#I’m getting sick it feels grodie

[monkeybebop]

Happy pride month here’s Reigen doodle to celebrate

#okay I know that it’s 20 days late #but pride never stops baby #This started as vent art idek why #hope you guys are doing okay #if anyone was wondering I don’t think I am #I’m getting sick it feels grodie #anyway love u all xoxo #reigen arataka #mob psycho fanart #my art #versacebong art #digital art #artist on tumblr #character art #doodles #mob psycho 100 #mp100 fanart #mp100 reigen #Reigen poopataka #hehe #mp100 #weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[orbital-inclination]

(momma cq!) Fresh: K. On the edge of consciousness

(momma cq!) Error: X. A flash of anger

^^

Prompt X, feat. a very angry Error WC: 193

Fresh's prompt is under the cut! (WC: 413) -------------------- “Oh… I’m sorry, Error.”

Error did not move. He wasn’t there, in that room, in that world, staring down at the scarred remains of months of dedicated work and patience. 

He wasn’t there, because he hadn’t made the mistake of putting his time and effort into a doll. Hadn’t fought through spams and glitches to keep his hand steady. Hadn’t swallowed his own disgust and resentment, just to enter an abomination of a world, to get just the right fabric with just the texture and just the right color. The porcelain buttons. The stuffing. All of it, Error had weighed and judged, and selected with the sort of care he rarely gave to anything. 

The doll wasn’t for him.

He couldn’t even call it a doll, anymore. It was table scraps. Loose thread, smoldering stuffing, and black smear on the floor.

Ink shuffled his feet awkwardly. 

Error breathed in once. Felt the threat of hot-prickle-static ripple down his spine. And the feeble, pathetic remains of his soul turned black with rage, because if this was the shit he got for caring about someone else for once than what the fuck was the point?!

---------------------------------------------

“Yoooo! This is a total bummer, dude,” is what Fresh would’ve said if he had access to his Host’s mouth. 

For several long moments, he felt weightless. Caught in the split second of a free fall. Then there was a sickening crack and like a busted record player, the flow of time came to a screeching halt—

—when he came to, it felt like someone had taken a mallet to his head, and stuffed his mouth with cotton. Up was down, North was East, and his sense of self in time and space had been divided and quartered. 

Instinct warned to flee and hide, but his body wasn’t responding.

It ached. His everything ached. Not cool. He could not feel his host and it was dark. Very dark. Also not cool. A growing, almost foreign sense of urgency loomed the longer this went on, a pulsating heat behind his eye like a drum, beating the thought into him that he was missing something. That was just not kosher, yo. He did not like to be rushed.

If that wasn’t enough, a strange tingling sensation numbed his arms. Like TV-static, tiny uncomfortable needles pricked his flesh. It was not quite painful, but it was totes uncool. The core of his being quivered. He strained to move. He couldn’t move. Why couldn’t he move? 

‘Unradical, bro.’

Finally, one of his limbs twitched. He began to move it experimentally, testing what hurt and what didn’t. He felt the end of a tentacle curled, then folded in a loop over itself. Smooth. He was resting on something smooth. Bowl shaped. Ok. He was resting inside his host’s skull then. Sick.

‘What’s your damage, man?’

But he still couldn’t see. He felt around. Grody mucus sealed his eye shut. He shuddered and pulled his arms over his eye, swiping his limbs over it until the grit came loose and the darkness became a muddy fog, and finally cleared.

‘Take a chill-pill, wastoid. This is no-way to treat your bro—sCK” 

His host lay on its back. His glasses were dislodged by a blue spear. The pole came just shy of taking a chip off his Host’s cheekbone. But its eye sockets blown wide, staring upwards into a cracked blue sky. 

Oh jeez. 

He watched, as second by agonizing second, a long black fissure ate away at reality. The sky chipped away, bite by bite. The darkness within convulsed, heaving, like a slowly, ever expanding lung.

Yeah.... Time to bounce.

#dear anon i am so sorry this is probably the worst Fresh sans youve ever read a pov for! i tried my best but that boy is hard to write #:'') #utmv #utmv au #error sans #fresh sans #fresh!sans #error!sans #ask meme #ficlet #orbital chatter #long post

[comeforthepizza]

Showbiz Pizza Country Night (1983), Segment 1: "Monkeyman Chewing Tobacco Skit/Redneck Friend" Transcript

Note: And here begins Country Night, starting with the first segment, featuring Dook and Beach Bear's cover of Redneck Friend. They're still a work in progress, but as they're done, links to the other segments of this show will be posted at the bottom of the script!

If you have any corrections, please let me know, and I'll fix it ASAP!

COUNTRY NIGHT 1983

SEGMENT ONE: MONKEYMAN CHEWING TOBACCO SKIT/REDNECK FRIEND

Featuring:

Burt "Sal" Wilson as Fatz Geronimo

Shalisa Sloan as Mitzi Mozzarella

Rick Bailey as Beach Bear

Duke Chauppetta as Dook LaRue

----------

FATZ: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and a special round-up welcome to all you little bitty cowgirls and cowpokes. This here is the first installment of Country Music Night here at Showbiz Pizza Place and we’re gonna try and play for y’all a whole mess of great country songs. Just perfect after a long day of roping and riding the range. But before we go any further, I’d like to tell y’all something about something that’s very something…

(Everyone laughs.)

FATZ (Cont.): … something that’s very near and dear to my heart: Monkeyman Chewing Tobacco. That’s right. Monkeyman Chewing Tobacco. Just put a pound or two between the cheek and gum and that’s all it takes. That’s right, that’s all it takes, so after a long day of roping-

MITZI: Oh, Fatz, you don’t chew tobacco.

FATZ: What’chu talking about? I’ve been chewing tobacco for a long time, little honey. 

BEACH BEAR: Yeah. ‘Course he has, ‘course he has.

MITZI: Come on, Fatz, I’ve never seen you chew tobacco.

FATZ: Just because the light’s off don’t mean nobody’s not home.

MITZI: Huh?

FATZ: What I mean is, just because you hadn’t seen me, don’t mean I don’t do it.

MITZI: I don’t care what you say, Fatz, I know you don’t chew tobacco.

DOOK: That’s right, Fatz. What’chu up to?

FATZ: Nothing, Dook, why?

MITZI: Fatz, come on, spit it out.

FATZ: What? The tobacco?

(He, DOOK, and BEACH BEAR laugh.)

MITZI: Fatz!

FATZ: Well. Okay. If you must know, I was approached by these nice-looking city boys in some- these fancy little suits, and they told me that all I have to do is to tell everybody about this tobacco and they’d give me a whole lot of money. So, I put two and two together and I figured that it was the least I could do to help them out of a jam and all and, uh, you know, I-

MITZI: Oh, I see. Have you ever tried the stuff?

FATZ: Well, not- not exactly. 

MITZI: Don’t you think that’s, well, a little dishonest?

FATZ: Yeah, I think that’s “well, a little dishonest”. But, uh. Well. I guess I should’ve known better to- to- to tell a story in front of all these folks. I really feel bad about it. I tell you what, I really didn’t try it. Why don’t you try some and then you can tell me what it’s like, Mitzi?

MITZI: Oh, gross!

FATZ: Come on, just a pound or two between the cheek and gum.

MITZI: Oh, grody!

FATZ: You can use my spittoon.

(The guys laugh.)

MITZI: Oh, sick!

FATZ: Well. You don’t want to?

BEACH BEAR: Hey, you guys are really freaking out. 

FATZ: What?

BEACH BEAR: I mean, what’re you talking about? Why don’t we play?

DOOK: Yeah, that’s right. Beach Bear’s right, man, we need to get on with the show.

FATZ: Okay, I just wanted everybody to understand that I was trying to set the proper mood here. I’m teasing you, Mitzi. Now, now, business is business, so we might as well get down to the business of showbusiness. Ain’t that our business?

MITZI, DOOK, & BEACH BEAR: Yeah.

FATZ: Okay, well, now hit it, Beach!

[SONG: REDNECK FRIEND (ORIGINALLY BY JACKSON BROWNE)]

BEACH BEAR:

OH, PRETTY LITTLE ONE

HOW HAS IT ALL BEGUN

THEY’RE TEACHING YOU HOW TO WALK

BUT YOU’RE ALREADY ON THE RUN

BEACH BEAR & DOOK:

LITTLE ONE

WHAT’CHA GONNA DO

LITTLE ONE

HONEY, IT’S ALL UP TO YOU

BEACH BEAR:

NOW, YOUR DADDY’S IN THE DEN

SHOOTING UP THE EVENING NEWS

AND YOUR MAMA’S WITH A FRIEND

LATELY, SHE’S BEEN SO CONFUSED

BEACH BEAR & DOOK:

LITTLE ONE

COME ON AND TAKE MY HAND

BEACH BEAR:

WELL, I MAY NOT HAVE THE ANSWER

BEACH BEAR & DOOK:

BUT I BELIEVE I GOT A PLAN

HONEY, YOU SHAKE

BEACH BEAR:

AND I’LL RATTLE

BEACH BEAR & DOOK:

AND WE’LL ROLL ON DOWN THE LINE

BEACH BEAR:

SEE IF WE CAN’T GET IN TOUCH

WITH A VERY CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE

LET ME CLUE YOU IN, IT AIN’T LIKE HIM

TO ARGUE OR PRETEND

BEACH BEAR & DOOK:

HONEY, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU

TO MY REDNECK FRIEND

BEACH BEAR:

WELL, HE’S GOT A LITTLE LIST OF ALL THOSE THINGS

OF WHICH HE DON’T APPROVE

AND HE’S GOTTA KEEP HIS EYES ON YOU

‘CAUSE YOU MIGHT MAKE YOUR MOVE

BEACH BEAR & DOOK:

OH, LITTLE ONE

I REALLY WISH YOU WOULD

LITTLE ONE

I THINK THE DAMAGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD

HONEY, YOU SHAKE

BEACH BEAR:

AND I’LL RATTLE

BEACH BEAR & DOOK:

AND WE’LL ROLL ON DOWN THE LINE

BEACH BEAR:

GONNA SEE IF WE CAN’T GET IN TOUCH

WITH A VERY CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE

WELL, HE’S A MISSING LINK, THE KITCHEN SINK

BEACH BEAR & DOOK:

ELEVEN ON A SCALE TO TEN

HONEY, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU

TO MY REDNECK FRIEND

BEACH BEAR: Alright, go poke some cows.

(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK.)

BEACH BEAR & DOOK:

HONEY, YOU SHAKE

BEACH BEAR:

AND I’LL RATTLE

BEACH BEAR & DOOK:

AND WE’LL ROLL ON DOWN THE LINE

I’M GONNA TRY AND SWING YOU UP INTO THE SADDLE

BUT I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’LL FIND

BEACH BEAR:

OH, DON’T JUST STAND THERE LOOKING

LIKE THIS DREAM WILL NEVER END

BEACH BEAR & DOOK:

HONEY, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU

TO MY REDNECK FRIEND

HEY, HONEY, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU

TO MY REDNECK FRIEND

BEACH BEAR: Come on, redneck! Why don’t you blow this thing down some? I wanna do some two-stepping.

END.

----------

Check out the rest of Country Night!:

Country Bird Songs Skit/Country Medley

Jackson Intro/Jackson

You Never Even Call Me By My Name

TNTDODD Intro Skit/The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down

Fatz for President (Presidential Skit)/Guitarzan

Desperado

Stranded in the Jungle

Swingin' Intro Skit/Swingin'

Sixteen Tons Intro Skit/Sixteen Tons

Elvira (Outtake)

#rock afire transcription #rock afire explosion #showbiz pizza #country night #rock afire explosion country night #fatz geronimo #mitzi mozzarella #beach bear #dook larue

[aqueeracademic]

morse being queer (and other commentary) pt 13:

season 4, episode 1, “Game”:

- season 4!! let’s go

- need me some gay stuff

- season three was not very fruity

- wtf instrument is this lady playing

- thursday is such an asshole sometimes it’s a wonder i like him

- trewlove is perfect in every way

- “where do you stand with all that?” “suicide?” “love.”

- morse and debryn supremacy!!!

- look i KNOW morse thinks of joan when debryn referenced the “one that got away” but…. don’t you think they could be talking about jakes too?

- because i think they’re talking about jakes

- morse’s papers going missing is SO frustrating

- people hate to see my boy succeed and i’m sick of it!

- i know thursday is sad because of joan but morse has every right to be frustrated with him

- at the same time…

- morse copes by working

- with everhthing

- if anything upsets him he goes to work and locks in

- so i can see how he wouldn’t be particularly understanding of thursday not being able to push through and he should try better to be sympathetic

- i still think he has every right to be frustrated w him tho

- tessa knight 🤢🤮🤮🤮

- thursday is SO MEANNNNNNNN

- and for what!

- these scientists are gay <3

- they bicker like a couple and then immediately try to take care of each other it’s adorable

- morse speaking russian 🥰🥰🥰

- i’m giggling

- i love that bright is always so dramatically impressed when morse does something well

- bright and trewlove are so 🤞🥺 i’m obsessed with them

- trewlove showing that sexist motherfucker UP

- I LOVE HER

- “it’s not my place to say.”

- he is. so catty.

