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tenok · 2 months

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Still fuming about «Crowley’s so queer it makes Aziraphale looks straight» take. I saw some people saying «queer is not a political identity» as an argument against it... and actually I disagree. Queer is an identity that’s as much about politics and community as is about gender and orientation. «Queer as in fuck you» indeed! And while I’m pretty sure that if you’ll ask Aziraphale he will say that he’s queer because mentally he still in times where it was term preferred by community as whole (or he’ll say that «gay» is his gender because he still links gender and orientation together and it’s a habit thats hard to break), I’ll argue that he’s definitely queer by definition. And I won’t say that one of them more or less queer, I want to vomit just from thinking this, but he and Crowley definitely different flavors of queer; and the point is community.

See, the Crowley we see is not the very community-oriented being. He despises angels and demons alike, he’s not close with humans, through whole series we saw him connected with Aziraphale, maybe Warlock, Shadwell to some point and only as a subordinate he’s not really interested in (Aziraphale actually remembered all the names of soldiers Shadwell pulled from his ass, on the other hand [book, also in script if I remember correctly]). But for Aziraphale community is the whole deal. He links himself to communities: community of book collectors, for example ([in book at least]), community of angels (even in season two he regretfully said that he misses reporting back to his lot), as soon as he put his roots there he become part of British and specifically London community (immediately clocked as British by everyone, for better or for worse). And he’s clearly consider himself and considered by others as part of queer community. For example:

He’s clocked as specifically effeminate gay man (which is part of queer umbrella oh my god stop misuse of political slogans gay are not some kind of others that are lesser for being gay!!!) by everyone, to the point of getting called homophobic slurs (twice in book, once in series) and being targeted by literal Nazis. He’s not arguing or denying, he reclaims it: he’s not calling himself gay, he’s proudly declaring that he’s THE southern pansy (not very «hurray establishment» of him hmmm?). He looks so gay and safe that cemetery man from season 2 doesn’t see a problem in telling him he uses grindr!

Tied to this: he can present as anyone else, he chooses to look soft, gay, effeminate, he chooses to make silly sounds and flamboyant gestures, and as soon as he gets comfortable he likes to go a little campy (can you imagine Crowley in ribbons and frills? do we see male-presenting Crowley in pink silky shoes? would he fight to the death before you put him into pencil-drawen moustache and bright cape with shiny starts? yes he’s GNC! there’s more then one way to be GNC and one is not better then other because it’s in black and sexy!). I’ll argue that him choosing one comfortable presentation and stick to this is no less groundbreaking by heavens standards then «hoarding all the genders» since he’s not treats his corporation as «meat suite», he really had an identity tied to it!

And using this identity he becomes part of 100 guineas club. Part of gay/queer (it was in times where this distinction was meaningless) community with fellow queers, where he learned queer ways, such as dances, becoming part of queer culture as a whole (and should I remind you that back in days drag was mandatory part of such clubs? if we measuring queerness by how close it to cross-dressing apparently). He also collects literature by queer authors, immersing himself in this culture, again. Do I remember correctly that Oscar Wilde gifted him one of his books specifically? So we can safely assume he hangs with queer authors as well? Correct me if it’s not in canon (I’m freely mixing tv and book canon there btw although usually I treat them as two different things)

He also lives in Soho. He specifically chooses to live there, knowing perfectly well what a neighborhood it is (even back in 1600s it already had a Reputation). He knows what it says about him and he aims for it! (Crowley lives in Mayfair because it says something about him too — remember that while Aziraphale constructed himself around being soft and gay, Crowley intentionally made himself look as irrating rich asshole. If this asshole has vibes of sinister gay that would gladly corrupt you if you ask nicely, that’s another story) He is a part of this community! As a word of god, he: speaks Polari freely because he used it… with other queers (as oppose to Crowley that knows «bits» because he hangs out with criminals); he hide incriminating things from fellow Soho residents back when there were police raids (breaking law to help those in need is reacurring theme with him!). He still part of this community, he knows people, people knows him, he literally gives place to lesbian women for free so she can have her dream shop (supporting your local queer business!) (also great call back to Edingurg minisode! Aziraphale, personal saint of broke lesbians!)

I’ll also argue that letting in first Gabriel and next Muriel was a very queer of him. Queers help other queers: he may not like Gabriel, but «he has no other friends» (and he's homeless after being kicked out from heavens after disaster forbidden love affair with other queer being, hmmm? paralleles with reality of being queer much?), so he steps in. And Muriel, while being the same age as those two (we're NOT child-coding Muriel in this house), vibes as queer youth in needs of guidance, and Aziraphale, that had every right to be suspicious and cold to them, immediately lets them into safety of his shop and tries to be nice and supporting in both older queer and older ND cousin way.

So, in conclusion: Aziraphale is a queer being, that likes to make it clear that he’s queer and queer GNC man specifically; he’s part of queer community for at least couple hundred of years, participant in queer culture, and he watches out for other queers, helping his own as much as he can, using his money and other resources and breaking law to do so when needed. What there can make him look straight even as a joke?

Crowley is absolutely a queer being too, in very queer love with other queer being, and I'm sure he has a blast pocking into rules and boundaries of genders, orientations and all kinds of relationships since he loves questioning and testing so much. He also has a cool rebellious aesthetic and «fuck all» attitude, so it’s understandable that he becomes tumblrs queer icon (and being played by David Tennant helps for sure). But if you ask them both where’s local shelter for homeless queers located, one of them will have an answer and it won’t be a Crowley, or he wouldn’t sleep in his car (I'm joking), and this is as much of the part of being queer as having cool aesthetic or being kicked from home (I'm joking again). And it's a shame that some people want to make a competention out of it, because it gives us infinity possibilities to discuss their different experiences and choices, down to what their respective aesthetic choices says about them, and how they can use their strong sides to support each other! But alas.

