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undead-supernova · 3 months

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HIGH TOLERANCE

Part 4 / Part 5

Masterlist

warnings: mostly warning free outside of alcohol consumption, arguments, a hint of spice, and emergency cigarettes

pairings: bestfriend!modern!eddie x fem!reader

plot: sometimes you just gotta clear the smoke

wc: 5.2k

note: omg this is the last part! I'm very proud of myself for setting out to finish my first ever Eddie series (with my next one coming up quick - next week to be exact) and I thank anyone who has actually read this ! I'm very grateful that there are people who actually enjoy my work. It means a lot. I love doing this so so much. I can’t wait to share with you what’s next !!!!!!

Part 5: "Tolerance Break"

How the fuck did you end up agreeing to go to another karaoke night?

No, seriously. What the hell was wrong with you?

Okay, maybe you were being a little too mean to yourself. But didn’t you deserve it after everything that transpired between you and Eddie?

There was something that was beginning to float away from the two of you, something that felt familiar. It was exactly what you’d feared, the teetering in and out. No calls, no texts. Nothing there on your screen, left for dead on your bedroom floor most days as you blocked out any and all noise you could. Only listened to the kind of metal and screamo that sounded like fuzz, where their lyrics were practically incoherent from their gutteral screams. Played every goddamn Lego game on your Xbox and, yes, you specifically avoided clicking on Lego The Hobbit.

And to be fair, you hadn’t responded to any of the texts Eddie did send that first week. You had hope that he would show up like a knight in shining armor, taking your silence as a chance for him to be a hero—as if that was a justified response.

Because silence equaled confirmation that you were done. And confirmation that you were done meant that Eddie had to respect whatever boundaries you’d put up. Despite this, you stared at the door whenever you came home. Left a light on in the middle of the night just in case his knock woke you.

Just in case. Just in case.

But this wasn’t coping.

This was your own personal hell.

Because you also knew about the back and forth with Steve, the hopeful glances and longing stares. The missed chances and opportunities and the stupid, stupid mistakes that you thought about making. You also knew that your relationship with Eddie was going to change significantly. Maybe it already had.

You were leaning up against the side of your car, smoking an emergency cigarette from the pack stashed in your glove box. The anxiety was starting to eat you alive as you really came to terms with the fact that you were going to see Eddie for the first time in nearly a month. And, by the grace of God, you were going to be seeing him sober.

He would probably get there late knowing his finicky Tuesday schedule, sometimes having a longer shift than normal. Maybe he’d be all sweaty and grimy, frustrated and unable to talk to you. Or he could be bright and cheery and make conversation, blind to the magic of your lucky fishnets chosen for tonight.

How would he act? Would everything be okay? Did he even want to talk to you after what happened?

What even really happened?

Maybe he wouldn’t show up at all.

Would it even be worth it to stay?

The sound of Robin calling your name woke you from your self-indulgent nightmare fuel. You looked up, watching her wave at you with Steve in tow, sporting a white crop top and a deep green button down left open, bracelets galore. Steve was in his work outfit, sleeves rolled up, button down unbuttoned and untucked. Disheveled wife beater clinging for dear life in this weather. Like he was straight out of a quirky 2000s movie. Except he didn’t look exhausted, just slightly tired.

You met them halfway, giving Robin a side hug to keep her away from the smoke.

But as soon as you pulled back, she grabbed the cigarette and crushed it under her Vans. Even went so far as to stomp on it.

“Rob, seriously?” Steve asked.

“Gross,” Robin replied, shaking her head at you. “So, so gross.”

You just wanted five minutes of unhealthy coping mechanisms—but you knew Robin was right. Getting back into smoking cigarettes just because you were in a perpetual state of sorrow due to your own actions may not be the best course of action. Maybe that’s why you felt better on your two-week tolerance break from smoking weed. It just felt better to have a clear head, especially if it wasn’t doing well in the first place.

Steve gave you an apologetic look, also giving you a side hug. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” you said. “It’s probably for the best.”

“Should we go inside?” Robin asked, pointing at Go Ask Mary.

What you noticed as soon as you sat down was that neither of them even mentioned Eddie. Didn’t tell you whether he was still coming or whether he’d be late. The three of you were ten minutes early to the scheduled time, so it wouldn’t be too bad, right?

Steve started chatting you up immediately, (almost unbearably) asking you how you’d been doing and if you’d seen anything good on Netflix or Max lately. You really didn’t want to talk to him, didn’t want to even look at him. Because if you did, you’d only see betrayal in his eyes, a mere reflection of your guilt.

As if noticing your discomfort, Robin butt in. “Actually, I was watching this documentary on that new NASA thing and apparently there’s this black hole—"

You were starting to feel sick to your stomach and it only increased when Eddie walked into the bar twenty minutes late.

Despite telling yourself not to, you looked up at him.

He wasn’t grimy or dirty, like he’d showered before coming. Like he felt the need to clean up before, what, coming to a bar on a Tuesday evening? His hair was all volumized and bouncy, face glowing in the dim lighting. A Master of Reality Black Sabbath tee with his jeans and his leather jacket and his chains and his everything…

And despite Robin and Steve greeting him first, Eddie held your eye contact.

