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gennyanydots · 1 year

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I had to let go of you just to get a hold of myself part 13

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x f!reader

Just an epilogue left!

Planning a wedding turned out to be both easier and harder than you originally expected. Jake’s squadron couldn’t exactly all come to Texas for a wedding so the only available option was to get married in California which was fine with you. Having a sort of destination wedding limited the amount of guests you needed to invite which made it easier since not many people were going to leave Texas for a wedding outside of the immediate family. Not living anywhere close to where you were getting remarried definitely made it challenging. Jake had to step up for planning more than most grooms usually needed to. He didn’t mind. He especially didn’t mind going to the cake tasting all by himself. He would happily do that again.

Jake wanted to get remarried as soon as possible but you wanted to wait until the summer and well the saying is happy wife happy life, right? So you won that decision easily. Plus, it’s not like Jake doesn’t cave to you anyway all the time. You have him wrapped around your little finger once again.

You’re not the only one that gets spoiled by one Jake Seresin. Fiona loves that her Untle Jay does anything she asks. The Floyd’s ended up having a beautiful baby boy on Valentine’s Day that they ended up naming Westley. Baby West was as cute as can be much to Fiona’s disappointment. Kara and Bob made sure to send you lots and lots of pictures of both the new baby and the older baby who demanded pictures of her sent right alongside West’s pictures. Fiona took not being an only child anymore pretty hard at first but she’s warmed up to it slightly. Jake had told you he took her out for ice cream the week the baby was born and she complained the whole time about the baby crying which she said was “for no good reason”. Since then Jake has made sure to take her for ice cream every single week to give Fiona a break from her baby brother (and poor Kara and Bob a break from a jealous Fiona).

When you went to visit Jake over spring break to finish some wedding details you both ended up taking the clearly unloved and under appreciated Fiona to Disneyland and definitely didn’t spend the entire day spoiling her. You even kept her overnight for a sleepover to help Bob and Kara out. Baby West was only about a month and a half old by the time you were able to meet him but you weren’t allowed to spend much time with him as one Fiona Floyd was not about to share another one of her adult’s with the new baby. The next day after Disneyland was spent taking Fiona to pick out her flower girl dress. You ended up taking her to three shops before she made up her mind. Took you less time to choose your dress which only took one shop and three dresses. When you finally took Fi home she told her parents all about how she was now a princess, as if they hadn’t had any clue beforehand. Her new tiara atop her head definitely wasn’t a clue.

Also during your spring break Jake had taken you around to look at houses off base near the Floyd’s house. He knew you would rather be close to family rather than base. He would happily drive a little farther for work. He was even talking about driving you to work before you pointed out that your work day ended before his did and you didn’t feel like waiting for him to be done. You picked a beautiful three bedroom house that ended up being a couple houses down from the Floyd’s which made Fiona very happy. She already informed you how she wanted her room set up at your house, light purple glittery walls with a princess bed.

After your school let out for the year and you moved all your things to your new home in California, you weren’t surprised to find one of the spare bedrooms in your new home, the one that was meant to be your husband’s office, was now painted light purple with glittery walls. When you asked Jake about it he just shrugged and told you he needed a bigger office anyway so the basement worked better for him. Your husband, the pushover.

Moving in together again had been easier than you anticipated. An entire Naval aviation squadron at your disposal to move the few things you brought from your apartment and the many more things you brought from Jake’s childhood home, including his twin sized bed which you now how to figure out how to make it into a “princess bed”. His parents were happy to finally be rid of so much of his things.

Their happiness was nothing in comparison to Jake finally being reunited with his baby cat. Two visits with just you and not your cat was apparently “cruel and unusual punishment” and you were a “terrible mom for abandoning your baby”. The first day you moved in you’re pretty sure Pumpkin’s feet never once touched the ground, didn’t have to with a 6 foot pilot carrying her around to show her every part of her new home. He bought her a cat tree for every level of the house with several windows having cat bed ledges for her to lounge on. He had even found a cat wall climbing system that he’s been trying to convince you that she absolutely needs. His father was even been roped into adding input into the design to make it better. You just roll your eyes at him every time he brings it up especially since your cat isn’t the most graceful and would most likely fall constantly so she’s safer closer to the ground.

You moved in a week before your re-wedding, which is what you started calling it, you thought it sounded better than a vow renewal considering your first wedding had taken place in a court room one sunny July afternoon and vows were barely even exchanged. Now, finally after six months of waiting it’s here. You had both decided it made the most sense to do your re-wedding on your actual wedding date. So now on your 17th wedding anniversary you were getting married once again to the man of your dreams.

You spent the night in the hotel with your (Jake’s) two sisters before your loving mother-in-law pounded on the door to get the three of you up which was actually just two of you since Charlie had also spent the night with you all and Charlie was up and at ‘em bright and early.

The morning was a whirlwind of hair, makeup, dresses, snacks, and tears. You were finally getting the wedding of your dreams. You had found a hotel with a beautiful courtyard that had a small gazebo for the ceremony that had a large reception hall that opened up onto the beach with a couple fire pits. After dinner there would be s’more supplies on trays at each of the fire pits.

Catherine and Lauren were your co-maid/matron of honors. Kara was a bridesmaid and you had Harper as a junior bridesmaid. Fiona was of course your flower girl. She’d been practicing for months and you’re pretty sure it’s about to be impossible to take the flower girl dress off of her. Bob was Jake’s best man. Coyote, Benny, and Jared were groomsmen with Jamie being the ring bearer who informed Jake he needed to be a part of the wedding to keep an eye on him so there wasn’t any funny business.

Even though you and Jake were already married, Jake made Rooster get ordained to marry the both of you. Rooster jumped at the opportunity and apparently had been going around base recently pronouncing any two people he saw together as married. Jake said the entire Dagger Squad is married to at least one person by now. This past Wednesday Phoenix had apparently informed Rooster that if he kept it up she was going to duct tape his mouth shut and tell Jake to hogtie him which seemed to have shut him up.

It was a short but beautiful ceremony. Jake’s father walked you down the aisle and told him that he had been taking care of you since you were 18 and now Jake needed to step into the role he was meant to have for a long while. Jake nodded before you informed both of them that at no time did you need taken care of, that you were a strong independent woman who don’t need no man. Both Seresin men just rolled their eyes at you.

Rooster ended up doing a wonderful job with the ceremony which was probably because of all the practice he had. It was a much better ceremony than your first and slightly longer though not too long since you had so many kids in attendance. Jake wrote his own vows and apparently got some help from Tim, his psychiatrist, to help him put his thoughts into words. He was still seeing Tim monthly just to maintain everything he worked hard for. You were very proud of him.

Your first dance with Jake was to “You’re Still the One” by Shania Twain. It seemed fitting to you both since no matter what the both of you went through you still chose each other to love.

After your dance with Jake one Miss Fiona Floyd marched her little body up to Jake and demanded he dance with her next. In between your giggles you insisted that Jake and Fiona needed to dance together. When you cut the cake together you made sure to smash a whole handful into Jake’s face which was probably the best part of your wedding. Probably.

You danced your heart out with your husband, sisters and your new friends. Even Jake’s parents joined in on the dancing.

As the night was wrapping up due to some very sleepy kiddos, Jake was sure to do a big thank you to everyone for coming as people were gathering their things which was the perfect opportunity for Catherine to hand you a meticulously wrapped present before kissing your cheek and rushing off. As he wrapped up his thank you, you handed him the box and called to everyone to stick around for a minute for Jake to open a present. A few people got out their phones and started to record the scene.

Jake looked at you confused and you just shrugged and told him to open it. Jake eyed you suspiciously as he opened the box and peeked inside. Among the tissue paper lay a fuzzy black and white picture that he couldn’t quite make out. Again he looked over at you and you shrugged once again and pointed at the box. He sighed and handed you the picture before taking out a piece of the tissue paper and finding another picture underneath it, this one of his precious baby cat. He cooed over her then handed you the picture and lifted out another piece of tissue paper. You rolled your eyes towards your guests. Under this piece of tissue paper was a shirt that said “Dagger Dad” with a F-18 and he looked at you before handing it to you and lifting another piece of tissue paper. Underneath is a much smaller shirt with “Dagger baby” on it with a matching F-18.

Jake looks at you and raises an eyebrow, “Darlin’, I really don’t think we can wrestle Pumpkin into this.”

“You’re an idiot,” Jake’s sister, Catherine, calls to him.

You laugh, “I mean a little bit yeah.”

“Well that’s mean.”

You hand him back the things he handed you, “Really look at these things, babe.”

He looks at the fuzzy picture again and then looks at the picture of Pumpkin. He looks at it closer and realizes he misses something. In front of Pumpkin is a piece of paper that says, “My mom is making me a new…” the word servant is written with a line through it and the word “sibling” is written next to it. The look of realization on Jake’s face makes you laugh before he’s quickly pulling you into a hug.

“How far?” He asks as he holds you as close to him as he can.

“Three months. It’s a spring break baby,” you say smiling.

Your guests all clap and cheer after Jake calls to them, “I’m gonna be a dad!” Well all the guests except one Fiona Floyd who yelled, “No thank you!”

Part 14

#jake seresin x reader #jake ‘hangman’ Seresin x f!reader #hangman x female!reader #i had to let go of you just go get a hold of myself

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gremlinenthusiast · 21 days

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My D&D Party Nonsense

Cibal montague: The mostly pacifist Halfling Rogue / Artificer Cibal was my first ever Dnd character, he's a middle aged man who likes woodcarving and carpentry; he's a great shot with a crossbow and he's the product of a mostly isolated halfling village called Cobbleston. He started the campaign without any real concept of what death was, or at least didn't understand that it was a bad thing to kill someone and experienced an immense change in his morals early on, quickly becoming a pacifist and the moral compass of the entire party by default, despite the fact that he had 0 charisma and little to no understanding about the world. Among a bunch of things, here are the highlights of Cibal's experiences throughout the campaign -Received a prophecy from his lying alcoholic grandfather (No one including Cibal knew his name so he was just called Grandpa Montague) that he would leave the village he grew up in, go on an adventure and lose his arm in the process. -Skinned a kobold while they were asleep because he though they were already dead (the screams haunted him for months) -Got his hand covered in Tarrasque semen, which was pitch black and could be manipulated in all sorts of strange ways (Including forming it into a massive ballista that he and his party used to kill an avatar of yog-sothoth) -Set fire to a city in the underdark with alcohol produced by an alchemy jug (Everyone told him it was stupid, he showed them) -Absorbed more Tarrasque semen into his hand turning it gold -Made a direct threat to Asmodeus, the ruler of the nine hells. (He later got his shit kicked in for it) -After nearly losing his arm several times, Cibal started to warm up to the idea and decided to fulfill his grandpa's prophecy himself (He cut his Tarrasque arm off and stuffed it into a jar) and made a new mechanical arm out of wood and put a stored a bunch of gadgets in it. -Got his Tarrasque jar turned into five little Cibal clones made of Terrasque jizz that he could command -Briefly became a cleric of Pelor and found out he was kind of a celebrity among the gods. -Befriended a crystal Dragon which he named Scrontar (At the suggestion of his Grandpa) and took the form of a small crystal halfling -Died twice. The first time was in a fight with the humanoid form of his party member Wulfram's evil sword, the second time was when he made an attempt to stop a world wide calamity by reasoning with the beings that controlled the time stream, but he failed and got permanently erased from existence, which also meant no one remembered him or any of the things he did throughout the campaign, but the things he did still happened, they were just attributed to other people. :(

Cibal died permanently, so he never got an epilogue like his party members, however he did leave behind a litter of part Halfling - part Death slaad children (FIY Death Slaads are freaky frog monsters that don't have a canon breeding method, though other slaads just put tadpoles into humans, turning them into more slaads, but the DM and I decided that the circumstances of this Death slaad were more dire, so rather than putting a tadpole in one humanoid to make one death slaad, it made the much more desperate play of stealing Cibal's DNA to make a litter half-Slaad babies that feasted on its corpse after they were born.) After Cibal found a bunch of weird little gremlin monsters that had a striking resemblance to him in a tower near Cobbleston, he took them all home and raised them as his own kids (because it was pretty obvious that they were) They retained most of the memories from their Slaad half and matured shockingly quickly, within two years they were all basically full adults, with leathery patches of skin and yellow eyes. Cibal's kids are portrayed in the image above, from left to right they are: -Sampson Montague (The runt of the litter and the most physically similar to Cibal) -Yogma Montague (Named by Grandpa Montague and strived to become the first mayor of Cobbleston -Esmerelda Montague (considered the eldest sibling and has the most monsterous features, as well as powerful wild magic, After Cibal Died, Esmerelda took his place in the party and got up to all sorts of shenanigans) Montag (Monty) Montague (The most notable thing he inherited from his father were the bags under his eyes) Mandy Montague (Cibal's most well adjusted and normal child, she liked making clothes) The little mustached Halfling between Monty and Mandy is Grandpa Montague: It was eventually revealed to Cibal that Grandpa montague wasn't actually his Grandpa. When Cibal was young, Grandpa Montague told him that his parents ran away from home and never came back, this wasn't true, the truth was that Grandpa Montague was Cibal's dad and told Cibal that he was his Grandpa. Cibal never learned why, and he figured there probably wasn't an answer. Cibal never got used to calling Grandpa Montague anything other than Grandpa, even after learning his real name, Preator.