- these parents deserve so much better i feel so terrible for them

- thursday’s way of “making it up” to morse is so annoying

- i know he feels bad for hurting morse but just talk to him

- we all know we doesn’t care about validation or congratulations

- like he knows that! and yet 🫤

- the russian man being fully capable of speaking english and just choosing not to do so is so funny to me

- i already don’t like journalists about 60% of the time but this girl is ESPECIALLY annoying and i hate her

- this author is kinda…

- morse obviously doesn’t wanna talk to this author about his job so why on earth did he pull up to the guys house

- that’s my question!

- is it just because he’s….

- because he is!

- morse would be right

- ofc he quickly ends up disliking him but it’s the hope in that situation that matters 🙄

- also morse telling him that police work is boring in real life as if he didn’t get attacked by a tiger and experience all the events of The Great Gatsby is wild

- just straight up lying at this point

- STEALING FROM A POLICE OFFICER?????

- you stole. from a police officer.

- i cannot believe she is like this 😐 i hate her sm

- and of course the same day he finds out that he is being intentionally sabotaged is the day he’s being berated for “losing his notebook”

- cannot catch a break

- at least he and thursday are trying to make up

- these scientists are SO GAY (the awkward one w the glasses and the snobby one with the mouse)

- teasing him while massaging him and then putting his hand on his waist when he gets up

- Science Bros™️

- i don’t like her and all that but tessa didn’t deserve to die 🫤

- the face casts are so upsetting

- makes my damn skin crawl

- the odds of morse finding that paper in the doll were positively MINUSCULE he literally just can’t keep his hands to himself

- justice for frazil i just want her to be happy

- incest should never be the answer in a murder investigation tbh

- or like… even an idea of what happened

- grody tbh!

- NO FRAZIL NO

- aw GODDAM IT

- THE LITTLE GAY SCIENTIST IS THE KILLER

- i’m so upset

- i thought he and the mouse man had something 🫤🫤

- they would have been so cute

- but no he’s not gay he’s fucking incestuous

- i’m mad 🙄🙄🙄🙄

- morse finally driving his car at a reasonable speed

- GO FRAZIL GO

- NO FRAZIL NO

- i stg if anything happened to her i would lose my mind i’m so glad she’s okay

- morse just roasting the killer to get him to surrender is… a choice

- “you have to make a stand somewhere. they’re not going to drive me out.”

- YOU TELL EM MORSE

- morse has lost everyone he’s loved and all he had left is the place he loves and he will not leave and i love him for it

#this one is short but i’m going to bed #sleepy as fuck #endeavour #endeavour itv #endeavour morse #morse #itv endeavour

[the-farmers-rabbit]

Sick Season with Mason

Hi!! This is going to be like a master post for me so it will be long but it’s something I like to help with.

To start, I’m going to give background as to Why i’m qualified for what i’m talking about. I’m currently (as of december 2022) 18 years old. It’s my first year of uni and i’m living in a dorm after 18 years at home. In elementary school, my little body had a tendency to get super sick for long periods of time until I got on allergy meds. It was just seasonal stuff that turned into sinus infections and stuff like that. It would keep me home for weeks at a time which is no good for a kid. 

Flash forward to high school. Before and after covid (it hit in my junior year), I would have a tendency to get sick for months at a time. Not super sick, none of it ever warranted an ER trip or being in a hospital. But I would have a cough that would just. stick with me. for month long periods of time and it would only go away once I got antibiotics.

Now, I’m in college and it’s most of the same. I’ve realized that I might have some immunodeficiencies (my mother has a fucked up immune system but the other way around, so it’s not unlikely for me) and I’ve been out on my own for a bit now so! Here are some tips for when you get sick/how to keep from getting sick.

This covers colds, coughing, sore throats, and fevers. Really any thing that isn’t stomach bugs. So don’t come at me for not having that stuff (not that you all would, just wanting to tell y’all)

Fluids/Food 

Water. I always have a water bottle by my bed for this reason. In case i wake up with cotton mouth or just need water. it’s right there. 

Gatorade! for when i’m actually sick, i have a pack of gatorade in my dorm. it keeps my blood sugar from getting super low if i don’t have the energy to eat, it gives me something to run on, and it’s hydrating

apple juice. i use the little boxes of it cus my brain likes those, but just a juice in general is good. all this boils down to is keeping yourself hydrated. very important when sick/trying to avoid getting sick

Yogurt! If you’re on antibiotics, you need to get the good bio back. I really like the activia yogurt drinks. they’re really tasty and really good for me. Plus, if you have a sore throat, dairy coats it and makes it hurt so much less

Medications

Ibuprofen. so this one might be obvious. It isn’t a cure all! But it works wonders for a lot of things. Fevers, aches, sore throats. It will reduce a fever, and i always keep some by my bed for that reason

-Fevers; if you don’t take care of them quick, you could have serious issues. I mean it. Your brain is overheating. You won’t be able to think straight and you will feel awful. keep stuff that will break them near by just in case.

-Signs of a fever!: Cold, but the room isn’t cold, sweaty even though you’re freezing, shaky, foggy head. and when in doubt, take your temperature. 

Vitamins. I don’t like the pill vitamins. They’re big and icky. So, I take gummy vitamins. Yes i’m an adult, I take gummy vitamins. So? I use the brand Smarty Pants. I get them at target. They’re not icky, they’re fairly cheap, and they’re good. They have childrens and adults. get ‘em

Sleep aids. Olly Sleep Gummies are what I use. When I’m sick and just. can’t relax? Melatonin gummies. Olly is good because it’s not Just melatonin, it’s also some other junk. They also don’t taste that bad.

Self Care/Comfort

Sleep. Just like the sleep aids, when you’re sick or getting sick, sleep is so very important. Weighted blankets are a great help. If you’re coughing a lot, prop yourself up so you don’t have a coughing fit in the middle of the night. Cold compress for fevers, and fans to keep you comfy. Sleep is the best cure, and be sure you get it

Showering. I don’t care if you prefer baths. If you are sick and it is in your sinuses, take a shower. sit down (if it’s not too grody wherever you are) and just let the hot water hit you. The steam loosens mucus and you can dislodge it a lot easier

Humidifier!!!! PLEASE MAN. It’s a life saver. I got mine at target. It was like $30 and takes up about 1.5 cubic feet. If i have a stuffy nose or a sore throat or both, i turn that on, go to sleep, and wake up with neither. it is a god send. 

Brush your teeth. I know you feel gross. But go and brush your teeth. And if you can’t, floss and use mouth wash. Do something that cleans the gunk in your mouth. You will feel better after, I promise

Heating pads. Mine was 15 bucks at kroger. I use it every damn day. On my lap, as a blanket, on my shoulders, back, tummy. Any and everything. Heat relaxes the muscles, and warmth is also nice. I’d recommend one that has an auto turn off so you can sleep with it. But if not, just get one.

Gem Face Roller. Ok. let me explain. I don’t use this for skin care. I use it for headaches. it’s cold (and if it’s quartz, it will just. be cold. on it’s own), i can put light pressure on what hurts. I can use it on sore necks too.

Lanolin. It’s meant for nursing mothers for chapped nipples but it’s so good for chapped lips. And when you’re sick, that usually happens and you usually need help with it. So, lanolin. Also at target

Icepack. Either like a bag, or a gel. Don’t get one of the hard ones that are meant for food. Get one that is Made for the body. For when you’re overheating, or you’re achey or. whatever. Ice. Helps

thermometer!!! So you can see if you have a fever or not! I keep mine on hand and it gives me peace of mind. Got it at walgreens when i stopped to get my ice pack. Like 15 bucks, again. Keep yourself from worrying too much

ok so that’s probably it for now but i hope it helps! I’ll add on if I think of something, love you guys, good luck out there

#sick #sickness #tips #health tips #immune system #immunodeficiency #illness #mason's bs

[mythiccheroacademia]

Ok so I was wondering if you can do a headcanon for Tokoyami, Tenya, Bakugo and if anything a character of your choice and how they would react to Minetta being a perv and saying...weird fetishizing shit abt they Black S/O? I had this in mind for a while lmao 😓🤛🏾

A/N: The fetishizing shit towards black people has got to go. It’s not a compliment, it’s gross. It’s 2020 and I’m over it. I say we start eradicating people who thinks it’s cute :) I’m sure the boys would have the same idea <3

Warning: cussing, some uncomfortable/grody comments that teeter on sexual assault so please be careful!

Tokoyami Fumikage: 

so it’s just a regular degular day at school and you’re going about your way through the halls 

you weren’t even doing anything extraordinary, just getting some books out of your locker before class

then mineta pops up, leaning against the locker, and looking you up and down with a weird smirk on his face

“hey hot stuff” he says with a wink. “what’s got you looking so voluptious on a tuesday morning?”

you’re already aware of what type of bs mineta is on, but you didnt wanna be mean so you just tried to excuse yourself from the conversation, but he doesnt give you the chance to exit 

he keeps swining around these weird compliments

“i couldn’t help but notice you across the hallway, my chocolate king/queen”

atp, you’re feeling really uncomfortable and you want out, but you have no idea how to go about it without coming off rude 

so you kinda just stand there with a sick feeling in your stomach as mineta tries to put moves on you 

but that all stops when the hallways turns dark and everyone in the room feels the hair on their arms stand

floating over your head like a demon from the seven pits of hell is dark shadow who looks two seconds away from going ballistic

out from behind you, tokoyami stands there with a glare that says:

you better come correct or you finna come up missing

you don’t notice it, but mineta sure as hell does

you’re taken aback when the grape dude just about scurries off for his life but you instantly forget about it when you notice tokoyami behind you and dark shadow nuzzles against your head

he smiles and greets you as you tell him how happy you are to see him, totally forgetting about the mineta situation

y’all go about your regular day undisturbed 

meanwhile, everyone is fucking scared shitless bc they were two seconds away from witnessing a murder scene 

tokoyami don’t play when it comes to you 

Iida Tenya: 

everyone thinks iida is a goody-two-shoes guy who solves his problems through logic and reasoning

and i mean...he does

but this man can get down right scary when someone he loves is threatened

this nigga was out here contemplating murder at 15 bruh

anyways 

there was a moment in time you were going through a growth spurt and your uniform was a bit to short/tight on you 

it wasn’t anything inappropriate but you had to order a new set of uniforms and they wouldnt come in until next week 

you weren’t pressed over it until mineta had the bright idea to start whispering some weird shit to you during class

“hey sweet stuff. i bet you’d look even better in my clothes”

you shoot him a glare. “shut it, dirt bag” you mutter under your breath

“why the hate? i’m just tryna get a bite of you. bet you taste like a hershey’s bar” he flirts, wiggling his eyebrows

you just roll your eyes and focus on taking notes

mineta tries to say something one more time before the class freezes as iida snaps a pen in half 

aizawa looks at him w a raised brow “is everything okay iida?”

“tenya?” you question

he shakes his head and apologizes for interrupting class before retrieving a new writing utensil

class ends and most of your classmates file out leaving you, you bf, and mineta

mineta tries to say something slick one more time

“so if you ever wanna fulfil any sexual fantasies about being conquered then you can hit me u--”

just as you were about cuss the pervet out of the country, iida gets ups, stares down at mineta with a glare that could kill 

the engines on his calves start to warningly rumble and theirs a dark look on iida’s face you havent seen before 

“i suggest you leave in the next five seconds, otherwise i’ll have to put you through a crash course on how to have manners when addressing my s/o”

it’s a chilling threat and mineta is out of there before he even finishes his sentence 

once he’s gone, the mood sort of lightens up. iida’s still a little pissed, but he’s quelled once you give him a soft kiss on his cheek

Bakugo Katsuki: 

idk what the hell mineta was on 

but RIP him bc bakugo’s s/o is not the one to be messed with 

and he learned that the hard way 

you were doing some extra training to practice a difficult move 

you thought you were alone until mineta showed up on the side looking like a walmart brand pimp c (rip) 

without even a hello, lil dude comes in with some mess 

“wow, so you’re out here sweating but you still look delicious. black don’t crack, huh”

you pause 

...bitch wtf?

you instantly shut that shit down

“step away from me before i mop the floor with your ass, you purple ballsack” you warn

he deadass thinks youre trying to flirt back 

“woah, calm down. no need to get all fiesty lil mama~”

“mineta, i will step on you if you don’t go somwhere ong”

he thinks you’re playing hard to get, so he plays along. he leaves with his chest puffed out like he did something and heads back to the lockers

you let out a sigh and try to forget that little encounter

but little did you know that your bf was up in the stands, watching you train

he meant to leave a small bento for you, but he got caught up (aka he missed you and just wanted to stare at you for a min)

and now he’s glad he stayed bc he’s got a bone to pick 

mineta opens his gym locker before it’s slammed shut by a hard fist

bakugo looks like the literal devil as he takes mineta’s shirt in his fist and leans in with a threatening growl

“listen here you rotten little bastard. that little stunt you pulled out there, disrepectful. you ever speak to my--actually, if you ever even think about my y/n, i’ll blow you up so fucking bad they’ll be washing you off the walls for weeks. got it?”

he doesnt even let him answer before he drops him on the floor and walks off 

you happen to meet him as he’s walking out and throw your arms around him totally oblivous to the fact that he’s semi-steaming from what just occured

you give him a kiss for the food he made you and it makes him smirk just in the slightest

he’s always there to watch over you, even if you don’t see it

“can’t have you fucking up during training, so make sure you eat properly okay?”

#bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #tokoyami fukimage #tokoyami x reader #tokoyami x black!reader #iida tenya #iida x reader #iida x black!reader #katsuki bakugou #bakugo x black reader #bnha bakugo x reader #bnha x reader #bnha x black reader #bnha x poc!reader #mha x poc!reader #mha x y/n

[why-its-kai]

worried i’m getting sick bc i feel physically grody but maybe it’s the anxiety and stress but maybe it’s both idk. can’t catch a break lol

[hogarthwrites]

the one

pairing: samuel drake/reader (m/f)

genre: angst, friends to lovers

warnings: none? (let me know if i should put any)

words: 2,333

summary:

part 1 part 2 Sam looks back on memories, some good, some he wishes he could forget. He feels bad about leaving you behind, but he's scared of confronting his own feelings.

note:

fin.

India

Sam didn't remember the last time he had pizza. Was it a week after he got out of prison? It definitely didn’t taste as good as it did at that moment. They’d saved the city, gave back to the people, and he probably helped Chloe find love. He did good.

But he didn’t feel all that good .

He couldn’t get the way you looked at him before he drove away out of his mind. He should’ve hugged you or said goodbye. Damn it, Samuel .

“So,” Chloe bit into her slice and stretched out the mozzarella. “What’s with you and that doctor?”

“Doctor?” Nadine raised an eyebrow. “Sam Drake has a someone?”

“I know, it’s hard to believe,” Chloe replied, erupting in laughter.

“Alright, alright,” Sam put up his hands in mock defeat.

“But is there anything going on between you two?” Chloe persisted.

“No?” He quickly said, instantly regretting it. “Shit, yes… No… I don’t know.”

“How do you not know?”

“We’re best friends,” Sam shrugged. “Who,” he glanced at Meenu. “Who hold hands.”

“But do you love this doctor?” Meenu piped in.

He looked at the little girl, her big bright eyes looking up at him in amusement and he didn’t know if he wanted to laugh.

“That’s a big word,” he finished his pizza. “ Love .”

“Coward,” Nadine taunted.

“When did this become a counseling session? Can’t a man just enjoy his pizza without getting grilled about his love life? Jesus.”

“As a friend , I just don’t want you missing out on a good thing,” Chloe poked him.

“Thanks for the concern, but I’m old enough to confront my own feelings.”

“Old enough, but definitely not mature enough,” Meenu muttered.

“Hey, now you’re just hurting my feelings,” he laughed.

“Don’t be a coward, Sam,” the little girl mimicked Chloe and poked him as well.

Chloe gave him a smug look and took another slice of pizza.

1978

“You’re leaving again?” Cassandra followed her husband to the door.

Sam tiptoed to the nursery, where Nathan was left on the rug, playing with blocks. He sat in front of his baby brother and held up his stuffed bear that had an eyepatch to resemble the pirates in his picture books.

“Look at this, Nathan,” he made the bear dance in front of Nathan, who looked nervous as Cassandra and Frank’s voices got louder. “This is Henry. He’s a pirate.”

“Henry!” Nathan reached for the bear.

Sam closed the door to muffle the yelling outside. It was normal now, and even though he was just seven years old, he knew it wasn’t a good thing.

“Why don’t you walk? It’ll be good for you!” Frank was saying.

He knew his mom was sick, but he didn’t know what was wrong. They didn’t ride airplanes or visit the nice lady anymore and Cassandra spent more time asleep than before.

Nathan was preoccupied with Henry when the front door slammed shut and soon after, they heard Cassandra’s footsteps as she ran to her bedroom.

“Mommy?” Sam found her under her blankets, sobbing.

“Oh, come here, honey,” she peered out at him and he crawled in under the blankets with her and Nathan. “I’m sorry you had to hear that, baby.”

“Are you feeling better, mommy?” Sam whispered.

“I’ll be fine,” she sniffled. She stared at her left hand for a while before slipping off her wedding ring. “Love is overrated.”

1987

“Right, so the cash register isn’t too hard to use,” Fred, the manager of the bookstore, led you around the back of the counter. He wasn’t that much older than you – he was probably 18 or 19 – and he stood tall and lanky as he punched buttons on the cash register. “You’ll have accountability for the accuracy of cash and charge transactions.”

“Okay,” you nodded, but you were distracted by a boy and a girl outside the shop. You recognised the boy as your coworker. Sam, was it?

“What’s going on out there?” You gestured towards the couple.

“Ah,” Fred simply glanced up. “Sam’s getting dumped. Again.”

Again? You watched as the girl was visibly upset with Sam while he tried to explain whatever it was he did wrong to her.

“I think you’re all caught up,” Fred gave you a pat on the back. “I have to go back to restocking that Stephen King book. Don’t worry about Sam too, this happens like, once a month.”

“Alright, thanks, Fred,” you busied yourself with rearranging the magazines in front of you, but you couldn’t help but glance up at Sam and the girl.

The conversation seemed to escalate and you clasped your hand against your mouth to suppress a loud gasp when she threw her milkshake at Sam’s face. She walked away in a huff and Sam stood there covered in strawberry milkshake. As he turned back to go inside the store, you looked down at the magazines again, pretending you weren’t just watching him get dumped.

“Shit,” he groaned as he tried to wipe his face clean.

“Geez, that looked rough,” you gave him an apologetic look.

Sam looked at you in confusion, wondering who you were.

“I’m the new hire,” you smiled. “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.”

“Right…”

“Fred keeps an extra uniform in his locker if you wanna use it,” you shrugged. “I saw it when he gave me mine. Maybe you can ask him.”

“Nah, I’ll just pick it open,” Sam went to the back room.

Minutes later, he was back and clean of the milkshake.

“Thanks, you’re a lifesaver,” he smiled and nudged you.

“Don’t mention it. You don’t think he’ll notice it’s gone, do you?” You glanced over at Fred, who was assisting an elderly woman.

“Nah, I’ll put it back before he even notices it’s gone.”

“Right,” you chuckled, turning away as a customer placed some books on the counter. Sam sat on a stool nearby and took out a book to read. Treasure Island.

“So, um,” you turned when the customer left. “What was that out there? If you wanna talk about it.”

“That was Mina,” he didn’t look up from his book. “My now ex-girlfriend.”

“Right, I can see that.”

“She was mad about me working too much.”

“Why? How much time do you spend at the bookstore?”

“I don’t,” he flipped a page. “I work part-time at a garage after hours, fixing motorcycles and shit. Employment’s down, I’m barely getting by as it is. Also, I have shit luck when it comes to love.”

“I feel that. I think it runs in my family.”

“Did you just get dumped too?”

“Nah. My mom got tired of my dad so she ran off with a friend to Europe, then my dad fucked off to God-knows-where-ville.”

“Yeah, my dad fucked off too,” Sam laughed. “We have a lot in common, new kid.”

“I guess we do,” you smiled at him.

You and Sam were lying on your stomachs side by side, elbow to elbow on your bed watching the Angel Casas Show where A-Ha played a song.

“He has nice hair,” you pointed at the singer.

“You think I’d look good with longer hair?” Sam ran his hand through his hair.

Your face scrunched up as you tried to imagine his hair longer. “Your hair’s too messy and greasy to look as nice as his. And you're not blond."

“Is it really that greasy? I swear I try to wash it all off after work,” he pouted.

“Hmm,” you reached over and tousled his hair. “On second thought, try growing it out. It might be cute.”

“Why, thank you for finally recognising my good looks.”

“Alright, don’t let it get to you,” you pushed him off the bed and rolled over, laughing.

Arthur appeared at the door with his hands on his hips. “It’s late and I just want some goddamn rest. Time to go home, young man.”

“Hey, how’s it going, Art?” Sam winked.

“Go home,” Arthur sighed and walked away.

“I guess that’s my cue.”

You watched as Sam searched for his jacket and put it on. He stood in front of the mirror and touched his hair again, trying to style it differently.

“You really think I’d look good with longer hair?” He frowned at his reflection, annoyed that he could never get his hair to behave.

“Yeah, I guess so,” a corner of your mouth lifted into a small smile. You liked hanging out with Sam, and you didn’t know why you started thinking about him more whenever you weren’t together anymore.

“Don’t fall in love with me when I become even more irresistible,” Sam laughed as he climbed out of the window. He leaned in again with a lopsided grin on his face. “I mean it.”

You threw a stuffed animal at him. “Dream on, Sam. That’s grody to the max.”

Present Day

Sam ran his fingers through his hair as he stood outside your door. He’s been debating whether he wanted to go through with this and after a lot of failed attempts at calling you, he ended up at your doorstep.

Fuck it , he thought as he knocked. No answer.

“Come on,” he muttered. “Open the damn door.”

“Sam?” You called behind him.

Sam whipped around to see you walking up the steps with another person. Could it be?

“Fred?” He lifted an eyebrow. Fred was still tall and lanky, but his red hair was tied back in a low ponytail.

“If it isn’t Samuel Morgan,” Fred beamed.

“It’s Drake now,” Sam replied under his breath.

“Are you hurt, Sam?” You moved closer, inspecting his face. He had a cut on his nose, his lip, a bruise on his forehead and his hand was bandaged up.

“What the hell happened to your face?” Fred asked.

“I… fell,” Sam gave Fred a dirty look. “I’m fine.”

“Spare me the theatrics, Samuel,” you pushed past him and opened the door. “Come in.”

You grabbed his arm and led him to your sofa where he sat down with a grunt. His jaw clenched and he twiddled with his fingers while you went to grab your first aid kit.

“I have to go get ready,” Fred stood by the door. “Thanks for today. I really appreciate it. I’ll see you on Monday, then?”

“Of course,” you nodded. “See you then.”

“Hope you get better, Sam,” he nodded at the man on your sofa. “I’d like to catch up sometime.”

“Sure, Freddie boy,” Sam faked a smile.

As soon as the front door closed, you angrily turned back to Sam who tried to avoid your eyes. You unwrapped the bandage on his hand and saw that he had a cut on his palm and a bunch of bruises on his knuckles.

“Hold on,” you sighed and got up to put a bag of peas on his hand.

After you’d cleaned his wounds and bandaged his hand up again, you sat back and rubbed your temples. You didn't know how to deal with him anymore.

“Take care of yourself, Sam,” you muttered.

“Yeah,” he looked at the bandage on his hand and closed his fist as much as he could. “Thanks again.”

You looked up as Sam stood.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “This was a mistake. I didn’t mean to barge in on whatever it is you have with Fred.”

“Huh?” You sat up. “What are you talking about?”

“He did have the hots for you back then, I guess it just makes sense.”

“Wait,” you laughed as you stood up. “Do you think Fred and I are a thing?”

“I–” Sam held up a finger to say something, but he bit his lip as realisation dawned on his face.

“Sam, I’m a doctor. His pregnant wife is my patient,” you crossed your arms.

“Oh…”

“You’re unbelievable.”

Sam pressed his lips together as he moved closer to you. “I’m sorry that was stupid.”

You turned away in frustration, doing your best not to just throw Sam out, but he seemed like he wanted to say something.

"Can you at least tell me what's on your mind?"

“God, Sam. Right now I just have all these what ifs playing around in my head, like what if you didn’t disappear, what if we stayed together, what if we didn’t have that fight before you left for India? It might’ve been fun, we might’ve been good together.” You pointed a finger at him. “But that’s all there is with you, is there? What if? ”

“I was scared, okay?” Sam put his hands up. “I didn’t want to hurt you. Ever.”

You scoffed as you rolled your eyes.

“I’ve never done this before,” he took your hand. “I…”

Sam froze up, his chest rising and falling as he tried to find the words to say. Don’t be such a coward , he told himself. He’s been at the end of the barrel of plenty of guns, nearly died at the hands of so-called “doctors”, lived at the mercy of a rich psychopath, but he couldn’t even say the word love .

“Sam?” Your eyes bore into his.

“I…” He repeated.

Instead, he pulled you in and kissed you. It felt different from the usual, quick kisses he usually gave. It was a soft kiss and he cupped your cheek gently as you melted into his arms. There was an urgency in the kiss, almost like he was desperate to tell you how much he needed this. How much he needed you.

Your eyes were still closed when Sam slowly pulled away.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I should’ve left well enough alone.”

Before he turned away, you took his hand and he turned back to look at you.

“Don’t go,” you pulled at his hand.

“I’m trying… I want to say it,” he let out a breath.

He kissed you again, hoping you understood the message. I love you, damnit.

“I know, Sam,” you kissed his unbandaged hand. “I know.”

“Friends?” He leaned his forehead on yours and you laughed.

“Forever.”

#sam drake x reader #sam drake #samuel drake #uncharted fanfiction #friends to lovers #angst #?

