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i8jisoo · 4 years

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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader

han x reader | part five of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy & child-birth

↬ notes; jisung lil qt jajajaja i cant i love him

u guys had been engaged for a few months n u two found out early on when u missed ur period

han was actually the one who figured it out n he dropped so many hints that u were pregnant

he ends up flat out telling u that ur pregnant

“okay, you’re pregnant. it’s obvious!! how can you not tell!!”

sure enough the test confirmed what jisung was thinking the whole time

he’s very attentive nd hes so attached to u

u assure him ur okay to go to the bathroom alone

or go out for work

or cook dinner by yourself

he thinks anything is not safe for you to do

i feel like han is the really worried caring person, constantly thinking of the worst things that could happen n hes so buried by the worrying

his day probably goes - wake up, eat breakfast with u, practice, come back for lunch, go back and finish up practice, cuddle with u, (sometimes make dinner), eat dinner, do whatever chores need to still be finished, (write lyrics when he can), get ready for bed with u, wait until u fall asleep, talk to the baby for about half an hour, then finally he will sleep (if he isn’t up working extra)

hes worn out :(

everybody is rly worried about him n he just tells them hes fine

han rants to u about the boys talking to him asking him about it and u cant really do much except sit there in silence and nod

one day its all just too much for him

he just bursts into tears

“am i doing this right?” 🥺

u assure him he’s doing everything well but he needs to slow down

“baby, you need to take some time for yourself. you don’t need to worry about me, i’m fine. you are not, you need to relax okay?”

“can we just lay down?” “of course we can.” :(

from now on he decides to just come back for dinner like he used to, instead just staying home on bad days for u

he likes to lay his head in ur lap n watch a movie or read a book or just sleep

he will do anything for u, whether it be making u disgusting combos of food or dealing with ur crying over sad movies

mmm he loooovveesss skinship now that u r pregnant

backhugs always

just imagine him with his hands encased around the lower part of ur bump, his head and hair brushing against ur neck and chin with his chin pressed against ur shoulder

he’ll talk to u sweet af

he mentions to u a lot how he wants to marry u already

u guys just delayed the wedding for awhile since u would be uncomfortable in a dress and heels + u would be busy with ur baby after

he sits around a lot doing things just to be around u but to be relaxed while doing so

lots of kisses on ur bump because its even better than ur cheeks and lips or forehead or hand

he does the whooollee nursery by himself

he likes to lay on the soft carpet in there

he’ll sometimes write lyrics in there

maybe make music n shit

he likes it when u sit in the chair thats there for when u wanna sit and feed or just sit there n rock so u can put them to sleep

unlike everyone else yall figure out the gender before the birth

a rly cute cake that’s got blue n pink marbled fondant to cover it

its hot as hell n jisung is just clinging to u while making rounds with u around the backyard

its super cute trust me

u guys have the iconic game where u guess the circumference of ur bump 😌

guess who guesses right !!

nobody other than yang jeongin king of measuring 😍

its time for u guys to cut the cake n u two are actually nervous for this part

u guys have like forty people at ur house just watching u and waiting for the cake to be cut

u cut into it n theres the blue cake that was underneath the frosting n fondant

“we’re having a boy!”

group huggg

u guys are actually great at hiding the pregnancy and were going to release pictures from the duration of it after ur baby was born

hes hoo vv ee rr in gg the last few weeks

u have this cute sized bump, it’s just absolutely adorable

its cute tho u have this lil waddle n he’ll help u with everything u need 🥺

his clothes are all u need

now u two also had to get induced like changbin and his now wife

hes just singin n hummin while he holds ur hands n lets u rest against him

he’ll get in his final words to his little boy before he’s here

jisung is so sure ur gonna break his hands while hes ur #1 fan in the delivery room but then he hears the cries and ur grip loosens around his hands

ur baby boy is just laying on ur chest before jisung is like

“he’s so cute.”

and ur just sniffling and jisung is like aww thats cute

then u look at him so sadly

“but i hurt ur hands” :(

he looks at u like 0_0 & just laughs

he gives his red hands a good look, they DO hurt but he doesnt rly care cause its already going away

“yea well i bet pushing this squishy baby out hurt more!!”

u nod and laugh, knowing hes right

the room is silent while u cuddle with ur brand new baby boy

“u think he’s gonna be a rap star just like me?”

“han, shut up.”

big pout :(

“fine, but i’m sure he’s gonna be a free style genius just like me.”

tons of pics and he’s blowing up everyones phones with pictures of ur little boy in his cot

+ bonus , jisung’s favorite part about your pregnancy was how you had grown so kind

he swore u were almost like candy rotting a tooth as u spoke to him

sure u had those days where u were irritated and upset

but u could be talked down in an instant with jisungs’ touch or voice, it somehow always worked to soothe u

he remembered this one time u were upset for whatever reason, but hey u were the pregnant one!!

u pouted and had ur brows furrowed nearly half the hour u were sitting on the sofa while jisung was working with papers spread on the coffee table

he let u come and sit next to him, soon letting u lay ur head down in his lap

his hand would brush against your bump, immediately seeing your face soften and a smile on your lips

there was the y/n he remembered waking up this morning

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extremelyblackandwhite · 4 years

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handmaid - 35

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap, guns

A/N: once again i am veryyyyyy late but i rly don’t wanna let go of this fanfic. hope you enjoy this chapter x

NEXT CHAPTER

The static sound of silence and the full view of darkness was what she woke up to. She wasn’t sure when she had lost conscience but at the moment the only thing she could see was the flickering light of a single lamp dangling overhead. Sometimes breaking through the silence, the irritating and yet somber noise of single drops of waters hitting the ground would make themselves heard leaving Y/N to feel like she was in imminent danger. As she tried to move, she noticed her ankle was tied to a shackle bolted to the ground which grounded her in the reality she had found herself in. However, instead of screaming or wondering what to do her first instinct was to lay her freed hands on top of her textile covered stomach trying to almost feel for the wellness of life growing inside her.

Taking a deep breathe, she looked around, trying to understand where she was yet the low light room didn’t give much. However, the existence of a staircase a few inches away from her led her to believe she found herself in a lower floor than regular, maybe some sort of basement. Wherever it was, it was quite clear to the young handmaid it was a hard enough place to escape. The sheer chilliness of the room made her scared enough for her own safety, wondering what plans Mr. Williams had for her and if she would ever return to her life. What she’d give to return to the life she had known, in that sheltered, clueless mindset everyone believed she have.

She sighed, biting onto her lip so she wouldn’t start crying. Her mind kept rushing, rushing too fast even with the events and stories told to her by the same man who now held her captive. She wondered what all of these years were, they surely weren’t truthful yet unlike lies they were palpable, palpable years of being placed right under everyone, hearing whispers of several other high society people pitying the orphan taken under a powerful’s family’s wing. What good was it to train someone to be submissive for the rest of her life for her safety? It was useless as she was standing idly at the feet of the same man who had brought her mother’s demise.

All those thoughts did no little to help to tears remain in their ducts and soon, a few of those were rolling down her cheeks hitting the ground along. Along with this, one of her hairpins fell to the ground, the sound removing her from her pitying state. She grabbed it from the floor, looking at the details through the veil of her teary eyes. It was a rather sharp hairpin, she herself had noticed that prior when the hairstylist had stuck it into her hair, lightly scratching her scalp.

Her eyes moved from the sharp edges to the shackle around her ankle and the key hole just a bit centred in the metal. Shaking like a leaf, she inserted the hairpin into the keyhole, shimmying it enough to cause the lock to give in, freeing her in the process. She found herself dumbfounded with it before quickly getting on her feet and climbing up the stairs to the door. Her hand gripped the door handle and pushed it down, however, the door proved to be locked. She sighed, looking around the room for any exits but there were no windows or any other doors. There was a drawer unit and her most hopeful self hoped there would be maybe a pair of spare keys.

Her hands rushed through the drawers which were mostly empty except the very last drawer where a small razor phone was. She looked around, ensuring her safety before she grabbed the phone with shaky hands, sighing in relief once she noticed one small bar on signal. Y/N quickly pressed the number on the phone, bringing her nails to her mouth as she waited and waited for the recipient to pick up but nothing came out of it.

- Please pick up ... I really need your help, I ... - she interrupted herself as she heard steps from above her. Quickly, she stuffed the phone back on drawer, rushing over to the chain which she shackled on her ankle again.

The door opened rather fast, beams and beams of light streaming through the badly light room which hurt her eyes. Two voices were distinct and her eyes were glued to the door as Mr. Williams walked in with a smug look, however, it wasn’t him that made her heart beat a bit faster, it was Sebastian coming from behind. His pristine ironed suit was completely wrinkled, his tie loose enough to dangle around his neck, heavily wrinkled forehead, a very far cry from the put together man he normally was.

- You have a visit, birdie. - he stopped Sebastian from taking any steps further towards her. Ignoring her, Mr. Williams turned to face the mob boss, taking a particular pleasure in seeing him in agony over his own actions. - Told you she was safe. All it takes is just a signature and you can give her a happy ending.

- No, before I sign anything you gotta assure me that once you have that document she can go. - Sebastian wasn’t stupid. If there was a spark of his father that lingered in this psyche it was a very analytical and rational thinking, troubleshooting if you’d like to call it. For all he knew, he would sign those papers and Williams would do whatever he pleased with Y/N. The mob boss just couldn’t risk it with her. No, her safety came first. - She leaves, I sign it.

- Why should I believe you won’t just back away once she leaves?

- You’ll just have to trust me.

- You better not play me. Even if she’s out of this room, I have my own ways of making sure she doesn’t leave. - he threw the key towards Sebastian who strutted towards Y/N. Her gown was severely messed, almost a symbol of what he had done to her. It was his fault she was all over this mess, he could’ve protected her, he promised her he would protect her and here she was, shackled to the ground. He could feel his heartbeat pounding against his skull as he uncuffed her, hands still shaking.

- You’re gonna run. Okay, angel? You’re gonna run, run as far and fast as you can and you won’t look back, okay? - Y/N’s eyes didn’t seem as worried as he would expect, instead they held this creased look as her hand moved to cup the side of his face, the other hand pushing a piece of his hair away from his forehead.

- What about you? - her eyes quickly moved from Williams to Sebastian.

- Angel, it’ll be okay. You gotta run, okay? Run. - he helped her onto her feet, expecting her to start running the moment she was up. Instead, she stood a few seconds immobile looking at him as her mind told her something bad was coming. She could just feel it, nevertheless the push on her back by Sebastian caused her to start running up the stairs. If only she could get to Dan or Mr. Forrest, they surely could help Sebastian.

Sebastian watched her leave, his heartbeat calming down as he realised she was safe. It didn’t matter what else would happen, she was safe and that was all that matter. Maybe Williams was right, maybe this wasn’t the life for him, a life with her sounded better, a life with her just sounded ... simpler, easier. Just him and her somewhere in a small town starting a family. With that thought in mind, he has handed the document and a black pen, his eyes wondering to the line asking for his signature. It almost seemed to mock him, mock him for not being able to keep a dynasty and her safe. With his gaze away from the paper, he quickly signed it, handing it over to the despicable man.

Mr. Williams smirked out of delight, eyes turning upwards to the door, giving one of his men the sort of look that led some doubt into his mind. This quickly got confirmed as the door was firmly locked, the darkness barely lit by the lamp on the ceiling involving the two of them.

- You probably don’t remember her mother, you were too young but god ... does she resemble her, those beautiful eyes, exactly the same. Sometimes the universe does give you a second shoot. Maybe I couldn’t be with the mother but I guess the daughter will do just fine. - he raised his arm towards the now ex mob boss, pointing his gun at him. - After all why should I only control one family when I could control two?

- YOU FUCKING BASTARD! - before he could make any moves towards him, a shot burst through his leg, weakening his stance sending him against the floor.

- Did you seriously think I would let you go on and marry her? Get her family support and gain your position back? I didn't peg you for a gullible one but I guess I was wrong. - he chuckled taking another shot to the same leg. - I will take such pleasure in raising your kid. I will raise your child to know just how weak you were, how you never rose up to the challenge. You will cease to exist, gone, just like things should be.

His mother used to talk to him about death when he was younger, how people just shouldn’t fear it and that when it comes everything is white. Sebastian had to disagree as once another bullet hit him, this time close to his stomach, he didn’t see white, no, he saw her. He saw her, the very first time he saw her on the floor, he saw her eyes peaking from the covers whenever she would sleep near him, her touch, and her laughter. In that moment all he wished was for her to be somehow outside the house, to be safe, far away from all of this. Maybe it was this hope, this conviction that kept him pulling on the single thread belonging to his life. He really hoped she was safe.

- Drop it. - a feminine voice boomed through the room. Mr. Williams furrowed his eyebrows turning around to a scenario he never expected to experience. Y/N had her arms forward, holding one of his guns and point it at it. - I said, drop it.