These are all the different forms that CIbal's right hand took throughout the campaign. 1. Normal 2. Terrasque hand v.1 3. Terrasque hand v.2 4. Wooden hand 5. Gloved hand After being revived the first time, Cibal had his arm back and while he wasn't crazy enough to cut it off twice, it bothered him sometimes, so he covered it up with a glove in the hopes that it would help him ignore it.

#dungeons and dragons #digital art #original character

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hskinhome · 4 months

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eridan here

i havve three timelines an im lookin for anyone so feel free to interact if any a this sounds familiar to you (as long as youre an adult as i'm 21) or evven if it doesnt honestly

but anywways here they are

canon-divergent:

this timeline follows canon for the most part up until the epilogues. anyone who died during the game was revived using jane's powers. after i was revived, i holes myself up in an apartment for a while, avoiding everyone else. then i ran into someone near the beach, though i can't quite remember who. anyways, they kinda helped me grow and re-introduced me back to my friends. i was also able to eventually salvage my moirailship with feferi after that.

no-sgrub:

this timeline follows a rebellion on alternia that took place instead of the game. i was a spy of sorts, and i had to help rescue sollux from being installed as a helmsman at one point. feferi liked to make us work together to help us get along. sollux and i often vacillated between pitch and flushed for each other. feferi was our auspistice whenever we leaned more pitch though. i'm pretty sure karkat ended up as my moirail, but i don't have many memories surrounding that.

humanstuck:

in this timeline, certain events paralleled canon in a more human way, if that makes any sense at all. for example, i remember getting in a pretty bad physical fight with sollux on school grounds in high school, instead of the meteor fight. we refused to be near each other for a while after that, but somehow we ended up working together or something like that? i also remember being in a pretty bad relationship with vriska in high school, on both sides. i think dave was my college roommate. feferi was my best friend since childhood. i can remember some specifics about almost everyone in this timeline, so feel free to ask for more memories!

Interact if this sounds familiar!

-Mod Nepeta

#homestuck #homestuck kin #canon call #eridan ampora kin #humanstuck eridan ampora kin #jane crocker kin #feferi peixes kin #sollux captor kin #karkat vantas kin #humanstuck sollux captor kin #humanstuck vriska serket kin #vriska serket kin #dave strider kin #humanstuck feferi peixes kin #humanstuck kin #mod nepeta

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virtual-minotaur · 1 year

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I don’t know what is compelling me to ask, but I badly want to know about your OCs!

Well of course you do :)

Problem is, I have over 600 OCs! It would be so incredibly hard for me to infodump about all 600 of them! In a manner that would be post-able on Tumblr!

SO under the break I'll give a quick breakdown of the... main stories/universes I have ^_^

You can also find my Toyhouse here! Folders are named and organized pretty thoroughly.

Tales of Astreus: Sci-fi, set in a near future of Earth. A small government has an empire that spans solar systems, and sentient species all over the galaxy fight back.

Main: Alex Cooper, a pilot to the Aegis Council, gets a small crew (Fuyuko, Valérie Blais) to complete a confidential mission. Months in, they get stopped by members of an Anti-Aegis organization (Kai Morgan, Knim) and have to work together as their ideals change. Space opera with a heist sub-plot.

Nekusasu: Worldbuilding side story, expanding upon the Nexus androids and the Nekusasu corporation.

Clicks: Worldbuilding side story, expanding upon the Clicks, an insect-like species with strict social roles.

Ma'atsul: Three young adults with powers relating to the elements have to stop a god killer who may be the fourth, lost member of their group. Late medieval fantasy (Alamiel, The Arsonist, Samira, Star, as well as 12 gods).

Kamaria: Fuga, heir to a small clan, and Ayda, princess of the kingdom of Kamaria, have to defeat an existential threat. Fantasy, most recent and with the most development needed.

H(A)UNTING: Contemporary fantasy/supernatural/horror. A company, highly secretive, classifies Unnatural events under 10 (eventually, 11) different Marks: the Collective, the Confinement, the Crawl, the Deep, the Mimic, the Ruin, the Sickness, the Solitary, the Tempest, the Viscera, (The Watcher).

Pyre Point: Main story. A scientist (Faux) uncovers secrets to Unnatural biology and the Midnight corporation has internal disputes. (Ellen Ward, Elliot Philips, and many more)

The End: Two Watchers (Wormwood and Andromalius) have to stop the End of Everything before it happens. (Featuring the Horsemen of the Apocalypse)

Rotting Heartz: An Unnatural band and an alternate future to The End story, with a post-apocalyptic setting.

Fortuna: There's no way I can explain it in words. Image attached. (Fortune/Sachiel, Abel Wilbert, Elias Henderson, and Smiley)

Deadly Sins: Set in a version of Hell, the Seven Deadly Sins personified have intertwined stories.

Alexandra: Moving for college, she encounters a family of vampires.

Sappho: Vampire from the early medieval age with a story spanning up to today.

My Property Isn't Normal: Based on the Reddit story of the same name.

Cowboys: Chris Sloan and Violet Noble butt heads in the american west while they try to uncover a mystery around the slaughter of the herd.

The Ocean: A pirate and a mermaid have a fateful meeting.

Animatronics: Less of a set world, and more of a collection of stories featuring animatronics.

Mythos' Diner: A story of familial tragedy and a continuing cycle of abuse, explored mostly through in-universe media and public reception, spanning 20+ years. An animatronic restaurant (similar to Chuck E. Cheese) themed around greek mythology. Lester Drakos, Harvey Lobos, Zero, and Aperes and the Muses.

Canidae: Originally a theme park in the 80s/90s, the characters were adapted into a cartoon in the early 2000s.

Feliforma: Competitor to Canidae Park, based on feliforms rather than canids.

Starlight: Contemporary fantasy. Maybe that's a strong descriptor... superheroes is more appropriate. Genetic mutations allow 10% of the population to have superpowers, and there are strict rules and regulations around who can become a superhero or supervillain.

Main: Kiran and Sasha are super rivals and romantically involved. A story about abuse and growth.

Epilogue: Post-main story, following high school aged supers and Kiran and Sasha's child.

Magical Girls: Not much in terms of names or character arcs, but magical girls who have to fight 7 Heavenly Virtues.

Many more miscellaneous supers...

Slasher: Again, less of a set world, and more a collection of different stories.

Shame: A group of college students find their deepest secrets and shames exposed by a ruthless killer.

Waterpark: Young adults spend their night in a closed waterpark, whilst being stalked by something.

Sunset Harbor, joint project with @/hellish-bone-monarch: A serial killer, infamous throughout the town, has a specific calling card. Copycat kills have been popping up recently, with people fearing of a twisted fanclub. College students are investigated regarding their alleged involvement.

Hound & Deer, also a join project with @/hellish-bone-monarch: Two slashers who are so so so sickly sweetly in love.

Garden of Eden: A retelling of the story through blogs and news sites.

Holmes: Retelling of Sherlock Holmes with contemporary characters.

Horror Game: No title as of yet, but two protagonists of different horror game genres are stuck together.

Space Rock Opera: No title as well, but a conceptual concert/stage play (think Halyx) that features space opera-type characters.

And MANY MANY MANY more miscellaneous characters without a specific story.

#angel.txt #ask #anonymous #hehe. ty for the ask and i hope you enjoy the lengthy reply.#my ocs #< since this is. all of them.

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eremji · 25 days

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Fic Questions Meme

How do you come up with the titles for your fics?

Is there anything worse than writing a title? Can I interest you in an action scene instead?

2. Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

cw: abuse (and the fic itself addresses pretty dark shit)

each lovely phrase (E) - Outlast - Eddie Gluskin/Waylon Park.

This is a weird vehicle for it, but this was written in part after my experience losing my abusive father to terminal illnesses without receiving any kind of resolution to my grief and anger. My situation was nowhere near as severe as the POV character's – my experience was entirely verbal/psychological mistreatment – and the fic wasn't intended to be a mirror of reality, but the rage and grief I felt definitely informed the POV character's pretty heavily.

3. What character do you identify with most?

I didn't have an answer to questions like this for a long time, but Kim Wexler from Better Call Saul is probably the closest I've ever come to wholly seeing myself in a character. She's a small town escapee with big ambitions, where her choices early in her life led her to some toxic and morally grey situations. There are innate tensions between competing goals – her desire to do something genuinely good, her desire to make all her work worthwhile by being intensely career oriented, and her desire to get one over on the people who have made her life harder – that really resonate with my early adult experience.

4. If you wrote a sequel to any of your published fics, what would it be about?

I'm satisfied with all of the currently published fics as they stand, actually; if I felt like something warranted a sequel or epilogue I generally wrote it directly after the first thing and posted it.

5. How would you describe your style?

I don't actually know how to answer this; I lack the technical vocabulary to define it. I'm sure someone has an answer, looking at my fic externally, but all I try to do is climb as far into a character's head as possible. Sometimes canon makes this easier; sometimes a film, a tv show, or a piece of written fiction has a very distinct voice to it, either in diction or visually, so its easy to match. Otherwise, I tend to do some exploratory writing from a character's POV to see if I can hit on something that makes me feel good.

6. Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

I don't actually believe in guilty pleasures when reading/writing, because its fiction! It isn't real! I'm unabashedly a monsterlover, robot fucker, dubious consent supporter, villain/hero shipper, and a whole mess of other things.

7. What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

I have a half-written fic rotting in my drafts folder where one of the main characters is dead from the start (they eventually get better, see my addendum to MCD fics in question 16 later on) and the whole thing is just a wild ride through grief and love, and not in any fandom or for any pairing you'd probably expect looking at either my reading or writing history.

8. What's the weirdest AU you've ever come up with?

I desperately wanted to write the Dinotopia!AU for SteveBucky where Bucky was a Skybax rider and Steve was a scholar but I couldn't figure out a good plot for the premise.

9. Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

I have an Inception fic due for a rewrite that was started based off a bunch of dreams I'd actually had, but the plot has changed (it actually has one instead of being a series of set pieces) so I need to restructure it.

10. Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

I have a few pages of a ST (AOS) WIP that's dom!Spock/mouthy sub!Kirk that explores D/s dynamics in the vein of Spock's enjoyment of having control (after feeling out of control compared to other Vulcans) and Kirk's unresolved issues with authority. Oh – and the entirety of the AOS plot after Kirk's disciplinary hearing doesn't happen, they're still at the Academy, and instead of punting Kirk they assign him to Spock under probation and Spock is actively one of Kirk's professors.

11. How do you begin a story--with the plot, or the characters?

Characters, by asking if there's any story there I'd want to tell for them in the first place. Sometimes that doesn't come along right away, but usually I can cook up a premise. Then it's seeing if I like it enough that I can get a plot up and running.

12. Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an "architect" or a "gardener"? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

Bigtime gardener. Sometimes I plant things that don't ever grow or need to be heavily pruned, but largely I don't write in order OR plot in order. Sometimes I write two scenes on opposite sides of the fic one right after another and use the results of the later scene to fill in the middle.

13. Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

Robert E. Howard is unquestionably at the top, outstripping any competition by miles.

14. Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

I will make at least a cursory attempt to read any fuck or die fic no matter how much I dislike the writing style. That link will never be unclicked.

15. Any fandom tropes you can't stand?

SO many. I'm one of the pickier readers and both my kudos and bookmarks reflect it. Most in the form of AUs (coffee shop, college, domestic, etc.) are a hard pass for me, but it genuinely varies from fandom to fandom and even ship to ship within the same fandom. If I don't like something generally (i.e. omegaverse) there's almost always at least one very well-written exception to that somewhere.

16. Major character death--do you ever write/read it?

I've only read a handful of 'real' MCD fics. If the canon conceit is that death is actually temporary, I'll go in as long as the condition is guaranteed to be reversed in some way (rebirth, resurrection, reincarnation) for a happy ending. I have a couple sitting in the background that I hope I could turn into something really wrenching (with revival and happy endings!).

#erem writes #this has been sitting in my drafts folder for so long I have no idea if someone tagged me in it #long post

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franticbindings · 1 month

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Played Escape from Dino Island a few months ago and thought I'd write about my experience here - it was a lot of fun!

Escape is a PBTA game that is designed to emulate Jurassic Park - a group of people get stuck on an island where there are unexpected dinosaurs, and they have to work together to survive and uncover the secrets of the island. Playbooks are expected tropes from the movie, like the paleontologist, the hunter and - of course - the kid. I played the kid! We managed to complete the game in one session (rushing a bit near the end) successfully escaping the island.

One twist that it has on other PBTA games I've read is the idea of "stories"; when you make certain moves you have to also tell a story based on one of the prompts on your playbook, revealing something about your character's past and giving insight into their motivations and desires. I believe that there is a mechanic where the ending of the game is determined by how many of these stories your characters told over the course of their escape, which reminded me a bit of Fiasco's epilogue where your characters ultimate fate is determined by your ratio of black and white dice. One other way this game reminded me of Fiasco is that about halfway through, something happens that ups the stakes for the characters - things go from dangerous but manageable to "we need to escape now, or we're all going to die".

My character was a Youtuber who did videos about urban legends and abandoned places, so I had a camera with me recording everything. The first half of the game we encountered some dinosaurs, ran from them, explored a bit - I think I interviewed the other player characters a bit about themselves, got footage of the abandoned facilities on the island. We eventually made our way to the headquarters of the island where things seemed somewhat safe, and that we'd get answers about what had happened there and potentially escape using a helicopter.

Everyone split up to go do different things - try and access the computers and look for medical supplies for the injured helicopter pilot. When trying to decide what my character was going to do, I thought about how we were getting to the point where the stakes were going to go up and what that might look like if this really was a movie and decided to lay one up for the GM; my character found a vending machine, broke into it for some candy (saving some for the PC that had saved me earlier) and started reviewing the footage I had already taken.