[birbleafs]

[fic] It’s A Matter Of (In)Convenience

Series: Saiki Kusuo no Ψ-nan || The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. Rating: T Genre: Humour, Breaking The Fourth Wall Character(s): Saiki Kusuo, Aiura Mikoto, Toritsuka Reita, Kaidou Shun, Kuboyasu Aren, Nendou Riki, Yumehara Chiyo, Teruhashi Kokomi Warnings: None, save for canon-typical shenanigans Summary: Saiki Kusuo’s plan for a quiet Sunday spent shopping for desserts in an ordinary konbini is thrown into disarray when he runs into several… inconveniences, much to his dismay. A/N: I've been re-reading/re-watching Saiki K. during this quarantine period and I haven't laughed this hard since I was into Gintama. This series has given me so much ridiculous joy, it’s great for helping keep anxiety and existential despair at bay lol. Fic can also be read on AO3

_______

Saiki Kusuo could not say he dislikes commuting by public train but he’s not particularly a fan of it either. After all, it’s exceedingly more troublesome and vexing for someone like him, encumbered with psychic abilities beyond human comprehension. He’s unable to switch off his telepathy at will, so it’s no small feat being stuck in a packed cabin and trying to filter out the cacophonous thoughts of fifty-odd passengers buzzing incessantly in his mind throughout the long ride to the next town. Distance isn’t an issue today, however. Not that it had ever been an issue, mind you—he could teleport to almost any location he so wished. But Kusuo had long since mastered inconspicuousness into an art form, and teleporting to his destination and appearing seemingly out of thin air in the middle of a packed convenience store was sure to draw unwanted attention to himself. No, it’s not worth the risk, even for such a coveted goal at the end of his journey. Besides, Kusuo is a man of principle, one who does not easily succumb to using his powers for self-interest. He will do this the ordinary, pedestrian way.

In any case, travelling out of Hidariwakibara-chō to neighbouring Tonari Machi on a random Sunday morning would also mean the chances of him running into certain... inconveniences are very nearly zero. Forty-five minutes and twelve stops later, Kusuo beams in quiet triumph as he walks past the automatic sliding doors and into the aforementioned convenience store, barely registering the musical jiggle over the speakers. He steps through the sparse crowd, pausing midway through the snack and desserts aisle when he finally catches sight of the neat row of orange boxes with silver trimmings on the top shelf. Kusuo allows himself a tiny grin as he reaches for a box, eyes bright with anticipation as he gazes upon its wondrous contents—three cups of chocolate brownie and cherry parfait, infused with coffee jelly and topped with dollops of luscious cream and cinnamon sprinkles. A simple but unmatched delicacy right here in this nondescript konbini, he thinks, savouring the glorious moment a little longer. Still, as fate would have it, he would be reminded in less than ten seconds that his life is but an unfortunate series of daily disasters, and his current reprieve short-lived. And it comes in the form of a young woman who had waltzed through the crowd and is now latching onto his arm with garishly pink manicured nails, her wavy blonde hair already casting a dark cloud over Kusuo’s face. Aiura Mikoto, resident soothsayer and trendsetter gal. Inconvenience No. 1. Ah. So it begins. “Wassup, Kusuo!” Aiura chirps a little too brightly. Already two or three mob characters in the konbini are throwing scandalized looks their way, but to Aiura they’re nothing but background scenery and lazily drawn silhouettes. “Who woulda thunk we’d meet here like this? It must totes be our destiny as soul mates, fer sure!” Isn’t it more because someone is totes a stalker? Kusuo deadpans telepathically her way, even as he makes no real attempt to avoid Aiura’s smothering embrace. Instead, he fixes her with a stare as blank as stone canvas. This is an invasion of privacy. Also, what’s with the meta observation in the previous paragraph? Stop messing with the readers like that. “Man, you sure are a ray of sunshine sometimes,” Aiura pouts, before she breaks into a giggle and relents. She unlatches herself from him, putting some distance between them. “Anyway, can’t your BFF like, just accidentally bump into you while shopping for the same box of snacks you no doubt travelled all the way out here for?” So you admit you really are a stalker then, Kusuo counters drily, only to frown again at the sudden creeping presence of another aura. He feels the weight of another arm draping carelessly over his shoulder, followed by the brusque yapping of an over-eager and desperate hot-blooded young male in his ears. “Yooo, Saiki-san! What a coincidence!” Toritsuka Reita, the spirit medium and an exemplary specimen of the most depraved life-form, the lecherous scum. Also known as Inconvenience No. 2. Saiki Kusuo, a man most unfortunate, lets out a weary sigh. “I see you’ve got that accusatory glare painted all over your face.” Toritsuka wags an annoying finger before Kusuo. “Now, now. Before you also accuse me of stalking, Mister Doom and Gloom, let me just say that I’m only here for one thing.” He flicks a furtive glance towards a discreet corner of the magazine section. The shelves are filled with magazines wrapped in plastic, large R-18 stickers plastered across the covers and over the spines much like indecent warning signs. Toritsuka dabs towards the third shelf, waving a mini poster at both Kusuo and Aiura, and this sentence then abruptly proceeds to describe the close-up of said poster—a particularly titillating centre spread featuring a curvaceous model’s skimpily clad... assets. “Surely there’s no better reason to be here now than for the special compilation of EROmag’s Greatest Upskirts And Panty-shots Of The Month!” Toritsuka exclaims, echoing the thoughts of all resident perverts. “Ugh, grody to the max,” Aiura says, lips curled in utter revulsion. For once, the stars are aligned and Kusuo finds himself wholeheartedly agreeing with her sentiment. Before he can get a retort in edgewise however, he’s unceremoniously tugged closer into Toritsuka’s one-armed embrace, who then proceeds to thump a hand over Kusuo’s chest in a grand show of obnoxious male posturing and solidarity. “You women will never understand,” Toritsuka counters with an ingratiating smirk. “But Saiki-san and I, we’re bosom buddies, connoisseurs of refined aesthetics. Together, we’ll finally gaze upon those heavenly lace panti—A-ACKK!!” He hacks up a lung just as Kusuo nonchalantly drives a sharp elbow right into his solar plexus, causing him to stagger backwards onto the floor. Bosom buddies? Kusuo echoes ominously, glaring daggers at the pathetic writhing form before him. Pretty sure that ridiculous thump you just pulled is both an outrage and insult of my modesty. Hey, can I call the police? I’m calling the police. Aiura nods at that, lips curved into a Cheshire grin and looking extremely pleased with herself as though she’s the one to suggest calling the cops. “Delusional sleazebags should just crawl back into the garbage bin where they belong. Like the skeevy trash panda that they are, right Kusuo?” “Who are you calling delusional, huh?!” Toritsuka snaps, jumping back to his feet. “I’ll have you know that Saiki-san and I have been nothing but the most loyal, the tightest of all bosom buddies—” Refer to me as your bosom buddy again and I’ll crush your windpipe, Kusuo interjects without missing a beat, and the EROmag poster in Toritsuka’s hand spontaneously combusts into flames. “Argh, not the panties!!” Toritsuka yelps, watching in despair as the poster shrivels up in the blaze, only to catch sight of the eerie, voidless depths of Kusuo’s inscrutable gaze. The spirit medium pales at the split-second reminder of his fleeting mortality, sweat dripping down his nape as he carefully backs away from the precarious jaws of death. “B-B-Bros! I-I meant that we’re the best kind of bro-some buddies, ahahaha! T-That is to say, brotherly and wholesome—R-right, Saiki-san? So don’t get all conceited just because you’ve got big knockers, Tits McGee!!” “Pfft, brotherly and wholesome? As if!” Aiura scoffs, unimpressed. “You’re about as wholesome as your d*ck aura and a college frat boy’s porno stash. Just admit you ain’t nothing but a tiresome anime trope!” “Look who’s talking, Miss Fanservice. This is a wholesome shounen series, so how about you take those bazongas back to Hooters where they belong!” “Haaah? You looking for a fight, you raunchy racoon?!” “Bring it on then!” Kusuo scowls at the petty squabbling, exasperated at how easily his quiet Sunday was already going awry, much like the metaphorical train wreck poised for a manic spiral off its rails. He decides to take his leave then from the two inconveniences bickering loudly, making his way towards the self-checkout station near the entrance. He pays for his items, stealthily packing them away with a subtle flick of his psychokinesis, and is only a few paces away from complete freedom at last when the generic musical jingle blares from the speakers overhead. “♪~Welcome to F☆mily Mart Konbini, We Guarantee 99.9% Shopping Satisfaction! It’s A Matter of Convenience~! ♪” Kusuo frowns at the jingle. Why is it only 99.9% satisfaction? And really, a matter of convenience? Not when he’d already run into two inconveniences in a row and all in a convenience store. Is God conspiring with the universe and pulling a sick prank on him right now? What a horrible sense of humour. The automatic doors at the entrance slide wide open then, and in saunter three terribly familiar faces—Kaidou Shun, Kuboyasu Aren, and Nendou Riki. Inconvenience No. 3, No. 4, and No. 5 respectively. “What did I tell you, Aren? Not only did we manage to beat traffic, but this unexpected change in my Sunday routine would’ve thrown a wrench into Dark Reunion’s plans of attempted kidnapping. Too bad I, The Jet-Black Wing, am always several steps ahead. Heh.” “Uhmm, yeah I guess… Hey, Shun, look! There isn’t a queue for the limited edition Ginta-Man figurine raffle tickets here at all. Good thing you insisted we meet at the crack of dawn—Tch, Nendou, don’t dawdle around and block the entrance like that! What’re you looking at anyway?” “Oh? I thought I saw my pal just a few seconds ago...” “Huh, Saiki’s here too-?! Oh, you mean that. Don’t be daft, Nendou, that’s just a cardboard cut-out of that kiddie hero show, Cyborg Cider-man Mark II.” Seriously?? Kusuo curses irritably as he dives inconspicuously out of sight from the passing trio, right into the bath and shampoo aisle. It’s just been a series of inconveniences one after another this morning, the metaphorical train wreck already hurtling itself past the edge of no return. Good grief, what a pain. May as well have the rest of the cast show up next— Another cheesy musical jingle, another swoosh of the sliding doors, and— “Waahh, it’s really you, Kaidou-kun!” “Hello, what a nice surprise to run into everyone here.” “Oh, hey there, Yumehara and... Offu~! T-T-Teruhashi-san?!” Saiki Kusuo, ever the suffering protagonist, drags a hand over his face. See? God hates him. Two aisles over, he can still hear Aiura and Toritsuka’s voices drifting over: “Man, I’m sick of looking at your pervy mug. C’mon, Kusuo, let’s ditch this loser—Huh, where did you run off to, Kusuo?!” “Your petty squawking has given us all an earache and must’ve driven Saiki-san off as well!” Oi, oi, Kusuo flinches inwardly, seized by a helpless fear of watching his quiet Sunday careening off the cliff and further away from his grasp. Quit yelling out my name like that and throwing me to the wolves already! Too late. At the mention of Kusuo’s name, Nendou cranes his neck 270 degrees Exorcist-style like a hideously monstrous owl and rushes over to Toritsuka’s side. “Oh! Did you just say my pal is here?!” he exclaims happily, shaking Toritsuka by the shoulders like a dog shaking an unfortunate chew toy. “I knew I’d seen him when we walked in earlier!” Not to be outdone by Nendou, Teruhashi also leaps forward before Aiura with none of her previous composure, her unblemished, porcelain visage now dusted with a hint of rose, a conflicted mix of perplexity and (envious) shock pooling in her angelic eyes. “D-Did you say ‘Saiki’?! H-Hey, Aiura-san, you did say ‘Saiki’ and not actually ‘Kusuo’, right? M-My, I must have misheard things, right? R-Right?!” “What the heck is going on? Is Saiki really here?” Anxious, Kusuo grits his teeth at the growing clamour as his friends converge from all corners of the store towards the aisle where he’d been forced to hide. Guess there’s no avoiding it after all, he frets despairingly, and in less than a nanosecond, teleports unnoticed from the konbini to an empty street outside. Kusuo sighs, relieved to have finally escaped. Minor inconveniences aside, perhaps a quiet Sunday spent savouring chocolate brownie and cherry parfait in the comfort of his home isn’t beyond his reach yet. What? Didn’t he just use his powers for self-interest to teleport out of a sticky situation? Foolish readers, that was for self-preservation and completely acceptable, of course. He holds his shopping bag close, pleased that he’d managed to avoid a disaster, and begins to walk down the street—only to freeze mid-step when he feels a sudden splitting headache jolt through him… A flash of images appears: Aiura and Toritsuka crouching in fear together, Kuboyasu bracing his bleeding arm, Kaidou screaming shrilly as he shields Yumehara and Teruhashi from a masked man brandishing a gun, Nendou digging his nose with his pinky—That’s just disgusting, no one wants to see that, stop it!! The vision finally ends, and Kusuo lifts a hand to his face, massaging his temple to clear the precognitive fog from his mind. An armed robbery, huh. He lets out another resigned sigh. Good grief—What a pain, Saiki ‘I-don’t-(but I actually really do)-care-about-my-friends’ Kusuo mutters internally in annoyance, even as he yeets himself head-first into other people’s business and right back into the convenience store to stop a future robbery. Still he smiles, eyes soft with perhaps the slightest flicker of affection for this dysfunctional bunch of people in his disastrous life. Someone has to protect them and save the day, after all.

