#abuse justifications

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusers will hurt you first, and then go on and invent why deserve to get hurt and why it's okay that they did that. It's not the other way around. They don't hurt you because you deserved it. They do it because they like hurting, and it's only after they did it, they realize that without justification, they look like a monster.

#abusers #psychological abuse #darvo #victim blaming #abuse justifications #it's all about how they look to others #they don't care about you or anything else #abuse and projecting an image of goodness so they cant be held accountable

[hussyknee]

I'm really not a villain enjoyer. I love anti-heroes and anti-villains. But I can't see fictional evil separate from real evil. As in not that enjoying dark fiction means you condone it, but that all fiction holds up some kind of mirror to the world as it is. Killing innocent people doesn't make you an iconic lesbian girlboss it just makes you part of the mundane and stultifying black rot of the universe.

"But characters struggling with honour and goodness and the egoism of being good are so boring." Cool well some of us actually struggle with that stuff on the daily because being a good person is complicated and harder than being an edgelord.

Sure you can use fiction to explore the darkness of human nature and learn empathy, but the world doesn't actually suffer from a deficit of empathy for powerful and privileged people who do heinous stuff. You could literally kill a thousand babies in broad daylight and they'll find a way to blame your childhood trauma for it as long as you're white, cisgender, abled and attractive, and you'll be their poor little meow meow by the end of the week. Don't act like you're advocating for Quasimodo when you're just making Elon Musk hot, smart and gay.

#this is one of the reasons why #although i would kill antis in real life if i could #i also don't trust anyone who identifies as 'pro-ship' #it's just an excuse to shut down legitimate ethical questions and engaging in honest self-reflective media consumption and critique #art doesn't exist in a vacuum #it's a flat impossibility for it not to inform nor be informed by real world politics and attitudes #because that's what it means to be created by human hands #we can't even make machine learning thats not just human bias fed into an algorithm #if the way we interact with art truly didn't influence anything then there would be no value in it #just because antis have weaponized those points in the most bad faith ways possible #doesn't mean you can ignore them in good faith #anyway fandom stans villains because society loves to defend and protect abusers #it's not because you get the chance to be free and empathetic and indulge in your darkness and what not #it's just people's normal levels of attachment to shitty people with an added layer of justification for it #this blog is for boring do-gooder enjoyers only #lol #knee of huss #fandom wank #media critique #pop culture #fandom discourse

[fortanuvasyama]

I finally managed to pin down what exactly was eating at me after reading that whole bit of Jason Gets Mindfucked (aka Batman 138)

so Bruce's (or Zur Batman, or however you might interpret that slippery divide between Zur and Bruce) whole reason to give Jason a new flavor of ptsd-on-crack is to prevent him from killing again, right? Like he explicitly says "This is the only way," when he's speaking to Jason.

and when he goes on to explain it further....

Bruce says he's doing this to make him a better person. That this is the best way to make Jason stop doing what he wants and force him to live a 'normal' life.

And Bruce is saying that in his eyes, what Jason is now experiencing isn't a punishment.

Bruce calls this a gift. This is Bruce saving Jason from himself. This is how Jason will get a chance at a meaningful life. Bruce has decided that anything Jason chooses is wrong, and he is going to correct it.

Even if it means Jason is left unable to move.

Even if it means Jason is left unable to defend himself.

Even if it means Jason is left alone.

And if this 'failsafe' can really, truly, wholly stop someone from killing....

Why isn't Batman putting this in every single one of his Rogues?

Bruce apparently has the key to ending all of the Gotham rogues' murderous escapades, so wouldn't it make sense to put this in the heads of every single one of them? Of every single convicted criminal who has ever killed another human being?

If this isn't a punishment, if this is a way to truly reform a criminal permanently... why only Jason?

