction #imagine #x reader #dc fanfiction #dc x reader #dc imagine #jason todd imagine #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd x reader #titans imagine #titans fanfiction #titans x reader #red hood imagine #red hood fanfiction #red hood x reader

[pap3rcherry]

GREETINGS! I wanted to ask you if you could do a SMG4 x reader who's after the Mr puzzles movie very like VERY traumatized, won't get out from their bed and wouldn't say a word, since Mr puzzles did very horrible things

If you don't want to it's alright!

BTW love all your blogs

୨୧ BINGO BINGO BABY ✮

SMG4 X READER WHO'S SEVERELY TRAUMATIZED

A/N: you guys are making me feel so loved istg</3 btw I LOVE YOU!

Tw: Traumas, Illusions, flashbacks, reader probably has PTSD,if theres any TW missing, pls warn me so i can put it!

type: Headcanons, Fluff/angst, romantic.

Song(s) recommendation: Lucy / Treehouse

୨୧ SMG4 would be a very caring boyfriend, so when he noticed how traumatized you were because of the events of the puzzlevision arc, he would be extra caring for you, trying to make you better in all possible ways.

୨୧ He would do anything, give you gifts, stay with you whenever you needed to, he wouldnt let you be unsupervised for more than 3 hours, hes just too scared to something happening with you that could make you even worse.

୨୧ He would be there for you whenever you just felt the need to talk of how terrifying it was to you, he would hear everything you had to say even if he was in the same events with you, he knows how it feels to have the need to just, let it out so he will be all ears for what you have to say.

୨୧ But when you are eerily quiet, he will be a little more sadder, he enjoyed your voice so much, so he wouldnt really enjoy when you are mute, but would respect it since he knows better than pushing you and making you possibly stressed and worsening things.

୨୧ He would bring anything you needed to the bed, water, food, you name it, he would go to the ends of the earth to get something especific that you asked for, just so that you could feel a bit more at ease.

୨୧ If you have any episodes or illusions, SMG4 would come bursting through walls, doors, or anything on his way just to get to you and hug you to support as much as possible, he would panic, sure, but he would try to keep his cool so he could help you. (even though he has NO idea on how to help you.) if you have any flashbacks of Puzzles, Smg4 would be there to reassure you that he will never come back to hurt you, he wouldnt allow it.

୨୧ He would give you more peace by not taking you in adventures anymore, also would start sleeping with you so that you could feel safe and him unconcerned about any possibility of you having an anxiety attack and to also hold you close to him in his sleep </3 (he feels at peace when holding you)

୨୧ SMG4 would be so worried, so so worried, he really loves you and you were in such degrading situation, he wish he could just take your pain and fear away so that he could only see your eletric way again</3

୨୧ SMG3 would try to help, watching over you when SMG4 couldnt and giving anything you needed while hes gone, Smg3 would just be a tad careless when it comes to trying to help you, since he doesnt have that MUCH worry of SMG4 on helping you, dont get him wrong, you are his friend and all but he's still a little bitch sometimes.

୨୧ SMG4 would miss having you in his adventures, he fears that you can stay like this forever, feared that you would be in a anxious and painful to see state, he would still love you, he will always love you, but what worries him is that you would be in such heartbreaking state forever.

୨୧ Mario is proihibited to enter your room, SMG4 would burn Mario himself if he ever enters there just to bug you or mess around in your room, so if Mario ever tries to sneak in while hes not looking, just text him in one second and in the next second, Mario is being burned alive.

୨୧ ...he already went to find the destroyed TV just to smash it over and over again in pure anger of what Puzzles did to you...👀

୨୧ “I love you, aint that crazy?...”

A/N:oops i did it again... i connected the title with the final quote 👍🏼

#reader x smg4 #smg4 x reader #smg4 #smg4 smg3 #puzzlevision arc #x reader #supermarioglitchy4 #reader fic #headcanons #angst #fluff

[mbakuetshurisprincess]

From My Headphones: Party Tricks

AN: Hey y’all! A while ago I made a post about wanting to write fics based on songs and this is the first fic in that series. They’re gonna be generally quicker reads and just real small cute shit for now. Y’all should fr tho listen to the song, that shit goes hard ngl lol. 

Summary: The Queen’s in her own world, would she notice your absence? 

Pairing: Shuri x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of alcohol think that's it.

Word count: 2,138

Suggested listening: Party Tricks by Äyanna 

“Tell me, baby If I left the party would you look for me? Would you wonder where I went? Tell me, baby If I left the party would you look for me? Or would you just keep on Dancing to your own beat.”