  –End–

#saiki kusuo no psi nan #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuo #aiura mikoto #toritsuka reita #fanfic #too lazy to tag all the characters here #this show's over the top ridiculousness and crack is 10/10 my type of comedy #i love it lol

[mingi-bubu]

Watch “Youth With You” with Me!

Episode 7 Part 1

- alright it’s another week which means it’s another episode of ywy!!!

- mr. fruit turning tf up as usual.  we stan a blueberry icon

- i’m not eating anything right now but i do have a water with me!  stay hydrated kiddos!!!

- okay and the next group “don’t ask” is on stage here we goooo

- i feel like any foot fetishists are getting their rocks off from this and i hate it

- yay esther!! i know a lot of people don’t like her but i really think (at least right now) she’s very fun and entertaining

- kunkun stop bullying this group just bc you don’t like esther al;dfjka;kldsfj

- lisa the love of my life sweetie you are doing amazing i love you so much

- oooooooh i like the effect

- kay song’s voice is very nice here

- momo’s hair is nice i like her bangs

- dolly’s voice is very much suited for r&b i think

- esther yes that’s my girl!

- i like this song a lot it feels like it’d be in a drama or something

- i think that with everything that esther is and does we forget how she is when she performs

- i mean given that this is like essentially the first performance it isn’t saying much but still

- ooooohhhh those harmonies during the chorus i-

- i would love to see a ballet routine to this song ngl

- i love that there’s so much praise for this concept!  it deffo is v fairy-/dreamlike

- i know i say this every time but kunkun looks sooooo good in blues i love one (1) man

- lisa looking off to the side bc she has no idea what he’s saying???  a big mood.

- iugh its this grody toothpaste man again i’m sick of him

- kay song really did pop tf off i’m not surprised she got first

- love the product promo shot of ella drinking the fruit milk lmaoooo

- ok next group!

- Renai Circulation?  inchresting.  i love their outfits thooo!!!!

- vivi chen’s hair style is so sweet i love it

-yay xiaowei duan!!!  i remember her

- XIAOTANG ZHAO I LOVE HER SO MCUHHH

- oh god are they gonnna make this a ppap situation again?  i don’t know if i want to see nonsense like that on the stage again hhhhh T.T

- ladlfkads;lkfja they’re deadass being told no and it’s 100% because of Kun’s run in Idol Producer llakd;adljf

- xtz reminds me of czk trying to look cute.  it’s just so *taeyong voice* awkward

- kun bitch ill kill you

- al;ksdfja;ldskf stooooopppppp nooooo i don’t want to witness this again dal;kdj;fd

- that song is the reason they cant alter it you fool

- is this when lisa comes for blood???  please????

- i would die for xtz thanks for coming to my tedtalk

- lisa is such a sweetie i love that she cares so much about them T.T

- do they mean pigtails when they say- yeah yeah they do

- awwwww tonkey looks so adorable

- xtz needs to channel her inner esther i think

- I LOVE WHEN THEY USE BUBBLES EVEN THOUGH I’M WORRIED ABOUT THEIR SAFETY ON STAGE

- bc they might slip and i am worried

- xtz has too serious a look her face i caadn;dafdk

- bubble zhu saw this concept and made it hers

- i love kun jsut staring at the screen with a blank expression like *war flashbacks meme*

- xtz really does look like a senior surrounded by underclassmen aldkfadkfj

- i deeply hated it though i was not a fan of the execution of the cute concept but that oculd also be bc they made me have to relive ppap stage

- and cxk’s edward cullen looking ass hairstyle and makeup

- i’m hazel al;dadkl

- xtz has the potential for good leader position too with how she immediately went to comfort everyone about the concepts

- my sleep scheddy has been so fucked up this week i’m falling asleep and it’s not even 21:15.  disgusting.

- i wonder if kun is wearing his insoles right now???

- YES THE STAGE TIANA AND I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR FOR TWO WEEKS NOW UGHHHH

- @zhuzhengtngs tell me what you think blease

- i love xan yia talking about food and completely forgetting she did in fact eat drumsticks a few days ago aldk;fadjf

- OH IS THIS WEHRE LISA IS GONNA GO FOR BLOOD

- ok she’s going for blood in her own way but i still love it

- i would love to have a teacher who cares this much about their students bc she definitely wants to help them succeed which i think is one of the nicest things about this is that you can tell the mentors care so much and want to help the trainees do their best

- not to plane emoji emo hours

- ooh no is she okay??

- tako zhang is deffo keeping it together though but i hope she doesn’t pull a zach werenski and play through an injury

- kun is definitely struggling with what to do

- god i hate it when people put things that definitely aren’t as important as their health above an injury

- and i can say this with validity bc i’m guilty of it as well.  i hope she was able to see a doctor after

- okay time for the stage

- i love this concept so much

- holy shit the splits

- this stage is so visually interesting i am really enjoying it

- shoutout to the camera guy for popping back over to tz bc i would really like to make sure she’s okay

- i want this song on spotifiy like last week

- she looks like she’s about to cry i hate this so much

- this stage is so good tho ugh

- UGH THE THING WITH THE FANS AT THE END I AM LIVING FOR IT

- oh i didn’t even notice the sparkly ribbons in some of their hair during the performance aaaaahhhh that’s so neat

- rightt but how is tako zhang feeling????

- damn that is a good score so far gals

- ok dance results

- hell yeah that’s what she deserves babymonster is a class act lads

- only 28 points speparating play and the eve im screaingming

- i’m glad kun doesn’t pd like yixing did bc i would get so stressed out by that

- what the fuck that really happened

- play --> bad guy --> the eve oh wow that’s a thin fucking line between the scores (relatively)

- vocal section now ladies lezgeddit

- yay naho i was worried that she had left i love her

- i so want ziyi or zzt to show up as a mentor x, maybe even yixing or zhoumi

- oo ok with the fog that’s cool

- i love the glitter tears that keep appearing in the stage makeup .  it’s very fun i think

- naho my chiild i love you amnd im so proud

- is kelly lin the one who’s like already famous or is like an influencer or something?

- i literally hope that naho is able to move up in the classes

- this song is really good like i would deffo cry to this in my car going 70 down the highway at like midnight

- that was a great performance

- i love the people screaming in the audience it kills me

- not surprised by that lowest score

- ahhhh i’m so proud of naho !!!!  incredible

- i love that she’s getting emotional over the dry ice on the stage

- ella my mtoher and love of my life i would die for you

- me too audience, me too

- a;lsdjgslkdf;iwef she’s so funnny i love my mom!!!!

- kun immediately dancing a prince i love him

- ooh we love a gingham pattern

- ok that’s cute

- i too am a frying pan

- ok wow yoga fuckign out them like that i guess

- i’m so tired im deffo going to sleep after i watch part 2 bc we have like a little over 5 minutes left in part 1

- me: *sees their staging*

- me: *is violently thrown back into flashbacks from high school detention*

- i love this song and not bc im biased towards ella

- i got so distracted watching and listening that the song is literally over and i haven’t talked about it at all aldkfja;lkdsjf

- they harmonized nicely and the lights were very pretty

- i hate the big shiny plaque on yoga’s blazer

- ella truly is someone who i think is a very valuable person to have in your life based off of the advice she gave the trainess

- one of these days im gonna ask tiana to explain why the voting audience are called producers and why cxk as the main mc is called youth producer rep and i’m writing this here so i’ll rembember to

- ok that was all for part one.  part two coming soon!

#ywy #youth with you #idol producer #e7 p1 #cpop #jae.txt #jae.wwm

[iamalivenow]

“I can’t believe you made me meet you here.”

“Oh, can’t you?”

The cafe is a little grody, he can admit, but it’s homey, it’s nice, it’s tucked into a corner a block away from a truck stop- okay, yeah sure, he gets like maybe half of the complaint, but Gable is really putting the wrong foot forward. Sure the neon lights aren’t really coffeeshop vibe, and sure the random pinups on the wall could be considered slightly tacky, but that’s neither here nor there, really.

He leans on the counter with his elbows, back to the nonexistent barista and facing Gable who looks a little out of breath (hot) and already very put upon (hot, also). He’s glad his scarf is pulled up as tight and as high as it is.

“Travis what am I doing here?” It’s barely a question, sighed out dramatically the way it is.

“Really, what is anyone doing here.”

“Travis.”

There’s a jingle of the bead curtain, (because of course there’s a bead curtain) and Travis turns around to look at the barista.

“We could have robbed you blind.” He informs the kid, leaning on the counter again.

“I wouldn’t have done that,” Gable says behind him, and Travis can’t help but smirk. You’d think criminals would be less honest in this day and age. Not that they were criminals, of course, of course not.

“Go ahead.” The kid pulls out his phone. “You think I’m going to die for burnt coffee?”

“Zenith.” Travis drags out, tongue pressed against his teeth. “That’s really not how to advertise your services.” He’s been coming to this place for a few years now, whenever he’s in town really because he really vibes with the atmosphere. Zenith’s new- newish- newish on Travis time. It’s been maybe two or three years since he’s started working here.

“You’re not here for my services, you’re here for bad coffee.”

“Mm- You got me.” He reaches over the counter and pulls Zenith’s phone out of his hands. “You can get this back when you make me an iced latte.”

“It’s snowing outside.”

“And you have the heater on. Come on. Gable, what are you getting? Gable?” Travis turns around, and Gable is staring at him. Annoyed. Fun.

“I’m so sorry for him.” They sweep the phone out of Travis’ hand as they push him aside, very smooth, and push it back into Zenith’s hands. “Just a black coffee.”

Zenith looks between the two of them and then shrugs.

“Put it on my tab,” Travis calls, already heading to his table.

It has his name on it and everything.

Gable takes their time, waiting for the drinks to be made even though Zenith totally would have walked them over because Travis tips so well. Maybe in money that isn’t federally traded but that’s neither here nor there. They walk over slowly, careful not to spill either drink on the already sort of gross floor.

“Why are we in a hole in the wall?” They ask again.

“Xanadu is lovely, how dare you.” He sips his drink as loudly as he can. There’s his guaranteed eye roll. “You know Dref?”

“Dref? Dref, our coworker who we see every single day?”

“Yeah, have you heard of him?”

“Christ.” They lean back in the chair, and it creaks under all of their weight. “Yes.”

“He has something that I really want. And he won’t give it to me, because he thinks it's dangerous’ and that I’ll ‘abuse it’ whatever that’s supposed to mean.” His air quotes go without saying.

Gable takes a sip and sputters.

“This is awful.”

“Of course, it is.” He leans back in his chair, legs up on the table and who’s going to stop him if they’re the only people in this place. Zenith? Zenith doesn’t give a fuck. He has no idea where Zenith disappeared too, actually, maybe to go make out with his weird magic boyfriend who maybe sleeps in here sometimes. “Listen. Are you going to help me break into Dref’s office or not?”

“What- Why- Travis, why would I do that?”

“Because I’m your favorite.”

“You’re not. Jonnit’s my favorite. I mean, not that I prescribe to favorites.” Travis makes a face, really plays up the hurt emotions. “That’s just objectively incorrect. It goes Jonnit-”

“Okay.”

“And then my birds.”

“O-Kay.” He drags out.

“Then, the captain.”

“I heard the elderly are supposed to be polite.” His pride isn’t hurt, it isn’t, because that would be ridiculous. As if Travis Matagot would be swayed or really even bothered by something like being told that a corpse outranks him.

Well, Orimar did make a very hot corpse.

“Have you met yourself?”

“I’m a delight.”

“Ha!” Gable takes another sip and recoils. “This can’t be safe for human consumption.”

“Good thing we’re not.” He whispers, and Gable cracks a laugh. God, finally, someone recognizes his brilliance for what it is. He brings his cup up to his face and puts the straw in his mouth with no hands on the very first try. There. Could a corpse do that? “So Dref’s office-”

“I’m not going to help you steal from our coworker, Travis, that’s insane.”

“It’s really not.” Eyebrows raised. Maybe even a little waggle. “Come on,” He whines, but in a cute and fun way and not at all in a way that’s pathetic. “We make such a good team.”

There’s a pronounced pause, a sink turns on somewhere in a backroom, and Gable looks him over again. They are really good at making him Almost second guess his choices. But only almost.

“What is it?”

“A skull.”

“Travis, what the fuck.” He laughs, sure that he’s got them now, and leans forward, almost having the chair slip out from under him in the motion.

“Okay, so listen, remember when we pulled off that totally sick and completely legal robbery.”

“Travis!” They hiss because Zenith walks back into the front with a rag in his hands. Whatever.

“I said legal, it’s fine. There was a chest of shit, and we all called dibs right, so I found a skull. And Dref found out and got super weird about it, because you know how weird Dref is.” Gable just gives him a flat look. “Horny. Like murder horny.”

“Travis, we are in public.”

“Like really into skulls and shit- you get my point.”

“Mm.” It’s high pitched. (Cute.)

“Right. So it’s in his office, somewhere, for ‘my mental wellbeing’ or whatever, when really he’s probably just being weird. Again. Can you help me get it back, please?”

“Oh wow, manners?”

“I know, I’m really trying here.”

“A-” They lean forward until they’re very close to his face. “A skull?”

“Yeah.”

“Who’s skull is it?”

Travis swallows more bad coffee.

