#I’m using gay as an umbrella term btw

[dumbass-duo-showdown]

Okay let me present my reasoning

A love triangle has 3 people, but usually it’s person A having a crush on person B and then maybe person C had a crush on person A or vice versa. However it doesn’t connect person C to B, they’re more like rivals to a singular person. But because theres a no romantic chemistry, it’s more of a love cone.

But if person B had a crush on person C. Now the line would’ve been connected to each other. However that would also mean for love triangle to properly work, one person needs to be you know, not straight.

#yes I read the iron widow and I won’t shut up about it #I’m using gay as an umbrella term btw #books #bookblr #not a battle poll #not dds related #polls #love triangle

[ruinpowder]

gay people are always being asked to tolerate the most heinous shit from people just because they don’t personally want to kill us like christians will be like “i think your lifestyle is disgusting and youre a deplorable pervert but god says to love everyone so i will tolerate your existence :)” and we’re supposed to think that’s a good thing because at least they don’t want us dead

#this goes for trans people even more so btw i’m using gay as an umbrella term here #bc 99% of the time trans people have to experience being misgendered bc someone ~doesnt support their lifestyle but loves them anyway ❤️~ #anyway i think we should start killing people who do this. js #helen's musings #dnt rb

[tenok]

Still fuming about «Crowley’s so queer it makes Aziraphale looks straight» take. I saw some people saying «queer is not a political identity» as an argument against it... and actually I disagree. Queer is an identity that’s as much about politics and community as is about gender and orientation. «Queer as in fuck you» indeed! And while I’m pretty sure that if you’ll ask Aziraphale he will say that he’s queer because mentally he still in times where it was term preferred by community as whole (or he’ll say that «gay» is his gender because he still links gender and orientation together and it’s a habit thats hard to break), I’ll argue that he’s definitely queer by definition. And I won’t say that one of them more or less queer, I want to vomit just from thinking this, but he and Crowley definitely different flavors of queer; and the point is community.

See, the Crowley we see is not the very community-oriented being. He despises angels and demons alike, he’s not close with humans, through whole series we saw him connected with Aziraphale, maybe Warlock, Shadwell to some point and only as a subordinate he’s not really interested in (Aziraphale actually remembered all the names of soldiers Shadwell pulled from his ass, on the other hand [book, also in script if I remember correctly]). But for Aziraphale community is the whole deal. He links himself to communities: community of book collectors, for example ([in book at least]), community of angels (even in season two he regretfully said that he misses reporting back to his lot), as soon as he put his roots there he become part of British and specifically London community (immediately clocked as British by everyone, for better or for worse). And he’s clearly consider himself and considered by others as part of queer community. For example:

He’s clocked as specifically effeminate gay man (which is part of queer umbrella oh my god stop misuse of political slogans gay are not some kind of others that are lesser for being gay!!!) by everyone, to the point of getting called homophobic slurs (twice in book, once in series) and being targeted by literal Nazis. He’s not arguing or denying, he reclaims it: he’s not calling himself gay, he’s proudly declaring that he’s THE southern pansy (not very «hurray establishment» of him hmmm?). He looks so gay and safe that cemetery man from season 2 doesn’t see a problem in telling him he uses grindr!

Tied to this: he can present as anyone else, he chooses to look soft, gay, effeminate, he chooses to make silly sounds and flamboyant gestures, and as soon as he gets comfortable he likes to go a little campy (can you imagine Crowley in ribbons and frills? do we see male-presenting Crowley in pink silky shoes? would he fight to the death before you put him into pencil-drawen moustache and bright cape with shiny starts? yes he’s GNC! there’s more then one way to be GNC and one is not better then other because it’s in black and sexy!). I’ll argue that him choosing one comfortable presentation and stick to this is no less groundbreaking by heavens standards then «hoarding all the genders» since he’s not treats his corporation as «meat suite», he really had an identity tied to it!

