#The (Completely Platonic!) Breakup Arc

[offsidekineticist]

Ohhhh this took forever, and it was genuinely painful to write at times, but I did it. Mind the CWs, this chapter is less "fantasy action and True Love's Kiss" and more "watching a loved one struggle to adjust to a new disability really fucking sucks, doesn't it?" Although those who have played the Hell's Rebels AP will probably have fun with the references.

CW: debilitating chronic pain, medical gore/hypothetical body horror, rationing of medication, doctors one after the other saying they can't help, implied suicidal ideation, looming possibility of unmedicated chronic pain, loss of religious support, subversion of due process, toxic family dynamic, mentions of bookburning and purges, and the desecration of remains and exploitation of tragedies for the entertainment of the Public

Excellent Work

You wake to the sound of pained hisses and groans and whimpers, almost as exhausted you were when you went to sleep. You slip out of the oversized bed and walk to the other side. Theo is burrowed into Giliys's chest, arms crossed over his own chest with his eyes squeezed shut, tears sliding down his face. Giliys, wide awake, is cradling Theo's head in his arms. He glares at you.

"Is the pain bad enough now?" Giliys demands accusingly. You ignore him as you retrieve the bottle of flayleaf extract. Theo was doing better earlier. You had thought he'd be alright until morning, but the chill of the night must have brought the pain back with a vengeance. You measure out an amount you hope will be enough to let Theo go back to sleep–or start sleeping, if he never fell asleep in the first place.

"Theo, can you hear me?" you ask, holding the spoon of flayleaf extract in your hand. He nods with a whimper. "Alright, I have some medicine to help with the pain. Open your mouth?"

He obeys, keeping his eyes shut, and you bring the spoon to his mouth. He swallows the extract, and you take back the spoon. It takes a few minutes, but the sounds of pain gradually become less frequent, and then stop altogether as the exhaustion puts Theo to sleep.

"I told you, you don't have to ration it. If they won't believe you're a healer, I can get more," Giliys hisses.

"The last thing we need is one of us getting arrested for drug smuggling," you snap. "And I don't trust the quality you'd be getting, either. We need to make it last until I can find a healer who can fix his hands."

"If you haven't found one yet, you're not going to find one without heading to Absalom. You need to figure out a way to get him regular meds–he can't live like this."

You take a deep breath to avoid snapping. You know this isn't tenable. You're a goddamned healer, of course you know Theo can't live like this. But you're already doing the best you can. It's been a month, and the best you've been able to do for his hands is immobilize them in crude splints made of bandages and tongue depressors. Your healing magic is useless because his bones have been crushed to the point that you can't set them without surgery, and you can't use healing magic on bones that haven't been set right because that's how you get bony growths piercing through skin and creating a constant infection risk. You've tried to find a healer who can help him–almost every day since he's been strong enough to walk, you've dragged Theo up to Temple Hill, going from temple to temple looking for help. It always ends the same way: another healer, face drained of color, apologetically explaining this is beyond their ability to heal while you carefully re-splint Theo's exposed fingers and pretend not to notice his tears.

Giliys is right, though. Theo's pain is too intense for you to manage while also rationing your remaining supply of medicine. You keep overestimating how much he can go without so you keep having to give him even larger doses to bring his pain back under control. It's become a vicious cycle that's depleting your supply far more quickly than you expected. Something needs to be done.

"I'll contact the church," you finally say. "If I can get the priests to vouch for me, I can get the credentials I need to order more medicine legally. Then it will just be a matter of finding the money."

Giliys gives you a disbelieving stare. "It can't be that easy. You'd have done it by now if it was that easy."

"I was prioritizing finding a permanent solution so we could use our money on the permanent solution, but since that solution seems farther away than expected, I am reprioritizing."

"They're gonna be pissed at you, aren't they?" Giliys asks, eyes widening in realization. "Shit, Qweck–you don't have to go back to them, I'll figure something out–"

"I'm a cleric, not a slave," you snap, too exhausted to deal with Giliys conflating accountability with abuse yet again. "I won't be flogged for returning after an…error of judgment."

His expression closes off at that. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever you say, princess. I'm gonna get some sleep." He closes his eyes, and you get the feeling he would have rolled over to face away from you if he could move without disturbing Theo.

You return to your side of the bed, but you don't sleep. You haven't just been avoiding this because of priorities. You aren't a slave and you won't be flogged, but that doesn't mean reporting to your former colleagues after abandoning your duties to commit a novel's worth of crimes will be pleasant. Especially not when you need something from them. 

You lay awake through the telltale signs of morning–first the moonlight disappears, then you hear the sound of dockworkers leaving their homes to go to work. Then you hear children giggling on their way to school. It is only after you hear the shouts of the newscryer that you see sunlight peeking through the windows. The sun rises late in Kintargo–it takes time to rise past the peaks of the Menador Mountains. You still aren't used to it.

You don't stir until Theo does. You're too afraid of waking him, given how little he sleeps these days. You would guess it's about an hour after sunrise when his eyes open with a groan. Giliys wakes immediately, and the three of you begin what has become your morning routine. You put on a pair of flowy trousers and then tie a sash around your waist over the chemise you wore to bed before beginning to prepare breakfast while Giliys, still only half-dressed himself, helps Theo get dressed. You were surprised at first to see how adept Giliys is at this task, easily managing Theo's clothes and disarming his pride with unexpectedly earnest assurances of "allow me" and "here, I've got that" and so on.  

"Shave?" Giliys asks as he does every morning. 

"No," Theo says flatly as he does every morning, apparently unbothered by the patchy, scraggly not-quite-a-beard on his face. He used to shave daily, absolutely meticulous about his appearance. You suspect he doesn't trust an assassin to hold a razor blade to his throat. Then again, he won't let you shave him, either.

There's no table or chairs in your apartment, so the three of you sit on the floor to eat the rest of yesterday's leftovers, preserved with the same magic you were taught to preserve corpses. You know there are other spells that can conjure food out of thin air–you ate such food regularly during your days as a novice training at the monastery before your ordination–but you never learned such spells. According to Giliys you never learned to make food without magic, either, though he usually keeps his opinion of your cooking to himself until he's at least tasted the food, which usually isn't until after Theo has finished eating. Theo rarely comments on the food at all. Instead he just gets more irritated as Giliys has to spoon feed him because he can't hold anything with his hands splinted as they are. 

You finish your meal before Giliys is even halfway through spooning the leftover shellfish stew for Theo. You put your empty bowl on the cold stovetop–Giliys will take care of washing the dishes while you're out–and slip on your shoes before offering your farewells and heading out the door. 

Hocum's Phantasmagorium has been abandoned since long before your arrival in the city, apparently created by a man allegedly eager to spread joy and wonder in the wake of the then recently ended Chelish Civil War. You were born too late to have seen that time, but given the dark looks and sullen silence you got whenever you tried to ask Theo about that time as a child, you feel it is safe to assume joy was in short supply in those days.

Whatever the intent of this Mr. Hocum, you can't help but feel the downfall of his business was a boon to the city. Walking through what's left of the exhibits, the degree of misinformation and shameless, voyeuristic exploitation of tragedies (such as the Temple Hill Slasher's murder spree) strikes you as tasteless at best. Let the Opera house and dancehalls bring joy to the city. They do not display the remains of sasquatches - intelligent humanoids - for entertainment.

You idly wonder if there is some way of laying those bones to rest, some family of sasquatches that would be grateful to have their remains returned, as you approach the reason for your trespass in this supposedly abandoned building: a statue of Aroden nestled in a small alcove. The god of prophecies is dead and hears prayers no more, but you are not here to pay tribute. You have to climb up the statue to reach it–this place was built by tallfolk–but on the statue's chest, circled by Azlanti runes, is Araden's holy symbol, the eye of Aroden. Blind as it may be, it still has its uses. You turn the pupil of the eye, pointing it from rune to rune, until you have spelled the name of the Master of Masters whom Aroden once called friend: IRORI.

With a groan of stone scraping stone, the statue moves, and you release your grip on the dead god's arm to leap back to the floor outside the alcove. The statue stops, revealing a spiral staircase to the basement below, and you descend to the only place in Kintargo dedicated to Irori: the Many-Steps Monastery

You had always intended to visit this monastery. Built from the basement of Hocum's museum after it closed, it served as a treasure trove of pre-Thrune art, literature, and history. Its existence was not commonly known in the church of Irori, but Giliys caught wind of it through contacts with the Bellflower Network, so he passed the information onto you. That is how you first came in contact with the Sacred Order of Archivists–the order of Irorian scholars dedicated to preserving Chelish history and culture–a connection that proved fruitful through the years until they suddenly went silent. The only explanation you received was that their sudden silence coincided with "The Night of Ashes" and the late Barzillai Thrune's crackdown on Kintargan dissidents.

If you look closely, you can still see evidence of Thrune's raid–scorch marks on walls, occasional burgundy stains on the floor–but for the most part the place seems ready for scholars to return. Based on the Message you received not long after your arrival in Kintargo, they already have. Or, rather, one has.

You find Corvinius Basad in one of the scholar's cells, standing over an open book laid out on the desk in front of him. He holds his hand, glowing pale blue with divine power, over a book, opened to a section where pages have been torn out. He is older than you remember from your days as novices–the long braid looped around his neck, typical of the Irorian priesthood, is streaked with gray, and his face is now lined from age–but that is to be expected. That was a quarter of a century ago, and humans age so much faster than gnomes.

"Just a moment," Corvinius says, not looking up from the mutilated text before him. Before you can reply, the tattered remains of one of the torn out pages begins to shift and then grow. You stare in awe as the book seems to heal before your very eyes, and a single page, ink and all, is restored.

"How did you do that?" You blurt out as Corvinius straightens and wipes a bead of sweat from his brow. He grins.

"Wonderful, isn't it? A little trick I picked up from a friend. She uses it for somewhat less altruistic purposes, which is likely why it can only be used to restore a single page at a time." He grimaces. "It's slow going, but the alternative is to allow what the Asmodeans destroyed to be lost forever. In any case, it is good to see you again, Sister." He bows his head slightly in greeting, and you return the gesture with some embarrassment.

"And you as well, Brother. Forgive my rudeness–I did not expect to see a miracle performed today."

Corvinius snorts. "I heal books one page at a time, sister. You heal bodies with a single spell. Which of us is the miracle worker?"

You nod politely, trying to keep the flare of guilt from your face. You wouldn't be here if you were a miracle worker. 

"I am, nonetheless, glad you are so intrigued," Corvinius continues, sitting down at the desk and, with loving care, gently setting aside the book he was repairing. "Because this work is why I contacted you."

That surprises you. You had assumed that Corvinius, as the nearest representative of the Church, had been tasked with convening a hearing that would determine the severity of your Censure for abandoning your post, and you tell him as much. Corvinius seems surprised, and then strokes his chin thoughtfully.

"Of course–I had assumed news would have reached you, but in retrospect, things being as they are–" he pulls himself from his thoughts and meets your gaze. "An emergency hearing was held without you. Very irregular, but, under the circumstances, politically necessary."

"Politically necessary," you repeat.

"Well, yes. Thrune wipes out an lrorian order for hoarding banned books, and just over a year later an Irorian priest rampages through a hellknight citadel to rescue a dissident also accused of hoarding banned books? The church in Cheliax has been walking a tightrope for years now. They can't be associated with the most wanted woman in Cheliax."

A yawning void opens in the pit of your stomach. There's only one way the church could avoid being associated with one of its priests. "I've been excommunicated, haven't l?" 

To be excommunicated is a priest's worst nightmare. It is to be barred from participating in church life or holy rituals, no longer entitled to the support or assistance of the church. It is a punishment reserved for those who have committed unrepentant anathema against their god, usually only enacted after Irori himself has expressed his rejection by taking back their divine powers or cursing them for their blasphemy. It is a punishment always handed down by a council of elders after lengthy deliberation that always includes the testimony of the accused. To excommunicate someone in absentia when they have neither committed anathema nor been subject to divine punishment would be a travesty–it should not happen.

And yet, even before Corvinius answers, you know that it has, and you understand why. 

In a gesture far too nonchalant for the situation, Corvinius holds up his hand and wiggles it in a "so-so" type motion.