#good omens #aziraphale defense squad #bad takes that won't let me sleep at night #makes Aziraphale look straight my ass #that's a nice post! bitchy one will stay in my head!#btw I wouldn't spend my time at it if person that wrote that take made a honest mistake trying to joke but apparently it's not their first #bad take so while I don't want to pick a fight I want to at least rant

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evensquirrellier · 3 years

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The way this ad was under an AmazingPhil video is absolutely sending me. Like, if you’re watching Phil’s videos, you don’t really need the quiz, you’re just gay.

#amazingphil #phil lester #dan and phil #dnp #phandom #gay #i’m using gay as an umbrella term for queer btw

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boyfriendsmalec · 3 years

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Everyone in Cherry Magic is gay except for Urabe

#cherry magic #cherry magic spoilers #not really spoilers but like...#obv we got Kurosawa and Adachi and Tsuge and Minato #then we have Fujisaki our aro/ace queen #Rokkaku def is gay too #I’m using gay as an umbrella term btw #like they could be bi/pan/queer whichever

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merlinoutofcontext · 4 years

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wait so why do you think merlin isn’t queerbaiting? this isn’t meant to be rude im just curious

hey! happy to answer, and i didn’t perceive your question as rude at all btw. here are my thoughts, i’m sorry they’re so long but i also don’t think this is a topic that can be summarized in a few sentences, so...

i don’t really know how else to say that it isn’t queerbaiting by just stating that it isn’t. there is very little evidence in the actual show to even claim that the show was at any point queerbaiting. but to be fair, i also think it’s important to note the term “queerbaiting” doesn’t even have an “official” definition so it can mean very different things to different people. this is the definition that i am working with.

“When an author/director/etc. gives hints, and clever twists to paint a character as possibly being queer, to satisfy queer audiences, but never outright says they are so they can keep their heterosexual audience.”

bbc merlin is a family show. and i don’t mean “family show” in the way that it is usually insinuated - as in it’s supposed to be “clean” and “nice” and “appealing” to a family audience, so therefore any queercoded message is bad and not appropriate. what i mean is that it’s a tv show that was expected to be approachable by families of all ages, at any point throughout the series, so that they can understand what’s happening. whether or not you watched the episode that aired the previous week has absolutely no bearing on the next episode. merlin only started having multi-episode arcs in series 3. and it’s this reason why i think so many ppl are dissatisfied with the show, bc it wasn’t meant to be this deep narrative. they didn't have enough time to write in full fledged storylines. but i digress.

i’m going to be using other tumblr obsessed tv show and ship as examples here.

i will admit that my original post was sparked by some of the stuff surrounding supernatural that’s happened, but i’m not really going to speak to it much. i do think the internet may have went a bit overboard, and i don’t want to sit here and claim spn was queerbaiting its audience because i actually do think thats kind of a subjective thing. but in my opinion, the fact that they waited until their final season, and what appears to be a characters last episode, to make the ship that has been a large driving force of their remaining audience for the past 12 years, canon, does sit a little weird with me. anyway.

lets use another ship as an example that is literally, unequivocally queerbaiting. i don’t care about your opinion here, this show queerbaited the hell out of its audience for 7 literal years. johnlock.

multiple times throughout the show the relationship between john and sherlock is hinted at through the language of the show, by characters in the show, etc. more often than not, the concept of a relationship between them is framed as a joke. additionally, bbc’s sherlock kept the sexuality of their main character (coincidentally the titular character) ambiguous, while also managing to make fun of their audience of shippers for even thinking that johnlock could be a possibility.

never once in bbc’s merlin is the concept of arthur and merlin being close to one another, or connected by fate/destiny/magic (which is often seen as being coded for sexuality) as a bad thing. not in the text of the show, not by the creators of the show, not by the actors in the show. in fact, even in the last episode, merlin’s devotion to arthur is only ever framed as a positive:

“Some men are born to plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings. Me, I was born to serve you Arthur and I’m proud of that. And I wouldn’t change a thing.”

similarly, sometime after this arthur tells merlin to never change. in my opinion, a distinct aspect of a queerbaiting show is when the show places hints in the language used by the characters to say that a character might a) be queer in some way or b) have a relationship with someone of the same gender as them. but then when the fandom talks about this towards the actors, or the creators of the show, it’s immediately pushed away by creators and seen as a negative thing. or it’s completely ridiculous that the fandom would even think of such at thing.

people will argue that merlin’s devotion to arthur, and their relationship in general is what makes it queerbaiting. that by the sheer existence of some longwinded eye contact, or statements of friendship and devotion to each other that the show was queerbaiting its audience. but the difference is that merlin’s devotion to arthur and subsequently arthur’s devotion to merlin was never framed as a joke for the audience, or as a negative thing. it was written as something we are supposed to celebrate about merlin.

this show was never written with the intention for merlin and arthur to be together. it’s a retelling of arthurian myth with a bit of a twist in it. merlin and arthur are meant to be the main characters, but a romantic relationship was never on the table.

characters do remark on merlin’s loyalty to arthur, but it’s always in a questioning way, a why is this man so loyal to the king? what is the big reason? and, yeah, the Big Reason is his magic and their shared destiny. and yes it’s a valid interpretation that magic/destiny = sexuality, and merlin = gay (used as an umbrella term here). but that doesn’t mean it’s queerbaiting. it’s just subtext.

and subtext =/= queerbaiting.

#answered #long post

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kimyoonmiauthor · 2 years

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PSA to my fellow Aces out there.

I generally hate PSAs, but I’ve been seeing some behavior I need to call my fellow aces out on. I’m saying this in the hopes that there is education, uplift, and more unity, rather than accidentally hating on other aces and other groups.

Quick note about vocab used:

Yes, I know, ace umbrella exists, but as a gray-a I don’t like the idea that we’re getting rained on and there is no range within and no diversity within. I don’t begrudge others who use ace umbrella, but I just like the term ace spec more and even went out of my way to argue for it waaayyy back in 2008-ish. I’m using that terminology here. I don’t like the idea I’m getting half sun burnt or rained on, making those “fully under the umbrella” more “legitimate”. Since this terminology came from Asexuality.org, I have even stronger objections to my *personally* using it. Ace spec is also shorter and gets past half the problems they started with the whole founders of asexuality.org trying zed passing while complaining about straight passing problems from the larger queer community.