"Do I notice anything weird or unexpected?"

What proceeded was the most cinematic moments of the night; my character noticed some strange distortions in the recordings and ultimately worked out that they got progressively worse as time passed and were only happening when I was aiming the camera at the volcano on the island. Meanwhile the computer team managed to access the mainframe and uncover the temporal experiments going on at the volcano research station and how the island had been evacuated in anticipation of complete disaster. Right as my character got up to warn everyone about what he'd found, an earthquake hit the island. The mad dash for escape was on, and it was my favorite moment of the night - what "cinematic" means when it comes to games is a slippery question, but that whole series of events certainly qualifies in my mind.

A last thing I'd like to add was that I really liked the design of the the playbook that I played. One of the advanced moves that I took mid game was one that upgraded other PCs rolls one level - from failure to mixed success, or mixed success to full - so long as whatever they were doing was trying to save me. If you're at all familiar with PbtA, that's a shockingly powerful thing for a move to do, but in the terms of the specific genre the game was trying to emulate I thought it was very slick and perfectly designed. The kid gets put in danger, but the adults get them out of it somehow pretty much no matter what.

Anyways, fun game!

#ttrpgs #escape from dino island #pbta #ttrpg #indie ttrpg

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fnf-amateur-writing · 3 years

Note

Hey! It’s Fox again! How are you doing? I just started school back up today, so I’ve been busy Xp.

Think you would be cool with writing some Pico with an s/o who is a writer, and tends to ask him about things like “hey, how long does it take someone to bleed out” or other things like that?

I understand if you don’t feel like it, and I hope you’re having fun 😊

🦊

Hello again Fox, I'm doing quite well rn. I'm cool with your prompt, especially since I need more writing material anyways.

Took me a while, because I didn't want to do a hc, but rather come up with a oneshot with a little twist to the style. Well, hope it works well.

Good luck with school, mate!

TW: Mentions of violence, swearing, slight sexual reference, and crime.

Pico with a writer S/O who asks him strange questions

Prologue:

On a chilly autumn morning, you were sitting out on your patio with a laptop and a mug of your favourite beverage next to you. Whenever you looked up, you could see the warm coloured leaves fall as the breeze accompanied you. The whole scene was an aesthetic.

When your boyfriend, Pico, came outside to see this, he knew that the nice environment you surrounded yourself with meant one thing. "You're back in your writing space already. Heh, with that bestseller you published, I thought you were comfy taking a break." You simply smiled and said, "can't waste the inspiration rush I got right now."

Pico had a good point though, with your rising popularity as an author, you were near set to retire before turning fourty. But you wish you weren't given all of the credit, since your boyfriend's stories of his dodgy job has occasionally sparked some ideas for your stories. However the books you wrote in the past were usually meant for the young adult and had few mature themes. This time, you thought maybe it's time to garner extra inspiration from those stories.

You were met with some disappointment when you realised that your mug was empty, only a drop entering your mouth. "Here, babe, I'll ya some more," Pico said, taking your mug and walking inside. "Quick question," you stopped him. "Yeah?"

"What would be the best place for a murder cemetery?"

"... What?"

Chapter 1:

"So you're doing some story about the police hunting down a mass murderer?"

"Pretty much."

"And to think you were gonna write Pixar's next script. Aight' I respect that." Pico takes a seat next to you with a refill of your drink placed next to your favourite writing laptop. "Thanks, Pico. But yeah, I want to branch out to something edgier, and I think you can help too."

"Let me show you what I've got so far." You showed him some of your notes in a little notepad document, detailing the story thus far and your current plans for this chapter. "Oh, that's it? Just looks like boring police preparation mainly," Pico commented. "Yeah, it's not much right now. But it'll get juicy later." "And bloody?" "And bloody."

"Welp, I'm gonna head back in," Pico got up, "let me know if you need anything." He head back inside, closing the door, but then opened it almost immediately afterwards. Pico stuck his head out, "by the way, the guy should use some strong alcohol or something to throw off those sniffer dogs."

Chapter 2:

"And then, because they used a silencer, the police don't immediately notice the--"

"Nope! I'm calling bullshit (Y/N)!" Pico had suddenly interrupted your explanation of the scene you were currently working on. "Silencers can help prevent some hearing loss, sure, but they're not magic."

"Alright," you reply, "no silencer, but the killer still has to kill in a way to not get blood on them, so I thought shooting and killing them from a distance would work." "Well, they're alone. Instead, have the guy get shanked in the neck or something, and have the killer use a plastic bag as a glove. It saved my ass one time."

"Woah!" you exclaimed with a giggle, "you used a knife once? What happened to my trigger happy boyfriend, huh? That's pretty sus."

"I forgot to reload the Uzis, alright?"

"What an impostor would say."

Chapter 3:

"What would be the best way to muffle the scream of someone you kidnapped?"

You two were sitting on the couch together watching a show. You didn't have your laptop on you, so Pico didn't expect you to still be thinking about that book. "I can't say from experience, really," he said as he paused the show. "However, shove a rag in their mouth and duct tape it in, and you should be good."

"Thanks Pico, also one more thing." "Yeah?" "What if our killer also wanted to..." God, this one was gonna be awkward, but you had to say it or else no help. "You know, cut off this victim's willy. How would you do that?"

"Wai-wha-uh-ga," Pico started fumbling his words like never before. He stopped, then took a deep breath. "YO, WHAT THE FUCK?!" "It'll make sense in the story later, I promise!" You watch Pico begin to lose it, breaking into laughter. "Ladies, gentlemen, and others," Pico dramatically stood up, pulling a little Showcaster impression and directing his arms towards you, "my famous 'young' adult novelist partner!"

Chapter 4:

It was in the dead of night, but you awoke to Pico on his phone. His vpn was on and Tor was up. As per usual, he was checking up on his little hitman service, where others could request for a certain someone's guts to fly if they paid him a hefty sum first. Though tired, you ound this to be the best time to ask him some more questions.

"Pico, how do those sites work?"

"Oh, you're awake," Pico blankly stated, sleepy too. But he still answered you. "Basically, some anonymous rich guys in the area give me money and a target, then I just do the thing and send a mission accomplished email." "Do they pay you in person?" "Nah, we use always use Bitcoin. It's a lot harder to trace than real money."

"Thanks Pico. Goodnight," you wish him, yawning and going back to sleep. "You too... So this guy is a hit man too?" "Hush. Tomorrow." "Okay." Pico puts his phone away, leaving it on a nightstand. You then spoon the night away, peacefully thinking of murder as you drifted off.

Chapter 5:

On a morning similar to before, you two sat on the patio with your drinks and laptop at the ready. Pico watched rather awkwardly as you typed away, wondering why you haven't entertained him with another question yet.

"You gonna ask anything else?" "What? Oh, nah," you plainly state. Inevitable, sure, but he was kind of saddened. He liked being able to share his messed up wisdom. "So, you're done?" "Almost." You turn to look at him, "want the spoilers?" Pico smiled, "sure thing."

In the novella you and Pico crafted together, the main character is a cop who hunts down a killer. They eventually notice that there would be two murders at a time for unknown reasons. Well, it was unknown until one victim had left up a dark web hit man for hire site. They that the hit man not only kills the target, but the client as a hidden price for the service.

And any request will be fulfilled, according to the hit man's site.

"Do they catch 'em?" Pico asked. "Well, ANY request is granted. So, if our hero were to... hire him to kill himself..."

"No way!"

"He did. They find both of their bodies in his bedroom."

Pico was a bit impressed with the ending you came up with, but then he remembered something. "Why did that guy get his thing cut off?" "Lol, I forgot," you giggled. "He sent a message to the hit man, saying he wishes the target would choke on his dick."

"That's my favourite part."

Epilogue:

After everything was finished up, you sent the book off to your editor. After the initial joy of knowing how the story ended, you saw that Pico was still in thought. "What's up with you?" "Oh nothing, well it's just... I'm probably just biased, being that I'm a bit of a hitman myself, but it's kind of sad to see the guy go."

"Then I should spoil the epilogue I came up with." Rather than being excited, Pico nervously asked, "what's an epilogue?" He didn't get an answer, only you staring at him. "Sorry, school held too many bad memories for me to pay attention."

"Anyways," you continue, "the rest of the police gang did some background checks, and find that our killer was a normal guy with no criminal history."

"Penilian?"

"No. But I did decide to take a more supernatural approach here. Somewhere across the country, another string of double homicides occur and that site is active once more. And the story kind of repeats itself."

"Penilian."

"You joker," you give him a playful little kiss on the cheek, one that definitely caught him off guard. "So is it canon?" Pico smirked. "Nah, just thanking you for being my cute little co-author." "Oh," Pico started, "so we're flirtin' now, huh. Come here babe!" He tackled you onto the ground, giving you several kisses in exchange.

"Actually, I think we call that 'making out'," you chuckle out, flustered. "But that doesn't mean I said stop'!" You pull him in for more, accidentally bonking your heads together rather painfully. "Nice double kill there, (Y/N)."

#fnf x reader #fnf imagines #pico x reader #fnf pico

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tomtenadia · 3 years

Text

Fire in her veins - a Island Dreams AU oneshot

So, yesterday Island Dream reached the amazing milestone of 5k hits on AO3. For me, it means the world especially because ID has a special place in my heart. It was my first long Rowaelin, set in a place that I adore. It’s more than just a story. It’s set in a part of Scotland that has completely stolen my heart.

So, to celebrate I asked for prompts and @whimsicallyreading gave me a brilliant one.

“Aelin accidentally distracts Rowan and their stove catches on fire 🥰 would be funny to see the ID crew interact with a Fire Department 🤣”

inspiration hit in an instant. This fic is set about three years after the epilogue. The twins are 7 and Dalamar is 4. The story has a very Freyja-centred ending, mostly because she is my favourite. She is wild and fierce like her mother and she is funny. (Don’t get me wrong I adore Morrigan and Dalamar too. They are calmer and adorable in their own way.)

If you are new to Island Dream you can find it HERE

Well, without much further ado I will leave you to the story.

Rowan had a busy day at work. The bookshop had become very popular in town and business was good especially since Aelin had convinced him a while before to set up an internet page and an online ordering system. It had taken a while to really kick in but now he was basically serving the whole of the Hebrides and he had started getting orders as well from some remote location on the western highlands. Aelin had been right. She was the one who had started his Facebook page after all. He hated the whole thing - he had even deleted the profile he had created for fun, but he could not deny that it was handy for business. He had started promoting his events, he had hosted some indie authors and also had started a reading club at the weekend. He was proud of the job he had done. And now, with his aunt he was working on another stage. Her cafe had been shut for a few months after the last bad storm and flooding had caused some heavy damage. So when the bill for repairs had come Maeve knew it was too much and had decided to close to the dismay of the locals who loved her cakes and food. But Rowan had come up with a plan. The unit next to his shop had been vacant for a while so, he offered his aunt a deal. She could reopen her cafe inside his bookshop and they could merge the two units together. It had taken some convincing but in the end Maeve had accepted and the works had officially started.

Life was busy but he had never been happier. The twins were seven and were in P2 and Rowan could not believe how quickly they were growing up. Freyja was still as wild and school had been a challenge. She hated being forced to sit at a desk. Hated the uniform. Hated school, but apart from her rebel attitude, the teachers kept telling them that she was a bright pupil and both Rowan and Aelin relaxed. Morrigan, on the other hand was the opposite of her twin. She adored school and was still the quiet one in the family. Dalamar was still at nursery and was meant to start school the following year.

On that day Evalin had picked up the kids and brought them to the shop, something they adored. Then Rowan had taken them to swimming practice. He had kept his part time job as swimming instructor and the kids had followed in his footsteps. The twins being older were taking proper swimming classes while Dalamar just joined the club for the wee ones and splashed happily in the water while his sisters learnt to swim. When Aelin was not busy at the hospital she would accompany them and play with Dalamar.

Usually the swimming classes were enough to exhaust his kids that he could cook in peace while waiting for Aelin to get back. That evening she had texted him that they had a last minute emergency and was running late.

He tried for the umpteenth time to concentrate on a recipe for the evening when Freyja barged in the kitchen running followed by her brother and screaming that a dragon was chasing her.

Rowan grabbed his daughter and lifted her in his arms burying his face in her belly causing the girl to laugh hard “dad, the dragon” and wiggled in her father’s arms to get free but Rowan did not let go. He just walked to Dalamar and offered him his free arm “hop on, oh mighty dragon.” The boy grabbed his father’s forearm swinging like a monkey and Rowan walked into the living room, his daughter under one arms and his son swinging from the other like a jungle creature.

Morrigan joined the chaos a moment later. Rowan kneeled and she climbed on his back.

In that moment he heard the door of the house open and an instant later Aelin waltzed in the living room and saw her husband completely overwhelmed by their children. She laughed at the scene “what is happening in here?” Her hands on the hips.

“A dragon is following me.” Shouted Freyja, with still too much energy in her.

“I am not a dragon, I am a monkey.” Replied Dalamar, swinging a bit more from Rowan’s arm.

“And what are you doing, Morrigan?”

“The dragon has burned the floor.”

Rowan moved to the sofa and started to deposit the kids down “come on, let dad cook dinner. And don’t shout too much, mum is tired.”

The kids slowly climbed down their father and went to greet Aelin who hugged them all “did you all had a nice day? Did you go swimming tonight?”

“Yes.” The two girls shouted “Dad taught us how to jump in head first.”