"You've been excommunicated in Cheliax. I doubt anyone outside Cheliax will care, assuming lrori hasn't taken back his power–he hasn't, has he?"

"No, of course not!" you say, momentarily losing your composure at the mere idea that you would commit a sin egregious enough that Irori himself would take notice.

"There you go. And, for the time being at least, Kintargo is not in Cheliax. So when l ask if you would be willing to join me in rebuilding the Sacred Order and its collection, I am a servant of Irori requesting assistance from a fellow servant of lrori."

Still reeling from your excommunication, it takes a moment to process what is being asked of you–long enough that Corvinius continues. "Ultimately I'd like to renovate the building above so the entire complex can be a temple. True, it's not Temple Hill, but I personally see that as a boon. We will be accessible to those who need us most. That's all in the future, of course–until we know we are safe here, we'll continue to keep the order and the monastery secret. We can't risk the church being associated with even more dissident activity. For now the most pressing matter–"

"You realized I abandoned my flock, yes?" you interrupt. "Politics or no, I should be censured for my actions."

Corvinius shrugs. "I am less inclined to judge you for that. There were extenuating circumstances. And even if there weren't…I am attempting to restore an entire library of damaged books one page at a time. I need help. And, given the circumstances of your alleged excommunication, I thought you and your compatriots might be interested in our work. Or at least in a place to stay rent-free in exchange for fixing books."

You can feel the blood drain out of your face at the thought of that. You can't ask that of Theo–he's too lost, too fragile. He won't see the danger, won't see how precarious Ravounel's independence is, how easily history could repeat itself. You can still see him as he was when you found him, emaciated and exhausted, body battered and wounded and covered with dried blood and filth, hands mangled and crushed and the haunted look in his eyes–

"Absolutely not," you say with more vehemence than you intend. "I'm not here so you can draft my f–my friend into a doomed secret society when he can't even turn a page on his own." 

Corvinius's eyes widen in surprise. "Obviously it would be his choice, I have no intention of-"

"No. He's not–they had him for weeks, do you understand? Do you have any idea what that does to a person? What they do to people? He can't go through that again. It would destroy him."

"May I ask–no, nevermind."

He backtracks quickly, and so you are intrigued. "Ask what?"

"Nothing–the question would have been inappropriate."

You squint at him warily. "Now I have to know what it was."

"I don't–"

"Just ask the goddamned question, Corv!"

Corvinius sighs. "Fine. I wanted to ask who are you trying to protect? Him or yourself?"

Rage blooms in your chest. How dare he? "I gave up everything to save Theo, and you have the gall to question whether I'm trying to protect him?" 

"I only meant–"

"No. Nuh-uh. Stop. I don't give a fuck what you meant. The answer is no. I'm not here to let you prey on my father when he's too weak to stand up for himself, I'm here to get a representative of the Church of lrori to vouch for my credentials so I can get him the meds he needs for his life not to feel like a tribute to Zon-Kuthon. Now can you do that?"

He looks almost regretful. "The Church of Irori can't officially be in Kintargo until the situation has stabilized–it could put all of our brethren at–" 

"Yes or no, Corv?"

"No. But I–"

"Fine. Thanks for nothing."

You think you hear him calling after you as you storm out, but you're not inclined to listen. You're fuming the whole way up the spiral steps and back through the tacky so-called museum. How dare he try to take advantage of your situation? How dare he try to recruit you immediately after revealing your excommunication? How dare he reveal that and then dismiss it as nothing?

The most galling part is that if he hadn't been so slimy about it, you would probably have agreed–not to recruiting Theo, of course, but to joining him yourself. It's not as if you hate the idea. You were close as novices, and though you've both changed, it would have been nice to have the chance to catch up. And while you'd hate spending your days casting the same spell over and over, spending days restoring a single book, you believe in the cause, and you're willing to endure tedium for the sake of your beliefs.

But dragging Theo into it? When you're still not certain Ravounel will be able to maintain its independence, and Corvinius is rebuilding the order in the same place Thrune already raided? Theo is already so broken from what happened in Rivad, and Corvinius has the gall to ask more of him? You should be planning your escape in case Ravounel is reoccupied, not joining a secret society that has already died once! 

Still furious, you return to the apartment to find Theo and Giliys in their usual places. Theoven sits cross-legged on the oversized bed, slouched forward to read a book laid flat in front of him, Giliys sitting beside him, dutifully turning pages at his signal. Giliys turns at the sound of the door opening and gives you a perfunctory nod. To your surprise, Theo looks up from his reading at the sound of your entry. 

"Welcome back," Theo says, and the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end because it's the most like himself he's seemed in weeks, but it's so unfamiliar to you now that it feels like a trick. "Giliys said you were going to speak to the Irorians about your credentials," he continues, and you relax slightly–the other shoe has dropped. “How did it go?"

"The Church of lrori does not have an official presence in Kintargo, and it will not until Ravounel's independence is more secure," you recite. Theo does not let his emotions show on his face, but it's not hard to guess his thoughts on the matter. 

"And unofficially?"

You shouldn't be so transparent to those outside the church, especially someone with such a big target on his back, but, truthfully, you're beyond caring. If Theo is going to have to resort to Giliys's black market contacts to manage his pain, he deserves to know why. "Unofficially they're setting up a monastery at the headquarters of a lost Irorian order."

"The Sacred Order of Archivists?" Theoven asks, and you have to stop yourself from gaping.

"How do you know about them?"

"Giliys mentioned them, years ago."

You roll your eyes with a sigh. "Of course he did." It's a silly thing to be upset about at this point, but it still galls you just how blatantly Giliys ignored your admonitions to leave your family out of your resistance work.  

"The guy already had more illegal books than I'd seen in the rest of my life fucking combined," Giliys explains defensively. "I just thought he might want to–"

"You knew about the books?" you interrupt. Giliys freezes for a second before doing his best to feign nonchalance.

"I mean, I didn't know just how fucking many he had. He just kept trying to lend them to me before he figured out I couldn't fucking read–"

"When you destroyed one of them," Theo says, and you can tell his patience is beginning to fray. Giliys slouches slightly.

"I said I was sorry," he says with a meekness that seems wrong coming from him.

"Sorry doesn't bring back priceless artifacts of pre-Thrune Chelaxian culture," Theo observes, the claws beginning to come out.

"But you found out–it was an accident?" you interrupt, because you need to know and the conversation is going to die with the last of Theo's patience. "Like you went through his bag when he wasn't looking or–or something?"

Giliys looks uncomfortable now. "No, he, uh, he just loaned me a book and said to be careful cuz it was very rare and also incredibly fucking illegal."

You don't know what to say to that. Theo had never even hinted to you that he owned anything untoward, but he just handed the evidence of a potentially capital crime to an assassin because he thought he'd enjoy some light reading?

Clearing his throat, Giliys starts again. "So, uh, yeah, I thought he might be interested in getting in touch with the order, but he said you'd get more use out of that, so–"

"You told him first?!" 

"I am sitting right here, if you would like to lodge a complaint," Theo says, crossing his arms, an unusual edge to his voice. "Not that you have much of a leg to stand on, given how adamant you were that I never find out about your resistance work."

You don't physically flinch, but your insides recoil at the accusation. "I was trying to protect you."

"Yes, excellent work on that, by the way."

There is something inside you–something steadfast and solid that has been straining to carry you through this ordeal. You can hear it crack under the force of that jab.

"She did her best, Thay," Giliys says quietly as you listen to the cracks spread.

"It doesn't really matter when her best leaves me unable to feed myself, does it?" Theo retorts flatly, not even glancing in Giliys's direction and holding up a bandaged hand for emphasis, and you feel a flare of frustration.

"It's not forever," you insist. "We'll find you a healer who can fix your hands, you just have to be patient."

Charcoal gray eyes flash dangerously as he speaks. "Patient? I have been nothing if not patient while you drag me from useless healer to useless healer because your pride can't stand the idea that maybe there's something you can't fix."

Corvinius's words echo in your ears. Who are you trying to protect? The anger flares in your chest anew. "You have no business lecturing me on pride, not with the stunts you've been pulling."

Refusing to eat because he can't stand being spoon fed; routinely soiling himself for days before breaking down and accepting help with the toilet; almost killing himself trying to shave–the past few weeks have taught you that Theoven Derenge is nothing if not proud.

"Forgive me for not being the perfect patient. I had assumed it was acceptable to be imperfect considering I am being cared for by a blatantly imperfect priest."

You almost snarl at the jab at your commitment to your faith, but your self-control wins out. "Would you rather I let you die in Rivad so I could be a more perfect priest?"

He has the audacity to shrug. "At the very least, I'd get some peace and quiet."

You gape at him. "I abandoned my calling to break you out. Giliys and Kob almost died before we even found you. And you're so determined not to show gratitude that you'd say something like that?"

"I never asked anyone to do anything for me. That was your decision," Theo retorts, voice chillingly even. "Nobody is stopping you from going back to your calling. Perhaps you'll actually be useful there."

"Okay, maybe we should all just shut the fuck up now before someone somehow says something even fucking worse," Giliys interjects, finally regaining some of his usual bravado. Neither of you acknowledge him.

"Useful?!" You exclaim voice rising. "Who healed your wounds? Who splinted your hands? Who has been measuring out your medicine?"

"You refuse to give me enough medicine to get me through the night and expect me to be grateful?"

"I thought it was enough!"

"Because you were too much of a coward to face your church if you didn't have to."

It feels like a slap in the face, the even tone he says it in just rubbing salt in the wound because he seems so damnably calm. The cracks spread, loudly.

"I don't have to put up with this," you say, working hard to keep your voice from cracking. "You understand? I don't have to stay."

"Then don't. There's not much of my life left to destroy, so your work here is done, isn't it?"

The cracks go silent as that thing inside you finally shatters, and everything suddenly feels clear for the first time since hearing of Theo's arrest. You turn and pick up your doctor's bag from its resting place next to the door before turning back to Theo and holding eye contact.

"I will be back in two weeks to take off the splints," you say. "Unless you decide you'd rather take them off yourself than trust an imperfect coward." 

If Theo has any visible reaction, you don't notice it before you turn and go out the door. You make it perhaps five steps down the rickety flight of wooden stairs before you're stopped by a desperate cry.

"Qweck! Wait!" It's Giliys, racing out the door after you, closing the door behind him before hurrying to your side and speaking in hushed tones. "That's not him–it's just the pain talking. You know he doesn't mean that. You know–"

"No, Giliys, I don't," you say, your voice louder than his–you don't have it in you to care if Theo can hear you. "What I know is I've given up everything to help that man, and he still thinks of me as an arrogant coward who ruined his life."

"He doesn't think that! He's just–he's scared. He knows we're almost out of meds, and he knows what that means, and he's fucking terrified."

"And I can't help him. I tried, but I don't have a way of getting him more medicine."

"I can take care of the meds, but I need your help to take care of him–I know I'm usually the one helping him eat and read and wipe his ass, but you help him by being here. I swear–he hates me, Qweck. You're what makes the situation bearable for him."

You stare at him incredulously, your mind replaying the scene from last night: Theo desperately clinging to Giliys for comfort while the pain steals his ability to function. "Giliys. A blind man could see that he doesn't hate you. He's just too broken to love well."

It's a cruel thing to say, but you're too exhausted for compassion. Giliys's face shifts from pleading to angry. "You take that back. He's strong, he'll heal, it's just going to take time, and he needs us."

"Then maybe he should treat us better." You take a deep breath. "Like I said, I'll be back to check on his splints. Maybe the time apart will help."

"And where will you go?" Giliys demands. "And don't say the Sacred Order, you're on a short enough fuse these days that there's no way you didn't fly off fucking the handle when they told you to fuck off."

Damn him. Damn him for knowing you that well. "I don't care. If I need to sleep on the street to get a break from his bullshit, I fucking will." 

Giliys face falls. He closes his eyes and takes a breath before bringing a hand to his forehead. "Okay, okay. Look. If you're that sure…go to the Long Roads Coffeehouse in the Villegre district. Talk to Laria, tell her Giliys sent you. She'll probably expect you to work but…you might find the work more familiar than you'd think."

She's a Bellflower contact, then. Some of the heaviness in your chest lifts at that–the thought of working with the Network again, doing work that matters, feels like a balm to your soul. It will be nice to be useful again. You nod. "Thank you, Giliys."