Other things in the queer community are called spectrums too. Like intersex, pansexuality and bisexuality and trans communities talk about spectrums as well. Other social justice groups, like neurodiversity talk about spectrums. Spectrums are also slightly more threatening to the fear of straight passing people, so honestly, it pleases me on that level too.

I don’t begrudge the ace umbrella terminology wider used, but I think we can do better.

The asexuality definition needs an upgrade. Asexuality.org fought me on this, but seriously, what happened to the other aces?

The definition of asexuality should be: No, limited or conditional sexual attraction.

Asexuality.org said that was too complicated and the poor zedsexuals wouldn’t understand it. It’s more like they want to prop up no sexual attraction as the “correct” asexuality. And from my classes, that’s the additive model in action. It’s not doctor, it’s lady doctor. It’s not nurse, it’s male nurse. It’s not astronaut, it’s lady astronaut. It’s not pilot, it’s black pilot. It’s Asian artist, not artist. BTW, asexuality.org used to define those who felt no sexual attraction at all as asexual asexual. They dropped it. I think given the uneven labeling and confusion, we need a better term for those who feel absolutely no sexual attraction. I don’t believe in defaults in the human species. And that’s my biggest gripe with asexuality.org. They are setting a default that shouldn’t exist. (Also the racism and transphobia, but you know how I am--I have my eyes on the big shiny prize of eliminating all discrimination because it serves all my marginalizations.)

Demisexual is not separate from asexuality.

I’ve seen some ace of spades claim that demisexuality is not part of the ace community. And likewise, demisexuals claim they aren’t part of the ace community. It’s all in the spectrum.

In fact, demisexual belongs on the gray-ace part of the scale. You can be more than one type of gray ace. It’s the square is a rectangle and also a parallelogram. Demisexual is also gray-ace and also ace spec.

You definitely can have more than one gray-ace as part of the scale. So you could be demisexual and Apothisexual. And you can be on a scale. So knowing demisexuality can be *with* other microlabels of asexuality and gray asexuality helps identity navigation. This is why I’m saying don’t take larger labels away.

Not all aces are automatically aro spec.

And likewise, not all aro spec are ace. And we should also respect that.

Yes, you can have more than one type of sexual attraction.

Julie Sondra Decker said that there are two types of sexual attraction: Primary, which is missing for aces. And secondary, which isn’t missing for all aces. Secondary is usually the Lesbian, gay, pan, bi, etc.

However, there are also split attraction models which include aces in the gray-a, where they might feel primary attraction, but then lose it.

There are also people who are sexually attracted to a particular gender or set of genders, but have a different romantic or secondary sexual attraction.

Let it be messy. Sexuality, in general, is messy.

It’s OK to speak your truth, but don’t detract from the rest of the LGBTQIA spectrum (This goes for the rest of the LGBTQIA spectrum as well)

Transphobes need to go. Spank them within the community.

There are more A’s than Aces. Don’t hog the letter and no, I’m not talking allies.

Aros exist. You can acknowledge their existence without speaking for them. They are more invisible than aces. I’m both, BTW.

Agender people also exist. They also get erased within the trans community, so a quick acknowledgement to ask to fight together for the A won’t go amiss.

Don’t make the A all about aces in social justice spaces. Once you try to claim the A, that’s a social justice action and you should be fighting for all three groups, not just yourself. If you want to lick your wounds, that’s separate from requesting the A be included.

And my last frustration: I get it, the white cis males are super focused on asexuality as a marginalization.

That doesn’t mean you can’t also make room for intersectionality. When PoC aces tell you that racism is worse than that, maybe listen and try to understand why and how it interacts for us. I understand the victim mentality very, very, very well. I mean the list of traumas would make you insta say “I wouldn’t be able to put up with that” (which is what most people tell me anyway because I tend to be more marginalized than them such that they accuse me of being a catfish). But when you hyper focus and reply to things like social justice posts with victim mentality and LGBTQIA days which are about celebration, it really does sound like centering on yourself.

Yes, yes, aces, as an ace, do need visibility, but keep in mind aromantics aren’t really talked about and in media people automatically think asexuality and aromanticism are tied, which diminishes aromantics. And no one ever talks about agender that much under the A letter.

A tip for the white male cis aces out there... you would write, “I am not aro and not agender, but I am ace and would like the A to be included. I cannot speak for the other two groups, but I hope they would join me in this desire. I recognize they are more invisible than us.” Then you can launch into specific marginalization and why you think you should be included and fear of straight-passing in the community.

Conclusion:

This isn’t a case of all aces are like this. But an eye on what we can do as aces to improve our social justice as we move forwards. To be more inclusive, welcoming and also keep ourselves on the path of better and less prejudiced inclusion.

You can talk about your marginalization without slamming the door in the face of another marginalization and especially marginalization of your own group. You might not have gotten over your marginalization or trauma yet. That’s fine. You can take your travels through healing the trauma as you see fit. BUT You say “I want representation,” but then slam the door in the face of someone else more marginalized than you--who has less representation and claim someone asking you to acknowledge that makes them asking for “ally” you’re just being an asshole at that point.

Intersectionality exists. You want to prop up your community, don’t do it at the cost of your own community. Recognize the diversity within, once you’ve licked your wounds, and while you’re licking your wounds, be careful how and where you share. Make sure it is in safe places, out of social justice spaces. Because as I’ve argued before, victimhood and social justice don’t mix that well. You need to at least get up to survivor. If you want someone to coddle your feelings *only*, don’t do it in spaces where they are asking for change.