#i am partly being dramatic but also dead serious #pls for the love of everything holy read what Bruce is saying and then tell me that it's ISN'T classic abuser justification #batman 138 #gotham war spoilers #gotham war #jason todd #bruce wayne #batman spoilers #lemme know if i missed a spoiler tag #maybe those don't apply anymore but idk

[missbluesunflowersstuff]

"Dick was an abusive brother to Jason" "Dick was aggressive with Jason" "Dick gave Robin to Damian" "Damian stole the Robin mantle" my brother in Batman, no one of those words are in the bible! Wtf are you into about?

#i understand when people made funny dark or yandere headcanons or aus it's nice being creative #and create new things with the guys in your head but pls for the love of batman don't use your personal headcanon as original material #and i say this as someone who love do headcanon #alfred is the one who give the robin to damian #dick was and STILL is a good brother to jason and the others #dick was never aggressive or abusive with robin!jason #dick was mand with bruce cuz bruce was irresponsible but dick like jason #the pre crise dick grayson wanted to adopt jason todd (and later he also wanted to adopt damian) #so for the fuck sake don't act like your personal and fav au is canon to justification of your demonization #batfamily #dc comics #dick grayson #jason todd #damian wayne #bruce wayne #tim drake #batfam headcanons #batfam #stephanie brown

[blackhholes]

Teen Wolf as Arthurian Characters

Derek Hale as Merlin

#teen wolf #twedit #teen wolf edit #twgifs #derek hale #merlin #arthurian legend #arthuriana #my gifs #mine #twarthur #the only real justification for this other than just vibes is that according to su “they're both mentors who suck at their jobs” #just constantly fucking up and making things worse for the person they're supposed to be helping #ALSO the colouring on this was insane to do #like it took me sooo long to get right and it's still not perfect but i've abused those curves enough #also tumblr logged me out in the middle of initially making this which feels targeted

[niccoughlan]

i can write screeds about TTPD dabbling in mental illness fetishistic aesthetic but tbh i care far more about the misogynoir tied up in the Healy apologism. No one has articulated it as well as the author of this Medium piece, in my opinion.

I don't need to add much except I use the phrase "human trafficking" for what the author calls "torture p*rn," because based on what I've read those women were drugged, abused, addicted, manipulated, deceived, and in some cases, took their own lives.

But sure he's a 'wild boy' with 'calloused hands,' a 'cowboy like [her].'

Show you proof of her racism? The proof is in the undercooked lyrics of TTPD and attempt to reframe the criticism of the fans as "they just don't like it when I date a Bad Boy (TM)."

#this is such a powerful and articulate piece #pls read #there will be no further explanation #just white justification (by cultist fans) #sadly #anti taylor swift #tw mental health #tw abuse #tw racism #tw human trafficking #tw suicide

[dyke-ulaura]

kinda crazy how back in 2019 people saw Marvin Hits Trina and thought ‘oh my god I cant believe Marvin abuses Whizzer’

#does this still happen or? #I know the abusive marvin headcanon still exists im talking about this specific justification #falsettos

[bonebabbles]

slash did disrespect the dead but at least he's not leaving the bodies out to rot like a spectacle for all to see. HORRENDOUSLY low bar, i know, but ... eugh

Like... he left Misty's corpse out there for at least a day, maybe longer. Wind Runner and Gorse HAPPENED to find it, and that lead to the Bumble death scene. Clear Sky disrespecting the dead was a relevant plot point.

But the team doesn't remember their own books so they've just totally forgotten that!

#The thing i keep circling back around to is how PAINFUL it is that they cannot have villains with nuance #You're either Evil or Misguided #Slash is a BORING villain. He's flat and one note. So badly written that I hope they are ashamed of themselves #Clear Sky is what real monsters and abusers ACT LIKE #He's a FANTASTIC villain. He's absolutely terrifying in how he is forever framing himself as a victim #He forces the world to move and calls its screams of pain an injustice to his heroic heart #But the erins swoon at it and buy his justifications wholesale #The 'redemption' was just EXONERATION #APOLOGIA #And it ruins him. Makes him the absolute worst character ever put to pen in this series imo #Dotc hate

[furiousgoldfish]

Actually all abuser's justifications for abusive don't hold up. If a child is being loud, annoying, selfish, rude or disruptive, how is abuse going to help? How is violence, yelling, unfair and disproportionate punishments going to rectify this or resolve the issue? Obviously the solution is to be adults about it and understand that this is a child, they are by nature disruptive, loud, selfihs, annoying and rude, that is literally any child because nature makes them like that! The abusers have been the same as children, they have no right to expect a child to be obedient little servant there to satisfy everyone's needs and never be annoying once, what the actual hell? No natural child is like that!