His hand shifts upward from his forehead to grip his hair. "Yeah, yeah. I, uh, I'll try talking to him." You're certain that he won't–he's too afraid of upsetting Theo–but you appreciate the sentiment. "Maybe this will be a wakeup call."

"Maybe," you say, but you don't know. You normally would expect Theo to own up to his mistakes, but you would also never expect him to be like this in the first place. "Look…whatever flayleaf you find, bring it to me before you give it to him, OK? I'll make sure it's safe and show you the right dosage–and don't give him more than I tell you. If he needs a higher dose, come find me, and I'll tell you what's safe, ok?" You sigh. "I'll…probably be back. Not probably, I will be. I just…I need a break."

Giliys nods, relief plain on his face. "Yeah. Will do. Take care of yourself, OK?"

"You too, Giliys."

You continue down the staircase. You look back up when you reach the street to find Giliys still there. He watches you go until you are out of sight with what you suspect might be longing, and you wonder with some guilt how long until he leaves, too.

#the (completely platonic!) breakup arc #part 12 #pathfinder wotr #pwotr pals #oc: theoven derenge #oc: giliys #oc: qweck #oc: corvinius basad #sorry guys

[gayofthefae]

Mike and El aren't "100% secure never gonna break up" because I'm only pretty sure that Nancy and Jonathan are gonna stay together and in season 4, I was only pretty sure Lucas and Max would get back together but I acknowledged a possibility that they would remain just friends but very close and still be the main pairing for each other onscreen. Nothing is certain. Because you haven't seen the ending. And with that Lucas and Max example, I was unsure of Lucas and Max and MIKE was the one that couldn't tell El he loved her. I was unsure of even the one couple that didn't have any (relationship) threat. No one is 100% safe because we don't know what's gonna happen. The only couple I was sure of in season 4 was Joyce and Hopper because they had very clear and consistent romantic buildup and references and hadn't been together yet. My closest comparison to that is Byler.

Honestly, I'm also realizing as I type this that the main lack of knowing stemmed from me knowing that plots have to invoke change and an established couple breaking up is a change, and being a change trumps being illogical. Joyce and Hopper or Mike and Will not getting together would be a complete lack of change.

Joyce and Hopper changed to dating. Jonathan and Nancy are shifting into their future and away from Hawkins. Lucas and Max changed into maturity that they didn't have before. Mike and El didn't change before, in fact, they reused(/extended with a tone shift to more seriousness) a PREVIOUS CONFLICT. Mike and Will haven't changed and won't if they do anything but get together that ends on good platonic terms.

Couples have to change. Getting together is a change. Breaking up is a change. Maturing is a changer. Elmike was already treated pretty seriously and that's used as reason for them to not break up but it's actually the opposite because they have nowhere to go but to break up now, as it is a story and further events are required to get to an end point. Byler were already on good platonic terms and and learning something that doesn't change anything is inherently NOT a change.

Realizing, even Will coming out to Jonathan was important because it was a CHANGE! They had been distant for a while and that was included in order to set up that moment as something that had needed to happen, a vulnerable conversation they hadn't had in a while.

Honestly the only established couple I'm 100% sure of is Dustin and Suzie because they have no plots and therefore no reason for change. Sidelined couples are endgame couples. Shoutout Mr. and Mrs. Finch on Bridgerton you're the cutest thing I've ever seen I'm so happy you both love cheese.

Jopp3r and J@ncy have available changes while staying together in committing further as they are adults or becoming adults who are capable of independent decisions like going to college together, moving in together, marriage, etc. All child couples, aka everyone else, do not have that change as an option (although some people have tried reaching for it under the idea of a larger time jump, even legality does not equal narrative plausibility) so their only possibilities are to commit to fight to reunite: Lum@x(just realized! parallel to when Elmike was romantic!), or break up (M!leven). Other options for any two people not together or engaged with another in-relationship change include as follows: getting together. That's it.

All couples but Mike and El have other options of change to build up to achieving other than breaking up. If they didn't, breaking up would be their only option, but they have alternates. For Mike and El, that is not the case. Lucas and Max are only even safe because she's in a coma, or if they decide to extend their get-back-together arc. The kids' only options are have an existing possible change or breakup. Lucas and Max have an existing possible change.

#stranger things #byler endgame #endgame couples #byler #jopper predictions #people have said it as like a cute idea but now i'm thinking about it more genuinely because what other change do they have but larger #commitment #elmike parallels #and as i said dustin is dating a guest star which doesn't count towards this #as his romance is not his main plot #elmike breakup #st predictions

[loneswaggingranger]

So... my thoughts on the latest season of Sex Education is a little... jumbled, but overall I give it, like, a 7/10. Here's just some of the parts that I liked and disliked (rmb that this is just my interpretation of watching it and is no way conclusive against other interpretations)

Spoilers below!

Likes

I like that Cavendish is kind of a turn-tables situation where queer/left-wing-progressive ppl are at the top of the social food chain. It realistically shows how even in a space where discrimination of any kind is prohibited, there will still be complex issues that need to be discussed, e.g., toxic positivity, accessibity issues etc.

I also like Eric's whole storyline of finding himself with God. I'm not religious or anything, but I feel his storyline are going to empower a lot of religious queer people.

Adam is always a favourite. His actor just brings so much to the table and his performance is always outstanding. His closure scene with Eric was 💖💖

I love that the show confronts Otis' standing of privilige and how he's sidelined his friendship with Eric. I also like how the main relationship that got repaired was his and Eric's. It's nice to see platonic friendships take the center stage over romantic ones.

I love that Maeve and Otis show how an amicable breakup, still full of love, can be. It shows that if you love someone, you'll love them enough not to hold them back.

Maeve's funeral speech, and her scene conversing with Jean at the dining table made me weepppppp.

I also loved the different ways of grieving the show shows with Maeve and Sean. Sean was clearly in pain, and as the older one, he'd probably seen a bit more shit than Maeve. And he was valid for not wanting to do the funeral because of the pain his mother caused him. But also, Maeve's wish to honour her mother one last time was commendable as well. She remembers the good AND the bad of her mother, and that's just really big of her.

I loved the scene with her telling her professor that a teacher's word holds a lot of power.

I love Maeve's arc entirely basically.

Dislikes

O's entire character was... problematic. Like she did quite a number of problematic things that weren't addressed in the storyline at all. Like she presses her way into other's vulnerabilities without them giving her explicit consent. She looks at things that by all terms, should have been left strictly confidential (Jean's paper about Otis, for example) and then brings it up as if it were a completely okay thing to do. I really wanted to like her, like I see where she was coming from and she has really cool style and she's the only East Asian rep for the show. Just, as an East Asian person watching this (though I'm not from the UK), it just felt very othering that the ONLY East Asian rep in the show had to be played against the main character. I didn’t like her because she was the story's antagonist to the main character. If there were other East Asians in the series, I might have felt better about it but like, O being the only one, and also being a problematic character just leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

I really think Adam's storyline could have been integrated more into the Cavendish storyline. Coz right now his just feels like it's hanging on the side with no real connection to the main plot. I love his horses tho.

The show should really have stuck with its existing characters rather than broadening the scope to... Jo, for example. Anwar and Olivia could have been explored. Idk what went on behind the scenes but like, for a final season, shifting the main focus to the main cast and just a couple new ones should have been enough. I love that it's working to be diverse and inclusive, but jam-packing so many different experiences into one last season just felt... jarring for the season's ending.

#sex education #sex education s4 #sex education spoilers #sex education season 4 #review #series review #thoughts #sex ed netflix #sex ed spoilers

[emblazons]

so I posted about how the mlvn breakup + Max talking to her mom leading into a Vecna vision making to clear the scenes were at the very least thematic parallels (while mentioning 2 other scenes where the track was used) but I got a couple of asks requesting clarity about what I thought the connection was, so!

Here's a video with all 4 uses of the alt-Eulogy included, with notes demarcating elements that make it clear they're the same.

the scenes are:

El losing her connection to Terry Ives in the Void in 'Will the Wise'

Hopper reaching out to El via radio when she's gone in 'The Spy'

The Mlvn Fight in 'The Monster and The Superhero'

Max's time with her mom turning into a Vecna vision in 'Dear Billy'

Each of these scenes has a familial love undertone (including the mlvn fight if you take all of my other 'parentified mike' commentary at value) while also carrying some element of loss of connection or emotional distance—aka an relational loss to the "actual" loss of death we see for the uses of actual Eulogy (which plays when Nancy cries over Barb while at dinner with her parents, and when Mike is talking about how a recently-dead Bob started the AV club).

TL;DR: when you look at all the other times this track has been used in the show, it becomes clear that its use for the mlvn fight is a coded signifier of the fact that Mike's "care" (and later 'love') for El is platonic-familial, rather than romantic—which is why he struggles to say it to her when she wants him to say it romantically.

Given the fact that in S1 we started with "will you be like my brother," them giving S5 being like 'S4 & S1 had a baby," it is clear with this (along with 4899273 other bits of evidence) that rounding back to the start with these two means we're getting breakup-meets-familial vibes from mvln come S5. Which, if you know El's arc is about found family rather than romance, makes complete sense! lmao

#it's been there every time always friends. they're platonic and like family...for good and bad across the board LMFAO #byler #< target audience #anti mlvn #el hopper #mike wheeler #jim hopper #max mayfield #terry ives #my st commentary #st parallels #st music #the me tag #st analysis #stranger things #parentified mike #st music analysis

[bebx]

honestly I don't expect sylki to happen at all at this point. the most I expect is some kind of platonic unity, like them standing with a shared smile a united force, maybe holding hands. unless they go with making them kiss before parting ways or something, a gratitude of what they've given each other. But if the show simply...continues the path it's setting itself on, sylvie will get to be free at the end, live and create her own life, have her own connections, her own friends, like we saw her so settled and at peace in. that would be best for her arc, best as the prize of them winning. unless they make it that she has to choose to sacrifice herself in order to save other people, for some sort of "growth" reasons. (but, that's still just unnecessarily killing her; not sylki.) they've fought, they've both helped each other, and now they grow beyond each other.

as for lokius...idk just being a realist? or pessimist? (optimist?? lmao) I don't expect, also, anything more than showing them as a ""platonic"" (heavily up for interpretation) united front. they'll succeed. they'll win each other at the end. they'll reside over the tva, with beautiful smiles for each other. because loki has no want expressed for a timeline life. his want, over and over, his need, is just to have mobius with him always (for all time). not just his desire for this friendship but the full, complete friendship he's already achieved, through growth, and grown from. he's changed (and he's in love), and he gets to keep it. we've seen him lose it again and again -- it will end with it remaining.

I honestly can't believe, just, the constant care, and softness, the gentle hands and voices he has for mobius. the way mobius's name is always the main one on his lips he's defending, arguing for, fighting for his rights and his happiness, always his advocate, fighting to keep with him as his literal main motivation, tears in eyes and on cheeks. "the man I know...you saved my life when I first arrived. you saw something in me that I hadn't seen in myself." the confession of it all. the high romance. the longing, the comfort.

I expect an ending where you can 1000% interpret them as being in love (because they are). (though with just enough openness that general audience can claim "friendship" if they so desperately need to.) but...any other network, like...the consummation of their romance is the endgame, the pinnacle of them both expressing and feeling what they mean to each other through a high-emotion kiss. because there's such emotional, textual, core-to-the-story setup for it.

either way, I expect loki to keep all his friends (unless ones like casey and B-15 would prefer their timelines), to keep the extra-special connection with mobius, crucially, and, honestly...for sylki not to be a thing or kiss at all, but just be on perfectly good terms with each other now. and if they do make them kiss, it can't break me, because I can read that as platonic, and everything he's felt for mobius as something more. the whole dynamics of their relationships was contained beautifully and perfectly in that bar scene. that's the crux of all of them. I loved it.

I mean I wouldn’t be surprised if marvel still made sylki endgame in the end (look at the steve and peggy case in endgame), but I do agree with you and I hope you’re right here. aside from the whole ship war thing, the bar scene between loki and sylvie feels to me like a breakup scene where both parties are on good terms and are still good friends, and that’s the vibes I genuinely get from loki and sylvie this season.