#asexuality #asexual #social justice

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m3r1m4r5u333 · 3 years

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((Here, have my angry rant on biphobia within the queer community. This rant could, with little tweaks, be about the discrimination and ignorance of almost any other kind of multisexuality as well. But I struggled to come up with a umbrella term for that while I was writing this, and a shared name for the phobia of them all. So I simplified things. Also, we keep hearing the term 'biphobia' but I feel like many people don't recognize it when it happens, so I thought I'd focus on that.))

Anyway.

I once shared - to a gay guy - my upset about the fact that gay people use bisexuality as a stepping stone on their way out of the closet. He acted all understanding, told me that it sucks that people do that... And TWO DAYS later wanted to share exciting news! He'd told his dad that he's bi! He told me that he'd lied to his dad, and he knows he's not actually bi, but he'd figured he could test the waters that way!

I was stunned. I'd just told him in freaking detail that this is harmful to the bi community because nobody believes that bisexuality is real when eventually every 'bi' person just says they were lying and are actually 100% gay. So I wished that people who KNOW they aren't bi would stop telling people they're bi.

But there we were. He'd just happily shat on me and my people and then expected freaking congratulations for coming out. I acted calm. Told myself it's great that he came out - well sorta came out. Said my congrats. Honestly, what I really wanted to do was tell him to FUCK OFF. That freaking audacity to listen to my grief about how people treat the bi community and think 'hey, I think I'll fuck them over this way too, what a great idea!".

Gay people keep telling us that they want bi people to stop hiding, to be your allies? Then be ours in return! Dicks.

Btw, if you're very gay and gay only, and you're reading this, wish to come out somehow, think that dude's idea was a great one... It isn't the soft landing you think it is.

You'll likely have to come out twice to the same people, first as bi, then as gay. Btw, have fun regaining their trust after admitting to lying, they'll either think you can't be trusted or that you're mentally unstable because your understanding of sexual identity keeps changing - and most likely your family will cling onto the hope that the first announcement - you're bi - was the true one so have fun trying to introduce your same-sex partners to your family. They may just ignore your same-sex partner and keep trying to set you up with that "nice person" to get you into that nice 'straight' relationship because you have that potential, right? You're almost straight, right? They just need to find that right person for you and the problem is solved!

And no. You won't avoid religious rants by saying you're "only" bi, not fully gay. You will still run into people who are disgusted by thoughts of your sex life. People won't leave you be because you're only 'semi-gay'. No, they will still push heterosexuality on you. They will still ramble on about hell fire and your precious soul that needs saving asap.

So bisexuality isn't the stress-free joyride people think it is, most often you just get the traditional same-sex-relationship-phobia alongside with hatred from the gay community.

What hatred from the gay community? Nobody is biphobic, bisexuals have a letter and all! Right?

No. Let me just share some wonderfully ignorant (misquoted) biphobic insights from within the queer community that we keep running into!

1. "Bisexuals are just faking that identity to hide their true pure gayness. Bisexuality doesn't exist. They're still in the closet. They're all just gay like us! I'm gay, and I also pretended to like a different gender for a while! These "bisexuals" will come out FOR REAL any day now. So you're saying you're bi? It's a phase!

No it's NOT a dick move to say that to a bisexual person - it's concern for their mental health because friends look out for each other and it's healthier to REALLY come out. You'll feel so much better - just admit you're not bi already! You're not ready yet? It's okay! Once you get some experience under your belt and really taste that rainbow you can't go back. You'll soon be strictly into dick or pussy like I am. Haha haha!

Sure, it sucks when straight people try to invalidate us gay people by saying that our homosexual identity is a phase... but why would I, a gay person, remember that hurt when there's a chance to pass along the rotten unvalidation apple to someone else! After all, what's greater than to maximize that experience of doubt and disrespect! Let's make sure that this brainless hounding never stops - Some people will try to invalidate your sexuality because they're trying to save your soul and others will try to turn you gay because you need to be gay to really fit in the community, to really support the community, to hate any hint of the heteronormative lifestyle with us. Abracadabra be straight in the name of a god/ abracadabra be gay so that you'll never abandon the queer rights movement! Yeah sounds like a plan, we should just attack whenever the religious nutters wander away to really bombard this bisexual motherfucker with invalidation so that they can never have a moment of peace anywhere. The queer community isn't their safe place, let's remind them of that.

2. "Maybe they aren't bi... Maybe they're straight! Watch out! Bisexuals are just using you for easy sex!! Using you to experiment. Using you to look cool because everyone knows bisexuality is TreNdY. Using you to turn on someone they're actually into. Using you because it makes them feel good to be wanted when they feel nothing for you. Using you for your company until they abandon you and settle in that straight marriage. Using you because they want to avoid an ex and acting 'bi' will make that ex lose interest. U s i n g... y o u.... Can't think of a reason why right now - but there must be a hidden one, everyone knows those flighty bisexuals can't be trusted!"

3. (Basically these" well-meaning" fuckers never mind their business. When a bi/pansexual is in a same-sex relationship people keep trying to warn the same-sex partner that the person they're dating is actually straight and in a same-sex relationship simply for attention, convenient sex, or to experiment, and will eventually leave them for that heterosexual lifestyle.

When a bi person is in a different-sex-relationship people keep telling their partner that the person they're dating is actually gay and using them as a beard/the person they're dating is gay and they're just using their partner for their reproductive organs since they want to be a parent and it'a easier to have kids this way.)

4. Bisexuals CRAVE sex. They're insatiable. They cheat. They're addicted to sex. They're unable to be monogamous. They must have a female partner and male partner to thrive, this is a need they ALL have. They're ALL polyamorous."

5. "Okay, maybe they're not all polyamorous... But they're clearly unable to love or stay interested long-term! Even if they're monogamous they will just randomly get bored of the same genitalia and will break up with you to have fun with a different set."