And using this identity he becomes part of 100 guineas club. Part of gay/queer (it was in times where this distinction was meaningless) community with fellow queers, where he learned queer ways, such as dances, becoming part of queer culture as a whole (and should I remind you that back in days drag was mandatory part of such clubs? if we measuring queerness by how close it to cross-dressing apparently). He also collects literature by queer authors, immersing himself in this culture, again. Do I remember correctly that Oscar Wilde gifted him one of his books specifically? So we can safely assume he hangs with queer authors as well? Correct me if it’s not in canon (I’m freely mixing tv and book canon there btw although usually I treat them as two different things)

He also lives in Soho. He specifically chooses to live there, knowing perfectly well what a neighborhood it is (even back in 1600s it already had a Reputation). He knows what it says about him and he aims for it! (Crowley lives in Mayfair because it says something about him too — remember that while Aziraphale constructed himself around being soft and gay, Crowley intentionally made himself look as irrating rich asshole. If this asshole has vibes of sinister gay that would gladly corrupt you if you ask nicely, that’s another story) He is a part of this community! As a word of god, he: speaks Polari freely because he used it… with other queers (as oppose to Crowley that knows «bits» because he hangs out with criminals); he hide incriminating things from fellow Soho residents back when there were police raids (breaking law to help those in need is reacurring theme with him!). He still part of this community, he knows people, people knows him, he literally gives place to lesbian women for free so she can have her dream shop (supporting your local queer business!) (also great call back to Edingurg minisode! Aziraphale, personal saint of broke lesbians!)

I’ll also argue that letting in first Gabriel and next Muriel was a very queer of him. Queers help other queers: he may not like Gabriel, but «he has no other friends» (and he's homeless after being kicked out from heavens after disaster forbidden love affair with other queer being, hmmm? paralleles with reality of being queer much?), so he steps in. And Muriel, while being the same age as those two (we're NOT child-coding Muriel in this house), vibes as queer youth in needs of guidance, and Aziraphale, that had every right to be suspicious and cold to them, immediately lets them into safety of his shop and tries to be nice and supporting in both older queer and older ND cousin way.

So, in conclusion: Aziraphale is a queer being, that likes to make it clear that he’s queer and queer GNC man specifically; he’s part of queer community for at least couple hundred of years, participant in queer culture, and he watches out for other queers, helping his own as much as he can, using his money and other resources and breaking law to do so when needed. What there can make him look straight even as a joke?

Crowley is absolutely a queer being too, in very queer love with other queer being, and I'm sure he has a blast pocking into rules and boundaries of genders, orientations and all kinds of relationships since he loves questioning and testing so much. He also has a cool rebellious aesthetic and «fuck all» attitude, so it’s understandable that he becomes tumblrs queer icon (and being played by David Tennant helps for sure). But if you ask them both where’s local shelter for homeless queers located, one of them will have an answer and it won’t be a Crowley, or he wouldn’t sleep in his car (I'm joking), and this is as much of the part of being queer as having cool aesthetic or being kicked from home (I'm joking again). And it's a shame that some people want to make a competention out of it, because it gives us infinity possibilities to discuss their different experiences and choices, down to what their respective aesthetic choices says about them, and how they can use their strong sides to support each other! But alas.

#good omens #aziraphale defense squad #bad takes that won't let me sleep at night #makes Aziraphale look straight my ass #that's a nice post! bitchy one will stay in my head! #btw I wouldn't spend my time at it if person that wrote that take made a honest mistake trying to joke but apparently it's not their first #bad take so while I don't want to pick a fight I want to at least rant

[splatoonpolls]

AHEM

WE ARE HOLDING A SPLATOON GAY BATTLE! HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED AT A SPLATOON CHARACTER AND WENT “THEY ARE REALLY GAY!” WELL NOW ITS YOUR TIME TO SHOW IT!

BY FILLING OUT THIS FORM

MAY THE GAYEST SPLATOON CHARACTER WIN!!!!!