- Well, well ... - he lowered down sightly, placing the weapon on the floor before putting his hands up. - What are you gonna do, birdie? You’re gonna kill me?

- Shut up. - her hands were far from being stiff, shaking with the fear of the situation she was standing in but still firmly holding her revolver.

- What are you gonna do, birdie? You’re gonna shot me? For who? Him? Listen to me, Y/N, you and I are the same. We work hard and those above us mistreat us. Join me child, you will have the power you deserve. You won’t serve anyone else, no more hand me downs, no more screaming.

- I will not join you, you’re not powerful, you’re a coward. You’ll never be anything other than a coward even if you become the head of the family. You’re a coward, only cowards murder innocent, only cowards are so insecure in their own skin they would crave power. - she lowered her weapon. - I will not be the one to kill you.

- Well, isn’t th ... - he was interrupted by a gun shot echoing through the room sending him onto his knees leaving only a very weak Sebastian holding the same revolver he had placed on the ground.

- She won’t but I will. - she had never seen this side of him. He sounded cruel, cold yet she couldn’t blame it, what she could do was be worried about him as he held a weapon with one hand and the other hand held onto his gashing wound. - I will kill you, slowly, painfully. Before you’re dead, I will make sure all your stupid bastards are dead, all your men are dead, and I will have you front and centre to their deaths.

- Y/N .. - the man winced in pain from the gunshot, eyes looking up to the handmaid who had took a few steps back.

- Don’t you fucking say her name! - he shot him once more, no sign of mercy in his actions.

- Sebastian. - she called out to him, effectively gaining his attention. There were no words exchanged, she just looked at him, her lip trembling ... disappointment even.

There are moments in your life when you can chose to be the villain or the hero of your story. You can either live being the villain or others can tell your story and keep it on. Sebastian looked at her, from her eyes to her hands laying on top of her stomach. No, he wouldn’t be the villain, he wouldn’t be his father. He lowered his weapon, cuffing the man he most despised where he had just had the woman he loved captive.

Once that was done, whatever was left of the adrenaline keeping his wounds from hurting ran out and the pain overtook his muscles, sending him against the ground. Y/N rushed from her standing position, lowering herself to catch him before his head hit the ground. She pulled him over her lap, pushing his hair away from his face.

- C’mon, you have to get up. - she spoke softly but he could hear the underlying anxiousness. - You have to get up, we have to get out of here, okay? Just you and me.

- No, angel. - he reached to his pocket, her music box still there, and he placed it softly on her hand. - I don’t think I can. You can, you can go, take the next plane out of this place, go to France ...

- No. - she threw the box away. - You have to get up, you will get up, you’ll come with me to France. Just us, no one else.

- You deserve everything you’ve ever dreamed of.

- You are my dream.

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powerosewaterpuff · 3 years

Note

YO ITS ME AGAIN , so um , some fear gas content in your au please , like fear gased dick and big bro jason comfort him

i genuinely have no excuse as to why this is so late, but oh my god school has been up my ass lately and i haven’t been able to get back into the groove of writing so I took this as an opportunity to build on that a bit. so tysm for the prompt! i rlly rly appreciate it hehe and again this had no excuse to be as late as it was ngl. but again this is my robin reversal au with jason being the oldest (i cant think of a good early hero name though ugh!) and dick being younger than him so enjoy! also so dick isn’t officially robin (he only does that when jason dies), but the persona still exists and he will join on major missions but bruce still has him in training so casual patrols are a no unless they have no other option for back up yk?

tw// there’s a slight mention of needles! it’s super short but i wanna be on the safe side as well as mild mention of cuts and scratches!

it took prodding. begging. and absolutely pleading to get bruce to agree to let jason and dick patrol together on their own. dick and or robin was not a constant on patrols with jason and bruce, as bruce wanted to ensure dick was fully equppied and trained before rushing into the field. it didn’t matter how much dick whined, or complained, or did as twice as many flipping kicks in training, the answer was always a solid no unless supervised or it was necessary. so it was a massive stretch to assume that bruce would agree to let them patrol together. they were practically in shock as bruce gave a nod after a few moments of silence. he even surprised himself. maybe it was the puppy eyed stare (mostly dick), or the reassurances that alfred would be on their comms the entire time, or even the full promise by jason that everything would be alright, but something made bruce say yes. more field training would be more than beneficial for dick anyways, (and that bright smile his youngest gave him and tight squeeze of a hug from his eldest didn’t hurt either).

the only promise jason was going to be able to fulfil was that scarecrow was going to rue the fucking day he decided to rear his ugly face out of arkham. it didn’t matter that bruce was beating the living shit out of him, holding no punches. jason was still brimming with rage. he hopped rooftop to rooftop, whipping his head around wildly as he searched for a fear gassed blur of neon colours. he wished he had been fucking a nanosecond faster, to reach out and pull dick from the blast of fear gas that swam through his nose and induced him in this fucking crazed frenzy. dick had just taken off his mask, right as jason was telling him to wait before bruce gave them the signal, and now jason was scouring the streets of gotham trying to find his brother. (he was going to fucking break scarecrow’s face, if bruce hadn’t already)

jason’s life was never one attributed with luck, it seemed like every possible slot in his pile was stacked firmly against him. except for when out of the corner of his vision he saw a stumbling mesh of a yellow cape climb onto a roof to his left. jason, took this as his initiative to attempt to stealthily sneak up next to dick, using his dark costume as an advantage.

he crept gently over to the building as he saw dick stumble onto his knees and he winced a bit as blood began to trickle down dick’s leg from the gashes beginning to form. dick was looking around wildly, almost in a desperate search for something. now, jason would’ve waited. he should’ve waited. bruce has drilled into his mind that dealing with victims of fear gas had to be done as meticulously and carefully as possible. dick shouldn’t have been any different, jason was able to hold to hold himself back. or he should’ve been able to.

it wasn’t until he saw dick scream out for his mother in a guttural rasp and leap towards the railings of the rooftop, did jason feel his legs take off as he stretched out, and managed to secure an arm around dick firmly. dick screeched even louder, wailing for his mother as he dug his nails into jason’s arms. jason gritted his teeth tightly but held on, because fuck that hurt. dick struggled and pushed, stamping his foot against jason’s leg and attempting to squirm out of his hold. but jason held on.

jason began attempting to reason with dick, he leaned his head down and gently placed it against dick’s. he murmured a bunch of fucking nothing as dick sobbed his throat raw. jason leaned closer to dick’s ear as dick began to shake in fear rather than anger and shut his eyes tight.

“dick? it’s jason, it’s just me. we’re on some fucking rooftop somewhere, and you are safe. okay? i’m holding you, and you’re safe, nothing is going to happen. bruce is gonna be here soon, and everything is going to be okay. i know you’re seeing god knows what, but i’m gonna get you out of this alright? i-i promise.”

jason couldn’t say he wasn’t dumbfounded when dick stopped angrily squirming around and began pressing his face into jason’s chest, with fat tears streaming down his face as he let out a wet sob. jason hesitantly wrapped his slightly bleeding arms around dick even tighter, curling up around him as he tried to push out the sound of dick’s sobs. he was never exactly good at dealing with dicks tears, he hated them so fucking much.

it didn’t take long for batman to arrive on the scene, but it was a scene he didn’t exactly like. his oldest son was cradling his youngest son as he heaved and sobbed. bruce silently stalked over, tapping jason on the shoulder as he waved his hands quietly, indicating that he could take dick off of his hands. jason was, not surprisingly, hesitant. (that untrustful hesitance was something, no matter how far jason did with his recovery, would always exist. that need to protect himself, or anyone he could care about no matter who it was against. that deeply rooted and innate need for self preservation, it marred jason’s soul with broad brush strokes. fading, but never leaving. )

jason almost shook himself into realization, realizing it was batman who was standing in front of him, and not someone of possible harm. he slowly unfurled his arms around dick, but was once again left dumbfounded when dick gripped onto the back of his uniform even tighter. the once muffled sobs got louder as dick desperately tried to hold onto jason. jason felt bruce’s stare, fucking digging into him, but he found himself not caring as he quickly curled back around dick. rocking back and forth, not bothering with the useless platitudes but keeping a firm lock on the back of dick’s neck and his waist. he peered up at batman and caught his gaze, and with a hushed agreement, they nodded at each other.

jason looped his arms around dick’s legs, his face twisting into a deeply set frown as dick’s sobs began morphing into hacking coughs, harsh and volatile. he managed to get himself standing upright as he pressed a kiss onto dick’s tear stained check, whilst still rubbing his back. the pain of others always had physically manifestions on jason. he fucking hated it. his mother would be splayed out on the couch, muttering incoherent fucking nonsense and jason would feel bile sting at the back of his throat, almost tempting him to kneel over and lurch as his body shook violently. and now, hearing dick’s fragmented breaths and shaky sobs, he felt like doing just that.

it had taken an effort, to get jason and dick safely off of the roof, and at the end bruce opted into scooping jason up who had dick clinging onto him like a koala, and simply carrying them both into the batmobile. alfred has already been long informed of the situation and had been able to promptly prepare an antidote that would be ready for their arrival. that did not mean, of course, that dick was compliant in taking the antidote. it took shushing and holding and soft whispers to get him to stop squirming enough for the needle to safely prick through his skin. alfred had opted to use little superman stickers afterwards, they were always dick’s favourite.

it had taken a while for dick to become conscious again, as alfred had added just a touch of sedatives to the antidote. just to help dick relax. when he did wake up, the world around him looking slightly fuzzy around the corners, he found himself encased in two sets of arms. was he in bruce’s bed? dick attempted to sit up but was met with a hand in his face pushing him back down, he turned his head to the side to be met with hazy lime green eyes and a lazy smile.

“dickie, sleep. now. you’ll wake up bruce— dont look at me like that he’s a light sleeper and you fucking know it. now go back to sleep, we’ll talk in the morning.”

“I just woke up though, why am I going back to slee-.”

“sh. your voice is too loud this early in the morning.”

“you’re so annoyin—and get your hand off of me!”

“make me—slapping my hand isn’t doing anything, bud.”

“shut up. i didn’t ask.”

“you’re still not making me”

“i’ll kick you.”

“do it. c’mon. do it right now.”

“fine—stop pinching my cheeks, jay! ow, ow, ow.”

“stop kicking me, then i’ll stop pinching.”

“that’s not fair! who made you the king of rules, assh-.”

“boys.”

“sorry bruce.”

“i’m sorry, B.”

“i’ll whoop your ass tomorrow.”

“I’d like to see you try, you old sack of bones.”

and with a roll of the eyes, a feathery soft kiss was pressed into dick’s forehead. a soft smile curled at dicks lips afterwards, a warm fire nestling in his heart drove the lingering hazy darkness away. dick nuzzled closer into the bed sheets as the two sets of arms encasing him only held on tighter. all curled under the fluffy bedsheets as the morning sun began to rise on the horizon, seeping through the cracks of the dark curtains as a kaleidoscope of colours painted the early morning sky.

fin.

i rlly should’ve made this longer with a little more detail but i haven’t gotten back into the groove of creative writing yet so take this with a grain of salt lmao. but anywho tysm for reading and tysm for the prompt! again i rlly wanna get back into creative writing so hopefully i’ll written sm shit? hopefully? maybe? idk? but again tysm for reading and i am so so sorry for how long this took :]!!

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willykappymarnsmatts · 4 years

Text

Wrong Direction: Chapter 2 (K. Kapanen)

@moriellymakesmesoft

“I just got off the phone with Max,” it's been two weeks since I've moved into Will’s place, my stuff still in boxes all over the apartment.

“Oh?’ William responds, tossing me a smoothie from the fridge as we get ready to go to practice. I still go to sleep in tears and wake up with puffy eyes, but Willy makes me feel like everythings going to be okay, if not today then someday soon. “How is he?”

“Good,” I tell him, scratching at the back of my neck, refusing to look up at him knowing what comes next. “He asked me to come stay with him. Well, he didn't ask. He's kinda forcing me.”

“Oh,” Will says. He turns around and faces me with a look on his face of a mix of betrayal and hurt, and it makes me want to burst into tears. “Um, well, are you gonna go?”

“I have to, babe. He's my brother, and he said that if I don't come by myself he'll pack my things for me the next time he comes to Toronto.” I feel bad, but I do miss Max.

Willy just frowns at me. “When are you leaving?”

“Uh, tomorrow. He said he'd buy me a plane ticket.”

“To Montreal?! I could drive you!”

“I know, its okay. He’s the one paying so I don't really care honestly. Don't we have to get going?’

“Yeah,” he giggles, glancing at the watch on his wrist.