“Someone like me.” He takes a moment, and everything feels still again. Gable stares. "Something. Something like me."

Thinking about it, he really should have lead with that, because Gable says yes instantly.

#skyjacks #campaign podcast #sky jacks #campaign skyjacks #writing #full fic

[the-ipre]

Hiii if you're still taking prompts, could you write some Blupjeans with #22 (you smell nice)?

“You smell nice,” Lup said, crinkling her nose jokingly at Barry as he stood in the middle of their living room, assorted blood-and-rot splatters on his robe. Given how strong the smell was to his own nose, it was probably even worse for hers, seeing how she had recently been returned to her body and all those sensations that she had been missing out on were back ten times as strong.

She did have a stuffy nose, though, so maybe she was just saying that to make a point. Wouldn’t be the first time she would do such a thing, and she wouldn’t be Lup, the love of his life, without that sense of drama.

“Yeah, uh, sorry about that,” Barry said, trying to prestidigitate away the worst of the stains. “Got caught up in a necromantic circle, while Kravitz was trying to take ‘em out they asked me for advice. I told them to puree the heart they were offering-”

“Which blew up the circle?”

“Which blew up the circle.” Barry sighed, peeling off his robe and dropping it in a heap in the corner. He could deal with that later, but for now he just wanted to relax, let his muscles unwind – because only now, after over a hundred years, was he really starting to feel his age – and sit with his wife. “How was your sick day?”

“Well, babe,” Lup said, leaning into Barry when he sat down next to her. “Having skin and all that jazz again is fun, don’t get me wrong, but I sure do miss breathing.” He laughed, and when she tried to join in a cough wracked through her chest. There was a sharp feeling of worry, because he’d gone for so long without her that it felt like the smallest thing could shatter the dream that Lup was finally back, but when she wiped her hands on her sweatpants – grodie, a voice that sounded like Taako’s murmured in his mind – he locked down his nerves. This was Lup, of all people, who had ripped out her soul and been all the stronger for it, and a little cold wouldn’t get her so easily. “Blech, I should get some Fantasy Vicks, my chest fucking hurts. Sure you should be sitting this close, though? ‘M pretty sure that I’m still diseased.”

Barry hummed with a smile, before slinging an arm over her shoulders and pulling her closer. “I’ve got a high constitution score, I’ll be fine. You, though. Is tonight a chicken soup kind of night?”

Lup pulled her hands through the strands of his hair while she thought, and judging by the easing of the smell of necromantic gunk, she’d dealt with some of the blood left on him. “Missed a spot. And, I would say chicken noodle, but I also don’t super want to make any, and I also don’t super want to eat burnt soup, and I love you but you still don’t know how to not burn the noodles.”

“Ouch, but also, you’re right.”

“Natch.”

“How about ramen? I can make it, you can add however much of the flavor packet as your expert flavor pallet deems fit?” Barry ran his fingers up and down Lup’s arm, smiling when he felt her burrow in deeper to his side. 

She hummed, and he could feel the vibrations in his own chest. “That sounds good. For now, though-” and her words were cut off by another series of coughs, and she grumbled. “Fuck, I hate being sick. For now, though, could you just stay here?”

“I am here,” Barry said with a grin, and then there was a thwap as one of Lup’s ears flicked him on the cheek. “Of course. Dinner can wait.” Lup leaned back against him, resting her head on his shoulder, and he tilted his head against the top of hers. From there, he had a clear line of sight to his work robe, and there was a slight sizzle in the air as some gunk began eating into the material. “Any thoughts on what I should do with that?”

“Burn it.” Lup’s answer was instantaneous, and he laughed, turning to place a kiss on the top of her head before settling back against the couch. He could feel her breathing, chest rising and falling against his, and as they simply existed together, that movement repeated a chorus in his head of she’s alive, she’s alive, she’s alive. 

#thanks!! sorry this is so late lol #ash writes #ask #blupjeans #barry bluejeans #lup #taz #taz balance #the adventure zone #the adventure zone balance #Anonymous

[hermannsthumb]

do you have any soft newmann hc's? i'm sick on vacation and feel So grody and bummed, but your writing always cheers me up!

hey man same boat im sick over my winter vacation too!! misery together...heres some nice newmann hcs

hermann always downplays it when he’s sick to the point that he looks like a walking corpse and newt has to physically drag him to bed. but it’s ok because newt will willingly sacrifice his own health to wait on hermann hand and foot

he’s like semi-aggressive about it tho. he tucks hermann in tenderly and strokes his hair all while being like god i can’t BELIEVE you’re making me do this. how DARE you get sick. do you want a massage. obviously i’m going to read to you

newt plays the guitar for hermann a lot, usually while they’re relaxing somewhere, and twists lyrics of songs to be abt hermann instead. this bullet point brought to u by the realization that newt teasingly singing brown-eyed *boy* to hermann would be VERY cute

dad bod newt.....please

very appreciative hermann

newt “““flexing””” while shirtless and being like OH YEAH LIKE WHAT U SEE BIG BOY (hermann does)

i invite u to imagine the two of them getting lost in ikea while arguing over which furniture would look best in their new apartment and then like making up/out on a display couch somewhere 

hermann probably tears up when they move everything in to their place and newt’s like??? it’s a shitty apartment? and hermann’s like i never though i’d get this with you and then they both kinda gt weepy and kiss a bunch

slow dancing in their tiny kitchen... hermann’s head on newt’s shoulder, newt humming in his ear and swaying them slowly, jokingly complimenting hermann’s moves (you must have trained with only the finest dance instructors dr gottlieb...)

they love each other so much and they would have so many photographs and photo albums of themselves together around their apartment....wedding photos everywhere (newt rubbing cake all over hermann’s face, their first dance, when they snuck away from the crowd to kiss in secret and the photographer caught them)....polaroids from their honeymoon (grumpy sunburned hermann in a big dumb sunhat and socks with sandals and a blurry selfie one of them laying intertwined on a towel while hermann sleeps)......trips they’ve taken together (more blurry selfies with beautiful scenery, some shitty pub in germany when they visited where hermann grew up)...newt framed the photo that was on the back of their book of published joint research where they both look completely ridiculous (they refused to let anyone style them for the photoshoot)

valentines day in the shatterdome! newt would absolutely go out of his way to shower hermann with grand romantic gestures...buys him chocolates and flowers and gets takeout and arranges it with little candles in the lab......makes him valentines with nerdy puns...leaves rose petals all over his side of the lab and draws pink hearts on his chalkboard

when hermann’s hands get cold he subtly indicates this to newt (aka not subtly he just clears his throat a bunch and flexes his fingers) until newt very graciously holds them to warm them up

newt painting hermann’s fingernails is *chefs kiss* already but especially if it’s that vaguely translucent kind with the bits of tiny glitter stars in it

i love thinking about the kind of rings they pick out when they get married...newt would probably try to buy hermann the gaudiest fuckin thing before hermann convinces him it should be sensible, dear, that they should just get plain gold bands. newt agrees to it but only on the condition that he can buy hermann a huge gaudy engagement ring because they have MONEY now

speaking of which now that they have money (they have enough for rent and groceries with some left over which means newt insists theyre rich) newt showers/pampers hermann with everything he could possibly want. expensive bubble bath! fancy expensive imported tea that hermann had no idea existed! expensive bedsheets! hermann eventually has to sit him down and be like. newton i love you but this is TOO much

i think i included this in a bullet pt headcanon list before but newt definitely says WOW!!!!!!!!! after their first kiss

#newmann #headcanon tag #long post ///////// #Anonymous

[adventuresloane]

Lup, Raven Queen, Barry, Ango and totally Ren. ;) maybe sloane also! For the HC meme❤️

(for this meme)

Kat this is……SO many oh my lord. I’m gonna put most of theseunder a cut!!!  You’re a doll tho thanksfor all the asks.

Lup:

A) What I think realistically: I love the idea that,contrary to popular belief, she’s the younger twin! When they were kids, Taakowould always be the one who had to get her out of the trouble she got herselfinto. Taako’s always been a bit more pragmatic, but Lup just couldn’t standdisrespect towards her or her brother and would always address it. She stood upto people and probably bit off more than she could chew a number of times,meaning Taako had to help her out of a tight spot.

B) What is fucking hilarious to me: Lup at one point had apretty major crisis in her life because she loves to cook for people anddesperately wanted to show her affection for Barry by cooking for him, but.This man has lived off late-night hot pockets out of his laboratory microwavefor years. He doesn’t have a palette. One time she overheard him call ketchupspicy and she just kind of stared at the wall for five minutes. She spent manyan evening slaving over recipe books to try to find SOMETHING decent that thisuncultured man would actually enjoy.

C) What is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict onfriends: She’s got…a number of lingering issues after her release from theumbrella. There’s a lot of talk about how she develops claustrophobia, andwhile I think that’s certainly true, I think another thing that leaves hershaken is the utter darkness inside the staff. Before she was able to get herpowers back to create fire, the darkness in there must have been absolute andchilling. Imagine how long she lay there entirely blind and unable to make outanything. I don’t think she can sleep with the lights off anymore. She alwaysat least leaves the hall light on outside the bedroom, but even that’s notenough much of the time, and she often plays with a little fireball in herhands until she can’t keep her eyes open anymore, so that she knows there’sstill light where she is.

D) What would never work with canon but the canon is shit soI believe it anyway: Griffin says that the Legato performance was the firsttime the rest of the IPRE crew realized that Barry and Lup were in love butcome the fuck on. These guys??? They’re so incredibly obvious and crazy foreach other. Even if they didn’t tell their family explicitly EVERYONE knew forYEARS.

Raven Queen

A) Every raven in Faerun is at her beck and call. The birdshave a bit of magic to them inherently and find it easy to slip from plane toplane. She’ll dispatch them to carry messages or keep an eye on things for herand report back. She VERY rarely comes to the mortal planes, but you can alwaystell when she’s on her way. Thousands of ravens circle together tightly in thesky, their iridescent wings shining, and from the almost blinding andotherworldly shimmer a portal forms through which she comes.

B) Has motherly instincts towards Kravitz but no concept ofwhat being a parent to a former mortal actually entails. At what age does onestop picking up mortal children? 35? Her idea of mother-son bonding is enactinga blood oath. She’s trying her best.

C) Kravitz became her “ward” of sorts when he begged andprayed to her for months on end to spare his sick mother and take his lifeinstead—he made a brave trade and she respected him for it, hence his positionas a reaper.

D) She grants Magnus a “limited” amount of extra time livinghappily with Julia in the afterlife but honestly do you think she’ll ever makethem stop living in that little cabin? Heck, do you really think she’s going tokeep their friends from leaving the sea of souls to visit them whenever???She’s willing to turn a blind eye to their little party for the rest ofeternity.

Barry

A) He is just……so visibly huggable tbh. You look at him andyou’re like, “That’s a man who’d be good to just hug for a little while. Chubbysoft belly. Just a teddy bear of a man.

B) The boy is a classic academic research scientist, whichis to say a damn mess. He’ll periodically crop his hair short but then won’tbother to get it cut again for months on end because he’s too busy, so it growsout all wild and looks a mess. He has one (1) mug he keeps on his desk and likenever washes because it’s always filled with coffee anyway. Shows up to work ina stained T-shirt because it’s not like anyone’s paying attention to him whenhe’s locked up in his lab all day anyway. Grody science man.

C) Next to Taako, he’s the one who takes the longest toforgive Lucretia, and I sort of think he never completely gets over what shedid. Unlike everyone else in the IPRE crew, he was deliberately isolated fromthe rest of his family AND HE WAS AWARE OF IT. That’s fucked up, and he learnedto hate Lucretia for awhile, and that’s not the kind of thing that can beerased as soon as Story & Song is over. He can barely look her in the eyefor awhile.

D) He does NOT have a mullet do not to my boy dirty likethis.

Angus

A) All this debate over Magnus or Taako or Lucretia orwhoever the fuck adopts Angus post-S&S? Screw that noise. It’s not like anyof the adult figures in his life AREN’T walking disasters as individuals—it’sonly together that they’re sort of capable of functioning. That’s why he haslike twenty parents and splits his time between like five different houses,inside each of which he has his own room and where he is welcome at all hoursof the day and night. That kid is living the dream.

B) Absolutely drops f-bombs on purpose knowing that it willscandalize the adults he talks to. This boy is a delight and has never doneanything wrong but he is NOT the innocent little one everyone thinks! Sneakyboy!

C) Gotta be honest, I don’t have the heart to actuallyimagine Angus having any suffering inflicted upon him, BUT I do like the ideaof Taako being lowkey terrified every time he goes off on his own/tries toconduct an investigation that has a chance of being dangerous. He tries not toshow it and definitely plays it cool when Angus comes back safe every time, buthe’s got so very few people he feels really connected to and he doesn’t want tolose one of them (again).

D) Controversial, but he remains a shrimpy nerdboy foreverand does not get to be buffer than Magnus sorry.

Ren

A) Hot take: she’s a soft butch. My evidence? I know a bunchof butches named Ren and also she just gives off those Lesbian Vibes. Butch Ren2k19.