#splatoon polls #splatoon #splatoon 3 #polls #splatoon 2 #splatbands #splatoon idols #pearlina #deep cut splatoon #squid sisters #splatoon gay battle

[rainbownixie]

(U do not need to answer this question AT ALL and I’m so sorry if it makes u uncomfortable in any way) but I was just wondering; how did you know you were aroace? Recently I’ve been struggling with whether or not the term applies to me. Online tests are super confusing and they don’t rlly help 💀 tysm and again PLEASE do not feel forced to answer this at all :) <33

it doesn't make me uncomfortable in ANY way!!! don't worry <33 i love helping people with this stuff, especially since aroaces don't have as much information out there as other types of attraction!!

it's funny but i actually realized thanks to an awesome book called "loveless". it's written by alice oseman (yeah, same as heartstopper. so you already know it's good) and it literally changed my whole perspective on the term and myself!

basically, thanks to reading this i realized that i don't feel sexual attraction for anyone! at first i thought i was bisexual, because 0x0=0 right? i felt the same for everyone so i genuinely thought i was bi! but turns out i just... didn't feel anything sexual towards anyone.

and it was a rough thing to accept for me, because i am a person with a high libido and i've always been interested in sex. but those things have nothing to do with being asexual! everyone talks about that label as if it meant not wanting to have sex or not feeling any libido at all, but not everyone is sex repulsed and some of us get horny for other stuff that isn't bodies!

tbh i also realized that i don't want to have sex, i was just highly influenced by society and what it meant to be hot and be liked by other people. so ummm yeah, it was hard for me to relate to posts about asexuality when everyone talked about it in such a reduced way and i was pretty obsessed with being liked by others in a sexual way.

plus, i've always liked reading smut and stuff like that and nobody tells you!!! that it doesn't have anything to do with being asexual!!! you can like sexual content and be sexual with people without feeling sexual attraction towards them!!! i wished somebody had told me that sooner, that way i wouldn't have needed a book to tell me.

i realized i was aromantic (greyromantic, actually, but it's inside the umbrella term) because all my relationships always ended in the same way. i thought i liked someone romantically, and the very same moment we started dating i got the ick. everything they did disgusted me and everything related to romanticism within the relationship scared me. so i always pushed them away or waited for them to break up with me. and let me tell you: it's really fucked up.

because i used to think there was something wrong with me. that i was broken. that i was a horrible person and i didn't know how to love. so i desperately entered relationships that only lasted like less than two months looking for something that made me feel... complete? but that doesn't exist! if you love someone romantically you don't self sabotage the relationship that way. i did it because i wasn't truly in love with them and i confused friendship with love CONSTANTLY. that made me hurt some people i genuinely cared about. normativity is a bitch.

everyone tells you how to love. tv shows, movies, books, society... but no one tells you that maybe you just... don't? and there's nothing wrong with that!! you can be complete without feeling romantic or sexual attraction, really. you just have to be yourself and live your life. there's so so many ways to love people, don't ever get stuck thinking romance is the only one.

when you are straight, lesbian, gay etc etc you KNOW how to love. your label tells you how to do it. but when i realized i was aroace? i felt so damn lonely. i still do, sometimes. and i have a girlfriend (we're both greyro, btw, it's practically a qpr but there's also love involved- it doesn't read matter now)!! because when you are aroace, you just... don't do anything. you just live your life as it already is. and i promise you that it's so so so much cooler when you accept that you only need yourself and other types of love to be happy!!

i still struggle with a bit of internalized aroacephobia, but i've never felt so free and comfortable with myself.

if you are interested in the book i think you can find it on amazon, but if you don't want to spend money i have a pdf i can send you!

i hope this helped you somehow, anon <3 if you have more questions please let me know!!!

#loveless my beloved #it's by far my favorite book EVER #you should see it it's full of notes and post-its pffft #aroace #aromantic #asexual

[boyfriendsmalec]

Everyone in Cherry Magic is gay except for Urabe

#cherry magic #cherry magic spoilers #not really spoilers but like... #obv we got Kurosawa and Adachi and Tsuge and Minato #then we have Fujisaki our aro/ace queen #Rokkaku def is gay too #I’m using gay as an umbrella term btw #like they could be bi/pan/queer whichever

[ashleyeveerson]

Idk if it’s a personal thing or not, but lately i’ve grown picky-er with lgbtq rep?

Like I remember being a teenanger and FREAKING OUT at the slightest hint of queerness. Just a mention of the creator in an interview, a hint that two characters “might” be a couple…

God, I was letting myself be queerbaited over and over again. I still remember reading my first openly queer book about two girls falling in love and crying over seeing my feelings reflected in an ACTUAL FISICAL book. It was prof that gay people did exist outside of the little bubble that was the internet. And it was awful rep, like both girls die in the end, it was highly sexualised (they were teens) and their relationship was toxic… and still I ate it up.