On our way to the arena, I take deep breaths to try to calm my racing heart and shaking hands. Seeing Kasperi this often still hurts just as bad as seeing him in bed with that girl. But the whole situation has given me a lot of inspiration for a new song that i've been working on, bouncing ideas off of Will day and night.

He notices my agitation and reaches over to grab my hand. “After this, you won't ever have to see him or me ever again.”

“Hey, don't say that,” I pout. “I'll be back and i'll move back in with you, if you let me, in a couple months. I just need a break from Toronto. Everything I know is laced with memories of him. I can't even enjoy your games because he's there.”

Will nods without looking away from the road. “You're always welcome at my place. We’re all still really pissed at him, you know. Mitch hasn't spoken to him since that night, and you know how Mitch is. Auston doesn't even look at him, and Zach’s only talking to him because he feels bad that everyone is making every effort to ignore him but me. The whole fucking team loves you, Y/N. Oh, and Derms took a slapshot at his ankle the other night and he had to sit out for an entire period.”

My eyes are brimmed with tears and I have to look up at the ceiling of the car to keep them from spilling over. “Can you let the guys know i'm leaving? I'll obviously talk to them, but I don't want to be the one to break the news to them.”

Will nods. “Of course.” he smiles at me then and looks away from the road for a split second to wipe away a tear.

•••

I sit in the third row to watch the boys’ practice and try to continue writing, but the yelling and pucks hitting the boards constantly is distracting, so eventually I give up and watch them skate. During a water break, I catch myself watching Kasperi. All he does is take a few deep breaths, but watching him like this, as if nothing ever happened, makes my heart shatter. Before I can look away, he looks up at me and I watch his entire face fall. He stares at me and I stare back. He studies me, as if to memorize me. I can't look away, and he refuses to skate away. He continues forward, until he's at the boards and we’re a few feet away from each other. Neither of us can pretend we weren't looking at each other. He stops, and so does my heart. And we just watch each other. Just stare. My heart is breaking with every moment that passes, and my stomach hurts, because he was my everything.

A whistle blows. Kasperi whips his head around. The sounds of the rink come back into my ears, and we’re both taken out of the world where we were the only two people who existed. He skates away, glancing back at me once before never looking back at me again.

•••

“Y/N,” Willy says as soon as I answer his facetime call. I've been in Montreal with Max for about two months and I released my song about a week ago. Wills is driving back from practice, which is when he gives me a rundown on how “incredible” he was and how he's gonna kick ass at the next game. But today he looks anything but confident, his forehead a mass of worry lines and his mouth turned down into a frown.

“Y/N, your song is saved on my playlist, and I got the aux this morning. After practice, it came on. Most of us were singing, and I glanced at Kap, and he was just sitting there in his stall. He wasn't moving. Just staring straight ahead.”

I sit up. “Woah, slow down. I thought Kasperi and I were finished.” When I moved away, after the day at the rink, Will told me that Kasperi stopped seeming to care. He was out with a different girl every two days, bringing random girls home every day of the weekend. It still hurts, but it hurt more to realize that our entire relationship meant nothing to him. But if Will is telling the truth, which I don't doubt he is, it makes everything a whole lot more confusing.

“I thought so too, but listen. I think that it was your voice at first, Y/N. He hasn't heard your voice in months. And then he heard the rest of the song, he listened without moving, and as soon as it ended he got up, in just his slides and shorts, and fucking left the room.”

I'm silent, letting Will talk. “The rest of us didn't know what to do, so I tried to follow him. I found him in the weights room, and he was in tears.” Will flicks on the turn signal and turns onto his street, then glances at his phone to see if he should continue the story. I nod at him, holding my breath to keep from breaking down at the thought of Kasperi.

“I went to him and sat with him, and he just cried. I haven't seen him cry since he thought I was getting promoted to the bigs and he wasn't. But he was sobbing. So I sat with him, and eventually he calmed down enough to choke out that he misses you. He told me the girls were a front, and that he hasn't been able to sleep ever since that night. And, Y/N, I dont think he's lying. His eyes always have huge bags under them and he's so shaky. So I asked him why he did it, but he didn't have an answer. He said he missed you and he felt like you didn't love him anymore because you were always out doing stuff for your album, but I told him that was bullshit and he said he knew it. He told me he can't breathe without, and that he hates that he hurt you. So I told him to talk to you, and he said he'd try to text you later today.”

“Damn,” I respond, not sure how to feel. “I want to love him again, but I don't know if I can trust him.”

“You don't have to. He knows he hurt you, and that he has to work to get you back, but I am asking you to please just try to talk to him, because fuck, Y/N, if there’s a such thing as soulmates, it’s you guys. You're both in so much pain. Take your time, keep your walls up, but just talk to him.”

“Okay. Okay, fine.”

“Thank you, beautiful best friend. I'm home now, so I'll call you back in a couple hours?”

“Yeah, that’s cool. See ya.”

He ends the call and I'm left in silence. Then my phone dings with a text notification in my hand, and my heart picks up speed. I know exactly who it is, and I don't want to look at it, not right away, so I throw it across the couch with a pillow on top of it.

I put my head in my hands and try to slow my speeding heart by taking a few deep breaths. “Fuck!” I yell, then silently thank Max for going out a few hours ago. I wipe my face with my hands and sit straight up.

I stare at the pillow my phone is sitting under, knowing without ever checking that there is a text from Kasperi Kapanen waiting for me. My phone dings again and my heart jumps. I stand up and rip my phone from under the pillow.

‘wrong direction huh’

‘i miss u’

I cover my mouth with my hand and my eyes brim with tears. I sit back slowly onto the couch and read over the messages two, three, four more times before unlocking my phone and tapping on the text bar.

‘Dang, how'd u know it was abt u?’

I smile slightly as I type out the message and hold my breath when I hit send. I don't have to wait even a second before the three bubbles come up on the screen.

‘no idea’

‘ig im just tht good’

I laugh and type out another response.

‘Imyt. How r u?’

I bite my lip when the text bubbles come up, and a few seconds later his response comes.

‘could be better tbh. can’t sleep @ the apt nymore so i spend the nites b4 games @ 1 of the guys places’

My breath catches at the words. Then another message pops up.

‘im so sry 4 everything’

I bite my lip and close my eyes, taking a breath.

‘Thx. I havent stopped thinking abt u’

‘me neither’

I take another deep breath. Kasperi was my favourite person, my person, for so long. It's scary how easily we can fall back into simple, comfortable conversation, as if nothing ever happened. So I decide to be straight up and honest with him, and if he really does still care about me, he’ll understand.

‘U broke me, Kasperi. I never thought tht u would hurt me, and u literally broke me. I miss u more than nything and it hurts so bad to b without u, but seeing u in bed with another girl, tht broke me. It felt like our whole relationship was built on lies, and tht u never actually cared abt me. So yeah, i cant stop thinking abt u, and i want to b able to love you again, but u broke my trust and idk if ill ever trust u like i did before.’

I hit send and feel like I'm going to be sick. Everything I type I’ve told Will and all the other guys, but after the day I left the apartment, I never spoke to Kasperi about anything. The three bubbles come up on the screen and I hold my breath, then they disappear. They come up and disappear a couple more times, until a message finally pops up on the screen.

‘i wish i could take back everything i ever did 2 hurt u, but ik its not tht ez. i rly do want 2 fix this, tho. would u b down to ft l8r?’

I can't breathe, but I manage to type out a response without screaming.

‘Sure. Just text me when ur ready’

I take a deep breath and click my phone off. I'm about to get up when my phone dings again. I glance at the message and it makes my chest feel like it's going to explode.

‘ok i will <3’

I smile down at the screen and go to plug in my phone so it's charged when Kasperi wants to call. I really don't know if I'll ever be able to trust him again, but the least I can do is give him a chance to apologize. He's already broken me so badly, even if he lets me down again nothing will compare to the amount of hurt I’ve already felt.

#kasperi kapanen #kasperi kapanen fic #kasperi kapanen/reader #kasperi kapanen imagine #william nylander #hockey imagine #toronto maple leafs fic #toronto maple leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #hockey fic #nhl #nhl hockey #nhl hockey fic #nhl hockey imagine #willykappymarnsmatts

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team-free-will-oneshots · 5 years

Text

Figure It Out

Title: Figure It Out (part seven of the ‘Buried Secrets’ series) Summary: Dean wants - nay, needs to apologise to you... right after you and Sam slept together, landing you in the midst of a messy situation and forcing you to make a painful decision. Loosely inspired by ‘Figure it Out’ by Eliott, highly recommend u give her a listen, she’s an incredible artist !!! and not nearly well-known enough !! Pairing: Sam x Reader, Dean x Reader (fem pronouns) Warnings: some swearing, !! a n g s t !! Word Count: 3.4k

note; ah, finally, the next part of the buried secrets series... even i don’t rly know what tense i’m writing in anymore just go with it pls lmao, hope u enjoy!!

Buried Secrets Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Your phone was ringing.

You blinked sluggishly as the familiar ringtone echoed throughout the room, and thrust your hand blindly over the nightstand until you finally snagged the device between your fingers. Still half asleep, you didn’t even glance at the caller ID before you held it up to your ear, making a groggy noise of assent.

“Y/N. It’s me. We need to talk.”

And just like that, you were wide awake, mouth falling open as you felt every muscle tense. The warm arm slung over your waist moved, the bed sheets rustling as Sam glanced up at you sleepily, tangled naked against you in the bed. He squinted at you in confusion, and you cleared your throat.

“D-Dean?” you stammered. “What do you want?”

Your words fell with a harsh edge, and you winced at the coldness in your tone. Dean was quiet for a moment, and Sam’s eyes next to you widened at the mention of his brother’s name. He shot you a quizzical glance, and you shook your head quickly, anxiety twisting in your stomach when Dean spoke again.

“Uh- look, Y/N, I fucked up. I really fucked up, and- and I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am… I need to talk to you in person,” he finished, and you clenched your jaw.

“And what makes you think I want to talk to you?” you shot back.

“Because you haven’t hung up,” he said simply. “Please, Y/N. I need to see you.”

Your teeth worried at your lower lip, and eventually you sighed, nodding even though he couldn’t see it. It was rare for you to hear such desperation in his voice, and if you were being honest with yourself, you wanted to get closure on this, too.

“Okay,” you sighed. “Okay, um… I’ll be there soon.”

You hung up before he had a chance to reply, and you tossed your phone haphazardly to the side as you collapsed back against the headboard, exhausted despite it already being noon - judging by the bright sunlight streaking through the window, at least.

“Dean?” Sam asked, voice thick with sleep as he raised an eyebrow. You nodded, pulling up the sheets to preserve your modesty as you swallowed, hard.

“Yeah. I think he- I think he wants to apologise,” you said quietly. Sam mulled over this for a moment, his eyes never leaving yours as he considered your words.

“Do you want to forgive him?” he asked eventually. You bit your lip as you shrugged.

“I want to. Of course I want to. But… do you think I should?” you asked, and Sam gave a sympathetic smile.

“That’s up to you, Y/N. You don’t have to decide now - just hear him out. No one’s expecting you to just let it go,” he said, and you exhaled slowly as you nodded. You felt his arm move from your stomach to prop himself up against the pillow, and your cheeks warmed as the events of last night seemed to come crashing down over you. Sam lowered his gaze, staring at the sheets so firmly you half wondered if he was counting every thread.

“So, if you… if you do decide to forgive him...” he began slowly. “Where does that leave us?”

You sighed, putting your face in your hands as you shook your head and drew your knees to your chest. “I don’t know,” you whispered. “I’m sorry, Sam, I’m so sorry. This is all such a mess, I don’t…”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Sam murmured, pushing himself upright and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You leaned gratefully against his bare chest, the heat of his body seeming to melt every worry from your mind as you lost yourself in his kind embrace. “Look, you don’t have to- to make any big decisions right now. And… if you wanna cool things down between us, I get it. And it’s okay,” he said, his thumb finding your chin and tilting up your reluctant gaze until it found his.

“I just- I don’t know where I stand, Sam. I care about him, of course I care about him, and I care about you, but I never got closure with him and then us happened and god, I’ve messed everything up, I-”

“Hey, you didn’t mess anything up,” Sam firmly countered. “Last night was… it was great. I- I had a great time, but let’s be honest, we were both a bit drunk. Maybe it’s for the best that we… ease off,” he suggested, though you could see the hurt hiding behind his gentle smile, and it only made your heart ache.

“I’m sorry, Sam,” you whispered, tears pricking at your eyes. “I-I need time to figure everything out. This is so…” You sighed heavily, and he cracked a reassuring smile.

“Complicated?” he offered, and you nodded glumly.

“Yeah,” you mumbled, and he rubbed your back soothingly.

“Well… you know I’m always here for you, right? Any way you need me - best friend or otherwise,” he reminded you, and you managed a tiny smile.