I’m genuinely happy for her that she finally got a place where she could call home and the people whom she could consider friends and family (not loki or mobius but the people she met in her new life).

making her and loki get back together romantically wouldn’t make any sense at this point. but again, knowing that this is marvel and disney, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if they pulled the sylki endgame in the season finale next week.

(there’s also rumor from people who claimed to have seen the entire season that loki and sylvie did end up together in the finale, and while I know there’s no way to confirm this until we all find out next week, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s true.)

also I agree with you about lokius. they wouldn’t make it “too explicit” but yeah, like you said, if they were to make lokius “canon”, the most they’d give the audience would be some hint that they could be more than best friends. but I wouldn’t expect an outright love confession or a kiss. would love to be wrong about this, but it’s too good to be true and I’d rather expect nothing than to have my hopes up too high and get disappointed lol

#my inbox is open #lokius #sylki #loki series #loki season 2 #loki #mobius #tom hiddleston #owen wilson #loki 2 #loki s2 #loki 2023 #loki x mobius #agent mobius #mobius m mobius #mobius m. mobius #sylvie #sylvie laufeydottir #loki tv #mcu loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #marvel #mcu #loki show

[all-the-heart-you-cannot-see]

REBELDE S2 WAS A HOT MESS (major spoilers ahead)

Plot

I think conceptually speaking having Gus as a villain this season was a good idea. Who can be a bigger enemy to music than s producer only interested in money who exploits his artists? I hated that he died in the end. Biggest wtf of the season, now he exits the next season completely and our mains are left to deal with the fallout in what most likely will be an attempt to copy Elite. Rebelde is about the music and the highschool drama not an student accidentally killing one of the most important producers in the country, what?????

Characters

Esteban was interesting this season, i like that tried to kind of make him the villain. Him getting sucked into Gus bullshit and doing whatever it took to be the best was a nice change from him being really plain last season. I hated him 80% of this seasons runtime but at least this was intentional on the writer's part. I'm so not looking forward to the murder plot with him next season.

Jana works better when she is alone than with Esteban, they make each other lamer, I thought her arc about not having to always please everybody was cool, and i don't think her conflict at the beginning of the season with MJ was nonsensical at all. She's 16, of course she's jealous of someone who could steal her spotlight, not to mention MJ was her friend and left her and the band to go with Jana's shitty ex lol. I like that the girls ended up together at the end and it didn't feel like something forced to me, so many things had happened to them by that point that the reason they were fighting in the first place probably felt stupid anyways.

Dixon is one my favorites lol, this guy is ride or die with everybody. He was willing to keep going with the band, to forgive MJ, he was even trying to help Esteban before he turned into an asshole, i think he's actually the most mature one of the bunch. Whether he was the best in the class depends on personal taste but I think it was well done in the sense that he was the only one to stand up to Gus and remain true to himself as an artist. I like his friendship with Jana cause we almost never get platonic relationship in teen media between girls and boys without feelings being involved, i screamed when they kissed but I hope they keep it as a "we were just too drunk" thing. I liked him with MJ at first, now I think he deserves better.

MJ didn't really have an arc this season, she was just doing her own thing, the actress is a really talented singer so I wish she was more present in the race for Gus's contract. I think she and Sebastian were pretty cute together but I could see their breakup coming from a mile away (more on this in his section). I didn't mind her bit with the pregnancy scare (sin gorrito no hay fiesta, guys) and i just want her to have more to do next season.

Fucking Sebastian. I like to believe that if he knew Gus was such a monumental asshole he wouldn't have done what he did at the end. I thought his arc about being a better person because of MJ was cute however what was wrong from the start is he was changing because of her so I knew the moment she was gone, he was going to go back. My guy just needs therapy and i would have more sympathy for him if his entire villain arc in s1 wasn't based around him being classist lol. (Also I can't believe we were doing the i can fix him in the year of our lord 2022).

I hate what they did to Andi and Emelia. I didn't mind Andi's addiction arc per se because it's pretty common in the music industry, I hate that it made her absent for a pretty good chunk of the major drama this season and that they broke her up with Emelia that way. The thing is, i don't think before the song thing they were actually "bad for each other" their relationship didn't have any major problems before so breaking them up was the most homophobic act of 2022.

Luka is above good and evil in the show, he's kind of an ass but he has been like that since day one and everybody has learned to tolerate him so really, he's just fun. I hope they would've spent more time with him an Okane being actually together but they are only a thing in the last 3 episodes and Luka is literally unconscious in the last one so we were given cruuuuuuumbs. I thought the scarf thing was really cute, I love them, please don't take them away.

I didn't expect much from Okane but he was a pleasant surprise. It's a shame they ruined his storyline with Jana by adding the sex tape thing because he gave her actual good advice (apart from the drugs) and i think they could have s great friendship dynamic, he could certainly make her more interesting. Idk where he went at the end, i just want him to be left alone in this entire bullshit plotline and be happy and home with Luka.

#rebelde netflix #rebelde #rebelde 2022 #luka colucci #okane #jana cohen #mj #dixon alvarez #esteban torres #andi

[canonicallyobserving911]

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

New Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic

Chapter 1 is now available on AO3.

__________

By the end of season 6, there were a lot of CANON “implications” about Eddie dating again that didn’t make any narrative sense along with Buck’s 1,001 storylines that weren’t concluded and it made everything about the completion of their arcs feel rushed and discombobulated.  There were too many unanswered questions with regards to Buck and Eddie, Eddie and Chris, Buck and Chris and The Buckley-Diaz Family for me to ignore.  Therefore, I’m writing this multi-chapter fic as a creative way to expound on the implications I found within their unfinished storylines because it’ll help me make sense of whatever the Frick Frack the showrunner(s) epically failed at with their sloppy execution at attempting to close their arcs at the end of 6x18 “Pay it Forward”.  The characters of Buck, Eddie and Chris and the actors OS, RG and GM DESERVE BETTER than a season 4 redux that included one-dimensional love interests for Buck and Eddie combined with unimaginative storylines. My plan for this fic is to give them the Happy Ending they deserve and the one a lot of the audience still hopes to see.

___________

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 1: 12K words Rated: Mature

___________

Summary:  Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike, they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it. As they journey through the next several months, they'll start working on themselves separately so they can be better. They've always been in love with each other but they know they'll have to learn how to love themselves first before they can become a couple.

___________

Here’s a snippet of Buck’s and Eddie’s conversation from Chapter 1.

___________

“Hey.” Eddie says as he sits down on the other end of the couch.

Buck looks up and responds. “Hey.”

They fall into somewhat of an uncomfortable silence and Buck hates it. He wishes they were able to talk to each other the way they used to but he knows he’s responsible for some of the distance they’ve allowed to keep them away from each other.

Eddie pulls out his cellphone and Buck wonders if they’re just going to keep playing this game of waiting on the other one to speak first.

Buck decides he’ll do it since Eddie hasn’t said anything else.

“I know we haven’t really been hanging out because…” He meets Eddie’s eyes and continues. “Uh, you’ve been dating Marisol and I’ve been dating Natalia but…”

Eddie raises his eyebrows at that since he knows he broke up with Marisol, well he doesn’t like to think of it as a breakup since they weren’t ever really together. They had two dates. Then he remembers he hasn’t told Buck about it since Buck seemed like Natalia seeing him made him happy. They’re not mad at each other but they haven’t been talking.

He responds with a little bit of tightness in his voice. “Buck… I haven’t been dating Marisol. We went on two dates but we both realized it wasn’t going to work out.” He trails off because he’s not sure if he should share the rest but he quickly decides to share it anyway.

A small smile crosses his face and he says, “We’re friends… just platonic friends... that’s all.”

Buck’s voice raises an octave when he responds. “Oh!”

He’s shocked Eddie’s single because he assumed he had been dating her but it turns out he hasn’t. Buck has to replay Eddie’s words in his mind again to make sure he’s not imagining it. Eddie said they’re just friends which means he could have done the same thing with Natalia.

He never thought about just being friends with Natalia but now he wonders if he should have. He leans back against the couch cushion and remembers the way he was the one who pursued for them to be a couple and then he tried to turn it into something more than just her wanting to learn more about his death. She went along with it but he knows in his heart they wouldn’t be dating if he hadn’t called her after their coffee date.

They fall into a long silence but they’re not looking at each other.

After several seconds, Buck finally says, “Well… that’s great.”

Eddie looks up and smiles at him. “Yeah, it has been. Since Chris is at Summer Camp, it’s been nice to have someone to talk to about stuff.”

That comment stabs Buck in the heart because he’s been so wrapped up in everything that he completely forgot Chris left for camp a few days ago and Eddie’s been alone. Well, not alone but he’s been on his own.

“You know you can always talk to me too, right?”

Eddie raises his eyebrows. “I know I could before but now… I’m not so sure.”

“What?” Buck asks with an affronted tone.

“It’s not like you’ve been available since you… never mind.”  Eddie shakes his head in disbelief.

“What Eddie?”

“I don’t want to argue Buck so let’s just drop it, ok?” Eddie exasperatedly responds. He knows he’s been there waiting for Buck to see but instead he chose Natalia and he said she sees him.  So Eddie needed to move on and that’s what he’s been doing.

__________

Continue reading on AO3

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family #911 fox #911 on fox #911onfox #911 abc #911 on abc #911 season 7 #911 season 7 speculation #911 fanfic #buddie fanfic #ao3 fanfic #Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 2/5

Book Blurb: A young woman tries to heal her heartbreak by casting a spell to erase her ex from her past, but she wakes up in an alternate reality where she’s lost more than she wished for in this witty, whimsical friends-to-lovers debut.

What if one little wish changed everything?

When Gemma gets dumped by her long-term boyfriend, she reacts the way any reasonable twenty-eight-year-old would: by getting drunk with her sister, kooky aunt, and best friend, Dax. After one too many margaritas, they decide to perform a love- cleansing spell, which promises to erase Gemma’s ex from her memory. They follow all the instructions, including a platonic kiss from Dax to seal the deal.

When Gemma wakes up, she realizes that this silly spell has worked. Not only does it seem that she never dated her ex, but the rest of her life is completely unrecognizable. The worst part: Dax has no idea who she is.

To reverse the spell and get back to her old life, Gemma must convince her once-best-friend-now-near-stranger to kiss her. But as she carries out her plans, she finds herself falling for him—hard. Soon, Gemma begins to wonder whether she even wants to go back to the way things once were. What if Dax was The One all along?

Review:

What if you got the chance to go back in time to find out if the best friend of your life is actually the perfect guy for you all along. Gemma has always played it safe, so safe she stuck around in a boring relationship for four years just despite not really being in love with her boyfriend... and said boyfriend then dumps her. The only dependable person to Gemma is her best friend Dax, the guy who will cancel a date to hang out with her, who will drop everything to be with her, and the one person she has kept strictly as a friend in fear of losing her friendship with him.... yet on the night of her breakup she kisses Dax and goes through with her aunt's spells for fun... not realizing that when she woke up it actually happened and now she's in a parallel universe/time in which she never became friends with Dax and she never dated her boring boyfriend. This is the perfect chance for her to see if Dax and her were always meant to be. The more she falls for him the more she begins to question whether she wants to go back to the way things were before and if she is ready to finally take a risk on the one guy she has never allowed herself to. This one unfortunately was a bit of a miss for me, I adore second chances/best friends to lovers storylines but I just couldn't stand Gemma at all. She really just got on all my nerves and I was so tired of her. I really wish I could like her and Dax together but I just didn't really see their romance. Dax was a great love interest and he was so sweet to Gemma, but honestly I felt meh about their overall relationship. If you enjoy magical realism/best friends to lovers storylines, definitely give this a go!

*Thanks Netgalley and Random House Publishing Group - Random House, Dial Press Trade Paperback for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

#book review #bookish #this spells love

[streetlights-was-taken]

stole this from twitter because I wanted to answer it too :P

1. do you re-read your own completed fic? if so, which one do you re-read most often?

the only completed fics that I have are oneshots. but yeah, I re-read my fics! I think I re-read staccato the most. it's a decade old so it had plenty of time for me to re-read it the most. it has a special place in my heart because I trusted myself to write more experimentally through it.