Riri’s birthday was a national holiday as far as she was concerned, that’s why she begged and pleaded with you to plan it for her. Before taking a job as a photographer in Wakanda you were a top party planner for you and Riri’s friend group throughout college. You had developed a reputation for being able to throw a banger no matter the budget. When you were all freshmen without a dollar to your name, you managed to make a shitty college apartment look like the hottest club ever. And when you all did finally get some money in your pockets, the parties you were able to plan were things of myths at MIT. 

But when you decided to move to Wakanda full time ( Riri splitting half her time between there and the US due to her Iron Heart duties) you gave up the party planning life for a camera and a lens; not regretting the peaceful change one bit. To be honest you hated parties, the loud music, obnoxious drunk people, and just general overwhelmingness left you rarely in attendance at your own parties. That’s why letting it go didn’t bother you that much, if anything it left you with relief knowing it was one less thing you’d have to stress about. 

Riri knew this of course when she approached you to plan her twenty-third birthday party, but she also knew after what she, you, and Shuri had been through with Namor you had a hard time saying no to her. That’s how you ended up on a stage in Wakanda’s hottest nightclub that had been themed black and red for Michael Jordan. Dressed in your skimpiest black dress watching Riri blow out her birthday candles in front of everyone. She turned back to face you and extended her arms pulling you into a hug. 

“I know this was a lot for you but thank you for all this. You really are the best friend I could ask for Y/N.” Riri squeezed your body tight against hers and you felt the sincerity in her words. 

“Of course honey, you deserve it.” You pulled out of the hug and winked at the shorter girl. “Your Jordan year, yeah? Nothing but up from here.” 

Riri pulled you in for another hug and you relished the moment grateful you were able to take the time to celebrate your best friend. Other people called her name and you urged her to go continue in the festivities, ensuring that you would be fine on your own till you left. With that you slipped off the stage and beelined towards the bar, needing something to take the edge off the raging headache. 

You hopped onto one of the bar stools and ordered an old-fashioned, eyes scanning the room while you waited for your drink. You spotted Shuri easily in the crowd, the silver accents on her suit sparkling underneath the strobe lights. She was dancing like you hadn’t seen her dance before, completely letting loose and yelling out the few words she did know to the American rap music you and Riri had introduced her to. All though she was surrounded by people she looked as if she was in her own world only worried about where the next beat was going to take her body. 

The relationship you and Shuri had was hard to describe because there was hardly anything to describe it with. You hadn’t known her for long before you were suddenly kidnapped together and forced to go through traumatic events in both of your lives. You almost died trying to save Queen Ramonda from drowning and your unsuccessfulness meant the death of Shuri’s mother. The attempt left you in a coma for days and it took you a while to feel normal again. Shuri was part of the reason you did though, you two both found unlikely comfort in each other's presence. 

It started out slow, she would come and visit you while you were in the hospital and just sit with you while you watched tv. Eventually, when you were released she would meet you in the garden and you would chat while she was on lunch break away from the peering eyes of others. The nighttime meetings were accidental at first, she stumbled across you hanging out on a balcony and was concerned that there was something wrong. When you explained that the quietness of the city at night helped quiet your own mind it prompted Shuri to ask if she could join you. 

She found you every other night after that, sitting with you till the wee hours of the morning soaking in your presence. While you said the quietness of the city helped to still your mind, Shuri soon learned that your presence seemed to have the same effect on her. She found herself craving the peace that your energy washed over her and soon she was ready to admit it was a full-blown crush. But what about you? Shuri could never tell if you felt the same electricity when your hands touched or if it warmed your heart as much as it did hers when you shared secret laughs with each other. No. You were too special to her, the last good thing she had left. And Shuri was going to be damned if she let some crush get in the way of your friendship. No matter how strong the crush was. 

The music at the party seemed to have increased and the alcohol was doing nothing to help your headache. You reached discreetly into your bra and pulled out a small black case. You popped each of the round circles into your ears before slipping the case back into your bra. Noise-canceling earbuds were a gift from Shuri when she realized how loud noises affected you after the events with Namor. They were a godsend now, allowing you to shut out all of the noise and just watch the partygoers enjoy your event. The brightness of the strobe lights seemed to intensify with the lack of sound and after five minutes you decided it was just best if you called it a night. 

You hopped off the bar stool and looked at the dance floor one last time. Riri had made it down finally and she and Shuri were going bar for bar on First Day Out. The sight of Shuri struggling to keep up and Riri rapping with ease almost made you want to stay but an untimely flash of light in your eye had you beelining for the door. You wandered around aimlessly for a while before stumbling on the door to the roof. Perfect. 