“How are you so perfect?” you whispered, and he chuckled, shaking his head sheepishly.

“I’m far from perfect, Y/N,” he muttered, but as you watched the glow of his tan skin beneath the brilliant sunlight, the understanding selflessness shadowing his hazel eyes, you found his words difficult to believe.

“Well… I guess we should get back,” you whispered. “Apparently, I have an apology to listen to.”

---

Dean paced.

The idea of sitting still and waiting was abhorrent to him - his mind was racing, mouth full of words he longed to spill, and so, he paced.

His footsteps thudded on the tiled floor of the bunker’s war room, and at the slightest hint of noise, his gaze was drawn upwards to the front door. Each time, he was disappointed; met only with the dulled sheen of metal. Each time, he clenched his jaw, and continued to walk.

He wanted to make this right - needed to make this right. After his… interaction with Amara, you were the only thing on his mind. He’d screwed up with you once, and he wasn’t about to make the same mistake again.

If she even wants to take you back, his brain whispered, and he shook the painful thoughts away despite the truth with which they rang. He couldn’t think about that, not yet, not now. Whether or not you wanted to be with him was irrelevant at the moment - he needed you to know how sorry he was, that he accepted you, that you belonged here, even if it wasn’t with him.

In fact, Dean found himself so engrossed in his own ponderings that he missed the door creaking open, missed the footsteps echoing on the staircase. He missed everything except for the sound of your voice, which had him flying around in an instant.

“Dean?”

He turned to see you standing tall, shoulders back and jaw tight as Sam stood somewhat defensively behind you. Dean felt his heart break at the guarded look in your eyes - or rather, at the fact that he was the one to put it there.

“Y/N,” he barely whispered, voice coming out hoarse. He swallowed, licking his lips and trying to moisten his dry mouth as he struggled to find the words. His eyes darted to Sam, and back to you.

“Do you mind if we talk? In private?” he asked eventually. You seemed to hesitate a moment, before sharing a silent exchange with Sam and nodding.

“Okay,” you sighed heavily, and Sam took his leave, disappearing down the corridor. You and Dean both watched him leave, and once the two of you had your privacy, turned back to one another.

“So.” Your voice was hard, expression careful as you studied Dean warily. He sighed, shoulders slumping, but he quickly straightened them and cleared his throat. This wasn’t about him - he didn’t want you feeling sorry for him, not right now.

“Y/N, I…” And just like that, every sorrowful speech he’d found himself practising over the past few days seemed to disintegrate, leaving him with nothing but a leaden tongue and a heart so heavy he wasn’t sure how it hadn’t fallen from his chest. He searched blindly for the right words, and in his frantic search found himself blurting the first thing that came to mind.

“I owe you five bucks,” he stammered. You blinked, startled. Whatever you’d been expecting to hear, it clearly wasn’t that.

“I- you- what?” you asked in surprise. Dean was surprised as you were to hear the words flee his lips, but his expression melted into one of nervous amusement as he chuckled, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

“I-uh…” He swallowed. “That night, before - well, everything… when we went for a walk, I… I said that if I ever met a witch who was good, then I’d owe you five bucks. Seems like I need to pay up,” he said. His smile was anxious, eyes creased in worry that he’d fucked up this, too - but his concerns were eased when he saw you biting back a smile.

“That all?” you asked, raising an eyebrow, and he shook his head fiercely.

“No, it’s- no. God, Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he choked out. “I was- I was angry. And I know that’s not an excuse, but it’s all I’ve got. I… I felt betrayed, but that was no reason to act like - well, like that. And the moment you were gone I regretted it. Seeing you cry, it…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “It was hell. And I wanted to reach out before, but Donna said to give you space, but then I was with Amara and-”

“Wait, you what?” you demanded angrily, and Dean fell silent, perplexed at your reaction.

“I- I went looking for Amara, and she-”

“Oh my god, Dean, are you stupid? You went looking for Amara on your own? What if something had happened to you?!” you said in outrage.

“Look, it all worked out, didn’t it? I’m fine!” he said, holding out his arms. He felt pleasantly surprised at the notion that you would have been at all concerned for his wellbeing - god knew he didn’t deserve your worry.

“Anyway, that’s beside the point - the point is, she made me realise that I couldn’t let you just- just keep thinking that I hate you. Because I don’t. I could never hate you, Y/N. And- and I’m so sorry that I could ever make you think that I did.”

You chewed your lower lip, eyes swimming with emotions that Dean couldn’t quite decipher. Eventually, you sighed.

“I owe you an apology, too,” you mumbled, and Dean’s eyebrows shot to his hairline. He shook his head furiously.

“No, Y/N, you absolutely do not-”

“Let me finish,” you interrupted, and Dean obediently fell quiet. You sighed again. “I shouldn’t have made that hex bag without asking you first. It wasn’t cool of me to take that choice away from you, even if I thought I was doing the right thing. And I’m sorry you had to find out about me the way you did. I was just… I was scared,” you admitted, and Dean’s face twisted in pain.

“That’s just it, Y/N. I don’t ever want you to feel scared around me, especially for being you. And- and I get that you were trying to help. I really do, and I appreciate that you care. Cared. Whatever. I guess I’m just… not that great at accepting help.” He chuckled dryly, eyes glued to the floor as the smile died on his lips. “But that doesn’t excuse what I did to you. I’ll spend as long as it takes making it up to you,” he vowed, his eyes finally rising to meet yours. A small, teary smile crossed your face.

“Thanks, Dean,” you whispered, and he opened his arms tentatively, looking at you questioningly. Your smile widened, and when you stepped into his arms, Dean felt complete for the first time since you’d left. You fit perfectly into his embrace, so soft and warm, and when his arms closed protectively around you, he found himself never wanting to let go. It felt so right - like the world could be falling apart around you, but so long as you had one another, everything would somehow work itself out. Even after all that had happened, the press of his body over yours still made your heart race, a pleasant thrill that you momentarily lost yourself in as your buried your face in his shoulder.

You pulled back after a long moment, and Dean cleared his throat. “Look… you have every right to say no to this, okay? But… I would really like to put this behind us and try to pick up where we left off, if that’s… if that’s something you’re open to.”

Your face fell, and Dean quickly backtracked. “Too soon. It’s okay, I get it,” he said quickly, but you shook your head.

“It’s not… well, it is, but… look, Dean. I- I want to make things right here. I really do. But I’ve spent the last week or so thinking that you hated my guts. I… I’ve lost my trust in you,” you admitted, voice tiny, and Dean’s heart broke. He swallowed down his own emotions, and he nodded.

“I get it,” he said quietly, but you weren’t finished.

“And even if we can build that back up again, it’s… things are really complicated,” you continued, and Dean sighed.

“I know - a hunter and a witch, not the most conventional, but-”

“No, no it’s not that,” you interrupted, sparing a glance down the empty corridor that Sam had disappeared down earlier. “Look, Dean, I like you. I do. I have for… for a long time. But… while Sam and I were away, we…” You swallowed hard, and Dean’s stomach dropped.

“You and- you and my brother?” he asked, face contorting as though he had just bitten into something sour. You gave a small nod.

“As much as I care about you - and I do, believe me, I do -, I care about Sam as well. We’ve cooled things down between us, but- but that doesn’t change the fact that I have feelings for him, as well. I just… I can’t make any decisions right now, Dean. I need time to work everything out, to build up our friendship again, to… to work out exactly what it is I feel. Because right now… everything just feels so messy, it’s like my head is so crowded and I just- I don’t know what to do,” you admitted. Dean smiled sympathetically.

“Hey, I get it. Well, not exactly, but- but I get that this is a tricky situation. You take as much time as you need to figure things out, okay? I’m not going anywhere,” he promised, but despite the good face he had plastered on, he couldn’t ignore the devastation weighing in his gut. He’d missed his chance. He’d gone and fucked it up, just like he fucked up everything. Of course you had turned to Sam - he hadn’t gone and blown up at you, had he?

And the worst part was, he couldn’t even be angry about it. The only person he could be angry with was himself - he could never deny you or his brother happiness, even if it left him heartbroken. Perhaps he deserved this - after all, wasn’t it the perfect punishment for his crime? You had moved on, and he had to step aside and deal with that on his own. You and Sam deserved one another - deserved to find happiness together, even at Dean’s expense. And he would never dare to step in the way of that. He’d already messed things up enough.

He wasn’t about to make that mistake again.

---

Your room was just as messy as you had left it, and so that night, you busied yourself with cleaning. Piles of clothes still littered your bed, untouched and collecting dust during your time away, weighing down the mattress springs with memories of an easier time. Each item you folded brought with it recollections of that night - desperately clawing through your wardrobe in search of an outfit, only to have all thoughts of clothes fleeing your mind the moment Dean’s eyes fell on you… you remembered his smile, the light in his eyes that you hadn’t seen… ever. How safe you felt with him, the gentle brush of his lips on your own... It had only been a week, but it felt so much longer.

And with memories of yours and Dean’s date came those of yours and Sam’s - your little black dress, the buzz of the alcohol, of his mouth on yours, hot and passionate, erasing any other thoughts from your mind and distracting you from the pain of Dean’s rejection still burning in your chest.

Sighing, you fell back onto your bed, soft flannels pressing in at your sides as you stared tiredly at the roof. What a mess you’d found yourself in - you wished you could go back. Back to a time when everything was easier - when you didn’t have to somehow untangle the complicated feelings inside you. When it was just you, Sam and Dean - when the idea of being with either of them was just a distant dream, and not a crushing burden of a decision.

You thought of Sam’s faltering smile if you chose Dean, of the hardness in Dean’s eyes if you chose Sam… of the pain in both of their faces, and in your own heart, if you chose neither of them. No matter which way you spun it, someone was going to get hurt.

And you had to decide who.

The growling of your stomach drew you from your thoughts, and you begrudgingly got to your feet and headed towards the kitchen to throw together something for dinner. You were halted just outside the door when you heard Sam and Dean quietly speaking inside, paired with the clinking of cutlery and the splashes of water as someone washed up.

“....thought you said there was nothing between you two,” Dean was saying casually, and you heard Sam’s muffled sigh.

“Well, I didn’t think it was a two-way street,” he confessed. “Besides, once you sent her packing… can you really blame her for coming to me?”

A pause. Then a heavy sigh.

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re right. And now it seems like we’re all stuck between a rock and a hard place,” Dean scoffed.

“Yeah. Feelings for both of us, huh? What are we s’posed to do with that?” Sam muttered. Dean sighed again.

“We let her make her choice. And then, we have to live with it,” he said simply. Another pause, a sullen silence broken only by the clinking of dishes in the sink. You heard the gurgle of water as someone pulled the plug, and you pictured the water draining away, leaving a few stray soap suds behind... and suddenly, you were back there with Dean, his threaded through your wet hair as he crushed his lips to yours...

“I just… I wish she’d get it over with,” Sam admitted, his voice dragging you from your thoughts.

“Yeah, me too.”

“But you know what it’ll mean when she does, right?” Sam pressed. “One of us is gonna have to watch her with the other.”

“You think I don’t know that, Sam?” Dean snapped. “That’s all I’ve thought about since she said…” Dean trailed off, and you could just picture him shaking his head to rid himself of the thoughts. “Doesn’t matter. It’s her choice. End of story. As long as she’s happy, I’m happy,” Dean said firmly. “Even if she happens to choose the less handsome Winchester,” he added cheekily, and you could almost hear Sam rolling his eyes, followed by the quick tussle between the two brothers.

“Yeah… yeah, I guess you’re right,” Sam admitted eventually. You heard footsteps approaching the door, but quickly darted back to your room before they could see you - the grumbling of your stomach had passed, and now you felt nauseous as opposed to hungry. Not for the first time, you wished you weren’t a witch - then none of this would have happened.

You felt what you chalked up to another stress headache blooming in your temples, and you winced, sitting back on your bed and resting your head in your hands. You couldn’t let this decision hang over you forever - the longer you waited, the longer they were tormented with not knowing. And they deserved an answer - deserved to know how you felt.

If only you knew how that was.

__________

Read Part Eight Here!

Buried Secrets tags: @clarinette07 @demonsofhunting @carryon-doctor-lock @coupleofgoons @colie87 @non-exclusive-trash @txnii-hxrdyy @spaghettiwoes @supersouthy @bee-happy-buzz-on @lolmkaythen @defenderrosetyler @sammykb1994 @cocklesbelli @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @witch-of-letters @lilasundari @aquaastrid @deathofmissjackson @officialmarvelwhore @imdoingathingmom @thebookisbtr @sideblogsmutting

Forever tags: @babygirloreo @calaofnoldor @lmpala97 @sebastianshoe @81mysteriouslyme @castieliswatchingoverme @kina666 @liviaolivia @simplyxparker @helpmeluci @demonsofhunting @bee-happy-buzz-on @lilulo-12

Dean tags: @polina-93 @justagirlinafandomworld @coupleofgoons @justanotherwinchester

Sam tags: @sammys-dimpless

as always, let me know if u wanna be added to any tag lists !!