Not because it was good, but because it was something. And I do hope that none of the young people who are just now figuring out their sexuality have to experience that feeling. But for those of us who have been here for a while we know what it feels to gasp at ANYTHING in hopes of seeing yourself reflected in media.

So now that I have experienced EXCELLENT queer media like Heartstopper, Cerulean Sea, Our Flag Means Death or The Owl House. I find it SOOOO hard to go back to that kind of media I used to eat up when I was younger.

Younger me would have flipped her shit out just by being able to read a book with an openly queer relationship… but present me can only stare at it’s pages and think: *I deserve to read something better, bc I know that something better that this CAN exist and DOES exist*

#i’m venting a bit but I had to get this out of my chest #do other people feel like this or is it just me? #maybe it’s because we have MORE media so we have the luxury of being more critical in regards to queer rep? #i’m using queer and gay as umbrella terms btw #vent #queer #gay #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbt rep #the owl house #our flag means death #house of the cerulean sea

[evensquirrellier]

The way this ad was under an AmazingPhil video is absolutely sending me. Like, if you’re watching Phil’s videos, you don’t really need the quiz, you’re just gay.

#amazingphil #phil lester #dan and phil #dnp #phandom #gay #i’m using gay as an umbrella term for queer btw

[theladypeace]

if you, my dear friend, are following me

hate to break it to ya

but uhhhh

that’s gay

#yeah #yep #this is the post #take it #idk ok leave me alone #anyway you’re most definitely not straight if you’re following me. but you probs knew that. you gay gremlin. #((I’m using gay as an umbrella term btw))

[amnestyaubrey]

bev kissing teran on the mouth then misty stepping away vs fig kissing ayda then skateboarding away, we love chaotic baby gays

#I’m using gay as an umbrella term btw ik fig is bi i am also bi (probably) #naddpod #dimension 20 #fantasy high #issa listens to naddpod

[got-coochie]

If someone doesn’t tell me what the FUCK pansexual means I’m gonna keep on assuming it’s the word to describe the girls who will use an lgbt label to be different than the other girlies, call herself gay in front of a group of guys when she already fucked half of them, use me for sex and then 100% of the time leave me for a man. Get that shit away from me woman, I’m convinced that the pansexual label is one giant fucking red flag

#I’m bitter I know #this shit happens to me all the time though #I’ve been around the block enough times to know that pan is one step up from confused #don’t tell anyone but I call them spicy-straight #mean-posting #btw I shouldn’t have to try 110% harder to keep someone just because we’re a same sex couple #especially when she’s used to mediocre men doing shit-all for her #just go date him and stop calling yourself gay it’s not a fucking umbrella term for straight girl in an experimental phase

[merlinoutofcontext]

wait so why do you think merlin isn’t queerbaiting? this isn’t meant to be rude im just curious

hey! happy to answer, and i didn’t perceive your question as rude at all btw. here are my thoughts, i’m sorry they’re so long but i also don’t think this is a topic that can be summarized in a few sentences, so...

i don’t really know how else to say that it isn’t queerbaiting by just stating that it isn’t. there is very little evidence in the actual show to even claim that the show was at any point queerbaiting. but to be fair, i also think it’s important to note the term “queerbaiting” doesn’t even have an “official” definition so it can mean very different things to different people. this is the definition that i am working with.