6. They will INSULT you by really being bi!!!! They will tell you that they're bi, date you, and when the relationship some day ends... They ACTUALLY turn out to be bi by starting a relationship with someone of a different sex!!! How offensive!!! THIS IS AN ATTACK ON YOU AND YOUR GENDER AND YOUR COMMUNITY woop woop ring the fucking alarm! Clearly they picked their new partner just because they wanted to wave a middle finger in your direction! How dare they not be cured of bisexuality by your love/magical private parts! How dare they not consult their ex about who they get to date after the relationship ends!! How dare they abandon the discriminated minority and pick heteronormativity instead! They should always struggle like you do! How dare they undermine the superior mightyness of gay love by entering a different-sex relationship! How dare they forget about gay rights by not picking a partner that makes the gay community visible - the gay community needs their mascots! How dare they insult your gender and attractiveness by falling for someone who does not look like you! How dare they pick someone with different genitalia than you - you're a sex god and your ex should always crave for the same kind of sex they had with you! Obviously they should consider your feelings and choose a partner who doesn't hurt your tender self-esteem like that. Their new partner should actually look like your identical twin so that you know they're properly fucked up about the break-up! This is all about YOU. YOU. YOU. You get to decide who your ex gets to fall for. Their new relationships are your business because you own them even though you aren't even dating anymore. You think this logic is completely sane - but they're the asshole because they moved on from your biphobic ass."

7. They said they're bi and started dating me. This is a same-sex relationship. Obviously this means that they're fully gay now. Or... It means that you should be super paranoid that some day they will embrace their internalized homophobia and break up with you! Even if you've been out to everyone for years, attend pride every year.. Yes, clearly they're super ashamed of their sexuality."

8. "They said they were bi when they dated you, their same-sex partner. Now they're with someone of a different gender. It isn't a same-sex relationship... Which means that they're straight now! Because a dating history of being in relationships with more than one gender is somehow NOT bisexual behavior! How fucked up of them to go back in the closet and pretend to be straight!"

9. "Bisexuals must always choose a same-sex relationship. Anything else is offensive, homophobic and traitorous to the community. They must always choose the harder path. They must struggle. They can't choose a different-sex partner and avoid discrimination - that's selfish! They must suffer like we do even though they could be perfectly happy in a different-sex relationship. They must not use common sense and seek a partner with whom they can have child without needing to resort to adoption or surrogacy.

It's just homophobic to want that easier heteronormative lifestyle!!!! Nevermind that same-sex relationships are illegal in large parts of the world, nevermind that in large parts of the world people with same-sex attraction may end up dead, be executed by their own government, be attacked or end up in prison. Nevermind that in many countries same-sex adoption isn't an option, or surrogacy isn't legal. Nevermind that it likely costs fuckloads even if it's legal. Nevermind all that and everything else. They should just always struggle. It's more romantic to face hardship and date within the gay community - struggling soulmates baby! They must not set their personal needs first, they must not fall for someone who's different gender than them - they are our puppets, they exist to be mascots for the gay rights movement. Any decision to have an easier life will be seen as internalized homophobia and slacking. Fuck heteronormativity! And fuck bisexuals.

No wait - don't. Don't fuck them. Don't date them. They can't be trusted. Stay clear of them! What did you say, 'that's biphobic'? We're NOT biphobic. We HavE MaNy Bi FrIEnDs. BiSeXUaLiTy Is VaLId."

#Biphobia #biphobic #discrimination #bisexuality #pansexuality #heteronormativity #lgbtqa #lgbtqiia+#lgbtq #lgbt discourse

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thevagueambition · 3 years

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Danish Queer Vocab

Content warning for frank discussion of slurs with no censorship.

Note that the Danish relationship to slurs is way more casual than the Anglophone one, particularly in the queer community.

Also note that we use a lot of untranslated loanwords from English, and I’ll only note those if the meaning is different in some significant way.

LGBT+ Danmark also has a dictionary (in Danish) here.

Btw Danes, I’m curious if your view on any of these words differ from how I read them/would translate them.

Generally:

Springe ud [af skabet] / Komme ud [af skabet]: Come out [of the closet]. The former is technically the established phrase in Danish (lit. “jump out of the closet”), but young people often use the latter, Anglicised version.

Regnbuefamilie: Literally “rainbow family.” Families where one or more of the parents are part of the LGBTQ community, particularly when they reject the traditional nuclear family model.

Regnbuebarn: Child of a regnbuefamilie.

Normkritik: Literally norm critique or criticism, a praxis where social and societal norms are questioned, often in the context of queer activists or feminists encouraging schools to be more normkritiske in their pedagogy (I suspect it comes from Swedish and is applied more broadly in the Swedish usage)

Queer: An academic or political term, as in queer theory, and sometimes used as an umbrella term for the community like in its English usage. Unlike in English, no negative usage exists and the term is not controversial.

Miljøet: In slang usage, the (gay/queer) scene in a given city. Note than “miljøet” usually means “the environment” in ordinary conversation, although “miljø” may be used in a similar way to describe other communities, e.g. “kunstnermiljøet” for artistic circles.

LGBT-miljøet: The LGBT community

Queer-miljøet: The Queer community

Gender vocab:

Fejlkønne / Miskønne: Misgender (I have personally only heard the former, but LGBT+ Danmark only list the latter)

Transkønnet: Transgender

Transkønnede: Transgender people

Transperson / Transpersoner: Trans person / Trans people, frequently the umbrella term within the community (sometimes also includes transvestites)

Transmand: Trans man

Transkvinde: Trans woman

Ikke-binær / Non-binær: Non-binary

Interkønnet: Intersex (Danish does not have the “gender/sex” division)

Ciskønnet: Cisgender

Transvestit: Transvestite, crossdresser. Retains more of the older usage where a level of genderfluidity is often implied than the English equivalent does although is similarly falling out of use. Is not generally considered offensive unless misapplied to e.g. trans women.

hen/hen/hens: From Finnish “hän” through the Swedish usage as a neopronoun, originally in feminist writing but adopted by Swedish non-binary people, rare in Denmark.

de/dem/deres: They pronouns, often used by non-binary Danes, although not as often as the English counterpart is used in English. Not to be confused with De/Dem/Deres, which is the (mostly obsolete) formal you pronoun set (cf. french Vous).