Rowan roared with laughter “and they still are two clumsy little terrors who smash their bellies.”

“Be careful with that.” Said Aelin in full doctor mode “that type of jump is very risky, they can snap their neck if do not enter correctly.”

Rowan took a step towards his wife and wrapped his arms around her “I know. I would never put our daughters in danger.”

“Good,” she gave him a chaste kiss “now let mum take a shower and dad cook?”

“Tha.” Replied the three kids in unison.

The kids climbed back on the carpet Dalamar going back to his bricks, Morrigan to her colouring book and Freyja just kept swinging her plastic sword fighting some imaginary monster. While Aelin disappeared in the bathroom, Rowan finally managed to get back to the kitchen and think about dinner. It was getting late for the kids and he knew they would soon start to become agitated again and start bellowing for food. He grabbed a towel and threw it on his shoulder and then started preparing the ingredients. He was preparing veggie burgers made out of cous cous and chickpeas. The kids loved them. He was the one who cooked the most in the house since his hours were far more reliable and he had been doing his best to cook healthy meals, to Aelin displeasure as she complained that there were always far to many vegetables in his dishes. But she was okay with the kids following a healthy diet. Morrigan was pescatarian. The girl could not stand eating meat and last time Rowan had tried to give her beef or chicken, the poor girl had been sick all night. Whereas fish, she loved it and she was a happy veggie eater like her father. Dalamar would occasionally eat meat but with very little enthusiasms whereas Freyja was just like her mother. She would eat anything on her plate.

He was busy preparing the patties when he felt Aelin’s hand around his waist and a gentle kiss on his back.

“How the shift at the hospital?” He asked while finishing the patties and heating up the oil in the pan.

“Long.” She sighed against his chest “your dear wife might need some adult cuddling tonight.”

Rowan laughed and turned in her arms, throwing his towel on the counter. A deep kiss that, after seven years of marriage still made her toes curl. Aelin’s hands linked behind his neck and Rowan pushed her against the island and Aelin moaned in appreciation.

Until all hell broke loose.

The smoke alarm pierced the quiet of the room with its grating sound and when Aelin opened her eyes again she saw a quickly spreading fire behind Rowan.

“Rowan!” She shouted.

He turned quickly and looked for something to stop the fire but he was paralysed and he knew enough that water was not an option.

Aelin was already on the phone with the emergency services while Rowan grabbed another towel and tried to smother the fire with the only result of burning his hand.

“Ro, fire department is on its way.” She took his hand “a bad first degree burn.”

He was about to go and put it under the sink but Aelin stopped him.

At the deafening sound, the kids burst in the kitchen but Aelin pushed them away, taking Rowan with her “Come on kids let’s go back to the carpet.”

Morrigan and Dalamar went in their mother arms scared by the commotion. Freyja was standing just near the sofa looking at the fire in the kitchen in a daze.

Rowan noticed her and grabbed his daughter in his arms, ignoring the searing pain in his hand “That is dangerous.”

“It’s pretty.” Said the little girl.

It wasn’t long after that the fire department arrived.

A woman with blonde hair, who was clearly in charge gave some orders and the team had the fire out in no time.

“Is anyone hurt?” Asked her, joining the family in the living room.

“My husband. First degree burn on his hand.” Replied Aelin pointing at Rowan leaning against the back of the sofa.

The woman called over the radio for a paramedic and Rowan scoffed claiming that he did not need one but at Aelin glared at him and he shut up.

And while Morrigan and Dalamar were still on the carpet quite shaken by the ordeal, Freyja was moving toward the tall woman. She reached for the hem of her bunker gear and pulled, claiming attention.

“Hello little one.” Said the woman kneeling to be at eye level with the girl “There’s no more fire. We fixed it. You don’t have to be scared.”

Freyja pouted “I was not scared.”

The woman laughed and brushed her silver hair and the girl grinned.

“Are you a fire woman?” She asked, looking at the adult in front of her with deep admiration.

In that instant another woman and a man came through and gave her a report, the woman nodded and got back to the girl in front of her “Yes, I am.”

Freyja beamed “can I be a fire woman too?”

The fire captain placed her heavy hat on the girl’s head which was gigantic on her but Freyja shouted for her parents but Aelin was busy speaking to the man and her dad was in the capable hands of a paramedic who was tending to his hand.

“You can be anything you want to be.” Said the woman softly, taking her hat back then she stood and Freyja bent her head upwards to stare at the woman while she walked to her parents.

“There is some damage and you will have to replace the stove and probably paint the wall near it.” She explained “I would suggest to have a fire blanket and a small fire extinguisher for cooking oils. They can easily be found online and they are good to have in emergencies.”

“We will. Thank you so much.”

The woman nodded and left with her team, while the paramedic was finishing fixing up Rowan’s hand “Keep it clean and change the bandage regularly. There are ointments that you can use to help the healing process. If it gets worse make sure you go to the hospital.” Rowan looked at Aelin and grinned “thank you. My wife is an A&E doctor, I am sure she will keep me right.”

“That’s why she looks familiar. Western Isles hospital, isn’t it? You are Aelin.”

“Hi Sarah.”

Once the house was quiet again Aelin relaxed for a moment and Rowan went to Morrigan and Dalamar while Freyja was still staring at the door where the fire department had left.

“What is it, my love?”

Freyja turned at her mother’s voice, her face beaming with unbridled joy. They were all shaken by the evening, but her fierce girl was actually smiling.

“That was a fire woman.”

“Yes, my darling.”

“I want to be a fire woman too.”

Aelin crouched down to meet her daughter’s eyes and brushed some hair off her face “you can be anything you want to be, mo chridhe. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Freyja hugged her mother then ran to her father, sister and brother shouting that she was going to be a fire woman.

Rowan joined Aelin a moment later and pulled her to his chest “I am sorry.”

“For what?”

“I got distracted.”

Aelin lightly punched him in the chest “I am the one who distracted you.”

He sighed “we have no dinner.”

“I’ll phone mum and ask her if we can go to her place.”

Aelin disappeared and Rowan stood in the kitchen looking at the mess. The fire had quickly spread and a part of the counter was damaged too. Everything was covered in foam and wasn’t even sure if it was safe to use the oven. The patties lay like burned blobs at the side.

Aelin came back a moment later “mum is happy to have us. She is probably making dinner already.” She tugged her husband “let’s go, buzzard. We’ll think about it tomorrow.”

Once they finished getting the kids ready they went back to their room “So, Freyja wants to be a firefighter. She was staring at the fire in marvel and was amazed at seeing the two women firefighters.”

Rowan pulled Aelin to his chest “She is fearless like you. She has fire in her. I can totally see her become a badass firefighter.”

Aelin hugged him back in silence.

“She is our wee fireheart.”

Twelve years later, when Freyja finished her training at the fire academy and was assigned at the firehouse in Stornoway Aelin and Rowan happily looked back at that night knowing that it had changed the life of their daughter and were never happier of a fire in their house.

#island dreams #rowaelin #rowaelinkids #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin fanfiction #domestic fluff

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raysofcrosby · 3 years

Note

can we get a little sneak peak of the epilogue please i’m dying over here

of course 🥰

below the cut is a sneak peek of the wltay epilogue!

“Ethan, get over here!”

“Nuh uh, no way!” Ethan replied, standing beneath a tree with Brady by his side, feet away from where the rest of their families were standing with the lake in the background.

“Brady, shove my kid over here, will you?” Matt yelled, pointing at Ethan.

“Nope, we’re not coming anywhere near that thing!” Brady replied, pointing at the small, round table that their families were surrounded by, with none other than the most coveted prize in the NHL resting on top of it. “Sorry, but you’re taking the picture without us.”

“That doesn’t even–” Matt huffed before turning to Caroline with a pleading look. “Can you please get him before I take them out on the boat and leave them stranded in the lake?”

Caroline nodded, moving from her spot beside him and walking over to the shady tree where Brady and Ethan were standing. “Alright, what’s going on here?” She sighed, crossing her arms as she stood in front of them. “Why won’t you two get into the picture?”

“I can’t go near it, Momma! If I do, I won’t win it one day.” Ethan whined, eyes drifting back over to the cup. “So BeeBee and I are gonna stand right here until you guys are done.”

“Who told you that if you go near it you won’t win the Stanley Cup?”

“It’s common knowledge, Line!” Brady protested, crossing his arms. “If you touch it before you earn it, you’ll never win it. And I’m not taking any chances.”

“Me either,” Ethan nodded in agreement, his eyes taking another quick glimpse at the coveted cup just a ways away.

“I’m sure that’s not totally true,” she replied, letting her arms fall to her side. “There’s got to be some players out there who touched the cup as a kid or something and won it as an adult.”

“Oh yeah? Name one!” Ethan replied, crossing his arms and copying Brady.

“Hey, why are we standing beneath the tree?” Rob asked, walking over with a beer in his hand. “Aren’t we supposed to be taking Matt’s big family Stanley Cup picture?”

“Perfect, just the person I needed,” Caroline smiled, looking at Rob. “You won a Stanley Cup, tell Ethan that if he goes and takes a picture with it, that doesn’t mean he won’t ever win it.”

“Are you kidding?” Rob laughed, shaking his head as he pointed at Brady. “Him and Matt wouldn’t even stand in the same room as the cup when I had it for the day.”

“See!” Ethan whined again, pointing off at Matt. “If Dad didn’t take a picture with Rob’s Stanley Cup, why do I have to take one with his? He’s trying to ruin my chances.”

“You’re being dramatic, Ethan,” Caroline sighed, looking at Rob. “You’re telling me that not a single person has touched or taken a picture with the Stanley Cup before and then won it later on?”

“Oh yeah,” Rob nodded, taking a long sip of his beer. “I know of two people actually. Oshie and Shattenkirk. I’m pretty sure there’s pictures of them as kids floating around on the internet somewhere with the cup. Shattenkirk even posted it after he won the cup.”

“Thank you,” she replied, turning back to Ethan and Brady. “See? Your chances aren’t ruined now please get in the picture with your Dad. It would really mean a lot to him, plus it’s Father’s Day so it’d mean even more.”

Ethan looked back at the cup, the desire to stand near it was written all over his face before he looked back at her sighing as he uncrossed his arms. “Okay, I’ll get in the picture.”

“What?!” Brady gasped, looking down at Ethan. “Dude, we made a pact! You can’t go back on a pact just because your Mommy says you have to!”

“Braeden Tkachuk!” Chantal’s voice bellowed, Brady’s eyes widening in response. “Get over here now. If you don’t want to stand next to the cup, stand away from it, but you’re getting in your brother’s picture. He’d do it for you if you won the cup.”

“That’s debatable!” Matt chimed in, holding up his hand.

“Matthew!” Keith said, giving him a look before looking over at them. “Come on you four, time for the picture before we say goodbye to the cup later.”

“At least my Mom didn’t use my whole first name,” Ethan teased, smiling at Brady as they started to walk towards where everyone was grouped up..

“Your whole first name is literally Ethan, dude.” Brady replied, nudging Ethan ahead of him by the back of his head.

“But she still didn’t use my whole name. That means you got in trouble, not me,” Ethan replied, turning around and walking backwards. “I’m too cute to get in trouble.”

“Keep talking and we’ll see who ends up thrown in the lake.” Brady replied, taking a step towards Ethan to get him and acting like he was going to grab him.

Ethan spun around and ran the rest of the way towards Matt and everyone else, never looking back. “DAD HELP, BEEBEE SAID HE'S GONNA THROW ME IN THE LAKE!”

“Nobody likes a snitch!” Brady said, sticking his tongue out at Ethan as he walked by, staying as far away from the cup as he could before settling besides Emma, who was standing at the end of the table that was furthest away from the cup.

“Brady, shut up and take the picture. You’ve already delayed it enough,” Matt replied, standing in the middle of the table and directly behind the cup as Caroline settled in on his right, wrapping an arm around her waist as Ethan stood in front of them both, his eyes never leaving the big shiny cup.

#anon #answered #wltay

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shihalyfie · 4 years

Text

Shihanne’s Kizuna meta -- Part 1: The meaning behind Kizuna, and the actual cause of partnership dissolution

Kizuna is a very easy movie to misunderstand, and it’s not helped by the fact that the official translation kind of sucks. (Seriously, I highly recommend you check out the translation of one of the novels -- the Dash X or the Shueisha Mirai version -- because of how badly the official one sucks.) On top of that, a lot of its information is packed in the subtleties of a lot of its lines, which means that, without paying very close attention, you can walk off with a completely misleading interpretation of what the movie is trying to say. A lot of times I see people talking about how the movie’s message is about adulthood sucking, or partnership dissolution being an inevitable thing...when the movie actually makes multiple indications that this is not the case.

(The rest of the post contains major spoilers for the movie, so be warned.)

Do note that the below is only my personal interpretation, and because there is a lot to unpack with this movie, please feel free to disagree with or disregard any of my interpretations here.

Kizuna has a lot of things to say about adulthood, but the most obvious theme is, of course, “don’t be too trapped in nostalgia” -- represented by Menoa’s desire to trap everyone in Neverland so they can never move forward, and, on a meta level, the ridiculous amount of Adventure imagery associated with people who can’t move on (yeah, they weren’t really subtle about that part...). But as a result, the idea behind the movie is often taken the wrong way -- does this mean that they’re trashing on the very series they’re meant to honor? Is the movie about people having to swallow adulthood being painful? After all, the movie says that partners disappear when you become an adult! Isn’t the movie saying we all have to accept that (even though the sheer existence of the 02 epilogue should imply otherwise)?

