#WHY WOULD ANYONE SAY NO

[theloveinc]

you wake up to kiri’s face in ur legs and he’s literally whimpering & on the verge of tears cause he needs to eat u out :(

It’s kind of stupid to be surprised tho, because almost every morning you catch him huffing the crotch of your nighttime shorts like an absolute pervert…

So ofc he finally reaches his limit one day, and the only thing concerning is really just how he was able to get down there between the sheets without waking you up sooner.

But who doesn’t want a little morning treat from such a giving man? Esp when he doesn’t even need you to shower before he’s opening your legs up and putting his tongue between your folds. I can bet that your coworkers definitely notice a change in your mood when you come in later that morning😉😉

#kirishima #WHY WOULD ANYONE SAY NO #Kiri is #whimpering and stuff like u don’t want ur pwussy ate #just get to it boy!!!!! #lolol all this could make me think of was p*nty sniffer Kiri #I know your undies make his NUTSSSSSSS #it’s not even gross it’s just like weird how much he likes it #caveman sh1t #anyway #love u cog #cog!! #cognacrevived #caitie things #caitie answers #gen

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[angelfic]

annabeth and grover frantically submerging percy in water the way you’d put an iphone in a bowl of rice

#bless #still can’t wrap my head around the fact Athena was willing to kill her own daughter #when I say I’ve never hated anyone more #LIKE WHY WAS ANNABETH NOT FUMING #it’s a good thing she isn’t in s1 like I don’t think Percy would be able to hold his tongue #ni.txt #percy jackson and the olympians #pjotv #percy jackson #annabeth chase #grover underwood #pjo disney+ #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo series #percy jackson tv show

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner? #and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section' #danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's) #so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.' #tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!' #dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again' #tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints? #tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills? #how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!' #damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager) #on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!! #uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

[lotus-pear]

I AM SHITTJING MYSELF WHY DOES HE HAVE THE SPECIAL EDITION $1.5K VICTORIA’S SECRET RED SATIN PAJAMAS

#WAS THAT YOUR SECRET VICTORIA?????? PORT MAFIA EXECUTIVE CHUUYA NAKAHARA IS YOUR NUMBER ONE BUYER??😨😨😨 #IM ACTUALLY CRYING WHY DIES IT LOOK SO SIMILAR IM LITETALLY GOING INSAEN #YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WAS IN TGE FREQUENTLY BOUGHT TOGETHER????? A BLACK LACE THONG😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #i know what you are……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….whore #anyway everyone say congrats pookie lotus for getting this card 🥰🥰🥰🥰 #i was so excited when i saw this man in bed #IN THE SENSE THAT “oh look he’s finally getting rid of those horrendous eye bags by getting some well deserved rest🥰🥰🥰🥰” #idk what else anyone would be thinking ahahaha #bsd

[channnel]

Alan offers you his slushie. (Ft. Oc)

#my dear hatchet man #mdhm game #alan orion #mdhm oc #mdhm fanart #my art #also- thank you for 250 followers! #i had this for a month now- i made this a day before the livestream and after seeing it- i speed through it for two days- #i feel like the brothers would also casually say that their mother is dead and they don't expect anyone to react- except for Jules #Konrad insids the store watching and wondering why the fuck the forest guy is singing

[kiksniko]

more of this cursed braces!dazai AU. he needs to re-evaluate all his nicknames now

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #soukoku #skk #sketchy #i think he would still call him slug but he would have to say it so slow it becomes so comedic it loses its effect #if anyone asks him why he calls chuuya a dog exclusively as a nickname. no they didnt

[cinnamim]

self shippers you guys should think of desperate kisses btw. ☝🏾 your f/o hesitating for only a moment before pulling you close, maybe pulling you by the collar or by the hip, how they can only wait long enough to suck in a breath before they're on you. how they kiss you like it is urgent, like they will actually cease to be if they don't kiss you. there's no teasing, there's no longer any of their meekness to be found, there's nothing in their mind but the constant pounding of their heart in their chest and you, you, you ringing in their brain. desperate kisses that turn into sloppy, messy things as they trail down your neck when you need to part for air– but even that doesn't last long before they're turning you to kiss you on the lips once more. btw.

pro-shippers do not interact

#self ship #safeshipping #safe ship #f/o community #romantic f/o #romantic fictional other #idk what else to tag ^_^) #coughs #no this isn't about anyone in particular omg why would you say thattt omggg #🐇.txt

[dredgesnails]

stardew valley au where joel and skizz are new residents to pelican town (hermit town?). joel just inherited a large farm from his late grandfather and skizz is moving in with his old friend after reconnecting with him and wanting a fresh start. and the townspeople are like, kinda weird.

bdubs is fine enough - he’s a sweet man with a fun personality and he’s the local builder, but it’s almost frightening how fast he constructs new buildings when joel needs them. pearl, their resident postmaster, is also pretty normal other than the fact that skizz never seems to be awake early enough to catch her delivering mail. scar is lovely but he’s never available when joel wants another chicken. the mayor, xisuma, is pleasant too, if a little eccentric at times, but he doesn’t really seem to do much in town.