“When an author/director/etc. gives hints, and clever twists to paint a character as possibly being queer, to satisfy queer audiences, but never outright says they are so they can keep their heterosexual audience.”

bbc merlin is a family show. and i don’t mean “family show” in the way that it is usually insinuated - as in it’s supposed to be “clean” and “nice” and “appealing” to a family audience, so therefore any queercoded message is bad and not appropriate. what i mean is that it’s a tv show that was expected to be approachable by families of all ages, at any point throughout the series, so that they can understand what’s happening. whether or not you watched the episode that aired the previous week has absolutely no bearing on the next episode. merlin only started having multi-episode arcs in series 3. and it’s this reason why i think so many ppl are dissatisfied with the show, bc it wasn’t meant to be this deep narrative. they didn't have enough time to write in full fledged storylines. but i digress.

i’m going to be using other tumblr obsessed tv show and ship as examples here. 

i will admit that my original post was sparked by some of the stuff surrounding supernatural that’s happened, but i’m not really going to speak to it much. i do think the internet may have went a bit overboard, and i don’t want to sit here and claim spn was queerbaiting its audience because i actually do think thats kind of a subjective thing. but in my opinion, the fact that they waited until their final season, and what appears to be a characters last episode, to make the ship that has been a large driving force of their remaining audience for the past 12 years, canon, does sit a little weird with me. anyway.

lets use another ship as an example that is literally, unequivocally queerbaiting. i don’t care about your opinion here, this show queerbaited the hell out of its audience for 7 literal years. johnlock.

multiple times throughout the show the relationship between john and sherlock is hinted at through the language of the show, by characters in the show, etc. more often than not, the concept of a relationship between them is framed as a joke. additionally, bbc’s sherlock kept the sexuality of their main character (coincidentally the titular character) ambiguous, while also managing to make fun of their audience of shippers for even thinking that johnlock could be a possibility. 

never once in bbc’s merlin is the concept of arthur and merlin being close to one another, or connected by fate/destiny/magic (which is often seen as being coded for sexuality) as a bad thing. not in the text of the show, not by the creators of the show, not by the actors in the show. in fact, even in the last episode, merlin’s devotion to arthur is only ever framed as a positive:

“Some men are born to plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings. Me, I was born to serve you Arthur and I’m proud of that. And I wouldn’t change a thing.”

similarly, sometime after this arthur tells merlin to never change. in my opinion, a distinct aspect of a queerbaiting show is when the show places hints in the language used by the characters to say that a character might a) be queer in some way or b) have a relationship with someone of the same gender as them. but then when the fandom talks about this towards the actors, or the creators of the show, it’s immediately pushed away by creators and seen as a negative thing. or it’s completely ridiculous that the fandom would even think of such at thing.

people will argue that merlin’s devotion to arthur, and their relationship in general is what makes it queerbaiting. that by the sheer existence of some longwinded eye contact, or statements of friendship and devotion to each other that the show was queerbaiting its audience. but the difference is that merlin’s devotion to arthur and subsequently arthur’s devotion to merlin was never framed as a joke for the audience, or as a negative thing. it was written as something we are supposed to celebrate about merlin.

this show was never written with the intention for merlin and arthur to be together. it’s a retelling of arthurian myth with a bit of a twist in it. merlin and arthur are meant to be the main characters, but a romantic relationship was never on the table. 

characters do remark on merlin’s loyalty to arthur, but it’s always in a questioning way, a why is this man so loyal to the king? what is the big reason? and, yeah, the Big Reason is his magic and their shared destiny. and yes it’s a valid interpretation that magic/destiny = sexuality, and merlin = gay (used as an umbrella term here). but that doesn’t mean it’s queerbaiting. it’s just subtext.

and subtext =/= queerbaiting.

#answered #long post

[splatoonpolls]

awesome king salmonid post but unfortunately they are both women and butch and lesbians. is this poll about them pre transition

First I’m using gay as like an umbrella term. And yes cohozuna is a butch lesbian, if you disagree argue with the wall. But horrorboros oh god

when drawing horrorboros I just had a pathetic twink in mind (imagine a musty mixture between Rohan kishibe, a snake, and a smelly cybergoth merman). Someone just added a comment going “should’ve added the king salmonid.” To the gay splatoon character battle form. So I made the poll and now it has lead me to drawing horrorboros in a babygirl pose.

THAT IS WHAT MY MUTUAL SAID BTW

Also yeah a WIP of me doing the line Art btw.

#splatoonpolls ask box

[kimyoonmiauthor]

PSA to my fellow Aces out there.

I generally hate PSAs, but I’ve been seeing some behavior I need to call my fellow aces out on. I’m saying this in the hopes that there is education, uplift, and more unity, rather than accidentally hating on other aces and other groups.

