#Im sorry this is so cringey but I was sobbing w laughter so

[tehmoonofficial]

if someone actually DID kill reginald:

If it was Luther:  - Fucken traumatized ™️ - Goes to The Moon (ooh, aah) - Goes a lil bit crazy being all alone up there for years - Reginald decides "Get in loser, we're going Earth-saving" - Luther comes - Reggie says off-hand that the moon "mission" was a time-waster - Luther Loses It  (now a true crime miniseries on cable tv) Diego: - Vanyas book comes out - Wow omg you mean to tell me diego DOESNT read a book that he knows will upset him??? Self-care??? For real??? In THIS umbrella academy kid? It's more likely than you think. This boy can hold so much self-care. His mind is a TEMPLE - Flash forward to Eudora saying "We're OVER" with a dramatic ponytail flip and slamming her locker shut and saying she has to go to bio  - Well, says Diego, heartbroken over a Dora that isn't an explora, Time to Read that Book - Oh shit, says Diego, reading about how his dad wasn't only an asshat to him, He was a bad person to ALL of us - Diego as you can tell is a wannabe detective, and this is when I would break the fourth wall and say, No shit Sherlock - Diego gets to the Academy - Reginald is like "Number Two." and I pity Diego for being the butt of all potty humor jokes - Diego fucken kills him. k/o. He dead. Oof. Press x to pay disrespects and honk - Diego presses x at the funeral Allison: - Was trying to make a "Yo dad" joke but accidentally caught her reflection as she said "Yo dad is so ugly his death made the international news" Klaus: - There is no explanation for Klaus. He was en route to kill Reggie and then decided to get a waffle instead Five: - Tries to timetravel - Fails - MEGA punishments from Reggie - Obeys most of the time but like. If it's anything physical he defends himself - Tries to timetravel again but slightly to the left - Slightly to the left sends him to March 23rd 2019 - There's Reggie, being an Asshat ™️ - Reggie seems indifferent if not upset at Five - Bam! He dead Ben: - Decided that instead of calamari, kill-a-Reggie - He was seventeen, young and sweet - A dancing queen - He danced his way over to murdering Reggie. A disco icon. Vanya:  - One day played Despacito so well in her home on her violin that Reggie laid down and died Grace: - Made some killer pancakes - And I mean it - No really - Rip to food keeping you alive but poison is different Pogo: - The following segment has been translated into Pogo's native language. - Oooh ooh ahh ahh ooh aah ooh ooh ooh aah aah aaah ooh ooh ooh ooh aah

#I have achieved peak shitposting #Im sorry this is so cringey but I was sobbing w laughter so #q #tua #ua #umbrella academy #the umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #grace hargreeves #pogo hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #shitpost