The roof had a view of the city, unlike the one you had at the palace. This one made you feel like you were immersed in the world, with the soft twinkle of city lights surrounding you from all angles. And the quiet. Once the door shut behind you all of the noise seemed to go with it and you were left with the soft hum of the vibranium trains. It was the best thing you could have asked for at the moment. You found one of the reclining outdoor chairs and sat with your back to the door, outlooking the city and enjoying the silence. 

Inside the party, Shuri was questioning if the added respiratory benefits she got from being the Black Panther were anything close to the lungs of steel Riri seemed to have. The Queen had been going back and forth with Riri on all of the classic black party hits for the past twenty minutes. While Riri hadn’t missed a word from Love Sosa all the way to Dreams and Nightmares, Shuri had to pause to catch her breath after the second song. 

It was during her pause when she was reflecting that she hadn’t felt this happy and carefree in a while. The only other time she remembered feeling this light was when she was with you. Speaking of you, where had you gone? Shuri knew she saw you at the bar getting a drink but suddenly you were nowhere to be found. The royal scanned the party, relying on her panther vision to see in the darkness of the nightclub. But she came up with nothing. That was when she started to get worried. She knew that you only came to the party because it was Riri’s birthday and that generally large settings like this were not your scene. That coupled with her realizing just how loud this music was and how overwhelming this all could have been sent the Queen into overdrive. 

She didn’t wanna alert Riri, especially if it turned out to be nothing and you had just gone to the bathroom. So she elected to slip out of the party, unnoticed hoping to bring you back so she could share in her happiness with you. The Queen started first in the bathrooms but was unsuccessful, she tried the various lounges and VIP rooms all to no avail. You wouldn’t have left without telling her, right? ‘It is not like we’re together’ Shuri told herself. ‘But we’re closer than her leaving without telling me. It would feel wrong.’ 

Shuri was stumped. She had checked every inch of the building that she could think of and you were nowhere to be found. ‘Maybe you did really go home’ She thought. ‘Maybe I’m reading too much into our relationship.’ Just as she was about to give up and go back into the party an idea popped into her head. 

“Griot, where is Y/N?” She spoke into her kimoyo beads. 

“Y/N is at the same location you are at night now your majesty. Club Red.” The AI responded. 

So you hadn’t left her. “Where specifically is she, Griot? I haven’t been able to locate her.” 

“Y/N’s kimoyo beads indicate that she is on the roof, your majesty.” 

The roof, of course, that’s where you’d go! “Griot you beautiful AI!��� Shuri kissed her kimoyo beads in celebration, a little extra yes but she now knew where her girl was. 

“Why thank you my Queen I think I’m quite handsome myself-” 

“Hey! can it. I made you.” Shuri cut off Griot’s self-hype as she made her way to the exit for the roof. 

Chilling on a roof wasn’t too far off from chilling on a balcony so for you to be out here didn’t surprise Shuri at all. She opened the door and immediately saw you sitting out near the edge. At first, she was tempted not to approach you, it was quiet on the roof and she knew you well enough to know you were probably enjoying it. But selfishly, selfishly Shuri wanted to be in your presence. Light on her feet not wanting to scare you she walked up behind your chair. 

“It’s a beautiful night out isn't it my Queen?” You asked when you felt her behind you, you could always feel Shuri. Something became magnetic in the air, like nothing else you’d ever experienced when she was around. 

“Mhm,” Shuri said in agreement, walking around the chair so she was now in front of you. “But it’s just as beautiful in there, I know a certain party planner worked very hard to make sure it looked nice.” 

An involuntary chuckle fell from your mouth at the Queen’s compliments. “I prefer it out here, you know that I like the quiet.” 

Shuri let a beat pass before she looked down at you, noticing how cold you looked in just the black dress. “Are you not cold entle?” Shuri asked. 

“Ehh, just a little bit. I’ll take the cold and quiet over the warmth and noise in there any day.” You replied with a shrug of your shoulders. 

“Scoot down,” Shuri commanded. 

“What?” You looked up at Shuri confused as to where she was expecting you to go on the lawn chair. 

“Just scoot down. For me?” 

You gave Shuri another confused look but obeyed her command sliding down the chair and leaving space between your back and the back of the chair. In one motion Shuri positioned herself behind you so that you were sitting comfortably between her legs. While the position was unfamiliar to you both it felt natural, like your bodies melded together in the space they were always meant to be. 