Sexuality vocab:

Homoseksuel: Homosexual, gay. Unlike the English equivalent, this is always an adjective. Not considered offensive, but may come off as somewhat formal.

Homoseksuelle: Gay people

Homo (adjective or prefix): Gay in a neutral sense (see the next few entries)

Homobar: Gay bar

Homovielse: Gay marriage

Homofest: Literally “gay party”, usually a reference to a Pride event

Homosex: Gay sex

Homomiljøet: The gay community (or scene)

Homo (noun): Gay, homo, generally the former when used inside the community (”homoer” is comparable to “gays”) and the latter when used outside it, although even then it’s not as derogatory as I suspect the English counterpart is.

Samkønnet forhold / Samkønnet par: Same-sex relationship / Same-sex couple

Samkønnet sex: The more academic term for gay sex. Properly translates to sex between two people of the same gender.

Samkønsægteskab: Same-sex marriage (homovielser is more common, in my estimation)

Bøsse: Gay man, often used derogatorily among kids and teens (unless that’s changed in the last 5-10 years since I was around them), but usually neutral and the most common word for gay man, particularly within the community. Note that “bøsse” can also mean rifle or collection box — the sexual usage was originally a crude reference to a rifle being loaded or cleaned.

Bøssebar: Gay (male) bar

Bøssemiljøet: The gay male scene (or community)

Bøsserøv: Derogatory, lit. bøsse + arse

Bøssekarl: Derogatory, lit. bøsse + lad

Bøssesvin: Extremely derogatory, lit. bøsse + swine. In Danish, the worst slurs for various groups tend to compound words including svin.

Svans: Derogatory, feminine gay man. Comparable to “fairy” or “queen.”

Lesbisk: Lesbian

Lebbe: Lesbian, comparable to “lesbo.” Casual slang most of the time, occasionally derogatory.

Lebbebar: Lesbian bar

Betonlebbe: Masculine lesbian, lit. concrete + lebbe. Comparable to “stone butch” within the community or “dyke” when used derogatorily.

Bjørn: Bear

Biseksuel, panseksuel, aseksuel, osv.: Bisexual, pansexual, asexual, etc.

Homoromantisk, biromantisk, panromantisk, aromantisk, osv: Homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, aromantic, etc

Homofil, bifil: Homophile, biphile, outdated words for homosexual and bisexual, coined to deemphasise the sexual aspect as part of the homophile movement in the 50s which was popular enough in Denmark that you’ll very occasionally hear these terms pop up. For the record, though, these are just the normal terms in Norwegian.

Hetero: Straight

Heteroer: Straight people

#danish #danish vocab #i've shared this before in response to a question #but this is the edited version lol #i also have a pdf if anyone wants that lmao

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nothorses · 3 years

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I kinda hate when people say "you can call yourself queer but never use it for anyone else without asking". Like. Yes okay thats not a *bad* idea, but in that case we should also really be asking people before we call them gay, or lesbian, or any number of community terms, and yet it seems like queer is the only word these people think about. Like the people who say you can't use queer as a community word yet will use "gay" as an umbrella term for the entire LGBT+ community (1/2)

(2/2) without a second thought. Like, excuse me! How come I'm not allowed to call my community the queer community because not everyone likes the word queer, but you're allowed to call everyone gay regardless of if they identify as gay? Its so hugely hypocritical

Yeahh imo it’s one of those arguments that makes sense conceptually, and works in some contexts, but starts to really fall apart when you look any closer.

On an individual level, I wholeheartedly agree. You shouldn’t use any terms for people that they aren’t comfortable with, and you should always change the language you use for someone when asked.

But like... we do have to have “default” terms, right? There’s a reason these words exist, and it’s because we need ways to refer to people. We can’t get everyone’s consent on every term we use before referring to them, so we need to be able to default to something until we can ask, or until we’re corrected.

How do we go about choosing those defaults? The folks who advocate against “queer” would generally suggest we use “gay” instead- but that doesn’t describe us all. And what if you need to refer to a trans person’s queerness without outing them as trans? (Which is, btw, the exact reason TERFs want to get rid of the term “queer”- to force trans women to out themselves.)

A single person isn’t “LGBTQ+”, either. And for group reference, it’s generally too wordy for casual speech, has too many variations for academic use, prioritizes some identities over others, and doesn’t always include all identities. And it’s not a term everyone consents to. Which is what these people argue it needs to be.

It should be obvious that we can’t actually get consent from every single individual from an entire demographic for an umbrella term for that demographic. “Consent” doesn’t need to be a factor here- and it’s a very transparently disingenuous argument against the word “queer”. It should be a factor when referring to individuals, absolutely, but it doesn’t make sense to translate that to umbrella terms.

Use the words that make sense, choose them with good intentions, and change how you refer to individuals when they ask you to. It’s genuinely that simple.

#queer #not horses #Anonymous

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flodaya · 4 years

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Hi flora! I was wondering, why not call fatou a wlw? Genuinely asking!! As a lesbian myself I've grown accustomed to using wlw as an umbrella term (like mlm?) but as english is not my 1st language I am now wondering if I am using it incorrectly. Don't want to harm my own group of people 😅 thanks!

here is the thing, if you are a lesbian and want to keep calling fatou a wlw go ahead! wlw is an umbrella term for women who love women

I take issue with the refusal to acknowledge that fatou is in fact by the very definition a lesbian, if people refuse to call her a lesbian when she described and fits the textbook definition of a lesbian I get low-key triggered and sad because it’s an easy way to avoid saying lesbian. it’s still often considered a “dirty word” - even within the community - it took me forever to accept it as my label (tbh I’m still working on it) because there are so many prejudices and stigmata attached to the term. we need to reclaim the word and we can start by not using umbrella terms for lesbian characters