You hated how that made you feel. Like you were the only reason why he was here. Like you were the only reason he was being social and staying out late. Like you made it worth it.

But neither one of you said anything to each other.

The last few weeks had been…quite unbearable if Eddie had to describe it. He spent nearly every night at his phone, talking to Wayne as if he was his therapist. Wayne bit the bullet and comforted him, tried to give him advice about the whole thing. But Eddie was in a fugue state, unable to truly manage his heartache, even with his stashed emergency cigarettes in his glove box. So, when he got the invitation to another karaoke night and Robin promised you’d be there, he made sure to leave work early, take an extra-long shower, and come prepared to talk.

When you said you’d get the first round, Eddie did his best to stay seated.

Because neither of you had said anything to each other and Eddie wasn’t really sure what that meant. He wasn’t even sitting next to Steve tonight because he felt so embarrassed…but what about you?

Because you looked tense, a tight smile on your lips that definitely didn’t meet your eyes. Your grip on your vodka Redbull was starting to concern him, all strained knuckles and shaky glass. Steve and Robin blabbered on, you and Eddie contributing when it seemed necessary, never actually talking to each other.

By the time Robin said she’d get the second and you jumped at the chance to go for her, he’d given up on being polite.

He reached into his jean jacket pocket to find his black Bic lighter, his holy savior when it came to anxiety and fear. You were ten steps ahead of him, refusing to look back. Refusing to even look up, as if the idea of making eye contact with anyone in Go Ask Mary was borderline criminal.

Eddie glanced at Steve and Robin before standing up.

“Ooh, are you going to go talk to her?” Robin asked, taking a final sip of her first Coke and Bacardi to try to hide her smile. Steve mirrored her, taking a long gulp of his beer as he raised an eyebrow at the man.

The two were the definition of the phrase in cahoots.

Eddie only rolled his eyes in response, turning on his heels to follow your lead.

You were in nearly an identical outfit to the one he last saw you in, with your black Joan Jett t-shirt replaced with a black Scene Queen crop top. A leather jacket. And there with it, a pleated black miniskirt that swayed with you as you walked, calling attention to your fishnets and maroon Converse. Red lipstick to match. Fucking hell—

He was utterly weak for you.

And how did he open up a line of dialogue?

“This is awkward, isn’t it?”

You turned to him before looking down, watching the black lighter move between his fingers—always noticing his anxious habits but never truly calling him out.

“I guess,” you replied, seemingly nonchalant.

But he was getting closer and…was that cigarette smoke on your jacket? Had you been smoking? Eddie thought about asking, but there you were beating him to the punch.

“Emergency cigarette, huh?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “Seems like you’ve been stressed about something.”

“It’s all over you, too,” he countered. “I wonder if there’d be a common denominator if we compared notes.”

He didn’t miss the way you scowled before trying to cover up your frustration. “It’s just been tough at work.”

“Oh, so is that why you haven’t texted me in three weeks?”

“Eddie—”

“Hey, it’s just a question,” he said lightly, throwing his hands up.

Before you could say anything, the bartender was sliding you the drinks.

“You left your jacket at my place,” you said as you handed Robin’s card to the guy. “It’s in my car if you want to grab it before you leave. Or earlier if you’d like.”

But Eddie wasn’t one to back down, was he?

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“And I don’t intend to,” you stated, scribbling on the receipt before turning to walk away. Eddie noticed you left his and Steve’s drinks behind. With a sigh, Eddie grabbed them and followed you back to the table.

After everyone was a bit tipsy, Robin found her way to the karaoke stage, followed by Steve. You noticed that Eddie was opting out, merely sitting there in silence. He nursed his whisky, nodding along to whatever conversation was happening, even if he was directly spoken to. It was already bad enough that he was sitting closer to you than he did Steve.

Was he trying to make you feel better? Was his silence to keep everyone from feeling weird? Did he tell Steve about what happened, and they were trying to play it cool? Lower the awkwardness?

Your anxiety was starting to crawl along your skin resulting in you having to take your jacket off. The alcohol doing absolutely nothing to diffuse it. Even if you drank faster. Not that you would ever feel the need to expedite the process of any form of intoxication or inebriation. Not at all. Nope. Never.

But after another dreadful fifteen minutes, you needed out of there.

Fast.

“I’m going to sing a song,” you announced, interrupting Steve.

Before anybody could respond or react, you shot out of your chair and walked over to the guy by the stage. He sat on a stool behind a podium, his laptop hooked up to a speaker.

“Pick your poison of the night,” he said with a grin. “The Eighties are your oyster.”

“Gladly.”

Eddie watched you scroll through the guy’s laptop, bouncing from side-to-side as you debated your choices. Nodding your head along to whatever he was saying.

And he just couldn’t help himself from being a pest, from ignoring Robin and Steve, from walking over and ending up behind you.

“What’s the song choice?”

You flinched, turning to look at him with quite a nasty look on your face.

“Why do you care?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Why are you being so goddamn mean?”

Like before, you gave no answer.

Instead, you grabbed the microphone and stepped up on the poor excuse for a stage. As you lifted your foot, your skirt started riding up. Eddie didn’t mean to look up your skirt in a moment like this, scout’s honor, but he caught a snippet of…your…garter belt?