135 notes · View notes

morkeus · 6 years

Text

return on capital employed | l. mark

Mark Lee | 2.8K In which following your father for his business functions prepares you for more than just inheriting the company.

a/n: this was requested by @keemburley !! sorry it took so long. i’m not sure how to feel about this? i kinda rushed it a little because i’m still in the midst of exams but i needed a break. i’ll be writing more after next week cos i’ll be out of school finally :”) it’s not rly a story i’m proud of but i hope you like it :^)

p.s. not proofread!!

AM 8:49

You loved your father. You really did. But whenever you were dragged to events by your father, you wished you had not loved him so much. Being a businessman, your father was constantly held down by work. However, he still made an effort to spend time with you, which was why you were made to follow him for business functions whenever you could. And that was exactly why you were sitting down watching your father and his business associates play golf on a Saturday morning when you could have been catching up on sleep.

While you burnt your weekdays attending lectures and tutorials in preparation of inheriting your father’s business, your weekends were spent following your father orientating yourself to the life that awaited you after university. It was difficult for you to appreciate a bunch of men hitting balls with sticks, trying to get them into holes. But the smile on your father’s face whenever he met your eyes made it a little more bearable.

Speaking of bearable, another reason why you found it within you to drag yourself out of bed every Saturday morning was your newly discovered eye candy who had just walked onto the course with a bunch of other men. Just a few weeks before, the new target of your admiration came waltzing in, his lean figure contrasting to the beer bellies the other businessmen had. His face was mostly covered by a cap all the time but from the hours of starring, you managed to catch multiple glimpses of his face and boy, was he a good-looking one. You could not really discern how old he was but considering the fact that he was playing golf instead of something like basketball, you guessed that he was probably slightly older than you.

Somehow, he made the game look more interesting and your gaze remained transfixed on his form, clad in some olive polo shirt and white slacks. He was always so focused on the game with his eyes squinting under the hot sun. Fortunately, or unfortunately, he was always immersed in the game and never spared you a glance, allowing you to secretly admire him. However, you realised that he was approaching you, his eyes fixed on you for the first time since he started playing golf on Saturday mornings.

“Ah Mr. Lee, this is my daughter. This is Mr. Lee and his son, Mark. We’re in the midst of discussing a possible merger between the two companies so you’ll be seeing them a lot more often.” While you were busy admiring the boy, whose name you now know – Mark, your father had ended the game and made his way over to you along with the Lees. You snapped out of your thoughts and introduced yourself to the father and son, feigning confidence. When your eyes met Mark’s, you almost got lost in them if not for the playful wink he gave you, hinting that he was well aware of your very blatant staring. Trembling slightly, you reached out to shake his outstretched hand as the grin on his face grew wider at your embarrassment. And that concluded your first meeting with Mark.

AM 11:42

“Y/N, I hope you've dressed appropriately!! The Lees are arriving soon,” Your mother shouted from the living room, drawing your attention from your phone. Your father was not kidding when he said that you would be seeing the Lees often because other than the usual Saturday morning golf sessions, your father invited the Lees over for meals often. Over the meals shared, you and Mark had gotten to know each other and even exchanged numbers. Turns out, he had also taken Business Management at the same university and was four years your senior. That meant that you turned to him whenever you had difficulty understanding certain concepts.

Just the night before, you were texting him some questions and he offered to help you with your essay after lunch. To say you had a crush on the boy was an understatement. You admired Mark. He was smart, good at golf (according to your father), filial and patient with you. Despite running a business with his father, he still took time out of his busy schedule to reply your lengthy messages, most of which was you whining about having to inherit the business from your father. He had somehow become this role model to you and he was basically everything your parents wanted you to be.

Despite it not being working hours, the fathers were constantly talking about business and the current financial situation, with Mark adding a comment once in a while. Sure, you had an interest in business and it was only a matter of time when you would join your father's company. However, that did not stop you from dozing off, embracing the food coma.

"Psst, munchkin..." just before your face hit the dining table, Mark, who sat beside you, started nudging you in the rib.

"Psst... wake up sleepyhead. You're going to hurt your neck like that," Mark whispered to you, drowning out the boring conversation your fathers were having. "How about this, let's take a shot every time one of them says the word "money"?"

That was the thing about Mark - despite being a good four years older than you, he still made an effort to connect with you, not behaving like the other snobby children of your father's business associates. His jokes were mostly business related or just terrible puns but you still appreciated his attempts to make you smile during the boring meetings your father dragged you to.

Turning around, you joked, "Gosh, it's too early for alco-" Your voice was stuck in your throat as you looked at his face. The playful grin on his face made him seem like a normal twenty-something year old, without the weight of a multinational company on his shoulders. You knew that Mark was attractive since the first day you met him but recently, there was something about the curve of his lips and the glimmer in his eyes that seemed to light up the whole world. As cheesy as it sounded, you never wanted to see the light in his eyes dim.

PM 3:27

Finishing your last lecture for the day, you made your way over to Lee Corporation to meet your father and the Lees for another discussion regarding the partnership between the two companies. With the details of the partnership being ironed out, the frequency of meetings between your father and the Lees increased. Thankfully, your lectures usually crashed with most of the meetings, sparing you from the agony. It had been more than a week since the last time you met the Lees.

Mark was getting busier because of the partnership and even though you missed his presence, you could not bring yourself to disturb him with questions you could have simply asked your classmates. Unbeknownst to you, your lack of texts made Mark think that he was of no help to you and that perhaps you were not interested in him.

For some odd reason, you started to feel nervous as you watched the numbers of the elevator increase. You and Mark were relatively close but you could not help but fiddle with your fingers, conjuring different conversations starters just in case it became awkward between the two of you.

"Good afternoon, CEO Mark Lee Min-Hyung," you teased as you pushed the large mahogany doors of his office.

You were not sure how you were expecting Mark respond but his response was definitely not one of the scenarios that played out in your head.

"Mrs. Kim, I thought I said- Oh? Y/N!" You watched the furrow between his brows disappear as the frown on his face morphed into a smile. Once again, you were charmed by the boy and it was almost as if you were standing before your crush in kindergarten.

"Yeah, good mor-afternoon, I'm an hour early," you remained rooted right in front of the doors not sure how to human.

Sensing your hesitation, Mark got up from his seat and approached your frozen figure. You could have blamed the five-hour lecture you had today for the short-circuiting of your brain but you were sure it was the way that Mark looked as removed his watch before making his way to you that caused you to become speechless.

"You alright, Munchkin? I haven't seen you in a while. For a moment, I thought you found younger friends to hang out with," the adoration in his voice along with his hand gently patting your head made you melt instantly. But you did not fail to hear the slight insecurity despite his joking tone.

Finding your voice, you reasoned, "Of course not! I just didn't want to disturb you. I'm sure our fathers are doing enough of that..."

Seeing you before him after more than a week, so understanding and so bashful made Mark's heart beat faster than he would have liked to admit. When he had joined the company, he knew that any chance of finding a girl would be difficult and that he would have to set that aside until he proved to his father that he was ready to run the business by himself. He even told himself that he would probably be thankful if his parents found him a girl instead so that he could focus on running the business.

But there you were. Some girl who spent every Saturday morning watching him play golf with bright eyes, becoming his daily source of entertainment with your incessant whining and his confidant whenever the weight of his parents' expectations wore him down. You were younger than him and maybe not the best advisor - you once told him to just imagine that every person around him was a potato to help with the nerves before a big presentation to investors. However, that did not stop the soft hums you gave in response to his problems from bringing him comfort. Who would have guessed that the next in line for Lee Corporation needed to call a university student the night before his presentations to ease the nerves?

PM 8:53

If you knew that the meeting was going to last the entire evening, you definitely would have packed some granola bars to snack on. What was supposed to have been a thirty-minute update on the marketing plan had somehow turned into hours of intense discussion. You tried your best to stay focused but the grumbling of your stomach distracted you and apparently, stole Mark's attention away from the big numbers leaving his father’s mouth.

“Dad, Uncle, it’s getting late. Why don’t we get some rest tonight and continue this meeting tomorrow?” Mark suggested, winking at you. At times like these, you were not sure how Mark viewed you. He made it seem so normal for him to wink at you but goodness, the things it did to your heart were definitely not normal.

Your fathers left the office building chatting about the upcoming gala that some rival company was having, leaving you and Mark in the office. You were about to follow suit when your stomach decided to make it clear that the last meal you had was more than eight hours ago. This time, you were sure Mark had heard it loud and clear.

Placing a hand on the small of your back, Mark led you out of his office, “Come on, munchkin, let’s get some dinner and you could ask me two weeks’ worth of questions.”

Sure, you had your fair share of experiences with boys but somehow, Mark was so confusing. One moment he would be treating you like a child and ruffling your hair but there were also little intimate moments when you swore that the look he gave you meant something more.

The entire car ride to the burger joint consisted of Mark complaining about his week and how stressed he was. Normally, you would have responded with more than just occasional hums but Mark was being Mark. Frustrating Mark. He was constantly turning to make eye contact as if you were going to disappear, looking so Mark. The way he stuttered occasionally contrasted so greatly to the professional front he put on in front of your fathers. It made you feel special that he decided to put his guard down around you. While he was talking, he left his hand on your thigh, tightening his grip whenever another car got too near to his. Stupid Mark was making you feel things and you were not sure if he was willing to catch you if you were to fall.

The both of you entered a nearly empty burger joint and settled in one of the booths near the back. Mark definitely stood out, wearing a suit in a burger joint at 9:34PM. It was the new burger joint you casually brought up during one of your conversations with Mark. You could not tell if it was intentional and that he picked this place because you mentioned that you wanted to try it out or that it was a complete coincidence. Well, your suspicions were confirmed when he returned with two burgers and the strawberry milkshake you were raving about to him.

“One burger meal and a strawberry milkshake for the Princess,” Mark winked, adding a nickname for you. He had this habit of winking at you and even after knowing him for more than a month, the butterflies in your stomach never failed to do some somersaults and the blood vessels in your cheeks would dilate, dusting your cheeks pink. Despite the availability of seats across you, Mark decided to squeeze next to you, placing his arm around the back of your seat.

Recovering quickly from your embarrassment, you decided to clarify some doubts you had regarding your latest paper, “Mark, I still can’t understand what exactly return on capital employed is? What’s the point of it?”

“It’s basically what it is – the returns of an investment compared to the capital employed,” Mark explained. “No, this is probably why you didn’t come to me for help for so long.”

Chewing his lips in concentration, Mark tried to think of the way to simplify the concept to you, “Ok, so it’s a financial ratio to assess the profitability of an investment. Let’s say before spending time with you and treating you to this very extravagant meal, I need to think of what I get in return and consider the profits from this investment I’m making.”

Jokingly, you responded, “I would consider this a pretty darn good investment. You get my everlasting gratitude for helping this poor soul!”

Turning his body to face you, he looked you straight in the eyes. His face was so close to yours you could practically count the number of lashes he had. You were not sure how but Mark had evolved into someone you trusted, someone you looked to when life got a little too tough - the one who made you feel like you could do anything.

Breaking the silence, Mark breathed, “Well, I was hoping to get your love in return.”

PM 10:17

“Munchkin?” Mark called out to you as he entered his penthouse. With your back facing him and headphones on, you did not notice him entering the house as you typed away on your computer, preparing the financial report your father wanted in preparation for another investment he wanted to make.

Sneaking up to you, Mark wrapped his arms around you, scaring the daylights out of you. You tensed up but upon realising that it was just Mark, you relaxed instantly, basking in the embrace of your boyfriend. After his very unconventional profession of love, who could reject such a sweetheart? The three months of being together had been absolutely blissful except for the teasing the both of you had to put up with from your fathers during business meetings. Of course, golf Saturdays were your favourite now because you could openly stare at Mark. However, now that he was dating you, he definitely had to purposely lose to your father once in a while to appease him.

“Happy third monthsary, Munchkin,” he whispered, slipping a glimmering necklace around your neck. The heart-shaped pendant sat gently on your neck with both of your initials reflecting light. It was almost as beautiful as Mark’s eyes whenever you gazed into them.

“Mark, you didn’t have to! It must have been so expensive,” you whined standing up to hug him.

With his arms still wrapped around you and face nuzzled in your shoulder, Mark commented, “I’m not investing capital without expecting anything in return.”

You sighed. Mark was such a nerd and he always found some way to bring business into your conversations, reasoning that it was his responsibility to ensure that you scored straight As. Well, this big nerd was yours now. Despite his teasing, you could tell from the way that he tightened his arms around you that he really loved you.