Lexa on the 100 is widely accepted as a lesbian and as far as I can recall she has never outright stated she uses the label lesbian (nor has she ever clearly stated she isn’t into men iirc) but why is it an issue for some of you to “label” fatou who has come out in a way that can not in any way be interpreted as being interested in men and women as a lesbian? and think about it: what would we call a male character that said he doesnt do girlfriends and is into men? would anyone hesitate to call him gay? actually, we don’t have to think in hypotheticals here because isak himself has never said “I am gay” when he came out, he only ever said he likes a boy/not a girl* yet we all agree he is gay

btw, not to get too much into queer media theory but a similar thing happens with bisexual characters in tv/movies/books where these characters never actually use their label or only ever say they don’t label themselves. media isn’t real life, there can’t be the same rules for real life and media, whereas in real life it is absolutely valid if you don’t want to label yourself and/or you don’t feel comfortable with the label that most closely represents you (yet or ever) that is absolutely fine, keep using umbrella terms or no label at all! but in media this is often done to avoid using “dirty words”, words that have too many negative connotations and instead of reclaiming and re-normalizing these terms the writers decide to be “über-liberal” and say the character doesn’t label themselves. the erasure of labels isn’t as revolutionary as some people seem to think

tl;dr you, anon, and any other lesbian who is comfortable calling fatou (and other clearly lesbian characters) a wlw can go ahead! but others avoiding labels such as lesbian for fictional female characters who are exclusively interested in women feels iffy. this isn’t real life where we need to respect people’s boundaries and wishes, this is fictional representation and you need to respect people who this representation is for

anyway, it’s not that deep (she says after having a small meltdown and it triggered her internalized lesbiphobia and was only saved by ranting to her friends about it last night and she has now written a whole essay about the issue lol) I won’t crucify anyone for using umbrella terms for fatou, I will just side-eye you really hard**

* “maybe a little” isn’t confirming his label

** again unless you are a lesbian yourself in which case feel free to use umbrella terms for fatou

#ask #druck #this is the end of me discussing this #I will also turn off anon option for the time being because it is triggering me I’m sorry #my posts #fatou jallow

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lightofthemoonglow · 3 years

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Gay is often used as a umbrella term much like queer is (and both have been used as such since before stonewall!), so saying "I'm GAY" to your husband was not only appropriate, it was accurate too (if you wanna identify with the term obvs)

Hope you're having a nice night btw! 💖

I definitely have called myself queer in the past because it feels right and I occasionally call myself gay, it’s just weird to say it. Like, I’m still closeted irl to everyone but my husband and maybe his brother (a story for another day) and I’ve only been with men. Well, a man. One man. Yay for catholic upbringings and all the other baggage.

And my night is going well! My Satan was a Lesbian poster came, so I’m flattening it before I hang it up.

#Anonymous

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waywardfeathered · 3 years

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um so someone contacted me in private to ask me about it, and that’s why i’m aware that there’s been some drama over people who don’t portray castiel as homosexual being called homophobic?

i’m too old for this shit lol.

but ok. first of all, castiel canonically has no gender. like textually, canonically, he has no gender. his sexual orientation has never been canonically stated - the only homophobic way of portraying him would be to call him straight. (kinda actually transphobic to call him a cis male btw! but i’ll let that slide since i don’t really care; he’s never been a trans rep character, he’s... cis agender if anything)

i think where people got confused is that his love confession for dean has been called “homosexual”. you know, purely based on that both of the characters were perceived as male. as in, the same way people call a woman and man in a relationship heterosexual regardless of whether one or both of them are queer or not. or the way people call wlw lesbian whether or not the people are actually lesbian or bi or something else. cas has never been confirmed homosexual by anyone, the confession was what’s been called that. also, “gay” is an umbrella term, the same way as queer is, for a lot of people - especially straight people.

i promise you portraying castiel as pan/bi is not homophobic. this is a character whose canon sexual orientation was never confirmed, and who has been canonically confirmed to have no gender. people who claim otherwise are starting drama over nothing. it’s ok to portray cas as homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual.

btw, portraying canonically homosexual characters as bi/pan is homophobic, so don’t go using this as an excuse to write a bi charlie or something pls. don’t reblog but feel free to quote me. if you feel like sending me anon hate over this, consider this: don’t. i’ll probably just refer you back to this post since it pretty much encompasses the facts.

#WHY IS THIS SITE FULL OF WANK #drama /#negativity cw #homophobia mention /

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joannasiimon · 5 years

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any advice for someone re-questioning their sexuality? i’m already out as bisexual, but i honestly haven’t truly been attracted to any guys since like 7th grade lol. but i also feel like lesbian is too restrictive for me... i know labels shouldn’t be limiting, but i just want to feel comfortable with one sexuality, and to be able to express it to others..(love you and your vids btw! i’m rly excited to see you back on youtube!❤️)

i totally get that but you don’t have to define your sexuality to be comfortable with yourself. you can identify however you want!! i personally use the words queer or gay as an umbrella term that just mean i’m not straight. ALSO sexuality is so fluid and if you did feel more comfortable identifying as a lesbian right now and then find a man in a year or two that you’re into, that’s totally okay! every thing you feel is valid

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posi-pan · 5 years

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Gosh I hate terfs! Sorry you got swamped by them. Tbh I dislike gay as an umbrella and I prefer queer for myself, but I have no problem with other pan/mspec people calling themselves gay and you’re totally right! “Gay” is pushed on the entire lgbtq+ community. If gay people have a problem with that, they need to stop generalizing the community as “gay” and push for better umbrellas! (Straight cis people do this too btw and it’s Even More Annoying bc it feels like they erase all non-gay people)

same, i don’t personally use gay as an umbrella for myself. the only terms i use for myself are pan and queer. but i know that a lot of other mspec people use it as an umbrella. it’s funny though that on here it’s all “gay isn’t an umbrella” because on twitter everyone is all “gay is an umbrella but lesbian isn’t” lmao

and some of them were like “have you ever considered that when gay people talk about ‘gay xyz’ that they’re only talking about actual gay people?” and to that i say, have you ever considered that when i talk about gay being used as an umbrella for everyone, i only mean when it’s actually being used as an umbrella for everyone?

like, i never said gay people are to blame for this. all different kinds of people in the community use it as a community catch all term, and as you said, anon, people out of the community contribute to it as well. but of course, them acting like i’m attacking gay people is what fits their narrative of me being homophobic. *shrug*

#asks #anonymous

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horsegirlhob · 5 years

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about your blog description... harry styles isn’t gay? (Btw this isn’t, like, homophobic, I’m pretty gay but he just isn’t lol)

I’m kinda using gay as an umbrella term here. Harry hasn’t said what exactly his label is but he’s some description of queer.