They'll also act like the child hurt them first, hit them first, provoked them, asked for it, so they 'deserved it', um what the damn hell are you talking about? Are you an adult or a helpless pile of mushed crap who gets provoked by a kid being a kid? Do you not know how to deal with an aggressive kid without bringing on trauma and violence? If you have actual beef with a freaking child as an adult, you are 100% in the wrong, every single time, what do you mean you didn't learn to control your violent impulses after the age of 15. Even children are more capable of handling a situation than you are, you stupid justifier of abuse, your arguments rely on everyone believing that you are a fucking incapable idiot. Telling how you never react the same from provocations from your friends or your boss, somehow in those situations you can keep you calm? Act maturely? Not scream or beat the shit out of those provocateurs? It's almost like you have perfect control but want to abuse children anyway.

Then there's also 'I had a hard childhood too', and you went out of your way to create more hard childhoods for other people? Oh not just other people, for children, your children, who are your own flesh and blood, who you took responsibility to protect and care for, to give them a good life and safe future? These are the people you decided should have a hard childhood because you had one? If a guy gets hit by a bus, can he now legally hit you with a bus and it's ok bc it happened to him first? Can every person in the world who had it tough now take it on you, and it's ok because they are the victims and you should just have understanding that it's okay they're now doing it to you? No you don't like that? Then shut your filthy mouth about your childhood, if you're bringing it up to justify your abuse instead of trying to dismantle it to make SURE you never do it to anyone else, I don't wanna fucking hear about it. Do not bring up your own abuse as a defense for when you abused someone else! It's not relevant! Bring it up in therapy! When you're not actively victimizing someone and asking for compassion and support from a person you took these same things away from!

Abuse helps nobody. It accomplishes nothing good for anyone. Desire to abuse is never justified. You can do every single thing in your life without abusing anyone. Do not fucking act otherwise. Nothing that ever happened to you gave you the right to hurt someone who couldn't fight back.

#child abuse #abuse excuses #abuse justifications #dismantling abuse #long term abuse #abuse deniers #abusers

[thekidthesuperkid]

Okay, listen guys. I get what you’re all saying with insisting that Bruce shouldn’t be written as an abusive parent. I get that you don’t want him to be abusive. I don’t want him to be either. But I keep seeing people argue that he can’t be abusive because he’s such an empathetic person. And I don’t necessarily disagree that he’s empathetic! But please understand that empathy and abuse are not mutually exclusive. A person can be perfectly capable of being kind sometimes and being abusive other times, and the kindness can even be completely genuine. A lot of people with abusive parents also have good memories with their parents. An abusive parent is rarely some sort of completely evil person. Most abusive parents do love their children to some extent. They might believe that what they’re doing is for the child’s benefit, or might not even realize that they are being abusive. Anyone can be abusive. And the idea that abusive parents only have the most horrible motivations for their actions tends to indirectly hurt the children of abusive parents, because their experiences get dismissed or ignored on the basis that “this person can’t be abusive, they’re so nice!” Bruce is perfectly capable of believing in redemption for the villains he faces, of treating victims with kindness and understanding, of fighting for Gotham citizens getting help and support to avoid a criminal lifestyle, and hurting his children. Please understand that “this person shows empathy” is not an argument against the possibility of abuse.