Nope! The movie actually does have another inner layer about what it means to become an adult, and how to develop a healthy relationship with your adulthood that isn’t just violently cutting everything away -- in fact, it considers that to be another unhealthy extreme that it warns against. It’s just that this theme is a little more latently hidden, and you have to connect the dots a little to figure that out.

I think a lot of the reason so many people miss this is predicated on the fact that you are not supposed to take Menoa’s statement at face value. It’s her statement as presented in the official trailers and a lot of the advertising material, so it’s easy to think that she’s supposed to be the deliverer of the movie’s message, but that is very much not the case! Understanding this is key to understanding the core theme of the movie, and what it’s trying to say in terms of a lead-up to the 02 epilogue.

Menoa’s statement on adulthood, which is what the concept of partnership dissolution is supposedly predicated on, is the following (quoted from onkeikun’s translation of the Dash X Bunko novel, which uses the movie script):

Do all of you know why it’s children who are chosen to be partners with Digimon?... It’s because children are full of possibilities... The future is rife with limitless choices. You grow as a person by making those choices. “Growth” and “possibilities” together produce vast energy. As I’m sure you guys are already aware, the evolutions of your Digimon partners are triggered by your growth... When that power is gone… Your partnership with your Digimon ends.

Keep in mind that Menoa has built this “theory” based on her own experience. She’s convinced that her “choice” to become an adult was what took Morphomon from her. She’s convinced that Adulthood is Bad, and that Choices are Bad. Menoa is very much biased from her own experience, and her theory is not reliable. Seriously, do you think someone who eventually decides that forcing everyone into an eternal loop of their childhood is an excellent idea is a reliable source for these kinds of things?

Not only that, she’s also claiming that this is supposed to apply to all adults just because this happened to her. Although she claims that this is part of her research, there clearly have not been enough cases of partnership dissolution for this to be a well-known issue. Given that she lost Morphomon at a young age, and she’s one of the oldest Chosen Children, it’s natural that she might think that this might be a universal phenomenon and that it might not have “kicked in” for everyone else, but nevertheless, she’s committing a major no-no in scientific research -- extrapolating based on a painfully small sample size, and letting her own biased perception of events manipulate what she sees as the result.

When Gennai supposedly “confirms” the partnership dissolution phenomenon, note that he does not actually confirm Menoa’s theory.

Unfortunately, you are experiencing the case where your partnership is dissolving... But if you guys still have infinite possibility…Then it’s possible…

The fact that Gennai refers to it as a “case” is very important (it’s very clear in the Japanese line too, jirei). This is a thing that may happen. It is not a thing that is guaranteed to happen, and it’s not necessarily a thing that comes with adulthood like Menoa thinks. What’s more, he even acknowledges that “having infinite possibility” is still possible for adults -- something that doesn’t fit with Menoa’s theory on Adulthood Being Bad and how it diminishes possibility.

As the movie eventually goes into Menoa’s plan for “saving” Chosen Children, she justifies her motive by saying that losing partners is “fate” (shukumei). She thinks that losing partners is an inevitability. She thinks that this is just something that comes with adulthood, and that unless she forces everyone to stay in their childhood, their only recourse will be to suck it up and to be miserable.

This is why the climax is dedicated to Taichi and Yamato proving her wrong.

“What you’ve chosen wasn’t a mistake!” “But no matter what waits for us after making that choice…!” “We have to live with the decisions that we make!”... “We might not be able to change our fate. But!” “We can change our destiny!”

In essence, Taichi and Yamato are disproving both parts of Menoa’s theory on Adulthood Being Bad. It’s not that choices are inherently bad, it’s just that sometimes there are consequences of said choices...but it’s not like said consequences lead to dead ends. Taichi and Yamato, in contrast to Menoa’s belief in “fate”, believe in “destiny” (unmei) -- the difference being that they believe in being able to change that predetermined fate by their own efforts.

The concept had come up earlier in To Sora, too --

Hey, Sora-san. I think it was destiny that we became Chosen Children. But I don’t think it was fate.

It’s a completely different conversation, but Mimi is basically talking about the philosophy that pushes the Chosen Children forward -- that sure, some things seem to be predestined and beyond simple luck, but also that they’ve had choice in manipulating the events and changing what seems normally inevitable.

So if Menoa’s theory about partnerships dissolving in adulthood is questionable to begin with, then what does cause partnership dissolution? Again, it’s not actually established that this is something that happens to everyone. We only have four confirmed cases within the scope of the movie: Menoa herself, Taichi, Yamato, and Sora. So what do they have in common?

Well, the night before the ring appeared on Taichi and Yamato’s Digivices, they had this conversation:

“You should take Gabumon with you to your classes,” Taichi said jokingly. Yamato smiled wryly. “Don’t be stupid. Why don’t you take Agumon to your classes?” “It’s not that simple. I have my own life to live.”

And during the events of To Sora -- which presumably happened right before the ring appeared for Sora -- this happened:

When Piyomon had come to inform her that Koushiro had sent a message, Sora had said to her angrily, “Don’t bother me!” The distress and irritation of her practice not going well had caused Sora to take it out on her. But even when lashed out by that irrational anger, Piyomon had been the one who apologized. When she saw Piyomon hanging her head apologetically, Sora had felt a surge of regret but no room in her heart to apologize as well. “I need to focus on this right now…” She had said as her excuse, and looked away.

And in Menoa’s case, a certain something shows up in the Shueisha Mirai Bunko version of the novel -- it’s implied in the movie itself, but the novel itself says it pretty explicitly:

Waiting in front of the swing at her family’s home, where they’d always played together when Menoa was a child, was her beloved friend. Lately, she’d been studying so much that they hadn’t been talking to each other at all, so she wanted Morphomon to lavish her with praise. She wanted her to say, “Menoa, you’re amazing!”

See a pattern? All of the known cases of partnership dissolution involved neglect of their Digimon partners in pursuit of “adulthood”.

Taichi and Yamato ditched Agumon and Gabumon at the start of the movie and left them with their siblings. Agumon hadn’t even been to Taichi’s room before, even though Taichi lives by himself and is clearly lonely -- his reaction when Agumon finds his AVs, “you have to be an adult -- “ tells all, because he clearly thinks of Agumon as “a child” who shouldn’t be near his New Adult Life. Sora may have apologized later, but it sounds like there’s been a constant pattern of her starting to focus so much on her studies that she’s emotionally neglected Piyomon. And, of course, Menoa herself rushed so much to become “an adult” that she neglected her beloved partner in the process -- they weren’t even talking anymore! And the fact that the swing is discussed in past tense, when Menoa was a child, indicates that Morphomon may not be the only thing Menoa had tossed away in pursuit of “becoming an adult”.

(Note how Menoa constantly talked through the movie about the fact she and Morphomon had “always been together”, as if Morphomon had been ripped unfairly from her suddenly and for no reason...only for the revelation that Menoa was guilty of neglect to drop at the end. I repeat: Menoa is not a reliable person to be taking words at face value from.)

It really, really doesn’t seem like coincidence that Taichi and Yamato’s Digivice rings appeared the day after they flippantly laughed at the idea of taking Agumon and Gabumon to school because it would get in the way of “having their own lives to live”. Recall that Digimon in the Adventure universe have always generally been taken to represent an alter ego, or a part of oneself. (They were literally developed to represent part of the human soul in physical form.) On a symbolic level, your partner disappearing is representative of you losing touch with yourself -- and your own childhood innocence -- because of some arbitrary, societally-enforced standard of “becoming an adult”.

Fun side note? As mentioned in the movie, Eosmon is named after the Greek goddess of the dawn, who also has another interesting story about her: she fell in love with a mortal man and, not wanting him to die before her, requested that he be given eternal life, but neglected to ask that he be given eternal youth, and was forced to watch as her lover kept living on and on and withered further and further with age. Neglected the concept of youth, huh.

That’s why partnerships seem to dissolve with adulthood, but it’s not from the simple act of becoming an adult -- it happens when you take that adulthood and decide that you’re going to reject all of those “childish” things about yourself in pursuit of that goal, and lose yourself in the process. And sure, they may have tried to fix it right away, but these things aren’t just momentary moments of weakness; they build, and build, and build, and build, until you’re at the point of no return and need to take drastic measures to get it back.

And in fact, if you inspect the staff interviews (which have been, presumably, deliberately vague about this in the hopes of having the audience figure it out), they hint at it, too:

For this movie, we had the concept of "separation from their Digimon", which means being able to completely separate yourself from your past self, or rather, wondering if it might be better to cut yourself entirely from your past adventures in becoming more like an adult.

Not only that, but this explanation tracks much better than what Menoa claims is the case. Under Menoa’s explanation of choices diminishing possibilities, characters like Daisuke and Jou who had their paths already determined from an early age should have lost their partners a long time ago, and conversely, Taichi and Yamato, who weren’t sure on what to do with their lives at the beginning of the movie, should not have lost their partners. But “emotional neglect from the obsession with growing up” tracks even with our “outlier” cases -- Menoa “forced” herself to become an adult at the very-not-adult age of 14 and lost her partner, while Oikawa also didn’t actually get to “meet” Pipimon until he accepted that exact same thing -- that he needed to embrace the “power to dream” instead of considering himself a “tainted adult”.

(Ichijouji Ken, who could be argued to be guilty of emotional neglect of Wormmon in some sense, initially seems like a violation of this principle, but closely observing the Kaiser’s behavior during 02 indicates an often paradoxical thread of behavior implying that he seemed to have been rejecting and yet wanting him nearby at the same time, which is part of the reason Wormmon’s death breaks him so badly. In fact, it often feels like he goes out of his way to acknowledge Wormmon for the specific purpose of rejecting him. In a metaphorical sense, knowing that Wormmon is representative of Ken’s own inner self, the metaphor of Ken being in perpetual internal conflict of constantly trying to outwardly reject his own heart for being “weak” yet never truly being able to escape it until he’s finally forced to accept it for good is not lost. It was not a positive relationship with Wormmon by any means, but it was, nevertheless, a conscious and active relationship, for which “neglect” does not feel like an appropriate word.)

When you look back at Menoa’s life and backstory, it then becomes clear how she made her mistake in her theory. Menoa basically threw away her childhood in order to become an adult, and she never learned to embrace the happy medium between having an unhealthy attachment to the past and violently cutting it off. Late in the movie, she claims that there’s nobody else who understands how she feels, and we also learn in her flashback that she had an obsession with doing things “on her own”, or in other words, she cut off any potential friends or people who could help her (Morphomon seems to have legitimately been her only friend and confidant). So in her mind, “losing touch with your inner self and having no connection to the happiness of your childhood” is fundamentally synonymous with becoming an adult. That’s how she develops her mentality of “adulthood is drudgery and has no value, and we’d be better off never getting there” -- and that adulthood strips people of possibilities and therefore provides no recourse from losing your Digimon partner, and that the only way to reclaim anything from your childhood is to just shove yourself back into its box. Her own life had no such hope in it, so she projects that lack of hope onto everyone else.

With that in mind, the two major questions that come from this:

Will this happen to everyone? Hard to say, but I don’t think it would necessarily. Remember, even though Menoa is one of the oldest Chosen Children and had this happen to her at an abnormally early age, not everyone has such an unhealthy relationship with adulthood, nor is as likely to neglect their partners nearly as much in the process of figuring out what adulthood means to them. That doesn’t mean that those it does happen to made some “mistake” or “messed up”, though -- press materials and the BD commentary made it clear that this was not a movie intended to endorse “one way to live”, and sometimes the degree of introspection and experimentation with what adulthood means to you does result in momentarily trying to cut things away until you figure your life balance out, especially if you want to take on a challenge with as high of a hurdle as Taichi’s road to becoming a diplomat.

So what’s the solution? Although it’s still left to everyone’s imagination to figure out the details, at the very least, figuring out yourself and snapping yourself out of this very unhealthy relationship with “growing up” and holding yourself to arbitrary, false standards is probably a great start! Menoa had her “vision” of Morphomon the moment Taichi and Yamato’s words reached her within Eosmon. Gennai specifically says that partnership dissolution will cause the Digimon to disappear in terms of losing their “form” (sugata), but given that Digimon in the Adventure universe are supposed to represent a part of yourself, they’re probably still there (just not there)! In that light, getting them back...is probably not actually all that hard, if they can sit down and take some time to figure themselves out. That’s why Menoa never figured it out this whole time in the last eight years; she was so busy focusing on “scientific” ways to get Morphomon back, and staying perpetually stuck in a twisted nostalgic version of her past, that she never actually sat down to think about herself and what she was doing. And that’s why the movie’s climax is about Taichi blowing the whistle to wake everyone up -- it’s still about moving forward, but it’s about using your past to move forward, instead of gravitating to the extremes of either latching onto it eternally or attempting to abandon it outright.

So really, the solution is for everyone to get some damn therapy.

Given that, the path to the 02 epilogue doesn’t actually seem that particularly difficult compared to how Menoa made the problem initially sound like. It’s not like every adult is going to inevitably have this happen as a process, and thus it’s not like everyone has to find some magical technical solution that’ll rectify one of the laws of the universe. The solution is really more somewhere between the unhealthy extremes presented in the movie -- Menoa’s fixation on nostalgia and the past being the only good thing in her life, and Taichi and Yamato (initially) rejecting said childhoods in favor of “adulthood” -- and figuring out how to use and cherish your childhood, past experiences, and inner self to move forward.