B) She is…small. Just so short, even by the standards ofelves, which are on average smaller than humans. It might be partly because she’sa Drow, since I personally headcanon that they don’t grow quite as big, buteven then she’s just. A little creacher. She has to use a spoon to knock downthings from shelves that everyone else in the tavern can easily reach. Cassidyjokingly uses her head as an armrest.

C) Her family is definitely still around and definitely wereoutside of Refuge when the barrier was created around the town and they justhad no way whatsoever of contacting her. They aged while time didn’t touch her.

D) This is more in opposition to D&D lore than to theTAZ canon, but I personally don’t like to think that Ren ever faced anyprejudice for being a dark elf. The whole idea of the Drow being cursed and 99%of them being evil is, imo, very tired (not to mention racist), so I just don’twant that being a part of her story. I think maybe Underdark elves have a bitof a reputation in the surface realms for being kind of staid and dour, so inthat way Ren defies some conventions by being her bubbly self. But aside fromthat, she never had an issue with anyone thinking less of her or hating her forbeing a Drow.

And fuck it, I know I did Sloane already but I have gothbirb headcanons coming out of my ass so I’ll do her again.

A) Tbh I like to think that her alias is something she put alot of thought into and something she identifies really strongly with. Like,ravens are obviously just objectively cool and fit the goth aesthetic she’sgoing for, but also I think growing up in Goldcliff (which I picture as beingjust like the American Southwest) she had a lot of experience observing themand felt kind of a kinship with them (and probably fed them to get them tofollow her around tbh). In some folklore, ravens are considered shapeshifterson account of how the sun reflects off their wings and makes them look likethey’re changing shape. I think that by assuming the persona of the Raven, shebecomes something more than what she appears to be, and it’s a bit of escapismfor her. (Also, ravens are known to be family-oriented and mate for life sothat proves fitting later on…)

B) It kinda breaks my heart whenever people draw her (orhalf-elves in general) with shorter/smaller ears than full-blooded elves,because in my head hers are long and twitchy! She’s pretty good at hiding howshe feels and not giving away too much with her body language, so her ears don’tnecessarily move around a ton to express how she’s feeling, but they doinvoluntarily react to sound, e.g. perking up when she hears a sudden noise.Hurley finds this adorable and exploits it to no end—like snapping her fingersnext to one of Sloane’s ears and then the other to make them pique alternatelyuntil Sloane finally gets fed up.

C) This is kind of more of a headcanon for half-elves ingeneral, but I remember seeing a post awhile back that said something along thelines of “D&D cryptid: a half-elf with a good relationship with theirfamily.” It was funny, but it did get me thinking: what’s a good narrativejustification for this? One of the answers, I think, is that half-elves grow ata rate that must be completely bewildering for their elven parents. They reachmaturity at around 20, compared to a full-blooded elf becoming an adult ataround 100. There’s probably a lot of potential for friction there as elvenparents are unable to handle or understand their kids as they mature soquickly. Plus, most half-elves don’t outlive their elf parents, and knowing you’remore than likely going to bury your kid one day has got to be hard. I think allof this was sort of the situation for Sloane growing up, and it was the sourceof a lot of the isolation she felt as a child.

D) She has big biker energy and actually prefers motorcyclesto battlewagons and that’s the tea.

LAWD this was a lot. Hope you like them!!!

#i typed this in a word doc initially and it was almost 2000 words fsdkjbvkgbdlj #starlight seeker #ask meme #headcanons #lup #barry bluejeans #angus #ren #raven queen #sloane #blupjeans #taz #taz balance #the adventure zone #my txt

[sonicrainicorn]

Five Times a Story was in Logan’s POV and the One Time it Wasn’t

The other five stories: Logan is Berry Done, A Complex Solution, Star Wars Always Helps, Anything For You, Love Story

Words: 1920 Desc: Cold season is fast approaching. The twins manage to not catch anything, Patton isn’t around enough humans to breathe their same air, and then there’s Logan. He’s having a pretty bad time. TW: None

///

The front door had a consistency of getting stuck. Not that it mattered or anything -- it just got on Patton’s nerves. It could open fine but closing it was the problem. It would get stuck on the frame as if they weren’t made for each other in the first place. He’d have to press his whole body against it in order to get it to fit. But somehow, Logan always had a way to close it without that issue. So when Patton got home and the door did its thing, he instinctively turned to where Logan should have been.

Upon seeing that he wasn’t there, Patton let out a little huff. “Logan?” He called out. “Can you help me with the door?” He didn’t want to deal with it if he didn’t have to. Though when he received no response, he frowned and shoved the door closed. It made the frame shudder.

Patton locked it and dropped his keys into the little basket that sat on the stand by the door. “Hey, kids?”

After a second or two Roman appeared at the doorway to the living room.

“I didn’t realize ‘kids’ meant only one of you.” Patton put his hands on his hips.

Roman shrugged. “We didn’t wanna get up and then I lost rock-paper-scissors. So here I am.”

Patton couldn’t help but smile. “Well, I just wanted to ask if your dad’s home.”

“He’s in his office.”

Patton frowned for a second but turned it into a smile for Roman. “Thanks, kiddo. You can go back now.” Then he remembered he was a responsible parent. “You two better be doing your homework.”

He received half-hearted affirmations from both twins. They all knew Patton wasn’t the one they should be worried about when it came to not doing homework.

With that out of the way, Patton walked to Logan’s office -- well -- “office”. It was really just the third bedroom. They turned it into a mini office since the twins stayed in the same room for the time being. Whenever they decided they wanted their own rooms then the office would cease to exist.

The door wasn’t closed all the way. Patton knocked on it as he pushed it open. “Logan?” He paused at the doorway.

Logan was asleep at his desk. His papers were skewed about the desktop and his glasses were pushed awkwardly against his face. Honestly, this wasn’t even the messiest Patton had seen this place, but somehow it managed to look chaotic.

Patton walked up to his sleeping husband and knocked on the desk. “Logan.” He waited a moment or two before knocking again. “Wake up, Logan.”

That succeeded in causing Logan to push his face further into his arms as if trying to get away from the noise.

Patton hesitated. He knew Logan had a great dislike for being touched without seeing who was doing it. He may not have known the reason but he respected it. Though… maybe this one time wouldn’t hurt?

He made sure to be as gentle as possible when he put his hand on Logan’s shoulder and shook it. “C’mon, sweetie, time to wake up.”

Logan shot up and Patton withdrew his hand, muttering an apology. Logan groaned. “Turn off the light,” he grumbled and pressed his fingers to his temples.

“Uh. Logan, that’s the sun.” Patton furrowed his brows.

“What?” Logan dropped his hands. “What time is it?” He lifted and moved around random papers. It didn’t seem he found what he was looking for because he fell back against his chair with a pout. “I lost my phone.”

Patton frowned. “It’s right here.” He picked up the phone resting at the corner.

Logan squinted at it despite the fact he still had on his glasses. “I don’t remember putting that there.”

Patton’s frown deepened. “Are you feeling okay?” He put the phone in his pocket. Giving it to Logan might have been a bad idea.

“I feel… not… good.”

That wasn’t the most eloquent Logan had ever been, but at least it got the point across. “Let me see.” Patton pressed his hand against Logan’s forehead. As soon as their skin touched, the answer was obvious. “Honey, you’re burning up.”

Logan frowned a bit. “I don't like what that entails.”

Patton retracted his hand. “Logan --”

“Don't say it.”

“ -- you're sick.”

Logan groaned and placed his forehead on the desk. “You said it.”

“Well, it's true.” Patton leaned against the desk. “And I'm going to guess it's worse than a cold.”

Logan groaned again, louder this time.

Patton knew how much Logan hated being sick. It didn't leave much room for productivity. He was so concerned about not getting sick that it was almost an obsession; he made it a mission. There were so few times that he actually got sick that Patton didn't remember what it was like. Another mystery that he let Logan keep to himself.

“Sorry, bumblebee, but you gotta get some rest.”

“But I’m working,” Logan whined. Something he hardly ever did, but it amused Patton a bit. He sounded like a little kid.

Patton swallowed his amusement for a moment. He needed to focus. “Really? When I came in it kinda looked like you were sleeping.” He gave an innocent smile.

Logan glowered at him -- well -- what Patton assumed was supposed to be a glower. It looked more like a grumpy pout. How cute.

“I’m just telling you the truth.” Patton shrugged. All silliness aside, he had to get Logan into bed before he got even worse. He might even give him some NyQuil so he can stay there. “Now come on, you need some sleep.” He held out his hand.

“Let me finish…” Logan trailed off as he stared at the desk with a perplexed expression. He once again lifted up and moved around papers only to come to a similar conclusion as last time. “... I seem to have misplaced the paper I was working on.”

Patton hummed. That was as good a sign as any. “Alright. Time to go to bed.” He grabbed Logan’s hands and pulled him to his feet.

On the way to the bedroom, Logan continued to whine but didn’t protest further. Patton was glad for that. He could deal with a sick, whiny Logan. He didn’t know if he could deal with a sick, stubborn Logan. He’d imagine that would be a lot worse.

“I can handle myself, you know,” Logan mentioned as Patton insisted on tucking him into bed.

Patton stopped to give him a look. “Says the guy who fell asleep on his desk and then lost two separate things.” He smiled a bit at Logan’s flustered expression. “It’s alright to have someone help you out every once in a while. You’re allowed to take breaks.”

“That’s not a mentality I’m used to,” Logan mumbled into the blankets.

Patton figured if he was feeling better then he might not have been so honest. Logan had a tendency to hide when things were not so optimal. He didn’t know why. It wasn’t as if he had grown up in a position where he would have to. Sure, he lost his mother at a young age, but that didn’t necessarily correlate. Did it…?

Ah, well, not the time to psychoanalyze.

“We’ll work on that.” Patton booped his nose. “But now you have the whole weekend to stay in bed and do nothing but get better.”

“You’re not actually going to expect me to do that the whole time are you?” Despite the clearly sick haze, Logan still managed to appear unamused.

Patton leaned over to slip off his glasses. “I think that’s going to happen whether you want it to or not.” He set them down on top of the latest book Logan was reading. “You seem pretty sick, bumblebee.”

Logan huffed and slid down further into the blankets. Only his eyes could be seen now. “M’fine.”

“Right. I’ll be back.” Patton stood up. Before leaving the room all the way he turned back around and pointed at Logan. “Don’t move from that spot. I’ll have to come after you if you do.”

Logan rolled his eyes.

Patton walked to the kitchen and stopped in his tracks. The twins were in there. Virgil stood on a step stool to monitor a pot on the oven and Roman stood on his tip-toes to try to see from Virgil’s viewpoint. Now, this shouldn’t be such a bad thing; they were almost eleven, after all. But Patton knew his sons well. They weren’t the most coordinated. So it was safe to say this made him a little nervous.

“What are you boys up to?” He peeked over their heads. The pot contained chicken noodle soup. How they managed the can opener, Patton didn’t want to know.

“We heard that Daddy’s sick,” Roman answered. “So we decided to make him something to feel better.” He smiled up at Patton.

“It was Roman’s idea,” Virgil continued, eyes trained down into the pot. “But I did all the work.”

Roman pouted at him. “Nuh-uh. I helped.”

“Well, I’m sure he’s going to appreciate both of you making this for him.” Patton decided to say something before the two got into an argument. No arguments needed to be had in front of a hot stove. “When it’s ready I’ll help you pour it out.”

Once the soup had been completed, Patton set it off to the side. The twins still buzzed around, wanting to help in any way they could, but Patton asked them to wait. He still had to get Logan some medicine -- and water while he was at it.

Both the twins made disgusted reactions when the medicine cabinet was opened. To them, all the grody stuff lived in there. Patton laughed and told them that it wouldn’t be for them. He did, however, make one of them hold the little cup after the medicine had been poured in it. They did rock-paper-scissors with Roman being the loser. He ended up holding it. That meant Virgil got to hold the glass of water while Patton got the soup. Teamwork.

Patton led them down the hall, warning them not to spill anything.

When they got there Logan was curled under the blankets and fast asleep. As much as Patton would have loved to leave him there, he had to eat. He set the soup down on the nightstand and the twins followed suit with their respective items.

“Logan,” Patton muttered. He sat on the edge of the bed. “You have to wake up.”

The bed shook.

Patton looked over to see Virgil sitting with his legs crossed, but Roman seemed to have fallen on top.

“Oops,” he whispered.

Virgil covered his mouth to stifle his tiny giggles.

That was enough to wake Logan up, though. He blinked his eyes open and looked more confused than anything else. “What’s going on?” His voice was thick with grogginess and the beginnings of congestion.

“Surprise,” Patton said, making sure to keep his voice low. “Roman and Virgil joined the party.”

“We made you soup,” Roman declared a bit louder than he probably should have. He crawled to be in a similar position to Virgil.

“They wanted to make you feel better.” Patton smiled.

Logan sat up and gave them a sleepy smile of his own. “Thank you both.” He turned to Patton. “I think you were right about that staying in bed thing.”

Of course, he was. And if he wasn’t, Logan wouldn’t have had a choice anyway.