#and ​bruce’s parenting had toxic elements long before he ever started hitting his kids but that’s a whole other issue #i do believe that bruce cares very deeply about his children and everyone in gotham #but does he have a healthy and functional parenting style? ehhhh #it’s worrying but also kind of interesting to me that the fandom’s reasonings for why bruce isn’t a bad parent often mirror the #justifications applied to real-world situations #batman #bruce wayne #batfamily #batfam #dc comics #robin #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas #tw child abuse #my posts

[traumatizedjaguar]

Abusers never getting their story straight:

I spoke to one abuser who said that he wasn’t an abuser because he lacked self awareness about his behaviors during the time he abused women he had relationships with. So being mentally ill let him off the hook for abusive behaviors. But he still had a right to get revenge and abuse people in extreme ways who minorly hurt him as I was given details of those situations… but nobody has a right to hurt him back.

I spoke to one abuser who claimed he wasn’t the only abuser in the relationship and that him and his ex gf were 50/50 when it came to splitting up the role of being the abuser. So he went on to tell us in the chat that it’s a good thing bc now it’s a “fun” war where he’s justified in doing whatever he wants to his ex girlfriend and nobody can talk him into thinking differently. I asked for details and he told us, so fucking clearly, that his ex-gf just reacted to his abuse…. He drove her “crazy” basically.

I talked to another abuser that said he had NPD and his ex had CPTSD, OCD and BPD and he laughed about how they “made a beautiful mess of everything” when they dated. Red flag. From all the details, he had no self awareness of describing that he abused her first, but he thought “so what” bc “she’s bad too”, dragged her through horrible and stressful situations, justifying it bc “he had childhood trauma” causing her to react to him in such intensity and horrible behaviors back. He blamed her BPD and his NPD saying they were both abusers, but everything he described had absolutely nothing to do with her BPD, and more so to do with his treatment of her, and her simple reaction to that which can get either confused or overlap with BPD symptoms coming out. Why not blame her CPTSD? CPTSD had a lot of symptoms about flashbacks, emotional dysregulation, even anger issues sometimes and when she displays these symptoms why is that not automatic “she’s the abuser” with the CPTSD? Why not blame her OCD? Anxiety around loved ones too. He admitted without realizing it probably that he gaslit her and she did not gaslight him; he gaslighted her in extreme ways I was concerned that he will never change his way of thinking.

I’m spoke to another abuser who said he kept pushing a girl into a relationship and would never leave her alone and didn’t count this as emotional abuse and potential stalking. She non stop would run from him and tell him to get away and stop bothering her. He genuinely believed coercion isn’t abusive if he spread out his coercive behavior over the course of months as in: “coerce her for 3-5 minutes, then leave her alone, repeat for months every other week or so”. Which made no sense like “people change their minds especially if every week I can come up with something good to get her to turn her no into a yes”. He harassed her, stalked her, and coerced her into things she didn’t want to do and claimed she abused him when she reacted so badly to him one day at school and embarrassed him in front of all their classmates. Which he said he had a right to get revenge on her and bully her for embarrassing him; obviously he does not have a right to abuse her because he abused her first, she reacted and told him off in front of everybody, then he claimed to be a victim.

Mutual abuse is non-existent.

#my text #mutual abuse #excuses #justifications #cptsd #bpd #actuallyabused #gaslighting #psychological abuse #complex ptsd #actually cptsd #borderline personality disorder #bpd tag #bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd safe #ocd #cptsd vent #cptsd symptoms #ptsd #childhood abuse #anxiety disorders #gaslight #tw gaslighting #gaslit #emotional gaslighting

[daydreamerdrew]

All-Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder (2005) #3-4

#at the end of issue 4 #regarding Alfred being upset with Bruce for abusing Dick #Bruce is like ugh this brat is ruining everything #as though anything at all is Dick’s fault #it’s crazy how immature Bruce is #anyway it’s interesting to see the journey from Bruce acknowledging that he chose Dick and did so purposefully #and that it was a human action that messed up whatever his plan for recruiting Dick when he was older was #to the justification that this lifestyle supposedly chose Dick #that it’s fate and therefore Bruce isn’t liable #also I’m not expecting it but it would be interesting to see what Bruce’s original plans for recruiting Dick were in detail #dc #bruce wayne #dick grayson #my posts #comic panels