And given Sora’s revelation in To Sora about taking care of herself more, and Taichi and Yamato starting to settle on their career decisions for real by the end of Kizuna, they’re already on their way to figuring things out. Or, in other words, it’s likely that they’ll get their partners back simply through the natural course of making their way to the epilogue. Taichi’s starting to value his childhood experiences as important in his future work in diplomacy. Yamato, according to the Shueisha Mirai version of the novel, is becoming an astronaut to entertain the “romantic” dream of going to space with Gabumon. Sora, as per the 02 epilogue, will end up known not for being an iemoto heir but a kimono designer -- a skill that she’s presumably going to be discovering on her own, and not under obligations to others. Gennai himself said that there was hope as long as they still had “infinite possibility” -- something that Taichi, Yamato, and Sora were closing up on themselves at the beginning of this movie, but were starting to re-open the door to again once they started reconnecting with themselves and embarking on some proper paths by the end of it.

“We’ll definitely come to see you” -- indeed, they will.

(Next is the sequel to this meta, where I discuss Kizuna’s relationship with not only 02′s epilogue but also 02 itself as a whole, and the reason the 02 group has such an unusual position in this movie.)

#digimon #digimon adventure last evolution kizuna #shihameta #kizuna spoilers

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yuzukult · 4 years

Text

effortlessly pt. 3 || jungkook & reader

title: effortlessly pairing: jungkook x reader genre: fluff, romance, school!au, smut (not in this chapter, will occur in future chapters) words: ~3.3k notes: i wrote this in between writing my reports and preparing for my presentation... yes, inspiration always sparks when you have other things to prioritize ** tried my best to proofread this one lol

i do not have an update schedule therefore i know that i definitely did just post part two like 2-3 days ago so...

series: part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || part seven || part eight || part nine || part ten || epilogue

This was utterly uncomfortable for the three of you... well the two of you because Jungkook is standing there with a smile still stretched across his face. It’s difficult to judge what thoughts are running through his head because he’s pointing to the bag in Dahyun’s hand as she lifts her arm up to give it to him.

“Well, I’m glad you like me. I’m your tutor after all. It would have been really weird if you hated me—”

“Jeon, she has feelings for you.” You break in, scantily agitated with his absentmindedness. Jungkook wasn’t stupid when it came to the books, blessed with athletic ability, and had great social skills but he was awful in the love department.

“Feelings?” He turns to look at you surprisingly before switching his stare back to Dahyun. “When you say ‘go out’ you mean... date. As in more than a friend?”

You’re doubtful if Dahyun is thankful for your presence or not, however she’s sighing with relief that he finally reads her perspective successfully. Jungkook had misinterpreted almost every confession is what Dahyun learns, fearing that he would do the same with her. “Yes, oppa. I want to be more than friends, have more than just a student and tutor relationship with you.”

You want to run and hide. Why the hell did Jungkook tell her to say it with you standing here? You’ve encountered plenty of occasions where the atmosphere was awkward but this takes the cake. Jungkook never failed to surprise you.

Clearing your throat, you sheepishly rub the back of your neck. “Uh, I’m just gonna wait outside. I’ll be by your car when you’re done.”

Jungkook’s piercing gaze meets yours and if you didn’t turn away, you’re definitely sure that you’d feel the daggers.

“I’m sorry, Dahyun-ah.” His face is washed with guilt and sympathy but the look on Dahyun’s face doesn’t show an ounce of bitterness or sadness. “Don’t worry about it, Oppa. I know you mean well.”

Jungkook’s rummaging through his duffle bag that sits on one of the benches by the pool, searching for a shirt before throwing it over his body. He recognizes how embarrassing it is standing in front of a girl who just confessed to him and he doesn’t even have a shirt on.

“I’m sorry. I... want to prioritize swimming right now. I haven’t even really thought about dating anyone else right now. Recruiters are coming by the finals and I want to be ready for it.”

“Anyone else?” She pushes a strand of hair behind her ear, deep in thought. “Was it the girl that was standing here just now? Is she that ‘anyone else’?”

Startled, his eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

“Jungkook Oppa, please don’t make excuses and lie to me. If you don’t like me back, just come out and say it. I can take rejection.”

He frowns. He isn’t familiar with the emotion resulting in being turned down by someone you like but he can comprehend the feeling of longing for someone you can’t have. “Dahyun, it’s not the right time. There’s nothing wrong with you, I’m just very dedicated to my career.” Jungkook hesitates for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip before gathering enough courage to continue his response authentically. “And I’ll be honest, I’ve had my eye on someone for a long time. I’m waiting for her to notice her own feelings without pressuring her. I hope you understand.”

But she clearly doesn’t. Her heart feels like it’s being torn into shreds carelessly and she wants to burst into tears but she holds a facade in front of Jungkook to validate her own ‘mature and adult demeanor,’ and that she wasn’t just any younger girl he tutors.

“I don’t,” She admits, clenching her teeth. “But I won’t pursue you anymore. I’ll see you after I get the results of my math exam back.” Dahyun says firmly before making her way out of the swimming arena.

Heaving a sigh of alleviation, Jungkook slugs the duffle bag over his shoulder as he watches her silhouette disappear.

Despite all the lovely things about him, Jungkook’s biggest flaw was his guilty conscience. He always found himself in situations where he’d do things for people out of feeling guilty, even if it meant he had to go out of his way to do it. He had been trying to practice the words “no” or “I can’t” but the terms would eat him up inside, causing his stomach to churn in anxiety. He would have inner arguments with himself until he goes back and tells the person that he can do it, even if he didn’t want to.

In a different scenario, he could see himself telling Dahyun that he would consider her confession and take her out on a date. Even though she was a bit younger than him, she was pretty and nice but saying yes to her meant that his chances with you were slim.

Yet again, your existence in his life only improved him for the better. For the first time, he said no to someone, for the benefit of himself, even if the situation wasn’t good for someone else.

You’re leaning on Jungkook’s old beat up Lexus in the parking lot of the school, playing Animal Crossing on your phone before the shadow of a figure approaches you slowly, altering your attention toward the person. Dahyun.

“Dahyun,” You call out, standing up straight and off the car. “Uh, sorry about Jungkook. How are you?”

Dahyun stands there, a blank look slapped on her face as if she’s seen a ghost. “He said swimming comes first. Then he said something about having feelings for someone else. Is he just finding excuses to reject me at this point?”

“Huh?” Slips from your lips, a dumbfounded expression on your face. “He has feelings for someone? I didn’t know that specifically, but uh, I do know that swimming is Jungkook’s dream. Don’t take it personally, it’s just something he has always wanted to do.”

She shakes her head, regaining consciousness again before locking eyes with yours. “He definitely said he had feelings for someone. How don’t you know? Aren’t you supposed to be his friend?”

“Yes but—“ You’re hesitating, uncertain on how to comfort her. This hasn’t necessarily been your strongest suit and it was starting to bite you in the ass for never strengthening that weakness. “—I’m sure that even with whomever he said he has feelings for, he’s still prioritizing his dreams.”

“I guess I was stupid enough to think someone like him could ever fall for someone like me.”

Watching as Dahyun slouches in her school uniform while exhaling a deep breath, you couldn’t help but feel yourself in her position. Her shoulders drop along with her expression before she attempts to shake off the melancholic emotions, waving a goodbye to you. “I’m going to head home. Thanks anyway.”

In a sense, you were Dahyun. Maybe not someone who Jungkook tutors but the words that Dahyun said rang in your ears like a thought you had previously. I guess I was stupid enough to think someone like him could ever fall for someone like me. What made you special enough in Jungkook’s eyes to be more than just a friend? What about this girl that Dahyun was talking about? Who was she and would you even be able to convince Jungkook of your feelings enough for him to consider you?

Jungkook’s nearing appearance manages to snap you out of your thoughts before it got any more negative than it already had. He unlocks the car doors, slamming it after he settles into the seat. You follow in unison with his actions.

“Ugh,” He groans, dropping his forehead onto the steering wheel of his car. “That was my first rejection. I feel so bad for her.”

“Everyone gets rejected at least once, I’m sure she’ll be okay eventually.”

Jungkook throws his head back against the leather seats that are worn to the point it’s peeling and tearing off. He refused to get himself seat covers because he liked the authentic look of the car being in its original shape.

“She looked like she was going to burst into tears.”

“What are you going to do then? Date her out of pity?” You raise a brow questioningly. He looks in your direction with a pout and you shake your head in response. “That’s what I thought. Speaking of, how are you going to interrogate me about having a crush when Dahyun here just told me you have feelings for someone? Contradicting, much?”

He freezes. The keys are in the ignition but he hasn’t started the vehicle yet, jaw clenched restlessly. Jungkook is trying to observe your expression through his peripheral vision but fails miserably. “... Did she say anything else?”

“Nothing other than you saying that swimming is number one. Why, did you tell her anything else?”

“Uh, no.” He says abruptly, finally turning the key as the car stutters until letting out a heavy rumble. Tilting your head, it’s your turn to lean in closer to Jungkook to examine his face. “You told her about the girl, didn’t you?”

“Uh, no.” He repeats, gulping anxiously.

“Who is she?”

“I never said there was a girl.”

“You’re lying. You said earlier that you could tell when I lie. Do you think I don’t have that same exact ability? Come on, Jeon. Talk to me.”

“Nah,” Clicking the seatbelt on over his body, he puts the car in drive before hitting the gas. “Maybe I’ll tell you more during dessert. After you tell me what’s on your mind lately.”

“Has Jungkook ever had a girlfriend?”

“What?” You retort, completely off-guard. You’re sitting squished at a table in a KBBQ restaurant with the rest of Jungkook’s swim team including several of their girlfriends and other friends. Hoseok is sitting across from you, munching on another piece of grilled pork before reiterating his question.

“You’ve known him like forever. Has he ever had a girlfriend?”

“... Not that I know of—“

“No.” Jungkook chimes in, squinting his eyes at the older male. “Why are you asking this?”

“You wouldn’t tell me,” Hoseok says casually, eyeing the younger with the same expression. “Plus, I wanna hook you up with someone. Are you just going to be a prude up until college?”

“No.” Jungkook says again, picking up his chopsticks to grab a couple pieces of cooked meat and placing it onto your plate. Hoseok is watching closely at the actions between the two of you and you can feel his intense stare penetrating through you.

Hoseok snaps, his face brightening. “Exactly! That’s why I want you to meet with this girl I know, maybe she can—”

Jungkook waves his hand in dismissal, leaning his other arm on the table. “I meant no, as in no, Hoseok, I am not a prude.” With those words, suddenly his audience extended from Hoseok to the entire team.

“Bro, you’re fucking with us. You kissed someone?”

“Well,” He starts, dropping his body onto the back of his seat. “I did it all.”

Your face is flushing crimson. Jungkook is really testing your patience today, isn’t he? First Dahyun’s confession and now this? Stuffing lettuce and a couple pieces of meat into your mouth, you’re attempting to pretend to keep yourself busy to the point that you’re not included in the conversation.

“No way,” Hoseok’s eyes are widened to the point it could fall out of its sockets. “Who was it? Do we know her?”

“I don’t think it matters.” Jungkook responds, stuffing some kimchi into Hoseok’s mouth to stop him from speaking any more. “You don’t need to hook me up then, right? Since I already lost my virginity?”

“Oh, it definitely matters,” Chimes in Jimin, another member from the team. He’s sitting on the other side of Jungkook, tugging on the younger male’s sleeve. “Tell us, tell us! You never even had a girlfriend. Was it a one night stand? Do you even do one night stands? You don’t even look like you sleep around.”

Irritated by the interrogation, he groans, aggressively ruffling his hair. He smells like your signature vanilla scented shampoo and you’re wondering if he stole some from your house or if he decided that it was going to be a staple item in his routine. “I don’t do one night stands. She’s just someone I wanted to do my first time with.”

“Wow, she sounds special. You gonna ask her out or what?” Jimin asks, body shifting closer to Jungkook.

“What makes you think he likes her?” Hoseok counters.

Jimin rolls his eyes at his teammate before attacking back. “He specifically wanted her to take his virginity, what else could it be?”

Hoseok’s mouth drops, suddenly shocked by Jimin’s statement. “Wait, you make a good point. Forget that college chick taking your virginity, who’s this girl that you, yourself, chose to pop your cherry? I wanna know! Wait—” His lips tug into an impish grin as he turns to watch you cramming a portion full of kimchi into your mouth. “—You know.”

“What?” You say; if Yura was here right now she’d call you a hypocrite for speaking with your mouth full. “You know who the girl is. It’s impossible for Jungkook to hide anything from you, you definitely know who it is.”

“I—“ Just then, the door of the restaurant rings its bell, a figure making its way to the table as he screams a bright “hello!”

Kim Taehyung.

He’s still as handsome as ever. The last time you saw him, his hair was in between a shade of grey and a platinum but you’re not really sure since it was hidden underneath his graduation cap. He must have dyed it sometime when he left because the strands from his head are now a pastel pink.

Taehyung was your unofficial hero, intruding in the conversation and capturing everyone’s attention away from you when you needed him the most.

The team is rowdy at the sight of their friend, taking turns shoving and pulling on him as he expresses his love for them in return, full of laughs and smiles.

“I heard our little Kook won the 100m freestyle today!” He says, hand on Jungkook’s shoulder, dragging him into his embrace. “Congrats! I’m so proud of you! I also missed you, buddy. Look how far you’ve gone!”

Despite Jungkook dismissing your crush on Taehyung, he was still Jungkook’s role model. Taehyung did the impossible— snatching up the international scholarship and heading to a well renowned university to be part of their swim team. Everything Taehyung was is what Jungkook aspired to be.