Quick note about vocab used:

Yes, I know, ace umbrella exists, but as a gray-a I don’t like the idea that we’re getting rained on and there is no range within and no diversity within. I don’t begrudge others who use ace umbrella, but I just like the term ace spec more and even went out of my way to argue for it waaayyy back in 2008-ish. I’m using that terminology here. I don’t like the idea I’m getting half sun burnt or rained on, making those “fully under the umbrella” more “legitimate”. Since this terminology came from Asexuality.org, I have even stronger objections to my *personally* using it. Ace spec is also shorter and gets past half the problems they started with the whole founders of asexuality.org trying zed passing while complaining about straight passing problems from the larger queer community. 

Other things in the queer community are called spectrums too. Like intersex, pansexuality and bisexuality and trans communities talk about spectrums as well. Other social justice groups, like neurodiversity talk about spectrums. Spectrums are also slightly more threatening to the fear of straight passing people, so honestly, it pleases me on that level too.

I don’t begrudge the ace umbrella terminology wider used, but I think we can do better.

The asexuality definition needs an upgrade. Asexuality.org fought me on this, but seriously, what happened to the other aces?

The definition of asexuality should be: No, limited or conditional sexual attraction.

Asexuality.org said that was too complicated and the poor zedsexuals wouldn’t understand it. It’s more like they want to prop up no sexual attraction as the “correct” asexuality. And from my classes, that’s the additive model in action. It’s not doctor, it’s lady doctor. It’s not nurse, it’s male nurse. It’s not astronaut, it’s lady astronaut. It’s not pilot, it’s black pilot. It’s Asian artist, not artist. BTW, asexuality.org used to define those who felt no sexual attraction at all as asexual asexual. They dropped it. I think given the uneven labeling and confusion, we need a better term for those who feel absolutely no sexual attraction. I don’t believe in defaults in the human species. And that’s my biggest gripe with asexuality.org. They are setting a default that shouldn’t exist. (Also the racism and transphobia, but you know how I am--I have my eyes on the big shiny prize of eliminating all discrimination because it serves all my marginalizations.)

Demisexual is not separate from asexuality.

I’ve seen some ace of spades claim that demisexuality is not part of the ace community. And likewise, demisexuals claim they aren’t part of the ace community. It’s all in the spectrum.

In fact, demisexual belongs on the gray-ace part of the scale. You can be more than one type of gray ace. It’s the square is a rectangle and also a parallelogram. Demisexual is also gray-ace and also ace spec.

You definitely can have more than one gray-ace as part of the scale. So you could be demisexual and Apothisexual. And you can be on a scale. So knowing demisexuality can be *with* other microlabels of asexuality and gray asexuality helps identity navigation. This is why I’m saying don’t take larger labels away.

Not all aces are automatically aro spec.

And likewise, not all aro spec are ace. And we should also respect that.

Yes, you can have more than one type of sexual attraction.

Julie Sondra Decker said that there are two types of sexual attraction: Primary, which is missing for aces. And secondary, which isn’t missing for all aces. Secondary is usually the Lesbian, gay, pan, bi, etc.

However, there are also split attraction models which include aces in the gray-a, where they might feel primary attraction, but then lose it.

There are also people who are sexually attracted to a particular gender or set of genders, but have a different romantic or secondary sexual attraction.

Let it be messy. Sexuality, in general, is messy.

It’s OK to speak your truth, but don’t detract from the rest of the LGBTQIA spectrum (This goes for the rest of the LGBTQIA spectrum as well)

Transphobes need to go. Spank them within the community.

There are more A’s than Aces. Don’t hog the letter and no, I’m not talking allies.

Aros exist. You can acknowledge their existence without speaking for them. They are more invisible than aces. I’m both, BTW.

Agender people also exist. They also get erased within the trans community, so a quick acknowledgement to ask to fight together for the A won’t go amiss.

Don’t make the A all about aces in social justice spaces. Once you try to claim the A, that’s a social justice action and you should be fighting for all three groups, not just yourself. If you want to lick your wounds, that’s separate from requesting the A be included.

And my last frustration: I get it, the white cis males are super focused on asexuality as a marginalization. 