2. are there any unintended motifs or themes that show up a lot in your writing? how about ones that are intended?

unintended motifs: bittersweet pining, I think? I'm very comfortable with writing that sentiment and it comes up in a lot of my fics across fandoms. the kind of pining where the character has accepted the longing and the circumstances; the kind of longing where the person says, "I'm not happy, but it has to be this way" rather than "I wish it could have been different." I think there's power in acknowledging that some things are out of our hands, or perhaps it's just not the right time. we can be sad about it for as long as we want, and we should recognize that sadness, but our lives don't have to stop because of that regret.

intended motifs: I'm very fixated on the idea of playing around with non-human perspectives. I love characters that are androids, immortal, supernatural, etc. but have to otherwise act like humans. and I like emphasizing that. how they're not human, and the effort it takes to be human.

3. have you ever started to ship something after writing it? developed any new kinks after writing them?

I'll answer this for both romantic ships and platonic interactions. after writing long live the long life, I think dorian and mona would make a cute pairing, and that kunikuzushi and klee would have a cute sibling relationship. in forgetting is so long, I was happy to explore the friendship between erina and takumi.

unfortunately, I'm not brave enough yet to write explicit sex scenes in fics. but I already have too many kinks from reading, so I don't think writing would give me a new one lol. I think I'm pretty open-minded when it comes to that stuff anyway.

4. when (if) you re-read your fic, does it evoke the emotions it's supposed to in you? i.e. are you able to experience it not as the person who wrote it, but as you think any other reader might?

I wouldn't say emotions, but I definitely want to achieve certain vibes. sometimes I read arrhythmia and think, yeah the vibes in this fic are immaculate.

5. when you're writing, how often/how intensely do you actually feel the emotions that the characters in the scene are feeling?

these days... not that much. but that's a me thing lol. I'm not a very emotional person in recent years. I write very logically too. I write in themes and sequences and less in emotion. the most emotional fic I've written is probably forgetting is so long and it was really hard because takumi is very sentimental but also very prideful, and I wanted to strike the balance between that. though that was a sort-of breakup fic, and I wrote it after my own breakup. so that helped! (lol)

the only other truly emotional fic that got me was probably chapter four of the syllables melt away. well for one, it took me two years to write that chapter, so the frustration of getting that chapter to work was so real lmao. but there's something tender and vulnerable about that chapter that does speak to me whenever I re-read it. it's one of the hardest things I've ever written tbh.

6. what's the biggest risk you've taken with a fic?

hm, I have several I'm thinking about.

I think staccato was my first "risky" fic because it was my first time writing in a non-linear and experimental way.

long live the long life has a lot of risks for me. for one, I have never written such a long fic like this before. I usually just write oneshots lmao. so the planning for this fic is pretty new to me. for another, I'm doing a case fic for the second story arc and I think case fics are really hard to do. so I hope it turns out well.

this one is currently a WIP, but I'm writing this fic called time is a vinyl record. it's a little bit like a longfic version of staccato but for a different fandom. I'm playing with mixed media writing a lot -- the fic consists of prose, but also letters, transcripts, chat logs, photos, and a lot of other scattered "media" that collectively make up the narrative. it's a very fragmented style of writing. I'm using everything I've put in this workskin sandbox, so this fic requires a lot of work! I don't think it's an easy fic to read. but when I finish it, I hope someone finds it enjoyable to read anyway.

7. is there one (or more!) fic(s) where the process of writing it diverged wildly from your usual method? what was your experience like?

time is a vinyl record for sure! it's still an ongoing process, but I'm enjoying writing a "fragmented" fic and not just relying on prose. it forces me to think of the story through the perspective of different characters, since the letters and transcripts can come from different people, whereas my prose writing is usually stuck in limited third-person. I also have to continuously tell myself to trust the reader. I think I explain enough through prose, but I have to trust that the reader can figure out the story even through the non-prose sections. well, I'll find out if I'm right or not once it gets posted in the future lol.

8. what do you think is your comfort zone in fic? the one type of scene/trope/dynamic that you feel cofident you can nail every time?

oh this is easy! anything in the twewy universe. um, but I guess in general, "modern setting" and "snarky smart character who is fed up with another character" and "character study" fics are my comfort zones. I know this because I never have problems writing fics centered on neku from twewy. I also know this because I'm having a really hard time writing genshin fics (high fantasy worlds are not my comfort zone; urban fantasy worlds are okay though) but I just power through it lol.

while writing long live the long life, I had an easier time writing dorian because he's the snarky character who is fed up with albedo, and I had so much fun writing kunikuzushi because, well, he's very off-putting to a lot of people. I'm very comfortable with writing these kinds of characters.

I enjoyed writing arrhythmia for the same reasons. in genshin, I'm very comfortable writing albedo and kunikuzushi the most, probably because their way of thinking and feeling is more relatable to me. which is funny because I've written more words on venlumi than anything else, but they're actually very hard for me to write! their characters are so different from me, SO unrelatable, but so fascinating.

9. do you figure out the worldbuilding stuff like backstories before you start writing or on the fly?

a little bit of both?

if I know the fic will be long, I figure out the characters and setting in advance. but I leave myself room to improvise while writing. sometimes ideas don't really come out until you start actually writing.

but if I know the fic will be short, I just write on the fly and fully trust the discovery writing process. for shorter fics, I usually just want to go through a certain concept or vibe, and care less about plot.

10. do you like to share fic ideas as they come to you, or do you keep them close to the vest until they're done?

tbh I don't share fic ideas that much... sometimes I try posting about them on twitter or on my main blog but the actual sharing/posting doesn't really do anything for me lol. I do have this writing blog though, I guess, but it's really more of a writing diary for myself so I don't think this counts?

11. what's usually the first piece of a scene that comes to you? a bit of dialogue? a setting? emotions? sounds? etc.

I love this question, but I'll answer it a bit differently.

for the overall story (or a oneshot), the first piece that comes to me is a situation or a theme. for example, in arrythmia, the only thing I got going for me was, "a character study comparing the beloved puppet who doesn't understand love (albedo) and the unloved puppet who has a lot of love to give and no one to give it to (scaramouche)". lately, I'm really into setting up narrative foils, so I'm trying to rely on that more to guide my writing.

for specific scenes within a story... it depends? as I plot a story, I have these Key Moments that I want to happen, and they usually show up as images. so taking long live the long life, for example, one of the Key Moments I knew had to be included was this image of "a god praying" (venti wishing upon a star), "gods worshipping each other as their acts of love" (venlumi) and "a disgraced god in a battlefield, looking up for salvation from another god" (barbatos and lumine in tatarasuna island in act i). so I plot around those moments.

but as I write, I do have to write the scenes that build up to those moments. for those kinds of scenes, I actually write the dialogue first and then fill in the blanks from there. with character studies, I rely more on theme or dialogue to guide me through.

12. have you ever had to write something you really didn't want to (a scene, conversation, etc) because the story needed it to work?

yeah of course. I never want to write action scenes ever but sometimes characters do stuff and not just say stuff lmao. generally though, if I feel bored with the scene I'm writing then I don't write it into the story. if I'm bored then that means it's not worth writing or reading. action scenes are difficult to write, and I don't like writing them, but they aren't boring to write.

13. ever had to cut something you loved out of a fic because it wasn't working?

a lot of things!

in long live the long life chapter four, lumine was supposed to meet aether in inazuma, but I decided that it doesn't make sense for them to meet and then go on their separate ways again. in chapter five (interlude), I was going to write a scene where signora meets albedo and diluc in dragonspine. I don't think it belongs in the interlude before the detective arc starts, but I'll think about shuffling it to the later chapters.

in birth of a butterfly, I wrote a scene where venti plays poker in the shadier taverns of mondstadt, the ones that the knights turn a blind eye to. the scene was there so he can talk about luck and scams, and also to show that he has his ears on the ground since he's looking for intel on the abyss. I removed it in favor of the scene where venti plays cards with the tsaritsa instead.

in the syllables melt away, I rewrote chapter 4 so many times that it's really different now from what I first envisioned. joshua was not supposed to ask neku to be his conductor but uh. that happened and that one question kinda changed the trajectory of their relationship.

I've cut two twewy WIPs and stopped writing them because they weren't working. those two WIPs probably have 20k+ words together. I'm still kinda sad about them. maybe one day I'll find a way to write them again, especially the one where neku is the composer and joshua is the human who forces his way to the underground because he wants to be god (I have these ideas tagged in the main blog as twewy au: role reversal). I'm still very fond of that fic idea, but my twewy muse hasn't visited me in years. :(

because of this question though, I'm going through my drafts for the role reversal au. I don't think I can commit to the fic but... maybe I can try finishing one chapter of it at least. we'll see!

#postscripts

[offsidekineticist]

This one is unusually short, but it feels the right length.

CW: estrangement, ableism, chronic pain, lack of access to medication, very negative self-talk.

Without Results

Qweck has always reminded you of your brother. Her eyes–those bright, golden eyes–were so much like your brother's eyes. Her intensity could easily match your brother's at his most obsessed. Neither were the type to stand aside if there was something out in the world that needed fixing. Qweck was barely 13 when you were struck by the sobering realization that she would leave Brastlewark just as your brother did. At first you were so afraid you would lose her the same way you lost him, lashing out in pain when she left you forever, so you resolved that this time would be different. You had decades to come to terms with her place being beyond Brastlewark, to teach her that her path was hers to tread, and you would love her wherever it led her. And it worked–when she left, you accompanied Qweck to Ostenso, supported her as she petitioned to be accepted into the monastery, and then, when she was accepted, you said your goodbyes and returned home. She didn't write as often as you'd hoped, but you understood: she had her own life now, and you were relieved–and proud–to realize you didn't resent her for it as you had resented your brother. Qweck had left, but she wasn't lost. She still visited you. Still wrote to you. Still loved you.

And now you've gone and fucked it up.

“Pathetic. No self control, no discipline.”

He is not like he was when he left Brastlewark. Like you, he has lost much of the expressiveness of your youth, and what was once a frenetic energy demanding expression through fidgeting and pacing now appears as a coiled spring, carefully controlled but ready to explode at a moment's notice. But his voice is the same. His cadence is the same.

“I'm sorry,” you choke out, and it’s such a pathetic fraction of what you should tell him after what you said all those years ago, but it’s all you can manage when just the sight of him makes your hands hurt and your heart pound and your ears ring.

Your brother sneers at you. “‘Sorry’ means nothing without results. You’ve already proven you can’t change. You just hid behind the bleaching and pretended you had.”

He’s right. He knows he’s right, and so do you. It’s why you never bothered apologizing for your outbursts–how can you say you’re sorry for something you know you won’t stop doing? But you can’t accept that. You’re too broken to accept that, so you feel the rage rise up in you and take control and–

“And you hid behind your armor and your ‘duty’ and just abandoned your people to build a world where we can’t live!” you hiss through grit teeth. “When exactly did you decide you hated yourself so much that anyone like you didn’t deserve to live?”

But your brother is not who he was when he left Brastlewark. Your words don’t pierce him as they did then. He doesn’t fear your disapproval anymore. He doesn’t love you anymore.

“We both know,” he says, rolling his eyes, “that you are wildly extrapolating from your scant knowledge of Axis to justify why my leaving upset you. Why don’t you tell the truth for once, Theoven? Admit what it is that really frightens you?”

A coldness grips your heart, but still you barrel forward, hearing yourself repeat your worst mistakes. “Nothing frightens me anymore! I am a bleachling–the worst thing I could imagine has happened to me, and I’m still here. What do you think you could possibly do to me that would be worse?!”

“‘The worst thing you could imagine?’ Really?” He arches a brow sardonically. “The bleaching was never your worst fear. Your worst fear is one you have, by some miracle, avoided all these years: chasing away everyone who might have been willing to tolerate you. But even miracles must end. You’ve lost Brastlewark, and now you’ve lost Cleric Varnaj in the same way you lost me. How long until you’ve chased the halfling away, I wonder?”

You would clench your fists if they weren’t splinted. “Shut up,” you growl.

“You act like he’s beneath you,” your brother continues. “The fact that he hasn’t left you for that alone is a miracle. Given your reaction to his declaration of love, he likely holds even less affection for you than I do. Most likely he is held here by some guilt over his lies, or some obligation to care for you when you have nobody else. But how long do you think he will last now that he has to tolerate you alone?”