Deciding to humour him, you whispered, “Well, Mark, you get my entire heart in return.”

#mark #morkeus #nct mark #nct #nct 127 #nct 127 mark #mark scenario #nct mark scenario #mark fluff #nct mark fluff #nct scenario #mark scenarios #nct mark scenarios #nct dream scenarios #nct 127 scenario #nct dream mark #w: return on capital employed

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smorebin · 6 years

Text

S/S to DAY6 seeing a cute person and deciding to volunteer at the daycare they work at

Anon asked: DAY6 scenario of meeting a cute girl from church & getting close to her by joining the baby daycare & watching her take care of the babies rly well? heheh thank you <33

Notes: I made two adjustments to the ask if that’s okay! I changed it to a gender neutral pronoun because I like to include everyone in my writing when I can, and I don’t know the religions of all the members so I wrote according to the religions that I was aware of! Still, I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!!!

(wow he looks cute here... UR NOT EVEN MY BIAS JAE STOP)

Jae:

Jae would be hella shy 24/7 around them, especially if he just saw them like sitting in a pew and found out from a friend that they worked at the church’s daycare. Aside from volunteering at the daycare to get closer to them, he would actually realize how much he loved hanging out and playing with the kids.

He was too busy focusing on his fingers hitting chords and strumming against the acoustic guitar strings as the little kids sat around him in a circle singing “Itsy Bitsy Spider” to notice that you had stopped cleaning the mess the preschoolers had made from an afternoon snack. Even if he was singing a childish song, you wouldn’t be able to tell with the way his raspy voice complimented the rather high key. When he finished the song and the children finished clapping and shouting at how well “Jae-Jae” had done, he looked up to see you smiling and applauding him as well. He had to duck his head as he let a blush creep up his cheeks.

Children’s parents had started to show up around 5 pm to pick up their little ones and as he was putting his guitar back in the case he overheard a conversation that you were having with one of the parents.

“It’s so nice to see your boyfriend come in to play the guitar for the children.” The mother smiled at you.

You responded with a slightly blush and a shake of the head. People saw you as his significant other? Do we look good together? Do they like me back? A million thoughts swarmed his mind as he lowered his head to hide his blush as he zipped up the guitar case.

After all the kiddos had gone he was waiting for you to lock the daycare doors as he sat on a railing. Once you were done and appeared by his side, before you could say goodbye he worked up an extra ounce of courage. “Do you want to have dinner with me? There’s this great little shop up on the corner.” to which you gladly accepted.

(what kinda dork is this???)

Sungjin:

Someone who would totally try to act cool and suave around them and totally fail. But in all honesty the kids loved him so he ended up coming on days even when the person he was crushing on wasn’t working in the daycare because he also really liked working with the kids as well. They’ve basically adopted him and the person he is crushing on at this point. They are their daycare “parents”.

Let’s just say Sungjin’s brightest moments weren’t inside the daycare. From letting the young girls put his hair in pigtails and the boys to climb on his shoulders and arms as if he was a living jungle-gym. Then again who could blame him when he was trying to impress you with how good he was with kids. Though, while you were trying to get them to calm down for nap time (with the few older kids helping out) he was too busy play wrestling the five year olds and winding them up. The only time that they would actually tend to behave when Sungjin was around was when he pulled out his guitar and played a soft lullaby for them to fall asleep to.

It was a rare occasion when Sungjin got you to join in on his antics with the children. It was recess time and he was running around in a game of tag with a young group of boys and girls when he suddenly ran up behind you.

“TAG YOUR IT” He said, voice slightly raised, in your ear. Before you could turn around he was already halfway across the field with a bunch of preschoolers on his heels. With a rather competitive spirit, you couldn’t just let him get away with that, could you? So you raced out into the field and beelined towards Sungjin in an attempt to get him back.

The children were running around your feet, happy that you were playing along until you suddenly tripped, before you could land in the mud you felt a strong grip around your waist and looked up to see Sungjin’s concerned face above your own. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to get you hurt.”

When you nodded and hid your blush, he smiled. “Let me take you out to lunch to make up for it one day. I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”

Brian:

Actually didn’t decide to work in the daycare but because there was an afterschool academy in the same complex, he decided to get a job there. He saw it as a double win because one, it wasn’t volunteer work and he got payed. And two, he got to see you every day. So when he walked out to have lunch and he saw you, he ended up spending his lunch in the daycare to which the kids got him to play the piano and sing before he had to go back to work.

He had just started his “lunch” break when he walked out of the door he saw you standing in the hallway struggling to carry in bags of what appeared to be crackers and juice boxes. Before you could topple over and drop all that you were carrying, he appeared in front of you, putting his hands under the boxes and urging you to hand them off to him. “Do you have a lot of kids in the center today?” He asked as you gave a sigh of relief from the weight lifting off your shoulders.

Giving a small hum you asked him about how it was at the academy and he responded with a slow before you went to open the door as he helped you carry the snacks inside. Upon seeing Brian, the kid’s surrounded his feet but when you told them off, they backed away slightly to avoid tripping him.

Once the food was set down he helped you pass out the snacks anf sat with you at a regular sized desk once everyone was fed.

“You know, you should really eat more than a protein bar and green tea, Brian.” You looked up at him from the salad and sandwhich sitting infront of you.

“I’m fine, plus, it keeps my energy up.” He waved the protein bar wrapper infront of your face.

“Please eat, I’m not even that hungry today.” You pushed a half of your sandwhich towards him. “If not I’m forcing you to go to dinner with me, that way I know you’re eating.” Brian had become a close companion since he started working at the academy.

“I’ll guess I have to skip out on the lunch today.” He laughed and threw the snack wrapper into the trash. With a groan he stood up and pushed in the chair before turning to the door. “Don’t forget about that dinner you promised me, Y/N!” He gave off in a sing song voice before saying goodbye to the kids and shutting the door behind him.

(people need to stop sleeping on a smile as bright at the sun smh)

Wonpil:

The exact opposite of Sungjin lmao. Honestly always questioning himself on whether or not he looks or sounds super dorky in front of his crush when in reality is the type to make them blush 24/7 without even realizing it. Loves the kids, the kids love him back. They all refuse to go to sleep unless he is there singing a lullaby.

It was one of the few days that Wonpil wasn’t able to come in and help around the daycare which was rather odd because whenever you had a shift he asked to pick one up at the same time. Something about prior engagements.

It was right around 1 in the afternoon which meant it was time for the kids to take a nap, except all of them were fighting it because “Wonpilie-hyung” and “Wonpilie-oppa” wasn’t there to sing them a song before they could drift off into dream land. After fighting them for the past hour, you went to your last resort which was to call Wonpil in hopes that he would be free enough to sing the children to sleep for few minutes.

Afraid that he wouldn’t even pick up you were surprised that he was on the line after the second ring. “Hey Y/N. Is everything okay, did the other volunteer not come in?” His voice was straining to speak over the obvious background noise that sounded like rather inconsistent bangs to a bass drum and torturous sliding of keys on a piano.

“Ummmm, it sounds like you are busy, maybe I shouldn’t have called.” You were already second-guessing yourself and started to pull the phone away from your ear, ready to hang up, sighing in the fact that you would have to find another way to make the children fall asleep.

“No-no-no, let me just get to a quiet hallway or something.” He quickly cut your small rant off, and soon the strident noises were no longer heard. “Is there something wrong?” His voice came through the phone cracked but still lyrical as ever.

“Ummm.” You hesitated. “I’m having trouble getting the kids to sleep and I was wondering if you could maybe, sorta…”

“Of course I’ll sing them a song Y/N.” You could practically see the beam cross his lips. “You should’ve just asked.”

The children were finally asleep and you were out in the hall in order to no disturb them. “Thank you so much for helping me get them asleep, I know you weren’t exactly planning on having to deal with them today. I swear your voice is the most soothing thing to them.” You smiled. The next thing you knew, a blush was rising through your neck to your temples.

“Is it soothing and sweet to you?” When there was no response on his side he quickly attempted to cover it. “Was that way too cheesy?”

Finally gaining your bearings you smiled. “No, I like hearing your voice everyday.”

(y’all he’s so cute how in el mundo is this possible?!?!?!?!?!?!)

Dowoon:

Ummm he is still a child. Lol, no honestly when he first came in to volunteer, all the kids were slightly scared of him because of how deep his voice was. But soon enough he was the one that they would ask to do weird voice impressions or act like a reporter and a character in a game that they were playing. ULTIMATE KING OF PLAYING HOUSE. But suddenly gets super shy and his voice cracks when the kids ask his crush to play house with them and make Dowoon and them pretend as if they were married. If only he knew how much they were also screaming on the inside.

It was a Thursday night and a couple parents had called saying they had to work a little bit late so you and Dowoon had agreed to keep the daycare open until the last child had left with a familiar face. As a way to pass time for the tiring kids, you both had agreed play a small game of house and the first thing the young matchmakers had done was place you and Dowoon in a VERY domestic relationship.

In order to act out the fantasies of the young ones, you and Dowoon pretended to play the part of husband and wife while they ordered both of you around as if they were directors to a broadway play. Everything had gone as it would have: the usual fight over something petty, the lovely ‘makeup’ hug, cooking dinner together, pretending to eat the said (plastic) dinner; that was until the mischievous kids decided to take a different route. They ran up to Dowoon and you could see the blush rise to his ears despite the low lighting. He promptly shook his head and the children giggled before nodding their heads vigorously. Which he vigorously shook his head even harder. At this point you were curious about what the conversation had been about but before you could ask, the children’s parents came walking through the door and you and Dowoon were forced to lift yourself off your haunches to properly greet the adults.

Once the children and parents were gone, you were finishing cleaning the last of the day’s mess up with the help of Dowoon when the previous sight appeared in the back of your mind.

Bending down to place a toy into its proper bin you called out Dowoon’s name which he responded with a small sound of acknowledgement. Taking it as a sign to continue, you asked him about a conversation with the young sister and brother duo from before. Without a response you figured he wasn’t going to answer but when you stood up and turned around, you were met with Dowoon’s lips meeting your cheek, before quickly stepping away.

“They told me to kiss you but I wasn’t going to do it infront of the children.” He mumbled under his breath before he went back to sweeping the floor for any crumbs.

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rapmonphile · 7 years

Note

HALLO! can i request a reaction where you fight with bts and he say something hurtful but with fluffy ending please :)

hello! thanks for your request, i enjoyed this a lot and i’m rly sorry this took so long,, i’m a slow writer

Jin

“Well. If that’s how you really feel, then maybe we need to take a break from each other.”

You couldn’t fucking believe it. Was he really saying what you thought he was?

Your head began to spin and you could feel yourself starting to panic. You needed to get out of there. You grabbed your keys and a jacket and ran out of your apartment as fast as your legs would carry you, not bothering to shut the door behind you. You kept going for a block or two before stopping next to a convenience store, sitting down on the bench outside and holding your head in your hands.

How could this be happening?? You couldn’t even remember what you’d been fighting about. Something stupid, you were sure of that. You’d lost your temper and blown up at Jin, and now he wanted to break up, and holy shit, what were you supposed to do now? He was the only man you’d ever loved, the only one you could ever imagine yourself being with. You’d been planning to get married. How could you have fucked up the one thing that had managed to go right in your life?

You felt a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, what the –!” Fuck.

Jin was standing in front of you, looking as pitiful as you’d ever seen him.

“Y/n……please listen to me. I need you to know that I didn’t mean what I said back at the apartment. I knew I didn’t mean it before I was even finished saying it. You’re the woman I want to marry. I don’t even know what I would do if I lost you. Please. Please forgive me.”

“Please say you’ll stay with me.” His voice wavered as he looked down at you, pleadingly.

You couldn’t stop crying. You couldn’t bring yourself to care. All you could do was nod.

Jin breathed a long, shaky breath out, a look of pure relief breaking out on his face. Pulling you towards him, he wrapped you in a hug so tight you could barely breathe. You never wanted him to let go.

Namjoon

“Don’t you understand how important this is to me? There’s more to my life than just us, you know!”

Namjoon had spent the better part of the past four weeks at the recording studio. He was there when you got up for work in the morning, he was there when you went to bed at night, and you hardly ever saw him on the weekends. Sometimes he didn’t even come home to sleep; he just spent the night on the old couch at his studio. The most intimate you’d been with each other in the last month was a quick kiss when Namjoon was on his way out the door.

And yeah, you understood why he was doing this. You understood that he wanted to finish recording his mixtape as soon as possible, and you also understood that something deep inside of him was nagging at him to make it perfect. You admired how hard he was working, and you wanted to support him the whole way through.

You just missed him. You missed sleeping with his arm slung over you. You missed eating at your favorite Mexican place with him. You missed kissing him when he’d just gotten out of the shower and smelled like soap and peppermint shampoo.