[aj-lenoire]

i do not enjoy harry potter anymore and even when i did, snape was not a character i ever liked, but for some reason my ‘for you’ page is just full of dedicated snape stan accounts and i hate it

#anti jk rowling #anti severus snape #anti harry potter #like okay i remain a strong proponent of ‘you are allowed to like whatever fiction you like’ #but it’s important to consider whether the author—when presenting certain subjects—critically evaluates their own opinion on those subjects #like how stephanie meyer in twilight thinks it’s funny to have all the vampires make dog jokes at jacob because he’s a werewolf #but he’s native so it comes off as REALLY racist #(and also in the case of jkr specifically she’s using her money from hp to fund terf shit LET HP DIE) #and the dozen-ish snape takes i’ve seen seem to demonstrate these accounts are either not interested in or cannot critically evaluate snape #a character written by a woman to be a redeemable asshole who take out a petty schoolyard resentment against a kid’s dad ON THE KID #the orphaned abused kid i might add—when the redeemable man in question is implied to have come from an abusive home himself #i just saw one like ‘oh if it’s okay to call him ‘snivellus’ then it must be okay to call luna ‘loony’ right? #sorry when was luna joining a hate group against muggles and muggle-borns #i don’t deny james and co bullied snape quite viciously but he gave back just as much and also never grew out of that pettiness #not to mention he only turned from voldemort because he was specifically going to kill lily #all other muggleborns dying was apparently just fine by him #i still don’t get the love of this character not because it’s a bad thing to like villainous characters #but it’s ALWAYS the justification of his actions—as if he was in the right to bully harry (an orphaned abused child) because of harry’s dad #there’s no criticism consideration of the author’s biases in there #should you not be a bit concerned that she thinks calling your best friend a slur ‘ONE TIME’ is something that should be just forgotten #aj abstractions

[bingusbongusbaba]

Gentle reminder:

Don't tell people to kill themselves, don't call people slurs, dont engourage people to harm themselves, dont victimblaim people, dont harrass kids.

YES, even if you see them as an awful person deserving of that, DONT DO IT.

Im looking at you, anti-shippers.

#antiship #anti #antishipper #abuse #cyberbullying #reminder #gentle reminder #harrassment #posting this cuz I saw a post where someone tried to justify this behaviour #theres no justification for abuse. harrasment. and getting kids to end their lives.

[pochapal]

having maria as a witch narrative scapegoat only required people's thinking to go no further than "i don't trust that maria told us the whole truth about what happened in the rose garden" so everyone going straight to this level of cruelty and vitriol is so extremely telling in the worst possible way.

#umineko liveblog #literally they all needed the bare minimum justification to turn on maria like that #like being traumatized and grieving and scared doesn't explain why these words are so readily on everyone's tongues #the abuse is like. it's so fully baked into these people's dna that it makes you nauseous to consider

[fernsnouveau]

What if we suggested that if you can't defend the Miraculous S5 ending without sounding like Mother Gothel, don't do it at all?

#of course the other option of just making completely baseless claims isn't that great either #ml s5 criticism #ml writing salt #ml writing criticism #ml critical #(I don't like that tag but whatever) #ml s5 finale #abuse #abuse apologism #whatever the writers may have intended. the thing that they actually produced #turned out abuse apologia and a power fantasy for abusive parents with a god/martyr complex #and a justification for why child abuse victims are just too emotionally immature and volatile to deserve control of their lives #'but Gabriel loved Adrien!!!' okay do you have any idea how many abusers use that to justify violating their victims? #it's sincerely jarring how comfortable the fandom has become with abuse apologia ever since the s5 finale. #it makes the fandom kinda unsafe to navigate for abuse victims who might not wanna keep running into people #repeating the same justifications ad nauseaum that irl abusers use.