Were those your…lucky fishnets? No, he had to be mistaken. You already had a few pairs, there was no way you’d worn the lucky ones when you were being this mean.

“Why’re you looking at me like that?” you asked him, your voice sounding much, much harsher than it usually did.

“I’m not looking at you like—”

The track started and you shook your head, turning from him to put on a smile and face everyone else but him.

Eddie didn’t stay, heaving a sigh before walking off to sit back down next to Steve and Robin.

Clearing your throat, you let yourself groove through the beginning instrumentals, shaking off Eddie’s words and the fact that he didn’t stay to watch. Didn’t stay to show any support or be your biggest fan like always. But this wasn’t about him.

“There's a boy I know, he's the one I dream of.

Looks into my eyes, takes me to the clouds above..."

You were met with a few cheers at the choice of song. Trying to play along, you held onto the cord of the mic, twisting it around your fingers, while moving your hips from side to side. Your pleated skirt moved with you, twisting and turning and twirling wherever you moved.

For the first time tonight, you smiled.

“How will I know if he really loves me?

I say a prayer with every heartbeat.

I fall in love whenever we meet.

I'm asking you what you know about these things."

But something began to click in your head.

Because this was absolutely about Eddie. This was exactly how you’d been feeling for the last three years. Every little, tiny thing that had run through your mind whenever you were together. Whenever you were laughing or crying or going on dates that ultimately turned into duds. When you went to the aquarium or the movies or Jailbait Hemp…

When you were sitting with him for the first time in this exact bar, wondering if he was going to be something more in your life, unable to predict where you’d inevitably be.

“Falling in love is so bittersweet.

This love is strong, why do I feel weak?”

You closed your eyes as you kept going, determined to get through this without having a meltdown. If you just powered through it, then everything would sort itself out and you’d sit back down and Robin would tell you that the song was a good choice and Steve would say some dumb shit. And Eddie—

Eddie would say nothing at all.

And at the end of the night, you’d tell Robin and Steve goodbye. You’d turn to walk away to your car and hope that Eddie would run up to you and demand to talk. But you’d inevitably be met with disappointment as you reached your car. He wouldn’t grab his jacket. He wouldn’t say a word. And the two of you would fade without a sound. Without even a goodbye. And you’d know then for certain that he never truly wanted to be with you. He’d made his choice.

“If he loves me…if he loves me not.”

When you opened your eyes, you were shocked to see Eddie near the edge of the stage, his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets.

“If he loves me…if he loves me not.”

He was looking at you the way you hated, the way you secretly loved. Like you were the most precious thing in the world.

“If he loves me...if he loves me not.”

He was quiet, not even swaying, letting you sing no matter how terrible it sounded. Just making eye contact with you, watching you. You tried looking away, but nothing else could hold your attention long enough before you were back, trying to make sense as to why he was still there.

And there was something bubbling in your chest, something starting to unfurl.

“How will I know if he really loves me?”

Something was starting to constrict your vocal cords and you had no way of letting it go.

“I say a prayer with every heartbeat.”

Especially when Eddie was still standing there, and you were realizing that whatever you two had was over.

“I fall in love whenever we meet.”

This chapter of your life was coming to a close.

“I'm asking you what you know about these things.”

Nothing was going to fix this.

“How will I know if he’s thinking of me?”

There was nothing you could do.

“I try to phone but I’m too shy. Can’t speak.”

Nothing.

“Falling in love is so bittersweet…”

You started to choke up, sniffling as you looked at Eddie, with his pretty brown eyes and his intense fucking stare and his teeth digging into his bottom lip. Was this the last time you’d ever see each other? Was this truly the end? Was this the last look you’d get of him, forever lodged in your memory as the moment you lost the greatest thing to ever happen to you to someone else?

“I feel weak—"

Without hesitation, you dropped the mic, jumping down and running past Eddie. Robin and Steve tried to call your name, but you couldn’t do it anymore. You pushed open the front door into the tangerine glow of the sunset and felt yourself fall apart.

“What are you doing, Eddie?” Robin asked, shaking her head at him as he sluggishly made his way back to the table. “I mean, seriously.”

“This has gotten totally out of hand,” Steve said with a sigh, swirling a straw in his beer bottle.

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock,” Robin said sarcastically. “How do you think she feels?”

Steve nodded. “You literally didn’t want to keep going on dates because you’re into her.”

Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed. “You said you were okay with it.”

“I am,” Steve said, throwing up his hands. “I get it. You feel how you feel. No shame in that. But I just think it’s kinda annoying when you’re not even doing anything about it. I mean, seriously, dude. It’s been, what, two weeks?”

“Three and a half,” Eddie corrected.

Steve gestured to him. “My point exactly.”

Eddie felt like an idiot. The way he watched you start to crack onstage, as if you were bending. Breaking. Falling apart.

“Are you really gonna just let her leave?”

Eddie turned at the unfamiliar voice. It was the drag queen that seemed to always be there, Luverne Bell, just out of drag this time. He stood there with his hands on his hips, still wearing a killer manicure.

“What do you mean?”

He sighed. “Boy, I watched that poor girl thirsting over you a month ago, jealous as hell of that one with the hair,” she said, pointing at Steve before looking back at Eddie. “She sang to you tonight—fuckin’ Whitney Houston, the queen of all queens—and you’re questioning if you should be a big boy and go tell her you love her? Are you that stupid?”