“Thanks, Hyung. Can’t believe you’re back, what are you doing here?”

He lets out a chuckle, running his fingers through his soft locks that cascaded over his face. Taehyung was like the lead character of an anime; a flawless personality and attractive. Maybe the only negative thing about him was that he never pursued a relationship and girls were always left rejected, jilted and disappointed... why does that sound familiar?

“Decided to come back during my semester break. Where’s your love?” Right when he says the term of endearment, his eyes meet yours, your cheeks burning hot. “Taehyung.”

The way he says your name sounds smooth and sweet like honey to the point it’s what you want yourself to drown in. He’s advancing toward you, arms opened and welcoming you into his hold. “Missed you, bub. We should meet during my time here and catch up.”

From behind, Jungkook’s nose is scrunched up in disgust. Bub?

The night was filled with stories of the States that Taehyung shares amongst the group; how he managed to get lost after getting on the subway, or a time where he ordered the wrong thing off the menu but it was a great experience, or the time he dyed his hair the wrong color because of miscommunication with the barber. Regardless, Taehyung was living an entirely different life in America and although alone, he seemed... happy.

Eventually, the owners of the restaurant have to escort you guys out of the place, overstaying your welcome there.

“Shall we head for dessert?” Jungkook asks, hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

“This late?”

“Maybe places aren’t open but... you wanna stay over the night? I’ve been waiting patiently throughout dinner to hear what you’re going to say and I don’t want to leave the night without hearing it.”

Right. You were supposed to confess to Jungkook tonight. You had finally gathered enough courage to confess to your best friend of almost two decades, possibly throwing your friendship on the line. Should you even do it? Was it even worth it?

“Please.” Jungkook begs, pouting with his puppy eyes. And as if he could almost read your mind, he adds, “Nothing you can say will make me leave you.”

“Fine. Let’s go.”

Out of the shower, you point with your head toward the bathroom, trying to grab Jungkook’s attention by calling out his name. You’re in a baggy shirt you borrow from him and a pair of shorts you accidentally left over, too lazy to actually walk over next door to grab your own clothes for the night. “It’s your turn.”

He swallows. His stare is glued to your exposed, smooth, freshly shaved legs that you flaunt previously in achievement. Eyes roaming over your body, he feels his lower stomach stir when he notices how obvious it is you’re not wearing a bra— the sudden change in temperature from the steaming hot shower to the cool windy night in his bedroom perks your nipples through the thin fabric.

You crinkle your brows. “What are you drooling over? Go shower, you reek of chlorine.”

After he quickly shifts off the bed and showers, he comes out, dressed in his own pjs, pulling the covers off the bed that you’re sitting underneath.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“We still need to talk.”

“There’s no dessert here.” You state firmly.

He glares at you, sliding into the empty space beside you before snagging the blanket to drape over the both of you. “Just think of me. I’m sweet.”

You hum, lying down closer to him to gather his radiating body warmth as he wraps his arms around your frame. “More like bitter.”

Jungkook must have been spent. His breathing was slowing down and his lids were heavy from such an eventual yet long day that it even shut him up from responding with a comeback.

When what feels like hours later, you’re still awake, head resting on his chest with his arm placed underneath your body. “This feels right,” you say to no one in particular, tapping your finger against his peck. “Everything about you feels right.”

Letting out a sigh, you continue. “Watching and hearing about all these girls that are head over heels for you eventually get rejected or forgotten about is discouraging. It makes me feel as though I’m just like them— pining for a guy who would never love me back. I remember when I told you about my crush on Taehyung and you immediately shot down my beliefs. I hated you for that until I realized that you were right. Maybe I didn’t like him because once I knew how I felt about you, my crush... seemed so small in comparison.” You’re tracing imaginary shapes on his body with your pointer finger, murmuring while scrambling through your disorganized thoughts.

“Yura convinced me to tell you how I feel. I don’t understand what goes on in her mind but she thinks that you’ve been hinting things to me. Even so, I’m scared of losing you as a friend. What if this doesn’t work out? What if you reject me and we resent each other?” You clench your jaw, taking in a deep breath before rounding up every brave cell in your body. “Regardless of that... I think I love you.” and instantaneously, you feel the weight of burden lift from your shoulders. Even though he’s asleep through your confession, it felt good to at last say those words confidently out loud.

But Jungkook’s not asleep. He’s wide awake, freezing in place like a statue, careful not to startle you. You love him.

#gyukultfics #jungkook #jungkook fics #jungkook fanfic #bts #bts fanfic #jungkook smut #bts smut #fanfic #kfanfic #what else do you tag here i really don't know give me some suggestions please

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the-breath-in-air · 3 years

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Fixing "Boy Erased" (2018)

I recently decided to watch Boy Erased (2018) again, now that we're a couple years out from its initial release (and hype). And I came away with some thoughts.

First, something I think worked. You know that scene near the end, when Jared (Lucas Hedges) is trying to leave the conversion camp and he's racing through corridors and whatnot. That whole sequence works, but there's one moment that really stands out.

Jared attempts to get his phone and Michael (one of the 'camp counselors') tries to physically wrestle it away from him. There's a bit of a fight but eventually Jared makes his way to the bathroom and he calls his mom to come take him away. He then emerges from the bathroom and says to Victor Sykes (who runs the camp), "If you, or anyone else puts their hands on me, I have witnesses." Victor puts up his hands and says, "Nobody's gonna put their hands on you. Why would anybody do that? Come and sit. We're gonna wait for your mom, okay?" Then there's a hard cut to this:

Victor Sykes and Brandon literally laying their hands on Jared and praying. And I love that juxtaposition because it brings to light the violence inherent in this situation. They're restraining him through enforced religious acts. There's violence in this prayer.

And on top of that, it serves as a pretty good metaphor for the whole film. Jared's parents (especially his mother) believe they're helping but really they're hurting. They can't see the violence of their actions in sending him to the camp.

If only the rest of the film was working on this level.

Problem the first: Audience as observer. The film is really about observing its subject, Jared, as he experiences these events. But it isn't about giving us any insight into his perspective or interiority as he does so. The camera is looking at Jared more often that it is revealing to us what he's seeing. Perhaps the most obvious example of this issue is with the perfume ad scene. Jared is on a run and he comes across a perfume ad on the side of a bus stop with a bare chested buff guy. The camera shows us the ad, and then the rest of the scene has the camera (and thus, the audience) placed some distance away as we see Jared first touch the ad, then throw a rock at the ad, and then scream "fuck you" at it repeatedly. The ad itself isn't salacious enough to illicit that kind of response in the average audience-goer, and the camera is so disconnected from Jared's experience that we aren't really gaining insight into why this ad is affecting him in such a strong way. It ends up making it so that scene really does not work.

This isn't to critique Lucas Hedges's performance in that scene. It's more to say that all the other elements of that scene make it feel ridiculous - because the audience has not been guided toward viewing that ad in the same way that Jared does in that moment.

The second problem: Casting. To be absolutely clear, this is not a knock against any of the actors performances. On the contrary, I think everyone was pretty dang exceptional. Rather, it's more a conversation about casting choices. Two of those choices really stand out as somewhat misguided: Xavier Dolan as Jon and Emily Hinkler as Lee.

Turns out Emily Hinkler is a nonbinary actress. Lee (the character) is a cis guy who is conspicuously unmasculine. (If you've seen the movie - he's the one who gets hit in the head with a baseball). Casting a nonbinary actress as a cis boy at a conversion camp feels a bit off on it's own in that a conversion camp would be forcing people to adhere to assigned genders at birth. But I could get behind it as a sort of statement, like, a casting decision as direct opposition to the enforced gender binary of a conversion camp. i.e. Why should the movie adhere to the oppressive gender binary that the camp would? However, by casting a nonbinary actress as the least conventionally masculine character - it actually feels like it ends up reinforcing the binary. Lee's defining trait is that he's small and unmanly and, afaik, he's the only one of the male characters who is not portrayed by a cis man.

My issue with Xavier Dolan's casting is much simpler: Jon feels like he was written as a teenager and Xavier Dolan was approaching 30 when this was filmed. Maybe it wouldn't have bugged me so much if I didn't already know who Xavier Dolan was when watching the movie? Like, maybe if you watch it without knowing the actor's age, it works better? But also, the character feels like a teen but isn't explicitly stated to be a teen. So whenever he was on screen I kept wondering if actually part of Jon's situation is meant to be that he is 30 but stuck in a sort-of adolescence due to his relationship with his abusive father. Or did they just cast Xavier Dolan to portray a teenager?

This brings me to the third problem: Not enough of the ensemble. Jared, and thus the audience, spends proportionally, little screen time with the other people at the camp. They are rarely shown talking to each other - especially outside the restrictive observation of the camp's 'counselors.' This could be part of the point - i.e. that the camp is so isolating - but that isolation wasn't really highlighted by the camera/scenes/dialogue...so it really feels more like it's just an oversight. The movie focuses on Jared and his individual story and so the rest just fell by the wayside.

This is really unfortunate because there are some (potentially) great characters in there, especially Jon and Gary. Jon went through the program once before and is now back for a second time. We don't know what happened to make him come back. He appears to be 30-ish but he's staying at a hotel with his abusive father. He is completely invested in the program and treats his sexuality like an addiction. He has even taken it upon himself to forego all physical contact with other men (not even a handshake). His self-loathing is at once horrifying and heartbreaking.

In contrast, Gary (Troye Sivan) knows the entire program is bullshit, but he's playing along for his own survival. He's over 18; he lived with his boyfriend for a year prior to coming to the camp. So that begs the question of how his family convinced him to enter to the program. Also, Gary's so invested in his own survival, that he stays silent and is complacent in the abuse and violence he witnesses against others in the camp. He is both a victim and a bystander (at times).

I think this film would've really benefited from spending more time with these characters (as well as Sarah, portrayed by Jesse LaTourette, and Cameron, portrayed by Britton Sear) in the camp and seeing how they all interacted with each other. Give us a sense of their different contexts and perspectives - and give us a better sense of the ways that conversion camps disempower the people sent there (even people like Gary, who knows it's bullshit). It's the thing that makes all the other movies about conversion camps work so well.

Which brings us to the fourth problem: the ending. If we spend more time with the ensemble, we'd either end up with a really long movie or we'd have to cut out something else. Well, folks, we can cut about 10 minutes off the end. Everything after the dinner Jared has with his mother post-escape can go. The climax of the film is when Jared finally decides to leave the camp. The resolution comes when his mother places herself in opposition to Jared's father (which she had never done before) and decides that she's going to take Jared home. And the emotional resolution comes when she admits to Jared that they made a mistake and that they harmed him by sending him to the camp.

Everything after that is extraneous. We don't really need to see Jared living in a city with a boyfriend, or see him begin to reconcile with his father. His relationship with his father was never the emotional core for the film. Boy Erased is, in some ways, a movie about self-actualization and that's the sort of movie that's best to end with something a bit open-ended. Y'know...a sort of end-that's-just-the-beginning kind of thing. Because the story of Jared falling in love and dating and moving out and gaining the self-confidence to confront his father - well that's a whole other movie. And here it gets shoved into the epilogue, which does the whole thing a real disservice.

Then there are the informational cards at the end. Two stick out as being particularly frustrating. One, "The real Victor Sykes left L.I.A. in 2008. He now lives in Texas, with his husband," feels irrelevant and unnecessary. The audience cares about what happened to Gerrard Conley (who wrote the story and whom Jared is based off of). But why do we care about what happened to the real guy who ran the camp? We don't...except for the jab about him now being married to a man - which feels like it's a more significant point for the cis straight people in the audience than for anyone queer. Turns-out-ex-gay-pastor-was-actually-just-gay-the-whole-time is not revelatory, I gotta say.

Then there's also this:

The emphasis about conversion therapy "practiced on minors," feels a bit disconnected from the film we just watched - which emphasized how abusive and traumatizing it is, even for adults. And in the U.S., all states currently legally allow conversion therapy for anyone 18+. Only Washington D.C. has banned it. And that, to me, is equally egregious, yet it isn't mentioned. The film itself challenges the notion that it's somehow okay for this to be practiced on adults because it's ostensibly their "choice," and then the info cards at the end shy away from that stance by focusing on kids.

I think the thing I find most frustrating about this movie, is the wasted potential. As I said at the beginning of this, there are some moments that really stand out in how they use the medium to convey meaning. There are some choices in how the film uses light and brightness (or lack thereof), that are pretty dang good, too. But ultimately, it's a film I feel so detached from and I think some of what I explained above is part of why.

#boy erased #lucas hedges #xavier dolan #emily hinkler #troye sivan #joel edgerton #nicole kidman #jesse latourette #britton sear

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applejongho · 3 years

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2020, a year that will live in infamy. This list, some book series' or standalones that will live rent free in my heart for the next three and a half years.