“I said shut up!”

“He’s going to realize soon that he can do better for himself. That he doesn’t have to stay and be treated this way. And when that happens, he will leave. You will be all alone, helpless, worthless, useless. Do you know what I think of that, Theoven?” A shark-like grin spreads across your brother’s face. “I think you’ll deserve it.”

The rage is too much. You need to get it out, but your body isn’t strong enough–it never was before the bleaching, either. That doesn’t mean you won’t try. You spring forward from your bed, reaching for your brother's neck to grab and squeeze until that disgusting smile slips from his face and he realizes what a mistake he’s made becoming your enemy.

You are awake. Arms are wrapped around you as you squirm, what was intended to be a howl of rage instead only a whisper.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok! You’re ok, Thay. You’re ok. It’s just me.”

“Regill?” you whisper.

“It’s me, Thay. It's Gilly.” You relax. Another nightmare, that’s all. You should have realized–words always became too heavy to speak when you saw him in Rivad, of course it was only a nightmare. You’ve already begun to forget what it was about, beyond the fact that your brother was there. You’re safe. Gilly is here, so you’re safe.

Gilly holds your head to his chest, one hand carding through your hair with the other on your shoulder, holding you close. “You’re alright. You’re alright,” he whispers softly, over and over, and you melt into his arms. You’re safe. Gilly is here, so you’re safe.

And then you remember why that should make you feel bad.

During the time apart, you had hoped that in time your feelings would fade. You don’t know if it’s because of everything that’s happened or if you are just innately weak, but you’re even more attached now than you were before. Even beyond the fact that he dresses you and feeds you and assists you in everything including basic bodily functions, you can barely bring yourself to sleep without him. When he goes out to buy food or takes a job, you spend the whole time on the edge of panic, curled up in a fetal position on the bed, wondering if he will come back. So far he always has.

You can’t be like this. You need to be stronger. Someday–someday soon–it’s going to be time for him to ‘pay rent,’ and he will damn another innocent to hell. You refuse to be party to that. You need to be strong enough to tell him no. You need to be strong enough to do the right thing. You need to be strong enough to send him away.

There’s a sudden, painful spasm in your right hand. It’s so intense, even compared to the usual ache, that you can’t help the half strangled moan that comes out of your mouth.

Giliys freezes. “Hands?” he asks. You nod into his chest.

“Hurts,” you whimper, disgusted with your weakness. “Medicine.”

He sighs. “I’m sorry, Thay. I can’t give you more.” You growl at that–actually growl, like an animal. You know why he says this–you don’t have access to medicinal flayleaf, so he’s dosing out an illegal recreational drug for you as a substitute. If the dosage ever goes too high, the drug will start working as intended and cause hallucinations. And given what you tend to see when you hallucinate, it’s probably better to endure the pain. But your hands don’t understand that, and neither does whatever takes over when you get like this.

“Then what use are you?” you watch yourself snap. Giliys starts carding his hand through your hair again, but you’re not having it. You push him away and settle on your side with your back to him, wincing at another throb of pain from your hands.

You hear a quiet sigh. “I’m sorry,” Giliys repeats quietly, almost defeatedly.

“‘Sorry’ means nothing without results,” you say, a faint sense of deja vu washing over you. “Now shut up and let me sleep.” There’s a long pause.

“Okay,” Giliys finally says. “Sleep well, Thay.”

You take a deep breath before closing your eyes. You will sleep through this pain. You will sleep through this anger. You will sleep without his comfort. You will learn to live like this. You will learn to live without him. You have to, or you’ll die.

#pathfinder wotr #pwotr pals #oc: theoven derenge #oc: giliys #knight-commander oc #The (completely platonic!) Breakup arc #part 13

[tiamat-zx]

How about Yasha?

An anon ALSO asked for Yash, so okay! Let’s do it!

Why I like them

She’s just as much an extension of Ashley Johnson as Pike was. In fact, she’s also very much like Ellie in TLOU: a vengeful sapphic that you do NOT want to cross as she is very protective of her loved ones. Also, she’s a very different kind of barbarian: one who hates being forced to fight and is weary of it, and who is deep down just the gentlest and sweetest radiant soul of an angelkin. And her rage is very much like a storm itself: slow and rumbling until the inevitable thunderclap that precedes the lightning strike of her blade.

She also became the first player character to undergo an entire subrace change: from a fallen aasimar to a protector.

WHAT I don’t like

Ashley’s numerous absences due to Blindspot as it left Yasha as little more than someone to jaeger and therefore she wasn’t able to truly participate in RP. It took until the show’s conclusion for her to finally come home and truly spread Yasha’s wings and show us the full extent of her character.

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

A bit of a two-fer.

First favorite episode: “A Storm of Memories”. The episode where we learned our first true glimpse into Yasha’s past, including the existence of Zuala and the first tease of Obann’s presence. It was the first time we could see past the perceived “metal goth angel” vibe to see who she is: a broken bird wanting to fly again.

And the second favorite episode: “Into the Eye”. Her dreamscape trial against the Stormlord’s elementals. The moment she fully embraced her purpose as his Avatar. She had desperately been seeking purpose, and had been wanting to establish her standing with the Stormlord. And then when he finally asked her The Question, “Where do you find your strength?”, she did not hesitate. She knew her purpose, had known it ever since the night before her date with Beau: to protect. It gave her the resolve to persist against the odds and survive the rest of the campaign.

And speaking of, I have to include a third: “Worth Fighting For”. Yes, the date night. Specifically, the moment she finally confessed her feelings to Beau and let herself be just as open and vulnerable as her partner was aiming to be.

Favorite season/movie

The Rumblecusp arc and the last few episodes before the pandemic. It showed us the beginning of her reconstruction and rebirth, manifesting in the harp performance in Vo and her dream where she gained her wings, forever shedding her fallen self and ascending into the protector she was meant to be. Also, it was the arc where she began to come to terms with her feelings for Beau. Slowly but surely, through small moments, up to the maiden flight. From there, those feelings that had begun to sprout since Kamordah continued to grow.

If anything, Rumblecusp was a turning point for many of the Nein. Yasha was someone that needed it most.

Favorite line

Is it wrong of me to say that my favorite line of Yasha’s would be the entire letter she wrote for Beau?

Aside from that, it would be what she said to Beau upon admitting her feelings: “I really care about you, and I just hope, if anything, that you know I’m… I'm so proud of the person that you've become. Just seeing where you started and where you are now, you have completely done that on your own. And I just, I'm-- You blow me away.”

Favorite outfit

Her Eiselcross outfit, with the Coat of the Crest.

OTP

Beauyasha, obviously. And of course, her first love, Zuala. I wouldn’t be doing her justice had I NOT acknowledged her. And PURELY on the platonic side, with Molly, as he was just as much a loved one as Zuala and Beau and he left an equally strong impact on her life.

Brotp

With Caleb. They are able to relate so well, both being Haunted Ones. Also, with Jester and Veth as a fellow chaos gremlin.

Head Canon

I believe her level 10 outfit was given to her by Obann, and he burned her old attire but spared her shawl intentionally, just to twist the knife on purpose. And while we don’t see her arms in her level 13 art due to the coat, I think she tore the sleeves from her level 10 outfit so she could have the Orphanmaker tattoo visible. But eventually, after the campaign, she disposed of the leathers entirely and began wearing plain clothes altogether and even got herself a haircut.

Also, she is taught druidic magic upon finally meeting Reani for the first time, to help supplement her gardening.

Unpopular opinion

She did not need a proper “arc” as she willingly didn’t want to go back to the Iothia Moorlands… at least until the finale where she went with Beau to find Zuala’s grave. As far as she was concerned, the past should remain in the past. And she chose to keep it that way by not seeking vengeance on the tribe and choosing to live in peace.

Also, “lifespan angst” is such a stupid thing to fuss over with them. Sure, Yasha WILL outlive Beau, but she will still be happy to spend as much of their life together as possible. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.

A wish

I wish for her and Beau to live a peaceful life for the rest of their days.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

For her and Beau to ever suffer a breakup.

5 words to best describe them

Angel, protector, lover, sapphic, sentinel.

My nickname for them

The “wolf” to Beau’s “lion”.

#Warriorbard2012 #yasha nydoorin #critical role #cr spoilers #ask game

[bane-lightwoodfam]

Cordelia, Lucie, and the soul-crushing pain of a FriendBreakup(TM)

Breaking from my Malec-centric content for a sec to talk about the ladies of Chain of Iron because, of all the many broken hearts to come out of Chain of Iron, I wanted to SadRant for a sec about Lucie and Cordelia’s particular parting. 

These heroines have such different journeys throughout the series so far, but especially in CoI. Their interactions slowly peter out in the second book, and it hurtsss.

Lucie’s is a journey to understanding her Ghost powers, obviously. Particularly in relation to Jesse and how to un-ghost-ify him. This involves a growing relationship between her and Jesse (and by extension; Grace) and a growing distance between Lucie and essentially everyone else. Particularly between her and Cordelia. This girl is exhausted by the lies, half-truths, and sneaking around, and might not feel half so weary if she were able to confide in her parabatai-to-be. But she can’t. Which is just. So fuckin’ sad. But at least she can sort of confide in Grace.  Meanwhile, Cordelia’s dealing with fraught loyalties between her brother and her husband’s best friends. She’s coming to terms with the discovery that a father she’d once respected and sought justice for is actually a belligerent drunk who’d stolen her brother’s childhood and neglected their family for years. She’s entering into a (perceivably) loveless marriage with the boy she has (perceivably) unrequited feelings for and moving out of her home and away from her family to do so. Followed shortly thereafter by her father’s sudden reappearance and subsequent violent murder. She’s operating under a suffocating sense of ineptitude and failure at the hands of Lilith as well as a broken heart all on top of a crushing new distance between herself and her parabatai-to-be. (Which?! Holy shit?! I don’t know about anyone else, but never in my life would I be able to handle even one of these things without the support and love of at least one of my closest friends.)(I was so fucking stoked when Matthew swept her away for Platonic Paris Extravaganza. I just hope Cordelia actually gets to enjoy herself, because holy fuck does she deserve a little fun.)  All of which leads to page 589--one of the realest, blink-and-you-miss-it soul-crushing moments of the trilogy yet, in my opinion;

“It seems [Lucie and Grace] know each other rather well.”

“They do?” The surprise in Cordelia’s eyes was clear. She glanced away quickly, though. “Never mind, Anna. It’s not important.”

I THINK THE FUCK IT IS.

I don’t know how many of us are twenty-somethings who remembers exactly what it feels like to be a third-wheel to one of your best, most deeply beloved friends (esp as a teenager)...but damn, I sure do. That’s a mindplague unmatched by any breakup; it’s a completely different kind of hurt and betrayal.

But Cordelia swallows it down. Because Lucie’s the sole person who could’ve brought her comfort in that moment.

None of this is to say I didn’t enjoy Lucie’s journey or her arc so far. And none of this is to say I don’t want to see more of Grace in the next book, because I definitely fucking do--especially in relation to her burgeoning friendship with Lucie. (I loved their prickly 'are we friends or are we just kinda forced to trust each other’ thing. I love their mutual love for Jesse. I want their friendship to develop and evolve, because I think Grace, in particular, desperately needs girl friends. She has a lot to atone for, but I think she has such incredible potential as a Ride or Die friend.) 

But I also desperately want Cordelia to be re-embraced into Lucie’s confidence. I need Lucie and Cordelia to have the most epic makeups of any reunion we’ve seen yet; I’m talking week-long sleepover brimming with gossip and jokes and cake and heart-to-hearts. I need Lucie to become the trio’s fiery lynchpin. Because let’s be honest, James and the Gracelet are going to complicate things between Grace and Cordelia, and only Lucie knows the side of Grace that is as ruthlessly devoted to her brother as Cordelia is to hers. (Not to mention the fact that Grace would flourish under Cordelia’s mom-friend vibes. Imagine the chemistry between quicksilver, ruthless Grace and snarky-sweet Daisy. That’s a slytherin/hufflepuff ‘I would die and/or murder for you’ pairing if I’ve ever fucking seen one.) Mostly I just need Cordelia’s dreams to come true; for her to wield Cortana again, for her to become Lucie’s parabatai, and for her to be loved (which let’s be real she totally already is but we all know who she'd like to officially call “hubby”.) 