“No, I…” Eddie gulped. “I guess I didn’t think about it like that.”

“Then go, idiot,” Robin said from the table. “You’re literally wasting time.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “Don’t fuck it up.”

They were right. Eddie couldn’t back down. You needed him just as much as he needed you.

It felt odd how simple it was.

Even when he was unsure of your feelings. Even when you had those awkward conversations. Even when he’d be on a date with Steve or talking Robin’s ear off about his frustrations—not to mention Jeff, Gareth, and Grant. (They got much more than they needed to.) Hell, even after you fought and stopped talking for nearly a month. No matter how hard this felt, loving you was simple.

And he planned to keep loving you no matter what.

Eddie nodded before walking towards the door.

He could hear Luverne Bell sigh behind him, saying, “I’m getting that fuckin’ invite to the wedding, so help me God.”

It was all completely hopeless.

This was probably the lowest you’d been in a long time, dramatically running off a stage at your favorite bar in front of the guy who you’d been in love with for the past three years. And now you were too weak to get in your car and drive far away from here, far away from Eddie.

You tried being an asshole to him, tried to get him to push you away and leave you alone. It would be better that way, giving him a reason to never come near you again. At least then you wouldn’t be tempted to tell him that the sight of him with Steve made you want to throw up. Hell, you already did.

Tears streamed down your face as you lightly hit your head back on the brick wall of the building. You needed to distract yourself. Calm yourself down.

With the las bit of strength you had, you shuffled over to your car to grab another emergency cigarette. You caught the sight of Eddie’s jacket in the passenger seat and nearly screamed, wanting to run over the damn thing out of spite.

Maybe act on impulse and burn the damn thing.

As if you’d ever actually do it.

You managed to successfully light your cigarette when you heard Eddie call your name. Turning, you could see him looking around to find you before he finally did. He called your name again.

“Don’t leave!” he said loudly. “Come back.”

With messy makeup and even messier hair, you looked him directly in the eye as you walked back over. If this was how everything was to end, you were ready. No matter how fucked up you looked. No matter how fucked up you felt.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

“What’s there to say?” you asked, taking a strong drag.

“You can’t keep playing this game with me,” he said, shaking his head. “You really can’t.”

“Go back to Steve,” you choked out, fingers shaking as you took another drag. “I bet he’s better company than I am.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I don’t want to go fucking be with Steve right now, alright?”

“Why not?” you asked loudly. “He’s all cool and hot and sexy and a big, hot, sexy hot shot. I’m sure he’s better than me in every way possible.”

This earned you another eye roll. “Oh my god.” He covered his face with his hands for a moment, dragging them down to his chin before giving an exasperated sigh. “I don’t see why you care when you’re the one who didn’t answer any of my texts, nor did you answer me when I asked you why like an hour and a half ago.”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” you lied.

“That’s just a shitty copout at this point.”

“You’re annoying,” you lied again.

“And you’re acting like a dick!” he exclaimed. “An outrageously humongous cockhead!”

You scowled at him. “Oh, I’m the cockhead? Really?”

“Yeah, you are.”

“Real mature. Nice.” You waved him away, taking another drag. “Go back to your boyfriend already.”

“Stop bringing up Steve, oh my god!” he nearly shouted.

A scoff left your mouth. “You’re the one dating him.”

“Yeah, well, I broke shit off with Steve three and a half weeks ago.”

You paused, pulling the cigarette from your lips. “You did?”

Eddie nodded. “Mhm.”

“Why?”

“Oh, you know,” he said with a breathy sigh, fiddling with his lighter. “Just in love with my best friend over here, no big deal.”

“You’re…” You lost grip of your cigarette as everything began to swirl around you.

He was…actually in love with you?

“You’re in love with me?”

His eyes widened. “You didn’t know?”

“I…wasn’t sure.”

“Right, even when I almost kissed you, or…?”

“Well…I just thought when you…you said you thought Steve made you happy…” you trailed, losing steam. You couldn’t continue, only shrugging in response before crossing your arms over your chest.

He tilted his head, trying to catch your eyes. “And now here’s the part where you say you’re in love with me, too, right?” You looked up, watching his lips turn up in a small smile. “‘Cause there’s no way I’m interpreting this wrong anymore.”

You looked at him questioningly, nearly playful in nature now, deciding to push him just a little bit further. “Oh, yeah? What makes you so sure?”

“Because tonight I realized that you have been nothing but jealous this entire time and making fun of Steve who, correct me if I’m wrong, you’ve never had a problem with before.” He drew closer, putting his hands over your crossed arms. “And there’s nothing I want to do more right now than kiss you and make all of this stupid middle school drama go away.”

“Are you not worried we’ll lose everything if it doesn’t work out?”

Eddie smirked. “What if I told you that I don’t care about that and all I want is to take you home and cuddle on the couch and watch Lord of the Rings?”

“The extended edition?”

“Literally what else would I be referring to?”

“Okay,” you whispered.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Eddie wrinkled his nose at you, eyes searching yours. “Mm, and why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because I’m absolutely, positively in love with you,” you admitted. “That’s why I’ve been looking at you like that for almost four years.”