Books that Got Me Through 2020 (so you can read them in 2021)

The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare

part of the enormous shadowhunter series (the mortal instruments, for example, and you don't have to read it first but you can)

literally??? the best fuckin love triangle to exist?? ever??

like seriously I don't like love triangles but I'd murder for this one

wonderfully developed characters

WONDERFULLY DEVELOPED CHARACTERS

off the rails badass demon fighting pretty black haired boy

gentle and kind (half) chinese violinist that I would jump off of a building for that also fights demons

shapeshifting bibliophile girl that's trying to protect and simultaneously figure out her family bc her dad is probably a demon

like magic? fighting demons? vampires? warlocks? 19th century london? ANGST??? yeah read this

I don't cry over books but I cried over the epilogue of the third book

The Cruel Prince Series - Holly Black

are you a hoe for enemies to lovers?

if yes then this series will make you their bitch

literally the BEST angry female character I've read ever

like she's not annoying or overly brash or dark or angsty, she just living in a world that hates her while being the badass queen she is

and the prince

OH he's a joy to read

he's a lil bitch and I love him (read: dramatic bitch)

he's also a fairy (and she's not)

and basically says he hates her during make out sessions so

one of my favorite dynamics... ever

and some of the descriptions and words... *chef's kiss* I still think about them even today

a bit of lgbtq representation (bi girl that dates a girl) but not the main focus

I think I ate up the first book in two days which is insane for me

The Poppy War Series - R.F. Kuang

this author is literally a sadist bc none of the characters make it out happy

fjjdkddk besides that: imagine imperialist Japan and yu-gi-oh and combine them together

like literally the humans start controlling the gods it's metal af

heavy as hell series that has implied rape and implied massacre, but the majority of the series is a war so that's a little expected

it's not classified as YA, it's adult, and is based on true events of the sino-japanese war

main character is also extremely badass, she literally destoys her uterus after getting a period for the first time bc she hated the pain

that alone should compel you

would recommend if you like getting slammed into walls

also! the first part of the book is a lot like harry potter (students going to a school to train for a hypothetical war if it ever came) but then the second half and the rest of the books is Actually The War, It's Here Now, Suffer

there's also a character that's basically draco malfoy but 10000x sexier and I should mention that I was a slut for draco for about a year of my life so that says a lot

and the author is a POC!

The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires - Grady Hendrix

a group of housewives that essentially everyone thinks are dumb af and incapable of anything besides giving birth and raising children fight an immortal, bloodthirsty, and generally dick vampire

honestly I've seen reviews saying this book is kinda sexist (author is a white man) but as a woman I didn't see any problems? Idk

I read it via an audiobook and I think it would be kinda dry to read as a physical book bc it's sorta slow in the beginning

but then the second half is A Ride™

a rly unorthodox book! and I enjoyed it

also heavy themes such as rape and (overt) sexism (the setting is the south in the 90s)

but just a good book to read if you like seeing the underdog prevail

and the description and the depiction of the vampire is v unique, he's not your typical vampire, he's like,,,

an immortal god that drinks blood

yeah

The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare

another cc book series lol

same premise as the other one: fantasy creatures and demon hunters except it's modern day

there is SO much lgbtq+ representation (imo, I think it was done well. other people think otherwise tho)

like a black trans woman opening up about her struggles of transitioning, which isn't something I see a lot (ig I don't read enough books abt trans people? or the fantasy genre doesn't have enough of them)

fairies fairies fairies fairies

there's also a crap ton of characters bc the main character's family is enormous

and they're all developed SO WELL

LIKE FR THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YES

a dumptruck load of angst and ✨forbidden romance✨ that's almost as big as my ass

honestly this is one of those series' that you don't even realize you've finished it until you've shut the cover of the final book and you're zapped back to reality

Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo

my god

this series is honestly everything I ever wanted into a book

physically and mentally disabled characters? yep

diverse characters of color? yep

lgbtq diversity? yes ma'am!

interesting and exciting plotline? i n d e e d

six loveable main characters that could probably murder me in my sleep! fuck yeah

plotline is basically a heist novel and these characters have to do this near impossible mission in order to get glory

oh and they all wanna kill each other

two of them wanna fuck but also fucking hate each other and I love that for them

not a romance heavy book tho, but the romance (as a subplot) that is there is 10000/10 y'know

if you're in a book slump I recommend this to awaken you from your drought bc this quenched my thirst and I'm thirsty af

happy reading!!!

#book recs #2020 books #the infernal devices #the poppy war #the cruel prince #rape tw #sexism tw #the dark artifices #the southern book club's guide to slaying vampires #six of crows #bookblr #ya books #adult books #books and libraries

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exciting · 3 years

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As requested, books / series I read in 2020 in the order I read them, with a few brief thoughts. (This took me a hot second because there are a few and also I moved cities) Should I keep a consistent goodreads? Yes I should but I didn’t think of that at the time, so bone apple teeth & sorry if I offend you abt your faves x

P.S. I can’t figure out how to do a read more on mobile so long post ahead!

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas - This is one of the most vivid published fantasy books I have ever read... I read it twice in rapid succession. The fandom POPS off. I must say I have issues with certain aspects e.g. fae lore completely ignored à la Twilight, all love interests 500+ years old and technically a different species, etc (I’m not going to deconstruct the entire series here but just know that I could... Nesta deserves better)

Cruel Prince by Holly Black - This fucking slaps, HB clearly has done her research, the lore is near immaculate, and it explores the Fae in such a unique way, tying it to the modern world subtly and seamlessly. My only qualm was that the books felt quite short; truly wish there had been more content.

Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas (6/7) - So basically I read this in one single, hyperfixated fit which meant I literally locked myself in my room for three days straight and read all six books back to back in a row from morning to the wee hours. Which is not to say it was spectacular; although it was a VERY rich world, sometimes it was too much... this felt like 6 stories in one. Ik she was young when she wrote this but it is my humble opinion that SJM needs a better editor & I personally think Rowan is a grade A asshole / straight up abusive (& personally think the ACOTAR Tamlin plot was born from that?). It’s good but not as good as ACOTAR. Skip-read the last book.

Grishaverse (Shadow and Bone) by Leigh Bardugo (3) - This is essential to read before SOC but was very much simply a YA fantasy book, although the world was cool and the way the love plot played out was, imo, a subtle middle finger to the fantasy trope. Felt very much aimed at younger readers though? Really liked the sandwhich structure of the Proluge and Epilogue, especially in #2

Six of Crows series by Leigh Bardugo (2) - INCREDIBLE continuation of Grishaverse, better than the original series by a mile. It has the range, the diversity, the representation (the male lead is a disabled asexual and still the most cunning of the entire cast of characters), the plot is phenomenal, and it manages such a well rounded plot in only two books which means nothing is stretched out or squeezed in more than need be. Deserves all the praise it gets.

King of Scars series by Leigh Bardugo (0.5/1) - Personally I don’t consider this book canon, and while it’s nice to see the rest of Nina’s journey & the world again & everyone else, I don't like it. I will, however, be reading book 2 when it comes out, so shame on me, I suppose.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (1/1) - this was incredibly cool although it went off in a completely different direction than I thought it would based off the first few chapters? One of my favourite YA-author-debuts-New-Adult novels in 2020 though!

Crescent City by Sarah J Maas (1/1) - This was supposed to be SJM/s New Adult debut, although personally I would put her other series in New Adult, and I can’t say a remarkable amount was different with this except they said “fuck” and “ass” a lot. WHY is the romantic interest 500 years old AGAIN. I just... don’t... I just don’t think it was necessary... the world was cool though, and the last half of the book was riveting, but the beginning was quite slow and I thought the sword thing was predictable. I am interested to see where this goes though.

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab (3) - This world is so fucking cool... four Londons aka parallel universes & the one in ‘our’ world is set in industrial era London. Magic, girls dressing up as boys, thieves, pirates, royalty... it all just slaps. Schwab is an incredible writer & I was completely immersed.

Midnight Sun by SMeyer - I didn’t think anything could possibly detract even further from the Twilight story but I was sorely mistaken... seeing the stalking from Edward’s POV - and it was worse than depicted in Twilight, for the record - completely obliterated any sort of romance the first half of the original book may have portrayed. I still hold the opinion that the entire series would have been better if some kind of vampire lore had been abided by, if only to see all of the villains thwarted by someone dropping a bag of rice on the ground, forcing them to have to count them all.

An ember in the Ash by Sabaa Tahir (3/4) - This was just a very stereotypical ya fantasy series, emphasis on the YOUNG... it wasn’t anything to write home about but I remember quite enjoying it at the time.

The Power by Naomi Alderman - This book is FUCKING incredible and EXCEPTIONALLY thought provoking... essentially women alone develop a power of electric shock etc. and then take over the world from men, and it explores feminism and the balance between equality & tipping the scales in the other direction. Written by a friend of M.Atwood in a similar tone to handmaids tale, I would say? Content warning; there are some exceptionally graphic scenes in the latter half of the novel.

Hamlet by Wllm Shksp - I can’t believe it took me this long to finally read it but Ophelia is my favourite name in the entire world & we love to see a woman go batshit (although she didn’t deserve that).

Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas - this was unsettling in the best sense of the word... it was a little slow & honestly more of a concept than a big reveal, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it after I finished it? A Secret History vibes but make it blurry like the memory of all those dystopian novels you read when you were young?

The Invisible Life of Addie La Rue by V.E. Schwab - This is without a doubt my book of the year, and probably the best book I read in 2020? I stayed up all night on a friend’s couch reading it, got a book hangover and reread the ending, and then thrust it upon my mother who doesn’t usually read but read this, and loved it just as much. HIGHLY recommend and you HAVE to read it, it’s beautiful and endearing and just plain wonderful.

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat (3/3) - I went into this knowing it was going to be terrible, because I had received a blow by blow telling me as much; although I must say that it did learn a remarkable amount of new words, the books did get better as the series went on, and it did have a rather charming ending? BIG content warning for almost everything.

Sapiens by Yuval Harari - mind-expanding & must recommend for everyone, there is everything in this and I daresay everyone should posses this kind of knowledge? I listened to it as an audiobook (which I recommend because it’s rather hearty) but will be buying this in hardcopy & rereading it with annotations.

Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller - Without a doubt, one of the most beautiful novels I have ever read, and certainly the most beautiful portrayal of the story of Achilles and the battle of Troy I have ever seen. Patroclus deserved the justice that was given to him in this book; indeed, all of the characters were written with justice and grace. Highly recommend.

Trials of Apollo by Rick Riordan (3/5) - Apollo is my favourite Greek God, and the sexiest greek god, and Rick Riordan’s writing slaps, as always. It did pain me to see Apollo, the sexy immortal, have to be forced back into a 16 year old’s body but everything else? Whimsical & wonderful, as expected.

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong - a retelling of Romeo and Juliette, except it’s set in Shanghai in the 1920′s, and the protagonists already have a history. Very well done, characters are incredibly diverse in race, sexual orientation, gender, and ability / disability (and honestly, representation has never appeared so effortless and elegant). Also it includes a monster and possible magic. Incredibly underrated and highly recommend.

The Once and Future Witches by Alix. E Harrow - this was such a unique concept, and truly captivating, the story was charming, and felt like the kind of beautiful fairytale you would read as children but with more grit? ABSOLUTELY recommend this one

The Pisces by Melissa Broder - I hated this so much, not my vibe at all. Mermaid smut x therapy but make it cynical and judgemental (I know there was a moral in there but that’s not my point) also the dog dies.

Library of the Unwritten by A.J. Hackwith (1/2) - really interesting & unique concept (all unwritten novels / ideas reside in a special library that is part of Hell and then sometimes the books can come to life) however, my first thought upon reading this was “this reads as if it’s stemmed from one of those writing prompt tumblr posts” bc of the tone and whatever and as it turns out I was somewhat correct, it did stem from a short story (not bad just obvious). It did kind of settle down as it went on but I found reading it kind of a drag, and I don’t think I will read the second one.

Abandon by Meg Cabot - 1. Meg Cabot’s writing always fucking slaps 2. Hades and Persephone but make it modern & very 2000′s & somehow kind of unique 3. I literally loved this, sue me

Medusa Girls (Sweet Venom) by Tera Childs - Like Percy Jackson except they are descendants of Medusa so they are Gorgons and have fangs & venom (hence the title). Gave me very 2000′s vibes? Quite cool but tbh I found the books quite short (like two hours each, if that)? Do NOT read the GoodReads description of the book before you read it, you will spoil it for yourself.

Bring me their Hearts by Sara Wolf - In my opinion, this is one of the most underrated YA series I read in 2020. The heroine is endearing, self aware, witty, and loves to look pretty even while kicking ass which in my opinion is an incredibly underrated trait. Also, immortality without being hundreds of years old? VERY sexy. HIGHLY recommend.

A Deal with the Elf King by Elise Kova - High commendation to be given for the fact that it is a standalone and yet manages to fit in the plot of what would usually be a full fantasy trilogy without cutting corners or being a million miles long? Also sweet storyline & beautiful ending? If you liked ACOTAR you should read this as a “what would have / could have been had SJM had a different editor” (No shade I promise).

The Iron Fae by Julie Kagawa (4/4 + novellas) - Incredibly detailed faerie set around the modern world & our current use of technology & iron in it. Very neat adventure-style series, by the time I read the last novella I was well and truly done with the world (aka provided enough content to be fulfilling). Was definitely aimed at a younger audience though, NO smut / smut was brushed over.

The Modern Faerie Tales by Holly Black (3/3 SS) - This is technically the prequel to Cruel prince, set in the modern world, but with the fae world inside it as it traditional? All I have to say is that it is excellent & I highly recommend it.

Bridgerton series (The Duke and I) by Julia Quinn (9/9) - I read this after watching the Netflix show twice through and I am obsessed, although the books were not quite as elegant as the show, and some parts that made me cringe either by their portrayal (it is very firmly set in the 19th century and thus some things are not handled with tact or grace), the characters were exceptionally loveable and I am so excited to see where the show takes them! Lovely language & an abundance of words I had never seen before (always a plus).

#the number of these which I hate with a passion now #fuck my life #HATE SJM #MAD about grishaverse #ASHAMED of bridgerton and the feminism leeched from my soul after reading this

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