#asks #Anonymous

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shiroallura · 6 years

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I love shallura. I think shiro and allura's personalities compliment each other really well. But I wouldn't have let myself get so emotionally invested in the ship over the past two years if I knew shiro was gay from the start. I know they said they'd leave his orientation open to interpretation, but gay is going to be the go-to assumption for most people, leading to accusations of homophobia towards shallura. It just seems... irresponsible? of the writers to drop the revaluation this late.

gonna unpack this, bc there’s… a lot here.

“if I knew shiro was gay from the start” shiro can be bi or pan or gayace. and why can he be? see next point

(further more, shiro being mlm does not detract or change his conceviably romantic relationship with allura. bi and pan people exist too! queerness doesn’t change anything about shiro, especially in the shallura fandom where seeing him as mlm was very common, and shiro’s queerness is not dependent on the gender of the partner he’s with, nor if he’s by himself)

“i know they said they’d leave his orientation open to interpretation” they didn’t say they were going to. they said it, plan and simple, the fans can see what they want to see, and be represented in shiro in whatever way fits them, upon being asked about shiro and adam’s sexual orientations for the very first time. that’s canon.

“but gay is going to be the go-to assumption for most people” yeah. so? doesn’t mean you have to think that way too.

“leading to accusations of homophobia towards shallura.” other people attacking you for their ship doesn’t make them right. and if people do, it means they feel threatened by shallura, for some reason, and likely blame it as the reason the creators didn’t say shiro was solely attracted to men (which they never have, btw) and even if that turns out to be the case… who cares? queer people need to understand that a win for one of us is, at its core, a win for all of us, and if they can’t name good solely gay representation, then they need to broaden their horizons, work with creators, or make their own content. not harass other queer people in fandom over something that won’t even be a blimp on other people’s maps.

bi and pan shiro is not homophobic; or at least, if i saw him that way, people wouldn’t hate on me if i just shipped him with adam. aka implying that bi and pan people are only valid representation, or members of the lgbtq+ community when we’re in same sex relationships, which is… such utter bullshit and bi / pan-erasure. i’m panace whether i’m with a woman, a man, or a nonbinary person, and i’m fucking valid whether strangers who have nothing better do with their time like it or not. if someone tells you you’re homophobic for shipping shallura, it means they are ignoring the words of creator and the use of gay as an umbrella term because people like them have made ‘queer’ such a dirty word, and you can go tell them to fuck off, for all i care.

“It just seems… irresponsible? of the writers to drop the revaluation this late.” again: shiro can be mlm and in a relationship with allura. these things are not mutually exclusive. would i have liked shiro being m-spec to have been made known sooner, say s2? yes, because it means representation would have been more well known perhaps, and my bi shiro headcanon would have been made practically canon sooner too! Nothing else would have changed. Not my love for Shallura, and certainly not my investment in it, because it never needed to, and it still doesn’t.

Judging by your ask, it seems you’re more concerned with the state of the fandom, rather than the writers. My advice about the general VLD fandom is, like always: the fandom is dumb so just ignore them. They’re not your time, and appear to be watching such a different version of Voltron then the way you are a conversation isn’t even possible.

As someone who’s been in fandoms for seven years, I’m not kidding when I saw that the Voltron fandom, at large, is probably the stupidest fandom I’ve ever seen when it comes to how they interpret plotlines, characters, and development. (And now, in the wake of s7, it’s clear that LM and JDS aren’t much better, either.)

The sheer popularity of the Black Paladin Lance theory, which I’ve talked about here, demonstrates this almost wholly perfectly. More currently, the fandom’s rage over queerbaiting / bury your gays but not the ableism that surrounded and over shadowed it in massive ways.

As a queer writer who writes queer characters, I also know I’m going to be upfront with my main characters’ sexualities (aka characters who I know the sexualities of). It doesn’t matter if some of them are 11 when the books start, or don’t get a love interest in the end, or even at all. If someone asks me if a character is gay, or what a character’s sexuality is, I am going to answer truthfully. If someone asks me if one of my bi protagonists ends up with a boy or a girl, I am going to say a boy, because that is the version of this story I have chosen to write. If they want to write another, by all means they can! I would love for people to write all the wlw & mlm ships they want that don’t already exist in canon. I’m doing that because I want queer people to be able to connect and know that when they see themselves in these characters, that they’re seeing them as I intended, too. That they aren’t the ones doing the translating, the way they have with every other piece of media.

But even if I didn’t do all those things, having my bi-protag only have female love interests in the first two books and only mention an interest in boys doesn’t make her any less bi when she does end up with a boy. Same thing with other bi or pan women or men who end up in same or other sex relationships. Their queerness exists regardless of their relationship status, because they exist regardless of it. But the revelation that Shiro was queer, no matter how sloppily handled, perhaps, given what the writers knew would happen to Shiro (and Adam) s7, could never be irresponsible. Thoughtless and arrogant, perhaps, but never irresponsible.

I only wish the creators had actually given a single flying shit about him.

#dragons gets salty #realize this reply probs wasn't ur intention and not saying it is but yeah #here it is #anonymous #thanks for asking #bi shiro

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