That doesn’t mean you can’t also make room for intersectionality. When PoC aces tell you that racism is worse than that, maybe listen and try to understand why and how it interacts for us. I understand the victim mentality very, very, very well. I mean the list of traumas would make you insta say “I wouldn’t be able to put up with that” (which is what most people tell me anyway because I tend to be more marginalized than them such that they accuse me of being a catfish). But when you hyper focus and reply to things like social justice posts with victim mentality and LGBTQIA days which are about celebration, it really does sound like centering on yourself.

Yes, yes, aces, as an ace, do need visibility, but keep in mind aromantics aren’t really talked about and in media people automatically think asexuality and aromanticism are tied, which diminishes aromantics. And no one ever talks about agender that much under the A letter. 

A tip for the white male cis aces out there... you would write, “I am not aro and not agender, but I am ace and would like the A to be included. I cannot speak for the other two groups, but I hope they would join me in this desire. I recognize they are more invisible than us.” Then you can launch into specific marginalization and why you think you should be included and fear of straight-passing in the community.

Conclusion:

This isn’t a case of all aces are like this. But an eye on what we can do as aces to improve our social justice as we move forwards. To be more inclusive, welcoming and also keep ourselves on the path of better and less prejudiced inclusion.

You can talk about your marginalization without slamming the door in the face of another marginalization and especially marginalization of your own group. You might not have gotten over your marginalization or trauma yet. That’s fine. You can take your travels through healing the trauma as you see fit. BUT You say “I want representation,” but then slam the door in the face of someone else more marginalized than you--who has less representation and claim someone asking you to acknowledge that makes them asking for “ally” you’re just being an asshole at that point.

Intersectionality exists. You want to prop up your community, don’t do it at the cost of your own community. Recognize the diversity within, once you’ve licked your wounds, and while you’re licking your wounds, be careful how and where you share. Make sure it is in safe places, out of social justice spaces. Because as I’ve argued before, victimhood and social justice don’t mix that well. You need to at least get up to survivor. If you want someone to coddle your feelings *only*, don’t do it in spaces where they are asking for change.

#asexuality #asexual #social justice

[whoa-its-dani]

I have a lot of thoughts about being nonbinary so I’m going to cram them all into one post best I can; under the cut. This isn’t an invitation to discourse, btw.

CW for lots of swearing and opinions you probably won’t agree with.

I wish there were a way to be nonbinary without associating with the community or someone else associating you with it. A trans man or trans woman can go stealth, but there’s really not a way for a nonbinary person to do that, and it’s super stressful. (And before any dumbass tries to start something: NO that ISN’T a privilege, fuck off)

I have MANY differing POVs about nonbinarism that clash with the community’s preexisting shit and it kinda sucks. I mean, a community is supposed to make you feel welcome and not alone, while I feel completely disconnected and too different to comfortably be a part of it.

I don’t want to be seen as quirky because I’m nonbinary! I don’t want to be seen as cool because I’m nonbinary! I don’t want to be seen as revolutionary because I’m nonbinary! I want it to be boring! I want it to be normal! I want enban to be just as common and uninteresting a word as man or woman! I want they/them to be as common as she/her or he/him! I want this to be NORMAL and ACCEPTED and COMMON and BORING! I don’t want to be told I’m “brave” or any of that bullshit; I just want to be ACCEPTED AND NORMAL. If you wanna rebel against The Man™ or be revolutionary or edgy or rebellious or whatever just go be a fucking emo or alt or something because my gender is not your goddamn socio-political pawn! Being nonbinary isn’t a choice, it isn’t a costume, it isn’t something you just choose to be to stick it to your white middle-class conservative parents. Being nonbinary isn’t a middle finger to society, or a rock through a windshield of a cop car, or some sort of repackaged anarchy. It’s just a gender!!! It’s INHERENT!

There’s so many people in the nonbinary community who I genuinely think are either binary trans people in denial of being binary trans people or gnc cis people who don’t fucking understand that gender expression =/= gender. I try to be understanding because they’re probably going through shit, probably confused or young or whatever, but that shit is legitimately harmful to enben!!!