#you know #i originally had a different story in mind #with a lot more angst #but i figured enough angst was planned for the future #so enjoy this fluff #hey #look what's back #this has been sitting in my drafts #i finally got around to finishing it #berry done au #logan sanders #patton sanders #logicality #roman sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides #sick fic

[indieharry]

Mark Your Territory 

Or: The Very Soft and Cute Beginnings of Hantoni Porowski-Styles

i literally??? could not??? have done this without paloma @kissyharriex she’s the best and came to my rescue when i was being a big baby about this. also y’all know i post like zero (0) writing on here so uhhh enjoy and if you hate it then lie to me and say you love it ok thanks!

It’s like when you come home from a long trip. The smells are familiar, and you know where every light switch is, even in the dark. Your shoulders automatically slump in relief, and you feel the floating warmth of comfort wash over you.

That’s what it felt like the first time Harry saw him.

It was in a bright bar with arcade games and a 90s karaoke machine in the corner. Harry felt like he was back at university in London when he was forced out to grody pubs with uncomfortable seating and cheap liquor. Nevertheless, he wasn’t one to turn down an open bar or the opportunity to toy with a few men who either knew who he was or wished they knew.

He was always being invited to these sorts of things. Owners and promoters figured it was free press to have people like Harry at their events. He was the prince of Williamsburg, a trust fund baby who made a career out of fortnight romances and weekend getaways across the world. Everyone knew who he was, and he knew everyone.

Except for one person.

Harry’s brain short circuited when he glanced at the door that had opened to let a chill air into the room. A man with deep, tender eyes and a nervous mouth stood in front of the entrance. And before Harry even knew his name, he already knew what he wanted from him.

Harry was brave. He never shied away from a challenge or raised a white flag in the face of defeat. All his conquests had been a result of Harry’s charm and determination.

He came, he saw, and he conquered. That’s just what it was like for him.

He took a sip of his drink and brushed the man’s shoulder with his own. He turned, looking at Harry with those deep brown eyes of his, a little too warm and inviting for Harry’s liking. He just smirked while sliding up to the barstool next to him. He pretended to pay no attention, chatting to some of the other guests around him, causally sneaking a glance to the other side to see if he was looking.

“I’m Antoni,”

The man had said while sticking his hand out for Harry to shake. Harry glanced at him, raising his eyebrow.

“Harry,” he said, holding out his hand as well, but barely lasting for a proper shake. He quickly returned back to his conversation with some self proclaimed influencer from Los Angeles.

Soon enough, there was no one, so Harry turned back towards the man, Antoni, and asked the bartender for another drink.

“Do you reckon I can pull this off?” He asked, tugging at the bright red turtleneck he had worn.

Antoni just replied with a “sure,” so Harry sighed loudly and said, “It’s the color of my aura.” Not for anyone in particular to hear really, just whoever cared enough to listen.

He leaned in, closing the distance between himself and Antoni’s stool.

“I believe that,” Antoni replied, taking his drink, and walking away to talk to what seemed like an old friend.

It turned out Antoni was well-known among the invitees of this bar opening. The owner was Antoni’s former classmate in Montreal.

Harry, typically the life of the party within most scenes in Brooklyn, pouted his way through four vodka Sprites before scanning the room to find Antoni again. He made a path in his brain before sliding off the stool and sauntering over to the other side of the small bar, wriggling his way into the tiny circle of people crowded around the karaoke machine.

“Excuse me, I’ve got something very important to do,” Harry said, to no one in particular again, but completely meaning for Antoni to hear. He turned around to face the rest of the people in the bar, refraining from making eye contact with anyone but the man in front of him. Maybe it was his earnest gaze or the way he looked at Harry like he wasn’t afraid of him. Whatever it was, Harry knew that he’d do anything to be on the receiving end of Antoni’s affections.

Harry crouched down to click through the songs before he found the one he was hoping for. The song that never failed to get him laid. His conquests were putty in his hands when he slinked around them, the charisma vibrating off of him too infectious for them to resist.

The synth music and empty bits where Whitney Houston’s riffs usually went played through the speakers and Harry shook off what little nerves he had before taking a sultry stance and following the words to “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” all while trying his damndest to make his dreamiest bedroom eyes at Antoni.

Antoni’s notice was genuine but minimal, even when Harry hammed it up and began grabbing other men from the crowd to participate in his one man show.

“Hey, you,” he called, breathless, after the end of his performance. Antoni looked away from the person he was talking to and raised his eyebrows at Harry with inquiry.

“Could you be a doll and get me another drink?” Harry asked, grabbing Antoni’s wrist gently.

“What are you drinking?”

“Whatever you want me to drink,” he replied, winking and turning around to choose another song.

Antoni came back with some dark concoction that Harry was determined to drink because not only would it get him drunk, it would also show Antoni he was agreeable and easygoing. He choked down the first one fast before batting his eyelashes and asking for another. He didn’t dare ask what was in it, but rather could only focus on how the drink was catching up with him. His head was spinning, and normally this was when he would start to feel extra courageous and boldly make his move. But his stomach churned in the bad way.

Antoni had disappeared, and Harry was stood against a wall, nervously scrolling through his phone. It was a weird sensation, not having an entourage or acquaintance to fall into. Why had he come in the first place? It certainly had never bothered him before to go to places alone. Why was he bothered now? Regardless, he was flustered to no end that he was pulling out all the stops for Antoni and it wasn’t working.

Moving in all sorts of contortions while taking a seat again at the bar, his face melted into his palm.

“Hello!” He called over to one of the bartenders, rather loudly. “Hello. Hi. Got a question for you. Could you perhaps tell me what’s in this? My...friend brought it to me.”

The bartender eyed him warily. “It’s a long island iced tea...would you like some water?”

Harry sighed, burying his face in his hands. “No thanks,” he slurred.

“What do you think about this shirt, mate?” He stared down at his red turtleneck, frowning at the bits of liquid that had fallen onto it from previous drinks. “Can I pull it off?”

The bartender snickered at his question, and Harry furrowed his face. “Oi!” He started, his index finger raised in protest. The sudden movement caused his ears to start ringing and his vision to blur a bit.

“I don’t…” he started before he climbed off the stool and ran towards the front door, turning a sharp corner once he was out, to a small, dark alley. He ignored the group of people next to him, barely caring that the next time he was out and about, someone would incessantly tease him about throwing up at some random bar opening.

He hadn’t thrown up like that since uni, and on top of it all, it just had to be when he was wearing that goddamned red turtleneck. He quite liked it, thought it was a bit of a bold statement piece.

He shut his eyes, once he thought was s done spilling his guts, and slid down the brick wall, feeling like he wanted to cry a bit.

He heard an oddly familiar voice, getting closer to him and he didn’t really want to open his eyes because he knew that once he did, there’s no way that he would ever look at him in the eyes again.

He tried to ignore it, but he knew he had that gorgeous man standing in front of him, asking him if he was okay. And frankly he wasn’t, but he couldn’t help but blink them open.

“Want some water?” Antoni asked, handing him a bottle and looking at him like he had just witnessed a puppy being kicked.

Sipping the water made Harry’s stomach feel all icky again and in no time, he was throwing up again, this time on Antoni’s leather shoes.

In that moment, he wished the cracked pavement he was sitting on would open up and swallow him.

“Fuck. I’m so sorry,” Harry said, immediately trying to stand up all frantic and not knowing what to do.  

“It’s okay,” Antoni waved his hands in objection. Harry recognized the look on his face - polite aversion.

“Let me go get a rag or something to clean them with. Do you want to wear mine? Shit, I’m sorry. What shoe size-”

“Harry,” Antoni put his hands on his shoulders to steady him. “Calm down. You’re gonna make yourself sick all over again.”

“But you can’t just walk around with vom all over your shoes.”

“They’ll be okay,” He said in a hushed voice. He slid down the wall, just as Harry had earlier and sat next to him.

“I’m mortified,” Harry whispered.

“If I had a dollar for every time I threw up outside of a bar I’d be a millionaire.”

“I bet you haven’t thrown up on the shoes of someone you’ve been trying to flirt with the whole night,” Harry sighed with a sad laugh hidden in the back of his throat.

They made eye contact for a millisecond, and the look in Antoni’s eyes confirmed everything he had been thinking about all night. Antoni wasn’t going to be a quick shag or a two-week lover’s parade around the city. Harry couldn’t pinpoint what it was about him, but the thought alone was terrifying.

“God,” Harry changed the subject, “who would’ve thought that a fucking Long Island iced tea could’ve killed me?”

Antoni laughed and looked down at his lap, “It just so happens that I’ve got the perfect remedy for too many of those,” he grinned.

“Do you now?” Harry raised his eyebrows at him.

“I do actually,” He started, “I could show you if you’d like, I only live a couple of blocks away from here.”

“How can I be sure you’re not going to kill me and stuff me in a dumpster?” Harry asked, only half-joking. This was too good to be real.

“Google me,” Antoni replied. “You’ll find too much about me to know I’m not a murderer.”

Harry pulled out his phone and did a quick search to find his Instagram, with 2.5 million followers, and a well-populated Wikipedia article.

“Self-assured, are we?” Harry asked, looking up from the screen to see Antoni staring at him eagerly.

A part of Harry wanted to say that he couldn’t -- the embarrassment alone had bruised his ego too deeply. But this is what he had been trying to do all night, right? Get Antoni to be all his?

So he nodded and smiled, taking the hand Antoni offered to get up. “As long as I don’t end up in a bin somewhere,” he murmured in jest.

They ended up in an uber -- Harry’s head was pounding and he didn’t think he’d survive a walk to Antoni’s apartment in his “sensitive condition” as he put it. Harry had experienced his share of awkward cab rides, but he was so nervous he swore Antoni could hear his heart thumping from across the seat.

“I’m really sorry about your shoes,” he started.

“Harry - please stop apologizing.”

“Sor-” he started, but stopped himself. Antoni just smiled and shook his head.

They made it to Antoni’s apartment without much talking, just Antoni commenting on what a shame getting puke on that red turtle neck was. “It’s quite the statement piece,” he told Harry. It was all Harry could do not to puke all over again, but not from the liquor.

Antoni’s place was as airy as a small New York City apartment could be -- plants nestled in the corners and vintage French posters on the walls. Harry scanned the den and his eyes landed on a small bookshelf lined with vinyl records. Harry’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets when he saw the pieces in the collection.

“Are you joking?” Harry gawked.

Antoni explained to him that most of the collection had been given to him by his grandfather, who brought them with him after migrating from Poland.  

“I didn’t even know half these albums came in vinyl,” he ran his fingers through them, stopping at an Amy Winehouse record that was frayed at the edges and looked like it was constantly played. “May I?”

“Of course. Great choice,” Antoni said from behind him, already with a kitchen towel on his shoulder.

Harry just hummed to that and shut his eyes for the first few spins before turning around and sitting on a stool facing Antoni.

He wasn’t wearing his leather jacket anymore and the thin material of his shirt showed off his back muscles, which Harry had a difficult time ignoring as he moved swiftly around his kitchen.

Harry watched over the island, trying to reconcile the night in his mind. He had messily tried to get with a really hot guy, to seemingly no avail, which rarely ever happened. Then he got wasted and as a result, threw up on said hot guy but somehow still ended up at his place. He knew the formula, but the pieces weren’t fitting together quite right.

The smells began to float around the room and after a few moments, Antoni was plating the most delicate grilled cheese and sliding it in front of him. “Muenster and gouda. Mayo instead of butter. A little bit of garlic powder,” Antoni explained simply before placing a cloth napkin and a bottle of coconut water in front of him as well.

“Wow...five star service here,” Harry chuckled. Maybe he should barf on guys more often.

Antoni shrugged sheepishly in response, then leaned on the island

“Harry…if you knew the drink I gave you would make you sick, why did you drink it?”

“To be polite,” Harry replied after a small silence.

“Why?” Antoni asked, confused and slightly skeptical. Harry was nice, but he didn’t seem like the type to go out of his way to please a stranger.

“Because I wanted you to think I was down for anything,” He said after taking a bite, “which I still am, by the way! I just need to maybe pace myself next time you give me a drink with five different liquors in it.”

“You can stick to your Vodka Sprite next time.”

“How did you know I was drinking Vodka Sprite?”

“Smelled it on your breath when you were practically pissing on me to mark your territory,” Antoni said, looking down at the counter and pretending to clean a spot with his dish towel.

Harry’s jaw dropped, he didn’t expect that at all. Antoni just came closer, and there was no longer a kitchen island to separate them.

“I...no comment,” Harry said finally.

“I thought you’d be one to dish it back,” Antoni replied.

“Wasn’t expecting you to call me out on my antics.”

“Wasn’t expecting you to be so obvious.”

“Shh,” Harry pouted. “Let me finish my toastie.”

“You mean you’re not going to share?”

“Oh, did you want some?” Harry offered it to him.

Antoni leaned into Harry’s hand where the half-eaten grilled cheese was. He stared up and Harry and gingerly took a bite of the sandwich.

Harry willed his skin not to blush from Antoni’s proximity. Instead, he took a drink of the coconut water and tried to focus on keeping his breath steady. He wasn’t used to being this speechless. Usually you couldn’t stop him from mewling sweet words into people’s ears as he worked to wrap them around his finger. But he couldn’t utter a sound.

So Antoni beat him to it.

“You’re cute, you know?”

#hantoni #writing #posting my own fic feels a lot like being thrown off a bridge #BYE