So, when he said those words to you? It stung. It stung because he didn’t understand why you were upset. Even more so, it stung because you knew he thought you were being selfish.

At a loss for words, all you could do was stand there, staring at Namjoon with tears welling up in your eyes, your mouth half open in disbelief. Namjoon’s face softened instantly, and you could see that he regretted saying what he did.

“Oh….fuck. Aw, no, y/n, please don’t cry. Shit. I didn’t mean that at all. You know I didn’t. You mean more to me than anything. I just…..I’ve been working towards this for so long. And it’s like…I’m almost there. It’s so close.”

You swallowed, hard. “I know that. And I’m so excited for you. So, so excited and so, so proud of you. I just miss you. I miss us.”

Namjoon stepped closer, slipping his hands around your waist. “Oh, god y/n…..I miss you too. Really.” He let out a shaky breath. “I’m gonna try harder to make more time for us.“

He slid a hand farther down your back, grinning down at you cheekily.

“How does right now sound?”

Yoongi

“I said I don’t want to fucking talk about it!!”

You froze. Yoongi had never raised his voice at you like that. Sure, you’d seen him get mad before. Sometimes he even got mad at you. But you had never seen him like this.

You didn’t like it.

Tears stinging at the corners of your eyes, you turned on your heel and went straight to your bedroom, locking the door after you. Leaning against the wall, you ran your hands through your hair, willing yourself not to let the tears fall.

You knew you shouldn’t have pushed him. He’d been so stressed out lately from work, and you’d thought that if you could just get him to talk about it, he would feel better. Usually, Yoongi would give in and vent to you about whatever was bothering him, but this time he just… lost it. He’d never talked to you like that before, and it really upset you.

You heard a soft knock on the door to your bedroom.

“……….Y/n?”

Of course it was Yoongi.

He knocked again, a little louder this time. “Y/n, please open the door. We need to talk.”

Hesitantly, you unlocked the door and sat down on the bed. A beat later, Yoongi entered the room, rubbing his neck sheepishly. You turned your tear-stained face toward him, not looking him in the eye. Yoongi looked visibly upset at seeing that he’d made you cry.

“Can I sit down?” he asked. You nodded, and he moved to sit next to you on the bed. You could tell that he was being deliberately gentle.

A few moments passed before Yoongi finally spoke. “Y/n….. I’m really sorry.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “I should never have yelled at you like that. I don’t know what the fuck’s wrong with me. I don’t know, maybe it’s the lack of sleep, or the late hours at work, or the pressure of this new album – anyway. I know it doesn’t matter. I was way out of line. And I want you to know that I’d never hurt you on purpose. I’m so sorry, y/n.”

You sniffled. “Yoongi. It’s okay. I know you really didn’t mean it. And,” you paused, looking at him pointedly, “I know it’s never going to happen again.”

He nodded, looking serious, but relieved all the same. “Thank you, jagi. I love you so much.” He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you to his chest.

Hoseok

“That’s the problem with you! All you ever do is shut me out!”

Your depression had been flaring up again. In the past when you were feeling low, all you wanted was to be alone in your room. Sometimes you’d do nothing for days at a time. It was how you coped, even though it didn’t seem to really make anything better.

As much as it killed you to admit it, deep down, you knew that Hoseok was right. You did shut people out. You were fiercely independent, often to a fault, and Hoseok was earnestly helpful in the same way. Hoseok always noticed when you were feeling like this. He could be incredibly perceptive when it came to you. When it seemed like you were in a bad place again, he would do everything he could to make you feel better. it was sweet, but it could also be really fucking annoying. All you wanted to do right now was be left alone! Why couldn’t he see that?

You felt terrible for pushing Hoseok away, but you felt even worse that he’d pointed it out to you. Who was he to tell you how you should be feeling? And why couldn’t he stop trying to help for five seconds?

You heard the glass door that led to the balcony of your apartment slide open behind you. You didn’t need to look to know that it was Hoseok.

“Hey.” You didn’t respond.

“So… I know you’re irritated with me, and I know you want to be alone. But, hear me out for just like, thirty seconds.” You hummed, letting him know you were listening.

Hoseok took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for accusing you of shutting me out. It wasn’t fair of me to say that. I know you’re going through a really rough time right now. But listen, jagiya. It kills me to see you hurting like this. But I really think that if you would let me go through this with you, together, it would help you. I just want to be by your side, through the good and the bad.”

You felt like such an ass. Hoseok really did care about you.

You still wouldn’t look at him, but this time it was to hide the tears forming in your eyes. It was no use, though. Hoseok moved closer to you, wrapping you in a big bear hug from behind. You melted into him, letting his touch comfort you. “Okay,” you whispered. “I’ll let you in.”

Jimin

“If you like him so much, why don’t you date him instead?”

You couldn’t believe Jimin would even pull this shit on you.

You’d just been promoted at your new job, and one of your coworkers had offered to treat you to drinks tonight to celebrate. Now, normally this wouldn’t be a problem, except it just so happened that this coworker was a man. (A married man, to be specific, whose wife worked in the same office as the two of you and trusted her husband to make friends like a big boy. What a novel concept.)

“Okay, you know what, Jimin? I guess I just won’t go tonight. I guess I’ll just miss out on my plans to celebrate my new job because you’re feeling jealous.” The sarcasm in your voice was practically tangible.

Throwing your purse down, you stormed down the hallway towards your and Jimin’s bedroom.

“And, by the way, Jimin? He’s married. His wife works with us. Do you really think I would cheat on you? And with a married man, no less. But it’s nice to know that you don’t trust me.” You finally reached the end of the hallway, entering the bedroom and slamming the door.

God. How could Jimin even accuse you of something this ridiculous? He knew that you loved him, that you were in love with him. You couldn’t believe he would blow something this insignificant out of proportion like this.

You were just kicking off your heels when you heard the door to your bedroom open. You turned around to see Jimin standing in the doorway, looking hesitant.

“Jimin, I am seriously not in the mood to hear whatever you have to say right now –”

“Y/n, I’m sorry.” Jimin cut you off. “I was an ass. I didn’t know the guy was married, but that’s not even what matters right now.” He took a few steps, bridging the gap between you.

Looking into your eyes, Jimin continued. “I’m sorry I made you think I don’t trust you, because that’s not it, I just….I don’t know. I’m scared you’re going to find someone you like better than me. I dunno. I think about it a lot.”

Your heart was breaking.

“Jimin….I love you. I want to wake up next to you every day for the rest of my life. There’s never going to be anyone else for me.” Placing a hand behind his head, you pulled him in to you and just barely touched your lips to his, hoping to reassure him.

Jimin let out a breathy sigh. “I love you, y/n. Now….get outta here,” he said, handing you your heels.

You hesitated. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

Jimin nodded, looking serious. “For real, y/n. Go, have fun! Besides…..” he paused to wink at you. “I’ll be here waiting for you when you get home.”

Taehyung

“I’m just not ready for that right now, okay? Stop trying to move so fast!”

You really didn’t expect Taehyung to react this way when you mentioned going to your parents’ house for Christmas this year.

You’d been together for almost a year and he still hadn’t met your family, despite the countless offers you’ve made to introduce him. You didn’t understand what the problem was; you’d met his family on several occasions and even had lunch with his sister now and then. They were as sweet as could be, and you loved them. You wanted Taehyung to have that kind of relationship with your own family, but every time you brought it up, he became visibly nervous and changed the subject.

Little did Taehyung know, you’d decided that this Christmas would be it. You had already called your parents to let them know, and they were so excited to finally meet the man who made their daughter so happy. You couldn’t wait to surprise Taehyung with the news.

Let’s just say he didn’t take it as well as you’d planned.

Taehyung completely freaked out. “Y/n, oh my god, we’ve talked about this! You said we were going to wait before visiting your parents!”

This made you even more exasperated than you already were. “No, Tae, you know what? We haven’t talked about it. You have never once given me an actual reason why you don’t want to come home with me! Are we not serious?! Do you not want to be a part of my family, like the way I am with yours?”

Taehyung’s huffy expression disappeared, and was replaced by one of slight embarrassment. “That’s the problem,” he muttered.

“What?” you asked, confused.

Taehyung looked up at the ceiling. “I’m afraid that they won’t like me, okay?” he said quietly. “I’m loud, and too hyper, and not serious enough. I’m worried they won’t think I’m enough of an adult to be with their daughter.”

You thought you could feel your heart shattering into a million pieces. “Oh….Tae.” That was all you could say. You opened your arms, feeling Taehyung lean into you, just letting you hold him.

“Taehyung…..they’re going to love you, because I love you. But if you don’t give them the chance, you’ll never find out. Please, do this for me. Please come home with me for Christmas.” A few beats passed before you heard a muffled “……Okay.” against your shoulder.

Jungkook

“I don’t have to consult you every time I want to do something!”

It was after two in the morning when you finally heard Jungkook unlock the door to the apartment you shared. You were laying in bed staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep without Jungkook beside you.

Jungkook opened the door to your bedroom, his movements slow and deliberate. He probably thought you were sleeping.

“Where have you been?” Your voice startled Jungkook, causing him to run into the wall.

“Ow! Y/n, you scared me!” Rubbing his arm from where he’d bumped the doorframe, he continued, “I was out with the boys. It’s Yoongi’s birthday.”

You crossed your arms. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be out so late?”

Jungkook huffed. “Um? Sorry, I didn’t realize you were the boss of me? Am I not allowed to hang out with my friends anymore?”

You couldn’t believe what he was saying. “Holy shit Jungkook, I’m not mad that you went out with your friends! I’m mad because you weren’t answering your phone! I’m mad because you didn’t even think to let me know you’d be out this late! I was worried sick about you! And if you don’t get that, I guess you really just don’t understand me.” Grabbing your pillow and a throw blanket, you went into the hallway. “I’m sleeping on the couch tonight.”

You lay on the couch, feeling lonely and a little cold. Was Jungkook really accusing you of being controlling? You didn’t care what Jungkook did as long as you knew he was safe. You never told him to blow off the boys to spend time with you. You loved them as much as he did, and you even joined them sometimes. You were only mad because you were worried that something had happened to Jungkook tonight.

Soft footsteps padded down the hallway. You felt the opposite end of the couch sink.

“……Y/n?” It was Jungkook.

“Hey, y/n, listen.” You didn’t move to look at him, but Jungkook knew you were listening. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you where I was tonight. We didn’t even think we were gonna be out that late. I should have called you.” He hesitated.

“And I’m also sorry that I called you controlling. I know you aren’t. You’re so good to me. I’m so sorry I made you worry.”

Sitting up from your makeshift bed on the couch, you leaned into Jungkook. “It’s okay,” you said. “I may have overreacted a little bit. I know you won’t do it again.”

Jungkook kissed your forehead. “Thanks for being so sweet, y/n. Now…..” He got to his feet, picking you up bridal-style. “How about we get you back into the bedroom?”

#sorry this is so lengthy #and I'm soooo sorry it took so long! i've had a lot of schoolwork #bts reactions #bangtan #bts fanfic #writings #also wow these decreases in quality in the order i did them lmao i'm sorryyyyyy

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skiasurveys · 7 years

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Talk about...

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. - I cant remember that well since I was a little kid.. ( The lion king), um but I remember being so into it and I loved animals and it kind of started me wanting to draw. But i cant remember the first time i watched it.

2: Talk about your first kiss. We were really awkward, I liked him..but not enough, and so we went driving around, got starbucks, and then found this bench and we were talking/flirting, and then he just kissed me. But it was nasty asf, it was so gross. his spit was all over me, blehh. I hated it. I remember being like if this is kissing i do not want it. It wasnt tell i kissed another person that i was like Oh thats what its supposed to be like..

3: Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for. He is my current boyfriend. We met on Okcupid in 2015 right after i had finished high school. It was like September. its funny because i wasnt rly serious on that site but then I started to talk to him and we hit it off really well.. we dated for a week then broke up LMAOOO. But then in April 2016 we started to talk again and in May we dated. so its been a year so far, and i am really in love with him. He and I click very well, he’s 7 years older than me. we play video games together but sometimes i watch him play by himself cus its fun that way too. He likes anime tho and i hate it lol. hes very funny and he can be super sweet and romantic and sometimes hes jusr a fkn nerd. idk what else to say before i start going on forever about it.

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far. Meeting the dude who assaulted me. we were just friends and i had a bad feeling about him but i shoved it off. and then he attacked and assaulted me. I wish i went with that gut feeling. Thank god hes gone.

5: Talk about the best birthday you've had. My best birthday was either my 18th or 19th. My 20th was boring. But my 18th I got a wii U and i got drunk too, and i had fun. but yeah, like idk the best prob was when i was a child and had lotsa friends and cake.