for the most part, skizz is settling in well. he’s moved in with impulse, who runs the local blacksmith in town, and he gets along well with most of the local townspeople. he’s started spending his evenings at the local saloon listening to ren regale the patrons with fantastical tales while he and stress serve up food and drinks, and he finds himself growing close with cleo, the local sculptor. he even gets a new wardrobe from hypno free of charge, and sometimes helps cub out with his totally scientific studies and creations.

skizz also joins forces with beef (who helps to supply the local general store that xb and keralis run) in terrorising the local manager of the corporate chain grocery store that no one likes. doc is a terrible manager but would make a fun supervillain (according to joe hills, the bookseller who appears once in a blue moon but seems to know doc more than anyone in town).

joel, on the other hand, seems to only be interacting with the strangest residents in town. he discovers the adventurer’s guild after only a couple weeks, and is only somewhat irritated by iskall’s refusal to pronounce his name correctly. false promises to give him prizes if he can kill enough monsters, which is not something joel had expected to be doing when he pictured farm life, but here he is. he stumbles upon a travelling cart one day, and the man inside insists he’s a knight from a faraway land, that he risked his life to make it all the way here to sell his wares. it’s all stuff joel can get cheaper elsewhere.

he’s pretty sure the local doctor has no real medical training, but then he passes out while fighting monsters and he wakes up completely fine, so zedaph probably knows what he’s doing. maybe. when joel isn’t passing out he sometimes makes trips to the library-slash-museum, which is probably almost completely empty because mumbo, who begs joel for anything to display, looks like he’s never fought a duggie in his life. eventually mumbo gives joel a key to the sewers, which are way cooler than they have any right to be, and that’s where he finds jevin’s secret sewer shop. jevin lives in town. he just also has a shop hidden underground. joel has stopped asking questions by now.

and then there are the three who live by the beach. etho spends most of his time tinkering around the fishing hut or hovering around bdubs, but sometimes he drives the bus to the desert. only sometimes. there might be something under his mask. no one knows for sure. gem runs the fish shop most days and she claims she’s a sailor, but joel has never seen a single working boat around despite all the ocean. she can also hold her breath underwater for an uncannily long amount of time, like, scarily so, and will sometimes disappear for a few days and return with an abundance of treasures. joel has never seen her leave by boat. grian fishes a lot and runs the shop when gem can’t, and he sometimes talks as though the sea can speak to him. skizz has caught him staring into space for extended periods of time. one time he waded into the water and just stood there, head down, muttering to himself.

apparently there used to be a lighthouse but “it’s gone now”. gem says if they ask bdubs nicely enough maybe they can build another one, but she and grian are banned from build requests after the last incident with their pet snails (joel has never seen the snails, but scar complains about them enough to convince him they’re real).

there also might be some kind of wizard who lives in the creepy tower in the woods. skizz has heard he’s the one who helps maintain the power in the valley, and joel’s convinced he hallucinated seeing him once until he recieves a letter from the wizard himself, and visits him only to find that the strange fire-creature he saw that one time was, in fact, tango, who is human for the most part, he just sets himself on fire sometimes.

#some of these ones probably suit them more than others sorry if u think ‘he woukd not fucking say that’ #unfortunately i do know some of them way less than the others #so i’m going off general vibes i get from them + what i think would be fun #it is SO HARD!!! to fit 27 people into stardew roles. especially when i didnt include the desert or ginger island #the desert and ginger island are actually populated by friends of the hermits but thats for another post #if anyone wants elaboration on why i chose certain things for people i would be happy to #hermitcraft #geminitay #grian #smallishbeans #pearlescentmoon #zombiecleo #rendog #gtwscar #impulsesv #skizzleman #tangotek #falsesymmetry #iskall85 #mumbo jumbo #ethoslab #bdouble0 #hypnotizd #welsknight #xbcrafted #keralis #cubfan135 #stressmonster101 #vintagebeef #joe hills

[s0fter-sin]

i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing

and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him

he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)

meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh

just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap

soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”

imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”

#he a little confused but he got the spirit #its so good bc it can be super angsty of ghost really dreading whats been done to his sergeant and trying to make it right #or just go full crack treated seriously and have fun with it #i love just completely oblivious ghost #in any military context hes the smartest guy in the room #he always knows the play and has more experience than anyone #but stick him in the normal world? man is Lost #ghost just thinks hes had some kind of reconstruction surgery after being tortured and accepts thats what johnny looks like #bc hes never seen a pussy before #it takes years for soap to actually come out to him bc he just never thought to #hes seen him naked theyve literally slept together what else is there for him to say #then he shows him like a family album or something and ghosts just like ‘why arent you in any of these i only see girls’ #and he just goes ‘hang on a second’ #soap gets one of his sporadic periods one night and panics a little thinking it would weird ghost out or remind him that hes not cis #but ghost just thinks its a normal part of such a thorough reconstruction that hed bleed sometimes #and doesnt question it when soap grabs a pad out of his drawer bc ‘thats such a good way of handling the discharge my johnnys so smart’ #just really supportive ghost for the wrong reasons #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #soapghost #ghostsoap #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod

[obsob]

something something i am made up of multitudes

#mine #original #ough kittie.s...little kitties #ive been busy n tired so no fancy drawing #we r heading.....to the city im getting my top surgery at today... #surgery is TOMORROW. okay #im like not nervous about the surgery im more nervous abt being reliant on my mother jfdbgfgfdj hmm #this morning she was like why are you in a funny mood and i was like i NERVOUS and she just said nothignn gbkjbgkjbgjkre #if my child was nervous about life changing surgery i would maybe say something to comfort them #anyway #anyone in their early 20's living w their mother deserves some kind of medal #shes like insane. shes asked me three time if the breast tissue will. grow back? no? it will not???? #she use to be a NURSE #whatever #keep me and my insane mother in ur thoughts i may lose the will to live in the next coming weeks

[andthebeanstalk]

Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!

Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*

Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!

#original #the last unicorn #tlu #peter s beagle #molly gru #schmendrick #schmendrick the magician #two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first! #my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped! #no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different. #to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life! #but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol #because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb #the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!! #my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘 #i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful. #and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE #mostly zoro's blades from One Piece #normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and #then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU #and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele

[homielander]

shiv's motivations for voting to pass the gojo deal are so layered and i don't think they should be dismissed in favour of any one interpretation. shiv desperately grabbed on to a lifeline for her relationship with tom. shiv was the deciding vote and she couldn't bear to hold the crown only for a moment just to place it atop her brother's head. shiv knew she would have more influence as wife of CEO rather than sister of CEO. shiv absolutely hated seeing kendall crystallize into logan before her eyes, especially when he made roman bleed ("and if we did kill him we get to go to bed") -- succession has always been about siblings so of course she tried to free her brothers before her child. shiv still thinks she can raise her child with all the material benefits of being the daughter of waystar CEO while doing better by her, whatever that means. and all of those things are true

#shiv roy #succession #succession spoilers #ok i'm sleeping #wait i know i just assumed tomshiv baby is a girl but like. i'm right #also i have seen many people say shiv did it purely out of spite and i will say #i don't think they would have had dialogue about shiv saying she's tired and they should all rest #or panned to shiv looking at roman's face fresh with blood #or shown shiv tearing up over her conversation with tom at the beginning of the episode #or had her say 'i cannot stomach you' which has pretty obvious connotations even in the context of succ #or had shiv make up her mind precisely when kendall said the andrew dodds confession was a lie #if her motives weren't meant to be read as ambiguous. they would not have put those things in there without reason #shiv leaving the room may have been impulsive spite but what came after was more complicated #it's also not even wholly altruistic it's just cold admittance that they don't have It. she thinks she does #and i'm not sure why the sentiment that they can't take it but she can surprises anyone #she's literally always seen herself as the exception

[jaysworlds]

hello mcr girlies. which mcr song is YOUR song i mean like 'this song gets me like no one else has ever got me this is the greatest piece of music ever to be created etc etc etc' the song no one understands like you understand.

i'll go first. mine is Summertime

#and i was at the one uk show they DIDNT play it cries. though tbf not the end of the world #i would have SOBBED #and smudged my cool eyeliner #anyway transsexuals you are NOT allowed to say mama. that is OUR song #(im kidding. pick whichever song lives rent free in your heart) #mcr #mcr summertime #my chemical romance #rb game #yes i did post this while listening to summertime and feeling like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. why do you ask #ALSO also if anyone else tags this with summertime either we have to fight to the death or make out sloppy style #those be the rules

[laquilasse]

I got Mana less than 24 hours ago and she refused to stay in the bathroom that I set up for her, expecting her to stay there for a week. And now she follows me around the house and makes sure I’m watching whatever she’s doing. This is my daughter.

#she is the cuddle animal #makes me insane #grace made a compilation video of me before I figured out cat behaviour where I kept saying ‘why would anyone want an animal that hates you #and now look at me. full of beast love.

[itsajollyjester]

"I give you- the tributes of District Twelve!"

I can't even begin to imagine what Haymitch must have been feeling when they won.

Realizing he gets to bring not one but both kids home this time. Watching Katniss make the same mistake he made. Knowing what happens after.

#He had to mentor 46 kids before them #He remembered all their names #Do you think a part of him never wanted any of them to win #why would I say that oh no #sorry to anyone who was hoping for more soft Everlark #You get Haymitch angst now #the hunger games #catching fire #mockingjay #thg series #hunger games fanart #digital artist #clip studio paint #artists on tumblr #digital art #fanart #haymitch abernathy #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #jolly art