In conclusion, I love the Merry Thieves. They’re cute and fun. But as a girl who DEEPLY FUCKING TREASURES EVERY LAST ONE OF HER GIRL FRIENDS and DEEPLY FELT CORDELIA’S HOPELESS “I can’t be Lucie’s parabatai” confession, I so badly need that good good Cordelia/Lucie content and Cordelia/Lucie/Grace trio in the final book. 

#CoI #chain of iron #chain of iron spoilers #Cordelia Carstairs #Lucie Herondale #Grace Blackthorn #Merry Thieves #TDA #TMI #Cassandra Clare #The Last Hours #The Last Hours series #TLH #my writing #THANKS FOR COMING TO MY SADRANT REFRESHMENTS AT THE DOOR

[olivieblake]

KSIGJICNRJCNEHCBD HELLO HELLO WELCOME TO THE HELL THAT IS KNOWING ZUTARA IS EVERYTHING AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN AS SUCH !!!! wow i love that you are as angry as i was (and am every rewatch? yikes) this is amazing i knew you're my favorite but yeah wow man this really. confirms it whew high five

yeah it’s pretty wild how I knew this was what happened and was already bracing for it and yet STILL got completely misled by the narrative??? MEN I tell you MEN. I’m also going to use this ask as a method to reply to some of the other commentary if you don’t mind since this seems like a good place for communal frustration (here is my original post for anyone scrolling around lost)

@meg-hemmings: I agree with all of ur thoughts and I would TOTALLY read anything you wrote for Zutara … your writing is among my absolute favorite ever and I think you would write the Zutara dynamic so beautifully!

@one-man-propaganda-machine: I am - begging - you to write it yourself.

I... am not going to make promises, but I may have to. I want something very specific and that never bodes well for me. I doubt it would be more than a one-shot, but there are multiple scenes that could have occurred between episodes that would flesh out what was there (and of course I’d cut the final 15 seconds of the show, much like another epilogue I loathe and ignore)

@deifiliaa: omg atla discourse in 2021; olivie, i’d love to see what your character tier list looks like now that you’ve finished the series 👀

I’m going to put azula at the top. not because she’s a good person obviously but she’s FULL. OF. HITS. every time she’s on the screen the narrative gets immediately more interesting. she’s savvy and self-assured and I love it. her ending depressed me although I like that it was kind of about the loss of her two best friends? if that had been more of a focus I think I would have enjoyed it more but yeah, losing mai and ty lee could have been rightfully devastating. who among us is not totally obliterated by friend breakups. I also really loved uncle iroh; if anything that’s why I wasn’t invested in zuko’s storyline until close to the end, because watching him disappoint his uncle was very difficult (I get it, he’s a teenager, he’s growing and evolving and whatnot, but also I am closer to being his uncle than to being him so like, yeah). I also hope the peter pan revenge guy (JET that’s his name, sorry pregnancy kills my brain cells) did hook up with both katara and zuko. I love that journey for all three of them. I wanted more time with mai than we got, so there wasn’t quite enough there to love... but I was very down with ty lee interfering on her behalf. what a pivotal moment

of the core characters I think I was quickest to love sokka; the episode where he apologizes to suki and asks her to train him cemented it for me. I think it’s a big deal to show boys apologizing on-screen and owning their misconceptions. I like katara a lot—she’s what a lot of people do with fanon hermione. toph is also great, and part of me feels there is a strong basis for a ship with aang that balances their opposing energy, though I also like the idea of them being platonic besties. aang is... twelve. pretty much every time he was on the screen mr blake (a teacher) was like “man, aang is such a seventh grader,” so it was nice how convincing that was for his emotional journey, but at the same time it was hard to forget he was in seventh grade. appa and momo are STARS. I am sure I have mentioned this before but mr blake really loves animals and he was devastated by appa’s kidnapping; he hugged our dog for about ten minutes after aang found appa. after he decided I was zuko, he speculated that he is closest to aang but he’s not happy about it lol. “ugh, aang and I are such boring pacifists” was I believe his take on the subject

@libbynico, who for some reason I can’t tag: so true! katara was literally something like a mother/older sister figure to aang the entire time, but whatever

yeah, I think it really sucks that katara, as the emotionally nurturing character, felt shoved into the role of love interest. it’s everything wrong with the distribution of emotional labor in male-female relationships but sure, WHATEVER, apparently nobody thought to ask me in 2008

@touslesnoms: I liked “such selfish prayers” by andromeda3116 if you ever decide to read zutara after the series; the worst prisoner by emletish is super funny too

thanks for the recs! I will take them. I do want something very specific so I will be accepting recs until I find it lol. or until I lose composure and write it (yeah this is me WITH my composure, no wonder mr blake thinks I’m zuko, “I’m never happy” indeed)

@gaeleria: THANK YOU!!! Ugh omg that “I’m confused” kiss scene made me actively hate the ending. I knew ahead of time they were endgame, so I tried to make myself accept it early on. Like, I really didn’t like the pairing, but I wasn’t going to be emotionally invested in the romance and it was just going to be like, whatevs. AND THEN THEY WROTE THAT SCENE??! 1000% no. What was even the point of that scene? If they had written it to make Aang have some introspection and realize it’s not all about him, Katara’s feelings matter too, or even apologize, or anything… but no, there was literally no point to that scene. No character growth, it was never mentioned again. Ugh.

this is in answer to both you and beloved @zabbini: yeah this was a fuck-up for sure lol. I think it may come down to editing for time; the series is very irregularly paced, what with the majority of the action taking place in the final three episodes of a 16 episode season. or maybe it’s just because MEN CAN’T BE TRUSTED TO WRITE ROMANCE but either way yeah this was a real misstep and just truly, truly reeked of a particular (white) male attitude about how women think and what they owe. had a bad day, dudes? buy a gun, kiss your forever girl, do whatever you want and it’s fine! (I’m exaggerating but barely)

in terms of what’s so angering for me: a character like katara who previously had tons of agency was robbed of it when it came to her romantic arc, which is just really upsetting. and to be fair, I was equally upset when zuko instantly agreed to the agni kai with azula because it was like okay well katara’s extremely valuable, as you know, but now you want her to just sit on the sidelines...? (more of a story flaw than a relationship flaw, but my chest sunk a little at the idea that katara was going to sit by and watch as an accessory to zuko’s story when she’s a crucial weapon in their collective fight. what a waste, right?) 

it’s also especially hard to buy into the aang thing when zuko’s method of problem-solving on katara’s behalf is there for comparison. he asks her what she needs in order to find closure and then from there, does everything necessary to get it without having to be asked twice. versus aang, who is a twelve-year-old pair of rogue lips who never wins any of his fights without the aid of phenomenal cosmic powers...? ugh I’m getting off track but in the end there’s just a complete lack of understanding what female audiences want, though again, I don’t think they were really considering that at all. which I guess is... fair, it’s not the point of the show, but then why make the ending romantic at all? to show that their brand of hero gets everything he wants, I guess

in conclusion in 2008 I’m not sure the industry was capable of doing better, which sucks but isn’t surprising. still, it does fit the components of “stuff I write fics for,” which is I enjoyed most of it but find myself enraged by slivers I compulsively need to fix—WHICH IS STILL NOT A PROMISE but ugh I can already feel myself giving in 

#avatar the last airbender #zabbini

[bronanlynch]

weekly (monthly?) media roundup

ok so I do want to actually do these on some sort of schedule but unfortunately, as you already know, brains,

listening: Malice in Wonderland by Fangbanger, which I found from a tumblr post that described them as band for “if you have a complicated relationship with gender, had a falling out with god, hate the government, or just think that vampires are neat" and y’know? yeah. my notes on this song from several weeks ago are that I might not know any of these people’s genders but I do know they’ve listened to MCR

reading: the new Cassandra Clare book, Chain of Iron. it’s boring and homophobic. in the first book of this series, we find out that the heroine’s brother is gay and in a relationship with a man who has no intention of ever coming out publicly because 1) the book is set in 1903 in England, it was literally illegal and 2) he’s trying to have a career in politics. the heroine decides that this means he’s ashamed of her brother and doesn’t deserve him, and she is present and active in their breakup conversation.

above is the relationship chart I made from the first book, it really hasn’t changed much except now the main guy and the main girl are married, the lesbians got back together and then broke up again, the main girl’s gay brother hooked up with one of her husband’s friend, who’s a Good Gay and therefore worthy of love unlike the Bad Gay ex who is constantly mocked by just about every character for. checks notes. caring about appearances and manners given that his life and career are based on those things. the brother and his new love interest break up because the brother still thinks he’s a bad person for ever having dated his ex. also the main girl has now platonically run off to Paris with her husband’s platonic soulmate who is allegedly in love with her but it’s really unconvincing that he’s not actually in love with her husband (he’s not for very stupid lore reasons, the whole ‘parabatai are magically prevented from being romantically in love, except for these two straight people, when historically parabatai pairs were two men’ makes my fucking blood boil)

you might ask why I still read these books even though they make me angry and the answer is the 1) the aesthetic slaps 2) some of the characters are fun 3) the premise has enough potential that it could be good if it was good 4) sometimes I need to get cathartically angry abt bad fiction bc it just. does not matter

watching: so many things that I’m gonna just. run through them real quick

Word of Honor: gestures vaguely at how it’s slowly taking over my blog

Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty: love a found family, eh about the politics, can’t believe I predictably got a new fave character within the last two episodes of the show because one of the main characters is betrayed by his second-in-command and I think treason is the sexiest part of a relationship

SamBucky show: in the original draft of this post I said that it was so boring that week (episode 3) that I completely forgot about it until I saw the draft below this one talking about how bad and boring it is. at least more happened in later episodes and they’re finally giving me some tasty queerbaiting but the premise and the politics are. wow. it sure is military propaganda

My Hero Academia: new season is fun, love a tournament arc. don’t love that they tell us right away that the double agent character is a double agent, it was more fun in the manga when you’re not sure if he’s a traitor or not for a pretty long time

Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun: new season is cute, there sure is some gender happening. there’s a tsundere bisexual catgirl

Backflip!!: I usually avoid high school sports anime for backstory reasons but my roommate wanted to watch it with me and oh boy these gymnasts sure are gay for each other huh

Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood: my roommate pitched this to me as ‘cyberpunk but in the 1930s’ and there sure is dark lighting, lots of glowy neon stuff, and government oppression, which are the most important elements of cyberpunk apparently. not sure how I feel about it yet, because there’s a cool shapeshifting lady assassin with a revenge quest but there’s also a trans character who was revealed to be trans in a way that I personally did not enjoy. yes you can have transphobic villains but like. hmm. maybe the audience shouldn’t find out that someone is trans because the villain cuts his shirt away specifically to ~put him in his place. or maybe I personally am just sensitive to that but either way no thank you

on the other hand, the main character is sick as shit

The World Ends with You: god I love an anime about the power of friendship. I’ve only had these kids for two episodes and I would lay down my life for them

Nirvana in Fire: we’re only three episodes in and I did spend the first half of the first ep being like. oh god which of these people are actually important who am I supposed to care about here. and then by the end of the first ep I knew which ones I cared about and am now very afraid for their safety. do love the political intrigue though

playing: got through the first mission of Brigmore Witches. I love a good undercover mission, I wish I hadn’t been too afraid of like. alarms going off if I freed the other prisoners because I think Comrade Daud should do a jailbreak, and Lizzy Stride can call me anytime

also recently have played various ttrpgs including Firebrands, more Things, Eldritch and Terrifying, Link, and of course more Beam Saber (oh shit I meant to do my recap post for last session OOPS)

making: Zan and I made some real good chicken parm the other night, vaguely based on this recipe. by which I mean, we looked at the recipe to see how many eggs to use and how long to cook it and pretty much nothing else. the egg marinade step seemed unnecessary and I made the sauce the way I always make tomato sauce, which some day I should write down because it does in fact fuck. the secret is a shit-ton of oregano and basil and no chunks of tomato because fuck that. bad texture

Zan made the zucchini which also slapped, using some of the leftover bread crumbs

writing: I’ve posted a couple of things but most recently I wrote some rarepair femslash. this is the first fic for this ship on ao3 and the second ship in the f/f tag for this fandom that’s actually about the women in the show (as opposed to showing up in the f/f tag because it’s marked as “multi” or like. genderbent versions of the main m/m ship) but like. look at them. they’re terrible evil assassin women and they’re in love. anyway I’ve gotten over being embarrassed about having written a sex scene and moved on to wanting people to read my fic. there’s sparring as foreplay it’s a good time

#dreaming.txt #tuesday no problem extended universe

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 138: Kevin Party

“Did you guys break up? Can seven-year-olds even do that?”