I DO think that nonbinary should be a monolith third gender and not an umbrella term. It’s just like bisexual! People keep trying to use these stupid microlabels to define experiences, to differentiate themselves from other people, but it’s all so fucking stupid and confusing and cluttered! Enben and bisexual people have varying experiences with their enbeninity and their sexuality, just like LITERALLY EVER OTHER SEXUALITY AND GENDER! There’s no “one way” to be a man, or a woman, or a binary trans person, or a lesbian, or a gay man! So why the FUCK should we assume that all bisexuals and enben share one experience?! You don’t see men making up a gazillion different labels to describe different experiences of being men, do you? NO! BECAUSE IT’S COUNTERINTUITIVE AND AREALISTIC! Making stupid microlabels and trying to give a name to every nuance and preference and shit just muddies the water and it pisses me off so, so fucking much. If we just accepted that there were three genders: male (cis or trans), female (cis or trans), and nonbinary (neither male nor female or a combo of the two; bigender/duosex or agender/nullsex), and left it at that, it’d be so much less confusing! If we accepted that binary trans and cis people can experience different relationships with their gender, different EXPRESSIONS with their gender, none of this would be happening! But people see ANY deviation from the binary as “nonbinary” that it fucks things up for everyone!

I have more to vent about but I’m too tired to right now. I’m sorry if none of this made sense.

#whoa.txt #Whoa's Posts #Gender Crisis Hours #Nonbinary #Vent #Rant #Today on ''I wish I were cishet'' #Dysphoric Nonbinary #Actually Dysphoric Nonbinary

[hybbat]

I've seen that "trap" is more so a slur for trans women now, so does "twink" fit what I had previously thought of as a trap (that being a feminine looking or feminine presenting man that lacks masculinity yet may still identify as male)? Everything is a bit unclear rn. Love love love your art btw

TL;DR: the word you probably wanna use is femboy.

Just a quick disclaimer: obviously some touchy subjects are going to be talked about ahead. So, this is a discussion centred around terms to use for fictional characters, no real people. When refering to a real person you should always refer to them as whatever they personaly identify as.

Trap refers to, in this conversation's context, a fictional feminine-presenting, often crossdressing, male-identifying person usually with natural traditionally feminine features. The character HAS to identify as male and present as traditionally female, intentionally or not.

It is NOT a transwoman or nonbinary, nor a transman who does not identify themselves as such. Calling any transfolk a trap is incorrorect and incredibly transphobic. So, yes, used in that fashion, it's a slur. If you are not using it like that but to refer to the character defined above I would say no. But especially in public spaces with no context, for the sake of people who might have had it used against them or people who might mistake you for using it that way, you should avoid using it.

GNC: gender non-conforming refers to literally any person who does not conform to traditional presentation of their gender. Its obviously an umbrella term thats too broad for this particular situation but it does technically apply and its useful for context going forward.

Twink: Twink is specifically a young gay man with a small, skinny, or unmasculine build, but not really comparable. They are not inherently feminine, for starters, they're just not masculine. Twink is an older term used in lgbt spaces long before the current spike in awareness of GNC and was, to my understanding, a counterpart to bears. Not all twinks are GNC, and using it, while will probably be accurate, might not imply what you want.

Femboy: These days femboy is used as a replacement but femboy does not imply crossdressing or even natural feminine features and is a bit broader, but its pretty close. It is a boy that is feminine, so is useful as a slightly broader term that still implies almost the same thing without including too much more that you might not also catagorize as such. Its in essence a counterpart to tomboy.

Crossdresser: Crossdresser is broad as it does not imply the same thing, its just clothing choice for a plethora of reasons. It is typically accurate but includes literally anyone wearing traditionally gendered clothing of the opposite gender.

Otokonoko: this is a genre of "crossdressing men for men" and used by japanese crossdressers. Some people in japan also use it incorrectly to refer to transwomen, though as someone who neither lives in japan nor knows japanese I'm not an authority. Its basically only useful for looking up the manga genre, I do not recommend its use given how out of context from its culture it is and how scrambled its meaning already seems to be.

Your safest bet is femboy. It's mostly accurate, the general public can understand it without needing much explanation or too much confusion, its popular, and its what I personally use when tagging my art.

#ask