He grinned. “God dammit, I knew that was what you always wanted to say.”

“And yet you never said anything about it,” you noted.

“Well, I—” Eddie paused before his eyes lit up. “Holy shit. Holy shit! You were gonna tell me that day at the aquarium, weren’t you?” Your mouth opened but you were way too embarrassed to admit to it. He studied your expression before a smirk fell on his lips. “You were! I knew it. I fucking knew—"

So, you kissed him.

Uncrossed your arms and grabbed his face, keeping him from walking away. From running away. From doing anything else than being right here, right now. In your grasp, in your kiss.

And Eddie wasted no time, roughly grabbing your waist and drawing you in, breathing you in. You were trying to process what was happening, but it was all going by so fast. Because his hands were squeezing your hips, fingers flexing as if he was consciously trying not to hurt you.

Instantly, you couldn’t fathom ever feeling this euphoric. This carnal hunger for something so soft and tender. For finally being able to get to this moment, this aching desire having loomed over you for so long.

Despite this disbelief, you needed to push back, not ready to give away your dominance. Did he even know you?

You reached a hand down and grabbed his ass, pulling him against you, earning a gasp from him. When you squeezed harder, he jumped and let out a small yelp.

Laughter spilled from your lips as you watched his cheeks turn red, close to matching your lipstick. And you noticed it hadn’t really transferred to his mouth, saving him from more embarrassment. (You thanked whatever God was out there that you’d worn your sturdy lipstick.)

Even so, your lips were still on his, unable to disconnect. Unable to let them go anywhere.

“You think that’s funny?” he asked, playfully trying to stare you down.

You wrinkled your nose, grinning. “Yeah, I do, actually.”

Eddie wrinkled his back at you. “Yeah?” He mimicked your voice, raising the pitch.

“Oh, yeah.”

Without warning, Eddie pushed you against the brick wall, slotting his thigh in between your legs. You swallowed a whimper, trying to stay quiet. Trying to sustain your dominance. But he had other plans, fingers slowly moving down your side until he grabbed your thigh and lifted it—roughly at first, but then carefully placing it snug around his hip. Delicately, as if the moment was meant to be cherished, as if you were meant to be handled with care. He dragged his fingers down your fishnets before curling his hand around your knee to quickly yank you up juuust a little further.

Eddie was moving his nose against the side of yours, shaking his head. “And what the fuck are you doing wearing these?”

“You don’t like them?” you whispered, pushing him further.

“Are you serious? I’m in love with them,” he admitted. “And you. Very much you.”

“Told you they were lucky,” you responded with a playful shrug.

“God, you’re frustrating,” he whispered before his lips met yours again. But he quickly moved, making his way down to your jaw. You wondered if he knew that you were getting dangerously close to losing your grip on whatever abstinence looked like.

And then he reached the back of your ear and oh—

You let out an involuntary moan, having to lean away from the contact to catch your bearings. If you didn’t, you genuinely thought you were going to faint.

“Maybe we could do some other things while we watch Lord of the Rings.”

Eddie tipped his head back as he let out a hearty laugh. “And what might that be? Watch the first, second, andthird?”

“It’s a—” Eddie quickly dipped back down, nipping at your neck. “Ah, fuck. It’s a surprise,” you finished, nearly moaning again. “Fuck, not for much longer if you keep doing that.”

“You want me to wait until we’re two and a half hours deep into Mordor?” he asked. “Do you know me at all? That shit is important.”

You shrugged. “Well, you could be two and a half hours deep into this pussy—”

“That was unnecessary,” he joked, shaking his head.

Your smile widened. “It was kinda funny.”

“Just a little,” he admitted before moving his lips back to your jaw.

“I could dress up as Sam?” you teased, feeling his teeth carefully grazing your earlobe. Another gasp escaped your lips. “Could call you Mister Frodo if you’d like.”

The vibrations of his laughter made tingles run down your neck.

“An intriguing thought,” he joked. “May I propose a trip to my van?”

Now you fully pulled away from his face, wondering how serious he was.

“I’m not doing it in a parking lot.”

He feigned offense. “Why not? My van’s right there?”

“Eddie, I’m not having sex in your van.”

He tsked at you, leaving pecks on each of your cheeks. “You’re no fun.”

“How about a compromise,” you proposed, pressing a finger against his mouth. “How about you fuck me beforewe watch Lord of the Rings?”

“Does a joint happen to sneak its way in at some point?” he asked against your finger. You giggled as he removed it but continued to hold on. Smoothed his calloused fingertips over your knuckles.

“One before, one after,” you said matter-of-factly.

He smirked. “I think I can manage that.”

You kissed him again.

And it really wasn’t so stupid after all.