“Is this okay?” The Queen asked once you both got situated. You didn’t respond at first but the feeling of your body relaxing into hers was enough to ease her nerves for the time being. 

You grabbed her hands which were resting on either of her thighs and wrapped them around your waist. “Stay with me?” You asked, your hands still on hers that rested comfortably on your waist. 

“Anything for you.” 

Tag List: @shuriszn @sokkasbae25 @verachii @cuddl3s4shur1 @takeyaki @jinnie10101 @letitias-fav @sweetalittleselfish-honey @beautybyfire @6-noir @mocha-aya @yvxmpire @mysticalmarss @ziayamikaelson @youralphawolf72 @n7cje @inmyheadimobsessed @shurisjournal

#shuri x y/n #shuri x reader #shuri black panther #shuri imagine #shuri udaku #shuri fanfiction #shuri x you #black panther #black panther fanfiction #black panther imagine #black panther fic #black panther fandom #wlw ship #wlw fanfic #wlw blog #jc writes

[wheelsupin-azarathmetrionzinthos]

Lucy needed a friend in S4

Whenever I think about episode 4x17 and Chris singing Dream A Little Dream of Me in front of Lucy like it was a normal thing to do or a normal mistake to make. I question like the rest of us “why didn’t she break up with him?”  We could assume that it was the show itself minimizing her trauma or keeping Chris around for drama reasons. But ignoring that type of meta analysis, in character I think it all comes back to the fact that in season 4, Lucy doesn’t have the friends and support she had before. Yes I know she had Tim but we’ll get to that.  Losing Jackson lost Lucy a very important person in her life, because yes they were best friends but they were also peers. They went to each other about everything. Like we saw with Vanessa Chen, Jackson was willing to go scorched earth for Lucy against her own mother, even while Lucy would’ve just suffered in silence about her parents’ disapproval. Unlike her friendships with Nyla, Angela or Tim, Jackson was a peer, they went through the academy together, they were in a very similar stage of life. He was her sounding board in a way Nolan wasn’t or Rachel used to be before she moved. Lucy in season 4 also became Tamara’s primary caretaker, she got a little sister to care about and protect. Lucy absolutely wouldn’t want to burden her with any of the emotional uncertainty or trauma she was working through.  As previously demonstrated with Rachel, Lucy works through her issues by talking through them with someone. Her best ability to introspect is talking through her feelings, and having someone point out the lack of logic, or being able to point out her own logic. She can’t do that with Tamara, she’s not burdening this kid. She can’t really do this with Nyla and Angela, because while they are her friends they also outrank her, and are further in their careers and lives. Thorsen is still a rookie and isn’t quite at that level yet.  That leaves Tim, but at this point, I think something would prevent Lucy from really discussing her relationship with Tim. They both can’t really admit to each other that there are problems in their relationships because well...that would require them to address their deal. THe only reason Lucy intervened with Ashley is that Ashley called *her* about Kojo So anyway back to 4x17. Chris sings the song, Lucy spirals, and then she decides to watch the video, she decides not to testify, and then she’s fine? She goes to dinner with Chris? But let’s look at that scene. Even on one of her most vulnerable days, Lucy sees that Tamara is interested in lawyer intern Austin. So she makes it easy on Tamara. She knows if she’s not perfectly okay, Tamara will feel bad and it’ll ruin her evening. Lucy cares so much, even at the detriment of her own feelings. Lucy takes care of Tamara by going to dinner with Chris and convincing herself that yeah this is fine and that being with a man who belittles her career, and doesn’t listen to her, and is moving too fast is okay. It’s okay because the two people who could clock that she’s not okay, are Tim (distracted by trying to not have feelings for Lucy, and also Lucy will always want him to be proud of her which means not being vulnerable about things she’s supposed to be “over”) and Jackson (who is dead). If Jackson had been around, Lucy could’ve let herself fall apart over the SUPER TRAUMATIC DAY, and he would’ve called her on her stubbornness in needing to make Chris work. Jackson was her safeplace, in the way that Angela was Tim’s and Nyla had become Nolan’s. S4 left her unmoored which left with the ability to grow in her relationship with Tim, but it also hindered her when things came up that she couldn’t talk to Tim about, like issues with Chris, or kissing Tim in her apartment. S4 Lucy needed her friend Jackson a whole bunch, and nothing shows that more then 4x17, because Jackson would have protected her from herself.

#lucy chen #jackson west #tim bradford #Chenford #Chris Sanford #the rookie #tldr: if jackson was still alive Chris would not have lasted as long as he had #for many reasons #primarily calling lucy on her own bullshit #affectionately but you know