6: Talk about the worst birthday you've had. My 16th because my dad was dying.

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity. My biggest insecurity is my body shape.weight. I just hate it because I feel fucking ugly and fat and I really am not, but idk i just want to be skinny and tiny.

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of. I am proud that i graduated and got my license, since I was struggling to graduate which was like 2 years ago but i was going through a lot.

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. I like my eyes, and I do like that i have small hands and feet. ( its easy to find shoes). But I also like my legs and that I have a bigger butt.

10: Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had. theres been a few. But i think with my ex friend who just said she hated me and it was random asf, but she ghosted on me after and so it wasnt really a fight. another one i had was when i started to date my current BF and he wasnt being the best and I was like maybe i should drop him so i tried too and then we fought and then we actually were adults and explained the situation and we sorted it all out. since then we have been so good. like we know how eachother works. Lol fuck.

11: Talk about the best dream you've ever had. I cant think of one.

12: Talk about the worst dream you've ever had. i had a nightmare where this creepy ass creature was crawling up my walls and turned its head all around and had lifeless eyes and creepy sharp jagged teeth, and it was just terrifying. but then my mom killed it.. wtf

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. The first time i had sex I was super nervous. ( It was with my current bf), and we tried and then i started to cry because I was nervous and also from my trauma, and then he was like okay thats fine. Then later that night he asked if we wanted to try again so I said sure. and so we started to make out and then before i knew it was actually inside me and I was like wtf that wasnt bad, and it felt really good. It wasnt overly romantic like they make in movies but it was super good and he was slow and good with me. ever since then i crave dick every minute LMAOOO.

14: Talk about a vacation. I went to disneyland with my mom the year i was graduating high school. It was so much fun, I felt so safe and happy . I cant really explain what i felt just felt like everything was gonna be OK and the rides were just so awesome and the food was great lol

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life. It was when I was starting to date Connor again and we were hanging out and I was like wow, my life is going perfect right now and I felt so happy.

16: Talk about the best party you've ever been to. I never go to parties but the one i went to was at my boyfriends friends house and I just started to drink rum n coke and it was really good and made lots of friends but there wasnt that many people there but i felt really happy.

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with. I cant think of anyone lol

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school. i got bullied alot for stupid shit.

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school. I was in foods class and I was with my friend Jenna, Brittney, Shae and Julia. There was orientation for the kids from elementary that night, and so we asked if we could stay extra and make the cookies and so we were allowed. Then Julia and Shae left to use the washroom. Jenna and I had finished up and were heading to our other class, and as we walked in there was a alarm for a lock down and we were like holy shit. There was somekid with a knife walking around. they calmed him down, but it was really creepy. But our friend brittney was by herself in the foods room and she was crying and i felt so bad omg rip brittney

20: Talk about something that happened in high school. I had math class one afternoon and the class before me apparently this girl had a seizure. But i didnt know, so when we walked in the classroom I was like wtf why are the desks all pushed around and so i thought they did some activity, but it turns out this girl had a seizure, and my friend told me about it and how it was super traumatizing our teacher even got bit. it was really weird..

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. He is my friend still but he really liked me and he asked me out and I had to tell him No and i said that i wasnt looking for a relationship but it was super awkward but hes cool.

22: Talk about your worst fear. choking.

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down. I really liked this one guy and we went on a first date and then he asked if i wanted to chill the next week and so i said sure. But then that day he had texted me and said he was busy and that i couldnt come over and so I was like Oh ok, cool. and then he told me to make sure i wasnt looking for anything serious, and then so i never saw him again after the first date. But he was really boring so thank god i didn’t. and its funny cus a few months after he had some gf and i think he is still with her cus i would see them at the mall all the time. but yeah im glad it didnt work out!

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. One night ( this is cheesy ) It was like 4 am and Connor was watching TV and I was scrolling through tumblr lookin at funny memes/posts and he just turned and looked at me and said “Jen, youre my best friend” and it just made my night. It was super sweet and i felt great.

25: Talk about an ex-best friend. ho ho ho okay, so we were friends since grade 9 summer/beg of grade 10. we were close asf, we liked the same shit, we thought the same. she was great. she was the first best friend i ever had rly. so a couple times through out our friendship she would kind of vanisha nd not talk but it was her depression and it was annoying asf. anyways.. after grade 12 grad (this is like oct 2015), i tried to message her but it wouldnt let me! so i soon realized she blocked me on everything. i texted her thanks for that and then feb 2016 we became friends again, then may 2016 she ghosted on me but she finally sent message saying how she hated me etc and really too this day it hurts but i still dont know what actually fucking happened.

26: Talk about things you do when you're sick. if im really sick i just sleep and watch youtube videos. or ill have a bath.

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body. i really love my boyfriends arms. theyre so big and strong. mmmm.

28: Talk about your fetishes. i dont rly have a fetish tbh.

29: Talk about what turns you on. i like when my bf dominates me, but not too hardcore. I like neck kissing, facial hair, deep voices, motivation. I like being tackled like play fighting and i like when he touches my thighs etc. mm

30: Talk about what turns you off. being an asshole, racist/sexiest, if youre super smelly. if youre really tall and skinny.

31: Talk about what you think death is like. i dont know. its probably weird asf.

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. i remember this place called Moonwalkers and it was this crazyass jungle gym we had and it was the best shit ever.

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad. i draw, listen to music, have a bath..etc

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured. getting hit by a car.

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. i wish i would stop comparing myself to every fucking person i see.

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures. some anime.

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. i thought i loved wade, but i really was just liking the idea of someone. this was in high school. lol it was really weird and i didnt like it.

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. it depeds on the song and the person. pink floyd reminds me ofmy ex friend. Anime/kpop songs remind me of Kyra and super lovely songs and omam remind me of connor

39: Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier. not everyone you lose is a loss.

40: Talk about the end of something in your life. the end of high school and teenage years was really weird. i remember feeling so out of place and not sure what t do with myself.

#survey #personal #talk about

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ramonasflowers13-blog · 7 years

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1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. Who even remembers that? I remember watching chucky or some scary movie when I was really young tho. 2: Talk about your first kiss. It was during the summer. I think I was 14. I was over romans house with a bunch of my friends and we were watching wax museum I believe and he pulled the covers over us and kissed me. I didn't even kiss him back lol 3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. He broke my heart. He left me in the worst way. With no words, no explanation, no closure. I'll always love him though. If he came back, I'd probably let him back in. I don't want to though. I doubt he will. 4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far. Getting involved with David. Catching a felony. 5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had. I've never had a good memorable birthday. For my 19th I got really drunk and went to see a movie and fell asleep thru the whole thing and ended up throwing up crackers on the floor n fell asleep. Lol 6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had. They all sucked. None in particular really stand out. 7: Talk about your biggest insecurity. Probably my face in general. My smile. My crooked teeth. 8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of. I'm not proud of anything. I guess just finishing high school bc I really didn't think I'd make it and maybe making it this far. 9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. My little moles. I have them everywhere 10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had. Physical or emotional? I don't ever really argue with anyone. I guess that one time with David when I screamed fuck you and he was like fuck you too and told me to get out of his house but wanted to block doors and shit. Oh maybe that one time Chelsea got drunk and hit me and tori left her at a gas station in Oklahoma. 11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had. I can never remember my dreams. None of them are ever that nice just fucking weird. 12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had. Trump trying to have a 3some with me and hitler and when he got mad he turned into a really tall black woman and busted down the door to get to me. I had a dream about a bus full of kids getting shot up. 13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. I was high. Wasn't that good. It was with my first love. It was after some teen club. I was 14. 14: Talk about a vacation. I don't think I've ever been on vacation. But I did go to Florida for my half brothers wedding once and I was on the beach. 15: Talk about the time you were most content in life. Anytime before I was 12 16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to. I don't go to many parties. None of them are really eventful. I usually never wanna be there in the first place besides to get drunk. 17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with. No one comes to mind. 18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school. I was "dating" roman in like 4th grade? Or 3rd and he would leave me money in my locker sometimes like 20$ and I was joking and said I'm a gold digger and my bitch ass little friends went and told him and he broke up with me and my friends were going back and forth on the soccer field saying "oh she said this!" And "he said that!" And he told me to suck his dick and I told him to suck his own dick and we somehow ended up getting in trouble and we got Saturday detention and they really had the nerve to sit us at the same table across from each other LOL 19: Talk about something that happened in middle school. I had a few good friends. Alex. Bailey. Angel. Roxiee. And everyone else I don't even talk to anymore. I miss them. 20: Talk about something that happened in high school. I isolated myself from everyone. I didn't have many friends. I didn't bother to speak to anyone or get to know anyone. I spent most of my time in the library reading or doing homework so I didn't have to do it at home. I met a guy named Evan in my fashion design class. He was one of the only guys in the class and he was really cool. He smoked and lived fairly close so we started hanging out. We were drinking and he asked me out and I didn't really wanna say yes but I can't reject someone to their face in their own house. So yeah. I don't really remember how we broke up. He said he liked my hair or something n I said that's gay and I think it pissed him off. lol I think that's why we broke up TBH but my memory is shit 21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. I never usually do. Idk. No one ever really pursues me. I guess Luis. I keep telling him to fuck off every time he tries to talk to me. It's been like 2 or 3 years now. Idk how I'm still a thought in his mind. 22: Talk about your worst fear. My worst fears have already manifested. Being utterly alone. Having no one understand me. Catching on fire. Dying in a plane crash. Dying a slow painful death. I plan on od'ing so I just realized I should just get barred out then od so I don't have to remember anything and everything will slowly just fade away. I'm hoping. 23: Talk about a time someone turned you down. All my relationships. I never am the one to walk away. People always end up leaving me. But I mean, no ones ever really rejected me I don't think. I don't pursue people that aren't at least semi interested in me 24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. Idk why but when David noticed how I always taste my coffee before I drink it on our way to work. He said something about that and idk why it meant so much to me but I guess just someone paying attention to the little things I didn't think anyone would ever notice. When john told me he was in love with me so casually. It shocked me. I've never had anyone say that to me before. I never got to actually hear it before. 25: Talk about an ex-best friend. Tori is a fucking cunt. She sucks as a person. Rude mean and manipulative. 26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick. Lay in bed all day. Bitch and moan about being sick. Hot coffee. Lots of NyQuil. 27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body. I really like boys with nice feet. I don't even like feet at all but guys feet rly intrigue me for some reason when they're pretty LOL. Hands. The veiny arms. The muscles. Eyes. 28: Talk about your fetishes. Hair pulling. Slapping. Spitting. Bondage is cool. CHOKING! 29: Talk about what turns you on. All those ^ and neck kisses. Hickies. So ugly but I love how they feel. Gettin my titties succccdt 30: Talk about what turns you off. Long fingernails. 31: Talk about what you think death is like. I have a couple theories. 1. Eternal sleep. A dreamlike state. Does consciousness die when your body dies? If not, I feel like you'd just keep dreaming for eternity. Maybe that's what this life is. My past life's never ending dream. 2. Darkness. Black. Nothingness. The void. 3. Reincarnation. You are reborn into this world or perhaps a different universe. I'm not sure but either one of those would be okay with me. Oh, maybe a heaven type place for your soul. Maybe only in death you can reach enlightenment and pure bliss. 32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. The big orange trailer on the end of morning street. The lake/pond thing by it. My cousins house. 33: Talk about what you do when you are sad. Listen to sad music. Shitpost on social media about my inevitable suicide. I don't necessarily want attention. Idk why I do it. I just don't have anyone else to really talk to I guess. So why not let the whole twitter n tumblr world know how I feel. 34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured. When I would wake up in the middle of the night with a pain in my stomach. Laying down only made it worse. Emotional pain that turns into physical pain and you can literally feel an ache in your chest. 35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Depending on people. Planning my suicide. Wanting to kill myself anytime something goes wrong. Not being able to say how I feel when I should. Not being able to walk away from people and situations I no longer need to deal with. Not being able to let go. Hating myself. Blaming myself for other people's actions. Blaming myself for things out of my control. Inappropriate humor that most people don't think is funny but I just really hate everything and give no fucks. 36: Talk about your guilty pleasures. I never know. Coffee I suppose bc it makes my anxiety a lot worse. Cigarettes. I smoke them when I'm stressed or just when I'm bored bc it gives me something to do. Provoking people to hurt me bc I like emotional pain. I guess I don't like it but I thrive on it. I need it to survive. 37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. He ruined me. That ordeal traumatized me. 38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. From the edge of the deep green sea by the cure reminds me of john. It talks about how she never wants to leave him and how it's the same thing every time. Idk. Reflect the storm by in flames reminds me of David. He showed me it. So I can't help but think of him every time I hear it. 39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier. He didn't love me. Everything he said was a lie. 40: Talk about the end of something in your life. This relationship. My life will end soon as well.

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