Taglist: @mrsjellymunson @fishwithtitz @aysheashea

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER READ THIS! Your support has meant everything to me ! <3

#Eddie munson #Eddie Munson x you #Eddie munson fluff #Eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x reader #best friend!eddie #modern!eddie munson #modern!eddie x reader #best friend!Eddie x reader #thank you again. I’m feeling so ahhhhh right now! finally finished my first eddie series #can’t wait for the next one #just feeling glad that I can escape and disappear from reality for a little bit

131 notes · View notes

dollfaceksj · 8 months

Note

i really hope taehyung has calmed down and ready to hear them out :(

i hope so too!

a/n: hi. i have realized and decided that it’s time to end toapp. #36 (the next drabble) will be the finale.

i just wanna thank you guys for this amazing journey. i’ve had so much fun interacting with you guys and writing this story, just making shit up as i go. i had no idea how this story was gonna go, how y’all would receive it, every drabble i just hoped for the best. it’s insane to think toward the end toapp had 400+ regular readers. that’s so crazy guys!! thank u so much

i hope u guys will still interact with me even when this finishes!!! and i hope you guys look forward to my upcoming fics. i’ve already brainstormed several other fics that i know y’all will love! i can’t wait to share them with you.

i might still do side-drabbles like what jk did in those 2 months, more events we’ve already seen but from other povs, maybe drabbles that happen in the future. i’ll see !

thank you for everything.

lots of love,

clover. 🍀

ps: listen to the outro of scott street by phoebe bridgers when u read this drabble trust me. i bawled like a little bitch.

taste of a poison paradise | jjk (m) #35

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“do you want me to leave?”

he stares at you with the biggest eyes in the universe

how does someone just have big black eyes like that

the things he says

can be so dirty

and his gaze can be so intense

but now

when he’s

pleading

and being pathetic

his eyes are the biggest in the galaxy

he’s so beautiful

you wonder if he knows that

you sigh loudly and rub your hairline. “you’re so lucky you know your way with words.”

he blinks at you a few times and drops his shoulders in relief, you hadn’t even noticed they were that tense

“i’m just telling you the truth.”

you merely hum in response and nod your head absentmindedly as you glance over at the plate of cold chicken quesedillas now

“do you want me to heat those up in a pan for you?” you ask quietly, not sure where to go with the conversation now

when you don’t get a response, you glance in his direction

he’s just staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face

“jungkook?”

he shakes his head slowly. “do you believe me now?”

your brows pinch together in confusion. “yeah, i believe you. were you not telling the truth just now?”

he shakes his head again. “i’m not talking about just now i’m talking about me being in love with you.”

right

yeah

you said you didn’t believe it

do you believe him?

your own feelings for him keep getting in the way of your rational thoughts

because you just want to believe him, even when your common sense still doubts it

“yeah,” you start, “i believe you.”

then, a soft smile creeps onto his lips. “okay.”

you reach for the plate but jungkook stops you by gently taking hold of your wrist mid-air. “i think you should just go lie down in bed. after what just happened, you just need a moment. i can tell you’re pretending to be okay.”

you blink at him

and the sincere look in his eyes

and the slight pinch in his brows

almost makes you tear up again

“i’ll clean the kitchen up, just,” he pauses as he lets go of your wrist, “go. i’ll be right there.”

you slowly nod your head and start walking out of your kitchen, heading to your bedroom

you lie down in your bed and stare at the ceiling, the events of barely 20 minutes ago playing on repeat in your head

taehyung

you miss him

you need him

you’re lucky jungkook was there to talk some sense into you

you should go to taehyung when the storm is over

and come clean with everything and just

beg for his forgiveness

and now that you think about it

you wonder

why it’s taking jungkook so long

you get up from your bed and slowly make your way to the kitchen

you peek your head around the corner of the door and that’s when you see

jungkook, standing by the sink

the mess taehyung made earlier on the floor has been cleaned up

and it seemed like jungkook was halfway through with the dishes

but now he’s just leaning against the sink with his hands and his head held down

what is he doing?

you wonder what it is until you hear a soft sniffle

you walk into the kitchen. “jungkook?”

he quickly sniffles again and wipes his cheeks before looking at you

you walk in further. “hey,” you whisper as you place your hand on his shoulder, soothingly rubbing it

he’s quiet for a few moments before he breaks down

“he’s my only friend and i betrayed his trust. you can bounce back because of your history with him but me? he’ll never want to see me again.”

he sent you away because all of that panic that he had earlier concerning taehyung he couldn’t show

he had to swallow his own emotions because he had to calm you down

but it’s dawning on him real bad right now and you need to be here for him like he was there for you

you shake your head and move your hand over his back, rubbing it gently. “you’re crazy. he could never hate you, kook. like you said, he’s mad. it’s okay, we’ll catch him one of these days and talk it out. taehyung is the gentlest soul i know. he just needs some time to cool off.”

he sniffles quietly, his round nose so red and his big eyes puffy. “it took you so much convincing to believe me. what if he doesn’t believe me at all?”

“jungkook, taehyung knows you better than i do. he’ll know to believe you. i’m sure of it.”

he sniffles again and slowly nods.

“okay? here,” you say as you take the sponge out of his hand and rinse his soaped up hand. “let’s just go lie down for a bit. we’ll eat later.”