Remember Doug Out?

The 125th episode of Steven Universe is a small but very fun story about Steven Universe and Connie Maheswaran, two best friends who work as a team to solve a mystery. Steven is already a teenager, and if Connie isn’t thirteen yet she’s awful close (she’s twelve and three quarters on Steven’s midsummer birthday, and school has been in session since Mindful Education), but this feels like a pair of children on an adventure. They’re chaperoned by Connie’s dad, they wear silly disguises and use sillier aliases, and they outright say that their goal is to “ruin some teen’s night.”

Doug Out ends in a cliffhanger, which leads directly to Steven’s abduction, which leads directly to Steven’s journey to and escape from Homeworld, which leads directly to the Breakup Arc, which ends here. That’s fourteen consecutive episodes telling one long story, which happens to be the same number of episodes between Catch and Release kicks off Peridot’s conversion and Hit the Diamond ends our barn adventure. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Act II and Act III of Steven Universe have similar sweeping midpoint storylines: both see a radical change occur, and while our middle act’s is more obvious (two new Gems join our crew and Steven saves the dang planet), Act III has the more important development for Steven himself. Because at the beginning of its sweep, Steven and Connie are kids, and at the end, they’re teenagers.

Granted, I see anyone under the age of 25 as a “kid,” but Kevin Party is a distinctly adolescent episode. The Breakup Arc as a whole covers new ground that a typical kid’s show wouldn’t, and even the one episode without much angst for Steven is about a bunch of teens starting a band. But it’s a whole new step to set an episode at a high school party, complete with drinking (age-appropriate drinks, I’m sure) and no adult supervision. 

After five episodes watching Steven either stressing about Connie or working his way through his guilt, it’s wonderful and devastating that when we finally see her again, she's having a blast. Her new look is one thing, but her effortless mingling with strangers is my favorite thing about Kevin Party. This isn’t a new aspect of her personality. She’s probably been like this for a while. But it’s the first time we’re seeing it, because it’s the first time Steven is seeing it.

In Bubble Buddies, Connie started out so shy that she feared dying without making a single friend, while Steven was so gregarious that he couldn’t help befriending everyone he met. Now he’s the awkward one, reduced to asking the likes of Kevin for advice, and she’s bloomed out of that social anxiety. And it’s not just a matter of her friendship with Steven changing her, even though that’s a major inciting incident: after he helps her come out of her shell, she’s able to practice interacting with peers on a regular basis in a scenario that’s way more helpful in understanding normal human interactions than anything in Steven’s life, because Connie goes to school.

There’s an unstated and uncomfortable truth that Connie needs Steven to have access to his magical world, creating an uneven power dynamic that’s easy to ignore because it fits into the general role of how a main character and side character work on a show like this. But Kevin Party‘s biggest reveal is that just because she needs him if she wants to have cosmic adventures, she doesn’t need him to have a fulfilling life, and she doesn’t need his friendship to be happy.

Thank. Goodness.

Codependency isn’t something to aspire to, and while Steven isn’t intentionally possessive of Connie (yet), their fight boils down to him treating her like a sidekick, someone who gets to do magic stuff with him under his terms. We don’t get to see what she was up to during the Breakup Arc, but I’m so glad her laughter here isn’t performative. She has enough self-worth to not define herself by the boy she likes or the adventures they share, and even if she’s upset that they’re in a fight, we know from our first look at her that she’d be okay if they never ended up reconciling. And that makes her choice to reconcile so much stronger than just shoving them back together because they’ve been apart long enough and the status quo demands it. She doesn’t need Steven in her life, but she wants him in her life, and that’s the difference between an episode about Connie remaining a sidekick in Steven’s mind and an episode about Connie establishing herself as an equal.

Steven and Connie’s affection has always bounced between platonic and romantic, and I love that even now we keep it ambiguous. Steven wears the shirt Connie got him in Steven’s Birthday, which is a gesture of friendship but occurs in an episode that dances around their mutual crush (complete with actual dancing). The moment of seeing each other again is shot like running into an ex, with time slowing down to let the absolute horror set in as the rest of the party fades, but Steven still refers to her only as his best friend. Kevin makes some of the subtext text through his confusion over the status of their relationship, but even if they’re teens now, these two are still young enough that don’t know how to express their deeper feelings.

Sadie Killer gets our guard down just long enough that Kevin Party’s new surge of drama hits like a truck: this is the original show’s most direct predecessor to the tone of Steven Universe Future’s latter half, where the anguish of watching Steven flounder in his relationship with Connie comes to a head. He makes the same mistake here that he’ll make in Together Forever: he’s so desperate for advice that he doesn’t question its source. Which is doubly frustrating because Greg Universe, who has told several stories on-screen about navigating a new relationship, is just a phone call away! I’m not saying I wish Steven actually called him, because all teens make mistakes and there’s any number of reasons he wouldn’t want to ask his dad in the moment, but it speaks to Steven’s inability to think straight when it comes to Connie.

In his final appearance, Kevin shows the closest thing he’s got to depth by helping Steven the only way he knows how. And unlike Beach City Drift, where he makes up a tragic backstory just to be a troll, it’s clear that the mysterious Sabine did a number on Delmarva’s biggest jerk. But I’ve got no patience for the notion that this episode is anything near redemptive for a guy whose idea of being helpful involves emotionally manipulating a vulnerable fourteen-year-old boy into emotionally manipulating a vulnerable thirteen-year-old girl.

Here more than ever, Kevin contrasts Steven’s self-destructive selflessness by being a black hole of self-importance. He only cares about Steven inasmuch as Steven can help him be more popular, not even bothering to ask for his name until it serves his needs. He’s so oblivious to his surroundings that he confuses Lion for a dog (saying that he’s allergic to dogs is a somewhat funny joke, but talking up Connie’s new life by saying she has a dog now is hilarious), and goes out of his way to antagonize his guests. To Steven, other people exist to be helped, which has noble roots but is catastrophic for his self-image. To Kevin, other people exist to admire Kevin.

“Psychopath” is a strong word, and I don’t wanna exaggerate Kevin’s villainy because that takes away from what makes him so insidious: unlike the Final Boss feel of the Diamonds, there’s an abundance of regular people who do the same awful stuff that Kevin does, and acting like he’s some extreme case detracts from the mundanity of everyday evils. Moreover, I remain unqualified to be an armchair psychologist, and the Hare Psychopathy Checklist has plenty of valid criticism, so take any diagnosis using it (or really any psych profile that involves a checklist you can do from home) with a grain of salt. But with all that said, I’ll just leave a link to it right here and let y’all do what you will with it.

The Big Talk gets five and a half episodes of buildup, and it doesn’t disappoint. It’s so perfect that Connie’s reaction to negging is to do what she always does when she sees someone behaving badly: she gets mad and calls it out. Steven’s typical approach to unkind behavior is to double down on his friendliness, but Connie will always put her foot down and demand kindness, whether you’re her best friend or a galactic tyrant. New hair aside, Connie isn’t the one that changes over the course of the Breakup Arc: it begins with her making it clear that she’s hurt while Steven ignores her, and it ends with her making it clear that she’s hurt while Steven listens.

I love that Connie requires no prompting to explain why she didn’t text Steven back, because Full Disclosure shows that she understands how much it hurts to try and connect with a friend who won’t respond. I love that she did go back to talk with him in person while he was on vacation (meaning all of this could’ve been worked through way sooner) because adolescence is suffering and we needed one last little twist of the knife in this arc. And I love that Steven is wise enough to just admit what he did instead of try and defend himself, because their whole fight hinged on his refusal to acknowledge the gravity of his actions, both to Connie and to himself. He doesn’t say the word “sorry” until the very end of his admission, because he means it and wants to provide context for the apology rather than just say “I’m sorry” a bunch.

And it’s so perfect that they don’t end up forming Stevonnie during their reconciliation, and not just because that would’ve given Kevin a win. They make up, but it still takes time to let the lingering pain go away, and it makes Stevonnie’s reappearance in our next episode way more meaningful. After one last display of their fundamental contrast—Steven expresses sympathy for Kevin’s situation with Sabine, while Connie shrugs it off because having a backstory doesn’t mean it’s okay to be a toxic douche—they leave the world of teen parties behind, at least for now. They’ll go back to more adventures right away, traveling to space in Lars of the Stars and Jungle Moon, but they’ll never truly be the same.

Thank goodness.

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

I love that Stevonnie’s disdain for Kevin is here for us even when Stevonnie doesn’t show up in the episode.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

It’s not just the catharsis factor that gets this in my Top 25. Kevin Party is incredible at capturing the dread I associate with this type of teen party as someone who often felt like Steven as a kid (three traits that don’t work well with teen parties, even if like me you were a fairly social teenager: clinical depression, teetotalism due to the double whammy of that depression and family history of addiction, and having a bad ear that makes it impossible to hear people talk when the music gets loud enough). Beyond the personal connection, we also get one last look at the show’s greatest villain, and an episode that respects Connie so much more than a normal cartoon would. This is how you end an arc, folks.

Top Twenty-Five

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Back to the Kindergarten

Steven’s Dream

Kevin Party

When It Rains

The Good Lars

Lars’s Head

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Storm in the Room

Room for Ruby

Lion 4: Alternate Ending

Doug Out

Are You My Dad?

I Am My Mom

Stuck Together

The Trial

Off Colors

Gemcation

Raising the Barn

Sadie Killer

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Rocknaldo

Dewey Wins

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

Tiger Philanthropist

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

#kevin party #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

[aceandpetty]

If I may be so bold on this Christmas Day: I loved WTFock season 3. I did not think the writing was bad and I really liked a lot of their choices. It touched on or expanded themes that really needed to be seen and discussed. I don’t think the arc on the hate crime was cheaply employed (Milan and Robbe talked about it more than once and we saw with Zoe, WTFock is better at integrating other season’s storylines into the next than other remakes) and I don’t think this will be the last time it’s brought up. The flat share dynamic was the best of any remake I’ve seen. King Senne was a gift and a treasure (his respect for Zoe/his friendship with Milan/standing up to his brother/his mentorship of Robbe). I appreciated the exploration of Zoe’s trauma. The breakup of zoenne made sense. Milan is a superior guru hands down. The love and care between queer men who were both platonic (Milan and Robbe) and romantic (Sander and Robbe) was on point. Mama IJzermans being hospitalized and seeking help, Robbe calling a therapist, Zoe seeing a therapist, and Sander checking himself into a hospital after his manic episode was great to see. Real and uncomfortable examples of unhealthy friendships (broerrrs), teenagers’ homophobia (Moyo et al.), codependent relationships (Britt/Noor), and intimate partner abuse (Britt and Sander) are necessary to confront, especially in queer media. Organic redemption arcs for characters that have fucked up (the boy squad/Jens/the girl squad/Moyo/Yasmina). People being checked on how they think and speak about the mentally ill (moyo’s mama). Tackling internalized homophobia in its ugliest of forms for once. Not pulling any punches. Robbe becoming more himself as a character. (Siblings Robbe and Zoe, taking care of his mama, talking to his dad, allowing Milan to comfort him, listening to Senne, his bromance with Yasmina, being patient with Aaron, breaking up with Noor out of respect, his adoration and acceptance of Sander for who he is so completely.) Healthier and happier and improving his life by seeking help. 10/10. Sander being so easy to adore and root for as an Even. His and Robbe’s dynamic of mutual care and support. The best O Helga Natt next to the OG and you can fight me. The list goes on. Not saying it was perfect: no show is. All Skam remakes need to discuss safer sex. Include more trigger warnings. So on. Just saying I enjoyed the hell out of it and the dialogue it created was worth it. Will watch again.

#wtfock #season 3 #robbe ijzermans