( ♡ )

the storm has finally let up the following day

and you need to do one more thing before you bite the bullet and face taehyung

you raise your fist and slowly knock on the door

you wait a few moments before it swings open

“hey, you.”

you smile at him. “hey, yoongi.”

he steps aside and invites you in

you quietly thank him and step in

“what’s up?” he asks as he heads into his living room and you follow him

“we uh,” you start as you nervously look around. “we need to talk.”

he halts in his movements and slowly turns to you. “oh. okay. would you like something to drink?”

you shake your head and gently take his soft hand into yours before leading him to the sofa

you both sit down and he’s staring at you with confused eyes. “so?”

you take a deep breath and finally glance at him. “yoongi,” you start, “you’re amazing. you really treat me exactly as a man should and i’ll always be thankful for that. you were never pushy, you were never condescending or overstepping. you just,” you pause for a moment to find more words but you kind of get stuck

it’s quiet

and he’s just staring at you

when the silence stretches out for longer than he likes, he decides to do something

his frown turns into a neutral expression. “finally chose jungkook, have you?”

your eyes go wide and your throat goes dry.

fuck

“what?”

“i don’t like how you think i’m stupid, y/n.”

what is he

what is

what is going on

you blink at him. he clearly is unimpressed with your attempts at letting him down slowly

oh no

you really don’t want to start panicking

“yoongi, i just–”

“hey, breathe. your veins are almost popping out of your throat.” he brings his finger up to tap your pouty lips

and it’s true, you were actually holding your breath

“i’m not stupid, you know.” he uses his thumb to rub your bottom lip. “it’s been rather clear that you’ve had feelings for jungkook. i was just waiting for you to realize.”

you frown at him. “how?”

“the camping trip, our first date, the parties, the clubs. your attention was always just centred around jungkook. i thought you were trying to get over it so i told you i’d make you realize you don’t need him but clearly you’ve realized you do and i get it.”

okay

you are not going to cry

nope

you blink a few times to keep your tears in their fucking place. “aren’t you mad i used you to forget about him?”

at this, he’s quiet. he just blinks at you for a few moments before answering

“no, i’m not because i’m guilty too.”

you tilt your head to the side. “what do you mean?”

he sighs softly. “i uh,” he says as he shrugs his shoulders. “i did the same to you. i wanted to forget about sooyeon.”

wow

you didn’t actually think that was the case

well

he did mention he knew what you were talking about

and that he was okay with not getting into anything serious

but it’s strange hearing this from him now

because he just seems like the type of guy that has everything figured out

mature and collected

but you suppose after all, he’s human too

you nod slowly. “i see.”

he brings his hand down to rub your shoulder. “have you told taehyung?”

at this, your heart stings

you want to cry

“um,” you say with a shaky voice.

he frowns. “oh god,” he mumbles. “what happened?”

you explain what happened in short so you don’t bawl in front of him

“oh, shit. i guess it’s my fault, then?” he rubs his hairline. “i’m sorry, i didn’t think he’d rush to you like that for a simple cold.”

you sniff. him saying that makes you realize taehyung really does care for you

“you should go talk it out with him.”

“what if he doesn’t want to see me?”

he shakes his head. “don’t be absurd. i don’t think taehyung has ever even considered spending a day without at least hearing for you. he’s probably counting down the minutes until he sees you again.”

ugh

he really knows what to say

you slowly nod and rise to your feet. “i’m gonna go to him right now.”

he gets up as well. “okay. just breathe and you’ll be fine.”

you sigh and turn to fully face him as you wrap your arms around his waist and bury your face in his chest, inhaling his scent

he hugs you right back, stroking your head and rubbing your back soothingly

“thanks for everything, yoongles.”

“nope,” he chuckles, “your privileges have been revoked. you don’t get to call me that anymore.”

you huff and smack his back which he laughs at

you pull back and pout at him

he chuckles and pecks your nose. “we’ll talk again soon,” he says

and you can’t help but smile

“absolutely.”

and with a final squeeze, he lets go of you and walks you to his front door

“you’re rushing me out. i bet sooyeon is coming over,” you joke as you open his front door

he’s suddenly quiet for a moment. “would that make me a bad person?”

you laugh and hit his chest. “jerk.”

he chuckles and watches as you leave, leaning against the doorframe with a soft smile on his lips.

well then

until our paths cross again, yoongi ♡

(wrote this entire scene whilst watching yoongi live on weverse to say his goodbyes after the enlistment news bitch im so fucking emotional rn shut the fuck up)

and now

it’s time

to go see taehyung

you make your way to taehyung’s home

and take a few breaths

trying to calm yourself

you need to calm yourself

you can do this

right as you raise your fist to knock

the door swings open

and you almost slam your first into taehyung’s face

luckily you stop yourself right before that happens and tae stares at you in surprise

“oh,” he quietly says. “i was uh…” he scratches his head. “i was just on my way to you.”

oh :(

you swallow thickly and watch as he steps aside to let you in

you walk in and your body wants to automatically fly onto his bed like you always do but you settle for the couch right now

he follows you and sits down on the coffee table to be able to face you instead of sitting down next to you

it’s quiet

real quiet

“i’m sorry–”

you both apologize in unison but you frown at him. “why are you apologizing?”

he blinks at you like you’re crazy. “because i was way out of line, y/n.”

he catches the quiver in your pout but doesn’t comment on it. “i always told you i’d never judge you but airing you out like that was the opposite of what i promised to always do for you. it wasn’t okay.”

you scrunch your nose a bit as you feel yourself getting emotional again

“so, you don’t hate me?”

he blinks at you like you’ve gone crazy. “are you insane?”

you press your lips into a thin line, hoping to hurt yourself so you can focus on that and not getting emotional

“taehyung, you sacrificed so much for me and i couldn’t even listen to the one thing you didn’t want me to do. i’d wanna kill me.”

he sighs quietly and shakes his head as he looks down at your fidgeting fingers. “oh, don’t get me wrong. i still wanna kill you but what i did wasn’t cool. i just,” he pauses as he tries to think of what to say.

“i didn’t mean to give you a ‘gotcha’ moment with that sensitive information but it was more my way of saying ‘i told you so’. you just make me so mad sometimes.”

you bite on your lip to stop it from quivering

“and the fact it’s been going on since the camping trip and i just, i thought about all the times you just lied to my face. you’d never done that before. we’ve always been honest with each other, you know? never in a million years did i think you would lie to me like that.”

you look down at your hands, realizing you’ve been picking at the loose flesh around your nails

“i’m always just thinking ‘it’s okay, she’s young’ whenever you screw up because you are. but i’m young too. and i’m scared too.”

it’s enough to have you silently crying again

he’s completely right

all of that pressure he’s been carrying with him

and he always looks so

careless and free

is that why he’s always drinking until he can’t fucking stand?

and he never ever once held it over your head

he never once pointed out that he carries all this pressure of keeping you safe and protect you

and you’re just a selfish cunt

“i know. i’m sorry, taehyung. i really am. it just,” you stutter as you shakily sniff for air, “it just happened.”

he glances up at you and nods, handing you tissues from his nightstand

“he needs us, taehyung. he needs you. he told me everything. he was just a boy.”

taehyung sighs as he puts the box of tissues down in front of you

you tell taehyung the storyline of you and jungkook

without the events of … yesterday and the day before that for obvious reasons.

and he doesn’t say much, just silently nods

it’s quiet for awhile as you both just sit there, not saying another word

until

“have you caught feelings for him?”

your breath hitches in your throat and your heart is beating in your ass

you make eye contact with him and he’s staring at you with a neutral expression

you furrow your brows and try to stop the involuntary quiver in your lips as you slowly nod to his question

he gently sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “does he know?”

you wipe your tears with the tissues. “yes. he confessed to me first.”

he then looks at you with a surprised look on his face. “jungkook told you he has feelings for you? jungkook?”

you blink at him, confused at the surprised tone in his voice. “well, he told me he was in love with me.”

he tilts his head to the side. “and you believe him?”

you shrug your shoulders. “not at first. and definitely not after hearing the mia thing but,” you pause for a moment. “he told me the full story and i don’t think he lied to me once as he did. so i do believe him now.”

he rubs his smooth chin with his fingers and slowly nods. “have you told yoongi?”

“yes.”

he leans back on his hands, his head tilted back as he stares at the ceiling. “where is jungkook now?”

you cough

“um…”

he lifts his head to look at you with a raised brow.

“he’s uh,” you glance at the front door. “he’s in the hall.”

taehyung blinks at you like you’re full of shit. “he’s here? in the hall?”

you slowly nod

taehyung stares at you for a moment longer before rising to his feet and walking to the front door

he swings it open and looks around the corner, just to see jungkook’s shadow at the bottom of the stairs

jungkook walks up a few stairs to see if it’s you but he makes eye contact with taehyung

and taehyung is just staring him down

jungkook quietly sighs and walks up the stairs, right up to taehyung’s front door

you watch from the couch, gripping the wet tissue in your hand still

jungkooks nose is still red

and his eyes are puffy

but neither of them say a word

just stare

at each other

until they suddenly kiss each other?

KNDKEJFKEJDKSJD

🍀 i’m just joking

they’re staring each other down in silence

until taehyung suddenly grabs jungkook by the collar of his shirt, knuckles turning white because of the tightness of his grip

jungkook just lets him

you shoot up from the couch in an instant, panic surging through your entire body

just as you’re about to call out taehyung’s name in hopes of stopping him

he pulls jungkook into a tight hug, maybe a little too tight

jungkook simply rests his chin on taehyung’s shoulder

and wraps his arms around him. “i’m sorry, hyung.”

they just hug in silence for a few moments until taehyung speaks up again

“you better not ever fuck her over or i swear i’ll have you jumped.”

jungkook chuckles and pats taehyung’s back. “i thought you were of the opinion that you should beat me the fuck up?”

is he insane

not the time for jokes, jungkook…

taehyung pulls back from the hug and stares at jungkook for a second with a frown on his face

…

before cracking his famous sheepish box smile. “i should but i know i can’t take you in a fight.”

LMFAOOOOO

what???😭😭😭😭

you snort and it makes both of them look at you

you suddenly feel like you’re being watched by the fbi or something the way ur standing there like 🧍‍♀️

taehyung lets go of jungkook and walks up to you, staring down at you with a furrow in his brows

“dumb people should never laugh.”

did he really just say that in the tone of that one nicki minaj tiktok audio😭😭😭

you pout and slap his chest

he chuckles and pulls you into a tight embrace, resting his chin on top of your head and not caring he’s suffocating you with his chest

but you simply keep your face buried there, inhaling his scent

and he literally just feels like home

he then says;

“good thing you’re dumb or else my life would’ve been really boring.”

to be continued

<- previous ; finale ->

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